#by the end of this I'll have enough fanned fiction to last me through my days. maybe

[llycaons]

well that's enough fanfic for me. down to 25 pages already, and now I have to go prepare for tomorrow and stuff

[mingi-s-dimples]

Can I request a yeosang x reader smut where she's hurt during the concert and waits outside and Yeosang spots her and takes her to the Hotel he's staying in but she's bleeding and he wants to see the would( it's on her side where her bra is) so he bluntly asks her to take off her top and bra etc?

Please make it to where they have intercourse and she's a shy one. So when she squirts she gets really really embarrassed

perfect opportunity - yeosang

REQUEST BY: anon

pairing: bf!yeosang x gf fem!reader

rating: 18+

genre: slight idol au, romance, some fluff, smut (not filth)

summary: you get hurt at the concert, but that only ends up being a nice and wanted opportunity for the two of you.

WC: 2k

warnings: bf!yeosang, gf fem!reader, first time intercourse, cumming, squirting, some nice fluff here and there, mentions of blood (reader got hurt at the concert), lil bit of overstim (reason of reader squirting), pet names, smut (def not filth), aftercare ☹️🤍, completely consensual!, unprotected (WRAP UP IRL!), unedited, probably forgot something.

Author's Note: this was really nice to write actually. Anon. I hope you'll enjoy it! I loved to build up the crumb of plot for this one, I absolutely loved the circumstance they were in. I hope I'll see you around more, anon! (Also anon 💭, I didn't forget about you!!!!!! It's in my drafts 😇)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction & does not represent in any way the reality of the member.

The energy in the venue was electrifying, with thousands of fans cheering, their voices blending into one thunderous roar. The lights danced across the stage, illuminating Yeosang as he performed with the effortless grace that always took my breath away. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, captivated by the way he commanded the stage. His presence was magnetic, and the crowd responded to every move he made.

As the beat of the music intensified, the crowd surged with excitement. People around me started jumping, their enthusiasm contagious. But in the chaos, I suddenly felt a sharp push from behind. My body jolted forward, and I stumbled, my chest colliding with the barrier beside me. Pain radiated through my side, sharp and sudden, catching me off guard. A wave of dizziness washed over me, and the noise of the concert started to feel distant, almost muffled.

Knowing I needed to get some air, I carefully made my way out of the crowd, each step feeling heavier than the last. The moment I stepped outside, the cool night air hit me, wrapping around me like a comforting blanket. It was a chilly night, the kind of August evening where the heat of the day fades into a crisp, refreshing breeze. Despite the circumstances, I couldn’t help but appreciate the night’s coolness; I had always loved these chilled nights in August, where the air was cool enough to wake you up but not cold enough to make you shiver.

Leaning against the wall outside the venue, I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. The pain in my chest was still there, a dull ache now, but the dizziness was beginning to fade. The distant hum of the concert was still audible, and I smiled faintly, thinking of Yeosang on stage, hoping he hadn’t noticed my absence.

*about an hour later*

As I was sitting on the bench, at the back of the stadium where the boys would come from, far away from the main entrance and the public, I saw someone rushing over to me. It was Yeosang.

"Baby, what happened, hm?" he said catching his breath. "I suddenly couldn't see you in your spot and I panicked. Are you okay?" he said, looking worried.

"Yes, yes. Nothing to worry about. We were jumping and I was pushed and hit the barricade rail, hurt my side a bit but I promise I'm okay! I just got out to get some air and that's all" you said, trying to reassure him.

"Hey, let me see" Yeosang mumbled, trying to get you to move your hand. You did as he wanted and he saw a bloddy spot on your side, still a bit wet, meaning the injury was still open.

"BABE JESUS WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S OKAY?!" Yeosang shouted, hugging you thightly. "Let's go to the hotel, let me see the wound there, alright?"

"Mhm, okay. Let's go, baby."

*several minutes later*

"Here baby, let me see" Yeosang said approaching you after closing the door.

"Where is the injury, hm? Tell me babe" he said willing to help you.

"On my right side, here" you claimed, tapping on your torso, right besides your bra.

"Oh, there? Take your shirt off"

"Hm?"

"Take it off, let me see"

"Uh, okay sure"

You were confused at how adamantly he was asking you to undress yourself, but he was your boyfriend anyways. Matter of fact, the two of you haven't been in a relationship for too long. You only officialised it about 2 months ago, both of you being really shy about it and all. Like, you knew he liked you and he also knew you liked him, but it was so hard for him to confess to you at first. You gave him a nod, softly blushing at the situation you were in. He took of your shirt, leaving you in your bra in front of him. He gulped at the view, himself shy and hesitant, but you gave him a soft kiss and he felt more confident. After all, it was the first time he has seen you like... this. You were feeling a bit aroused, not knowing what would happen next if you gave him the idea of having sex with him for the first time. But you waited.

He froze for a moment, watching you contently. He hovered his eyes over your collarbones, then over your shoulders. His gaze darkened upon seeing your cleavage, chest rising with slow and steady breaths. He slowly approached your body with his hands, almost scared to touch you, thinking he might make you uncomfortable. He unbuckled your bra, letting it fall by itself from your chest. His hands stopped at your waist, squeezing it tightly.

"Ah, fuck" he mumbled, looking down at his pants, a tent forming. His flushed face, he was trying to look you in your eyes but he couldn't.

"I'm so s-sorry, babe. I don't know what's gotten into me" he said rapidly, flustered.

"No, no, don't worry! Actually I-uh.. was enjoying it as much as y-you were" the words came out of your mouth, his eyes searching yours.

Yeosang tried to continue without thinking about the situation in.. that way. "Give me a bandaid, I already disinfected it. Let me stick it".

"Oh, yes sure. Here"

He lifted your arm, the wound exactly on the side of your chest, under the place where your bra would be supposed to sit. He slowly but firmly tapped the bandaid, making sure it was stuck completely. Then, his hands went to your thighs, rubbing them slowly up and down, trying to say something.

"Uh, -h, baby."

"Y-yes? you mumbled.

"C-can I?" he said, closing the gap between the two of you, his hands traveling politely, gently on your body.

"Y-yes, Yeo" you said and went in for a kiss, which he deepened in a second. A slow, lustful kiss, more of a longed one. You knew he might have wanted to do this for a while, but both of you were so shy, neither of you could make a step. But this was an opportunity he didn't let go of and gave in.

"Are you sure? T-tell me if you want me to stop" he whispered, putting you slowly on the bed, a pillow under your waist and him on top of you, inspecting every part of your fair body. His hands were travelling, from your collarbones, to your waist and to your thighs, then again up to your chest, softly fondling with your breasts. You could feel his hands slightly trembling, himself being so shy about it, that you could've laughed. But the next move threw you off a bit, as his right hand went to your pants, slowly unbuttoning them. You could feel how arousal was pooling in your panties, feeling the urge to close your legs for some friction, but as soon as you were left only in your panties in front of your boyfriend, your chest rose with a relieved sigh.

"B-babe you're so.. pretty and.. beautiful" your boyfriend stuttered, trying to unbuckle his pants, but fumbled two times. He was staring at you, no wonder he failed. He was eating you up on the spot with his stare. When he finally undressed himself and was only left in his briefs, you gulped at the sight. He was big, you didn't know what to expect before this exact moment, but you were... pleasantly surprised.

He then approached you, his crotch softly brushing over your thigh as he got to your panties, pulling them down. He then froze for a moment, debating what to do. He approached you with a soft but deep kiss, then he left kisses all the way from your neck and collarbones, to you belly and your thighs. He looked at you contently for a moment.

"C-can I?" he said, refering to what he wanted to do all night since you've met and saw you like that.

"Y-yes, please Yeosang"

He didn't hesitate. His right hand went between your thighs, softly rubbing your wet folds. He was still looking at you from time to time, to make sure you're doing good. You gave him a nod of approval and he pushed two of his fingers inside, receiving a soft moan from your slowly rosing chest. He was working his way in, shy at first but slowly getting more confident, he was prepping you up for himself, taking his time.

"A-are you ready?" he mumbled, shy and almost quiet enough to not hear him. He went in for a kiss, guiding his length to you cunt, pushing himself in, slowly but surely. He let you get used to his size, then with slow thrusts he closed the gap between the two of you. Your legs were over his, leaving room for him to bottom down with every thrust. He was still deep in the kiss, feeling your soft moans revebrating through his body, sending shivers down his spine. It hurt, you woulnd't lie but.. it felt so good at the same time. You were making love with your lovely boyfriend, feeling his love and sweetness radiating from his body. His pace got a little faster, one of his hands on your waist and one on your back, he lifted you up to sit on him. He was hugging you thightly, all touchy on your back, feeling up every inch of your soft skin.

"Ngh-h Yeo, I t-think I'm close" you tried to mumble, your breath hitching with every thrust. His length hit your sweet spot every time, sending shivers through your whole body. Your chest rose with every breath and whine you let out, feeling how the heat in your belly was getting tighter and tighter. When he bottomed down again, you felt yourself trembling under his grasp, creaming on his dick, feeling it twitching inside you. He slowed down his thrusts for a moment, giving you time to catch your breath. He then suddenly sped them up a bit, your face rose with confusion.

"I k-know you've finished, babe" Yeosang whispered.

"But I' didn't so-" he stopped for a moment "I also want to finish" he mumbled, his voice rumbling and sending shivers down your spine.

You could feel your high building up again, his dick hitting all your right spots and his pelvic bone also hitting your clit whenever he completely bottomed out. But in the end it wasn't your... high that you were catching. Yeosang thrusted into you a couple more times, holding onto you for closure and finally came, still fucking you through his orgasm, but slowly. Suddenly, you could feel how overstimulated and overwhelmed you were and when he bottomed out for the last time, you squirted all over him.

"Oh- my fucking god"

"I'm so s-sorry Yeosang" you mumbled embarrassed, trying to get off of him.

"What are you sorry for? You... squirted, that's all" he reassured you, but you weren't quite.. content with what happened.

"H-how could this happen... oh my god" you burried your forehead in the nape of his collarbones, you didn't want your eyes to meet his.

"Babe, relax. It's normal. I should be sorry for overstimulating you after you came, that wasn't very nice of me, but you felt so good... I had to finish" he said, giving you soft forehead kisses.

The two of you stayed like that for a minute, feelings overwhelming you with how loved you were by him, by your boyfriend. He then got up and washed you up, then tucked you in bed. He did the same and while you were waiting for him, the only thought that was racing through your mind was how long he must have waited for you to have courage, but you were so happy to finally give in.

He then came in the bed and tucked himself in, turned on a random movie on the tv and stroked your hair and forehead to sleep.

NETWORKS:

@illusionnet

@blossomnet

TAGLIST (join my permanent taglist here !):

@mingleshine @crazylittlebisexual @sanhwalvr @musiclovingfairy

[slayfics]

Explosive tendencies a slow burn fan fiction about the readers developing relationship with Katsuki Bakugo.

Chapter fourteen: You visit Katsuki.

Chapter links

You puttered around your room trying to keep yourself busy. It was taking everything in you not to text and bug Katsuki. It should have been enough for you to know he was safe at home, but you still worried about how he was doing. Surely everything that happened was pretty traumatic for him. Being kidnapped by the League of Villains, and being in the middle of that fight with All Might and One For All.

You mindlessly folded some laundry and put it away as you desperately fought the urge to check on him. You knew he had to be tired from all the questioning from the police and no doubt his parents, so you tried to give him space.

You finished putting away the last of your laundry and eyed your phone on your bed. Ugh- fuck it. He can ignore it if he doesn't want to talk to anyone.

You grabbed your phone and messaged Katsuki.

How are you doing? I'm fine. You don't need to check on me. I know, but it's hard not to worry with everything that happened. I said I'm fine. I'm fucking tired of talking about it. The cops were here for hours. I'm sorry that sounds shitty. Want to come over? I promise I won't ask about it. We can talk about other stuff and pretend it didn't happen for a while. Can't. I'm on some house arrest shit. They don't want me going anywhere. I'll come to you then.

You really want to see me that bad hu?

You blushed reading his last text and before you could think of what to say back Katsuki was calling you.

"Hey," You answered your phone.

"I'm going to give you directions on how to get to my place," he said

"You could just send me your address," you said as you snuck out your window.

"I want you to stay on the phone with me the whole time. In case something happens. I don't need you running into villains or anything on the way to my place. I'd never hear the end of it from the damn police," he grumbled.

You laughed at his remarks. While his words were harsh you knew by now it was just the way Katsuki was. It was actually sweet that he wanted to make sure you were safe the whole way to his house.

"Alright tell me what street you are on," he said.

You gave him the name of passing streets and he proceeded to give you what he decided to be the safest route even though it was a little longer.

"I don't want you walking down any alleyways or shit like that. And hurry up you're walking so damn slow," he said.

"I am not! It's not my fault I don't have a quirk that lets me explode through the sky," You teased him.

"Tch whatever- do you see the house with the brown wall yet?" he asked.

Your mouth hung slightly open as you realized the house Katsuki was talking about. It was a rather huge house, that you hadn't expected him to live at.

"Holy shit-" you said being unable to keep your thoughts to yourself.

"What?" He asked.

"This is a huge fucking house Bakugo, do you have a lot of siblings or something?"

"No. It's just me and my parents. Come to the balcony on the second floor," He demanded.

You looked up and noticed Katsuki coming out onto the balcony. He used his quirk to jump down next to you.

"Just grab on to me," he said holding his arm out.

"What?" You blushed taken back.

"Don't be so weird about it, I'm just going to get us back up," he said as he wrapped his arm around you and set his quirk off again landing you both on the balcony.

"Come on get inside," he said walking into his room and waving for you to follow him.

You looked around his room and noticed he was extremely organized. Probably the cleanest boy's room you had ever seen. It was huge too, double the size of your room, including its own restroom. A few posters decorated the walls and a drum set sat in the corner.

Katsuki sat at his chair by his desk, "Just sit wherever I don't care," He replied when you both heard yelling from downstairs.

"KATSUKI WAS THAT YOUR QUIRK I HEARD!? YOU BETTER NOT BE CAUSING MORE PROBLEMS! EVERYONE'S ALREADY DONE ENOUGH FOR YOU!" A female voice yelled from downstairs.

Katsuki quickly yelled back causing your eyes to widen, "SHUT THE HELL UP I WAS JUST KILLING A DAMN SPIDER HAG!"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TALK TO ME THAT WAY I'LL COME UP THERE AND BEAT YOUR ASS!" She yelled back.

Katsuki grunted but didn't respond.

"Um- was that your mom?" You asked.

"Yeah, fucking bitch has been driving me crazy under this damn house arrest," he replied.

You stared at Katsuki dumbfounded. By no means did you have the best family relationships, but you'd never expected his home life to be this way. Suddenly, a lot of Katsuki's personality started to make sense to you and for the first time, you almost pitied him.

"Must be rough not being able to get some space," you said sympathetically.

"Hey, you said you weren't going to talk about it!" He barked angrily.

"Right," You looked around the room feeling unsure of where to sit, until you reluctantly decided to sit on the edge of the bed facing him sitting in his chair.

You let out a sigh, having no idea what to say to him now that you were here.

"She's um- not actually going to come up here, right? She sounds like she'd kick my ass if she found me in here," You joked trying to lighten the mood.

"Tch. Nah, she won't. She wants just as much space from me as I do from her," he grumbled, which only made you feel sadder for Katsuki. "How did you idiots find out where to go that night anyway?" He asked.

"I thought you said you didn't want to talk about it?" You teased him.

"This is different! I'm the one asking the questions now," he replied.

"Fair enough. Well, Yayarozu had put a tracker on one of the Nomu's back at the training camp. She gave one to the police and pros and then made another one for us to follow later. Once we got there Kirishima used some night vision goggles, he bought to look in the building. That's when we saw all the Nomu's and then pros started showing up. Shortly after it sounded like you just teleported there with the other villains," you explained.

"Yeah, it was some teleporting quirk that one villain had. Smelled like shit it was awful," he replied. "And then what?" he asked, encouraging you to keep going.

"We heard you and knew we had to do something. Midoriya came up with the plan for him, Iida, and Kirishima to rocket through the sky to give you an opening."

Katsuki grumbled, "Of course, it was that fucking nerd's idea."

You figured he wasn't going to be happy to hear it was Izuku who had come up with the plan, but you didn't intend to lie to him. "Then when they got you, me, Todoroki, and Yayarozu took off. After that, we met up with the rest of you and you know what happened from there," You finished.

"Yeah- you hugged the shit out of me like I was some weakling you expected to find dead or something," he spoke harshly.

You felt stunned by his words and snapped back, "Hey I was just worried about you! And it was nice to see you weren't hurt at all."

Katsuki rolled his eyes and you both sat in silence for a moment before he asked you another question.

"What kind of goggles did shitty hair have? Did he already have them or just bought them?" He asked.

"I'm not telling you," you said stubbornly still upset at his last comment.

"The fuck? Don't be a brat!" he barked.

"Then apologize! You know I don't think you're weak!" You yelled back.

"I'm not fucking apologizing," he said sternly.

"You're so irritating do you know that! You would think you'd have an ounce of gratefulness for your friends and me! We were risking a lot going to find you! You know that right!?"

"Of course, I know that dumb ass! I'm not a fucking idiot!" He yelled back.

"Then stop acting like one!"

Katsuki stared at you with a bewildered expression, he had no idea what to make of your sudden feistiness. "Ugh," he groaned running his hand over his face.

"Fine- look I don't give a crap about you hugging me or whatever. So, just fucking tell me if Kirishima bought those goggles specifically to come look for me," he pleaded.

You stared at him deciding if you wanted to answer. You figured that was the best type of apology you'd get out of him and gave in, "He said he bought them specially to look for you. Happy?"

"No, I'm not fucking happy, I don't want to owe anyone anything. I didn't ask you extras to come look for me," He grumbled.

"If it was any of us, what would you have done?" You asked angrily, fed up with his attitude.

Katsuki gave you an intimidating stare as he thought your question over. After some time passed, he answered honestly, "Depends who."

"Kirishima. If it was Kirishima that got taken, what would you have done?"

Katsuki sighed, "I'd go get the dumb ass, but I wouldn't have been as reckless about it as you idiots were!" He exclaimed and crossed his arms.

You rolled your eyes at him and stared at the floor as a long pause sat between you both and your next question, "What if it was me?" You asked gently.

Katsuki ignored your question and stared out the window for entirely too long before saying, "It's getting late you should head back. I don't want you walking back in the dark," he said.

You got up without saying anything and stomped over to the balcony, frustrated still by Katsuki's never-ending stubbornness and refusal to answer you.

"Come here, I'll help you down," he said, pulling you to him as he shot off his quirk again landing you both on the ground.

"Same fucking deal alright, call me while you walk back," he said letting you go.

"Fine," you said irritated, and pulled out your phone. "But I'm not some fucking weakling either you know," you snapped at him.

"Yeah, I know," he said, voice softer than before. "Look," he paused and seemed to gather his thoughts for a moment. "Don't think I don't understand what you all did. I get it, I just- I don't know." He grunted and you could see him becoming frustrated with himself.

You sighed feeling guilty for your attitude now. Obviously, Katsuki had been through a lot the past two days. It was asking a lot of him to be happy or grateful about anything right now.

"It's fine, Bakugo... I'm just glad you are ok." You spoke and made a quick decision to test your luck once more as you wrapped your arms around him and brought him into an embrace. To your surprise, he didn't push you off or make some snarky comment. Instead, he gingerly wrapped his arms around you returning the gesture.

You rested your head on his chest embracing the hug for as long as you could. You realized you'd never met anyone as hard to read as Katsuki. One moment she seemed irritated by your very presence and now you felt him giving in embracing you tighter. Your whole body froze as he moved to gently rest his head on top of yours.

You felt paralyzed as if any slight movement would have scared him away like a skittish cat. Although, a part of you wondered what would have happened if you were to have looked up at him. However, the moment passed, and Katsuki broke the peaceful silence.

"Told you, you don't need to worry about me dumb ass. Now get going it's getting dark. And don't forget to call me on your way back." He said, removing his arms from you and breaking the embrace.

Tags: @anon-mouse223 @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @sikuthealien @queenpiranhadon @melrs21 @poemzcheng @kazuumii @bakunianadecorazon @ur-crusty-uncle

[gulliblelemon]

Young Royals Fic Recommendations 2

I have been reading even more fan fiction recently so I thought I'd do another (even longer) favourites list. My first one is here if you're interested! Some are newer fics, but some are also from a while ago that I've only just got round to reading (I have a bit of a chaotic system - sorry!)

(I’ve included tumblr usernames if I know them, someone let me know if I’ve missed any and I'll add them in).

Part 3 now up.

obviously by grapehyasynth @grapehyasynth 124k words. Complete. Rating: M Normal People AU. Wille and Simon meet at school and start a secret relationship. The story follows their lives as they change and grow and meet again.

The road not taken looks real good now by stretchoutandwait @stretchoutfics 90k words. Complete. Rating: E Twenty two years after season 1, King Wilhelm has a wife and three kids and doesn't expect to see Simon again - until he does. (Honourable mention to Ex by the same author).

Protected by bastuba 44k words. Complete. Rated: M Wille has moved to New York for Uni. Simon is assigned as his new bodyguard. (The story has been expanded in one shots, my favourite of which is Interview).

Fuck The Monarchy by itsme_hi_imtheproblem @iwouldnevergetintofanfic 68k words. Complete. Rating: E Simon and Wille meet when they both intern at the Riksdag. (Honourable mention to I love the way you lie by the same author).

Almost Is Never Enough by this_time_its_just_me @in-amor-veritas 138k words. WIP. Rating: E Non-royal AU. Simon meets Wille again years after school when he starts a job at Wille's place of work. (Honourable mention to We Left Footprints When We Passed By by the same author).

you can stay by origamifrogs @princewillesothermom 23k words. Complete. Rating: E. Non-royal AU. Wille and Simon shared a childhood treehouse. Snapshots of their lives together.

No Tomorrow by p_brown @p-brown-writes 31k words. Complete. Rating: M Wille loses his memory of his and Simon's break up. Simon is called to help him remember the last few years.

Can We Just Pretend? by scissorsandstone 9k words. Complete. Rating: E Simon POV for the curtains scene in S2E5 (Simon is more conflicted than in canon).

Better With You by Spidaya @simons-purplehoodie 52k words. Complete. Rating: M Non-royal AU. Simon works as Wille's assistant at a music production company.

You Are Unbreaking by unfortunate17 @unfortunate17 38k words. Complete. Rating: E Medieval AU where Simon marries Wille in the hope of assassinating him. (Honourable mention to Stairway To Heaven by the same author)

Ace Of Hearts by Whiterabbit11 14k words. Complete. Rating: G Outsider POV vignettes of Wilmon through their Hillerska years.

perhaps more by willesworld @willesworld 28k words. Complete. Rating: T Non-royal AU. Wilhelm and Simon meet at an intensive summer program for aspiring writers.

i will, tonight by witchjeons @pleuvian 27k words. Complete. Rating: E Simon and Wilhelm meet in an antique store.

like he hung the moon and the stars in the sky 1.5k words. Complete. Rating: G Young Simon is infatuated with Young Prince Wilhelm on the TV. (Also has a lovely sequel).

finding home by Elin98 @ishotforthestars 19k words. WIP. Rating: G Prince Wilhelm disappears. Simon is trying to get on with his life.

I would drive on (to the end with you) by ceramicclown (@glassdollls) 90k words. WIP 11/15 chapters. Not rated. Non-royal AU. Simon and Wille meet at Hillerska, Simon offers to drive Wilhelm when his car breaks. They strike a deal to pretend to date.

[jayden-killer]

DREAMS ARE MY REALITY.

what would happen if your favourite fictional character appeared in your bed..?

Part 2

A/N: finally came back! Exams period is almost done, so I can mainly focus on writing fan fics and replying to your comments. Thanks to everyone who never stopped giving me support during these months.~ For this story I was heavily inspired by the "Reality" song by Richard Sanderson. Last night I watched "La Boum" and something clicked in my mind the moment the movie titles came by. I highly recommend that movie (and its main song!).

☆

Fantastic. Another day gone bad. Not only I lost my notes taken at university with great effort (who knows where they flew thanks to the wind...), but it had rained until the end of the afternoon and a careless car passed by at great speed, soiling me with rain and migo mixed together.

«Ugh! You fucker!» My feet stomped hard on the dirt, realizing that what had just happened was just the beginning of a long evening. I'll just open the front door, walk into the kitchen, and throw my comfort on the sofa that I look forward to.

It seemed like an eternity would pass on the way back, and my body barely even managed to walk, almost like a dead weight. Don't walk on the ground. That would have been the last straw.

«Shit,» I thought aloud, the moment my eyes saw my house from afar, «Finally home». Taking the keys out of the backpack was also, a real pain in the ass: a real tangle of wires and metal had formed there since my headphones had not been folded properly. A sigh escaped from my lips the moment I walked through the front door, searching with difficulty for the light switch. I didn't waste any more time removing the ruined clothes (and placing them in a water bath) and letting a hot shower melt my nerves. It was just what I needed.

I knew I had a smile as I lathered my body thoroughly. Now the scent of lavender was something calming.

``I should make some tea too``.

~

«Oh, now that's what I am talking about! ». My smile didn't leave my face, as I excitedly opened the book I had left hanging a few days ago, due to my exam period. Being under stress didn't help me find the concertation and desire to identify myself with the main character of the book. ``That's enough``. This thought flooded my mind. ``Now you can rest, because you deserve it, so enjoy your reading``.

``Thanks, other me, maybe you're right`` I replied to the little inner voice that I assumed had a satisfied grin on her face.

Yet my eyes fell on the mega poster that took up most of my bedroom wall: Miguel O'Hara. This man was going to be the death of me one of these days. I remembered the day when my heart wanted him only for me: in the new Spiderman, starring Miles Morales, many would have said that he was the perfect villain, even if I kept countering, claiming the opposite. Of course, his anger issues didn't help get people on his side. He was perfect in every aspect: tall, muscular, intelligent, thoughtful. My god, where do I have to sign to have him next to me?

«Too good to be true». I sighed aloud again as I pulled my attention away from the poster and back into my book. I think it wasn't long after I started reading and my eyes started to get heavy. I might have let go of the book, and fallen asleep with it on my chest. It had been a bad day in every way. Perhaps that is the reason I imagined hugging Miguel more than once. Maybe that's why I also felt my mattress getting heavier under my back.

~

I was awakened by the sun's rays penetrating through the curtains of my room. I loudly grunted at the thought of getting up early to do my daily cleaning chores around the house. But what harm would it have been to stay in my warm bed for at least an hour longer? Turning over, I had the feeling that my bed had gotten much heavier. Or was I still dreaming of hugging Miguel?

Slowly my eyes opened and focused on an unfamiliar figure lying next to me. I had a moment of confusion. Why...was there a person in my bed?

Only when I fully focused on who was in front of me I almost fainted on the spot.

"AAAAHH!" I grabbed the first pillow nearby, slapping the stranger hard several times, and leapt out of bed, the pillow still in my hands. The man, taken aback, tripped on the ground, and a great thud resounded in the bedroom. I hugged the pillow tightly to my chest. Oh, holy god. What was happening at that moment? I was so confused I could have sworn my face was as just as confused.

The man grunted aloud and scrambled to his feet, throwing his hands in surrender.

«What the fuck did I do?!» he yelled, in sheer confusion too. Maybe at that moment, I could have passed out, I swear to whoever you want! Because whoever I had in front of me was a real dream.

«Holy shit...»

«What?!»

I swallowed hard. «You are Miguel O'Hara. Miguel O'Hara was in my room, in my bed!»

[layce2015]

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

The Woman in White

(A/N: I am only gonna do the first 5 seasons of this show. I think I'd go insane if I did all 15 seasons lol. But, I do hope you guys enjoy my new fan fiction series.)

Masterlist of all of my stories / Next Chapter

"Dad, please!"

"I'm sorry, sweetie. But unfortunately, cancer is a monster you can't beat."

"C'mon, there's gotta be something!"

"You heard the Doctor..."

"The hell with what the Doctor said! I-I-I...I just...I can't do this on my own!"

"(y/n), honey, you are more than capable of doing the hunting buisness on your own than anyone I've ever known. And you know our contacts if you need any help."

"D-Dad..."

"It's okay, honey. I believe in you. I love you, sweetie, and don't you forget it."

"I love you too, Daddy. And I'll do my best. Say hi to mom for me." 

"I will..."

I sit up in my hotel bed then placed my hands over my face. I take a few deep breathes as I try to fight back the tears. That memory keeps coming back into my dreams. My dad's last day on this Earth, which happened just last year.

I let out a long sigh then brought my arms down and placed them on my knees, which was pulled up to me. I run my hand through my hair as I replay the memories of my father over and over in my head. I don't really have many memories of my mother as she died when I was very young. Dad told me that a demon had killed my mother.

That's right, a demon. 

I found out at a young age that demons, ghosts, monsters, they all exist!

Dad told me that these groups of people called the hunters are the ones that take care of those monsters. He also told me that he was one of them and he was one of the best. But the moment he met my mother, he decided to retire and settle down and then they had me.

But the peace didn't last long as a demon killed my mom by pinning her up to the ceiling and setting her on fire. My dad tried to save her as quickly as he could but the demon left. So then on, he decided to get out of retirement then started to train me once I was old enough.

I sighed once again when I heard something shift next to me, I look over and see a naked man sleeping next to me. I stare at him for a moment, kinda confused, but then I remembered that I went to a bar and started drinking, celebrating a successful hunt. 

Then this guy started chatting me up and we talked and drank until I took him back to this hotel and we ended up sleeping together. From what I can remember, he wasn't bad but...I've had better to be honest.

He stirred a bit in bed but doesn't wake up. I smirk a bit before I get out of bed and pick up my discarded clothes on the floor next to the bed.

After getting dressed, I grab my clothes bag and head out of the hotel room. I walk towards my dad's motorcycle, climb on it then turn it on and drive off.

*****

I, eventually, stopped at a diner and began to eat breakfast while also looking through the internet on my laptop. I skimmed through some articles when one catches my eye, it was an article about a missing person in Jericho, California. This young boy, Troy, disappeared on a bridge the night before and, as I continue my research, it turns out there's been other missing men that disappear around that bridge in the span of twenty years.

"Hmmm, interesting." I muttered as I sip my drink. I shut my laptop then finish my breakfast. I go and pay for it then get on my bike and head for Jericho.

Once I arrived, I get off of the bike and look down at my outfit, which was a white button up shirt, black pants and a black blazer. When you impersonate a person of the law, you've got to look the part. I grab the badge and put it in my pocket as I make my way to the bridge while I see some officers looking around the bridge.

"You guys find anything?" An officer shouts as he leans over the railings, looking down. "No! Nothing!" A voice shouts back at him as I walk up to the officer. "Hello Deputy." I greet as I walk up to him. "Hello, Miss...?" He started to ask as we go and shake hands. "Cooper. Agent Cooper." I said as I show him my badge.

"Deputy Jaffe. You look a bit young to be a marshal." He said and I chuckled. "Yeah, I hear that alot." I said and he nods at me. "Well, Agent Cooper, I appreciate you coming but...I think we've got this..." Jaffe started to say as he turns to the car in the middle of the bridge.

"Well, it's just I've done a little research and noticed that you had similar cases like this in the past twenty years. My boss found this very interesting and sent me here." I said and the deputy looks at me as another officer was looking through the car. "Yeah, we..." Jaffe started to say when the other officer comes up to him.

"No sign of struggle, no footprints, no fingerprints. Spotless. It's almost too clean." The second officer said when we heard someone arguing. "No citizens beyond this point." An officer said and I look over to see an officer arguing with two young men, one was really tall man with a little bit longer hair than the shorter man. 

I smiled as I recognized the two men as they argue with the officer. "Don't worry, sir. We're here for buisness." The shorter man said as he holds up his badge. "We've already got one of you here." The officer said and the men look a bit confused.

"They're with me!" I said as I walk up to them. The two young men look over at me and I could see a flash of recognition on their faces. "Bout time you two." I said to them. "Well...you know, traffic..." the shorter man said, smirking, and I shake my head but chuckle.

"They're federal marshals?" Jaffe asked me, shocked and confused. "Yes, they're rookies. I'm training them." I replied and he nods then he let's the boys through as the two of them look over at me, I smile and nod at them.

These two men were the Winchester brothers, Sam and Dean. I've known these two since I was a kid, their dad, John Winchester, and my dad were good friends and they took on some hunting jobs together. Before I was trained to be hunter, my dad would leave me with Sam and Dean while he and John went out to do some jobs.

Sam and I had similar interest in stuff and we got along pretty well. Dean, Sam's older brother, would always tease us and say we would end up together but Sam and I already had that discussion and both of us agreed that our feelings were just of that as a friend. Heck, Sam used to tell me that I was like a sister to him and I told him he was like a brother to me.

No, Sam wasn't the one I liked, in that way...it was actually Dean who I really liked. And, honestly, I still do like him. It didn't help that Dean was very good-looking but he had this persona of a bad boy. You know the ones, the ones you couldn't bring home to your parents. He also flirted with every girl he'd meet. I swear when our dads would go off on jobs and we had to go to a school together, Sam and I would take bets on which girl Dean would pick and how long it would take him to get with her.

The loser usually bought the winner either a soda or an ice cream with the little money we had. 

And if you're wondering who won the most, it was Sam. 

"I know my brother." is what Sam told me once when I asked how he was almost always winning our bets. 

But, yeah, Dean had all the girls fawning for him and I happened to be one of them. I was a bit shy and nervous when I first met him and he would kinda tease me. But then as I got older and more confident, I was able to tease him back which took him by surprise. 

And no, I never kissed or slept with Dean. I'm probably one of, if not the only, girl that has been a part of his life that hasn't slept with him. Shocking, I know but the moment just never came up. Sure, we flirted back and forth as we got older but I guess I wanted to play hard to get with him, just to make him go crazy and see if he was really into me.

But it's been a few years since I've seen them and the last I heard, Sam left the hunting buisness and went to college. I remember dad telling me that after he got a phone call from John. But I guess something must've happened for Sam to come back to the hunting buisness.

"You did have another one just like this, correct?" Dean asked Jaffe as we go back to the middle of the bridge, pulling me out of my memories. "Yeah, that's right. About a mile up the road. There've been others before that." Jaffe replied.

"So, this victim, you knew him?" Sam asked him and the officer nods. "Town like this, everybody knows everybody." Jaffe said while Dean circles the car, looking around.

"Any connection between the victims, besides that they're all men?" I asked Jaffe. "No. Not so far as we can tell." Jaffe replied.

"So what's the theory?" Sam asked after he looks at me and I give a slight nod to him.

"Honestly, we don't know. Serial murder? Kidnapping ring?" Jaffe said, shrugging, as Sam goes over to Dean.

"Well, that is exactly the kind of crack police work I'd expect out of you guys." Dean said. I whipped my head towards him and glared while Sam stomps on Dean's foot.

Dean holds in his scream of pain while I turn to Jaffe. "Thank you for your time." I said and I turn to the boys and jerk my heard towards our vehicles. They began to follow me. "Gentlemen." Sam said to the officers and we walked away.

As we put some distance between us and the officers, I turned to the boys. "Well, well, well, Sam and Dean Winchester. What are you boys doing here?" I asked them. Sam was about to answer when Dean goes and smacks him on the back of the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Sam asked Dean. "Why'd you have to step on my foot?" Dean asked him, angrily. "Why do you have to talk to the police like that?" Sam asked Dean, just as angry, and I shake my head.

"Come on. They don't really know what's going on." Dean said as I scoff.

"Oh, how I missed you boys." I said as I look at them.

"Anyway, it's good to see you, (y/n)." Sam said. "Good to see you, Sam." I said as I give him a quick hug then I look over at Dean, who had a small smile on his lips. "It's nice to see you too, Dean." I said as I pull away from the hug. "It's been awhile." He said and I smirk. "Yes, it has." I said then I look between them.

"So...what are you guys doing here? Last I heard, you went to college, Sam." I said. "We'll explain later but thanks for covering for us back there." Sam said. "No problem, we've got to have each others back." I said then I see a couple of FBI agents coming up to us.

"Can I help you three?" One of the agents asked as Dean turns to them. "No, sir, we were just leaving." Dean said. As the agents walk past us, Dean nods at each of them. "Agent Mulder. Agent Scully." He said and we walk past them and head off.

"Still driving around in that Impala, I see." I said as we walk up to their beautiful black Impala. "Yep. You still driving that Harley Davidson?" Dean asked me and I smiled. "Of course, it is Dad's last gift to me." I said as I stand in front of Dean.

"It's a helluva bike." He said and I smirked.

"Yeah, it is. Just like your car." I said as I pat the hood of the Impala.

"So, you wanna follow us?" Dean asked me. I nodded and Dean gives me a smile. "I'll see you guys in a few." I said as I walk away and head to my bike. Once I get on and get my keys out, the boys' car comes up next to me. I start my bike then Dean drives ahead and I began to follow them.

*****

Dean...something big is starting to happen...I need to try and figure out what's going on. It may... Be very careful, Dean. We're all in danger.

I can never go home...

I furrow my brow at this once Dean stops the recording of John's last voicemail to him after we parked our vehicles in a parking lot in the city. But that EVP of this female voice was very creepy and weird. "Never go home." I muttered, confused.

Apparently, John was out on a hunt, following this story of these men disappearing on this bridge, and has been missing for a few weeks so Dean came to Sam for help. 

"Yeah, that's what we're trying to figure out." Sam said. "And you guys think this...ghost...woman... is involved with your dad's disappearance and these other disappearances?" I asked and the boys nod then I let out a sigh. "All right, so...what's next boys?" I asked them and they look at me like I'm crazy.

"What?" I said, confused. "You want to help us?" Dean asked me and I smirked. "Well, yeah. I was about to investigate this case on my own but...the more the merrier. That is...if you guys want me to help." I said.

"No, no, no, that's fine! Like you said, the more the merrier." Sam said as Dean shrugs but smirks.

"Okay then...so where should we start?" I asked.

*****

"I'll bet you that's her." Dean said as we see a young woman putting up missing posters on the wall. "Yeah." Sam and I said as we walk up to the girl. "You must be Amy." I said and she looks up at us.

"Yeah." She said, hesitantly, as she looks us over. "Yeah, Troy told us about you. We're his uncles and aunt. I'm Dean, this is Sammy and this is (y/n)." Dean introduced.

"He never mentioned you to me." Amy said and she begins to walk away but we walk with her. "Well, that's Troy, I guess. We're not around much, we're up in Modesto." I, quickly, explained.

"So, we're looking for him too, and we're kinda asking around." Sam said to her as another woman comes up to Amy and puts a hand on Amy's arm.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked Amy.

"Yeah." Amy said to her.

"You mind if we ask you a couple questions?" I asked them and they look between us.

Later, the five of us were sitting in a booth of a diner, Dean, Sam and I sit opposite of Amy and her friend, Rachel. "I was on the phone with Troy. He was driving home. He said he would call me right back, and...he never did." Amy replied. "He didn't say anything strange, or out of the ordinary?" Sam asked her and she shakes her head. "No. Nothing I can remember." She replied. 

Then I noticed Amy's necklace, which was a pentagram inside of a circle. "I like your necklace." I said as I point at it. She looks down then holds the pendant and smiles. "Troy gave it to me. Mostly to scare my parents with all that devil stuff." She laughs. I chuckle a bit and I could feel the boys staring at me.

"Actually, it means just the opposite. A pentagram is protection against evil. Really powerful. I mean, if you believe in that kind of thing." I informed. "Thank you, Unsolved Mysteries." Dean remarks and I rolled my eyes at him as he takes his arm off the back of my seat and leans forward.

"Here's the deal, ladies. The way Troy disappeared, something's not right. So if you've heard anything..." Dean said then the girls look at each other, an uneasy look washed over their faces.

"What is it?" Dean asked them.

"Well, it's just..." Rachel stammers as she looks back at us. "I mean, with all these guys going missing, people talk." She said.

"What do they talk about?" Dean, Sam and I asked in unison, then the three of us look at each other before looking back to the girls. "It's kind of this local legend. This one girl? She got murdered out on Centennial, like decades ago." Rachel said as we watch her, attentively.

"Well, supposedly she's still out there. She hitchhikes, and whoever picks her up? Well, they disappear forever." Rachel said and the boys and I look at each other.

Later, we were in the library and Sam and I sit on either side of Dean as he opens up a web browser on the computer. He types Female Murder Hitchhiking into the search box then clicks go. The screen tells him there are (0) Result. Dean replaces Hitchhiking with Centennial Highway with the same response. 

"Let me try." Sam said as he reaches over to the computer but Dean smacks his hand. "I got it." Dean said to him but then Sam shoves Dean's chair out of the way and takes over. "Dude!" Dean exclaims as he hits Sam in the shoulder.

"Okay, children! That's enough." I said as Sam gets ready to type while Dean glares at his brother. "You're such a control freak." Dean grumbles at his brother.

"So angry spirits are born out of violent death, right?" Sam asked us. "Yeah." Dean and I said. "Well, maybe it's not murder." Sam said and he replaces Murder with Suicide and finds an article entitled Suicide on Centennial.

"Good job, Sam." I praised and patted his shoulder. Meanwhile, Dean glances at Sam as he opens the article, dated April 25, 1981.

"This was 1981. Constance Welch, twenty-four years old, jumps off Sylvania Bridge, drowns in the river." Sam said as he points at the screen where the picture of Constance is displayed.

"Does it say why she did it?" I asked.

"Yeah." Sam replied.

"What?" Dean and I asked as Sam continues.

"An hour before they found her, she calls 911. Apparently her two little kids are in the bathtub. She leaves them alone for a minute, and when she comes back, they aren't breathing. Both die." He said and my jaw drops a bit while Dean raises his eyebrows.

"Our babies were gone, and Constance just couldn't bear it,' said husband Joseph Welch." Sam reads as he scrolls down then a picture of the bridge appears.

"The bridge look familiar to you guys?" Dean asked and Sam and I nodded.

****

That night, we walk along the bridge, then stop to lean on the railing and look down at the river. "So this is where Constance took the swan dive." Dean said as we look down. "That's a nice way of putting it." I said to him.

"So you think Dad would have been here?" Sam asked Dean.

"Well, he's chasing the same story and we're chasing him." Dean said as I walk along the bridge and try to concentrate on the job as they argue with each other.

I just half listen to what they say as I feel like it's not my place being a part of this.

"Dean, I told you, I've gotta get back by Monday—" Sam said, slightly, annoyed as I pull out my flashlight and skim it across the lake below. "Monday. Right. The interview." Dean said.

"Yeah." Sam said and I look over at them.

"For college?" I asked Sam and he nods. "Congratulations, Sam!" I said. "Thanks, (y/n). At least someone appreciates my decision to go to college." Sam said as he glares at Dean

"You're really serious about this, aren't you? You think you're just going to become some lawyer? Marry your girl?" Dean asked him. "Maybe. Why not?" Sam said.

"Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you've done?" Dean asked him as Sam steps closer.

"No, and she's not ever going to know." Sam said. "Well, that's healthy." Dean grumbles and Sam clenches his jaw.

"You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are." Dean said as he turns around and keeps walking, Sam and I follow him.

"And who's that?" Sam asked as I was on Dean's right side and Sam was on his left. "You're one of us." Dean said as he gestures between me and him and Sam hurries in front of us.

"No. I'm not like you guys. This is not going to be my life." Sam said then he turns to me. "No offense, (y/n)." He said and I shrug. "None taken. I don't blame you, Sam." I said and Dean looks over at me.

"Are you kidding me? You're on his side?" He asked me, clearly annoyed and angry. "I'm saying it's his life, Dean! He doesn't have to follow this if he doesn't want to." I said, exasperated. "Honestly, if I could, I would go to school as well..." I said and Dean rolls his eyes. 

"Oh, you gotta be freakin' kidding me." He grumbles as he turns away. "But unfortunately I'm way in too deep with this job and this life. There's still time for Sam..." I said until Dean turns to me. "He has a responsibility to—" He started to say but Sam talks over to him.

"To Dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like." Sam shouts and we look over at him. 

I frown at this as Sam continues, mainly cause I know how that feels. I don't remember what my mom looks like, but dad did have a picture of the three of us when I was a baby. "And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back." 

Dean grabs Sam by the collar and shoves him up against the railing of the bridge, which made me jump. "Dean!" I said, fearfully, as I walk up next to them while Dean glares at his younger brother.

"Don't talk about her like that." Dean threatened then he releases Sam and walks away. "You okay?" I asked Sam. "Yeah, I'm fine." Sam said when Dean calls out to us.

"Sam. (Y/n)."

We come to stand next to Dean and see Constance standing on the edge of the bridge. She looks over at us, then steps forward off the edge. We run to the railing and look over to see she had disappeared. "Where'd she go?" I asked. "I don't know." Sam said as Dean shrugs and shakes his head.

Behind us, the Impala's engine starts and its headlights come on. The three of us turn to look. "What the—" Dean said, shocked and angry. "Who's driving your car?" I asked him. Dean pulls the keys out of his pocket and jingles them. My eyes widen as the car jerks into motion, heading straight for us. We turn and run. "Go! Go!" Sam yells at us.

The car begins moving faster than we were; when it gets too close, we dive over the railing. Unfortunately, I didn't grab onto the edge quick enough and fell into the water below. Once I fell into the water, I blacked out for a moment as the water felt like it was replace with concrete.

As I started to come back to reality, I felt a pair of strong hands grab me then I felt my head hit the surface of the water. 

I cough then look next to me and see that Dean was the one that grabbed me and helped me out. "Thanks." I said, before I started to cough. "Don't mention it." He said.

"Dean? (Y/n)? Guys!" Sam's voice calls out and I look up and see that he had grabbed onto the ledge of the bridge and was looking down at us.

"What?" We shouted at him.

"Hey! Are you guys all right?" Sam asked us. Dean holds up one hand in an A-OK sign while I nodded and gave the thumbs up sign, which made me realize that my arm was covered in mud. Grrreeeaaattt...I thought, annoyed.

"I'm super." Dean calls out to him. "Just fantastic!" I said as Sam laughs, relieved, and scoots away from the edge.

****

After getting back on the bridge and looking over the Impala, Dean shuts the hood of his car and leans on it. "Your car all right?" Sam asked him. "Yeah, whatever she did to it, seems all right now. That Constance chick, what a bitch!" Dean exclaims and I chuckled as I stand next to him and lean against the spot next to him.

"Well, she doesn't want us digging around, that's for sure." I said and Dean gives a curt nod.

"So where's the job go from here, genius?" Sam asked Dean as he settles on the hood on Dean's other side.

Dean throws up his arms in frustration, then flicks mud off his hands while I shake my head and try to get it out of my hair.

Sam sniffs, then looks at us. "You guys smell like a toilet." He remarks as Dean and I look down at ourselves. I sighed, annoyed, then the boys head into their car while I go over to my bike and we take off.

[my-own-walker]

Someone You've Never Seen Before

A Kyle Spencer Fan Fiction

frat!kyle AU, fem!main character, sexual themes, mature language, use of drugs and alcohol, frat boy antics

10.

Summer had officially taken her last bow. I felt genuinely chilly standing outside the KLG house on Sunday morning. The mid-morning sun shone just barely through the large willow tree in the front yard, the branches preventing it from sharing its warmth with me. The dress, sheer tights, and cardigan I wore did nothing to insulate me, either. I checked the time on my phone. 10:27 am.

We agreed to meet at 10:30, but of course, I was early. I felt rather foolish for waiting the way I was, trying too hard not to stare at the house expectantly. In an attempt to look disinterested, I placed headphones in my ears, putting my playlist on shuffle. I turned to face the street, rather than the yard, and a Two Door Cinema Club song began to play.

"There's a spanner in the works, you know."

Boy, was that the truth. Hannah, the perpetual spanner in the works, standing in the way of herself. 

The hours leading up to the date, from Thursday night until Sunday at 10:27, well, now 10:28 am, I went back and forth with myself. Contemplating every damn aspect of the meetup. Was it a joke? Was he out to get me? I didn't actually develop feelings for a frat guy, did I? The part of myself that was obsessed with my own morals and hatred toward all things Greek life died a little when I thought too hard about it all.

The spanner in the works. Standing in the way of myself, preventing things from happening smoothly, ever. 

My ego wouldn't even let me tell Lily about this. My best friend. The girl I told everything. Part of me felt anti-woman for not gossiping, giggling, and kicking my feet with my friend over this. Instead, I internalized it all. I kept the dismay in. A burden shared is a burden halved, but I refused to look weak. 

Life has a way of falling into place. Things have a way of working out. For everyone. Everyone except me and the people around me. The events that are supposed to go off without a hitch like a well-oiled machine come sputtering to an awkward stop on account of me. The spanner in the works. Hannah the spanner.

Someone tapped my shoulder. I jumped and spun around, tearing an earbud out of my ear, jostled free from the grip of my thoughts.

"Hey," Kyle breathed, smiling. He panted slightly, making clear that he had jogged to me from the door. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I laughed, grabbing his arm for stability, hinging at the hips slightly. "Christ, I was miles away," I managed. I started walking in the direction of Sleepwalker Coffee Co. (my choice, clearly), still holding onto Kyle. He followed suit.

"What were you thinking about?" he inquired, looking down and sideways at me with a smirk on his rosy face. The cherubic expression made my stomach turn.

"Do you want the honest answer?"

"Nothing but."

I let the silence drag on for a moment as we walked along, the sun finally peeking through the trees enough to warm my bones. I dropped my arm back down to my side, no longer holding on to Kyle. 

"Music," I replied, simply. A small lie, but I was at least listening to music. That made it partly honest.

"Anything about music in particular?" Kyle pressed. "Or just the complex, vast theory of sound itself?" His tone dripped with sarcasm, which I'll admit, got a pretty hearty laugh out of me.

"I guess, but I can't remember," I lied again. We rounded the corner at the end of the street, turning onto the street the coffee shop was on. We had just a few more blocks to walk to get there.

"Well, okay," he sighed, redirecting. "What's your favorite song, then?"

"Oh, you can't ask that!" I exclaimed, pausing my stride to look him in the eyes. "How can I boil it down to just one song? That's cruel."

"I can tell you mine, it's easy." Kyle kicked a small rock and it skittered across the pavement, landing in the street. He definitely would have continued kicking it down the street had it not landed too far out of his way.

"Oh yeah?" I challenged. "What is it, then?"

"Just tell me one song you like, and I'll tell you," he bargained.

"You're unreal," I chuckled, continuing to walk. "I like Sweet Jane. Velvet Underground. I don't know." My replies felt really flippant coming out of my mouth, but I couldn't help it. Part of me still disliked him, or maybe, wanted to seem cool.

"Ooh," he cooed, jogging slightly to catch up to me on the sidewalk. "Sweet Jaaaaane," he sang grabbing my hand and lacing his fingers with mine. 

"Ah, so you know it then," I laughed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. Suddenly all too aware that the two of us were holding hands, I took stock. It was slightly rough but strong. His fingers were long and laced between mine like vines woven around themselves. 

"I know it well," he smiled. "I love Lonesome Cowboy Bill. The Velvet Underground are so good."

"I don't think I know that one," I said, noticing that we were coming upon the coffee shop. I stopped right next to the stairs leading up to the door, effectively blocking his path. "Now you have to tell me your favorite song. Of all time. Since you can pick one."

His expression brightened. He drew his bottom lip between his teeth and smiled slightly, eyes twinkling with precious delight. "Oh! You Pretty Things. David Bowie," he grinned. My stomach lurched. 

"You like David Bowie?" I asked, with a bit too much giddy excitement in my tone.

"Yes, he's only like, my favorite artist," he answered. 

"We have a LOT in common," I gushed, grabbing his arm. He looked down at the small touch for a beat, then snaked an arm around my shoulder to guide me inside the shop.

+

We spoke about everything under the sun over the course of a few hours and a couple of coffees. I was so entranced by him that I actually let my drink get cold, rendering it undrinkable when I finally remembered its existence. 

Not only did we have music tastes in common, but we also shared a lot of the same tastes in film and food. I, being less experienced in the realm of movie-watching, though, agreed to let him show me a few of his favorite films. In fact, we headed straight back to his house afterward to watch one of said movies. 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but Kyle had proven himself trustworthy of not trying any funny business. Even still, I couldn't quiet the thoughts of him possibly thinking I was weird, or worse, that I might be falling for him.

All of those thoughts were silenced, though, when he closed the door to his room behind him. It felt different this time. I wasn't there out of pure obligation or drunken irresponsibility. This time, I wanted to be there.

"Which one did I say we were watching, again?" Kyle asked, crossing the room over to the TV, switching it on using the button on the side. He slid a small basket out of the stand and pulled out a disc binder full of movies. I flopped down onto the sofa, crossing my legs. 

"Wow, you're serious about film," I laughed, kicking myself for how stupid the sentence sounded as soon as it left my mouth. "You said Catch Me If You Can, I'm pretty sure."

"Right, right," he murmured, flipping the binder open, letting the left side land on the ground with a loud thump. He thumbed through the discs, the casings making a plasticky crinkling sound as they moved. "Wait, I totally forgot about this one."

"Which one?"

"The Lost Boys. You seen it?" he asked, an excited tone creeping in.

"Yes! But I will happily watch it again, Kyle," I exclaimed. "Tis the season, right? Vampires and fall go hand in hand."

He slid the disc out of the casing and threw it in the DVD player, then crossed the room to join me on the couch. He sat close, but not too close, and used the remote to start the film. The space between us felt like a canyon. In the silence waiting for the movie to start, it was so quiet, it was hard to tell if I was alive. 

The feeling came out of nowhere, knocking me in the stomach and making it hard to breathe. As if, all at once, smoke filled the room and replaced all the clean air with a stifling smog. I needed to come up for air, and the only way I figured I could was in the safety of Kyle's touch. It was a sudden and intense thirst.

I couldn't even focus on the movie. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't even breathe. The only movement I could rally was one of my eyes, letting them dart to the side to look at Kyle in my periphery. I had never known anything like it. Just complete paralysis at the hands of an indescribable need. A need for him and only him to simply touch me.

His hand twitched on his knee. I watched him shift out of the corner of my eye. I don't think I had taken a full breath since he sat down next to me. Then, he spoke.

"Hannah," he rasped. My name sounded so beautiful coming from his lips. I turned to face him and without delay his lips were on mine. I froze, unsure if it was real life. Unsure if he was actually kissing me. Unsure if I was actually enjoying it. But in an instant, I could breathe again. I could fill my lungs with fresh, new air that made me dizzy. I relaxed into him.

He stopped. "Wait, Hannah, is this oka-" he whispered, interrupted by my mouth reconnecting with his. My hand felt its way up to his hair, my fingers lacing tightly in his blonde curls. I slid closer to him and paused, looking him deeply in his eyes before continuing.

His breaths came out ragged and loud between kisses. Our foreheads rested together. My hand moved down from his hair to his chest. I could feel his heart positively racing beneath my palm. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, if that was even possible. I was practically sitting in his lap. I drank in the moment so furiously I felt I might drown. 

I felt like I was on fire. Like someone had set a slow and steady match beneath my center, deep in the pit of my stomach.

What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck is happening? my brain screamed, but my heart wanted more, and I wouldn't let cerebral obstacles prevent me from continuing to be that close to him.

He reached up and cupped the side of my face in his palm, deepening the kisses to something more, his tongue creeping its way inside my mouth. The warmth of the contact spread throughout my entire body, rendering me almost drunk. Kyle consumed my senses. 

I pulled away. Both of us sat there, breathless, staring into each other's eyes. The movie played quietly in the background. My heart beat so hard I was sure he could hear it.

"Wow," he panted, placing a hand over mine, which was still resting on his chest. A flush crept across my cheeks. "Was that real?"

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[popculturebuffet]

Transformers More than Meets the Eye Retrospective: Intermission: Robots in Disguise Season 1 Retrospective (Patreon Review for Brotoman.EXE)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to my More than Meets the Eye retrospective. Kinda. For those of you just joining us for the past two years i've been doing a retrospective of the Transformers comic More than Meets the Eye, one of my faviorite comics ever. While it is as a patreon review i've been more than happy to and in december we hit the end of season 1.

So now.. we're in a weird in between place, as season 1 for MTMTE is over.. but we still have a big crossover event left. And to judge said event fairly.... I realzied I had to go back and re-read Robots in Disguise to properly gage said event.

Yeah i've never been a huge fan of the 2012 comic Robots in Disguise. See I first read RiD AFTER More than Meets the Eye, having loved what I could read of MTMTE and wanting more. This... wasn't the right mindset in hindsight as the two works are completely diffrent beasts: MTMTE is about a found family of disfunctional robots trying to move on from war, making quips, and dealing with their trauma. It is a LOT of things I love in fiction: a bunch of misfits who don't really fit into the society their a part of, clever jokes, spectacular world building, and minor characters given their day in the sun. It feels at times like the book was made for me, down to repadeatly homaging one of my faviorite covers of all time. It was easy to love it and it only grows as I dig into it.

RID in contrast.. is an attempt at a morally grey prestige drama that on paper is about the sacrifices and compromises the autobtos make trying to rebuild cybertron, and in practice is about a weak willed useless jackass, his jackbooted best friend, a well meaning non combatant who means well but also is judgey as fuck, and Starscream, who easily outmanuvers them because a sock full of quarters with googly eyes on it could out manuver them. Wheeljack and Blur are also there and they are delightful but not used nearly enough . I gave the book an honest chance and was badly disapointed, and I gave it a second chance despite utterly dreading this.. and was once again disapointed. RiD is just not very good.

Now i'll give some caveats: the book DOES get better in season 2, with a fresh cast and premise that work decently. It's not on MTMTE"s level.. but I respect writer John Barber and IDW for seeing what they fucked up and course correcting. Barber's work isn't my forte, but the guy isn't terrible an does have his fans for a reason, I just prefer More than Meets the Eye and Windblade more, with Windblade being a second, much more succesful stab at IDW doing an intrigue on cybertron book, one i'll defintely cover at some point. It helps Windblade got most of the standouts from this book as supporting cast, but it's genuinely good and worth your time. None of this makes season 1 GOOD, by any stretch, but I wanted to get it out of the way that YES the series gets better. But you can also largely skip season 1 or read the wiki without loosing much for either RiD Season 2 or Windblade.

That being said.. Season 1 is a mess. It wasn't that pleasant to re read despite it's bright spots and it took a while to get through, an utter chore to slog through this one. One of the only bright sides is it taught me I CAN review a whole series in one post again.. just probably in smaller doses than my last attempt with new teen titans, which was great but just about killed me. So other series I dislike like All New All Diffrent X-Men, Dan Slott's fantastic four or Jason Aaron's avengers are now more within my grasp to actually tear apart at some point.

For now though let's focus on THIS disapointing series, see why it is and also talk a lot about how much this version of Bumblbee sucks and this version of Starscream fucking slaps.

Do You Have Any Clue What Happens Now?

Like more than Meets the Eye, Robots in Disguise kicks off with the Death of Optimus Prime, a one shot setting up both series and dealing with the aftermath of Chaos, the big event that ended the previous era of IDW and allowed a soft reset for this one.

So as a quick recap since it's been a long time since I tackled this issue: The War is Over. At long lost the Autobots defeated the evil forces of the decpitcons after all of them were combined by an elder god into one giant deciptigod and Megatron disappeared after hyjacking it.

The problem is what comes next which is a great hook and part of what makes MTMTE works: the war is over.. but unlike most transformers stories that get to end the war, we see what happens now everyones free.

The Autobots take command.. but it's not going wella s Optimus Prime finds out: the planet has reverted to a primal state and thousands of civlians, dubbed nails by the autobots and something the nails aren't fond of, have arrived and the vast majority of them want the Autobots to fuck off their planet.

The Nails.. are one of the biggest wasted opportunities of Robots in Disguise. The IDEA is good: a bunch of bots who either fled one of the two sides or managed to opt out entirely return and aren't happy with the planet or military leadership. It's a concept with a lot of depth as on the one hand the autobots have a point

While the Nails had every right to nope out of a war they were tired of, the Autobots fought long hard and lost a lot to get to this point and blaming them for something that's objectively not their fault, the planet going bonkers, isn't remotely fair. On the other.. the nails have every right ot want the planet back and to want a part in it, and to want leadership that isn't just the autobots.

The problem is the conflict is handeled with the subtley of a sledgehammer and thus BOTH sides come off as assholes: The Autobots make up an embarassing faction name for them, push them around and Prowl goes into a creepy tirade about how this isn't "Their" planet and they didn't fight in the war and later sics the deciptcons on them afte rthey agree to get explosives put in their brains.

The Nails Meanwhile spend the start of the sreies, especially the death of optimus prime bitching at the autobots, treating them as facists, and treating them all like they were complicit in the senates corruption, which only gets more galling after season 1 of MTMTE as most were fully against it.. they just couldn't do anything about it. Neither could you guys. It dosen't help they HANG OPTIMUS PRIME IN EFFIGY for the crime of STAYING AROUND ON A PLANET HE JUST SAVED.

The lack of nuance makes me just.. not care about most of both sides: The Autobots come off like their trying to consolidate power and remain in charge because they feel owed it, while the Nails blame them for everything. We COULD have had a good story abotu trying to perserve the past while acknowldging it's flaws and making a better present, but instead it's just the nails either whining or making entirely valid points that the autobots, mostly prowl, try to police brutality away because they can't accept they shoudlnt' be running things.

In the middle of all this Perciptor examines the matrix and finds a map, with Drift seeing it as a map to the mythical knights of cybertron and wanting to go on a quest to find it. Rodimus agrees, while Bee wants them to stay here and be miserable dammit because he is. While on paper Rodimus is running away from his problems in practice.. he defintely is but makes a valid point: Why SHOULD he stay on a planet that doesn't want him. And when Ultra Magnus joins with them, he makes a valid point: finding the knights could find something to fix cybertron. While Rodimus' hopes finding the knights will fix everything is a pipe dream, those are Rodders faviorite kind, their not wrong to want to find a solution that isn't just "Try and make this work" and forcing people who genuinely dont' WANT to help you to do what you say isn't healthy. This isn't a war for all time: it's just a disagremeent about what you want to do now your free of the war.

Optimus ends their squabble by giving them each half the matrix and fucking off, deciding to shed his former mane and his planet. The Lost Light leave despite Bumblebee's bitch crying.. and then seemingly blow up.

And this is where RiD begins, our cast is barely holding Cybertron together, aren't adressing their problem and now they assume the lost light is dead. So what does this add up to?

Okay TECHNICALLY this isn't true: Bumblebee sets up a state funeral for the bots, which is Starscream's first big platform to worm his way into high command, and Wheeljack brings him up once... but really you could take this subplot out and replace the big shindig with something else and nothing would change.

In contrast the messy takeoff... is VITAL to More Than Meets The Eye: the explosion it causes sends a good chunk of lost lighters to the planet bellow, brings skids on board when they investigate the planet, and brings the sparkeater on board to set those up for much later. And that's not even getting into how the opening arc of season 2 follows up on it, which i'll save for when we get there. Here.. they just sorta assume their friends are dead, don't bother investigating or thinking that MAYBE a ship with a quantum engine did some weird shit. It's to the point that when Optimus is told during his sub plot, his response... is to not remotely buy Rodimus could be killed that easy and assume they'll find them eventually. Which.. they do.

There's also just.. legistics. I know this is a pair of comics about giant robots, science isn't strictly followed nor should it be. But if the lost light exploded.. there would be debris. And they HAVE plenty of ships. Someone could investigate. If the Nails think the autobots REALLY commited this sort of execution, as their said to outright suspect including their rep in the main cast metalhawk, then .. why would NONE of the thousands of bots with functioning space ships look into it. Or the deciptcons once their brain explode chips are turned off. It feels like an excuse to just have the two not interact.. which they already had being out of range and with Blaster spending the season getting coms up and running again.

Anyways the series proper mostly follows Autobot high command as they try to run this planet/prevent anyone else from doing so. Like the lost light exploision this is a possibly intresting hook... that's utterly bungled. They do do things with it.. but they don't do them well. And the best way to get into that is with the characters starting with their supreme leader

Bumblebee: He's Tried Nothing and He's All Out of Ideas

The idea of Bumblebee being forced to take charge of the autobots is a great one. Tranformers has gone to this well three times i'm aware of, and it's a concept worth exploring taking what's essentially the team's kid brother and forcing him to take the throne and see if he can make it.

IDW's last attempt before this wasn't great, with Bee making a deal with the goverment that backfired horribly, and generally acomplishing nothing. So trying AGAIN.. was a smart move. It was worth a second try.

Unfortunately... Barber entirely bungled that second attempt. Bumblebee is TECHNICALLY leader of cybertron.. but really dosen't try to lead. He lets prowl do whatever he wants and whatever prowl wants is usually some form of police brutality, he argues with metal hawk but tends not to have an argument other than "the autobots aren't all bad mkay" or "All decipticons deciptisuck", and he overworks poor sweet Wheeljack, fostering all their super science shit on him and being mad when the guy is doing work of his own. It's VERY transparent in every scene he's in Bumblebee wants peace with the Nails not because it's the right thing.. but simply so the autobots can hold onto the planet. While the Nails are often written as overreacting assholes, as the book goes on they mellow out and most of their actions are entirely... justifable. Their horrified Prowl put bombs in the decipticons brains, they don't want police brutality, they want to actually elect a leader.

Every move Bee makes is to keep himself in charge despite not having a single fucking idea what he's doing. I could buy him as a leader if he tried.. leading: Tried finding homes for the Nails, making actual negotations with the decpticons, send out a party to go tame the primal planet so they can expand iacon , actually hammer out a government. There's a LOT to building a whole new world after a war, it's the reason Hamilton got an entire, incredibly gripping act out of all the nation building. But instead RiD just ignores the intresting idea of rebuilding cybertron's goverment and how it governs itself from scratch and just focuses on Bee whining or various things that happen for the plot. And by doing so it makes Bumblbee and those loyal to him come off like power grabbing assholes who care more about being appricated for fighting the war and less about making a better world to live in or even making the world LIVEABLE.

What makes this so galling though is how the narrative treats bee: characters talk about his "great vision" failed or say he might win the election. That last part is Prowl/Bombshell playing Bee, more on that in a minute, but most of the cast talks his ass up when really he's just a guy way in over his head, which could be intresting to explore.. but they just.. DON'T. Instead we just follow a bland dithering jackass as he fucks up till eventually someone smarter, with more charisma and an actual plan takes his place. But before we can get to them.. let's talk about the most punchable face in Autobot high command

Fuck Prowl

Yeah I tried to make a clever title here, I really did.. but most attempts lead to a storm of profanity as I genuinely detest this version of Prowl. And as a reminder like bumblebee it's JUST the IDW comics version. Animated Prowl slaps. Prowl's G1 deisgn is great. I'm sure there are other prowls who don't suck all joy out of a page when they show up or are the poster boy for why we need police reform despite doing a police on a whole other planet. I"d like to meet them. But this prowl is one of my least faviorite characters in fiction. In fact I can't bleivei I didn't add him to my jjall before now.

Welcome Home Prick!

Now I will give one caveat to this character: Part of the problem is the multitude of writers: James Roberts, who wanted Prowl for his cast, wrote prowl as a giant asshole who could never let the war go and got two people killed with his overlord scheme. Nick Roche wrote prowl as a scheming asshole who paranoidly plots. And tha'ts not even getting into his asshole characterization in books BEFORE this era.

John Barber.. dosen't walk either of these back, but wants Prowl to be a complex symapthetic figure, someone who is a calculating draconian asshole.. but who was driven there by his betryal by spike in the previous ongoing, and who badly WANTS to do the right thing. The problem is rather than make prowl a layered intresting character.. he instead comes off as an asshat who constantly tries to justify the horrible shit he does as "for the greater good"

It's not helped that Prowl's first scenes in this era leave a truly terrible first impression: The first things we see from prowl are

Him bitching about the nails and being absolutely LIVID at their suggestion the autobots leave the planet, not because it's a stupid unfair suggestion, but because he feels OWED the planet and was also once nearly one himself.

Conscripting the Decipticons into his own private army he uses to try and supress a riot from the Nails, instead making it ten times worse and only not getting anyone killed because Optimus steps in.

In MTMTE, trying to convince Chromedome to stay so he can use his ex boyfriend to do mnemosurgery, something Chromedome VERY much dosen't want to do, mocking his current boyfriend and then flipping a table like a petulant teenager when Chromedome walks out on his ass.

Using Arcee as his own personal hit squad , having her assitnate ratbat then trying to act like he didn't ask her to do that.

It's.. nigh impossible to come back form all of that and Prowl really dosen't. He spends the season brainwashed by Bombshell, in part thanks to trying to blackmail Chromedome and forgetting "oh yeah he can do mind things to me".. and NO ONE notices. He's horrified by that fact, but it's VERY telling that the only action of his that was hintingly out of character.. was telling bumblebee he could win the election. GENUINELY supporting his friend instead of trying to talk over him... is something that was a HINT he was brainwashed and the only thing people felt off. Said brainwashing also feels like it came out of nowhere, with not the slightest hint, and feels like a way to soft reset the character... which then fails as he spends season 2 once again out of his head... and once again in a way that isn't remotely out of character. I don't blame prowl for what he did under bombshell for most of the sries, he was brainwashed. But it's DAMMING that he did enough in ONE VOLUME before being hypnotized to earn my ire. More than Meets the Eye dosen't HELP nad IS a diffrent writer.. but even under Barber he's just the worst and I don't look forward to seeing more of him during Dark Cybertron and beyond. I DO look forward to seeing him hurled off a cliff.

All Hail Starscream:

Taking a break from pure, unyielding rage for a second, let's talk about something the book does right. I may be giving John Barber a LOT of crap this review.. but I can't deny he writes the best Starscream. There are other great starscreams from the hilarously over the top unsubtle 84 version, to the compitent but still hilarously shady animated verison and i'm sure i'll only find more as I watch more shows. Starscream rocks. But this one takes all that and asks a question: What happens when you take Starscream out of war and put him where his lying and scheming are an asset and his bad past is a non factor if he can lie hard enough: Politics.

While the autobots drown post war, trying to find their place.. Star scream swims like a majestic dolphin. Granted he's a Majestic Dolphin who still gets shit on a lot as it's starscream and everyone knows not to trust him and he has to work hard for his schemes for the most part... but he's still FAR more at home here than he ever was trying to usurp megatron. With the Decpticons, might made right: Megatron was on top because he was a great tactician, sure, but he was also capable of kicking anyone's ass who dared defy him, and had a death squad just for making a gruesome example out of anyone who betrays or tries to leave the cause. While Starscream was strong he couldn't muslce out megs or the various destructive douchebags he hired.

In contrast on Cybertron post war... he simply has to outthink and outspeak his opponents, who even if they weren't mostly fuck ups, still aren't really public speakers. Starscream first weasles his way into command with a few simple moves: He goes to the autobots in good faith, which they rightfully don't buy, tells them about a planned false flag attack by ratbat.. then once he's foiled, steps onto the stage at the funeral the attack was taking place at and boldly offer shimself as a formerish decipticon representive. While Bee never trusts the guy, for good damn reason, from that point on it simply dosen't matter: he's in the room where it happens. And often.. he's somehow the voice of reason. He's always got an angle... but it dosen't change the fact he's right or he gives Metalhawk someone to back him up. Not only that some of the bonds he forms are genuine. Metalhawk genuinely warms up to screamer and Wheeljack is the only one to try and make amends, to the point that after my boy gets horribly injured, Starscream makes sure he's getting healed and genuinely feels bad the poor guy got hurt.

On top of that once the media is restored for iacon, Starscream plays to the cameras, with his biggest play since stepping on stage coming in the annual: The Autobots find a titan in the desert while looking for lost comrades, trying to keep starscream out of it as Bee is deathly aware finding them would be some very easy bipartisan points for Screamer. Screamer shows up anyway... and when Prowl's croney keeps a gun traind on him and metalhawk, Screamer easily turns the situation on them: He invites a TON of Nails to watch and essentially make it so if he gets shot, it's over for the autobots, then goes down himself. It's here he gets a stroke of pure luck: The titan they've found... deems Starscream as some kind of chosen one. This isn't necessarily a good thing long term... but it does mean a lot especailly to the religious. Now normally this would mean nothing or months of trying to find proof.. but because Screamer's crowd crawled down to witness the titan once it was safe.. they all heard it.

At this point.. Starscream's basically won. The only genuine compettion he'd have in an open election is metalhawk, but either way the Autobots have basically lost control and all that's left is to wait for the elections. Sadly for Screamer he soon has a no good very bad day as Megatron comes back and Starscream spends the next arc as a hostage after going to rant at his former boss, with Megatron not remotely interested in compromise.

That said Starscream has survivied being humilaited plenty and while the Autobots are autobusy dealing with Megatron and the decpeticons, not to mention prowl combining with devestator, Starscream reminds us who he is: He kills Metalhawk, later being genuinely regretful.. but acknowledging Metalhawk was, genuinely, the only thing in his way. He was the only oponent in his rise to power left: Megatron was dealt with, the autobots had shot themselves in the foot 87 times, he feels terrible about what he did.. but killing Metalhawk looses him a friend and someone who belivied in him.. but gains him a Martyr. In the aftermath Screamer basically declares himself LEADER OF THE DECPTEICONS.. ER CYBERTRON, everyone backs him and he gets rid of most of his major opposition by casting out anyone who won't revoke their faction. A few autobots like Blurr stay behind... but msot of the cast we know are cast into the wildnerness and it's their own damn fault.

We get one last issue with Screamer , a spotlight that shows this job will be hard as while speeching got him INTO the job, he has to solve actual problems. Three Monologues is the best issue of season 1 as Starscream rants at megatron in stasis, reflects to Metalhawk's corpse and genuinely opens up to an injured in stasis wheeljack. Not only that Starscream also gets his own starscream, Beast Wars Faviorite rattrap. I'm mixed on this version of him: the character is very well written, being a slimy weasel whose looking for an angle and who gets rid of a local altruist for star scream by framing the guy. It creates an intresting relationship too as Starscream recognizes the behavior of his own.. and takes Rattrap into his administration. As Screamer perfectly puts it the guy Rattrap framed.. was a liablity. He liked star scream, genuinely belivied in the titans... but as Starscream brilliantly puts it altrusim.. is unpredictable. Rattrap on the other hand is who Screamer used to be before he became god emperor of cybertron starscream the first: he can not only deal with that, but it gives him a minon.

Before we leave Screamer I also just want to say.. I fucking love that he put on the crown from transformers the movie. I've always loed that he just... had to have a little crown for himself and that even if this version is less of a joke, he's still starscream enough to need a crown. It's also a striking visual in this context: Starscream is in control of cybertron. Primus help us.

Metalhawk: Don't Let him Be Misunderstood

For any longtime fans of this series or MTMTE, this section is probably going to be controversial but on second read.. I didn't hate Metalhawk. He's still obnoxious at first, he is the one saying "oh well you should piss off the planet you just fought hard to save from a giant Decipticon monster god man". It's easy to hate him as he's constantly telling our heroes they shoudl fuck off.

Yet on reread.. him doing that is WHY he's entertaining. See when I first read the books it was a few years ago. When I can't remember, my memory catches a lot of things but some things are lost to the enternal bog that is the back of my head, but it was before 2020.. and thus before George Floyd's untimely murder. As a result a lot of what the autobots do read diffrentlY: what they did ALWAYS came off as awful: even when the protestors are slamming the doors down, sending out jackbooted thugs is NEVER a good look, and the way Prowl talks about nails and treats them as second class citzens for simply wanting a voice is ... all kinds of chilling. Prowl sees himself as a police officer, and he certainly is.. but the worst kind, the kind most are who will gladly do shady shit to persue what they think is justice and oppress civlians because their "above them. "

So while said realizations about policing and the various police beatings of innocnet protestors made Prowl somehow even worse.. they made Metalhawk better as a LOT of what he's asking.. comes off more resonable. His wanting the decpticons free was kinda bonkers to me when i first raed it.. but now I entirely get that maybe putting bombs in defeated enemy combatants is you know.. a war crime. If you really want to put decitpcons who are dangerous away.. use a jail. Give them a trial. It's not great but putting them int what's basically a gheto that also oused to be a gun is horrible.

Metalhawk simply wants a voice and change for his people. He grows out of throwing the autobots out, being far more willing to work with them than they are with him and making plenty of valid points. He evolves as a character from a whiny asshole who disrpescts the autobots to seeing them as fuckups.. but ones who, prowl aside, are GENUINELY trying, with Bee planning to basically let Metalhawk takeover after the big fight at the end of season 1 before Starscream put some holes in that plan and also metalhawk. He's often the only person speaking up for a bunch of people who greatly outnumber the people in charge yet have to listen to thir bullshit, something that's become more and mor erelevant as congress fucks up more and more . It's hard to boo him when he's right: the autobots probably SHOUDLN'T be running the planet. They shoudln't leave, but they shoudln't be in charge. They shoudlnt be using deciptcons as easy soldiers and shoudln't keep the bombs in their heads now their vastly outnumbered. He's the voice of reason in a calvlcade of jackasses and a schemeing asshole. He's still annoying at times.. but it's really hard to hate a guy who grows out of his most annoying traits and ends the comic betrayed by the most obvious cantidate, something he only didn't see coming.. because he genuinely thought his friend had changed.

Wheeljack and the Rest: Robots in Disguise has a large cast, but most of the best players are off to the side, Starscream excluded. So let's talk about them.

My easy faviorite is one I wish Roberts had gotten like he wanted, the man the myth, Wheeljack. now I like Wheeljack in general due to his design, a nice faceplate, a unique head, it helps him stand out among the standard faces most autobots have.

Wheeljack seems to be one of the few Autobots genuinely trying for a better tommorow: he tries to make peace with starscream, and is frequently working on other projects before bee yells at him for not being avaliable to put out all his fires. He's kind, considerate and also a genuius, getting a nice moment in the sun when he sneaks into a decipticon ship and fidns out their up to some shit, then escapes the horde. I mean Metalhawk DOES save him in the end, but the fact he did most of this himself and gets both of them out himself is impressive. Wheeljack sadly just dosen't appear a ton and ends the season getting his head crushed by megatron. He does come back during season 2 and quickly becomes besties with Windblade, something we'll get to eventually, so good for him.

Blurr is a close third in the characters I like and is the only one of the autobots to really explore the ideas MTMTE was, the idea of "what do you do with your life next". Blurr does help out at first but his mounting frustration with prowl leads to him noping out, only helping out to try and find Ironhide. He decides to open a bar, much like Swerve , and his is a nicely diffrent joint: while Swerves is basically the cheers of transformer,s a place to forget your worries, hang with pals and get into hyjinks, Macadams, a regular location in most transformers place is that.. but also a melting pot, as Blurr soon makes a bunch of former decepticon friends including Sky Byte, a nail who has a great outfit, with him gladly defending his patrons with his good buddy jazz, whose barely in this comic for some reason despite, as always, being fucking great.

Next up is Ironhide. Ironhide does get a pretty meaty roll, as his recent ressurection has convinced him he's immortal and he's getting flashes of a possible future.. .one where the autobots are gon by cybertron thrives. Naturally everyone assumes he needs help instead of you know.. remembering that they followed the matrix for so long because it had robot magic or the giant stygian being made out of a dark god and 80 decepticons they just fought a month ago. What i'm saying is "I can see the fuuuuuuttttttreeee" isn't that farfetched at this point. So Ironhide goes to explore the wilderness with my boys the dinobots who sadly are all kinda douchey here.. but they still kick plenty of ass. The group disappears for a while after a signal drives my dino boys mad... but naturally they show up just in time to be the calvary in the finale. Ironhide is great.. they just don't really focus on him and I wish they did. Same with the dinobots.

Finally out of the ones who actually do stuff we have Arcee. Arcee... is a lot to unpack despite her short screentime. If you'll recall, and if you don't i'm so sorry for reminding you, Simon Furman's approach to the most prominent female transformer.. was to make it so she was FORCED to become female by a mad scientest, a tonedeaf, transphobic take brought about because Simon Furman hates the very idea Cybertronians have a concept of gender.. despite writing male prounouns into this continuity, thus showing they do just .. all male.

So how did Barber tackle this transphobic mess Simon Furman had saddled him and other writers with?

Yeah he just straight up ignored tha tpart for the first 21 issues. Arcee does mention killing Jhiaxus, the mad scientest in question, again, and again and again, but otherwise as far as RiD is concerned, Arcee is just an autobot who was tortured a lot by Jihaxius and who Prowl uses as his hit squad. She gleefully agrees to this... but it's clear she has no real sense of purpose. She DOES get a well done spotlight issue after the Autobots are cast out, with her wondering if the endless violence is worth it and deciding to join the autobots, wether they want her or not. It's a BETTER characterizfation than Furman's, a person with clear trauma trying to find out "what now"... but that big black cloud of "I done a transphobia because I hate them girl robots" hangs over it. It's an elephant in the room no one wants to talk about. I don't FULLY fault barber for it as IDW could've wanted him not to and it was a subject that would need a through, out in the open exploration. IDW was clearly willing as they supported Chromedome and Rewind and would continue to support out and out queerness in this franchise, Barber just wasn't ready yet and thus kept Arcee out of focus. He'd TRY to deal with this later at least but it's still super uncomfortable for now.

Decepticon wise.. they don't really get to do much till the season finale of sorts: they mostly stand around in a gun barrel and plot. Ratbat, one of my faviorite casettes of Soundwaves, is very prominent, trying to weasle his way into power early on.. but then Prowl goes and kills him and i'm sad. Soundwave , my boy, does fuck all till the build up to dark cybertron while Shockwave is in the shadows preparing said event , mostly done in optimus primes subplot. It's a real waste too as having more deciptcons actually try to reform or at least integrate into society would be neat, instead their just mostly canon fodder after a whil ewith a subplot about one seeing what prowl did going nowhere.

So speaking of Prime

The Thrilling Tales of Orion Pax

I haven't mentiond it till now but RiD has it's own isolated subplot ala the scavengers, just one that only lasts this season. Optimus left after the one shot and while he calls himself orion pax as does this segment... i'm just calling him Optimus like everyone else: Optimus goes on his own thrilling space adventures with his crew of Garnak, an ork like alien, Wheelie, who met garnak while stuck on a planet where time was constantly in flux and is still traumatized from it and Hardhead, a minor character turned Optimus buddy.

The trio had captured Jhiaxus, the mad science guy but got some criptic info. Jhiaxus quickly breaks free and while Optimus intended to just soft retire, he can't deny the danger he or his apprentice turned master Shockwave presents, and thus teams up with this motely crew. The adventures are only across three issue but each is fun, the characterrs ar eintresting if underdevleoped and i'ts neat to see Optimus like this: Grappling with his past, unsure of his future, and unwilling to be Optimus again despite everything pulling him toward it. His characterization also takes a nice turn as he was a minor prick in the return of optimus, calling the circle of light a cult. Douchebags yes, cult no.

There's really.. not much to say here anyalis wwise: these adventures are well done and I wish they were the main focus, and clearly Barber agreed as Optimus takes over next season, if sadly not bringin most of these guys with him.

THey are vital for the build up to Dark Cybertron, with Jhiaxus and his goons being Shockwaves main minons and hinting at his mission.. which Shockwave happily outlines in a spotlight later.. well happy isn't an emotion he experinces but he still outlines it: He's been seeding 13 powerful ores, tying in previous things like super energon and such, and the final and 13th one.. is ressurection, bringing people back under his control. His plans feel vauge in theis build up, but involve jhiaxus taking a titan right to cybertron, the ores, and beating up soundwave, with Prime persuing.

The only complaint I really have is the art, which isn't bad, it's just dark, cold , and muted, and not really my forte, working better to represent the dark universe during the crossover. It's not bad it's just hard to make out the visuals at times is all.

So with that we have one last bit of pre-crossover buisnes sto attend to

THe Old Man's Back Again

I did mention Megatron came back right? Because he did. And since he has a big roll to play in the crossover and in MTMTE season 2, let's talk about where Megs has been. Megs was left half dead after becoming a giant pile of decpticons, coming back towards the end of season 1, having what's essnetially the season finale early and the rest of the issues are spotlights dealing with the aftermath.

Bumblebee's reaction is exactly what you'd expect

I mean it's not unwaranted: it's megatron. He was a walking death machine and a brilliant strategist. It's not wrong to expect that even shambling and half dead he's plotting something.. because that's EXACTLY what he was doing. Bee DOES decide to spare him for a trial after being talked into it, but reluctantly and with Megatron guarded to hell. Unfortuantely.. the person in charge of his security is prowl who has a bit of a brain bug at the moment, having taken out omega supreme.

Yeah turns out a LOT of the seasons events were Megatron

The field driving people into rages was him, bombshell was working for megs the whole time, and Shockwave was working with him.. if only till it was convient enough to bail and go work on his own scheme. It's a MILD stretch and I wish it'd been se tup better.. but like Starscream it's hard NOT to enjoy Meg's presence: he brings a genuine threat and meanace, pinning our heroess to the wall and barely being beaten. He's not as layered as he was about to become... but he's still a clever villian who scoffs at Starscream's bitch crying, not WANTING a compromised cybertron but an empire. He ends up loosing but barely does, having still caused a ton of damage and left enough of a gaping woom for Screamer to take the crown. While this Megs is pretty simplistic, he still serves as a good foundation for what's next: a man who genuinely THINKS he's doing the right thing and that peace really is possible if you throw away those pesky civil liberties and his plan and near victory underline HOW dangeorus he is, why the lost light needs to nerf him to put him on board... and why Cybertron will BADLY need his help in the mess to come.

So that was Robots in Disguise and this review.. was difficult to say the least. It's not a great book but it has flecks of greatness in it and later seasons of this side of transformers and other series would pick up on that

Next Time in March: DARK CYBERTRON BEGINS. Bumlbee and the Bumblefucks try to protect a cyberton that hates and fears them, Rodimus goes into a stygian hole in space time, and Shockwave's plan hopefully makes sense.

[imptwins]

Why making any concessions to puritan rhetoric is a bad idea

(note for the uninitiated: 'anti' is short for 'anti-shipper', 'anti-ship', or 'anti-fan'; in this context it refers to people who get very vocally militant about opposing dark kinks/problematic ships in media, especially creative fandom spaces. Proship is simply the opposite, people who vocally believe people should be free to make/indulge in whatever as long as a line is drawn between fiction and reality.)

(note 2: this was written for cohost, i cbf rewording it lol)

I very often see people - both websites and individuals - making a concession to the people who come up to them yelling about problematic kinks and guilt by association and 'why didn't you block this person' blah blah blah. It's happened with a few BNFs (big-name fans) in the UTDR scene lately, I've seen it from artists I respect, from friends, hell I used to be in this camp myself. And, of course, it happened to this website about a year back, and the conversation has come up again recently due yet another tumblr exodus.

It makes sense. The most common stuff that antis go after is stuff very few people are into: lolisho/cub, ferals, heavy gore, heavy noncon. It's niche, the real-world applications are unquestionably vile, it's very easy to just say 'I also find this icky regardless of whether I really believe that all people into it are secret criminals, so, I'll just block the people who they say are bad and move on.' I can't tell you the amount of times I've seen someone respond to proship/antiship discourse with "I'm an adult with a job." Going to bat for this content is high risk, low reward. You're not going to make friends, you're going to lose them. YOU WILL LOSE SUBSCRIBER, etc. As a result of all this it's very easy to assume that anyone defending it must be into it.

But I'm not. I'm a writer who often deals with darker subjects, but most of the first-on-the-list anti stuff, I'm not into at all. I'm not into ferals or gore period, noncon I like purely as character exploration, lolisho I can enjoy from the perspective of what I call 'trauma repair.' There's probably a proper term for it. But the tl;dr is I've never been actively aroused by any of these things, not in fantasy and especially not otherwise. Whenever I write them, it's just fascination or character analysis. Whenever I have a 'this character can be any age you want' fic, in my head, they're 18+. Writing noncon is a weird challenge for me because I'm constantly battling with the alternate ending in my head where the victim breaks free, beats the shit out of their captor, etc. This isn't me trying to claim virtue through this, just stating my position.

So… Why do I go to bat for these things? Why do I get annoyed when websites block lolisho, when artists have 'proship DNI' in their bio, etc? It's lost me a couple friends, it's certainly cost me followers and general reach, it's gotten me blocked by countless people I respected the work of. It's earned me a few callout posts, multiple with 1k+ followers, and one particular obsessed stalker who tells anyone who will listen that I actually groomed a child (despite all evidence otherwise). It's caused me a really significant amount of trouble. Why die on this hill?

The answer's kind of simple, when you boil it down: fictional fantasies either affect reality, or they don't. This is why I go to bat for things I'm not into, but it's also why whenever you see someone making concessions to antis, it's never enough. Cohost banned lolisho last year (I believe it's still banned?? Unclear), but the antis still make constant callout posts about this site and its owners. Some of the team have even gone out of their way to state very firmly that they're against these things, they've gone above and beyond just 'ban the bad thing' and broadcast their views about the morality of it. You'll frequently see artists write some huge apology or clarification when a callout post hits, usually involving some variation of 'I do not condone x y z and think it's disgusting.'

It's never enough.

But it makes sense, when you think about it. By drawing a line, you have essentially agreed with the core angle of the people screaming at you: that a fictional fantasy affects reality. That it's dangerous. You will, by necessity, now have people start to work down the list. Incest, ferals, gore, noncon, sure. Any relationship with any kind of skewed power dynamic. Sibling-coded, minor-coded, postminor nonsense. All of these things are less easily agreed to than lolisho, I've seen countless porn artists concede with the core idea that lolisho is immoral, then they act like it's unreasonable that people just keep going until they're being told that a knot on a furry is bestiality, or a 23 year old dating an autistic 21 year old is pedophilia. These are genuine examples of things I've seen people dogpiled for. Seriously look up "postminor" if you want to see how bad this can get, on top of being absurd it's one-for-one the kind of gross ableist shit that Autism Speaks gets into.

But YOU AGREED TO THEM. You agreed with the core concept, that the fantasy must reflect reality. Of course they're going to keep demanding more; by the logic you used to agree with them, you are doing immoral things. If fictional lolisho is immoral, so are the rest of them. It's way easier to look at your average pic on baraag or inkbunny and go 'oh, eugh, vile,' but at the end of the day the cutesy played-for-laughs sleeping kiss, the dubcon bondage that you don't call dubcon, or the meet-cute where they're a bit too drunk, they're all immoral fantasies.

That's not even to get into non-sexual stuff. If the lolisho fantasy is wrong, so is running down civilians in GTA. Suddenly your notifs are full of 16 year-old Jack Thompsons with rainbow flags in their bios.

This really is an all-or-nothing debate. If fictional fantasies affect reality, then even the immoral fantasies that you're personally comfortable with, the cutesy coy playful ones, must be immoral. If fictional fantasies don't affect reality, then even the ones that make you uncomfortable, the ones that have you scrambling to close your browser in case the feds are looking, must be fine.

It should have become very obvious over the last decade that you cannot fence-sit on this. There's a huge internal disagreement going on among progressive/queer/compassion-minded people, on whether these kind of things affect reality, or whether they don't. You can learn to apathetically dismiss stuff that squicks you, or you can learn to sanitize everything you ever make so there's not a trace of contentious theming left. Immoral fantasies are immoral, or only immoral actions are immoral.

You're going to have to pick one.

[just-emerald-star]

Emerald Watches: Disventure Camp S1

Ok soooo I'm officially in break mode & watching various TV Shows + Movies!

We're kicking things off with Disventure Camp. I've been curious about this series since last year, being a Total Drama fan. You can follow this post (+ it's reblogs) as I go through all 3 seasons available.

SEASON 1 (SO FAR)

Little over halfway into S1 (8 Eps) and honestly, I dig it. Pretty solid. I've been told it's a revamp of said season so I took that into account. There's a few hiccups here & there but overall, not bad. Here's my tier list for the cast down below. Since I have more space here, I'll explain a bit more of my thoughts on the cast thus far.

Ellie, Alec, Grett & Miriam are in the top tier section cuz they're all very entertaining to watch thus far. I immediately fell in love with Grett while Ellie, Alec & Miriam came a bit later.

Lill, Drew, Dan & Trevor are all in second tier cuz they're cool enough for me be tuned in when they're around. I'll admit though, Trevor was in the first tier at the start, but he's just a bit too vanilla as a host. He needs a bit more spice to him, but not too much or you'll end up with Derek...more on him down below. Dan & Drew moved up to this second tier as I began seeing a bit more of them.

The Ok tier has the most characters cuz I've been flipping back & forth on them the most thus far. Tom was in the second tier but my god he's losing me. Not as much as his obvious love interest but maaaaan his stuff is mediocre when it's with Jake. Nick was fine but he wasn't much of anything. Gabby was just starting to grow on me but then Episode 8 happened. She gets points for being part of the better queer pairing in this season. Jensen exists. That side plot is dope though.

Fiore was originally in the last tier. I can't stand her but as of right now, I do appreciate her contribution to the drama across the board. I'll give her points for that. That little kid schtick was shit though. And Jake is a boring piece of toast who's way too dramatic & needs to keep it together. Him & tom's romance is...barely on the stove cooking. Plus, as a black man who's been exposed to more queer black/poc romance in the last few years, I'm a bit exhausted by queer white gays in romance fiction. I think I'm allowed to say that. I don't hate them in media overall, but Jake & Tom are barely cooking here.

And the final tier. Will almost had my sympathy (being a black guy & all) but man...he was just kinda dry & got fucked over by Fiore (hated that.)

And fuck Derek. Hope he'll get better over time but I don't like him as much so far.

Anywayyyy those are my thoughts thus far. Plz avoid spoilers as i rewatch mmmmk. I'll reblog my thoughts & updated tier list about the rest of S1 sometime tomorrow.

[thegoddamnwordsmith]

TMayNT SUPERPOST!

Hey all! I haven't really had a chance to post for TMayNT, which is a bummer, because TMNT is my comfort food.

I know a lot of people who follow me on here may be more familiar with me as a Transformers fan, but I was born in 1983. TMNT has been the constant fictional presence in my life since I was old enough to remember. Moreover, it was the major fiction that I followed through the formative years of my childhood, and while I haven't always been active in fandom spaces or interacting with every part of the franchise, I've always kept that flame burning in my heart and my eyes on what was going on with all things Turtle.

So I'm going to be posting the full month's worth of TMayNT in one post (put under a cut, of course, to spare y'all from having a stretched-out timeline). Also, this will give anyone who's interested a better idea of just what slice of the fandom I'm a part of, which I think is kind of fun.

Anyway, let's get on with the show, shall we?

1 - Your favorite Turtle - This kind of depends on your definition, but if we're just pulling from the Brothers, it's easy: Michelangelo.

He's fun and funny, compassionate and caring, arguably has the biggest heart among all his brothers. Often irreverent and irresponsible, but always dependable. His lack of discipline usually ends up balanced out by his incredible natural ability, and what he lacks in forethought he makes up for in thinking on the fly. I love all the Brothers, but I'll always gravitate towards Mikey first.

If we go outside the green teens, however...

I. Love. Slash. The original action figure was one of the coolest I owned in a toyline made of cool, but it wasn't until the Archie comics that I fell hard for the guy. And while he showed up in other fiction before and after that, when IDW utilized him, he was just an incredible character. Sure, he seems like a violent brute on the outside, but even as far back as the 1987 cartoon version had deeper desires, sentimental longings that were almost at the core of his rage. He's a character that's both straightforward and incredibly layered.

2 - Favorite April

Another easy one, the Archie Comics version.

First, I'm personally a fan of April being an investigative reporter, since it gives her a perfect reason to get into messes that would be on the Turtles' radar. But moreover, where '87 leaned more into April fitting 'damsel in distress' tropes, her evolution in the Adventures comics would set the pattern for future versions of the character. She started learning how to hold her own in a fight, to the point where she was on equal footing with the rest of the crew. She was able to have adventures and plots independent of, or only peripherally involving, the Turtles themselves. She had her own supporting cast and enemies, and even got to have a stable romantic relationship (and not with usual pair-partner Casey Jones)! I feel like any version of April that gets the chance to stand on her own in subsequent TMNT iterations owes at least a little to this Splinter-trained independent reporter.

3 - Favorite henchman

This one is a bit tougher than the last two, only because there's so many to choose from! But I think that Tiger Claw rises above all the others.

He is dangerous. He is ruthless. He is loyal. And worst of all, he is competent. You have a lot of villainous characters that can use at least one of those words to describe them. But Tiger Claw uses them all. Armed to the teeth, well-trained, and able to take even major injuries in stride, Tiger Claw is one of the most terrifying soldiers to work under The Shredder in any continuity.

4 - Baby Turtles!

Look at these little guys and tell me that they aren't the cutest Baby Turtles we've ever gotten.

5 - Best Leo (all incarnations)

A bit of an odd pull, but I feel like 2007 Leonardo was a great examination of the character, specifically how much his sense of responsibility and his perfectionism both drive him, and get in his own way.

Also the absolute delight he has in the final fight when he gets thrown into a room full of swords.

6 - Favorite mutant ally

My immediate go-to is to say "The Mighty Mutanimals" as a whole, specifically the original Archie iteration of the team. However, if we want to narrow it down to a singular character among them, it would likely be Jack Finney, AKA Man Ray/Ray Fillet.

A former marine biologist and ecological activist, Man Ray was not someone you wanted to make an enemy of. Honestly, the only reason he didn't have a body count was because of the people he hung out with. Man Ray felt that the ends often justified the means, if the ends were protecting the lives and environments of sea-dwelling creatures, and was not above using theft and violence to reach those goals. But even with all that, he was shown to be incredibly loyal, and even forgiving of those who genuinely wanted to make up for their mistakes.

7 - Best Turtle gadget

Does 2012 Metalhead count? Because if so, 2012 Metalhead.

8 - Favorite Turtle + ally dynamic

Raphael and Ninjara, again from the Archie comics. Aside from how much I was a fan of their romance, their relationship was one of mutual respect and appreciation for their strengths, but also being willing to call each other out when the need arose. The two genuinely made a great team whenever they went into action together.

9 - Best Raph (all incarnations)

This one is a tie, because the 2012 version of Raph is my favorite of all the major incarnations of the character.

Unlike many other versions before him, 2012 Raph was much more nuanced. He was angry, sure, as the character often is, but he also really loved his family. He's got a warm heart that he does share, just with a select few. He goes on multiple journeys of growth and change, and they stick as the series progresses. Also, he loves animals so much.

But of all the versions of Raph, my hands-down favorite is Future Raph, from the Archie comics. Older, wiser, having mellowed with age but still having that fire inside. He settled down into a somewhat calm life, got married, ran a restaurant, and still helped his brothers take care of the bad stuff going on in the city. He also lost an eye to Armaggon, learned to handle Leo's swords as a hobby, straight-up shot someone who threatened his family, and decked Hitler while time-traveling with his brothers.

How can you not love him?

10 - Favorite Turtle curseword

"Shell," for its sheer versatility.

11 - Favorite Splinter

2012 Splinter hits the perfect balance of wise master, trained ninja warrior, and caring father for me. Not only is he willing to take on any threat to his family, but he can fight on surprisingly equal footing with many of their foes, even the Shredder depending on the situation. He has the patience and wisdom to train April, put up with Casey, and even calm down characters like Leatherhead and Slash, who could easily (and even accidentally) cause him major harm. And yet, this is a father who has a cheese-themed phone for the boys to call him on "for emergencies."

12 - Best Turtle vehicle

The Turtle Van. The original and still the best.

13 - Best Don (all incarnations)

Something that always fascinates me with Donatello is how often he gets put into "crisis of faith" stories of a sort, usually putting his scientific mind at odds with magical or supernatural forces beyond his understanding. Nowhere is this more pronounced than with the Archie version.

Over the course of the series, Donnie ended up seeing Izanagi and Izanami intervene in mortal affairs, speak to the manifestations of yin and yang, encounter an entire world that existed out-of-time in the center of the Earth, speak with an elemental spirit of the Earth while being present for the events of Columbus' landing in 1492, and had his mind opened to the infinity of the cosmos when he held the Turnstone. All of this made him a much more subdued and grounded version of himself than many other iterations, without a doubt.

14 - Favorite Turtle movie

I love when the Brothers are written the most like teenagers, and nowhere did that hit the best than in Mutant Mayhem.

Not only that, this one had the unenviable job of having to manage a large cast without the story feeling bloated... and it succeeded. As a lifelong fan, this movie hit all of my notes and then some. I can't wait to see where things go from this one.

15 - Best Karai

Once again we go to 2012, as this version of Karai had some incredible complexities to her, both in her character and in her origins. The connections between her, Shredder, Splinter, and the Turtles made her entire character arc incredible.

16 - Favorite episode/issue

The Future Shark Trilogy (TMNT Adventures, Issues #42-#44). Featuring one of the most dangerous threats in the franchise, a time-travel tale that's both fun and has high stakes, and of course, Future Raphael. Runner-up would be "United We Stand, Divided We Fall," from TMNTA #38-#39 and Mighty Mutanimals #6, because it's hard to get over a story where the TMNT, the Mighty Mutanimals, and a handful of their friends and allies face off against Mr. Null and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

17. Best Mikey (all incarnations)

Above all the various versions of Mikey, the IDW comics have given possibly the most emotionally open and heartfelt version of the character. Mikey befriends humans and mutants alike, and really would rather not have anyone be fighting anyone. He has such a strong moral core that, despite how much he loves his family, he left when he didn't agree with Splinter's more flexible stance on morality when running the Foot Clan. If any one Turtle could bring you to tears with how much of a good person he is, it's this version of Mikey.

18 - Human version of the Turtles

Not something I've dwelled on much! That said, my favorite version(s) have been done by @thisistab so there's that.

19 - Best Casey Jones

A rare 2003 pull! This is the perfect example of Casey being this lovable guy who's also genuinely unhinged. Too many other versions lean into him being a grim vigilante (or a parody thereof), but 2003 showed him at his best - a guy who knows how to weaponize the fact that he's not quite right in the head.

That said, shout out to Rise's Cassandra Jones, for being a very different take on the character, and a refreshing one at that.

20 - Favorite Turtle merch/toy that you own

My copy of the Official Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Treasury, which has a very cool collection of photos of early TMNT merch, including the tabletop miniatures, an assortment of wild tie-in items, and even prototypes of some of the first Playmates figures. This thing is well-worn and will leave my possession when I die.

21 - Favorite Shredder

The 2012 version has been both the most human, and the most monstrous, version of the character to date. He walks a very thin line of invoking feelings of hatred, pity, fear, and sympathy. He is an aging man, trained in the ways of warfare and assassination, who refuses to let go of his grudges to the point of deluding himself of the truths behind them. And even the people and things that he cares for are still tools to him - no matter what he feels towards them, they can always be discarded once they no longer fit his goals. He is no less dangerous as an ally than he is as an enemy.

22 - Favorite Turtle duo

Regardless of the version, it's gotta be Donnie and Mikey.

Whether it be bonding over the same kind of nerdy wavelengths, Donnie being frustrated over Mikey's inattentiveness or negligent curiosity, or the two of them offering color commentary whenever Raphael and Leonardo have a blow-out, these two are easily my favorite to see interacting, especially during downtime.

23 - Favorite human ally

Oyuki Mashimi from the Archie comics. While she ends up more of an April supporting character, she nonetheless a bit of a unique type, being a Japanese street urchin that came this close to being a human sacrifice, only to get saved by the actions of the TMNT. She went on to follow them back to America and provide a no-nonsense, sometimes rough point of view when it came to their adventures. She also became April's trusted friend, roommate, and coworker, and even got to see some infiltration action to help the Turtles on a few occasions.

24 - Favorite Turtle + villain dynamic

Raphael and Xever/Fishface from 2012. It was a take on the "we're not so different" kind of relationship, but in a way where neither party was left feeling more lenient towards the other, and instead they seemed to have a mutual, if begrudging, respect for one another that would've been fun to see explored more, but was a pretty good relationship as it was.

25 - Your turtlesona

I do not have one, sorry!

26 - Favorite series

The Archie comics are my nostalgia. The 2012 cartoon revitalized my love for the TMNT. But overall, nothing even comes close to the IDW comics. The series has run the gamut of everything that's been a part of TMNT since their inception, from humor and wild adventure to raw emotions and dark twists and turns. This series, this universe, is hand-crafted by creators who know the Turtles, and moreover, love them. They have cherry-picked the best things from the past to bring back, and given them a rework to be even more beloved than they ever could be before. The stories, the characters, even the concepts have depth and growth that one might never have assumed possible for this 1980s-spawned property, and the fact that the IDW continuity lasted as long as it has (and isn't even over, just getting a 'soft' reboot/jumping-on point) is a testament to how well this all came together.

27 - Favorite mutant/alien villain

Armaggon, hands down.

A ruthless criminal with his sights set on mastering time itself, the cybernetic mutant shark Armaggon presents a threat to the Turtles and their allies in two different time periods. He's personally responsible for the loss of Raphael's eye, and if given half the chance would end the threat of the Turtles permanently by way of just straight-up eating them. He'll gladly work alongside other villains, but he's only out for himself.

28 - Favorite Turtle intro/song

Favorite intro would probably be the 2012 version of the theme (the standard version through most of the series), but my favorite Turtles song all together would be Mutants on Broadway, from the Shredder's Revenge game. As the kids say, it slaps.

29 - Favorite alternative outfit or design

Even tie between the Stump Intergalactic Wrestling outfits, and the Future Ninja Turtles outfits (both from, surprise surprise, the Archie comic)

30 - Favorite human villain

IDW's take on Baxter Stockman bumps him into the upper echelon of fictional schemers along the lines of Lex Luthor and David Xanatos, what can I say? Plus, he's still a bit of a mad scientist.

31 - The Turtles in your favorite style

Just go look up any of Chris Allan's work from the Archie comics, or pretty much any TMNT art that Sophie Campbell (@mooncalfe-art) has done.

OKAY! Did it! Whew! That took a minute. I hope you all enjoyed getting a chance to see my taste in Turtles. This was fun, if a bit taxing to do all at once.

[astroboots]

I was in a really strange mood the other day. Not sure what it was exactly - the spring, something in the water, retrograde Mercury...Whatever it was, it set me aflame with the desire for Oscar Isaac. That feeling is not a new one, but the intensity it hit me with was pretty remarkable even for me. So I did what every logical person would've done - got here to get myself some gorgeous gifs of his.

Long story short, a couple of hours and several delicious gifs later, I started to think that maybe it's a good idea to read something. Well, I actually specifically didn't want to read shit, but there were just two many texts coming my way, upon thirst scrolling. So, while I was half-heartedly trying to drive these thoughts away with an imaginary stick, I came upon the "Red Flags." And was met with something I can't fucking resist - long chapters.

I read all sorts of different fanfics for all sorts of different reasons. We all have our own preferences, and I am trying not to concentrate on mine all that often, because it will just result in me reading only specific things, and there is a chance I'll miss something really good.

But I still do have those preferences. And for me, THE most important thing in the story is for the characters to feel like themselves from the original incarnation. Not to a tea, perhaps. Not always, at least. But I want to read something they do and go: "Yeep, that's them. That's exactly how they would've acted. "

I've read a lot of absolutely brilliant stories that I see more like an AU situation. Great storytelling, amazing characters - it's all there. But the characters just don't feel the same to me. It doesn't make the story bad whatsoever. It's just a separate category for me.

And then there are those VERY rare ones that are just making every single thing right in my eyes. Of course, these things are objective. Of course, it's only based on what I personally want to see. But when I find them, I'm treating them like an absolute treasure.

Which leads us to the "Red Flags." The story that got me so invested that I ended up reading it till 3 in the morning because I just couldn't bring myself to separate with these characters.

After the series, Steven got so much love. Which is completely understandable. He is an adorable, goofy, absolutely charming idiot that you just want to be around. But I don't think Marc himself is getting enough appreciation. Which he should.

The way he was written here made my heart ache. He was portrayed so real, I was sometimes sure I could touch him through the screen of my phone. The man was so broken on such a deep level that he had to create a happy version of himself, to be able to cope with trauma. The man, who is denying himself happiness because he doesn't think he deserves it. The man, who is willing to give every single good thing in his life to his alter ego, whom he sees as a pure and sweet person.

One of the most realistic main heroines I've seen in fan fiction - just like her, I wanted to grab him, shake him up, and scream that he deserves love, deserves to be cared for, deserves being looked after and to be able to just be himself around a person, who loves him. To let someone love him. He doesn't deserve to be shout at, though. Doesn't matter if it comes from a place of genuine care. I'd kill for this man. Got every last bit of patience out of me to help him see how much he is loved and needed. How beautiful, how kind, and caring he actually is. How empathetic he is. How, no matter what little he thinks of himself, he is a whole world.

It's not even just the romance, but how he treats Steven, too. It's just beyond words. I never thought about it that way, but it was so heartbreaking to see that he went far and beyond with writing Steven cards from their mom. He did not have to do it, but he wanted Steven to feel loved. Something that he never got himself. The man, who grew up abused and hated by his own mother, who drew so many walls around himself, still remained a kind soul behind it all.

I want you to know that by now, I've read it twice over, and I'll be absolutely doing it again. Alongside all the one shots. No idea if it was intended that way or not, but they absolutely do read like a continuation of the main story.

I don't really have the words to describe how much I loved it and how I fell in love with every aspect of it. But I just need to thank you and your wonderful co-writer for giving us (well, me, personally😇) the privilege to read something that extraordinary🥰💙🥂

Hello lovely!!!!!

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to answer this. When I received this ask this week my face and soul lit up. It's so kind and sweet of you to take the time to write this and send it. I really appreciate you so much.

I'm so glad that you felt that the characters read like they were in their original MCU universes. It's something that I completely owe @thirstworldproblemss too she has an insane knack for storytelling and character voices that blows me away everytime. Between the two of us i'm the one living in London and yet I have a Transatlantic accent and I don't ever use British slang, and she was the one who had to britishify Steven and she did it with such skills I'm in awe of her always.

But also the characterisation of Marc, once again I owe so much to her, because she's the one who broke down the character and made me appreciate all the beautiful, heartbreaking layers of his character.

Red Flags has been such an absolute beast to write and taught me so much about long-form story telling and it has an incredibly special place in my heart and to know that people are still reading it, and that you had such a strong reaction to it fills me with immense joy. Thank you so much once again for reaching out! I adore you.

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/737790710290546688/hi-rain-merry-christmas-in-arears-and-happy-new

First of all, amazing response. You were way more polite than I would have been, and I think yours is the best answer that could be given because as rude as this anon is, responding with rudeness would accomplish nothing. But I find this message fascinating. I know Jkkers had a rough year. They are clinging for dear life to this fantasy they've created for themselves to live in. And it is pure fantasy. They are not fans of the real Jimin and Jungkook. They do not ship the real Jimin and Jungkook. They don't even hate the real Tae. They have twisted those three into fictional characters because that is what is necessary to maintain this illusion they are desperate not to shatter, and that should tell you everything you need to know. Anon admits to us that what Tae has shown over this last year is enough to make them believe he is in a romantic relationship with Jungkook, because they think they've found a way to twist it into something that reflects negatively on Tae. In their alternate version of reality this starts and ends with Taenn/e. But Tae's affection for Jungkook has been loud and clear a long time before that. They are just now allowing themselves to see it since they've found a way for it to fall in line with Tae being the villain of their story. They're getting so close to a revelation on this. So much of this essay comes from a place of hatred for Tae. I genuinely hope they start working through this in a healthy way. They said they have read through your blog, but that's an obvious lie when they start talking about how we hate Jimin and think he's a homewrecker. Personally, Jimin does not factor into my beliefs about Taekook. At all. I don't need to believe anything negative about him (or anyone else) to make Taekook make sense for me. I see Taekook, I listen to Taekook, and I do the math. Their relationship and interactions are enough. It's very simple actually. Jimin is obviously one of their best friends and cares about them a lot, and they care about him.

Hi anon!

It is a bit fascinating to me too. That anon came back last night and kinda doubled down on their takes. I've decided against posting that ask, since no-one really wants to read all that again, and anon was quite condescending to me, which I don't like. But there's a few things in their ask that stick out which I would like to talk about, so I'll elaborate a bit in my reply to your ask.

We all wonder why anons like that come here, and why they try to change our minds. That anon brought it as "i needed some of you to objectively think about how you view things now and how your views might change if it turns out that y’all were wrong", but I think we make them feel uncomfortable in their own beliefs. We are quite strong in our wordings and convictions about Jkk not being real around here. And seeing that conviction makes them... have a nagging sense of doubt that they wont admit to. BUt it's there in the back of their minds. This anon tries to come off as strong, but just the mere fact that they come here to convince us is the doubt speaking. They call me "the sanest Taekooker they have seen" but what they actually see (or what they think they see) is an opening. They don't actually think I am sane 😂. Anon is very stuck in their Jkk believes, and they need to think like this: I don’t hate Tae. I don’t understand him and i think he is weird and likes to troll or stir chaos (RM himself called Tae the king of trolling) but i don’t hate him. Because they are the ones who don't know how to explain Jkk while also being able to see the good in Tae. They are the ones who have to reconcile Tae using Jk for clout, with Jk also choosing to spend a lot of time with him, with Jk letting Tae hear Seven first. They even throw all members under the bus when thinking like this. They think Jk and Jm allow Tae to do this, to use the people he's close to like this. They think the other members are alright with this. They think Jennie is alright with Tae hinting at a queer relationship, but not acknowledging their own. THey have to think lowly of so many people including the ones they ship together just to maintain their believes. It's despicable really. If they were to hear Jm and JK's actual thoughts on this they would burn in shame.

It has not been a great year for Jkkrs indeed. There were times when some started doubting, narratives of temporarily splitting up, narratives of Jm pushing Jk to the side when he was working on Face, followed up by "they are still the same" when they did get a glimpse of them together. Ofcourse they are still the same, nothing changed between Jk and Jm except the lack of spending time together as much. But their freindship is the same as it ever was. It's only Jkkrs ideas that did not match up, and they had to be creative to explain why things felt different.

Jkkrs are great at finding far fetched explanations. They do it constantly by filling in the voids with fantasies. They also lack a subtlety in understanding how humans actually work. When anon came back their main point was that: I was talking about taekookers in general and i have seen you get some asks from toxic taekookers who believe that Jimin is the villain in Taekook’s love story and to be honest in a way, you all do whether you accept it or not. They then went to explain how Tae at times seems hurt by Jkk interactons, while at other times he doesn't seem to mind. In their head, that means that Tae deliberately chooses times to make us Tkkrs believe in Tkk, because why else would he: If Tae honestly had a problem with those kind of interactions, don’t u think he would have a problem with Jikook being together at all? So according to some tkkrs, tae can get hurt because Jikook are singing to eo, or because Jimin pinches Jk’s thigh or because Jimin goes too close to Jungkook, but he is fine with Jk having Jimin’s sweaty earlobes in his mouth, he is fine with Jikook drinking together late at night and Jk carrying Jimin in his arms which leads to Jimin biting his neck to get him to put him down? He is ok with Jk sitting down for hours watching Jimin centered content while having the most nostalgic look in his eyes even though this is something Jk never bothered to do for Tae?

Anon looks at this situation from a fan perspective and does not allow room for member's own feelings, experiences, knowledge, moods, etc. Anon does not even allow room for Tae's knowledge of his own culture and of his knowledge on Jk and Jm's characters. We just had the Korean-american anon explain how skinship is viewed in SK, and that is exactly what matters here... because Tae (being a very touchy person himself) knows that what Jk and Jm do (and what Jkkrs hugely misinterpret) is skinship and a bit of fanservice. Tae does not worry about them being more. He is not jealous of Jm in the way that he thinks Jm will steel Jk away.. he is jealous of Jm being able to do certain things and for how people receive that. With all their experience, Tae knows which actions of Jk and Jm will get Jkkrs all geared up... and I think that THAT is something he dislikes very much. Not Jm, but how some think Jk is Jm's and not his. Jm and Jk were never held back in their interactions and affections, while Tae and Jk are.. and that hurts. He wasn't even able to show how close they were in a platonic way. He was even made to make it seem as though Jk and him had drifted apart. So yes, Tae has bitterness about the situation, but he knows it's not Jm's fault. And he would never ask Jk and Jm to tone down their genuine friendship just because some misinterpret it. Jk and Jm mean too much to him for that.

Real life is filled with all sorts of different influences, having slept badly can already make someone react differntly to a joke than they normally would. People aren't static beings who always react the same way. People are influenced by lots of things: sleep, stress, hunger, arguments, lots and lots and lots of things.

Well this was long and I think I rambled a lot 🙈

[lil-tachyon]

Recommend dinosaur media besides Jurassic Park?

Dinotopia: All the books are super fun, but the first and last are the best. Just some rambling, cozy journeys through an imagined land of prehistoric beasts and eclectic architecture. The middle two books are still great in terms of visuals, but they lean too much into narrative stuff and I don't think that's Gurney's strong point. The writing feels a lot more like a child's first chapter book. Maybe that's what he was going for, I'm not sure.

Xenozoic Tales: Long time fans of the blog will at this point be tired of me recommending it, but I'm not going to stop because most people I talk to (even other terminally-online SFF artists) still haven't read it. It's obviously super pulpy but it really grows into itself toward the end and is able to handle some more mature ideas without ever taking itself too seriously. Highly recommend.

An Alphabet of Dinosaurs: Just a great collection of Wayne Barlowe's paleoart. It's a 10-minute read and it's aimed at kids but you're buying it for the art and its one of the only Barlowe books you can reliably pick up for less than $10 so I'd say it's worth it. Good chance your library may have it, too.

Dinosaurs by Thomas R Holtz Jr: Very accessible non-fiction work on dinosaur biology and cladistics. It's probably a bit dated now (came out in 2007) and the art is very hit-or-miss (about half the illustrations are obvious products of the era of early digital art when everyone was photobashing and throwing these awful digital textures onto everything, ugh...) but it remains a fun and informative read. If anyone has a more contemporary but similarly thorough dinosaur book, please let me know! I know there have been a lot of huge discoveries, especially from China, since this book came out.

C. M. Kosemen's (keep track of how many times that name appears on this list) and @simon-roy 's Dinosauroids: This was a HUGE influence on what I wanted to draw and what kind of stories I wanted to tell when I first found it and middle school and it still totally holds up. Check it out here!

Walking With Dinosaurs: Huge, multi-part BBC documentary from 1999 that presented stories about Mesozoic fauna as if it was a contemporary nature documentary. The CGI for which it was initially so famous is very dated now but the practical effects are great and it's honestly the narration and presentation that sells it anyway. Also recommend Walking With Monsters which is the same thing but for the Paleozoic. People routinely upload both series on youtube, they're not hard to find.

All Yesterdays by Jon Conway, C. M. Kosemen, and Darren Naish: Unique and outrageous reconstructions of dinosaurs and other paleofauna that challenge our preconceptions and highlight the limits of our understanding of their appearance and behavior. Also really cool for me personally because in my lifetime I've seen this book go from a neat project by people I followed on deviantart to being (rightly) considered a landmark in paleoillustration.

Dino Run: This game bangs and I pity the kids who weren't around in 2008 when this took over the internet for a brief but wonderful period

The Rite of Spring segment from Fantasia: From the big bang to the climactic end of the Mesozoic, all set to Stravinsky. Apparently the only Disney media I enjoy is stuff that The Mouse just does not give a shit about because this one's also on youtube.

That's some stuff off the top of my head, should be enough for now. I may add more if I think of it. Some parting thoughts:

C. M. Kosemen's youtube channel is great for learning about what I'll call "esoteric paleontology" for lack of a better term. Also he just does lots of weird, eclectic videos that I find interesting.

I don't hesitate to recommend Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal because he's literally never disappointed me and everyone I know says it's great, but I personally have not yet gotten around to watching it.

I don't promote pseudoscience, but I do think David Peters is a funny guy with weird, neat ideas. TLDR this one guy has a bunch of fringe theories about pterosaur biology and believes that because literally no one else agrees with him that he must be being censored by "mainstream science." Don't believe any of it, just enjoy the weirdness.

Any time you can pick up a dinosaur or other paleofauna book secondhand, I recommend you do it. Tons of outdated and cheap books that nonetheless contain great illustrations. That kinda stuff is a constant source of inspiration for me.

The Land Before Time is probably still great. It's been over a decade since I last watched it, but I have fond memories. Maybe time for a rewatch...

[peoplesrazor]

Someone mentioned this video recently, suggesting it for Ant to react to, and it reminded me of something I wanted to talk about. I won't be covering everything she says, but this is the video where she talks about The Owl House and Luz's trauma. I may make a few other points, but her section on Luz starts at 7.29.

First though, just a quick note about Korra. I was never a big fan of the show, and didn't watch much of it. But I have seen enough, and have watched enough other media, to counter some of her poison here.

So, let's go over torturing the main character. I'm not playing Lily's little game here and purposely using a provocative term. That's an actual writing tip. Torture your main character. Particularly, a morally good character. You have to test them, make them someone who is in danger, who gets hurt, who can fail and still have them not only win, but do so while keeping their morals in tact.

Especially, when your character is something akin to a super hero like Korra. You have to make that torture...well, more torturous. That's my counter for everything she says about Korra. She's the main character, that's why her beatings are shown and other people's aren't, and she's the Avatar, so just getting punched in the nose once is not going to cause a lot of narrative tension.

Once again, you get weird here. There is a point to be made about the way they decided to go with Korra. You could have pointed out that this show put a lot of focus on the Avatar and politics. And you could even make an argument that they didn't handle that well. You could have said that if they were going to go that route, they could have toned down the fighting a bit and not done things like had a killer robot. There have been a few times you have started down that route when talking about this show. Sadly, you always circle back to the scenes of Korra getting beaten and tied up.

Who is it that is really obsessed with the torture here, Lily?

Okay, on to my jam.

I'm not going to bother with the Psych 101 and disorder stuff that she hasn't the background to get into. That shouldn't even be in a video about a cartoon. She even uses text at one point to give advice, and also to admit that that part isn't even criticism. Lily, if you want to make a video about histrionic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and why isolating when you're depressed may not be the best thing for you, just make that video. Don't use your minimal knowledge on the subject to diagnose fictional characters.

The sleep paralysis demon Dana Terrace drew isn't real, Lily, it can't hurt you.

I'm going to cut to the chase here, feel free to watch the Luz section to see if you think I'm correct. This basically comes down to Lily preferring season one Luz's trauma response to her response in later seasons. I admit, Luz's take-no-prisoners, I'll do it myself, I don't need your permission to kick butt, response in season one is pretty cool. Especially the way she stands up to Belos in the finale.

You know what season one Luz probably wouldn't have been able to do?

Stare down Belos silently as he melted in the rain. I think early Luz would have had one of two responses. Either she would have tried one last time to save the jerk, or she would have been proactive and been one of the people stomping on his head. She had to go through her own trauma because of him to prevent the first response, and she had to have been given ample time to pull herself out of that trauma to have the sense of self to avoid the second.

And Lily, you gave the impression in your last Owl House podcast that you liked this scene.

Why did her response change? Because she did. She got new information, devasting information, and it changed how she saw herself. That wasn't the start or the end of the burden's weighing on her, though.

Throughout Season Two, she begins to feel more and more pressure. The timeline is pretty morose. Being stuck on the isles. Feeling like a burden. Feeling responsible for what happened to Eda's magic. Her promise to come home and stay. Missing the anniversary of her father's death. Not finding a way to make a new portal. Finding out about helping Belos.

Then she gets separated from Eda and King and her friends are separated from their families. Also, they released a literal child God and don't know what he's doing to everyone they care about. Just more and more and more.

As a result, she pulls back. Little by little she loses some of her positive traits and picks up negative ones. This, is called a negative character arc. As I've said before, it's very unusual for a heroic protagonist to go through this kind of arc. It's even a little ballsy for a cartoon to do so.

So, yeah, they aren't wasting time or getting a thrill by putting Luz through hell. They are giving the audience someone they can relate to. For the kids, it might not hit till the future, for the adults it could be a memory from the past, but for the teenagers? It's what a lot of them maybe going through now. Because, yeah, being 14 feels like you're living in Hell sometimes. Everything that goes wrong feels like it's the end of the world, and you often feel like it's your fault.

My opinion, anyway.

Also, Lily, you clearly liked her first more proactive trauma response better. Cool. Cool. Why then would you talk about her depression arc while showing a scene of her taking Hunter's place so she can face Belos alone? You know. A thing she would have totally done in Season one? That thing she did do in Season one. Did you have trouble finding enough scenes of her being sad to use, because it didn't happen as often as you are claiming?

Asking for a friend.

This ended up being a long one. I might make another post in the future and touch on other stuff related to this. What Lily says about Amity breaking up with Luz because of her behavior. Whether the people around Luz should have confronted her more often and so on.

[futurewriter2000]

Caring - pt. 4 - Final part

A/N: Two fics in a row. I think that's my new record in the past two years. I swear, I forgot how much I enjoyed writing this, but to be honest with you I'm just tying loose ends. I don't think I'll be writing much fan fiction. Only the requests I have left and the series that I have to finish. All the love.

XX

You knew that you had wanted him to apologise. You knew that perhaps, you over-reacted in such thing, but you couldn't get it out of your mind. You couldn't get the words he had said to you, in your face or behind your back. You wish you could be somewhat like Chloe, but you are not. You are nothing like those pretty blonde girls that make all men swoon the moment she walks by. No, you're the kind of girl that loves advent Christmas trips, without the beer, without the liquor with family, but you're also the kind of girl who would say yes, if her friends would want her to do something stupid. You weren't that typical reader, to read books in the library all the time, but you also weren't the kind of girl that would put so much makeup and take care of her hair every day for the rest of her life.

You were something in the middle or maybe something out of that range. Remus seemed to be both of those characters. In the beginning, he has always been kind and reasonable. He has been funny and smiling with that cheeky smile of his but for the past few years, he has been nothing but an ass. Perhaps peer pressure has got to him and through all those years of being friends with Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, finally rubbed off on him. Perhaps he was the mastermind behind all of that and you were just another victim of those master plans.

Yet, you still believed enough for him to apologise to you.

»I'm sorry.«

It was as if somebody said it right behind your ear. Was it real or were you just in the most delusional states by now.

»(y/n)…«

You turned around and found him standing in the doorway of your room.

»How did you-.« you didn't know how to speak. »-how did you even get in here?!« you rushed to him, pulling his arm and looking out on the hallway if anybody saw that. You were not supposed to be having boys over in your room, just like boys shouldn't have girls over in their dorms. It was a school policy to which you knew people broke it, but you were not one of those people. »You shouldn't be here! You aren't allowed to be here.«

»Or what?«

»Or- I don't know. We might get in trouble.«

»We aren't doing anything.«

»If the Prefect sees us-.«

»I'm the Prefect.« he gave you a cocky smile and you narrowed your eyes at him, then rushed over to your bed and started to clean it up. »You shouldn't have come here- not only because of the school policy, but because I don't want to see you just yet.« you said as you fluffed the pillows and threw them on the top.

»Are you really cleaning your room because you are having company right now?« he continued to tease you.

»Shut up.« you turned back to him and grabbed some pens and your journal from the floor, throwing it on the shelf of your night stand. »I'm living with three other pigs, this is nothing.« he started to walk towards you, but you haven't noticed, since you continued to grab things from the floor because you practically did everything in your bed, except have a good night's sleep. As a student, your sleeping schedule is always a mess.

»Okay, so you're sor-.« you turned around and you were surprised by the vicinity the two of you had.

»I am.« he said, not touching you, not moving, only breathing and watching you. »To be honest, I didn't know how amazing you are since last night. I judged you because my friends kept pressuring me about you and- it… it wasn't you. It really wasn't you to be the one that was the reason, I didn't want to be with you.« he started to speak, not knowing where this was leading either and when he noticed the two of you were close, he took a step back and sat on you freshly made bed.

»I just made that.« you joked and he laughed.

You saw the torment in his eyes and you should be happy. You should be happy that he cares this much, that he is torturing himself for you, but that just wasn't in your heart. You weren't that kind of person and you realize that at the moment you saw him torture himself for not having any feelings for you and having to treat you this badly. You sat by his side, wanting to touch his hand, but resisting the urge. »I understand.« you replied and looked away. »It's silly anyway… all this crushing and fancying. So I liked you and it was obvious- and I might have been annoying.«

»No.« he laughed and placed his hands on top of yours. He couldn't resist the urge, but it was something so naturally to him; to take your hands into his when he was trying to explain himself to you. »You're the one person that does understand me.« he said, but that hasn't explained anything to you. »I'm horrible at this.« he closed his eyes and tried to focus. There was a loud silence as he opened his eyes and looked deeply into yours. »I…« he paused, feeling something get caught in his throat. He cleared it and repeated. »I… have… feelings for you.« he said as if that would explain everything.

You watched him. You didn't know whether to believe him or to think this was the prank he wanted it to be. It was as if you couldn't trust your own brain.

Noticing the conflict behind your eyes, he tried again. »You weren't annoying. I was annoyed by every single thing in my life. I still am. I am grumpy, restless, annoyed person. I'm a horrible person, (y/n). In fact, my life is filled with so many problems that I cannot face and then you come into my life and you're so bright. You seem so light on your feet and you smile at me, every single time, with that bright smile of yours and you seem to have all the solutions. That was what annoyed me. It annoyed me that you were everything I wanted to be, you are everything I want because when I am with you, I feel like I don't have a care in the world. I have a feeling that I can trust you with everything- I have a feeling that you're my person and it took me so long to see it.« he continued to look into your eyes and trying to figure out what was going on behind them. »Please say something.«

It was as if that last three words brought you back from your train of thoughts and if you were honest with yourself, you hadn't processed much. »I just… I just wanted you to apologise.« was all that you seemed to say and he smiled, laughing.

»I think I can't apologize more than I already did, but I can keep going.«

You smiled, looking into his eyes and placing your hand on his cheek. »Okay.«

»Okay?« he smiled but hadn't got a clue what that meant.

»Okay, I forgive you.« you said. »And okay, I'd like to see where this goes.«