#cactus crew

[zevzevarainai]

OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes - [5/?]

[fluffyartbl0g]

More for my crack time travel au!!!!

Speedrun/Time Travel AU

[thesconesyard]

Yeehawgust is coming and my sequel story from last year has been lagging, but here comes motivation (to be done so I can write the third part!) and chapter two!

Where the West Begins

2. Cowboy Casanova

“What are you going to name him?” Christine asked Jaylah.

McCoy rolled his eyes where he was sitting on the porch. Jaylah was petting the little kitten on her knee and teasing him with a piece of string. No one who had gone looking after lunch had found any more sign of the big cat whose footprints Scotty had discovered.

“I’m still thinking,” Jaylah answered Christine. Both laughed as the kitten batted his paws at the string and caught it.

Jim had been fine with the idea of Jaylah keeping the cat when he and Spock had returned.

“Never hurts to have a good barn cat,” he’d said.

“Hmm,” said Jaylah as the kitten turned and meowed at her. “How about Franklin? You look like a little Franklin.”

“Does it need a name?” McCoy asked.

“Of course!” said Jaylah.

“Yes!” Christine agreed.

McCoy couldn’t help but roll his eyes again and look away as Jaylah cooed over her new pet. Keenser came up on the porch then. He took one look at the cat.

“Keep him from the flocks,” was all he said before he entered the house.

McCoy was working in the main yard the next morning when the man appeared. A chill of memory went down his spine as he recalled just a few months before when another man had walked onto their ranch. That man, Khan- who had called himself John Harrison- was waiting for trial in a jail cell.

“Good morning!” The man called as he saw McCoy.

“Hello,” McCoy said back cautiously.

“Is this the Enterprise Ranch?”

McCoy looked at the man. He had to be about Jim’s age, with dark hair combed neatly and a face that had seen much sun. An accent lilted his question to McCoy, and he frowned slightly, trying to place it.

“It is,” he answered slowly. “How can I help you?”

“I’m looking for James T. Kirk; does he live here?”

“Yes.”

The man’s face broke into a broad grin and he let out an exclamation McCoy didn’t understand.

“Pardon my manners! My name is Kevin Riley,” the man gave a brief bow.

“Leonard McCoy.”

“I knew Jim long ago,” Riley continued. “I’m traveling west and heard he was here.”

“Well if you walked out from town, come in and have a drink,” McCoy said, his caution dropping. “I can go find Jim for you after.”

“Thank you kindly,” Riley smiled. “I am a wee bit parched.”

“Where are you from, if I may ask? I can’t place your accent.” McCoy gave him an apologetic look as he led him to the front porch.

Riley grinned. “A descendant of the kings of old Éire I be! Ireland is where I was born,” Riley clarified at the slight frown on McCoy’s face.

“Perhaps you’ll get on with Monty then. He’s from Scotland,” said McCoy. “Have a seat.” He gestured to the porch chairs. “I’ll have one of the girls get you something to drink and find Jim.” McCoy nodded at the man, then disappeared into the house.

McCoy found Jim with Spock and Chekov in one of the work sheds.

“Hey Bones!” Jim greeted him. “Come to help finally?”

McCoy frowned down at the project the men were working on.

“No. There’s a man here to see you.”

“He give a name?” Jim asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Kevin Riley.”

“Kevin Riley?! Well hot dang!” Jim hurried from the shed with twinkling eyes.

McCoy shrugged at the questioning look Spock gave him, then left the shed to return to his own work.

Kevin Riley proved to be a lively, kind person when everyone gathered for lunch. Jim introduced him around and he sat near Jim at the top of the table.

After lunch Jim hitched up the wagon and went back into town. He had insisted that before Riley continued west he had to stay on the ranch a few days. Therefore Jim would go with him to collect his things and bring them back out.

“He seems a good fella,” Sulu said as the men and Jaylah got back to work.

“Maybe,” Chekov muttered.

McCoy glanced and Scotty who shrugged.

“What do ye suppose got into the wee lad?” Scotty asked McCoy as they settled down for the evening.

“Chekov? Dunno.” McCoy thought back over the evening. Jim and Riley had returned and after dinner everyone had gathered around the porch to enjoy the cooling air after the heat of the day.

The pair had regaled them all with stories of their younger years and Riley had fit in quite nicely. He was kind and polite and paid the ladies many compliments throughout the evening.

At breakfast, McCoy figured it out. Keenser didn’t often come in for breakfast with everyone; after getting the stoves lit for the ladies, he’d head out with his flocks. Riley chose Keenser’s open seat and talked at length with Jaylah across from him.

McCoy saw then the way the corner of Chekov’s mouth twitched. McCoy smothered a grin and ate quietly.

He caught Scotty after breakfast and bumped his shoulder with his. Scotty looked over questioningly.

“It’s Jaylah,” he said quietly and nodded towards Chekov.

Scotty frowned for a moment, then his puzzlement cleared as he watched Jaylah lead Riley away to show him the ranch.

“Well,” was all he said with a chuckle.

[reverentwormpriest]

crazy that there's currently a global strike for Palestine and hoe ass OFMD fans trying to get it renewed still wont shut their asses up for a second. yalls morals are so backwards no matter how you spin it. you'd rlly rather get a show with a known zionist creator renewed than stfu and spread awareness of a genocide? be so fucking fr

im not the biggest acc, but its worth using the following I gained to support those whos voices are being taken away. donate to palestine in any way you can. this website is a free way to do so but i especially implore u to buy esims too as its the way Palestinians in Gaza are able to communicate with the world.

additionally no art will be posted from the 21st to the 28th in solidarity with Bisans calls for a strike. something yall couldn't follow for an hour. you should all be fucking ashamed

[pkmn-smashorpass]

Hi everyone!!

[magicalshopping]

♡ Christmas Cactus Crew Socks from MeMoi ♡

[stinkyhyena9000]

I actually don't like this ship but I'm obliged to ask if we're talking about horrific couples:

Buster Moon x Jimmy Crystal

Emphasis on the Fucked Up part of Fucked Up Bingo.

I actually am lowkey a fan of CrystalMoon, just because it's a hotspot for angst and projecting trauma onto.

If they weren't super awful for each other, they would actually be a kinda nice pairing. Wolves howl at moons, and the concept of them both bonding over being workaholic dads is kinda a cute prospect.

There is so much going on here that could be played with, but they're just horrible, considering Crystal almost killed Moon twice and got his franchise ruined by him, so yeah.

Here's a song I associate with the ship!!!: Howl - Family Crest [ x ]

[angelamoroso]

My 49th Birthday was full of fun in downtown Philadelphia at The Convention Center for the Flower Show, after party at The Marriott to top off the evening was perfect thanks to my daughter Christina 🖤🌹🌹🌹🌹💛⭐💛⭐💛⭐💛⭐💛

[solxamber]

Chasing Fairytales || Neige LeBlanche

Neige is convinced that you're either allergic to him specifically or he's done something to offend you with the way you're avoiding him. You're just trying not to get blinded by his smile.

Neige LeBlanche is baffled. Every time he sees you, your face contorts like you just bit into a lemon dipped in hot sauce while sitting on a cactus. It's a new look, and honestly, it worries him. You used to at least smile at him, maybe even nod, like normal people do. But now? Now, you treat him like he’s carrying some weird medieval plague.

He thinks back to every interaction. Did he step on your foot? Spill something on you? No, nothing comes to mind. One day you were acquaintances—maybe even teetering on the edge of friendship—and the next, you were bolting out of rooms faster than a cat hearing a vacuum.

Which brings him to his current situation: sitting in the house he shares with his friends. They’re all squished together on the couch, and Neige is surrounded by blank stares. These guys are his sounding board, but right now, they’re as useful as a broken umbrella in a hurricane.

“Did you sneeze on them?” Grum suggests, not even looking up from his game console.

“No, no, that wouldn’t be it,” Dominic pipes up, adjusting his glasses. “Maybe you accidentally sent them a weird text? Like one of those autocorrect disasters?”

Neige shakes his head, thoroughly confused. “I haven’t texted them anything strange…”

Hop, sitting cross-legged on the floor, nods sagely. “Maybe they saw you at a buffet once and you took the last of the mashed potatoes. People hold grudges over that kind of stuff.”

Timmy just blushes and mumbles something unintelligible while Snick chimes in with, “Could it be allergies? Maybe they’re allergic to you?”

At this point, Neige is spiraling. Allergies? Mashed potatoes? Is there a secret mashed potato incident he forgot about?

Toby simply taps Neige’s shoulder, holding up a drawing of two people holding hands with a big smiley face. Neige squints at it and tries to translate Toby's silent wisdom. “So… I should hold their hand? Is that what you’re saying?”

The group falls silent for a moment, pondering this profound suggestion. Then Shelpie yawns and says, “Maybe you’re just overthinking it. People are weird.”

Neige sighs, still no closer to figuring out why you’ve suddenly started acting like he’s carrying the plague.

Neige comes back to the club room after a long day of shooting and classes, ready to grab his bag and head home. As he's packing up, something catches his eye—a boxed lunch sitting right there on his desk. He blinks at it, confused. Is this...lost and found material? Was someone in too much of a hurry and just ditched it here?

But then he sees the note. "I’m cheering for you, Neige!" followed by a heart and a little smiley face. The handwriting is unmistakable—it’s yours. He stares at it, even more confused now, and kinda flattered too.

He scratches his head, wondering if he's entered some bizarre alternate universe where the person who avoids him like he's contagious is also sending him homemade lunches. "What did I do to deserve this?" he mumbles to himself, half expecting a hidden camera crew to pop out and yell “Surprise!”

Another day, Neige is stranded on campus, waiting for the rain to stop. His umbrella? Oh yeah, he gave that to a girl with a cold earlier because he's just that nice. Now he’s soaking and shivering under a tree, watching the downpour like it personally offended him.

Suddenly, he hears footsteps and sees you walking by, your jacket pulled tightly around you. It's the perfect chance to finally talk to you, to maybe say thanks for the mystery lunch. He smiles at you, hoping this might be the icebreaker he’s been waiting for.

Your reaction? You freeze like you’ve just seen a ghost, eyes wide and panicked, and before he can even get a "Hey, how are you?" out, you launch your umbrella at him like it's a grenade. "Wha—?" he barely gets the word out before you're gone, running away with your jacket awkwardly balanced over your head like a makeshift hood.

Neige stands there, soaked and confused, holding your umbrella and thinking, "We could have shared that, you know…"

The next day, he spots you again, this time crouched in the courtyard, petting a cat. You're cooing at it, making all those weird sounds people make when they think no one's watching, and the cat?

It's loving it, basking in the attention like it's at a spa. Neige sees an opportunity to approach—no rain this time, no excuses. He kneels beside you, reaching out to pet the cat too. "Cute, isn’t it?" he says, smiling softly.

You, on the other hand, barely look at him. "Yes, cat," you mumble like it's some kind of mantra, eyes darting nervously. Then you do a quick check of your phone and blurt out, “Oh no, I’m late for our class!” before bolting upright and sprinting off like a marathon runner.

Neige watches you go, utterly perplexed. "That class is in five hours," he says to the cat, who just looks up at him with a smug purr, like it's in on some cosmic joke that Neige will never understand.

Neige is lost. He's been called naive before, but this? This is a whole new level of confusion. And maybe—just maybe—a little heartbreak. You used to treat him like an actual person, not just a walking photoshoot waiting to happen.

Now? You're acting like he’s got some sort of rare, contagious celebrity plague, the kind of thing you’d catch from standing too close to a red carpet. Every time you see him, your face scrunches up like you just bit into an entire lemon, rind and all.

He’s walking through campus when he spots you with Vil. Now, Neige likes Vil. He admires him, even. Dreams of the day they’ll sit together, drink tea, and discuss which highlighter makes you look “ethereal but approachable.”

But right now, all he sees is you laughing and waving your hands like you’re auditioning for a role in a one-person circus, and Vil? He’s smiling at you like you’ve just told the funniest joke on the planet. And Neige feels something... alien.

It’s not heartburn from that extra-large mocha frappuccino he had earlier—no, this is worse. His stomach twists, his heart sinks, and it’s official: Neige, the cinnamon roll of the universe, is jealous.

Back home, he gathers his trusty team of consultants: Timmy, Toby, and the rest of the gang, who are sitting around the table, looking like they’re about to solve world hunger or invent a new kind of pizza. Neige dumps the whole story on them, his head in his hands.

“And then,” Neige groans, “they just ran away, like I had some kind of... I don’t know... ‘Famous-People-itis!’”

Timmy leans back, strokes his chin with all the fake wisdom of someone who has never solved a problem in his life, and says, “Neige, it’s obvious.”

Neige perks up. “It is?”

“Oh yeah.” Timmy nods solemnly, like he’s about to deliver a TED Talk. “They’re sick.”

Neige stares at him. “Sick?”

Hop jumps in, wide-eyed like he’s just cracked the code to the universe. “Yeah! It’s so clear! They’ve got a classic case of... uh... ‘Stage-Fright-itis.’ Happens all the time when regular folks meet people like you.”

Neige blinks. “That’s... not a thing.”

Hop waves him off, undeterred. “Totally a thing. Maybe they’re allergic to fame. It’s like how some people get hives around cats. You’re like a walking award show, man. Just your presence makes people break out in nervous sweats.”

Dominic nods sagely. “Or worse. They could’ve caught ‘Starstruck Syndrome.’”

Timmy gasps, clearly thrilled by this new theory. “Yes! Classic symptoms: sudden avoidance, inability to make eye contact, randomly throwing umbrellas at you instead of saying hello—textbook case.”

Neige stares between them, confused but desperate. “So... you think they’re avoiding me because they’re sick? Like, fame-sick?”

Snick shrugs. “I mean, what else could it be? You’re Neige LeBlanche, man! Maybe they’re just overwhelmed by your... Neigeness.”

Neige feels like he’s fallen into some kind of alternate reality where this actually makes sense. He nods slowly, trying to absorb it. “Okay, so... they’re not mad at me? They’re just... allergic to me?”

Timmy grins. “Exactly! Just give it time. Maybe bring them a cup of tea. Or like... a calming crystal. And if it gets worse, well, maybe invest in a hazmat suit. Just in case.”

You don’t know how this happened. One minute you’re chatting with Neige, all sunshine and sparkles, and the next, you wake up in a cold sweat, realizing you are absolutely, horrendously down bad for him. It’s not even subtle. It’s like a piano fell from the sky and crushed your chest with feelings.

But you? You’re... well, you. Neige is a celebrity, practically a walking ray of sunshine wrapped in a Disney Princess aura. Birds sing when he passes by, small woodland creatures would probably braid his hair if they had thumbs. And you? You’re the person who trips over their own shoes and talks to houseplants like they can solve your problems.

So, naturally, you do what any responsible person would do when faced with a crush that could upend their entire existence: you avoid him. Completely.

You’ll still be polite, of course—leave him the occasional lunch with a cute note, chuck an umbrella at him when it’s raining—but actual conversation? Nah.

That’s just asking for trouble. You’re already too attached, and the last thing you need is for this crush to grow into a full-blown romantic disaster.

One day, you’re chatting with Vil—well, "chatting" is a strong word. You’re pacing back and forth like a caffeinated squirrel, ranting about Neige and gesturing so wildly that Vil could probably make a whole meme compilation of just your hand movements.

“And he’s just so... pretty! It’s not fair! How can someone be that perfect? I swear, he’s like—like—” You flail dramatically, trying to find words for the cosmic injustice that is Neige LeBlanche.

Vil, who has been quietly sipping his tea, raises an eyebrow and watches the spectacle. At first, he’s mildly entertained. But the more you rant, the more he realizes something: you’re down bad.

You, who have somehow mastered the art of functional chaos, are completely, hopelessly in love with Neige. And Neige, poor, oblivious Neige, probably thinks you’ve contracted some rare, Neige-specific allergy.

Vil starts to laugh. Not just a chuckle, but a full-on, head-back, hand-over-mouth, this-is-the-best-day-ever laugh. He finds it hilarious that you, despite being tangled in your own feelings, have the emotional awareness of a potato. And Neige? Well, he’s just confused, which is even better.

“You’re fools,” Vil says, wiping a tear from his eye. “Both of you. Foolishly in love.”

You don’t even register his comment. You’re too busy waving your hands around, grumbling, “It’s just... it’s not fair! Why does he have to be that pretty? I mean, does he wake up with that face?”

Vil sips his tea, smirking. This is prime entertainment. And that’s when he notices Neige across the way, glancing over at you two with wide, unsure eyes. Ah, poor, innocent Neige.

With a bit of mischievous spite—and maybe a touch of pity—Vil lets out a soft sigh and shifts his expression. He stares at you with the most lovesick gaze he can muster, his eyes practically glowing with “adoration.” It’s a look straight out of a romance drama, and he knows it’s Oscar-worthy.

Neige sees it. And Vil sees him see it. The realization hits Neige like a freight train. His eyes widen, his mouth opens in a soft, shocked “O,” and Vil? Oh, Vil is living for this. The confusion, the dawning horror, the jealousy—all of it.

Neige, who probably hasn’t had a jealous bone in his body until this moment, now looks like he’s contemplating the meaning of life, death, and why Vil is looking at you like that.

Meanwhile, you’re still pacing, completely oblivious to the emotional chaos you’ve just triggered. “And another thing—how does he smell that nice all the time? It’s not normal, Vil. It’s witchcraft. I bet he’s got a secret team of scent specialists just following him around.”

Vil stifles another laugh. “Yes, yes. Quite the mystery.”

Neige, on the other hand, is staring at the two of you like you’ve just declared war. He doesn’t understand it yet, but for the first time in his life, he feels something dark and uncomfortable curl in his chest.

Vil catches his eye again and gives him the tiniest smirk. Neige stiffens.

You, still on your rant, throw your hands in the air. “I just... I don’t get it. It’s like... he’s too perfect. I can’t deal with it.” And Vil can't even muster the energy to get offended. He thinks this is prime entertainment.

Vil pats your shoulder, thoroughly amused. “Perhaps you should... have a word with him.”

You stop, finally noticing Vil’s smug grin. “What? Why?”

Vil just smirks and takes another sip of tea. “Oh, nothing. Just a hunch.”

You’ve finally decided that enough is enough. You’re going to talk to Neige. You’re not even sure what you’re going to say—probably something awkward about feelings and how he’s so perfect it makes your head spin—but the important thing is that you’ve made up your mind.

It’s time to stop running away like a scared cat and face him like a grown adult. Or, at the very least, someone who’s pretending to be a grown adult.

So, you walk to his house, your heart hammering in your chest, rehearsing about a dozen different ways to break the news. "Hey, Neige, I think I might be a little bit in love with you..." or maybe, "So, uh, funny story, I can’t look at you because you’re too attractive and it’s ruining my life."

But just as you raise your hand to knock, the door flies open, and there’s Neige, looking frazzled and... holding a hazmat suit.

“Here!” He thrusts it at you like it’s a life-saving device. You blink at the suit, then at him.

“Uh... why?”

“Because you’re allergic to me!” Neige says, as if this is the most obvious thing in the world.

You stare. He stares back, eyes wide and earnest, and you can’t decide whether you want to laugh or cry.

“Neige, that’s not... that’s not a thing that happens to people.”

“But you’ve been avoiding me!” he blurts, clutching the hazmat suit like it’s his last defense. “Every time I see you, you run away, or—” he frowns slightly, “—you throw things at me, like umbrellas! I just thought... maybe you were... allergic?”

You feel a pang of guilt seeing the hurt in his eyes. Here’s Neige, genuinely thinking he’s the problem, when really the only issue is that he’s so perfect it makes your brain short-circuit.

You take a deep breath. It’s now or never. “Neige, I’m not allergic to you. I just...” You swallow, trying to find the right words. “I’ve been avoiding you because... I like you. A lot. Like, in a romantic way.”

For a moment, the world stops. Neige blinks, his face blank as his brain processes your words. Then his heart stutters, and before you know it, he’s dropping to one knee.

You panic. “Wait—what are you doing?!”

Is he skipping directly to a proposal? Is he about to reject you so hard he’s physically collapsing? You stare, horrified, wondering how things escalated this quickly.

But then Neige laughs, a bright, happy sound that immediately sets your heart racing in a different way. “No, no, I’m not proposing! I mean—unless you want me to—but, um, I was just going to ask if you’d be my partner.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, and then before you can stop yourself, you grab him by the collar and kiss him. His lips taste like cotton candy and a dream come true, and for a moment, everything feels like a fairytale.

When you finally pull away, Neige’s smile is so blinding it’s a wonder the sun hasn’t given up trying. “I think I was... jealous?” he says, almost like he’s surprised by the revelation. “That’s never happened to me before. When I saw you with Vil... I didn’t like it.”

You laugh, the sound bubbling up uncontrollably. “Vil? Don’t worry about him. He’s my friend. He was just messing with you for fun.”

Before Neige can respond, there’s a loud achoo from behind a nearby bush. You both turn to see his friends slowly emerge, looking sheepish. Snick is rubbing his nose, and Grum is pretending he wasn’t just crouched in the bushes like a nosy little spy.

“Well, this is awkward,” you mutter, feeling your face heat up.

But they aren’t even phased. They burst out cheering, clapping and whistling like they’ve just witnessed the grand finale of a romantic drama. You can’t help but laugh as they chant congratulations, even though you want to crawl into a hole and die from embarrassment.

Neige turns to you, smiling that bright, pure smile of his. “Maybe this is a fairytale ending after all.”

And for once, you think maybe—just maybe—you’ve finally found your happily ever after.

Masterlist

[sanji-simper]

I *Love* French Sanji, so so much. He means the world to me!!

I imagine him yelling swears in French, and calling his beloved Nami-Swan "Mon Amour" (My Love).

He would TOTALLY yell insults at Zoro, and then Zoro would just be like, "FUCK YOU I SPEAK JAPANISE!!" or whatever One Piece characters speak.

Little does Zoro know, his Love Cook actually yells complements, like

"TAIS-TOI AVANT DE RUINE TON VISAGE CHAUD !!"

(SHUT UP BEFORE I RUIN YOUR HOT FACE!!)

or

"Tu n'as pas le droit d'être aussi beau et aussi agaçant en même temps!!"

(YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE THIS PRETTY AND THIS ANNOYING AT THE SAME TIME!!"

Zoro (or the rest of the crew... exculding our queen Robin ofc) would never find out of course.

He probably talks to Robin in French, maybe even helping her out on it a little on the extremely rare occasion where she misspeaks.

Vivi is a princess, I wonder if she knows at least a LITTLE bit of French, or any type of foren language. I bet shes asked him for lessons one or two times.

Also, Zeff is French too bc I said so. He probably talks to Zeff in French like 24/7 and the rest of the baratie just goes along with it, some people might even pick up a little French.

I love the thought of all the chefs at the Baratie just being one big family.

Some French nicknames for the Strawhats would include:

Luffy - Capitaine (Captain)

Zoro - Tête de mousse, Épéiste merdique, tête de cactus, ect. (Moss Head, Shitty Swordsmen, Cactus Head)

Nami - Mon cygne, Chère,Ma reine (My swan, Dear, My Queen)

Usopp - Long nez, Imbécile (Long Nose, Moron -affectionately tho, hehe-)

Vivi - Ma princesse, Mon océan (My princess, My ocean)

Chopper - Nourriture d'urgence, Appât à poisson (Emergency food, fishbait)

Robin - Mon ciel nocturne, Mon corbeau (My night sky, my raven)

Franky - le petit ami de Robin, Canette de soda (Robins boyfriend, Soda can)

Brook - Pervers squelette (Skeleton Perv)

Jimbe - Idk Tbh

DISCLAMIER I USED GOOGLE TRANSLATE AHHA. I wish i could speak french 😓

Tdlr; I love French Sanji

[commodorez]

Thy Graphics

A graphics card for the Cactus directly patterned after the OSI-440, with a few modernizations and optimizations.

I've replaced the eight 2102 SRAM chips with a pair of 2114s. I've also swapped the 2513 character generator ROM with a 2816 EEPROM which gives me not only lower case letters, but pseudo-graphical characters not unlike PETSCII. I've re-implemented the address select logic using modern parts (thank you 74688), and swapped the open-collector NAND gate based video/sync combiner circuit with one I copied from a PET video combiner circuit using 4066 analog switches. I didn't like how vague the delay taps were described, so I added in some jumpers to let the user pick their delay timing.

And hooo boy this had some motherfucking BUGS in it.

Vertical sync polarity was backwards.

Video pixel data was inverted too.

In fact, so were the DIP switches for the address select.

I also got half of the 74123 resistor/capacitor inputs backwards due to not paying attention to the idiosyncrasies of the symbols in my old version of KiCAD.

Oh, and the character ROM I stole from my OSI-540B replica has inverted bit order, so the characters looked backwards.

Every single problem I had was due to something being backwards.

Nothing a little debugging can't fix. Took about 7 hours of tired stumbling with help from friends in the retrotech crew to figure out all the little faults and work around them, but in the end...

It works! It fucking works! The Cactus has video! I made a fucking video card from scratch! I didn't use any dedicated video chipsets or FPGAs or microcontrollers or CRTCs or any of that shit. I didn't make VGA, I made composite video.

All 24x24 usable characters on screen in monochrome goodness from this tiny little PCB. Now onto the Rev B design!

[beedokart]

Some Christmas art of the crew.

Making a cactus dress as a Christmas Tree is apparently embarrassing.

[ollieneedstherapy]

D.A.M.N crew head cannons

-As a kid Damien would stay up late and read under the covers

-Huxley’s moms names are Jade and Ruby, both are earth elementals

-Gavin’s go to slushee is Pinà Colada and blue raspberry

-Freelancer’s loves reading, they’re the kind of person who has a new book every few days

-Gavin loves to have freelancer sleep on his left side and have Caelum on his chest, he sleeps on the right side of the bed which is the closest to the door

-every night for years Lasko would text all his friends good morning and good night texts, he only stopped after the intervention

-Huxley is one of the people who can do the Alphabet backwards, he did it so much as a kid, he struggles to sing it forward

-Damien had seen basically every studio Ghibli film, after a hard day he’d make sure no one else was home and cry while watching Howls moving Castle

-Huxley can carry everyone in the easily (is this one cannon??)

-Freelancer owns a plush for everyone in the group, Damien’s is Calcifer, Lakso’s is a d20, Huxley is a cactus, Gavin’s is a dick, Gavin’s is a slushee cup

-Caelum, when he can’t sleep will check on all of his charges four or five times to make sure they’re safe

-Freelancer loves to sing ‘Freeze your Brain’ to Gavin, he has no clue what it’s from or the meaning but he’s happy his Deviant is happy

-Gavins super allergic to pollen, during the spring this guys dying

-Lakso can and will rap old English for his students, he can not rap in normal English

-Huxley got everyone in the group Stanley’s for Christmas because he knows none of them drink enough water, and they’d feel bad if they didn’t use the gift

-Gavin, in his true form, has strips on his back and thighs, when Freelancer and him have…fun, they like to trace them

-Lakso drinks enough caffeine to kill a horse, some of his students keep track of how many energy drinks he drinks in their class alone (The most is 4 and a half)

-Damien has owned 4 cats, 3 dogs, 17 gold fish, and 6 Guinea pigs before he started high school

-He was also homes schooled till he started year 8

-Freelancer and Lakso meet up twice a month, just them, to watch shitty K-dramas

-Caelum doesn’t understand popcorn, when Gavin and freelancer have a movie night with him, he spends like ten minutes just asking about how popcorn works

[thesconesyard]

Ok, ok, ok.

New story time!

The beginning of the sequel to When the Cactus Blooms!

Hopefully posting this will keep me working on it. (I know I have other stories that need to be worked on too, but the block is so hard to fight. Here’s hoping less stress when work gets out for the summer in a couple weeks will help! 🤞)

[I had so much fun writing for Yeehawgust last year that I went back to previous year’s prompt lists to write another Star Trek western. I don’t recall which year’s this was, but I can’t take credit for the chapter/prompts, that’s all @yeehawgust. Thanks!!]

Where the West Begins

Ch. 1 Meowdy!

Life moved at its own pace on the Enterprise Ranch. Though that had been a very quick pace during the previous spring and summer. Leonard McCoy looked out across the north pasture, and let his thoughts drift. Two gangs and a pair of villains taken out. A new addition to their family on the ranch in the form of Jaylah. And best of all, at least to McCoy, love in his life again.

McCoy couldn’t help a smile as he looked over towards where Montgomery Scott was working on the pasture gate.

“Len, look at this.”

McCoy turned to walk back to where Scotty was. His eyes widened as he saw the paw print Scotty was pointing at.

“Oh,” was all he got out.

“We’ll have to let the others know, and keep a lookout in case,” Scotty said.

McCoy moved in the direction the print was facing. “More over here,” he said, as he continued to follow the prints. “Just what we need,” he said sarcastically, “a big cat hassling the cattle.” He looked out at the land around them.

“Probably came down from the hills,” Scotty said, stepping up next to him.

“Hopefully it’s gone on its way and left us well alone.”

“Hopefully,” Scotty agreed.

“Where did they go?” James T. Kirk looked down the table at lunch.

McCoy gave his head a shake. “Didn’t follow them too far and besides the ground was softer by the fence.”

Jim rubbed a hand over his face. “Alright. Spock, we’ll check it out after lunch. Sulu, you and Chekov check on the east pasture. Make sure everyone is accounted for.”

“Can do,” Hikaru Sulu answered and Pavel Chekov nodded in agreement.

“Bones, you and Scotty check around the north pasture, see if you can find anything more.”

“Aye,” Scotty said and looked over at McCoy.

“What about me?” Jaylah spoke up.

Jim’s face gave a guilty start. Jaylah had learned much and quickly, and though Jim tried he did forget on occasion.

“Come with us lass,” Scotty said before Jim could answer.

Jaylah glanced at McCoy and he nodded at her.

In the north pasture, McCoy took off his hat and fanned himself for a moment. The late summer sun beat down.

“I’m not seeing anything,” McCoy called over to Scotty and Jaylah.

“Aye, same,” Scotty called back. They had spread out to cover more ground.

A sudden squeal from Jaylah had both men turning. She had closed in on one of the few trees in the pasture and was looking into its branches.

“What’s wrong lass?” Scotty cried as he began hurrying towards her. McCoy moved quickly as well.

“Look!” she exclaimed, pointing into the tree.

“Get away!” McCoy ordered, thoughts turned to a cougar leaping down at them. A chill went down his spine.

“Lassie!” Scotty yelled as Jaylah moved to the tree trunk.

In a flash she had jumped towards a low hanging branch and pulled herself up. McCoy grabbed onto Scotty’s arm as they stopped at the base of the tree and watched Jaylah climb higher.

McCoy’s heart began to slow its racing as he saw there was nothing but Jaylah in the tree. His fears had been for nothing.

“What are ye doing?” Scotty demanded next to him. He could hear the man’s own fear coming out now as frustration.

McCoy looked at Scotty as a tiny sound drifted down to them. Scotty gazed at him in surprise. Moments later Jaylah dropped to the ground in front of them, something tiny and noisy held in the crook of her arm.

“Look!” she said. She held out a small bundle of fur towards them.

“You scared the hell out of us for a kitten?” McCoy almost yelled.

“Shhh! You’ll frighten him! Look how cute he is!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” McCoy muttered and turned around to walk back to the pasture gate.

[marlynnofmany]

Not Special, Part Two

(Part One is here)

Oscar Tennyson grabbed his purchases and hurried after the rest of his crew. As usual, they were walking quickly on their longer legs and bellowing for him to keep up. The teeth-and-scales Mighty had no patience for human weaknesses. Of which there were many.

But, as Oscar had just learned, there were some strengths as well. And he couldn’t wait to show them.

He scampered onboard before the door shut, wondering if they would actually leave without him if he dawdled too long. Probably not — who would handle their finances and hunting permits? They’d have to hire someone else, because they certainly didn’t want to do it themselves. But he didn’t want to test that.

He had much better things to test. While the stark metal walls vibrated with the engine’s revs, Oscar wove between scaled biceps and tails to his own quarters. He pressed the panel by the door, which was oversized and cracked like all of them on this ship. The Mighty were not fans of fiddly little buttons or keys. Not when they could have panels big enough to punch, which only broke sometimes.

When Oscar stepped through and closed the door behind him, he felt immediately relieved. This was his private space to decorate as he chose, without worrying that someone would take things down or make fun of him. Ship rules were clear about personal quarters. Oscar’s fake orchids and real cactus made the room homey, along with more posters than the walls could hold. They spilled onto the ceiling, lining it with nature scenes from Earth, sports figures he admired, media announcements, and a good number of fluffy kittens. This was the one spot on the ship where he could feel comfortable, and he was making the most of it.

The bag of refueling station supplies crinkled as he set it on his small table to remove the contents. A high-end store might have had Waterwill bags that evaporated after a day, but this place used regular old plastic. Inside were food cubes, bottled water, and the purchase he was most excited about: six cans of very weak caffeine.

He scanned the label. It was just like the other human had said. Tall cans in dramatic colors, but not much of substance inside. At least, not as far as the average human was concerned.

Oscar couldn’t wait until dinner time.

Before then, he had a permit to submit and several other things to check. The ship should be on the way to Argosha, which was notorious for welcoming outsiders in to hunt the Dagger Birds that were giving everyone so much trouble, but he had better get their paperwork in order anyway.

He grabbed his tablet and left his safe haven, heading back into the public parts of the ship where he could face taunts from any direction. Really, these guys were just like his cousins. At least it was familiar.

Fending off tiresome conversation — “How’s the weather down there?” “Why don’t you ask your mother?” —he reached the bridge and found a corner to stand in. The captain and the pilot were arguing about where to land when they reached Argosha.

“The main site will have more people to admire our ship!”

“The new one is closer to the hunting grounds!”

“Dagger Birds are overrunning the place; everywhere is a hunting ground!”

“Do you want to pay the damages for shooting a building instead of a bird? We can take it all out of your pay, if you want!”

“Fine, but if we land on some overgrown hedge and the ship is scratched, you get to pay for that!”

“Fine!”

The pair of them stopped yelling and sat back in their seats as if nothing at all was the matter, because it wasn’t. Polite disagreements were always held at that volume.

In the brief lull while the pilot manipulated the controls with more force than a lesser console could withstand, Oscar spoke up. “I’d like to come too.”

Both dinosaurian heads turned to stare at him in surprise. “Why?” the captain demanded. “One kick from a bird, and you’re useless to us.”

“Thanks,” Oscar said flatly. “I’ll keep out of the way. I want to take photos of your fighting prowess; I should be able to sell them.”

Both of the Mighty preened at that, as he’d known they would. Ego was big here. The captain agreed, and Oscar didn’t let slip any hints of his secret plan. He just finished working on his tablet, then retreated to his quarters to practice Dagger Bird mating calls.

The air on Argosha was breathable but hot, at least this part of it. Oscar was ready with his Tool in his pocket. (He’d gotten out of the habit of calling it a phone, since the Mighty were right in that it did a near-infinite number of things.) (He still smirked quietly at the potential innuendo, but it was a conversation he didn’t really want to have with giant dinosaur aliens, so he kept that to himself.)

“This way,” announced the captain, pointing in what looked like an arbitrary direction into the wilderness. Whooping with the alien equivalent of testosterone, the crew raised their blasters and tromped off the landing pad with Oscar following close behind.

True to his word, he did take some pictures as he went. But he was waiting for his moment.

It didn’t take long to come. The shouting scared off all the wildlife, then the Mighty found a boulder to crouch behind and wait for the creatures to come back. They played a silent counting game to see who was best at guessing when they’d spot something worth killing.

Distant footsteps on leaves made them smack each other in excitement, but nothing appeared between the trees.

Now or never, Oscar thought. Knowing better than to startled his crewmates, he whispered, “Here, let me.” Then he took a deep breath and let loose with his best imitation of a Dagger Bird seeking a mate. “Woarrrrrrk!”

While the Mighty shushed him and wondered what he was doing and started to figure it out, an answering woarrk sounded from nearby.

Then another, then, three.

Oscar wondered if he’d overplayed his hand.

No less than five large and eager Dagger Birds crashed through the undergrowth at once, croaking and flapping, taking offense at each other’s presence. The Mighty all roared and leapt out, firing in every direction.

Oscar dashed for a tree he’d been eyeing, the one with lots of branches, and didn’t stop climbing until he was out of beak-stabbing range. He held tight to the trunk, catching his breath and watching the chaos. Belatedly, he remembered to take out his Tool and snap some photos.

This was actually a good angle. He got a great shot of the captain aiming down the throat of a wide-open beak, then another a split second later when the beak snapped shut inches from his head. Another of the engineer shooting one from beneath. Two of the pilot tackling the largest bird and sinking teeth into the back of its neck where it couldn’t reach to stab.

Other species did their trophy hunting from a distance. The Mighty liked the fight as much as the kill. Their blasters were set on a deliberately low setting, and their teeth were sharp.

Safe up in his tree, Oscar grimaced at how bloody things were getting down below. He yelled another bird call to distract the one about to spear the crewmate who’d been knocked to the ground, and he got a cheerful “Nice save by the little guy!” which was as close to a thank you as he was going to get. The crewmate scrambled up and bit off a chunk while the bird was distracted. A couple of the crew looked like they were bleeding their own blood, but most of it was coming from the Dagger Birds, which were just as stubborn as the stories had said. Not one of them ran off. The last to die fell on top of somebody, which just added laughter from the rest of the crew to the triumphant cheers.

Oscar took a picture of the bird being dragged off his disgraced crewmate. That photo he wouldn’t sell, but would keep as minor blackmail if he ever needed it. Sticking it up on the wall to remind everyone of this moment could be a valuable strategic move.

“We are the MIGHTY!” bellowed the captain, and the whole crew joined in with a deep-voiced cheer. Oscar climbed down to more approval than he’d gotten in the last month.

“Good work by our human here! Who knew you could do that?”

“That’s sure an efficient way to hunt!”

“We should bring you out every time. That was great.”

Oscar took the praise with pride, not bothering with modesty. That was just another word for weakness as far as these guys were concerned.

He managed to dodge when one of them made to slap him on the back with a large bloodstained hand, which just made them laugh more. Luckily the captain directed everybody to gather their kills for dragging back to the ship, rather than chasing the human and messing up his clothes.

Oscar took a position on the lowest branch of his tree, taking a couple more photos as the victorious hunters figured out how to get it all home. If anyone had asked Oscar, which they never would, he’d have suggested going back for a hovercart, or taking them one at a time. But of course they did neither.

Definitely the type to insist on carrying all the groceries in at once, Oscar thought as his crewmates strained to drag the giant carcasses through the undergrowth. He hopped down and kept pace out to the side where there was no blood on the leaves.

They finally made it back to the ship, doing nothing to clean up the smears of blood they left on the landing pad. Oscar darted off to his quarters as soon as the door opened. The rest of them could handle getting the birds into cryo storage, or chopped up right away, whichever they saw fit to do. The lowest-ranking one without significant injuries would be in charge of clearing the blood from the hallways, but only after they’d all taken a walk through the water-and-air blast chamber that passed for a shower here. It had always reminded Oscar of a car wash.

He kept to himself until dinner, sorting his photos while everyone else dealt with the catch and the mess and the injuries. The mechanical medsystem on this ship was just as efficient as the shower. They’d all be in decent shape by mealtime.

And mealtime after a successful hunt was also drinking time.

Oscar usually ate in his room, wanting nothing to do with the raucous meat-tearing and drunkenness. But today was different, because he’d learned something valuable about the liquid they were getting drunk off.

Oscar considered the cans he’d bought, then decided it would have more of an impact if he just took one of the communal supply. So instead he grabbed his new food cubes and a premade tin of spaghetti from his mini-cryo, and followed the sound of laughter.

They were already a little drunk when he got there. Sprawled across chairs with a table full of meat slabs spilling over the edges of the plates. And as expected, there were tall purple cans everywhere.

“Heyyyy, it’s the little guy! Let’s hear it for the human with the surprise talent! Maybe you’re not useless after all!”

“Thanks,” Oscar said as they pounded fists against anything in reach as a form of applause. He leaned against the open doorway and shuffled his belongings so he could get a fork in a meatball without setting down the food cubes. “That was pretty easy where I’m from. You guys really can’t do that?” He popped the meatball into his mouth, casual as you please.

The Mighty of course, thought this was funny, and took it in stride. More gulps from their drinks, more savage mouthfuls of food, and a few questions about the surely-excellent photos he’d gotten, which would make them all look amazing.

Oscar said he’d share the best ones. These would make fine decorations in their own quarters, and would probably be appreciated by the right paying audience.

Then came the moment he’d been waiting for. The captain raised his drink in another cheer, and somebody noticed that the human was the only one without a can in his hand.

“Get the human a warrior’s drink!”

“Bet you he passes out after one sip.”

“Nah, he can take at least two.”

Oscar smiled quietly. If they’d been paying attention, they might have changed their bets at that smile. He set his food down in the hallway to free his hands. When one muscular, taloned arm offered him a can of their most potent intoxicant, he took it. Oh so casually.

Then he whipped his head back and chugged the whole thing.

“Oh! Human’s gonna die!”

“I’m not cleaning up the puke!”

“What the supernova! There are better ways to go than that!”

“Somebody drag him to medical so we don’t have to find somebody else to do the boring stuff.”

“Yeah, he was just getting interesting.”

Oscar ignored all of them, giving the empty can a thoughtful look. It felt like the same thin aluminum he remembered from Earth. And if there was anything his cousins had taught him, it was the proper way to dispose of a beer can.

He dug his fingertips in and crushed it against his forehead. Then while the room reacted to that, he wiped off the drips and threw the can across the room. When it went into the trash on the first try, he was internally very glad, but he didn’t let it show. Instead he picked up his food and resumed eating. “What’s the big deal?” he said. “Is that what you guys have been getting drunk off? How quaint.”

“How in all the black holes—”

“No, he’s gonna fall over any second; just watch.”

“Quaint, that’s hilarious.”

“He’s totally bluffing. Just wait and see.”

Oscar was enjoying being the center of the crew’s attention today. He made a show of sweeping his eyes across the various cans in the room. “None of you has finished a can yet, I see. Was that supposed to be strong?”

There was widespread laughing and elbowing of each other, most of them still clearly convinced that the silly little human was going to throw up and die any second now.

So Oscar set down his food, walked over to the table, and chugged a second one. It was a bit more liquid than his stomach was really happy with, but that was a small price to pay for the uproar that followed.

They exclaimed; they renewed their bets; they drank from their own cans; they got visibly drunker and abandoned their bets.

Oscar leaned against the doorframe, eating spaghetti and food cubes.

After one particularly unsteady crewmate tripped onto the table full of meat, and someone pointed out that the human wasn’t wobbling at all, Oscar said, “You guys don’t know much about my species, do you? Half of what I eat would liquify your insides.” He held up a food cube, eyeing the different colored specks of all the ingredients that made it balanced for an omnivorous digestive system. He laughed. “You guys just eat meat. How boring!”

They only got drunker after that. Oscar was pretty sure that the nearest two wanted to pat him on the back, but the floor was moving too much for them to make it all the way to the doorway. Somebody offered him a raw slab of Dagger Bird. He turned it down with casual scorn.

“Nah, meat isn’t worth eating unless it’s passed through fire. That’s weakling meat you’ve got there. Get back to me when it’s cooked brown.”

They loved that. The party was an epic one, only winding down when most of the crew was too drunk to reach more drinks. Oscar demonstrated his steadiness by picking through the mess to drop his food containers in the trash, then move back to the door.

“Well, it’s been fun,” he said. “I’ll send in the med-drone to make sure nobody’s going to wake up dead. Let me know if you want to get your tails handed to you by any more Dagger Birds. I’ll call ‘em in close for you again.”

He got groggy approval to that.

Oscar left with a smile on his face, and a mild amount of caffeine in his blood. Maybe after stopping by the medcenter, he’d use that energy on some exercise. Thoughts of the run to the hunting grounds, and the way his crewmates had paced themselves, suggested that it wouldn’t take much practice for him to out-endurance the Mighty on the VR treadmill.

I wonder what else I can do?

~~~~~~~~~

By popular request, this is the sequel to the story I posted last week, which is part of the ongoing series of backstory for the main character in this book. (It started that way, at any rate, and turned into a sprawling series in its own right. Fun stuff.)

Patreon opens the day after tomorrow, on May 1st! There's a free tier and everything if you want to keep up without strings attached! And you can even request more delightful nonsense like this.

Onward!

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine becoming the beast pirate's espionage chief

Kaido: I know you don't trust him, but I can't and won't act against him while he's still useful to me.

You: I'm glad you said that, I've used most of my free time in the last month to gather proof. [hands Kaido an appropriate-sized folder] I found that Mister Bennington of Foodvalten did not exist until six years ago.

Kaido: [pulls out a pair of delicate reading glasses, puts them on, and thumbs through the folder]

You: His real name is Frank Jenkins, and he's sixty-eight. He was born in the Appaloosa archipelago, where he started his life of crime at six, swindling tourists. By age fourteen, he moved on to robbery, arson, and petty theft. However, by age twenty, Frank found his lifelong modiis operandi, scam, fraud, and grand theft. Frank posed as a rich entrepreneur and stole large amounts of money from a mining operation before disappearing. He did similar scams on Alabasta, Cactus Island, Jaya, Water 7, and Applenine Island.

Kaido: [closes the folder and hands it off to King] ... you are quite thorough, you even included Marine and local police reports from over forty years ago. How did you get a hold of these without leaving the island?

You: CP-0 and Dofflamingo

Kaido: I figured, but how did you get them to give these to you?

You: I called in favors with Dofflamingo, and performed a few sexual favors with CP-0.

King: Is that why I walked in on you jerking off one of those masked freaks?

You: yeah, and you calling them masked freaks is a bit like the pot calling the kettle black. Also, you don't have any room to judge me, Maria has told me all about your little trysts with her.

King: She's too much of a gossip, as are you, and I don't care about gossip.

You: so you don't want to know which of the tobiroppo brought pubic lice into the crew, and where they got it?

Kaido: Tell me who is the culprit, right this minute.

You: hmm, I dunno, what's in it for me?

Kaido: I won't kill you where you stand.

You: That threat only works on people who like living.

King: How about a promotion to espionage chief, your own quarters and bathroom here and on any of the ships, and a raise?

You: deal, it was Who's-Who, he got it fucking one of Big Mom's kids.

Kaido: I'll kill him! Those little bastards have been gnawing on my balls for weeks. [vigorously scratches his crotch]

You: And that's why I don't fuck my crewmates unless I benefit from it because y'all are nasty.

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