#buuuuuurn

[rosemilo]

When Caesar dropped this iconic line 🔥

[dukeofriven]

[misanthropiczombie]

It's time to start pinning my emotional well being on if a straw goat burns this year or not.

[starsparklez]

Tails and the mirror weasel line.

Scramble y'all eggheads. Unlike the alternate cutiepie, this boy is out to murder.

[itoldsunset]

not enough men have been killed for their crimes i fear, i don’t want jane to win in court I WANT THIS MOTHERFUCKER DRAWN AND QUARTERED

[elias-magnusnt]

Elias,

Do you have any standards?

Jonathan

Well I chose you, didn't I.

[barbwillbrb]

They call me a bakery not because of my cake, but my yeast.

I have an infection.

[carrieway]

im home aloooone that means i can be regina george

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

[blorbodiaz]

“things look bigger in smaller shirts” RYAN PLEASE 💀

[zanarkandfayth]

nothing like going to the doctor and getting a skin abscess drained first thing in the morning to really make your day

[azzydoesstuff]

WAIT FUCKING WHAT

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FUCKING HATES MINT TOOTHPASTE!?!?!?!?!?

Toothpaste companies must really hate people who are allergic to mint toothpaste, which a lot of people are! Apparently it's NOT supposed to burn like minty hellfire? (I'm fine with mint candy, it's only mint toothpaste that hurts)

I've been using Tom's fennel for years, but am now trying to find one with fluoride in it, and finding a toothpaste that is no mint and yes fluoride should not be such a huge and infuriating quest. still got some more grocery stores to search, but not even the children's toothpaste in the nearest one had any that were suitable.

[flatoatchi]

despite only applying it to one part of my face and following the instructions the retinol has fucked up my whole shit

[momhwa117]

No one has yet come to pick me up from the generator place

Soooo Here we goooooo

Xaden to Dain: For someone who's 70% water, you don't look very refreshing.

Violet: BUUUUUURN!

Dain: Water cannot be burnt.

Violet and Rhiannon and Ridoc: EVAPORATEEEEE!

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

marvel soulmate series ✨

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (slow buuuuuurn)

Summary: Life threw you a curve ball when you walked in on  your long term  boyfriend making out with someone who definitely wasn’t  you. Since  living with him was no longer an option, you’ve ventured out  at the  advice of a work friend and found the absolute perfect loft to  reside  in. The only issue?

You suddenly have four very odd roommates. 

[00]: Welcome Home

[01]: Rebound Sex

[02]: Mismatched

[03]: Back Up Plan

[04]: Be Nice

MARVEL ONESHOTS

Sharing is Caring [Bucky Barnes x Reader] [1,262 words]

Fate is Definitely Drunk

[Steve Rogers x Reader]

Summary: Everyone has the words their soulmate will first say to them written on their skin somewhere. You have the most average words in the known universe so you assume you’ll have a soulmate that matches that. Fate ain’t happy you underestimated her.

[one] [two] [three]

The Asgardian Way

[Thor Odinson x Reader]

Summary: When a human hits puberty they get the name of their soulmate written on their wrist. You got the name of a mythological figure and assumed it meant his parents were real big fans of Norse legend. Then aliens fell out of the sky and everything changed.

Interwoven, but Tangled

[Sam Wilson x Reader]

Summary: The red string of fate connects the pinky of one soulmate to the pinky of the other. Not everyone can see them, but since you had this rare gift you figured it was your duty to make sure as many soulmates found each other. At the very least, you could make sure your friends found their special person. What happens when your best friend’s boyfriend isn’t her soulmate though?

[one] [two]

The Color of Blood

[Bucky Barnes x Reader]

Summary: In this world, a person didn’t discover color until they locked eyes with their soulmate. As an agent of SHIELD, finding your soulmate was hardly a priority. Especially since you were currently dealing with the shocking discovery that HYDRA had been pulling the strings behind SHIELD actions this entire time. Life was all about timing, and you were about to find out that your timing was absolute shit.

[one] [two] [three] [four]

Stolen

[Tony Stark x Reader]

Summary: You were an imposter. You were desperate. You were trapped with no other way out. The fact of the matter was, you hadn’t been born with words on your skin, but now you were wearing the words of a dead girl. How far would you go to save someone you loved?

[one] [two] [three]

[importantdestinydefendor]

This is peak. My ultimate form!!

@whenskiesaregreyy @welome-bob @sticksstone if you want and anybody else who wants to do it lol (it's free real estate)

fuck it. worm on a string picrew chain. let's fucking go

happy worm creation my friends

tagging @areyoudoingthis @cursed-coat-of-homosexuality @peanutbutterex @tfemteach @piratecaptainscaptainpirates (no pressure 💛)