#caleb meta

[sky-scribbles]

I keep thinking about how Caleb used to see himself back in Campaign 2, especially early on. 'I am a disgusting person.' Referring to himself as one of the assholes of the group. Constantly talking about himself as damned, corruptible, somehow inherently flawed just by virtue of being a wizard. Resisting every suggestion from those around him that he was good.

And then I think about how, when Essek described him to strangers, the first word he used was kind.

[revanisadumbass]

thinking about names as they relate to the jedi post-genocide.

ben kenobi has one foot in tatooine and another still in that old life. his mission may have changed, but he is still a jedi. he still has a job to do.

ahsoka tano stopped thinking of herself as a jedi long before the empire rose. yet her name seems to doom her--ahsoka tano is a jedi, to the clones, to other survivors. maybe that is why when she hides, she hides with parts of herself--ashla as a reminder of the friends she lost, fulcrum as an understanding of the role she must play in a galaxy without jedi.

cal kestis does not try to hide, cannot try to hide because cal kestis will always be a scared child clutching a too-big lightsaber, falling through the sky.

kanan jarrus buries caleb dume as deep as he can--hides his name, hides his instincts and everything he was taught to be. tries to become the opposite. except a jedi by any other name is still a jedi. call him cowboy, gunslinger, spectre, but underneath all that is still a heart of kyber.

[all-made-of-stardust]

i firmly choose to believe that the reason there weren't any cats in that house when Bells Hells bamfed in was because both Essek and Caleb are responsible cat parents and they both realized that their usual hierarchy of in-home catsitters (Beau & Yasha -> Jester & Fjord -> Veth, Yeza & Luc -> Caduceus) was depleted because they were all gonna busy with the liveshow shenanigans.

You know who wasn't busy? Kingsley.

You know who was next in that hierarchy? Definitely not Kingsley! (It was probably Dairon, but Dairon was busy running around the Cobalt Soul frantically)

So I love to imagine that the world is going to hell and there's at LEAST four cats in their house that need proper care and nobody is available to do it, so in a last ditch effort (because Mittens needs a special wet food diet and Krumel needs some medication and the others are simply too social to be left alone for too long) Essek phones up Kingsley and asks him.

Only for then, four days later, Essek stops into the house briefly to grab supplies and pauses halfway up the hall when he realizes that the cats are nowhere to be seen.

"Kingsley?" he Sends, trusting of his friend but not entirely sure of his character. "Where are the cats?"

"Oh, I had to go deal with a new trade deal by Port Damali!" Kingsley replies cheerfully. "Don't worry, the cats are with me!"

Essek pauses. Inhales deeply. This was the man he helped save, this was the man he mourned before a literal miracle of the gods brought him back.

"Kingsley," he Sends again, already bitter about the extra spell slot usage. "Are you at sea? Are you on a boat?"

"Yup!" comes the unadulterated happy reply. "The Captain's cabin is nice and roomy, and Krumel loves chasing down mice! Surprisingly helpful on a boat, cats! I might keep 'em!"

Essek physically restrains himself from wasting another spell slot on the tiefling. Instead, he touches the stone held in his palm.

"Caleb," he sighs. "I believe our cats were catnapped by Kingsley."

All he hears on the other end is a fit of laughter.

[sldlovescartoons]

Some Professor Widogast thoughts:

So, you know about how weird it is to see a teacher outside of a school setting? That’d definitely be a thing with the Academy students, but at least for most of the Professors it was at normal places like the market or at Balls or whatever. Not Caleb, though, or well yess also then but also other times.

Like you’re a fancy rich kid, you go to fancy wizard school, and you’re doing a rebellion by sneaking out to this underground club with these crazy new age bards and a bar and a fight ring. You feel so badass and then you get there and your Transmutation 101 teacher is there, drunk, getting playfully grinded on the left and right by a purple tiefling and a married halfling that’s husband is dancing on her- and you just leave. Just right away. You don’t even have time to notice Expositor Lionnet trying to get to second base with her wife right behind them.

One student is from a prominent land owner in the Zemni Fields, their family goes to Blumnethal’s festivals to set up stands to sell wares and have a good time. They go to a fight pit that they hear is really cool, they have a keg stand and everything, and they get there and their teacher who’s pushing 40 and teaches their ‘Advanced Components 205’ every Wednesday is doing a keg stand, being held upside down by a blue tiefling and a half orc dressed like they stepped out of smut book with a sea theme, while two scary looking lesbians and and Halfling in sundress cheer him on. And when they let him down, the whole group immediately jumps into the fighting ring and destroy the competition even though the Halfling looks like they are too drunk to see and none of them are in decent gear. The group gets bored right away, start a three way shoulder war/chicken fight, which goes to hell right way because they all try to cheat. The Monk has their Professor in some sort of leg lock when the student’s father drags them out.

A student’s family goes on summer vacation to Nicodranas. To their horror, they find out that Professor Widogast and his friends don’t believe in bathing suits when they go to the beach.

The best part? Everytime something like this happens, nobody believes it.

[residentinsomniacartist]

wait wait wait guys have you ever thought about how the Mighty Nein are everything they shouldn’t be upon first glance

no no guys guys listen to me they’re all the antithesis of what they’re meant to be and that’s why they’re such amazing and heartfelt characters

like, Caleb is a wizard who’s afraid of his own fire magic. his own power causes him to falter in battle. his strongest spells are his most dangerous to himself. wizards are supposed to be prideful of their magic, but Caleb’s is the reason he hates himself

Beau is a monk who never wanted to be. her job is one that people normally associate with being calm and collected and Beau was a wild rebellious kid who got dragged into this line of work against her will. she never wanted to be this!! but now she is and she’s gotta deal with it!!

Fjord is a warlock who never wanted power from his pact, which is why you’d think a warlock would make their pact at all. but no. Fjord made his pact because he wanted to live, not because he wanted power. he was a scared orphan who hated his tusks, not a buff, muscled, angry half-orc like people assumed

Nott is NOT, that’s the whole crux of her narrative! she wasn’t pretty, like a halfling girl was supposed to be. she wasn’t a goblin, she was just transformed into one. and not only that, but despite being a three-foot-tall alcoholic kleptomaniac, she’s the mom of the group!

Jester is a Cleric whose god isn’t actually a god and who would much rather bash bad guys over the head with her lollipop than have to stop and heal her friends!! she’s a bubbly, optimistic ray-of-sunshine, but you know when she says she’s gonna change the world with friendship she means it as a threat

Mollymauk is an amnesiac, but he doesn’t want to remember who he was. if you ask him, that wasn’t him! he might be a flirtatious hedonistic carnie, but he’s also single-mindedly devoted to making the world a better and more loved place than it was when he found it. he’s a liar, but he means well. he’s an arrogant fool, yes, but he’s right! he did it! he left it better!

Caduceus seems like he’d be creepy and grim from growing up in a graveyard, but he’s actually the most chill out of the entire Nein by far. he’s calm, he’s sweet, and he’s comforting, more than anything else. you’d think he’d be amazed by seeing the outside world for the first time, but he spends the whole time knowing that one day he’ll return home, that he wasn’t supposed to be the one to leave

Yasha is a barbarian with skeletal wings and a dramatic, monochromatic look, but she’s a complete sweetheart. she’s Molly’s best friend, she was a carnival bouncer, she’s a lesbian disaster who collects pressed flowers in a book out of love for the wife she lost. those black wings were actually hiding soft white feathers

Essek was born straight into the den of politics, he was a spymaster, he literally started a war for his own gain, and yet. he’s sounds irredeemable on paper, but. he’s not!! sure, the Nein kind of have to drag his alignment kicking and screaming into neutral, but they manage it. Essek learns and grows and he overcomes his nature. he becomes good, against all odds

guys guys guys don’t you see it!! look at them!!they’re such compelling characters!! they’re everything they’re not supposed to be!! dude y’all how didn’t I realize this earlier!! they subvert their narratives in the most interesting ways ever and I justhshsbhshshsjnsmshsnhsfn!!

[cross-d-a]

something something about Caleb Dume surviving the genocide of his people and divorcing himself from his culture and remaking himself entirely in order to survive

and something something about orphaned Ezra Bridger who loves Lothal but doesn’t quite belong being adopted into a self-made-cobbled-together family of outcasts from multiple cultures

and something something about Kanan choosing to embrace his culture and religion again despite his fear and the risk it brings to him and his family

and something something about Ezra embracing that culture as whole-heartedly as he can when so much of it has been lost

and something something about both of being denied the ability to practice certain aspects of their religion because otherwise they might be killed for it

and something something about Kanan remembering how Master Billaba carefully sheared his hair and oh so reverently plaited his Padawan braid and held it gently between her fingertips and told him she would do right by him and told him not to be afraid and told him she would be there for him until her dying breath and beyond and told him that he was going to be a great Jedi Knight one day and told him “you are our future youngling and I will do everything in my power to protect that future”

and something something about Kanan looking at Ezra’s wild hair with something hollow and aching tucked between his ribs because he longs to show Ezra the devotion his Master showed him and her Master showed before her and his Master before him but it’s not safe to gently plait that Padawan braid behind Ezra’s ear because such a sign of devotion will mean death and Kanan can only hope that Ezra understands how much Kanan loves him and how much Kanan is proud of him and how much hope and life he sees in his Padawan because while that Padawan braid may be the physical link between future and past tying together generations of Masters and Padawans who have lived and loved and passed on because “we are what they grow beyond”—

Kanan knows that every moment has led to this and Ezra is the future his Master and her Master before her never expected but they would be so proud to see Ezra now and Kanan can only hope Ezra knows how proud Kanan is of him too and know when he looks at Ezra he knows everything is going to be okay because “we are what they grow beyond” and despite everything that’s been lost to them Ezra is carrying the heart and soul of thousands of years of legacy and Kanan looks at Ezra knowing he can’t give him that Padawan braid but he’ll be damned if he can’t teach him the things that matter and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do everything to protect the future he sees in Ezra’s eyes

[essektheylyss]

Because I'm going to be thinking about this forever, I do want to talk about how Caleb speaks, because I think there's something to be said for how his protectiveness (in general) actually presents itself.

Caleb uses epithets and allusions a lot. He refers to Nott as "my goblin friend," to Jester as "my blue friend," to Yasha as "my barbarian friend." Yussa is at one point "our wizard friend," and Essek is "my Kryn friend," in the two-shot.

He is also, notably, paranoid about being surveiled. He wears the amulet of nondetection for most of the campaign, and it's not unwarranted, given that Trent locates him and nearly burns down the Blooming Grove the moment he's able to get a lock on them. Trent in fact has been shown to use any and all information he can get ahold of about or from Caleb against him, to a truly extreme level. His seemingly single-minded goal is expressed to be to ensure that not a single aspect of Caleb's life and loved ones is safe at any moment, to perpetuate the threat of harm from any direction in order to essentially control and monopolize Caleb's every thought.

In Echoes of the Solstice, Caleb does suggest that he is not concerned with Trent being able to surveil him any longer, but Trent is not the only threat, and, timey-wimey plot nonsense aside, the Hells' inability to scry on him since then suggests that he is likely wearing an amulet at least by that point in the timeline.

The extent of Trent's focus on him and his ensuing paranoia is extreme, and even beyond when he may no longer feel that Trent is a threat to him, he seems unwilling to allow him to pose a threat to others, and people he cares about in particular.

Within that context, it's not difficult to read his use of epithets, particularly in referring to people who are not currently present (rather than using their name aloud), as a form of protection. Some of his manner of speaking implicitly or explicitly presumes that he is being surveiled, even outside of the context of protectiveness; after Vess Derogna's death, he frequently refers to Lucian only by epithets, most often, "our old friend," and at one point establishes "Lady D," (to Jester's glee) as a code name for Vess Derogna for the specific purposes of countersurveilance.

This method of protection, I would imagine, goes double for Essek; not only does Caleb have the habit of worrying over those who would use his loved ones against him, which is of course borne out in Echoes of the Solstice, but he also must consider that Essek has his own enemies, and a stray mention of his name in the wrong company or setting could get his partner killed. It seems even in that gifset, when Caleb says, "I am worried for Essek," after the encounter with Trent at Vergessen, that he first considers obfuscating, stumbling over allusory phrasing before acknowledging that Trent already has the information he needs, and at that point Trent is their only real concern about who might care, given Lucien is far too focused on reaching the Astral Sea to worry about hostages.

When Caleb answers Jester's, "And he's going to hurt Essek," with a silence and an oblique reply, it feels most to me like a further measure of protection, knowing that knowledge is power that can be used against him and his loved ones, and silence is the weapon he has against it.

[deramin2]

I wish everyone who called Shadowgast queerbaiting at the end of Campaign 2 a very happy eat shit forever.

They weren't entirely sure where their relationship was between platonic, romantic, or queerplatonic, but they were obviously gay for each other about it. Like real queer people often are.

[ludinusdaleth]

a brilliant setup in campaign 3 that will finally begin to come to fruition next chronological episode is that ludinus is staring into the faces of people who pretty much all directly represent his sins and how they've hurt people. imogen is the manipulation & abuse of ruidisborn (specifically liliana). fearne is also representative of ruidisborn but also the way ludinus has hunted & slaughtered fae to extend his own life, how he has manipulated their courts. laudna is the wanton unchecked cruelty of the cerberus assembly. fcg (there in spirit) is the idolization of aeor and choosing to bring what brought it down back for all of exandria to bear. ashton (and while this post is about the bells, it does extend directly to essek) is the experimentation on the luxon that started an entire war because he wouldn't turn the beacons over to a culture he despised & oppressed. orym is the decimation of the ashari for a mere test run. chetney is the corruption in the greying wildlands, the destruction of molaesmyr simply to contact predathos.

[sparring-spirals]

Jester follows Caleb in, dutifully, loyally, ready to fight on his behalf, of course. Of course. And Fjord balks, a little, everyone hesitates, for a moment. But she was always going to go in. She was always going to go in. How could they let Caleb go in there alone, facing Trent, facing his undead parents? Facing his worst fear, his worst guilts, his worst enemies. She follows him in.

How could they let Caleb go in there alone? With just his parents, with Trent. With just his parents, almost the same but not quite, speaking and moving, with Trent and his poison honeyed words. Facing his worst guilt, and a twisted form of forgiveness, and something he has been aching for but cannot have. She follows him in, because she loves him, because she wants to protect him, because shes sorry he has to face this. Because she. Is sorry.

She follows him in, because Jester is always willing to do what is needed to protect the people that are hers. Jester is always willing to do what she has to do to protect her people, whatever that looks like.

Jester follows him in, and looks at him and says- I'm so sorry. And casts Turn Undead.

[callowyn]

do you guys think anyone on ruidus was getting cognouza dreams for a minute there? like imagine being the yak farmer assigned to yussa errenis. for a while there you go to sleep and it's

A̶̶̛̟̝͍̖̟̻͖̘͔̺̳͌͌͊̋̂͑ͬ̓̄͌̋ͣ͑͛̿͊̈͋ͯ̅̾̚͢͟͢͢͜͟͝͞͡A̞͎̤̟͐̇̇ͦͩ̈́ͤ̏A̜̙̣͓̪̽̀ͩͨ̈́͂̉͟A̸̤̩̘̬ͨ̔̇̀̋̍͗̀ͩ̔̐ͅḀ̵̛̹̼̥̞̞̦̰̘͚͓̦͕̬̐̉͆͐ͣͯͪ̓̓͗͆͘͠Ã̛͖͎͌̀A̵̴̛͇̹̼̯̥͉̬̥̹ͮͬͩ̊́̀ͭ̀̎͆́ͤ͐̇͛̌̍͠A̵̵̗̦͙̖͚̰͚̩̻̥̟̼̘͈̩̻̳̬͉̮͔̰͊̿̑̓̄̑̊͘͝Ả̷̷̧̡̤̹̞͎͇̲̠̼͕̠̊̍ͧͫ̈́ͩͬ͆͛ͤ̄͒ͧ̑͛̒͘̕͝ͅA͔̮͗̌ͬ͢A̧̛̯̣͔͎̪̭̠̲̪̼̟͎̙͕͉̖̓ͨ̀͗͑ͣ̏̎̎ͪͣ͑̽ͬ͛̿̈́̽̚͜͡͝͝͡ͅ F̸̨̛͎̝̳̺̖͎͉͔͕͔̝̻̙͎̈́͂͛̎͋͂͛ͪ͊̀ͧ̒̒̈ͬ̅́ͫ̀ͦ͘̚͠͡Ļ̵̷̵̩̰̭̥̟͇͚̬ͪ̾ͭ̀͋͋́̃̈́̚͞Ę̶̵̵̶̶̤͈̖͓̟̭͓͆̓ͯ͛͂̒͌ͫ͊̃͐ͦ̍̆̏̅͐̏̑̚͢͠ͅS̛̲̥̬ͭ̉̀ͧ̍H̸̶̛͓͖̗̬̰͖̩̥͔͕͕̅ͪ̈́͆̊̃͊̋ͧ̕͜ͅ Hͬ͆ͣ̂ͤ̉͑Ọ̷̤̮̙̫̯͍̊̆̽͛ͧ̓̎̊̈́ͫ́ͭ̑̔́̂͢͜͟͠R̶̴̦͙̮̥̫̠͊̐̅ͫͦ̍͒͛͐͒ͩ̄̉͐͊R̨̦̪͖͔͍͔̠͖̍̿̐ͥ́̊ͨ̎ͮ̾́ͦ́̀ͬ̓͂ͫ̌̚͟͞Ŏ̡͎̝͍̹ͬ̅̚͘Ṟ̡̢̢̦͇̫̣̩͉̬̝͔̩͌ͯͤ̽̓͂́̄̈́͛́ͮ͂̀͆̇̕͜͜͢͠ F̠̄̇ͪL̸͔̲̞̟͙͍̻ͥ̅̇̐͞͝_̵̢͍͙̼̠̰̘ͫͩ̆͒̈ͨ̈́̈́̉͟ͅͅĘ̡̨̫̻͚̤͖͓͉̆ͫͭ̈Ș̸̟̤̦̥̩́̾ͣ̉͜͠͝H̛̛͙͕͈̱͉̦͔͍̄̂̈̾ͭͯ̂̿̔͘

but then you wake up and go to work. on the moon

[findmeinthefallair]

There hasn't been any interaction between Raeda and Hunter except pretty minor moments:

But man oh man is there common ground now:

I have no clue if they'll do it but it would be really rad if Eda and Hunter stand side by side in front of Philip in Watching and Dreaming, to tell him it's all over.

I want Raeda to adopt himmmm...but it's probs not happenin'..

[revvethasmythh]

it's so funny to me that caleb and veth really did just trade off the job of intensely pining for the other at like the halfway point of the campaign. like, imo, nott in the early days did not behave in any real romantic or even romance-adjacent ways toward him--I imagine it would be very hard to even think in that way when you hate what you look like so much, have such low self-esteem, and are actively lying about your entire past, including a secret husband. caleb, on the other hand, is kind of diving directly back into the sort of relationship he had with astrid and eadwulf. very close, very intimate, we-huddled-for-warmth-together-and-oops-it-led-to-something-else sort of thing. he is the one who expresses that he's fine with it if people think he and nott are romantically together when they're talking to keg. nott is the one who pushes back on that. he calls her his life partner. unknowingly, he compares his feelings for nott to nott's feelings for yeza. his behavior only really starts to change after he finds out about veth's husband because suddenly all of that other stuff is rendered inappropriate in retrospect. but even then he compliments her to yeza over dinner in the most awkward of ways, he admits to being jealous, he calls yeza "a lucky man" to have her, he stares at veth and yeza closed bedroom door for far too long, he creates an entire arcane tower with room for her family just so she'll stay with him. in general, his behavior is not, um, totally and completely platonic about it, you know?

like, veth's feelings for caleb are canonical and therefore indisputable in their existence, but caleb in the early days was not that dissimilar to how veth was acting near the end of the campaign. it really paints a picture of "right person, wrong time" in the way things just didn't line up for them. or, as veth would say: "in another world, maybe"

[vethbrenatto]

time for me to reminisce on caleb widogast. not the man. the name.

how it was just one of a ton of aliases that bren aldric ermendrud used. it didn’t mean anything. if it was any other day he would’ve changed it the next day. but it was the day he met his best friend in a prison cell, so the name stayed.

and then it was the name he had when he met the rest of his friends that would become his family. it became his name because it was the name that the people who cared for him would use.

bren was never a deadname, becoming “caleb” was never any great show of choice. it was just a name that he happened to have on a particular day. the people that loved him made that his name.

[revanisadumbass]

Thinking about how the Shatterpoint lineage is haunted by shatterpoints.

Mace Windu will always believe in the Republic, believe that the Jedi's faith in the system is enough to overcome the dark and because of it he won't see Dooku or Anakin's falls coming.

Depa Billaba will always lose the Battle of Haruun Kal--no matter when in the war it happens, whether she clings to the light or falls to the dark, she leaves the planet comatose.

Caleb Dume will always be haunted by his master's death--he sees it happen before it happens, whether during his gathering or on the battlefield--and he will always be powerless to stop it, always propelled by her final command: run.

Ezra Bridger will always exist in the shadow of the Empire--he loses his parents, his own master, his newfound family--all the while chasing the ability (with a lightsaber that is also a blaster, with the darkness promised by Maul, with the World Between Worlds) to stop the loss it heralds from happening and always unable to act until it is too late.

[kolapon-art]

Oh, so grims are not all babies. He made Hunter a child on purpose so he can mold him into whatever he wants. Just experimenting, to see what is most easy to manipulate. And this grim? With its human ears? Was it the perfect grim Belos wanted? Was it an older experiment or one he was already growing?

Well I will say that this adult, round eared grim he was planning to bring to the human realm should Hunter have failed.