#but you Know taylor is gonna roast him about it

[trombonechurchill]

🦇🦇🦇 3min17sec

If no one got me I know Lilac got me (thank you for being my number 1 vampire cheerleader 🥰) @3min17sec

🦇- Buddetaylor Dracula!AU

Buck's head was stuffed with cotton wool, vision fuzzy and bleeding black at the edges as he turned his head. The cool weight of Eddie's hand on his cheek the only thing still tethering him to consciousness, his eyes catching on mirror shine of light in Eddie's gaze like fly paper. "I'm sorry about- About everything," Eddie said softly, leaning in closer as Buck's eyelids fluttered shut. Unconsciousness fell over him, like Eddie had pushed him off a ledge and Buck let himself drift far far down, feeling only the cold brush of lips on his forehead before it fully enveloped him. Somewhere, distantly, Buck thought he heard Taylor laugh.

[tpwk-formula1]

Holy sh*t, how did you make your menu look that amazing?! I'm in awe no joke. So this is gonna be rough, brace with me (my english sucks.) So could i order a deep dish pizza with alfredo sauce, basil, banana peppers, spinach, roasted mushrooms, goat cheese, eggplant and Oregano. (Damn thats a lot oop-. Kind of sounds disgusting IRL but we dont judge.) With a sprite, Truly and a mojito plus a little dessert. Served by Oliver Bearman please? Thank youuuu <3 (its okay if you're too busy for this)

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

deep dish teammates to lovers alfredo sweet sex basil "I love to watch my cum leak from your pretty pussy" banana peppers "Look so pretty riding my cock" spinach "Awe I love to know I stretched you out just enough to take all my cock" roasted mushroom “Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy” goat cheese "Look so pretty like this" eggplant "Are you sure you want me to take it baby?" oregano "Please, let me cum in you" sprite size kink truly belly bulge mojito loss of virginity dessert yes served by Ollie Bearman

TW - virginity loss. unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, sweet/ slow sex

WC 2100+

Y/N POV

"Have you seen Kimi?" I ask Dino since he was the first personal I saw when I ended into the F3 part of the Paddock.

"No, why would he be here?" Dino asks me laughing slighly at the panic in my voice.

"It's Kimi he ends up wherever he pleases," I respond back with a soft laugh falling from my lips making Dino nod in aggreeance.

"I'll catch you later! Good luck later," I call out to Dino as I speed walk away from the F2 paddock and towards the F1 paddock to try and find my best friend.

"Oh thank god, can you tell Kimi to come here," I say to George when I stop him outside of the Mercedes hospitality where he had told me Kimi was in there.

"Just come with me! I'm sure he's in his little drivers room," George tells me making me nod and follw him into the hosipitality where he found Kimi in his room.

"I need to talk to you, I'm freaking out," I tell him once I closed the door behind me.

"What's got you freaking out?" KImi asks as he set his phone down.

"I lied to Oillie, and now the lie is hitting me in the face," I reply back.

"Okay drop the cryptic messages you're not Taylor Swift what the fuck is going on?" Kimi asks clearly getting frustrated.

"I never told Ollie I was a virgin and I turn all his advances down but not he's convinced I don't want to be with him and I don't know how to fix this," I quickly tell Kimi while paces the small space.

"Just tell him. You have him stressed. Came in here acting the same fucking way. Like you guys were made for eahc other. Just be honest," Kimi tells me softly when we hear a knock on the door.

"Love, I know you're in there," Ollie calls out makig me look at Kimi with wide eyes not ready to tell him right in this moment.

"I got to go," Kimi says with a smirk getting out of bed and opening the door for Ollie and letting us have a moment alone.

"What's been going on?" Ollie asks getting straight to the point.

"Ollie I love you I swear and I want to be with you but I'm scared," I say softly making Ollie look at me with a raised brow clearly needing more information.

"I'm- I- I've never had sex and I thought I could keep it a secret from you but then everytime we get close to doing anything more than oral I freak out," I tell him softly while looking at my hands.

I feel Ollie step towards me and take my hands into his while he tells me to look at him.

"Love, I've known you were a virgin since the moment I touched you," Ollie admits softly making me look up at him with a raised brow.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" I ask back making Ollie laugh a little.

"I think that's something you're supposed to tell me. I never wanted to push the subject but I couldn't have sex with you until you told me which is why I prentended to think you were lying to me about something," Ollie admits that this was all a set up basically.

"You set me up to admit that I was a virgin?" I ask with a raised brow making Ollie laugh and nod his head.

"It worked, didn't it. I'm in no way trying to rush sex, I just couldn't have sex with you until you admitted it. Now we can have a conversation about everything when the time comes," Ollie tells me softly while pulling me into his arms and placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"Soon," I respond back against his lips letting him know my timeline.

"There's no rush," Ollie responds back then places a kiss on my forehead.

Over the following few days I think about Ollie and I sleeping together more and more before I finally decided I was ready.

“Ollie I wanna do it tonight,” I tell him softly as we lay in his apartment.

“Are you sure? We’re in no kind of rush love,” Ollie tells me softly making me smile and nod my head.

“I’m ready and I wanna share that part of me with you,” I tell him softly making him smile.

“Tonight,” he tells me with a kiss to the forehead as we relax back into the couch and enjoy the random movie he had thrown on.

As the rest of the day passes I get progressively more nervous at the thought of sleeping with Ollie but there's a bigger part of me that's more excited.

When we climb into bed for the night I pull myself into Ollie's lap and start kissing his lips leading the way as much as my confidence will allow me.

"Are you sure you want me to take it baby?" Ollie asks as I start grinding down on his lap whimpering at the pleasure coursing through my body.

"Please Ollie! I only want it to be you," I tell him softly while stopping my grinding and looking Ollie in the eye.

"Okay, we'll go at your pace," Ollie tells me while pulling me back into another kiss while he starts pulling my shirt off leaving me in a pair of cotton panties.

"So beautiful," Ollie announces as he lets his eyes rake over my bare body.

"Ollie, please," I whine grinding down more feeling Ollie start to grow under me.

"Fuck, love," Ollie groans. I start pulling off Ollie's shirt with his help leaving him in just a pair of briefs.

Ollie flips us over leaving my back pressed against the mattress as Ollie is hoovering over me leaving wet kisses all over my neck and collarbones.

"Are you sure love?" Ollie confirms once again making me nod my head.

"Yes, I've never been so sure," I tell Ollie making him smile softly. This my final consent Ollie pulls off my panties and licks a strip from my dripping hole to my sensitive clit making me moan rather loudly when I feel his tongue graze my clit.

"Fuck, such a sweet little thing," Ollie says before he dives in and starts eating me out like a mad man.

"Fuck," I cry getting overwhelmed with the pleasure rather quickly. Ollie starts to slip 2 fingers deep into my pussy making me whimper at the stretch.

While Ollie and I had done a lot together feeling him slip his fingers into my pussy knowing he was soon gonna be slipping his cock into me the pleasure is far more overwhelming.

"Fuck, feel so good around my fingers," Ollie whispers while fingering me trying to prep me as much as possible to take his cock.

"I'm ready, please," I whine when I feel my orgasm start to build knowing I wanted to cum around Ollie's cock and not his fingers.

"Fuck, okay," Ollie says clearly showing some of his nerves.

"Oliver, love. Are you sure you are ready? You seem really nervous," I ask softly with a smile making Ollie look at me with hooded eyes.

"Yes, just don't want to hurt you," Ollie admits softly.

"Love, it's gonna hurt a bit no matter what, but I'm ready and I want you," I reassure once again while pulling him closer.

Ollie finally relaxes at my touch and starts to pull his boxers off.

"Fuck, baby I don't have any protection. I probably should have got some after our conversation a few days ago but I forgot. I can run to the corner store really quick," Ollie says once his boxers were pulled off.

"It's okay! I'm on birth control," I tell him softly while pulling him closer not caring about protection in this very moment.

"Ollie, I need it right now, please," I beg. Ollie just groans when he realizes how desperate I was.

"Fuck, okay," Ollie groans as he starts teasing my clit with his hard cock.

Seeing Ollie from this angle makes me realize how massive his cock truly is.

"Fuck, you're so big," I whine out when I feel the tip of his cock poking around my virgin hair.

"I'll be gentle I promise," Ollie grunts while slowly starting to push into me.

"Fuck Ollie," I cry out as the pain started to wash over him. Ollie completely stops all of his movements giving me some time to adjust before he starts pushing in again.

"Ollie," I whine when I feel him finally bottom out.

"Too big," I gasp trying to let my body relax.

"Look so pretty like this," Ollie groans out as he starts teasing my clit trying to get me to relax further so he could start rocking his hips.

"Fuck Ollie," I moan when the pain starts to fade and is replaced by an overwhelming pleasure. Ollie takes this as encouragement because he starts rocking his hips slowly trying to get me to adjust fulling to his size.

"Please, faster," I moan which instantly has Ollie thrusting into my soaked pussy while still teasing my clit.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I chant while growing closer to my orgasm.

“Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy,” Ollie grunts out which has me looking down to see the bulge he had created in my tummy from his cock.

"Fuck Ollie, fucking massive," I moan while pushing down on the bulge in my tummy making the pleasure become overwhelming and instantly cumming all over Ollie's cock with a shout.

"Fuck," I cry while Ollie continues to fuck me through my orgasm.

Ollie starts slowing his thrusts down not wanting to overwhelm me which gives me an idea.

"I wanna ride you," I admit softly which has Ollie looking at me shocked.

"I'm serious Oliver, I want to ride your dick right now," I tell him seriously so he knows I want it.

"Fuck," Ollie grunts while softly slipping out of my soaked pussy and laying down on his back next to me. I climb into his lap and grind my soaked pussy on his hard cock watching as the pleasure starts coursing through his eyes. I lean up slightly while gripping his cock and angling it at my pussy before I slowly start to sink down.

"Fuck," I moan when I feel him stretching me out at a new angle.

"Fuck, feels so good," I moan when I'm fully seated on his cock with little to no pain.

"Awe I love to know I stretched you out just enough to take all my cock," Ollie grunts out as I start bouncing slightly on his cock.

"So good," I cry out as I start bouncing a bit faster as Ollie is thrusting up into me making the pleasure almost unbearable.

I continue fucking down onto his cock while he fucks up into my pussy bringing to closer to the edge again.

"Look so pretty riding my cock," Ollie grunts out which makes me start bouncing faster chasing my orgasm.

"Ollie, I'm close," I moan making Ollie lift my hips slightly and start thrusting into my pussy at a fast pace bringing me over the edge with a shout.

"Ollie," I moan while my legs instantly give out on me but Ollie holds me up and keeps fucking up into me.

"Fuck I'm close. Please, let me cum in you," Ollie grunts out making me look at him and nod softly.

"Cum in me Ollie, please. Wanna feel your cum deep in me," I say which instantly has Ollie's thrusts shudder slightly before he starts filling me up with his hot cum.

"Fuck," Ollie grunts while riding out his orgasm. Once he's started to come down he turns up over once again so he's hoovering over me before he slowly slips his cock out of me watching his cum start to leak from me.

"I love to watch my cum leak from your pretty pussy," Ollie says softly before leaning down and kissing me forehead and climbing out of the bed.

"Why are you leaving me?" I ask softy instantly getting upset with Ollie leaving.

"Just gonna get you some water and a rag to clean you up," Ollie tells me softly while leaning down and pulling me in for a quick kiss.

I watch Ollie disappear out of his bedroom and into another room to get me water while going into the bathroom after and grabbing a warm rag before coming back into the room and instantly wiping me down.

"I'm sorry," Ollie whispers when I whine at his touch clearly too overstimulated.

"I love you Ollie," I tell him softly when he climbs back into the bed.

"I love you too," Ollie replies back pulling me into his chest and letting me relax into his warm embrace.

[greghatecrimes]

PPTH Gang + What I Think They’d Order At Starbucks, brought to you in incredible and unnecessarily extra detail by a very tired barista!

House: Black eye (black coffee with two shots of espresso), adds his own cream and sugar very sparingly. Occasionally when he’s alone he orders a Caramel Ribbon Crunch frap (guilty pleasure).

Wilson: Grande hot latte with soy milk. He used to order the “skinny vanilla” (latte with skim milk and sugar free vanilla) but stopped because House made fun of him for ordering the white mom drink.

Cuddy: This woman will drink any kind of coffee she can get her hands on in the morning. Even really, really shitty coffee. She just needs something to get through the day. But if she’s got time for Starbucks, I know she’s absolutely getting a tall Brown Sugar Oat Milk Shaken Espresso with two extra shots of espresso (four total). (That is a lot of espresso for a small drink and she needs all of it). She looks so stressed out that the barista draws a smiley face or a star next to her name on the cup, or writes “have a great day!”

Cameron: The Taylor Swift latte. Grande skim latte with caramel. She’s a basic bitch but she knows what she likes, good for her! In the fall she’s 100% a pumpkin spice latte girl and she probably also has the date written on her calendar for when Peppermint Mochas come back in the winter. When asked her name: “It’s Allie, A-L-L-I-E. Thanks!” automatically spells it out to make the barista’s life 3x easier.

Chase: Cameron orders for him because Chase has no idea what the names for anything are. Also likes a good Peppermint Mocha around Christmas (Cameron got him hooked; he stops drinking them after the divorce). Rest of the year he goes for an Americano, iced or hot, with almond milk. His Starbucks name is Bob, which never fails to make Cameron laugh. (Now I’m imagining putting that order out and yelling “ICED AMERICANO FOR BOB!” into a busy cafe and Chase standing there cluelessly like “who? me?” until Cameron nudges him, and I’m laughing my ass off)

Foreman: Regular, plain ol’ black coffee, any kind of dark roast. He adds his own cream very liberally but isn’t a fan of sugar in his coffee.

Thirteen: I spent way too much time thinking of the perfect thing for her. If she just gets coffee at work, just regular decaf coffee is fine. The bitter taste wakes her up since there’s no caffeine. If she wants a nice coffee, I think she’d like a decaf Doppio (two shots of espresso) with a bit of almond milk, one pump of vanilla, and one pump of hazelnut. Hot or iced, but always decaf. Gently but firmly tells the barista to please make sure it’s decaf because she’s “caffeine intolerant” (not wholly a lie. Helps her avoid the caffeine jitters.) Never uses her real name, either gives a random one or just says “Thirteen, like the number” when asked for a name by the barista. Always leaves a tip when she has cash. Orders her drink iced at any time of year if she’s in the mood for it and gets harassed by House for it.

Kutner: Rotates between different superhero names for his Starbucks name (Tony Stark, Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Clint Barton, etc.). Taub wants to melt through the floor every time he gets coffee with Kutner and his order is called out. Kutner thinks it’s hilarious. I really feel like he would be happy with anything you give him, but I think his go to if he’s specifically at Starbucks would be a java chip frap despite the fact that Taub lectures him about it (if he’s gonna treat himself to expensive coffee it may as well taste good!!). Also RIP Kutner you would have loved the Dragon Drink so much (both for the badass name AND the fact that it’s purple)

Taub: Doesn’t go to Starbucks often, probably really only goes with Kutner. Just orders a regular latte or cappuccino. He says he doesn’t see the point of adding in all the flavors and stuff because it’ll just drown out the coffee. Might put some cinnamon on top if there’s a shaker of it on the condiment bar. Would add cinnamon or nutmeg at home if he has the luxury of having a late morning and making his own coffee.

Bonus! Amber: Drinks iced coffee in the middle of a blizzard. Could also down shots of espresso like they’re tequila. The most intense bitch. Would be very visibly tense or stressed when ordering but as soon as her order’s done she’d thank the barista pretty genuinely. Go-to order is a cinnamon dolce latte, no whip but keep the cinnamon dolce powder.

[dreamypurplesky]

you know what's the most common experience of growing up as a girl? being made fun of. right since the moment you start having your own interests and preferences, people start making fun of you. it could be about something as small as the way you sit to bigger decisions like your career etc. I'm not even exaggerating but literally everything you do is a potential roast. i remember people would make fun of me because i liked to take selfies. i wasn't even taking too many but just the fact that i liked to take photos of myself was funny to people who were close to me. i got laughed at for working out cuz..."working out on a yoga mat is not actual workout" apparently. people literally don't let a single thing slide. your fashion sense, your hobbies, your music taste, your diet, your art, your opinions, the way you carry yourself, your daily routine, your social media presence and literally everything about your personality can and will be made fun of. growing up as a girl means having so much rage inside you. "oh you like taylor swift? ew that's so basic." "you dyed your hair blue? you think you're so edgy lol" "you like F1? name 5 drivers." "you have a best friend? i bet they will leave you." what makes me even more mad is that boys get praised about the same fucking things that you get made fun of. if he likes remote control cars then awww he's gonna be a racer someday let's buy him more. if he likes watching nat geo then wow he's so smart he has a bright future ahead. if he doesn't eat junk food then damn he's so health conscious i wish everyone could be like him. but god forbid a girl tries to be her authentic self she'll get crucified for it. and it's not even random bullies who do this, everyone including your parents, siblings, relatives, teachers, partners, coworkers, and everyone else will pick on you at some point. and then people wonder why most women don't know 'their worth' and get stuck in toxic relationships. i wonder why... and then if you stick up for women you get called a crazy feminist bitch while men sticking up for other men is just 'honoring the bro code'.

[i-will-change-this-someday]

I haven’t been in the DnDads fandom that long, but given that everyone seems to love some Normal angst (myself included), I’m surprised nobody’s talking about how in Normal’s stand up he talks about teasing people when you like them, and how kids probably bullied him and if (big if, given Normal’s sunny disposition), he ever got upset they’d just say they were teasing.

I feel like they wouldn’t even have to be bullying him, if his “friends” started making fun of someone else I feel like Normal would try and defend the other person.

“ Oh, lighten up. It's all good fun.”

“Oh, lighten up, Normal. It’s all good fun, don’t be so sensitive.”

“You know we're just busting your chops, it's all goofs.”

“Woah, you know we’re just busting your chops, no need to be so touchy, it’s all goofs”

“[Normal’s voice cracking through] It's all, it’s all a good time, right?”

“Come on, Normal, we’re just having a good time.”

“Look, it's a fun thing!”

“Look, see it’s fun. Stop ruining the mood.”

“It's a roast, you roast people that you like!”

“It’s just a roast, we’re friends, don’t worry about it”

“ it's a joke, Hermie, we're joking. We're just having fun!”

“We’re just joking around. It’s fun.”

“This is what people do when they like each other.”

“We’re just teasing, that’s what friends do, don’t be such a buzzkill.”

All of this makes Normal think this is how people are, and when the other react with sadness, anger, and concern, he panics.

“Normal: [over mic] Oh geez, no! Oh. Oh boy.”

“[Normal sounding teary] Isn't that funny— wuh… It's fun!”

“Normal: [over mic, strained] It's fun, guys! It's funny, you know?”

“Normal: [over mic, loud, vocal, stressed panting]”

“Normal: [over mic] Okay, well— eheh!”

“Normal: [over mic] Well uh— [pants] Oh God, I'm so sorry. Uh—”

“Normal: [over mic, voice cracking] I’m sorry everybody, that was my time.”

“Normal: [over mic, increasingly stressed] Scary, I don't really mean what I said! I just, uh! That's my time, I got to go, goodbye everybody!”

I don’t really have anything else, just wanted to post some Normal angst.

Here’s the full dialogue under the cut.

Borat: [over mic] Hey, that is, uh…

Link: [off mic] Killin’ it.

Borat: [over mic] …really mean, Rick! I think Hermie is sensitive about that, and proud of his acting.

Pickle Rick: [over mic] Oh, lighten up. It's all good fun. I mean. You know we're just busting your chops, Hermie, it's all goofs. [Normal’s voice cracking through] It's all, it’s all a good time, right? We didn't hurt your feelings, did we?

Hermie: [wobbly] U-um… Uh…

Borat: [over mic] He is crying, you stupid Pickle Man!

Normal: [over mic] Oh geez, no! Oh. Oh boy. Look, it's a fun thing! It's a roast, you roast people that you like! [almost Pickle Rick] And I like you, Hermie, okay?! [Just Normal] So it's just a funny... Look, look, I'll roast everybody else, okay? We're on the same team, it's all fun!

Pickle Rick: [still mostly Normal, but a bit of Rick stank, like he’s trying] Uh, Taylor! Hey, Taylor, how you doing?

Taylor: Eh...

Normal: Taylor, you know who's gonna—

Austin Powers: I’ve gotten pretty groovy, baby.

Pickle Rick: [mostly Normal] You've got less brain cells than your dad has limbs! Because they all got cut off!

Link: [off mic] Oh, Normal.

Normal: [the gravel of “Rick” is mostly just Normal sounding teary] Isn't that funny— wuh… It's fun!

Normal: [over mic, strained] It's fun, guys! It's funny, you know?

Link: [off mic, reluctant] It's pretty good, yeah.

Normal: [over mic, strained] Link!

Link: [off mic] Yeah.

Normal: [over mic] Link, what's the deal with you and Scary, man?

Link: [off mic] What?

Normal: [over mic, strained] Just stop pretending you don't like her. Just fuck already, and get it over with!

Link: I do... Whoa, I do like her. I mean like you too. I like all of us.

Normal: [over mic, loud, vocal, stressed panting]

Link: Woah, you're okay, man.

Normal: [over mic] Okay, well— eheh! It’s a good— it's a joke, Hermie, we're joking. We're just having fun!

Hermie: Mm…

Normal: [over mic] This is what people do when they like each other. Scary! [fake laugh] Boy, you got so many issues. [exhale right into the mic] You're like a comic book store. You got so many issues up there!

Napoleon: Gosh!

Normal: [over mic] I bet uh, I bet your medicine cabinet at home looks like one of those big jelly bean jars you see at the fair!

Normal: [over mic] How many…! How pills does she pop every day?

Normal: [over mic] Well uh— [pants] Oh God, I'm so sorry. Uh—

Link: [off mic] Normal you did—!

Normal: [over mic, voice cracking] I’m sorry everybody, that was my time.

Link: [off mic] You did great.

Normal: [over mic, strained] Uh, Hermie, I really like you, uh, and Taylor, y’know, you and your dad are going to hit it off, you're going to be great. Ah, Link, I'm sorry, man. You tell Scary you like her in your own way, in your own time.

Link: [off mic, calmly] Oh. I- I like you, Scary.

Normal: [over mic, increasingly stressed] Scary, I don't really mean what I said! I just, uh! That's my time, I got to go, goodbye everybody!

[bisluthq]

The comments under this video are funny I’m sorry

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRKDxQpG/

lol I feel bad for this guy because he legit seemed so excited to meet her and then everyone is being kinda mean to him and like just let this little blond Portuguese man live his best life and be excited about meeting his idol idk 🥲🥲😂😩

not to cupcake about a man we don’t know but I think it’s shitty like that this little man just got really excited that he got to meet her and then everyone was kinda mean to him about it??? That’s not nice?? I looked at a bunch of his videos and he’s literally not weird at all like this isn’t like Ashley whatsherface or even like Bryan who are very odd people. This is just a little dude who likes to vibe and got to meet Taylor and all people needed to say is “good for you king” and instead everyone chose to be weird as absolute fuck??

My brother and I were talking about the internet today because he likes to call me a boomer because I don’t know a lot of the memes and jargon Gen Z use - and some of it I know but it’s AAVE and I don’t use it when I find that out because not my lane to tbh - and I’m like “king I was there when we were MAKING the internet the weird ass place it is today like Gen X created it, us millennials made it weird, and y’all are making it even weirder which like okay but don’t for a second think I don’t know the internet streets like I was literally there when we made it weird” and then he said like “it’s not weird and it’s not as mean as you say, you’re just jaded like the internet is super nice” and I literally felt like “oh sweet summer child” and I’m waiting for his first cancellation because it’s… coming. He’s public facing too lol so like it’s for sure coming. Someone is gonna be mean at some stage and this little cupcake won’t know what to do. And people being mean about a little Portuguese man who was just excited to meet Taylor reminds me like my brother knows FUCK ALL about the internet lol and I do because yeah king should’ve thought about it a bit harder and bad teeth aside he does look like Joe so he should’ve made a joke about it but even then he probably still would’ve gotten roasted.

[septimaseverina]

This post I'm gonna rambling about internal politics. You can scroll pass. No hard feeling. I just don't want to do it on my Facebook because it's gonna be drama for sure, some mutual friends don't like stuff like this and I'm lazy to pick names that I don't want them to see.

.

.

.

Well. Taylor Swift was about to tour on her Red album when I was in University. Me, as one of her fans, had saved my allowance for a ticket, since she has never come to my country. That was the first time.

But then, boooooooooooooom, fuckin coup d'état. 13th time since 1932; the year that my country changed the regime - from absolute monarchy to democracy. She cancled the tour.

Now 9 years after the coup d'état, finally the general election was holden, the left liberal party wins the election. The Prime Minister-to-be, from people's consensus (including me), comments on Taylor's twitter. He persuades her to come to my country for tour again. We, people, are with him. Because the shitty head nowaday and about to fall from power Prime Minister never does something like this, guess what? It (I don't see this garbage as human anymore) can't speak English! It has just known how to use Google! Claming that it can play Facebook. But I don't believe and buy this 'fact'. When porks' prices were raising, it told people to eat chicken instead! Sound familiar? Yeah. But it was on every tv chanels. We can strongly prove its word as real shit, more real than Marie Antoinette's which we might or might not know she was really saying it. And it also tells people to be thrifty, while it and its fellows have lunches at 5 stars hotels, just like Oscar Wilde's quote; "To recommend thrift to the poor is both grotesque and insulting. It is like advising a man who is starving to eat less."

Okay, let's get back to main subject. Our Prime Minister-to-be, from people's consensus, persuades Taylor Swift to come for concert in the country. We people do not oppose, since we haven't gone for the western artists' concerts for 9 years. But one ignorance and dictators' supporter who is happening to be an artist - 'modern folk for life' genre - opposes with hatred and narrow mind. His reason is uselesss so I'm not gonna type them here. The problem is not only he supports dictatorships, I used to admire him, listening to his songs which talking about what working people must face everyday. But now, he absolutely loses my respect. He finally shows his true colours. He is just 'acting'. He is rich and never live a hard and poverty life. So, who is he? This is not democratical opinion. He assaults the Prime Minister-to-be with irrational and illogical.

I should stop here before I roast another influencers and artists who support dictatorships. I used to spend half a day roasting them with my friends.

And in conclude, I just want my country developing forward. Not backward. If they wanna live in the 'beautiful past', just stop dragging almost entire people to go with you. We want good fucking lives and consist with present world.

[wendytestabrat]

that's pretty much my theory except I feel like tolkien broke up with her because he realized how crazy and needy she is and how she was still obsessed with stan and was just using him to make stan jealous LOL. i'm sure wendy prob manipulated things and lied to make it seem like she was the one to break up with him not the other way around bc that's the kind of fucked up thing wendy would do since she likes having the upper hand and to seem like the superior one in relationships. just like how in "the list" she deadass made all of her friends believe that stan was gonna beg her to come back to him yet wendy was the one who asked to get back together sooo LMAO. i still can't get over stan roasting wendy for that shit in "follow that egg" when he's like "like i give a crap what you think wendy". i mean yeah stan obviously still had feelings for wendy but i think he prob did a better job moving on from it by that point in the show, while you could tell wendy was starting to regret breaking up with him and still wanted to talk to stan and get in his pants, but I digress. but yeah a subtle moment no one talks abt that makes me believe tolkien broke up with her was in "breast cancer show ever" (and this may just be me looking too much into this LOL) when the boys were in the cafeteria talking about how cartman and wendy are gonna fight, tolkien goes "she is PISSED off" which tells me that tolkien knew wendy well enough when he dated her to know how pissed off and crazy she can get, which might have been too much for someone more sane and stable for tolkien to handle LOL. i mean we see how easily annoyed he gets with cartman too bc of that (WHERE HE GENUINELY DISLIKES CARMAN AND AVOIDS HIM NOT THAT FAKE SHIT KYLE DOES WHERE KYLE BITCHES ABT CARTMAN BUT THEN WANTS CARTMAN'S ATTENTION 24/7), but yeah stan def doesn't seem to mind wendy's outbursts and crazy jealous obsessive behavior bc he already surrounds himself with toxic people anyways bc he's friends with cartman & kyle for crying out loud lol. tolkien on the other hand has his head on straight and he prefers to surround himself with more mature people like craig, tweek, and jimmy, so yeah it would make sense why wendy's temperament would've been too overwhelming for him. i'm sure he did rlly like her at first and they initially did bond bc they do have a lot in common and when wendy isn't acting crazy she's all chill and smart like tolkien, but yeah he couldn't handle her toxic side. and another reason why they broke up was bc tolkien was just a getaway car for wendy and i'm sure he realized that LOL. that's what that song 'getaway car' by taylor swift is about when a girl dates basically the first guy she can find as an escape from the previous relationship. so tolkien was just a rebound for her bc she was unhappy with stan so instead of working shit out with him she just decided to jump in the pants of the first guy who was nice to her LOL. i also feel like wendy is very easily seduced and flattered by guys (prob bc she's insecure abt herself or some shit, don't get me wrong tho wendy is rlly good at acting more confident and tough than she is tho) i mean when cartman was being just a little nice and flirty with her she fucking fell for him and kissed him like that while she was with stan. so i'm sure her striking up somewhat of a bond and connection with tolkien was enough to convince her to dump stan and get in tolkien's pants LOL (considering tolkien is way more sane than cartman and more smart & mature like stan and more of wendy's type). I can also imagine it was overwhelming for tolkien how fast wendy fell for him and tried to rush into a relationship and shit when he prob just saw her as a friend and they prob just initially bonded by talking about something simple like homework or some shit.

ya'll what are ur theories on why token and wendy broke up sound off below

[pr1ncessm00n]

for sale or wanted — jean kirstein x fem! reader

series masterlist

prev | next , part two

warnings: cursing, porco being toxic lol. dates are wrong once again sorry !!

[ playlist : love again - dua lipa ]

eight.

Half asleep and ready to go to bed, Y/N fell back into her bed. She picked up her phone, hoping to mindlessly scroll through some TikToks. Instead, she was met with two messages. Audibly gasping as she read Porco’s name, she dropped her phone, hitting herself in the face in the process. “Ow!”

Porco? Y/N thought incredulously. What the hell does he want?

Contemplating asking Ymir and Sasha for advice, Y/N then decided against it. This was her life, she couldn’t expect her friends to guide her though it. But God, was she such a coward when it came to Porco. It wasn’t like he was Prince Charming, but Y/N had an extreme loyalty complex. She couldn’t ever allow herself to let go of people. Porco used to berate her for that constantly.

Why are you so clingy? He would ask.

Who’s the clingy one now? Y/N thought bitterly. She decided to ignore Porco’s text until she could think of a reply that wasn’t along the lines of “No, fuck you.” She slid her thumb over to Jean’s message.

Great. Another text asking to talk. Why couldn’t people just send their question and save a girl the anxiety? Y/N scolded herself for allowing her egotistical ex to ruin her mood. Jean didn’t deserve her snappiness.

Jean sighed in relief. Thank God she replied. He didn’t know if he could handle the mortification if she didn’t.

Y/N pondered for a bit.

Y/N laughed quietly to herself. So Jean could in fact match her sense of humor. She exited out of their chat, mindlessly scrolling through social media. She actively avoided Porco’s message, not wanting to burden herself with the chore of responding to him. What could he possibly have to say? She headed to Twitter, hopefully finding something relatable to retweet. As Y/N scrolled, she saw a familiar face appear on her timeline.

Recommended for you from contacts, the header read. Below it was about 3 profiles of people in her contacts she had not followed yet. Among them, was Jean.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat.

Should I? She questioned. Would she be overstepping some unspoken boundary? What if she hurt her own feelings by stalking and seeing something she wouldn’t like/had no business seeing? Maybe she should just ignore it. She doubted Jean was some internet creep… but wouldn’t it be good to know if he was? Curiosity getting the better of her, Y/N decided to invade that boundary and look at his account.

He didn’t have much content from what Y/N could see. He just retweeted fancy cars and some funny memes. She spotted Connie, Sasha’s lifelong friend and Jean’s infamous roomie. She mentally hoped Jean didn’t tweet like Connie. That would be the ultimate ick.

Y/N’s thumb stopped scrolling, hovering over a tweet. Her heart beated ten times more rapidly.

well she is pretty lol, Jean’s tweet read. Tweeted just an hour after he met Y/N.

Could it be? Y/N wondered. No way. There’s no way it’s about me. I’m just jumping to conclusions. Why would he say that about me? I’m just being self absorbed.

She brushed off her inquiries, deciding to just stop stalking his account entirely. From what she already saw, there wasn’t anything suspicious or icky enough to make her want to not interact with him. And she was already paranoid, so every tweet she saw she would begin to assume it was about her as well. She was just getting her hopes up.

Rolling over on her side, Y/N placed her phone to charge and went to sleep. It was late, which was probably what was causing her mind to become fuddled.

——

“You should’ve told me Sasha’s third roomie was Y/N,” Reiner had said to Jean in the truck. “I totally blindsided her. Top ten worst encounters of my life.”

“Uh, care to enlighten me? Do you guys have beef or something?” Jean asked, perusing the radio stations.

Reiner sighed. “She’s dating- was dating- my childhood friend, Porco.”

Jean felt his stomach drop. “Oh.”

Reiner glanced at him before stopping at a red light. “I said dating. He dumped her like a week ago. It was pretty trash.”

Jean secretly felt more at peace hearing that. Poor Y/N, but.. she could probably do better than this Porco person.

“So what does that have to do with you?” Jean asked.

Reiner shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really help. She said she felt a little betrayed. Like I agreed with Porco and my friends that she’s the crazy one.”

Jean nodded. “So you were a bystander.”

Reiner sighed again, tilting his head in an I guess motion. “It’s just hard. Porco’s like my brother, and I don’t agree with how he acted… but maybe I should have spoken up sooner.”

Jean patted his shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself, man. That was between them.”

“Yeah. I could have at least told Porco to step it up, though.” Reiner murmured.

I’m glad you didn’t. Jean snickered to himself.

“So, you think she’s cute?” Reiner shot Jean a devilish grin. Jean rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I guess. You goin’ to Historia’s birthday?” He slyly changed the subject.

“Is it open invite?” Reiner’s eyebrows scrunched up.

Jean shrugged. “I have an invite. Maybe you can be my plus one.”

Reiner made a “Hmm” sound in response, weary at Jean’s invite. “What are you dressing as if you go?”

“I was thinking swag era Justin Bieber.” Jean replied, smiling widely.

Reiner gave him a look. “You for real?”

Jean’s smile dropped. “What?”

Reiner laughed. “I’d pay money to see how badly you embarrass yourself with that.”

“It’s a 2000’s party?” Jean was confused.

“Yeah, but everyone does like, early 2000s. Think Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.”

Jean shot him a curious look.

“What? Pop culture is my guilty pleasure.” Reiner explained himself. “And everyone knows Britney Spears.”

Jean hummed in response. “I just think you got a thing for pop girls.” He referenced the earlier Becky G mishap.

“I’m not even gonna deny it anymore.” Reiner agreed, defeated.

——

“Guys,” Y/N said the next morning. Ymir and Sasha were at the breakfast “nook” (a corner of their miniature kitchen designated for a small table that barely fit all three of them), Sasha eating cereal and Ymir chomping on an apple while scrolling on her phone. “Porco texted me last night.”

Ymir continued scrolling, unfazed. Sasha’s eyes widened and she swallowed her food before speaking. “What? Why?” Y/N glared at Ymir.

“Thanks for your interest YMIR, but as i was telling Sasha-“

“I’m Sasha.” Sasha cut in, obviously confused.

Y/N gave Sasha a look.

“Did you say something?” Ymir said, bored. She still hadn’t looked up from her phone.

“Ymir!” Sasha scolded. “Y/N’s telling us Porco texted her!”

“Who’s Porco?” Ymir replied, monotonous.

Y/N sighed in exasperation. “Are you stalking Eren again? I already told you to stop comparing your subscribers-“

“I’m not stalking Eren!” Ymir snapped defensively. “I’m…” She mumbled the next part incoherently.

“Huh?” Sasha and Y/N asked in unison.

“I SAID,” Ymir repeated, annoyed. “I’m looking up Britney Spears outfits. Historia wanted us to go as different eras of her. But I can’t find anything that matches my style.” She grumbled.

Y/N’s heart melted. It was adorable watching Ymir struggle to find a matching costume for Historia. It was like Marilyn Manson wanting to get along with a CareBear.

“Just go as JT,” Sasha said, chewing her cereal.

“One, close your mouth, and two, Historia asked for us to go as Brittney. I can’t just show up like a dude.” Ymir visibly deflated as she scrolled through countless pictures of a younger Spear’s iconic looks.

“Why don’t you try her bandanna phase? That wasn’t so over the top, and she wore mostly jeans.” Y/N suggested as she squeezed into the corner chair.

Ymir sighed. “I don’t want to wear a skirt or some bimbo shit. That’s y’alls look.”

“How do you manage to sound endearing trying to please your girlfriend while simultaneously insulting us?” Y/N wondered aloud.

“It’s a talent.” Ymir waved her off. “What did you guys get her though?”

“A giftcard to Urban Outfitters,” Sasha replied. “I got tired of searchin’. I put $50 on it. I think that should be enough for like, a shirt and a half. She better like it, too. ‘Cus I’m broke.” Sasha pointed her spoon at Ymir accusingly.

“I got her the Taylor Swift vinyl she’s been wanting. And some pink film for her camera.” Y/N added. Ymir nodded approvingly.

“I hope she likes my gift. I don’t know if I’m moving too fast though?” For the first time since Y/N mer Ymir, Y/N hadn’t ever seen her this distraught.

“Calm down,” Y/N reassured her. “You’ve been together for years now. I don’t think you can move any slower.”

Ymir rolled her eyes, leaning back im her chair with arms crossed. “It’s a small trip to Seoul. I know she’s been dying to go. It’s not like it’s anything she hasn’t seen before with her family… but I figure it’d be different with just us.” Y/N’s heart melted.

“That’s so sweet!” Sasha exclaimed, eyes watery. “I want an Ymir!”

“Well, you can’t have me!” Ymir laughed. “It’s not a big deal. The sponsorship I managed to land gave me a decent payout.” Ymir sheepishly replied, her cheeks a faint red

Y/N nudged her. “Look at you, being modest.”

Ymir waved her hand. “Shut up. How does this look?” She turned her phone to Y/N, showing a picture of Britney Spears clad in low waist jeans, a black tank top and sure enough, a yellow bandanna.

“That’s perfect.”

Ymir smirked, smug. “Just like me.”

“Y/N!” Sasha shouted. “Go back to the Porco thing!”

“Oh, yeah. What did Oinky want?” The girls turned to face Y/N, who shrank a bit back in her seat.

“That’s a new one,” Y/N chuckled. “I thought of one last night, too,” She paued for dramatic effect. “Porker!” She gasped out, giggling, hitting the table in a slight fit of laughter. Sasha and Ymir gave Y/N a blank stare, unamused at Y/N’s mediocre roast.

“Not funny, didn’t laugh.” Sasha spat.

“If your career was stand up you’d be living in a box.” Ymir deadpanned.

“Tough crowd,” Y/N sighed, wiping imaginary tears from her eyes. “But if you must know…” She purposely stalled a bit, knowing it would send an impatient, jittery Sasha over the edge and annoy Ymir even more, even if she pretended she was not interested in the relationship drama between Y/N and her disgraced ex.

“Just say it already!” Sasha begged.

“I…don’t know. I haven’t responded.” Y/N finally admitted, putting her head in her hands. “I just-“ Her words were muffled by her hands.

Ymir removed her hands from her face. “Your words, darling.” She scolded, voice oozing sarcasm.

“Ugh,” Y/N groaned. “I’m too pussy to respond. He just asked if we could talk. What could he possibly want? What if he wants the couch? It’s just too much.”

Sasha gave her a sympathetic gaze. “Just leave him on read! If he wants to talk so badly he’ll find a way to say what he needs to.”

“For once, I agree.” Ymir added.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Y/N stretched. “But it did keep me up at night wondering what he wanted.”

“Y/N, forget him! Historia’s party is soon, there’s no time to worry about ugly men!” Sasha stood up, rushing to put her bowl in the sink. “I got a lecture in a few, but you need to find your costume! We’re all going as Britney!” She said before disappearing into her room.

“Um, who’s gonna tell her we’re not all dressing as Britney?” Ymir inquired.

Y/N snorted. “Not I. I’m probably going as Suki from Fast and the Furious.”

“Niiceee,” Ymir fist pumped Y/N. “She was my sexual awakening.” Y/N choked on her muffin.

“Ymir, what’d we say about uncalled for horniness?” Y/N reprimanded. Ymir made her way to the coat rack, searching for her car keys in her leather jacket’s pocket.

“If I was gonna be chewed out for liking women I would’ve lived with my parents!” Ymir called out. “I gotta pick up Historia!”

“Will you be back?” Y/N shouted back.

“Get off my dick!” Ymir shut the door. Laughing to herself, Y/N picked up Ymir’s dish to place in the sink. She was, out of the three, the more tidier one. Ymir did the best cleaning, but she was selectively lazy.

“Bye, Y/N!” Sasha shouted before leaving in a rush. One thing Y/N had grown used to was the fairly chaotic mornings. She secretly hoped they would be like this for a long time.

Since Y/N had transferred, Ymir and Sasha had been the best roommates she could ask for. Yes, Ymir was snappy and Sasha was a bit ditzy, but it was the perfect combination and they were respectful. Y/N had transferred from Sina University purely for academic reasons, but she had not expected to fit in so well with the girls or their group of pre establish friends. She worried she would not fit in since they had already been so tight-knit, but found that wasn’t the case at all. They were open, accepting and loyal. Y/N couldn’t be happier where she was, and even though she wouldn’t admit it, she was grateful for how close they had all gotten in their short time together. Who knew randomly assigned rooming would provide her with friendship to last a lifetime?

Which is why every time she thought about Porco she kicked herself. How could she have let some… meathead ruin her freshmen year of college? She should have been having fun, interacting with Ymir and Sasha’s friends more, lived her own life. But no, she chose to become involved with a self absorbed fraternity guy of all people. Now she was semi-heartbroken, extremely humiliated, and about a year’s worth of time and effort short. She had allowed him to take advantage of her so much, that he felt he could contact her still after basically using her. The thought made her want to rip her hair out and scream.

Almost as if through divine intervention, her phone beeped with a notification.

What the actual hell? Y/N thought.

She froze for a second. What does she do? Respond? Ignore? Block?

After a few seconds of mental deliberation, Y/N finally decided. She was fed up with the lack of bravery she showed and decided to just end it once and for all. Typing out a response, she clicked send and decided to go to the mall for the retail therapy she was sure to need after whatever Porco said what he wanted to say. Turning the shower on, she braced herself for his response. What could Porco want? She couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

This better be good, Y/N thought.

taglist : @tsunderehokage @lagrimasdeglitter @snowyseungs @mukeovernetflix @bakugouswh0r3 @punicorn999 @deadlyaffairs @usernamehere91 @calumsfringe

a/n: woohoo!! long chapter. so to recap: i graduated!! i am finally free from the clutches of high school. i might do a face reveal :) bc i loved my grad dress. anywho, my fever cleared up, i have chapter 9 already completed (just need to revise + edit) and this is NOT proof read!! it’s 2 am guys i’m tired. but i hope you enjoyed this :) sorry for the weird cropping too. peace out

[asterlark]

im just thinking the samwell college of music au and what everyone's fanbases are like...

kent parson stans are absolute nightmares. like the obnoxious kind of demi lovato/tswift stan. very defensive of him & loud to the point of being super annoying. comments under literally anything "STREAM [album name]" & "ok kent parson stan" is like. an insult in online spaces sometimes sjskahajgdh

kent does one of those "reading hate tweets" videos and 80% of them are just his own fans being like "i hate kent parson how dare he look like That he ruined my life" and he's just like "haha pretty sure this is one of my fans"

jack's fans are very loyal, usually very sweet & supportive, some have been fans since he was a teenager and some become fans when he releases his debut album after samwell but regardless they all love him. when falcon records pr makes him get a twitter, he basically just retweets a lot of fanart and other fan content so his fans tend to be rly creative

(the fans who have waited years and years from his first single at 17 to his debut album at like 25/26 can sometimes be like "new fans don't know what we've BEEN THROUGH for this ok?? we didn't even know if he was gonna make music again at all you don't GET IT" fjdjqjsh)

jack's fans are also the types to organize fundraisers to lgbtq+ mental health organizations around his birthday and he always feels so touched by that & will match the fans' donations

bitty’s fans are fucking hilarious. they're simultaneously so supportive and encouraging of him and also love to (with all the love in their hearts) roast him. genuinely he starts looking into an adhd diagnosis bc everyone in his comments is constantly like KING.... YOUR ADHD IS SHOWING.

he loves them and has had relationships with some of them for years and years, he's very close with his audience and loves to do chatty q&a's or ig lives and just chat with them. he also constantly reposts covers that they do of his songs & when his album comes out he does a series of taylor swift-esque small intimate shows where they're basically just hanging out

i could literally go on about the others & their fan bases (holster's fans LIVE to make fun of him, there are a lot of people out there with nursey's lyrics tattooed on them, people still share around shitty and chowder's years-old rap "compliment battles") but i'll end here lol

[seongpinkhwa]

the signs as chaotic things taylor swift has done

aries: touching a lightbulb just to see if it was hot even though she knew that it would burn her finger

leo: having a song featured on the 50 shades of grey soundtrack that happened to be a collab with her ex boyfriend’s ex bandmate

cancer: straight up saying that her and harry’s relationship was the kind where he would potentially crash her future wedding

pisces: saying that it was very unlikely for her to drop a surprise album because she loved giving easter eggs to her fans and building up the anticipation.....and then dropping a surprise album

scorpio: roasting all the different versions of herself at the end of lwymmd + “what are you doing?” “getting receipts.....gonna edit this later” aka straight up murdering kimye

sagittarius: printing a fandom joke from tumblr onto a t-shirt and wearing it in public

taurus: throwing chairs off the stage on the fearless tour

gemini: dating a guy that hated pop music, then saying “fuck that” and writing an annoying pop song about him on purpose just to piss him off

virgo: writing clean, a dramatic song about healing and finally moving on from someone.........and writing style like two weeks later about the same person

libra: randomly announcing a surprise album on the ten year anniversary of one direction (girl we know that wasn’t a coincidence)

capricorn: absolutely roasting joe jonas’ ass on multiple occasions, typically on live tv

aquarius: saying no one had guessed the album title of lover when everyone was like. is it lover........

[oodlyenough]

arcane indulgence: viktor

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them: Not sure about fave so I'll do first thing I particularly noticed, beside being designed for me in a lab somewhere, which was that I found him quite funny. Roasting Jayce while he stands on the edge of this third storey ledge, lol

least favorite thing about them: I guess this is more of a hypothetical at this point but I am sort of, uh, crossing my fingers about what they do with him in s2 and hoping it makes sense and feels like organic development from s1 and isn't just "Well here's where he's at in League" stapled on. A lot of fandom seems to just kind of like, accepted he's going to turn into his League self and I feel like if that's where Arcane is going they have not done the groundwork well at all...

favorite line: This isn't my bedroom 🤔🤔🤔

brOTP: Viktor only has one friend and I want them to fuck

OTP: Jayce! The range... the drama... you can put them in almost any stage of relationship from sickening honeymoon to bitter divorce and make it work. In any case they're gonna be obsessed with each other for the rest of their lives what's better than that

nOTP: Uh any variation that puts him with Mel tbh. I like Mel, I like Viktor, do not want them remotely affiliated romantically except in whatever weird bisexual drama they have going on in canon. They have one conversation where they're ideologically opposed and she cuts him out of the conversation by standing to talk over his head, Mel like the rest of Piltover is barely aware of Viktor's existence in the first place, also I read him as gay lmao... Just uh, no thanks.

random headcanon: I don't know why this question always stumps me even for characters I'm actively writing fic about lol. Oh, I guess one is like, I know it's "twitter canon" that he like ??? scammed his way into the Academy by just showing up until Heimerdinger noticed him?? but I find that uh. contradictory to what we hear him say in the show about no one believing in him and also to logic, and twitter canon is fake, so whatever. Anyway so I just assume he won some kind of Hunger Games scholarship for kids who can read good and wanna learn to do other stuff good too.

unpopular opinion: feel like I'm taking crazy pills every time I read some meta or fic or whatever centering around Viktor's "social anxiety" and how he doesn't know how to talk to or relate to people... Aside from tbh projecting ableist assumptions onto him, I think people assume act 1 Viktor is the anomaly and depressed act 2-3 Viktor is his default personality, but I feel like it's certainly the opposite. Act 2-3 takes place over a couple of days that are probably the worst of his (and everyone else's lmao) life, flirty snarky act 1 Viktor is surely like... closer to who he is in a normal scenario.

song i associate with them: Because I was just talking about it with @stardust-musings, Touch by Sleeping At Last! Lmao and also I Bet You Think About Me by Taylor Swift because it makes me laugh, queen of acrimonious break up songs

[mermaidsirennikita]

I’d love Sophie Turner. She’s grown a lot as an actress and looks-wise, she’s close to perfect. She also would do well with the chilly, regal vibe. but what if they went for like…Blake Lively, to give her an umpteenth chance to be a ~serious actress~ lol. She has the height and wears clothes well. Also perhaps Samara Weaving, since she’s in the Ryan Murphy stable already? Murphy’s pedigree has fallen off, but I imagine Carolyn will be a really coveted role for any white actress under 35.

I agree there are no established actors rn who could credibly play JFK Jr. It’s impossible to overstate how much of a sex symbol he was. Aaron Taylor Johnson kind of has the physique imo, but I don’t see it otherwise. Old Hollywood would yield tons of options though. They should go with an unknown out of Yale Drama or something.

I actually like Blake in certain things--like The Shallows or A Simple Favor. But she's an actress who works for certain roles, versus an actor that can adapt lmao, which is what Carolyn requires. And tbh, the biggest thing standing in Sophie's way, elephant in the room, is probably her marriage. Is it fair that getting married and having a couple babies in your twenties is often devastating for actresses? Not at all. It's a product of misogyny. But in this current environment that is churning out hot girl after hot girl with legit talent, you're showing up in JoBros roasts and music videos and having kids versus being hypercompetitive, you will get lost. I think Sophie is very talented and gorgeous. She ain't perfect (none of them... are) but she's got the ability. But I don't know if she's being considered for roles like this right now because she's been pregnant for much of the past few years. Again--it's horrible and bad. But that doesn't make it not a thing.

I think that as much as Ryan Murphy has had some stumbles, there are still a lot of legit iconic people who love to work for him, and he's not out of the count for awards season, so to me... Carolyn would be a role lots of girls will want. I could see Samara, though lookswise she ain't right for it at all lol. She's very talented, so maybe she could convince me. Carolyn was a complicated, controversial person we don't know much about for sure--were she and JFK Jr. on the outs or not when they died, was she a cokehead or not (I mean probably), what was up with the kids issue, etc etc. We know less about her than we do about him, and she's less beloved, so there's more room to play.

ATJ is inspired casting, I love that and he could totally do it. He's one of those guys who's stupid hot and very talented, and due to a combination of the how uncomfortable everyone is with his horrid marriage, that issue making him hard to market, and him honestly being a "type" that's not as in right now... It's hindered him. But otherwise, like--yeah, you might as well get an unknown. People don't get exactly how ridiculous JFK Jr. was. He was hot, he was rich, he was a big dude, he was the heir to THEE family of the United States. The Kennedys have fallen off in recent years so a lot of younger people (lmao I'm 27.........) don't get it, but like. JFK Jr. a combo that you really don't see often. And if they can't convey that in the show.... It's gonna be disappointing.

[ahtsumu]

cOuNtRy BoY i LoVe YoUuU–– miya atsumu.

GENERAL HEADCANONS

☆ y’know that kid everyone hates but all the parents love? that’s miya atsumu for you

he’s such a mama’s boy ugh

she’ll see him with mud all over his jeans and be like “miya atsumu! what’d i tell you ‘bout goin’ muddin’!?” and he’s like “sorry ma! just got too excited”

and what’s she gonna do? nothing. absolutely nothing. she just laughs and shake her head because atsumu’s boyish charm is adorable

osamu hates this !!! they’re always competing for mama miya’s heart LOL

☆ says “mornin’ ma'am how’s your day been so far” to the gas station lady and then roasts the life out of his friends

anyone older than 30 adores atsumu to death and anyone his age thinks he’s the annoying dumb hot guy LMAO

☆ plays quarterback on the football team and he’s damn good at what he does !! he’s taken the team to nationals three times already and he’s hoping to end senior year with a first place trophy

☆ teachers also love him to death bc he’s such a sweet-talker and asking questions as if he actually cares about differential equations and antiderivatives but nooo LOL bby’s just trying to make the GPA cut for travelling

it’s a 2.2

☆ on days without practice he’ll hang out around the school parking lot with the Gang™, leaning against his pick-up truck and blasting music from his car speakers to look “cool”

rlly he’s just wasting his time and even his friends think it’s stupid asf like omg no one is looking. atsumu how r u not embarrassed

☆ drives stick shift and thinks he’s hot shit 😭😭😭 he’s not wrong it is hot tho

☆ plays country trap around the boys

when “old town road” first dropped lil nas x was on repeat for 2 months

atsumu has a playlist of EVERY SINGLE REMIX and he’s like “they’re differENT juSt liSTen!!!”

out of all of the boys he has the WORST taste in country music it’s deadass just lil nas x, florida georgia line, luke combs, and morgan wallen

sometimes he’ll spice it up with a little luke bryan but that’s pushing it 😭

his guilty pleasure is that one farmer song by lil tracy and lil uzi vert 

do not trust him with the aux

someone come collect him pls

☆ atsumu’s favourite southern meal undoubtedly has meat in it–– ribs, fried chicken, pulled pork, you name it

but he’s weak for peach cobbler and a side of vanilla ice cream for dessert bc homeboy’s got a massive sweet tooth

☆ he may be helpful in helping out with farmwork but this boy cannot fish to save his life

he has a picture of him holding a MASSIVE trout on his instagram and tinder (which he downloaded illegally for his ego lmfao) but really osamu caught it for dinner one night while camping and atsumu stole it for a 30 second photo

☆ owns camouflage but ironically ! 

whips it out on days he thinks suna might pull up in camo

why? no one knows. it cracks him up tho LMFAO

☆ atsumu actually dresses quite well–– his style is the typical southern prep: 

a pair of jeans/shorts and a crisp button-up paired with double monks

loves a good leather belt

his favourite leather is BROWN leather, thank you very much !

☆ owns cowboy boots and he’s so proud of them

they’re steel-toed and decorated by a simple stitch pattern but it gets all the city folks fawning over him so it’s his most prized possession

HE USES THEM TO IMPRESS CITY FOLK LOL he’s like “howdy” and they’re like 😍🤤😍🤤😍🤤

flirts by asking if they’d like to see his horse i––

☆ like his twin, atsumu is undoubtedly great with animals

dogs love him !! like they’re just naturally attracted to him plus he gets so smiley and happy around them

he was probably a golden retriever in a past life lmfaoo

he’s a phenomenal horse-rider too

he rides the horses out at night bc he just loves the wind in his face,,, like a dog

where he differs from osamu is that he hates the actual work of taking care of an animal lmao

☆ works a summer job at six flags because he loves going on rides for free he’s so cute ugh

DATING HEADCANONS

☆ aside from football atsumu also starts the inarizaki high school slam poetry club, which is, coincidentally, also just the entire football team 

listen it’s rlly cute how the slam poetry club was founded ok don’t laugh

after developing a massive crush on you, atsumu realises that he’s got too much of a meathead reputation to stand a chance LOL so he goes out of his way seem more “intellectual”

basically he’s like “i’m gonna venture into poetry bc girls love sensitive guys” and convinces the entire football team to host slam poetry nights in hopes you’ll show up at the shows

he starts leaving little poems in your locker and it’s like rupi kaur shit 😭

“you’re the brightest rose

in this garden

and you 

don’t 

even

know.

---a.m.”

☆ anyway you don’t even show up to the slam nights (you have ✨taste✨) but you do show up to his games!

☆ and eventually he works up the courage to actually ask you out and ofc you say yes bc he does it in such a cute way ugh

he stops you in the parking lot after a game and goes like “hey, uh, yer in my econ class and all yer comments are always so funny and..” and he’s just word-vomiting and eventually he gets to the point where he’s like “anyway i was wonderin’ if yer free friday night?”

☆ your first date is actually at an empty field near school

you’re just talking and getting to know each other better in the back of his pick-up truck under a bright moon, covered in blankets, each of you cradling a hot mug of cider

it’s kinda chilly but atsumu is literally a furnace

and atsumu just opens up the notes app on his phone and he reads you six poems and they’re all like 4 lines with weird enjambment HAHAHA

“you look. 

just like the moon. 

---a.m.”

most of his lines are actually plagiarised from popular country songs and you definitely recognise them but he just looks so darn cute awh you can’t rlly call him out rn (but you definitely do later in your relationship)

around two hours into the date he’s like “actually i’m the president of the slam poetry club” and you’re like “oh that’s cool!” (no it’s not omg ur praying he doesn’t start slamming right then and there bc you’ve heard rumours of what horrors the club has produced)

☆ if you like driving be prepared to Not Drive once you start dating atsumu (... or at least drive Less Frequently… unless you cut him a deal of some sort...)

he LOVES picking you up for school and this is the only time he’ll change the music playing in his car !!

he puts on the little playlist he made just for you and it’s got songs like:

cruise by florida georgia line (he literally always runs up to you and randomly sings “baby you a song” 😭)

burnin’ it down by jason aldean

play it again by luke bryan

but your song is “our song” by taylor swift ugh he knows every single line and he’s been dreaming of having a relationship like the one she describes ever since it dropped

ps: he’s actually the world’s biggest swiftie and thinks her earliest albums were the best

he got osamu on board too LMAO they go to her concerts whenever she visits their state. now you do too!!

☆ always drives with one hand on your thigh bc he’s just like that 🥰

☆ tried to learn how to play the guitar to serenade you but it was a miserable fail (he just can’t do the barre chords bc they’re so hard and what for !!)

☆ he’s such a good line-dancer tho

he’ll take you out to dance and it’s just such a vibe to see him smiling under lights, spinning you around at the barn dance with the goofiest smile on his face

☆ any time you guys fight or argue he’ll head out to the pasture behind his house and brood under the moon in the back of his pick-up truck LOL he’s so dramatic but it’s so cute!!

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 23

A/N:  *sings* Taaaake me to church...

February 25th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was officially 22 years old.  

Despite all the events of yesterday, she was happy.  She had a few texts from friends and some Instagram notifications already waiting for her when she woke up, and they put her in a good mood.  Her parents called her as she was putting on her makeup, and talked to her until she left to get breakfast downstairs.  She already knew she would FaceTime Siena after practice when they got back to the hotel.

When she got downstairs to the continental breakfast, some of the guys were already there, and she knew everyone else was on their way.  Jake was already there, wishing her a happy birthday at the scrambled eggs.  Mitch was there too, who poured her some orange juice as he wished her a happy birthday as well.  Jason said she should be sitting down at the table while everyone else got her the food she wanted.  She giggled.

Willy and Kappy arrived together.  Kappy wished her a quick happy birthday before he started to get his food.  Willy lingered by her.  “You talk to your parents yet?”

“They called me this morning, yeah.”

“Siena?”

“We’re FaceTiming after practice.”

William nodded his head understandingly.  “Happy birthday,” he smiled softly.

She smiled equally as softly.  “Thanks.”

“You gonna be blasting that Taylor Swift song or what?” Travis Dermott asked he appeared beside them, plate piled high with scrambled eggs and bacon.  “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling twenty-twoooOooOOOooo!” he sang aloud in a horrible high-pitched voice, definitely trying to mimic Taylor Swift but of course failing miserably.

William set down his plate and put his hands over his hears dramatically.  Travis began dancing while trying not to have the bacon spill over his plate.  Aberdeen couldn’t help but laugh.  “Were you doing that when you turned 22?” she asked.

“You bet!  That song was on a 24 hour loop,” he smiled.

“Poor Kat.”

“She lived.  So what’s your birthday wish?”

“For you guys to win tonight,” she winked.

“We can make that happen,” he winked back.  “Can’t we, Willy?”

“My ear drums burst after your awful singing.  What did you say?”

“I said WE CAN WIN TONIGHT, CAN’T WE?” he yelled so loud other patrons in the eating area looked towards them.  

Aberdeen shielded her face and William turned completely around so they couldn’t see his face.  “You’re the worst, pal,” William said to Travis.  “And by the way,” he shifted focus to Aberdeen, “we’re definitely winning the game tonight.  For you and only you.  Bust also so that we don’t have to hear any more of that.”

***

“Did the boys promise you they’d win for your birthday?” Brendan asked Aberdeen as they walked together through the halls to their box for the game.  

“They did,” she nodded.  “This morning at breakfast.”

“Think they’ll be able to do it?” he asked.  They both flashed their credentials to the security guard who let them through easily.  Aberdeen could even see Kyle down at the other end of the hallway waiting.  

She shrugged her shoulders.  “I hope so.  It would be kind of nice.”

“No hoping,” Brendan shook his head.  “Do you have faith they can win the game tonight for your birthday?” he asked again, his voice sterner.

“Yes,” she answered automatically, nodding her head.  She did have faith in them.  She had faith that William would probably show off tonight like he showed off when Siena was in the building in Ottawa, but she wasn’t exactly going to vocalize that out loud.  “Do you?”

He took a moment to think about it as he looked at her.  It wasn’t an automatic reaction like hers was.  “Yes,” he finally said.  “Because I know how much they adore you.”

***

“Look at him fuckin’ go,” Kyle said with a giant smirk on his face as he watched the replay of William’s goal.  It was beautiful.  The Leafs were on a powerplay and he was sitting pretty right in front of the net.  After a feed from Mitch not going exactly where he wanted it go, William ended up sneaking it in between his legs and putting it in the net, top shelf.  Bardown.  Beautiful.

“He just surpassed his dad in goals not even two weeks ago and now this.  Now he’s just showing off,” Brendan giggled, looking at the replay himself.  

Aberdeen watched replay after replay.  “This is absolutely unbelievable by Nylander” she heard the announcer say as he broke down the play and the goal.  She was so enamoured by the coverage and the breakdown and the smile on his face at the end of it that she almost didn’t notice what Brendan whispered to Kyle.

“Think he’s showing off for someone?”

***

Brendan made sure he and Aberdeen took their time walking down to the locker room after the 4-3 win.  He made sure to have his cell phone constantly in his hand, waiting for the right text to come through.  He made sure that when he did, he hurried down there with her tagging along.  

Aberdeen followed Brendan into the locker room.  Brendan nodded at Sheldon.  Sheldon nodded at him.  

“Alright boys!  Everyone get in here!” Sheldon yelled out to the team.  Everyone settled down and came back in the locker room, either standing or sitting in their stalls, their gear half on or half off and their hair still sweaty from the game.  Brendan and Aberdeen were in the back, standing just in front of one of the entrances, making sure not to block Jack Campbell’s view.  “We came back hard tonight.  We showed them what we were made of.  We held them off in the third period.  We stuck with our game.  Willy with that game winning goal that I’m sure is gonna be on every highlight reel this season,” Sheldon smiled, and some of the boys clapped and whooped for him.  “It was a good fight.  It was a good…hey…hey wait.  Where’s Spezza?” he asked, furrowing his brows.  “Where’s Spezz?”

Everybody began looking around the room.  Even Aberdeen started looking.  “Spezz?” Tyson asked really loudly.  

Silence.  

And then…

“Haaaaaaaaaappy biiiiiiirthday to yoooooouuuuu…”

Out of the corner of her eye, Aberdeen saw Jason walk into the locker room carrying a giant slab cake, with 22 candles lit up throughout.  It started with just his voice, but as the words dragged on, more voices joined.  She saw giant smiles on the entire locker room’s faces as they sang along, and she immediately covered her face in embarrassment, getting way too emotional.  Even the cameraman that they sometimes brought on road trips to film content for Blueprints was filming her.  

“Haaaaaaaaaappy biiiiiiirthday to yoooooouuuuu…Haaapppy Biiirthdaaayyy dear Aaaaaaaberdeeeeeeeeeen, haaaaaaaaaappy biiiiiiirthday to yoooooouuuuu!”

The entire locker room began cheering and clapping loudly.  Aberdeen couldn’t believe it.  She shook her head at everything that was happening – the cake, the singing, the filming, the shit-eating grins on everyone’s faces, particularly Jason’s and Brendan’s – and blew out her candles in one big blow, causing everyone to cheer even louder than before.  She knew she had an embarrassed look on her face – because she truly wasn’t expecting anything like this – but she was so grateful for the gesture.  Her eyes were even tearing up, though she didn’t know why.  

“Aberdeen, I think I speak for everyone when I say we wish you a very, very happy birthday in your twenty-second year of life,” Brendan began.  “You came into our lives in September, and since then, we’ve grown more and more in love with you, your outfits, the books you bring on the plane…” he motioned with his hands for the guys to pitch in.

“Your no-nonsense attitude!” Jason contributed.

“Your rockstar Halloween costumes!” Travis yelled.

“Your Willy fashion roasting!” Kappy yelled.

Everybody laughed.  Brendan laughed too before focusing back on her.  “From the streets of good ol’ Etobicoke to 50 Bay Street…you’ll always be part of the Maple Leafs family, Aberdeen.  Always.”

Aberdeen’s breath hitched in her throat.  She nodded her head.  Those were some very kind words from a very powerful man, and she knew just how much they meant.  And the fact that he was saying it in front of the team meant so much more.  She thought it would be over and done with, but Kappy and Travis had other plans.  “Speeeeeeeech!  Speeeeeeeech!” they chanted.  “Speeeeeeeeeech!” everyone else followed, expecting it like she’d just won an Oscar.

(Maybe she deserved one, since she’d been sneaking around with William and nobody seemed to be the wiser.)

“There’s not a lot I’m gonna be able to say without crying,” she said, still shaking her head.  She was still very well aware that the cameraman was still recording.  “But seriously, thank you guys so much.  This means a lot to me, considering how much of a family we are here.  You guys, I…I can’t say enough about you guys.  Honestly.  But for how much you might love me, I hope you guys know how much I love you all too…”

The guys began clapping when they realized she really couldn’t say anything else because she would have gotten emotional.  But it was Brendan who spoke and eliminated the feeling by screaming “ONE MORE TIME!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABERDEEN!”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!” they all rushed towards her screaming, engulfing her in a giant mob as she screamed at the fact that twenty-plus men were about the crowd her like she was a fellow hockey player.  The only one who didn’t was Jason so he could save the cake.  Thank God.

“The gift!”

“Where’s the gift?!”

“Somebody get the gift!!!”

Aberdeen furrowed her brows.  Mitch ran from where Jason had come from, hockey pants and socks still on, and brought out a giant box from the back.  He placed in right in front of Aberdeen.  “What did you guys do?”

“We started thinking about it at the beginning of the month—” Kasperi began, but Jason quickly cut him off.

“—Jen and Bee said we should get you something.  But I mean we all thought of the idea of what to get you,” he said, throwing a look towards Kappy.  “John went out and bought it, but like we all pitched in.”

Aberdeen kept unwrapped until she tore a part of the wrapping paper and saw the Louis Vuitton logo on the box.  She gasped out loud.  She didn’t care that everybody in the room was watching her at this point.  “Whaaaaaaat did you guys do?!” she shrieked, ripping off the paper even quicker now.  When the wrapping paper was off and she opened the box, she gasped dramatically.  Everybody had pitched in to buy her a Louis Vuitton Keepall Bandoulière carry-on bag in the damier azur canvas colour.  “Are you for real?!” she asked, delicately moving the tissue paper to the side and taking the luggage bag out of the box.

“You like it?” Jason was smiling at her reaction.

“Now we all match with our Louis Vuitton!” Auston winked.

“Yeah, and now you can’t make fun of my fashion anymore!” William yelled.

“Oh yes I can,” Aberdeen replied automatically, not even looking at him – still admiring her new bag too much.  “Seriously—I—what made you all decide you were going to get me Louis freaking Vuitton?”

“You roasting Willy’s fashion choices, actually,” Jason laughed out.  Brendan laughed too.  “Just thought you deserved something nice too, for putting up with us all the time.”

“I’m still making fun of Willy’s fashion choices,” she deadpanned.

“We figured.”

Aberdeen didn’t know who cut the cake.  All she knew was that she was handed a piece once she was done groveling over her new bag.  She didn’t know when the music started playing.  All she knew was someone took her phone and started blasting her Spotify, and a weird variety of songs came on: “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy, which most of the guys vibed to; “Dancing Queen” by ABBA, because of course; and “(Dancin’) On A Saturday Night” by Barry Blue, which caused Tyson to grab her and start dancing with her comically.  The guys were eating cake and taking off their gear.  The media was still peeking in though their time and interviews had long gone.  She wondered if they got pieces of cake.

When everything was said and done, everybody loaded onto the bus to get back to the hotel.  She still had a stupid smile on her face as everyone filed in, carrying the box in her hands like a party-size pizza.  She put it onto the seat beside her before taking out her phone to respond to some of the last messages she got from her friends, and saw some notifications that piqued her interest.  

@kristenshilton: Leafs are celebrating a birthday in the locker room after their Tampa game.  Cake and everything.  I’m told that it’s chocolate.

@kristenshilton: ‘Vossi Bop’ by UK rapper Stormzy is playing.  Nylander tells me, “It came up on Aberdeen’s phone.  It’s her birthday.  We promised we’d win the game for her.”

Aberdeen Bloom, in question: Brendan Shanahan’s personal assistant.

Aberdeen wondered if this was the first time her name had been put out there by the media.  She honestly had never searched her name on Twitter before so she had no clue.  Now that it was out in the open, what would happen?  What would Brendan say?  Would he want it out there?  She didn’t have the answers.  The only thing she knew was that it didn’t matter right now, because it was her 22nd birthday.  She could deal with it later – if she even needed to deal with it.

She went through her unanswered texts and Instagram messages thanking everybody for their birthday wishes.  Just as she was about the locker her phone again, she opened her email inbox, noticing a few spam emails from sites she’d signed up for.  

But one in particular caught her eye.  She opened it immediately.  

Dear Ms. Bloom,

Thank you for your submission to the “Memoirs” section of Toronto Life.  We have read your essay “Maple Leaf For…Now” but regret to inform you that our team of editors has decided not to publish the essay.  We thank you for your time and submission.

Best regards,

Sandy Miller, Senior Editor at Toronto Life Magazine

She immediately closed the email.  She didn’t need to read it twice.  She didn’t need to dwell on the feeling of being rejected.  Again.  

It was a quick drive back to the hotel.  She followed everybody up to their respective floors and rooms, getting some final happy birthdays before she opened her own door and escaped into her own room.  She put the giant box next to her luggage – she’d wonder how she was going to handle the packing tomorrow.  She took her phone out of her pocket, seeing a text from William already.  

i’ll let u know when i’m coming maybe 20-30 mins?  the guys are pretty hyped and i want to make sure they’re in bed

Ok.  No problem.

brendan was right tonight u know we all fell in love with u from the beginning i hope u know that

😇

She waited patiently yet impatiently.  During the time she was waiting for him, she’d washed off all her makeup, took a quick shower, and even changed into her pajamas.  She debated whether or not she should greet him with a sheetmask on, but then she figured that it was her birthday and he’d probably want to kiss her all night, so she decided against it, even as a joke.  There was no way she’d waste a sheet mask.  

She was sitting on her bed scrolling through her phone when she got the text from Willy.  She prepared herself, and when she heard the slight knock on her door, she practically jumped out of bed and ran to the door.  She opened it quickly.  “Hey,” she smiled, closing the door behind him, even locking it for good measure.

“Hey.”

“What a goal tonight, Will!” she giggled as he got closer, wrapping his arms around her.  

“For you,” was all he said.  He apparently didn’t want to talk hockey – regardless of how pretty his goal was – or waste any more time.  He just began kissing her.  Big, open-mouthed, passionate kisses as he walked them towards her bed, falling on top of it when it reached the back of Aberdeen’s knees.  Like many times before, they were making out like teenagers; they couldn’t help it.  William found her insatiable, and Aberdeen found him just as much, if not more insatiable.  She snaked her hands underneath his hoodie and took it off, leaving him shirtless.  He did the same to her, leaving her topless in her bed.  

“Aberdeen?” he mumbled against the skin between her breasts after what felt like hours of kissing, touching, and grinding against each other’s bodies.  

“Yeah?” she managed to get out, though she could feel how hot her body was.

“Can I taste you?”

“Huh?” she blurted out in the most vulgar way that was humanly possible, completely embarrassing herself.  She was sure William was going walk out the door right now and never turn back.

William snorted.  “Can I taste you?” he asked again, slower, with a dumb smile on his face as he looked up at her.  

“I…I…” her chest began to heave slightly.  “I mean…okay.  But um…I’ve never…” she kept trying to find the right words, but when she thought about what she actually needed to say, it just made her more embarrassed and more prone to stutter out her response.  “I mean, I’ve never had…you know, anyone go down on me before.”

William stopped, furrowing his brows.  “Wait…you’ve…you’ve never—”

“No.”

“You haven’t been eaten out before?”

“No.”

William seemed shocked.  “But you…you’ve had boyfriends…?”

“Yes, Will.  God.”

“So…” he was trying to piece everything together.  “That guy I met, Zane or whatever his name was…he never ate you out in the entire year you dated?” he asked.  Aberdeen shook her head.  “What kind assholes did you date?” he shrieked.

“Arrrrrggghhhhh,” Aberdeen grumbled, covering her face with her hands in complete embarrassment.  “This is so embarrassing!”

“Noooo no no no, come on, it’s okay,” William kept repeating and cooing as he pushed himself back up, one hand placing itself on her stomach to caress the skin there and on her sides while he leaned on his other arm.  “Aberdeen, come on.  It’s okay.”

“Is it though?  Is it really?” she was peeking through her fingers like a kid.

“Of course it is,” he assured her.  “It means I get to be the first one.”  Aberdeen removed her hand from in front of her eyes so she could give him a look.  “Was there a reason why it never happened?”

Aberdeen shrugged.  “I mean…I’ve always been a bit self-conscious about it.  Like about how I’d react or how I’d, like…taste,” she used his own words.  “But Zane said he didn’t like to go down on girls, so I sort of never, like, asked for it.  He was like that from the beginning.  And I felt embarrassed to ask if I was just gonna get shot down.  I mean…I wanted to try it.  He just never would.”

“Did you give him blowjobs?”

Aberdeen knew she shouldn’t be getting uncomfortable, because she was with William and she was comfortable with him and trusted him completely, but it was a direct line of questioning she wasn’t used to.  Though she talked about her hookups or past boyfriends with Siena or people like Kasha, she didn’t go into extreme depth like that.  “Yeah…a whole bunch of them, actually…” she admitted.

She watched as William shook his head, getting angry.  “That guy was a fucking asshole, and I’ll look through every stupid fucking cubicle in the city if I have to so I can punch him in the face for you.”

Aberdeen let out a sigh, running her fingers through his hair to push it back.  “Does that make me lame?  Be honest.”

“No, minskatt.  It does not make you lame,” William asserted.  He brought his hand up to caress her face, and trailed his fingers up to her new scar just above her eyebrow.  He touched it delicately and she didn’t wince.  “Listen…I want to taste you.  I want to make you feel good,” he continued softly.  “I know you’re nervous.  It’s okay.  I promise that I’ll go slow, okay?  And I’ll stop whenever you tell me to stop.”

Aberdeen was nervous – perhaps more nervous than she’d ever been – but she nodded her head.  “Okay,” she said.  

“You’re sure?” William confirmed with her one more time.

“Yeah,” she nodded again.  “I’m sure.  Just…go slow.”

He’d heard her request those words before.  “I will, minskatt.  I love you.”

“I love you too, Willy.”

He began kissing her again, trying to get her as comfortable and relaxed as possible – how she was before he proposed the idea.  They kissed again for a long time, William making sure he could sense her comfortability before he began to move down, running his lips and tongue down to her chest.  His lips left her skin only to take off her pajama pants and underwear, slipping them off slowly at the same time before discarding them to the side.  He could feel her shiver.  “You alright?” he asked.  She nodded her head.  “I’m going to make you feel great, I promise.”

“You better.”

They both giggled slightly.  “Just tell me when to stop if you want me to stop.”

“Okay.”

He continued to kiss his way down her body, eventually spreading her legs open and settling in between them.  He could feel her take a deep breath, so he kissed some more – along her belly button, her hips, on the insides of her thighs.  When he did that, there was another shiver.  “Minskatt?”

“What?” she asked, like she was having trouble even getting the word out.

“Hold my hand.”

Aberdeen looked down.  Seeing his face in between her thighs was quite the sight to behold.  She grabbed onto one of his hands and intertwined their fingers.  She could feel his thumb rubbing her hand assuredly.  She didn’t think the first flick of the tongue to taste her was coming so soon.  But as she felt his tongue along her folds, she flinched slightly out of surprise more than anything, squeezing his hand.  “Oh fuck,” she sighed out, her hips bucking.  

With his free arm, he pushed gently back on to the bed.  “Was that okay?” he asked, his mouth still dangerously close to her lips so that when she spoke, she still felt them move against her.  She nodded quickly.  “Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” she said firmly, her response automatic.  “K—Keep going.  It felt good.”

Aberdeen looked down, only to make eye contact with him before he dived in again.  Her eyes rolled to the back as William continued lapping at her, making her feel better and better with each stroke of his tongue.  Soon, there were no nerves anymore – no worries about how she tasted or how she’d never done this before – and her body was doing the talking, squirming and writhing and sighing, her little oh fuck and oh my god comments the fuel William wanted, needed, to keep doing what he was doing.  He did everything – quick flicks of the tongue, long laps from bottom-to-top, top-to-bottom, and sucking and licking like he was drinking a thick milkshake, making sure Aberdeen got the full experience.  

Her moans were his music.  At one point she had let go of his hand so she could bunch the bedsheets in her fists.  He could hear her huffs and sighs.  “S’at feel good?” he asked quickly.

“God, yes,” Aberdeen whispered, her voice so soft and so full of innocence at the new feeling of it all that William almost came himself right then and there.

“You taste so sweet for me, Aberdeen.  You’re so sweet and it’s all for me,” he said, his voice low and full of lust and Aberdeen almost came right then and there.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuck, Willy,” she couldn’t say much more.  When he lapped at her with his flat tongue immediately after, she instinctively went to grab and tug on his hair.  He’d made it a personal goal that he would make her come with just his tongue, and his groan in response and the vibration from it made her whimper.  “Willy—I—Willy—”

He did it again, and she cried out.  With his face so firmly planted on her pussy and with her tugging at his hair and making sure he stayed down there, the feeling was almost too much, but she knew she wanted him to keep going.  She knew she wanted the build-up.  She knew she wanted it to last as long as it could – as long as was physically possible for Willy – because this was, perhaps, the best feeling she’d ever felt.

The fact she was getting louder made Willy know she was enjoying it.  She’d moved on from squirms to moans, and now from moans to audible cries, words frantic and scarcely used but enough so that he knew he was doing a good job and she wanted him to keep going.  He kept up his movements so he could keep hearing her, the tugging of his hair bringing him the same kind of pleasure as he was currently giving her.  

Then Aberdeen went a bit quiet.  William didn’t like that.  He looked up at her as he was still licking and noticed she was staring up at the ceiling.  He squeezed her hand to get her attention.  “You okay?”

She looked down and saw how wet his lips were – how her juices were all over his mouth, really, and she could have fucking cried.  It was one of the hottest things she’d ever seen.  “I feel really close,” she whispered, her voice strained.  She’d been moaning and crying out for so long that he was surprised she even had one left.  “I—fuck Willy—I feel so close.”

William wanted to make sure any part of her that was still holding back – if there was any left – didn’t hold back at all.  He made sure he was making eye contact with her.  “Come all over my face Aberdeen.  Come for me.  Now.”

Aberdeen had never been so turned on.   He lapped and sucked once more and within seconds she was a screaming, writhing mess.  She couldn’t be quiet.  It was impossible.  As her orgasm overcame her, flooding her entire body with pleasure, she tried to stop her legs from clamping together and squeezing William’s head in between her thighs.  He didn’t care.  William moved with each squirm, each scream, each buck of the hips, never once taking his mouth off her pussy as she came long and hard and completely, not once.  She screamed and huffed and moaned until she couldn’t anymore, until her throat was dry.  When she felt herself finally coming down from her orgasm – earth-shattering orgasm, really, if we’re being specific – she looked down at saw William already looking at her, smiling, her juices all over his lips and face, and she knew it was a sight that would be permanently etched in her mind.  

When Aberdeen regained basic consciousness, she could feel William kissing the insides of her thighs again as he was chuckling slightly.  He kissed his way back up to her, and when his lips landed on hers, she let out her last moan she had in her as she tasted herself on his lips.  “You taste incredible,” he said once they finished kissing, looking right into her eyes as he licked his lips.

“I can’t believe that was what I was missing this entire time,” she said.  “Zane’s a fucking asshole.”

William chuckled louder this time, nuzzling himself into her neck as he placed light butterfly kisses there.  “I told you,” he said.  “It felt good for you?”

She nodded.  “It felt incredible.  I’m serious.  You’re going to turn me into one of those nymphomaniacs.”

“What did you like the most?”

“All of it,” she said immediately, because it was true.  There was absolutely nothing that she didn’t like.  As she felt his body rest beside hers, his lips still lingering on the skin of her neck, she could feel his erection.  She turned a bit so she could look him in the eye, kissing him quickly.  “D’you want me to take care of that?”

“No no,” he shook his head.  She didn’t understand, especially since he was rock hard.  She couldn’t believe him going down on her made him so aroused.  “This is all about you.  I’ll take care of it.”

“Willy—”

“It’s okay, minskatt.  I’ll take care of it,” he said, giving her a kiss before rolling over and getting off the bed.  She watched as he disappeared into the washroom and closed the door behind him.  She couldn’t think of anything else to do, laying in the bed completely naked thinking about what had just happened, until she thought to grab her underwear and put them back on.  She kept herself topless though, as maybe a little treat to William, as she went back to thinking about the feeling of his tongue on her folds, shivering as she remembered.

William was in there for a while before he came back out, seemingly having taken care of it, and climbed back into bed with her.  He placed kisses on her breasts and nipples before moving to her neck and finally her lips, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closed against his body.  He was topless, too, but kept his boxers on.  “I love you, minskatt,” he whispered.

“I love you too Willy,” she said, his body heat and warmth she felt lulling her to sleep so quickly.  “Thank you for being my first for that.”

He smiled.  “The pleasure was all mine.  Go to sleep, minskatt.  Go to sleep.”

***

The next morning, William was still in bed with Aberdeen.  They’d hardly moved, limbs still intertwined and still holding on to each other like the other would float away.  Aberdeen woke up first, her eyes gently opening, noticing and appreciating how close she was to Will.  Instinctively – really, she couldn’t help herself – she brought a hand up to his face, barely touching it with her fingertips.  The stubble along his jawline and cheeks.  The curve of his perfect nose.  His soft, sweet lips.  He was truly so beautiful.  She couldn’t believe he was hers.  She couldn’t believe she was his.  It was a magical thing to wake up in William Nylander’s arms, knowing that he loved her, and knowing that she loved him.  

He shifted slightly, letting her know he was awake – or at least waking up.  “Minskatt?” he mumbled, barely audible, before he even opened his eyes.

“I’m right here,” she said in an equally soft voice.  

He opened his eyes.  He smiled sleepily once he saw how close they were and sighed contently.  “I dreamt we were in Sweden,” he whispered.

Aberdeen felt a shiver run up her spine.  “Yeah?”

He nodded.  “My family was there.  My sisters loved you.  Alex too.  You were sitting by the lake at our house in the country,” he said.  “Your hair was down and you were looking over your shoulder back at me.  It was perfect.”

Aberdeen couldn’t help but smile.  His voice was so soft and his emotion so innocent.  “Tell me more.”

“You had on a pretty dress.  The sky was blue.  So was the water.  We could do what we wanted and nobody cared.  We could be open with our love and it was so beautiful.”

She felt a small pang of guilt at that.  At this point, she knew how bad they both wanted to be out in the open, but life dictated that they couldn’t.  She couldn’t just up and quit her job and lose her income.  They needed to ride out the wave.  It would happen eventually; it just couldn’t happen now.  “I’m sorry that we can’t,” she whispered, caressing his face again.  

“Don’t apologize, minskatt.  We will one day.  You’re still the best thing in my life and always will be.  I’ll wait forever if I have to.”

It was that statement that got Aberdeen emotional.  Here he was dreaming about her in Sweden with him and his family, freely showing their love, but the reality was that couldn’t happen.  Yet he said he would wait forever.  She wasn’t sure about that.  No guy had waited for her before.  “But you’ve been waiting already for so long,” she whispered, her eyes welling with tears.  “Why are you waiting for so long?  Any other guy would have given up and moved on already.  Why haven’t you?”

“Shhh, Aberdeen, stop,” he said, squeezing her tighter.  “Don’t you get—Aberdeen, you’re it for me.  I don’t care that I’m waiting to be out in the open with you.  I will wait however long you want me to, alright?  You’ll always have me.  No matter what happens.  You’ll always have me.”

Aberdeen nodded.  There was nothing she could say to that.  Her heart felt so full at his words.  He’d wait.  He’d wait as long as he needed to.  He loved her.  He adored her.  She was it for him.  “I love you, Willy.”

“I love you too Aberdeen.  So much,” he kissed the tip of her nose.

Aberdeen kissed him on his lips, needing to feel them against hers.  Like always, they couldn’t stop.  “Make love to me Willy…before you have to go.”

He did.  It was slow and it was sensual and it was tender and it was everything she could have wanted, needed that morning in bed with him.  And afterwards, when he had to put his clothes on and sneak out back to his room, he sat on the edge of the bed and kissed her.  “Jag tänker på dig när jag inte ens tanker,” he whispered against her lips.

Aberdeen smiled.  She didn’t know Swedish but she knew those words.  They were theirs.  Theirs and only theirs.  Which is why she repeated them back to him.  “I think about you when I’m not even thinking.”

[bisluthq]

Bet Hiddles thought he has reached/ gonna enter the high of his life in 2016 with Night manager, Bond rumours and prancing around with Taylor. Then boom!💥. If he looks his name on twitter based on that Hindi tweet he liked, he definitely came across ppl roasting him and praising baby boy and the quality of songs he inspires. No prize for guessing he is not fond of Joe😏😂

Well we know he doesn’t like baby boy like he refuses to fucking say his name 💀💀💀 which is still one of his most stupidly messy moments lol. Like few people know about it but like come ON Tom just say Joe Alwyn it’s three syllables they can’t hurt you 💀💀💀

But yeah I think he thought in 2016 that he was about to be Daniel Craig and that he’d found his blonde Rachel Weisz and he was gonna be killing it and instead she dumped him, he lost all the jobs, the ones he had legit tanked and the leading man moment faded completely, and he was like… mocked lol. Still is.