#cal admits he needs to rest!

[breakfastteatime]

For @sauntering-down - Cal's initial thoughts upon arriving in his room in the saloon.

(And yes, I have THOUGHTS about that hallikset being there. I get the feeling BD knows exactly why it's there.)

[poetryvampire]

painfully needy Rolan going into rut

Had this on the brain lately. I don't think it would take much to make Rolan an absolute mess but imagine how worse it would be when he's going into rut. Boy would snap so fast

Rolan x afab non-tiefling reader

Have some 🔥spicy🔥 musings

*this went longer than I wanted lol. But if you like it tell me if you want more 🧡

● Rolan had been doing this dance with you for months now. Both working at Sorcerous Sundries you saw each other regularly, even tried to work together as much as possible (not that he'd ever admit that). The banter, the playful mockery leading to not so subtle flirtation was easy until now.

● The conversations didn't flow like before. A joke about becoming a doe eyed scarcely dressed maiden -like the ones on the covers of those novels you so enjoy- suddenly lead his mind to wander. Any wisecrack replaced with the image of you gazing at him so lustfully. An image that stays with him for the rest of the day (and night).

● Lia and Cal are very vocal about his uptick in irritability. He tries to ignore them but they're not wrong. Ever little thing sets him off. He's frustrated at himself. For letting the feelings get so far without truely noticing. For being too proud or too embarrassed to act on them.

●He often forgets his words as his eyes lingered on your lips, your neck, your figure. More than once you caught him staring and to his surprise no offense was taken. Just a quizzical look, perhaps a soft smile that flooded his face with warmth.

●Rolan would have almost preferred you'd have met him with anger. Now the hope of you ran rampant through him. That if he was ever to give in he may be met with the embrace he so longed for. The need for you was growing by the day. He even took care to not stand to closely to you now. He coursed himself for it. How had he become so starved for affection that even the scent of you sprung his body to life.

●The wizard had spent many nights forced to take action if he was to ever find sleep. He'd be tangled in his sheets, hair wild, trusting violently into his own fist. He tries to keep his fantasies to more abstract forms of pleasure but as hard as he tries the vague shapes melt into crystal clear images of you. It would always be you around him like a vice that would push him over the edge.

● There were times he'd lose himself so throughly he'd cry out your name as he came. Embarrassed by this lack of control, Rolan told himself it was better to happen here than in front of you.

● Going into work that morning something felt off. Rolan's whole body felt extra sensitive, aching. The horrible thought finally struck him at midday. Was he going into rut? Now!? With such little warning? He calms himself. He's not certain after all.

● Until he's been paired with you to clean out and old study turned storage room. He's hyper aware of your scent. Its filling his lungs,making his knees weak. The room isn't exactly small but it's stuffed with stacks of books making moving around a problem. You're constantly having to squeeze (delightfully, terrifyingly) close to each other.

● Luckily you're busying yourself with the task at hand. Rolan prays you won't notice how red (red-er) his face is or the sizable bulge he's currently cloaking with a stack of books. The straining against his pants is almost painful. He's eyeing the door, anything to escape the heat building in his blood.

●His eyes fall back to you and all notions of making a run for it leave his mind. Along with everything else that isn't right in front of him. You looked a vision, standing on and old box body spread across the book self as you attempt to reach something on the top shelf. Not only was it a perfect view of your form, it reminded him of a pose one might see in an old painting.

●Suddenly the box wobbled threatening to send you falling backwards. Your scream was cut short as you felt Rolan catch you, arms wrap around your middle tightly pressing you to him. His face buried in your hair he couldn't help utter a deep groan. The wave of intoxicating aroma washing away his last bit of restraint.

●With ease he flips you around, pressing you into the shelf, a maon escaping your lips. Your hands came to his chest not to push him away but in a gentle caress.

●'Rolan? Please,' was hardly out on your mouth when they were swallowed by his lips. He kisses you like a drowning man breaking the water's surface. Madly, desperately as if any second you may be taken away for him. Hungrily he deepens the kiss and your lips part for him with ease, both of you relishing in the taste.

●It's only when you part for air he realizes he's been rocking his hips into you. An apology catches in his throat as you grind back against him. He's dizzy with lust, his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.

●His lips find your neck, kissing, sucking and biting. Trying his best not to break the skin. Your moans drive him on. His hands are frantic running all over you. Soon your hands lead his to the laces on your dress. He makes quick work of it.

●Rolan takes you in his arms again and lays you down on a near by table. A little too eager he tears your under things away completely. But to his awe you only laugh and spread yourself out for him to drink you in fully. You're a goddess in his eye and he intends to worship.

●Words spill senselessly from him as he lavishes you with his mouth. 'Fuck, Fuck! You're beautiful you're perfect. I need- God's, l need you I need you.' He hasn't the brain for elegance now. He's kissing you everywhere maoning words of love into your skin.

● As he makes it to your thighs he cannot help but bury is face between them. The sweet taste of your sex has him throbbing with out so much as a touch. He wants to make sure you're nice and ready for him. You're not a tiefling after all and he couldn't bare the thought of hurting you. It doesn't take long before you're dripping wet against his tongue as he slides wildly between attacking your entrance and your clit.

●You stifle a scream as an orgasm suddenly rips through you, your thighs shaking in his grasp. Youre still panting but you pull him away, drawing him closer to you. As you pull him into a soft kiss your hands unlace his pants (finally) freeing his erection. Though to hold him lightly his gasp is sharp. He's painfully hard; his head already glistening with precum.

●As he runs he length against your folds he tries to center himself. He doesn't want to be too rough or finish terribly fast. He wants to go slow but when he catches on your entrance he can't help but thrust into you, the relief of his agony so close. You tremble but encourage him on. His name quickly becoming a soft prayer on your lips.

●He's wrapped inside you now, almost all the way. The pleasure overwhelming him he opts for quicker shallow thrusts. He's taken aback by how vocal he is as more sweet lustful nothings spill from him. Rolan's control is fading fast. He's practically shaking, slamming himself into you losing whatever rhythm he had. The sight of your face contorting with pleasure is pushing him to his end. He can feel the hot pull in his gut. And suddenly something else as.

●A chill runs over him as he feels the swelling at the base of his cock. He grasps it and pulls out not wanting to subject you to something he didn't even take the time to explain. In part he's too late. He didn't fully knot but he still comes hard, spilling thick ropes all over your stomach and thighs. Fuck, you're beautiful like this.

● He blushes deeply and panics, apologizing over and over. He didn't want it to be like this. You run your fingers through his hair and kiss him gently. You don't know that much about teifling biology but Gods you wanted to learn. Rolan tries to believe you, that this wouldn't scare you off.

● He adjusted his pants, somehow still as uncomfortable as before. Perhaps it was the sight of you dressing. How you made no move to do away with his mess before you did. He could take you again easily. But not here.

● You convince him to claim illness and leave work early. To take time to rest. He agrees wanting to lock himself away from the world. And yet he also agrees to meet you that night. Then he'd have a more level head. A chance to explain himself and perhaps to hold you in his arms for longer.

Xoxo thanks for reading friends ❤️

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Epic Buddie Fic Recs | March 3rd-9th 2025

WE'RE BACK!! WE'RE SO BAAAACK!!!!!!

Complete

good dogs don't run away by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Post-S8E9: Sob Stories, Future fic, Eddie Back From Texas | 1,1K | General):

"I, um, well..." Eddie shrugs, all nervous bashfulness that makes Buck want to put him in his pocket, maybe his ribcage, just to keep him close, safe. "I'd ask you to move in, but..." "Hate to break it to you, Eddie." His lips curl around the name differently now. Or maybe they don't. Maybe he's always said Eddie's name like it was his favourite word, a plea, a prayer. "But I've got another month of rent down on this place, so if anyone was asking anyone to move in, it'd be me." (OR: they're roommates, partners, best friends, what else is there?)

Ours by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Post-S8E9: Sob Stories Coda | 1,3K | General):

“Home sweet home.” Buck mumbles, stumbling as he tries to kick his shoes off. Eddie doesn’t correct him, tell him that it’s not his yet, because that’d be a lie. This place has been Buck’s home for nearly as long as it’s been Eddie’s.

i find your name, etched behind the frame by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (Post-S8E9: Sob Stories Coda | 1,6K | General):

Buck had always felt like he belonged, in Eddie’s house. It was one of the things Eddie had noticed, right away, when they’d become friends – Buck had just felt like he belonged, right from the beginning, his spare sneakers next to Eddie’s own on the rack, Eddie’s wardrobe filled with Buck’s clothes, half the ingredients in the kitchen bought by Buck. He was such an integral part of their lives, and Eddie wouldn’t have wanted it to be any other way. He didn’t want it to end.

what do you really need, darling? by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Eddie Coming Out, Getting Together | 2,3K | Explicit):

After Eddie comes out to Buck, and Buck does not react the way Eddie would prefer, they play an expedited game of friends with benefits chicken.

🔥 Hourglass by xylodemon/ @xylodemon (Post-S8E9: Sob Stories Coda, Love Confessions | 2,3K | Not Rated):

"Don't ask me to give you the next three weeks and then let you go." "I wouldn't." "Yes, you would." Eddie huffs out a laugh. "Yeah, I would. And you wouldn't say no." "No, I wouldn't," Buck admits. "So don't ask."

you give me such a future feeling by bellabrady (Different First Meeting AU | 2,5K | Not Rated):

"Fuck you!" he yells. The spider is still again and after a few moments, Eddie's heartrate starts to slow back down. He needs somebody to get this thing out of here. If not Christopher, then someone else. The problem is, he doesn't know a lot of people in LA yet. He hasn't even gotten around to introducing himself to his neighbors! Wait. His neighbors. — Or: Eddie is terrified of spiders, so he enlists his neighbor's help in getting rid of it. You can guess the rest.

🔥 Nap Trapped by paleredheadinascifi (Future fic, Post-S8E9: Sob Stories, Eddie Back from Texas | 3K | Teen):

“Eddie Diaz,” Buck gasps. “Are you using me for my very soft cardigan?” Eddie chuckles and tells the truth. “You looked so comfy. And I missed you.” Buck sucks in a breath beneath Eddie’s ear. “I missed you, too,” he whispers. “I think I missed you too much,” Eddie admits. Or, Buck wears his pink cardigan and Eddie nap traps him about it.

a tremendous thing by simplyylupin (S8E9: Sob Stories Spec | 3K | Teen):

“What the hell is your problem, Buckley?” Eddie snaps when he’s near enough. He shoves Buck’s shoulder, eyes blazing a shade of hazel in the firelight. “Your lungs not screwed up enough for your liking?” “My lungs are just fine,” Buck replies. Eddie narrows his eyes. “You’re so full of–” “Alright, Eddie,” Bobby interrupts before he can finish, “That’s enough.” in which buck projects his feelings into befriending a dog

a craving i can't fill. by dylaesthetics (Post-S8E9: Sob Stories, Eddie Moved to Texas | 4K | Teen):

“You have to tell him. Buck,” she says insistently. “You’ve got to—” “What would be the point?” he asks, cutting her short. “He’s moved to Texas. He’s not coming back. They never do.” “Not Eddie,” says Maddie. “He’ll come back. He always does. He’ll—” “Christopher is the priority,” once again, he cuts her off, restlessly stirring on the couch. “Christopher is what matters. And Eddie will give up anything for him. As he should. I don’t blame him for it, not one bit. He’s what’s most important.” ____ OR an interstate journey, a conversation with a Texan man and a sister, and a voicemail.

Divide, Conquer, & Drink by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Secret Relationship, Eddie Back from Texas | 4K | Teen):

With alcohol as their weapon of choice, Hen and Karen decide to separate and confront Buck and Eddie into confessing their feelings for one another.

til then be good and wait for me by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S8A, Eddie Back from Texas, Getting Together | 6K | Teen):

Eddie returns from El Paso and asks Buck on a date. In the interim between the asking and the date itself, Buck acts completely normally. Definitely. Just don't ask anyone.

Anosognosia by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Nurse Buck, Getting Together | 7K | Teen):

When ER Nurse Evan Buckley meets Firefighter Paramedic Eddie Diaz, he is instantly smitten. They hit it off quickly, and begin seeing a lot of each other. It takes him a few weeks to realize they're doing more than just hanging out.

🔥 day five hundred sixty-four (and it feels like you just left my side) by BekkaChaos/ @bekkachaos (Post-S8A, Eddie Moved to Texas | 8K | Teen):

Eddie made the move to El Paso, Buck isn't coping so well so he takes to doing research and texting Eddie random facts and thoughts instead of saying all the things on his mind. Or, 5 times Buck texts Eddie with weird trivia/thoughts and 1 time he send him something genuine (by accident).

Lucky I’m in love (with my best friend) by scarmaddiewrites (Future fic, Eddie Coming Back From Texas | 8K | Teen):

Chris and Eddie are coming back from Texas and Buck and Eddie share one brain cell.

🔥 i’m gonna marry him anyway by weewooforever (Friends to Fiancés | 10K | Teen):

4 times eddie’s elderly neighbor tells him he’s so lucky to have such a wonderful husband + the 1 time she tells buck. the only problem? they’re not actually married.

🔥 Atomic Spiral by ameliahart/ @melliehart (S8, Getting Together, Jealous Eddie | 13K | Explicit):

And Eddie’s not jealous, of course not, that’s Buck’s thing. He thinks wryly of Tommy and sprained ankles, and an embarrassing fondness fills his chest. Buck’s so— Buck, wholly and completely, and Eddie misses him, is all. But that’s not why he’s doing it, honest. These people don’t appreciate Buck for who he is, not the way Eddie does. He just wants the best for Buck, okay? *** Eddie brings Christopher home from Texas to find that in his absence, Buck’s started sleeping around. Eddie is completely normal about that. (Or, Eddie starts cockblocking Buck. Things escalate from there.)

Time is Running Out (I wanna play the game, I want the friction) by bewitched__bothered__bewildered/ @bewitchedbotherednbewildered (A/B/O AU, Secret Omega Eddie | 70K | Explicit):

Crouching down, Buck lifts the polaroid from the floor, ready to place it back in the photo album without thought, when a glint of metal catches his eye. Standing in the picture, waist-up, wearing nothing but a dog tag, Eddie’s side profile is visible with his hands on his stomach. His pregnant stomach. As subtle as possible, Buck slips the picture into his pocket as Chris and Eddie keep bickering with each other. “I, uh, I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick,” and without waiting for either of them to say anything, Buck all but runs away from his best friend. His Omega best friend. Or, Alpha Buck spent the last few years at the 118 thinking Eddie was also an Alpha. Turns out, he’s not.

WIP

🔥 Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 19/? | 109K | Explicit):

In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path

🔥 Doe & a Drop of Golden Sun by ohstars/ @oh-stars (Canon Divergent, Dad Buck | 14? | 60K | Teen):

Buck doesn't mean to keep secrets from everyone, but he also can't talk about the pain he experiences on a day to day basis. With his nine-year-old living across the country and his custody limited to one monthly visit, Buck doesn't know how to share this part of himself. How does he tell his team of six years that he's had a kid this whole time? How does he tell his sister? How does he tell his Edd-- best friend? It's fine. The universe isn't going to give him a choice in the matter when the worst thing imaginable becomes his reality.

[sansaorgana]

I need to know how Benny would react to his wife going into labor?

hello, darlings! I decided to use the first request for the requested part two of the fic where Reader is pregnant and tells Benny about it 💐😌

[ PART ONE ]

I had to close my requests for now because I got so many 🙏🏻

Lots of things had changed those past few months. With his ups and downs, Benny Cross had grown into a man who was worthy of becoming a father. He had found a job as a mechanic and although he was still riding with the club, he was no longer leaving you alone for a whole night and you had bailed him out only once those past few months. With the help of Johnny and a few other guys – mostly Cal – he had even managed to prepare a nursery in your house for the baby.

You both were scared, though, and it wasn’t even about the little baby joining your family soon. Benny was scared of failing and not meeting the standards he had set up for himself. He never wanted to be like his own father and disappoint. You, on the other hand, were scared that Benny would just… Break. Pop like a balloon after all those months of trying to be the most proper version of himself. That he’d eventually crack and need to unwind. You couldn’t forget about the fact that your husband was a wild mustang and wild animals would always remain unpredictable – even domesticated ones.

Your biggest fear was that it would happen after the baby would be born and you’d be left alone with a newborn child. If Benny disappeared on you like that, you would find it very difficult to forgive him. But you were nine months pregnant now and he was still with you, trying his best every day. It was making you more and more convinced that as long as the baby was still in your womb, he was fine. But what would he actually do when there would be a tiny human screaming in that crib Benny had built not so long ago? What would he do when there would be actual diapers to change?

However, sharing those doubts with him didn’t feel right. You didn’t want to be ungrateful – after all, he was the best version of himself for you and the baby lately. He had even stopped drinking so much beer. He was taking this new responsibility more and more seriously the bigger your belly grew because it was a proof that yes, it was true – he would become a father.

On that night you were haunted by those thoughts again. In fact, they were especially coming back during those long, sleepless nights and lately every night had been sleepless. Benny was snoring lightly next to you and you were jealous how easy it was for him to drift off to the land of dreams – you knew it was caused by his exhaustion after work but, let’s be real, he had never had problems with falling asleep. His head would touch the pillow and he was a goner that very moment.

You groaned quietly to yourself and changed position for the tenth time that night when suddenly, you felt a sharp pain in your abdomen, which made you hiss. However, you ignored it because those were happening once in a while. 

The pain came back, though, the very moment the previous one subdued completely. You sat up rapidly and held your swollen belly, not wanting to alarm your husband yet but he woke up on his own. Benny moved uncomfortably and opened his eyes lazily.

“You okay, kitty?” He mumbled out.

“I-I don’t know,” you admitted, honestly. Benny furrowed his brows and moved up as well, resting on his elbows as he watched you carefully.

“What do you mean?” He asked, nervously.

“It… Ouch, it hurts,” you told him and winced out of pain.

Benny sat up now and reached his hand to the small lamp on the nightstand table. He turned it on and moved back to you. His rough hands cupped your face and you saw nothing but pure panic in his baby blue eyes. You wanted to comfort him but another sharp pain filled your abdomen as you let out a hiss and groan.

“Fuck, I think it’s time, Benny,” you told him and glanced at the clock. “Wow, the little one really does have a sense of time! It’s three in the morning, god damn it,” you tried to joke a little but Benny didn’t even smile while his face turned a few shades paler.

You moved his wrists away and sat on the edge of the bed, trying to stand up slowly but after a short while, your husband snapped back to reality. He jumped out of bed and hurried to your side.

“No, no, no, you wait here, I… I gotta call Johnny, yeah? We gotta borrow Betty’s car and… Where’s your hospital bag?” He began pacing around the room.

“Benny, calm down, please, it’s not helping me,” you sighed. “The bag’s downstairs already, by the front door.”

Benny nodded and rushed out of the bedroom after grabbing a pair of trousers out of the wardrobe to put them on in the meantime. He was on his way to the telephone because you didn’t own your own car – yet. Thankfully, Johnny and Betty had told you that you could wake them any time and they’d take you to the hospital.

While waiting for him, you were sitting on the edge of your bed and caressing your bump slowly as you tried to take deep breaths in to calm yourself down. Benny was back upstairs very quickly and put on a simple white T-shirt before he approached you with a worried expression on his face.

“Listen, baby, they’re on their way now, we should get goin’,” he crouched down in front of you and rubbed your thighs soothingly. “How you feelin’?”

“Gonna be honest with ya, not very great, been better,” you chuckled at him but he didn’t find it funny. In fact, he looked… sorry? “It’s not your fault, Benny,” you assured him. “Well, technically…”

“I’m sorry I can’t do more. That I can’t make it stop hurting,” he confessed and you were a bit taken aback by such words from Benny Cross himself.

“I wouldn’t want you to feel this pain,” you only cracked a smile at him and caressed his face. “However, I wouldn’t mind sharing some of it with you,” you winked and he stood up to help you do that as well, very gently.

Benny held you by your arms and walked you out of the room. The stairs were the biggest challenge, however, with his gentle guidance and soft encouraging words, you managed to finally walk downstairs. Benny helped you to put a coat over your nightgown and he changed your shoes before grabbing the hospital bag and taking you outside where both Johnny and Betty had been already waiting in her car. It felt very nice to have them both there – they were a real family.

“Don’t worry, baby, it’ll be fine! I’ve been there twice!” Betty looked out of the car’s window to wave at you. “Jump in,” she opened the door and Benny helped you get inside. He placed the bag next to you and sat in the backseat, too.

“Thank you, Johnny,” he murmured and Johnny only nodded before starting the engine.

“Well, you can’t take her on the bike, can you?” Betty asked and you laughed as you imagined that.

“It would surely be a story to tell,” you pointed out.

“Benny, you okay?” Betty turned around to look at your husband and you turned your head to take a look as well. He was even paler than before now and his thigh was trembling. “You’re quiet… More than usual,” she pointed out.

“I’m fine,” he shrugged his arms.

You grabbed his hand to squeeze. You wanted to offer him some comfort but you also wanted to be able to relieve the tension whenever that sharping pain was filling your abdomen.

Thankfully, the hospital was not far away from where you lived. Johnny parked the car and all of you left the car. Johnny lit a cigarette and leaned on the vehicle but Betty joined you inside and you couldn’t be more grateful because Benny was so scared that he couldn’t answer any question asked by the receptionist and then the nurse.

“Are you staying with her?” Betty asked Benny and he gulped at the question. His panicked eyes found yours when you were laying on the hospital bed already; with a nurse preparing you for labour.

“You don’t have to, baby,” you assured him.

Of course you wanted him to be with you but you didn’t want to scare him even further or for him to make a scene and faint.

“I… I’m gonna stay,” Benny nodded at you and you furrowed your brows, surprised. “I just gotta smoke first,” he told you and you nodded back at him.

You watched him walk away and Betty approached you to squeeze your hand.

“He’s not comin’ back, is he?” You asked her.

“No, I don’t think so,” she chuckled and leaned in to kiss the top of your head. “Men aren’t much of a help anyway. You can do it, Mrs. Cross,” she winked at you and walked out as well.

You took a deep breath in and grinned back at an older nurse who had given you a sympathetic smile.

“Are you married for long, Mrs. Cross?” She asked you, trying to distract you from the painful contractions.

“Two years,” you answered.

“Ah, I see,” she hummed to herself. “That woman was someone from the family?”

“No, a friend. She and her husband took me to the hospital. My Benny didn’t buy a car yet,” you explained and she suddenly stopped smiling so nicely as if it was a crime to not be very wealthy. “He has a motorbike,” you told her but it only made her face turn even colder.

“Mhm, he’s one of those,” she commented and you didn’t say anything to that.

To your surprise, the door opened again and Benny walked back inside. You had never seen him in such a worried and stressed state but he sat right next to you and took your hand in his.

“I thought you wouldn’t come back,” you told him. “That you’d just smoke a pack or two outside the hospital until they tell you it’s over,” you explained what you meant.

“Johnny talked me out of it,” Benny confessed.

Few hours later, in the morning, you were already holding your little boy in your arms. You were exhausted and sleepy but you didn’t want to stop staring at his tiny face and beautiful little features. Everything about him was beautiful and fragile – tiny eyes, tiny nose, tiny head, tiny hands with tiny fingers and tiny feet with tiny toes. You watched in awe and Benny did, too, sitting by your side with one of his arms around you.

“I’m proud of you,” he whispered and kissed your temple.

“And I’m proud of you, Benny Cross. You haven’t even fainted,” you chuckled and he rolled his eyes.

Benny reached his finger out to brush your little son’s cheek but he quickly took it away.

“What is it?” You asked him with a furrowed brow.

“I don’t wanna hurt ‘im. My fingers are rough and all that,” he explained.

“Don’t be silly, Benny, you won’t hurt him by touching him gently,” you encouraged him to touch his son again and so he did, very carefully. “You see?”

Benny didn’t answer, focusing on his baby. The soft and loving look on his face suddenly made all your fears wash away. You no longer feared he would leave or run away from this responsibility. Of course, you weren’t delusional enough to think it would be easy. But something about him at this moment made you sure that choosing him as a father of your child was no mistake after all.

“How do you want to name him?” You asked. “After your father perhaps?”

“No,” Benny answered very quickly and cleared his throat before looking at your confused face. “My ol’ man was a piece of shit. My ma told me once that when I was born he was pissed drunk at the bar.”

You nodded your head and you suddenly understood. You understood why Benny had been so nervous and why he had come back to be with you during the labour after all.

“Don’t wanna be like him,” he confessed suddenly and looked down.

“You won’t be,” you assured your husband and kissed his cheek. “You won’t be, baby. You already aren’t,” you pointed out. “Do you wanna name him John?” You changed the subject.

Benny looked at you with a soft smile before placing a kiss on your forehead. Then, he looked down at the little baby in your arms and he bopped his son on the nose.

“Little Johnny Cross. Sounds good to me.”

MASTERLIST || BENNY MASTERLIST

[theotherbuckley]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday 😘

Here's some more of my bucktommy 10 + 1 pet names fic. It's currently exam season so I haven't had much time to write (also if you sent in ask prompts for writing and drawing for my 1K celebration I swear I'm getting to it, just after exams probably). Anyway here's a snippet of the boys attempting Muay Thai and getting a lil side tracked.

Tagged by @perfectlysunny02 <3 (also thanks for everyones tags through out the week)

They start out with light hits, mostly just teasing each other, barely putting any force into it. It’s back and forth for a bit, hit retreat, hit retreat, neither doing any damage. Tommy goes in for a harder knock, bringing his arm to Buck’s face, but he’s quick to dodge. “That all you got, cupcake?” Buck smirks, cocky. Tommy tilts his head at him, a dark glint forming in his eye. He smiles. That's all the warning Buck gets. Tommy raises his leg to Buck’s waist as he moves forward. The kick causes Buck to stumble, but he recovers, returning with a kick of his own to Tommy’s thigh, grateful for his long legs. Tommy doesn’t seem fazed, barely moving an inch from where he stands. Fucking tank. Buck pouts, his boyfriend is too big for his own good. In any other scenario, it is the best thing ever, but here, Buck can’t get over how built he is — it’s not fair.  “Come on, sweetheart. I taught you better than this,” Tommy says, trying to evoke a reaction. It works. Buck rushes forward, raising his hand to Tommy’s face, but Tommy’s faster, blocking the action and hitting right back. Buck doesn’t give up, he keeps moving into Tommy, hitting him, his elbow catching on Tommy’s shoulder hard enough to make him falter. Tommy just smiles at him, grinning wide. “That was good,” he admits, nodding in approval. Buck wipes the sweat from his forehead, moving back into position, jumping on his feet. “Come on, give it to me, hot stuff.” “That name’s not actually bad,” Tommy says. “Yeah?” Buck asks, guard dropping momentarily. It’s all Tommy needs. He seizes the moment raising his arm and pushing at Buck’s shoulder, causing him to stumble. Buck doesn’t have a chance to right himself before Tommy’s lifting his leg, hooking it under Buck’s. Buck lets out a little “oomf” as his back hits the ground, wind momentarily knocked out of him.  Tommy just smirks from him above, leaning over so that his hand rests next to Buck’s face. “Ready to tap out?” Tommy says, eyes flicking to Buck’s lips and back to his eyes. Buck blushes at their closeness, but ever stubborn he doesn’t give in. “Never,” he whispers, wrapping his leg around Tommy’s torso and flipping them so that Tommy’s now on his back. Tommy’s pupils widen, and he lets out a breathless “Fuck.”

Tags:

@bidisasterevankinard @fortheloveofbuddie @jeeyuns @honestlydarkprincess @eddiebabygirldiaz @jesuisici33 @your-catfish-friend @ladydorian05 @giddyupbuck @eowon @watchyourbuck @steadfastsaturnsrings @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @rainbow-nerdss @cal-daisies-and-briars @evanbegins @diazsdimples @wikiangela @bucksbirthmark  @underwaterninja13 @daffi-990 @aspecbuddie @bucks-daddy-issues @tizniz @monsterrae1 @loveyouanyway @hippolotamus @incorrect9-1-1 @buckdefencesquad @actualalligator @actuallyitsellie @dangerpronebuddie @babybibuck @exhuastedpigeon @perfectlysunny02 @buddieswhvre @loserdiaz @rogerzsteven @bucksbignaturals @smallandalmosthonest @spotsandsocks @evanbi-ckley @inell (please let me know if you want to be added or removed from this tag list I know bucktommy isn’t everyone’s thing)

[storiesfromafan]

When He's Gone

A/N: first night of house sitting and doggo watching, which means I could finish part two to this. But I am going to make this a 3 parter, as it just felt right to end it where i did 😅

I will also have a poll at the end of this part, feel free to vote.

Warning/s: angst, sadness, maybe you'll cry, possible spelling/grammer mistakes, briefly revised

Tag list: @charmingballoon @strayrockette

Word got back to you, a few days after that night, that Benny had taken off that night. Betty had told you over coffee how Benny had stormed back into the bar, dark mood hanging over him. She said how Johnny had been the one to approach him at the bar – chugging down a beer as Johnny reached his side.

“Ya alright kid?” Johnny asked, concern written on his face.

Finally removing the bottle from his lips, and practically slamming it on the bar, Benny looked at the wall across from him. His face set in a hard scowl. “She ended it...and I gave it to her".

Johnny – looking to Cal, who’d stepped up to Benny's other side – had a confused yet worried look upon his face. Not sure what Benny meant. “Ah, ya gave it to her?” He questioned wanting clarification.

The man at focus nodded his head. “Yeah. She wanted it to be over, so I gave it to her...told her we were over then...”

Both Johnny and Cal sighed, though they knew Benny would never lay a hand on a woman. But his current mood, and words, gave a different opinion. Placing his hand on his shoulder, Johnny stared at Benny's face. Waiting for the man to look to him. And after downing the last of his beer he finally looked to the older Vandal.

“What happened?” Johnny asked calmly, needing the whole story.

So Benny told him what happened. How you took off out of the bar, how he followed you and called out what was wrong. You declaring you were done. Standing in the middle of the road airing out your issues at the hand of the women hanging around the bar, and him. He told you everything you’d said or done wrong, yet never mentioned or admitted to his involvement. How he shut down or let that voice in his head win. Benny would never voice how he was half to blame, never taking ownership of his part that played in your breakup.

“Sounds like she had a good reason to be mad" stated Johnny, gaze hard and righteous.

Benny turned to look at the empty beer bottle, knowing the man was right, that you were right. Yet Benny couldn’t admit it. If he did, he would have to agree with a lot you said. Such as how he put the club and his bike over you. Even though he tried to keep it all balanced.

“What do you love more; her or ya bike?” The older Vandal asked.

Benny kept his gaze on the bottle, mind thinking over the question. And yet he couldn’t answer it. How could he pick which one he loved more? Both were different in their own way, but both brought him such joy and happiness. Sure, his bike couldn’t mouth off to him but would play up. While you, you were full of opinions and ideas, but also cared for him like no one else ever had.

When Cal spoke up, along with a few others, saying how stupid it was to flip out and breakup because you’d said it. How walking away from that fine ass – which was meant to be a light hearted jest – was the biggest mistake. Or how you’d find another man quick smart. It all triggered something in Benny, anger and hurt.

Without a word, he shrugged off Johnny's hand before heading for the front door. He could hear Johnny going off at the men that spoke. But Benny didn’t care. He’d gotten some harsh criticism and truths. He was done. He needed to get away, clear his head and hopefully his heart. Which was aching. Getting on his bike, Benny didn’t waste time starting up the engine and  pulling away from the curb, riding through town and off into the night, and wherever the road would take him.

You sat back in your seat at the small kitchen table, lit cigarette in hand which was resting on the table top. Betty sat across from you, watching you closely to gauge your reaction to the story she just told you. Lifting your hand you took the last drag of the cigarette, holding it for as long as you could before releasing the smoke. You then stubbed it out in the ashtray.

“I see...” was all you could say.

You weren’t surprised he’d taken off. It’s what he did best. Running from his problems rather than working through them. It’s like putting a band aid on a broken arm. Him running away just showed how immature, or scared, Benny was. Eventually he’ll blow back into town and act like nothing happened. And that’s fine. He could do that. You don’t care, you won’t be sitting around waiting for him. If he will even come crawling back to you.

“Well it’s going to be quiet around Grand and Division for a while then" you stated, like it was fact.

Betty looked concerned, “you ain’t worried about him?”

You sighed. “Sure, I’ll always worry about him...but he made his choice. He gave up. And sure, I instigated the breakup...but he put the final nail in the coffin, so to say".

She nodded, moving to take another sip of her coffee.

“Once he’s mind is made up, that’s it...” you muttered. “So I won’t mope around. It’s not worth it...”

You left it at that. No more to say on the matter that is Benny Cross. That chapter of your life had come to an end. The next, new chapter was all about you and whatever you do with yourself. Time to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. But there were times you would find yourself crying, mainly at night, over him. Even though you didn’t want to, nor did he deserve your tears. During the day and around people, you put on a strong front, that you almost believed.

The first month of Benny’s absence was hard. You noted it as the withdrawal stage. Missing and wanting him because he wasn’t there. Various Vandal's came to check in on you, though you felt more like they were sniffing around. Trying to find out if Benny had reached out to you, but mainly testing the waters for themselves. See if you were desperate that you’d give them the time of day. And they were mistaken, you’d never go for another Vandal.

At the end of the first month Johnny paid you a visit. He was checking in on you, making sure you were doing alright and if you needed anything. You were nice – even if you shouldn’t be – Johnny wasn’t the one to do all this, it was Benny. You got him a beer, while you had tea, and sat at your kitchen table, which reminded you of when Betty had been there. Both of them were a like, and it warmed your broken heart.

Eventually he dropped the bomb he’d had word on Benny, he was fine and just moving around. It was a relief for you, hearing your ex was alive. The older man told you Benny would be back in time, and it would all work out. But would it? Did you want that?

“I don’t think I want it to work out...I can’t keep doing this, Johnny" you admitted looking him in the eyes. “I can’t be the back-up...”

Johnny tried to reason with you, but you’d made your mind up. Once he had finished his beer, and this conversation wasn’t going his way, he said he had to get going. Politely you walked him to the front door, even watching and waving as he rode off on his bike. That was that. You’d finally put your foot down. And Johnny knew that.

The second month since Benny left, you finally felt more yourself, freer even. You had been focusing on work at the diner. Still getting those passing through town that would flirt with you, and you’d continue to turn them down. Only this time not adding you had a boyfriend. One particular truck driver – a man a few years older than you and easy on the eyes – tried his luck, and when you just said thank you, but not interested, he noted your lack of words.

“No sorry, I got a boyfriend?” He asked, rather surprised.

You flinched, which didn’t go unnoticed. “Nope, no boyfriend...” you muttered moving around the counter.

“Huh. That’s surprisin” he stated playing with his coffee cup. “What happened? If ya don’t mind me askin'?”

Without going into detail, you gave him the summed-up version. Giving the short version hurt less, as it didn’t bring up every issue you and Benny had. And the man was nice, understanding and ended it by saying Benny hadn’t deserved you. That you would find someone to love you completely. Against your better judgement, you believed his words. Even if part of you didn’t want someone else to love you, or for yourself to love another.

Your love with Benny was one of a kind. It was good, yet bad and messy. With its ups and downs. It was wild. It was passion. It was unlike anything you’d experienced. As was Benny. You had admired him from a far, not wanting to get close or involved with him. But that man wouldn’t have that, chasing you until you gave in. And you had been so happy to. Let go and go with the flow.

Yet, it was that love that hurt when you both would fight. Or when he’d take off for weeks. Left to cry and hurt, heart aching because of how you loved that man. But was it like that for him? Hurting from how you’d both fired up and left it? Did he over think it all, and try to pinpoint where it went wrong? Probably not, that wasn’t Benny's style.

A few weeks into month three of no Benny, a few friends of yours – ones that don’t run in the Vandal circle – finally talked you into going with them to the movies. You weren’t in the mood for their girl time, as it was more superficial and of no substance, or really going out. But somehow, they talked you into it.

So Friday night, after your shift, you got home and had a shower. From there you did your hair and light make up, you had to put some effort into your appearance with these women. They were all about looks. You went with a simple (colour) swing dress, that had a rounded collar, sleeveless and a matching belt to accentuate the waist.

Sitting at your vanity you put in some earrings and then your necklace. Which you only noticed, as it lay against the fabric of your dress, was the locket that Benny had gotten you. Staring at the locket, you allowed your finger tips to graze the metal. Part of you told you to take it off, put it away and leave it in the past. Yet, you couldn’t. The locket was something special, something Benny had given you on your birthday, after you had seen it when window shopping one time. That man might have only glanced it, but remembered it completely. And you told yourself, you felt better having a part of him with you.

Not thinking about it again, you got up, put on some shoes and grabbed your bag. Once outside the door, you drove to the movie theatre. Only then were you privy to the fact this three girls movie night was actually a triple date, a blind one for you. Being left out of the loop ticked you off, and eventually you voiced that before going into the movie, when the men went to get drinks and snacks.

“Calm down (Y/N), will you!” Fussed Sally.

You huffed. “All I’m saying is that I would have liked to have known this was a triple date!”

“Honestly, if she had told you the truth, would you have came?” Questioned Ann.

You stood there for a moment silent, knowing you wouldn’t have agreed to it. “No...”

Both women shared a look. “Exactly. That’s why I didn’t tell you" Sally stated softly. “You need to go out, date even. It’s over with him, he’s gone".

You detested how they didn’t say Benny's name, never had as they didn’t like him or think him good enough for you. But also, you were glad they didn’t say it now, or else you might have gotten upset. You knew they had a point. You had to go out and live your life. You had just wanted to do it with the Vandal by your side.

The conversation died then as the men returned. Both your friends linked arms with their dates, while you chose to walk awkwardly beside the guy you were paired with. He was nice, not pushy or a jerk. He was quiet sweet. Making small talk and just being friendly in a genuine way. The movie was alright, but not something you would have seen if it wasn’t for Sally and Ann. After the movie both women and their dates left, leaving you with Andrew. He was kind enough to walk you to your car.

“I hope your night wasn’t a waste" he started, “I mean – you had a good time, even if it’s not what you expected!” He sighed flustered. “I-it’s just, I know you didn’t know about me...when I thought you did. I’m sorry you got roped into this date. But I hope it wasn’t too bad...”

For the first time in months you softly smiled, a small chuckle coming from your chest. Sure, he tripped over his words but he was sincere. Andrew was a nice, good guy. Sweet to being chatty, like friends hanging out, while your friends and their dates got cosy and kissed. He respected you, were another men wouldn’t have been.

“Thank you” you thanked softly. “Though I was blind sided, I had a good time" – Andrew visually relaxed and beamed a relieved smile – “you are a sweet man. I’m just not ready to date...I hope you understand".

He nodded slowly, a sad look shining in his eyes. “It’s alright. I do understand, though am a little sad. But I can take away that you had a good evening, at least".

You reach over and held his hand. “I did, you are a wonderful man".

Fate is a cruel mistress, always ruining your life at the worst time. And this was another one. That was the moment a roar of an approaching engine bounced along the street. And with its ever increasing volume, the familiar bike and rider came into view. Benny rode by, not seeming to notice your car or you at first. But those stormy blues finally zeroed in on you both. You could imagine what would be going through that pretty head of his. Not to mention the possible anger.

You’re not his girl anymore... came that little voice in the back of your head, you broke up...

Once Benny rode on, not even looking back or turning around, that told you everything. He was done, actually done. It was all over between you both, possibly never to get back together. That ache in your chest returned, and with it the want to cry. Quickly you said your goodbyes before getting into your car, and heading home. Not giving Andrew much room to speak before you were gone.

You felt the familiar warmth and sting to your eyes, but held them back for now. Driving towards your house you had hoped to see Benny and his bike out the front of your house, or in your drive way. But turning into the drive way there was nothing. Parking the car and turning it off, the first couple of tears escaped. Sitting in the driver seat you were frozen, sad to not see him here.

After a few minutes you managed to get out of the car, not very gracefully, and headed towards your front door. With every step a tear fell from your eyes, rolling down your cheeks. When you were finally inside, door closed and locked, you slide to a sitting position, back against the door as you freely cried. Ugly crying and barely able to breath properly. Even with the anger and the fight being justified, but you loved and missed Benny. And the hole in your chest confirmed that.

A/N: thought I'd give you all a say in how part three goes 😊

[underdark-dreams]

ok, I'm too cowardly to actually reply to your post about Rolan/ Dammon headcannons/ prompts but here are a few:

Rolan:

-He finally gets to be hero, he saves Tav from some scenario and when Tav is thanking him he has no idea what to do with himself.

-Cal and Lia being siblings and absolutely embarrassing him anytime Tav is around. (Sharing embarrassing but endearing stories from when they were younger, hinting at his feelings for Tav, making kissy faces from behind Tav when he's trying to have a conversation.)

-Also, I just have a feeling that he's a jealous green monster whenever someone who isn't any one the companions try and talk to Tav.. especially if its another wizard.

Dammon:

-Him trying to muster up the courage to ask Tav out when he has his shop in Baulders Gate.

-Dammon would 100% be the type who wants to court someone the 'proper' way, but could be convinced otherwise.

-He seems like he would act like a love sick puppy when he's in love.

Thank you for this delicious bouquet of ideas!! 🖤 Twirling my hair over these!! I do want to save a few for fics, but I couldn’t look at this in my inbox any longer without writing out some headcanons:

Rolan 

[Cal & Lia embarrassing him around Tav]

The three of them have a super close bond underneath all the bickering. So the absolute second Rolan catches feelings, Cal & Lia smell blood in the water

Honestly they probably catch it before Rolan admits him to himself

When Lia starts to drop hints or Cal asks if he’s gotten up the nerve to kiss them yet, Rolan is like "what? stop being stupid"

But then he turns away & checks in with himself for a second & he's like "oh fuck"

Rolan makes an effort to only interact with Tav far away from his home, his workplace, the general vicinity of his neighborhood in Baldur’s Gate—basically avoiding anywhere they might run into his sister or brother. They already make him nervous enough

But once they start getting closer he also really wants to bring them home, so at some point, he’ll suck it up and face this potential trainwreck head-on

His siblings make light conversation over dinner about what Tav’s been doing or working on lately. Lia’s like “oh yeah Rolan mentioned that, you know he talks about you a lot, like all the time”

Tav’s hand silently taking his under the table is the only thing that could distract Rolan from snapping back

Somehow, Rolan is even more embarrassed when his siblings start genuinely reminiscing and telling Tav stories about the three of them growing up in Elturel

He’ll chime in if Tav asks him a question, but otherwise he’s pretty quiet. Rolan doesn’t want them to think about him as a refugee or an orphan

In his mind, he still thinks he needs to be powerful and significant in order to truly deserve Tav’s affection

If Rolan paid any attention, he’d realize that Cal and Lia talking up what a stubborn, protective big brother he’s always been is putting stars in Tav’s eyes

[Jealousy]

He’s so fucking jealous and it drives him crazy

Rolan likes controlling the narrative, keeping any vulnerability under control & well hidden from others, etc.

Falling in love with Tav creates a big complication in the way he usually operates

Once he’s master of Ramazith’s Tower, he has a certain amount of social obligations—hosting members of the wizarding community, professional gatherings, etc

And Tav is an integral part of his life now, so they'll always be involved to some extent

Midway through the evening, Rolan glances across the room and sees one of his colleagues talking much closer than he'd like to his beloved. As he watches, their hand actually reaches out to touch Tav’s elbow

Whatever he's doing or whoever he's conversing with is abandoned without ceremony

Rolan does that thing where he casually walks up to join the conversation and places a hand on the small of Tav's back, just resting there with a slight smile as he pretends to listen. But he’s staking his claim

In his head the gesture means step the fuck back, this person is with me. It’s honestly about as subtle as a sledgehammer

After they're finally alone again he'll probably want to fuck Tav on his desk or against one of the bookstacks in the Tower

Capturing them for himself and hearing them moan his name and making sure they know they’re his

Dammon

[Working up the courage to ask Tav out]

He’s been really glad their paths have converged here and there along the way, but nothing could make him prouder than when Tav comes to visit the Forge of Nine Hells in the city

Dammon is completely in his element in Baldur’s Gate

He’s pretty modest and down-to-earth, but he feels a swell of pride when Tav finally sees him running a proper forge. It’s how he always hoped they’d see him

And is it just his imagination, or does he see them…often? Almost every day they’re dropping by for one reason or the other, and they seem to linger to chat and watch him work

The hints that they’re interested are all Dammon needs to start working up his courage to make a move

He's alone and tied to his work most of the day, which gives his mind ample time to run through different options

Getting the timing right drives him a little crazy. So often Tav is in a hurry, or with their companions, or he's got a rush commission that he has to get finished

When he finally finds the moment, he’ll probably come right out with it & ask them out for a drink. He wants something simple where they can talk, plus smithing is thirsty work

When Tav agrees with a smile, Dammon drops everything, his leather apron snagging as he pulls it over his horns in his haste to get going

Gathers his courage and puts an arm around their shoulders as they walk

With anyone else Dammon would be self-conscious about how he smells like iron and smoke and sweat all the time. But if anyone can look past it it’s Tav, with everything they’ve been through

A feeling that's confirmed when they lean further into him with a laugh

[Being totally lovesick over Tav]

The definition of devoted

He would 100% be that type of boyfriend who likes to be always touching Tav when they’re close

Prefers to rest his hand on their hip while they’re side by side, maybe on the curve of their ass if he can get away with it. The contrast against the doting look in his eye is classic Dammon—sweet and hot 

It's not a possessiveness thing, and he'd tone it down if Tav asked, he's just super into them & touching them feels natural

Just in general, he loves telling Tav yes and has a very hard time telling them no

At the end of the day, Dammon likes to pull Tav down to sit on his lap and talk about their days. He might stroke their hair or rub their back while he listens, just helping his love relax at the end of a long day

Dammon’s used to being a single bachelor and taking care of himself, but he discovers that he adores when Tav does little things to dote on him or pamper him

One night he comes home with the usual soot stains on his skin and ache in his shoulders to find that Tav has drawn him a warm, pleasant-smelling bath. Ignoring any mild protests, Tav insists on helping him peel off his sweaty layers and sink in, then loosens his knot of hair to gently lather and wash his locks. The feel of Tav’s fingers and nails massaging his scalp is the most loving, tender thing. Dammon feels like he could fall asleep right right there in the water under their hands

He calls Tav all kinds of pet names: darling, love, dearest, gorgeous, sometimes angel if he's feeling especially whipped

Dammon is one to say "I love you' freely and often, but hearing Tav say it back never fails to make him sigh with happiness

[moonselune]

sorry to bother but can i get a rolan depression comfort please please? with tav that struggles with really bad depression. thank you, i love the way you write everyone so much. your work and his story in act 3 has kind of made him a big comfort character for me lol

as someone who does struggle with depression there is absolutely no projecting in this whatsoever, definitely none, hope ur okay nonnie!

cw: angst, depression

Rolan x reader | Darkest Times

The room was quiet, save for the faint crackle of a struggling fire in the hearth. You sat slumped on the edge of the bed, knees pulled to your chest, as if folding in on yourself could somehow make the suffocating weight on your shoulders easier to bear. The world outside might as well not exist—its colors muted, its sounds distant and meaningless. You hadn’t spoken in hours. Eating seemed like an insurmountable task, and even breathing felt like too much.

Rolan entered cautiously, his boots barely making a sound against the worn floorboards. The ever-present pride and sharp wit that usually defined him were muted tonight. He’d seen the signs before, in others, but watching you unravel felt different. It was intimate, raw, and utterly heartbreaking.

He set down the tray he carried—a mug of tea, a slice of bread, and a book he'd charmed to glow faintly at the edges, just in case the light might soothe you. When you didn’t even glance up, his chest tightened.

“Still quiet, I see,” he said softly, attempting a small smile. It faltered when you didn’t respond. “Well, I suppose you’re saving your biting commentary for later.”

Your lips barely twitched, and Rolan sighed, stepping closer. He crouched in front of you, his eyes searching your face. The usual spark in your gaze was absent, replaced by a dull emptiness that twisted something deep inside him.

“Do you know,” he started, his tone quiet but not pitying, “I used to think I had to hold everything together on my own. Lia and Cal—they needed me. They still do. But I’ve had nights like this, where even the idea of standing felt impossible. And I never let anyone see it. I thought it made me weak.”

He reached out tentatively, resting a warm hand over yours, which were clenched tightly in your lap. You didn’t pull away, but your shoulders tensed beneath his touch.

“I was wrong,” he continued, his voice a low murmur. “It’s not weak to feel like this. It’s not weak to let someone care.”

You sniffled, the smallest crack in the wall you’d built around yourself.

“It’s too much,” you whispered, your voice raw. “I can’t—I don’t know how to get out of this.”

Rolan’s hand tightened around yours, his jaw clenching as if he could will his strength into you. “Then let me help. You’ve done so much for me—more than I deserve, really. Let me be here for you now.”

Tears began to blur your vision, and for the first time in what felt like hours, you tilted your head to look at him. There was no judgment in his sharp green eyes, only concern and something deeper—an unspoken determination to shoulder whatever you couldn’t carry.

“I feel so...broken,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “What if I never feel whole again?”

Rolan knelt beside you fully now, taking both of your hands in his.

“Listen to me,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “I’ve seen your strength, your kindness—even when you thought no one noticed. You are not broken. You are a masterpiece still in progress. And progress isn’t always a straight line.”

You let out a choked laugh, a sound caught between despair and a flicker of hope. “You sound like a self-help book.”

He smirked, the smallest flicker of his usual snark peeking through. “I’m a wizard. I know how to spin a spellbinding tale.”

You laughed again, this time with a bit more warmth. And for a moment, the heaviness eased. It wasn’t gone—it likely wouldn’t vanish overnight—but the way Rolan stayed by your side, unwavering, made it feel a little more manageable.

“I’ll stay as long as you need,” he promised, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “We can sit here in silence, talk about nothing, or I can conjure some ridiculous illusion to distract you. Whatever it takes.”

You nodded, leaning forward until your forehead rested against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close like he was anchoring you to the world.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Rolan whispered into your hair. “No matter how long it takes.”

And in that quiet moment, with his arms around you and the fire casting soft shadows on the walls, you began to believe him.

this is a bit short as it was quite intense to write it but I hope you guys enjoyed it! - Seluney xox

If you want to support me in other ways | Help keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x

[antheyaaa]

HAIII!! i absolutely AODRED that cal FIC from zero day and I was wondering if I could perhaps get another one where him and reader are hanging out and listening to music and then they have their first kiss at a park and everything

"Under the Streetlights"

Calvin Gabriel x reader

The night air was crisp but not cold, the kind of perfect in-between where you could wear a hoodie and still feel comfortable. The park was nearly empty, just the two of you sitting on the swings, the distant hum of the city fading into the background. The streetlights cast long shadows across the pavement, and the sky stretched above you, dark and endless.

Calvin sat next to you, one foot planted on the ground, lazily rocking back and forth. He had his headphones draped around his neck, the faint sound of music escaping from them. You could barely make out the melody, but you didn’t need to. Just being here, next to him, felt enough.

“You always listen to music this loud?” you teased, nudging his foot with yours.

Calvin smirked but didn’t look at you. “Gotta drown out the noise somehow.”

You tilted your head, watching him carefully. Even in the dim glow of the streetlights, you could see the way his jaw tensed, how his fingers toyed absentmindedly with the cord of his headphones. Calvin wasn’t the type to say things outright, but you were starting to understand the way he spoke without words.

“Can I hear?” you asked softly, pointing at his headphones.

He hesitated for a second, then shrugged, pulling them off and handing them to you. You slipped them over your ears, and the song filled your senses—slow, melancholic, yet somehow soothing. You hadn’t expected him to listen to something like this.

“This is… nice,” you murmured, glancing at him.

Calvin huffed a small laugh. “Yeah? Thought you’d say it was depressing.”

You shook your head. “No. It sounds like something you’d listen to when you’re thinking too much.”

His eyes flickered to you then, sharp and unreadable. “You always do that?”

“Do what?”

“See through people,” he muttered, looking away.

You didn’t answer, just watched as he kicked at the gravel beneath the swing. The music played on, and for a moment, neither of you spoke.

Then, he shifted slightly. “Here,” he said, pulling his phone from his pocket. “Pick a song.”

You took it hesitantly, scrolling through his playlist. It was a mix of everything—gritty alternative rock, old-school hip-hop, and softer, sadder songs that made your chest ache a little. You picked one that seemed to match the mood, then handed the phone back.

The first few notes played, and Calvin glanced at you, like he was trying to figure out why you chose it. But he didn’t say anything. Instead, he let out a quiet breath and leaned back against the swing’s chains, his head tilted up toward the sky.

“Not bad,” he admitted after a moment.

You smiled. “Told you I have good taste.”

He smirked but didn’t argue.

The song played on, the sound of it filling the space between you. The streetlights above buzzed faintly, casting a soft, golden glow over everything. The world felt still, like you were the only two people left in it.

Then, after what felt like forever, Calvin turned to you.

There was something different in his gaze now—something softer, more open than you’d ever seen before. It made your breath catch, made the rest of the world blur at the edges.

He didn’t say anything. He just leaned in, slow and hesitant, like he was giving you a chance to stop him.

You didn’t.

His lips brushed against yours, feather-light at first, just a whisper of contact. But then he pressed in a little more, and suddenly the world felt too small, like everything had narrowed down to just this moment, just him.

His hand found yours, fingers threading together as he pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours.

“Was that okay?” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper.

You exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. “Yeah. More than okay.”

Calvin let out a quiet laugh, almost like he couldn’t believe it. “Good.”

The music still played softly between you, but at that moment, it didn’t matter. The only thing you could hear was the sound of your heartbeat, the way it matched his.

Hey, I haven't been here for a long time but I had a lot of studying and tests at school and I hope you'll forgive me 😓🙏. @joc3lynx I hope you like it as much as the previous one 🫶

With love-Antheya

[multi-fandoms-posts]

Caught in Longing

X Men Masterlist

X Men Masterlist 2

Y/N lies on the large bed, snuggled up in soft blankets. Something is missing. Her fingers nervously trace the fabric, and a quiet sigh escapes her lips. She pulls the blanket closer, but it doesn’t help. Her thoughts are consumed by Paddy and Cal. The thought of their closeness, of their touches, makes her restless.

“Paddy? Cal?” she calls softly, her voice slightly trembling. She can’t hide her longing.

A few seconds later, the door opens. Paddy enters first. His dark eyes immediately rest on Y/N. He always remains calm and in control in their relationship. He instantly understands what she wants. Cal follows him, moving silently, but his presence is strong. His eyes briefly scan Y/N and then move to Paddy, as if waiting for a signal.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Paddy asks with his deep voice as he approaches the bed. “You sound restless.”

Y/N sits up and looks at him with wide eyes. “I... I need you both,” she says softly, almost whispering, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

Cal smirks as he leans against the doorframe. “Needy today, huh?” His voice is playful, but his gaze reveals that he wants her too.

Paddy sits on the edge of the bed and gently strokes Y/N’s cheek. “You need us? Or do you need us to tell you what you need?” His voice remains calm and firm, yet it gives Y/N a sense of security.

“Both,” she admits, her voice trembling slightly.

Paddy smiles and pulls Y/N closer to him while looking at Cal. “Cal, I think she wants more than just a little attention today.”

Cal pushes himself off the doorframe and grins. “Oh, I see that too.” He walks slowly toward them, never taking his eyes off Y/N. “How much more, Y/N?”

Y/N opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, Paddy leans down and kisses her roughly, almost demandingly. His lips are firm, and Y/N instantly molds herself against him. Her hands glide over his chest, and she sighs into the kiss. When Paddy pulls back, Y/N is breathless, her gaze hazy with desire.

Cal watches them both with a hungry look. Before Y/N can collect herself, he grabs her hand and pulls her toward him. He kisses her with the same intensity as Paddy, firm and demanding. Y/N softly moans into his mouth as she tries to get closer to him. But Cal, too, pulls away after a while, his eyes burning with desire.

“She’s so hungry for us,” Cal whispers before looking at Paddy. “What do you think, Paddy? Maybe we share a little more today?”

Paddy says nothing, but his eyes sparkle. Then he pulls Cal to him and kisses him hard. Their lips collide, the kiss rough and full of energy. Y/N’s heart races as she watches her two men. They fight for control, yet they are equal. Both are strong, both lead, but both also belong to each other and to Y/N.

As Paddy and Cal pull away from each other, Y/N trembles with desire. She needs them both, now. “Please...” she whispers, her voice barely audible.

Paddy and Cal exchange a brief glance, and then Paddy smiles. “Today, you’ll get exactly what you want.”

[forgeofthenine]

Ohh, how about the Tieflings experiencing snow? And how do they make sure not to freeze off the tips of their ears and their tails? Also with how they are more fine with heat, I feel like Rolan is the type of bitch (affectionate) to already complain about it being freezing at 15°F

I have to admit Anon, I'm also the type of bitch that thinks 15°F is freezing. I'm used to a nice temperate climate (with awful weather) and the idea of being outside in almost -10°c horrifies me, I do hope you like the headcanons though :)

The bachelors experiencing the snow

Dammon

I feel like Dammon runs hotter than most tieflings, they all already run hot but Dammon even more so

It honestly probably helps in the forge

It also means that when he steps foot into the snow it tends to slowly melt under the thin soles of his boots

Dammon loves the snow and thinks it's beautiful, but it tends to leave him with wet socks if he doesn't wear the right footwear

You'll find it's still very easy to drag your lover out into the snow with you though for a bit of a winter romp

Just don't be surprised when this cheeky tiefling decides to try and ball up some snow as soon as your back is turned

As soon as the powdery snow breaks against your back you know all vets are off, the two of you desperately trying to one up the other

You'll need to find a space were you won't bother anyone because Dammon gets very into his snowball fights

He's a fierce opponent but eventually, when you're both feeling the chill, there will be a truce

Dammons also the type to always wear his scarf when it snows outside, but only so he can wrap it around you if yours is forgotten at home

Zevlor

This paladin loves the snow

He doesn't run particularly hot or cold so he's able to spend a fair amount of time out in the chill

He loves to bundle you both up in cold weather clothes and go for a stroll

Walking along the water, hand in hand, he likes to admire the way your breath freezes in the air as you speak to him

It's all very relaxed and domestic, perfect for a retired hellrider like Zevlor

When the two of you make it back inside he's quick to warm you both back up, wrapping you in a blanket and making hot chocolate on the stove

You spend the rest of the even cuddled up to his side on the couch, watching the snow fall as you drink steaming mugs of cocoa

Zevlor also strikes me as the type of guy to know about the pouring maple syrup into snow to make a maple lolliepop thing

He'd definitely do it to surprise you with a homemade sweet treat

Please give Zevlor a kiss, he spoils you so much

Rolan

Rolan hates the snow

He runs cold as far as tieflings are concerned and he strikes me as the type to have poor circulation that just mildly annoys him

If you want to get him out in the snow you'll have to recruit his siblings to come help

Don't worry though, Cal and Lia love to drag him out into the winter wonderland despite how much he tells them it's 'freezing'

Rolan is also very glad his ears are covered by his hair, or they might just get cold enough to fall off

It's not uncommon for you to be issued with a challenge to see who can make a better snowman, you and Rolan or Cal and Lia

And so the wizard reluctantly spends his afternoon playing in the snow with you and his siblings

As much as he loves his siblings, Rolan also wants to get his own back at them, so he uses his magic to beat them every single time

Just be glad they only dared to challenge him to a snowball fight once

[reverieblondie]

Cal x Lae'zel

Reuniting at Last Light.

Part 1 Part 2

A/N: I'm back on my self indulgence and geeking about my favorite crack ship again. I will never stop putting these two together. Thank you to @drizztdohurtin for letting me ramble about them in your ask box (that seems like forever ago now) And thank you @dark-and-kawaii for the pictures she took for me of them together, they are all so perfect! Please check out part one of when they met at the grove.

Cal can't help but sigh as he thinks about Lae'zel, her lovely neck, darling ears, and beautiful skin as pretty as a fresh field of spring grass. He misses it, his little escape he had with her. Though it was hard training with her, he missed it, his lungs screaming in exhaustion, and the sight of her rare small smile when he did a good job... Cal's feet continue to drag on as he thinks of her, and he silently prays that she is okay.

Rolan watches Cal's dragging figure, curious. He leans over towards Lia, "Is Cal alright? He seems sick. Do I need to tell Zevlor that we should stop and rest?"

Lia shakes her head. "I think he is missing someone. Maybe he had a crush on someone in the grove? He's been sighing all morning…" 

Rolan's face contorts to one of worry before he leans in again, "You... you don't think it was Tav, do you?" 

Lia just gives Rolan a small laugh before patting his shoulder.

As the Caravan moves further into the shadowlands, things become darker and darker. Then, the screams.

It's an odd feeling to have your whole life change instantly. Her life, her loyalty... Was it all a waste? Lae'zel, of course, keeps all this inner turmoil packed down, hidden under her stone wall demeanor... She had felt so sure of everything in her life, but now everything she had ever known had been ripped apart. She truly, for the first time, feels lost.

Tav her... friend? (still a foreign concept to her) has been helping her get through everything, including the creche, and the Underdark, and now is trying to talk to her about what has happened, but it's just not a clear thing to explain, the storming feelings that boil in her belly… How can she share that weakness with anyone? 

Last night, when Voss appeared at their camp and revealed more truths, Tav sat with Lae'zel in silence all night, just there in case she wanted to vent. It was odd... Lae'zel appreciated Tav's act of comradery. It was a gesture of kindness that reminded her of someone... Cal...

Lae'zel would never admit that she missed Cal, but she did find that her mind would wander back to him and their last moments together. Those words of him thanking her and his foolish hope to see her again... She wanted to chastise herself for thinking such soft thoughts like some doe-eyed maiden... but the sight of his strong face lit up in the dark from the campfire, the orange glow of his eyes... and the conviction in his voice... She deep down knew that she wanted to see him again too... and she wanted him to hear her whispered admission of that...

Lae'zel scoffs to herself... What has become of her life? Getting to Last Light was a struggle, but everyone was relieved to get away from the shadows for even a semblance of sanctuary. And it turns out they were not alone. 

When Lae'zel saw the tiefling refugees, she was surprised to see that some of them had even made it through the cursed lands alive. Then, she started to keep her eyes peeled for one in particular. Lae'zel had been the first to point out Rolan to Tav from his drunken ranting at the bar; Lae'zel didn't know much of the wizard besides that he was Cal's brother. Tav made a beeline towards Rolan, and Lae'zel followed, hoping to figure out what had become of Cal; she had trained him, so he had to be okay... he just had to be.....

Lae'zel Could hardly contain her rage. Rolan had explained how he had tried to save them, but they just had to play hero. He had blamed Tav, but when he described how Cal had refused to back down until he was knocked out and dragged off, she knew that was her influence upon him—never back down, never accept defeat. That fool... and now he has been taken to Moonrise Towers. He had better still be alive, or she would kill him…

Of course, Tav had vowed to Rolan to return his family, something he snappingly rejected, saying she had done enough. Lae'zel had the mind to cut his tongue off from his disrespect to her friend, but he was Cal's brother, so she decided to show leniency this once.

"I feel terrible..." Tav shuddered through tears. Everyone else had gone to camp or the forgue, leaving Lae'zel alone with the sobbing Tav in the back of the Inn. 

"Poor Rolan." She kept trembling, and her tears seemed to never stop. Lae'zel rolled her eyes, still not fully understanding Tav's fascination and heartache for the rude spell caster. Lae'zel wouldn't criticize taste, however. 

Taking a page from what she had observed with others, Lae'zel reached her hand out and patted Tav's back (albeit a bit harshly), but it was a gesture of consoling. Tav lifted her head, turning her puffy red, wet face to Lae'zel. The gith fought every urge not to scoff at the pathetic sight. What would Cal say?

"Do not be so pathetic. We will save the wizard's family and others. He will be forced to shamefully bite his tongue when we retrieve them."

Tav and the rest of their party had decided that it would be best to split up and cover more ground. This meant, however, that Tav, Astarion, and Shadowheart went to save the captured while Lae'zel, Karlach, Wyll, and Gale ran interference. And though on the inside, Lae'zel wanted to go down to the dungeons, she didn't dare confess to this weak desire. Her pride wouldn't allow it... or maybe she just didn't know how she would respond if she didn't see Cal.

Lae'zel rolls her eyes at herself. She has a mission; she can't be thinking this now. They need to focus on getting back to Last Light.

Everything since Tav came down to rescue them has happened so fast. From breaking out to running for their lives to climbing into the boats, it all has been a blur. But now that everyone is safe, at last, Cal feels like he can finally breathe again.

After a tearful and somewhat loud reunion with Rolan, Cal was on a mission to see someone else. He hoped to find her if she was still with the band of misfits. Cal pushed through the people reuniting with one another, keeping his head on a swivel when a little tsk-like hiss caught his attention. 

There she stood, her skin perfect, her hair soft and intricately braided, and clad in her heavy silver armor. "Laezel," he can't help himself from whispering, and when he sees her delicate ears twitch and those harvest gold eyes meet his, he can't help how his heart races.

Before he can think, his feet move on their own as he runs to her; his heart is about to leap from his chest. Cal had thought of their days when they were becoming closer. He had spent restless nights dreaming of seeing her once again shining in the sun, praying to see her and get the chance to hold her in his arms. 

"Lae'zel!" he cheers, holding out his arms to her as he runs closer. "I had hoped to."

But before he could hold her... Lae'zel delivered a swift punch to his thick skull.

Lia and Rolan were not the only ones to gap at the reaction, seeing Cal quickly sink to his knees and wincing in pain. Everyone paused from running over when they saw Cal chuckle with a bright smile. Lae'zel looks down at Cal with a scowl.

"You dare get caught by the likes of those scum... I should cut you down myself." 

Cal keeps smiling as he looks up at her, "I knew you weren't going to be happy about that, but I also couldn't just stand and do nothing."

Lae’zel gives a short nod, "You're right. I would have been even more pissed. Now stand."

 Cal, knowing better, stands abruptly to his full height. Lea'zel eyes him carefully, and with her so close, he's having to fight the urge for his tail not to sway. All at once, those feelings he's held back come boiling over, and he can't stop himself from grabbing Lae'zel and squeezing her in a tight embrace. Lae'zel's first instinct is to pull away, but she also has the urge to meet his embrace. She's unsure if it's the feel of his arms around her or the smell of his musk, but she doesn't ever want to be let go.

So, with slow, careful hands, she reaches up and returns the embrace. Though she can't help that after a minute, she's patting his back impatiently with others, maybe seeing her in a vulnerable moment.

On the other side of the room, Tav and Rolan look on in disbelief. Rolan turns to Tav, "And how long has that been going on?"

Sometime during the night, Lae'zel and Cal could avoid pring questions from their friends (and family) and managed to get where it was only them in the cold night air of the shadowlands. Of course, Lae'zel didn't mean to open up to Cal... but somehow, he always brings out the worst in her, so she gives in to her feelings and explains her journey and why she is still infected... As she spoke, she couldn't believe how open she was. She was weak and vulnerable, but as she looked up at Cal's glowing eyes, they were so steady on her... She never felt safer…

"I'm a ward of my people... I was cast out... lied to, now I'm... alone."

"Refugee..." Cal finishes her sentence. Lae'zel lifts her eyes to see that Cal is already gazing at her. 

They both look away from each other bashfully; Lae'zel continues, "I have my Companions and Tav... but how could they fully understand me and my mind now…"

Cal takes in her words before an idea, "You could be with us!"

Lae'zel looks at him, confused, before he explains, "Think about it; we are not so different. We are both refugees trying to find a new home and a new purpose... and we both have cool eyes. I have ridges, and you have spots, but it decorates our skin. We both have pointed ears, though I would argue yours are far more elegant. Also, we both have sharp teeth... So would you want to join us for dinners, we usually eat lots of meats." 

Lae'zels eyes widen, "Join... your family..."

Cal flushes and stammers as he explains, "Only if you wanted! You could come and go as you please, but... We would treat you kindly. I can see you and Lia being fast friends, and... Well, Rolan will be at his apprenticeship, but the two are kind of similar, rough around the edges at first but loyal."

Lae'zel tilts her head, "So you see us getting along?"

"Yes! I mean, it would be an adjustment, but it's an option for you."

Lae'zel Couldn't help but smile at the thought of finally having a choice of her own.

As the night continues and the conversation grows quiet, Lae'zel stands and says, "You should reconvene with Rolan and Lia. It's late, and you must rest."

Before she can walk away, Cal stands up and quickly grabs her hand to stop her. She would have ripped her hand away if it had been any other, but this is Cal, so she allows it.

"I know you will be cured... and I don't want you to only be a pleasant memory I think of in the late nights as I stare into the stars... I want you in my life. I will respect whatever you decide to do with your future... In my selfish hopefulness, I hope you will stay in the city with us... But If you go elsewhere, I want you to know... You can always have a place with us if you want to." 

Cal leans in and kisses her cheek in soft tenderness. Lea'zel feels her cheeks redden at the mushy display, but it still stirs something in her chest. 

"I will get to the Gate... and look out for you there," Cal declares. 

Lae'zel shakes her head. "Your optimism is exhausting yet refreshing." She touches Cal's cheek, and he leans into her. He's so different from everyone she's encountered on this journey. She's unsure if she wants to hurt him or hold him, but she's in no place to decide now.

"This future where we meet in the city sounds pleasant... but I am unsure of my future and where I fit."

"It Should be where you want to be," Cal challenges. Lae'zel is shocked for a moment before she smiles and pats Cal's cheek. "Good night, Cal."

Cal lends his forehead to hers, a grand gesture of love and trust he wants to one day explain to her... "Good night. Lae'zel..." 

"Till we meet again in Baldur's Gate."

(part 3 finding each other again in the city!!)

[randomfandomblabdom]

I really need to vent about how much I like Cal and Merrin's dynamic in Jedi: Survivor cause they've quickly become probably my favorite canon pairing in the franchise.

I absolutely love that this relationship is built on the basis of friendship, respect, and a genuine mutual understanding of each other. From gameplay comments and conversations, Cal is very clearly so enamored with Merrin and literally everything about her. I know it's become a bit of a joke how clearly into her he is but he just thinks she's the most incredible being in the entire galaxy and it's honestly the sweetest thing. The writers could have very easily made his connection to Merrin a weakness or had it where it made his struggle with the darkness harder but I adore that they allowed him to be completely smitten with her and presented it as a strength. It's refreshing not only in Star Wars but in media in general, at least in my opinion. Love being presented as a positive asset is something so deeply missing in media nowadays - especially romantic love. Far too often in this day and age, love is presented as a weakness or something that will only bring you down, so I respect the fuck out of this writing.

Oops, this got really, really long so I'm putting the rest under a cut. It's kind of spitfire, so I apologize if it feels random.

I love how their first kiss is Merrin basically making a split-second decision where she realizes she doesn't want to die without kissing him at least once even if it runs the risk of making things awkward should they survive. Is it cliche as fuck? Absolutely, but it works so well in this instance. Cal being so dumbfounded, gawking at her like a fish, trying to process what the hell just happened that BD has to remind him they're literally about to die is the best thing too.

I appreciate that Cal is so obviously hesitant about giving into any sort of romantic feelings for Merrin because, of course, he would be due to his upbringing. He's pushing so hard against it to the point that he's even completely reluctant to so much as discuss it with Bode when they're on the Lucrehulk. Personally, I don't think Cal is oblivious to their potential feelings for each other. I've never been a huge fan of treating Cal as completely naive. He still might be a bit emotionally stunted, sure but he's lived 10 years outside of the Jedi Order at this point. I think he's hesitant to talk about it because first of all, it's really none of Bode's business but also, if he talks about it, he has to admit it, and if he admits it, that makes it real, and if it's real... well fuck, now he has to do something about it either way which is exactly what he's trying to avoid. I think he's trying to stay as neutral about it as he can until he gets to a point in the story/his arc where he decides he actually wants or feels ready to make a decision. Bode almost gets it out of him too before they're interrupted. The progression of Bode's questioning during that mission is something I actually find really interesting but that's a different topic.

Many people have pointed this out but Cal smiling so brightly while Merrin is clearly freaking the fuck out of Bode is just the cutest thing. Not only because he finds such humor in her scaring the shit out of people for fun when he of all people knows it's a running joke but he also goes along with the joke any chance he gets. He does this even when she's not around. People will be freaked out by her and he still plays along and it's not even like, "Yeah, I know, she's fucking scary bro," it's more like, "Yeah, I know, she can wake the dead, isn't it amazing how scary she is!" Someone else already pointed this out in another post but that feels almost more intimate than any kiss they share. His attraction to her encompasses all sides of her including those that many people find incredibly terrifying and I find that so endearing, he wouldn't ask her to change for anything. He's the only person who genuinely isn't freaked out by her in the slightest but not only that, he finds that side of her to be so incredible. Also, Cal being so blase with Bode about his obvious attraction to Merrin a mission prior and then having the most blatant sexual tension with her in front of Bode in the next scene is peak comedy, I don't care what anybody says. Like, Cal, honey, you just spent the entire previous mission trying to convince Bode (and yourself) there's nothing there and/or you're not pursuing it, so you're not doing yourself any favors by looking at her like that, standing that close to her, and speaking to her with the cadence of a lover bro.

I love that the second Cal walks onto the Mantis after killing Rayvis, she instantaneously picks up on the fact that something's wrong. Literally instantaneously. You can see her face drop the moment she sees him. She just knows something happened. Her ability to read him insanely well is something that is introduced very early on in the game, most noticeably in the campfire scene, and it stays consistent over the course of the story. The following conversation they have is honestly one of the best moments between them in the entire game. It's this type of conversation I've been wanting to see with a Jedi and their potential lover since Revenge of the Sith. He is so open with her even in a somewhat roundabout way about his genuine fear of losing himself and while the conversation is not explicitly about their relationship, the implication is still there and she 100% picks up on it, especially since he wonders aloud why Santari didn't see the change in Dagan before it was too late. Instead of shaming him for his reservations or calling it ridiculous or anything else she could have said at this moment, she instead decides to possibly help curb those fears and give him some comfort regarding it. She goes on to basically tell him in so few words she knows what she's signing up for and is willing to cross those bridges with him if they come. It's a great difference between Cal and Dagan. Though it's never outright stated that Dagan and Santari were in love, I feel like it's... pretty heavily implied, or at least he was definitely in love with her (was I the only one who read it that way??) but whereas Dagan demands that Santari talk him away from the darkness and seems to almost expect her to, Merrin herself plainly offers to do it with no prodding on Cal's part. It doesn't seem to be a burden Cal wanted to put on her, not something he was inherently expecting of her but she willingly offers, it is her choice, she wants to carry that burden with him. While she does seem maybe slightly annoyed by his hesitancy regarding their relationship to each other, she is also so incredibly patient with him while he's stewing over what he wants to do. It's beautiful. As a side note, "A shared dream is not so easy to wake from," is such an amazing line. Seriously, I want merch with that quote on it.

I liked that going through with the relationship was Cal's choice in the end. Merrin didn't push it, she didn't pressure it. She let him bring it up and come to her when he was ready and if that meant potentially being rejected by a man she very clearly adores, so be it, and I have no doubt she would've respected that choice if that's what he'd wanted. I know a lot of people seem to think he only makes this decision due to Bode's questions earlier but it really seems to be a combination of multiple things that lead to this. Bode picking his brain definitely got him thinking about it, maybe more than he wanted to, but I do think the other big part of Cal being willing to go forward with it at this moment is his confrontation with Dagan that, while an illusion, did cause him to come to grips with his own mortality in a way. "How does it feel knowing you're about to die. That your life meant nothing." As Cal says, Dagan uses an extremely powerful force hallucination based on fear here, so while losing himself to the darkness might scare him, his life being completely meaningless is what he seems to fear the most. Cal's journey throughout Survivor encompasses many things but one of them revolves around feeling aimless and finding a purpose, preferably outside of being a hired weapon that will surely and slowly consume him. It's what everyone consistently tells him: find a home, settle down, embrace happiness because it's fleeting, the path you're on is not healthy and will consume you otherwise...etc. His decision here to give in to his romantic attraction to Merrin is a culmination of all of these interactions and conversations he's had throughout the story, how they've influenced his line of thinking, and him coming to his own conclusions regarding what he personally wants and at this moment, when things are finally, calm and everyone is in a good place with a plan going forward, he personally decides there's no point in living up to the expectations of the Jedi when the Order doesn't exist anymore and wants to see where this could go.

I love the fact that when Merrin witnesses Cal's darkness in the ISB, it's made abundantly clear that she's just as afraid of losing him as he most likely is of losing her. I do think a major reason why she was able to talk him down at the moment is that he fundamentally understands what it feels like to lose everything and everyone, your entire livelihood. That is what they first bonded over and it's something that keeps them bonded in the saddest, yet most profound way and he would never want to add himself to the list of people she's lost. She's also doing exactly what she said she would. In an instance where again, she reads him like a fucking book, she can tell just from his responses on the intercom that he's losing himself and is guiding him back. She immediately went to rescue him as she says. No question, no argument, nothing, she simply does it. She made him a promise and she kept it and in that moment, he promises that she won't lose him, he won't allow it. This is a fundamental difference between Anakin and Padme's dynamic and Cal and Merrin's. While Anakin's love for Padme quite famously ends up extremely selfish in an "I would lose myself to ensure you're not ripped away from me" type of way, Cal and Merrin's dynamic is leaning towards a more selfless, "I won't allow myself to be lost because I can't let that happen for your sake," type of way and god damn it, I love it.

There are several interactions they have in gameplay that I'm lowkey peeved weren't included in cutscenes and one of them is when Cal returns to the Mantis after all but demolishing the ISB, they have this really short but great interaction where Merrin says that if he ever feels that way again, he needs to tell her. She doesn't even ask him to do it, she all but demands it, "If you feel that way again, you will tell me." She's demanding communication from him regarding the darkness and he doesn't fight this demand at all. He agrees to respect this request and I fucking love that from both of them. I will genuinely be kinda upset if we don't get a moment like that in the next game.

I like how their kiss after they've successfully navigated the abyss is kind of their first kiss inverted but instead of "omg we might die, I need to kiss you" it's more "holy shit, we survived, I need to kiss you," but instead of Merrin initiating, now it's Cal. I'm probably reading too much into that but whatever, it's cute.

This isn't about any one part in particular but I do love that it looks like the headcanon so many people had regarding Merrin most likely being quite physically affectionate is turning out to be true.

...I think that's enough for now lol I might add on some things later

Apologies for any typos and thanks for indulging my rambling if you got this far.

[diazsdimples]

Inspiration Saturday/ Several Sentence Sunday

I started a new wip. No one look at me.

The inspiration from this shamelessly comes the fact that I've been working in labour and delivery for the whole month of May and there's an obstetrician/pediatrician couple here that always see each other in the OR and I instantly thought of Buddie. So please enjoy the first (long) snippet of Doctors AU, featuring Obstetrician!Eddie and Pediatrician!Buck. The rest of the 118 will also feature in the obstetrics/pediatrics field, although roles are yet to be confirmed. I'm not 100% sure about this and a little nervous about sharing it cause sharing words has felt weird lately, so I'm sorry if it's not great!

Tagged for Inspiration Saturday by @inell @hippolotamus (eventually smh) @cal-daisies-and-briars @dangerpronebuddie and @daffi-990 (I will be getting to all your snippets so soon!) Snippet under the cut to save your dash.

Eddie pushes through the doors of the NICU, his chest heaving. He doesn’t do this; he doesn’t let patients get to him. He’s a professional. He performs a surgery, delivers a baby, stitches up the mother and moves on to the next one.

Except today, he can’t.

Eddie strides down the corridor until he’s in the nurses’ station and begins to scour the brightly lit electronic board with all the patient’s names.

He can’t shake the feeling that he’s fucked up, that he should have called it sooner and rushed the mother to surgery the second he’d been asked to see her. She’d been labouring for hours, and she was tiring when they called him in to review her. One look at the monitor by her bed had told him all he’d needed to know – that her and her baby were in distress, and something needed to be done.

But, she’d clutched his hand and begged him to let her try just a bit longer.

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut and takes a shaky breath as he tries to rid his mind of the memory of hearing the baby’s heart rate drop on the monitor. Even after being an obstetrician for 10 years, nothing will ever prepare him for the gut-wrenching fear that comes during an emergency. The way you hold your breath and will it to increase, counting in your head as you wonder how much longer you let it go before you dive for the emergency button. He’d done an examination when it was clear the heart rate wasn’t going to recover, to see if there was any chance she could push the baby out, and his heart had sunk into his shoes when he’d felt the umbilical cord before he was even up to his second knuckle.

Taking some deep breaths through his nose, Eddie opens his eyes and scans the board, trying to find the name. It’s possible it’ll be too early – the nurses might not have admitted the baby on the system yet, but the pit in his stomach grows with each passing second that he doesn’t find it.

There’s a noise behind him – someone clearing their throat – and Eddie spins around as a deep, calming voice speaks.

“Hey man, can I help you with something?”

Eddie is instantly taken aback by the man in front of him. He must be new, because Eddie’s certain he’d remember if he’d seen this guy in the OR, and he’s looking at Eddie with concern, his eyebrows furrowed and blue eyes piercing into Eddie’s. He’s tall and muscular – obscenely so for (Eddie assumes) a pediatrician, with dark blond hair that’s been plastered with a criminal amount of hair product. He’s in a pair of delicate pink scrubs, with a white lab coat over the front. There’s a small, rainbow watch hanging from the breast pocket of his coat, and a name badge on his chest, with two tiny feet drawn just beside his name.

Evan Buckley.

“Hey, I’m Dr. Diaz – uh – Eddie,” Eddie says, awkwardly extending a hand towards the man. His grip is firm but warm, and his hands are soft, although Eddie’s not sure exactly why he’s noticing that.

“Dr. Buckley,” the guy replies with a friendly smile that makes the corners of his eyes crinkle. “Everyone calls me Buck. You looking for someone in particular?”

Eddie turns back to the board with a frown, folding his arms, and Buck sidles up next to him, mirroring his stance. Their shoulders brush, and Eddie notices how the guy is just a couple of inches taller than him. Interesting.

“Yeah I’m – uh – I’m looking for baby McKinnon? Born about an hour ago via emergency caesarean due to cord prolapse and obstructed labour, resuscitated immediately after birth and bought here.”

Buck frowns and pulls out a list from the pocket of his scrubs.

“Is everything okay with the mother?” he asks as he scans his list, “You’re an obstetrician, right?”

“Yeah, she’s fine, pulled through surgery and is in recovery now. Just wanted to check up on the baby – he looked pretty rough.”

Buck lets out a deep sigh next to him and Eddie whips his head around, doing a double take when he sees Buck’s expression.

God, no, please no, let him be okay, let him have survived, he’s just mixed up with someone else.

“I’m sorry, man,” Buck says gently, resting a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “We couldn’t stabilise him. He was so hypoxic and they couldn’t intubate him and we – I’m sorry.”

Eddie must make a noise because the hand on his shoulder tightens. His chest feels tight, like he’s not getting enough air, the world is beginning to spin. He take deep, gulping breaths of air as he tries to regulate himself, but it’s not use.

It’s too close. Too much like Christopher. His son, his perfect, 7-year-old boy, looked just like that kid when he was born. Eddie’s too close to this. He’s gotta get out.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Eddie shakes himself from Buck’s grip, blinking furiously as tears threaten to spill down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I’ve gotta – I need to go,” he says hurriedly, his voice cracking, and he turns on his heel. He doesn’t run from the room, but it’s a close one. He barely even registers Dr. Buckley calling after him as he briskly walks down the corridor, practically throwing his swipe pass at the door, and then he’s in the stairwell before he knows it, drinking in the crisp, cool air as he slides down the wall and comes to a rest on a step.

Fuck.

No pressure tagging @theotherbuckley @watchyourbuck @bidisasterevankinard @neverevan @babybibuck

@aroeddiediaz @spotsandsocks @bibuckbuckgoose @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg

@jesuisici33 @wikiangela @loveyouanyway @exhuastedpigeon @houseofevanbuckley

@epicbuddieficrecs @kitteneddiediaz @hermscat @worriedbisexual @thekristen999

@slightlyobsessedwitheverything @actuallyitsellie @idealuk @simpingforhotfictionalcharacters @loserdiaz

@elvensorceress @underwaterninja13 @rainbow-nerdss @smilingbuckley @steadfastsaturnsrings

@spagheddiediaz @thewolvesof1998 @fortheloveofbuddie

[ashprince-of-bel-air]

The Tiefling Wizard.

Baldur’s gate was bustling, more busy than you had even imagined it to be, you weren’t sure if cities were always like this as a whole or if the tadpole issue had wiped your brain. You shook your head and continued on anyway, you had reasons to be here, more than just to defeat the Netherbrain.

You had first met Rolan at The Grove, then again at The Last Light Inn, he was so prickly, and self-assure that you wanted to hit him then and there, swiping that smug smirk from his face, you refrained from doing so at The Last Light Inn, feeling sympathy that he had lost his family. Taking pity upon him in his drunken stupor as you could see the hidden pain behind his eyes, you had then instantly made it your personal mission to ensure the safety of Cal and Lia, for some unknown reason you felt a pain in your chest seeing Rolan this way and refused to let him suffer any more pain as you watched him gulp down a bottle of Arrabellen Dry, not even having the courtesy to use the glass given to him.

After the bloody assault on moonrise and making sure that Cal and Lia were going to be safe, Rolan attempted to be nice to you, it was a feeble attempt but an attempt, nonetheless. Seeing the curt tiefling scold his siblings out of pure worry for them melted your heart, smiling softly watching the situation unfold as they embraced each other gently, knowing that the hardest part of their journey was hopefully behind them. As the night waned on in the Inn, Rolan wrested with his own pride over approaching you , he didn’t want to admit his previous attitude but he knew he could not leave without at least saying a thank you. The rest of the Inn were celebrating joyfully at your successful take down of the tyrant Ketheric, offer after offer of drinks being thrown upon you as you declined them politely, wanting these people to save their money, knowing that they will desperately need it in the up coming weeks. The only drink you did not decline was a glass of Arrabellan Dry that was placed down on the table in front of you by a very familiar crimson hand. Your face shot up to look at Rolan, confused at this gesture, all he replied with was a knowing nod as a thank you before saying in his low and smooth voice “If you make it to Bladur’s Gate, promise me you will come to Sorcerers Sundries?” His voice sounded almost awkward and desperate, like he was trying to ask for something more but he couldn’t find the words to do so. As Rolan walked away back to his siblings you helped yourself to the glass of wine he left, you wouldn’t spare his coin purse like you did every one else in the Inn because you felt like you deserved the wine from him after his snarky attitude the day before. The wine being a wonderful vintage you almost feel bad that he probably spent a good deal of gold on it, smirking softly your heart begins to flutter as you watch his happy visage as he drinks with his siblings, confused at how you could so quickly go from wanting to wipe the smile off his face with a slap to now wanting to be the person who causes him to smile.

The night at the Inn ends with your party waking with a hangover that even the gods could not cure, not that you didn’t try praying to all of them anyway. It was almost mid afternoon by the time you were all ready to move on and head to Bladur’s Gate, it would be a long journey at this rate if you were all going to be this cranky, the only person not affected by the hangover was Shadowheart as she was able to cure herself, not bothering to help anyone else though as it was amusing to her seeing the rest of you suffering. You silently cursed yourself “why did you have to give the Amulet of Silvanus to Gale you idiot” glaring at the back of Gale’s head blaming him for your hangover as if it wasn’t caused by the copious amount of alcohol you drank last night.

After a few days of travel you arrive at Baldur’s Gate, hardly unscathed as you had some complications along the way, your companions were now starting to irritate you somewhat after having spent so much time in each other’s company. Each one of them had their own personal issue to deal with and they all tried to talk over each other about them, all you could do was to pinch the bridge of your nose and hope this animosity would die down once you had all found a comfy place to sleep for the night. Collectively, you all agreed to a night off for the first time in months, you all booked separate rooms at the Elfsong Tavern and agreed that you weren’t each others problem tonight, you could all seek your own fun and enjoy the city. It wasn’t a surprise to see Astarion and Shadowheart gossiping over a bottle of wine downstairs in the tavern, nor was it a surprise to see Lae’zel head to the nearest training ground for the Flaming Fist, wanting to watch their battle style so she could learn from a potential enemy on their battle strategy. You sat alone in your room contemplating what to do, the only thing in your mind was Sorcerers Sundries. A bottle of wine and a nice fresh meal should have been first on your agenda, but you just could not get that damned cocky tiefling out of your mind, you did promise him that you would go there if you were in Baldur’s Gate, is what you told yourself.

The armour you normally wore was shed for the day, as you would not require it in the city, you opted for one of your more casual dresses, secretly hoping to impress Rolan with how soft you could look outside of a battle setting, proving you are more than just a battle-hardened warrior covered in blood and filth. Sneaking out of the Elfsong Tavern was no easy feat, you wanted to avoid Gale mostly, if he knew you wanted to go to Sorcerer’s Sundries he would have happily tagged along and told you all about the books he wanted to purchase there, making sure to show you every single one and summarise them for you when you got there. No, you wanted to go alone and see Rolan, you weren’t sure why you were so desperate to see him, there was just a feeling in your gut that would not let him go, not until you could speak to him properly.

It was almost dusk as you approached Sorcerer’s Sundries, the orange light hanging over the horizon made the building look more impressive, you entered and walked up to the empty counter at the front, hoping someone would be able to help you. A few moments pass and a mirror image of Lorroakan appears, you sneer at his smug reflection , you have heard of him previously and know that he is a jumped up poor excuse of a wizard, a fact Gale loves to tell you on occasion. Your heart sinks as you don’t find Rolan, wanting to thank him for the wine at the very least, at the very most you wanted to address this weird chemistry you seem to have, you exit the store with a sullen look and ponder your next destination.

As you walk through the cool night air your feet seem to take you back to the Elfsong Tavern, on the one hand you didn’t want to be there under the scrutiny of your camp mates wanting to know where you have been and why. On the other hand you were sort of glad that at least you were near your bed for the night so could get black out drunk if you wanted to. The tavern is bustling at this point as you are struggling to get served by the barmaid, cursing mentally that they only have one barmaid present at this time of day when most people would be heading in for a drink after a long and hard day of labour. Suddenly, you hear a familiar drunken tone and you stand up on your tiptoes to see over the bar. “I want a bottle of Mallorian White!” you hear the drunken voice slur, you smirk softly and shake your head, of course it was Rolan, you chuckled lightly. You begin to make your way around the bar to him, trying to ignore the knowing gazes from Astarion and Shadowheart as they are still sat in the corner, now watching the pair of you.

Rolan is leant against the bar, trying to argue with the barmaid to give him another bottle of wine, despite the fact he is clearly inebriated already. Your hand rests gently on his back and you interject ordering the bottle for yourself. “I’ll take the wine, thank you.” You smile at the bar maid and turn to face Rolan as she gets the bottle, your face drops as you see the purple markings on his face. Its not a conscious decision but your hand cups his face gently and strokes his cheek with affection and sympathy. “Rolan, Who did this to you?” your eyes were sad as you look at him when he shakes his head in refusal to answer, the barmaid places the bottle of wine on the bar next to you, assuming you didn’t need any glasses.

“come with me Rolan, I can help with those bruises” you say softly, intertwining your fingers with his. You grab the bottle of wine you ordered and both take your time walking up the stairs to the room you have rented for the night, him stumbling and holding on to you is what is slowing you down. Rolan mumbles a lot of confessions as you lead him to your room, you don’t catch most of it other than thank you. You are not sure what he is thanking you for at the moment but you don’t care, your concern is now to get him to bed and sleep, dreading the hangover he has In the morning.

Finally you manage to walk Rolan to the room you were renting, you had faced glares from Shadowheart and Astarion as to why Rolan’s arm was around you but you just rolled your eyes. You pushed open the door to your room and helped Rolan in, closing the door behind you, you then sat him on the bed. Rolan was sat swaying softly because of the alcohol, you knelt before him and placed your hands on his knees, looking up at him before speaking softly. ”Rolan, stay here okay? I’m going to get something to help with that cut.” You point towards his split eyebrow before you walk away, looking sadly back at him. How did he look more hopeful when he thought his siblings were gone? How badly was Lorroakan treating him? You pondered these questions as you found a salve in your pack, you found Rolan where you left him, swaying drunkly on the edge of the bed. The salve has a horrible smell but it works wonders, you warn Rolan before you apply it, you had had far too may people throw up on you when you hadn’t warned them about it.

The salve now on his face you smile at him, your hand still stroking his cheek. Rolan leans against it affectionately but you are unsure of his affections as he is drunk, you enjoy the moment for what it is, smiling at him and stroking his cheek still.

[ottpopfic]

He can't do this, and now he's wrecked everything here too, Leo turns on his heel and books it out of the house.

“Leo! Where are you going?!” Piper calls after him as the screen door slams, but it doesn't matter.

He just runs, and keeps running, just mindless sprinting as fast and as far as he can go. He's going to keep going, just like always, until he collapses in a new place with a new start like all the times before. Or he would if he didn't hear Piper call after him

“Leo Stop!”

Its charms speak, magic the only thing able to push past the need to get the fuck out of there. His legs lock mid-stride, momentum overbalancing him as he careens ass over tea kettle into the dead cattails. He still feels the need to run, the need to go, but he can't move his limbs with the spell on him. He ends up just laying on his back, looking up at the gray winter sky and screaming himself raw into the empty air

“Jesus Christ” Piper pants when she finally catches up to him, hands on her knees as she sucks wind “How are you so fast with those short little legs”

“Fuck you” he yells back trying to kick to no avail “Let me go!”

“Are you gonna run if I do?”

“You don't need me here” he continues to yell, but he's sounding more choked then he would ever admit “I'm just making everything worse like always, let me go!”

“Of course I don't need you dumb ass, but I sure as shit want you, get back in the goddamn house”

“You can't make me” he screams like a tantruming child

“Yes I fucking can!” Piper yells back, one hand still on her knee as she continues to try and catch her breath, the other pointing back the way they came “Get Back In The House!”

Leo goes, she can make him after all

“Never run off on me like that again” Piper berates him once they are both back inside, shoving him down onto the couch “you didn't even grab a coat!”

“A coat!?” he shouts hackles raised “That's all you care about?”

“Shut the fuck up” she scolds, finger in his face “Stop being an asshole I know what you're doing”

“What!? What am I doing?”

“You're trying to pick a fight to make me push you away” she reprimands “It's not gonna work dickhead all you are doing is scaring the shit out of me!”

“Exactly” he cries, half needing the fight, half wanting to curl up in a corner and die “I'm just making everything worse, I brought the shit here with me, I need to go!”

“No” Piper cuts him off “No shut up, I'm done doing this we’re watching Moana”

“What?!”

Piper beelines for the remote “SHUT UP WE’RE WATCHING MOANA”

They watch Moana, it's as good as the last three times Leo has seen it, one of the ones Georgie always requests for movie night. At the Way Station they have an old but reliable projector that's been tinkered into near sentience, casting its light on the wall that holds the building's liminal space. It makes Leo a little homesick, too bad he can never go back

They end up with Leo curled up against one arm of the couch with Piper laid out across the rest, her head on Leo’s shoulder and her arms around his waist like she's trying to hold him down. It's nice, to be held, it feels like a long time since he's been held. Even when he and Cal cuddled, alone or during the movie nights, it was always Leo doing the holding. And it felt stiff, awkward. He would get hugs from Georgie and Jo and Emmi, but they never held him, he never let them

“I lied” Piper murmurs eventually into the still

“Hmm?”

“Earlier when I said I didn't need you,” she confesses, eyes on the singing crab “I lied. I do need you”

Leo heaves a huge sigh and rests his head on top of hers, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to hold her back “I need you too Beauty Queen”

They watch Ponyo next, and then Thumbelina, and then somewhere in the middle of The Princess Bride Mr. McClean comes home. Leo gets roped into helping with dinner, it feels good to do something with his hands, he's starting to feel the prickling in his fingers as his creation calls to him asking to be finished. He pointedly ignores the feeling