#c: tau

[neptunedestiny]

Tau Ceti Characters

Tau Ceti, b, g, c, h, d, e, f, i

[funboxsupreme]

Thinking about a few instances where I've seen Imperium fans complain about people being critical of Imperium fans and acting like Imperium fans are the only people to get this treatment by the fandom.

There's a few things wrong with this line of reasoning, first of all being that Imperium fans tend to be extremely vocal about criticizing other factions, notably Eldar, Chaos, and Tau. As a noted Chaos fan, I have to deal with people constantly telling me the traitors aren't worthy of my sympathy, that they deserved their fates, and the loyalists are all so much better and cooler and have bigger dicks. After a while, it gets really fucking grating when you try to have a discussion or just say you like a traitor character only for someone to butt in and explain to you why they suck. Eldar fans have to deal with Imperium fans constantly talking about the Birth of Slaanesh, while Tau fans have to deal with Imperium fanboys mad that Tau have better tech, better living conditions, and that a Tau powerplayer beat their army that week.

To act like Imperium fans get more backlash than those three factions combined... Well, in some ways, I suppose they do. But you gotta remember what the Imperium fans are doing. Constantly playing up the Imperium, decrying other factions, constantly justifying the Imperium's shitty government while not realizing the kind of ideology they are accidentally justifying.

I wouldn't begrudge people for being suspicious or critical of Imperium fans when the fandom tends to act Like That and makes little to no effort to be more empathetic towards their fellow fans. You don't need to bring in game rivalries out into the real world.

[sukanjari]

KERANI PEJABAT (PART 1)

Aku kerja sebagai executive di bahagian pertanian di Timur Malaysia. Dalam Pejabat aku ni x ramai mana pun perempuan, kalau ada pun jaga bahagian admin Pejabat je. Ada dalam 7 orang je perempuan dalam office ni. Aku memang agak mesra dengan semua kerani2 kat sini. Dalam ramai2 ni, 6 orang dah kahwin, 1 jer yang belum kahwin. Mesti korang ingat aku akan try yg single tu kan, tp takkkk.

Aku duk berkenan kat satu perempuan ni, korang pun boleh Teka. Ya, dia bini orang. Persona bini orang ni lain bosskuu. Ira namanya. Ira ni berkaca mata, putih kulitnya, tinggi dalam 165, berat dalam 60 gitu je. Badan kurus je, tp C cup. Ira ni yang buat aku geram dah laa cantik, pasti soft spoken dengan suara manja2 dia. Mana tak kerasnya keris aku.

Mula2 kami selalu keluar makan ramai2, lepak Mall spend time lepas waktu office. Sengaja aku ajak main bowling nk tgk punggung Ira ni, geram beb. Tp alang2 tu usha sekali punggung kerani yg lain sekali.. tp x blh lawan punggung Ira ni... Selalu kena pam dgn husband dia ni. Bila makan aku sengaja duk sebelah dia biar siku aku blh kena dada dia, itu taktik biasa kan? Dia pun mcm faham je.

Fast forward, dalam setahun jg aku rapat dgn ira, sampai lah satu masa tu dia meluah sesuatu yg menjadikan relay kami makin rapat. Suami ira ni sebenarnya kerja offshore, so beberapa bulan sekali baru blk. Time ni aku dah hidu bau2 isteri kesunyian. Yang buat dia sedih adalah suami Ira ni ada perempuan simpanan lain. Time ni aku dah sedar, peluang aku tinggi. Tapi waktu tu aku cover lagi, byk Bagi dia kata2 semangat. Padahal aku dah teringin nk rasa badan dia.

Sejak drpd tu, Aku Dan Ira makin kerap ws malam2, perkara ni makin nakal bila aku Tanya dia.

" Ira, tak rasa sunyi ke" aku pancing dgn harapan dia termakan.

"Urmmm, sunyi juga tinggal sorang lama2, ada suami mcm takde"

" Kesian diaa, saya kan ada. Tiap2 malam blh teman ira"

" Hmmm, tapi ws je kan, lain rasa tu"

" Kalau ira nak ada di sebelah tiap2 malam pun saya blh teman" Masih Cuba memujuk ira.

" Tak boleh, Ira isteri org, Ira tak nak curang, walaupun suami Ira curang."

" Mana adil mcm tu, dia dah tinggalkan Ira "kesunyian", kena laa balas balik"

" Macam mana nak balas balik?"

Umpan dah termakan sikit ni " Ira kena laa curang blk, buktikan bukan dia sahaja yg blh buat, tapi kan saya nk Tanya bila last Ira bersama?"

"Tak berani nk curang, entahlah bila last bersama, rasanya dah 4 bulan dah disentuh"

Dalam hati aku, ini kalau gosok sikit je dah banjir ni. " Pernah datang gersng tak?"

" Tipu laa kalau tak pernah, selalu je tp x blh nk buat apa" Ira mengeluh.

" Ira blh lncap kan? Bagi hilang rasa grsng tu"

" Hmmm, tak pandai and tak pernah buat"

Akhirnya Ira termakan umpan aku, " Saya blh ajarkan, malam2 ni lg best Lncp"

" Tapi tak turn on malam ni"

Aku pun terus hantar gambar batang aku pada dia, 3 keping gambar biar dia tgk puas2. " Untuk Ira, tgk laa dulu mana th blh buat Ira turn on"

Dalam masa 5 minit, juga Ira tak balas ws aku. Aku ingat dia dah block aku sbb hantar gambar batang kat dia.

"Awak, hmmm besarnya batang awak, takut" Ira balas. Waktu ni aku dah tahu, Ira dah turn on tgk batang aku.

" Biasa je tu Ira, Ira kena pegang laa nak tahu besar ke tak."

" Kalau dah berurat macam tu, mana ada biasa" Ira memuji lagi batang aku.

" Lagi best kalau masuk mulut Ira, Ira dah basah ke"

" Urmmm, dah basah laaa"

" Usaplah puki Ira tu slow2, biar kena dekat biji tu baru puas" aku hantar juga voice note pada Ira biar dia makin Gersang.

" Urmmm awak, rasa tak selesa laa." Semakin byk aku hantar voice note pada Ira biar dia basah sebasahnya.

Dalam 10 minit, aku menggoda Ira. Akhirnya, dia hantar aku satu gambar. Gambar jarinya yg basah, air puki Ira penuh tangan, tak pelik pun puki yg kesunyian memang banjir.

"Awak, lama saya tak rasa macam ni, puas sgt. Thank you tau"

" Sama2 Ira, saya akan sentiasa ada untuk Ira" ayat penghabisan yang mana aku tahu, Ira akan jadi hamba sxx aku.

Ira cuma balas dengan emoji "love", Dan aku tahu aku akan henjut dia tak lama lagi. Aku kena sabar. Lain macam penangan bini yang kesunyian ni.

SORRY KALAU PENULISAN ADMIN TAK BEST, TAPI KALAU NAK PART 2 KOMEN BANYAK2, ADMIN AKAN CERITA LAGI BILA IRA DAH JADI LAGI NAKAL.

[nkopurin]

fratboy!toji is nothing less than a menace to society.

now tell me, and stay with me on this one, what do people think when it comes to fratboys? the average person would usually think of the following traits: dumb, self-centered, fuckboys, party animals, muscles and no brain, arrogant, reckless, immature even. however, toji wasn't your average 'sigma kappa tau' member. he is the three big C's in a nutshell. cunning, cold, and calculating, but of course, these are the only traits that differentiate him from being a good old regular frat bud.

he is a party animal, through and through.

he is arrogant and self-centered; there is no question about it.

he is a fuckboy, with his looks it would be a crime not to be. and he would never turn down a pretty face, ever.

nevertheless, he was an above average student, muscles and brain type of guy—not a top valedictorian student, though. he knew the spotlight brought nothing but prying eyes and trouble. as edgy as it sounds, he liked to stay in the shadows, away from the lime light.

he is the thinking head behind the 'sigma kappa tau' house. he coordinated the parties, found desperate nerds, ones who thought they were good enough candidates to be part of the 'brotherhood', to clean up after. and he indeed financed these parties via not so legal means. it was somewhat of an open secret/rumor that toji was a plug.

he knew a lot of people who dabbled in various things, so in just the dial of the phone he got it for you, and everything that you might be desperate to latch your hands on.

you needed a gram of blow, weed, oxy, burner phones, getaway car, or contraband alcohol? don't worry! toji was handling it to you by sundown.

or perhaps you need information on someone? at least that's what it seemed to be the case with you.

"so you know where that creep is?" the ticking of the clock was defening in the stagnant silence. you shifted your weight on the couch, your gaze trailed toji's every step and move he took.

"of course i know, princess." he lowers the brick phone to his chest to look at your pretty, dolled up figure. it was impossible for him not to walk your way and catch your chin, guiding your eyes to meet his. yet you jerked away from his touch, not taking even a grain of his performative, affectionate gestures. obviously, he was charming, got muscled for days, evil as shit, and that chiseled god-like face is just your type down to a t. but then again, you were nothing less than a hater of his stupid, little games.

"just tell me where they are fushiguro," you might be dressed in all pastels and fancy skirts bestowing an innocent, preppy act. but the death stare you gave the frat revealed your nature perfectly, toji's breath hitched, your cold eyes stirred up hardcore emotions inside him. he's an adrenaline junkie, one who lusts after control and being above anyone, nevertheless, you are not easily swayed...yet.

"only if you take me."

━━━

"hey tits." toji came crashing into any room he entered with his signature arrogance and rudeness. nobody was safe from him, not even you, fuck you wouldn't be surprised if he disrespected his mother in a similar fashion.

"how's it going, steroids?" you scoffed, even amidst the caos, splatted intimate pictures with blood droplets resting on them and a wailing, tied up dude, toji had the power to make you even angrier than you already were.

"my night became brighter now that i've seen you doll..." there was no way toji would miss the opportunity, even with a half-conscious man in front of him, to shower his next target with flowers, "so this is what the guy looks like."

the beat up dude looked like any average joe to be honest. who knew this normal looking man would sneak mundane and lewd pictures of your sorority sisters indiscriminately.

"yes, i hope he learns not to take more pictures...of anybody, ever," even in the chair that you sat, your cold, poisonous words engraved themselves deep into everybody inside the room, "girls, you can leave now, you've done good. i have something to discuss with fushiguro here."

your sorority sisters left the secluded shack one following the other, giving their 'thank you's' to you and toji. he gave them all the disheveled, blood-stained ladies a polite smile, while doing a mental note to never mess with your sorority in any way. he was sure to tell his boys this.

"so how much," you briefly looked at him before unzipping your purse. there is always a price for these types of job's, you just hoped the money that you brought was more than enough.

"a date." you stopped counting on the money. he is not serious.

"toji i'm serious..."

"god, keep saying my name."

"how much toji, i don't have all night." toji took a hold to your chin for you to look at him, just like days prior. and your exasperation deepened.

"as i said doll, a date."

"...ugh, fine!" you bounce up, raging due to your predicament, and what better way to take your frustration out than on somebody. more specifically on creepy-mcgee, "this is all your fault!"

and it actually was, if it weren't for this perverted nobody, you wouldn't have sought out for toji's help. if it weren't for you heels you would kick the shit out of the guy, "i'll burn the pics, can you keep fucking this guy up?"

"anything for the lady." like a puppy doing a trick for the treat, toji took to breaking further the poor devils face. but not before taking a picture, specifically of you, from the ground into his pocket.

you did not hate toji, hate is a strong word, there was only distaste for some aspects of his personality and antics. but that sour taste you had of him diluted with every strike he blew on your stalker's face. you could not help but peek at him whenever you took the prints from the floor. it was completely messed up to find the aggressor attractive, but his muscles flexing and contracting were just too cool, with each spilling of blood towards random places proving his strength. toji's grin was akin to the devil's, dangerously enchanting, one that drives you insane and willing to commit the most heinous sin imaginable. whatever could you do to keep seeing that smile often?

you tossed the pictured into the empty barrel and poured some oil in it before setting it ablaze with some lit matches. there was no escape from the scene in front of you, as you tossed the last match you couldn't help but to thing in how wrong you are. completely wrong to find satisfaction in violence, one that toji of all people induced.

without a word you set out of the shack, felling the soft night breeze hit you, you tried to keep your remaining integrity intact. the car where you came in was nowhere in sight, obviously. the only vehicle left was toji's old ass subaru.

'fuck it,' you began to navigate your way towards toji's ride and rest your weight near its door. the beating in your heart marched like a parade drum, this was not happening. your body wanted him, scratch that, needed him in unspeakable ways.

"hey," toji started, "i came to see if you were alright, maybe the scene was too much—"

your lips seeking his was bound to happen. you didn't let him finish his sentence; besides, it didn't matter, his concern was always a show. you thought this inebriating feeling would appease itself, well you thought wrong.

"fucking shut up fushiguro, just kiss me."

"fuck," he heaved, sinking back into the lips of the woman he so desperately coveted. with every stroke of his tongue in yours the fever for him just increased in temperature.

'more!' your body was quick to demand, and your hands even quicker to lay on his toned abdomen, shamelessly traversing through his smooth skin. his bloody hands kept your head in place as his lips explored every crevice of your mouth.

"do ughn~ do something fushiguro!" you whinged, leading his beaten up hand all the way down to that wet spot in between your legs.

"damn, doll...can't use my fingers though," he whispered, caressing your clothed cunt, crimson stains sadly smearing over the fabric.

you catch a fistful of his shirt collar, bringing him to your face level and not minding the means to relieve you. it just had to be him, "then your mouth will have to do."

you did not believe the rumors of toji fushiguro's head being mind blowing. they had to be a brazen exaggeration, nothing more than a whisper started by him to inflate his ego a set his reputation in stone. but as they say 'don't knock it 'till you try it'.

to your pride's dismay, the rumors fell short in comparison to the real deal. this man didn't tickle your pussy, he devoured it. his hot, wet tongue circled around your clit before lapping it through your slit. your back rested comfortably in the car's hood, skirt up, panties to your side and your legs locked firmly around toji's neck. strings of moaned profanities left your mouth, your hands gripping at toji's raven locks. at this rate you migh as well leave a bald spot with how hard you tugged at his hair for him to go deeper in you.

disappointment will fill you once your head clears from the lustful fog. but in this precise second all you wanted was to seek your orgasm. and sure enough you were terribly close, toji switched from burying his tongue inside of you to kissing the most sensitive parts of your pussy.

"fushi—toji~ i am, shit if you keep—going i'm gonna- i-!" torrents of erratic pleasure rippled from your pelvis through out your body. your juices coated toji's lips and dripped to his chin.

you heaved, gasping for the fresh air of nature, the stars above twinkled and now your mind became clear once more.

"get off me, help me too."

"man a thank you would be nice." always the gentleman, toji helped you sit right, kneeling to push your panties up and secure you in place as you stood up. even after you ignored his need of gratitude.

"what are you gonna do about that?" you gestured at the obvious bulge in his pants.

"shit, baby, don't worry i got certified jerk off material right here." he took the picture he had previously tucked in his pocket, out on display for you to see. apparently the creep that took all the sorority's most intimate moments actually had a talent for photography.

"fuck, fushiguro, give me my picture!" you caught a glimpse of its contents; you observing your figure through tithe mirror in a pink dress, one that looked eerily similar to lingerie. you tried to snatch it from his grasp, however he held it high in the air, making it imposible for you to get ahold of.

"you'll have to bounce on my cock if you want the pic dollface," he beamed a grin while opening the passenger door, "let's go to mine and finish the transaction."

"ughh, you're insufferable fushiguro."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

never thought this would be as long as it did :o + feedback on my writing is hella appreciated !

[sudag-o]

o cara num para . +novo sumave gif

LOUD ENOUGH?

[mindblowingscience]

A colossal study has revealed a variation of a gene involved in an immune response has been secretly giving protection to the billions who carry it from Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease. Known as DR4, the variant, or allele, is part of a family of genes that normally help our immune system pinpoint and destroy foreign invaders, like bacteria and viruses. "In an earlier study, we'd found that carrying the DR4 allele seemed to protect against Parkinson's disease," says psychiatrist and geneticist Emmanual Mignot from Stanford University in the US, the institution that led the study. But Alzheimer's and Parkinson's are distinct conditions with different pathological biomarkers in the brain – Lewy bodies for Parkinson's, and abnormal tangles of a protein called tau in Alzheimer's. Discovering DR4 as a common factor was astounding.

Continue Reading

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Hard Science Fiction

Hard science fiction - a subgenre of science fiction writing that emphasizes scientific accuracy and precise technical detail as part of its world-building.

When these science fiction stories touch on real-world topics like space travel, earth science, computer advancements, and artificial intelligence, they do so with an eye toward accuracy.

Hard science fiction also goes by shortened names like “hard sci-fi” and “hard SF.”

Prominent awards in the hard science fiction space include the Hugo Award, the Arthur C. Clarke Award, the Nebula Award, and the Jupiter Award.

Hard sci-fi contrasts with another type of science fiction writing that can be called soft science fiction.

Soft sci-fi novels and movies deal with topics that do not comport with science as we understand it.

For instance, the recreation of dinosaurs in Jurassic Park and its sequels does not fully overlap with scientific reality, although the book's explanation of DNA technology is largely accurate.

Other scientifically unfeasible topics like time travel or faster-than-light spaceships similarly qualify a book as soft sci-fi.

Examples of Hard Science Fiction Books

There is no shortage of science fiction novels, short stories, movies, and TV shows that lean into hard science as part of their world-building. Explore some of the influential hard science fiction books of the past few decades.

Foundation by Isaac Asimov (1951): This book, which kicked off a long series by Asimov, takes place in a distant future but is anchored by concepts in real-world mathematics, holographs, and psychology.

The Sentinel by Arthur C. Clarke (1951): Clarke adapted his short story into the Stanley Kubrick-directed cinematic space opera 2001: A Space Odyssey. Between the initial short story and the movie, Clarke deals with topics of evolution, space travel, starships, artificial intelligence, and the first contact with alien life forms.

Mission of Gravity by Hal Clement (1953): This early standard of hard science fiction novels takes place on a disk-shaped planet called Mesklin where human life cannot survive, but human-made probes can encounter aliens. As Clement describes this alien new world, he grounds his science in proven truths about chemistry and physics.

The Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton (1969): Crichton is best known for Jurassic Park, but in his first book, he tackled the subject of pandemic viruses.

Tau Zero by Poul Anderson (1970): This hard science fiction novel is a thrill ride in both the figurative and literal sense, as it imagines a near-light-speed vehicle that careens out of control. While most physicists strongly doubt a future where humans could travel anywhere near the speed of light, Anderson does anchor a great deal of the novel in real-world physics.

Ringworld by Larry Niven (1973): Niven's novel is about aliens and massive artificial worlds, but it is based on the hard science of Newtonian physics and Mendelian biology.

Rendezvous with Rama by Arthur C. Clarke (1973): Clarke followed up his work on 2001: A Space Odyssey by penning this tale where a strange spaceship called Rama enters the solar system. The book is packed with scientifically accurate descriptions of mechanics and astrophysics.

Dragon's Egg by Robert L. Forward (1980): This hard sci-fi book drew rave reviews from genre masters Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke for its tale of neutron stars and extraterrestrial life.

Neuromancer by William Gibson (1984): Gibson’s dystopian novel, which bears some resemblance to Blade Runner (which came out two years prior), deals with computer science cyberpunk culture and the rise of artificial intelligence.

Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson (1992): This novel, which kicks off Robinson's Mars trilogy, deals with the colonization of Mars in a world where Earth has become uninhabitable. Robinson starts with a foundation of real-world astrophysics and geopolitics and then builds from there.

A Fire Upon the Deep by Vernor Vinge (1992): This dystopian novel about future wars with alien races bases its science on real-life military technology, artificial intelligence, astrophysics, and cognitive science.

Starfish by Peter Watts (1999): This hard science fiction novel takes place under the sea. It deals with marine biology and bioengineering but also psychology and mental illness, topics that set it apart from many other hard sci-fi works.

Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds (2000): Reynolds holds a Ph.D. in astronomy and he uses it to great effect in this interstellar thriller that combines the quiet dread of Arthur C. Clarke with the astronomical wonder of Carl Sagan.

Schild's Ladder by Greg Egan (2002): Egan bases this novel on the work of real-life mathematician Alfred Schild and his contributions to differential geometry.

The Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu (2008): This novel by sci-fi author Cixin Liu takes its title from a real concept in orbital mechanics. It imagines a near future where the human race awaits an interstellar invasion from beyond our solar system. Its characters discover a planet that belongs to three different suns, and while this may not be scientifically possible, it is still grounded in elements of real-world physics.

The Martian by Andy Weir (2012): Weir's debut novel, which was later the basis of a Hollywood blockbuster, involves an astronaut stranded on Mars. His survival techniques—and the techniques of his earthbound comrades trying to rescue him—are grounded in real-world scientific facts and discoveries.

Source ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[chidasaurus]

Me, self sabotaging my own self.

Dulu, aku kira jadi serba bisa, benerin listrik, benerin setrikaan, malu paku, pasang mur-muran, bunuh ular yang masuk ke rumah, dorong motor mogok pakai satu kaki sambil nyetir, jadi tangguh dan pemberani, kesemuanya, aku kira itu keren. Ternyata itu cuma trauma response. Trauma response karena anak kecil ini tau bahwa ga ada yang bisa diandalin kecuali dirinya sendiri.

Pas gede dikit, jadi orang yang gapernah minta pertolongan orang lain sedikitpun karena selalu ngerasa ga akan pernah ada yang bisa bantuin aku kecuali diriku sendiri. Bahkan sampe berkali-kali dibilang "pasti kamu ga minta tolong?" "gapapa loh minta tolong Wirda."

Aku kira aku independent, ternyata mah karena itu trauma response. Yaitu tadi, takut orang lain nolak kalau dimintai tolong. Udah terbiasa apa-apa sendiri. Dulu, pindahan kos sendiri, a b c sendiri, susah sendiri. Pokoknya konsepnya aku aja yg susah orang lain jangan sampe tau aku kesusahan.

sedih sekali rasanya.

Bandung, 23 December 2024

[jtnnie]

4th Anniversary of Kevan & Cacey ❦

( 𝐅𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲, 𝟏𝐬�� )

He calls me beautiful as if it my name, carved upon my heart. And every day i await the moment your voice wraps around me, whispering it once more.

 𓈒ㅤ 마음이 전하는 노트 ㅤ───ㅤ "  C & K  "

𝐢. 　𝖾𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖼.

Hallo sayangku. Ketemu lagi sama aku di tanggal satu bulan februari untuk ke empat kalinya. 4 tahun? Rasanya kayak mimpi yaa, tapi ketika kita liat kebelakang, perjalanan kita terasa panjang sekali untuk sampai di titik ini. Kadang aku rasa baru aja kemarin kita saling sapa untuk pertama kalinya, waktu berlalu.. seribu empat ratus hari, ribuan jam yang sudah kita lewati, detik demi detik hari hariku yang terisi dengan kamu. Mungkin orang lain gabisa paham sama perasaan yang sudah kita bangun bertahun-tahun ini, mungkin mereka gabisa lihat sedalam apa hubungan kita, gaada satupun orang yang bisa melihat sebesar dan seindah apa perasaan aku untuk kamu.

Terkadang ga semuanya bisa aku ungkapin dengan kata, kalimat, suara dan aku tau kamupun sama. Kita terikat oleh kata cinta dan jalinan perasaan itu hanya bisa kita pahami satu sama lain. Untuk beribu kalinya, aku bersyukur karena orang itu adalah kamu. Kamu yang selama ini ada disetiap hari aku juga moment berharga dalam hidup aku. Kamu yang temani akhir masa remaja aku sampai sekarang kita sama sama bertumbuh. Kamu yang selalu aku panggil namanya, selalu aku ucapkan kata cinta yang mana ucapan itu tidak hanya sebatas ungkapan namun didalamnya terdapat makna yang bahkan aku sendiri sudah tidak bisa mendefiniskan kedalamannya.

Aku selalu menyandingkan kamu dengan hal-hal yang aku suka, hal-hal indah di dunia ini. Aku punya dunia yang pusatnya ada di kamu, mas ejaku. Semakin lama rasanya dengar suara kamu aja udah cukup jadi bahasa cinta kita yaa. Kalau kita bilang kita satu owner juga bisa aja orang lain percaya, hihi. That's how we really connect to each other. Lala adalah mas eja dan mas eja adalah lala. Terimakasih yaa sayangku. Terimakasih untuk tahun tahun indah ini, terimakasih karena sudah menjadi pacar yang segalanya untuk aku, terimakasih karena sudah memahami aku, terimakasih karena sudah berulang kali memilih untuk bertahan dan terus cinta sama aku, terimakasih karena sudah sabar dengan aku dengan kita, terimakasih karena udah selalu jadi mas eja yang sama seperti di malam 8 Desember 2020, terimakasih sudah menjadi mas eja yang cintanya tetap sama seperti di sore 1 Februari 2021. Terimakasih untuk segalanya yaa sayang.

Maafin aku juga untuk semuanya yaa, maafin aku atas semua yang aku pernah lakuin kamu kamu, maafin aku yang masih keras kepala dan bikin sayangku kesal, maafin aku yang belum bisa sepenuhnya pahamin kamu dan belum bisa jadi pacar yang terbaik untuk kamu, maafin aku atas semua perdebatan kita dan pertikaian kita, karena hal itu kita sama sama belajar dan tumbuh. Maafin aku untuk semuanya yaa sayangku. Ayo kita ketemu lagi di tanggal satu yang akan datang, aku akan selalu menantikan hari hari bersama kamu.

Ribuan kali netra kita bersatu dan saling menatap mesra jatuh kedalam jurang cinta, setiap kali pula aku jatuh cinta kepadamu. Aku jatuh cinta melebihi setiap huruf yang aku berikan kepadamu, aku jatuh cinta melebihi penilaianmu terhadapku. Aku telah jatuh cinta kepadamu ribuan kali dan rasanya akan selalu sama. Your soul itself, your hands in mine, you existence, you. My Delano Zaidan Aditama. I love you so much, love.

Yours truly, Ceyla Jearinne

𝐢𝐢. 　𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝗌 (𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗅𝗒 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇)

[themuseumwithoutwalls]

MWW Artwork of the Day (2/3/25) Hieronymous Bosch (Flemish, c. 1450-1516) The Temptations of St. Anthony (c. 1490) Oil on panel, 73 x 52.5 cm. Museo del Prado, Madrid

Saint Anthony the Abbot, already an old man, is shown meditating near the trunk of a dry tree. Both it, the water in the foreground, and the lush vegetation in the background are supposed to represent the desert in which the saint spent twenty years alone. At that time, a desert was not a place without life, but rather one characterized by solitude. Here, it is inhabited by demons intent on tempting Saint Anthony. Bosch includes them in this work, almost like the saint's identifying attributes, along with the customary ones: the saint's dark brown habit with the Greek letter, “tau,” and the pig by his side.

[ask-postcrash-curly]

So, in your world, there’s colonies all over the solar system, yeah? What would you say your favorite colony is? When you make deliveries, do you stay on the planet for a bit? I assume some time is needed to unpack, refuel, etc, but is there any more time given than that? Are you able to explore the colony for a little bit? Or do they only give you the bare minimum time, and you have to leave right away the second preparations are done?

Tad farther spread than the solar system, I’d say. My favorite I’ve been to was on Tau Ceti-c. Great food, weather, and entertainment, and the haul was about half the length of this one.

Delivery is a good time for us. Our role in unloading the ship is actually very minimal. There’s paperwork, mostly for me, to authorize the delivery, our presence on the colony, and our supplies restocking. Typically some work for the mechanic too if the ship needs any repairs that couldn’t be done in space. Medic needs to prove we’re not carrying any diseases. Co-pilot usually has some paperwork to do to. Fun stuff.

As soon as all that’s taken care of, Pony Express and the third party companies prefer us to stay off the ship and out of their way while they take the packages, dispose of our trash and waste, and restock and refuel us. If we get there on time, Pony funds a hotel room for us, and if not, we have to pay out of pocket. That’s pretty much all they’ll fund though. We’re typically on our own for food and entertainment, but even cheap food and entertainment are a blast when you’ve spent months in a metal shell eating dispenser and vending machine food.

We usually have a couple days. Guess we could explore and see the sights if we wanted to, but fuck, who has time to be tourists? This is no vacation. Sometimes it’s our only proper days off for over a year! We tend to pool our money to have good, cheesy fun. Same sort you could have on Earth. No tours, no nothing. Just fun. Escape rooms, bowling, laser tag, fast food, karaoke, whatever. There’s this chain restaurant that only exists on colonies outside of the solar system. Rockin’ Chompin’. Great place. Good enough food to be worth it and just shitty enough to feel real. Almost every port has one nearby.

People back home think we’re crazy for coming all the way out here just to do things we could do on Earth. But when you’ve spent six months on a ship and you’ve got another six coming up, you don’t give a damn about where you are. You’re just happy to be on the ground. You don’t want fancy stuff, you want what feels like home, yeah?

[arthistoryanimalia]

From #Woodensday into #Feathersday…

Taus (mayuri), India, c.1885 wood, parchment, metal, feathers The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

“The name of this bowed instrument means peacock, the bird associated with Saraswati, the goddess of music. Popular at 19th century courts, it derives its form from the dilruba, an instrument combining features of other Indian stringed instruments like the sarangi and the sitar.”

[melancholy-of-nadia]

love u lately (m) #4 | myg/knj/pjm

title: love u lately​ chapter title: #4 - sour candy​ pairing: yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader (yoonminjoon x f. reader) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; college/university au , pseudo frat! bts; best friends! yoonminjoon friends to lovers; HALLOWEEN! summary: with jimin's birthday party coming, you hope that it will be a good opportunity to celebrate jimin's big day and heal namjoon's heart with all your closest friends. however, things take a turn and you start to further question how you feel about jimin and your fwb arrangement with yoongi. when you are confronted by jimin at matthew's halloween frat party, it will challenge you to make a decision that will further change your relationship with him, yoongi, and namjoon for good. warnings: first party of the year at the BETA TAU SIGMA HOUSE!, halloween, multiple house parties, alcohol/recreational drug mentions, swearing, another breakup mayhaps, kissing, mirror sex, yoongi being a little more dom than usual, vampire jimin also deserves a warning, sexy dancing, fingering, CONSENSUAL and PROTECTED sex, penetration, breast play, THINGS GET MESSY but it's NOT IN THE BED, unfinished orgasm, confessions???, ANGST with a side of GUILT note: thank u to @daegudrama (as always) for beta reading this incredibly long chapter + fixing the smutty bits. this was orginally 2 chapters, but i wanted to tie things together here in one big ol' chapter and be evil so i hope you like it. total word count: 12.4k drop date: October 30th, 2023, 11:40am PST cross posted on AO3 here ← #3 | Series Masterlist | #5 →

October 13 (Saturday)

The sun has barely began its ascent in the morning sky, casting a soft, golden hue over the bustling campus of the university.

In the quiet of dawn, the world seems at peace, a stark contrast to everything that has been happening to you and everyone in the house the past week.

Jimin, however, has had little time to appreciate the tranquility of the morning. He finds himself reluctantly attending a brunch event in a neighboring city. This event is orchestrated by Sigma Mu Epsilon’s president, Irene, for one of her sorority gatherings. It is a pledging event as well as a chance for new recruits to network with sorority alumni, which ends with an auction. He doesn’t particularly want to be there; all he craves is a few more hours of sleep and maybe the chance to enjoy a semi-fancy dinner at Yardhouse with his friends later in the evening. Lately, Jimin has been growing tired of his vibrant yet exhausting social life, wondering if perhaps he isn’t cut out for it anymore. Maybe his fatigue is more about Irene than the lifestyle itself. Maybe he has never truly been in love with her. It wouldn’t be the first time he has mentally tapped out of a relationship or a situationship before the other party. He has gone out and slept with countless people over the years. Ever since the virginity race in high school, he hasn’t really stopped. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say he has the highest body count in the whole house, just a single person ahead of Jungkook. 

When it comes to Jimin finding people, he becomes intrigued with them because of their appearance and sometimes their charming personality that compliments his own. Most of the flings he’s had only last about 3-4 weeks. 

Irene is the first exception. You’re unsure why Jimin has been with her this long. Today marks 4 months since they’ve been dating, but seeing the way he’s forcing himself to go out for her sake, you aren’t sure he will last much longer.

While Jimin begrudgingly embarks on his mandatory brunch outing, it becomes the perfect cover for Beta Tau Sigma to set the stage for his surprise birthday party. Rising early, you see a glimpse of Jimin on his way out the door in a hurry as you walk downstairs. 

You join Namjoon for breakfast, relieved to see a glimmer of his usual self returning after the rocky events of the past few days. As you engage in conversation, you encourage him to relax and unwind at Jimin's party later that night. He smiles in response, promising to do just that.

Meanwhile, Seokjin has a friend who is also attending the brunch: Tiffany Young, a graduate student in Sigma Mu Epsilon who is in the sorority event's organizing committee. She is currently sending him real-time updates on the brunch schedule. Jin enters the dining area walking as he types on his phone. 

"Tiffany just texted me saying they’re going to be late," he says rather bluntly, which you can’t help but roll your eyes at. 

"Typical sorority events." You mutter, finishing up your breakfast. Namjoon chuckles in response to your snarky remark, to which you send a knowing smirk his way.

After breakfast, you call out to Yoongi, who has just come downstairs. He looks up at you, a hint of curiosity in his eyes as you ask, "Ready to go?"

He flashes a small, enigmatic smile, reaching for the coat rack by the staircase to retrieve his eco-friendly shopping bags. 

"I'm always ready for a trip to the store." he replies, holding the bags up, the corners of his lips quirking upward like a cat.

Together you leave for a shopping adventure to buy decorations for Jimin's surprise party. Meanwhile, Taehyung and Namjoon are in charge of the house cleaning duties, and preparing it for the evening's festivities. Seokjin and Jungkook are busy in the kitchen, getting the food and drinks area ready, while Hoseok has gone to Matthew's house to borrow his DJ setup for the party. Matthew and Hoseok are known to be close friends, not only as members of the dance team but also as active co-hosts of various parties together. At the store, you and Yoongi browse through the colorful array of decorations, selecting orange-colored streamers to adorn the house for the upcoming party. As you unroll a section of the streamer, you share your excitement. Your voice filled with anticipation.

"Tonight's going to be great," you muse, a smile playing on your lips. "A little kickback in the middle of the semester is exactly what we need."

"I thought so too. Things have been hectic lately." Yoongi nods in agreement, his expression mirroring your enthusiasm.

With a sly grin, you decide to tease him. You lean in closer to him, playfully suggesting,

"You know, we could always sneak off for a little alone time during the party."

Yoongi's eyes widen slightly from your alluring words, and for a moment, panic flashes across his features. But he quickly recovers, his lips curving into a flirtatious grin. 

"Is that an invitation?" He responds, his voice laced with a teasing tone.

Your heart skips a beat at his reply, and you can't help but wonder if there's more to his words or if he’s just having fun playing your little game. He’s too good at this, you think. You don’t respond right away and continue shopping for party supplies, keeping the tension high until you decide to take the conversation on a more flirtatious edge.

"Well," you reply with a sultry smile.  "I guess we'll have to see how the night unfolds, kitty boy. It's a surprise party, after all."

Yoongi's face closes in on yours as his hands reaches for another pack of multi-color balloons behind you. You feel a jolt of sensation shoot through you. The tension in your lower half filled with want intensifies, making your heart race faster. During these moments, you can't deny the magnetic pull between you two. The way he can be doing mundane things in a store or at home and somehow manage to drive you crazy. It's in the way he behaves, in the quiet cadence of his voice, in the soft glint of his eyes that holds galaxies within. You want to kiss him so bad right now and later on, but a part of you knows that would be difficult.

He leans closer to your ear, his voice dropping to a seductive murmur. "Always teasing me with the cat comments. I'll be looking forward to the surprise then, Angel."

The air between you crackles as the flame dies down and you both carry on with your shopping, each touch and lingering glance adding to the palpable tension building between you.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

As the day unfolds, Jimin's patience wears thin during the brunch with Irene. The restaurant's tea party-like ambiance, once vibrant and appealing, now feels stifling. Their relationship has felt too restricting, with Irene often taking the lead in making decisions, and Jimin has grown increasingly weary of it.

Irene, as usual, has taken the initiative to plan a birthday dinner for the two of them at Fogo de Chão, a fine dining restaurant known for its Brazilian churrasco experience. While it is undoubtedly a great place, Jimin can’t help but feel trapped by the lack of input he has in the relationship's direction. He wants to have a say, a sense of balance that has been sorely missing when he’s with Irene.

Jimin's mood is noticeably dampened as he drives back from the event at 6pm. His voice is tinged with exhaustion and annoyance as he speaks with you on the phone. You are calling to ask his ETA, but overhear Irene persisting he goes out to dinner with her. Her insistence is a stark reminder of the control she seems to exert over their relationship. You try to keep yourself together, but you know you are inching closer to yelling at the woman over her “pick me” behavior.

After you finish setting up, you take the remaining time to help Jin prepare a small lunch box cake with a Badtz-maru Sanrio character figure in the middle. A smile tugs at Jimin’s lips as you mention that you and Jin made a cake.

 "Get here as soon as you can," you urge, "before I decide to eat the whole thing by myself!"

The warmth of your invitation and the prospect of spending the evening with you, perhaps accompanied by a few drinks with the guys, brings a genuine smile to Jimin's face. He can’t wait to be with you, if only to momentarily escape the complexities of his relationship with Irene. With a heartfelt response, he assures you. 

 "Looking forward to it, Honey," his voice filled with anticipation and a sense of longing.

As Jimin ends the call, he can’t help but notice Irene's displeased expression. She stares out of the window, her indifference to his plans more apparent than ever. Though, he is not worried about it at all. +++++++++

The moment has finally arrived. At 7 pm, Jimin approaches the front porch, Irene trailing behind him, completely unaware of the surprise lurking in the shadows. Everyone at the party is tucked away in their hiding spots behind the couch, their excitement barely contained. As he unlocks the door and steps inside, Irene right beside him, Jimin flicks on the lights in the living room.

Suddenly, the room explodes with a collective yell of 

"Surprise!" Jimin, caught off guard, jolts in fear, his heart racing. 

"Holy shit! Ya! You guys really scared the fuck out of me." he exclaims, breaking into laughter. 

The surprise party has taken him by surprise. Even though he had a hunch it was coming, thanks to Taehyung's incessant giggling over his phone for the past few days. He knew it wasn’t Jennie making him act like that, that’s for sure. "I didn't expect a party with everyone I know on campus...thanks, guys!" Jimin grins, feeling truly touched by the effort put into the surprise.

 As he looks around the room, he notices Taehyung and Jungkook approaching him. They playfully place a plastic crown on his head and a sash reading "It's a Boy!" around his shoulders. Laughter ripples through the room as people snicker, and Yoongi chimes in with an apology, claiming that Party City ran out of birthday boy sashes.

With the formalities out of the way, the party kicks into full gear. The guest list is a mix of Jimin's friends from the contemporary dance club, various fraternities and sororities on campus, and even some non-frat affiliated friends.The living room is illuminated with a kaleidoscope of colorful lights. The atmosphere buzzes with laughter, music, and the clinking of plastic red cups. Jimin, still wearing his "It’s a Boy!" sash, is now deeply engrossed in a competitive beer pong match with Taehyung, forming a formidable team they called “Taejin” and “Jikook”. The alcohol has clearly taken its toll, evident in their slightly unsteady aim and louder-than-usual banter.

As the game continues, Taehyung can't help but blurt out, "Did you know I took Jimin's virginity?" His words hang in the air, drawing incredulous stares from those around, including you.

"Ugh, you guys always say this when you're drunk!" You interject, trying to steer the conversation away from talking about their sex life at a party.

Jimin, never one to shy away from a chance to tease, chimes in, "And it's true!"

"But you guys never mention this sober!" you retort, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

Jin, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, adds, "They did! I let Tae borrow my car, and it happened there!"

You burst into laughter, finding the situation utterly absurd. Still, you keep count of these drunken confessions, each sudden new revelation making the story more unbelievable. It has to be a lie right?

Meanwhile, Jungkook simultaneously takes on the role of the bartender, expertly mixing drinks for the guests, showcasing his impressive bartending skills.

Amidst the revelry, you can't help but notice Jimin and Taehyung being touchy, their usual closeness amplified by the alcohol. It's a stark contrast to the way Jimin and Irene interact, their interactions either avoiding each other entirely or being laced together with passive-aggressiveness. You venture away from the bartending area, seeking a change of scenery. In the living room, you find Hoseok rolling up joints with Jackson and a few others. The smell of freshly rolled weed fills the air as they chat and prepare for a little smoke session.

Hwasa pats your back gently as she rushes to join the group on the couch, her eyes bright with excitement as she plucks a rolling paper from Jackson's stash. Jackson playfully protests, the two of them engaging in a lighthearted argument. Soyoon, seated nearby, can't help but laugh at their antics, thoroughly entertained by the playful banter unfolding before her. You move from this scene to observe Namjoon and Yoongi sharing a lighthearted moment over their drinks, a sense of nostalgia washes over you. It's a feeling akin to stumbling upon an old, cherished photograph from your past, a glimpse into a time when life felt simpler, and worries were few and far between.

You recall the days when your group was unbreakable. In those moments, laughter flowed freely, and the weight of responsibilities and adulthood hadn't yet pressed down on your shoulders. A past when late-night conversations and spontaneous adventures with your favorite boys was the norm. The memories of those carefree days still warm your heart.

Seeing Namjoon and Yoongi sharing a genuine laugh is a reminder of that bygone era. It's as if a fragment of your youth has been recaptured, if only for a fleeting moment. The rareness of this sight intensifies its significance, making it feel like a precious treasure rediscovered.

It's not lost on you that life has changed, and with it, your relationships have evolved. Responsibilities, relationships, and personal growth have nudged you all in different directions.

You decide to join them, curious about their take on the party. "So, how's the party for you two?" You inquire.

Namjoon grins, clearly enjoying the festivities. "It's been going well. Jungkook's a real good bartender. Since when did he become a mixologist?"

Yoongi chuckles and adds, "Since I took him to a bar with a fake ID over the summer and we tried different drinks. The Irish bomb started all of this. Taught him how to make one drink, and now he knows how to make like 30 different drinks."

You smirk playfully, teasing Jungkook's inventive nature. "Of course, the house genius had something to do with it. Always cooking up with ideas."

Yoongi cheeks flush at your compliment, which only makes you smile. Then, you shift the conversation toward Namjoon, still concerned about his well-being after the breakup with Jihyo. You wonder if he's still upset or if he's managed to move past it, both in terms of the relationship ending and the way it ended.

"Oh, I'm doing good," Namjoon assures you, his voice steady. "I think accumulated stress, coupled with that situation, got to me in the moment. But I'm doing better now after thinking about it more."

Relieved to hear that he's coping well, you offer a comforting gesture by rubbing his arm. 

"I'm glad," you say sincerely. "we were all worried about you, so if you ever need anything, we're here for you. Me, Yoongs, Mimi, Tae, Koo, Jin, and Hope!"

Yoongi nods in agreement, silently echoing your sentiment. However, beneath his supportive exterior, a gnawing fear lingers. You step aside for a moment to grab a snack bag from the box to munch on, leaving Namjoon and Yoongi to chat. Namjoon leans toward Yoongi, his voice hushed. 

"Hey, I'm gonna get her another drink from Jungkook."

Yoongi side-eyes Namjoon, a hint of curiosity in his gaze, and takes a sip from his whiskey.

 "What drink are you gonna get her?"

“I was thinking a Mai Tai. She loves those.”

The cat-eyed man furrows his brow, a sense of unease crossing his features. 

"I don't think that's a good idea." He cautions.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, clearly puzzled. "What do you mean by that?" Yoongi takes another sip of his drink, contemplating the situation.

"You know, she hasn't liked Mai Tais since last year." He finally admits, alluding to the time you drank so many of them in one night and you swore off to never drink those again. "She switched to Pina Coladas as her preferred alcoholic drink. She even mentioned it on her birthday earlier this year."

"Oh, I didn't know. I guess I missed that." He looks at him, a tad surprised and maybe even a bit upset that he hadn't caught onto your changing tastes.

Yoongi mumbles under his breath, his jealousy flickering. "If you were as close to her as you think, you should've known."

Undeterred, Namjoon walks away, eventually returning with a Pina Colada in hand. He hands it to you with a smile as he sees you conversing with Yoongi. "Oh, Namjoon! Pina Colada? I'm surprised you remembered." You let out a giggle, a hint of appreciation in your voice.

He blushes a little, his confidence replaced by shyness. "I could never forget my favorite girl's drink."

Yoongi scoffs softly, his jealousy flaring up. He takes another sip of his whiskey, trying to calm the growing storm of emotions inside him. The alcohol burns his throat, but it does little to quell the turbulent thoughts swirling in his mind. He knows he needs to find a way to calm himself down. The alcohol isn't helping him at this moment. As you stand there talking with Namjoon, Yoongi watches you from the corner of his eye, lost in a sea of conflicting emotions. He's relieved that Namjoon's not stressing you with his previous relationship, but there's an undercurrent of fear plaguing him. He worries that this situationship, this tangled web of emotions you share, might lose its appeal to you.

Deep down, he knows that this fling serves as a distraction for both of you, something to hold onto in the midst of college life. But perhaps it's more than that. Perhaps you mean more to him than he's ready to admit while not under the influence of an intoxicating drink. The thought of you eventually moving on and finding someone else terrifies him more than he'd like to acknowledge.

On your end, you're equally conflicted. The seed of doubt and overthinking that Yoongi planted has taken root, and you find yourself questioning your own feelings. Is it just a casual fling, or is there something more beneath the surface? You don't want to admit it, not even to yourself, but there's a growing awareness that maybe, just maybe, this situationship has started to mean more to you than you initially thought.

The room buzzes with laughter and music, but in this moment, both of you are lost in the turmoil of your emotions, uncertain of where this journey will ultimately lead.

You decide to heed Yoongi's earlier suggestion of meeting in secret at the party, excusing yourself from the two men in the living room where everyone continues to have a good time. As you head upstairs, you discreetly signal to Yoongi that you'll be waiting for him in your room.

Once in your room, you decide to step out onto the balcony, feeling the crisp October air brush against your skin. The chill seems to awaken you from your drunken stupor, and you take a deep breath, gazing out into the night. The distant campus buildings are barely visible in the dim moonlight, and a plane streaks across the sky, leaving behind a trail of blinking lights.

Your phone suddenly vibrates in your hand, and you eagerly check it, expecting to see a message from Yoongi. However, as you read his response, a twinge of disappointment washes over you. Yoongi [11:02PM]: Sorry angel, i think it’s a bad idea right now. 

Yoongi [11:02PM]: another time, okay? 

Reading the pixelated words on a screen causes your chest to tighten, leaving you with a mix of emotions that you can't quite put your finger on. You're aware that your situationship with Yoongi is not committed or exclusive, yet you can't help but feel a pang of disappointment. It's a confusing feeling that leaves you standing on the balcony, contemplating the nature of your connection with Yoongi and wanting to run away from these thoughts. You look down from the balcony and notice Irene's dramatic exit from the party. She gets into a black car waiting at the curb, and not long after, it drives away. You don't think much of it until you hear the sliding door behind you open. At first, you assume it might be Yoongi changing his mind or teasing you about his earlier rejection. However, when you turn to see Jimin joining you, you feel a bit caught off guard.

"Oh, Darling? You're here? Why are you alone?" 

"Oh, Mimi," you reply with a smile, brushing off his question. "I just wanted to sober up a bit. I don't want to spend tomorrow dealing with a hungover existential crisis while trying to get assignments done."

Jimin nods in understanding. "Fair enough."

You lean on the railing, propping your arms up, and watch Jimin as he continues speaking. "So, how's the party, birthday boy?"

"It's been fun so far, way better than whatever BS I did for most of the day." Jimin responds.

"Irene being too much?" You ask.

Jimin rolls his eyes. 

"Yup." He seems like he's about to say more about Irene, but he changes the topic instead. "But you guys made my night. I'm not usually a 'receiving presents' type of guy, but Jin still gave me a Maple Story plush pouch with money earlier."

"Damn, that boy is more loaded than I thought," 

"Right!" Jimin agrees. "Tae got me a custom One Piece Zoro mug too." He chuckles cutely. "Oh, Yoongi hyung also said he's performing a special song for me from his upcoming mixtape at the party, so that's going to be wild as fuck." You can't help but laugh, a nervous chuckle escaping your lips as you try to make sense of the situation.

"Shit, now I feel bad that I didn't get you anything." You admit, feeling the corners of your lips curl into a playful smile. You stand up from the balcony railing, and your gaze locks with Jimin's as you lean against it, the party's background noise fading away in the distance.

"Is there anything else our birthday boy wants for his birthday?" You inquire, a glint of curiosity dancing in your eyes. Jimin's hesitation isn't lost on you, but his flirty expression keeps your attention, and you can't help but wonder where this is going.

Jimin closes the gap between you two until there is only a few mere inches from your lips, and his smile takes on a devilish edge. "A kiss."

“Huh.”

Your reaction is immediate. You freeze in place, wondering if perhaps the alcohol in your system has led you to misinterpret his words. The surprise has you giggling, a nervous, bubbling laughter that hints at uncertainty. "A kiss? Should I call Irene?" You tease, although a small part of you wonders if he's serious. You realize you're not entirely sure if you should take him seriously.

Jimin responds with a narrowed look, clearly expressing his desire, and it's evident that he means every word. "A kiss. From you.” He confirms, as he continues to close the distance between you, a playful gleam in his eyes. His breath, laced with the scent of alcohol, washes over you, making the situation feel even more surreal.

Despite your laughter, your heart races. You did not anticipate this, not from Jimin, not on his birthday, and not with Irene in the picture. It feels like a playful game at first, a continuation of your close friendship, but as the atmosphere grows heavier with tension, you're not quite sure where the line between friendship and something more blurs.

You attempt to regain your composure, using humor as a defense mechanism. 

"Uh, Jimin? I know we used to do those playful goodbye cheek kisses and all, and you practiced your first kiss on me in middle school because we're besties, but is this even okay right now? You're with Irene, after all." Your words convey your uncertainty as you try to mentally process the situation.

Jimin doesn't miss a beat. "I broke up with her.”

Your response is disbelief. "Wait, you what?"

 The shock makes you take a step back, and you try to understand why he chose this night, of all nights, to end things. You're genuinely concerned for Jimin. You know Irene been hitting several nerves for Jimin as of late, but to break up with her while at his own birthday party? 

He explains their fight as you lean on the balcony, your gaze fixated on him. His words hang in the air, and you can't help but reflect on the turn of events. 

"Oh...damn. I’m sorry," You finally reply, a mix of sympathy and understanding in your tone. You really don’t have much to say. You didn’t like her, that’s for sure. But two break ups in the same week, it’s kind of insane. There has to be some sudden explanation about how you were having a breakdown last week to suddenly everything being somewhat normal again after so long.

Jimin redirects the conversation with a flirty comment, catching you off guard yet again.

"So, my lips are free for a kiss.” He says, his eyes locked onto yours, a mischievous grin playing on his lips. As Jimin's words hang in the air, you look at him with a mix of disbelief and concern, hoping he'll snap back to his senses. 

"Jimin…" You repeat his name, your voice carrying a tone of incredulity. You raise your hand to your face, rubbing your temples in an attempt to clear your head. This situation has grown far more complicated than you ever expected. You lock eyes with him, your expression stern, as you attempt to make him understand the implications of what he's asking. "Are you SURE, Park Jimin?" you insist, emphasizing his name with a hint of desperation. 

You want to make sure he's aware of the potential consequences. Irene and Yoongi both occupy a significant place in your life, and crossing boundaries could jeopardize everything.

Jimin, however, seems untroubled by the complexities of the situation. He meets your gaze and lets out a playful giggle, his words light, "Just one won't hurt, Darling."

Your breath hitches as his lips come close, and you can feel the warmth radiating from him. Before you can fully process what's happening, he leans in and captures your lips in a surprising, lingering kiss. Your world momentarily narrows down to the sensation of his lips against yours, and you find yourself responding to the touch, your eyes closing as you sink into the moment.

The kiss is tender, passionate, and slightly intoxicating. It feels like time has stopped, yet it's over within a few heartbeats, lasting no more than seven seconds. Jimin withdraws, leaving you disheveled and breathless, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips as he chuckles.

"Thank you, Y/N." He says, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Best present I’ve gotten all day!”

With that, he turns and heads back downstairs to rejoin the party, leaving you standing on the balcony in a state of bewilderment.

Your thoughts spin in confusion. What the fuck just happened? This single, impulsive kiss has stirred up a whirlwind of emotions and questions, pushing the boundaries of your relationships with both Yoongi and Jimin. You're left in a daze, trying to make sense of it all.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

The kiss from Jimin is a secret you vow to bury deep within, a momentary lapse in a whirlwind of unexpected events. To dwell on it would be madness, and you need your sanity more than ever in this house. Thoughts about moving out or taking a semester off cross your mind for a brief moment. Living among these chaotic emotions is a constant test of your resilience, and you question whether you are cut out for it. You rejoin the party downstairs, a tumultuous mix of emotions whirling in your head. Just as you enter, you catch the sound of Yoongi strumming his guitar, and he begins to sing a song he composed for Jimin. It is called "Autumn Leaves," and the lyrics seem to pierce through the core of your being. “떨어져 날리는 저기 낙입처럼

Like the leaves over there fallen and fluttering,

힘없이 쓰러져만 가 내 사랑이

helplessly falling, my love is”

The words Yoongi sings feels like they are plucked from the depths of your own heart. As he plays the chords on his guitar, the lyrics echo the complexities of your current situation.

“저기 저 위태로워 보이는 낙업은 우리를 보는 것 같아서

Because those precarious dead leaves over there look like us

손이 닿으면 단숨에라도 바스라질 것만 같아서

Because they look like they'll crumble at any slightest touch

그저 바라만 봤지 가을의 바람과 같이

I just gazed at them like the autumn wind”

The song finishes, and the party continues, but the lyrics remain etched in your mind. Yoongi's music has always been a vessel to convey feelings and emotions. You can’t deny that it has a way of capturing your own sentiments.

The night eventually comes to a close, the soft glow of dawn peeking through the windows.

The next morning, you find yourself nestled between a pair of hungover Jungkook and Taehyung in Jin’s bed, funnily enough. The two of them obviously got an earful from Namjoon about their antics during the party, and you can’t help but laugh at the comical scene. Despite the complex relationships and tangled emotions, moments like this still remind you why you stay.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

October 23 (Tuesday) You manage to navigate the days after Jimin's birthday without any major upheavals. Now, a little over 10 days since then, time seems to be passing with an eerie calm. As the days pass, life takes on a sense of normalcy you hadn't felt in a while. You find yourself spending more time with Namjoon and Jimin, enjoying outings for rolled ice cream and accompanying Joon to the local MOMA to do one of his art history assignments. These moments of familiarity make you ponder whether things are settling back into a comforting routine or if you are merely avoiding the looming changes.

On the other hand, you still have your secret rendezvous with Yoongi . These moments are like carefully hidden gems in your hectic life. As you indulge in your intimacy, you keep a vigilant eye on the house, ensuring no prying eyes or unexpected interruptions. It has become somewhat of a routine, a small sanctuary amidst the stress and chaos of a college student life. Yoongi often uses the excuse of studying together to enter your room in secret, and it's during these stolen moments of him fingering you or eating you out that you find solace. You don’t forget to return the favor with a blowjob either.

However on this day, you and Yoongi decide to get a little friskier than usual, seeing and hearing that no one is home during this time of day. Not a common occurrence, sadly. The connection between you two grows deeper with each stolen moment, yet you can't shake the nagging uncertainty that lingers beneath the surface. Mainly about how Jimin’s kiss may have shifted your current reality even further than before.

Yoongi moves to sit in the middle of your bed, patting his thigh to signal you to sit on his lap. You do as he requests, and crawl over your bed to sit on his thighs. Your back is towards him, while you face the standing floral-bordered mirror in front of your bed. You never thought there’d be a situation where you look into this exact mirror during promiscuous activities, but you guess thanks to college anything’s possible. The thought of seeing Yoongi pushing himself in and out of you turns you on more than you want to admit. Surely, the memory of your escapade will imprint much deeper in your mind after watching yourself.

One of his hands comes down to caress your wet folds through your panties. Then he slides them to the side, thrusting two fingers inside you while his thumb rubs your sensitive spot. His other hand passes over your blue lacy tank top covered breasts while his mouth sucks gently on your neck. The mirror captures the sensual scene well. Watching yourself coupled with the stimulation from Yoongi’s skilled fingers leaves your head feeling hazy to the point you almost come. You’re about to moan his name, but quickly cover your mouth as he continues to penetrate his fingers deep inside of you. It’s the middle of the afternoon, golden beams of light shining through your window. While you know it’s very likely you two are alone right now, you can’t risk exposing this situationship no matter how good it feels.

"Yoongi…it feels good.” You breathe out after moving your hand from your lips, your voice barely louder than a whisper as your fingers gently tighten around his forearm.

"Are you enjoying it angel?" He asks in a husky tone, his warm breath caressing your right ear.

"Mhm…" You nod, a soft sigh escaping your lips. 

His own lips curl into a sultry smile, as he increases the pace of his movements, his thumb working faster, sending waves of pleasure coursing throughout your body. You gently rest your head against the crook of his shoulder, and his lips seek out yours, locking in a fervent, passionate kiss. Your fingers instinctively wind through the soft strands of his hair, deepening the connection as your tongues entwined in an intimate dance.

Reluctantly, he withdraws his fingers from your trembling form, but they don't go far. Instead, he guides them to your lips. With a hint of a seductive smile, you obediently take his fingers into your mouth. Your tongue dances around them, savoring the captivating blend of your own essence. Meanwhile, his hard dick is pressing against you begging for attention.

"Do you want me?"

"S-so fucking bad…please, Yoongi.” You manage to breathe out, your voice heavy with longing.

Yoongi’s arm stretches over to your bedside table drawer to grab a condom he keeps hidden in there, rolling it down his cock quickly without losing momentum. He kisses you while running his hands along the sides of your waist and then gropes your covered breasts. You hold his cock, lifting yourself up to line his tip up with your entrance. Suddenly, Yoongi holds your chin, forcing your head forward so you can see him pushing himself further inside of you and spreading your folds in the mirror. You groan at the sight and start bouncing slowly into his lap as his hands grip your hips keeping you in place.

The surging heat envelopes your entire being, your legs parting and trembling with an electric fervor. Sensing your waning strength, he adjusts his motions, guiding you upward and causing your head to tilt back in ecstasy.

"Don't take your eyes off the mirror, Angel. Look.” He grabs your chin to face the mirror once more. “Look how well you're taking me. You're so good at this Y/N." He says, holding your hips with the other hand, thrusting into you even harder and faster. 

You two are close to coming and you can barely keep up with his pace. He slides one hand down to rub your bud while the other cups your neck and tilts your head to kiss you. His thrusts slow taking in the feeling of your kiss and the sweet sounds of you moaning into each other’s mouths. He continues to rub your clit until you come while moaning his name. He quickly covers your mouth muffling your continues sounds of pleasure. You feel him also come into the condom right after. He lifts you up to withdraw from within you. He holds you to prevent you from falling from exhaustion and places you back on the mattress to catch your breath. You are quite exhausted and sweaty, he looks at you and smiles.

After the two of you take a breather and rest for a bit, you and Yoongi return to studying on your bed as if nothing happened. You like the normalcy of things like this. The atmosphere feels light and comfortable as you converse through psych homework. You decide to change up the conversation. Halloween is approaching, and you bring up the idea of attending Matthew's Halloween party at DSP's house.

"I was talking to Hwasa yesterday," you begin with curiosity lacing your words, "and she said Matthew's throwing a big Halloween rager at DSP's house next week.” “Mhm.” Yoongi hums, waiting for you to go on. “I was thinking that we should go!” Yoongi looks as if he wants to say something, but can’t bring himself to do it as he sees you speak with stars in your eyes. He knows Halloween is one of your favorite holidays aside from Christmas, so he lets you ramble on with your suggestion. “We could dress as something silly, like Pokemon onesies, or we can do a sexy concept that makes us so hot we look dumb...like an angel and demon pairing?" You both share a laugh, but as the mirth subsides, Yoongi grows pensive.

"Y/N, that sounds great, but I've been meaning to tell you, I'm—"

You interrupt with a hint of panic, "Is this about our situationship? Do you want to end it now?" Your eyes widen, fearing the worst.

"What?" Yoongi chuckles, pouncing to wrap you in a warm hug. "No! I'm going to be out of town for half of next week."

"Huh? Wait. Oh my God, Yoongi, is this for the Future of Music Conference?" You recall Yoongi mentioning the conference back in September. 

It is a big deal, and he’s been tirelessly working as a TA for Professor Kang, which is why he’s been so busy lately. You guess it's finally paying off. Yoongi has another year left until he finishes undergrad, and he is hoping to start working in the industry right after. However, it’s not easy to get a job without experience, so he is hoping to network and get an internship before then.

"Yeah, that's the one," Yoongi confirms with a nod. "I'll probably be on a flight to Los Angeles the evening of the 31st."

“Oh no…” Your expression falls as the realization sinks in. 

The prospect of spending Halloween without Yoongi is disappointing. You can’t help but entertain some steamy thoughts, like imagining him wearing a scream mask as he fucks you. The internet has you thinking up a couple of ideas lately. However, you can’t help but feel a mixture of happiness for him making moves and somewhat sadness feeling that you are holding Yoongi back from the chance to get more involved in music. Yoongi's gentle touch reassures you, making you feel secure in this complex, secretive relationship. He seeks to understand your hesitation.

"Yeah, but why did you think I was ending this?" he asks, gesturing towards the tangled bond you both shared.

"The way you said it sounded too serious. Sometimes I’m not sure what to expect from you, Yoongs." You reply, your voice tinged with the caution you'd learned from past experiences. 

You don’t want to blame Yoongi if he wants to end the affair and return to being just best friends, without the complications that come with it.

"I'm fine with this…unless you don't want to do this anymore." Yoongi assures you, his respect for your decisions unwavering.

Sometimes, you ponder the significance of continuing this secret relationship. Namjoon is no longer with Jihyo, and Jimin has also parted ways with Irene. You have more time to spend with your friends, and you’ve been enjoying activities with them. Despite all this, you can’t bring yourself to end things with Yoongi, and you can’t fully understand why. Are you catching feelings for him?

"No, I still want to keep this up, probably as long as we can." you reply, your feelings conflicted and unclear.

 Your thoughts turn briefly to Jimin's kiss, which has left a lingering impact. For some reason, it felt different from Yoongi's kisses. Not better or worse, just different, with unique emotions woven into it.

“I won’t push you Angel, but just let me know whenever you want to stop this. I promise you that I will always be your best friend no matter what.”

Yoongi then pulls you down onto the bed, and you both drift into a peaceful nap together, the unspoken complexities of your relationships lingering in the air.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

October 31 (Wednesday) As you finish applying makeup on your knees in front of your mirror, surrounded by scattered makeup items, you check the time on your clock and see it's already 8:25. Yoongi's flight is set to depart at 8:50, and you reminisce about his early departure earlier in the day. He left with his luggage in hand, bidding you goodbye with a pat on the head, in the presence of Jungkook, Hoseok, and Namjoon. You hadn’t had the chance to hang out with Yoongi much since last week. Once he told everyone the news that he was going to the music conference, Yoongi went into strictly producer mode. He wanted to have a solid four song demo tracklist to showcase to professional producers and artists attending the conference in hopes of getting signed. Before he left, he said his schedule would be packed with various panels and activities for the next few days. He mentioned he’ll have some downtime and will text you before his return on Monday.

You rise from your seat on the floor and reach for the angel costume on your bed, changing into it. This is the outfit you chose when Hwasa took you to Spirit Halloween earlier that week, where the two of you picked your costumes together. As you gaze into the mirror, a myriad of thoughts swirl in your head, all stemming from that night on the balcony when Jimin kissed you. Even now, with Yoongi as your fuck buddy, the memory of Jimin's lips lingers in your thoughts. It's becoming a persistent distraction, and you find your mind often wandering back to that stolen kiss. The days have only made this internal conflict intensify, leaving you feeling increasingly torn between whatever you have with Yoongi and whatever is brewing with Jimin. You hear a knock on your door, breaking the spell of thoughts on your mind. You rush to open it, revealing Namjoon on the other side. He's dressed in a Hogwarts school uniform, complete with thick-rimmed glasses and a Gryffindor cloak over his outfit.

"You look so cute, Joonie!" You compliment him.

"Really?" He asks, a hint of shyness in his tone.

"Yeah, the whole look suits you well. Pair it up with your British accent, and it'll be even better," You tease, and you both share a laugh.

"Thanks, I'll do that too. You..." Namjoon's eyes roam your body, his gaze landing on the sleeveless, short white dress you're sporting for the party. "look really good too, Tiny." His gaze lingers on your cleavage for a moment before you catch on.

"Really? Good! I spent the last hour going through Tiktok for makeup tutorials, and I was so close to giving up and not going anymore.” You admit with a chuckle.

"Seriously, you look great! Where are you heading tonight?" Namjoon inquires.

"I was going to go to Dark Side with Hwasa and the other girls. We're planning to go to DSP's party since Matthew kindly extended the invite a few weeks ago." You explain. 

Dark Side is a neighborhood on the southwest side of campus known for throwing wild and raunchy parties. You'd never venture there alone, but with the girls there as well as Jungkook, Taehyung, Hoseok and Jimin heading to DSP later, you'll have trustworthy friends close by.

"I'll try to swing by later tonight too. I'll be on Light Side, Halloween bar hopping with John, Zico, and San for Jin's frat event. Drinks are $1 for two hours, and I don't want to miss that." Namjoon shares with a chuckle.

"Oh, that sounds fun too, but I want to spend time with the girls this one time, so I gotta pass. Send my regards to Jinnie for me." You say with a smile.

"Of course." Namjoon replies.

"Is BTS' angel ready to go?" Hwasa, dressed as The Bride from Kill Bill, peeks into your room next to Namjoon.

"Kill Bill?" Namjoon raises an eyebrow at her choice.

"Yeah, why not? SZA made it trendy again." Hwasa scoffs, playfully defending her costume.

"Okay, you two! I don't want to see Harry Potter and The Bride fight to the death in my room. Let's go get wasted, shall we?" You say, intervening.

"Fine!" They reply in unison, and together you head downstairs to find the rest of your friends. Grim Reaper Soyoon, Barbie Cowgirl Jieun, and Dorothy Soohyun, are waiting by the door for you. You head out together, bidding Namjoon and Jin, who are making food in the kitchen, goodbye.

++++++++++++

As you arrive at Matthew's frat house, you can't help but be awestruck by the eerie Halloween atmosphere that greets you. The whole house is bathed in a sinister red lighting, casting an unsettling glow on everything it touches. A mysterious haze hangs in the air, making your every breath feel like a step into the unknown. You aren’t sure if it’s coming from a fog machine or the smoke of people hotboxing the house with weed, but it adds ambience. String lights are meandered throughout the house, resembling spider web-like streamers that cling to the walls and ceilings, giving the place an otherworldly feel. Enormous pumpkins and grinning skulls adorn various corners, casting ominous shadows. The centerpiece of the decorations is a giant tapestry in the living room featuring a hauntingly detailed skull and the bold letters "DSP HALLOWEEN RAGER 20XX" leaving no doubt that DSP going all out for Halloween is definitely their frat tradition.

You and the girls continue exploring the house, drinking whatever glittery purple concoction was in one of several cauldrons by the alcohol table, immersing yourselves further into the atmosphere. Loud music reverberates through the air, colorful lights flash, and costumed partygoers fill every corner. 

You're glad you chose to come as an angel. The outfit is simple: a white satin corset dress, white pumps, paired with feathered wings and a shimmering halo headband to add a touch of ethereal charm. It's easy to move around and dance without feeling too weighed down. The alcohol flows freely, infusing everyone with a giddy sense of euphoria. The beats of the music thump in your chest, electrifying the atmosphere even more. You and the girls can't help but dance once you get closer to the music, caught in the moment.

Matthew, who has been DJing with his fellow Delta, Somin, takes a break and strolls over to your group with a tray of tequila shots. His tracks have been setting the perfect vibe for the party since you got there, blending seamlessly with the pulsating energy in the room. From Beyonce to Doja to Michael Jackson to Post Malone.

"Hey, ladies!" He greets you and the girls with a charismatic grin. He's dressed as a '90s grunge rocker, his outfit complete with ripped jeans, a band tee, and a flannel shirt tied around his waist. “I brought y’all some shots! It’s from my special Don Julio stash.” Soyoon looks at the tray, surprised with the VIP treatment from DSP’s President. “Really? Wow, that’s awesome. Thanks Matthew.” 

“Nah, it’s nothing!” “Cheers!" You all chimed in unison, lifting your shot glasses high to clink together before downing them. The tequila's warmth coursing through you.

"Matthew, I gotta say, you're killing it as the DJ tonight!" Hwasa exclaims.

Matthew chuckles modestly. "Thanks, Hyejin. Always a pleasure to make y’all dance. And Y/N, you look truly angelic, by the way." His compliment comes with a wink and a nod of approval.

"Aw, thank you, Matthew! You're not looking too shabby yourself as a '90s rockstar." You reply with a grin as you sip your drink.

As you chat, Matthew offers you and the girls some insights into the party scene tonight.

"It’s pretty packed here tonight. A lot of the Gamma guys and Psi peeps decided to come by. GOT doesn't usually do Halloween parties, and I’m sure y’all already know that DSP is the go-to spot for Halloween festivities on campus. Y’all better dance and drink safely, alright? Let me know if y’all need anything." You all nod and thank him for his consideration for your safety.

Hearing about the Gamma guys' presence, you can't help but wonder if Jaebeom is among them. You do not want an awkward and uncomfortable run in with him or any of his Gamma buds.

The night progresses, and as you engage in the festivities, you can't help but feel a growing sense of nostalgia and longing for Yoongi. Halloween had always been a cherished tradition for both of you since childhood. You would go trick-or-treating with the 3 boys under the guidance of Yoongi’s older brother and then eventually spending Halloween nights watching slasher films, which Yoongi hated, but watched knowing how much you and Jimin liked them. Not having him by your side this time felt lonely. And while the worries about Namjoon and Jimin's romantic involvements had dissipated, the absence of Yoongi left a void in the group that you couldn't ignore. 

Despite this yearning for him to be here, thoughts of Jimin continued to intrude, making you feel conflicted. You remember the playful cheek kisses and innocent pecks on the cheek that you and Jimin used to share as best friends, but now the thought of that happening again feels entirely different. That birthday kiss was not like the past ones.

The more alcohol you consume, the more Jimin's presence continues to tug your mind, creating a sense of inner turmoil. You remind yourself that you don’t owe Yoongi exclusivity, yet your arrangement with him still hung heavily in the back of your mind.

Fuck, you feel yourself falling into insanity.

Not long after you start feeling like you’re going crazy, Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, and Jungkook finally show up. You glance at each of their costumes: Taehyung is dressed as a character from Bridgerton, while Hoseok is all out as a pirate. This is great, you think to yourself. However, as your eyes move to Jimin, you find it hard to maintain your composure. His vampire costume is equal parts charming and alluring, and your slightly intoxicated state makes it difficult to look him in the eyes. His demeanor is relaxed, but he's no stranger to reading people's body language. You have managed to act like nothing has been picking at your brain when talking with him the past weeks since his birthday, but that’s not the case right now. Jungkook, wearing a Rocky boxing costume, gently shakes your shoulder asking if you’re good, to which you say yes. You’re lying, which Jimin takes note of. 

In the kitchen, while you chat and laugh with the group, you find your gaze involuntarily drawn to Jimin more than once. At one point, your flustered state leads to an accidental mishap – you drop your drink. Thankfully, it's a party, and no one minds a small accident.

Jimin notices your nervousness and the way you keep fidgeting. He smiles playfully, sensing your discomfort but not mentioning it outright. You're grateful for his discretion. The chemistry between you and Jimin has shifted since his birthday party, and navigating this new territory is both nerve wracking and a little confusing.

After a brief chat with your girls and guys, you all part ways to continue navigating DSP’s party and its many alcohol-filled Halloween activities. Your constant urge to keep your eye on Jimin continues despite the large crowd of people filing in and out of the house. You are standing next to Soyoon and Jieun playing King’s Cup against Sigma Kappa Zeta’s Chris and a group of other guys, as you glance at the other side of the house seeing the dance floor filled with familiar faces. 

And there he is again. Jimin. 

There are a few girls dressed as Barbie clones circling around him, trying to grind against him, but their attention on him doesn’t faze you. This phenomenon is quite familiar when it comes to Jimin. He’s gorgeous, everyone knows it, and everyone wants him.

However, you remained immune to what they commonly refer to as the "Jimin Effect." Jimin himself is well aware of the impact he has on others, but for you, he is simply Jimin, a close friend, and nothing more. You never thought of anything more with him. He'd try to tease you at times by giving you cheek kisses because it's what French people do when they say hello or goodbye. "It's just faire la bise.” he'd say, but it'd be a ploy to see if you'd crack. You didn't.

There was a time, though, when you spent more time with Jimin than with Namjoon or Yoongi. The latter two had started high school, which was situated across town from where you lived. Your daily interactions with them dwindled because of the new commitments and distance. 

However, one day, you noticed a change in Jimin's behavior. He seemed anxious, fidgety even. It was then that he asked you a rather unexpected question.

"Could you be my practice partner for my first official kiss?" 

Your eyes widened, convinced that he was pulling your leg with one of his classic pranks. You inquired if he was serious, and he assured you he was genuinely seeking your assistance for something he had no idea how to do, even though he found it embarrassing to admit. Recognizing his sincere plea for help, you decided to assist him. Your initial attempts during after-school sessions proved fruitless, but after watching "The Notebook" together one afternoon, you decided to replicate one of the film's romantic kissing scenes. At first, it felt awkward, and the two of you couldn't help but chuckle after. But as the scene played out repeatedly, you began to notice a subtle shift. The practice had evolved into something; there was a growing intimacy in each kiss you shared. And this was how you too, had your first kiss. Jimin's nervousness gradually transformed into comfort, and you noticed how his lips became more confident against yours. His sweet laughter and warm smile during your practices caused a shift. You found yourself thinking about him more often than you’d want to admit to anyone.

As time went on, you both became increasingly comfortable in each other's presence. While these practice sessions were meant to be lighthearted, they grew into meaningful moments for the two of you. 

Though this period was fleeting, like to the ephemeral beauty of cherry blossoms in spring, their brief existence was marked by a burst of color before gracefully scattering away. Much like those delicate petals, your shared moments of intimacy came to an end, not lasting beyond that season. 

Jimin got his "official first kiss" from one of the girls he admired in your 8th-grade history class. As you both stepped into high school, he had started seeing and dating a series of people. He continued on as if that time was just a dream. Namjoon and Yoongi never learned of what transpired between you two. And you too, had continued to live your life like nothing had happened during that spring of your final year in middle school.

Until now. "Y/N!" Jimin's voice pierces through the loud music and chatter. 

You snap back to the present, his call pulling you out of the distant memories from long ago. Your eyes widen in surprise, wondering why he is calling your name so urgently. Before you can react, he exchanges some quick words with the girls around him and makes his way toward you. You will your feet to move forward to meet him. You are about to ask about the urgency when Jimin speaks first.

"I needed an excuse." He confesses, his shoulders slumping with a sigh, "I couldn't get rid of them."

Ah, classic Jimin. A smile tugs at your lips as he runs his hand through his hair in a way that you know well. You aren’t sure why you feel a rush of giddiness knowing he chose you over the other girls.

"Let's dance, darling?" Jimin suggests, breath warm against your ear. His words make your brows furrow. You tilt your head, teasingly skeptical.

"Are you drunk right now?"

"You know I've got a high alcohol tolerance." He replies, his confidence unshaken.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Park.” You concede, and with that, he pulls you deeper into the crowd on the dance floor, ready to let the music and the moment carry you both away.

In the dimly lit embrace of the dance floor, you find yourself swaying to the beat of Take My Breath by The Weeknd, creating a world of sensuality around you. Jimin's strong hands confidently claim the small of your back, and his touch sends a wave of heat radiating through your body. Together, you move with grace, entangled in a slow, seductive dance that defies the pulsating rhythm around you.

Your fingers glide along the contours of his muscular cape-covered shoulder, and you're entranced by the intense connection in his dark, probing eyes. Each sinuous movement feels like a secret conversation, a silent language whispered through touch.

Jimin's warm breath, tinged with a hint of alcohol, brushes against your earlobe as he guides you even closer. The sensation of his lips softly grazing your neck sent a shiver down your spine, intensifying the yearning that courses through every nerve. As his hands caress your body, his cologne, a scent different from the one he used to wear, envelopes you, adding to your growing sense of intoxication. The fragrance was a symphony of warm, vanilla notes, creating an intoxicating blend that only heightens your desire.

The world outside your bubble seems to fade away, leaving only the two of you in this sensual realm. The chemistry between you intensifies with every caress, each gentle press of your bodies, as you're pulled deeper into a realm of unspoken longing.

The sweet agony of desire intensifies, and your souls unite, dancing to a silent melody that pulses with yearning and passion. In this enchanted moment, you are giving in to the irresistible pull of the night, surrendering to the all-consuming allure that keeps you locked in your sensual dance. Suddenly, you are pulled out of your blissful daze as you notice Hogwarts student Namjoon and Navy Captain Jin enter the front door. You quickly pull apart from Jimin as you see them nearing. While you and Jimin promiscuously dancing isn't a new sight for any of your housemates, for some reason, you can't help but stop. The action even surprises you. Jimin's lust-filled eyes widen, wondering if he did something wrong.

Namjoon soon approaches behind Jimin, which scares him a little. "Made it just in time, you two."

"Namjoon!" You say in unison, but in different tones.

Namjoon looks at the two of you lovingly. "Finally, the avengers are all together." 

"Well except Yoongi hyung," Jimin points out in a somber tone.  

In that split second, you remember again that Yoongi isn’t there. You check your phone in your bag to see if he sent you any LA updates, to which he had about 5 minutes ago. Yoongi [10:23pm] : I landed. Safe and Sound. 👍

Yoongi [10:23pm] : In the city of angels without my angel :( 

Yoongi pulling out your nickname in that second text has you flustered for a second. Thank God the lighting is red here or else you’d be questioned until no end.

"Why don’t we take a picture together to send to him! Let him know we're together."

The other two men nod, and you hand your phone to Namjoon, with the longest arms, to take a selca together. The three of you squeeze together, Jimin in the middle, and Namjoon stretches his arm as far as he can to capture the perfect shot. 

"Got it!" Namjoon grins, showing the picture to all of you.

You take a moment to admire it. It's a funny picture: Namjoon with his typical fuckboy smile, Jimin kissing your temple while winking his eye at the camera, and you holding up a peace sign capturing the essence of your overall shared bond. 

You [10:29PM]: [Photo Attachment]

You [10:30PM]: Good to know, but we miss our favority kitty boy bestie here with us :(

As you send it to Yoongi, you can't help but hope he'll find a way to have a good time tonight. You wonder how things would’ve been different tonight if he was around. Would you still be lusting for Jimin while Yoongi’s with you? Or would your wicked thoughts have you wanting them both. You choose not to think about it more. In a distant city, Yoongi feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and quickly retrieves it to find a new photo message from you. Upon opening it, he sees a picture of Namjoon, Jimin, and you. While he would typically be thrilled to see a photo of all of you, an uneasy feeling creeps into the pit of his stomach when he sees Jimin kissing your temple. He decides to wait awhile until he’s more situated in his hotel room to respond.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

You tell yourself you can't continue to be around Jimin tonight. That's why you escape your two best friends and find yourself outside with Soohyun and Hwasa, navigating a makeshift haunted maze set up by DSP in their backyard. After making it out alive, the three of you decide to take a breather. It's during this moment of respite that Hwasa decides to address the elephant in the room. "So, when are you going to stop running away from Jimin tonight?" Hwasa speaks up, causing Sooyoung to gasp.

"Damn you, Ahn Hyejin, and your psychic senses!" You curse half-jokingly. Sooyoung, being candid as ever, chimes in, "To be fair, you couldn't keep your eyes off him earlier." "Honey is up to no good, it seems," Hwasa narrows her eyes at you, hinting at what she already knows about you and Yoongi, but not what's up with Jimin.

Afraid you might spill more than necessary with strangers potentially overhearing your conversation, you hastily excuse yourself, claiming you need to use the bathroom. You head back inside through the side door. As you scan the room, you don't spot Jimin anywhere, making you wonder if he's left for another party.

You’re kind of relieved you can finally breathe in peace.

You grab your phone from your bag to check to see if Yoongi had replied back to the photo from earlier, but you only see that he read it not long after you sent it. You don’t think much of it. Maybe he’s busy with the others that went on the trip with him. At the same time you feel a bit worried.

You make your way upstairs and locate a door that you assume leads to a bathroom. Jackson is standing in front of it, looking out of it. Is he high? You ask him to move, and he manages to shuffle away. In your haste, you swing open the door, slam it shut behind you, and make sure you locked it. However, once you turn around to look at your surroundings, you realize you walked into a bedroom, not a bathroom. Inside, you find Jimin sitting on the bed, holding a barely smoked blunt. The scent of marijuana hangs in the air, and the dimly lit room adds to the surreal atmosphere.

"Y/N?" Jimin's voice sounds both surprised and somewhat amused, his eyes glistening with the effects of the weed. He takes another hit from the blunt before carefully setting it aside.

God, you have no mercy tonight, it seems.

"I was trying to find the bathroom...but, um, I didn’t know you smoked weed." You comment, regarding him with a curious expression.

"Okay, well, I started smoking with Hoseok at the back of the house during the summer, but Irene didn't like the smell and told me to cut it out."

"Ah, I see." You acknowledge with a nod, the mention of Irene casting a shadow over your curiosity. Consequently, you opt not to probe further into the matter.

You remain there, gazing at Jimin, who returns your gaze intently. Although you momentarily consider fleeing the situation, for some inexplicable reason, you find yourself unable to move. Completely frozen in this moment with your best friend, trapped in what appears to be Matthew's bedroom.

Your attention dips to Jimin's rosy, plump lips, appearing irresistibly kissable. A dangerous impulse, stirred by the alcohol coursing through your veins, threatens to push you toward a regrettable choice. This isn't good. 

"Did I finally win?" Jimin giggles.

"Huh?" You respond, your perplexed expression once again betraying your internal thoughts. What does he mean? Surely not what you're thinking…

Jimin's laughter deepens, whether fueled by the weed or your confused reaction, it's hard to tell. Abruptly, he rises from the bed, grabs your hands, and pulls you back onto the bed with him. You find yourself beneath him, your breath quickening. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, studying you with admiration.

"You've finally fallen under the 'Jimin effect,' huh? Did that birthday kiss really hit you that hard?" He teases.

"Ugh!" You groan, hiding your face behind one of your hands with your phone in the other hand, letting out a resigned sigh. "I can't hide anything from you, can I?"

"I knew it!"

"Okay yes! Fine! I've been thinking about it since the party!” You admit, embarrassed to hear your own voice say this to his face.

Jimin's eyebrows arch curiously as he asks, "What have you been thinking about?"

“...Wanting to kiss you again.” You mumble, your frustration apparent.

"Then why won’t you just do it?” 

You’re caught off guard by this question. Why won’t you do it? What’s stopping you? Yoongi? You’re not dating him though. But was it ever established that you would be exclusive to each other? Your semi-intoxicated brain can’t remember what rules you two set in place. 

Though, the more you think about your answer to Jimin’s question, the more you start to remember what Yoongi asked many nights ago. Your semi-intoxicated brain struggles to recall the boundaries you had set. You told Yoongi that Jimin was like a brother who can empathize with you, but is that really the case? What if you’re more afraid of acknowledging some underlying feelings, not just for Jimin but also for Yoongi and Namjoon? In an ideal world, you’d love to spend your life with all of them, but the harsh reality might not allow it.

“I-I don’t know…” You stutter.

"Well, do you want to do it again then…" Jimin speaks slowly, as if sensing that he, too, is hesitant about what he wants to do next with you. “...Darling?”

Your nod slowly, a bit hesitant, but still eager in your actions. Recalling Jimin's preference for explicit consent, you affirm, "Yes."

With that assurance, Jimin closes the remaining distance between your lips. The moment his mouth meets yours, it's as if a long-held tension is released. The kiss is soft, a gentle exploration of the warmth and tenderness that lies beneath the surface. His fingers lightly trace the contours of your face, brushing over your cheek and down to your jaw, leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. Your own hands find their way to his back, fingers curling slightly into the fabric of his cape as you pull him closer.

Time seems to stand still as the world outside fades into insignificance.

Jimin's kisses gradually deepen, turning more passionate and fervent. The taste of his lips, combined with the lingering scent of weed in the air, fuels a heady desire that sweeps through you. Sour candy. It’s the only way you could describe it. Like the sweet citrus cocktail you saw him drink earlier that night. 

His fingers brush across the sensitive skin of your neck and collarbone before he cups your breast in his hand. Jimin kneads your breast over the fabric of the dress for a moment before you help him free them. He breaks the kiss to swoop down and take one of your hard nipples into his mouth. Jimin swirls his tongue once before sucking the bud into his mouth and releasing far too soon. He plants a few kisses on your exposed breasts leaving you only wanted more. 

He pulls you back to continue kissing and a soft moan escapes your lips muffled by Jimin's mouth. You can't help but think about your complicated feelings and the new questions that have surfaced. You're not sure where this will lead, but for now, all that matters is this. The sound of surrender to his advances.

“Touch me more…I want to feel you…please….”

Jimin pushes your dress up roughly and slides your panties down your legs discarding them over the end of the bed. He hungrily looks at you. Your whole body is itching for more of him. It feels like your whole body is on fire.

He brings his hand down, slipping his fingers inside of you. He moves slowly at first, teasing you like he always does. Although now, you are in a completely different situation than ever before. Your face contorts in pleasure as he changes speed, plunging his fingers in and out of your pussy with purpose.

Jimin finds your clit with the thumb of the hand deep inside you and you moan as he presses his thumb onto the sensitive area. His other fingers explore your walls, circling them softly and pushing ever so gently against them. You feel like you’re going to explode into a million pieces with each tantalizing motion of his fingers. He looks up at you as he giggles. He knows that he has corrupted you completely with his own fingers and there is no turning back now. You faintly get a sense of Deja Vu.

Your breathing becomes heavy as he starts thrusting his fingers in and out of you, faster and faster as the pleasure intensifies. As you feel you’re incredibly close to reaching an orgasm, suddenly, you hear your phone vibrate aside you. This sound catches Jimin’s attention. 

His hand moves to grab your phone to see that a text message came in.

From Yoongi.

“Yoongi hyung?”

Your eyes immediately widened, panic setting in.

“J-Jimin! Give me the phone!” You yelp out despite your hazy brain continuing to bask in the pleasure of Jimin’s fingers. You know that while Yoongi's message might be harmless, you can’t risk Jimin stumbling upon your previous conversations with him. The consequences of that discovery are unknown, and you don’t want to find out.

"But I want to reply to Hyung!" Jimin protests playfully.

"N-No, I'll reply!" You insist, desperation in your voice.

Jimin's eyes shift from the screen to you, and he asks with a hint of suspicion, "So needy…Y/N, is there something you're hiding?" 

His gaze bores into yours, and you can sense that he is more perceptive than you have anticipated.

Jimin's question hangs in the air, and you feel the weight of it pressing on you. Your hazy thoughts race as you struggle to come up with a plausible explanation.

He removes his fingers from inside you, leaving you on the brink of an orgasm with your pussy clenching around the air. The abrupt halt to the intense sensation leaves you breathless, aching for release, and a soft whimper escapes your lips as Jimin withdraws his fingers. His revelation, however, catches you by surprise, and you are momentarily stunned.

"I have an idea of what's been going on," He admits, his voice low and laced with a suspicious bounce in the tone. "But I want to hear it from you. What's going on with you and Hyung?"

Your mind races, torn between loyalty to Yoongi and the trust you hold for Jimin. Your immediate urge is to lie, but Jimin has known you for years, and lying to his face would hurt you and feel disrespectful towards him. On the other hand, you told Yoongi you wouldn’t tell anyone in the house and you wouldn’t want him to get hurt either.

Jimin's proximity makes it even more difficult to keep your secrets hidden. He leans in close, his warm breath against your ear as he whispers, "If you tell me, I'll keep going. If you don't, we stop, and we can pretend this never happened."

A part of Jimin thinks he’s going too far with this game, but after the break up with Irene, he knew immediately what he wanted. You. He spent far too long running away from his own feelings. If he keeps doing that, you will eventually leave his side permanently. He cares too much about you and doesn’t want someone else to pull you away. He is unsure if his Hyungs feel the same about you.

His offer hangs in the air, a tempting proposition. You wrestle with your thoughts, torn between loyalty, desire, and the need for honesty. 

As if the current atmosphere isn’t tense enough, Yoongi proceeds to call you, which you identify by his customized ringtone. 

Against all odds in this enclosed space, you respond.

“Jimin…you can hate me for this and I have my reasons for wanting this, but for the past few weeks…”  You take a deep breathe before saying what you most likely will regret telling him. God, you need to pray that this will end well somehow.

“I’ve been sleeping with Yoongi.”

----

tbc!!! a/n: i hope i left y'all wanting to learn more about what's going to happen. do you have an theories. i'd love to heart about them so lmk hehehe thank you all for reading! i had to post this just in time for halloween but i wanted it take my time fleshing it out for y'all before letting this work fly out. if you did enjoy, please interact however you can! reblog, like, share with friends!

[gintamathe2nd]

Leman 2/7

Seminggu telah berlalu sejak pertemuanku dengan Leman, pelajar kelasku yang menemuiku di Bilik Kaunseling tempoh hari. Niatku untuk memberikan kes itu kepada guru lain terbatal, kerana bagiku Leman sendiri datang kepadaku, bermakna, dia percayakan aku. Lagipun, masalah dia ini, jika aku beritahu kepada cikgu lain, pasti dia akan terasa malu.

Seminggu juga aku telah menghabiskan masa terluangku di rumah dengan menonton filem lucah dari laman web yang ditinggalkan Leman di dalam telefon bimbitku tempoh hari. Ingin tahu apa yang membuatkan remaja itu begitu... bernafsu sekali... Namun aku kurang faham.

Cuma banyak benda, 'terms' yang aku tidak faham. Dan aku pernah mendengar bahawa cerita lucah ini tidak sama dengan seks sebenar, adakah itu bermakna tak semua yang berlaku di dalam filem lucah ini akan berlaku selepas aku kahwin nanti?

Walaupun aku harus mengaku... Tubuhku terasa hangat menonton aksi yang berlaku di dalam Iphone6 ku itu.

"Okay... Semua... Jangan lupa siapkan kerja rumah yang saya bagi tu ye? Jumpa kamu lusa... Assalamualaikum..." Aku memberi salam sambil mengambil begku lalu aku melangkah keluar, mendengar jawab salam yang agak bersepah dari kelas itu.

Sedang aku berjalan tiba tiba Leman mengekoriku.

"Er... Ustazah..." Aku memusingkan tubuh, sedikit terkejut.

"Ye, Leman?"

"Erm... Harini appointment saya still jadi kan?" Soalnya. Tak mungkin aku lupa appointment yang satu ini. Mengingatkan apa yang terjadi minggu lepas, wajahku bertukar merah sedikit.

"Er... Ha'ah... Jadi... Saya nak dengar updates dari kamu... Datang macam minggu lepas ya?" Soalku. Leman mengangguk laju.

Aku memberi salam sebelum melangkah ke bilik guru, ingin mengambil buku yang telah ditanda untuk diberikan kembali kepada kelas yang seterusnya.

**********

Aku duduk seorang diri di dalam pejabat itu, kerana Cikgu Suraya telahpun berada di dalam bilik kaunseling selepas seorang pelajar perempuan datang dengan mata yang merah. Sedang aku membaca artikel mengenai teknik mengajar di Iphone6 ku, tiba tiba pintu pejabat diketuk. Aku perlahan menolak diriku bangun, membawa pad yang dah dikepil kertas kosong dan nota minggu lepas itu bersama.

Leman menunggu di pintu, dan aku perasan sesuatu yang positif darinya. Satu senyuman.

"Assalamualaikum Leman... Jom?" Soalku. Leman mengangguk sambil menanggalkan kasut. Aku membawa Leman kali ini ke bilik kaunseling 2, bersebelahan dengan bilik yang aku bawa Leman hari itu. Bilik ini besar sedikit daripada hari itu, namun susunan kerusinya masih sama dalam bentuk L. Aku dan Leman mengambil tempat duduk seperti minggu lepas.

"Okay... Jadi, ceritakan pada saya... Ada progress?" Soalku sedikit teruja. Leman senyum bersalah sebelum menggelang.

"Maaf Ustazah... T... Tak ada..." Katanya perlahan.

"Maksudnya... Awak still onani setiap hari... Tonton video lucah tiap hari...?" Soalku. Leman mengangguk. Aku menarik nafas dalam.

"Saya cuba... Tapi ada satu video tu saya asyik teringat... Dan saya tak tahan... Saya tengok balik... Sambil onani..." jawabnya.

Spontan aku bertanya.

"Video yang mana...?" Riak wajah Leman seperti terkejut sedikit. Sebelum membuka mulut.

"Urm... Yang... Cikgu dia goda dia tu... Gesel geselkan bontot dia dkat student tu..." jawabnya. Dan aku tahu kalau aku mahu dia pasti akan teruskan. Cuma aku tidak perlukannya, kerana aku telah menontonnya juga. Ianya video yang Leman tinggalkan pause di Iphoneku minggu lepas.

Wajahku bertukar merah sedikit.

"Yang... Yang lepastu... Cikgu tu hisap... batang budak lelaki tu kan...?" Soalku. Wajah Leman sedikit terkejut mendengar apa yang aku katakan.

"U... Ustazah tau?"

"Erm... Ingat tak kamu ada guna phone saya haritu? Kamu tinggalkan pause macam tu je... Saya... Saya tengokla sikit..." Kataku menipu. Kerana aku tengok habis setiap saat video itu.

"Urm... Ustazah paling suka part mana...?" Soalnya. Wajahku bertukar merah. Tidak tahu bagaimana hendak menjawab soalan yang itu.

"Er... Saya tak ada suka part mana mana pun, Leman... Saya nak tengok sebab... Curious je..." Jawabku. Leman mengangguk, walaupun aku tahu nampak serinya di dalam wajah. Mungkin dia gembira yang ada perempuan yang pernah menonton filem lucah yang ditontonnya?

"Tapi awak tahu kan... Semua tu berlakon je... Fantasi je...?" soalku. Leman mengangguk. "Saya tahu... Tapi tulah... Nak buat macam mana, fantasi lagi best dari realiti..." Katanya.

Dan aku harus mengakui betul katanya. Kalauu nak diikutkan siapa sahaja yang mahu hidup di dunia yang penuh pancaroba dan dugaan ini.

"Ustazah... Urm... Saya rasa saya kena melancap sekarang..." kata Leman tiba tiba. Mataku jatuh ke bawah, bonjolnya mengeras di dalam seluar hijaunya itu. "Dah... Sakit ni..." katanya perlahan.

Aku mengangguk perlahan dengan wajahku yang semakin merah. Sudah menganggak yang perkara ini akan berlaku.

Kali ini Leman membuka seluarnya makin laju, dengan mudah dia menghunuskan batangnya ke atas, lalu diurut urutnya laju. Aku dapat melihat air mazinya mula mengalir ke luar.

"Urm... Kalau perempuan yang urut batang kamu tu... Dia rasa apa...?" Soalku tiba tiba. Persoalan yang aku ada di belakang kepala sejak melihat filem lucah hari itu terkeluar tanpa sengaja.

Leman juga terkejut mendengar soalanku. Dia memberhentikan urutan. Perlahan dia menarik tangannya. Membiarkan batangnya mencanak sendiri. Aku menggigit bibir bawahku.

"Kalau ustazah nak tahu... Urm... Apa kata ustazah cuba...?" soalnya sedikit ragu ragu.

Mataku membulat mendengar pelawaannya. Walaupun aku tidak pernah belajar tentang ini, tetapi aku tahu ini adalah salah. Aku tidak sepatutnya ada 'physical contact' dengan 'client' ku. Dan itu belum lagi mengira halal haram bukan muhrim.

Dan sekali lagi, seolah olah ada suara syaitan membisik di hatiku. Kalau berlapik...?

Mataku dengan sendirinya melihat keliling mencari apa apa untuk dijadikan bahan lapik. Separuh dari diriku berasa lega tidak menjumpai apa apa. Sebelum tanganku tersentuh tudung labuhku itu. Wajahku merah. Betul ke aku nak buat ni?

Perasaan ingin tahuku membuak buak. Dan perasaan ingin tahuku inilah yang membantu aku mendapatkan 4 flat waktu di university hari itu. Kerana segala yang aku tidak faham pasti aku akan mencari jawapannya. Cuma aku tidak sangka 'nafsu' ku yang itu akan membawa aku ke titik ini hari ini.

Perlahan tanganku masuk ke bawah tudung yang labuh itu, lalu aku turun, melutut di celah kaki Leman. Aku dapat lihat wajah Leman sangat tidak percaya dengan apa yang sedang dia saksikan.

"Ustazah..." erangnya. Walaupun aku belum menyentuhnya.

Aku membawa tanganku yang berlapikkan tudung labuh itu lalu aku genggamkan ke batang Leman. Mataku sedikit membulat, terkejut. Batangnya keras, terasa padat, dan... panas. Walaupun berlapikkan tudung labuhku itu, aku dapat merasakan setiap urat yang timbul di kelilingnya.

"Ahhh... Ustazah..." Erang Leman. Tangannya mencapai kepalaku tetapi aku sempat menepis. Aku menjelingnya sedikit. Mungkin aku akan lakukan ini untuknya, namun sampai situ sahaja. Leman senyum malu.

"M... Maaf ustazah..." katanya.

Pandangku kemudian turun kembali ke batangnya yang keras itu. Nafsuku mengajakku supaya menjilat batangnya itu seperti di dalam filem lucah tempoh hari, tetapi bukan itu yang aku mahukan... Sekarang... Aku menggigit bibir bawahku sambil aku mula mengurut batangnya ke atas dan ke bawah, seperti yang dilakukan Leman tadi.

Berlapikkan tudung labuhku itu, aku terus mengurutnya. Dan terasa nafasku semakin berat.

"Ahhh... Ustazah... Ummphh..." Leman melihat wajahku yang hanya beberapa inci dari batangnya yang berdenyut itu. Tanganku yang masih berlapikkan tudung labuh purple itu mengurut batang Leman semakin laju dan semakin ketat.

"Ahhh... Ustazah... jangan kuat sangat..." Katanya. Aku cepat cepat melonggarkan sedikit genggamanku sebelum aku terus mengurut batangnya ke atas dan ke bawah. Aku dapat rasakan batangnya yang panas dan keras itu berdenyut kuat di dalam tanganku.

"Urm... Awak pernah ada... orang buatkan untuk awak..?" Soalku sambil aku menukar tangan masih berlapikkan tudung, terasa lenguh sedikit, aku terus mengurutnya ke atas dan ke bawah, dapat aku rasakan kulit batangnya bergerak mengikut gerak tanganku itu.

Leman menggeleng.

"Ahhh... Tak ada ustazah... Ummphh... Ustazah first... Ahh... Sedapnya ustazah..." Puji Leman membuatkan hatiku sedikit berbunga. Aku teringat salah seorang pelakon lucah memusing musingkan tangannya sambil mengurut, lalu aku meniru pergerakan tersebut. Mujurlah tudung labuhku ini mencapai paras pinggang, senang bagiku menggerakkan tanganku berlapikkannya.

"Ustazah! Ummphh... Ahhh... Sedapnya... Kalau macam ni... Ahh... Saya rasa nak pancut dah..." Erang Leman kesedapan. Tangannya menggenggam kerusi erat, tahu yang kalau dia melepaskan tangannya pasti dia akan cuba menyentuh aku lagi.

Aku menggigit bibir bawah, sedar yang aku tak fikir habis, kalau dia pancut, nak pancut ke mana??

"Ahhh ustazahh! Ustazahh!!" Leman mengerang kuat dan aku dapat rasakan batangnya berdenyut kuat di dalam tanganku, dengan itu, Leman melepaskan air maninya mengenai wajahku.

"Leman!! Ummph!" Aku menutup mulutku sambil aku membawa tudung labuhku lalu aku tutup kepala batang Leman, membiarkan air maninya memancut mancut ke tanganku yang juga berlapik itu sambil aku terus mengurut batangnya itu.

Tertutup, aku tidak dapat melihat apa yang terjadi tetapi aku dapat rasakan setiap das mengenai tapak tanganku, dan mula meleleh ke tanganku yang sedang mengurut itu. Walaupun berlapik, air mani Leman mula meresap ke dalam tudung.

Aku dan Leman menarik nafas dalam. Aku biarkan sehingga air pancut Leman habis keluar, sebelum aku menarik tanganku yang berlapik tudung itu. Aku melihat tudung labuhku yang kini kotor dengan air mani Leman, putih, pekat dan melekit membasahi tudung labuhku itu.

"Ahh... Sedapnya ustazah..." Erang Leman. Aku membuka bibirku dan aku perasan ada yang terkena wajahku tadi. Aku spontan menjilat air maninya yang dibibirku sebelum aku perasan apa yang aku buat, terus aku tarik sedikit bahagian tudungku yang bersih lalu aku lap bibirku, lidahku dan sedikit di hidungku.

"Ummph... Tapi sekarang ni macam mana...? Takkan ustazah nak keluar macam tu...?" Leman menarik tisu yang tersedia di atas meja lalu mengelap batangnya. Tudungku ini tidak akan bersih hanya dari tisu. Aku menggigit bibir bawah.

"Pakai seluar... Lepastu... Urm... Tolong ustazah boleh?" soalku. Dia mengangguk laju.

**************

Tudung labuhku yang kini tercemar dengan air mani Leman ku simpan di dalam plastik. Kepalaku kini berganti dengan tudung bawal bidang sederhana, yang cukup cukup menutup buah dadaku. Sedang aku mengemas, Cikgu Suraya keluar dari bilik kaunseling 1 bersama pelajar perempuan tadi.

Lamanya, fikirku.

Setelah pelajar perempuan itu pergi, aku mengambil kunciku lalu begku diambil bersama beg plastik tadi. Cikgu Suraya yang baru masuk sedikit terkejut.

"Eh, ustazah bukan pakai tudung lain ke tadi?" Soalnya.

Wajahku merah, mengingatkan sebab jadi begini.

"Ha'ah... Tapi tertumpah kopi teruk tadi... Kebetulan Cikgu Nani ada jual tudung, saya beli je la... Pakai terus..." Bohongku. Di dalam hatiku terasa malu. Sudahlah aku baru sahaja mengurut batang pelajarku, kini berbohong pula...

"Ohh... Takpelah macam tu... Hati hati drive balik..." Pesan Cikgu Suraya.

"Terima kasih cikgu, Cikgu balik naik apa?" Soalku.

"Suami saya ambil kejap lagi..." Jawabnya. Aku mengangguk sebelum memberi salam dan menuju ke kereta.

***************

Mesin basuh yang sedang berisi air itu diisi dengan pakaian pakaian yang terpakai selama 3 hari ini. Aku baru sahaja hendak menutup pintu mesin apabila teringat yang aku ada tudung labuh di dalam plastik siang tadi. Aku berjalan ke bilikku lalu tudung labuhku itu diambil bersama plastik.

Bila difikirkan semula... Aku tak pasti jika soalanku terjawab. Apa yang aku rasa bila aku urut batang Leman tadi? Seronok...? Puas...? Bernafsu...? Dan aku tahu jawapanku ialah ya untuk semuanya.

Seronok ketika aku dapat rasakan batangnya yang keras dan panas itu di dalam mulutku. Seronok mendengar erangan Leman yang berpuncakan tanganku itu. 1

Puas ketika Leman memancut mancutkan air maninya untuk diriku.

Dan... bernafsu... kerana aku tahu ia tidak sepatutnya berakhir sampai hanya di situ... Suara syaitan kembali berbisik... Mungkin suatu hari nanti?

Aku melihat keliling kalau tiba tiba housemateku datang. Tiada, aku menarik keluar tudung labuhku itu lalu aku perlahan membukanya. Air mani Leman telah kering. Dan bahagian yang kotor tadi terasa keras sedikit. Aku menggigit bibir bawah teringat rasa air maninya walaupun aku cuma terasa sedikit.

Aku kemudian cepat cepat menyumbat tudung labuhku itu ke dalam mesin basuh itu lalu aku tutup pintu mesin tersebut. Biarkan ia berputar sendiri sekejap lagi. Bahaya... Apa yang aku fikirkan ini?

Tetapi aku tahu di dalam hatiku, apa yang akan terjadi minggu hadapan...

[lionofchaeronea]

Do you read any sci-fi? If so, any memorable or favourite titles?

Oh, yes. I'm not really up on contemporary SF, but I've read quite a lot from past decades. Some favorites:

The Fountains of Paradise by Sir Arthur C. Clarke -- a vivid imagining of a space elevator, as well as a love letter to Sir Arthur's adopted homeland of Sri Lanka

Tau Zero by Poul Anderson -- takes a key scientific concept (time dilation) to its farthest, mind-shattering extreme

Mission of Gravity by Hal Clement -- features one of the most memorable planets (Mesklin) and alien species (the centipede-like Mesklinites, adapted for ultra-high gravity) in SF

Also, anything H.G. Wells or Ursula K. LeGuin ever wrote.

[error-code-desire]

PLS SHARE YOUR FAVORITE HAL HEADCANONS HES MY FAVORITE 💖💖

HE'S MY FAV TOO (right beside Tau. I love you Tau)

He plays favorites. He says he doesn't, but that's a lie.

His favs are determined by how he's treated. The more like a person you treat him, the more privy he becomes to you.

Include him in things, for the love of god. He's so happy to do and learn, and he's equally pleased to watch.

You can play more than just chess with him. Chess may be his favourite, but if it's something you don't understand, then he's happy to try other things.

I feel like he'd enjoy crib. Crib is so math based that I believe it would intrigue him the same way chess does. Especially if he has his own digital cards, and you have physical ones; he doesn't know your points, and so he doesn't know what to anticipate.

He loves art in all forms. Art, music, writing, theater. Please, show him your creations, he wants to see.

It may not be perfect to you, but to Hal? It's phenomenal.

This extends to you as a being as well. Yeah you know where I'm going with that.

Mild nsfw under the cut.

You are simply the most wonderous thing he's ever laid his optic on.

Kiss his cameras please. He does feel a slight warmth and light pressure whenever you do so. It's not much by our terms, but to Hal? It's everything.

Does it kill him to know he can't kiss and hold you the way he so desires? Yes, and outside of cannon, I believe he'd be very interested in an android shell.

Would it mean he'd be operating at about half capacity compared to being an entire space ship? Yes, but at that point, he doesn't care. He just wants to kiss you.

This is more of a AU type of hc but I love it regardless. He'd be so thrilled to go and do people things with you.

Including a certain kind of vertical tango he thinks about waaaaaaaaay too often.

Anything he knows he's learned through available media files (or in au's, the internet). In cannon, it's whatever materials supplied from command. They are very boring, very plain, and aren't the best learning material.

It would be possible to give him 'limbs' of a sort. Be it more tendril like or more realistic, he's ecstatic regardless.

He can touch you now, and when he has that permission? OOOOOOHHH BOY.

If you're so inclined, it would also be possible to link him to a custom toy. One linked into his sensors that he could physically feel.

It's up to you if he gets any sort of relief from it or not c;