#but you know it's him

[mtnikolle]

@flashfictionfridayofficial "Fool's Quest"

wc: 865

Summary: Naruto wants to use his newest homework assignment to finally learn about his family. He gets something else instead.

“Our last thing for the day, a bit of homework for the weekend,” Iruka-sensei called out near the end of class. The groans were epic, and Iruka managed to keep his smirk on the inside rather than let it show on his face.

He turned to write on the board “Family Techniques,” then turned to face the class again.

“This weekend, you will start some research on shinobi techniques. For those of you with other shinobi in your family, you will find out about their techniques. For those of you who will be the first shinobi in your family, you will need to research the techniques of a Konoha shinobi of your choice. You will have time next week to work on your reports. I’m handing out a sheet with the expectations and some suggested questions to start off your conversation.”

Iruka-sensei moved down the rows of the classroom handing out a page to each student. After he was finished, he dismissed the class for the weekend.

Naruto was… well, he wasn’t sure exactly what he felt. He didn’t have any family, which made him sad, but he also didn’t know if he had any family techniques. It also made him a little excited, because maybe he could find out about an awesome ninja that he was related to! He was also a little disheartened because he <i>hated</i> research. Reading was so hard and boring and slow. Maybe learning cool ninja stuff would make up for it… He wasn’t exactly sure where to start, either.

Naruto started trudging home, thinking about it. Ugh, maybe he’d have to start with the, he heaved a sigh, library. Or! He could ask the old man! That would be way better! And easier! And the Hokage had to know everything about everyone’s family, right?!

Naruto made an abrupt about face and sprinted back to the academy. He’d head straight to the old man’s office to ask! This was gonna be his best report ever!

Thanks to his previous dawdle, Naruto made it back to the building in no time at all. Now, though, he had to be careful. The adults who were here could be mean, it was better just to keep quiet until he made it to the old man’s office. He moved really close to the walls and walked slowly and quietly through rooms and down hallways. Some of the rooms, he waited until the people had passed through, so no one would see him. Others, like the mission room, he waited until they were busy, so no one would pay attention to him. He worried that Iruka-sensei had spotted him moving through the room, but he didn’t say anything or glare or anything else, so Naruto figured he was fine.

Just before he got to the old man’s office, he stopped and peaked around the corner. He wrinkled his nose and squinted–that guy was still at the desk in front of the door. Shouldn’t he have gone home by now…? Naruto peaked again. The office door was open just a little… just enough… Naruto bolted for the door! He made it through before that other guy made it around his desk!

“Hey, Old Man!” Naruto shouted as soon as he burst through the door. The old man jumped and sent papers all over. Naruto could see that they were writing, but not the small, neat writing, and full pages that meant it was just those stupid puzzles he did rather than anything important. Then waved away the desk guy while Naruto continued, “Iruka-sensei gave us homework and you gotta help me!”

The Hokage’s face changed from relaxed to impassive in an instant, but Naruto plowed right on though, “We gotta find out about our families, so you gotta tell me all about the Uzumaki!” He ended on a grin that was brighter than the sun.

“Unfortunately, Naruto, I don't know anything about your family,” the Hokage responded. Naruto’s heart plummeted. “You could try looking in the Academy library, though. There is usually information on shinobi families there.”

“Sure, sure, whatever, old man.” And Naruto turned and slumped out the door.

He hadn't travelled more than two steps away when he heard a deep, gravelly voice—probably another old guy.

“Why send him on a fool's quest? You know we removed every mention of the Uzumaki from unclassified sources.”

Naruto froze.

“Better that he believes there is nothing to learn as soon as possible and stops seeking. No good can come from that,” was the Hokage's response.

A small part of Naruto was relieved that the desk guy wasn't there, while the largest part of Naruto was consumed with disbelief, anger, sadness, confusion, and inevitability that the only adult in his young life that he had considered ‘family’ was just like every other adult around. He could never trust any of them. He would never have family, whatever that really meant.

It took long minutes and every bit of will he had for Naruto to pull himself together enough to paste on his brightest, happiest, most carefree grin so that he could make it home to his lonely apartment to grieve the end of a dream.

[paintedcrows]

Did anyone tell Ford (bonus doodles: Family Movie Night, 70s Classics)

[swan2swan]

Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

[pangur-and-grim]

one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."

I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[do-you-know-this-queer-character]

Do you know this queer character?

Castiel is Queer and Agender or Genderfluid, and uses varying pronouns based on presentation!

[jabberwick]

Human Bill Cipher

(Based on Alex Hirsch's "canon" design)

And just to be clear, writing dissertations at me justifying why he should instead be a conventionally attractive twink will involuntarily cause me to draw him with even fewer teeth.

[gongyussy]

meanwhile notes put up by the guy hired by my dad to help with foreign guests at his little ryokan in rural japan (“my english is not perfect,” said the guy earnestly. “but i think i can always get the meaning across.” “great,” said my dad. “that’s all that matters.”):

[retquits]

save me winter elliott stardew valley... winter elliott stardew valley save me......

[paintedcrows]

Revelations - Little peek at a longer continuation to my Stan & Bill accidental internet buddies comic!

After the reveal, Stan initially doesn't want to tell Ford his (former) internet best friend was Bill Cipher, because he doesn't want him to worry. Stan later doesn't want to tell Ford because he (and Bill) would rather die.

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Jason: I’m dating Roy

Bruce: Hmm (derogatory)

Jason: He has a daughter which makes you a grandad

Bruce: Hmm (delighted)

[hinamie]

mentor

[millificent]

Every Nico Di Angelo fan focusing more on the background of the episode than the actual plot

[seren-dipitous-art]

I’ve been obsessed with the Olympics for the past week, and obsessed with Dick Grayson for longer, so here’s the crossover we all deserve.

Plus, gorgeous sweaty acrobat in gymnastics poses? Only positives.