#by the way I've got three chapters written just got to code

[softlyopulent-if]

Hey guys I know I'm breaking radio silence here but I’m wondering about something! If I were to want say a feature where characters would comment on the roles of the MC how would you prefer I went about this? Say if the MC could have children people would comment and say that’s what's expected blah blah and if they couldn't yada yada and for those who chose nonbinary they could make a choice that would check that on or off or is this something you guys wouldn't be interested in

[princesscolumbia]

Ranma 1/2 Thoughts, Meta Edition

I have consumed...a lot of Ranma 1/2 content.

I mean, this is kinda what happens when you're a repressed transgirl who discovers the manga a year into a marriage that you got into to "fix" being trans and be "a real boy" in a desperate bid to fill the hole that you wouldn't learn for two decades could only be filled by living as your true self.

I've encountered precisely four (4) types of Ranma 1/2 fans in that time:

Transwomen who see Ranma as their idealized expression of the gender experience ("I'm not like this because I want to be, it's a curse. A curse that gives me a smokin' hot body and HUGE tits! But it's tooootally a curse, for realsies! I'll find a cure any day now, see how hard I'm looking? I'm trying sooooo hard to find a cure...")

Transmen who see Ranma as their perfect representation of their gender experience ("I'm a guy, damnit! This body...it's a curse! I hate it and I want nothing better than to be cured, but all sorts of Life Bullshit keeps getting in the way!")

Lesbians who kin either Ranma (butch NB lesbian) or one of their love interests (Akane - comphet closetted butch lesbian, Shampoo - Strong, smokin' hot bad bitch who goes after what she wants, Ukyo - transmasc coded genderfluid NB)

Completely clueless nimrods who miss the FUCKING POINT and are only into the show for the martial arts and think it would be better if Ranma got cured and they stopped having funny stuff happen.

(In case it's not obvious, IMHO the last group are the worst parts of the fandom and need to Go Away. Most of the toxic stuff that exists in R.5 fanspaces is because of this group of assholes which includes the incels that think everything would be better if Ranma just did stuff that's questionable from an ethics and morality perspective and chased after Shampoo because she's the closest thing to a Barbie-doll these closet fascists can allow themselves to fantasize about playing with, completely ignoring that she's a complex character that's a subversive pastiche to the Japanese racist stereotypes of the 1980s.)

I'm not kidding when I say that in the early days of the public Internet (before Facebook and Twitter ruined it for everyone), Ranma 1/2 was the SINGLE largest fandom by a MASSIVE stretch. I once checked my math on this by going to Fanfiction.net (before the massive purges) and brought up the Big List of All Fandoms and right there at the top with a MASSIVE number of fics was Ranma 1/2 by a HUGE margin. It took three fandoms (Star Trek, Doctor Who, and I believe Naruto if I'm recalling correctly) to have their combined total number of fics exceed the number of R.5 fics on FF.net...and that was JUST FF.net. There was an entire separate index (The Penultimate Ranma 1/2 Fanfic Index) that had the single task of listing, not even curating or reading or reviewing, ONLY Ranma 1/2 fanfics. Not fanart, not commentary, no RP blogs or chat transcripts or whatever, JUST fanfics. And only about half of those linked to FF.net, meaning that if you dig up the archives you'll find at least 60% of all fanfics that people had managed to index in the Ranma 1/2 fandom are missing because they were never properly archived and just...faded from the Internet as the public servers and places like Geocities started disappearing. You can find teasing, tantalizing hints of larger works that all we have left, like scraps of ancient papyri revealing a quote from a missing book of the Bible, are single chapters backed up on niche sites that managed to get spider-crawled by Archive.org, but many great works are just...lost. (There's an ero fic called "Playing with Water" that was SUPER hot and featured elements that we have tags for on porn sites but didn't really have proper words for back in the day...but even back when it was first being written finding the thing was hard...and today? Nearly impossible.)

(If you wonder why I'm such an absolute RABID advocate of AO3, this is why)

For me, Ranma will always be the transfemme coded genderfluid hero that we needed in the late 80s and early 90s. We were on the tail end of the AIDS pandemic, and just like COVID-19 there were a bunch of assholes who used it to ride to power and marginalize queer folk. It was easier to do with AIDS, of course, given the absolutely massive numbers of queer cis men and transwomen who contracted it and died. (Sidebar: the reason "L" comes first in "LGBTQIA+" is because it was the Lesbian nurses who were the caretakers of the Gay men who were dying in numbers large enough to be counted as a tragic statistic instead of a mere tragedy) and while the world was starting to acknowledge (again) that gay men was a thing that existed and they weren't actually trying to corrupt the youth, what we now call "transgender" was still listed in the DSM as a mental disorder that required treatment to "cure." According to the cultural majority in damn near every field you can imagine, the Gender Binary was the only way to exist and if you didn't fit neatly into one or the other then you were Damaged™ and had to be Fixed™ for The Good of All People™ (but specifically so cis-het-white folks, usually men, could feel comfy and not be confronted by things that made them feel icky and might have cooties). It's a truism that's treated as a joke that transwomen get into coding and wind up doing IT work in such massive numbers that between us and the furries we ARE the foundation of the modern Internet. And into the fanspaces packed to the brim with closetted AMAB transwomen who hadn't yet had their egg cracked came this plucky martial artist that gets to swap their gender with a splash of water but somehow still winds up the best of the best, the finest martial artist of their generation. (Goku can suck it, Ranma would turn the Kamea-meha right back on the over-muscled, braindead loser with a food fetish and still make it home in time for Kasumi's dinner)

I'm no sociologist, anthropologist, behaviorist, whatever, but I suspect that the reason Ranma Saotome spawned such a large fanbase so early in the modern Internet's history was specifically because the series created a safe space where people could talk about gender issues with a degree of separation that helped strip away the stigma surrounding feeling like you were in the wrong body.

I get why people like the martial arts aspect. I mean, Ranma kills a demigod. This is NOT something to sneeze at. I also understand the transmen who latch onto Ranma as a kin because I get the feeling like you have no control over what your body's doing and you're going through your days in existential dread of what might be dragging you further and further away from what you always knew was right and correct about yourself. It's a terrifying thing and here's someone who (esp. the anime version) IS a guy trapped in a girl's body.

For me, though, and for a LOT of transwomen out there, Ranma is transfemme. And, yes, canonically Ranma states right near the end of the manga that they're both and they kinda forgot about the 'cure' when they had to pick between that and the really important stuff and that they're okay with being fluid ('cause water, gettit?!) about their gender and it's a damn shame this was the 80s 'cause a continuation might wind up showing Ranma embracing being both...

BUT, and this is a transfemme thing, I know, if you continue the parabolic arc of Ranma's character development, the logical conclusion (for us) is that she eventually decides that she's a woman and just lives in her "cursed" form the majority (or all) of the time.

And yes, this is because that's the transfemme story arc. In the manga in some distant part of the multiverse that peers into our universe and for some reason decides to make me the MC (god, that must be a FUCKING BORING manga by our standards, I weep for those fans), my story arc is the gradual progression of uncracked, closetted transgirl to transitioned out and proud transbien mom. At one point I swapped back and forth between gender presentations because it was safer for me to appear in some spaces as the male that they thought I was. Now I would prefer to die before being forced to go back to pretending to be a man again.

Ranma has the choice, and good for them. Until the Kaisufuu is permanently destroyed, even if the "curse" is locked, they have the option of going one way or the other based solely on their own, personal desire. I can't say I'd be comfortable with that option being available. In that theoretical manga where there's a reboot that gives me a condition like Ranma's, I'd probably wind up destroying the equivalent to the Kaisufuu just because of the threat to my mental wellbeing it presents.

So it's not a stretch to imagine Ranma making the same choice. She's a woman now, she has the life she never realized she wanted because she never had the choice so didn't know she was allowed to imagine it, but now she's happier than ever and why would she ever go back to that struggle of being a guy that only ever brought her pain and challenges and heartache?

[ladysomething]

rushed back home. pretty sure I broke like 7 different basic driving rules from the driver manual in my country that even kids are aware of. also my best friend says he's never letting me drive ever again. he also says you're kinda a mastermind. I may not have a driver license for tomorrow, or a car to drive, but I do have new hatred and also a new level of crush (ness? English-is-not-my-first-language moment) for Max Verstappen. and my brother as well. he also pleged alliance and eternal honor to you, Madds.

5+1!!!!

1. honestly Charles, I get you. cramps are how some criminals should be punished. make them suffer for their wrongs. make them regret ever living. make them feel pain for comitting their crime. (says the lawyer. at this rate, for tomorrow I will loose not one but TWO licenses. who cares)

2. as stated beforehand, the Max crush that you've been cooking in me with this fic is absolutely massive. gigantic. astronomical. and let me tell you something. Max taking care of Charles during his pre-heat melted me. my ex boyfriends should learn from him, because that's the bare minimum and yet they didn't do shit. and Charles here has this lovely dumb idiot (affectionate) while he hates him. honestly goals. where do I buy one.

3. I kinda understand why Max distanced himself from Charles. sorta. actually barely. but the guilt trip that my man has to be going through has to be though. what reminds me

4. FUCK MATTHEW AND FUCK LANDO AND FUCK THE DOCTOR WHOSE NAME IS NOT WORTH OF ME TO REMEMBER. oh and FUCK FERRARI AND FUCK MCLAREN AND FUCK EVERYONE. GO TO HELL PIECES OF SHIT. yeah, that's it I think. my poor baby Charlie (IBEIDNDOSNDLSBDOWHEODIAJS I went batshit with that. just so you know. worried Max might be my favorite Max. maybe slightly behind horny, protective and obedient Max) did NOT deserve that and everyone should rot in the darkest pit of hell for that. no less. cramps for you all.

5. we love Jean-Luc in this house. that was the resolution the three of us got to. my man deserves a cold pillow on both sides, a cup of tea and the chance to see his family anytime and to be happy forever. please don't make me hate him, I love him too much.

+1. if you've told me at the beginning of the year that I would be eating dinner with both my brother and my roomie while we were reading a quite explicit Lestappen omega verse fi in TV, no less, I would've not only not believed you. but died of shame or something like that. my yearly choice of a dead dove do not eat fic (I've been learning about tags!!!) has united this household. who would have thought that.

+2. Max is down BAD. but you know what, so is Charles. they really are exactly like the other. when Charles said that he was feeling lonely all I could think of is how Max said the exact same. and the hospital part had me kicking my feet, jumping around excitedly. then I alarmedly had to go all the way up to see in which chapter we were. and after, I just felt scared. chapter 16 is my worst nightmare it seems. how funny.

+3. hun, how has been your hand? I hope you're feeling better 🩷 as much as I love weekly uptades I can't help but feel worried that you might push your hand a lot. the chapter was absolutely lovely but remember to rest please 🙏🏼 speaking on my behalf and the other two readers' (and I hope everyone else's) we don't want you to be hurt, regardless of the fic.

thank you for the early uptade, even if now I'm a reckless driver to my country's police. at least I didn't read it while I was working. I don't know how I could've managed that.

I will take eternal allegiance wherever I can get it. I am making men kneel before me, one at a time, and so I'm glad to add two more to my collection.

cramps as a form of punishment .... you get it.

no because that whole heat sequence with Max .. melted me. he's so written by a woman coded in this fic (which you'd hope. considering he is. lmao)

he's hurt!!! he's sad!!! Max is going through a phase right now ok

the doctors name is Leo, and funnily enough Charles got Leo the same week that chapter came out and I was like ... Charles reads wygig confirmed

THIS IS A JEAN-LUC STAN ACCOUNT and honestly????? I love that you all love him. maybe he should get his own fic one day. who knows.

+1. the war being over because you've bonded over the lestappen war .... there's something so cosmic about that.

+2. everyone being on the edge of their seats for 16 ... god I'm good.

+3. thank you for the well wishes! it's wayyyyy better now, thank god.

p.s. I think maybe your brother and your roommate would riot if you read it at work without them sooooo

[xwyndx]

20 Questions for Writers!

I wasn't tagged but I wanted to do it. Also, TW: mentions of smut.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 12 on my main account and 2 on my alt account. 

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

Around 124k, oh my god. I didn't realize how much I wrote, that's amazing.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I had a really strong hyperfixation with Super Mario and like half my fics are from that fandom. I also have some Spideypool published and some more on my wips. And, lastly, not a fandom but I like publishing original works a lot. 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A prince to forget a princess (Explicit)

When kidnapping goes very very right (Explicit)

Mario & Luigi: Bodyswap Adventure

Me, myself and Deadpool

So obvious

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, I love doing it! Sometimes anxiety gets in the way and I stop replying, but I usually reply.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't do angst. 

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of my fics have happy endings! 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I got like three comments over the course of two years or so, so not bad. I always remember the one who said I was a poser because my wordbuilding on my horny bowuigi fic wasn't good. I was like bro this is porn lol. 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I find it so much fun. I usually go for fantasy settings because that gives me an easy excuse to ignore logic or even safety (nothing bad can happen because ✨magic✨). Also I just like fantasy.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, but not because I don't like them, crossover ideas just don't come to mind idk. I wrote one very long ago, it was so fun, but I stopped at chapter 3 hahaha. It was for Code Lyoko and a cartoon no one even knows about called Magi-Nation that had me obsessed. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think not. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!!! It was so fucking awesome!!! I still smile when remembering it, it's so cool.

(This is the fic and this is the translation.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't. I feel like writing is too personal for me, I wouldn't be able to do this. 

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Spideypool!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

It's obviously A prince to forget a princess. My god, I really got obsessed with bowuigi and then the obsession just faded and I lost all my motivation to write that, but I don't want to have unfinished works asadkfjahkjd

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think humor is my thing. I like writing fun stuff, something to put a smile on people's faces and I've been told by people who read me that they laughed, and that's cool. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Following a fucking schedule. Seriously, either I completely obsess with something and write 4 chapters in one day or I lose interest and leave it at chapter 2. And you'd think, well, then post the 4 chapters across two weeks. But no, I have them, so I want to post them! Ugh, I'm annoying.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends. If it makes sense, like someone is speaking English but then turn to someone else and change languages for whatever reason, that's cool. But if they're supposed to be speaking the other language and suddenly there's an amigo or an onii-chan or something like that I scream. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think Pokemon. But I didn't post it, I didn't even write it on a computer, I wrote on a notebook. I was like 10.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Mmmm tough question but I think my favorite is Me, myself and Deadpool. But it might be because I'm on board of the Spideypool ship right now, and might change when I obsess with something else.

That's everything!! Feel free to copy this if you want to answer it. You can consider yourself tagged by me if you want!

[thelongestway]

Writing heists is hard, haha! Especially while trying to troubleshoot a computer you haven't seen in a while. :P At least that gives you a lot of wait time.

But there we go - and yeah, no way this is 12 chapters. 14 or 15, so about the same size as the last story. Gonna do an actual word count when I get everything set up again.

Chapter 11

SecUnit

On the second jump to Parallax, the Friend went under for an operation that would allow Dandelion to decide what to redact from its memory. (When it learned I would be going with it onto the station it asked if I would be erasing my memory, too. I told it to fuck off with that idea. It looked at me in a way that reminded me of my first meeting with Dandelion. Dumbass judgmental research transport and her dumbass judgmental human.)

Iceblink, the only one of the human Trellians to work with us in the feed, asked the Friend, How does that even work? To go on a mission when you have no idea what you're even defending?

This Friend remembers the circumstances around the operation and that it chose to allow your bot pilot to work on itself. It knows it has decided that the mission is important enough to not risk leaving the erasure to automated mechanisms upon imminent death. It is fine with that.

ew. She said to me on a private channel. i could never trust that, could you, SecUnit. like if they erased my memory and i could only remember i was fine with it i could not trust that.

If someone could erase your memory like that, they normally wouldn't let you remember anything at all. They just use a real governor module to tell you what to do.

I sent her the schemas (with most of the critical details of implementation redacted).

oh wow you people really are living preneek horror movies. ok fuck this. (you are bringing the Friend back alive tho, right? tell me you're not going to just leave it to a heroic last stand or something)

I don't let my clients do heroic last stands.

Technically, my client was Dandelion, and the Friend was her client, and I had explicit instructions under which the Friend turned into a target, which was the weirdest arrangement I've had so far as a security consultant choosing its own contracts. But Iceblink seemed satisfied.

Then the wormhole exit notification rang out across the ship. Dandelion transferred the Friend's feed leash to me, and we disembarked onto a shuttle that the Friend had also spoofed. We stayed dark for about a cycle, going over the station plan and our various strategies, code words and lines. I got through about half a season of Found. The Friend listened to music as it checked its equipment again and again. (It mostly liked instrumentals with chorals). When Dandelion, now a private yacht called "Lessel's Rays", came back from the wormhole, we started moving slowly. As soon as we reached the station's feed radius, I tapped the line to S-Sec. It was finally go time.

"Parallax Station Security, this is Ivlic Lesert, junior security officer for the transport Silverwing One. We had a stow-away that tried to take the ship. Requesting to rent a holding cell for three days and a search for any active warrants for one Atmir Ran, biometric data attached."

S-Sec confirmed receipt of message and then presumably ran its checks. Then they said suspiciously:

"S.O. Lesert, didn't Silverwing One leave a cycle ago? How slow is that shuttle?"

"Fast enough. According to our intel, this asshole might have friends on Parallax, so I was trying to draw them out. No luck, so now I just want the bounty if there is one and a drink." (This one was the Friend's idea. "Make them think you just want to get it over with; make them think all you want is the next dose." Humans and mind-altering substances, ugh.)

"S.O. Lesert, you can proceed to private ring 3, docking bay 5. An escort will meet you there."

The worst part about this plan was having to talk with human security while they processed the Friend. The Friend had written most of the lines, and its feed leash doubled as an encrypted comms channel, so it could shadow the conversation when the leash was activated. It insisted on keeping some of the least realistic elements that I had initially flagged at superfluous, and it worked. Station security was entertained. They were even more entertained when the Friend swore at them from behind holding cell bars, deploying increasingly improbable sex acts and genitalia combinations, and got shocked for its trouble.

Security informed us pretty quickly that BreharWallHan had a warrant that matched the Friend's description, so I could start an open search for details in the background. BreharWallHan had a small representative office here, as well as a corporate hotel, part of which had shittier accomodations, stricter security and doubled as barracks for workers on their way to places. I got the floor plans, worked in a code word so that the Friend knew to throw itself against the cell bars again, and activated the feed leash, piggybacking the plans onto the control signal.

The BreharWallHan agent came, and we negotiated for the bounty with stock dialogue that made me feel even more like I was in some kind of stupid serial. But we managed to drag the whole thing out to a time frame where Dandelion and Iceblink were either doing their part of the hack or were not, and then I released the Friend into their custody.

"The feed leash is time-locked," I said as the agent locked huge electronic manacles on the Friend's arms and legs. "It'll hold another 24 hours. Consider it a premium serivce guarantee."

The agent smiled at me and batted her eyelashes in a way that made my organic parts crawl.

"So if anything goes wrong, we can contact you about it, S.O.?"

I knew the line. It was, Ivlic, sir/maam/ker/ser. For you, it's Ivlic.

I said, "No. I will be getting drunk in my hotel room. The leash will hold."

"Ah well," the agent said, unbothered. "That fee should be enough for some excellent stuff. Enjoy your rest, S.O., and thank you for excellent work."

So that was just what I did. I found a cheap hotel room, ordered some of the swill that had the crappiest side effects on humans, and sequestered myself in the room. Then I hacked the hotel's feed, spread the swill all over the floor and giant bed, with a splash on the view screen for good measure (even though it was a nice view screen. For a cheap hotel room), changed my visual presentation and walked out to hack the BreharWallHan barracks from the outside. Thanks to the malware in my leash, the Friend should have been free of the manacles and doing the same from its cell. We'd agreed that whoever got to the walled garden feed first would take it out.

When we met in the middle as planned, and with no alarms raised (this was a very shitty little representative office), I thought that for once things had gone as planned. For about 0,2 seconds.

And then five other prisoners filed out from around the corner, looking terrified.

[pebblysand]

hello! how annoyed i am that this wouldn't fit all into one post 🙄. this is part 2 of the castles playlist commentary.

<LINK TO PART ONE> <LINK TO PART THREE>

.

Formidable by La Bronze (Stromae cover): god, do i love this song. and god do i love this cover almost more than the original. i love how she made it less sad and more angry with the more rock-like music, as well as the sound of arabic. it works So Fucking Well. the chorus of this song sort of says it: we were incredible.

The Kid I Used to Know by Arrested Youth: just one of those songs i used to listen to on loop while writing/planning that arc of castles. i do think of this time in this fic as the formal end of harry's childhood, when he finds out about ginny and realises that all their innocence has gone. so long to the kid i used to know.

Hold On by Ren: i feel like there's such a restlessness in this chapter that you also find in this song. this sort of endless torrent of stuff coming harry's way, and him trying to... get through it and hold on.

Blind Leading The Blind by Mumford & Sons: i had originally put this one in for chapter nine, but i actually think it's more of a chapter ten song. welcome to the trials, aka the epitome of the blind leading the blind.

Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High? by Arctic Monkeys: ah. were you also a teen in the early 2010s? welcome to the song. obviously - very harry & ginny in this chapter.

Falling Is Like This by Ani DiFranco: i've always adored this song ever since i discovered it referenced in another fic. it's where i got the idea of the car running off a cliff in last chapter - it's also very heavily referenced in this chapter. think of it like a transition song lol. just such a Mia mood. falling is like this.

Je suis un homme by Zazie: i was looking for a song this morning to operate the transition between falling is like this and the kids are all rebels, and i settled on this one. judge me all you want but i love zazie, and i think this works quite well with the beginning section of this chapter that is a little bit like the song: humans and their institutions going round in circles.

The Kids Are All Rebels by Lenii: i loooove lenii. she's irish (🇮🇪🥳) and this song is such a DA song. there's this dimension of youthful idealism hitting the brick wall of adulthood, and the things they see the government do which they're not happy with. the song itself was written about trump's covid policies, but it fits so well here too!

Anthem by YOKANA & Barns Courtney: i think this is self-explanatory. harry is starting to doubt his "no comment" strategy...

Statues by Alexandre Desplat: we're... starting a new war in courtrooms, aren't we? jokes aside, it's probably my favourite music from the films, very war-coded, it makes me want to rise up to battle, so.

Remember the Name by Fort Minor & Styles of Beyond: there's something about the relentless rhythm of this song that i just love for the end of this chapter. like: LET'S GOOO!

Legendary by Welshly Arms: i see this as the DA's song, too, you know? not just harry. they're all doing something legendary.

Till I Collapse by Eminem: this is one of my favourite eminem songs, and i think it fits really well with the beginning of this chapter. the onslaught of press coverage regarding harry's and the DA's actions, and their common desire to push through no matter what.

Instant Crush (feat. Julian Casablancas) by Daft Punk: i actually wanted to put da funk in this playlist (which is the song mentioned in the fic) but i chose not to subject you all to five minutes of lyric-less late-naughties techno music 🤣. i also feel like putting this right after Till I Collapse is a bit of an insult to eminem ("you don't know me, you're too old, let go - it's over, nobody listens to techno" 😅), which is a bit funny lol.

Teenage Culture by SKYLAR: it's funny, i listened to this song on loop the summer of 2023 but didn't really find an excuse to add the song to the castles playlist until it finally hit me now that it was per-fect for this chapter. i love skylar and i love this song, it's so tongue-in-cheek and yet lyrically incredibly clever. i think this is such a teenage anthem and fits so well for this chapter, both in the "partying" side of it, but also in a the-kids-are-all-rebels sort of way. i just absolutely love it.

Everyone's at It by Lily Allen: i've just realised this is the first lily allen song in this entire playlist which, if you know me and how much of a lily allen stan i am, is wild. i stole some of the lyrics of this song for the chapter; it's about the double-standards that exist in dealing with drug addiction, which ginny talks about a bit. it's a song that was very important in opening my young eyes on this topic, when i was a teenager. i feel like it also goes so well with the SKYLAR song, it's like the millenial-advocate-y song to SKYLAR's gen z, more apathetic/don't-care take.

all the good girls go to hell by Billie Eilish: i have a very strange relationship with Billie Eilish's music where i listen to her only for very specific occasions and moods, but i do love that song. and, idk, i kind of see it as a symptom of ginny's slight "descent" in this chapter, where under the surface, partying and sleeping around begins to be less "fun" than it used to be. there's something weirdly haunting about Billie Eilish's music (esp the first album, that i feel fits here).

Any Other World by Mika: i added this song to the playlist rather recently but if you are a the good wife fan, it will of course sound familiar. i think i was looking for a song to finish off this chapter and recently was lucky enough to see Mika play live in dublin, and thought it just fit. it's neither really a love song nor a political song, it's a third thing, and i think it's really symbolic of the conclusion you reach at the end of this chapter of "say goodbye to the world you live in". i think this chapter is really the point of no return, this sort of deep realisation that nothing will be the same anymore. it's also the halfway point of the fic (in terms of chapters), so i reckon it works.

Un peu d'espoir by Joyce Jonathan: i relistened to this song recently and i think it really suits the beginning of the chapter. there's a growing up vibe to it and, nostalgia, sadness and hope at the same time. i really see it playing in that time where harry reflects on the upcoming anniversary of the war and where he and ginny talk about the aftermath.

Dance Monkey by Tones and I (Stripped Back): okay. i know this is a bold choice but let me explain. basically: i was working on completing the playlist and was looking for a song for the end of the trials, draco's hearing and all the politics in this chapter. i looked up my top songs of 2022 (which is when this chapter was written) and found out i actually listened to this song quite a lot that year (the original version of it). and yes, this is a dance song, but when you look at the lyrics, there's a vibe of, like, the establishment and the wider world forcing you to do something you don't really want to do? like, sure, here, this is a woman who's being told, basically "why don't you dance/smile more" but i think this is also applicable to harry and his relationship with the press and the wizarding world in general. there is a dimension in it of "dance monkey! dance!" where he's just like - not feeling it. this is the chapter where he rebels, too, and actually doesn't stick to the script, and pushes the wizarding world to change, and we love that for him. i chose the stripped back version for the playlist, because i feel it just fits the mood more than the dance version of this song.

bad guy by Billie Eilish: ugh. do i need to explain? i mean, harry, come on. stop toying with two girls at the same time.

Bad Habits by Ed Sheeran: a bit the same as the above. my bad habits lead to you - you can't quite let ginny go, can't you?

Arcade by Duncan Laurence: if you were on tiktok in the golden age of dracotok, this song will need no introduction. i don't even think the lyrics fit but i now have such a strong association between draco malfoy and this song, it needed to be there in this chapter.

This Is What Makes Us Girls by Lana Del Rey: i feel like this is a lesser-known Lana song, but it's haunted me for years. i think there's a vibe of "for us girls, it's just the way wars are fought" in that song. and, with this chapter being the one where we find out about pansy, i couldn't not include it.

Broken Crown by Mumford & Sons: i've always felt like this was such a castles song overall, but struggled to find a good spot for it in the playlist. and then, i don't know. i feel like this moment after malfoy tells harry the truth and when he's having his tirade about systems just... works. this is a song that to me, represent the both of them, actually. i'll never wear your broken crown, i'll never be your chosen one. for malfoy, it's realising just that - he's not the chosen one. for harry, it foreshadows what's to come with alecto.

Mr. Sandman by SYML: okay, i cannot possibly explain this but i very strongly associate this song with the vibe of draco in prison, and that last scene. it's bizarrely haunting, and i think fits the mood perfectly.

Wrecked by Imagine Dragons: this song is one of those songs about grief that are maybe a bit one the nose but idk, i like it. i listened to it loads the summer it came out, and it inspired me to bring giulia back in this chapter. so there you go haha.

In Your Heart by The Franklin Electric: this is a song i love and i've listened a lot, but again, one that i couldn't really find a good place for in the playlist. but i was looking for a song to cover sort of the alecto/kingsley era of this chapter and i think it's perfect. it's vague enough that it could be about anything, and generally it's very much about guilt and substance abuse, and feeling lost, and very "in your head" which fits the bill. the beginning in particular really speaks to me: it's your fault, when your pride grows thicker than your skin, it's burning up like oxygen. and also this: the teachers never told you about reasonable doubt. i think it very much resonates with harry making that awful decision in that moment, and the guilt/unease that flows from it.

Foundations by Kate Nash: ah, do i even need to explain this one? this article was making the rounds a while back and it's So On Point. this song is an anthem to the breakdown of that first adult relationship you have with a boy that's a dickhead and this is mia's anthem. she deserves it. my fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundations and i know that i should let go, but i can't. i feel like this is so representative of that moment where everything points towards mia leaving him, but instead she asks him to come with her. darling, you deserve so much better!

People Help The People by Birdy: i was looking for a song to cover the memorial and i think this one (this version in particular) is just so beautiful. there's something very breathy and airy and the lyrics really resonate. the ups and downs of the verses v. the chorus of people helping people. give me your hand and i'll hold it is also building towards the hinny moment later. i really love this here.

Tobacco In My Sheets by Lauren Aquilina: god, i've loved and listened to this song so much. to me, it's the ginny&molly song. i've also hesitated on placement, it could have been earlier when molly and ginny were fighting, or later in 22, but ultimately, that scene with the hug is what i'm choosing. this song breaks my heart into a million pieces every time i hear it.

Higher by Lily Allen: ugh. this is probably one of my old time favourite lily songs. it took me a long time to understand it, listen to an interview when she was explaining this was written from the POV of her ex-husband. there's something so tragic about it, but i also really like the conflictual-ness of it, the one-upping each other which is a little bit what harry and ginny are doing for part of their conversation. there's also harry's unrelenting, unyielding attitude towards ginny's fuck ups, both tolerating them, but also making it clear that it needs to stop. it's your life, i said i'd never let you waste my time, i said you'd never hear me say that twice. you crossed that line. i just fucking adore this song.

Delilah by Florence + The Machine: there's a complexity in that song of i'm gonna be free, i'm gonna be fine, but also holding on for your call, i can never let go that i feel is very much the dichotomy of ginny in this chapter. the certainty and confidence but also the vulnerability of her conversation with harry at times.

Supernatural by Barns Courtney: i kind of see this song also as a transition into next chapter. one last time, let you back into my head - to me, it's harry and ginny sort of dancing around each other like they do in the of that conversation. want-me-want-me-not. they both do it at times, and especially harry in the next chapter, and i think it's a good song to launch the next part.

I'm Not A Saint by Billy Raffoul: this song has strong castles!harry vibes - at least for that era of his life lol. i kind of both see it as the opening song for the whole alecto mess, but also as an anthem for the whole chapter. i've one too many cigarettes, burning off my tongue, and the chorus of i'm not a saint but i could be if i tried is very harry/mia.

Lap Dance by Ycare: i fucking love this song. literally, i see it as the harry&hermione dancing scene song. more figuratively, it's harry dancing around with mia and ginny hot-and-cold-ing harry.

Trigger Bang (feat. Giggs) by Lily Allen: another of my favourite lily songs ever - i remember it came out as one of the early releases on no shame and i fucking gasped when i first heard it, i think it's my favourite song on the album. i actually listened to that album a lot while writing act 2 of castles; it's an album that deals a lot with addiction and messing up, which obviously is very much ginny's arc at that point. particularly, this song inspired the party thing where ginny says she'll avoid the party because (in other words), it's triggering to her. i was trying to find an excuse for the "one time they didn't meet" to fit with the theme of the chapter, and that song is what inspired me to write the whole party subplot, actually. that's why i can't hang with the cool gang, everyone's a trigger bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

The List by Maisie Peters: i love the successions of these two songs because they kind of build off on each other. it's new resolutions and turning a page, which is very much what ginny does here.

July by Noah Cyrus: ugh. self-explanatory. this is the most mia song ever. leave him. just leave him (spoiler alert, she can't).

Double Denim - the one to cry to at 3am by SKYLAR: another massive ugh. mia, stop falling for the bad boys. and harry, you are this song in this chapter. this song also have some of my favourite lyrics by SKYLAR ever, which apply so well in this context: mister, mister, if she's like a sister, why did you kiss her? what? to be polite? but aphrodite don't go kiss athena so why d'you kiss her? just, out of spite?

Back To Black by Amy Winehouse: ah, amy, my love. another victim of the tabloid press. i've always seen this song as mia's break-up song, and the title of the paris fic is taken from back to black. he left no time to regret, kept his dick wet, with his same old safe bet. baby, mia, my dear, i'm so sorry.

BLIZZARD by Fauve: there's this meme on french tiktok right now that's like: "the kids who used to passionately listen to Fauve in the summer on 2015, how are you all doing??" 😅 not well is the answer to that question lmao. jokes aside, for anyone not familiar, Fauve were a bit of a musical concept back in the day, and they have a lot of slam/rap songs about love and mental health and stuff that were very #deep but sure look, i still fucking love them. and, this song is so castles!hinny, it's very much about taking a leap and believing in the future, which is the sort of trajectory they're choosing for each other at the end of this chapter. tu nous entends l'amour, tu nous entends? Si tu nous entends, il faut qu'tu reviennes parce qu'on est prêts maintenant, ca y est. on a déconné c'est vrai mais depuis on a compris, et là, on a les paumes ouvertes avec notre coeur dedans, il faut qu'tu l'prennes et qu'tu l'emmènes 🥹

Que tout s'danse by Noé Preszow: this song is another of those songs that are incredibly important to castles and have really shaped the narrative of the fic. it basically says "you tell me anyone can dance through everything". it's a song about love and resilience and fucking up, and really was essential to the whole hinny arc in part 2. it has these lyrics about "i know it doesn't seem like it but i need to be laughed at, i need anonymous letters accusing me of all crimes" - to me it speaks to the very thesis of why harry chooses ginny: because she challenges him and makes him a better person. but, in my head, this song is also a war song, and a castles song. it's very linked to the trials arc of part 2, which also concludes in this chapter. in the song, the lyrics state: tu me dis que tout s'danse, même la gêne, même la haine, même l'errance. Que tout s'danse, la solitude, l'état de siège, l'état d'urgence. that last part, basically translating to "you can dance through anything, a siege or a state of emergency" is a direct reference to the state of emergency that was declared after the bataclan attacks in paris in 2016. as i've said before, i drew a lot of inspiration from the bataclan trials for castles, which were ongoing as i was writing, and from the bataclan attacks in general, which had a massive impact on my life and in part, motivated me to write castles. it's a gorgeous song, and one that has been in the playlist from the very start of this journey.

Friends (The Way I Wrote It) by Ian McConnell: i don't think i need to explain this one. it's the very last of the harry/mia song. it's cute and sad and weirdly perfect.

Paris by The Chainsmokers: i listened to this song a lot whilst writing chapter 15/16 and i couldn't help but feel like i had to include it somewhere. at first i was like "this has got to be mia related because it's paris," but ultimately, i think it's a very hinny-in-chapter-16 song. you'll see anyway that this whole chapter is pretty much one travel-related song after the other (lol), so here's the first one of many haha. i love the "let's show them we are better" and "if we go down, let's go down together" - it's very them and is also a good transition between 15 and 16.

Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls: i really struggled with this chapter regarding whether or not to include the muggle songs that are referenced in the text into the playlist. in the end, i decided not to, apart from this one and the Manu Chao one (see below). i don't think stuff like the real slim shady or wannabe or Dido are particularly relevant to this story, but this one is just so perfectly cliché and great for Ron & Hermione - i just had to include it.

Caravane by Raphaël: i know, i know. if you're french, you can't stand this song anymore cause it's been so overplayed, think: james blunt's you're beautiful. BUT it is a beautiful song. and, it's: harry and ginny leaving. being free. just the two of them. 🥹

Young as the Morning Old as the Sea by Passenger: i just love this song, it's gorge. but yeah, just another travel song in fairness ^^.

Fast Car by Tracy Chapman: so, funnily enough, this song was supposed to be a song harry and ginny danced to at the wedding. i took it out because all things considered, it's not a super hopeful song. but just now, i was looking for song to cover their first fight in misty village and like, idk. i love the metaphor in this, the way the first few pages of the trip (and the first few songs) are very happy-go-lucky and "yaay! we're going on an adventure" but then this one is like: is the adventure really a happy ending? it follows the hopeful beginning of this song and the more tragic end, almost. also this one and the previous one are very guitar-based, so they go well together.

Renegades by X Ambassadors: aaaaaand, they're back on the road lol.

The Seer's Tower by Jamie Cullum: this is a cover of a Sufjan Stevens song but Jamie Cullum's version fucking haunts me. i think it fits so well the low-key tension that exists between harry and ginny in that part of the chapter, around chicago and the midwest, where they're actually talking and making progress but also, everything's a bit complicated. i just adore this. and, obviously, the title of the song is a reference to Sear's Tower in chicago, which harry and ginny visit.

Bongo Bong by Manu Chao: aaaaaand, we're back on the road lol. with this quintessential european 90s song lol.

Sword from the Stone by Passenger: this is probably one of my top three passenger songs and the only "covid" song i can tolerate lol. i was sort of looking for a place for it in castles and then it hit me while making the playlist for this chapter. it's got that sort of desperation to it and that "i can't do it alone" and the ups and downs that are. very symptomatic of harry and ginny in this chapter. to me, this is really representative of the lead up to their final fight and of the fight itself.

It's Called: Freefall by Paris Paloma: this is a cover version which you probably already heard if you're on tiktok - it really inspired this chapter, and particularly the grand canyon moment.

What Is Love? by The Red Pill & Alan Watts: a bit the same as the above, i just love the text and it really symbolises that idea of taking a leap and believing in love for the two of them.

LETTRE A ZOÉ by Fauve: this is probably my favourite Fauve song and to me it so symbolises the vibe of the grand canyon aftermath, the very early, exciting stages of a reconciliation. it's such a beautiful song and i think it transitions wonderfully into the new "stage" of castles.

[rmd-writes]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Thanks Michelle! Choosing five fics was like trying to choose a favourite child which is to say, it's impossible. Okay, that's a lie, my favourite child is the one who is not sucking the life from my soul at any given moment. Yesterday both of my kids got a turn - first my youngest, because he very sweetly packed me a little fun size Crunchie bar from his personal stash of lollies and brought it to the movies for me and kept checking whether I'd eaten it yet and if I liked it. But then later he was being so loud I couldn't think, so his older sister became my favourite child because she told him to be quiet. Anyway, I'm turning into one of those recipe bloggers who can't give a recipe without sharing their whole life's story, so here is my list of fics I'm proud of in which I absolutely cheat by sharing some fic series:

don't estop me now (RWRB)

(read to the victor, the spoils first and then the prequel, what, like it's hard?)

I'm really so proud of this lawyer AU! I had an absolute blast writing these fics and I think it shows in my writing - it's definitely some of my best. What, like it's hard? is the first really substantial long fic I've ever written and that in itself was a challenge but the snarky rivarly between Alex and Henry is just so fun to write! Whenever I see comments roll in on these fics it just makes me smile so hard to see other people enjoying them

Soon (Tarlos)

PWP but make it bite-sized (aka 37, 100-word chapters). This started as a drabble but then I got the slightly unhinged idea to continue the fic in drabbles (ie precisely 100 words at a time). Was it a challenge to write only 100 words and make sure each chapter told enough of the story in so few words? Yes. Did I have so much fun edging Carlos and the fandom alongside him? Also yes.

Feeling kind of sketchy (Schitt's Creek)

artist!David unwittingly helps Patrick find himself and finds love along the way. This one is a little different in style to my usual writing, and I really leaned into the slightly more poetic style in the second part which I actually structured around a poem.

Precious Love (Tarlos)

A 5+1 exploring TK's relationship with love and self-worth. I don't usually write much angst but I dove into it for this one and I like how it turned out! Don't worry, it has a happy ending, I'm incapable of writing anything else!

Do you even lift, bro? (Tarlos)

aka my Tarlos gym AU - each of these fics (Let's Get Physical, Let Me Hear Your Body Talk, I gotta handle you just right) stands alone as a one-shot but they are part of a planned seven-part series which contains an actual plot, despite the way they read like pwp. The thing I'm most proud of in these fics though, is the coding - with a big assist from @celeritas2997, I learned to code well enough to embed actual instagram posts and DMs with photos in these fics, which for someone who is absolutely not a STEM girlie, is a very big deal.

The Grindr Toolbox: A Guide to Getting Nailed

A Helping Hand (Tarlos)

This Is Not A Drill (David x Patrick)

Are You Screwing with Me? (firstprince)

I set out to write three fics for three fandoms based on one prompt, and while it was a tricky balance to set up three very different fics using the same loose structure, I like how these turned out!

[gryffindorhealer]

WIP tag

Thanks for the tag @takearisk-ao3 Y'all gotta keep tagging me in this kind of stuff cause it really lights a fire under my butt to write.

Rules:

List the titles your top five priorities for WIP updates (link your fics for new readers!) An upcoming scene, event, or detail in each fic that you’re looking forward to writing Bonus: make a poll for your followers to vote on which top 5 WIP they are most excited to see an update on! Then tag 10 writer friends!

Top 5 priorities for WIPs Well. Hmm. This may depend on the way one defines Work in Progress. Partly this is due to me not starting to post a fic (multichapter, specifically) until the first draft is done, and I'm done editing enough chapters to stay ahead of the curve. I made this decision some time back; far too much time for my taste elapsed between Proposals Chapter 1 and Chapter 2.

That said, the work I'm currently posting is Mystic Dream. I posted Chapter 15 yesterday (1 March), and this is a bit past the numerical halfway point. It's a crossover: Ginny and Harry Potter are on a quiet bus-man's holiday with the boys off to Hogwarts and their daughter staying with her grandparents. She's interviewing American magical athletes for a book she's working on, he's attending an International Law Enforcement conference (with a magical, secret track). What could go wrong? Obviously, something, and since there's a dead American sailor involved, so is Special Agent In Charge Leroy Jethro Gibbs of NCIS. The question is, post a snippet, or a link, or both? It's a WiP in this sense; it's finished (or mostly, minor edits may or might not be happening), and I'm posting one chapter a week.

Snippet, I think. After all, I linked to the fic in the Posting Friday post. In this chapter, they are at a formal dinner-dancing event, and Harry's just asked Ginny how she likes her dinner selection:

She shrugged, ‘It’s good. Not sure Mum would approve of it, but then she doesn’t cook many Italian dishes.’ She winked at him. ‘Doesn’t match your lasagna.’

‘Mr. Potter cooks?’ Bishop blanched slightly at the surprise in her voice, particularly when Patil, Mags, and Gary all exclaimed.

‘His breakfasts are to die for,’ Mags exclaimed, curved fingers touching her lips in a chef’s kiss.

‘He’s surprisingly good at barbecue as well,’ added Patil. Gary chuckled at the expression on Bishop’s face.

‘I can make a passable meal, but Harry’s the cook in our family. You should hear our children complain when he’s home but I make dinner,’ Ginny laughed. Bishop looked at Harry, who shrugged.

‘Benefit of a misspent youth, I suppose,’ he said, grinning, then attacked his steak and kidney pie.

Now, for other priorities, if you call plotting and researching (plus all the other bits and pieces involved in writing) as Work in Progress, I've got three others I'm working on.

Skyclad: I hinted at this one in a later chapter of Dreaming a Life, when Luna visits the Potters at their home in Wales. Luna and Rolf decided it's finally time (what with twins and all) to formally declare their relationship. And, Luna being Luna, it's happening on actual Midsommer's Day, in a very traditional ceremony, that requires a very specific dress code. Or, would it be more accurate to say, undress code…

It's mostly notes so far. Here's a paragraph that is written:

If someone flying a small, private airplane at no great altitude along the western shoreline of Cymyran Bay, even being attentive to their surroundings so as not to collide with either other airplanes or birds, they might well see a small family step out of their brick cottage. They might see a very pretty woman walking with a toddler, both of them with fiery red hair that rivaled the lowering sun. Behind her might be walking a russet-haired boy, waving some toy (possibly a spaceship?) through the air as he walked. And not far behind them, a handsome man with another, younger boy, both of them with a shock of messy raven-black hair. All of them appeared to be wearing dressing gowns. This might bring the pilot of this airplane to presume the smaller building they walked towards, which resembled some far-eastern house or pavilion, to be a bath house.

A Scene I'm looking forward to writing for this one:

Well, I don't want to spoiler too much. There are two. The scene when Harry discovers exactly what the dress code is. And the scene after the ceremony, when Ginny gets to point out to him that yes, once again, she's right.

The next one is Loving Vigil:

Still quite newlyweds, Ginny's busy with the Harpies and Harry's on limited duty after a run-in on a mission with Kedavra Hornets. So he's charged by both Gawain Robards Head Auror, and Kingsley Shacklebolt Minister of Magic, to oversee the training of a new Corps for the Aurors. Field Healer Corps. He doesn't need to teach the Healing parts, because Minister Shacklebolt arranged for an expert in that to help, Gary Gillies, RCMP (Royal Canadian Magical Police) Field Healer. Here's the start:

In a world known for people accepting some rather outlandish clothing, he stood out like a sore thumb.

He strode out of the floo absolutely unphased by the spinning effects of the travel, the heels of the knee-high brown boots (so highly polished they reflected the aged oak floor of the Ministry Atrium) tapping a drum-like cadence as he marched towards the Security Check-in, silver un-rowled spurs flashing in the morning light. Midnight blue breeches flared wide above those boots, a yellow stripe running up the outside of both legs. His scarlet red serge tunic robe caught a number of eyes, all shiny brass buttons and gold badges at the corners of the high collar. Only a few individuals spotted the badges on both epaulettes; a crown over a caduceus. He nodded a friendly greeting to those that caught his eyes, even with his quite businesslike demeanor.

There are a few scenes in this one I'm looking forward to writing, including when Harry brings his new associate and his partner/wife along to Ginny's first birthday party after they've tied the knot.

Third,

Kreacher: He's one of my favorite characters, one that truly does have a redemption arc in canon. When Harry promises to do what Kreacher could not and complete his beloved Master Regulus' last order to destroy the Evil Locket, when he gifts Kreacher the decoy locket, Kreacher finds he can truly respect this new Master. What Kreacher never expected (since the need never arose in his long lifetime in service to the House of Black), is his Master ordering Kreacher to teach Master about the ins and outs of Magical Society that Hogwarts doesn't teach. It's a difficult assignment, someone has to do it, and Kreacher's been ordered to do so.

I'm still outlining the Professor Kreacher stories, but you can see Kreacher featuring in six of my stories, stipulating that one of those is a crossover AU. This still means in five of them, this lovable curmudgeon plays some part in moving things along. In Eloped - Sort Of I wrote his first appearance, and hinted at much more to come.

Kreacher looked around as the Colours in the walls began to glow a tad brighter. “Seven generations of the House of Black Kreacher served, and now the first of Potter-Black.” Stretching a bit to ease the aches in his joints, brought on no doubt by the day of rain, the thought that with a bit of luck he would see the next generation arrive for him to serve warmed his bones. He resumed his walk to his room, looking at the portraits with which Master Harry had replaced the heads of the previous House Elves of the House of Black. He nodded to himself, pleased that Master found a means to honor the service of Kreacher's predecessors. It seemed odd, perhaps, that Master did not like being called that, but Sir sufficed to show proper respect for the Head of House. “Kreacher has served the Dead long enough. It feels good to serve Life again.”

Scene I'm looking forward to writing? Kreacher's reaction when ordered by Harry to teach him. There's just so much opportunity for a House Elf to dread needing to correct, and therefore offend his Master of the House.

Sorry, no poll. I'm not particularly enamored of them.

Tags: Right, here are some (maybe not the required number) @ginnyw-potter (because you tagged me too), @takearisk-ao3 @whinlatter @johnmchacker @nuninho2000 @rmwb-fanfics

[recurring-polynya]

Writing Update/Art Update 5/9/2023

Many things happened last week. Not very many of them were drawing. I'll get back to that.

I have finally started posting the big (it's not really big. Medium-big. It just felt big) fanfic that I have working on for most of the year. You can start here if you want to read it, Chapters 1-3 are currently available.

I finished the smut. I had mostly finished it by Friday, but then we had a belated-because-we-were-waiting-for-spring-weather backyard birthday party for my daughter this past weekend, so I had to spend a solid 48 hours in the paralyzing deathgrip of anxiety at the prospect of socializing with people I don't know (the parents of some of my daughter's classmates), so I didn't get much of anything else done, although I did clean my house and buy a bunch of hot dogs.

I only got one doodle done this week, which took me three days, spread out over the anxiety deathgrip, but I'm pretty pleased with how it came out. I really would like to start on a more serious project this week, but I may get back to them, we'll see how it goes. I do want to thank everyone who sent in prompts, and I'm sorry I haven't gotten to more of them. Turns out I'm real bad at doing quick, fast-turnaround doodles! Is anyone surprised??

After that, like, I said, I finished up the porno. I was hoping to post it yesterday, but it was pretty late at night by the time I finished my editing sweep. Today was a go places posting day and I didn't really want to post two different fanfics in one day, plus I had made kind of a lot of edits, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to let it sit a day and then do another sweep before posting. In other words, tomorrow, probably.

This morning, I re-read what I've gotten written so far of Ductwork, which is the working title of the next story in the Heart is a Muscle. It's 7707 words at the moment, and I get hot mad every time I read it because I want there to be more of it, and unfortunately, there is only one way to make that happen. But it's gonna!! I keep telling myself that it was really worthwhile to have taken the time to write go places first, because Ductwork is largely about Rukia and Renji finally digging down into a lot of festering insecurities from that time in their afterlives. I have a couple different approaches to writing these days, and I'm gonna try to do the thing that ended up working for go places, which is 1) try to write something every day, 2) chronological schmonological, write whatever I can possibily come up with, I'll just cram it all together at the end, this was very fun and easy last time and definitely did not take six drafts and a color-coded spreadsheet. Based on past experience, I do not think I am going to be able to power through to completion, so my goal is to add at least 20k words to the thing before I flame out in a blaze of beautiful depression and spend the rest of the summer on something insane, like bringing back the Soul Society Tattoo Artist AU. My overall prediction is that it will be around 60k, but I'm not discounting the possibility that it could be another 100k-er. (it better not go over 120k tho, I will die for real)

Anyway, that was my week! Whew!

[seerofmike]

ask meme: 5, 6, 7, 13, 14, 20

5. Share one of your strengths.

everyone has always told me that i write invidiual character voices very well. i try to make narration and dialogue distinct and i think i do a great job!

my vantage is completely different from my crypto who is completely different from my octane, and on the surface octane may look like he'd share the same narrative voice as leo from rise but my leo rise voice is different from octane's and ohg i just love writing how different characters would describe things or percieve situations.

i do want to give a special shout out to my vantage from my mad science fic. i don't care for her character that much but writing her was so fun and judging by the reception i got from it when posted people really enjoyed her character voice too.

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

scene-setting, environmental description, action. god this problem plagues me when reading, writing, AND drawing. i simply cannot picture where characters are or what they're doing or how they're having this conversation, sitting down or standing up. in my brain, everything takes place with characters standing around in a white void until something happens in the environment. visually it looks like that one scene in coraline. you know the one

here's how my fic writing process goes. dialogue, emotion and feelings and shit, basic plot action like going to the next necessary location, or maybe a super important event, or the set-up and punchline to a non-verbal joke. then i go back and add like 1k-2k words of just...setting. description. action. response. reaction. physical action. THEN i go over it again for like actual editing and proofreading

i can give you an example right now of what i mean

everything highlighted here was not what was originally written and was added later so the scene would be more than just "he said/he said" and maybe it's because i'm the one who wrote it but like...you can tell it was tacked on.

i'm trying to get better at this and started drawing a storyboard for my current rottmnt fic because that one relies on action more than introspection and dialogue, but if u ever ask me to describe a location...girl i would need 30 minutes to think about it

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

umm...this one is kind of hard actually i don't really remember specific pieces of prose i write outside of dialogue!! if i had to pick it would be maybe this specific bit from chapter five of my simulacrum Crypto AU, Four Oh Three:

this is way more than a snippet lmao but writing this entire chapter was super satisfying with everything i'd set up so far. crypto not knowing if he actually felt attraction to octane or if his feelings were just the lingering result of his programming, trying to figure out what he could feel, IF he could feel, octane touching him and inviting him to touch him in turn, all the conflicting emotions that came with that.

i really felt at the time that it all really came together in a very drawn-out but deserved scene of intimacy (nearly the whole chapter?) after the result of like uhhh 30,000+ words of tension that i don't think i've ever really written before or since. i usually like to get straight into the dick in hole action lmfao but i was very satisfied and proud of myself for this one

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

so this isn't even writing advice it's programming advice LOL but several years ago i heard of rubber duck debugging in which programmers tell a rubber duck their code line by line until they realize what's causing them a problem. and ever since, for lengthy fics or things outside my comfort zone, i've described overarching plot details and invidiual chapters to either stuffed animals or my cat and if it sounds stupid being said out-loud then i usually decide it'd be stupid and nonsensical in a fic too and i change it up LOL

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

controversial opinion maybe but i think telling people that every scene in a book should only serve the narrative/plot is STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!! books aren't movies, you don't have a runtime limit!!! i think you lose out on so much character and introspection and world-building by forcing every scene in your book to only be plot-relevant stuff. sometimes characters interacting with each other and doimg stuff in their world is just fun or interesting and that's all it has to be

20.) Describe your perfect writing conditions.

i have my headphones plugged in and am listening to my music. the chair is comfy and i can lean back but my laptop is on a solid surface. i am supplied endlessly with coffee and fizzy drinks. all is well

[abysskeeper]

🎖😈💻🍰

Heyo, thanks friendo.

🎖What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc).

I just recently finished a ~20k three-shot, that was supposed to be a one-shot, in about 2 months. I haven't written legitimate fanfic in about 2 years, it felt good to do again, and it felt good to be possessed with an idea I wanted to see finished and actually see it through to the end.

It's a damn good short fic too, if my self-indulgent ass does say so myself.

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

I have a tendency to be a gen-ficcer in a shipper world. That alone is a crime in a lot of fandoms lol.

Seriously though? Slow-burner to end all slow-burns, when I do write ships. You thought those two characters were finally going to kiss in chapter 15? No, sorry, they got interrupted and are now going to compartmentalize how it wasn't what they thought and it's gonna take another 4 chapters to address that, and then another 2 after that to get back there.

There's a reason I relegate myself to gen fic and character studies. It's for everyone else's own good.

💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?

Generally no, if I'm writing fic it's in universe, and those universes are typically fantasy or sci-fi related so there's not a lot to look up besides a quick Google search of the name of something or a date or something like that. Quick and easy to look up. Before the aforementioned three-shot, I think the worst I did was look up episode transcripts for my ongoing Oscar character study.

This DGS three-shot though....I had a very, hyper-specific headcanon I wanted to execute. So for two months I was regularly consulting a Japanese translator, an article on the different forms of Japanese words for love, a Morse code chart, and a Wabun code chart. I was very normal about it.

🍰 Name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

Hm...I'm gonna out myself here. I don't read a lot of fic, I haven't since high school. I just like to write it from time to time.

I'm going to out myself again here, and say the one set of fics I do keep coming back to is the series of dreams, those frigid things by user Griftings over on Ao3 (do they have a tumblr? Idk). It's three Critical Role/Vox Machina works, specifically Perc'ahlia, and I should clarify I am...absolutely not in that fandom in any way, shape, or form.

But I read it at least once a year and it is by and away still some of the best writing I've ever encountered.

[sky-squido]

🎯😅✨? owo

oooh storytime!!

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

hmmmmm.... i used to care more about Plot Twists and Misdirection than i do now (you guys are NEVER going to guess what happens in Hey Four, Wanna Kill A Dragon With Me? >:3) but i do have one funny anecdote to share.

SPOILERS FOR TO ISOLATE SPOILERS FOR ONE OF THE BIGGEST IF NOT THE BIGGEST REVEALS IN A 170K WORD SKY-CENTRIC FIC OKAY IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT ONE DAY POSSIBLY EVER READ THIS FIC, PLEASE SKIP DOWN TO THE NEXT QUESTION

interestingly enough, i can't really think of a particular ao3 comment that stood out as an "Oh Frick They're Onto Me." a lot of prediction/theory comments had enough wrong mixed in with the right that it didn't quite feel like they'd Cracked The Code or anything.

there is one exception.

it kind of shows, but the early chapters of To Isolate were actually livewritten on the LU Discord (i'm choosing to interpret the dramatic decrease in quality (that, evidence suggests, i am the only person intensely bothered by) as a *checks notes* meta-textual allegory for the chaotic, unfocused, disorganized, unclear way in which Sky is viewing the world given all the stuff he's dealing with.)

okay, anyway, i looked high and low for that livewrite—chances are it was on a side server i'm not in anymore—but basically this was REALLY EARLY ON, like chapter one or two, maybe, and it was at a bit where sky was just describing the behavior of whoever's cycle it was and someone on the discord was like "does X character think they're going to die or something??" and i was like O_O; kind of freaking out internally because FRICK if it's that easy to guess the big secret only 5k words in, the rest of this fic is about to get real hard to write real fast. fortunately, that person either forgot about or discarded that theory and nobody else ever brought it up again :D eventually we got to the point where emotionally-charged plot developments were happening interspersed with so much of the new information that people's desire to theorize seems to be overwhelmed by their desire to KEEP READING and then the sheer volume of sky's own theorizing and hypothesizing kind of unconsciously forces the reader down the same lines of reasoning as him and we manage to avoid poking massive holes in the story! woo!!! (massive props to poltea for helping orchestrate everything gosh she is so good at this—it's kind of terrifying! (yeah, to people who are scared of me because of to isolate, it's poltea you should really be scared of. she's the one in charge of the villain—i just write the boys))

anyway, yeah! none of my other fics rely on mystery and suspense quite like To Isolate, so i'm not quite so caught off guard when people see stuff coming in those fics than i am when they do in To Isolate.

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

oh jeez, only EVERYTHING i wrote in 2020.

okay, no, that's not the case. i reread What Hyrule Hadn't Seen recently to check something for a friend and i've looked back at some other stuff, too. they really hold up quite well, there's just... moments. gah, some of these little bits make me want to rewrite the entire fic or re-release an Updated Version with the lines and scenes edited out. there's little stuff like Legend saying some token bitter comment about the Goddess just because That's How Legend Gets Written often and i was newer to the fandom and didn't have the experience to say okay FIRST legend doesn't even know who hylia IS and SECOND, this isn't even her FAULT like she's NOT omnipotent and she needed like THREE contingencies to take down demise and was canonically injured in the fight and reincarnated herself so she could use the triforce, which is farore, din, and nayru's so she's literally canonically the weakest named goddess in the pantheon and THIRDLY i don't even think it makes sense for legend to be that bitter about his adventures—or at least if he is, i don't feel comfortable writing him that way without actually addressing why he feels that way and exploring it more. *ahem.*

other than little places where the boys feel blatantly out of character in hindsight, there's just. augh, there's paragraphs with too many adverbs and just rows of consecutive dialogue tags and yes, i know that that means my writing's getting better and that the original writing isn't necessarily bad and don't worry i'm not gonna delete or re-release anything. i just can't read some of it without cringing to death.

like—okay, my first fic, Turn Back Time. i haven't read this fic in its entirety in a VERY long time. i've tried, but i can't make it very far (i understand that this is on some people's list of favorite fics and there's nothing wrong with that! i loved it to death and was SO PROUD OF IT when i first finished it and i don't begrudge anyone for feeling that way about it now). let's just see how far i make it on this reread before i crawl under my desk.

augh, i'm one paragraph in and it's SO CLEAR this was a string of discord messages before it was a fic and i didn't go back and touch up the beginning when i realized i was Actually going to write it. other than little stylistic things that grate on my nerves and didn't used to, i don't really like writing the colors as four separate trains of thought running in four's head. it's The Way Four's Written, often, and as a new member of the fandom, i followed the trend but in hindsight, i just... no shade to people who write four with all the internal dialogue—i've read some of your stuff and absolutely love it—i've just never been able to handle it in a way i'm particularly happy with in my own writing.

like, these scenes aren't bad. they're not as good as my newer stuff, but i don't think they're bad. the stuff that grates on my nerves is the stuff that i know i wrote a certain way, not because i wanted to write it that way, but because i was just unthinkingly following the standard. i'm trying to think of analogy to describe the way i feel about this writing but i honestly can't. it's just—the problem isn't that i think it's bad (though a decently sized part of me does), it's that it's not me. it's that it's not how i would have written that character or that scene if i'd thought about it more. but i wasn't thinking, i was having fun, and that's totally within my rights. i just. i'm kind of embarrassed to have that under my name because it doesn't really feel like it's mine, like it's an accurate representation of what i feel or think. (don't worry, i'm not going to orphan anything).

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

aww, this is a really nice question to put after the last one <3

truth be told, i honestly really like my writing, for the most part. i'll sometimes go and reread my own fics and gasp like "I DID NOT DO THAT!!! OH MY GOODNESS I DID. HOW DARE I????" like,,, i have a really REALLY bad memory and so there are entire bits of my own fics that i've completely forgotten about and then i go back and reread and i'm blindsided by them like it's my first time reading it even though I WROTE IT. it's an experience, to be sure.

so... yeah! i like my writing! i like the way ideas fit together and the way character dynamics unfold and the way things tend to resolve. i like the way most of it still feels right, even months or years later, like yes, yes i wrote that and i'll write it again if i have to because that's exactly right. i dunno, writing is fun and it makes me happy and, evidence suggests, it makes other people happy, too. it's the highest praise i can give to say that something i made is making the world a little brighter, and i like to think my writing is doing that (even despite all the darkness it has to drag the characters through to make that happen)

anyway!!! thank you so much for the questions and have a lovely, restful rest of your weekend!!

[shameonmeeguiltypleasure]

Seducing Mr Bridgerton Chapter 4: The author rambles/Vents (Possible Spoilers for future chapters)

This is the most frustrating chapter to produce so far. Nothing is flowing and I hate everything about it!! The pace and rhythm of the POVs is so aggravating to work through, I've taken 16 breaks in the last three days!!! At this point, I think I'm just forcing out the words and it's so annoying!! Why can't the chemistry, banter and dynamics in my brain transfer to written word!!!

Aaaarrrrrggggghhh!!!

After trying to average at least 500-1000words per day till chapter completion. I've now got two extensively written deleted scenes. One just over 1000 and another at 700.

They're events/scenes that actually happen in the story, but their not necessary for the plot.

Honestly, I can understand why directors etc delete scenes from movies etc. Giving too much attention to side/minor character interactions and Povs can distract from the main storyline and characters.

On one hand, I feel like I'm growing as a writer thanks to the stress/struggle and temper tantrums this chapter has caused me. I'm learning alot about what is necessary narrative and overwhelming distracting details that lack purpose. But its so damn infuriating to have this chapter not match what my brain wants!!!

I think it's also the Canon chapter itself. I personally don't get the importance of the tea at Number 5. Other than them speculating and making theory's about LW it's a boring chapter. And in terms of Colin and Penelope, there was nothing really progressive in the chapter.

At this point, we all get that nobody thought Pen had the guts to do something like LW. And we all know Colin is an idiot boy with a heart of gold that needs to open his eyeballs asap.

I think I wanted this chapter to highlight the way others see Polin's interactions. Sure I've hinted and shortly indicated some characters understanding of them (Anthony, Benedict, Eloise and Lady D). But I wanted to write from an outside witness of the two of them together in the moment. I wanted to show that the tension/banter/affection between Colin and Penelope is so obvious that everyone is expecting/waiting for the snap that makes one of them make a move.

But my girl Eloise is so hard to write without letting her completely dominate the plot, narrative and tone of the chapter. Then there's Hyacinth who is eagerly wanting to be written in but struggling to hold any importance or purpose. Kate is hard as well. The Viscountess is very comfortable being a quiet observer, so quiet I forget she's even supposed to be in the scene. Violet has no purpose at all. But it's her tea party and so she's got to be there. And Anthony behaved for his feature and is very firmly refusing to do anything more.

Aaaarrrrrggggghhh!!!!

If I reflect on what I've mentioned so far, these are what come to mind:

Colin's gotten up to no good overseas. Sh! Don't tell the Bridgerton's.

Penelope knows detailed mechanics (and wonders bout her kinks) on the how of sex but has yet to experience it herself.

Implied Eloise and Penelope know each other's secrets but girl code ('We don't talk about _____' kinda vibe) to never speak or acknowledge that they know anything.

Colin doesn't like to be ignored, nor does he like to share.

Anthony can't read vibes and needs Kate to translate.

Colin thinks Penelope holds some sort of affection for Benedict. Strong enough for her to choose B over C.

This Author is such a fucking tease, they're frustrating themselves.

I have such specific plans for when Polin reaches their climax. I know I'm teasing, but that's because I want the characters to be starved for one another. I want them to devour and selfishly hoard one another from the eyes of the world. I want Colin to be utterly miserable after he's been given a taste of what he could have had for years but stupidly lost his right to after a temper tantrum. I want Penelope to deny, deny, deny Colin a single scrap of her love and affection so he can know the torture of pining and hungering without satisfaction. I need the darkness they hide within to overwhelm them both and to clash with one another so viscously they forget where they begin and the other ends. I NEED them to be so obsessed with one another that the rest of the world becomes background noise.

And fuck...... I just solved my own writer's block 🤦

Whelp. I'll guess I have to write from Polin pov and just give a short nod to someone else's pov at some point. Sorry if you feel disappointed about that.

In saying that, do you think I should post the deleted scenes? Should I do them separately or Nah? Should I wait till the end of the fic to properly share it on ao3 as a series?

Ugh idk.

[manonamora-if]

Three update in one this week.

Word Count: 47.536 (+1.640)

Ended up barely writing this week. Pretty much haven't wrote since last Saturday. Finished only one other round (7/30) and am half-way through the next one. I got distracted and was little in the mood to write as well. So rather than putting out mediocre content, I took a break.

I am not sure if I'll end up managing finishing all 30 rounds by the end of the Summer. I think I was too optimistic about it. We'll see. I might end up updating the game with what I have so far and add the next batch of rounds when they are ready.

In any case, I'll release the basic template by the end of the summer.

So I made quite a bit of progress on the UI on that front. See that post. There will be some tweaking needed in that design (icon choice, text/link placement, etc...) but I am pretty happy with what I have done so far. There is a bit more I have done for the bar page too.

I have started making a list of drinks names to have on the menu too! It's kinda hard but pretty fun ☺

I've been mulling over how to build the game itself. I would love to just have my first idea just as is, but that was part of the issue to why I got stuck pretty hard last time. So I changed it a little.

I will build the game in 3 stages:

The basic create/serve drinks with no interaction with customers.

The NPCs you only meet once, with choices that have litte repercussion on that NPC and story overall.

The Big NPCs that come back multiple times (4/5 times) with choices that impact both the player and the NPC. And you build a bit of relationship with those.

If the first one is finished, I move on to the next one, etc... And whatever is ready for the Comp will be uploaded.

The first stage is easy because it only revolves around coding and UI Design. As in, I need to finish the bar and the menu. Also, I can reuse 95% of it for the other stages.

The second one requires some actual writing on my part. I already have a list of NPC. They will appear randomly and only once. You'll have an introduction, the drink making and the NPC's reaction. Fairly straightforward. I hope little details are needed, but knowing me...

The last one is a bit more complicated, because it requires more variation and also because I don't have everything planed yet. Even if I would want it in the game, if it is not ready for the Comp, it will be an after add-on. (I hope I can squeeze it in)

Been proofreading MelS's writing. About 1/3rd through Chapter 1 already. I have 2/3rd of Chapter 1 left and most of Chapter 2 to do. We are only missing 2 location for Chapter 2 to be completely done.

Most edits needed are very minor (some typo, some missing variation). Very little is really glaring or needs to be re-written. Which infuriates me a little because that document is only his first draft. And it is so good. Really been jelly. And excited to share it.

My plan is to finish that proofreading this weekend and wait for his updated version to finish the coding for those 2 chapters.

As of now, we stand at 40k-ish words all parts included. Hopefully more will be added before October, but it might also not. Don't want to pressure MelS either.

I think I'll open an itch page at some point during the summer just to get the ball rolling some more.

AND THAT's IT. Was busy but not really. And all over the place. yay

[alliterative-albatross]

So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".

Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.

But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).

AFTERSHOCKS

Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.

IF I FALL

Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?

But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.

You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.

Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).

A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.

I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.

PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.

JAVIER PEÑA

My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.

OCs

I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.

And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.

HANNAH AARONS

Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.

Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔

PARTING THOUGHTS

Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.

You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪

~

My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again. 

That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.

Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise! 

I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.

I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory. 

On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.

Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)

Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.

Mad love and soft hugs, 

~ Jay

[kikoqueenofrats]

Whoop Whoop next chapter is in! Lil guy belongs to @toastraccoon

Cel sighed as he buried his face into his knees. He was currently trying to come to terms with the fact that he had just developed a crush on his new friend...if he could even call Mari a new friend at this point.

They had been traveling together for two years after all.

Cel groaned grabbing the attention of Mari, they turned around, looking at Cel in concern

"You okay buddy?" They asked as they jumped out of the open Google Chrome tab and onto the taskbar.

They cringed slightly as another twinge of pain shot up their back and it was Cels turn to frown in concern.

"Mari-"

"It's fine, it doesn't hurt that much, I'm okay" Mari shrugged, cringing again as the movement jostled their injury.

Cels concerned frown deepened at that. "Mari it's been a week and your injury is still just as bad as it was when you first got it!" Cel stated firmly, Mari shrunk slightly at that, looking up at Cel a look of realisation falling upon their face.

"But...I took a healing potion" they whispered, now eyeing Cel worriedly.

"Well it didn't work!" Cel snapped

"It worked for you didn't it!?!" Mari snapped back and they both went silent for a few moments.

Cel thought back to the last time he had taken a Minecraft healing potion...when he and Mari had first met. Cel had been in pretty bad shape and whilst the small bits of code damage had been healed by the potion, the largest injury had remained until eventually it had "healed" on its own. Well that’s what Cel had believed, until the injury had flared up again during that attack the day he and Mari were kidnapped.

"...yeah, it worked for the small ones" Cel shuffled awkwardly as Maris' concerned look deepened "the large one on my back stayed there for about a week...I thought it had healed too but...it started hurting again...it was small at first but...it got worse..." Cel whispered, lowering his voice at that last bit as guilt began eating away at his throat.

Mari looked at Cel in shock, opening their mouth to speak when they seemingly decided against it.

"Okay" Mari put their hands up in defeat "let's see what the internet says about this" they turned around and jumped a mile as their eyes landed upon the small green stick standing in front of them.

"GAH! AHuh-" They doubled over in pain as the injury was jostled once again. Cel jumped up and quickly made his way over, grabbing Maris arm as they began to lean too far left for Cels liking.

"Oh gosh! Sorry I didn't mean to startle ya!" Lil guy began eyeing Mari nervously as they began leaning heavily on Cel, much to their dismay "are they okay?" His eyes moved over to Cel as he asked the question.

"No...they're not" Cel sighed looking at his now struggling to stand friend in concern "They were attacked by a powerful stick last week...just after we first met you...and...and they've been having back pain ever since..." Cel finished now looking over at Lil Guy;

Lil Guy shuffled nervously, a guilty expression written across his face.

"Yeah, I should probably apologise for that" Cel gave him a confused look, but remained silent, letting Lil Guy continue.

"I heard you both getting attacked...I did try to help you but uh...the group knocked me out before I could get you out...I've been worrying about you two all week...and rightly so" Lil Guys nervous look moved over to the still tensed up Mari "Mari looks like their suffering from a bad case of code damage..." The small stick began making his way around the duo.

"You don't have to apologize for that...it was three v one-" Cel smiled reassuringly "besides you're here now...you can help Mari now, can't you?..." Cel shuffled awkwardly, worried he was being too forceful.

Though Lil Guys' content smile quickly chased those worries away "yeah...I'm here now" He began pulling off his oversized backpack as Cels gaze returned to Mari.

Cel looked between the two for a while before realising the medic would probably need some help reaching Maris wound if they remained in their current position.

"Mari?" Cel looked up at Mari, they looked over at Cel slowly. Cel could practically see the pain written over their face and his heart ached at it, but he needed to do this in order for them to get the help they needed.

"Mari, could you sit down please...Lil Guy needs to be able to reach your back" Cel asked gently, Maris' pained look deepened for a few moments before they slowly began trying to lower themselves to the floor.

Cel supported Mari on their journey to the floor until they had both made it to their destination.

A few moments of Lil Guy rummaging in his bag later and he had pulled out what he would need. Cel looked over in curiosity as Lil Guy unscrewed the lid off of a small pot and began applying the thick cream like substance onto Maris' injury.

Mari hissed and tensed up even more as the substance hit their skin, in response Cel grabbed Maris hand and began muttering soft words of comfort as the hiss slowly turned into soft whimpers.

Lil Guy watched this out of the corner of his eye and smiled playfully.

"So, how long have you two been together then?" Lil guy chuckled as Cel sputtered, caught off guard by the healers question.

He opened his mouth to explain when Mari beat him to it;

"We've been together for two years now" Mari stated as casually as they could considering their current physical state.

Cels face went red as they stared at Mari in shock. "M-Mari I don't think you understand what Lil Guy is saying" Cel blurted out the confusing feelings attacking his mind full force as his lovestruck mind tried to convince itself that Mari had actually meant those words.

Whilst his more realistic thinking mind kept yelling at him that it wasn't possible seeing the time frame Mari had just stated.

Mari stared at Cel in confusion for a few moments. before they could open their mouth to reply however a new wave of pain caused them to tense up again.

Without hesitation Cel quietly began rubbing Maris hand. Lil Guy chuckled lightly at that and Cel looked back up at them sharply, blush still evident on his face. Lil Guy chuckled again before going back to treating Mari.

A few moments later and Lil Guy was done covering Maris injury in cream, he put the container back into his pack, before pulling out a bandage.

"This'll help keep the cream from rubbing off" Lil Guy muttered as he began wrapping the bandage around Maris torso.

Cel continued to hold onto Maris hands, not noticing that Mari had relaxed significantly since the back rubbing had stopped, still trying to fully come to terms with his own emotions.

Mari didn't seem to notice either, still wanting to find out how they had misunderstood Lil Guys question.

"Hey Lil Guy?" Mari asked as said stick secured the bandage into place.

"Yeah?" Lil Guy replied, still focused on the bandage.

"What did you mean when you said me and Cel were together?" Lil Guy paused, looking thoughtful for a few moments, trying to figure out the best way to explain this concept to Mari.

"Mari do you know what love is?"

It was Maris turn to look thoughtful.

"I...kind of?...I know there are different kinds, I just" Maris face fell slightly "I don't know how they feel yet...I...I think I know what the friendship kind feels like, because that's what I feel about Cel...but I'm still not entirely sure"

Cel had only been half listening to the conversation as he continued to softly play with Maris hand.

His frown deepened slightly as he heard Mari refer to him as a friend. His frown deepened even more as he shook the disappointed feeling away.

Mari needed a friend, they could only handle a friend right now.

You don't even completely understand what you're feeling, calm down-

Lil Guy nodded, quietly thinking the new information over as they finished wrapping Maris torso and packed the remaining bandages away.

"Alright, all done!" He chirped, ignoring the bewildered look he got from Cel as the subject was suddenly changed.

"Now all you need is rest and..." Lil Guy looked outside of the desktop window, the user was currently not there, but that didn't mean they wouldn't return any time soon.

"...this isn't really the safest place to do so...but don't worry, I know a place" Lil Guy got up, pulling his oversized backpack onto his back as he did so.

Mari tried to follow Lil Guys lead, but ended up almost falling over again as Cel was still holding onto their hand and Maris back was still rather sore.

Cel quickly let go and steadied his friend, gently helping Mari stand fully back onto their feet.

Mari smiled at Cel gratefully and Cel had to push down another wave of the unwanted emotion only managing a half smile in response.

Cel slowly helped Mari into the tab just as Lil Guy had finished typing in the URL. He checked if the duo were there before pressing the search button, the page loaded and all that was there was a black screen, a brown wooden door sitting just in the middle of it.

The duo began eyeing the door nervously. Yes they trusted Lil Guy more than the sticks that had previously attacked them. But having only just learnt the sticks name, it was fair to say that they were both a bit hesitant.

Sensing this Lil Guys smile turned warm "Hey, it's okay" He quickly jumped off the search bar and walked towards the door "I'll go in first, if that'll make you guys feel better" He smiled pulling out a key and unlocking the door.

Cel still looked incredibly hesitant, but after seeing the comforting smile Lil Guy was giving them, he relaxed a little. "It's alright, we'll go" Mari smiled back, grabbing Cels hand and walking towards the door.

Cel looked up at Mari, he was still hesitant to go into the door, but he also trusted Mari too much to say so.

So he allowed himself to be dragged through.

If anything went wrong they'd still be together...right?