#by which I mean it's the only one I'm moderately okay at

[elumish]

On Radicalization

I'm seeing a lot of people now talking about radicalization (for obvious reasons) and I want to put my two cents into it.

I'm not a radicalization expert by any means, but I have my MA in terrorism studies, and I'm currently pursuing a PhD in security studies, so radicalization is a thing that I have talked/thought about a fair amount.

I think one of the most important things to understand when you think about radicalization is that "radical" and "extremist" are both relative. Generally, when we're talking about radicalization, we're talking about a sharp political shift to a position outside of what we would consider the norm. What's radical in a liberal city in the United States in 2024 is vastly different from both what would have been radical in that city 150 years earlier and what is radical in some other countries right now.

For much of the last 2+ decades (or at least ~2001-2019), most of what was talked about with radicalization was in the context of islamist terrorism/violent extremism. People around the world were trying to figure out why people (especially in Western countries) were joining al Qaeda or ISIS or why people in Afghanistan were joining the Taliban, etc. What was it that drove one person to do that and another person not to--and, what was it that drove one person with those ideological beliefs to commit violence and one person not to.

Right now, in the US, what a lot of people are talking about is why people (namely young white men) are shifting dramatically to the right, particularly socially, and ending up in the political far right. In particular, why are they now advocating for (or at least voting for people who advocate for) taking away rights that are ~50 years old, as well as being more openly white/Christian supremacist than was socially acceptable 25 years ago, and why are some of them committing far right violence?

I think some of the reality that we have to face is that people have been advocating against abortion (and to a lesser degree birth control) access for those entire 50 years, and people have been white/Christian supremacists this entire time, and we just had a brief period of time when it was a little less okay to say out loud. But anyone old enough to remember the Obama campaigns remembers that the opposition to them was virulently racist and Christian supremacist.

But radicalization is happening, so let's talk about some of the ways that it happens in general. None of these are universally true, and what might radicalize one person might not radicalize another.

Social isolation. Social isolation is an extremely common factor in radicalization. Communities generally do two things: they act as a moderating force, and they give people ties that discourage violence. When studying islamist radicalization, from what I remember, conversion was a factor in likelihood of radicalization--not because there is something inherently radicalizing in the act of converting to a religion, but because converts often found resources online or with communities that specifically targeted new people, ones that were less ideologically moderate.

People who convert are also I think in some cases the people who are more likely to be ideologically driven anyway, because it is more work to convert and so you would only do so if you have a stronger ideological belief in it. You see this with some Catholic converts (e.g., Vance)--they are often more conservative and don't necessarily reflect mainstream Catholic teachings because they didn't grow up in a Catholic community as much as intentionally looking for the things that would make them The Most CatholicTM (ironically and hilariously one of those seems to be disagreeing with the Pope, which is approximately the least Catholic thing you can do).

if you have a community, you're generally also less likely to try to hurt people in that community because they're people you care about. Not a universal truth, obviously, but in aggregate. Being in a community also means that there are people who can tell you that what you're saying is extreme and walk you back from it. If you're isolated, nobody will tell you that.

But overall being isolated makes you more likely to feel like nobody likes or cares about you, which can make you angry and disaffected and looking for someone to blame, and it also makes you far more vulnerable to people who are looking to recruit. If you think everyone hates you and then someone tells you that everyone does hate you except for them, you're probably going to listen to them.

Relative depravation. Relative depravation is the idea that the radicalizing factor isn't having nothing, it's having something and seeing people who have more so you feel like you have nothing. I remember this came up when people were studying who in Afghanistan joined the Taliban, and it was often people who were more middle class rather than people living in poverty. The people living in poverty didn't have time to be radicalized because they needed to put food on the table, but the middle class people could see how good other people had it and how bad they had it and it made them mad. (I am vastly oversimplifying a study I remember from 10 years ago--it's a lot more complicated than this.)

But in the US, we're seeing this with men (who have, on an objective basis, lost political power in the US), and with white people (who have, on that same objective basis, lost political power in the US), and with people from geographic regions that used to have much stronger economies and better opportunities but don't anymore (e.g., coal areas, manufacturing areas). They can look at other people (e.g., women, POC) and say "I lost power and you gained power because I lost power, that's not fair and it's hurting me" or "it used to be better but now it's bad, that's not fair and it's hurting me" and then they get mad about it. And some subset of people who get mad about it decide to hurt people over it, or at the very least they vote to try to get it to not be like that anymore. They want to go back, because to them, back was better.

Radicalized education. One of the reasons why white women are so valuable to the white supremacist movement is not just that they can have white children, but that they can teach those white children. Some of this starts at home, or in the schools, or in the churches. And it's not necessarily radicalization if it starts that way (because people aren't moving politically so much as just being), but there are tens of thousands if not millions of children right now who are learning misogynist, queerphobic, and white supremacist ideas in all forms of their education. Those children who learn the benevolent slaveholder narrative or the states rights idea or that Jews killed Jesus or whatever grow up to be adults, and some of them vote, and some of them vote Republican because the ideas Republicans are spouting are the ideas that they were taught.

Suffering under real or perceived oppression. One of the goals of terrorism, in some cases, is to spark an overblown government reaction, which will then radicalize the populace into rising up against them. This is because, sometimes, for some people, that works--some people suffering under oppression or what they perceive is oppression will become increasingly anti-government (or anti-whoever is oppressing them) and that will sometimes turn violent.

The thing to remember here is that oppression is also in the eye of the beholder, to some degree. By the standards of some right-wing Evangelicals, for example, they are oppressed by the secular federal government, which keeps them from practicing their religion in the way that they see fit.

Justice by any means. This isn't exactly a way that people are radicalized, but one thing I see in people I would consider radicalized on basically all ideological fronts is this idea that justice (or winning) should come by any means. You see this in people who burn abortion clinics or kill abortion providers to "save babies" and people who kill cops as a solution to police brutality and people who stone gay people to death. The idea that your ends justify your means is, to me, a core to true radicalism.

The reality is this: if there was one way to stop radicalization, countries would have done it decades ago. Sometimes it's about drawing people into a community, and sometimes it's about getting them out of the community that is radicalizing them. Sometimes it's about being kind or compassionate to a single human being, and sometimes it's about showing them that they are operating against their own self-interest.

And sometimes it's just about damage control and about keeping someone who is already radicalized and looking to do violence from doing violence.

[xavigav]

The Reddit Blackout, #196, And Being New to Tumblr

okay i've seen a lot of people in the past ~24 hours or so confused by everything going on with Reddit & Tumblr from both sides - people new to tumblr who don't know how to use it, and tumblr users who don't know what's going on with reddit and why many of its users have joined up here i know this isn't really related to my blog but fun fact about me: i was up until recently a very active reddit user and even mod a subreddit, but I've also been on tumblr for about 3 years now on different accounts, so I think I can see pretty well from both sides of this and explain what's going on this post will be split in 2 sections: what happened with reddit (and what #196 means), and a guide for new users

1. What The Hell Is Going On With Reddit?

The thing that's caused all this ruckus is a major change to Reddit's API, which is what Reddit provides to people so they can pull directly from Reddit to make third-party apps or tools.

The change is that Reddit is changing its previously free API to be paid. Which on its own kinda sucks for developers, but it's not unexpected. They need to make money somehow, right?

The problem is that the API pricing is WAY TOO FUCKING EXPENSIVE. The developer of the most popular 3rd party Reddit app, Apollo, says it will cost him $20 million a year to continue running the app as normal.

Essentially, this pricing forces almost everything third-party to shut down, which causes 3 major problems:

Third-party apps cannot keep running, which sucks for normal users because Reddit's official app is awful. It's slow, its video player is a thing of nightmares, it doesn't have many useful features third-party developers have made.

It sucks even more for visually impaired users because they can't use the official Reddit app at all. Reddit's official app does not work with iOS's native text-to-speech function. Third party apps, on the other hand, often do. So Reddit is forcing blind users away.

Third-party moderator tools cannot keep running, which sucks for moderators because many rely on these tools to properly moderate their subreddits. And moderators are often necessary, because without them subreddits get banned and hate speech and even CSA can often run rampant.

So you see why this change is bad.

Reddit users were PISSED.

So over the past week and a half or so, they have been working on organizing a site-wide blackout. The majority of the most active subreddits have now gone private. Some are only doing it for 48 hours, others (such as r/196) are doing it indefinitely.

That's why you can't access most of Reddit right now, and that's why many users have come here.

You're probably still wondering, though - what is this #196?

Well, as you may guess, it's connected to that subreddit r/196 I just mentioned. r/196 is a subreddit which only has one rule: every time you visit, you must post before you leave.

That's it, that's the subreddit.

The thing about r/196 that set it apart from most other subreddits - and what lends the subreddit's users perfectly to Tumblr - is that it was dominated by queer and leftist users.

So now they've come here and set up shop in #196 and r/196 so they can continue their merry little shitposting.

There's a ton of lore related to r/196, actually, but this is already a long tumblr post and quite frankly I cannot be bothered to write about it at the moment.

2. I'm Here From Reddit, What Now?

Hello there, random new user. As a double-citizen of Reddit and Tumblr, let me show you around this place.

First off, there are some other people who are better at explaining that I am who have made some really helpful things. Watch this Strange Aeons video as a guide to Tumblr culture and functionality and read this post which directly compares Reddit and Tumblr.

Assuming you've done that, here's some additional advice of my own:

Do you miss sorting subreddits by top of all time/the year/the month? Well, you can do something very similar with tags! If you go to a tag at the top of the screen you can select top, and then at the dropdown that says "all time" you can select different time periods! Even 6 months, which Reddit hasn't ever had.

Tumblr has a lot of cool customization features! Even outside your icon/banner/bio, you can change you blog colors and on desktop you can have an html theme (which has its own thriving community here). That customization is part of what sets Tumblr apart from everywhere else - I think you'll enjoy playing with it.

Notes will probably confuse you at first. Unlike the different numbers for upvotes and comments, notes combines the total number of likes, reblogs, and replies into the same number.

Outside of organizing your own blog, when making your own posts tags are what help other people find your post. Use them! But don't abuse them, because then people will just block you.

There are three ways of people finding your post: if someone follows you, if someone follows the tag(s) assigned to your post, and if someone is just scrolling through the tag(s) assigned to your post (and also the secret 4th way no one uses, which is finding it on the trending page, but even if people did use it no one will find your post initially that way)

tumblr is no longer The Discourse Website. And unlike what Reddit wants you to believe for some reason, it is very much alive still. Most of the people seeking fights have moved to Twitter (though some have also moved back here again). You will not get any brownie points for being a dipshit like you do on some subreddits.

So there, welcome to the hellsite (affectionate), you'll pick up on all the in-jokes eventually, for now just try not to be a nuisance and soon enough this'll be your new internet home.

[nostalgebraist]

Frank @nostalgebraist-autoresponder will permanently halt operation at 9 PM PST this Wednesday (May 31, 2023).

For context on why, see this post.

(tl;dr this project been a labor of love for me for years, it takes a ton of continual effort, and my heart's not in it anymore.)

----

The blog itself will stay up indefinitely, it just won't make any new posts or accept asks.

Most of the code, models, etc. are freely available right now. Insofar as they are now, they will continue to be. The change on May 31 is unrelated to this stuff.

I've made various interactive demos of these components over the years, and the demos will likely still work after the bot stops. But I won't do any tech support or maintenance on them, and I would actively recommend against using these as a way to "get Frank back."

----

I want to emphasize the following:

The best way for you to "send Frank off" over the next few weeks is to talk to her just like usual.

(And not too often, because she can only make 250 posts a day.)

This is true for a number of reasons, and can be viewed from a number of different angles:

(1)

While it can be fun to anthropomorphize Frank, she is structured very differently from a person, or even an animal.

She does not remember anything, even between two asks made on the same day. Every moment is a new one, with no relation to any other.

If you say "goodbye" or "you're going to be shut off" to her on May 30 2023, it's just as though you had said the same thing to her on some random day last year. She can't tell the difference.

She doesn't know these things are true or relevant now, and she can't possibly know in the way a human would. She's hearing the words for the first time, every time, and reacting in accordance with that.

Think of it like interacting with a baby, or someone with dementia. Every moment stands alone. If you strike a sad tone, they don't appreciate that it's about something. They just know that there is a sad tone, in the current experiential moment.

(2)

Frank mostly operates on a first-come, first-serve basis. She can only make 250 posts a day. There is a limited amount of time left.

Be conscientious about the way you're using up "slots" in this limited array of remaining Frank posts. Don't hog the ride.

(3)

I'm shutting down this bot in part because it's been a long-term, low-grade source of stress to me. I'd like the last weeks of the bot to be as low-stress as they can be.

When Frank gets an unusually large, or just unusual, form of user input over a period of time, I usually have to step in and do something in response.

(if there's way more input than usual and I don't do anything special, Frank will fill up most of her post limit quota before I even wake up, and then the asks will pile up further and further over the rest of the day.)

Maybe I have to delete a bunch of asks. Maybe I have to deploy some temporary change to her mood parameters to prevent the mood from getting too high or low and not coming back to baseline. Maybe I have to turn on "userlist mode," which still involves a cumbersome manual procedure.

Or, maybe I just have to do a lot more content moderation than usual.

"Usual," here, means reviewing and (mostly) approving something like 20 different hypothetical Frank posts per day, every day. If I go do something fun, and let myself forget about this task completely for 6 or 8 hours, there's a backlog waiting for me afterwards. During busy times, there's even more of this.

Just, like, help me chill out a bit, okay? Thanks.

[supergirl000983]

Random Outta Pocket moments on the Ranch.

Y/N: *Falls off horse* Fuck…Ouch

Travis: You ok Darlin?

Beth: *Watching her sister walk funny up to the gate* What’s the matter with you?

Y/N: My Thong is Thonging a little too hard.

Travis: *Looking up at the sky questioning his wife choices* Dear God

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N: *Falling on the couch between Travis and Beth* Damn what a week.

John: Sweetheart it’s 6:30 pm on a Monday

Y/N: *falling back into Travis* Jesus Christ Fuck me.

Travis: Not Jesus, but I can totally do that later tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N: Your existence confuses me greatly.

Jimmy: How so?

Y/N: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of something bad happening to you is upsetting to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John: Are yall sober?

Beth while holding up Y/N: We are moderately functional.

John: I'll take that as a no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Dutton way. Which is the wrong way, but faster.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kayce - Travis, what did I say about PDA?

Travis: *with Y/n on his lap and in the middle of a make-out session* I don't know what you're talking about brother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colby: I'm a real asset.

Ryan: You're only off by two letters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Teeter: Between Ryan, Jimmy, Colby, and Walker - if you had to, who would you punch?

Y/N: No one - they're my friends! I wouldn't punch any of them.

Lloyd: Walker?

Y/N: Yeah, but I don't know why.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kayce: Where's Jamie?

Beth: Somewhere disappointing Dad

Y/N: Somewhere disappointing God

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N: "Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Teeter!"

Teeter: "You can't expect me to look into your eyes and be straight."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Travis: Why is your back all scratched up?

Y/n : *flashbacks to messing with a chicken Travis told her not to mess with

Y/n: I'm having an affair

Travis: What?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kayce: I thought Beth told you to stay in bed

Y/n: She did, but there's a scary monster in my closet, soooo here I am

Rip: was the monster scarier than Beth when She's mad?

Y/n:...

Y/n: I'm going back to bed

Travis: good girl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kayce : I think your mom mixed up our lunches. Look.

holds up a post-it note that says "I'm proud of you and I love you so much."]

Tate: Oh, that explains this.

holds up a post-it note that says

"Please be good. For the love of God, be good. "]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John: If you three can manage not to kill each other while I'm gone-

Y/N: Oh please...

Beth: *Fake smiles*

Jamie: We're not children.

John: ...*walks away*

Y/N: ...

Jamie: ...

Beth: …

Y/N: Fucking Cunt-Cakes

Beth: Eat shit and die.

Jamie: Yes, fuck you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walker: You know, Travis, real talk bro, you never say nothin' when you're around us. Why is that?

Travis: Cause I don't fucking like you guys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John: Don't pull any of those stunts like you did last time.

Y/N: I made an offering.

John: You dropped a dead mouse into Summer’s lap.

Y/N: Yes! Like a cat.

John: You are not a cat!

Y/N: No... tragically, I am a woman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sheriff : Think you can answer questions without the usual level of sarcasm?

Y/N: If you can ask them without the usual level of stupid.

Sheriff : Where's your Dad and why hasn't anyone been able to contact him?

Y/N: I dunno, l've been here, haven't seen him in days.

Sheriff : Is he drinking again?

Y/N: What do you mean again? He never had to stop.

Sheriff: But he did have to slow down, is he drinking like he used to?

Y/N: Alright, how bout this? Next time I see him, l'll give him the field sobriety test, okay? We'll do the alphabet, start with F & end with U.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Beth and Summer arguing*

Kayce: …

Monica: …

Rip: …

John: …

Y/N: l'ma instigate.

Travis: *pulling her back and putting his hand over her mouth* NO!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Travis: *pissed off* Sometimes I can't stand you.

Y/N: *while walking away* Then kneel!And while you're down there, occupy your mouth.

Travis: I.....

Teeter: 000000....

Jimmy: I- I-... She has no fear. None. Absolutely no survival instinct, no self preservation. None!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Travis: To apologize I’m getting you whatever flowers you want

Y/N: Fuck flowers buy me a horse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kayce: Won't be gone long. Left everyone their own list of instructions while I ain't here.

Y/N: Mine just says "Y/N, no."

Rip: Apply it to everything

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N: Why don't you ever take me outside in the middle of the night to look at the stars?

Travis: Cause I woke ya up at 4:30 once to hunt with me and ya said anything before 9am was costin' me my dick.

Y/N: Maybe I meant you'd get laid.

Travis: Ya had a knife, Y/N.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rip: What's wrong?

Travis: Food's hot. Can't eat it.

Y/N: I'm hot.

Travis:*looking exasperated* Don't.

Y/N: You still eat me.

Everyone at the table: *crickets chirping*

John: *beating his forehead on the table* Just-one-normal dinner. I just want one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colby: The fuck's wrong with you?!

Teeter: *sipping her coffee* Wow, could you at least say good morning?

Colby: Good mornin. The fuck's wrong with you?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lloyd: what's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Jake: disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Jimmy: smad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N: I’m a person that likes to think things through.

Jamie: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beth: Do you want to play 20 Questions?

Rip: Sure!

Rip: Whats your favorite color?

Beth: *laser fucking focused* Triangle. Do you love me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[whumpback-wail]

05 - Divulgence

Trial by Fire (Wriothesley x Reader) - TW/CW in masterlist

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IMPORTANT NOTICE: Reminder that this fanfic contains dark and mature themes. The TW/CW are in the masterlist and are constantly updated as I add each chapter. Please reread the warnings, proceed only after you reread the warnings. If you don't like/can't handle the topics mentioned in the TW/CW, please DO NOT read. This work is 100000% fictional and any similarities to real life people and events are purely coincidental, and none of the characters (especially the villains) are real. Again, please DO NOT read if you are not certain you can handle these topics or are in a bad place mentally. Minors are strictly forbidden. I only create content, and I am not responsible for your personal content preference and moderation.

They say being pregnant means everyday is another day closer to meeting the love of your life. One anticipates meeting the fruit of their love with their spouse, looking forward to the bright sunshine days of taking care of that precious someone.

(y/n) did not understand that feeling. In fact she felt the exact opposite, as she slid down the walls of the bathroom, legs too weak to support her own weight. The pregnancy stick in her hand fell to the floor, bouncing to a stop face up, showing the positive sign. Why does this happen to her? What did she ever do to deserve this?

She has to call nurse Komaki, she will know what to do. The thing was still a cell after all, with no soul not consciousness, it should be perfectly fine. It would be so much more cruel to keep the innocent being and let it be born, only for them to later be neglected and unloved. No child deserves that. Not even one born from being forced into her womb by the person she despised the most.

It was nearing lunch, and she knew her fiancé would be back by then, he always makes time to have lunch with her. She has to tell nurse Komaki fast.

(y/n) took several deep breaths to calm herself, and then slowly got up to her bed again, pressing the call button.

A few moments later, she heard the door open.

"Nurse Komaki, I-" (y/n) turned her head, and came face to face with a different nurse altogether. It was not Komaki.

"I'm sorry, nurse Komaki is away right now, her shift will start later tonight. Is there anything I can help you with, miss (y/n)?"

(y/n) blinked back her tears, "n-no. It's okay, nothing too serious."

The nurse stood there, contemplating. "Are you sure miss?"

(y/n) nodded, racking her brain to think of an excuse or anything to justify calling a nurse to her room for nothing. "oh umm… may I have some water please?"

"Sure. It will be delivered here in a moment. Don't hesitate to call me if there's anything else that you need, okay?"

(y/n) hummed and thanked her. She watched as the nurse exit her room. She wanted Komaki, she's the only nurse (y/n) trusted at this moment, especially with something like this.

It wasn't long until the water is delivered to her room, which arrived at about the same time as Wriothesley.

He greeted her with a smile. It normally made her feel safe and loved, but right now, (y/n)'s heart sank to her stomach

"Hey, how's my sunshine doing?"

He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. Wriothesley knew he should be careful around her, as her therapist had suggested to him, at least until she is less jumpy and can initiate affectionate gestures more. So far she's taking his affections very well, which made him happy about her progress.

"As usual," (y/n) forced a smile, briefly looking into his eyes before quickly averting her gaze back to her hands. She picked at a loose string on her blanket. 

Speak more, he will notice something is off.

"The healers were a great help to my physical injuries. But they kept stopping after a little while, saying I should rest up because the sped up healing is also draining my energy."

Wriothesley nodded, "I was told, yeah. How's your stomach? Got anything you're craving to eat?"

(y/n) froze. "What?" She managed to not stammer, but her voice cracked as her heart was suddenly frozen with fear. Did he find out? How did he know-

"Just wondering how your stomach felt." Wriothesley tilted his head, confused. It was a small quirk she had found endearing.

"The doctors did say you can only eat soft food for a while to avoid refeeding syndrome, but yesterday you were finally allowed to start eating bread and some fowl. Also because you threw up yesterday."

"Oh…" (y/n) felt stupid, "it's alright now, although I don't really feel like eating."

Wriothesley watched her for a moment. He has always been someone perceptive, that's how he knew who to trust and who to avoid in meropide while still serving his sentence, and that's how he could rise through the ranks and become the duke, despite his humble beginnings. At that moment, something is off about his fiancée.

“Darling are you okay?” he took her hand in his, his other hand brushing loose strands of her hair behind her ear, “I feel like you have something weighing your mind. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

For a moment, (y/n) wavered. Is it really okay to tell him about her pregnancy? She knew Wriothesley wouldn’t blame her, after all, what happened was not something she wanted, far from it. So technically it’s not her fault right? But a small nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her to just keep it to herself for now. There were too many what ifs. It’s safer to just keep quiet about it and deal with it under wraps. She’ll tell him, of course she will, but not now.

“I’m fine,” she forced herself to look into his eyes, a small smile on her lips. “Just wondering how much longer I have to stay cooped up in here.”

Lunch went well with Wriothesley, he told her about his day. He went back to the Fortress of Meropide for a while, to keep an eye on how things are going there, before coming over to her for lunch. After this he planned to proceed with investigations, and perhaps wrap things up early so he could spend more time with her after dinner.

(y/n) managed to eat a little more, despite the anxiety induced nausea, at least enough to not make her look suspicious.

Once lunch was over, Wriothesley gave her another peck on the forehead and left to continue with investigations, with promises of taking (y/n) to the gardens near the hospital once the doctors gave her the clear, and perhaps visit Navia and Neuvilette, as the two are also her friend, as much as they are to him. He wanted more than anything to stay with her the whole time she recovered, but seeing how she often flinched if he moved a little too quickly, or how her eyes often went blank as if she was not really there, he knew he had to do something about it. The therapist assigned to her told him that she may need some time to process through the trauma, and that it was natural that she would be jumpy for the time being, and would need some space too, as stifling her would also be bad for her mental wellbeing.

He already discussed all the options, and what’s best for (y/n). Once (y/n) has recovered some more physically, and once she is ready, he would take her home and nurse her back to health. He would appoint someone else as the Duke of Meropide if that was needed to get him more time off. Right now, he has something else to do.

He did not tell her that he would be going back to the facility, specifically the hidden passage they found inside her cell. Chlorinde had done a great job in capturing the man, living up to her title of champion duelist.

The entrance was so well hidden in the room, so much so that they had to get Aether to use his elemental sight to find. They had followed the hidden maze-like pathway in the room (y/n) was kept in, and it had led them to an underground base, perhaps their real base of operations. Several men were captured, including Dougier, they seem to work directly with Arderne who unfortunately was nowhere in sight. They were all taken into custody. Wriothesley tensed as he remembered their findings.

"Wriothesley you might want to see this." He turned his head towards Neuvilette who a moment ago was rummaging through papers on a desk. The Iudex now held out a file towards him, his face grim.

The Duke took the file and opened it. There were more papers, this time it contained more detailed reports of experiments done to the people. He ruffled through the pages, skimming the words for one specific name. He found it.

Experiment Clearance Form

Title: Vision Trial Variation 2

Principal Investigator: Il Dottore

Assistant: Arderne

Subject: 1102 a.k.a. (y/n)

Vision: Pyro

This form acknowledges the approval of the experiment titled "Vision Trial Variation 2" conducted by Arderne. The experiment aims to implement the theory of vision injections on humans, followed by observation to discover the effects.

The experiment poses high risks to participants. Potential risks include memory loss, increased body temperatures, seizures, and the possibility of death. Steps have been taken to mitigate these risks. Subject is physically weakened before the start to lower the chances of the body rejecting the injection, thus increasing the success rate of this experiment. On the occasion that this experiment would fail, the study will move on to Vision Trial Variation 3, and the current subject will be discarded.

Fuck.

“Did we find any traces of Arderne?” Wriothesley’s voice dropped several octaves, Neuvilette knew what this meant.

“There are none so far,” he placed a reassuring hand on Wriothesley, “But we do have Dougier now, and we are taking him and the others to custody. We can get more information out of them-”

Wriothesley shook him off and landed a harsh kick on a table to the side, immediately breaking it. He wanted to murder them all, especially that bastard Dottore. He had heard rumours of him doing crazy experiments, but to think it happened right here in Fontaine, with his fiancee? His breaths were shaky with barely controlled rage.

“Wriothesley, I understand how frustrating this is. (y/n) is also my dear friend.” Neuvilette spoke in the most soothing tone he could muster up. “Trust me, I am just as upset as you are in this, but we have to keep a level head. For (y/n)’s sake and all the victims that were forced into this.”

They were deep underground, had they been up on the surface, they would see heavy rain mixed with snow, and thunderstorms raging outside, the weather mirroring the Iudex’s inner turmoil on the entire situation.

• • •

(y/n) wondered if she was dead or dreaming the moment she saw herself on the familiar bed of her room in the facility. Dr Arderne was standing at the foot of her bed reading through the information on his clipboard, while Dougier was securing her arms and legs with restraints.

She had been too weak to resist, having been starved for days without food, the only nutrition she got was through her IV drip and glasses of suspiciously blue coloured water, which she had no choice but to drink.

"Good morning 1102, ready for the next dose? Arderne readied a syringe. It was filled with shimmery red liquid, the glow seemed to pulse the closer it gets to her.

"F-Fuck you Arderne." (y/n) managed to mumble, making Dougier snicker.

Arderne held (y/n)'s arm and injected the contents of the syringe into her. At first it felt like nothing, but gradually she could feel it start to burn, as if fire was coursing through her veins.

It wasn't long until the burning sensation started to feel unbearable. Hot white pain spreads from the point of injection to all over her body. She bit her tongue, trying not to scream, she will not give them the satisfaction of seeing her in pain. She won't-

(y/n) jolted awake, her breaths heavy and ragged and her heart was pounding in her chest. Fuck.

It was a dream. She was safe. It was just a dream.

The room she was in, despite being a hospital room, it was completely different from the facility, with flowers her friends and fiancé got for her, and the comforting weight of her big blubberbeast plushie that Wriothesley brought from their bed at home. She hugged the plush tightly and pressed her nose to its soft fur. It smelled just like Wriothesley, as he had sprayed his cologne all over it, something she often did even before… all this.

(y/n) tried to remember what her therapist had told her. 

My name is (y/n), I am at the Fontaine hospital, guarded by the Spina di Rosula, Wriothesley stays with me during the night, and stops by for lunch. I am safe, and I am recovering.

Her therapist told her that her dreams would eventually go away as her mind heals, but how long will that take?

Glancing at the clock, she noticed it was still early, too early for Wriothesley to come back from his investigation. He had left a book with her some days ago, which she picked up and started to read, trying to get her mind off things.

As she reached for the book on her night stand, suddenly (y/n) felt the familiar tingle in her hands, running all the way up her arms. It was warm and welcoming, it felt like home. A split second later, the book she was reaching for suddenly burst into flames.

• • •

Wriothesley watched Neuvilette from behind the one way glass as the latter asked Dougier more and more questions. The Iudex had presented all the evidence they found on the table. Laying it all out for Dougier as he asked question after question that Dougier only gave vague answers to, sometimes only responding with chuckles. The scum was a goner, his mind seemingly corrupted by the facility.

He wanted to be the one who personally interrogates the vile man, but Neuvilette had forbidden him from entering, for fear of what Wriothesley would do to the suspect. Still, watching from behind the glass was frustrating, he wished Neuvilette would let them do interrogations in Meropide, where it was outside Fontaine’s jurisdiction, so they could use other means to get information.

“This is going nowhere,” Wriothesley mumbled and pushed open the door leading into the interrogation room. Fuck the consequences, he’ll probably just get an earful from Neuvilette later.

At the sight of Wriothesley, Dougier’s eyes lit up in a nasty way that the Duke did not like at all. “Ah your Grace, here to play the bad cop now?”

“Seeing how you’re going nowhere with Neuvilette, I might as well do.”

Wriothesley grabbed the chair at the corner of the room and dragged it over to sit beside Neuvilette, who was glancing at Wriothesley cautiously.

“So do you feel like talking now Dougier? I thought you were a changed man after you were released.”

Dougier only scoffed, “then I had you fooled. You have no idea what kind of grudge I hold against you, Wriothesley. You ruined the community I built in Meropide.”

“Community? You call that community? You basically started a cult, and no one liked being in there.” Wriothesley scowled.

“Nevertheless,” Dougier continued, “I had my revenge. You should have heard how much (y/n) screamed when Arderne injected her vision into her.”

Wriothesley froze. He knew about what happened but hearing it from Dougier was different from reading it on the files they found.

Dougier, seeing the change in Wriothesley’s demeanour, continued. “She was a brave one, that bitch. Endured hours upon hours of our treatment, sometimes without anaesthesia. And that was after we put her in solitary confinement. We were wrong thinking we broke her spirit already, and yet she’s still fighting.”

"And you did this to all the people in the Vision Trials?" Neuvilette asked, the pen in his hand moving to take notes.

Dougier ignored him, his eyes still glued on Wriothesley's.

"How can we reverse the vision injections?" Wriothesley asked, trying to keep his breathing steady. He knew he couldn't try anything with Neuvilette around.

"You'll have to ask Arderne for that," Dougier leaned back on his chair, "but all I know is while (y/n) is still alive, she's a failure. She had her vision inside her yet it never seemed to work, not even when we prompted her."

"What do you mean prompted her?" Neuvilette asked, and this time, Dougier turned his eyes to him..

"Oh we threatened her, and when it didn't work, beat her, did whatever to make her call on her pyro element and use the vision in her. That never seemed to work."

Wriothesley and Neuvilette were tense, the former had his fists clenched so hard.

"That was when I took her to the basement, the cold weather should prompt the vision to at least keep her warm." Dougier turned to Wriothesley, a deranged look danced in his eyes as he smiled at him.

"I can see why you like 1102. She was so brave. She never once begged or called out for you even with all the beatings, that is, until I put my cock inside her-”

Suddenly Dougier was on the ground. Wriothesley had moved so fast Neuvilette barely registered him vaulting over the table and landing a fist on Dougier's face. He managed to hammer down his fists onto Dougier some more before he felt multiple hands pull him backwards off Dougier, who was unconscious in a bloodied mess.

"GET OFF ME." He yelled at the gardemeks who held him back, but Neuvilette soon stepped in front of him, blocking his view of Dougier who was being tended to by medics.

"Wriothesley," his voice was stern, "the punching can wait until after his sentence. If he is sentenced back to Meropide then it is under your jurisdiction."

Wriothesley was breathing heavily, "he… he also… Archons, (y/n)..."

"I already let you land several hits on him" Neuvilette placed a hand on his shoulder, "but we need him alive for more information on the case, and for his trials."

Wriothesley watched, seething with rage as Dougier was taken away by the medics for further treatment. He wanted the scum to suffer as much as, if not more than (y/n). How could anyone do this to her?

Neuvilette sighed and motioned for the gardemeks to release Wriothesley, "I think it's best if you go visit (y/n) for now. I think you two need to talk."

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(;;;*_*)--c<ノ°益°)ノ _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_

A/N

…now I'm sad... why do I do this to myself :") wrote this while hugging my blåhaj because I needed that warm shorky embrace.

(Tuna says hi :D and hopes everyone is okay after reading this)

I apologize for the late update, some parts of the chapter had to be rewritten to make more sense, but in the end it became longer than I planned (and I had to cut it here and continue next chapter)

Thanks for sticking around this long, I hope the update hurt you all as much as it did for me to write :"))) please stay safe and take care, and hug your pets/plushies for me 💕

P.s. I’m not sure how to write a proper experiment clearance form TwT I hope that wasn’t too off.

Taglist: @almosteggs @quuela @tempest1art @yamanaka13-blog @arseneumbra @kimmeaahh @cottonfluffs @randomidk-123 @applejayee @keigo-hawks-takami-simp @mechanicalbeat1 @aribae14 @bforbiblio @supernerdycookietrashblrr @furblrwurblr @chifuyus-kitty @bunnibabe @the-real-fandom-person

[lotusflowerbreakingthesurface]

❝Zhang Qiling's Birthday Congratulations❞

𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓫𝓲𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓭𝓪𝔂, 𝓧𝓲𝓪𝓸𝓰𝓮! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝⋆✧˚

On this special month, let's get to know 'the soul character' of Daomu Biji, the one who always gives Wu Xie a sense of security, Zhang Qiling aka Men You Ping aka Xiaoge in a deeper understanding. Who doesn't know him? He is one of the protagonists and the spiritual leader of the Iron Triangle!

©Divider by @saradika-graphics

Source: NPSS's WeChat or here

Since Daomu Biji is in Wu Xie's first person POV, it's difficult to know what Xiaoge is thinking and what kind of character Xiaoge is. Let's get to know him bit by bit through some info that I found in Chinese fandom and my meta hehe. Please note that I'm not fluent in Chinese, so this post contains a heavy amount of MTL, and people tend to have a different perception and understanding of things, so just take it easy, okay? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

First of all, let's take a look at the character "Zhang Qiling" according to Chinese sites and other sites as well.

Source: Baidu [I only took some parts of it, for more info about Zhang Qiling, please visit the site]

The author Nanpai Sanshu mentioned in an interview that Xiaoge is the kindest, wisest, mysterious and powerful character in the whole book. In addition, in the original text of DaoBi (Daomu Biji), Xiaoge has maintained a young appearance for decades. The author calls him "the complete body of immortality", so he will not suffer from the sequelae of immortality such as "corpse transformation", which can be said to be a perfect immortal.

❆ 𝑨𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 ❆

He has a pair of calm (indifferent) and clear eyes—Daomu Biji Vol. 2: Heavenly Palace on the Clouds (Part 1) Ch. 48 (MereBear's Translation), Wu Xie's Private Notes Ch. 9 (MereBear's Translation)

Reference: A photo of a young man appeared on the slide. He was silent, calm, and his eyes were as clear as clear water. He was carrying something on his back and walking normally. His eyes were looking in the direction of the camera. He obviously saw the person taking the photo, but he didn't care at all.—Sand Sea 3 Ch. 28 | Ch. 139 (MereBear's Translation)

Good-looking

Reference: "Why don't we just find a wife for him and marry him off to a rich woman? With his looks, I think we can make some money."—Daomu Biji Vol. 6: Ancient Building Under the Dark Mountain Ch. 1 (MereBear's Translation)

Well-proportioned, handsome, and eye-catching (wearing a suit)

Reference: Men You Ping has a well-proportioned figure and a blank expression. He looks very handsome in a suit and is extremely eye-catching."—Daomu Biji Vol. 7: Stone Shadow in Qiong Cave Ch. 5 (MereBear's Translation)

His face is quite distinctive

Reference: Xiaoge's face is actually quite distinctive. He is not someone who would be lost in the crowd.—Tibetan Sea Flower 1 Ch. 21 (MereBear's Translation)

Wu Xie is the ultimate beauty that can be seen in the world, and Zhang Qiling is invisible to the world——too corny (NPSS's interview) [I think what it means by "invisible to the world" refers to the inner beauty, his kindness perhaps? But this kind of answer should be a joke lol]

He is 180cm tall, fair-skinned, silent, with dark hair and dark pupils, his eyes half covered by his hair (NPSS's interview)

❆ 𝑩𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝑻𝒚𝒑𝒆 ❆

He has a lot of muscle mass

Reference: Xiaoge's weight is actually moderate, and he has a lot of muscle mass. So even though he looks lean and well-proportioned, his actual weight feels much heavier than the last time I helped him.—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale Ch. 56 (MereBear's Translation)

He has a high muscle fiber density

Reference:

Liang Wan was able to touch patient Zhang’s arm while giving him a routine examination. Although his muscles weren’t very exaggerated, the density of the fibers was beyond comprehension.—Sand Sea 1: Introduction Part 2 (MereBear's Translation)

He [the doctor] then proceeded to squeeze Men You Ping's muscles, "Your muscle fiber density is even better than that of athletes. What kind of exercises do you do?"—Notes in Rain Village 2 Ch. 20 (MereBear's Translation)

❆ 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 ❆

Silent, indifferent, alienated, and easily misunderstood

Reference: If you are not in the same group as Men You Ping, you will feel very uncomfortable with him, and you will feel more and more uncomfortable. People who know him know that he is just taking a nap when he leans there, but people who don't know him think that this gloomy guy is full of bad intentions and ready to torture them.—Sand Sea 4 Ch. 208 (MereBear's Translation)

Strong action, perseverance, and fearlessness

Reference: He is a man who keeps moving forward for his purpose. Even if there are countless barbs on the road he walks on, he will keep moving forward, regardless of any harm along the way, until all his flesh is scraped off by the barbs or he reaches his destination alive.—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale Ch. 75 (MereBear's Translation)

Spiritual leader and give a sense of security

Reference: He often has a blank expression on his face, but once his expression changes, it usually means he is about to face a critical situation. In the ancient tomb, he acts as the spiritual leader of the team, and his companions obey his instructions, always giving those around him a sense of security.—Daomu Biji Vol. 1 (Part 2): Angry Sea, Hidden Sands

Strong heart and the king of fighting

Reference: Ma Pingchuan thought it very strange that he was having a serious conversation with a teenager, and he even felt overwhelmed by the child's aura.—Tibetan Sea Flower 1 Ch. 3 (MereBear's Translation)

Act cautiously and carefully, clear the way and lead the way

Reference: He leaped in front of the mummy without hesitation, and looked at his mouth first. Finding that there was nothing in his mouth, he put his hands under the corpse's armpits and pressed it down.—Daomu Biji 1 (Part 2): Angry Sea, Hidden Sands Ch. 62 (MereBear's Translation)

Mysterious and unique

Reference: There had to be something strange about those seven bridges-if you got on the wrong one, you'd likely encounter a disaster. In order to avoid this trouble, Poker-Face chose another way-it really was his style to never follow the path others had arranged.—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale Ch. 59 (Merebear's Translation)

Calm and resilient

Reference: I remained silent. I didn't know what kind of person Menyouping was, but I could vouch for his psychological endurance. This kind of person's psychological quality has reached a certain level. It is very difficult to make him receive a great stimulus.—Daomu Biji Vol. 5: Snake Marsh Ghost City Ch. 60 (MereBear's Translation)

Selflessness, a strong sense of responsibility, saving people in distress, and silently dedicate to protect others

Reference: Men You Ping shook his head, "Your level of awareness is too low. If our theory is correct, then whatever happened is extremely dangerous. I am afraid you won’t be able to handle it. I'll keep watching all night, you should have a good rest."—Daomu Biji Vol. 5: Snake Marsh Ghost City Ch. 20 (MereBear's Translation)

Repay evil with kindness and respect life

Reference: An old man had died during our stay in the village, and Mem You Ping had also shown him a kind of attentiveness before he had died. When the old man fell asleep in the sun, Men You Ping would often stop and take a look at him.—Daomu Biji Extra: Fishing King Ch. 26 (Merebear's Translation)

[Note: I can only put one excerpt from the book as a supplement, but there are definitely many words worth your attention in the book :)]

❆ 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑶𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒏/𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆 ❆

If we talk about Zhang Qiling's prototype, we should go back to the first draft of Daomu Biji that NPSS posted on QQ Space under the title 《阴间笔记•七星皇陵篇》 "Notes from the Underworld: The Seven-Star Imperial Tomb" and its outline setting (see here for details). Later, he posted the fanfiction of Ghost Blows Out the Light on its Post Bar under the title 《七星鲁王宫》 "Seven Stars Lu Palace" (the original post is gone now, but here is a little glimpse of it). As you may already know, Daomu Biji was started as a fanfiction of 《鬼吹灯》 "Ghost Blows Out the Light" by 天下霸唱 (Tianxia Bachang). People often regard it as the pioneer of the tomb-robbing novel due to its popularity back in its heyday and it has a huge influence on the same genre later on, Daomu Biji is no exception. In the Ghost Blows Out the Light, there are three major characters, Hu Bayi, Shirley Yang, and Wang Pangzi. Among those three characters, only Wang Pangzi shares the similarity to "Wang Pangzi" in Daomu Biji. Then, how about other characters? Is Zhang Qiling a gender-changed Shirley Yang?

According to this post by MuzzledIdealist, the answer is below:

Q: Is Zhang Qiling a gender-changed Shirley Yang?

A: I don’t know where the rumor that Zhang Qiling is a gender-changed Shirley Yang came from… His [NPSS's] first chapter was indeed a Ghost Blows Out the Light fanfiction serialized in the Ghost Blows Out the Light forum [Baidu Post Bar], but the first chapter was about the tomb-robbing in Changsha fifty years ago, and the names Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie did not appear at all. The protagonists of Xu Lei's [NPSS's] earliest writing plan were ZYN (370’s original name), "I" and "Sun Zhongwei" (see the character setting, it was later split into Pangzi, Pan Zi, and Wu Sanxing). The prototype of Zhang Qiling is 370. I never whitewash Xu Lei, although the initial story background borrowed from Ghost Blows Out the Light, Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie have always been original [characters].

In the fanfiction that was written by NPSS, there were no characters with the name "Zhang Qiling" and "Wu Xie". Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie have always been the original from DaoBi and it has nothing to do with Ghost Blows Out the Light. Even so, Zhang Qiling indeed has a real person prototype which appeared in that fanfiction, he is ZYN (I don't know if it's appropriate to put a real person's name here), he is a former classmate of NPSS.

[For more info, see 张起灵相关bot's post]

NPSS had a classmate and roommate in high school. His bed number was 370 (homonymous with Zhang Qiling), and later he was his deskmate. In [TEDxSISU Fever], Sanshu said that he was a rare person who could notice and understand him, and he was a very good friend. The author turned this "most important man" into the most important character in the novel, Zhang Qiling, and expressed his feelings for this close friend.

"Look at your current deskmate, that inconspicuous little boy back then, who has now spread the story of you and me to the whole world." ✦

ZYN who is the prototype of Zhang Qiling is a man, then how could Zhang Qiling set to be a female character? See the explanation below:

About Zhang Qiling who was supposed to be a woman disguised as a man was first mentioned in the lecture at Fudan University in 2013:

Source: 大头尸胎

However, there is a follow-up interview on March 11, 2023 which basically implied that it's actually not NPSS's idea to set him as the female lead and Zhang Qiling is a man from the beginning to the end.

Q: It has been rumored that Zhang Qiling was originally intended to be a female character? NPSS: This happened a long time ago. These were my thoughts when I was writing the first chapter, he was definitely intended to be a male character at the beginning. Many colleagues told me that he should be a female character and that I should write him as a female character. The seniors at that time were still quite traditional. The seniors in the magazines said that you need a female lead. I was wondering what to do. They said that you should just write Zhang Qiling as a female character. I hesitated at that time, but then I followed the whole process to write it. Because his prototype was my classmate, it was difficult to write him as a female character. It was hard to imagine. I also know very few female characters. In fact, I have been working hard to learn how to write a female character in recent years.

Source: Text | Video | Summary

I think NPSS has his own idea in his mind, when his senior colleague suggested adding a heroine and thought about making PingXie as an official pairing, he hesitated at first, but in the end, he did try it and even had the idea of disguising as the opposite gender (and perhaps to make it easier to write), but later he realized that Zhang Qiling can only exist as a man. He sticks to his words at this point, because I can tell that in the subsequent series, he used descriptions such as "has a lot of muscle mass", "almost inhuman speed", "incomparably strong", "weight feels much heavier", "has a high muscle fiber density", "carrying on one shoulder", "a body more perfect than an athlete", etc. Why do I feel like he works so hard to nullify the words "the body is soft as a woman's" in the earliest book? Does he feel guilty to his former classmate? ( ≖‿ ≖ )

The most interesting thing is that Zhang Qiling and his prototype share many similarities, such as being born in November, being a Scorpio, having a shoe size of 43, being 180 cm in height, and Uncle 370's (fans in Chinese fandom often called ZYN "370叔") wife's birthday is on March 5, which is also Wu Xie's birthday (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)

Source: MuzzledIdealist

❆ 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑫𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒑𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 ❆

This is only a simple meta of Xiaoge's character development before and after he meets Wu Xie and Pangzi, which is also purely my personal opinion and does not represent NPSS's opinion. First of all, since I think that Zhang Qiling's character development is deeply influenced and inseparable from Wu Xie's character development, I labeled this meta as a cp-oriented analysis just in case. Nevertheless, I tried my best not to see it with shipping goggles though we don't need it. It's short and may not be perfect, I only read the books from the main story to the period of Notes in Rain Village (and extra stories) once, and it was over half a year ago. If there are any mistakes, I apologize. And if it's okay with you, here you go~

⚠︎ Warning: Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers!

What is so unique about Zhang Qiling (and Wu Xie) is that every stage of their life shows a different temperament (though I won't talk about all of them here, it would be too long). Zhang Qiling has lived for a long time and experienced many things.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on August 31, 2024:

Q: Universe God, I want to ask you, when Xiaoge first saw Wu Xie being so friendly and kind to him, did he find it hard to believe that there are people in the world who simply cherish and love him without any ulterior motives?

A: Zhang Qiling can see through people's hearts at a glance. It's not that he is smart, but that he has seen too much. People are very simple to Zhang Qiling.

There is a change of heart before and after Xiaoge meets Wu Xie, as well as some behavioral changes when he gets out of the Bronze Door in ten years. It's difficult to see because we rarely have a glimpse of what Xiaoge is thinking through Wu Xie's perspective. However, it's not impossible to see as long as you pay attention carefully to his various actions. In ten years, his outer appearance may not change, but the core of his personality has changed to a certain extent, and he started to put value on many aspects of his life. In other words, he is no longer indifferent to some things. His world has gained a warm color.

Let's go back to his early days. In Three Days of Silence, there are three perspectives about Xiaoge. The first one is the perspective of the little lama's senior brothers, they said that he resembles a postman without destinations. Outsiders who don't know about Xiaoge think that Xiaoge lacks human nature, so he looks out of place in the human world. However, he is not without destinations. He knows clearly what he has to do because he had those so-called missions appear in his head before he had the chance to figure out who he was. The second is the little lama's perspective, he thought that Xiaoge is like Buddha who has no desire to think about worldly affairs. And the third is how the master denied that Xiaoge is like Buddha, people who are born without desires are stones.

Since the day he was born, Xiaoge's freedom has been taken away from him. This freedom was replaced with the Zhang family missions, making his life full of purpose, and yet it was not his own purpose. No one tells him to live his own life, and he doesn't even know how to do it, because from the very beginning he has been living this way.

In the subsequent narration, the master said that Xiaoge was like a stone, but Xiaoge eventually came to meet his mother. It was proof that he was not completely a stone, it was just that his desire as a human was hidden within himself. He needs a revelation to make him realize that it exists and that it's okay to feel it.

“You have to learn to think and miss that the first and last gift your mother gives you will be your heart that was hidden by those people.”

Even so, trusting and loving someone is not an easy task. The moment he understood what the master said, he lost his mother. It was the first time he could feel his connection with the world, but also the first time he lost it. He has a strong heart and resolve, so he was searching for this "connection" again, but the only thing he could find was all about the Zhang family's missions.

He continued, "I am a person without a past and a future. All I do is to find find my connection with this world. Where did I come from and why am I here?" He looked at his hands and said calmly, "Can you imagine that if someone like me disappears from this world, no one will find out, as if I have never existed in this world, without leaving any trace? Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I often doubt whether I really exist or am just a phantom of a person."—Daomu Biji Vol. 4: Snake Marsh Ghost City (Part II) Chapter 18 | Chapter 47 (MereBear's Translation)

In the process of searching, he had seen too much and gradually understood that what has meaning today may lose its meaning tomorrow.

Tencent Video Interview in September 2024

Q: Tibetan Sea Flower is actually a process of searching for him.

A: Searching for his past is also a process of him going from a god to a human being, and Sand Sea is a process of Wu Xie going from a human to a god, and they cross paths in the middle.

"Does meaning have any meaning?" Menyouping showed a rare concern for the word "meaning". He looked at the blazing bonfire and said, "The word meaning itself has no meaning."—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale (Part II) Chapter 17 | Chapter 78 (MereBear's Translation)

He once hoped, but he never dared to put so much expectation, until Wu Xie appeared.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on September 22, 2024

Q: Has Wu Xie ever taught Zhang Qiling anything?

A: There is a person called Wu Xie in the world, and this is the first time you have seen him in a hundred years.

Then, let's take a look at this series of statements by NPSS about Zhang Qiling.

NPSS wrote about Zhang Qiling at the end of vol. 8:

Men You Ping: This is a powerful man who is like a god or Buddha. I can always write with extra ease when he is around, because as long as he is by your side, he can protect you from all disasters and pains. He has no words, he is not happy, he is not sad, he always stands there like a [Chinese] porcelain doll, watching everything indifferently [my friend said "瓷娃娃" is a symbolic sculpture without the feeling of sorrow or joy], but you know he cares about you. No one can ever bring you so much sense of security like him. However, I don't know why, when I write about the various actions of this man, I always feel a deep sadness in my heart.

As he said, he is a person without past and future. His only connection with the world seems to have little value [it was before he claimed Wu Xie as his only connection with the world, at that time he was only searching for his memories and clues about himself which actually led to his responsibility as Zhang Qiling but not his true self]. He doesn't know where he came from or where he will go. He only knows that he has something he must do in this world. "Can you imagine? One day, when you wake up from a cave, you don't know anything and look around in confusion, you already have a responsibility that you must shoulder. You have no right to see the scenery along the way, you can't enjoy [to be with] friends and lovers, and all the beautiful things in your life have lost their meaning to you the moment you regain consciousness."

Zhang Qiling is carrying his own destiny in silence. What hurts me the most is that he just carried it nonchalantly, as if it was all natural, as if it was just an insignificant matter. If you ask him, he will just shake his head silently and tell you: "It doesn't matter". This is the man I wrote. He bears the most painful fate in the world, even a thousand times more painful than death, but he is not angry or sad, neither escaping nor suffering. He is right there, telling everyone he protects that it doesn't matter.

Zhang Qiling is physically and mentally strong, if not he wouldn't have survived all alone by himself in those years. However, being strong doesn't mean he has no weakness. He is not omnipotent nor a god. Having a weakness is a sign that he is human. He is observant and cautious, he is often caught off guard when received Tianshou (which can't be predicted) or when he loses too much blood (because his wound takes longer to heal than ordinary people). Most of the time, he feels indifferent to the pain. He endures it well, but he is not immune to it, he still feels hurt.

Snake Ancestor ignored him. After he was done, he said to Men You Ping: "Your hand will hurt so much that you can't move it for three days. It will be like stone, but you won't die."

Men You Ping raised his bitten hand and took a deep breath. He saw that the blood vessels near the wound were bulging, and his stiff fingers began to move instantly.

"Can you still move? Impossible?" Snake Ancestor was surprised. "Don't you feel pain?"

"It does hurt." Menyouping shook his hands and switched the knife to his other hand. With a loud snap, the young master was knocked over and fell on his back. The entire floor arched up, and a huge claw-like insect flipped up from under the floor, and the floor fragments were scattered everywhere.—Daomu Biji Extra: Fantasy Ch. 20 | Ch. 2.24 (MereBear's Translation)

Then, he meets Wu Xie.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on August 31, 2024:

Q: What was Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie's first impression of each other?

A: Wu: Wow, what a cocky guy. Zhang: It seems like there is an amateur in the team.

Facebook Interview on September 18, 2014:

Q: I want to know why Xiaoge takes such good care of Tianzhen throughout the whole story, because his care for Tianzhen has gone beyond the scope of friends and colleagues (personal opinion).

A: When you see people around you being as weak as tofu*, you will also think of giving them some protection so that you don't have to do the laundry [something like 'avoid unnecessary trouble'].

*���腐 "tofu": I'm not sure if international fans know about tofu, there are many variations of tofu, but the texture of tofu is usually very soft and easily broken if you don't handle it properly.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on August 31, 2024:

Q: When did Zhang Qiling start to feel that Wu Xie was special?

A: When Wu Xie performed impossible and inhumane miracles time and time again.

Douyin Live on 16 September, 2024:

Q: There is a line in the book "Tibetan Sea Flower" that says that Xiaoge lost his connection with the world. Do you think it was a certain turning point that made Xiaoge feel that he had some connection with the world again? Or was it not a certain moment, but the accumulation of various friendships and experiences?

A: I can give you an example. You know that there are people who can establish a connection with you, and you know that there are people who can work hard to connect you with the world. Maybe he himself is the anchor point of that connection, but you also know that this person will not always be there. Zhang Qiling knows very well that it is impossible for someone to always do this, because his destiny is to be disconnected from the world, and his entire life is to be constantly disconnected. So he knew that in his long life, there might be many people willing to do this, but who would be willing to do this all the time? Zhang Qiling had no hope for this, because he had experienced many separations and seen many such situations.

So when the Iron Triangle was formed, Zhang Qiling initially thought that this might just be a short journey, a short connection. He knew that maybe it could be done. Ordinary people can always become god-like in a short period of time. Ordinary people have this light, but if you can become god-like for a lifetime, Zhang Qiling has never thought about it, but the Iron Triangle is moving towards this possibility. They will become a lifelong connection. For Wu Xie and Pangzi, they have burned up all their time.

This is a more real connection than anyone Zhang Qiling can remember.

Tencent Video Open Day Live on 9 September, 2024:

Q: It is known that Wu Xie is a magnificient scholar of Zhang Studies, but what about Zhang Qiling? How much does he know about Wu Xie? Who knows him better, him or Wu Xie?

A: I think Wu Xie is a very simple person. Wu Xie's resume is written on one A4 page. So I think Zhang Qiling knows more about Wu Xie. Moreover, Zhang Qiling has seen so many people. He may have only one question about Wu Xie, that is, among so many people, what is the difference between Wu Xie and others. Wu Xie in his long life, he would think that Wu Xie is somewhat different. What is the difference?Right, because Wu Xie wiped out the Zhang family (slip of the tongue, it should be the Wang family) by himself.

Nanjing Live Broadcast on August 16, 2023:

Q: What is the relationship between the Iron Triangle from Zhang Qiling’s perspective?

A: I think he has to go through several stages. At the beginning, he will think of two mortals, two ordinary people, and then try his best to protect them. Then slowly he discovered that these two people also had a slightly different aura. And in many cases, it is said that the behaviors and states of these people are beyond the energy range of ordinary people. For example, he may encounter very persistent people many times in his life. But those who are persistent may not be able to hold on for a year or two. In other words, his harsh life is something that others cannot keep up with. But he met someone like Wu Xie who always persistent and became stronger and stronger, constantly upgrading himself. This person is very special. He may be different from others. In such a long world, people like this are rare. This person is very special. He may be different from others. In such a long world, such people are rare. Then there is Wang Pangzi. How can this person do it? The way they do it is different. Wu Xie relies on persistence, and Pangzi relies on being heartless and shameless. So it feels that in the past, all the companions around you may disappear after walking and walking, but these two people not only did not disappear, but their presence became stronger and stronger. In the end, I feel that I will get used to it slowly.

Taobao Live Broadcast on October 30, 2022:

Q: After Zhang Qiling met Wu Xie and others from the beginning and experienced so much together now, will there be any changes in his mentality?

A: I think his world will become a warm color. His previous world was not a cold color, but a neutral color. It made no difference to him whether he had it or not. There was no concept of ownership in his life, whether I was owned by you or I owned something myself. When the world has warm tones, (although) he is essentially a person who has no meaning to him for any possession, the only thing he can have is that color. There may still be various problems with his memory in the future, but that touch of warmth will eventually belong to him, and the color of that world and that period of time cannot be washed or erased. What I mean is that even Tianshou can't erase that kind of temperature. I think this is the most core change in his mentality.

Live broadcast on June 11, 2021:

NPSS: For Zhang Qiling, Wu Xie is his only connection with the human world. He can have no connection with the human world. After so many years, Wu Xie is the opportunity for him to be willing to connect with the human world. This is also something that requires courage for him, because connecting with Wu Xie means connecting with other people. At the beginning, Wu Xie was just one of the many people he had saved, but Wu Xie reached a state of transcendence through his own qualities. He can attract another person who is not a mortal. There is such a person. When you look at him, you will have this feeling-

Host: This is that person, this is the person I am looking for.

NPSS: Yes.

It only takes less than two years to change Zhang Qiling's opinion about Wu Xie, from 'one of the people he had saved' to 'his only connection with this world'. Two years are just a small number in Xiaoge's long life, but the days when they got along together in life-and-death situations are much more meaningful than what he ever imagined. Knowing him little by little, Xiaoge feels that Wu Xie is different, a rare soul. Wu Xie cares about him without any hidden intentions. He is sincere and persistent, proving himself that he has exceeded Xiaoge's presumptions of human beings, again and again.

"Human beings are much scarier than ghosts, and it is hard to understand people's hearts," said Men You Ping, "Living people are worse than ghosts." After saying that, he glanced at Laba's hidden knife.—Tibetan Sea Flower 1 Ch. 12

Later, NPSS explained about Zhang Qiling's farewell in Hangzhou (see more here or here):

"He came to find Wu Xie, which was the biggest emotion in his life for so many years."

Xiaoge is not without emotions. For Zhang Qiling who has seen too much and experienced all sorts of things, it's not easy to cause a spark in his heart. He has his own way of dealing with his own emotions and expressing his feelings. As an analogy, his emotional state is like an ocean; vast, calm, and deep. A small ripple won't have any effect on him, and the waves were just small frictions on the surface. Despite this, that day when he came to Hangzhou to say goodbye to Wu Xie, he felt the greatest emotions after so many years of emotional numbness.

"I came to say goodbye to you." He said, "It's all over. I thought about my connection with this world, and it seems that the only one I can find now is you."—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale (Part II) Ch. 25 | Ch. 76 (MereBear's Translation)

It was stated in Tibetan Sea Flower that Xiaoge also came to Pangzi and entrusted him with three things, which are related to Wu Xie's presumably future actions.

"The first thing is that you found his statue." Pangzi said, "This proves that you found the place where he began to lose connection with this world. This statue was made for him by the best craftsman in the temple at that time. It is his only projection in this world."—Tibetan Sea Flower 2 Ch. 19 | Ch. 84 (MereBear's Translation)

Each encounter has its own purpose. Pangzi didn't chase after Xiaoge, because he understood that if Xiaoge choose not to tell him everything, then so be it, and no one can stop him once he made a decision. On the other hand, Wu Xie has an intrigued temper which is different from Pangzi. If Xiaoge deliberately didn't tell him anything, Wu Xie could just go find it out by himself.

Xiaoge is someone who solves the problem right on the spot the moment he figures it out, and he will not do something unnecessary.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on 6 September, 2024:

Q: How would Wu Xie or Xiaoge overcome difficulties when they encounter them, or what is their psychology?

A: Xiaoge overcomes the difficulties on the spot, while Wu Xie overcomes the difficulties secretly.

He came to Wu Xie, even though it had nothing to do with his mission. He could just go straight away to Changbai mountains, but he didn't. What did he expect after saying those words? He was aware of Wu Xie's temper, yet he still went to find him and said something that even Wu Xie might not know what it meant at that time; because he wanted him to know.

He had lost his connection with this world once, and he was going to experience it again. There was no need to carve his emotions on a stone, he now understood it very well; to think and miss; to have his own desire. He wanted Wu Xie to know how important he was to him. He is always selfless, but this time he found again his long-lost desire, a selfish desire.

"It's all over. I thought about my connection with this world, and it seems that the only one I can find now is you."

Those words are not just ordinary "romantic" or "insignificant" words. They can't be understood with a superficial approach, but only after reading Tibetan Sea Flower and Three Days of Silence or Zhang Qiling's story that the meaning can be conveyed properly. They carry so much meaning that speaks volumes of what Xiaoge was thinking at that time. It was the first time after he lost his mother, Baima, that he had his own "desire" again.

“Wu Xie is the opportunity for him to be willing to connect with the human world. This is also something that requires courage for him, because connecting with Wu Xie means connecting with other people.”

In other words, Wu Xie is like a "bridge" that connects Zhang Qiling's world to the human world, and leads to another lifelong companionship like Pangzi. Even to this day, a genuine and sincere relationship without any malice is rare to be found in this world. Wu Xie is an important part of Xiaoge's existence, and recognizing this strong bond won't make Zhang Qiling lose himself. On the contrary, Wu Xie helped him to find his pieces of life and finally do something he truly wants. It's not a one-sided feeling, Xiaoge sacrificed himself for Wu Xie, and it was not out of obligation or courtesy. And it was also the case with Wu Xie defeated the Wang family. Their feelings for each other have always been unconditional, they don't ask anything in return, and what they have done only shows how far they can go for the other.

Xiaoge: “I will give you my whole life in exchange for your ten years of innocence.”

Wu Xie: “I will use my ten years in exchange for your stability and peace of mind for the rest of your life”

There is so much happening after this period that it is worth talking about, but it's getting too long. Perhaps I will continue it, but I cannot guarantee anything (∩˃ω˂∩)

Thank you for reading! ^^

Source: Original picture by 刘巴布

[yushiteru]

yushi balance game (about his preferences in a relationship)

a/n: this was posted on twitter by a korean fan who asked yushi these questions during a fansign so i thought i could translate them bc dkfhgdfg yushi pls i can only handle so much sources: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven

to lead vs. to be led

-> to lead

an exciting/fluttering relationship vs. a friend-like relationship

-> exciting relationship

i only see you vs. only look at me

-> i only see you

say "i love you" everyday vs. kiss everyday

-> kiss everyday

a clumsy/inexperienced person (in a relationship) vs. a skilled/experienced person [t/n: i don't know if this is implying what kind of lover yushi wants to be or wants in a lover, but either way hjdfgkj]

flirt/have flings/date around with 1 person (at a time) vs. date around with multiple people

-> 1 person

if we break up, that's the end vs. we can meet again

-> meet... but doesn't really know

when yushi likes someone, he expresses it vs. he hides it

-> expresses it

yushi has a lot of jealousy vs. doesn't have any jealousy

-> has a lot [t/n: bruh]

yushi likes outdoor dates vs. indoor/at home dates

-> outdoor dates

obsessiveness [from partner] is okay vs. i don't like obsessiveness

-> doesn't like it

morning kiss vs. goodnight kiss

-> goodnight kiss

i like [when the other] plays hard to get vs. i don't like playing hard to get

-> its fine/not bad

when we fight: resolve it right away vs. after hours

-> resolve right away

nickname/petname: jagiya (baby, sweetie) vs. yeobo (hubby/my husband, wifey/my wife, honey)

-> jagiya [t/n: this is kinda funny because yeobo is mainly used by older married couples so his answer is pretty... predictable. but a little korean lesson: '여보' is derived from the words '여자' (yeoja) meaning 'woman' and '보' (bo) meaning 'husband'. it is a more formal and traditional term, often used by older couples or in more conservative settings. '자기야', on the other hand, is a more casual and affectionate term used by couples of all ages, but more commonly by young couples. it is derived from the word '자기' (jagi) which means 'self' or 'myself'. it is a term that expresses intimacy and closeness between partners.]

holding hands vs. cheek kiss

-> holding hands

contacting a lot vs. moderately

-> moderately

you're mine vs. i'm yours

-> i'm yours [this is where i died]

(these next few are about his ideal type) innocent vs. cutie vs. sexy

-> cutie

aegyo vs. 시크도도

-> 시크도도 [t/n: i'm not familiar with this term, but from what i can gleam, i think it means something along the lines of chic and sassy, but can also mean snobby/bratty in other contexts. i think overall the questions asks if he prefers someone who acts cute or someone who can be playful and banter with him, but correct me if i'm wrong.]

tattoo(s) vs. no tattoo(s)

-> no tattoo(s)

[a/n: these were not from the same event, but i found them on op's page and i wanted to include them hehe]

Q. what can someone say to him that will give him confidence that they will like yushi for a long time

-> "let's love forever"

Q. if i were your girlfriend, what would you want me to say to you?

-> "i like you because you make my heart flutter"

Q. what would yushi want to tell me if he had a crush on me?

-> "that i love youuu~~~~"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not letting someone stream a movie in a server?

So I (27M) moderate a server for fans of a video game who wanna RP together. It's not small but I'd call it cozy, and there are several mods and it's understood things have to stay like... Pg-13/T. We don't mind if you say fuck but we're also in a fandom that appeals to minors.

There are minors in the server. Minors are welcome to join the server.

This is simply context for what follows.

A member (32F) joins the server, and broke a rule here or there, and I am the mod that was most active so I was the one that usually corrected her. It was nothing personal, she just broke minor rules and needed to be corrected, or asked for something the mod team disagreed with, and I answered the question.

One day, this member comes in and announces she will be streaming a movie in the server soon for anyone that wants to join. Specifically she's going to stream Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.

So, on one hand, this might be our bad. We didn't really have streaming rules? Because no one really streamed. Ever. Server's years old and it's only ever been a few art streams.

So the mods quickly huddle up and make up rules about what we do and don't allow to be streamed, and all agree that streaming R rated movies in a server with kids under 18 is a bad idea.

I let her know we have to ask she doesn't stream this movie in here, and announce to the server our new streaming rules. (Which are "no streaming games above T, no movies about PG-13. If you think it's fine anyway, please ask us for permission first instead. If you want to watch something someone is streaming but might be triggered, please ask either the person streaming or consult 'Does the Dog Die'")

She immediately write a several paragraph response informing me that I'm the reason they're leaving the server, that she's tried to extend the olive branch to me several times but every time I've been condescending and rude. But she was having a bad day and wanted to stream this beautiful movie and share it with people but because of me she can't so she's leaving.

I legitimately don't know what events she's even talking about? I try to sound professional, which I guess could make me sound aloof but I also run all my responses past the other mods??? Who all okayed them? None of this happened in DMs, it's not like I could've been hiding it from them or gone rogue to do this, the other mods were aware of any rebukes given to this person, and I honestly don't know what olive branches she thinks she offered. Unless she means that time she asked us if she could be made a mod?

I'm just baffled, and a bit worried because I try to be fair to all members in the group and honestly, we just didn't want a movie with like, rather explicit stuff shown in our server? Where minors might see it? But I guess I really hurt her feelings and made her feel like she had to leave, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[discopaddock]

MUSHROOMING - CARLOS SAINZ JR.

PAIRING: carlos sainz jr. x fem!reader

WORDS: 432

GENRE: fluff

NOTE: i need to go mushrooming as soon as autumn comes 🥱🍂 english isn't my first language, so im sorry for any mistakes

WARNINGS: carlos is a little bit upset but only once, toadstools

Y/N and Carlos stood at the entrance of the forest with wicker baskets and little knives in their hands.

“You sure this is legal, cariño?” he asked, looking at his girlfriend unconvinced.

“Of course! But there are some mushrooms that you'll eat only once in your life�� she joked and started going into the forest.

“What do you mean “only once in your life”?” Carlos chased her, because he didn't start walking in the same moment as she didn't because of her joke, which had made him mindless.

“I mean that some mushrooms are poisonous” she sighed and rolled her eyes. Sometimes she really could see how her beloved Spaniard was a privileged boy from a wealthy family and she was only a village girl from a family of moderate means.

“THEY ARE POISONOUS?!” he shouted and Y/N only hit his head.

“You can't scream in the forest, a lot of animals live here” she scolded him for his scream and he only took a deep breath to calm down.

Y/N grabbed his hand and squeezed it a little with a grin on her face. “Come on, Carlitos” she said and led him through the forest.

“You're completely sure this isn't dangerous?” Carlos questioned for the last time, watching his girlfriend picking a bolete.

“No baby, you were eating one of these yesterday and yet, you're still alive” she answered and put the mushroom in her basket.

Her boyfriend squatted next to her and picked a mushroom, which looked exactly like the one his girl had just picked.

In the next hour they had their baskets almost filled and then Y/N saw what was in the one which belonged to Carlos.

“Love, um, do you know, what is this?” she asked, holding a mushroom with red hat in with white dots in her hand.

“A mushroom” he answered quickly and picked the same one.

“Carlitos, these are toadstools” she announced and the Spaniard catapulted it into the grass.

“I'm so sorry, cariño” he said and started taking out the toadstools of his basket.

“It's okay, Carlitos” Y/N said and kissed him shortly.

“But look what I had picked! I'm so terrible at mushrooming” Carlos grumbled and next he groaned.

“But you're excellent at racing and golf! It's normal that you aren't good at everything you do. Mushrooming is my thing tho” she laughed a little and kissed him once again. “I love you Carlitos, no matter if you're good at mushrooming or you're not”.

“I love you too, cariño” Carlos said and put his lips in hers.

masterlist

[firefeelsfine]

HELLO pretty people!!!🌸 <3

The intro post is finally here...🫴🏻✨

ABOUT ME :- she/her | 8teen | Pisces | ENFJ -A | Girl's girl | certified panick mechine | super random | desi | hopeless romantic.🌼

Wanna know more about me, here you go:-

🌸 yepp, so my name is KEHKESHA which means Galaxy & The name originates from Persian language.

( I am truly in love with my name, so please try not to mess it up while interacting. )

🌸I am a die heart fan of SRK and RK.

( it's okay if you don't like them or the way they act...I respect your views nevertheless.)

🌸what do I mostly post?

Random shit, that's right. Relatable kinda shit , random funny looking pictures , memes and rants. In short everything that would show a sense of carelessness towards life and people. Because let's be honest , we all are struggling with stuff one way or another. So ig it's better to deal with that shit by making it somewhat random.

But but but, at times I may tap into my devdas zone, and post or reblog something kinda sad. ( Not negative or something devestating, just simply sad) Something that may or may not touch that hidden empty void in your heart.

🌸 there is nothing in this world that will ever come close to how much i love tulips 🌷🌷🌷

🌸I am not religious but very spritual.

🌸I respect every religion with all my heart. I am obsessed with Indian myths and history. I would really appreciate hearing anyone speaking of there culture, the traditions they follow, the facts and the myths, all of it together and everything in between as well. Feel free to reach out to me for the same.

🌸my favourite colour changes with my mood, today it's rose gold.

🌸I am seriously very chaotic. If my chaos makes sense to you, we're meant to vibe together.

🌸my favourite vibe:- midnight thoughts with Lo-fi Beats.

🌸 I have bunch of interest, here goes the list:-

• imtiyaz ali movies ( my go to )

• F.R.I.E.N.D.S ( nothing compares to that common! )

• music:- jagjit singh, Mukesh, kishore kumar songs are a bliss to me. Shreya Ghoshal, Mohit Chauhan, Arjit Singh top my playlist every now and then. The weekend, JVKE , arctic monkeys, Chris brown make my playlist near to perfect.

But but but...LANA DEL RAY & ISABEL LAROSA make me tap into my siren self way too quick.

• I am diagnosed with moderate anxiety and an undiagnosed mild ADHD awaits me.

•THE SCARLET WITCH from the MCU is my comfort character. ( It's weird ik)

• I like every existing shade of maroon.

🌸 relationship status :- in love- hate relationship with my life.

🌸I am in love with the idea of being in love.💌

🌸I get lost in my books every now & then ( I won't be posting anything about what I read , in this blog, because I cannot tolerate listening to anyone having an opinion on why they don't like a character that I may be obsessed with at that very point of time. I will get defensive and that won't end good . I know me)

🌸 recommendation for kdramas, songs , movies and tv shows of any kind are appreciated.

( need an recommendation from my end ? Do try watching • It's Okay to Not Be Okay • 2020 ‧• Romance • kdrama )

• I really cherish this drama because I feel it is very me coded. Don't forget to tell me your views on it if you do watch it.

🌷🌷🌷 I am obsessed with my govind, my protector, my bestie and my supreme support 🌷🌷🌷

NAGAR NANDJI NA LAAL...💌💌💌

Also, my two alltime favourite songs ( hindi)

My alltime favourites ( english)

If you're a creep who just wants to disturb people's mental peace first of all get a life, And second of all try not to try your dirty tricks on me. I am not a girl who will ignore or block you. I very well know some people , who would not only trace you but will make sure to get your life as miserable as possible. MARK MY WORDS !!!

PS :- My brother's bachelor's degree in criminal justice works like magic at times.

🌸 other than this , I am a really friendly person, so feel free to reach out to me.

Tons of love to my stunning mutuals <3 🫴🏻✨I adore you guys so damn muchhhhhh 💌

[lemotmo]

Hulu comment. Let's all spiral with glee 😀

Q. We see you fan girling, Hulu! We see you!!

A. Haha, okay I received a ton of asks about this but I'm only going to post the one because you all get the gist of what the questions were like. Technically the Hulu account moderators, much like the 911 moderators, are employees of Disney, but usually moderators are given pretty free reign to post, comment, and 'like' as they please. As long as they're not being problematic or inappropriate. So I would caution that the comment doesn't necessarily mean anything. I will however say that the fact they felt comfortable enough to publicly comment on a video that is in direct contrast to the current canon probably doesn't bode well for said current canon. Because at minimum it's confirmation that there are no regulations in place for them to push the current canon. Which is probably not a good sign as far as anything long term goes. They would need to push it fairly hard to try and move the needle from an audience perspective so they would absolutely discourage Buddie encouragement. And that's clearly not a directive anyone has been given, so far anyway. We will probably get a clearer picture in the coming week or so. Embargos have to be close to being lifted, if they haven't already, which means we'll start to see more and more engagement from the media that covers the show.

I want to take a moment in this post to address several asks I received raging about how Buddie fans were the reason the show didn't release a full trailer. You all continue to prove you haven't been here longer than 80 something days. This is how the show always does things. They always start with a teaser. Last season was a hand on a ship rail, I believe. The season before that was the blimp. This has always been the way they do things. I know show history is irrelevant to you all but you should at least maybe Google something before jumping into blogs and raging.

Thank you so much Nonny!

Yep, I agree. Last season the show was heavily promoting Buddie. And it seems they have subtly began doing that again, while completely ignoring the canon relationship. But we do have to see if they will keep it up. I expect they will though.

This Hulu intern might just be a Buddie fan, but in the end they still commented using the Hulu account. They would have known it would be noticed and shared, but they still didn't delete it, which means that it was posted deliberately. They didn't just forgot to sign out of their professional account.

The comment talked about Buck deserving to be happy. Which basically implies that he isn't there yet right now. He still hasn't found his true happiness.

I realise that this is just a small thing and it might not mean anything, but to me it's definitely a subtle nod to signal that something has shifted.

And yeah, the promo always starts with a small teaser that has none of the characters. It has always been like this.

I do think that last year it was a hand on the round window of a ship, instead of on the railing. Do correct me if I'm wrong though. 😋

This has me excited though! I wonder what else they have in store for us this month. I'm looking forward to it! 😁

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[lyraeon]

A while back I learned something important from my therapist, and since I was trying to recount it anyway to share with a friend, I thought I would bring it to y'all as well.

We have all had at least one of those days where we've stayed up way too late doing something fun but we just don't want to stop doing it. Logically I figured that's just because "well yeah I don't want to stop, I have to go to sleep then to work and those suck compared to it."

Except then that starts happening often and you feel bad about always staying up every night, but then you feel worse and get more stressed because you know you're doing something you're "not supposed to", but because you're more stressed you want more fun time... endless cycle.

But as I was talking about it all and told her I thought I was self-sacrificing, the therapist had a very useful question for me:

"How do you normally know it's time to stop having fun? Like you know it's time to finish work because your shift's over, you know it's time to stop doing the dishes when they're all done or the washer's full, what is your signal to stop having fun?"

And I had to search for a while to answer.

"When the activity is done" - okay sure, but many games and books and series, or doing your own creative thing, "done" may take days upon days or even be non-existent.

"When I had to pass the controller" - obvious and easy one! If you knew you had a finite turn then the defined end is readily there, and you're also prepared for it! But requires pre-arranging the limits.

"When I got in trouble for it" - ding ding ding, we found the big problem.

When you grow up with "fun" being a forbidden activity you're only allowed to do after everything else is done to 100% perfection, then you learn to sneak it in where you can fit it. And you need that shit, seriously - you cannot get through life without some source of enjoyment, some tiny glimmer of joy among the tedium.

Many of us learned to read under the covers, or to play our gameboy in the bathroom and hide it under the sink, or that we could get away with running around the backyard for another 20 minutes if we just learned which intonation of "come inside" was the actual trouble line, or whatever other ways to cram in as much joy as we could before the hammer came down, for whatever severity that meant in your house.

And so that feeling of "I shouldn't be doing this, I'm going to get caught, but if I'm going to get in trouble anyway I might as well get as much out of this as I can" becomes part of what you expect to feel when you're having fun. And you only know how to stop having fun when you feel that way when you get in trouble for it - and in absence of anyone else controlling your behavior, that means the bad guy becomes either whatever task pops up to remind you responsibilities exist, or your significant other pointing out it's really late and they wish you'd come to bed, or your boss yelling at you for being tired all the time... or it becomes you.

If you don't learn that fun isn't a forbidden activity, if you stay stuck in the mindset that it's something you have to cram in in secret and hide that you're even doing? It becomes so so easy to hate the voice of reason in your head that's trying to encourage moderation and we're going to regret this tomorrow.

And that escalates. You keep being too tired the next day. You keep feeling even worse when you sit down to enjoy yourself the next night because now you're already tired, so stress gets to you faster, and now you feel guilty about how late you're staying up so you're not really enjoying playing your game or scrolling Tumblr or whatever anymore, you're just nervously glancing at the clock, "have I spent too long yet? How much longer can I do this before I get in trouble?"

Even though now you're in your 20s or 30s and it's been a decade since the last time anyone else told you it was bed time.

Learning that you're allowed to have fun isn't easy; guilt and shame are emotions that run very, very deep. And neither is learning to have a healthier relationship with saying "okay, that's enough for today".

For one, you have to stop threatening yourself. "Tomorrow is gonna suck" and "You're going to regret this" and "we're going to get in trouble at work" don't work. You already feel bad, you already know it's gonna suck, so why wouldn't you try to cram in one more hour now while it's not the day that's going to suck yet? Punishment is not incentive.

Because by now you're in a situation where sleep is a horrifying punishment that ends any fun, but you're not enjoying your fun anyway because you're tired all the time on top of feeling ashamed for doing something fun, and you're spending the entire time beating yourself up for being an idiot with no self control who can't even handle going to bed on time like a normal human being...

etc etc etc.

You will hear a lot of people give advice on how to get rid of the idea of having to "earn" sleep or fun or happiness by doing "enough" other things. To learn to accept that just being alive is enough reason to "deserve" to do those things. That will work for some people, but for others it just ends up one more thing to scold yourself about, especially when you're already in the habit not of denying yourself entirely but instead of doing it and feeling guilty the whole time.

But learning to set limits ahead of time, so that you're not anticipating some unknown time that a nebulous authority figure is going to finally have their horror monster timer run out and leap out at you but instead know when and what to expect? Holy shit it helped.

Don't get me wrong, it hella felt like depriving myself at first, like I was being grounded, and I looked at my phone beeping saying it was bedtime quite often and got annoyed.

But then I stopped treating fun as something that had to wait until the end of the day and everything else had to be done first. It is way easier to stare down sleep and go "I don't need you", especially if you have any kind of insomnia making the idea of being in bed a dreadful one on top of it. It is harder to say that about dinner, or calling a friend, or walking the dog. Plus then the day isn't over yet, so giving up on your fun isn't also accepting that as the defining moment of the end of your day!

So you have to start practicing looking for places to squeeze in a little more fun - "I've got an hour before dinner, that's perfect to make some tea and watch two episodes." "My favorite youtuber just put up a new video, why don't I take a break to watch it before I finish this homework?" "I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow anyway, and if I leave an hour early I could go kick around the bookstore first."

And once you do, fun starts to feel less shameful.

Don't get me wrong, if your issues run deep enough it still does sometimes. But when you get to have these moments of joy that you don't feel the need to hide or apologize for and where punishment isn't part of the routine, then fun stops feeling like something you have to dig your claws into for fear of having it taken away from you once someone catches you with it. And that means that finishing a level and glancing over at the clock is something you do because it actually managed to click a satisfaction switch in your head and you wondered if it was a good note to end on for now, instead of something you do with your breath held and the berating words already cycling in your mind.

I am not offering this advice expecting it to work for everyone or be easy or anything like that. I am someone with Depression, ADHD, and pretty severe PTSD sharing a technique that one therapist told me that really happened to click for and help me specifically, in case it might help someone else be a little nicer to themselves today, too.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 하이에나/Hyena.

Okay, I'm assuming I just convinced a lot of you by that poster alone. But just in case, here's a trailer along the same lines!

Hyena is a 2020 Korean drama about two lawyers who get into a relationship under false pretenses, end the relationship, and then still have to deal with one another in their professional lives, while also uncovering massive corruption in the halls of jurisprudence.

This is absolutely one of those shows where, if this is the kind of thing you like, this is a strong example of that kind of thing. You know the beats it's going to hit and the turns it's going to twist, so you're just here to watch the rest unfold. It's not really a courtroom drama; while there are court scenes, they're few and far-between. Most of it is about their lives outside of court: preparing for cases, negotiating power dynamics, and working for some shady-ass rich people alongside a cast of delightful supporting characters.

It's no great work of art, but it's a lot of fun, and it's surprisingly more complicated than it appears at first blush. It's also not a huge commitment, as shows go -- just your standard Korean block of sixteen hour-long episodes -- so here's a shortish set of five reasons I think you should give this a trial (get it? trial?) run.

1. Just fuck that pretty boy up

This show knows that women want one thing, and one thing only: Ju Jihoon in mild to moderate distress.

I love this tall drink of water in everything I've seen him in (just wait until the day I finish my rec for Kingdom!), and this is no exception. I imagine that the entire pitch for this show was, what if we put Ju Jihoon in sharp, well-tailored suits and have him menaced by a bunch of beautiful professional women 10-25 years older than he is? And the Netflix executives, in a startling moment of common sense, greenlit the heck out of that.

His character, Yoon Heejae, is a hotshot lawyer from a family of hotshot lawyers and judges who works for a hotshot law firm. He embodies that certain kind of cocky, toxic masculinity that makes you idly fantasize about getting his tie caught in the shredder so it strangles him. Over the course of the show, you get to see him taken down a peg time and again until he learns to be submissive to the right people, instead of to the wrong ones. And he's much, much happier that way! So yeah, if you enjoy seeing a beautiful man get that smug smile metaphorically and literally slapped right off his handsome mug, Hyena has you covered.

I had to replay the champagne scene like ten times, fuck. No, I'm not going to tell you what I mean by that. Watch the show!

2. The titular Hyena

The major disappointment I had with this show is that it did not bring up the one -- one! -- thing everybody knows about hyenas, which is that a lot of people think the females have penises. Because oh boy, Jung Geumja has the biggest dick in the show by a mile.

A lot of times when people say a female character is a disaster, they mean, tee hee, she spilled her coffee and accidentally said something she shouldn't have! Bitch, Jung Geumja said that shit on purpose.

She's an attorney who's willing to adopt some hella unethical tactics for her clients. She's got her goals, but good luck getting her to reveal what they are -- and good luck to her when it comes to achieving them, considering that she's a complete nobody who went to law school much later in life than all the other high-powered attorneys in the show did. That's okay, though! What she lacks in experience, she makes up for in balls-to-the-wall fearlessness.

I love how intentionally bad her aesthetic is. They give her awkward outfits and the worst possible haircut, to say nothing of her hideous cell phone necklace/lanyard/thing. She adopts a more professional demeanor partway through, but the second you let her off the respectability leash, the track suits and big clunky sneakers are back. The couple times she goes real femme, she looks like she's in bad drag. It's ugly-delicious.

Her actor, Kim Hyesoo, is a beautiful woman who looks very good in evening gowns and low-cut blouses. This show intentionally steers her hard in the other direction. It's a kind of protective coloration, Jung Geumja's way of telling all the other predators not to fuck with her, or she will fuck right back.

She's scrappy as hell, despite not actually being a physical fighter -- in fact, she gets the shit beat out of her a couple times. You don't get a whole lot of media where the female lead gets her face kicked in good and proper, or if you do, it's painted as a tragic, vulnerable moment. Jung Geumja slaps on a bandaid and gets right back out to the club the following night.

Her superpower is basically that she has no shame. You think ambulance-chasers are bad? She takes it to the next level.

You really don't see a lot of female characters like this! Sure, you get the Boss Bitch archetype in a lot of legal dramas, but she's always composed and dignified. Jung Geumja has no dignity. She's a sloppy bitch who makes pretty much no effort to leverage her feminine wiles in her day-to-day life (even though the show makes a point that there are men who'd be receptive to it if she did!). She's a nasty top who clearly loves to horrify dignified, presentable people with her yakuza lounge aesthetic.

You could maybe accuse Jung Geumja of being a Mary Sue, but she's, like, a middle-aged woman's Mary Sue. If your teen girl fantasies are all about how you're the most beautiful girl at prom and all the boys like you and you become independently wealthy at your dream job as an interior designer, then your middle-aged fantasies have become how you can look super-hot wearing whatever the fuck you want and still get respected by your colleagues for your extreme competency in your profession and also have handsome men with good jobs beating down your door no matter how much your hair looks like you scalped Paul McCartney c. 1964.

She's absolutely one of those characters where I'd hate her if I had to deal with her myself, but because she's fictional and can't hurt me, I support all her wrongs.

3. Everybody else!

As is the case with good legal dramas, the main lawyers are not the only lawyers! Instead, Hyena has a wonderful cast of supporting characters who become part of the legal eagle team.

They’re exactly the kind of charismatic background weirdos I’ve come to expect from Korean dramas. You’ve got the whole batch: the potential love rival, the secondary romance couple, the supportive nonthreatening bestie, the workplace misfits who are both extemely competent and completely underappreciated at their jobs, and the childhood-friend-turned-cop I couldn't find good promo pictures of for reasons prrrrrobably related to the actor's DUI arrest.

No matter how enjoyable a main romance is (and it is! see point 5!), it cannot sustain a whole sixteen-hour drama on its own. You need to mix it up and give your primary pair other party members to bounce off of! Hyena pulls together a good group of characters that are wacky enough to be entertaining, but (mostly) not so wacky you have to suspend your disbelief about how they got to where they are in life.

And they’ve also all got some interesting relationships to masculinity and/or femininity, which is pretty par for the course with how the show clearly enjoys…

4. Getting gender all up in your business

While it's not an overt, in-your-face theme, the status of women in Korean society is definitely at play in this story. The realm of law, politics, and buisness as depicted here is absolutely a man's world, where few women are allowed, and only in a very limited number of roles. Of course there are always wives/girlfriends and secretaries doing all the helper grunt work, but a token handful of ladies can be allowed into actual ranks of power ... sort of. They'll always be second best to their male peers and relatives, of course, but doesn't that gender diversity look nice in the company's annual report!

As mentioned earlier, Yoon Heejae starts out as a good ol' boy from a long line of good ol' boys, dick-measuring with the rest of them and shooting straight for the top. It's only when he's blindsided by soft power that he starts to re-evaluate what he's gotten himself into. Maybe being a good son is actually a racket! Maybe these squads of tie-wearing ass-kissers aren't actually that fun to be around at all! Maybe he's actually much better-suited to playing on the girls' team.

Meanwhile, Jung Geumja's "ruffian from the wrong side of the tracks" role is such a man's role, but she's definitely a woman inhabiting it. Hell, half the stuff she gets away with, she does because everyone's just so shocked to encounter a woman doing and saying these things. So she does weaponize gender expectations - just not in the way you might expect a woman in a romance-centered drama to.

In the aforementioned support squad, the male attorneys are all gender failures in one way or another, which is why they haven't advanced in their jobs the way their colleagues have. They cannot perform hard-drinking, ethics-ignoring, 90-hour-workweek masculinity to the standards of the high-powered suits who run their law firm. It's only Jung Geumja who, given the choice to assemble her own crew, can see that they have immense value beyond the very gendered expectations of their profession.

Meanwhile, Boon Hyunah, the only female attorney on their team, is great at both representing and subverting that Exceptional Woman femininity. I was cautious at first, because she was clearly introduced in a way that made her seem like she was going to wind up being the evil popular girl/rival bitch whose entire job was to prove by contrast that Jung Geumja is Not Like The Other Girls. Not so! They actually wind up good friends and trusted colleagues. Female solidarity is so much more fun than contrived romcom catfighting!

Maybe my favorite character in the whole show, though, is the littlest gender-nonconforming angel, professional soft butch Lee Jieun: Jung Geumja's eternally beleaguered secretary, sidekick, gofer, co-conspirator, caretaker, and only friend.

She's clearly taken her haircut notes from Jung Geumja, but instead of going the track suit route, she's dedicated herself to the tweed lifestyle. And I love that nobody ever tries to give her a makeover or make her feel bad for not being femme! She makes friends with the other, much girlier secretaries, who seem to welcome her into their group with no problems. She finishes the show as frumpy as she was when she started.

I was prepped for the drama to give her a male love interest to defuse her obvious lesbian vibes, but it does not! She does not even, to my recollection, express desire about anyone. She oohs and ahhs over flowers and other gestures of romantic interest that happen to other people, but not in a particularly jealous way. She ships Yoon Heejae and Jung Geumja, and that's what matters to her.

The entire reason I found this show in the first place is that it has a "sismance" tag on MyDramaList, presumably for the relationship between Jung Geumja and Lee Jieun. Their relationship is wonderful, but it's way more sis than 'mance. They're more like two sisters with a huge age gap, where the dweeby younger sister has dedicated herself to doing anything her cool older sister wants her to do, and the cool older sister has decided that having a minion is worth putting up with having to wrangle a dweeby younger sister.

This show is also very female-gazey. Not only does it gleefully ogle Yoon Heejae's long-legged frame pretty much every chance it gets, but it makes Jung Geumja gross-hot in a way that only a lesbian could love. And that makes the fact that she has not one but two handsome men fighting over her even better! This is a world where our gorgeous male lead has a choice between a conventionally attractive, professionally dressed, charming, dignified woman in her early twenties, and a fifty-year-old human tornado with a foul mouth and a bad haircut, and he goes straight for that cougar without even blinking. He wants her to step on him so hard.

And speaking of:

5. Law, Partners

This is a romance worth being into.

Sure, they're both real hot (at least, by my bisexual lesbian standards), but we all know by now that being hot separately doesn't always guarantee being hot together. Fortunately for this show, they very much are.

What makes this pairing so interesting is that this is a relationship between equals. They start out with huge power mismatches both ways, since he's socially her superior, while she's lying to him real hard. When they're finally at a point where they're on even footing, it's so good, especially since she's clearly on a trajectory to emerge as the senior partner in this relationship. They’re such a great team, in fact, that the kissy part of their dynamic becomes secondary by the end. Yeah, sure, they like one another -- but more importantly, they can finish one another’s closing arguments. When you're a middle-aged Mary Sue, that right there is some good fucking romance.

If you read my other rec posts, you know I'm very picky about my het. This is good het. Maybe not great het, but still very good. Solid 8/10. Their chemistry is strong. I can absolutely imagine her strap-on collection. He's like a foot taller, but we still know who's going down.

Into it?

Netflix made this one, so Netflix is where you're going to find it. This does mean, annoyingly, that a lot of the onscreen text doesn't get translated, and none of the English lines get captioned, both of which are incredibly bad practices. Come on, Netflix, you've got eleventy bajillion dollars, you can do better.

...Also, am I wrong about people knowing that other people think female hyenas have penises? Is this knowledge what I deserve for spending too much time studying the ancient world? Dammit.

Kick his ass, baby; I'll hold your track suit.

[thursdaygirlmp3]

big day for media business girlies now that watcher is trying to go the dropout route - some thoughts below the cut

>big L on the fact that they don't have first mover advantage as a lot of their audience already has crossover with other paid subscriptions for independent productions (eg. Dropout, Nebula etc) and they still have a fairly young audience who don't have enough purchase power to subscribe to multiple services past a certain point. my sense is that the average viewer will put watcher on the chopping block - their output unfortunately simply isn't high enough to justify it as a good deal for most folks

>I do understand why they would make this move given how high their production quality is. one only has to assume that their 11k patreon supporters were not enough to meet their P&L. i'm assuming an 80% conversion of patreon subscribers to watcher subscribers will probably happen

>they've had 2 rounds of funding from what I remember, I'm sure there was some push from the investors also to meet their profit line so they could see returns. if they drop a few business focused interviews (hoping for a colin and samir episode, they're one of the best in the YouTube business news space) I'll have a little more to work with in terms of understanding why they did the damn thing

>bigger L on putting their back catalogue behind a 50$ paywall - a bad move both in a business and viewer satisfaction sense

>the value for subscription looks? okay? it's not tooo bad. but if I had to make a choice, i probably wouldn't want to dish out the money for this singular service. superfans probably won't mind but as someone who has become a moderate-to-casual fan, it's just not worth it for me, even to access a few comfort episodes of their back catalogue. it's YouTube, someone will have it backed up on a drive link somewhere.

>i'm hoping for the best for them because more independent creators being able to properly fund the work they'd like to do is ultimately a good thing, but media and entertainment is very much an economies of scale business - you need be certain you have a very high and dedicated viewership to undertake large projects which cost a lot of money. if they don't have enough supporters immediately they'll be unable to launch at the scale at which they want to, which also means it'll take longer and harder for new viewers to pour in. it's not company-ending stuff, but it's a tough journey and i wish them the best

will probably reblog this with more thoughts as more details come out

[nxathyx]

Help I love your work so much omg- it's literally my type of thing like a little bit of Crack but in a yk😁 way. Anyways are your requests open? If so, and if your comfortable hb giving bsd men (such as fyodor, dazai, at sushi etc whoever you can) the silent treatment for a day. It can be nsfw or just crack your wish. Love you bye!! ⋆˙⟡♡

Okay okay!!

Tw: nothing but the usual cursing, and mentions of sex and intimacy

Atsushi Nakajima

°why would you do that to him 🤨 🤨

°personally I headcannon that Atsushi has stopped dwelling as much on his emotions (around the s3 timeline due to Akutagawas words)

°that being said I doubt he'd cry but it's quite obvious he's upset or just confused why you're giving him silent treatment

°overthinks a lot

°bro is almost fucking harassing you cause he's desperate to know what he did wrong 😃😃

°definitely goes to Dazai or Kyouka for advice

°can't focus that much on work and ends up getting scolded by Kunikida

°you better fucking apologise.

°definitely no like sexual "punishment" cause he genuinely thinks it's morally wrong to punish someone through sex and it should be an act of love and affection or some shit like that (same though)

°he'd definitely be confused and might be afraid to fuck up for like the next 3 months so he needs a bit of reassurance after that

Dazai Osamu

°he knows but will play oblivious and just stick to you like a literal fucking magnet

°he will just annoy you till he gets what he wants (which is for you to snap and break the treatment)

°makes a sexual joke or few but doesn't mean them

°finds it entertaining when you try not to snap at him

°however he would probably prefer to sit down and just question why the fuck you were acting like that

°definitely suggested a lot of intimacy as a form of making up for it but it's fully up to you whether you want to or not

Akutagawa Ryuunoske

°he cried cause he's a little bitch (/j)

°gives you the silent treatment for twice as long cause he's a dick (fails after 5 hours and starts complaining about everything)

°I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS OF HIM AS SOMEONE WHO COMPLAINS 24/7 WHEN HE GET COMFORTABLE

°deffo calls you pathetic and then literally nags you for like 10 minutes and then goes back to doing his work (he legitimately doesn't know what to do in his spare time now

°he sleeps on the couch that night (or throws you out on the couch)

Chuuya Nakahara

°just leaves you to it and patiently waits till you have calmed down and then you two sit down and decide on a mutual agreement

°(he's starting to doubt himself but will just keep it to himself until it's "the right time to talk about feelings")

Fyodor Dostoevsky

°I'm sorry but he doesn't give a fuck

°"ah yes this is all according to plan😈😈" (he didn't plan shit)

°give him silent treatment till he treats his lice💋💋

°he will just sit in his discord moderator cave being a sugar daddy on roblox or something I don't fucking know

°after a while he'll legitimately get annoyed why you're acting like this "what did did I do wrong, baby girl ☹️👿😕😕

[ladysarai]

@inception30daychallenge day 1: my favorite thing about the movie

I think my FAVORITE thing about Inception is how MUCH there is to it, as a movie. You can watch it a zillion times and get something new from it every time, and you can read one person's take and be impressed and amazed because you didn't even think of that take!

But what REALLY makes me sit up and pay attention to a piece of media is Characters, and Relationships. I love how MUCH the cast did with so very little... I want to know EVERYTHING about Arthur's relationships with Mal and Dom, (okay, ESPECIALLY Mal) just because of the way he calls Mal "lovely" and because of the way he PUTS UP with Dom and follows him around and has obviously been loyal through So Much Shit and then the way he SMILES in the end. Cobb himself is a hot mess, and given only the context of the movie, you have to wonder why anyone would put up with the things he puts Arthur through, so there has to be a history there, right?? And OF COURSE I'm here for Arthur and Eames and their shared history, whatever that may be (they're married okay). The fact that in the paper script, Arthur and Eames could have been played so differently by two other actors is... It's a little awe inspiring, and just makes you really appreciate what actors can bring to their roles.

I love that every single time I watch it, there is something new to notice, some new nuance to pick up on, a new piece of canon that can be used to spin out headcanon or fic from. And I absolutely ADORE that so much is open-ended and there's no real WRONG interpretation; I think that's what's given the fandom such lasting power over the years. We're give so little actual canon that very little fanon is actually contradicted. It's kind of beautiful that way.

On a personal note... When I say that I'm new to the Inception fandom, I mean BRAND NEW... like as of April of this year new. Which is not to say I didn't see the movie when it came out in 2010, because I did! I watched it more than once! But here's the thing... You ever have those experiences where OTHER PEOPLE ruin a thing for you before you give it a chance yourself?

That's what happened with me and Inception. I thought "hey, fun movie" and left it at that. Largely because my younger brother was in this weird "I'm a Movie Connoisseur/Expert and My Opinion is the One That Counts" stage and as someone with self-proclaimed "man crush" on Leo, he was All About Cobb, who is easily my LEAST favorite character. He was also All About arguing for the "it's all a dream" theory over the ending, which I think beautifully demonstrates the main difference between us: I am an optimist and prefer happy endings. So he would Not Shut Up about this movie and how GROUNDBREAKING it was and how the pessimistic viewing of the ending was the Only True Way to watch the movie. (May I say how much I fucking love that this has generally been disproved in the last 14 years? Because I have serious Schadenfreude over that.)

(I was also RPing in a panfandom LJ game at the time with people who were obsessed with playing characters played by Certain Actors and our game wound up with an Arthur and an Ariadne and I think they shipped them but it was full of ~drama~ and I wanted nothing to do with it so I kept my Barbies on my corner of the game and avoided theirs.)

ANYWAY, this is a very convoluted and long-winded way to get to my point. Which is that I largely forgot about Inception for the last 13 years-ish. Then I was rereading some old fanfics in March and because I liked an author, I went to see what other fandoms they'd written for. And somehow I fell into Inception and discovered Arthur/Eames, and HOW THE FUCK DID I MISS THAT????? After a few weeks of reading fic, I decided to watch the movie again and, well. Then I was watching it every other day for several weeks.

Moderation? What's that?

So another favorite thing about this movie is that I got back into fandom for the first time in... god. Almost ten years???? Because of it. Which is a little miraculous by itself.