#cabin kool kid

[alsfunkyalbum]

Bird Leo's costume for the current TMNT Family Reunion Event (Which is fashion show :3)

It's based off a peacock

(idk if it counts but I'm tagging anyways @tmnt-fandom-family-reunion )

[bright-eyes-strawberry-lies]

"Grandpa Kronos" “Cousin Ares”

Rick had a chance to slide the incest under the rug for the show but he's like "let's remind everyone that ALL THE DEMIGODS AND GODS ARE BLOOD RELATED."

[lale-txt]

🌙 waking up at night without you by their side ↳ w/ Kid, Rayleigh, Denjiro & Yamato

a/n: another draft that's been sitting here since forever. in the light you go!! love me some lighthearted fluff. slightly suggestive + poly mention for Rayleigh (i feel like i'm putting this ALWAYS when writing Rayleigh omg) also sending kisses to all my anons swooning over Yamato. i know i don't write him that much but wanted to include him here for you ♡ i always love reading about your undying love for him, it's the purest thing.

Kid 

how dare you leave his side while he’s sleeping

don’t you know about your big spoon duties which involve holding him tenderly from behind, rubbing his back and making sure your arms are constantly wrapped around him all the time? 

Kid huffs when he wakes up with his back cold and your side of the bed empty

were you going for a midnight snack without him? didn’t you know that he was also craving shredded cheese at 3am? was your relationship a lie the whole time? 

no he’s not being dramatic why do you ask

or did you miss a step of your skin care routine and went back to the bathroom to do it again? he told you countless times that it didn’t work that way…

he throws back the covers and gets up, his red hair a mess and barely held together by the cat ear hairband you once gifted him 

Kid’s first instinct when he’s in trouble is to consult Killer so they can be in trouble together, so naturally he stomps down the hall to Killer’s cabin and doesn’t bother knocking, just bursts in like the Kool Aid man 

he lets out a surprised gasp when Killer isn’t sleeping peacefully in his bed but playing cards with you, Heat and Wire – very wide awake 

before Kid’s face can turn the color of his hair, you already kick out a chair for the tulip and gesture him to sit his ass down so you can explain

“see… on the last island when we stocked up on supplies Killer didn’t buy decaf coffee like ne normally does but regular… and since everyone but you drinks coffee–” “because it’s BAD for your skin, but no one ever listens to me” “–all of us have just been unable to fall asleep.”

Kid rolls his eyes and continues huffing, but also pulls you in his lap and wrap his arm around you, falling asleep with his head resting against yours as you continue your game

but no more coffee for you after 2pm, decaf or not. the big spoon rule book got updated, you gotta keep up duh

Rayleigh

even in his sleep Rayleigh reaches for you, wanting to hug you close to him, only content when he can nuzzle his face in the back of your neck

so when his hand pats into empty space, he’s suddenly awake, mumbling out your name into the dark 

first thing he does is turn on the light on the nightstand and reach for his glasses because he can’t see shit without them

still fighting off sleep, he takes a moment to reconstruct last night, smiling over it. no, you definitely fell asleep in his arms after you both finished… several times

actually he could go another round now that he was awake, but someone was missing…

it’s when he hears muffled voices coming from downstairs that he calls out your name again, louder this time

“we’re in the kitchen!”

we? … oh

with his observation haki never failing him, Rayleigh realizes within a heartbeat now what is going on

following your laughter he finds you in the kitchen… accompanied by a very familiar face

“Ray, I must say your taste is exquisite as always…”

Shakky cups your face, a cigarette dangling from her lips, as she beams at her husband leaning in the doorframe

“i think I’m in love with your wife”, you sigh dreamily, melting under her touch and gazing up to her with puppy eyes, completely encharmed by her 

Rayleigh ruffles his white hair and just smirks. he was about to introduce you anyway, so this makes things much easier now

he comes closer and places kisses on both of your cheeks. this night just got so much more interesting… 

Denjiro

Denjiro is always a little sleepy and would pass out within a heartbeat wherever and whenever, but preferably with you by his side, pulling you close even in his sleep

so why were his arms empty right now?

long blue hair is spilled all over the futons and usually by now you would complain because you’re getting tangled up in it 

rubbing his eyes he sits up, he murmurs out your name into the dim light of your shared room 

Denjiro isn’t too worried, he knows what you’re capable off, otherwise the yakuza boss wouldn’t have married you. he twists the golden band on his ring finger absentmindedly as he’s slowly forcing himself to wake up properly

it’s when he notices the gentle breeze coming through the open sliding door leading to the veranda and he immediately knows where to look for you

throwing the blanket over his shoulders he gets up, already making out your silhouette in the milky moonlight as you sit there huddled up, looking over your shoulder when you hear his footsteps approaching

“Den… you gotta see this…” 

your excited whisper and gestures to keep quiet had him curious, but more than that he was just happy to see you smiling

Denjiro sits down behind you and pulls you in his lap, wrapping his big arms and the blanket around you and kissing the side of your neck. you’re cold but feel warmth tingling in your limbs immediately under his touch

“what is it, little moonshine?”, he whispers and rests his chin on top of your head. you almost disappear in his embrace due the size difference and wiggle yourself in a comfortable position, the tip of your nose and your curious eyes peeking out from the blanket 

“snow bunnies”, you say softly and point to the garden where a pair of white bunnies frolic around in the falling snow, almost invisible for the eyes

Denjiro smiles and leans down to kiss you again. love is stored in the little things, you taught him that. and soon he falls asleep again, holding you tightly as he drifts into dreams of you, but none sweeter than the reality he gets to live with you

Yamato

personal space? not in this house 

Yamato usually sleeps sprawled out like a starfish and rotates in his sleep like a beyblade

but it’s fine because you adjusted to that! nothing can stop you from cuddling your big golden retriever boyfriend in his sleep

so when he wakes up at night and doesn’t feel your familiar weight on top of him it just sends him into straight up panic

in an attempt to turn the lights on he gets tangled up in the sheets and stumbles, taking down the lamp and everything else on the nightstand with him 

he’s calling out your name and trying not to cry on the spot

did you have a bad dream and he didn’t notice? were you somewhere crying on your own? his heart couldn’t take the thought of it. 

this was even worse than the one time he lost you at the supermarket in the candy aisle and he had to make an announcement over speaker which was mostly him sobbing into the microphone

his brain still lagging from the sleepiness and shock, Yamato doesn’t notice how you squat down next to him, picking off various nightstand items (tissues, crystals, harness…) off him 

“Yams, just what are you doing down there? were you sleepwalking? i knew this would become an issue one day…”

cut to Yamato sobbing in your arms because for three hot minutes he thought he had lost you forever 

which is when you kindly explain him that nature called and you only went to the bathroom but would have returned into his arms straight away

however you can never hold back tears as well when you see Yamato crying and now you’re both on the floor sobbing as you hold each other tenderly 

only when he kisses away the salty streaks you both calm down a little and can laugh about the situation

ever since you leave a little note out when you have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and make sure to snuggle extra close to him once you return, making Yamato smile even in his sleep

[tmnt-fandom-family-reunion]

Welcome to the TMNT Fandom Family Reunion!!

This is a tmnt fandom event made to bring the fandom closer together! It isn't a comp, though there are some competitive aspects for you daredevils or there!

Here is our current event schedule:

(Note: The event ends September 8th!)

Campfire stories

Craft day (Mikey Themed Event)

Science Fair (Donnie Themed Event)

Raph Themed Event

Leo Themed Event

Mysterious event (yellow 😔)

Farewell Event (😭💔)

♡ - Start of a new event, announcement of winners of the last event      ✰ - Fun magmas / Gartic phones / other events will happen on these days!

(Cabin names and other helpful info is under the cut!)

Here are all cabin numbers and names:

Cabin One: Arsonist Army

Cabin Two: Baby Cult

Cabin Three: (Not Named)

Cabin Four: Haunted Past, Hopeful Future

Cabin Five: Beholders of Angst

Cabin Six: (Not Named)

Cabin Seven: Seven Wonders of the Turtleverse

Cabin Eight: Oozma Kappa

Cabin Nine: Cabin Kool Kids

Cabin Ten: The Besties

Cabin Eleven: Genius Built Cabin

Cabin Twelve: The Ourples

Cabin Thirteen: The Winners!

Cabin Fourteen: Krang Corps

Cabin Fifteen: Fire Nation

Cabin Sixteen: Mystery Cabin

How Do Points/Representatives work?

Who Are The Current Representatives?

What Cabin am I in? What cabin is @______ in?

Camp Fire Event Winners

Craft Fair Event Winners

Science Fair Event Winners

Sports Day Event Winners

Fashion Show Event Winners

[stephofromcabin12]

I didn’t know that canonically Dionysus sometimes gets loose and presumably that’s when he has his kids. I always read it as his exile to camp was relatively “recent” in terms of him probably having been grounded in the like. Last few years before the story picks up. I had always assumed his current kids were born before that and so that also helps account for their low numbers (before Rick specified his stance on two being the best number of children or whatever that quote was from TOA)

Well, like most things we learn about Mr D in the books, it’s pretty subtle and mentioned like twice (bc Rick loves to torture me by adding lore and then not developing it further)

Before we look at that, we have to establish that, yes, his punishment seems to be recent. He’s given 100 years to be at camp, and in TLO he explains to Percy that Zeus cut his probation in half, leaving him with 50 years. Which would mean he had just begun his sentence in The Lightning Thief.

“[…] Zeus has cut my probation at that miserable camp in half. I now have only fifty years left instead of one hundred.” (The Last Olympian, p. 343)

But even so, there are a couple of ways he could have snuck out and had some kids.

Firstly, there’s the fact that the gods can be in multiple places at once, as explained by the wine dude himself in The Last Olympian:

“Your concern is touching. I did crash-land. Very painfully. {note: The gods feel pain…Interesting} In fact, part of me is still buried under a hundred feet of rubble in an abandoned coal mine. It will be several more hours before I have the strength to mend. But in the meantime, part of my conciousness is here […] Wherever there is a party, my prescence is invoked. Because of this, I can exist in many different places at once […]”

(The last Olympian, p. 266)

If we assume that gods at their full strength can exist more physically in multiple places, by dividing their “essence” or whatever, we can assume Dionysus would be able to sneak out by being present— seemingly automatically— wherever a party is happening.

It’s pretty much assumed (by me, I don’t think anyone else thinks about his exact whereabouts as much as I do lol) that he does this, or something else, because he is not gone very long in BOTL and TLO, and yet, in The Blood of Olympus, Dakota is seen talking to multiple Dionysus kids, which shouldn’t be possible, since yk. Pollux is the only camper (and should be in college by now but whatever, maybe he came back anyway or took a gap year, who knows) and even if he did take advantage of being away from camp in BOTL and TLO, his kids would be like, 2-3 at most and therefore not old enough to fight (I would certainly hope, although toddlers turning their enemies frantic and crazed is kinda metal ngl) So he must have had more kids before that….Or Rick forgot he killed Castor, which is hilariously possible.

“[…] Dakota shared Kool-Aid with the kids from the Dionysus cabin […]” (The Blood Of Olympus, p. 474)

(Stephanie Olive Overbaum canon confirmed. Its the only possible explanation lmao. If you have a Dio kid OC, you can’t prove they weren’t there. Huge win for the cabin 12 kids lmao)

So, he probably didn’t take advantage of his time away, if he did we wouldn’t know for another couple books, and Rick seems to have lost interest in ever elaborating on his character so we’ll probably never know.

Besides the splitting himself up theory, we have the possibility of him simply leaving lol.

He’s stuck at camp, yes, but the interesting thing is that he seems to be barred from entering Olympus, not so much that he’s barred from going anywhere else. He does leave camp in The Titan’s curse, seemingly without issues. Again, he could have split himself up, but since he’s able to make vines grow and all that, I’m assuming he was physically present. And he mentions paperwork in The Lightning Thief, if I remember correctly, so we can assume he has to file a report everytime he leaves his station to make sure he had a good enough reason to leave (Like a camper sneaking out, for example)

I don’t know how he would get around that one, but he’s sneaky, so I wouldn’t put it past him to sneak out and pretend to be doing something more important.

Of course, there are lines here and there suggesting he does leave every so often.

Ahem:

“As for Seymour, Mr D liberated him from a long island garage sale […]” (The Lost Hero, p. 88)

He couldn’t really have gone to a garage sale without leaving, again, yes he could have split himself up but that’s so easy and boring so I prefer to think he just fucks off and takes a day off here and there. It is a Long Island garage sale, so it’s not like he went far. Even funnier, we can imagine the camp went on another field trip and he came along, finding the garage sale along the way.

“[…] Our camp director, Dionysus, was recalled […]” (The Lost Hero, p. 20)

Ah yes, the recalled era. In HOO Mr D is not present, having been recalled to Olympus.

Technically, we don’t know where Mr D went in the time he was recalled, since we don’t know how exactly that period of time worked for the gods. We know they had no means of communicating, and that Zeus forbid the gods from seeking out their kids.

Even so, Aphrodite sneaks out and meets up with Piper. Athena/Minerva is out and about. Lots of the gods don’t hang around on Olympus the entire time. We’ve established Mr D is A. Sneaky (sneaks up on Percy more than once) and B. Doesn’t give any fucks that Zeus has told him to stay at camp (Garage sale) so I don’t think it’s unfair to assume he dipped and shrugged to Zeus like “I can’t help that I go where parties to🤷🏻‍♂️”

“Yeah but the gods had the headache thing going on, so he probably didn’t want to go anywhere”

I hear you say and you’re right BUT!

In between The Blood Of Olympus and The Tower Of Nero, we have zero clue where Dionysus is, and what he’s up to. Like nothing. We don’t even talk about it. He’s just GONE.

“After the fight with Gaea, I thought Mr. D might return to camp, but he never did. I hope he’s alright.” (The Hidden Oracle, p. 129)

And then in The Tower Of Nero he shows up and nobody discusses where he went.

Can you tell I’m peeved? I’m peeved. Where the fuck was he, Rick?

I don’t even have a quote to show you because no one mentions it.

Hmpf. Anyway. Then we have the interesting tidbit that Dionysus thinks two is the perfect number of children, although it’s important to keep in mind that he thinks this after staying with the twins, which would’ve had to have happened before The Lightning Thief, when he’s already at camp.

So, perhaps in the time of him staying at camp, he simply doesn’t have any more kids, since he doesn’t want to be further outnumbered. (*In canon, in fanfiction anything is possible)

I can imagine a lot of the gods deciding to cut down on their amount of kids if they had to help raise them for a bit lol so that’s actually fair.

Anywho….I forget what we were talking about.

He probably just sneaks out or splits himself up lol

[intergalactic-garbage]

dakota campjupiter headcanons

hi! in my 13 years of age, i was a proud cabin 12 kid, so you know what that means! i was sad we never got a properly developed child of dionysus character

uses they/them. obviously. dionysus is the patron of transmascs and enbies (at least according to percy jackson's greek gods), and dakota is a neutral name

just. properly fat. doesn't feel bad about it. they got it after their father, and they love their belly and chubby cheeks!

a really laid back half-blood. there isn't a lot that can rock them, they're mostly just happy to be here, and you'll find yourself also catching their relaxed attitude when spending time near them

knows a lot, if not all of the other campers by name - they're very sociable, and often the life of the party. they love a good prank, but often chose to deliver their humour to the faces of the one or more recipients by words. theatre is in bacchus' domain, after all. though this is usually exacerbated by the kool-aid sugar rush, when they do sometimes get really silly ideas

their outlook on life is the one you'd find when having a conversation at the campfire with someone. there's a beauty to living, and it's worth it to enjoy the birdsong and the sun, and swim in the ocean and love your friends. just a stark contrast to all the ambition often seen in roman campers

relatedly, they aren't that much of a sportsman. they do enjoy the occasional game of frisbee (which has become very popular at camp jupiter in the recent years), or a good dance at a party, but they aren't too keen on physical exercise in the hot californian sun (tbh, who would be?) they do like a good swim though, especially in the sea

despite this, they do know how to wield a sword quite well. they have been through the standard training, after all - they know how important these things are, it's just that they'd rather do other things

not only do they know the campers by name, they also know most of the fauns and spirits that exist around cj, and often stop and strike up conversation with them - don the faun is one of their good friends

they're the centurion of the fifth cohort, and they're happy that way - they don't usually talk much at meetings, but do make sure to stick up for their cohort and anyone who needs it

the near-constant stain of red kool-aid around their mouth seems even redder because they have quite red lips, naturally. i'd say quite plump, too - they have this face that kinda has almost cherub-y features, with the dark curly hair and everything

sugar helps them gain energy (i do the same trick with sugary drinks and my adhd), but caffeine makes them sleepy. they got offered a coffee by jason once when they had to wake up early for patrol, and poor dude had to patrol all by himself, next to a sleeping child of bacchus

they come from a family that has their own vineyard and have been making their own wine for generations. they'd always helped with the winemaking process and the grape harvest since they were little. they do, of course, know that they have the power to help vines grow, it's just that they hardly ever use it - the terrain of their vineyards has been used for them for a long time, and things work just fine without magical intervention

they do host many gatherings and parties for the campers of camp jupiter (post boo, they do have parties that invite the camp half-blood campers as well once in a while, which is usually coupled with a senate meeting for greek demigods to sit in on if they're interested, and discussion of exchanges between the camps. there's tours of new rome for those interested in potentially moving there after their tenure at chb, and there's an obligatory war games evening. there's usually a handful of greek campers who are interested in a tour of the camp itself, to take some inspiration from it.)

one thing they're pretty cool and good at is the connections they make. adhd helps a person connect pretty much everything that's going on in their head, and sometimes, there's even a point to it! in this case, i mean with how many campers and new rome residents they know, they'll often help someone solve a problem by listening to them vent and then interrupting them with "oh, i know who can help you!" and dragging them across half of new rome to meet some guy with a bakery in need of an apprentice

and it's not like that's an uncommon thing! people do genuinely find themselves gravitating towards dakota's easygoing nature, and conversation just flows and they often find themselves talking about what bothers or tires them

please ask me about dakota and camp jupiter i'm rotating them in my mind always

[melodyofmbaku]

Long, Lost & Found (Erik Stevens x OC)

Prompt: “Keep those pretty eyes open.”

Word Count: 1,273

Warnings: ⚠️ Smut ⚠️

For the lovely @kitesatforestp 💜I took a while to fully flesh it out but I hope you like it.

She had volunteered to chaperone the camping trip for the Wakandan outreach center and was already drained.

Soon her coworker made herself known by exiting the washroom.

“Long day?” She inquired.

Alicia rolled her eyes. “You have no idea. I didn’t know the flavour of Kool Aid was really that important to kids. I’ve spent the whole afternoon mixing red.”

She considered her sticky red hands and smiled. “I’m glad they’re having a good time though. I just need a nap.” She stifled a yawn and crashed on the couch.

She heard the office door open and ignored it for scrolling on her phone.

She snickered at a TikTok on her phone and got comfortable on the couch.

“Alicia?”

She scrunched up her nose. Maybe if she pretended she was asleep they’d leave her alone. She couldn’t do another round of supervision. She’d hoped it wasn’t one of the camp counselors.

“Is that you?” The familiarity in the voice unsettled her.

“I’d know that laugh anywhere.” The voice said again.

She turned slowly and her breath caught in her throat. It couldn’t be, but it was. There he stood right in front of her.

Erik Stevens. Professional trouble maker and her high school sweetheart. The man that was supposed to take her virginity. Her first love.

The shock on her face couldn’t be contained.

Nikki looked between the two of them curiously. “I didn’t know you knew our guest speaker Alicia.”

“Guest speaker?” She asked.

“Prince Erik came to share some words to the kids during their camping trip. They love him. Why didn't you say anything?”

“I didn’t know that he’d be here.” She said lowly.

Struggling to take in the sight in front of her.

Erik, her high school heartthrob, had gone off the grid before graduating without saying a word to anyone.

They had made so many plans. She’d wanted to have her first time with him on prom night. They planned to move from Oakland to Houston, get a little house and raise an army of babies.

They never got to realize those goals and Alicia had been crushed, she’d thrown herself into college without bothering to date seriously until she was 23.

She was 28 now and it had been a series of failed sub 1 year relationships.

Now he stood in front of her thick with muscle and with a maturity that the Erik she knew 10 years ago could never possess. He was a bit of a hothead back then.

“Do you know each other well?” Her coworker inquired, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah,” she cleared her throat. “I know Erik from high school.” She avoided his eyes as his sought to find hers.

Nikki smirked and looked at the two before announcing her departure.

“Well I’ll leave you both to it.” She said before making her way over to the campsite.

“Where did you go?” Were the first words that left her mouth. Her gaze was hot and was accusatory. He deserved it.

“To take my place where I belonged.” He spoke, his voice gravelly and deeper than she remembered.

“You’re Wakandan…” she relaxed taking a look at his apparel and stature. It fit him. She admired his much longer locs and the jewelry embedded in them.

“Yeah. I — had to go. I needed to know the truth about my father. Where I came from, everything.”

“You look good. Like you found everything you wanted.” She said softly.

“Not quite.” He said lowly.

That’s how she ended up dressed in just her panties and a tank top with her legs spread in a damn cabin for Erik fucking Stevens. Her high school sweetheart.

“Erik…stop teasing” she complained.

“See that’s the thing…” he whispered into her skin. Almost in worship.

“I been trying to get between these thighs for so damn long. I wanna savor you.” He murmured as he ripped the lace panties from her body.

She gasped, scandalized. Her head hit the headboard. He was going to kill her. She would die having an orgasm in Erik’s arms and she would regret nothing.

What was he doing to her?

“But you were always so damn smart. Always studying and never wanting to turn up.” He reminisced running his hands up and down her thighs.

He kissed her mound and sat back taking in her wet sex. He breathed against it and she squirmed.

“She so damn pretty. She’s everything I ever dreamed of.”

He ran a curious finger down her weeping slit and looked at her directly in the eyes as her breath caught in her throat.

She grasped his hand to stop his assault but instead he used her hand to guide his into her entrance. He pressed his finger into her and smirked.

“Want more?” She nodded desperately.

He added another finger and began to stroke her insides slowly. She tilted her head back and her eyes slid closed.

Her eyes snapped open when she was met with the wetness of his tongue between her folds.

“Keep those pretty eyes open.” He smiled a small smile casually as if he was telling her to pass the salt.

He licked up her essence with vigor. Alicia felt her toes curl and her free hand fisted his locs.

“Erik” she moaned and stretched out his name, her back arched from the bed.

She tried to remove her hand from his wrist and he released it reluctantly and watched as she slapped it over her mouth.

“Shh baby girl.”

He placed a firm hand on her abdomen and pushed her body back down eyes never leaving hers.

“Im gonna take care of you princess. I have waited years for this. You gotta be quiet though. You don’t want your homegirls to hear you do you?” He cocked his head to the left and considered her wickedly.

“Erik I want it… you… right now.” She punctuated breathlessly.

“I hear you. I’m going to give you what you want Alicia I promise but I’m going to have to take my time with you mama.” He shook his head in mock sympathy.

“Erik please —“ a broken sound left her lips. He wasn’t going to let up. He was having entirely too much fun.

“You deserve it.” He kissed her forehead.

He slid his fingers out of her and she whined pathetically.

He laughed under his breath. “Come on girl that was kinda funny.” He goaded as she slid the zipper of his jeans down and the sound caused her to clench against nothing.

She glared at him and he pulled his impressive length from his boxers. He stroked it once. Twice. Eyes never leaving hers.

“Get over here.” She whispered hoarsely.

He took a step forward and lined himself up between her body. His hips between her legs.

He leaned down to cradle her face. She leaned into it and shot him a look. She had tears welling up in her eyes. Erik couldn’t tell if it was from frustration or hurt.

“You left me all alone…”

“I know.” He murmured rubbing his length between her lips but never fully sheathing himself in her.

“Don’t you ever do that again.” She demanded, fierce eyes pinning him in place. He brushed her cheek in admiration.

“Never again.” He promised the love in his heart swelling uncomfortably.

He swiped the rouge tear from her cheek with his thumb.

“I’m here baby. Don’t you worry about a thing. Daddy’s home.”

___

My requests are open. So if you’d like me to bring an idea you have to life, I write for all the black men in Black Panther.

With a heavy lean towards M’Baku contrary to popular belief. 😉

[thecrackking]

David dated someone older once, Pine was sweet but wasn’t as good in bed as Pincecone, Pine’s 21 year old kid living in their parents branches still

David is a necrophiliac. He killed his lover accidentally one night and sleeps with the body convinced the spirit of Loggy will haunt him if he doesn’t fuck Loggy daily

Getting kinky in the cabin is now what I call sex in camp camp

Daniel is a mild horse power bottom

David is man enough to top the cultist

Jasper is a pillow princess and he has David ride him like a cowboy

Jasper tops with Daniel Daniel is just not chad enough to top ever

Daniel doesn’t even top in his own fantasies he knows that truth and he hates it

Dirty Kevin has so much chad energy he will lend it to Daniel because Daniel sometimes needs an ego boost and that boost comes from topping

Daniel is a clean freak, condoms and lube are a requirement in his book but when he tops he doesn’t want the condoms he’s clean Kevin is clean he just wants to be able to fuck with no elastic barrier

Dirty Kevin will never use the kool aid lube except that one time he was kind of high

David doesn’t understand the lube but supports Daniel

Daniel supports David’s tree kink but he silently judges during ungodly hours of the night

Jasper feels slightly better about his roleplaying because he knows David is a tree fucker

Daniel thinks Jasper is funny and happily participates

David doesn’t want to roleplay but he does it because it doesn’t make him uncomfortable he just doesn’t understand why Jasper is such a 90’s kid in the twenty first century

Jasper also silently judges David okay he’s not stealthy he’ll just look at David judgingly from time to time and every time David chops wood for fires or picks up a stick or goes into the forest he’ll say the same thing “I’m worried your cheating on me with Mother Nature” or “you gonna fuck that tree too?” Jasper will also jokingly act openly jealous about it

Everyone is salty because no one but the trees can get David to scream like a motherfucker

[alsfunkyalbum]

Old Roots Leo from Cabin 6 is ready to offer fittings for summer kimonos (Yukata) from his personally curated collection! 

Just what design will you pick out?

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

--

Being greeted by another version of him brought Bird Leo a smile to his face. Giving a roll of his shoulders, he takes a peek at his wings and huge tail. He turns back to the other.

"I'll give it a try... If you have something fitting enough for me." Leo chuckled.

Long story short, he did.

--

--

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

Apologies if the drawing isn't really accurate to the actual clothing, I just searched and drew whatever I could find online.

[emumuuu]

some random ass dionysus kid headcanons because im in a cabin wars in dionysus and my head is full of grapes

-they got the hephaestus kids to make them a mechanical grape launcher. dont walk by their cabin if you dont want to get grapes in your face.

-if you walk by their cabin, the first thing you’ll hear is all-star blaring as loudly as possible from the inside

-90% of them can play the bongos. why? no idea they just do

-their prized possession is an old kitchen sink from before the camp kitchen got remodeled. its name is harry

-older and experienced kids can cause a dionysian madness on everyone in the near vicinity but it affects absolutely everyone including allies so its used sparingly

-they have a grand piano in their cabin used only for dramatic draping purposes. none of them can actually play

-they have a secret kool aid stash

[willcwthewisp]

monkee see, monkee do | luce & willow

TIMING: before mother’s day. PARTIES:  @divineluce and @willcwthewisp. SUMMARY: two artists meet a new challenger. OH YEAH!

Washing her hands in the sink, Luce looked around at her cabin with a wistful sigh. She’d had a handful of tourists book it over the last few weeks, which was helpful. But, she missed living here. She missed quiet nights with Iggy, a fire in the grate, working on a new design or practicing some of her more precise manipulations of the flame. She missed the comfortable solitude of it all, back when she was… herself. Letting out a sigh, Luce locked up the cabin. But, instead of getting back into her Jeep, she went into the woods, following the familiar trails. She missed being able to just throw herself into the woods. But the forest wasn’t the same for her, not anymore. She’d destroyed it, burned it, had some angry spirit of the forest confront her with that fact. Maybe she’d go back to the grove she’d burnt down today. Check how it was.

As Luce moved deeper into the forest, the earth beneath her feet began to shift, becoming soft and loamy. Frowning, she glanced around and was startled to see-- “What the fuck..?” She said as a strangely animated looking river began to flow through the trees. Animated as in like, it looked as though a fucking 90’s Disney artist had drawn this shit. But the water soaking through her boots was very real. As was the scream that rang through the air.

One moment, Willow had been taking a solitary walk along the edge of White Crest’s Outskirts and the next she’d found herself careening down a watery pathway. The river had appeared out of seemingly nowhere, and the only warning she’d had of anything mysterious being afoot had been the sudden appearance of a cute, monkey looking creature. It had even been holding its tail between it’s little paws as if it were nervous or something of that like. She’d blinked, and next thing she’d known her clothes were wet, and she was sputtering amongst the throes of a gushing river. “Help!” she yelled out frantically. There was no reason for her to think that someone might hear her cries, but what else was there for her to do but seek assistance? The river wound its way downhill, and a nearly inhumane scream wrenched itself from her lips. “Help! I can’t- the river- it just-” For the brief moment her head was above water, she managed to make out a human shape along the banks of the water, and made her best effort to swim towards it. “The monkey! Where’s the monkey?!” Why she cared about a strange little monkey at a time like this, she couldn’t say.

As Luce watched the strangely textured water flow through the trees, she saw that there was a monkey creature, tapping its chin thoughtfully as it bobbed up and down on a flamingo inner tube that had the same dark lines as the water. “Fucking, of course. Saetimps.” She rolled her eyes before turning her attention to the woman who was yelling and trying to swim-- badly, it looked-- to the edge of the river. Gritting her teeth, Luce waded out into the water and held out her hand as far as she could reach, “C’mon, get over here! Before that thing whips out a shark or something.” She yelled. As she said that, she could practically feel the Saetimp’s eyes turn onto her and she watched to her dismay, as it drew a very Little Mermaid-esque looking shark that flopped into the water and began to swim towards them. “Shit, shit, shit, let’s go, dry land, right now!” She yelled, dragging the woman behind her as she pushed her way through the river back to the dry forest floor.

Willow grabbed for the other woman’s arm in desperation, clutching onto it as if it were her only lifeline in the world. For all she knew, it was. As she was yoinked from the river, her chest heaved with the effort of her panicked breaths, eyes almost impossibly wide as she watched the newly drawn shark circling beneath her and the other woman. “What’s wrong with it?” she nearly screeched, referring to the strangest monkey she’d encountered in her entire life. “Sharks aren’t even native to rivers!” she yelled, as if the Saetimp cared anything about that. “Or well- there’s a species of river shark but- that does not look like one of them!” Apparently the hell monkey took insult to this, and soon enough an accurate river shark had joined the other in the waters. But it didn’t matter anymore. Willow and the other girl had made it to dry land. “At least they can’t get us here,” the medium breathed, trying to catch her breath. “It’s not like they could grow legs or something.” Yet again, the Saetimp took this as a personal challenge, and in a blink of her eyes the sharks were suddenly crawling up the side of the bank, strange, arm-like legs protruding from their bodies as they crab-walked closer. “No!” Willow denied, as if she could forcefully put them back. “No! That’s not right! Go back!”

Holding on tight, Luce hauled the woman out of the animated rapids, shaking water from her face in an effort to get a clear look at just what was going on. The fucking Saetimp was watching them with that same stupid look on its face, tapping its paintbrush against the side of its inner tube. And when the woman spoke up, Luce’s eyes widened as the sharks began to sprout legs with hands attached to them. “You just had to fucking say something!” She said, glancing around them. The woods were thick with tree roots that made running nearly impossible. And the water, it was rising and rising. But, the Saetimp was still scratching its head as though it still didn’t like the scene it’d created. She’d seen that expression before-- not on a magic monkey before, but she’d seen it often enough. “Oh no! What would we do if there were attack hamsters!” She said, shouting the first thing that came to mind. Apparently, she’d spent too much time with Hamtarot, because that’s what came out. The Saetimp seemed just as confused as her, but suddenly the water was full of fuzzy creatures in mechanized hamster balls. The arm-legged sharks began to snap at the brightly colored hamster balls, distracted for a moment. “You got any other ideas?” She asked the woman.

“What?!” Willow exclaimed as the other woman spoke of hamsters, briefly looking towards her as if the unknowing savior had lost her mind. “Ideas? Why would I want to give it more ideas?” But as she watched she realized the hamsters had served a purpose, and the purpose was actually working out quite well for her and the brunette. “They...like the hamsters?” she asked with a nonplussed look on her face, beginning to connect the dots when it came to more things being drawn as a means of buying them time. “Oh...oh!” she began excitedly, trying to name the first thing that came to mind. “And if there were books with teeth? Ones that could chomp and crack hamster balls? That’d be really bad!” Sure enough the Saetimp began to draw just that, the books gnashing their way through the hamsters that were trying to make their way through the sharks. “Oh that’s...I mean they were a little cute, weren’t they?” she asked the woman standing next to her, suddenly feeling a little guilty for the little fuzzy creatures. 

Watching with dismay and irritation as half a dozen toothy books fell into the river, Luce watched as the animated little hamster balls began to sink in the waves. “No, don’t give it more weapons, Jesus.” But, it seemed as though it was working. The hamster balls were being crushed and the sharks were snarling, distracted by the fuzzy little creatures swimming around. Were they carrying tiny knives? Luce watched as one of the hamsters let out a tiny Rambo yell and launched itself at a leggy shark, stabbing twin bowie knives into the shark’s fin. “They’ve got tiny knives too. Wow. I mean, they’re cute if you like getting shanked?” Luce said, squinting at the very confusing fray. Meanwhile, the Saetimp had noticed that the chaos it had created had missed the mark-- it hadn’t killed either of them. Seeing the frustrated look on its face, Luce grasped at straws, “Oh boy, I’m so afraid of… the fucking… Kool-aid man! Yep! Super afraid of him. Boy, it’d be shitty if he popped up!” The Saetimp glared at her and for a moment, Luce was afraid that it’d just draw a pit with spikes in the bottom and she’d get turned into a kebab. But then, exploding out of the water with a loud “OH YEAH” was… the fucking Kool-aid Man. Looking over at the woman, Luce shrugged helplessly, “Listen, I didn’t hear any other better ideas. We can take the Kool-Aid man, right?”

Willow screamed as the Kool-Aid man himself popped out of the water, and her rampant telekinesis was quick to respond to the jump-scare of the century, even though she wasn’t realistically all that afraid of the oversized punch pitcher. One of the sharks was suddenly launched into the glass side of the Kool-Aid Man teeth first, leaving a shark-sized hole in its wake as red punch began to spill into the river. Sure— there’d been a couple of nightmares she’d had about him bursting through her wall as a kid and getting stuck in his big head of punch, but she was thirty-two now! She shouldn’t be afraid of the Kool-Aid Man. But he was just so big. Not to mention unpredictable. Nevertheless this felt like a victory for her four-year-old self. “Ah- if that’s what you meant by taking the Kool-Aid Man, sure!” Nevermind that it hadn’t exactly been intentional. What next? What else could they make this thing draw? Or maybe...what was the thing artists hated most? Ignorant critique, wasn’t it? Unfortunately Willow’s mean streak was about a centimeter wide, but that didn’t stop her from doing her best to frustrate the Saetimp. “You call- you call that a Kool-Aid Man?” she tried to goad despite her stammering. “My grandma could draw a better one!” She could have sworn the monkey turned a shade that was almost as red as the pitcher it had drawn, and in an instant it was trying to pop out another, better one.

Flinching at the loud shriek, Luce glanced over at the woman for a moment before a loud shattering sound filled the air. What the fuck? Had that shark just been yeeted through the Kool-Aid Man? What the fuck? Luce stared back at the woman-- was she some kind of psychic? Or, fuck, hadn’t Peanut done something like that before? A medium? Whatever, it didn’t really matter. As the woman yelled at the Saetimp, Luce rolled her eyes. At least the creature wasn’t bright, because it took the bait hook line and sinker. “Yeah, look at those lines! They’re so thick and wobbly, I wouldn’t even want that hanging up on my fridge!” She said, gesturing to the shattered Kool-Aid Man that was thrashing in the water, now being devoured by sharks. The river was still flowing through and the Saetimp was steadily being taken down stream, but she wanted this thing gone. “I bet you couldn’t draw anything with real detail. Like-- Like a yacht! You wouldn’t even know where the sails go!” Did yachts have sails? Who fucking knew, but Luce had a feeling the Saetimp sure didn’t.  

Willow laughed despite herself, the mental image of the mess of drawings on a fridge tipping her over the edge when it came to finding humor is as ridiculous a situation as this. And Luce had been right about the Saetimp’s lack of nautical knowledge. Even now it was drawing some sails attached to the smokestacks of a very strange looking yacht. “That’s not where the sails go!” Willow called out, trying to figure out how they might tangle this Saetimp in its own drawings. Would it just...get tired after a while or something? “Plus it needs bigger sails! Sails as tall as the trees!” Willow’s arms raised above her head as if she could personally model how tall a tree was. After all, it was a part of her namesake. “A big willow tree with lots of branches and birds, and- and monkeys!” Maybe a self-portrait would send the creature into a downwards shame spiral. 

It seemed like the Saetimp was at its last wits, creative juices sputtering out as it muddled its way through adding an absolutely atrocious willow tree, with lumpy, ugly monkeys with their hands fused to its branches. “Jesus fucking christ, that’s horrifying.” Luce muttered as she watched the potato shaped monkeys screamed angrily at them from the deck of the yacht/steamboat/pirate ship that was sailing down the river. Just as she was about to wrack her brains for more ideas to feed the Saetimp, she watched as the creature threw its paintbrush down in disgust and stamped its foot on the deck of the yacht. As it did so, the yacht continued to sail down the river, lumpy looking monkeys screeching as the boat disappeared from view. Luce sank to the ground and let out a long sigh. “Good fucking christ.” She said, wringing out her water logged clothes. “You good?”

Willow looked at the abomination of a creation in slight wonder, head tilted in interest as she tried to make sense of what the monkey had drawn. As she watched the monkeys with their hands stuck to the tree she felt a small stab of guilt in her gut. They weren’t...real monkeys in the way a normal one would be right? They wouldn’t actually suffer while being trapped against the tree? But at least the head monkey was gone, and the two girls could finally have peace. Except… “Isn’t the monkey and everything just going to run into someone else down the river?” Nevertheless, she settled herself onto the ground as well, suddenly tired after swimming in the currents of the river. “Um- I’m fine. Are you?” Now that the monkey was gone, she could recover decently well, instead of letting her panic overtake her. “Thank you though- for helping me. I’d probably still be going down the river if it wasn’t for you.” Willow’s doe-eyed gaze filled with gratitude as she finally took in the other girl, trying to figure out why she looked somewhat familiar.

“It might. But, I have a feeling that guy’s gonna be tired out enough after making all of that. He’ll probably pass out in a hammock somewhere.” Luce said as she squeezed water from the ends of her hair. She was really only guessing; she’d never really interacted with Saetimps before. Most of what she knew about them came from her general interest in the strange Fae when she was younger. But, she’d never really looked for them around town. “Just peachy.” Luce replied as she stood up, her clothes damp and uncomfortable against her warm skin. “No problem.” Luce said slowly, a bit caught off guard by the way that the other woman was staring at her. What, did the Saetimp draw something on her face? “I’m Luce, by the way.” She said with a nod.

“I hope so…” Willow trailed off, trying not to think too hard about the future harm the strange monkey could bring to people. It wasn’t as if she could do anything about it, anyway. She was no hunter, and she wasn’t sure she had the stomach to sign something’s death warrant anyway. Willow made her own efforts to get the water off her clothes, still disappointedly wet and dripping by the time she was finished. Shaking her hands with a sigh, she tried to look at the bright side of the situation. At least they were...in one piece? The girl's name finally struck the bell that had been faintly ringing in Willow’s head, and recognition lit her eyes. “Bea’s your sister, right?” She chose the phrasing carefully, knowing how annoying it was when people asked if she was Forest’s sister and not the other way around. “I was friends with her for a while until…” Forest had made a mess of things. “Well- it doesn’t matter, I just knew her. But really- thank you for helping me,” she repeated, already thinking about the pile of blankets she wanted to tunnel under one she got home.

At the mention of her sister, Luce’s eyes narrowed slightly-- not as harshly as they might have a year ago, but she was confused all the same. “Yeah. She is.” Luce said with a slow nod, now eying the woman with earnest. Blonde, honestly pretty basic looking, about Bea’s age. Which made sense if she said that they were friends for a bit. A girl on the cheer team? No, that couldn’t be it. Luce would have known her-- she’d “reluctantly” waited on the sidelines during Bea’s many cheer practices. She recognized most of the girls who’d been on the team back then, the result of stealing glances up over her sketchbook. But, this girl definitely wasn’t one of them. Hm-- “Hang on. You’re Willow, right? Fo--” Forest’s sister, she almost said, but caught herself quickly, “Finch. Willow Finch. You had that art studio in town.” She said, remembering how envious she’d been when the place had first opened.

Curiosity tempered slightly by how reluctant Willow seemed, Luce nodded again, “No problem.” She repeated. “I’ve dealt with worse out here.” She jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “I have a cabin up here. Do you… want to borrow a towel or something?” She asked belatedly, realizing she probably should have offered sooner. 

Willow shifted uncertainly under Luce’s gaze, not entirely certain what it was the other woman was looking for until she finally came up with the medium’s name. “Oh- yes! I’m Willow,” she realized sheepishly that she’d forgotten to give her name in return when Luce had offered her own. “Sorry- I guess I just got caught up in recognizing you.” For a moment Willow brightened at the mention of her studio, but an instant later the gleam had dulled into disappointment and regret as she nodded confirmation. “Yes- the one that closed a few months ago. It was the one with the gallery in the front, and then I had my studio in the back.” But that was long gone, a dream broken just like she’d broken that man’s arm. She was curious about Luce’s reasoning for asking after the gallery, but decided that was a conversation that could wait for when they were both nicely dry. 

A vigorous shake of Willow’s head served as her initial answer to Luce’s invitation, already feeling rather squirrly the longer she stood here with Luce, accurately aware of all the things that could go wrong if her telekinesis decided to flex its muscles. “Oh no- no, thank you. I mean thank you, but I really should go home.”

“Yeah. I just said that.” Luce nodded, a bit of her old sense of humor trickling back into her tone as she regarded the woman. “And don’t worry. Not a lot of people from high school recognize me.” She said with a shrug. She’d always been quiet in school and, outside of a few people she was friendly with in her art classes, no one remembered her as anything other than “Bea Vural’s younger sister.” A lot of people didn’t put together the fact that the moody girl who doodled in the back of class was now a heavily tattooed artist at Ink Inc. “It’s a bummer it closed down. I wanted to take a look at the gallery but,” Life went off the rails for the past year, “I never got the chance. Sucks, though.” She said offhandedly.

The amount of nervous energy coming off Willow was really something else-- Luce was distinctly reminded of the shivery looking Chihuahua on the old Taco Bell commercials. Raising an eyebrow, Luce raised her hands in surrender. “Suit yourself. Stay safe out there.” She said before heading back in the direction of her cabin, boots squishing noisily as she walked. It just had to draw up a river, didn’t it? Fucking Saetimps. 

Willow was trying to make sense of whether or not Luce was joking with a tired mind, deciding to play it safe and simply shoot the other girl a tentative smile. “I don’t think we actually went to highschool together. Just missed each other or something like that. And um- well it’s been a while, right?” She didn’t want the other girl thinking she’d been unmemorable or something as depressing as that, and she vaguely remembered Bea saying something about how Luce would be entering her freshman year once Willow graduated all those years ago. “Or...Bea is Luce’s older sister?” Willow tried to offer kindly with a gentle hint of a joke, knowing how frustrating it could be to only be known by a sibling’s name at times. A sigh of relief escaped Willow when Luce didn’t push the subject of the cabin, and she too began her trek home. “Thanks- you too!” At least the only things she’s thrown today were badly drawn sharks.

[oceanera12]

Star Wars x Percy Jackson

Okay so this was a LOT harder then I thought it was going to be on the account that literally everyone in the GFFA is related to one another. So for the sake of my sanity (and yours) let’s just assume that no one is related so I can figure out what kriffing Olympian attributed to them (also we are keeping them all Greek to save me that headache)

Also to keep my sanity I split everyone up by Trilogy/TV Show so just assume each each are a new generation (with some overlapping)--

Also I’m not doing everyone because there is way too many kriffing characters so get ready for highlights and personal favorites. If you have anyone to add, comment or feel free to add! (Last “also”, promise! I stuck mostly with the big twelve to, you guessed it, preserve my sanity!)

Prequels:

Yoda is from Dionysus cabin--FIGHT ME ON THIS. I could not figure out why he talks like he does and came to the conclusion is he is definitely “drunk” on Kool-Aid. Also I like the idea of him growing vines and plants because of Dagoba. He is a camp councilor that’s been around for longer than anyone can remember by Chiron likes him well enough.

Mace is a child of Hades. ... I honestly don’t know why, but as soon as that image popped into my head I accepted it. Maybe it’s because of his stoic personality or maybe the fact he fights in a very angry style, to which I say, “skeletons ripping up from the earth”.

Qui-Gon-- for some bizarre reason the idea of Hypnos popped into my head and I now I cannot get it to leave me alone. So Qui is from Hypnos cabin. He gets a lot of sleep and even more visions of the future (such as a very powerful half-blood coming to camp and he’s now determined to find that kid)

Obi-Wan was tricky. I debated between a lot of cabins and none of them seemed to work for him. I finally settled on Hephaestus, which seems weird but let me explain. Obi-Wan feels like someone who would totally be into arts and crafts, if he could have. Hephaestus cabin usually has a good head and are quite smart

Anakin is from Zeus Cabin. Did you expect anything less? This kid is Mr. Lightning summoning, sword wielding, insane power with way too many emotions. (It was either that or Hephaestus but... “Chosen One” and all that)

Padme is 100% from Athena cabin. That’s it. Fight me.

Palpatine is a weird one because I’d usually just make him a monster or something like a Titan but... eh. I’m going Hermes because this boy knows how to lie and trick people (a lot like Luke, now that I think about it...). A friend of mine also suggested the child of Nemesis, the goddess of Revenge which could also work so pick your pick.

R2-D2 and C-3PO are satyrs. Very annoying, very loud, satyrs. 3PO goes on and on about the importance of nature and R2 follows behind him creating his own form of chaos. Most people avoid them.

Clone Wars:

Ahsoka is also from Athena cabin. I just like to picture her fighting with two knives and flipping around like a gymnast. But she’s more chill then Ares cabin--although she does love hanging out with those boys. She’s unofficially adopted by Ares cabin as a sister in arms so that’s cool.

Ares Cabin just consists of all the clones, okay? It was either that or Hermes but I just couldn’t imagine my boys without their military structure. Cody’s head of the cabin and has to try and keep all of his siblings in line-- very poorly, but he’s doing his best.

Satine is in Demeter Cabin. I wasn’t sure where else to put a pacifist but I thought it suited her well enough. Ex-girlfriend of Obi-Wan but they are on friendly terms (and there is a running bet on when they will get back together)

Rebels:

Kanan was really hard to figure out. I decided to make him Poseidon’s kid because he’s usually really chill in the show. For the most part, he’s really laid back and doesn’t use any water abilities unless he has too. Prefers to fight with a sword, but can use a crossbow surprising well. Has a street kid background so he gets along with the Hermes cabin really well and has kind of “adopted” one of the kids there (three guesses as to who)

Hera has to fly, okay? She has to be able to fly either a Pegasus or actually fly which leaves either Zeus, Apollo, or Poseidon as the main picks, which I don’t think any of those scream Hera. In fact, flip them, she’s a mortal that see’s through the Mist. She somehow got dragged into this world of monsters and demi-gods and is now chilling at the camp just for the heck of it. It may or may not have had something to do with her now-Boyfriend Kanan who may or may not have been on a quest at the time when he accidently destroyed her apartment because of a stupid hellhound.

Ezra is in Hermes cabin. This tiny little thief is wonderful and is a cute little blueberry. Kanan kind of unofficially adopted the kid so Ezra is usually drenched from swimming in the lake.

Zeb is from Athena cabin. Very skilled with a staff and very into battle meditation. Not super into the “intelligent” side of Athena, but he is in no way an idiot. Get’s into a lot of trouble with Ezra because why not?

Sabine I could totally see being the child of Apollo, but she joined Artemis Huntresses (maybe out of spite to her Dad but also because a bunch of warrior women? Heck, yeah!). Very artsy, excellent shot with a bow, and is much, much cooler then her dad.

Chopper is a very lazy, very stubborn Hellhound, fight me on this (and may have been the Hellhound Kana was fighting when he met Hera, but he’s now attached to this strange mortal woman who literally told off these two for destroying her house).

Original:

Luke was almost a child of the big three (specifically Hades for some bizarre reason--don’t ask me why, I don’t know how my brain got on that) but then I remembered that Hecate was a thing soooooo... Luke Skywalker, the son of Hecate, goddess of magic. He manipulates the mist and stuff like that. Also likes to fly Pegasi.   

Leia... okay, this is going to sound really weird but I kind of see Leia as a child of Aphrodite. Not obsessed with how she looks and all that stuff, but more like Piper. Very strong willed, determined, and keeps your attention. She fights for what she believes in (loves) and can kick butt. It was either that or Athena but... eh, let’s turn that on it’s side, shall we?

Han is Hermes. What did you expect?

Chewbacca is a satyr. I don’t know if you expected any differently, but I’m picturing Coach Hedge just not... insane. Very much likes to fight monsters and is very protective of Han.

Lando is... tricky. I’m going to go with Dionysus simply because of the party factor, but don’t cross him. He can mess you up.

Sequels:

Rey is unclaimed. She chills in Hermes cabin and has no idea who her Godly parent is... which she mopes about a lot. ((I literally could not figure out who’s daughter she would be because that’s kind of the whole Trilogy. And then it hit me like an out of control Pegasus.))

Poe is from Apollo cabin and can usually be found on a Pegasus. His favorite is nicknamed BB and is white with “orange” spots. Very good at flying and shooting a bow at the same time. Yes, he’s a show off and yes, he’s very good in a fight.

Finn is in Ares cabin. But he’s more like Frank in the sense of he’s definitely nicer then most of his cabinmates. Excellent fighter but does not have that stupid Ares temper... most days (don’t cross Finn or he will mess you up)

Rose gets to be a child of Hephaestus. She’s smart and is an engineer, simple as that.

Kylo/Ben is in Aphrodite cabin simply because I want him there. He’s prissy, full of himself, and a jerk and if that isn’t Aphrodite, I don’t know what is (I’m sorry, I just hated Aphrodite in the books and Kylo was kind of a “meh” character soooooooooo...)

[yikesharringrove]

Dude! How cute that you're doing this Harringrove prompt list thing! x3 I support you and your writing journey, so hey! I'd honestly LOVE to see some 35-Babysitting shit :') Mayhaps pair it with no.22? xDD I think it could make a cute combo?

22: “That wasn't meant for you.”

35: Babysitting

I typed this all out and then my computer crashed so that’s why it took a million years I’m so sorry but thank you for your request and being my biggest fan :’) I wanted to incorporate some of the cute nicknames we talked about too!

Everything Billy remembers his mom saying about baking are all things my mom has told me about cooking and baking and stuff. I made cookies eight before I wrote this and I was on the phone with her and she kept reminding of those like she hasn’t been saying them my entire life it was so cute.

Billy doesn’t know how he keeps ending up in these positions. Actually, he knows exactly how. All Steve fucking Harrington needs to do is add that little pouty whine into his voice and promise I’ll make it up to you please, Bill I really need your help just grab El and bring her home, Robin asked me to cover her next shift she said it was an emergency, I need you, Bill please and Billy is tripping over himself to do whatever it is he wants.

Which was apparently babysitting? He picked up El from the Wheeler’s stupid giant house, deftly avoiding Karen as he went, and drove her to that creepy-turned-admittedly-cozy cabin in the woods place she and Hop call home, only to find Hop in full uniform clambering into his old truck throwing an “it’s an emergency, kid. Just feed her some dinner and make sure she goes to bed” over his shoulder at Billy.

El pulled him into the house and they spent the first hour or so sitting in an odd silence on either end of the small couch. She was steadily working her way through a worn copy of Charlotte’s Web on which Billy could practically SMELL Nancy Wheeler, asking Billy definitions for unfamiliar words every now and again.

It was his idea to bake cookies. He used to love following his mom around the kitchen, clinging to her skirt as she explained what she was doing in her sweet voice, always use coarse Kosher salt it has better flavor than anything else, and add an extra egg than the recipe calls for, I think eggs have gotten smaller. He relayed this information to El as he went, her clinging to his every word, looking at him with wide, trusting eyes.

He was just pulling the first batch of sweet golden cookies from the oven when Steve busted into the cabin like the fucking Kool-aid Man, the door bouncing off the wall with the sheer force used. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, big eyes huge, hair disheveled, and not in that artful way he’s been super into right now (not that Billy’s complaining, he has sex hair like 100% of the time now, it’s hot), and he’s still wearing that stupid, sexy, little sailor suit

“Bill, I’m so fucking sorry. I saw Hop and he said you were babysitting he told me El just needed a ride, I’m so sorry man.” He thumped over to Billy and got all up in his space.

“Nah, baby. It’s okay. El and I were having a pretty good time getting these all made.” Steve was looking at him with the sweetest, softest eyes ever and Billy could feel the heat creeping up his neck.

“Wait, you two baked? Can I have one?” He reached to choose a cookie from the hot tray, which Billy shifted out of his reach, only to be met with Steve’s famous pout.

“Actually, these weren’t meant for you. Cookies are for people who help and don’t lie to their boyfriends and leave them stranded with terrible children.” He gave El one of the steaming cookies with a wink. She smiled at them. Steve rolled his eyes.

“I said I was sorry. C’mon Bills. Forgive me? Pretty please.” He REALLY knows what he’s doing. He batted his eyes at Billy, letting his bottom lip pout out. Billy wanted to bite it. He rolled his eyes in turn.

“Jesus fuck-FINE. Here. You can eat one now,” He leaned closer to purr right into Steve’s ear, putting a cookie straight into that mouth of his. “But later, I get to eat you.” He grinned at the flushed look on Steve’s face and turned around, depositing the cookies on the counter.

“Alright El and I were gonna watch a movie, you hangin’ with us, Mac n’ Steve?” Steve appeared to shake himself out of his (probably horny) trance and smiled at the nickname.

When Hop came home, he opened the cabin door to El, fast asleep on a sleeping Steve, curled up on a very awake, and minorly disgruntled Billy.

[antiquecompass]

Untamed Spring Fest Day 7: Pastel

Wherein there is hair dye and easter egg hunts. Of a sort.

Mo Xuanyu had given his hair a rest over the winter. It’s something he did every few years, knowing that no matter how much product and head massages and professional shampoos and serums he used, dyeing his hair as often as he did wasn’t good for it, especially turning his naturally dark brown hair to his favored pastel colors. He still had some color of course. Hair chalk, little strands of hair tinsel, and even the old Kool-Aid method when he was bored, but by the time April rolled around it had been nearly six months since he’d dyed his hair. And to celebrate the coming of Spring, he decided to go full on mermaid hair.

At least, that was his intention when he’d left the house this morning for his appointment with Sunny.

“Can I try something new?” Sunny asked when he got there. “It’s called ‘oil slick.’ We’ll still give you the colors of the rainbow, but with less bleaching.” She ran her hands through his hair. “It’s just so healthy right now.”

“Your hard work,” he praised her.

“Yours too,” she said.

“Pictures?” he asked.

She handed him a tablet and he quickly thumbed through the references there. It was gorgeous and stunning and while not his normal pastels, still beautiful. He wanted it. Even if the coming of spring usually meant pastel for him, he could just paint his nails various easter egg colors. This was something different and exciting. He wanted to try it.

“Do it,” he said.

Sunny grinned at him, as bright as her name. “This is why you’re my favorite client.”

He was one of her first, back when they were both going through beauty school together. Her trying to raise a kid on her own and get her certifications; him trying to juggle beauty school and art school at the same time. They’d bonded over too much work and too much stress. He’d often volunteered to let her experiment with his hair and she’d always let him experiment on her with various make-up looks. It was a friendship that had grown from those early class days to years later; Sunny a renown hair stylist and Xuanyu an established part of the art scene, both in the theater and for his make-up looks. Make-up outside of his theater work was still more a hobby than anything else, but considering the company he kept these days, he’d ended up with a following on all his social media.

“Our lives are strange,” he said as Sunny nodded. “As soon as I get this done, you know you’re going to get people flocking here.”

“As long as I don’t fuck it up,” Sunny said.

“You won’t fuck it,” Xuanyu said. “And even if you do, we’ll make it work.”

**********

Sunny had not fucked it up. His appointment took far longer in the end, and even when she tried to refuse, he made sure to tip her double because they were friends, but this was still

business

and she’d done such an amazing job. She deserved to be more than compensated for taking up two entire blocks of her time. He couldn’t stop checking his hair as he waited for his ride to arrive.

Even if it had been two--nearly three--years since that summer, the one where everything changed, the Nies and most of Springfield Security had adopted Xuanyu as their own and were just slightly paranoid about his safety. With their impending wedding next-next winter, it had been decided by family council or, really, an entire group of stubborn assholes, that Xuanyu needed a driver. There were battles Mo Xuanyu would always fight; hills he would always die on; going against the over-protective instincts of the entire Nie family and most of its employees? Not even worth trying. Sometimes it was easier to give in.

The car that eventually pulled up was one of the standard Springfield Security fleet vehicles. When he opened the passenger side door, he was pleasantly surprised to see Zonghui behind the wheel.

“I thought you were still working a job,” he said as he settled in.

“Just finished this morning,” Zonghui said. He waited for Xunayu to buckle his seatbelt and then pulled out into traffic. “And I’m on another one now, or at least a family mission.”

Xuanyu glanced in the back and saw one of his overnight bags resting on the seat.

“Am I being kidnapped again?” he asked.

“Whisked away at the very least,” Zonghui said. “One last vacation for you two before the start of, what does he call it, hell season?”

Weddings. So many weddings. Golden Canary Events wasn’t even a wedding planning business and yet, because of his reputation alone, Huaisang had become one of the most sought after wedding planners in New England. For his own sanity, he only accepted seven weddings a year and most of those hit in either May or June.

One last weekend of peace and calm and nothing but the two of them? Yes, please.

“And this out of the way destination just so happens to be on your way to….”

Zonghui shook his head and groaned. “Not you too.”

“I’m just saying, considering the direction we’re going, I’m assuming it’s Huaisang’s favorite cabin, which just so happens to be in the same direction as the secluded mountain house Carson calls home, and, if I remember what my brother muttered over breakfast this morning correctly, Carson is currently on sick leave.”

Zonghui sighed. “He’s all alone out there.”

“No one to hear the screams, I suppose,” Xuanyu teased him.

“We’re just---we haven’t--I’m just concerned,” Zonghui said.

“Of course,” Xuanyu agreed. “Well, Jade Palace in the next town over has marvelous egg drop soup. If you’d want to get it, just to check on him, because you’re concerned and all.”

“Thank you,” Zonghui said. “You little brat.”

“Well, honestly, we’ve been in this car for nearly ten minutes already and you haven’t said a thing about my hair.”

It was nice to hear Zonghui laugh, his words muffled and broken as he tried to keep his eyes on the road and give Xuanyu the most saccharine sweet compliments through the wheezing breaks in his laughter.

*********

The cabin looked empty when he arrived. Xuanyu shrugged it off, figuring something had kept Huaisang in Boston. Xuanyu crouched down and shook the little turtle that served as their hide-a-key, palming the key and walking inside, quickly shutting off the alarm as he entered. He jumped back in shock as something crunched under his boot. He lifted it up and found a plastic easter egg there, a slip of paper falling out of it and its candy contents spilling out over the floor. He quickly gathered up the fallen Hershey Kisses and Hugs, before reading the slip of paper.

Huaisang’s beautiful calligraphy took up the entirety of the slip.

 Come and see

Xuanyu dropped his bag on the couch and looked up in awe. The outdoors had been brought inside, the walls and ceilings decorated with greenery and flowers--fabric of course, but so lifelike. By the couch was a large, empty, pastel-colored easter basket and at the other end was another egg.

“I love that man,” Xuanyu told the room as he started his own little easter egg hunt.

Sixty-six eggs and another basket later (one egg for each month they’d known each other), Xuanyu finally found himself in the backyard. The deck was covered in hangings, lanterns, and twinkling fairy lights. And his fiancé sat there waiting for him, a large, ornate jeweled egg in his hand.

“How did you have time to plan all this?” Xuanyu said.

“There are entire binders devoted to our courtship,” Huaisang said. “You said you never got to participate in the Jin easter egg hunts.”

“This one is far more to my tastes,” Xuanyu said as he walked over to Huaisang. He left the full baskets of plastic eggs on the table and slid into Huaisang’s lap. “You’ve got me, you know. I don’t need the wooing.”

“I like the wooing,” Huaisang said. “You like it too, my golden pheasant, and you deserve it.”

Xuanyu laughed as he caressed Huaisang’s cheek. “I’m a golden pheasant today?”

Huaisang carefully put the jeweled egg to the side. He then rested his hands on Xuanyu’s hips. “With that hair of yours, perhaps I should call you my lilac-breasted roller?”

“No,” Xuanyu said.

“My nicobar pigeon?”

“Why do you know all of these?”

“My green-headed tanager?”

“Please, stop,” Xuanyu pleaded as he laughed.

“My blue bird of paradise?”

That sounded vaguely familiar, from one of the many nature documentaries they’d watched together.

“That’s the one the dances, isn’t it?” Xuanyu asked.

“Many of them dance,” Huaisang said.

“Right, but that’s the one goes all--” Xuanyu puffed up his cheeks and waved his arms about.

Huaisang cupped the back of his neck. “Not even a little bit, but I appreciate your mating dance.”

“Oh, well, thank you,” Xuanyu said.

Huaisang laughed softly as he ran a hand through Xuanyu’s hair, holding the strands up to the light. “It’s holo, bitch,” he joked.

“It’s iridescent, get it right,” Xuanyu corrected.

“It suits you,” Huaisang said. “Dare I say, I even prefer it to the pastels? The pastels are gorgeous but this almost reminds me of when we met. Your hair was indigo then.”

“I could barely speak a word to you,” Xuanyu said as he recalled that day.

“You spoke all the right ones,” Huaisang said. “Had me hooked from the start.”

Xuanyu had been worried, once, years ago, that it was just because he was pretty. That wasn’t an arrogant statement, he’d been told often enough in his life, since he was very young, just how pretty he was and it had always brought him attention--both good and bad. He hadn’t known much about Huaisang back then, but he knew of Nie Huaisang and how he liked to collect pretty things. He’d been worried that he was just another thing to add to that collection, but then Huaisang had started their slow and steady courtship. Made Xuanyu feel like an Austen heroine. Made Xuanyu feel appreciated in so many ways, all the big and little things.

And then he did things like this, when their time away was supposed to be for Huaisang to relax.

“You could’ve just ordered a pizza and left the lights on,” Xuanyu said.

“But this is so much more my style,” Huaisang insisted. He nuzzled Xuanyu’s chin. “And trust me, many of those easter eggs contain things that will bring us both some joy and relaxation.”

“And rest,” Xuanyu said.

Huaisang smirked. “Rest wasn’t my top priority.”

Xuanyu gaped at him. “There are sixty-five unread slips of paper in there.”

“Then we better order dinner and get started.”

[rctribvtns]

〔 JAIME LORENTE, 23, CIS MALE, PYROKINESIS 〕╰  ANDRÉS SERRANO  just  came  over  half - blood  hill .  you  know ,  the  child  of  HEPHAESTUS  who  was  claimed three months  ago ? i’ve  heard  chiron  say  that  he  is  INQUISITIVE & RESOURCEFUL ,  but  if  you  ask  the  aphrodite  kids ,  they’d  say  they’re  HOT-HEADED & STANDOFFISH .  i’d  say  they  remind  me  of  grease stains on dark coveralls, text messages left on read for 3-7 business days, stargazing on a tailgate in the heat of summer, and nicotine kissed lips ,  especially  since  they’re  NEUTRAL/AGAINST THE NEW CABINS .  

          hi  there,  hi  there,  hello  there  !! my  name’s  c,  i’m  old  as  hell  from  the  AST  time  zone,  and  this  is  my  trash  son  andrés.  i’m  going  to  keep  this  brief  bc  i’m  allergic  to  intros  but  even  as  i  say  that,  it’ll  probably  end  up  being  a  four  paragraph  essay.   apologies  in  advance.  

the  signs  were  always  there,  but  he  ignored  them.  call  it  naivety  or  ignorance,  but  everything  was  explained  away  with  rational  responses.  his  mother  couldn’t  see  the  monsters,  so  she  always  assumed  it  was  the  work  of  an  overactive imagination.  when  he  started  struggling  to  read  languages,  he  was  misdiagnosed  dyslexic  and  flunked  out  of  public  school  —  a  system  that  failed  him.   his  lighter  always  seemed  to  light,  even  though it  was  at  least  five  years  old,  but  he  never  thought  anything  about  it.   you  forget,  after  a  while.  no  one  questions  the  how’s  and  why’s  things  simply  work.

he  was  raised  by  a  single  mother.   they  never  had  much  money,  but  they  had  an  abundance  of  family;  he  was  an  only  child  but  his  aunt,  uncle,  and  six  of  his  cousins  lived  next  door  for  most  of  his  young  life.   he  never  really  felt  like  he  suffered,  not  having  his  dad  around,  because  he  had  a  strong  support  system  in  other  ways.

he  started  working  for  his  uncle  when  he  was  17.  he  might  have  struggled  to  read  but  he  was  a  genius  when  it  came  to  working  on  cars.  he  had  almost  a  sixth  sense  when  it  came  to  cars,  especially  on  how  to  fix  them  up,  and  he  was  a  quick  study  when  it  came  to  learning  the  tricks  of  the  trade.   the  pay  wasn’t  spectacular  but  he  knew  the  chances  of  getting  a  better  job,  or  any  job,  without  his  high  school  education  was  pointless.   he  made  the  choice  to  focus  on  what  he  was  good  at,  not  the  many  things  he  wasn’t,  for  the  sake  of  his  own  sanity.   IT  SURE  AS  HELL  MADE  HIM  HAPPIER.  

THEN  CAME  THE  CLAIMING

imagine  you  think  you  know  who  you  are.   you  have  these  ideas  about  yourself,  these  beliefs,  and  then  someone  bursts  in  like  the  kool  aid  man  and  tears  that  certainty  away  from  you.   when  he  was  claimed  as  the  son  of  hephaestus,  he  thought  it  was  a  joke.  he’d  laughed,  said  there  was  no  friggin  way,  and  had  been  shocked  and  pissed  when  he  found  out  it  was  true.   in  his  mother’s  defense,  she’d  never  known  about  the  truth  of  his  father.  it  was  as  much  a  shock  for  her  as  it  was  for  him.  

at  camp  half-blood,  andrés  isn’t  sure  he  really  belongs  there.  he  got  used  to  his  life,  liked  it  too for  the  most  part,  and  this  ‘demi-god’  business  feels  like  some  kind  of  get  rich  quick  scam.   all  in  all,  he’s  inherently  distrustful  —  especially  with  the  people  who  are  his  ...  siblings  ?   a  man’s  got  only  child  syndrome,  wyd.  

PERSONALITY

he’s  used  to  really  only  being  around  family,  or  people  he  trusts,  so  completely  out  of  his  element  he  comes  off  pretty  standoffish.  rude,  maybe,  or  anti-social  is  also  very  possible.  when  he  likes  you,  he  makes  sure  you  know  ...   and  he  can  be  a  flirt  when  he  wants  to  be.  

yes,  he  does  have  the  infectious  denver  laugh.  if  you  want  to  know  what  i  mean,  click  here.  (  warning:  possible  spoilers  for  la  casa  de  papel  /  money  heist  )

he’s  a  very  tactile  person.  his  hands  are  always  doing  something,  whether  it  be  running  through  his  hair,  rubbing  at  the  back  of  his  neck,  tapping  against  the  inside  of  his  arm,  or  playing  with  things  in  his  hands.  he  also  doesn’t  make  eye  contact  with  people  very  often  because  he  finds  it  uncomfortable.   when  he  knows  you,  trusts  you,  then  you  might  see  that  change.  

he’s  got  a  trigger  for  lying  and  hates  liars.  if  he  catches  you  in  a  lie,  especially  a  big  one,  there’s  going  to  be  trouble.  

he’s  not  the  sort  of  person  who  jumps  into  relationships.  the  few  serious  ones  he  ever  found  himself  in  probably  came  about  from  one  night  stands  that  just  never  ended.  no  strings,  no  grand  declarations  of  love,  just  ...  low  maintenance  relationships.   he’s  kind  of  an  intense  guy  —  also  pretty  guarded  —  so  i  feel  like  many  of  his  relationships  and  friendships  are  shallow  because  people  don’t  want  to  stick  around  long  enough  to  unlock  the  level  45  tragic  backstory.   he’s  used  to  being  underestimated,  or  written  off  because  he’s  poor  and  dumb,  so  while  it  makes  him  mad  (  and  he  might  pop  off  )  he  also  expects  it.  

he  has  a  very  short  fuse  and  a  wicked  temper.  it  isn’t  that  uncommon  to  see  him  taking  his  frustrations  out  on  walls,  or  the  old  boxing  bag  they  had  back  at  his  uncle’s.   he  doesn’t  punch  people  so  much,  not  unless  they’ve  really  done  something  to  deserve  it,  but  he  does  find  comfort  through  aggression  which  is  a  Choice  TM.  

ANYWAYS  YEAH  SO  I  DID  WRITE  A  4  PARAGRAPH  ESSAY.   IF  YOU  WANNA  PLOT  WITH  MY  DEVIL CHILD,  HMU  ON  DISCORD  @  jack the reaper#1764

[badbookreviewclub]

Complete Review: Insanity: Jeff the Killer by Neesha Nickleson

DISCLAIMER: There are spoilers in this review. I highly doubt you will have any plans to read this book, but if you don’t want it to be spoiled, just don’t read the review until after you’ve read the book. To take a break from Empress Theresa and the pain that it has been causing me, I decided to read a fanfiction that Neesha Nickleson, self-published and sold via Amazon. Insanity: Jeff the Killer is significantly shorter than Empress Theresa, at a grand total of 76 pages. On the Amazon listing, Nickleson admits in ‘Videos for this product’ section that she wrote the book when she was fifteen, which in itself is almost endearing to me. Apparently, she wrote it for a contest that Nickleson claims to have won. I’m not entirely sure what the contest was for, but kudos to her. Nickleson also comments that there’s a sequel to this book, however, I haven’t been able to find it.  Neesha if somehow by the will of the fates if you find this review; Please, I just want book two. When will you release book two for purchase? I need it in my life.  The Summary: “Bullies and liars beware: A new threat is arising. Naomi Jansen just wanted to have a normal carefree life until she met Jeff at summer camp. Jeff is a laid back teenage boy with a dark secret. Then one morning at camp, Naomi hears that one of her long time bullies, Mallory, was found dead in her cabin. Naomi suspects Jeff at first but then decides that he’s too sweet do something like that, until a series of events changes her mind and her outlook on sanity.”  This summary isn’t terrible, to be honest. I’ve read far worse, though personally there are a few things I don’t like about it. First of all, revealing that Naomi’s bully was killed. I know this isn’t much of a plot twist because it happens within the first couple of pages in the book, but it gets rid of a sense of mystery. Second, we don’t really know anything about the characters right off of the bat besides general characteristics. I would have preferred if Jeff’s characteristics were written from Naomi’s first impression, for example: “Jeff seemed like a laid back teenager, though when Naomi hangs out around him, the air feels off.” Not the best that could be done considering I literally just threw that out there, but there are small revisions that could be done to give more of a sense of mystery to the book and the characters without pulling from the content of the summary itself.  I do know that this book is quite literally about the Creepypasta, Jeff the Killer, so it isn’t as if anyone reading it has no idea who Jeff the Killer is, but I do feel like the point still stands. Just because a reader has an idea about the content of the book doesn’t give an author the excuse of revealing plot points in the summary. I do also understand that it was written when Nickleson was a fifteen-year-old, so I don’t hold much against her in that regard. Hell, I wrote shitty fanfiction when I was fifteen. However, if you are willing to publish your work online and even sell it, you are going to have to expect criticisms and reviews.  The Characters: Naomi Jansen - The main female lead, Neesha Nickleson’s original character. Jeff Woods - The main male lead, based heavily on if not is completely a mirror of the Creepypasta, Jeff the Killer. Liu Woods- Jeff’s brother, both in the story and in the world of Creepypasta. Based off of or mirrors the character of Liu Woods. Mallory - Naomi’s bully.  Randy - As per Nickleson’s descriptions, the “average-sized” skater boy. He’s the boss of Troy and Keith. Troy - the “fat” skater boy and can apparently run very fast. Keith - the “skinny” skater boy Plot Summary and Breakdown: Considering that the book is only 76 pages, there’s not much plot to it, but there is a plot. The entire book follows Jeff and Naomi around, from their first encounter at a summer camp to the ‘first day of school’ and finally to the moment when both of them snap and kill their families. It’s a fairly simple and straightforward plotline, which works to the advantage of the story at some points. At other points, however, the rapid pacing of the book can be incredibly confusing and makes little to no sense. There are a lot of logical gaps throughout the story that can leave a reader confused or holding their head in their hands, which I will go into as we delve into the storyline itself. Nickleson also has a tendency to flip between Jeff and Naomi’s perspective throughout the chapters, which is a problem within itself. Thankfully she does label in big and completely capitalized letters when she is switching perspectives, which makes it easier to follow along.  There can be a few problems with jumping perspectives in the middle of chapters because we lose connection with the character who was just narrating at times, though it can certainly help the book from becoming repetitive when you want to repeat a scene from a different perspective. In this case, however, it would have been best to completely write the book from third-person rather than jumping between first-person perspectives. First-person can work incredibly well for emotional impact and drawing the reader in, however, in my opinion, it is still possible to do that in a third-person perspective. Perhaps an author wouldn’t be able to do it as well, but in the case of Insanity: Jeff the Killer It would have worked just fine. We start off the book from Naomi’s perspective as her mom is dropping her off at Summer Camp. She is dropped off at a Summer Camp every single year, though this is the first year that she’s seen Jeff, so we could make the fairly logical guess that Jeff is new in town. Namoi’s first opinion of Jeff is that he’s a ‘weirdo’ for wearing a hoodie in the middle of summer. I honestly can’t blame Jeff for wearing a hoodie in the middle of summer because I do the exact same thing. Admittedly, the hoodie I wear in the middle of summer is a lightweight one, but I do. If I could go all year without ever having to stop wearing my jackets I would be so content (So, let’s stop global warming pls. It’s getting harder to wear jackets in the middle of summer. This is a terrible reason for wanting to stop global warming, but any reason to stop it is decent enough in my opinion). We don’t really get Jeff’s first impression of Naomi, but he does follow her and sit next to her to introduce himself because I guess she gave him a weird look. This is when we meet Mallory, who somehow already knows Jeff despite the fact that I thought he was new in town.  Mallory is a little asshole, ‘nuff said.  Just kidding, I have more to say. Mallory calls Jeff her “future husband Jeffy”. She also absolutely adores the color pink which we find out because she’s covered head-to-toe in pink. We also know that Mallory is Naomi’s longterm bully from the back summary, yet, she already knows who Jeff is despite the fact that I’m fairly certain that Jeff moved in. This was a little confusing for me, but I decided to just take it as a sign that Mallory had met Jeff when he arrived at camp and she decided right then and there that he would be her husband. It’s not entirely unreasonable for a teenage girl to say that about a boy that she finds attractive, right? I mean none of my friends ever said that about anyone that they found attractive, but it’s something that I’ve heard about happening. Mostly in movies, but I’m sure it happens elsewhere.  I think.  Maybe.  Anyways, Mallory basically attacks Naomi with a fucking pink and sparkly knife that her mom gave her. She cuts up Naomi’s arms, legs, back, and waist to prove that she’s better than her. This is where we learn that Mallory is a psychotic fucking bitch, and this is where Mallory kisses her life away. Naomi doesn’t tell anyone who could do something about it that Mallory did this to her and instead just fixes herself up. She does meet up with Jeff a little bit later and shows him what Mallory did, he feels bad about it because he just watched before passing out (I think).  A little later on Naomi goes to bed and has a dream about Jeff killing Mallory, we move on to the next chapter and SURPRISE Jeff killed Mallory and her entire cabin. Here’s where the first logical fail comes in; Rather than keeping everyone in the camp to be interviewed by the police or to keep the potential killer from running away, as soon as it is found out that Mallory and her entire cabin were brutally murdered, the camp decides to send them home early. From what I can gather, there’s a little voice in Jeff’s head that tells him to commit these violent acts, though it really only crops up when someone has hurt Naomi. This seems a little ridiculous to me considering that he literally just met her and as far as the book goes, it doesn’t seem like he had these violent tendencies before he knew her. However, Jeff doesn’t want her to find out that he was the murderer so when Naomi’s mom is giving them a ride home, he tries to hide the fact that there’s very clearly a bloodstain on the pocket of his white hoodie by saying that it’s spilled kool-aid. The bloodstain came from the knife he used to kill Mallory, which as far as I could figure out, isn’t a small knife. How Jeff got away with this, I will never ever know, nor do I think I could ever hope to know. Naomi excuses this and accepts it without question because she believes that Jeff is too sweet to have committed a brutal mass murder. I don’t know if this is naive or endearing that Naomi already seems to be falling for Jeff, though this is mostly from my own inference rather than any emotion that has been implied.  Emotion tends to be another problem throughout the book. There’s no emotion in it. The characters seem to be cold and blank slates, even when facing some pretty anxiety and adrenaline-inducing situations. Even when they’re potentially facing death, we don’t get much emotion out of it, and in this regard, the book tends to be pretty disappointing. The way that the plot is laid out, emotion is incredibly important to the story and so are their thoughts and opinions because it is supposed to be a total spiral into madness. When Jeff and Naomi both snap and lose their sanity, we don’t see that spiral, it’s sudden and jarring. There was no slow spiral or thoughts that circled down the drain faster and faster until both of them gave in. A little bit of that is implied with Jeff, which I’ll talk about later on, but the reader doesn’t get any of that from Naomi, making her sudden transition to insanity abrupt and with no foreshadowing other than it being blatantly stated on the back of the book.  However, I digress. Moving back onto the plot, we meet Liu when Jeff is dropped off at his own house. I assume Liu is around the same age as Jeff, though I’m not entirely sure on that point. This is were another logical fail comes in; Despite having been told only pages before that they were being sent home early from camp, apparently, the first day of school is tomorrow.  The rapid pacing of the book created this failure of logic and made me pause for a second to question just what I was reading. It only took a few seconds to remind myself that this was a book written by a fifteen-year-old and originally was posted as a fanfiction. Of course, that’s not to say that all fanfictions are bad, there are some absolutely amazing ones out there, but I do have yet to find one written by a fifteen-year-old that doesn’t have some error in logic. Nickleson just so happens to have more than a few errors, especially towards the end of the book.  Before the first day of school however, Jeff texts Naomi and tells her to go watch the news. So, she heads downstairs and turns it on. It’s a live report of Mallory’s mother accusing Naomi of killing Mallory. And, as it would turn out, they’re right out front of Naomi’s house as well which is rather convenient because they want to interrogate her on live TV and ask if she killed Mallory and why. Because, you know, having someone interrogated by the news rather than having the police interrogate them always goes well. Naomi exposes the cuts that Mallory gave her and essentially just calls Mallory a horrible person. There was no questioning here, the news reporter just accepting it without a single word and declaring Mallory a horrible person. Ultimately this whole episode and everything that Mallory has done is inconsequential to the rest of the book and everything is pointless.  I’m dragging on the longer side here, so I’ll try to speed things up so my review doesn’t end up as long as the actual book is. The first day of school comes and Jeff and Liu are waiting at the bus stop with Naomi. We meet the three skater boys here, Randy, Tony, and Keith. We realize that Jeff and Liu really are new to town because Randy tells them that the new kids have to pay a bus fee because they’re new. Rather than paying it though, they decide to fight. Jeff stabs Keith in the legs and the arms though this never really matters because Keith is fine. Jeff and Liu run to their house and Naomi runs to hers. A short while later Naomi shows up at Jeff’s house and claims to have knocked out the three boys with a metal baseball bat, though right after she did Randy somehow cut open her arm. Blah, blah, blah, they watch a movie, eat some pizza, and then Jeff makes his love confession to her by kissing her. Naomi reciprocates the love and BOOM I guess they’re dating now, how lovely.  Despite the fact that this is supposedly the first day of school nobody is questioning just why they’re playing hooky from school and just accept the fact that they’re not at school. A little while later they go back to Naomi’s house and we learn that Naomi’s mom was home the entire time. So why she didn’t go to her mom for help is beyond me. Naomi shoots at Randy with a bb gun and they all run off after coming after her and Jeff again. She then goes back to Jeff’s house with him for reasons even I don’t get because it seems like they’re just jumping between houses at this point. Liu gets arrested here after saying that he was the one who beat up the three boys, covering for Jeff. Jeff is upset about it and for some reason, Naomi is as well because she thinks that she could have had proof to stop them from arresting Liu despite the fact that she said only moments before that he’ll spend two days in jail at most. Liu doesn’t get a trial for this whole thing, which only makes it more confusing why he’s spending a few days at a Juvenal Detention Facility.  Related story time: When I was 12 I got into a big fight with some of the kids, enough so that the cops were involved. It was mostly just some throwing of hands and the boys shouting “punch her in the boob.” It happened because one of them, threatened to grope my 8-year-old sister, and as the big sister of the family, I couldn’t let that happen. I called him an idiot and we got into a fight. Nobody was arrested, nobody got into trouble with the police, just with their parents. There were a few bruises and a couple days later at school, the boy came up and apologized to me.  Look, I know Keith got stabbed in Jeff’s fight, but honestly, it’s never mentioned again and Keith runs like he didn’t get stabbed at all and acts like he didn’t ever get stabbed so I honestly don’t know if Nickleson remembers that Jeff stabbed Keith. As such, I think it’s a little ridiculous that Liu, a child, was arrested, and sent to Juvie without trial, for a fight when the three skater boys weren’t arrested either.  Moving along from that whole mess, Jeff and Naomi go to an 8-year-old’s birthday party because Jeff was invited by the kid’s mother after Jeff and his family moved into the neighborhood, and Naomi babysat the kid. Randy and Co. show up to the party and Naomi send all the children inside. The Co. have guns and are aiming them at the adults so they don’t try to interfere. Randy lunges at Jeff and Jeff fucking murders him. Keith obviously is upset by this and breaks a bottle of vodka over Jeff’s head after dropping his gun. I don’t know why he had a bottle of vodka or where he got it, but he has one. He then chases Jeff upstairs and to the bathroom and another fight breaks out. A bottle of bleach from a bathroom shelf falls onto Jeff and douses him in bleach. Keith points out that Jeff is now covered in bleach and vodka and proceeds to light him on fire. Bitch what the  f u c k.  I will admit, I do think that this is a creative solution as to why Jeff has bleached skin and does follow along well enough with the actual story of Jeff the Killer, so I am inclined to believe that Nickleson either did a bit of light research into his story or had some prior knowledge about it. This is one thing that I will give the book kudos on.  Jeff wakes up at the hospital, after the bandages are removed he finds out that his skin is bleached and he says that he loves it. Naomi apparently loves it as well and nobody in his family concerned in the slightest that Jeff loves it. We find out that Keith was caught though Tony managed to evade the police because as the reader learns earlier in the book, despite being larger in size, Tony can run like the fucking wind. This becomes a problem later on in the book because Tony comes back and shoots Naomi. Yes, Tony shoots Naomi despite insisting much earlier on that she wasn’t part of the dispute, only Jeff was. Jeff hears the gunshot and grabs the biggest knife he can find and from what I can tell, he murders Tony as well. There’s a little bit of a typo in this section, as instead of saying that Jeff murdered Tony, Nickleson says that Jeff murdered Keith. This threw me off a little bit before I realized that it was a typo. Jeff goes to the hospital though in the ambulance that Naomi’s mother called when she heard the gunshot. Because when you hear a gunshot, your first instinct is to call an ambulance and not go see what happened to see if everyone is fine first. This is really the first bit of emotion we see in the book because Jeff is pacing back and forth so much that Liu, who is out of juvie at this point, points out that Jeff is going to wear a hole into the floor. Turns out, Naomi is fine because the bullets missed her brain and her heart by a millimeter. Now I’m not a doctor, but I’m at least 80% sure that could still kill you. Not only would a bullet near the brain shatter the skull and cause hemorrhaging from the distance it was, but it would screw a lot up. The impact of a bullet that close to your heart would probably still do a lot of damage as well, and yet, Naomi is released from the hospital that night. I’m more than certain that the doctors would have kept her for observation, but I suppose not.  Before Naomi gets shot, we do get a decently sweet scene of Jeff dancing with Naomi, fulfilling a daydream she had of herself and Jeff dancing to a song called Fallen Angel. The artist of the song is never stated but apparently, it’s really good music for dancing and is appropriate enough for Naomi to daydream of herself and Jeff dancing to it in a ballroom. If anyone would care to fill me in on what song it could be, it would be much appreciated. The scene is short-lived though and doesn’t have as much emotion put into it as I would have liked. I think that it could be a beautifully sweet scene, though it isn’t. It isn’t a beautifully sweet scene simply because Nickleson doesn’t write descriptively enough to fill us in on what the characters are feeling. She tells us what they are feeling occasionally, but even then, it’s only on occasion and a story like this could greatly benefit from having emotions tied into it.  After Naomi gets shot and released from the hospital Jeff snaps. He can’t see how beautiful he is when his eyes are closed and when he’s sleeping, so he goes and burns off his eyelids and cuts his cheeks so he’s always smiling (as per the actual story of Jeff the Killer). He then murders his parents and stabs Liu. I’m not sure if Liu actually dies or not as in his story, he survives though Jeff cuts a smile into his face rather than just stabbing him. Jeff then goes over to Naomi’s house, potentially to kill her and her parents, I’m not sure. He finds Naomi playing the piano and when she turns to him, she has “a cut along both of her eyes and a heart carved into her cheek.” I assume that she has a line cut over the top and bottom of her eye, rather than on her eyes because holy fuck that would be intense. But she reassures Jeff that she finds him beautiful still and shows him that she murdered her parents too. Jeff and Naomi go missing after this and are only seen again when they show up at an interview with a ten-year-old boy whose parents they murdered. They had nearly killed him though they didn’t get the chance, so they decide to take action and killed him and the interviewer in the middle of the interview. Jeff and Naomi then make a promise to come and kill everyone else.  In the epilogue of the book, they show up to Slender Mansion, where they are warmly greeted by our friend, Slenderman whose movie in 2019 holds many nostalgic feelings for me but also sucked ass. If you don’t know what the Slender Mansion is, you can read about it here. It introduces you to what it is and is essentially just a giant rant about why it shouldn’t exist because it basically tells the canon of the creepypasta universe to fuck off as it does what it wants. It’s rather amusing, actually. Rating: 4/10 Ending Thoughts:  Overall, it was an enjoyable read when you didn’t think about it too much. It brought me back to my days of loving Creepypasta and everything to do with it. It was an endearing fanfiction to read, even if not written amazingly well. It was still better than Empress Theresa and was a much-needed break from that shit show of a book. I also want book two Neesha. You said you had book two and it was better than this one. Where is book two, Neesha?  I don’t know what I’m going to post next because I am genuinely dreading reading the next portion of Empress Theresa. It will probably take me longer to get through it as I want to do a couple of chapters in one go. Up next I’ll probably ready a book called The Rose Council, written by a man I absolutely despise. I’ll explain more in that post when I get around to doing it. Or perhaps, I’ll write a review on an actually good book for once.