#caboose family headcanons

[marastriker]

Which Caboose (AV,CB,BV) would need therapy the most?

AV is fine. And set in his ways anyway, he probably wouldn't even think he needed it. (And also he's no longer around in my headcanon 😔)

I think in my headcanon CB needs it the most...he ran away and tried to forget every bad thing that happened to him and never sat down to process it. He already had some developmental trouble as a kid, and now, he just has trouble seeing reality the same way as an average train.

It's been hard for him to maintain relationships and jobs due to this issue - hopping yards and trying to convince everyone there that he is friendly and there to help. Even if that's not always how he feels.

I'm going to have CB and BV reunite at some point and I think Bee will encourage him to seek help - because BV is trying to be better, and he wants better for his brother too.

It might be a bit of a hassle, but.

[slyvester101]

The Reds and Blues are assholes, that much is known by anyone who gets the pleasure of getting to know them.

But there are moments when that mask of theirs falls, where the feelings they have for their teammates get pushed up for all to see. Because when you spend years with the same ten people, getting to know their quirks, their history, spending hour after hour, day after day, you kind of get attached.

So it makes sense that after all the time spent together, all the years they spent teasing and joking and sitting around with each other with no reprieve, that they'd get a little protective of each other from time to time.

There's been days where someone says something mean enough to make Caboose cry and suddenly they have Tucker and Grif roasting them into oblivion and threatening their entire family line. There's times when someone grabs Tucker a little too roughly and make him wince and suddenly Wash is at their shoulder yanking them away with a glare that could turn a man to stone. There's incidents where someone starts shoving Simmons around and Sarge cocks his shotgun and fires at their feet until they scatter away.

Yeah, they're assholes to each other. Yeah, they don't always get along. But when it counts, when it comes down to it, they're always gonna look out for each other.

[agentcaboose]

Mexican Caboose headcanons in no particular order:

Caboose is a great cook but he isn't allowed to use the stove, or oven, or microwave, or sometimes the fridge but somehow his cereal always tastes better

Has an insane spice tolerance, to the point where Grif and Simmons started sneaking ghost peppers into his food to see what would happen

He was a folklorico dancer in high school, and his muscle memory will take over when he hears the polka from the warthog

No Sabo kid: can understand slow (robot) Spanish but can't speak it, there were so many kids in his house, his parents gave up trying to teach them all

His family is from Albuquerque, NM but he moved to Massachusetts to attend Harvard, it was the coldest four years of his life

His 17 sisters aren't all blood related, some are adopted, some were fostered and kept in touch, and some are cousins his parents took guardianship over

He is the tallest in the family, his dad calls him a "mountain mexican"

He has a tiger blanket that Church and Tucker (and now Wash) constantly steal

Calls everyone Miss and Mister because it's rude to call higher ups by just their first name, even his older cousins he calls Cousin [name]

He has dark, thick, curly hair that gets out of hand under his helmet, it drives Tucker insane attempting to cut it

The J stands for Jerónimo

[tabooiart]

STEX APPRECIATION MONTH DAY 15: CB

Favorite Actor(s): Michael Staniforth, Micahel Ebborall, Hans Johansson, Jeremy Kocal, Oliver Rhoe Thornton

Favorite Song/Scenes: What scene of his don't I love. He's so cute in Freight I love seeing him interact with the others. There's Me is SO IMPORTANT as a moment for both him and Dinah. And then of course Wide Smile, High Style is one of the best songs in the entire show go white boy go.

Favorite Costume(s): 80s-90s toy soldier Caboose goes SO HARD and they got the proportions so good. Early London CB also has a huge place in my heart. The headphones, the radio belt, the silver pants........ banger.

Favorite Ships/Friendships: Fav ship is ofc Electraboose those freaks are made for each other. His bestest friend ever is Dinah and he's also close with Dustin and the freight in general!! I love the freight being a little family :)

Headcanons: CB was genuinely trying to help Electra win the race. He was originally helping Greaseball but decided to turn against him out of defensiveness of Dinah. The big crash was an accident as Rusty pulled into the lead and Greaseball got more aggressive.

Unpopular Opinion: If they ever bring CB back I don't want them to bring back toy soldier CB (as much as I adore him). I want them to bring back grimy little trucker CB. For fun.

[leanuponmybar]

so kayna's recent stories of her playing the wii during rolling stock got me thinking

Starlight Gaming Headcanons (these are compatible with any version of these characters)

Rusty has the Trainyard Wii. For the first few years he had it, it was in his shed which led to many a train coming to his room to play. There's been many a time where Rusty would get back from a long day of work and just see the Nationals or literally any other group. in his shed. playing his Wii.

After a bit of time passed, he was like "fuck it" so he moved it to the whatever the equivalent of a living room/common area is in the yard

Rusty loves Pokemon. Control's dad got him into the first generation and has been hooked ever since. Pearl likes it too but mainly likes it since she likes the designs of the pokemon. Her favorite pokemon is Eevee.

Him and pearl go on pokemon dates together where they go out on the rails, find different spots on the railroad line, and try and find all the pokemon they can on pokemon go. It's precious

Besides pokemon for the cute desgins, she's a Mario Kart/Wii Sports F I E N D. She either mains Luigi or Bowser so she can be tall and scary. If you go against her, be prepared. She's oddly competitive

99.9% of the time, Dinah likes games such as cooking mama, sims, and disney dreamlight valley but when she's pissed, she mainly plays Mortal Kombat and pictures the opponents as whoever she's mad at

Dustin likes FNAF and knows a little too much about the lore. He watches Game Theory religiously

Flat Top, being the living shitpost that he is, likes shitposty games like Zelda Cdi. He mainly plays Call of Duty to laugh at the name and to roast whoever's in the lobby with him. He likes making incels and children cry.

Joule loved Minecraft. Full Stop. She's really the only Gamer within the components

To calm down after a long day of being The Sane One in the Yard, Wrench likes to play Animal Crossing

Buffy likes Sonic underground only because the theme song slap

ashley likes the Oregon trail just to give her pc families shitty names and to give them dysentary

gb and the nationals love just dance and the sims but they say they like gta, madden, and COD to keep up with the reputation. They know all the kpop and Rasputin choreos by heart

Buffy likes Sonic Underground only because the theme song is fire and Sonic Boom because the show's insane and on crack

The coaches each have their own Animal Crossing Islands and they go to each other's islands all the time

Dinah likes to listen to Video game soundtracks as she's cooking. The Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort, and Animal Crossing soundtracks have a special place in her heart

You would think Papa/Mama likes chill games like Pong and Tetris, but when they're alone, they yippy those kayees in Red Dead Redemption

every so often, like once a month or so, the entire yard gets together to have a Mario Kart and Smash tournament. they call it "Race Night but No One Gets Hurt". The hosts are Wrench and Dustin since s o m e o n e has to host this chaos thats s a n e

one of the rules is that Caboose has lost controller privileges. for obvious reasons

here's some kayna!pearl reaction images that are gems

feel free to put any other ideas in the tags/comments!

[femmepeterparker]

well, since you've been getting shitty anons, here I am asking what your favorite trans!tucker headcanons are :}

aww thank u

buckle up bc i have quite a fewww

-picked a family name. its regal

-no op. idk it just feels right for tucker. i feel like he'd say some shit like "im too well endowed"/"im obviously gods favorite look at my body"

-never wanted kids so junior is a huge bump in the road for him. always saw himself as a bachelor for life and now he has a kid (who he loves, he loves junior) and sometimes he wonders what life would have been like without junior

-unfortunately junior's conception is still. nonconsensual. jokes about tucker fucking aliens are funny but he seems so genuinely confused and upset in canon upon learning of his pregnancy so i dont really think that changes

-sanghelli pregnancies are shorter than humans but not that much shorter. he's pregnant for a good couple months before having junior.

-doc performs the c section. it is a goddamn miracle that both junior and tucker survive

-post pregnancy tucker develops glowing symbols and markings along his skin. the c section scar and his stretch marks glow too

-sometimes when tucker is emotional, his eyes will glow teal. it scares caboose

-junior and the c section absolutely ruined his uterus and tucker is lowkey thrilled about it. he considers it a diy hystorectomy

-everyone knows except wash??? like, they dont clock tucker they just know hes trans mainly bc of junior, but wash... just doesnt put two and two together until tucker tells him

-speaking of wash. he is demisexual and lowkey not very interested in sex but tucker is super into him so hes like. a service top. theyre kinda messy. its okay tho

-tucker learns sanghelli somewhere between seasons 4 and 6

-junior comes with him to iris

-wash isnt the step dad, hes the dad who stepped up

ask me more about him i love him

[cosmic-hoboandthehighlander]

Caboose’s Tedmort Headcanons

part one

Teddy really likes Mort’s mom. They get along extremely well and their favorite pastime is to make fun of Mort (and Mort secretly loves it)

Teddy sleeps on the left side of the bed; Mort on the right

Teddy wakes up early, like before the sun early. He likes to have an early start to his day, even on weekends. Especially on Sundays. He gets up and makes coffee and watches the sunrise while he reads the paper or watches the news.

Mort likes to sleep in. He's a real bear when woken up before he’s ready. Especially on weekends he likes to sleep in and is very disappointed when he wakes up to see Teddy already out of bed.

Sometimes Teddy stays there with Mort or comes back before Mort ever wakes up so they can snuggle together before Mort starts his day.

They talk during movies. It’s sooooo annoying and nobody ever wants to watch anything with them. It's usually comments about what’s happening on screen, about the actors, or teasing each other for getting scared at jump scares.

They love to watch horror movies like Scream, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, etc. It is their favorite genre of movie to watch together. Teddy always gets scared but he enjoys being able to cuddle up with Mort when he does. So much so that sometimes he plays up his fear and makes it dramatic just for Mort.

They have lunch together once a week at Bob’s Burgers. Teddy goes nearly every day but Mort makes it a point to go with him at least once.

Teddy is not scared of Mort’s crematorium per say, but he does not exactly like going down into the basement. He prefers to stay upstairs when he visits Mort.

Teddy calls Mort sweetheart.

Mort is the only one who calls him Ted (that Teddy doesn’t mind calling him Ted)

Teddy and Mort’s favorite place is the beach. It’s very meaningful for their relationship and it’s a place they like to go to calm down and recharge.

Mort buys Teddy a new radio for his truck one year for his birthday; he stands by and holds the flashlight when Teddy installs it.

While Teddy is Bob’s best friend, Mort is Linda’s. (Basically when they all get together, Mort spends most of his time with Linda and Teddy with Bob. It’s nothing serious, they all love each other equally anyway, like one big family!)

They’ve known each other for a very long time. Around 15-20 years (so sue me, I’m not sure on the exact dates 😅)

Even though it might not seem like it sometimes, they are each other’s very best friends. They are together more often than not, always go to events together, and it has always been this way. Not a single person was surprised to find out they were dating.

[thebunnylord]

Do you have any soft headcanon’s?

Let’s see… I’m not too sure what the term soft headcanon means, but I think I might have a few…

.so after watching a video about Gordon’s family tree and finding out that Ryan and Gordon have the same builder which would technically make them family. After Ryan and Gordon find out that they are technically distant cousins because they have the same builder, they try to reconnect and treat each other as family, which turned out to be much harder to do, basically Ryan is this distant cousin that no one knew about until the family reunion. Hilarity ensues.

.in my ttte human AU, Annie and Clarabel sometimes invite the others for brunch, of course who can say no to free food. They make arguably the best pancakes on the island.

.Diesel in my human AU often goes to the pond to feed the ducks, Duck also likes to go to the same pond and feed the ducks. This is where all softness ends.

.Cranky in the regular TTTE AU has a “pet” seagull that he “raised from an egg”. One of the seagulls made a nest on top of him and laid an egg, that seagull just comes and goes and is a wild seagull that needs to eat half of Cranky’s operator’s sandwich or else it will dive bomb him, and Cranky will refuse to work until the seagull is properly fed.

.Thomas often mentors Philip and teaches him the same things that Edward taught him when he was young. Philip was sent to Wellsworth for a while to get more familiar with trucks before going back to Knapford. Philip also had taken a liking to Toby.

.Philip was originally from Pennsylvania and used to have an American accent but lost it when he came to the island. He still sometimes uses American terms such as “cars”, “caboose”, and “engineer”. He and Caitlin who was also from America often talk to each other in their native accents and help each other get adjusted to life in a different country. Philip has yet to win a race with Caitlin.

That’s all I can think of right now… I think I do have a few soft headcanons for my OCs, but I don’t think those would classify as a headcanon since they are my characters if you get what I mean.

[cswagzx]

i will be posting my personal red vs blue headcanons :3

Red Team

Sarge: I personally think he’s mixed with white and native american, and based off of the scrips that were never meant to be, he’s also Bisexual with no preference.

Simmons: this is like a collective thing within the fandom but i think he’s a red head with blue eyes and freckles, and my little headcanon is that he’s gay and trans :3

Grif: Native Hawaiian with the most long and luscious curly hair you’ve ever seen, hazel eyes, and scruffy facial hair that’s just unkept.

Donut: gay little white boy who dyes his hair bleach blonde, green eyes and asexual.

Grif and Simmons are dating. we all know this. they just do long distance and see each other on holidays.

Blue Team

Church: Korean american, dark brown eyes, closeted bisexual with a women pref.

Caboose: Mexican native american, tan skin, blue eyes, scruffy black hair, and he’s aroace.

tucker: extreme hypersexual, bi with women pref but his dumbass is dating wash.

tex: white. strawberry blonde hair (she’s got a lot of red heads in her family), green eyes, and she 100% has a tongue and eyebrow piercing. she’s also straight.

Sister: pretty much identical to grif, only differences are that her eyes are brown, she has freckles, and she’s got hella blonde highlights in her hair.

Carolina: i know that carolina and york were sort of canon but i just think that she’s a lesbian.

Wash: Bi with a male pref, still dyes his hair blonde (donut helps), his roots are brown because he likes the blonde+brown combo, his eyes were blue but slowly faded to grey over time, heavy eyebags and an unkept beard due to stress (again, donut helps with it)

Doc: Black!!! that man is black!!! wears glasses, has dreads, and a few beauty moles on his face, he’s also gay and dating donut because why not.

[publicenemycb]

( adding to the “headcanons” bit though that’s just stuff about me )

I hate being called “Caboose” / “Red Caboose”

I’m hard of hearing and have hearing aids (already stated in my host’s post above!) (this isn’t what the body has for clarification but what I had in my past life + in headspace)

I’m close with the components. Especially Purse

I’m transfem ! Though I really don’t care how I’m addressed and I present more masculine cause I can and I like to

I have horrific anxiety and paranoia. Also abandonment issues.

I consider the freight to be my family, and I am extremely close with Belle

I tended to fall apart before being repaired/converted after the championships. I don’t fall apart anymore gladly though I do have chronic pain

I am not on good terms with Electra though I am on good terms with Greaseball. I consider me and GB to be friends in my past..

CB Appreciation DAY

I haven’t done this for anytrain worse but I owe it to do today’s for CB!!

Favorite Actors: Daniel Ellison, Hans Johansson

Favorite Songs/Scenes: All of them. I just adore him. But particularly I love his interactions with the other rolling stock as well as his songs

Favorite Costumes: The more recent pre-2018 one is my favorite! (Though I really love them all)

Favorite Ships: RustedCaboose !! (Also CB x GB (idk about ship names for them though) CB x Purse is also cute!

Headcanons: Oh boy do I have so many but I’ll share my main one which is that has hearing aids, two prosthetic legs, and chronic pain post-downhill race-crash

Unpopular Opinion: I don’t exactly know if I have one honestly…

[marastriker]

BV Backstory/Lore Dump

Yes I will eventually write fics to go with the Backstory series I have going on ao3.....give me time 😭

[slyvester101]

ur tuckington posts are so cute, how do u think wash would be with junior? i think he'd be so stressed over trying to get junior to like him

Ooh, yes. I love thinking about how Junior comes into play in Tuckington.

Tucker has definitely bragged about Junior to Wash before, talking about how smart and awesome his kid is so Wash knows about him and knows how important he is to Tucker so once they start dating, he definitely stresses over whether or not Junior will like him. 

I also think it’d be funny if Wash didn’t know Junior was an alien until like, right before they met because Tucker is one hundred percent an unreliable narrator and forgot to tell Wash about how he gave birth to the now seven foot ten-year-old half Sangeheili after being selected to fulfill some aliens’ prophecy. 

Wash had many questions. 

Other than that, I think Wash is pretty good with Junior. I like the headcanon that Wash has sisters (he is definitely a middle child and you can fight me on that) so he knows how to work with kids and while he’s unpracticed and a little clumsy and maybe a bit confused (“how does human child rearing translate into alien child rearing?”), he’s got spirit and he gets attached to this kid very quickly.

Junior also likes Wash, mainly because he’s one of the few people he can actually play-wrestle with, aside from Caboose of course, but also because he’s nice and didn’t try to shoot or kill Junior when they first met and he’s good to his dad and he gets Junior some of the best snacks ever— (The list goes on for a while).

Tucker damn near proposed when he saw how soft Wash got with his kid. It doesn’t help that Junior will call Wash a secondary parental term in Sangheili that only Tucker understands. Wash is very touched when he finds out, the sap.

But yeah, they’re a happy family and this is totally canon and not just my wishful thinking. Thanks for asking

[applied-juice]

Hello Mr. Strider, what are you thoughts about the one and only Jake fucking English?

why are u calling me strider. anyway

do I like them: very much so, hes v interesting

5 good qualities: kind, supportive, isnt afraid to stand up for his friends, witty, and his love for guns is amusing lol

3 bad qualities: non confrontational, willfully ignorant, kinda selfish

favourite episode/etc: the entire flashback with him and brain ghost dirk lol

otp: dirkjake

brotp: jake and his prospit family, and roxy

ot3: dirkjakehal.....ahaha

notp: dont have one (i think)

best quote: "im laughing my caboose straight off the track" cant forget

headcanon: he sleeps naked

also a doodle

[agentcaboose]

OMG I forgot about his like 17 sisters! which is soooo mexican family coded

ALSO his name is michael and all the most iconic mexican characters are named michael (or at least start with an M)

I'm going to make mexican caboose headcanons post soon

hello and welcome to caboose forgot he's mexican

caboose at his most coherent in season 1 says his dad says "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free": that's just machismo

The men in my family are very emotional and hug all the time,, this is also a trait in caboose

"walks off" his injuries,, like falling off a cliff (my dad will not go to the doctor even if he lost an arm)

treats dogs like babies (even if they aren't actually dogs)

he's been able to understand Lopez (the entire time ???)

fanart tends to depict him with tanner skin or at least tanner skin than church and wash

also his counterpart in the other simulation troopers was literally name loco

I am mexican and caboose is my favorite character

anyway, caboose got so much brain damage he forgot he knows spanish and is in fact mexican

[sharkface-daydreams]

rvb cooking headcanons because i love food and cooking and I know some of these people can burn water just by thinking about it (affectionate)

Blue Team:

Church (alpha): basic skills. can make easy mac and has definitely hacked together ketchup and hot sauce to make fake bbq sauce when they ran out like any frat boy worth at least half his salt. however baking mystifies him.

Tucker: almost the same boat as alpha, but I like to think he tried to learn to make a few things because of Junior. maybe some sangheili and human ‘kid’ foods like whatever their equivalent of mac and cheese is.

Caboose: the stove spontaneously combusts in self defence when he’s reaching for it. he’s very good at setting the table and pouring juice though. When left to his own devices (leftovers) he’ll do awful things like put maple syrup on his mac and cheese... and enjoy it.

Tex: makes church and tucker cook for her, not that she needs to eat, but because she likes to sit at the table or counter and heckle them about their lackluster cooking skills and watch them suffer

Kai: she could probably be good at cooking if she wanted to, but that’s a lot of effort, and why do that when you can use your good looks and charms to get stupid guys to buy you fancy dinners and champagne?

Wash: listen. I know this guy is white as fuck. I grew up with white as fuck family. I know exactly how this man cooks. It’s bland. It’s by the book. He underuses salt and sneezes every time he smells pepper. He’s capable of pasta, weird underseasoned casseroles with not enough sauce, and a select handful of crockpot recipes that are either really good, or really weird, or both.

Red Team

Sarge: he knows how to work a grill, and knows how to cook meat, eggs, and grits, and operate the fancy coffee machine he installed in Lopez, and that’s where it stops. Gets mad if you say you don’t like grits, and will make you sit and eat it until it’s gone.

Simmons: Thinks he can cook. He’s had to make his own vegan meals for a long time because no one else will actually substitute meat and animal ingredients. But that doesn’t mean he’s great. Most of his vegetable substitutions are approximations and his black bean burgers always turn out dry. He has been able to trick Grif into eating and enjoying vegan snacks, but only to turn around and laugh and tell Grif what he’s actually eating. Because the fun is in getting to see Grif’s angry face afterwards.

Grif: Knows how to cook, and cook well, but can rarely be arsed to put it to practice. One of those people who genuinely enjoys reading cookbooks. He’s pretty creative and scrappy, having had to make sure he and Kai ate alright as kids while their mom was doing whatever it was that wasn’t looking after them. Probably knows the recipes to various carnival/circus foods like funnel cake and deep-fried anything. He and Kai can spin up cotton candy into fancy shapes like nobody’s business.

Donut: Not so great at cooking, but is a whiz at baking. When he deigns to bake, the results are eagerly scooped up by Reds and Blues alike, sometimes resulting in ridiculous heists to get at them before the other team can. He cannot for the life of him make donuts, though. They always come out rough, with tiny holes that are overstuffed with glaze. Sarge seems to enjoy them, though.

Lopez: Hates the very notion of human food and digestion, and is resentful that his body houses not only Sarge’s overclocked coffee machine, but also a temperature-controlled snack storage accessed at his hiney. He has access, as a robot, to the entire internet’s worth of recipes and theoretically could cook some incredible things. But he will not. He refuses. The day he does anything nice for these assholes willingly is the day they’ll have to cart him off to the scrapyard.

Carolina: She can microwave water for tea and coffee, but has screwed up easy mac before. Has some memories of cooking with her dad at a very young age, and remembers the recipe to the dish they always had whenever Allison returned from deployment.

Asshole day at the skittle factory:

Dr. Leonard Church: Probably did most of the cooking. Allison was deployed a lot especially with the war starting. Let Lina do little things to help like stir cold things or count out ingredients for him before she was old enough to work with the stove etc.

Aiden Price: In general I can’t see this man ingesting anything except extremely fancy tea. I tried to imagine him having a burger and the fucker showed up with a fork and knife to slice it up. But if I had to consider whether he knows how to cook for himself, I think he’d put enough effort and research into it to ensure enough nutrients, and possibly would insist on cooking for himself to ensure he wasn’t being poisoned.

Agent York: Overzealous, insists he knows what he’s doing, consistently sets things on fire. Can whip up a mean cocktail though.

Connecticut: Same boat. Burns things but at least she has the cojones to admit she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Pretty good at cutting up fruit and veg for snacks though. Charcuterie/stuff plate queen.

South Dakota: hates cooking mostly because she was expected to learn as the ‘girl’ of the family. She retained the basic mechanics of cooking like meat and pasta and oiling a pan so things don’t stick, but won’t volunteer and will probably fight you if you ask her to cook. Prefers doing stuff plate nights with CT.

North Dakota: He knows how to work a coffee maker and do microwave popcorn.

Wyoming: Can bake, but will only do so to make things to eat for teatime. Everything's always more than a bit dry. He defends this by insisting it's supposed to be eaten while drinking tea to moisten it.

Florida: Average level of cooking and baking competence, but has a fondness for strange and unnerving culinary experiments he attempts to get the others to test. Most people know better than to try these horrors.

Maine: Likes meat and carbs, and generally doesn’t make anything else. Not real big on seasoning or flavor either. Better with a grill than a pan on a burner.

Iowa: Ovens fear him. They explode in self-defense when he nears.

Idaho: One of those people that reads cookbooks for fun. Has a “Recipes from the Forgotten Realms” cookbook. Isn’t always successful, but the results are usually interesting. Edible, at least.

Ohio: Stacks her PBJ sandwiches with a half inch of peanut butter. Occasionally adds bananas. The rest of the kitchen might as well be Sangheilios.

Doc: Has tried to learn how to cook via lessons and tutorials and memorize a few recipes but he usually remembers them wrong, sets the wrong temperature or time, stuff like that. Donut’s tried to tutor him but he’s just kinda hopeless. Offered to trade vegan recipes with Simmons but Simmons was like ‘nah.’ (O’Malley is only interested in making poisoned food.)

Extra Colorful Morons:

Locus: knows how to cook, finds preparing ingredients and following recipes to be relaxing. Is extremely particular about how his kitchen is arranged. Leads to a lot of arguments in red team kitchen

Felix: Felix? Cooking? Can u imagine. He knows how to microwave coffee and maybe slap a sandwich together. Either wheedles someone else (Locus) into cooking for him, or gets food pre-made from somewhere.

Sharkface: You didn’t think all that fire was just for show, did you? Fire’s a kitchen’s best friend. Spent some time job hopping after the Freelancers crushed him, some of these being dishwashing and line cook jobs, whatever was needed to pay bills. There’s something very satisfying about roasting food over an open flame grill.

Siris: Can cook some things, mostly things his wife likes and family recipes handed down. Not particularly skilled but what he cooks is made with love.

Doyle: This man screws up tea when it’s a mug of hot water and a teabag. Useless. (affectionately frustrated)

Kimball: Knows how to make a desperation stew out of snared game and local root veg. After so long in a civil war has to be reintroduced to the concept of enjoying food for flavor.

Dr. Grey: She’s one of those people who drink brightly colored drinks out of lab beakers like other people use a mug. Highly unnerving to anyone who visits her office. She knows how to cook of course, but what’s the fun of doing things by the book? Don’t eat anything she offers you. ANYTHING. Especially if she’s got that studious glint in her eyes like she’s going to document every little twitch of expression you make as you eat.

[leonardalphachurch]

sarge rvb

anon i’m so sorry you asked me about a guy i have so little opinions about

First impression

uh. this is actually hard for me to answer bc do you mean like… my first impression or like. the body’s? bc i don’t remember what the fuck host at the time thought and my first impression was uh. well i came preloaded with impressions. i guess i can answer from a fictive perspective? in that case it was “holy fuck that guy seems like a hard ass i’m so glad he’s not our co”

Impression now

stop fuckin resetting his characterization oh my god. WHY did miles feel the need to make him hate the blues again in season 11. so fucking dumb. he had his character arc man he was PERFECT in season 8 you don’t have to have him keep learning this lesson.

Favorite moment

gotta be the season 8 monologue. sarge is objectively hilarious but none of his jokes really leave any impact on me

Idea for a story

uh we have that one with his bastard daughter… besides that just like, a character study piece exploring his struggle with idolizing war but also knowing how horrible it is. and how what he REALLY wants is the companionship that war brought with his men but the toxic masculinity and military industrial complex has made him incapable of expressing that through anything but violence

Unpopular opinion

he’s not red teams dad. he could’ve been if his character hadn’t reset in 11 but it did and now he’s way too fucked to actually take on any father figure role

Favorite relationship

probably him and caboose. caboose is so genuine with his emotions it runs off on sarge and he’s the only person he can actually express affection for.

Favorite headcanon

uuuhhhh??? oh that sarge had a family that all died bc of the war. he was already in the army at this point and never got to say goodbye to any of them.

guess i had more to say about him than i thought. still probably the most i’ve thought about sarge all year tho lmao