#cabbage queens

[child-of-hurin]

Devastated that I can’t reblog that post about Gen having mother issues (which I agree with wholeheartedly) because it is written in a way that implies that he’s into Irene because he sees something mother-ish in her (cringe)

[leafcabbage]

IM SORRY??? CAN I WHAT?!?!

my new profile pic really makes that look like a warning... the sand fox is now following you... looking at your posts

[fursasaida]

reaffirming my love of cellar vegetables by digging out a cabbage that's been in the back of my fridge for anywhere from 2-4 months (possibly longer, tbh), slicing off the dodgy stem end, and happily making a very nice salad

[inthecityofgoodabode]

December 2023: Christmas

We started the day with mimosas garnished with pomegranate seeds:

Look who stopped by for their Christmas dinner:

Christmas dinner. All the vegetables are from our garden. We used this recipe for the honeynut squash:

[rourouxiaobao]

The Power Of soup Compels You Ch9

I've finally returned (slooooowly) to my WIP fics! Starting with a Soupfic update!!

Link to fic here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35896033/chapters/126341815

Twitter promo tweet: https://x.com/rourouxiaobao/status/1701543222206751149?s=20

[sibyl-of-space]

Was very nervous that my tortoise was impacted or unwell because she did not touch her food AT ALL yesterday and that is very unlike her.

Turns out she was just throwing a tantrum. I'd been giving her some cabbage with her meals as of recent because I have cabbage, and despite it not being the best for tortoises she went FUCKING FERAL OVER THAT SHIT. I needed to stop though bc it's not supposed to be a major staple for her, so yesterday there was no cabbage. And she turned her nose up at it.

I know she was throwing a tantrum and isn't actually ill because I just gave her exactly the same cabbage-less food tonight as last night, and she's gobbling it up as normal 🙄

[mysummerchoi]

Sshhh there there cabbage-chan it's alright. It's the queen. Just agree, 'kay?

[dabihawksluvr]

I just wanna have a farm full of cabbages T^T

[tapakah0]

Okay! I don't know where you got the idea from and my best guess is that your brain is connected to mine via bluetooth but.

Me and Hoddie have a royal au and your animation made me think of it again.

Nothing crazy special, but...ah...I should probably give a little context yeah...hmm.

Uh, okay. There's a kingdom. whose king and queen have died, leaving behind several possible heirs who are not their direct children. Right now, the king's first general is sitting on the throne, because the power of the army is, you know, a pretty powerful argument in a fight for the throne, right? This creepy regent is Cass. And Cass came to power thanks to Hoddie, who's basically the king's heir too, but she's pretty distant and her chances of the throne are quite slim. This has made her a professional rat and back stabber. The whole palace is busy weaving intrigue and destroying each other in a competition for power. Contests in cunning and sneakiness. A maximally intellectually uncomfortable environment in general.

Until Hoddie finds the true heiress. The king's blood daughter, to whom the throne should rightfully belong.

Problem? The problem is that the heiress needs to be two years older to be old enough to rule. And Hoddie and Cass' goal is to make sure she lives to that age in an environment where every other person wants to frame or kill her.

That heiress is you, Tap. But we couldn't think of what you'd look like in this au ahaha.

MHHMMM I SEE ONCE IN A WHILE BRAIN BLUETOOTH IS A GOOD THING you left me a window for my part and I grabbed this opportunity with sharp teeth Since there was no mention of my part, I have the audacity to add my own version. Did I understand correctly that my existence as an heiress was not known? It would be strange if the king was not looking for me, if I was the only heir (by blood), which means they were hoping for a new child, or already had plans for an indirect heir, or wanted to hide me. What other power is there, besides the king and the army, that holds the common people? Church. The king could have sent me to be trained as a priestess in order to gain support from them (either I was not considered worthy of receiving the throne in the future, which is why they preferred to hide me, or the king so badly needed their support that he was ready to sacrifice his only blood daughter) . Thus, from a young age, the beauty of a non-existent world somewhere beyond the heavens was drummed into my head and, in general, “God speaks all our actions.” I have an inconspicuous appearance, a position above a simple servant, but such priests are usually considered to be the daughters of high nobles, but not the king himself, which is why not everyone could know who I really was. Thus, they forgot about my existence ~ After the death of the king and all the heirs, the church quickly realized what to do next, and crushed me to itself, hiding me from the world until I reached the age of succession to the throne. (But children could take the throne under a regent. Could Hoodi become my regent as one of the older contenders for the throne?) So, back to the turmoil. Hoodie found me at church. Since childhood, my worldview could have changed greatly under the influence of the church, so, well, you will have to hammer a lot into my head, in addition to the throne’s education (You know... it's bit complicated to make a human sona not as a stupid little ball XDD... it literally can't get a shape at this point... maybe you will place a real bunny as the new king? It will be eating cabbage 24/7 and everyone will be happy)

[foone]

the bi woman's cishet boyfriend at pride

A great thread from mastodon by vx. princess size_t queen grace (@BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com) which I got permission to share here, since I thought some of y'all would like it:

"is the bi woman's cishet boyfriend allowed at pride" feels like one of those logic puzzles. like i have to get him across the river but i can't leave him alone with the cabbage

if the bi woman's cishet boyfriend crashes at pride, where do they bury the survivors

The Bisexual Woman's Cishet Boyfriend is a fallen london character

the polyamorous bisexual woman has three cishet boyfriends. one always lies, one always tells the truth, and one alternates between the two.

if a bisexual woman brings her cishet boyfriend to pride, whose job is it to install debian

anyways, my actual take is that, like, how would you even know. is he wearing a shirt that says "don't get any ideas, homos". i have to assume he's an ally

sorry, lady. your boyfriend's gonna have to suck a dick if he wants in

if a bisexual horse woman brings her cishet boot to pride, does love still win

if a bisexual woman opens a door to reveal a goat at pride, should you switch your door to increase your chances of choosing her cishet boyfriend

[whendeeplybored]

I just wanted to share some thoughts and have a pleasant conversation about Fire Lady Katara.

I am a zutara shipper but my idea of them is more like they get together in their 20s and have the most passionate romance and then break up because of their duties (Katara goes back to the South pole becomes chief/ Zuko stays as fire lord in the Fire Nation). Then, when old, they both step down and get back together and maybe brew some tea at iroh's old tea shop in Ba Sing Se until they die at the same time peacefully or something like this. So, obviously, Fire Lady Katara isn't my favourite trope, but I am not necessarily against it. It's cute.

Still, I always see people being so violently against that trope and even going as far as calling it racist and reductive and I didn't really get where they got these ideas from until I saw the reasonings.

The main one is "the fire nation killed her people". And, fair enough, I see where people are coming from with that but, at the same time, this is very surface level criticism and above all she would never be the Fire Lady to that Fire Nation but to a reformed one anyway. Zuko worked hard his entire life to decolonise and right the wrongs of the Fire Nation. History should never be forgotten, of course, but it also should not shape how one feels about a place forever. Places, countries, are always changing, developing and evolving. People having their mindset on Fire Nation = wrong is just .... A flawed way of understanding the show/ season 3 imo. Especially when the fire nation changed drastically under Zuko's reign. So Katara would never have to be the queen of a racist and genocidal regime because the fn left all that behind. She would be the fl of a fire nation working on moving past that and improving themselves. And the main perpetrator of all the reforms pushing these changes forward would be her husband. Therefore I genuinely can't see how this came to mind to some people it's not like she's marrying ozai during the war.

I've also seen people say that it is not a real role and Katara would end up with no political influence and just being a pretty girl in Zuko's arms and to this I have to say...Do you understand Katara as a character ? She could be a cabbage marchant and start a revolution in two days! I mean even if the court wanted her to shut up and be Zuko's pretty doll.. she never would !? And nobody would be able to stop her!!! She would probably invite herself to meetings, have Zuko vouch for her anytime she spoke and have the time of her life insulting old men, debating with them and countering their stupid ideas with the tact she always had. She actually would be perfect at this and probably would be promoted to Fire Lord within two weeks of being Fire Lady let's be real.

I hope this made sense haha. If you see this tell me what you think! Let's have a civilised conversation.

[weird-obsessed-girl]

Bagginshield Fic Rec

I can’t believe I’ve had such an intense revival into The Hobbit Fandom after being obsessed with the movies when they came out just over 10 years ago now. There’s just some fandoms that have consistently amazing fanfics that are written beautifully and with such interesting concepts.

Some of these are a bit silly and cracky but i think that’s the appeal of The Hobbit, it’s a bit more cheerful than LOTR (vehemently ignoring Battle of the Five Armies)

So below is a list of fics I have loved reading organised by word count smallest to largest.

If you have any fics that you’ve read and don’t see here please share them with me! P.S, if you need more fics to read after these please check out the author’s other works.

Fanfiction Title - Author

Tags, description of fic | word count | rating

And Down the Road I Goes - pibroch (littleblackdog)

Kid!fic, mpreg, humour, dwobbits, beard problems | 1.3k | T

All That Glitters - BeautifulFiction

Everyone lives, post-BAFTA, Dwarven culture and customs, Dwarven jewellery | 1.5k | G

Truth - alkjira

Body image issues, post-BAFTA, everybody lives, Dwarven beauty standards | 1.9k | T

Brethren, Braids and a Bothersome Burglar - Frankensteins_Monster

Unintentional Dwarven courting, and then intentional after communication is cleared up, Hair Braiding | 2.3k | T

There is A Child - smileybagel

Foresight, canonical character death, Thorin POV | 2.7k | T

Of the King and Consort’s Portraits - undomiel (dolcewrites)

Cultural differences, painting portraits, Erebor and Shire Parallels, domestic fluff | 3.4K | T

Shorn - Avelera

Mourning ritual, Dwarf culture and customs, misunderstandings, pre-slash, Long-beards mentioned! 3.5k | G

A Chance to Make It Right - smileybagel

Thorin is offered a second chance, magical dreams of future children, second part to “There is A Child” | 3.6k | G

The Proper Way To Call You Mine - Fantasyinallforms

Hair braiding, post-BAFTA, misunderstandings, Fili and Kili meddling, getting together, jealous Thorin | 3.6k | T

And in our love u see golden things - Seungshi03

Goldsickness as a mental health condition, domestic fluff, consort Bilbo | 3.7k | G

Riddles in the Dark Brought into the Light - Lucigoo89

Everyone lives, post-BAFTA, PTSD, loooove fics where the trauma from the journey is included, background Dwalin/Nori | 3.8k | G

In More than the Wisdom of Years - jezebel_rising

Dis POV, everyone lives, reunions, Dis and Bilbo friendship | 4.2k | Not rated

A Dwarven Beauty - bevel_bee

Dwarven beauty standards, Bilbo is considered very attractive, but he’s very oblivious to the compliments, post-BAFTA | 4.6k | G

The Seven Gifts - snowmissus (soul_of_blaze)

Dwarf and hobbit courting, awkwardness, Bilbo remains in Erebor, miscommunication | 5.1k | G

The Stone’s Gift - SilverSkiesAtMidnight

Established relationship, consort Bilbo, “the Dwarven equivalent of cabbage patch hobbits”, dwarves made from literal stone, unplanned pregnancy | 5.2k | T

One Remedy for Gold Sickness (or maybe two) - randi2204

Bilbo uses an ancient hobbit remedy for greedy folks, flabbergasted dwarves | 5.8k | T * need to have an Ao3 account

Better an ugly face than an ugly mind - unpeumacabre

Dwarven beauty standards (and hobbit ones), Thorin POV | 6.1k | T

A Minor Problem - fideliant

Smut, thorin finds out Bilbo’s age, obliviousness to different species’ life expectancies | 6.4K | E

Bruises on the Heart - thehufflepuffhobbit

5 + 1 times, soulmate au, Thorin POV, bruises, sharing a bed, during the journey | 7.8k | E

Clue-finder - TheGrayKnight

Post-BAFTA, Dwarven courting, cultural differences | 9k | G

Queen Under the Mountain - benny_Laur

Character death (not really), Dis POV, I LOVE DIS, Requited love, Kili definitely should not be in charge of communications | 11k | Not rating

Call You Home - northerntrash

Hobbit culture, including hidden names (I like the hobbit side as it’s a popular trope that dwarves have hidden names), Thorin’s puppy-eyes, the company | 11.9K | Not rated

Planting a Hobbit - northerntrash

Everyone lives, post-BAFTA, homesickness, domestic fluff, Thorin builds Bilbo a garden trope! 13k | Not rated

Forget-Me-Not - kerkusa, LordOfTheRazzles

Established relationship, post-BAFTA, healing Thorin causes temporary amnesia, Dwarf and Hobbit courting (again) | 14k | G

Defying Death (or at least the ones in charge) - Lucigoo89

I have yet to read this yet but it looks very promising! Bilbo has died and now it’s time for him to smuggle himself into Mahalia Halls to see his love again | 15.1k | T

Ere Break of Day - alexaprilgarden

During the journey, falling in love, Dwarven Ones, soulmates, everyone lives, angst | 15.6k | E

The Different Shades of Bilbo’s Love - SunnyRose

Kid Bilbo wants to be friends with Thorin, consenting adult romance later on, friends to lovers, flower language, Belladonna Took! 17.5k | G

I have loved you and you have not known it - KaavyaWriting

Miscommunication, the company come up with a way of making friends with a hobbit that is inaccurate, jealous Thorin, during the journey | 17.7k | G

You Got Me - drunkonwriting

Company-centric, dwarf culture, fluff, during the journey, friendship fic | 18.9k | G

Gardening - The Feels Whale (miscellea)

Bilbo returns to Shire, Kid!fic, cabbage patch hobbits, Bilbo’s under the impression Thorin died (he’s wrong) | 19.7k | T

My Princess, My Love, Marry Me! - mordelle

Alt universe, Princess Thorin visits the Shire, pinning Bilbo, Thorin is considered ugly by Dwarven beauty standards, smut | 36.3k | E

[revleftshark]

Watch VisionQuest be:

Vision. His twin boys. His wife. His wife's wife. His wife's wife's wife. His wife's wife's son with his wife's wife's wife. His son's boyf. A cabbage addicted familiar with beef for life with his wife's wife's wife whom he keeps referring to as a cabbage worm because his witch is his cabbage queen. His mind reading son's other mother. His mind reading son's other father. His speedster son's other parent.

And his wife's wife's wife and son happen to be Death and Kid Death.

His quest is to help them all with their trauma before Christmas.

Holidays gonna be great!

[bookofthegear]

You take a cautious step forward. The soles of your boots make a quiet ripping sound on the sticky floor. It’s probably dangerous, but you have to get a better look.

Yep, that’s clockwork all right. The whole hive is mechanical, although it doesn’t act like it. You wonder how on earth it works. Is there a Queen somewhere laying clockwork eggs? Or are workers building them in the deep reaches of the hive?

For that matter, where are they getting the nectar down here?

You’re contemplating the logistics when a bee runs into you from behind. It latches onto your sleeve. Its wings move in a ratcheting motion, slowing, then stop. You have the feeling that it has run down.

Incredibly delicate clockwork form the body and even more delicate wires trace the veins on the wings. You can see what looks like a tiny screw in the middle of its back that might be a winder, but you have nothing delicate enough to wind it with. The tip of Grandma’s stabbing knife is much too wide. Hmm.

The other bees don’t seem to have noticed its plight.

[sunbookie]

"I woke up early on my born day; I'm 20, it's a blessin' The essence of adolescence leaves my body, now I'm fresh and My physical frame is celebrated 'cause I made it One quarter through life, some godly-like thing created Got rhymes 365 days annual, plus some Load up the mic and bust one, cuss while I pus from My skull, 'cause it's pain in my brain vein, money maintain Don't go against the grain, simple and plain

When I was young at this, I used to do my thing hard Robbin' foreigners, take they wallets, they jewels and rip they green cards Dipped to the projects, flashin' my quick cash And got my first piece of ass, smokin' blunts with hash Now it's all about cash in abundance Niggas I used to run with is rich or doin' years in the hundreds

I switched my motto; instead of sayin', "Fuck tomorrow!" That buck that bought a bottle could've struck the lotto Once I stood on the block, loose cracks produce stacks I cooked up and cut small pieces to get my loot back Time is illmatic, keep static like wool fabric Pack a 4-matic to crack your whole cabbage"....

-Nasir Bin Olu Dara, The Poet Laureate From Queens

Life's A Bitch, Illmatic, 1994

Legendary.

[iamnotshazam]

Aragorn and Arwen have their son Eldarion twenty years after their wedding, and at least two or more daughters. That's the extent of canon info about their family after LotR. If we're going by what Tolkien's ghost would think is canonical pseudo-medieval gender roles, that's twenty years where the Reunited Kingdom has no heir.

Which is fine for Peredhel-turned-mortal Arwen, when elves can go centuries between having kids, and Dúnadan Aragorn, who knows he's got another 80-100 years in the tank before he *coughs politely* can't empty the tank. The Arnor Dúnedain, who for generations as an entire people have been crashing on Elrond's couch while larping at still having a kingdom, would understand this intuitively. But the people of Gondor (only a small percentage of which I think are Dúnedain?) may not quiiiiite understand this, not completely internalized it.

So they are hovering around Arwen, this beautiful alien creature that just landed in their backyard and snapped up the most available bachelor before he even came on the market, and she sometimes says outrageous things like "oh, I remember King Eärendur's wife liked this cookie recipe" and the servants and guests at tea cannot help but share a Look because that was 2160+ years ago, and does someone have to ask her if . . . if she knows what sex is?

In a pseudo medieval society it is the queen's duty to bear an heir, but like, she was raised an elf. Can we pressure her like we do our own kind into having grandbabies ASAP, or will she turn us into frogs? It's possible there are women who go through their entire reproductive years in between when Arwen has these kids. If Eldarion is her first then gossip in Minas Tirith for those twenty years must have been insane, waiting for an heir. Do elves even breed like we do? Did Beren and Lúthien spawn Dior Eluchíl in a pond? Did Tuor have to carry Eärendil like a seahorse? Do we have to catch a stork in the cabbage patch? Is Aragorn gonna have to lay eggs? What's the hold up?