#but yk. tryna be good to myself. idk!!!!!

[whorez-corez]

chat i went outside alone today. i rode the bus and bought a pear and read my book and nothing bad happened. i was okay. i survived. holy shit.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

i had this old man teacher in middle school who basically was Charles Xavier. i mean, he looked the part, he sounded the part, he acted the part- really the only difference was the lack of telepathy and he could walk. and the name i guess.

well i ran into him the other day and his recently wedded husband. they met when he was in the military forever ago and reconvened and inevitably tied the knot.

his husband’s name?

Erik.

i am being dead serious. a part of me evaporated.

What in the reddit story…….. youre yanking my chain SURELY…. But if youre not has his husband ever expressed revolutionary ideation or—

[todayisafridaynight]

i was playing about dropping Fifty Drawings onto everyone's dashboard this week but the unfortunate reality is i am in fact being assaulted with images

[umeqii]

-⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY ⠀⠀⠀. . . ⠀⠀⠀but you're lowkey cool .

fandom ; class of 09

character ; nicole

gender ; female reader (lesbian nicole real)

creator ; umeqii

QUICK A/N - so like idk i'm a nicole kinnie and so like i might (i will) self project but yk ^_^ and uh idk i js wanted to post smth abt co09 bc like all i saw was mf jeffery ones and no one likes jeffery he's a fucking wierdo anyways!!

TW - like it's co09, so mentions of pedophilia, drugs, dark humor, sh, suicide jokes, things like that :P

─── WHAT IT'S LIKE DATING NICOLE !!

okay so it's quite clear that nicole is a sociopath, and she's aware of it and she payed VERY little attention to you at first

i guess you were just like, that one girl who just sits in class n minds her business and overhears alot of weirdass drama like that one blonde bitch kelly being inlove with her cousin or something

but you had a new student, and you gotta admit, she was really pretty ≥∇≤ !!

her personality; not so much (real though)

anyways, you grew up to read people really easily from the way you were raised n shit so when you first spoke to nicole in class, you realised she was faking to smile; or just faking to be nice in general

so you kept that in mind, but didn't say anything because you were loekwy afraid :P

one time, you guys had science together n this kid jeffery kept tryna talk to nicole and it's not like you were mad at her for tryna make new friends, it was jeffery you were mad at

he didn't even acknowledge you one bit ☠️☠️

so you just end up standing next to them saying nothing and looking like a random stranger

when nicole sat in her seat, with jeffery rambling about anime girls or something, you saw how she looked REAALLLYYY pissed so you were gonna sit in your seat (which was opposite hers) and ask her

UNTIL THAT BITCH JEFFERY LIKE SAT IN IT ☠️☠️😭😭

you just ended up staring at him with a slightly open mouth when he ignored your soft askings of "can you please move?"

that's when our favourite toxic lesbian said something!! (i'm delusional)

" oh my FUCKING god, next time i hear anything about your stupidass anime cat girls, i will actually hang myself from this light. like who the fuck even asked?? i know damn fuckin' well i didn't. and get your greasy and filthy ass out of y/n's seat, you bitch. "

😨

that was jeffery's face (and lowkey yours' too)

he got out of your seat and mumbled an apology to you and sat somewhere else leaving you and an annoyed nicole sitting in silence

" oh uh...are you? "

" do you have any meth. "

" ah fuck sorry, i don't do.. uh yeah "

" you look like you do, you seem fucking crazy "

" oh. "

so like after that, and you, being the sapphic you are, ended up falling inlove with nicole !!

she was lowkey a bitch and you won't lie, toxic as fuck but she was your only friend and she stuck up for you so that's good??

she treats everyone with no respect at all, but for you, you can see the SLIGHT change in attitude

like you see her with jeffery, then people like jecka and emily, and you!!

she would always say things about you guys making out or having sex in the bathrooms and you couldn't tell if they were jokes or not

but like i lowkey cba to say how ym got together so all ik is that yu asked her out, she made out with yu and yh

so like now HEADCANONS time

nicole is an insecure girl deep, deep down so that's why she acts the way she does.

but yeah, those insecurities make her REALLY jealous 😭😭

it's sometimes concerning .

like one time you were approached by emily and she was asking you if you wanted some drugs or something, which you declined, and you ended up complimenting her hair and saying how it brings out her eyes and she ended up hugging you

then nicole stormed over and started going fucking crazy mode at emily saying how " don't you have like a 30 year old boyfriend you can give head right now? so fuck off and let me give this bitch head instead, you cokewhore!! "

something along the lines of that

like i guess showing affection makes her pretty vulnerable, so when ym are in public she's a bitch

she's really controlling or whatever the word is (toxic)

"y/n, you know how much of a fucking pathetic loser you are? just think how fucked up you would be without me, then. like no offense babe, but you're really fucking deranged in the head but i guess that's something that makes you hot."

okay that's all i can think of but yeah i also hate parental controls like why are only 5 of my apps unlocked like let me go on discord ://

you guys should add me on discord, my user is umeqii yiu bitches /affectionately /nf

[moonrisecoeur]

IM BACK CUZ IM MENTALLY UNWELL OK. and yes you’re the best sub Leon writer 😏🥱 and yes I liked it, SITTING ON HIS FACE? 😍🥱

I’m so sorry for blasting ur req box but YOURE AN ACTUALLY GOOD SUB LEON WRITER SO can you blame me? concept: idk why but re4 Leon is so free use coded and so imagine he is on a mission with a new assigned partner but she’s an asshole to him (“fuck off man, I can do it myself, “I don’t need your help”, “you’re too nice and gonna be taken advantage of 😐”, etc. You get the gist) and his goofy ass just tryna be nice and helpful, cuz this is leon we are talking about. But the fun part ⁉️ they have cameras installed in the hideout they are saying at for security purposes. But ofc, Leon always tries to check on reader to make sure she’s ok - even if she’s an asshole to him. AND YK WHAT READER DOES 😭 she’s way too horny and just goes at it, girl got a masturbation problem on god. Every night. One night - wrong time and place - Leon opens his laptop to see the cameras making sure she’s ok AND HELP HE SEES HER … yk. And he feels guilty like he shouldn’t watch but he does anyways. And this goes on for weeks. Until one night he’s sick and tired of her always being so mean and he accidentally lets it slip that he’s been watching her LOL AND SHES LIKE UHM BOY WHAT 🙄⁉️ and he tries to play it off like “I didnt mean to” but like, my brother in Christ… you’ve been watching every night for weeks 🤨 wdym you didn’t mean to? ANYWAYS LONG STORY SHORT SHE PUNISHES HIM AND HEAVYYYY ON THE FREE USE THING. Love you bae 😘

i made a couple minor changes just for convenience :) fem reader she/her pronouns!

also i didn’t write the smex scene IM SORRY but i have been working on this all day and i need to get to other asks but i promise i’ll write some more free use in the future because it’s so smexy

-

"look, i know you don't like me-"

"oh? really? tell me what you think you know, kennedy," you scowl at him, and though it spooks him just a little, he tries to seem unphased.

he frowns, not hurt by your words but definitely concerned that you'll make a bad partner, "you don't need to be this hostile. we're allies. we're supposed to have each other's backs."

"right..." your voice echos, and leon knows that if it came down to it, you wouldn't protect him, wouldn't save him, would barely help him. he's practically on his own for this mission, just has an extra body with him to shoot at the bad guys.

it hurts, to some degree, because even without knowing you well, and even with you being cold and rude to him, he knows he'd come to your rescue in a heartbeat. something about him feels fond of you, even though in your entire time knowing leon kennedy, you haven't said one nice thing to him.

he thinks that maybe he likes that you've never been nice to him. he doesn't really know what to do with that thought.

-

leon is proved wrong.

despite the harshness of your words, you come to his rescue, fighting off the villager who almost decapitated him with an axe like both of your lives depend on it (because they do).

he watches you fight nervously, but when you come out on top, aside from the gash wound you take to the hip, he feels his heart skip a beat.

"this is what happens when you hurt my partner," you groan, holding your side, trying to speak through the pain even though leon can see the blood seeping between your fingers.

you whisper something in your victim's ear, something leon can't quite make out, before you kill him. leon wonders what it was briefly. he decides it doesn’t matter.

you both breathe a sigh of relief, but it's short lived as you collapse to the ground. you saved him. you got hurt saving him.

"here, let me help you," he mutters, coming over to you, not even stopping to ask if you want his help because he knows you'll say no, "stop fighting me. you're hurt and i need to patch you up."

the pain is agonizing, but even through gritted teeth and tense breaths, you push through it. he has to commend you a little bit, you're tougher than you look.

but when you try to push his hand away, claiming "i'm fine, kennedy," he sees the struggle in your face, hears the hurt in your voice. his heart seems to stop. he's worried, "i can do it myself, you don't have to- fuck, dude, i don't need your help-."

"-just relax, okay? i got you..”

you don't have the strength to push him away, but you know you shouldn't anyway, so you just slouch back against the wall and try to breathe, "fine, just fuckin... hurry up."

"i'm just trying to take care of you. we're partners, right? i gotta look out for you," he smiles, trying to lighten the mood even slightly. he wishes that this would be the time the barriers come down, that those skyscraper walls that prevented him from coming any closer to you emotionally could come crashing down, if only for a moment.

"you don't have to do anything. you're choosing to put yourself in danger to help me," you groan as you lean back, looking up at the ceiling, "suprised that no one's tried to take advantage of your willingness to help before."

"someone did," he mutters annoyedly, focusing more on the wound then it being your wound, on your body. his eyebrows, almost naturally furrowed from years of stress, somehow make his face even more sad to gaze upon. it's not that he's unattractive, far from it, but he's... worn. tired. a piece of your heart, no matter how far you keep away from him, aches in sympathy.

-

leon carries you back to the safe room, a hideout you both are using to rest and recover in while you plot your next move. he lays his jacket on the ground to at least give you something comfortable to lie on. you don't look comfortable, but he can't do anything else to help you.

he looks through his things, trying to concoct something that will at least make you feel a little bit better. he finds a first aid spray, and his heart jumps out of his chest in excitement. he uses it to take care of your wound, and waits for you to wake up from your unconscious state.

he decides to go back out, hoping to maybe find some other things to help you both on your mission. he knows you'll berate him for leaving on his own, risking his own life needlessly. but god if he didn't imagine what it would be like if he found something you could really use, and watch your eyes light up. even if you didn't like him, you'd be happy. he wants to see you smile, to praise him for a job well done.

he cringes at how pathetic it sounds, but he sets off either way, leaving you wrapped in his jacket with a note from him saying what he's doing.

-

he doesn't do it intentionally. at least... not the first time. genuinely, he just wanted to check up on you, make sure you were alive and breathing and safe. and you definitely were.

he doesn't know why its so hypnotizing, why he can't put his goddamn phone away with the stupid security app on it. of course it's you, though. you're hypnotizing.

he watches every pixel, every distorted view of you touching yourself in the safe room, obviously unaware that he could... see this. he's glad there's no audio, or else he'd be unable to control himself, even in an abandoned building surrounded by zombies. maybe its the years that haven hardened him, burned the fear out of his soul and numbed him to the presence of those things, but he doesn't feel anything but uncontrollable desire right now.

have you been doing it the whole time? you both had spilt off from each other multiple times, and he would almost be upset at the idea that every time he was fighting for his life and barely, barely winning that fight each time, you were getting off a couple hundred feet from him in another room... if it wasn't so fucking hot to watch you masturbate.

he keeps watching until he notices that you're having an orgasm, body twitching and your chest heaving up and down as you take deep breathes. it's so fucking sexy, leon probably could have cum on the spot if he watched anymore.

-

you keep doing it. he keeps watching it. over the course of the mission (of course he had to be stuck on a long, secluded recon mission with you of all people) he's watched you too many times. he doesn't think he has enough fingers to count how many times, which either means he's been on this mission longer than he thought or you have a fucking addiction. he's almost kind of impressed at how efficient you are. takes you 10 minutes tops, and then you just get back up and keep on trucking? his sentimental, post-nut ass could never.

and, though you recovered from your wound, you haven't displayed any sense of gratitude for leon taking care of you when you passed out after getting hurt. not that he expects it, truthfully. you saved his life, he saved yours. you were even.

he just doesn't feel like he's broken any new ground. he feels like, if anything, you feel even further away, emotionally. he's about had it.

"hey, we need to talk," he says, ominously; he doesn't intend it to be so, "i understand you don't like me. it's fine. i don't even care anymore. but i am tired of you talking to me like i'm a pushover."

you look over at him, reloading your gun with a displeased look on your face. leon hates the inner urge he has to cave and apologize to you, as if his body would rather give up any sense of dignity he still has in favor of being slightly more tolerable to you.

"well? are you going to say something?"

you scoff, looking away, "didn't know you were so fucking sensitive, kennedy," and you turn around, ready to walk out, before he snaps, "this isn't a pleasure trip. sorry you're not having a good time."

"clearly you're having a good time with all the pleasure you're giving yourself while i'm trying not to die."

he stops. panicking. trying to think of how to spin the words he just said and make it not sound like he knew every tell you had when you were about to cum or exactly how you touch yourself in order to get yourself off quickly.

you stop as well. and you look back at him with this expression on your face that is completely unreadable.

maybe it wasn't the best move to reveal the only card he had left to play if it mean he would get this reaction out of you considering that, again, you so clearly do not like him.

... right?

"what... did you say, kennedy?" you ask, pure venom in your voice. it's not a question, you so clearly heard him correctly.

"i- i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that-"

"have you been watching me?" you take a step closer, eyes boring into his soul so intensely he can't make eye contact. he has no way out of this situation. he feels out of breath, nervous, god why are you getting so close to him? "answer me, leon," not kennedy, leon, "have you been watching me masturbate?"

he looks up, trying to keep himself from making eye contact. he knows the second he looks into your eyes, he will be putty in your hands, free for you to mold into whatever you'd like. he knows you're not looking at him with distain like usual, it's something else.

something hungry.

"yeah," he breathes, barely getting the world out at all. you take a deep breath, as if you're debating what you're going to do.

"what you did was wrong, you see that, right?"

"yes, i know, but-"

you scoff, annoyed. god why in this moment, just inches away from you, you notice the moles on his neck, the angle of his jaw, the entrancing aura of his eyes. it's so damn distracting, and you have to pull yourself together, "but nothing. you watched me without my consent, you got off on it, didn't you?"

"god, you're making it sound so bad, i... i'm sorry, okay? how can i make it up to you?" he asks, trying so damn hard as always to please.

this is where you come to realize that maybe you didn't hate leon kennedy all this time. maybe you found yourself too comfortable, too at ease in his presence. maybe he was safe and sweet and gentle and it didn't sit right because nothing in a world with zombies and bioweapons and cults and parasites was gentle. but leon is.

you look down, considering your options, "i have an idea. you're free to refuse and we go back to before, and you get nothing from me. do you want to hear it?"

"sure?"

you take a breath, going for it, "i’ll be… blunt. if you couldn’t tell, i’m a bit.. insatiable. i need something to get myself off now that i’m getting bored of my own hands out here. you help me, and i’ll forgive you for watching me.”

his thoughts stop. he genuinely can’t put together a coherent thought, what did you mean? "are you.. are you fucking serious? you barely speak to me, every time you do speak to me you act like i'm the scum of the earth, you act like i'm not here when i saved your ass and carried you and patched you up, i-”

you cut him off with a kiss. it’s not gentle, it’s rough and messy and your fingers dig into the skin of his cheeks, leaving him red and breathless. he finally gets it. you don’t want him to help you, you want to use him.

he lets you push him down, pin his body to the wall as you kiss him breathless. he lets you dig your nails into his neck even if it hurts. he lets you touch and kiss him as rough or as gentle as you like. and you don’t like being gentle, clearly.

“use me,” he whispers between kisses, and when you pull away, eyeing him intently, as if urging him to explain himself, he does, “do whatever you want. just keep going until you’re satisfied. don’t… don’t hold back. whatever pleases you… i want that. i want to please you.”

“awh, you just want me to be happy with you, don’t you?” you coo at him, endeared by his selflessness. truly a good man in a bad world, “that’s all you’ve ever wanted, hm? for me to like you?”

his resolve cracks just a little bit more, “uhm, yeah…” he his voice is shaky, unsteady, and he just needs to give in.

“then you’re going to let me do this every single time in horny and need something to get myself off. i’m going to do whatever i want to you, and i’m not going to ask. you’re just going to let me. if you don’t, then we go right back to being enemies, and you really don’t want that, right?”

he stutters aimlessly, his knees going weak. he’d truly be done for if you weren’t hold him up with a strength he did not know you had.

and you just keep going, “i’m not going to ask or care if it’s a bad time. i want it to be inconvenient, uncomfortable, ill-timed. i want it to be permanently in your head that i can have you whenever i want you. that i can do whatever i want to you.”

“only i get to have you, got it?”

“g-got it,” he mutters weakly, feeling your hands on him, touching him in places he hasn’t been touched in a while. he didn’t realize how desperate he was.

“only i get to touch you, only i… get to fuck you.”

he nods helplessly.

“it’s too bad i didn’t bring a dildo in my bag when we set off for this mission, because i would so fuck you with it until you’re seeing stars and apologizing for going behind my back… but i suppose i’ll just have to satisfy myself with your cock…”

[youremyheaven]

U GUYYYSSS storytime:

So I got talking to a guy a little while ago and we vibed realllyyy well. He's lowkey the textbook definition of everything I'm looking for in a guy. He's 6'2, well to do (not rich but does veryyyy well for himself), BULKY BROAD SHOULDERED, Venusian etc

The synastry of our charts is insane 🥵 He had Mercury atmakaraka (remember my Mercury DK?? 😌)

He has a Venus Moon and stellium and he's the most Venusian guy I've ever met,,, he LOVES beauty, art, the female form etc and appreciates it. The way he spoke about it was so hot to me ngl,,, mf was so poetic,, he really knew how to speak sensually without ever being creepy or vulgar

His Mercury AK was in Purvabhadrapada and he had a puppy like softie Jupiter guy personality. I loved the fact that he looked like a WWE boxer (bulky af 🥵) but had the personality of a golden retriever. LITERALLY ALL MY DREAMS seemed to be coming true.

I knew his birthday but not his rising sign. Yk what they say about "if something's too good to be true, then it is" ??? yeah, i just couldn't brush off the feeling that something wasn't right. But I couldn't straightaway ask for his birth time, esp since he's Hindu and will know what's up 🤭😂 ANYWAAAYYYS we're talking and everything and this man is love bombing me HARD and I know it because:

a) I'm a retired love bomber myself

b) This is not my first rodeo

and anyways this 🧔🏻 is talking marriage and babies, he's calling me wifey 😭 (kinda cringe bc he's known me for dayyys but good lord handsome men can get away with anything 😤) and he refers to himself as "husband" 😭😭😭 like "husband's proud of you" and "your husband doesn't want you to apologise" 😭 (ew but he's hot 👉🏻👈🏻) and I let myself have my delulu moment and try to give him the benefit of the doubt bc literally he checks every box 🥹and he's soooo completely fond of me. We used to run in the same circles like 10yrs ago, even though I had no idea who he was and never interacted with him then, he told me that he remembered me from back then and thought I was cute 🥺 and later I took a looooong break from social media and he told me he'd wondered where I was all those years 🥹🥹and then I apparently showed up in his "suggested for you" on IG a few months ago and he instantly recognised me and followed me etc 🥺🥹 he's been tryna hmu for monthsssss now but I was with my ex 🤡and then I was recovering from my ex 🤧 so I didn't pay much attention to it. When he told me all this, it kinda made me melt 🫠 how he kept trying to talk to me even though I repeatedly ignored him etc

And he did everything right. I could text him rn and he'd reply in 5 seconds. He always asked me how I was, remembered things, always sent me like 20 different messages until I replied, showered me in compliments (Venusian men love to pour you with their attention, it can even be annoying lmfao) etc like there was nothing in his behaviour, his tone or his words that was giving me 🚩 he genuinely seemed sweet, caring etc and he loved babies 😩 and sent me videos with his nieces and nephews (man's was manipulator pro max) but YK ME 🤪 when I have a gut feeling ☝🏻 I can't ignore it 🤓 so I was very much waiting for the ball to drop and watch him fuck up somehow 💀 initially I felt sooo overwhelmed by all his love (bombing) that I felt like the bad guy for not reciprocating it or feeling that kind of "love at first sight" thing 🤡 BUT

one day he said "I can't believe I found you after 10 years, that means no matter where you are after another 10 yrs, I'll find you then as well" and I was like 🤨 I thought you wanted to marry me and make me your trophy wife 🧐 huh 👀 and he was all 😂😍haha yes ofc I'm just joking bbg 😍😂 but I knew there was more to it

Finally I got his birth time AND GUESS WHAT???

He's Hasta Rising 💀💀💀💀

Idk if you know already but I don't like Lunar men 🤡 and the minute I found out, I was SCREAMING bc 😭 why would God play me like that???? Put the most perfect guy, astrologically and otherwise, in front of me, I literally have him wrapped around my pinky and HE'S A LUNAR??? why God why 😭

But him & I had come too far for me to dump his ass for no reason 😬 (can't tell him it's bc the sus vibes I got from him was further bolstered by him being Lunar 🤭) so I was praying to God to give me an opportunity where he fucks up so that I can walk away 🚶🏻‍♀️from this situation before things get out of hand

AND GOD DELIVERED 😩

I was texting him the other day and he spoke about how he wants to spend as much time with me as he can before we go out to chase our dreams (move away from this city basically) and I was like 🤨so you're looking for a short term relationship?? And he was like 🥺 no never and I was like why tf would you say you want to marry me and have babies (1 boy and twin daughters 😭🤡💀) if you already know you cannot commit???? And he was like "because we could meet again in a few years and it would be nice to have this plan ready" 💀💀💀💀 HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT AKSKKSJSJDIID brother thinks my IQ is in the negatives bc WTF sort of explanation is that 😭 and i told him "this manipulation might work elsewhere but not on me, good luck tho, bye, I'm done here 💅🏻" and he went 180 and said "I'm so sorry, I was just trying to be funny, please give me another chance, all I meant is that we never know how things go so we can try to work things out but there's no guarantee, please I'm so sorry" 😂😂 and he called me like 3 times and finally said "Can we atleast still be friends? i can't lose you like this" AJSJJSJSJ THE AUDACITY 🤡💀🤡💀

but I just want to say thank you God for showing me his true colours and for giving me the opportunity to exit with grace and dignity and making him feel like a fool 😌✨

[kishabuns]

The first time I saw my dream person

LOA succes story sp!!

(Warning flipping long)

JSBUSVSHSHHD WTF JUST HAPPENED

(This is just a lil intro if you wanna get too the juicy juicy skip this part)

Ok so imma just use this as my public diary idk. Buttt a couple of weeks ago I found the loa and I was really amazed by it I mean just assuming something and boom you got it! Like it’s too good to be true anyways so i started kinda yk ‘testing’. I started with like just small small things like idk money and mind you I used to make like €70 per month like and my peers are making much much more and now. I worked more hours hoping that I would get more money but no I got like €89 I thought it was a lot then but noooo this month I randomly got €170 instead like broooo nothing changed and I even like worked one hour lesssssss. So now I’m convincedddd. I made this cute lil Pinterest collage of like my celeb crushes to see if I had a type yk and idk they all look so different but all have this giraffe vibe abt them.

Likeeeee i know they all like different but so similar keep this In mind Okok this is the vibeeee I was tryna manifest.

The actual success storyyyy

Ok so I did assume that I was gonna find my giraffe boy but I always just kept it at the back of my mind. So nowww fast forward to like maybe the beginning(ish) of the winter break and keep in mind my town is so freaking boring like its really pretty and (aesthetic) but other than that nothing to do really so I went with friends to the city like pretty far ( we had to take a bus then a tram) we shopped then got some bobaaa (I got the taro with coconutmilk 😋)

Okok I was getting really really over stimulated and my friends wanted to go to another cosmetic store so I sat down by the very very full like couches/benches kinda idk but there and I was so annoyed cause there were soooo many people so I stood up and left but like I heard this person trying to get someone’s attention. I just kept walking cause I assumed I wasn’t being summoned but then a soft tap on my shoulder I turned around and I saw someone hand me my phone. Idk what’s wrong with me but I like cannotttt look at people in the eye and this dude was taller than me so I just mouthed a thank you and started to turn around. But he said ‘oh no thank you? I mean I could’ve just left it there yk?’ I looked back slightly offended I mean damn this dude has got a mouth on him kids these days ar— BOOOOMMMM I looked up and saw bros majestic face card looking down at me.

I took like a couple of steps back cause damn it was too bright 🤣 but I just said ‘I said thank you but since you didn’t hear… thank you very much did heard that?’ He softly smiled and nodded HIS SMILE HEHEHEHEH like wow wow my heart was beating this dude looked like a dude from my collage (like he low key looked like Benoftheweek like no high key bro) I just walked away and didn’t think much of it but then the loa popped up in my head I just assumed ‘this man loves me bro why’s he so obsesseddddd like’ but I eventually forgot then…..

When me and my friends went to watch a movie (I always wanted a brothaaaa) i was just looking around the snack area when I saw him with his friends and he was already looking at me I awkwardly looked away and to this day every time I think back I cringe saurrrr baddd like I’m just imagining myself from like third person and the way I looked away was so obvious that I was kinda flustered but anyways we move so lo and behold he was also watching lion king and he sat directly behind me now my heart was beating sososo much but tbh I kinda forgot that he was there tho 😭 so I started crying at the end of the movie and my friends noticed and started teasing me while we were leaving our seats and I looked up bro… why mid tear fall I lock eyes with him like a freaking k-drama I looked away more naturally this time 😜 then continued crying while discussing the movie with my friends

FASTFOWARDDDDDD

I go to this snackbar cause my mom forced me to pick up her order and I had wait for it…. 😔 I had this big ssa light pink hello kitty hoodie, white pj bottoms and the best for last yk those cute plushies that are actually slippers yeah I had those on hello kitty again (if anyone is curious it’s from primark) so as you could tell I did not give af I was running a quick quick errand QUICKKKK but nooo nooo I saw Mr thankyou WTF IS HE DOING HEREEEEE and you’d think that was bad he’s behind the counter… I had to face him in that ridiculous outfit ☹️ and I tried my best not to laugh at the situation that I was in and I see him hold in his laugh as well oh em geeeee so either he recognizes me orrrr I’m just a clown and he’s just laughing at me… nahhh it’s probs not that (right 🙂?)

Anyways I ordered the takeout and stood against this idk like pole thingy and went on my phone just filled with shame I swear why was this exposure therapy… I looked up and i saw him looking at me again but no he was eyeing my fit lawrddddd I wanted to sink into that very ground right freaking nowwwwww I mouthed ‘what?’ And he chuckled while shrugging. He called me to get my food and I went home (mind you my house was literally a 2/3 minute walk from that snackbar

What I couldn’t understand is how did I not know him I’ve never seen him at school I mean I wouldddd notice if he was there and I e never seen this dude ever anywhere let alone that snackbar that I go to every week neverrrrrr so this was like impossibleeee bro like he’s appearance is what I described in my notes he was looking extra fine in that waitress uniform 😬 and I took a peak at his name tag I tried stalking him and nothinggggg came up why is bro actually mysterious like ok damn but I just assumed that I would run into him again I mean loa is that simple so I just went on with my winter break.

Then BOOOOOOMMMMM

To be continued… 👹👹👹👹👹

[evil-peanut-butter-addict-sam]

Ok idk if this wish be a good one or not bcs I am really not in a good state for past few months and idk what's gonna happen next just few days back while I was already insecure with my life safety yesterday a tragic incident happened Liam Payne just died I, I srsly can't believe it if someone can say that it's fake I will hug them bcs I just lost someone from my childhood someone who would instantly put smile on my face when I was sad insecured vulernable by his songs, someone who would say it's all ok you will be fine just trust me everything is gonna be good someone whom I could cry openly even though the person didn't know my existence but yes I lost them even though I still feel something is wrong like I don't think he accidentally felt off or attempted suicide bcs just before like he was so happy meeting with fans hugged them like just the previous night even just before the news of his death came he putted a post in Snapchat telling how his vacation was going on even though there he was a bit sad. But he was a shinning soul the energised one from the band and also the fact that just 18 months ago they said they would reunion but then this happened I don't wanna see their reunion on his funeral bcs we didn't want this reunion. I still can't believe and I still cry when I see Liam in the music videos of 1D. And yk another thing like I lost many including my family members then like Chester Bennington and then Avicii then Ratan Tata and now Liam like if I see Alex Turner is dead idk what the hell will happen with me bcs the person i looked upto are dying thank God Wilbur survived but yea i did tell this to one of my friend and he said I was being gay like what the heck anyway here is the birthday wish.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMMMM!!!!!!! MANNY MANNY HAPPY RETURN OF THE DAY, I HOPE ALL YOUR DREAMS COMES TRUE MAY YOU OVERCOME ALL THE OBSTACLES AND KISS THE ZENITH OF YOUR SUCCESS HAVE A GREAT ONE DON'T GIVE UP ON LIFE BCS YOU HAVE OVERCOMED SO MANY STORMS SO TAKE A LOOK BACK TO ALL OF IT TODAY AND BE HAPPY AND PROUD AND LOVE YOURSELF. I WISH YOU A HEALTHY LIFE A HEALTHY HEALTH AND MUCH MORE ENERGY TO SHOW YOUR CREATIVITY TOWARDS THE WORLD, I HOPE THE POTENTIALS YOU HAVE INSIDE OF YOU COMES TO THE LIMELIGHT OF THE WORLD THROUGH YOUR CREATIVITIES. AND MOST IMPORTANT DON'T FORGET TO ENJOY TODAY AND EAT AS MANY FOOD AS YOU WANT TO AND DO THE THINGS YOU LIKE TO!!! SENDING YOU A POSITIVE MENTAL HEALTH. KEEP YOUR LOVED ONES VERY CLOSE TO YOU AND STAY SAFE.

And yea just a pic from one of the 1D Fan Page I got i just cried after reading it yet crying while writing all of these if you are 1D do take a look at it at your free time. And sorry for putting this so long thing I i just dk...

And also why did you say me thanks when I said not to pls don't do it bcs I feel like I am disrespecting you and like also not only violating my manners but like making the people I looked upto means my idols my comfort person feel disrespected about myself.

And also if you need any help regarding inspo for your wolf cut or anything do freely tell me bcs I wanna help people in need despite in whatever condition I am in I can't ignore the people who needs help. So tell freely.

*Starts to cry like hell*

yeah, I wasn't a huge fam of 1D but it did hurt hearing about liams death- and I completely agree with everything you say.

Thank you for da birthday wish!!

Idk why I said thank you when you said not to it's just mental memory I guess and you aren't ever disrespecting me!! <3

[I'm still tryna answer the long ask you sent me with the questions I'm nit ignore that!!]

[cocozydiaries]

more mha dr asks!!!!!!!!!!

do u have any ideas for your hero costume etc.

anyone you're excited to meet??

any sort of idea on what you look like (physical description ig)

YESS MORE ASKS!! love these sm coz i gotta dig through the depths of my mind to answer them.

question when you guys ask me stuff do you like the overly long answers or should i keep it short? coz like the original answers were wayy longer this is literally me tryna keep it short😭 i actually have a problem

Hero costume:

tbh like most things i’m leaving this one for when i shift there but unlike most things it isn’t coz i want my subconscious to decide. Honestly i do not have the sense of style needed to come up with a good hero fit HOWEVER my drself does!!

i definitely want smth either pink or blue. me and uraraka are gonna be twinin🤭!!

i also know that i want smth kinda flowy. i loooove dresses and i mean i feel like smth flowy would just match my water based quirk yk?

i don’t have any inspo but honestly i’m probably not gonna look very hero like😭

anyways might be kinda odd but i looooove magical girl type of outfits sm! and before y’all go “but that’s so impractical for hero work!” not for me it’s isn’t 🙄

i genuinely did script i have a magical girl type of concept tho but still sorta practical to work in😭

Who i’m excited to meet:

i already know ik them in my dr but i cannot wait to meet my dr family! might be kinda cringe but i actually just might like my family??

i scripted in my cr sibling’s because idk🧍‍♀️. tbh i just can’t imagine being anywhere without them😭

i also can’t wait to meet my cat!! My family adopted a ton of pets because rich people but I specifically ended up with a stray cat i found at the pharmacy.

funnily enough that’s actually smth that happened to me here! except my mumsies said i can’t have the cat so instead the pharmacy took her in but i still get to visit her whenever i go there (she’s so lovely i love her sm!) anyways in my dr i ended up getting to adopt her instead. happy ending yippee.

AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE HER SHES LITERALLY MY BBY☹️ i also scripted (for my own mental health) that pets live wayyy longer now by like 10-20 whole more yrs coz i cannot imagine any of my kids dying before me

if you were wondering the total amount of pets we got a cat, dog, snake, and duck. and like random bird feeder thingies my parents added to the garden. the whole food chain ong

ig i’m also excited to meet up with some old childhood friends? Genuinely asking tho would it be weird to meet up with someone you used to be really close friends with but haven’t seen in a few years😭? Me and my drself are both baffed.

AND OCHAKO ML🫶🫶 i’m gonna meet her at UA probably BUT I HOPE I MEET HER BEFORE THAT TBH😭 but trust we’re gonna be besties

i scripted i’m super good at baking coz she mentioned she likes sweet stuff so i’m gonna spoil her with all sweet stuff i make😈 devious plan

Appearance stuff:

since this is a safe space… i feel i should share that i did in fact change my appearance. I don’t have a specific face claim (i wanna be surprised tbh) but mostly i just changed some of my facial features to their best version. looksmaxxingcore unironically i fear💔

i scripted that my face looks pretty and whatnot (in a very like unique way coz ugh she’s so different and quirky and unique🙄) but i still look and feel familiar to myself.

Also idk if you guys have heard that theory but like apparently after spending enough time with someone you start to look like them? Ik that theory generally means like clothes and aesthetic rather than actual facial features but i did script that even tho me and my siblings are adopted we somehow look similar to each other and our parents.

But the biggest change is probably my hair. in a reality where i can have any hair colour and you think i’m not going pink?

anyways i scripted that i have like pink streaks of hair in my otherwise black hair!! gonna match so well with my hero outfit!

smth like this!!

tbh it doesn’t matter coz i do dye my hair often so i’m probably gonna end up with a ton of different hair colours anyways

aside from that my hair is still its lovely curly self! i love my curls and never wanna get rid of them but i did script if i like straighten my hair that it STAYS straight even if i sweat and whatnot. i haaaaate when you get those curly little wisps peeking through coz of that😭

anyways that’s all for now! i love answering asks sm so this was real fun but i also love hearing about ur mha drs SO TAG ME IF YOU POST ABOUT THOSE

[my-castles-crumbling]

hello hello,

sorry bc this is a bit long and I got a bit carried away

But basically all my life i thought my home life was super great but looking back on it, it was nice but some slightly (only slightly) questionable stuff [I want to clarify that it’s nothing physical but some of it was a little bit fucked up like I have one stand out memory but also I may have made it up bc idk sometimes I’m super sure it happened and sometimes I’m not] went down and now i notice more and more my parents making sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes and offhand comments and then getting annoyed and yelling at me whenever I try and tell them they’re wrong. I also sort of noticed that they’re a bit too pushy and invasive of my privacy [especially my mother who loves to offload her problems onto me and has since I was pretty small and would just barge into my room at any time and tell me about them and I understand communication is important in families but I don’t think 9 is a good age for your mother to regularly be crying to you about how suicidal she feels but she always acted like it was a good thing so I assumed it was too idk] and it’s like half the time they treat me like I’m way younger than I am [late teen] and the other half of the time it’s like they expect me to be a mature adult and like I just want to be my actual age yk but I can’t and tbh I don’t even know how to go about doing that now bc I feel like I’ve sort of been stifled and the thing is I’m not sure how I should actually be feeling about the whole thing because I don’t think they’re actually really bad people [my parents] and I end up feeling guilty about the fact that I just don’t want to talk to them anymore [especially my mum] and like ik people who have way worse home lives than me and I feel like it’s being a bit selfish to complain bc sure they make problematic jokes but I don’t think they’d necessarily treat me worse if I came out [non-binary and pan] but also I don’t think they’d be that great about it like my brother came out as bi and they were like ok but then one time when he was away they were talking about ‘if he gets a girlfriend’ and I said ‘or a boyfriend bc he’s bi’ and they were like ‘yeah he’s bi but he’s only ever really shown interest in girls so we doubt he’s actually bi but I mean if he got a boyfriend we’d be fine with it’ and I was like on the one hand like it could be worse but it still didn’t sit right with me that they just casually assumed he was lying about it even tho he’d literally come out…

also I sort of don’t even want to come out atp to them I just want to sort of quietly cut ties or distance myself

so I sort of tried to do that [as much as I can yk being still a minor and living at home] but now I’ve got my mum not so subtly idk tryna guilt trip me. Like she’ll say shit about how I used to talk to her and now I never do and like there’s a fucking reason [I now actually have friends who I realised I feel way more comfortable around] but ok

Like a while back she came to my room and tried to do the usual complaining thing about how she’s v depressed and all and I tried to respectfully tell her she needs therapy and she got super upset with me and started crying and stormed out my room and then she came back later and tried again and I told her like as nicely as I could that I can’t handle this bc I am just a kid yk as nice as possible I cannot handle my shit let alone yours like my mental health is not great rn and like I want to be there for the ppl in my life not feeling good but also like she’s been doing this since I was pretty small and there’s literally no way I can really support her except spending more time with her maybe but then that’s bad for my mental health especially bc she’ll do offhand shit that she knows I don’t like [like I have sensory issues bc I’m neurodivergent and having a hand put on my shoulder for some reason I just ugh it’s the worst - and ever since she noticed that I would pull away she’s started doing it more and every time I pull away she makes jokes about how she must have ‘a disease or something’ and just UGH sorry it infuriates me]

so basically [sorry for the suuuper long ask] I’m not sure what the right thing to do is, like do I try and remedy the relationship with my parents [but especially my mum] or do I just sort of keep going like this till I’m at uni or what?

again sorry this is way too long

Hi love! First of all, I wanna give a TW to people reading:

TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts

Okay, I'm gonna take this one section at a time:

But basically all my life i thought my home life was super great but looking back on it, it was nice but some slightly (only slightly) questionable stuff [I want to clarify that it’s nothing physical but some of it was a little bit fucked up like I have one stand out memory but also I may have made it up bc idk sometimes I’m super sure it happened and sometimes I’m not]

Okay chances are you're not making it up. Thinking you're making it up is a super common symptom of guilt trips and gaslighting. If you think it happened...it probably did.

went down and now i notice more and more my parents making sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes and offhand comments and then getting annoyed and yelling at me whenever I try and tell them they’re wrong.

This is NOT okay of them. They're being disrespectful.

I also sort of noticed that they’re a bit too pushy and invasive of my privacy [especially my mother who loves to offload her problems onto me and has since I was pretty small and would just barge into my room at any time and tell me about them and I understand communication is important in families but I don’t think 9 is a good age for your mother to regularly be crying to you about how suicidal she feels but she always acted like it was a good thing so I assumed it was too idk]

Uhm hi hello hi. NO. No no no. This is NOT okay. Parents do NOT tell their children about their suicidal feelings. Absolutely not. This is a classic example of parentification. You, even as a teenager, are the CHILD. You are NOT responsible for your parents, and you should not feel any sort of pressure to help with their wellbeing. Nope.

and it’s like half the time they treat me like I’m way younger than I am [late teen] and the other half of the time it’s like they expect me to be a mature adult and like I just want to be my actual age yk but I can’t and tbh I don’t even know how to go about doing that now bc I feel like I’ve sort of been stifled and the thing is I’m not sure how I should actually be feeling about the whole thing

yup. parentification. You've been expected to take on the role of a parent when convenient and act like a child when convenient. this is not okay and you're absolutely right to feel weird and bad and resentful about it.

because I don’t think they’re actually really bad people [my parents]

And here's the thing: that can also be true. A lot of times, parents can both love you/be good people AND unintentionally be hurtful. But in a way, that can be even more difficult because like...how do you explain to someone who thinks they're not being hurtful that they ARE?

and I end up feeling guilty about the fact that I just don’t want to talk to them anymore [especially my mum] and like ik people who have way worse home lives than me and I feel like it’s being a bit selfish to complain bc sure they make problematic jokes but I don’t think they’d necessarily treat me worse if I came out [non-binary and pan] but also I don’t think they’d be that great about it like my brother came out as bi and they were like ok but then one time when he was away they were talking about ‘if he gets a girlfriend’ and I said ‘or a boyfriend bc he’s bi’ and they were like ‘yeah he’s bi but he’s only ever really shown interest in girls so we doubt he’s actually bi but I mean if he got a boyfriend we’d be fine with it’ and I was like on the one hand like it could be worse but it still didn’t sit right with me that they just casually assumed he was lying about it even tho he’d literally come out… also I sort of don’t even want to come out atp to them I just want to sort of quietly cut ties or distance myself so I sort of tried to do that [as much as I can yk being still a minor and living at home] but now I’ve got my mum not so subtly idk tryna guilt trip me. Like she’ll say shit about how I used to talk to her and now I never do and like there’s a fucking reason [I now actually have friends who I realised I feel way more comfortable around] but ok Like a while back she came to my room and tried to do the usual complaining thing about how she’s v depressed and all and I tried to respectfully tell her she needs therapy and she got super upset with me and started crying and stormed out my room and then she came back later and tried again and I told her like as nicely as I could that I can’t handle this bc I am just a kid yk as nice as possible I cannot handle my shit let alone yours like my mental health is not great rn and like I want to be there for the ppl in my life not feeling good but also like she’s been doing this since I was pretty small and there’s literally no way I can really support her except spending more time with her maybe but then that’s bad for my mental health especially bc she’ll do offhand shit that she knows I don’t like [like I have sensory issues bc I’m neurodivergent and having a hand put on my shoulder for some reason I just ugh it’s the worst - and ever since she noticed that I would pull away she’s started doing it more and every time I pull away she makes jokes about how she must have ‘a disease or something’ and just UGH sorry it infuriates me]

This is what I'm saying: it's super difficult to convince someone they're being hurtful when they truly think they aren't. Trust me, my mother is the same way. But you aren't wrong for wanting to distance yourself. Also, don't compare yourself to other people. You have a DIFFERENT home life, not necessarily a better or worse one.

so basically [sorry for the suuuper long ask] I’m not sure what the right thing to do is, like do I try and remedy the relationship with my parents [but especially my mum] or do I just sort of keep going like this till I’m at uni or what? again sorry this is way too long

Don't be sorry! I guess the first thing I'd say is, all of your feelings are valid, and this sounds super difficult. I'm sorry you have to go through it <3. Here's the thing: You are right. There are some things going on in your house that aren't okay. But the reality is, your mom doesn't seem to be willing to hear your opinion about changing them. SO, where do you go from here?

I think the two major things I've had to learn with my (very similar) mother is:

Set boundaries and stick to them. If she's dumping on you and you can't handle it, tell her it's not okay. Keep politely telling her this. There is NOTHING WRONG with doing this, even if she tells you otherwise.

Take what you can get, but don't get your hopes up. Does she want to take you out to lunch? Great. She wants to hang out after school? Awesome. But don't...rely on her to be more than she is.

If you're able to do these two things in a healthy way, this might be your best bet until you turn of age and you're able to reevaluate if you want a long-term relationship or not. But honestly, if you're financially dependent on her, separating from her completely might not be the best idea if you are safe.

The ONLY thing that makes me nervous about this whole situation is your mention of your mom's suicidal thoughts, so I'll leave you with this:

if your mom is scaring you with the way she is talking, call the authorities. You are a minor, and you should NEVER have to deal with that on your own.

No matter what happens, no matter WHAT your mom does, no matter what you do or don't say/do or don't do, your mother's decisions are her own. Nothing she does is your fault.

If you feel comfortable, please DM me! I'm being genuine when I say our moms sound similar, and I would love to talk more <3

P.s. I just want to say that, you are SO smart, as a teenager, to realize that this behavior is not okay. Good for you <3

[bisluthq]

Unpopular opinion but I believe not having the ability to be alone by yourself for a moment after breaking up from a relationship is a bit… worrying? Idk I believe you atleast need to let yourself fully healed and move-on and not just jumping from one person to another just tryna fill the void yk… And no I’m not just referring to a specific celebrity here but in general too. Like please take sometime to heal & reflect, you’re not going to die even if you don’t have a romantic partner

I kinda also believe this but I also am like… never completely single so it’s not something I can JUDGE people for (except in the sense that I think it’s a source of many of my issues). I’ve had stretches where I don’t have a serious partner but even then I was always talking to some people and going on dates and like sleeping around. My bf and I are in a very good place and I’m actually doing a huge amount of work on myself at the moment so I… can’t really see us breaking up in the near future at all lmao like we’ve actually sorted through all the problems we had historically BUT if he threw a curveball and broke up with me OR if he did something nasty and I broke up with him, I really would want to stay single - and I mean celibate - for a while.

My one friend who’s a huge mess in many ways (we are very similar and chaotic) is in a very bad place right now emotionally (like I had to do a wellness check on her levels of bad last Sunday night which is insane because normally I get those I don’t give them) and she keeps saying she’s gonna stay single till December. And I’m like… why December though? What will change? She refuses to do anything like to deal with the depression or get over anything. I asked her to join the gym with me (she doesn’t want to because her ex goes there too and often with my boyfriend). I asked her to come to yoga with me (not at the gym). I’ve suggested she come to another club with me that I don’t really want to post about. She does none of that. She goes to work and she comes home and drinks and she sees her elderly neighbor across the hall and like me sometimes. And she’s saying she’s staying single to work on herself but I’m not seeing this supposed work? All I’m seeing is this lady (and this lady is like my best friend in terms of frequency of communication and proximity to my house) has essentially pencilled in Fuck Day into a random day that month.

anyway my point is you shouldn’t aim to get into a relationship when you’re hung up on other crap. But also some people really are very done with a situation by the time it ends and don’t necessarily need that single time. And also you should use that time constructively like to really work on yourself idk.

[kissesandsuch]

Okay I just gotta say you’re supposed to be a born again Christian and shit you’re mildly upset that not everyone else in the world is but why are you still bitching?? You don’t wanna sit with someone……because they wear an evil eye necklace? Ohhh so you can disrespect other religions and be a preachy bitch and act like you’re better than everyone but god forbid I say oh my god I’m suddenly terrible and disrespectful? Hey bro people were nailing that man to a cross I don’t think a 15 year old girl saying omg is that big a deal. And side note HES NOT FUCKING REAL and even if he is why would I go to hell?? For not believing?? If god is merciful and good and shit he should understand that I’m thinking with my brain and not my heart and I’m simply not afraid of dying and don’t need comfort on it. I also wanna fuck bitches and get money. And also sexualize priests every chance I get. Can’t explain it. Maybe it’s like the mental superiority and corruption aspect of it? Idk I’m crazy. But yeah fuck you bitch I don’t like that girl either but I guarantee if I said ONE THING about being agnostic or an atheist you’d blow up. I’m a good person and shit and I’m not tryna start nothing but seriously fuck you im not dancing around the rules to your made up bullshit. You’re gonna feel real dumb for not being happy and satisfying yourself when you die and realize there’s no god. Womp womp. Imagine not fucking or cussing or doing drugs or masterbating?? Okay what do you do?? I’m playing sorta. Like bro you won’t listen to rock or “devil worship” music? Faggot what??😭😭 tf you mean you don’t support gay ppl you were ankle deep in pussy and yk damn well I’ve been there too. It just pisses me off. Religion pisses me off. It all pisses me off so hard. Jesus is a character THATS ALL. Yall mistranslated a book. That’s all there is to it. Fuck you and fuck god fr. The only amount of faith I have in ANYYYTHING is the universe. That shit WORKS. IDC you tried manifesting or meditating?? Have you tried crystals?? Essential oils?? Rituals?? That shit works in mysterious ways idk. I don’t believe in god but I believe the universe has good things in store for me. I don’t need to pray or worship the universe, I just know it’s there and that’s fire. No personification of it either that’s just my gang the universe. I think that’s a healthy relationship with faith tbh. I have faith that everything will work out and that the universe is on my side and I don’t have to try to be someone I’m not or deny myself or hate others to earn the universes love. I just KNOW it freaked her out when she was talking shit and I started reciting the Bible and told her to love thy neighbor and not judge….hey your words I’m just repeating them….. run that back fr….. it actually makes me mad the only religious people allowed are John Ward and Orel Puffington. That’s all we got. So fuck you and fuck your cult and fuck god and fuck trying to make me feel bad for finding it dumb bc adleast I’m trying to bet you a million I could make you question your belief in a minimum of 500 words but nah I’m not bc I’m a good person why can’t you do the same?

[weirdo09]

sigh i just wish i was older so i could move out, they act like you can’t wish to grow older because your childhood is like the best thing ever but it wasn’t for me, it was like the worst not ever but like the really fuckin worse…

my momma was a bit better than she was now, she didn’t give me half as many remarks about how ‘lazy’ i am or how fat am i or how big my breast are n how much of a burden they are to her because i’m her biggest pet peeve and i’m like fuckin nothin to her and it hurts, it really hurts me

because i loved her, i loved her so much. like she’s my momma yk? the one who’s supposed to love me unconditionally and protect me n stuff but no. she decided i was too useless to be treated like a kid when i felt like one.

it hurts so much like when your momma don’t love you as much as she did when you were born. like i was born bald headed and she used to tell me this story about how a nurse took out the few hairs in my head with a ribbon and she got really mad at the nurse but now she just looks at me in disgust and somethin to judge…

i kinda wish i could just run away and be held, be protected, be cared for like on an emotional level because my momma only did the like legal things like provide shelter, food n stuff but she never seemed to have enough time and love for me but plenty of fuckin bitterness.

it’s so fuckin stupid how i’m like literally sobbin while she’s like ways away from me, none the wiser. i feel like that’s what gets me. she never really loved me but she wants to control me like get me to be ashamed of my body, of my hair so she can pick me up n then destroy all that self confidence to make her the bigger person.

i don’t know, it’s just like my momma’s so toxic, so very toxic and i don’t think i can even care about her n love her like i did before like she like really fucked up our relationship when i was fuckin trying to be her perfect lil baby girl but i can’t i can’t n i hate myself for it because i should but i’m not n i don’t want to be but she would love me.

if i wasn’t myself, if i didn’t like girls n like not give a fuck about gender. if i didn’t have darker skin, if i looked like her, if i acted like her.. maybe she would want me, maybe i’d be fuckin good enough for her.

idk this shit like really hurts because i wanna be myself but she hates that so she’s tryna get me to be her lil puppet, i just want someone to love me.. idc what kind of love that is, i just want someone to love me for me no buts like i don’t have to try, i just know that they love me n i love them like my boyfriend who i love so so much n it hurts that i can’t like be with him and stuff but

i’mma stop blabberin, it’s gettin kinda hard w the tears

my momma said i couldn’t wear my curls(coils) out for school like nobody really cares about my hair enough to bully it. you really want me to get bullied n for what? i mean i am but for reasons you as a lightskin straight woman wouldn’t understand 😒

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

i am gonna tell you this which I have been dreading to tell someone because I really like you like a lot and also I love the way you see things so. As dramatic as it sounds it is just a very silly issue.

We had this exam in our uni where we had to sit with other dept students. I was sitting with EEE department. The guy in front of me was cute. I mean I usually don't find boys cute but I did find him cute. I kept it lowkey(if you dont involve the staring) And one day (middle of exams) my friend who sits beside him casually asked me 'the guy who sits with me during exam, he is kind of attractive right?' And without a second thought I said Yes and since then all my friends have been teasing me with him and I absolutely found it good and I liked it I will admit. And during our last exam, that guy asked my friend about some other girls name from my class and idk I felt really bad about it and I justified it to my friends by saying that 'I don't even look good, why was I even thinking about him'. 2-3 days later, we all like my friends group sit in an area just yk pass time and he sat opposite us but a lil about that side, and I couldn't stop staring at him. I just knew his first name and his department and nothing else. It was kinda obvious. The other girl whom he asked the name to my friend was not sitting where we sit. So like he could have sit there but he didn't. So I assumed maybe yk he doesn't like her anymore and I again started developing crush on him. And on a fine day, while we were walking to lunch, istg, I am not making this up. He crossed path with us(friends group) and my friends were like 'he totally saw you or us and he definitely smiled' and I didn't believe that. Since then I myself have been catching him looking at me. I mean I do stare at him and maybe that's why he looks at me or idk but I do see him when I am not supposed to and he definitely sees me too.

And ok so bc of this obviously my feelings were heightened. And because I noticed that he has been looking at me, I stopped going to the place where we usually sit. And my other friend who goes there said 'you know, I don't think he looks at us or smthg, he was talking to those girls from our class' and I could feel my heart break. Like each time I think maybe it will lead somewhere, it just doesn't and this happened last Friday. And then I have been listening to all the break up songs and songs abt unrequited love and all that bs. And guess what happens on Monday. He stares at me. I could literally see it. Idk why but it felt wrong to me. I mean what is he really tryna do. And what the hell should I do. I still do have feelings for him and I have started blaming om myself for why he doesn't like me. Like it really shouldn't bother me in first place because it was just stupid crush. And I did discuss to my friends about this but they think I got over him because that's what I said them but I haven't.

I probably have wasted your time and I srsly have no idea what I wanted to ask but I just wanted to share.

.

ohhh okay. do you think you'd like to get in contact with him at this point, or just make it go away? i mean, since you don't even know him, and you also don't have any mutual friends, you don't have anything to lose if you chance a smile when he looks at you?

did you stop sitting close to him bc you don't want him to look at you, or maybe bc you were getting shy? i'd say, if you still want him to be interested, to make sure you're in his neighborhood again! who knows, maybe he'd like to talk to you. if you're too shy or nervous to start a conversation with him, try to then have an open attitude and let him come you. it might even take just a bit of eye contact!

[anqelically-archived]

hello hello !! may I request a JJK MATCHUP ? tq <3 I am all caught up w/ the manga

I'd like a MALE match please and I use MIRROR(ED) PRNS ! u can js search it up in google since im tryna keep this as short as possible khdjfg </3

I am an AQUARIUS sun, VIRGO moon, and CAPRICORN rising as well as an ISTP (MBTI) and this is not stated in the rules but I am a type 9 (enneagram)

now onto PERSONALITY, uh lets just say that I dont give off intimidating vibes like,, AT ALL </3 one of my friends literally told me that a leaf gently hitting their face is scarier than me, idk anymore fjjkhd

just by that description alone, u can tell that im considered a v NICE person, I do try my best to come off as FRIENDLY / WELCOMING as much as possible :D

uhh another description is "GOLDEN RETRIEVER VIBES, head empty and kinda stupid but heart vv full" </3 I like to play around with my friends a lot and like,, be a bit of a bully to them FJSJKHD /lh but it's okay, its js tough love 😔🤞💘

u could say that im a PEOPLE PLEASER now that im typing this out LMAO im vv PATIENT & will rarely and I mean RARELY get mad at my loved ones <3

uh this is the more negative stuff since I feel like giving most of my positive traits is unfair, need to balance it out w/ the bad stuff yk ahah🏃🏽‍♀️ I suffer from gifted kid burnout & I overthink </3 I tend to be like,, too hard on myself and I often think that "mistakes = failure" its just the way I was raised, im trying to get over it dhfjkdgf BUT ANYWAYS I kin miwa & yuta (he's the love of my life btw🤞) if it helps :D

LIKES : coffee in the morning, rainy/cold weather, spacing out and daydreaming LMAO, warm hugsrgsgs <3

DISLIKES : arguments, violence, flying insects, eye contact (I cant keep eye contact for the sake of my LIFE, I dont necessarily dislike it but eye contact is js so,, awkward SJKHD)

LOVE LANGUAGE ; physical affection & quality time 100%

in a relationship, id rlly like the fact that fact that somebody considers me SPECIAL and all of the POTENTIAL ROMANTIC MOMENTS idkkjdhfs I think I read too much romance novels, man

uhh since this is jjk, id dislike the constant worrying abt them NOT COMING BACK HOME ifykwim </3 but aside from that, nothing else

how would they react to me staying up 'til like 2am ? im an insomniac and am vv curious FJSHBD

what if they saw my drawings of them ? idk, I tend to draw the ppl I find pretty a lot and if I were to be in a relationship w someone, my sketchbook will most definitely be filled with drawings of them

possible dates that we could go to ? 👀

anddd that's all :D I rlly hope this isn't too long ? I tried my best to keep it short fhskhjsd </3 anyways, I hope u have a great rest of ur day <333

YOUR MATCH IS… MEGUMI FUSHIGURO !

MANGA SPOILERS BELOW

NOTE: i’m going to be honest and say that i usually skip the whole sun, moon, and rising thing ✋🏻 so if you’ve sent me a match-up, i may or may have not actually searched stuff about that specifically. anyways, i think your match-up is a good length! it’s not an essay so i appreciate it bestie 😩🙌🏻‼️ a fun little thing is that you remind me of an oc of mine in some ways ☝🏻

we all know at this point about megumi’s sort of preference in a partner— someone unshakable and kind (pretty much). he sorta needs a partner that would balance out his “darker” (idk how to word it 💀) attitude

being with megumi is special itself. megumi isn’t the type to open up easily, and people usually have to worm their way into his heart. but megumi let you in willingly, and he doesn’t regret it

a trope i would put you and megumi with would be classmates to lovers or former classmates to lovers, given that being a jujutsu sorcerer isn’t something you’d seem to do

megumi tries to spend as much time as he can with you but considering his job as a sorcerer, it can get hard at times. in the end, you two make it out alright

if it’s after a rough mission that he’s coming to visit, he’d just want to lay down with you in bed in your arms (my bb needs comfort)

a situation of this would be when yuji “died”. megumi would silently show up at your doorstep with a downcast expression and you know immediately that he needed you

in a sort of affectionate way, megumi would call you an idiot for always daydreaming and zoning out. he’d lightly knock on your head, “cal? you there?”

coffee in the morning is always a must whenever he comes over. something he’ll appreciate so much is if you make him some black coffee, just as he likes it

he is so hesitant to let you come over to the technical school and meet everyone, though. you met gojo in middle school and the man literally embarrassed megumi in front of you 💀 megs doesn’t want a repeat

he’s never found himself to be disappointed in you. megumi knows that mistakes are made, especially because he’s made multiple himself

sometimes megumi can be caught off-guard when he finds you awake at 2 am. he knows that it’s something you can’t really help, but he has a heart attack whenever he sees you standing in the dark in the kitchen at 1 in the morning (mans just wanted a cup of water before going back to bed ✋🏻)

since you worry a lot about if megumi will come back alive from a mission or not, he sometimes tends to hide the fact that he has a mission. especially when it’s something like shibuya, he hid it at first but the truth was bound to come out when news spread all over the country

dates i can think of are; cafe dates, art museum dates, or just simple indoor dates where you two eat and waste the hours away talking or watching something on television

megumi smiles when he finds out that you’ve drawn him (you know how hard it can be to make this boy do so???). the day he finds out, he’s simply by your side more than usual. “you know i love you more than i say right, cal?”

NAVIGATION

[h0odspice]

This nigga wanted to smoke with me but I don’t smoke he enjoys my company too he’s 3 years older than me. Idk he talked about his ex etc… was he tryna feel out the room it was a good conversation ngl he wants to kick it again. Ngl I enjoyed myself because I just got to talk and be express live I’m not looking for love or partnership atm and today felt really good ? i normally don’t have guy friends and tbh I could use some. Any thoughts and opinions is it weird I don’t want anything? It’s not like I want anything I’m just enjoying myself for what it is ? Sumn nice yk.