#by the way i am explaining everything i do?

[val-the-protoss-simp]

Yeah, so. The best way I can explain my thoughts on these ships (especially Artazun - Artanis/Vorazun) is using one of Avril Lavigne's most iconic songs:

He was a boy

She was a girl

Can I make it anymore obvious?

Like, I'm not trying to throw any shade at all, people can ship whatever they want. But I am yet to meet a person who ships these two that explains why they like them so much in a way that makes sense to me. Because sooner or later, their explanation boils down to "He's a guy and she's a gal so ofc they'd be into each other" as if a straight ship is some kind of default and if a story has a male main character and a female main character, they have to end up together. And I just don't see it. Them as friends? Sure, absolutely, imo they're great as friends, but not as a couple. Alarak and Artanis have way more chemistry with one another. Bit of a hot take but so does Rohana and Vorazun. But Artanis/Vorazun is about as interesting to me as watching paint dry is. It's like when you pick up a mediocre romance book where the girl character obviously ends up with the boy character because That's Just How Things Are no matter of they're good together or not. No thanks. Pass

Kerrinor is a bit more complicated in a sense that the game actively tries to convince you these two are really into each other. But if I had to sum up their vibes, I'd reach for Sk8tr Boy again. "He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it anymore obvious?" I just don't get the romantic vibes at all off of these two. Raynor frequently comes off as an incel that gives the vibes of someone who'd insist they know better than you and just to listen to them because they know best, while also transforming into the biggest simp in the galaxy in SC2 as he pines over a woman that's obviously not into him.

And Kerrigan gives me the vibes of someone who really does wanna see more in this weird relationship, but more because she thinks having someone to love will make her feel whole and worthy of living rather than that she really wants this. Like, if shit didn't go south and she didn't get infected, I'm 100% that eventually she'd go "Yeah sorry lol this ain't gonna work." and break it off with Raynor. Like, I do think she cares deeply for Raynor, don't get me wrong, and at one point might have thought what she feels is romantic love, but eventually comes to a point where she realises that it's a sense of kinship rather than anything romantic. She loves him as a friend, that is all.

And funny enough, if you know more about his character, you know he had a wife and a son that he tragically lost. Knowing this information and how he's written, Raynor comes off to me as someone who's desperately looking for that kind of love again, albeit without realising, because the time he spent happy with his family was the happiest he ever was and his defeated, depressed ass desperately wants that again. So he seeks that shit and Kerrigan just happens to be there.

You can clearly see that he cares deeply about her, but his feelings of affection are misplaced to the point he doesn't want to see the kind of person she is and instead tries to morph her into the kind of woman HE wants. Which is not who Kerrigan is at all. Revenge is all she has left, no matter what it takes, and Raynor again and again tries to talk her out of it for his own personal wants when she makes it very very clear this isn't something she wants to do and that she cannot just let go of what Mengsk did to her and what that man's choices turned her into. And instead of trying to understand why someone he supposedly understands so deeply would want to kill the man who robbed her off of everything and turned her into a monster that killed billions, he gets butthurt when she doesn't wanna run off with him and live happily ever after. I love Raynor for many reasons, I think he's a well written character in a lot of aspects but this just. Ain't it. If the game treated this behaviour of his as a flaw, I'd dig it. But instead it tries to tell how boo boo poor Raynor is just so unfortunate to want a woman that doesn't want him, even when he ignores everything that's important to her. That's just not doing it for me, fam. I get that the game tries to ram it down my throat as the technically only canon ship it gives us in its five installments, but I can't get behind it. Kerrinor is a big fat no for me, let them just stay friends.

a ship where i see what people see but it is simply not very interesting to me personally it’s like

[moody-alcoholic]

✨Freaky Friday✨

I’ve really needed to get back into writing smut after this angst kick I've been on. And of course it had to be poly141 because I cannot stop. This was also supposed to be short but I keep getting carried away.

WC: 2.7k

CW: +18 content MDNI. Exhibitionism, oral (F receiving), PiV sex, light dom/sub dynamics, slight overstimulation, light restraining, cum play?? No angst I promise, aftercare.

I am willing to die happily on the poly141 hill 🫡

Enjoy ya fility animals <3

____

They’ve only been back a week, everything felt so right. No matter what you were doing it felt right, and tonight was no exception. You’d ordered food and Johnny picked a film, you’re happily laid against Simon’s chest, his strong arm resting over you as his other hand runs through Johnny’s mohawk. Johnny tips his head forward every now and then forcing Simon to scratch the back of his head. 

You look over to the other sofa in the room John is laid flat with Kyle on top of him, his head on John’s chest. Kyle looks over, meeting your eyes and smiles at you, you smile back. 

“Christ, I'm not sayin’ it doesn’t happen like that but this has to be the worst military drama I have ever seen.” Johnny says from his spot on the floor, he huffs crossing his arms.

“You chose it,” Simon says, pulling gently on his hair.

“Yeah well, I thought it’d be more realistic.” 

“You’re telling me you’re not jumping between helicopters in flight, or shooting rockets at buildings?” You ask, raising an eyebrow and looking round the room. John chuckles.

“Sometimes we shoot rockets at buildings.” Johnny says, Simon scoffs shuffling his body so you're more laid against him as Johnny reaches over to pick the remote up.

“I fell out a chopper once.” Kyle says, you look over at him gasping. 

“How-wait-how have you never mentioned this before?” Kyle chuckles and starts telling the story with John adding anecdotes now and then. You’re listening so intently as he explains being thrown out a helicopter that you almost miss the fact Simon’s hand has slipped up your top. 

His calloused fingers brush over your nipples as you start to lose track of Kyle’s story. Simon presses his face into your neck, his tongue running up as he kisses you. His other hand has come off of Johnny’s head and is now working its way up to your other breast. 

You feel heat rush to your cheeks as Kyle and John catch on to what Simon’s doing. The only person who seems to be oblivious is Johnny, still mumbling and flicking through the movies list. You let out a shaky breath as he hikes your top up exposing you for John and Kyle to see. The few seconds of embarrassment fades, his giant hands cupping both your breasts and running his thumbs over your hard nipples.

Kyle’s all but given up recounting the story, his body shifting against John’s leg. He swallows wetting his lips as one of Simon’s hands moves down into your shorts. As soon as his fingers make contact with your clit you let out a soft moan. That gets Johnny’s attention he stops flicking through the films turning to see Simon with one hand down your pants and the other squeezing your nipple.

He turns on his knees instantly almost before you have time to say anything his hand comes up to your free breast. 

“Na ah, hands off Johnny. You had all the fun last night.” Simon says in that voice that sends chills up your spine. His fingers haven’t stopped pressing on your clit, running tight circles as he breathes down your neck. “Gaz, come make our girl feel good” 

Kyle doesn’t have to be told twice, almost jumping off the couch over to you. Johnny whines as his hand leaves your breast. In the time it takes Kyle to get over to you Simon has helped you shimmy your shorts and underwear off. You spread your legs for him, Johnny is looking over your leg like a puppy who’s been told to sit and wait. 

“Lucky.” Johnny tuts as Kyle bends down between your legs.

“Keep complaining, you won’t get anything.” Simon says as his lips go back to your neck. Kyle’s pressing kisses up the inside of your thigh, taking his time, almost too much. You tip your head back as soon as Kyle’s tongue presses between your folds dragging all the way up to your clit. You moan out reaching down to his head but Simon grabs your wrists pulling your arms against your shoulders. 

Now you whine squirming under his grip, Kyle's fingers dig into your hips, keeping you in place.

“C’mon then Johnny make yourself useful.” Simon nods at your exposed breasts. Johnny’s mouth is locked round one of your nipples before Simon’s even finished talking, his hand going to play with the other. He’s gentler than Simon but right now he’s playing with you like it’s the first time he’s touched you in days. 

Simon’s mouth comes off your neck. “Like what you see sir?” He says nipping at your earlobe. You tip your head forward looking over at John, he’s still laid back on the sofa one arm behind his head, palming himself over his sweatpants. He smiles, you look down at Kyle’s head buried between your legs. His tongue is rough pressing and rubbing on your clit, each suck on your nipple from Johnny sends waves of pleasure between your legs. 

“Kyle-” You squirm against Simon who keeps you in place, your breathing picks up as he pushes you closer to the edge. Simon hums in your neck, presses kisses across your shoulder blade. 

“He making you feel good?” Simon grumbles in your ear. 

“Yes.” You breathe as your thighs squeeze Kyle's head. You arch your back as you cum. Kyle’s hands hold your hips down as he rides you through the orgasm. You loosen your grip around his head. Johnny hasn’t let go of your nipples which is now making your body twitch with overstimulation.

“Johnny.” You call, Simon still has a grip on your wrists. Kyle reaches over pushing Johnny off you causing you to groan at the lack of contact. You’re still panting in Simon’s chest, he lets your hands go and turns on the sofa. You lean forward before he stops you pulling you back up against him. You can feel his cock pressing into your back. 

“Agh, let me have a turn please.” Johnny begs pushing past Kyle to come between your legs. “She’s beggin’ for it.” He runs his hands up your thighs. You smile down at him looking over at John whose hand is shoved down his front now. 

“What do you think love?” Simon asks you, pulling you back to look down at Johnny looking up at you with his wide blue eyes. You hum smiling at him. That seems to be all the permission Johnny needs before jumping to his feet and pulling his clothes off. While you’re waiting Simon moves his hand down to you clit, his brief contact makes you shake his hand going down to your entrance and gathering up some of your slick.

Once Johnny’s naked he climbs onto the sofa hooking his arms under your knees and pulling you down. His cock rests on your stomach as he bends over to kiss you. You moan in his mouth, his tongue pressing against yours. You run your hands across his chest and down his stomach. Before you can get any lower he pulls away and Simon grips your wrists again. 

You huff much to Johnny’s amusement who strokes himself, teasing you by pressing his tip to your entrance, you’re already trying to grind your hips up against him but he keeps himself just far enough away. 

“Johnny,” You sigh. 

“Desperate lass?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. You nod whining, you’re being needy, desperate to feel him inside you. 

“Quit your teasing Tav.” Kyle says. You look over to him, he’s also stripped his clothes too. Johnny winks at him before pressing inside you. As soon as he does you tip your head back, you feel Sinmon twitch behind you, his thumbs rubbing your palms as he holds your hands out the way. Johnny’s desperate as he fucks you, needy and messy gripping your body wherever he needs to to drive into you deeper and deeper.  

“Kyle, touch me.” You say, he smiles bending down his fingers rubbing your clit as Johnny thrusts into you. “Yes, like that.” He hums his other hand squeezing your breast. Simons whispering in your ear now. When he’s not praising you he’s sucking on your neck leaving marks.

“Need everyone to know you belong to us.” he growls, hot in your ear. “Gonna mark you up before we go away again.” You hum trying to keep still, it’s not taking you long to race back to that sweet peak. Johnny’s leaned back now bucking his hips into you while Kyle matches his speed with his fingers on your clit. You clench around Johnny as you get close.

“Christ lass, forgot how good you feel.” 

“It’s only been a day.” Kyle chuckles. Your breathing picks up your heart hammering in your chest, you’re going to cum again already.

“Johnny-” You call his name as you cum pulsing around him, a few seconds later he’s throbbing inside you showing down his thrusts as cums too. Kyle’s hand leaves your clit and he moves over to kiss you. His kiss is soft, gentle as he moves his tongue around your mouth. 

Johnny pulls out of you, you moan in Kyle's mouth feeling empty. “C’mon Kyle, she’s nice and ready for ya.” You hear Johnny slap his ass as Kyle pulls off your mouth. 

“Think you can go again?” He asks, his thumb rubbing your chin.

“She can go again.” Simon hums as you nod. Kyle walks around to switch with Johnny. Kyle fucks you slow, he takes his time running his hands over your body. Simon lets your hands go to play with your nipples again. Normally it would take longer to have a third orgasm but the slower pace is a welcome respite. 

Kyle’s name is leaving your lips as Johnny kisses your stomach pressing his fingers on your clit. Kyle cums first his cock pulsing pushing you over the edge, you grip around him as he leans over you panting into your ear. 

“Christ love. You really are amazing.” You smile at him, painting as Simon's arms come to hug you. You almost completely forgot John was in the room until you see him moving around Johnny and Kyle who are both cooing over you. He’s naked too, although you’re not surprised you missed that one. 

Kyle gets up from the end of the couch, you expect John to take his place but instead he walks round looping one of his arms under your knees and the other round your back. As you’re scooped up in his arms you can feel the warmth of Johnny and Kyle’s spend slip down your thighs.

John sits down on the sofa with you on his knees, you spread your legs for him, leaning back against his chest. His fingers press into your pussy, coating his fingers in cum. His fingers are thick stretching you out.

“Took good care of you, didn't they?” He hums in your ear. You nod, your heart still pounding in your chest. His fingers curl up inside you pressing against the spongy spot inside you. “I think you need a little more hum?” 

“Yes please,” You breathe, grinding your hips against his hand.

“Yes please what?” 

“Please sir, I need more.” You beg. He smiles, kissing your neck.

“Simon get over here.” John says, clicking his tongue. Simon obeys instantly, pulling his shirt off over his head and undoing his belt letting it fall to the floor with his trousers. Johnny and Kyle jump up on the sofa laying naked in each other's arms. 

Simon is towering above you, his cock hard in his fist, leaking with precum. You’d been able to feel it twitching up behind you while Jonny and Kyle fucked you. John pulls his fingers out of you shiny with a mix of your slick and cum. He presses the fingers past your lips and you suck them clean. Simon likes that, watching you suck on John’s fingers. 

He takes a step closer to you and John moves you round so Simon has better access to your pussy. Simon’s hands run up your thighs, his thumb brushes your clit. John takes his fingers out your mouth pressing them on your clit. You tip your head back moaning as Simon lines himself up and presses into you. 

He’s big, stretching you out, it burns but in a good way. Especially since Johnny and Kyle have already opened you up. Simon’s hands grab your thighs angling you up. He’s vocal too panting and groaning as he fucks into you. You clench around him his cock hitting a deep spot inside you. John starts sucking on your neck.

“Simon’s been leaving marks on you huh?” John asks, you’re barely listening, his fingers continue to assault your clit. You nod moaning as you squeeze your eyes closed. 

“Better make sure you have some from me too.” He says as he sucks on your neck and runs his tongue over the others. One of John's hands comes up to squeeze your nipple.

“Yes, don’t stop.” You say arching your back. His hand moves down to press you back into his lap, you feel his cock twitch against you, his precum dripping down your back. 

“Si-” Your breathing turns to pants. You cry out at you cum, fighting in John’s grip as he holds you down. Your body is almost vibrating when you feel him twitching inside you.

“Bloody perfect.” Simon says leaning down to kiss you, his hands holding your face. 

“‘Cause she is.” John says, Simon breaks the kiss rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs. Simon’s hands leave your face then John turns you in his arms. He kisses you slowly, his hands supporting your body to lay you down on the sofa. Your head rests on the puffy pillows. 

He breaks from the kiss and you look up at him wrapping your hands around his neck. Your body is throbbing as he pushes into you, you clench around him immediately causing him to moan closing his eyes.

“Relax,” he breathes in your ear. You listen to him bending your knees. He’s slow like Kyle, taking his time. His hands are round your back angling you up slightly, it feels like he's crashing straight into your cervix with each long thrust. Your head is fuzzy, your body blissed out from the previous rounds. You’re not sure if you’re going to be able to cum again. 

His pace changes, he maneuvers you slightly and your mouth tips open moaning his name as the new angle feels too good. Now you’re definitely going to cum, especially now he’s panting in your ear. 

“John, yes-” Your nails run up and down his back as he drives into you faster. “Don’t stop.” You cry out as you cum throbbing around him, your whole body tenses as he pumps into you. His painting turns to groans. You don’t even realise you’re digging your nails into his shoulders until he pulls you out and you relax. 

“Fuck, you really are somthing.” He says leaning over to kiss you, his hand comes to brush the hair stuck to your forehead. He looks down at you planting more kisses round your face before he sits back on his knees. 

The sex may be good but the aftercare is always the best. Johnny and Kyle come over to you with towels, you don’t even know where they got them from. Johnny helps pat the sweat off your head and chest as Kyle wipes between your legs as they tell you how good you’ve been for them.

When your heart rate has settled they help you upstairs to the bath where John is already waiting for you in the water. You climb in with him leaning up against his chest as he washes your body, pressing kisses over the marks they’ve left on your shoulders and neck. 

“What would we ever do without you?” He hums in your ears, he litters you with compliments before Johnny comes back to help you out the bath and into the bedroom. Simon has already picked out the fluffiest pair of pyjamas and is laid in bed waiting for you. 

Even though you swear you’re not tired, you climb into bed with him, he wraps his arms around you and holds you until you inevitably fall asleep surrounded by them all.

...

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request the Itoshi brothers and Bachira with a ballerina reader?

“You can’t possibly be serious.”

Rin didn’t know a lot about relationship and girls, but he still knew when he said that, he crossed a line.

“Oh really.” [Y/N] snapped back at him. Arms crossed across her chest. Glaring at him with that fiery determination Rin usually respected, but now was a little scared of. “So you admit you think my training is BS compared to your training?”

The two of them had been on very intense practice schedules as of late. Rin training up to prepare for his next match and move up, and [Y/N] training for their upcoming performance and hopefully be scouted for prima in a company. They were stressed out, fried, and exhausted. And what do exhausted people do when they are exhausted? Compare their exhaustion so they make sure that their complaints are justified as they are the only one, in the whole wide world, who could be this exhausted.

“I didn’t say it was ‘BS’. I’m just saying you can’t possibly compare what I have to do to what you have to do. The weight training. The cardio.”

“The stretching. The vaults.”

“The practice matches. The strategy management.”

“Learning every step in the performance, even if it isn’t yours, to memory. Being lifted almost 8 feet in the air and hoping your partner can hold so you don’t break your leg, or your neck.”

“The ice baths.”

“Pointe shoes.”

“Having to deal with Isagi!”

The couple growled at each other before [Y/N] finally snapped. “Fine! You think it’s so easy, you do it!”

“Fine!”

Rin would live to regret that.

The next day, to foolishly prove a point, Rin went through [Y/N]’s whole workout schedule with them. The stretching, the vaults, the practice, the lifts. He wouldn’t let himself be lifted, nor wear pointe shoes, but by the end of the day his body hurt in new ways he didn’t even know were possible. “Still think it’s so easy?”

Rin looked up from the floor he was laying on up at [Y/N]. “Fine. I take it back.”

She smiled and knelt down beside him. “Well, I appreciate that. People think because ballet is all pretty costumes and fluid movements that it’s calm & easy. They don’t appreciate the work that goes into it.”

“I’m sorry.” He realized he was doing that. Belittling their hard work.

Rin sat up and took a sip out of his water bottle. “Are you going to do my training tomorrow then?”

“Sure. What’s fair is fair.” She agreed. “But no weights. I can’t bulk up anymore of Madam Costume Maker will murder me.”

Rin scoffed. “We’ll just do an easy day for you then. If you can’t handle it.”

She punched him in the shoulder, but Rin was too tired to even feel it.

One thing that people don’t tell you when you become a professional athlete is that it’s not just about the games anymore. It’s the press.

Sae sighed as he came back to his hotel room. Completely drained from having to deal with people all day and answer their silly questions. He just wanted to play football. Why did he have to tell everyone about his fitness strategy or what brand of saltines he liked?

As he was taking off his coat his phone rang and Sae answered it. “Hello.”

“Thank you for the flowers.”

A small smile tugged at Sae’s lips as he heard [Y/N]’s voice. “Of course.” With his game coming up, he was not in town for [Y/N]’s opening night. He felt bad about it, which was strange, but being professionals in their art sometimes they had to make sacrifices. That didn’t mean he couldn’t make an effort. “How was the show?”

“Good. Early critic reviews seem to be positive.” Of course they were with [Y/N] as the prima. “I wish you could have seen it.”

“I will.” Sae explains that he paid someone to film their performance. He had gotten special permission and everything from the company; with a hefty donation. “I’ll watch it later.”

“You sound tired.”

“I am.” He confessed.

“Poor baby,” [Y/N] cooed. Even though she was the one that went through the grueling physicality of dancing, she still seemed more concerned for him. “Why don’t you take a hot bath and get some sleep then?”

“They don’t believe in baths here.” Or at least his hotel room didn’t.

“A shower then. I’ll see you next week?”

“Of course.”

Sae hung up the phone and sighed again. Still tired, but a little refreshed from talking to [Y/N].

He showered and went to bed as suggested. Getting a goodnight sleep for another press tour tomorrow before the game. When he woke up that morning there was a knock at his door and a delivery from room service. A hearty breakfast of an egg white omelet, fresh fruit, and salty seaweed tea. The kind of breakfast he needed but would never get for himself. After accepting delivery, Sae noticed a card on the silver tray and quickly read it.

:Do your best: was all it said, but Sae knew who it was from.

He sat in his hotel room and ate his breakfast in silence. Watching [Y/N]’s performance on TV. Just because they had to make sacrifices didn’t mean that they couldn’t make the effort.

Bachira had been obsessed with ballerina’s ever since his mother took him to see a show once at Christmas.

The bright costumes. The spins. The music. It always excited him.

Dating [Y/N] was almost like being in the show. Helping them with their choro. Coming to rehearsals to see them practice. Bachira had probably seen the show a hundred times before actually opening night, and yet he was as nervous & excited as the actual dancers.

“You’re going to do great [Y/N]-chan~!” He whispered to her backstage.

“I don’t know…it’s a much bigger crowd than I expected….”

“That’s ok.” Bachira told her. “They’re all just faceless blobs in a crowd. Don’t focus on anyone but me in the first row. Unless…I get removed for cheering too loud. That’s gonna be hard for more….”

[Y/N] chuckled, then kissed Bachira’s cheek. “Thank you. I wouldn’t have made it this far without your support.” The music changed, coming up on [Y/N]’s cue, and they get into position to dance out. “Don’t get kicked out.”

“I’ll try~!” Bachira promised, then went to his seat to watch the performance from the audience. In awe & rapture of the beauty of the show and his partner.

[takaraphoenix]

I saw someone refer to Steter as a comedy relief duo earlier and it just completely sent me, because that's just... so far from what Steter is, in canon?

As I'm currently rewatching the show, it has shot up into being my favorite ship on the show because of the gravitas it has.

It's a ship that highlights Stiles' fearlessness in such intriguing ways, in canon. From the boy who yelled at a feral Alpha in the school, to their first face to face meeting at the school, when Peter recognizes him, knows him, acknowledges him ("You must be Stiles", as though Stiles' reputation as the one who figures things out proceeds him, as he is the first one to put together that Peter is the Alpha).

There's nothing comedic about the scene on the lacrosse field, when Stiles is kneelng beside Lydia's unconscious form and Peter... for reasons beyond comprehension... decides to curl his claws beneath Stiles' chin and guide him up. Not grab him by the arm and haul him up, not command him, not demand.

This is... sensual, filled with tension, and I don't even necessarily mean the sexual tension (even though the imagery of Stiles kneeling before Peter and Peter grasping his chin is something that I find hard to not see a sexual read on).

Peter kidnaps Stiles into the parking garage to force the boy to track down Derek and, sure, the "His username is Allison? His password is also Allison?" - "Still want him in your pack?" is absolutely iconic and is comedic... how do you boil that entire exchange down to "comedy relief"?

The way Peter offers Stiles the bite - Peter, who so far, only took whatever he wanted, never asked or offered - and doesn't force when Stiles says "No". Even the way Peter catches Stiles on the lie is a moment of tension and revelation on Stiles' part. The way Peter acknowledges Stiles as the clever one.

The season 1 finale? When Stiles sets the survivor of a horrific house fire on fire? Absolute riot, huh. It's vicious, it's cruel - it's everything.

And when Peter is resurrected? Sure, Stiles sarcastically asks if someone can kill him again and sure, Peter snarks about living in a cave system. But even in that episode, these brief comedic moments are absolutely overshadowed by the way Peter and Stiles work together, figure out what the vault is made of, then call Scott to warn him and Derek, by finishing each other's sentences. Two brilliant minds working together, on the same wavelength.

The next time they interact is when Peter tells Stiles about Paige, explains what the blue eyes mean. It's one of the more heavy and serious moments in the season, aside from all the death scenes. It's a big lore drop and character background on both Peter and Derek. And it's Stiles this information is shared with. It's a serious moment and even as Peter tells it all, Stiles doesn't trust, sees past the silver tongue and that too is part of the appeal.

When Peter and Stiles work together to save Cora's life in the hospital, while the Alpha Pack is hunting them down? Blind trust. Stiles asks Peter to help him and Peter doesn't even ask, much less quip, he just follows Stiles' lead and they work together.

Now, I'll admit, I haven't seen seasons 3B through 6 in six years and hey, maybe they'll be a real Abbott and Costello in season 4 and I'm just not remembering it, but damn it all to hell if the first half of the show doesn't present them as two clever minds challenging each other, with a growth from terror and pain to respect and teamwork.

I understand and respect not liking a ship, but I am genuinely baffled when people deliberately misinterpret a canon to suit their needs. Always makes me wonder what alternate reality's version of the show they were watching, surely not the same as me.

[pinkpastelcalesti]

It’s so hard to explain to people how rude Atrium health in NC is. They are absolutely fucking ruthless and I hate them for everything they’re worth.

Let me talk a little bit about it.

TW: family loss, death, grief, cancer, discussion of end of life care and hospice, mentions of prior family loss by suicide.

My grandma, one of the most important women and family in my life, passed from Mesothelioma back in April 2022. She received a lot of treatment of which she’d paid off herself, except for around ~6k in expenses for end of life care (hospice/at home nursing).

She was diagnosed in November 2021, and my mom quit her job to take care of her and be there for her as it was her only parent still alive at the time; my grandfather had committed suicide back in 2014. This was already hard enough for my mom but seeing her mom sick, after what she had already been through with her dad, on top of other personal matters, was a lot. It was tough. She cried so much.

She only had her mom and her sister, plus her sister’s family left. Alongside her father passing, my mom had lost her eldest sister in January 2019 from stage 4 breast cancer.

My mom and aunt were there with my grandma in her final hours. Her death was peaceful, with music, scripture being read (my grandmother was Christian; a person of the church), soft lighting, everything. She passed in her home, surrounded by the people she loved, because she asked to have it that way. My grandma hated hospitals. It brought back too many memories she didn’t want to remind herself of.

My mom still grieves her endlessly. She loved her mother with everything she had in her.

I loved that woman endlessly. I can’t even begin to describe how wonderful knowing her all my life until the moment she passed was.

I’m building this context up so anyone reading can understand the pain and grief that comes with such a loss.

After calling hospice and having to witness her mother be placed in a body bag, already traumatized enough, my mother came home at 3 am and all but passed out in the quiet; we had only grieved for hours at this point.

In the morning, amidst my mother’s anguish of losing her mom, do you want to know who called us?

Was it my extended family? No.

Was it a family friend? No.

It was atrium health. It was fucking atrium health.

They called my mother, who had not even had a day to process her emotions, and asked her if my grandmother would be paying her remaining medical bills. Six thousand dollars. Not 25 thousand, or 100 thousand. No. Six thousand dollars. And they called my mom as if they needed that money right then and there.

My mother’s response was a heartbroken sigh of, “my mother died at 11 pm last night. You’re calling me about her medical bills and she hasn’t even been gone one day.”

They had in fact placed a lien on my grandmother’s house to receive that last payment when they sold the home a few months after her passing.

Luigi Mangione is the people’s hero. Let it all burn. They do not care if we live or die, suffer or go peacefully, fight or give up. They don’t care.

Sincerely, fuck US healthcare.

Such timing.

Goes to show the insurance companies don't need the money.

[accio-sriracha]

"What's it like?" Regulus asked quietly, staring at the stars from their hiding spot in the garden.

"What's what like?" Sirius replied.

Regulus turned to look at him, the grass tickling his nose, "Being in love."

Sirius' eyes never moved from the stars, "Why do you ask?"

Regulus shrugged, "Just curious, I guess."

There was a long pause, Regulus assumed Sirius was trying to find the right words.

"It's sort of like falling." He explained, "It's slow at first. You don't even realise it. One day you notice the colour of their eyes is deeper than you thought. Less plain brown and more... chocolate coloured. The next time it's hearing their laugh and feeling yourself smile without meaning to, like your body wants to react, like the sound is... healing, I guess."

He paused again, finally moving to face Regulus.

Regulus nodded for him to go on.

"Eventually, all of the things you used to do as friends feel... bigger. Every touch doesn't feel so casual anymore. Everytime they say your nickname it's less of a joke and more like a secret, something sacred between the two of you."

He sighed, "Then, one day, you look up and realise how far you've fallen. And it's like there's no turning back. Everything reminds you of them. Everytime you make a joke you look to them first, to see if they're laughing. Everytime they walk in a room it's like nothing else matters." He laughed softly, the sound was nostalgic, "You find yourself looking for reasons to talk to them. Anything to be close to them, to feel their touch. Nothing is casual anymore, there's always... meaning, always something more left unsaid. It's understanding someone so deeply, and having them know you too."

Regulus smiled, "That sounds nice." He whispered.

Sirius nodded, "Yeah, it is."

"I want to have that some day." Regulus sat up, playing with a blade of grass between his fingertips.

Sirius sat up too, his own smile reassuring, "You will." He nodded, "Anyone would be lucky to have you."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Regulus pulled away from the pensive, his eyes filled with tears.

"May I be excused, professor?" Regulus asked.

The professor nodded, continuing his lesson on finding a positive memory for conjuring a patronus.

Regulus walked out into the hallway. His hands shook as he scrubbed the tears from his face.

And, of course, a voice from behind him caught his attention,

"Reggie! Hey, I thought you had defense class this hour?"

Regulus turned, meeting the deep chocolate brown of Potter's eyes. His stomach flipped as it always did when they were together.

"I do." He sniffed.

Potter caught the look on his face and his smile dropped. At once he was standing in front of Regulus, pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay, I'm here." He soothed, his hands rubbing Regulus' shoulders.

Regulus couldn't help the laugh that escaped him, because the touch sent sparks across Regulus' skin.

Potter frowned, leaning back to look at him again,

"Are you alright?" He asked.

Regulus shook his head, his smile appearing of its own accord,

"I think im in love with you." He whispered.

Potter's eyes widened, he leaned back a little further, "Do you have a concussion? You sound loopy. We should get you to the nurse."

Regulus stopped him mid-stride as Potter began to lead him down the corridor. He shook his head, tears filling his eyes again,

"I'm serious, Jamie. I'm in love with you."

Neither of them made the Sirius joke, Regulus had never once seen Potter speechless like this.

Eventually, he seemed to find his voice again,

"You're in love with me?" He repeated slowly.

Regulus nodded, "I am."

James took a while to process this. Regulus realised he probably should have waited to give the news when Potter wasn't on his way to the lavatory.

He was just about to apologise when Potter took both of his hands in his own,

"I've loved you for as long as I can remember."

The words hit Regulus harder than he could have ever imagined.

Before either of them could get out another word, Potter was pulling him into a sweeping kiss.

Regulus knew without a doubt this was the feeling Sirius had been describing all those years ago.

But he was wrong about one thing.

Regulus was the lucky one.

[doromoni]

Goodbye, I love you | CL16

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚. . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

Ships : Charles Leclerc x Reader

Genre : Heartfelt, Angst

Summary : Its time to say goodbye, you just didn't expect it to be this hard.

Masterlist | Soul Switch Series

< Previous | Charles’ Arc | Next >

Greetings Y/N. I am System 143 better known as the controller of the Soul Switch. You have been selected amongst the 8 billion souls of your kind to participate and live inside the bodies of people who are near the people you most admire. 

In this instance, the system recognizes your love and interest in Formula 1. You will get to be near and experience friendship and/or romantic relationships with your chosen driver in each reality

However, this does not come for free. Y/N L/N, in each reality you are tasked to capture the interest, trust, and gain the love of your chosen driver within our given time duration. The system will be giving you side quests and missions to achieve along the way. 

Failure to complete missions will amount to equal consequences. Failure to capture the love of the driver will automatically lead your soul to transfer back to your own reality. 

In the first reality with Charles Leclerc, we have put your soul into Alex Saint Mleux’s body. This reality is a trial run where we have not given you any missions, and the driver already has feelings for your soul. In the next realities will be more difficult as you move along. 

You are in full control and you may choose to leave the system anytime you’d finish a reality. You may not abandon a reality once you’ve entered. 

DO NOT IN ANY CASE ABANDON A REALITY. 

Y/N L/N, we recognize that you may still be confused. Please do so please use this time to ask the system about your concerns. 

“WHAT THE HELL???” You are speechless and your mind cannot comprehend the mass of information you’ve just received. So all you could say is … what the hell? 

Your mind was running in all directions, at speeds you cannot explain. 

System?! Soul Switch?! WHAT?!! What did they do to your soul?? Wait does this mean you’re dead?!

“Am I dead?” You asked to whatever entity that just spoke to you. You needed answers even though you knew to yourself that you were scared shitless.

“Please do not be frightened. Y/N, you are not dead. You are given a blessing to experience and spend time with people that you most admire” 

“I’m not dead but my soul is somebody else’s body?”

“Yes.”

“Where did their soul go? Are they in my real body then?” You asked perplexed. Because if you’re living their life, then does that mean they are living your life?

“No, child. Their souls are safely kept here with this system till you’ve finished the reality.” 

“Oh, I see. Then do the drivers and the people in that reality remember me when I leave the body?” 

“No, their memories will be erased and will be set to the ones before your Soul transfer”

“So, Charles doesn’t even remember me at all?” You asked, your heart slightly clenching in pain with the idea. 

“Yes, he does not remember you. When you left, Alex’s soul went back and they continued their lives as original” 

If they can’t remember you, then that would mean you can’t be attached to them.  Wow, that's fucked up. 

“Can I choose to stay in one reality?” You asked the system, hoping for some sort of permanence

“No, you may not. Once you’ve achieved your missions your soul will regress” 

“Oh. I see” You trailed off, soaking in everything you just heard. 

“Do you have more questions before your next reality, Y/N?”

“Just one. Can I talk to Charles one last time?” You pleaded to the system. You just needed to say a proper goodbye to Charles. 

“Just this one time” 

“Thank you”

Soul Progression 10%

Soul transferring to Alexandra Saint Mleux’s body ….

Soul Progression 50%

Memories Restoring …

Soul Progression 100%

Your Soul has successfully progressed!

You were back inside Charles’ house, everything was the same — but the atmosphere felt different. Same living room, same furniture, everything was the same except the feeling inside the room  

Looking around the living room, you can’t help but feel sad that you’ll be leaving all of this. It’s only been a month but you’ve grown to love your routine with Charles. 

It was wake up, get ready, eat breakfast together, play with Leo, then go to work, come back home, shower, then cuddle in bed till both of you dozed off.

Everything was easy with him.

“Hi, Mon Bebe. I’ve missed you” You spun on your heels when you heard his name for you from behind

“Charles… I miss you too” You said, letting a small smile spread on your lips as you opened your arms— asking to be embraced by the man whom you called yours, even just for a month. His embrace felt like home. The mixture of his perfume and his own scent calms your racing heart. You rested your cheek on his chest— hearing the thumping heart of Charles Leclerc, soothing all your anxieties. 

“No. Mi amore. You don't get it. I miss YOU. You were with me yesterday and days before that… but it didn’t feel like YOU. Please don’t think I’m crazy but ever since we went to Australia… it was different. You were different.” Charles exclaimed as he held you in his embrace, clutching you closer. Not wanting to let you go in fear of losing you again.

Ever since your soul had regressed— what felt like hours to you has been weeks for Charles in his reality. In your absence, Alex’s original soul had gone back to her body. 

Wait, didn’t the system say the drivers wouldn’t remember you? Then why did Charles recognize your soul?

“ I- Charles. You recognize me?” You slowly lifted your head to meet his eyes. 

“Of course I do. Y/N! I love you.” Charles said as if he were panicking. His hands removed from your waist now held your face. 

“Of course I do. I knew something was off. It was like you weren’t you for weeks. You were not the Y/N I love.” 

“Like I was a different person?” You asked the driver.

“Yes!” Charles exclaimed

“Like… I was Alex?” You tried to ask again this time with reluctance. You then saw a change in Charle’s face. 

“Y/N…. yes exactly. Alex… my girlfriend” You cringed at the realization that Charles finally understood. 

You see his face shifting with so many emotions, his eyes filled with words you cannot name. 

“Y/N. Who are you?” Charles finally asked. His grip on you tightened and then softened after seeing you flinch. 

“Charles, I’m not from he-“

Error: cannot access. The user is not permitted to share information with anyone in this reality. Failure to follow protocol will lead to immediate soul regression. 

“Y/N? Please talk to me” Charles begged. His hands now clutched his hair, as he paced the room. 

“Charles… I can’t say” You pleaded back

“Why can’t you?! Y/N what is going on?!! Please” Charles was in front of you again. He held your hands, clutching them as he begged for an answer.

“My soul is no—“

Error: cannot access. The user is not permitted to share information with anyone in this reality. Failure to follow protocol will lead to immediate soul regression. 

“I’m not from here Charles! My soul is not from your reality!” 

ALERT: THE USER HAS BREACHED PROTOCOL. SOUL REGRESSION IS NOW ONGOING

Warning: Reality Expiration 10%

“What are you talking about Y/N??” Charles was close to breaking down. His hold on you never breaking

Warning: Reality Expiration 30%

“I’m so sorry Charles. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be leaving okay?” You said with a small smile on your face. 

“Where are you going? Y/N please!” Charles asked his hands finding their way back to hold your face.

Warning: Reality Expiration 70%

“Thank you for everything, My Love. Live your life without regrets.” You said as tears rolled down your cheeks 

“Y/N where are you going?? Are you leaving me again? Please don’t! I won’t ask anymore questions, just please stay with me!” Now Charles was screaming with tears blurring his eyes.

Warning: Reality Expiration 90%

“Goodbye. I love you” You said as you kissed his lips for the very last time.

Reality Expiration 100%

Your soul has regressed! 

Welcome back Y/N. You have chosen your next reality would be with Max Emillian Verstappen

Would you like to remember your reality with Charles Leclerc? : Would you? 

Good luck with your next reality. 

Series Taglist: @simpacholic @stereading @lol6sposts @1potato2rulethemall @wertyuizxcvbnm @almostjollypizza @itgirlofthecenturysposts @coffeemin @evitarubio @multifan-idk @cluvsya @comicalivy @idkwhateversposts @charlesgirl16 @sunny44 : Open for requests!

Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : open for request!

[erinwantstowrite]

Hi I know you mentioned you being aroace just a couple days ago and I was wondering if maybe you could explain more in depth about how you found out your sexuality and what not? If it’s not too personal…

I’ve always sorta struggled since I haven’t had any crushes as a kid except for maybe one and that’s just cause ppl kept asking me who mine was… so I don’t even think it was a legit crush?? So not only do I not know who (looks,gender, that sorta thing) I would like … am I ever gonna like someone to even find that out???

I know you said Superman on the new trailer was hot ahaha so do you still experience that sort of physical attraction? I’ve been told when people question which gender they like, to pick which one looks more attractive to them but I’ve never really experienced that sort of physical attraction so I can’t tell that way either…

I think any thought of a crush forming was more towards their personality as well. Looks I guess are more of a second thought I think..? Even then I can’t tell if this is “you’re such an awesome person I wanna be besties with you” really strong feeling or an actual “I wanna date this person” feeling.

The only person I’ve gotten really close to discerning it as officially crush was someone from work who was older by a good amount… which can be/is pretty weird.. Lots of people my age are just a little too crazy for me.. I guess??? Idk and even now I can’t tell if that was just “glad to have someone as a friend sorta thing. I’m really sorry if this is too personal and u don’t have to respond to the ask directly either I was just hoping on maybe some advice for some clarity if possible… as I get older and realize I’ve never dated/had that sorta infatuation it feels so excluding at times.

Also I am hoping for a feast AND desert with this “‘soon’ but still haven’t posted it two days later” chapter plz and thank you

I hope this made sense and wasn’t too invasive!! :(

when i was younger, i was reading about this kind of thing online and i didn't find anyone like me. i think it's about time that i come full circle and make my own post. i've got like half of my frontal lobe developed and i've been figuring out a lot of things about myself these past couple of years, and there might be someone out there who needs to hear this (´-`ʃ♡ƪ) so if anyone is interested, below the cut is a very long talk about how i figured some stuff out

when it came to my sexuality, i only started considering it when i was in middle school, going into high school. (which would be when i was 12-13). that's when a lot of my friends started having crushes on our classmates and i realized they were being serious when they said they had crushes on people. they had figured out their identities as being a lesbian or bisexual, and they had relationships. (or as close as you can get to that in middle school).

i started to panic and think that i was lagging behind. and i really started to repress my feelings about dating people and romance and what that would entail. i found out through the internet about being pansexual. at the time i thought "oh, they have the same attraction for everyone!" and i slapped it on myself because i thought it would fix everything. i even came out to my parents as pansexual and for a while i left it at that.

i had an idea of romance. i shipped characters in media and i knew that my parents really loved each other. there were a lot of examples for love in my life that weren't the best, but having two parents that actually did care about each other made me want that for myself in the future...

but that's in the future. i personally didn't think about it much because we were still kids. for a while i didn't think anyone else was being serious, that they were just trying it out quicker than i was ready for. it was a strange feeling. i guess i still believed we were playing make believe, or copying what we saw on TV or with our parents. often when my friends asked me who i had a crush on and i felt pressured, i would pick someone that i thought i wouldn't mind dating if i had to. someone would be "interested" in me and i would say "okay" because i felt like that was part of this game we all seemed to be playing. i've had a few "boyfriends" over the years that got people off my back when i had them. in elementary school it was this boy that didn't pick on me, another boy that was my parents' friend's kid. in middle school i had an online boyfriend and a couple of "crushes" on friends of friends, someone just a little far out of my circle that didn't shake anything up. my friends would help me get together with a person and they'd seem so excited for me, so i just went along with it.

then it hit me that they weren't doing it just to do it, or playing pretend. they actually felt something when they were interacting with their crushes. i started to reread books and rewatch media and really grasp what they were saying. the feeling of having butterflies inside them when they talked to each other, blushing when something was said? i thought that was about a general anxiety people get when talking to other people. but there was always something more to it that i just... didn't get. no matter how hard i tried, i didn't understand what that something was.

then started coming the pressure to do the same, to fit in. that's why i accepted a label of pansexual. it was "strange" but at least it didn't feel "broken." i could deal with people telling me that i was wrong for liking more than just boys. but to say that there was no one on the table gave me an anxiety i'd never felt before. like i would be letting down my family, that the entire course of my life would shift. i wouldn't walk down the aisle because there would be no wedding. my parents wouldn't have grandkids. my friends would go on to have lives completely separate from mine, we'd have nothing in common anymore. so i stuffed it all down and made myself believe that this wasn't who i was.

it really mixed me up because i did have a couple of "crushes" that felt real. there were a few girls i was friends with, there were boys in my classes (usually class clowns...) that i'd get excited to see every day. when i thought about dating them, it felt nice. any other time when i thought about dating someone, i'd get this awful feeling in my gut that i later realized was dread. i was fully convinced it was different from all the other times. that "different" that i didn't understand before.

it was different! but not for the reason i thought it was. those people made me laugh, they listened and remembered things about me (that i didn't get much of during that time of my life), and most of all: they didn't like me back.

there were literally no expectations in their eyes for things to go away from friendship. and i think that's what made me like them, but not as a crush. it was relief. there was always an expectation for other people (specifically boys) that if we were friends, things would stray from friendship at some point. not with these people. that relief, combined with all the other good feelings they gave me (class clowns...) made it so much easier to fall into a friendship that i didn't have with other people. and i was in denial for so long that i thought of those friendships as crushes because they were different from other friendships.

there were a couple of times that i got close to having to face my sexuality and it felt like a gut punch. there were a couple of people i was friends with (that i didn't have crushes on) that i had previously thought "if i had to pick someone" about. but when they actually told me their feelings, i would run away. in one case, i literally ran away. i changed my entire routine so that i wouldn't have to face them. and i'm a creature of habit, so of course i took that step back and asked myself why i was having such a strong reaction. my friends didn't understand why i was so panicked about these confessions. especially because before, i "liked" people and had no problem with it.

part of my feelings were that no one would actually like me (which only furthered me not wanting/not considering romance). some of the confessions that i got were fake/pranks, and it would really mess with my head. i wasn't skinny, i knew i was strange and awkward, and i could be very brash and stubborn. i had a weird sense of humor and i missed social ques. i got a lot of "you should be a lawyer" and complaints of being bossy when i was growing up and i always knew they really meant "you're a bitch." i wouldn't understand why i felt so othered from my peers like that until i learned i was possibly autistic, and i only found that out a couple years ago. combined with being plus sized and not conventionally attractive, i didn't get much breathing room. if i wasn't perfectly calm all the time, if i didn't force myself to be overly nice to people, and if i wasn't funny, i'd get told i was "draining" to be around.

i did a lot to try and fit in. i kept my hair long because people would compliment it, i tried to wear skirts instead of pants/shorts, i'd wear comfy clothes and the like so i didn't look like i was trying too hard. a lot of my personality was forced and i was the one who was being drained instead. i ended up having to get a radar for when people were just messing with me. and so when a real confession happened, there was a combination of anxiety about if they were faking or not, doubt that they could actually like me, and then a deep rooted fear about if they were being serious.

instead of the relief i should have felt when i learned it was a real confession, i still felt scared. it would be the same anxiety as if someone asked me to get on the world's tallest roller coaster in the world and i had just seen a chunk of the roller coaster fall in front of me.

that part made it even harder to come to grips with my sexuality. i thought if i gave up on being a hopeless romantic, i'd be giving in to all the times someone told me "I just don't see you dating anyone." being unlovable was a death sentence in my eyes. and it didn't help that i've lived in the south all my life. i was already strange and going to hell for a multitude of things. turning around and telling them that i was going against every expectation set of me to get married and have kids by 24????

(i should clarify that my parents had never been the ones to put this in my mind. when i came out as pansexual, they had only been confused about what the hell that was. the rest of their reaction was "i mean... we could already sort of tell." and while my parents had hopes for my future, i knew deep down that while they'd be a little sad not to have those expected memories with me, they wouldn't turn me away. and they would very likely be happy to create a whole different set of memories with me.)

i have my current friends to thank for me coming to terms with who i am. by the time i was in college i had started to question everything. my middle school friend group had been majority queer but we had gone to different schools or just faded apart. in high school, a majority of my time was spent in band. and while i was one of those people who had friends in a variety of friend groups, the closest friends i had were the people in my section that i sat next to every day. and in the present time, only a couple of them remained straight churchgoers. even though they've changed now just like i have, during high school i was a different story.

going to college opened me up to a far different experience. by this point i'd shifted from pansexual to bisexual. my college experience wasn't... ideal. or really healthy in any aspect. but meeting these people did dislodge the mindset i'd had for most of my life. and my current friends have changed my life. the fear that i had about being aromantic has now become the relief i needed my entire life. it doesn't feel broken, or wrong, or strange. sometimes i do feel sad about it, or question if this is really the case. maybe one day i'll meet someone who shows me that "different" feeling i'd been waiting to understand. but i grew past the societal expectation of needing a partner to be fulfilled in life and i'm so much happier.

life doesn't need to be about that partner. i have many, many friends and family to grow old with. i have a godchild!! one day i'll have my own house to celebrate holidays and achievements at, to host my friends and family. i'll have pets that i love and i'll have my own career, and i'll be happy because i never needed to fit expectations to be happy.

when it comes to anything sexual, it's sort of the same feeling as when i had "crushes" on people in real life. though also different? i don't look at real people and feel an attraction beyond knowing that they are attractive, objectively. i can feel attraction sometimes in a physical sense, but i have no interest in having anything personal happening between us. a fictional character has no interest in me, and so it feels safe to think that they're hot and to express it. like sure, yeah, i have a crush on them! i get giggly when Captain Smoker from One Piece shows up on the screen, and the new Superman makes me think "oh! okay!" but if they were real and in front of me? i'd probably... lose that attraction, like it was never there.

here's the kicker, though, and might sound weird at first: you don't have to put a label on yourself

yeah, i do consider myself aroace. but the world is ever changing and so is the human experience. it helps to have a basis, to understand your feelings and work through them. it's nice to be like "there is a name for this" and to find a community through that. i'm not saying there's anything wrong about figuring out your identity and saying "I'm this, this, and this!" nothing at all wrong with that. but we're all figuring ourselves out, all the time. it doesn't end when you put the label on. you have the entire rest of your life to continue learning things about yourself and the world around you. i wish i'd known in middle school that i didn't have to rush it, that i have every opportunity to take it one phase at a time. a human life seems fleeting, especially when you're looking back on your past and feeling like the time flew by. but that's just our perception of it as we look back.

what i mean to say it that it's okay to backtrack. it's okay to change your mind. it's okay to not put a label on it. it's okay to put a label on it. it's okay not to tell anyone, if you don't want to. it's okay to say "i'll figure it out." and it's okay if you don't. it's okay if you sit up in bed one day when you're 60 years old and go "that's what it is." as long as you live your life listening to yourself and not trying to meet an expectation you think you have to, then you're doing it right.

and it's okay if you lived your life like i did, and you didn't do any of that. being a human is messy and that's part of life. you're not gonna get it right the first time- but even then, sometimes you will! there's a nuance and a spectrum to everything you experience. take pride in who you are even if you don't have a clue yet. be kind to yourself. you're gonna be okay.

[olenoidedserratuspilled]

That's a neat wall of text I guess. Doesn't actually relate to anything I actually said, though. I never said that calling men demons matters in and of itself, neither did I say that men are marginalized for being men.

What I did say is that TERFs like to use man-hating as a rhetorical trojan horse to push their own genuinely bigoted views, and that as such spreading man-hating rhetoric makes it easier for them to do just that. You're not going to read it, and I'm expecting you to block me after this, but I'll explain my point under the cut:

TERFs want you to believe they're defined by hating men, but in reality they are defined by hating women: trans women.

What TERFs want you to believe or not has nothing to do with what I said. What I did say is that the claim that "TERFs love men", cis or otherwise, is absurd to anyone who's actually seen TERF rhetoric in action.

I think a lot of people see TERFs calling trans women men and using their bioessentialist rhetoric about "males" and assume that TERFs hate trans women for the (in their eyes) crime of being men. The problem with that is that it's too rational.

Is it, though? Even if you agree that "All men are bad" is rational, the stance of "Trans women are men" isn't, and TERFs do very much believe trans women are men. That's where their irrationality begins, even if it isn't where it ends.

Bigotry is not logical. TERFs don't aggressively misgender trans women because they think being a man is the worst possible thing to be, they do it because they know how hurtful it is to trans women. The cruelty is the point.

The point is that they believe trans women are men, and they view aggressively misgendering trans women as correcting a slight against themselves personally and/or womankind at large. The cruelty may be the point, but they do very much justify that cruelty to themselves by rationalizing that trans women are both A) men and B) an especially evil, insidious and sexually deviant kind of man.

Despite their rhetoric, TERFs often pal around with cis men.

Cis white wealthy men, yes. I.E. the ones that help them gain political capital. They certainly don't pal around with any cis men that don't provide them with any political gain.

They'll post men are demons, but how often do they harass and threaten cis men the way they do to trans women? Men are powerful and threatening, trans women are a vulnerable minority and (as a class) powerless in society.

Notice how I never said TERFs harass and threaten cis men the way they do to trans women, or that trans women weren't especially targeted by TERFs. Again, what I said is that the notion that TERFs somehow "like" men is absurd, and that TERFs use man-hating to either justify their actual bigotry or make it look more palatable.

You've provided several examples of TERFs being racist and Islamophobic.

Yes, they are also examples of TERFs using man-hating rhetoric to justify why their racism and islamophobia are acceptable. The very thing that I am pointing out is happening.

It has nothing to do with hating men and everything to do with racism.

The specific examples I provided do have somethign to do with hating men because it's being used as a cover for why the racism is justified. The TERFs I showed are very deliberately going "Well I don't hate them because they're black/muslim, I hate them because they're men! (Just ignore the part where I say white men aren't as bad". Why did I provide these screenshots? Two reasons: 1) to show how the statement that TERFs "like" men is nonsense and 2) to showcase how TERFs like to use men-hating to make their actual bigotry look justified.

When you qualify every statement about misogyny with white men, how do you think that feels to women of color who are dealing with misogyny in their own communities? Marginalized men uphold misogyny, because they are men.

Cool, show me where I said you should qualify every statement about misogyny with white men. Show me where I said marginalized men don't uphold misogyny. What I did say is that TERFs have a habit of singling out POC/marginalized men (because again, the man-hating is a cover for their legitimate bigotry) and have no issue with making scathingly bigoted statements as long as they attach the word "men" to it.

The more popular view among progressives these days, however, and particularly on Tumblr, is that hating your oppressor is justified and should not be policed. Except when it comes to men.

In the US and the rest of the anglosphere, maybe. Where I live? The man-hating is very much still part and parcel of it, even if we don't have as much of a TERF problem. I also still see plenty of man-haing on Tumblr, too. None of that is to say that man-hating is an important issue of some sort, merely to say that the popular view among progresssives in my experience is still that man-hating is okay. If your experience is different then good for you I guess.

Talking about trans men the way you talk about cis men is perfectly fine, because they are both men.

Is the "Bomb that kills all Transmascs" post perfectly fine? Are the people receiving anon hate (up to and including rape threats - oh, I'm sorry, "forcefem jokes") perfectly fine? Is harassing transmen and calling them slurs perfectly fine? None of these are hypothetical. They're all actually happening right now as we speak.

Yes, trans men are men, and I am not opposed to the notion that trans men can participate in misogyny. But I'm certain you can understand how believing they're deserving of the same hatred that cis men deserve isn't just wrong, it's dangerous to trans men.

"Talking about men of color the way you talk about white men" is a rhetorical trap."

Yes it is. A rhetorical trap that TERFs use to make their racism look justified. The thing that I said they do and showed evidence of them doing.

If, however, you simply say "men are the devil" and don't specify race, you are "talking about men of color the way you talk about white men" because you are talking about all men the same way and only their gender (and, really, their role in the patriarchy) is relevant.

Except that is'nt what TERFs are doing. That's what they say they are doing, but they are very blatantly and obviously singling men of color out while making excuses for white men. This is what they mean when they say "talking about men of color the way you talk about white men". This is the kind of behavior they use man-hating rhetoric to excuse.

Additionally, it's a mistake to assume all women complaining about men of color are white.

Show me where I said that. Go ahead, show me. What I did say was that women who single out men of color for things that men of every ethnicity do are being racist (because they are), and that statements like "I want to burn muslims (male)", "I don't give a fuck how these ugly brown men are treated in the west" and most bafflingly "white women tears is a term black and brown men came up with to silence white women"(!!!) are racist, because they are.

Trans mascs are dealing with transphobia. There is a serious transphobic backlash in a lot of countries right now and while tumblr may feel like it's in a bubble sometimes, it is affected by the outside world.

Yes it is. There is no shortage of TERFs and garden variety transphobes on Tumblr. There is also no shortage of people who are using man-hating rhetoric to excuse harassing trans men at the moment. That is the phenomenon I am describing.

It's a serious problem and we need to protect our trans community members.

Yes we do. There is however an undercurrent of people who don't believe all of our trans community members deserve protection. They are a vocal minority that are going out of their way to harass trans men and people who wish to protect them.

A lot of transmascs need access to both HRT and contraception and have the potential to need access to abortion. American transmascs are getting hit twice, with anti-trans bigotry and restriction of reproductive freedom both being major projects of the incoming (and in many states established) right wing government.

Yes that's very much happening. Nothing to do with what I'm saying but yeah I do suppose you're right about that.

Women saying "I hate men" on the internet does not threaten trans men's lives the way the right--TERFs included--does.

Show me where I said it does. Go ahead, show me.

What I did say is that there are people using the sentiment of "I hate men" to harass and threaten trans men (if you want me to provide examples, I can, even if I know you aren't reading this), and that as such there are trans men who feel othered within their own community by this kind of sentiment.

Anyway, if you're done putting words in my mouth, I think it might be best if we stop talking here

Something I want this website specifically to reflect on! Are you mad at women for talking about men the same way you talk about cishets or neurotypicals? Why?

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S3 Musings - Armand, Lestat, & Marius

I am SO glad Sam Reid properly contextualized Lesmand's mess, cuz folk keep ignoring the most crucial aspect of Armand's entire psycho-sexual obsession with Lestat: MARIUS.

Autumn Brown went and pulled out the same tired quote people always use from Blood Communion, Armand raving how Les is "it" for him, wigging TF out. But Sam shut that ish down immediately:

Cuz people constantly decontextualize the circumstances under which Armand even said that to Lestat in the first place:

I explained this all the way back when 2x3 aired and Armand gave that BS fanfic about Les "abandoning" him & Nicki & the coven--I knew Armand was lying, cuz that's NOT how Les leaving went down!

In the BC quote, Armand is saying that he loves & hates Lestat, cuz he's JEALOUS of Lestat. Armand was abandoned by Marius (I posted a whole tirade against Marius about this), and resented that Marius had forsaken his "beloved Amadeo" in his hour of need after being indoctrinated by the CoS; meanwhile Marius didn't know Lestat from a stranger in the effing street and still let the man live with him and told him all his deepest darkest secrets that he never told his own Blood Fledgling Spouse Child Amadeo. What makes Lestat so effing special, that Marius--who keeps EVERYONE at arms length--was suddenly welcoming this rando French blonde chaos demon with open arms; doing eff all to Les when he ran blabbing about TWMBK to the entire world?! Amadeo was the one Marius said he loved most, who he then kicked to the curb when Amadeo broke the rules/disappointed Marius, and never heard Boo! from him for the next 500 effing years! Why HIM and not ME, when you were MY everything?

Armand felt abandoned, and more than anything, he was TERRIFIED in BC, cuz just when Marimand were just starting to reconcile and get along again after a good 30+ years of tension post-reunion in QotD, Marius got kidnapped by the Big Bad Rhoshamandes, who'd already kidnapped the other people Lestat loved most: his son Viktor, his mom Gabrielle, & his Blood Spouse Louis. Armand was never kidnapped--Rhosh skipped right over him, and took Lestat's father-figure Marius. Armand was certain that if Lestat went after Rhosh he'd be killed, that he'd "vanish into the same darkness that has swallowed Louis and Marius." Armand panicked, cuz if Marius & Louis & Lestat were all dead, who would Armand have? What "imitation of purpose" would he have?

The Elders were actually SCARED for Armand in BC, afraid that he'd try to kill himself again (a la Memnoch).

Armand was speaking from a place of panic & pain, clinging to Lestat as his last life raft. Cuz Lestat always represented a type of hope & inspiration for Armand. All old AF vamps need someone who can help them "Make Contact With The Age" and learn about the modern world from--cuz vampires are mimics & hungry ghosts who parasitically feed off of others. (Louis is an extremely modern vampire, even in the books, who becomes the Contact for Lestat AND Armand.)

Armand DESPERATELY wanted Lestat to be his Contact, but Lestat ALWAYS rejected him, knowing Armand was just a bottomless pit that could never be fulfilled.

But Armand's a psychopath who loves the chase (a la Devil's Minion), so in a way, Lestat's rejections kept Armand pushing forward. Lestat wanted Armand to learn how to stand on his own 2 feet. Lestat loves Armand like a little brother, and cares about his well-being, and sees the potential in Armand because he IS a powerful coven master with nerves of steel--he has what it takes to lead, but he insists on following Lestat--the "Fool for God."

Amadeo ("Beloved of God") worshipped Marius; if Les had let him, Armand would've worshipped him, too. Cuz they're White Jesus.

God Complex Lestat believed that all vamps are gods in & of themselves; who shouldn't feel the need to worship anyone, God or the Devil. They should all live like him, devil-may-care, middle finger & fist to the sky. He's always been a FIGHTER. And if there's one thing Lestat doesn't like in a companion, it's a simp effing doormat who never does anything to stimulate or excite him; who just lies on their back & takes anything & everything the world throws at them--no challenge or fight whatsoever. Armand never stood a chance; just like Sam said: "they're not really compatible in that way."

Louis had BITE to him--"there's the spark!" but ironically, Lestat's oppressive domineering behavior contributed to all the factors that chipped away at Louis' confidence, till he was literally broken in Ep5. Lou's 2x8 speech that he's ready to reclaim his agency & autonomy is a step in the right direction for Loustat as a couple, as they both learn to respect each other's individualism, without Les tryna force Lou to be the type of vampire HE thought was best; allowing Louis to (re)grow into his skin & not think it's a personal rejection of him if Lou decided to not follow Les's every effing word about vamps (which would become CRUCIAL in PLatRoA)--and Lou learning to not be so condescending & judgemental against Les's hedonistic impulses.

There is no way for Armand to ever ingratiate himself to Lestat, when he's ALWAYS looked to Lestat to tell him how to act & live & dress & behave. Lestat wants a partner/parent to love, NOT a child to raise. Louis was a fledgling whom Les barely even managed to teach how to be a vampire--but Louis never relied on Lestat to teach him how to be his own person. Louis was never looking for Lestat to be his effing father. But Armand's literally an orphan child who's been looking for a father-figure to teach him how to be a person, ever since he was kidnapped & sold into slavery as a human; and Marius left the kind of hole in Armand that no one ever filled--not Louis, not Daniel, not Benji or Sybelle. But Lestat looked into that hole, pointed & laughed, and said fill it yourself, or die.

So thank frikkin god Sam brought all this up: the dynamic b/t Lesmand isn't REALLY about Lestat at all. It's about how deeply Armand's been affected by Marius being GOD to him, and how Armand's suffered from abandonment issues & PTSD--that I'd argue are even WORSE than Lestat's.

[bad-as-me]

Love without Compassion, Compassion without Love

Ok so I wanted to unpack this for a while, but it would be a whole thing to explain and, I'll be honest, the constant hostility from both camps towards the other made me hesitant to make a whole thing about this. But it's been over half a year since sote's release, and the heat has died down enough where I feel comfortable enough to dissect my thoughts as a fan of both of these guys.

tldr: I believe Mohg and Miquella's actions towards one another are meant to mirror each other, because they are inversions of each other's goals.

Full disclosure, this is a culmination of all my general headcanons and interpretations of these characters and their actions. Elden Ring is deliberately vague because it wants you to make up your own mind on what really happened, what matters most to you, things like that. I am not claiming I know the mind of Martin, Miyazaki, and Fromsoft, nor do I think that it would entirely matter if I did.

However, they are still trying to communicate a story with themes at the end of the day, and I find that there is a super common thread in this story around karmic retribution and characters mirroring the actions of another. Mohg and Morgott are an obvious one, as are Miquella and Marika.

But I feel that the intense scrutiny around who the "true victim" was between Mohg and Miquella is completely ignoring the fact that they kind of do unto each other more or less exactly what the other did to them. And I really don't believe that is a coincidence!

We knew in the base game that Mohg stole a sleeping Miquella from his cocoon in the Haligtree. We know he has a penchant for kidnapping people for his service, and that he intended to use Miquella's godhood as an offering to the Formless Mother in his pursuit of Lordship.

We also know the Mohgwyn dynasty is heavily coded in gothic romantic sensibilities. That as Varre tells us, Mohg intends to bless his followers with Love, even if that entails pain and suffering on their part. Mohg is in a lot of ways, a forever open wound: forsaken by his mother for his curse, he only seemed to find respite in the embrace of the outer god known as the Mother of Truth. I think, to Mohg, this idea of love as a painful endeavor is something he operates his entire situation around. He craves love, he craves it especially in maternal figures and people who are in so many aspects, a perfect reincarnation of his own mother. And the painful truth, to him, is that love can only be seized for yourself, and damned be what everyone else thinks of you.

But love is not a kind thing to him. It is a painful, bottomless hole that he is trying to fill for himself. This isn't his fault obviously, it's the result of centuries of abuse and neglect, but that is the fatal flaw of his design that makes him an enemy in our game. He wants a dynasty founded in Love, but without Compassion.

Then we have Miquella, a child of Marika who was surrounded by people who were suffering, but not particularly experiencing that suffering firsthand. He was cursed with eternal childhood, but he was incredibly gifted, and destined to succeed his mother in ascension to godhood. This is his fate, and he knows it's coming no matter what, but either out of a deep sense of care for his sister or just an innocent desire to make everything right, he sets out to make this happen in a way that will somehow fix everything, for everyone.

It's a bold ambition, to be sure. One might say it's a utopian ideal, an impossible ask in a world mired in war and conflict. But Miquella holds this with a deep conviction that could only be manifested in one with a childlike heart, who can't understand just how impossible his own desire really is. He knows of everything his mother accomplished, and in his mind, the only thing that really needs fixing is to just do it right this time.

I'll be honest and say, I don't think Mohg's kidnapping was initially a part of Miquella's plan. I think the track record he already has in seizing people for his own purposes (the albinaurics, the white masks, etc) is enough to believe that he would do it again, and I think it tracks with his general understanding that acceptance is not something that is given to someone like him- it is taken.

Plus, given the understanding that he was bewitched, I just don't like the idea of taking a choice of his that is so central to the events of the game that it is a part of the opening cutscene, and rendering it effectively powerless on Mohg's behalf. I can believe that Mohg's need for an Empyrean body for his goals, meshed with an unhealthy, obsessive need for love from his mother, would translate into jumping the gun and stealing Miquella when everyone is away at the wheel. Love, again, does not come to him out of Compassion, only through force. Unfortunately for him, Miquella is used to failed plans, and knows well how to shift gears and improvise.

Miquella's vow to Radahn happened when they were both fairly young, likely well before Mohg had ever set eye on the vision of a Dynasty in his name. Miquella, forever trapped in the same stage of his life, not only keeps this promise long after it's ever relevant, he incorporates it into his ultimate desire to make everything okay in his new Age.

For the sake of keeping this about only two major characters, I'll keep the Radahn custody situation brief, but in short, Miquella is put in a situation where his promised Lord needs a physical body. And as it so happens, there is a fresh one right in his hands. Someone who also desired for his hand, and the glory of Lordship, but was much too late to be considered for the part.

Miquella's age is one of Compassion. It is so devoted to the idea of endless Compassion, that all other parts of him are shed and made irrelevant. In this endless ambition, powered by centuries of failed plan after failed plan, he starts to forsake so much of himself that the line between "Person" and "Concept" start to blur. He abandons things that should never be forgotten for the sake of a dream. He abandons his Love.

I believe that, in an ill-guided attempt to solve every loose end and satisfy everyone involved, Miquella chose Mohg's body as a vessel out of a "compromise" for Mohg's desires. Radahn may be his destined consort, and Mohg's death may have been made inevitable. However, the wish to be loved and worshipped as Miquella's Lord would still be made his - in body, but not in soul.

Ansbach remarks on the grotesque ritual by saying that "I'm afraid Tender Miquella fails to grasp the humiliation implied by this act." And I am inclined to take him at his word here. Miquella can't understand how this "solution" is an abomination, because the part of him that could have known better is long gone. It is a choice made in Compassion, but not Love.

I hope all of this expresses how much I don't believe anyone in this story deserved their outcome. Rather, their choices are deliberately made to call back to one another. I really do enjoy both Mohg and Miquella as characters at the end of the day, because in so many ways they are mirrors of each other's flaws. Both of them had the intention of using the other's body as a vessel for their own ascension. Neither was right for doing so, but they also had their own reasons for deciding that was what had to be done.

You can't have Love without Compassion, nor Compassion without Love, and that is why they were both doomed to make the same cruel mistakes in their grasp for power.

[broidobe]

𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔱𝔲𝔡𝔢 𝔞𝔡𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱

requested by @rocketqueen1989x ! i am writing the other one you requested too!

☾a student struggles with their grades and attitude until their teacher, axl rose, offers a controversial form of "motivation," resulting in a tense, passionate encounter.☽

☾warnings: smut, teacher-student dynamic, swearing, power imbalance, THIS IS CONSENSUAL AND READER IS 18+ ☽

⁎⁺˳✧༚guns and roses masterlist

you sit in class, trying to focus on the lesson, but your mind keeps wandering. you've been struggling lately, and your grades have been slipping. you know you need to get your act together, but it's hard to care when everything seems so overwhelming.

as the class comes to a close, you start to pack up your things, ready to make a quick escape. but before you can make a move, axl rose, your teacher, speaks up. "you, stay behind," he says, his voice low and husky.

you feel a shiver run down your spine as you realize he's talking to you. you try to play it cool, but you can't help the flutter in your chest. you've had a crush on axl for what feels like forever, and now he's singling you out.

as the rest of the class files out, axl walks over to his desk and leans against it, his eyes fixed on you. "so, what's going on?" he asks, his voice firm but gentle. "your grades have been slipping, and i've noticed you've been having a bit of an attitude problem lately."

you feel a surge of defensiveness, but axl's calm demeanor puts you at ease. you try to explain, but he interrupts you, his voice taking on a slightly stern tone. "look, i know you're better than this. you're a smart kid, but you're not living up to your potential. and that attitude of yours? it's not going to get you very far."

you feel a spark of anger ignite within you, but before you can respond, axl continues. "but i think i know how to help you." his eyes seem to bore into your soul, and you feel a shiver run down your spine. "you see, sometimes, people just need a little… motivation. a little push in the right direction."

he pushes off from the desk and takes a step closer to you, his eyes locked on yours. you can feel the tension between you building, and you know exactly what he's suggesting. you try to play it cool, but your heart is racing, and your pulse is pounding in your ears.

"are you sure that's a good idea, mr. rose?" you ask, trying to sound calm, but your voice comes out husky and unsure.

axl's smile is slow and seductive. "oh, i'm positive," he says, his voice low and husky. "you see, i've found that when people are struggling, sometimes they just need to… release a little tension. and i'm happy to help you with that."

he takes another step closer, his eyes burning with intensity. you can feel the heat emanating from his body, and you know you're in trouble. but you can't help the way you feel, and as he reaches out and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, you know you're putty in his hands.

"let's get one thing straight," he says, his voice low and husky. "i'm not going to go easy on you just because you're struggling. but i am going to help you… in my own way."

he leans in, his lips brushing against your ear, and you feel a shiver run down your spine. "you're going to have to trust me," he whispers. "and you're going to have to do exactly as i say."

you feel a surge of excitement mixed with a little fear, but as you look into his eyes, you know you're ready to take the leap. you nod, barely able to speak, and axl's smile is all the encouragement you need.

as he pulls you into his arms, you know you're in for a wild ride. he spins you around, pushing you against the desk, and his hands move over your body, touching you in all the right places. he rips your shirt open, the buttons flying everywhere, and his lips crash down on yours, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth.

you feel a moan building in your throat as axl's hands move over your body, touching you in all the right places. he pushes your bra up, exposing your breasts, and his lips move down your neck, tracing a path of fire over your skin.

he spins you around, bending you over the desk, and his hands move to your pants, ripping them down your legs. you feel a rush of excitement as he exposes your ass, and his hands move over your skin, touching you in all the right places.

"let's get that attitude adjusted," he whispers, his breath hot against your skin.

you feel a surge of excitement as axl's fingers move over your pussy, touching you in all the right places. he pushes you down, his body pressing against yours, and you feel his erection straining against his pants.

he rips his pants open, his erection springing free, and you can't help but gasp at the sight of him. axl's eyes lock on yours, and he whispers, "i'm going to fuck that attitude right out of you."

and with that, he thrusts into you, his body moving against yours, and you feel a rush of pleasure. you're aware of nothing but the feeling of his body against yours, the sensation of his erection moving inside you.

he pounds into you, his body slamming against yours, and you feel yourself getting lost in the sensation. you're aware of nothing but the feeling of his body against yours, the sensation of his erection moving inside you.

as you cum, axl's lips crash down on yours, and you feel a rush of pleasure. you're aware of nothing but the feeling of his body against yours, the sensation of his erection moving inside you.

and as you collapse against him, exhausted, axl's smile is all the encouragement you need. you know you've been adjusted, and you can't help but wonder what other lessons axl has in store for you.

he pulls out of you, his erection still hard, and you feel a surge of excitement. he spins you around, pushing you against the wall, and his hands move over your body, touching you in all the right places.

"i'm not done with you yet," he whispers, his breath hot against your skin.

and with that, he thrusts into you again, his body moving against yours, and you feel a rush of pleasure. you're aware of nothing but the feeling of his body against yours, the sensation of his erection moving inside you.

you're trapped in a cycle of pleasure, unable to escape, and you know you're at axl's mercy. but you wouldn't have it any other way.

[fuzzyduckduckyfuzz]

after all this time I still found you Timebomb part 8

Summary- months after jinx’s “death” Ekko had gone into a spiral, making everyone around his worried. He can’t stop the feeling that maybe she’s still out there, and it’s only when he finally goes looking for her that his dream and nightmare comes true

warnings- hella angst, some fluffity fluff, uh oh curse words, also mentions of depression and alcohol abuse.

Once again, Ekko found himself literally sprinting through the undercity, manoeuvring his way through bustling streets as he ran towards the fire light base. He was happy he had finally opened this place up to the public, happy him and his allies didn’t have to make a difference in silence anymore. He smiled fondly as he remembered vi and Caitlyn’s reaction to the news.

flash back

“What?!?” Vi exclaimed jumping up from her chair.

Caitlyn grabbed her by the shirt and tugged her back down to sit, a warm smile on her lips

“that’s a lovely idea Ekko. Opening your services to the public” she says kindly

“damn right it’s a good idea!!” Vi explained. A proud grin on her face as she crossed her muscular arms over her chest “I’m proud of you little man…but how exactly are you guys gonna pull that off?”

“wellll…i was thinking…with your guises help?” He says, his voicing getting higher pitched as he goes on. He knows it’s a large ask especially after…everything. But this is something he new he couldn’t do without there help.

“oh! Well…” Caitlyn trails off, she shifts her gaze to vi and then to you. Vi looked at her with a pleading puppy look that made Ekko snicker, and Caitlyn told her eyes “fine fine…we can help you out Ekko” she says, a fond smile in her lips

vi jumps up again and pumps her fist in the air “Hell yeah!!” She pauses when she notices one of the maids of the kiramman estate looking at her. She was unaware she had even walked in.

vi clears her throat and sits back down, feigning a calm persona as she clears her throat. “Ahem.i mean, yes Ekko that sounds great”

the maid quickly walks away from the awkward situation and Caitlyn and vi burst out laughing, but at the back of Ellis mind all he can think is “jinx…powder, would’ve loved this”….

end of flash back

Ekko chuckles to himself at the memory, but quickly shakes his head. He can’t dwell on the past when he has such an important mission to take care of. He soon reaches the entrance to the base and sprints inside, passing by other firelights quick so they don’t try and start a conversation, stalling his plan.

he must have looked like a goddamn crazy person, practically tearing the base apart trying to find this stupid clue from jinx, with literally no explanation from him to the other people in the building. When he finally thinks he thought of the wrong goddamn place, he remembers. His room! He hasn’t checked his room!

He raced through the building, making a b line to his room. He practically kicks in the door as he enters and he immediately starts tearing his already disastrous room apart even more. He has to step over clothes and empty booze bottles as he frantically looks around. He glances in the direction of his bed and, he had to admit, his bed looked extra comfortable after being out since the last night and the sun now almost fully risen.

he was having no goddamn luck finding this clue. Non at all. He lets out a frustrated huff and slams his fist into the desk, causing the area and surfaces around it to vibrate, and guess what falls on his head in that very moment. You guess it! The fucking clue! He lets out an annoyed grumble as he picks up the tin monkey.

“this is getting old.” He mutters as he takes the piece of paper from the monkeys hands. He unfolds it and reads the next clue

“haza! Haza! You found the damned clue! The next one my friend is rather close to you. A friend of mine and yours both very close bonds, holds the next clue that defines the odds”

he reads it am immediately knows who this person is but isn’t any less confused. Vi? How? Was she in on this? Did she know jinx was alive??

he continued to ask questions in his mind when he glasses at the window and sees…a peak of blue hair from the other side…that was without a doubt jinxes hair.

“jinx?!” He cries, running over to the glass door. He frantically opens it but just as he does, her hair disappears out of sight. He looks around in absolutely every direction calling out her name…nothing.

“…I think I’m starting to go fucking crazy…”

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Chapter 9 His Side Story

Chapter 8

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

It didn't particularly mean anything.

Emma: Living God, what are you… doing…?

Azel: Do I have to explain everything to you? What on earth is inside that head of yours?

The woman, back in her skimpy harem outfit, coughed, so I pulled her arm and drew her in between my knees.

I hugged her from behind because I couldn't bear to see her goosebump-covered skin.

(I don't want to use these hands, but…)

Emma: A-Are you...warming me up because I'm cold...?

Azel: Yes, it's a paid service.

Emma: Then I'll pass!

I used my leg to pin down the woman who tried to slip from my grasp as soon as I hinted at money.

Our bodies pressed closer together, and I unconsciously caught my breath at the sensation, different from what I had imagined.

(...I didn't know you were this soft.)

(Are all women like this? This feels good— No.)

(No, what am I thinking?)

Azel: You're cold, aren't you?

Emma: I am cold… but…

Azel: Then give up some of your money.

Emma: Your idea of "some" and my idea of "some" are different!

Emma: Besides, this isn't a normal amount of distance!

Azel: Huh? A normal distance?

Emma: People who are just acquaintances don't do this sort of thing.

Azel: Is that so?

(Then how do people in general keep warm without a blanket or anything to wear on top?)

The woman turned sideways and looked up at me.

When I maintained an indifferent attitude, she fell silent for some reason.

As if to say that the God who had shown mercy was the strange one....

Emma: ...Yes, it is. I think most people would misunderstand.

Azel: Why?

Emma: ...Eh, why?

Azel: I just took the simplest and most efficient method.

(There's no way she could misunderstand.)

(Rather, if she misunderstands this, it's stretching it too far.)

Emma: You're...strange, Prince Azel.

Azel: Is that sarcasm?

Emma: No, it's not...

Emma: You say "it would be troublesome if you fell in love with me," yet you have a strange sense of distance...

Emma: I'm surprised because you do a lot of things that people normally wouldn't do.

(...)

(Certainly, people normally wouldn't.)

At the very least, if it were anyone else in front of me, I wouldn't care if they were cold or whatever.

Normally, I would just leave them alone and not show any mercy.

Even if I were paid, I would be reluctant to take them into my arms.

Yet, for some reason, I didn't feel any discomfort with this woman.

(...I'm just losing my mind.)

*flashback*

Emma: ...That's not very fair.

Emma: The Living God answers the prayers of the people, but the prayers of the Living God do not reach the people.

Emma: Then I wondered who would help the Living God...

Emma: When I thought about it like that, I realized that I was the only one who could do it, so I couldn't bring myself to blame you.

*flashback over*

(It was unusual.)

(A woman who tries to help a God, instead of praying to one.)

At that moment, I couldn't think of anything witty to say.

I only remember the strange feeling that my heartbeat had quickened a little.

Azel: ...Because I'm a God.

I was hesitant to put those reasons into words, so I gave the most banal excuse.

Emma: No wonder you're so out of touch with the world—

Emma: Ow, ow, ow!

Azel: After all, that was sarcasm about me being naïve, wasn't it? You've got guts.

I pinched her cheek mercilessly. Her soft cheeks, unlike my own, were somehow addictive.

Azel: How much should I charge you for compensation?

When I threatened her, the woman shook her head and curled up in my arms.

(I admit it wasn't normal.)

(But it couldn't be helped. There was no other way.)

Azel: –...I just did it because you looked cold.

Silence filled the air.

She was usually boisterous, but at times like this, she would always clam up.

(This is incredibly awkward...)

The woman's ears were turning red.

Watching her, I felt as if it was contagious.

(...Damn it, I'm getting hot too.)

(...I need to change the subject...)

Azel: The aphrodisiac...

Emma: What is it now!?

Azel: Why are you snapping at me?

Emma: I'm not snapping. I'm just renewing my determination to get used to your eccentricities, Living God.

Azel: Whatever, it seems the effects have worn off.

Emma: Ah, you're right. When did that happen...?

Azel: That was careless. I was almost attacked.

Emma: Even if a natural disaster occurred, I wouldn't attack you, so please rest assured.

Azel: That's debatable.

Emma: Did you know? In the real world, that's called being conceited—

Emma: Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Azel: Your mouth is in top form today, isn't it? I look forward to your additional payment.

Emma: I'm so-rry!

(She's got quite the mouth on her...)

(...It somehow irks me that you wouldn't attack me.)

(No, it's not that I want to be attacked.)

(...What is this unpleasant feeling that's been going on since earlier?)

I pinched her cheek and turned away.

I didn't feel like I could look directly at her.

(Damn...why do I have to go through this?)

.

.

.

Chapter 10

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[littlemissmentallyunstable]

my apology

you may have noticed my requests have been closed for a little while now and that was mainly because the amount of requests I was getting were a little overwhelming and I felt as if I had no time to write them. I’m a bit of a people-pleaser in a way that I felt I wasn’t delivering these requests quickly enough or well enough then I would upset someone and I didn’t want to do that

so recently I’ve been working towards the goal of completing my list and so far it has been going well, the ideas have been flowing and I’ve been writing a lot but because I know winter holidays are coming to a close and I will be back at school, I know there may not be a lot of time for me to write.

unfortunately I’ve had to make the decision to cut some fics that I’d originally planned to write. it is mostly part 2 requests of really old fics such as ‘crazy little thing called love’ or ‘paparazzi’ and there are a few others as well. personally I think I’m moving on with my writing and developing and don’t want to keep going back to those old fics. this excludes ‘the mysterious blonde’ and ‘the dancer and the angel’ which will soon both make returns…

I do see all of your asks, about those two fics in particular, I am not ignoring you at all but I can’t really give timeframes for anything because I don’t know when I’ll have time to write and then edit everything!!

there are a few other requests that I cannot complete sadly. one was asking for quite mature content in the terms of a TW!! su!c!de based scene which I am not comfortable with writing. if the person who requested that is reading this, I don’t want you to feel bad at all because I did have the intention of writing but I have more recently decided against it for personal reasons, this is NOT because I have been affected or triggered by the request, don’t worry!!

and the second I had to give up was a request that asked for an f1 fic. I literally have no knowledge on f1 and would probably end up offending someone if I vaguely attempted to write a fic that included that, so I am very sorry to let that one go.

I didn’t just want to delete the asks and never address why your requests never got answered so I thought I’d make a post to explain it all. I know this will disappoint some people and I’m so sorry 💖💖 hopefully if you request again in the future I will be able to fulfill what you would like!! I am open to most things, but of course there are a few exceptions.

if I haven’t mentioned a request here ^^ it probably means it is still going to be written!!

I’m also looking forward to exploring new characters such as characters from the naturals series or shatter me or powerless, this is not to say I won’t be writing for the inheritance games because of course I will, it’s just to put it out there that although I am striving to meet requests, it may not be immediate.

this post is NOT to make anyone feel bad for requesting. I am so so grateful for everyone who had put in a request and thought that they would want me to create something that they would enjoy. I also want to thank everyone for their patience and support with my work, it means the world to me. when I complete the request list I have now, I will re-open the request box but as of the moment it will remain closed!!

lots and lots and lots of love,

bella 🤍

[sophia-tuttle]

Sophia sat back into the chair, hand running through her hair as she listened to Georgette explain how she saw couples. In a way she was right, Sophia had seen it many times herself, especially in the bakery. The wives where always the one running around making sure everything was sorted and ordered, where the husbands, well most the time they'd leave it till the last minutes and be in a mass panic.

She was correct though, was really was love? Even Sophia, wasn't so sure on that one. "I guess you're right, there does seem to be a lot of looking after. However, if that was ever the case for me, they'd be shown the door." she paused for a moment, finishing off the last of her cake and hot chocolate.

"I spent way too much of my childhood caring for others, I mean most where just kids themselves too but there is no way I am going to go back to that. Whoever I end up with, if i do. Then they'll need to be able to care for themselves."

"That you are" she agreed, jokingly. "But I wouldn't change you for the world, I adore you just the way you are. If anyone tried to change that, I'd be their ass" she laughed. "Look, whoever you end up with, when that happens, it'll be the right person. The one and only that can handle the bitch within."

"Oh, my dear little Sophia. Have you ever sat back and really watched couples? I guess there's a positive about being a wallflower. I see people. And people do need to be watered like a plant. It's sad really. Relying on someone else for so much. Why not just make things happen for yourself? Wouldn't that be easier?" It was a bit lonely but Georgette had her store, she had her wands, she had her mind and books and notebooks with notes about wands she wanted to create. She didn't have many people in her life but she had plenty to keep her happy. "What's love anyway? Not like I've ever really known it so why start now?" The eternal pessimist.

"I'm glad you're not to be set up with a marriage. Find someone for yourself. I'm positive you'll find someone wonderful. And if you don't then I'll have to cause hell because there's no way anyone unworthy is going to be with my best friend," she took a stern sip of her hot chocolate as if to emphasize the statement.

Georgette couldn't help but laugh. "Well, if you have any ideas about who I should be with speak now or forever hold your peace. I'm a handful and a right bitch." She paused for a moment. "So, any ideas?"