grassiestgnoll

[grassiestgnoll]

Y’all I got the funniest email from the BioWare Gear store today regarding my preordered nug and I just had to copy and paste it here because this shit is hilarious

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There is no "right" way to tell a fan that there is an issue with their order...so let's skip past the awkward introductions and just jump in with both feet.

Recently, we were contacted by the folks at Sanchee about our latest order of Squeaking Nugs they were providing to us. When they got the shipment from the manufacturing plant, there was a issue with those cute pink Nugs.

You see, instead of the normal dark pink spots, these little guys have black spots. There was lots of shock and dismay, but then they found this note in the crate...

“Greetings Adored Readers!

NugWatch (the only scholarly dispatch all about that most noble of creatures) is here with an incredible update! We recently received news about a colony of Nugs found living on an island off the southern coast of Rivain, in a series of caves north of the city of Llomerryn. Llomerryn (as you’re no doubt aware) currently serves as a port of ill-repute for the Felicisima Armada.

There’s some debate over how this colony of nugs came to be on the island, but we at NugWatch have theorized that some sailors in years past brought them to the island (either as pets or provisions) and lost of track of them, and the Nugs, being the incredibly adorable survivors that they are, have thrived. What isn’t a matter of debate is that, while undeniably cute, this group of Nugs is having a negative effect on the native flora and fauna of the island. Luckily, with the help of a powerful friend from Orlais (and after a series of negotiations with a captain whose name I shan’t transcribe here for the sake of propriety) we were able to secure all of the nugs for transport and adoption to loving homes across Thedas!

It should be stated that there appear to be several minor differences apparent in this colony when compared to the common nug you’re all familiar with. Most notably, the spots on their hind-quarters are considerably darker than on their mainland cousins. Less stark, but no less fascinating, the flesh of their inner-ears appears to be somewhat darker as well, and their overall skin tone seems faintly deeper, too. We haven’t yet been able to figure out the cause of these slight differences (though we suspect being fed off of scraps from the privateers… unique diets has played a role, at least in part.

Regardless, we know it won’t affect that love and affection our readers will show to these delightful companions, and we urge you to look among them and see if there’s one (or perhaps more) you’d like to adopt into your family. Take a look today and help us get all of these lovable little scamps to good homes!”

So, now you know that we were sent some very rare and uncommon Nugs instead of our normal Squeaking Nug. The question is now, do you wish to accept your amazing new Black Spotted Nug, or would you prefer to receive a refund for you order.

If You Want A Refund:

All you need to do is contact our Customer Service team and request your refund prior to 3/11. They can be reached at https://gear.bioware.com/pages/customer-service

If You Want Your Nug:

You 've got it easy. You can do absolutely nothing and your nug will be sent to you after the deadline expires.

PLEASE NOTE:

While we might be having a little fun with this announcement - we certainly aren't taking this issue lightly. Both Sanchee and the BioWare Gear Store are very upset about the breach in trust we've committed with this manufacturing mistake. Please accept our most sincere apologies. We hope that we can earn your trust agin in the future.

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They fucking made up lore to go with their manufacturing error I can’t even take it

Anyway catch me snuggling my rare and adorable black spotted nug in the near future

[grassiestgnoll]

[grassiestgnoll]

one thing I love about Pinterest is the comments.

you'll see a post of a Tumblr screenshot, and there will be a comment saying: this is Michaelangelo and Raphael

and I have to then deal with the idea of someone seeing a deep quote and thinking of the ninja turtles, like that won't flip my brain inside out or something

[grassiestgnoll]

"i sure hope no elven deity breaks free from their prison in the fade and starts wreaking havoc on thedas"

the nefarious ghilan'nain:

[grassiestgnoll]

[grassiestgnoll]

preachers daughter, it's one of my favourite albums because every song fucking hits, and the narrative is just so good.

it bothers me that you often don't really hear about people having a "favorite album" the way they might have a favorite movie or favorite video game

[grassiestgnoll]

my current dnd character is a soulknife/zealot barbarian gnoll, and it's been decided she's an absolute menace

enjoy my bad art

[grassiestgnoll]

I hope that if Lavellan and Solas get a romantic scene, we get to hear the Lost Elf theme again.

I want my heart ripped from my chest and fed to wolves.

[grassiestgnoll]

the deep roads, my beloved, you are the best part of origins by a country mile.

the circle, however, yuck. stay away from me.

I just wanted my mutuals to know my unpopular opinion and it's that I love the Deep Roads. As a place and as a concept. I love when the stories and games take the protagonists to the literal darkest and most abandoned places in Thedas, full of spooks and questionable lore that we never quite get to the bottom of.

[grassiestgnoll]

sure, life is hard, but at least I'm not Hawke

[grassiestgnoll]

I genuinely love it when people make the comparison to medieval times in fantasy.

Like, I'm sorry, but who the fuck said this is the medieval times? Oh the swords, and plate armour? Those are there because it's COOL. Now be quiet and watch this wizard tear a hole in the fabric of reality.

Seeing some bad takes on there being top surgery scars in Veilguard because there wasn’t top surgery in the 1500s as if that meant anything at all.

Like it’s a fantasy setting bbygirl. It’s not medieval times, it’s a fantasy world. If there’s magic that can tear open the barrier between the world of spirits and the material world (or put it up) then there’s a dude out there who can lop a guys tits off. Then the guy can throw back a healing potion and be good as new, except now no boobies. Wow. Magic.

[grassiestgnoll]

Love seeing people throw around accusations of retconning when in actuality they just weren’t paying attention.

[grassiestgnoll]

For Dragon Age fans,

word of warning to anyone who doesn't usually venture outside of this website in terms of social media:

do not look at the comments

if you don't want to see rampant transphobia, homophobia, etc. do not look at the comments

I wanted to watch the character creator video and I saw some of the most abhorrent comments I've seen in a while. genuinely disgusted me.

[grassiestgnoll]

griffin, based on a tile I really liked at the Met Cloisters

[grassiestgnoll]

maybe this will get me killed, but I immediately thought of plaidweave when my friend showed me Taylor's outfit

[grassiestgnoll]

Spoilers for The Last Flight

to add to this, it's not necessarily confirmed that Valya and the other wardens/wardens-to-be told the other Grey Wardens about the hatchlings straight away. They might have waited a while, or maybe the higher ranking wardens kept it a secret until they had another generation. The initial hatchlings could be fully mature and had more offspring by Veilguard, which Assan could be a part of. I hope they don't retcon the timeline though.

Valya didn't even want the First Warden to know about them, she knew he'd politicise them. I'm super excited to find out what happened after The Last Flight. She does agree that the Wardens should hold the responsibility of safeguarding the griffons though, so there's space for ambiguity in the books ending as to what happens.

Griffons coming back is a huge deal, they're living war machines. The Wardens would HAVE to keep them a secret to the general public, and maybe even lower ranking wardens. Pure speculation though! Anyone correct me if I'm getting anything wrong.

Do we know how long it takes griffons to reach maturity? Assan looks smallish still, yet the eggs were hatched around the time of the mage rebellion so that would make him about 10 years old, unless they retcon the timeline so he and his siblings are actually a lot younger?

[grassiestgnoll]

and if he does, I'm gonna scream

if Assan doesn’t wag his tail like a puppy I’m gonna scream