#but yes i know the stories are real sad but trust me they do not act super edgy in-world | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elllisaaa · 2 months

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how txt would confess to you

-> words count : 2.9k words

-> genre : txt members crushing on you, fluff

-> warnings : risks of getting delusional

-> sorry if I made any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> masterlist | txt masterlist

CHOI YEONJUN - PASSIONATE

he is the embodiment of a drama queen.

but that’s why you’re going along so well after all, and that’s why he’s such a close friend.

he’s always the first one to want to know everything about the horrible dates you went on, or the dumb guys who tried to rizz you up in some creative ways, to say the least.

yeonjun always laughs at your stories, but deep down he wants to be the one taking you out on a real date and show you how you should be treated.

despite knowing about his feelings for a long time, he doesn’t want to tell you and risks losing you.

so he’s there for you anytime you need, he’s your emergency contact whenever you need to be saved from a tough situation and he even had to pretend to be your fake boyfriend to help you out.

yeonjun knows how to pretend very well, he doesn’t show anything and still comes to your apartment once a week for “girl’s night” - which consists of putting on some face masks and an uncountable amount of skincare while eating snacks and watching films you already knew by heart.

he’s also kind of your lifeguard for when both of you go out together. it’s rare but he usually keeps an eye on you so you don't do anything stupid.

You had left Yeonjun’s sight for about an hour when he found you again, giggling like a maniac with one of your friends, slumped on the couch with a drink in hand. The smile spreading on your face when you noticed him made one blossom on his lips too, and he sat down beside you, one hand coming to wrap around your shoulders.

“- You’re good ?

- Yes ! I really needed that after the shitty week I had.”

In approximately two seconds, the world around you disappeared and Yeonjun could only see your shining eyes as you were talking about a funny thing that happened to you while you were with your friend. And he was already too drunk to be able to focus on two things at once, his brain choosing to concentrate on the way your lips were moving rather than listening to what you were saying.

“- Do you trust me ?”

You looked up at him for a while, being a little wasted too, your mind had some trouble understanding every word coming out of his mouth. But in the end, you nodded your head because you did trust him with your life.

“- Enough to let me do that ?”

Yeonjun’s hand caressed your cheek so softly, you couldn’t help but lean into his touch with delight. Of course you trusted him enough for that. Of course you had wanted him to do that for almost as long as you had known him. So you let him kiss you, let him pull you closer to him.

“- What was that for, Junnie ?

- Just because you’re you.

- Stop trying to seduce me.”

But his eyes were telling you that he wouldn’t, and you were in fact more than okay with that.

“- you know that i’m not the best at following the rules. i hope we’ll both remember that tomorrow.”

CHOI SOOBIN - SAD

the sweetest and most caring friend you could ever imagine, it’s him.

he’s the kind of friend who knows you better than yourself and that will bring you food when you’re hungry even if you didn’t tell him about it.

he’s also the kind of friend you can spend entire days with without talking much, just watching series together and scrolling on your phone because you’re that comfortable with each other.

but it goes both ways because you’re always here for soobin too.

you have known each other for a long time, even before he became an idol, and you’ve been here for him since the start, never doubting that he will make it, and soobin is really grateful for that.

you’re his first supporter, and he’s yours too.

that means he also makes sure that you never compare your achievements to his because you’re just as successful in your field, and you’re just as passionate about your job.

but he sure is under a lot of pressure and it leads to him often coming to you when he’s in a bad mood.

“- You’re already here ?

- I told you I was only five minutes away !”

Soobin smiled to himself as he unlocked the door for you. You were always right here when he called you, and it warmed his heart to know that you would be here for him anytime. As soon as you put a foot inside, you opened your arms for him to hug you, and he fell into your embrace with ease, a sense of relief washing over him when you started to run your hands through his hair.

“- You wanna talk or eat first ?

- Eat. I’ve barely had the time to have something today.”

You sighed, but you were used to hearing him tell you that he skipped meals because he didn’t have the time, because he was too tired to think about eating, because he was so overworked sometimes. You never stopped worrying about him, but you were always here to bring him everything he needed. You sat him down on the couch, emptying your grocery bags on the table, several snacks and takeouts spilling out.

“- Choose what you want, I’ll take the rest.”

Soobin was used to it by now. At first, he felt guilty to “force” you to do such things for him, but the comfort it brought him was worth it. He grabbed a bag of his favorite chips, and some ramen while you opened your bottle of iced tea. You ate in almost complete silence, sometimes laughing about a thing or two, but you knew Soobin also needed some calm after these complicated days.

“- Y/N ?”

You turned around to face him as best as you could from your place on the floor, one of your hands resting against his thigh. He seemed even much taller when he was sitting on the couch like that, but his sad eyes made him look so much smaller to you.

“- Do you think I’m a good leader ? Do you think they made the right choice ?

- Of course, Soob. They made the best choice. You’re doing an amazing job, I don’t think you even realize how much the guys rely on you, and how much you help them on a daily basis. And you even find the time to listen to me ramble about my shitty coworkers, so that says a lot about how perfect you are for this job.”

You could’ve gone on and on about every little thing that made him an incredible human being, but Soobin’s lips on yours stopped you from doing exactly that. But you weren’t going to complain when you’ve dreamt about this moment for so long.

“- i’ve been wanting to do that for so long… will you be my girlfriend ?”

CHOI BEOMGYU - POUTY

playful and teasing you constantly.

and the more feelings he has for you, the more he’s gonna annoy you - it’s his way to get your attention all for him.

he’s always here to poke fun at you, even more when it’s about embarrassing things because your cheeks turn red and he finds it adorable.

however, beomgyu knows when he has to stop and where’s the limits because the last thing he wants is to hurt you or make you feel like he doesn’t take into consideration your feelings.

i think everyone knows that he’s in love with you before he realizes it, and his hyungs kind of have to push him in the right direction for him to have an epiphany.

the moment he realizes he has been in love with you all along, he tries to keep up his behavior, but the blush spreading on his cheeks everytime you touch him or praise him is even worse than before.

it’s honestly very cute, and you sometimes do it on purpose because watching his usually confident self stumbling over his words is charming.

nonetheless, beomgyu would want to confess so you can reject him and he can move on - because you cannot have a crush on him when you’re literally a goddess and he’s a loser.

so when you actually tell him that you love him first, he’s gonna be pouting like a child.

“- What did you want to talk about ?”

You took a deep breath, trying to lower your heartbeat a little. You had planned on telling him all about your feelings for days, you thought you were prepared well enough, but the way you were panicking right now was clearly a sign that you were not ready. But you had to do it right now, or you would lose your courage forever.

“- Uh… It’s a little personal, and you can just send me off if you’re not comfortable, okay ?

- Okay… You’re scaring me, Y/N !”

Well, it was scary for you too. You couldn’t cross his eyes without feeling the urge to run away. Beomgyu’s suspicious gaze also did nothing to reassure you. But you really had to do it.

“- It’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while, but I was too much of a coward, you know me. Well… I kind of have the biggest crush on you, you see ? And I know you probably don’t feel the same about me, and it’s okay, really, I just don’t want to lose you as a friend, you know. You’re really important to me, and if you need some space, or time to think, you can have it. I just wanted to let you know that I love you. And, uh… That’s it.”

You wanted to slap yourself for being so awkward. You wanted to die when you saw the pout on his face, as if he was disappointed in you. Of course, you should’ve guessed that someone as amazing as Beomgyu couldn’t have feelings for you. You were almost ready to turn away and spend the next three days crying in your room when he pulled you into his arms, his head nuzzling against your neck.

“- It’s not fair !

- W-What ?

- You’re not funny, I wanted to confess first. Is it always gonna be like that, uh ? You’re going to take all the decisions for me ?

- I don’t understand, Gyu…”

Well, you had understood, but you wanted to be sure before letting the butterflies come alive in your stomach. Beomgyu took you by your shoulders, rolling his eyes as if you were dumb, but you knew he was just teasing, his cheeks and neck all red telling everything his words couldn’t.

“- i like you too, idiot. and let me tell you, i’m not gonna let you propose to me, i’ll be the one to do it.”

KANG TAEHYUN - HELPLESS

he’s silent, quiet and calm - kind of a focal point you know will always be here.

you are the first person he mentions every time he’s meeting someone new because you’re the first thing that comes into his mind when we’re talking about love.

it started with a friendly love, a relationship that built up slowly, based on trust and honesty.

and then, taehyun started to feel something more. it took him some time to figure out why he wanted to be with you all the time.

he’s the type to be silently taking care of you with little gestures or gifts rather than with words - paying for you when you go out together, putting his hands around the corners when you’re near something he considers dangerous or giving you his jacket when you’re cold.

but taehyun values your friendship too much to dare and break it : he wants to make sure that the feelings are mutual before confessing.

and not gonna lie, it would take him years to actually do it.

plus he also wanna make sure that these feelings are not just a pointless crush or a very close friendship.

but when he starts to become jealous of every guy that tries to ask you out, he has to be realistic and admit that he is really in love with you.

what’s more intriguing though is that you’ve never been on that many dates since you’ve known him…

“- Can I ask you something ?”

You nodded without looking at Taehyun directly, too focused on trying to cut the muffin he ordered for the both of you in half perfectly.

“- If it’s too personal you can totally have that all for yourself.”

That was becoming way more interesting, so you let down the knife, looking up to cross your friend’s eyes. And contrary to his usually calm and collected demeanor, he seemed agitated, anxious. It rarely occurred, and it immediately worried you, the tone of this hangout becoming way more serious all of sudden.

“- Why do I never see you going out on dates ? We’ve been friends for years and you’ve never introduced me to any guy.”

You could feel that he tried to be casual about this subject, but you had known him for too long to not know when he was completely serious. You straightened in your chair, trying to find an excuse, but maybe it was finally time to tell the truth ? Maybe it was finally time to tell him the only thing you’ve never confessed to him ?

“- Can I be honest, Tae ?

- Of course, you can always be honest with me, you know that.”

You nodded and took a deep breath. The time had come. Your eyes fell into his curious ones, and you felt your heart skip a beat.

“- I don’t date because I’m already in love with someone.”

The admission lifted a weight off of your shoulders, but waiting for his answer was even more nerve-wrecking.

“- That’s why I’ve never introduced you to any girls. Because I’m in love with you.”

The smile that blossomed on both of your faces was unmistakable, and you felt like you could fly right now. That was how he always made you feel - like everything was possible. And you never wanted this feeling to stop.

“- i can’t believe it took me years to realize that. i’m going to make it worth the wait, i promise.”

HUENING KAI - ENERGETIC

he’s such a cutie patootie, i’m dying (who could’ve guessed he was my bias ?)

i can’t even start to express how sweet this guy is because he has a fucking collection of plushies, how can he do any wrong in this world, please protect him at all costs !!

that being said, i feel like he’s such a great listener.

anytime you need to vent about something that happened, he lets you do it and cry on his shoulder.

he doesn’t even need to do anything to make you feel better, his mere presence is enough, and it also goes the other way around.

the ultimate proof of his trust in you is that you always have one of his plushies with you at home, under the condition that you have to send him some photos - it’s an excuse to nourish his folder of cute photos of you he has in his phone.

you’re definitely his lockscreen and he feels a strange rush of happiness when people ask him if you’re his girlfriend.

his hyungs would watch the two of you interact while facepalming internally because how can kai be so blind to the adoration in your eyes when you look at him ?

the realization that he’s in love with you will hit him like a truck one day, while he’s simply looking at you while he’s trying to teach you how to play some of his favorite video games.

“- Why are you looking at me like that ? Do I have something on my face ?”

But Kai wasn’t able to answer right away. Why did he only realize how much he liked you now ? How did he spend so much time without being hit by the fact that you were literally the love of his life ? Of course, he always knew you were incredibly pretty. Of course, he always knew something in him reacted like a teenager in front of his crush whenever he was with you, because he couldn’t help the blush creeping up his neck when you praised him for his voice or his dance skills.

“- Kai ? Is everything alright ?”

You shook your hand in front of his eyes for a few seconds, and that seemed to be enough to make him come back to reality because he grabbed your hand in his, his eyes fixed in yours.

“- I think I’m in love with you.”

The confession was so sudden, so unexpected, that it was your turn to be completely silent and not know what to say. You opened your mouth and closed it a few times without being able to produce any sound.

“- Ah, don’t look at me like that, Y/N, you’re making me anxious.”

The truth was that Kai was certainly even more panicked than you. He never meant to tell you that, he never meant to let the words out, but when he felt your body colliding with his, his mind was immediately eased.

“- You’re dumb if you think I’m gonna pass on the opportunity to be with you. I’ve been waiting for you to confess.”

Kai hid his smile against your shoulder, completely forgetting about the game still playing as a background noise on his computer screen.

“- i’m sorry, i’ve been a little slow. will you forgive me if i take you out on a date.”

-> i don't allow copies, reblogs or translations of my work.

txt taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@bbgnyx @hann1bee @snouvllvg @foxinnie8 @lichyuu

#kpop #txt #tomorrow x together #txt x reader #txt fluff #txt reactions #txt fics #soobin #soobin x reader #yeonjun #yeonjun x reader #beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #taehyun #taehyun x reader #huening kai #kai #huening kai x reader #kai x reader

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gayelderstourney · 1 year

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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1

Propaganda:

Gerald Robotnik/Black Doom:

Scientist who wants to blow up the world and his evil alien boyfriend

Dude they had a son together and his name is shadow the hedgehog

They created Shadow the hedgehog together. Yes Shadow the hedgehog. This is canon. Theyre also super divorced just trust me on this.their old man yaoi is real

we as a society would not have shadow the hedgehog without their old man yaoi

old man fucks alien so he can bring his daughter back from space safely, gives birth to sad gay hedgehog

you KNOW they fucked

they’re shadow the hedgehogs dads. Like canonically. black doom is an alien god guy and gerald is eggmans grandpa who didn’t love him enough and gave him daddy issues. he also went insane after the government killed his granddaughter (who he loved instead of eggman) and tried to kill humanity :3 these two are like bitter exes to me. they’re both dead. the devil from the bible fucked that old man

Black Doom and Gerald Robotnik are Shadow the Hedgehogs dads. Gerald is a (silly, slightly insane) old scientist and Black Doom is a two thousand year old alien who wants to destroy the Earth. Its not canon but Shadow's gay dads mean everything to me. They kiss and hold hands on the space colony.

IM DOING MY PART!!! GERALDOOM SWEEP BAYBEEEEEEE!!! GO SHADOW’S GAY DADS!

Sheo/The Nailsmith:

It's really nice because you unlock it after the nailsmith asks you to kill him with the pure nail and you refuse and walk away. He then says he was wandering hallownest without purpose until he found sheo who helped him discover that there was more to life than just one calling. These two are probably the only characters in the game to have a genuinely happy ending

The nailsmith loses his purpose in life after finishing his ultimate masterpiece, his lifelong goal, the pure nail. He requests the protagonist to try the nail on him, but If you refuse, he will find sheo who helps him to find new meaning in life and realise that there is more to life by teaching him different crafts. They can then be seen sculping figurines together, and sheo is also painting the nailsmith.They share a common love for art and crafts and inspire each other. Sheo's story is that he was a nailmaster, but got tired of it, and put down his nail to pick up a paintbrush. I think it's beautiful that he could help the nailsmith realise what he himself did. They both also used to live in solitude without even realising how lonely they were, and I think it's cute tuhat they can do art together now :]

They are two bugs retired from their career and making better lives for themselves and they’re gay about it. Nailsmith believes at first that he has nothing left after creating the perfect nail and asks the knight to strike him down, and if you don’t, he meets Sheo, a retired nailmaster finding a new calling in painting and sculpting. They find a shared love in creating things and Nailsmith finds a new calling in art as well. The achievement you get for uniting them is called “Happy Couple”

Gay bugs gay bugs gay bugs (Cw mention of suicide) They both used to pursue their one passion in life: forging the perfect nail (sword) for the Nailsmith and the art of combat for Sheo. Sheo realized he could just leave that life when he lost his passion for fighting, and he found himself a new purpose in life: art. However, he always seemed very lonely, completely isolated by all other bugs in his hidden house in the middle of a thorn jungle. When The Nailsmith achieved his goal and forged the perfect nail, he lost his purpose in life and his will to live. He asks the player to kill him. However, if the player refuses, he can later be found in Sheo's house, modelling for Sheo or sculpting figurines with him. He thanks the player for not fulfilling his request, because he has found a new calling in life here, making art together with Sheo. They both express how happy they are to no longer be alone. This also gives you the "Happy Couple" achievement, confirming that they are a couple.

THEY'RE CANON!!! They're fucking canon!!! You can talk to them at one point after doing a Bunch of Stuff to get them to meet each other and you get an achievement called "Happy Couple"!!! Gotta love old man yuri

#round 1 #polls #gay elders tourney #tournament poll #sonic the hedgehog #geraldoom #gerald robotnik #black doom #hollow knight #sheo #the nailsmith

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chronologically-challenged · 4 months

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There was this one art a little while ago about the family stuck in a situation where they're forced to play ISAT in some post game scenerio. I keep having many thoughts, but here's some about them figuring out who Loop is:

1) They all BAFFLED by how Loop usually talks. They all thought Loop was this shy little star person. Immediately, they get hit with "have you tried not dying~~~~" into "I think you deserve help" and do not know what to think.

2) Odile is in charge of the controller. Mainly bc no one else wants to control Siffrin and they all have equal amount of video game experience aka none, so Odile is being practical about it. This has the side effect that Odile gets to be all investigative. Odile makes it her MISSION to find stuff out about Loop.

3) Siffrin has complicated feelings about them finding out about Loop??? Like okay they HATE their family has to see all this, ESPECIALLY THAT THEY CAN SEE HIS THOUGHTS!!!! But. Loop. Siffrin hasn't told his family the truth. It's not his story to tell. But. If they figure it out...? In a way that proves Loop wrong, right? That they can recognize them. Maybe it takes a bit because Loop looks different is and actively trying to be different from Siffrin. But. Maybe...? Either way they encourage Odile to talk to Loop. If this is a simulation... if this is real in some way even... yeah he wants to talk to Loop.

Anyway here's a list on how they find out one by one:

Odile: She catches the little stuff. She notes the royal We, the fact that Loop alludes to having an old body by accident, the casual familiarity in some places. All of that. She is also the first to note their eyes being different shades. However, Odile doesn't make the connection 100%, not until Isabeau. Well.

Isabeau: He gets some of the weird stuff Loop says but not as many as Odile. HE finds Loops side comments weirder. He sees Loop's reactions and they're a bit. Uncanny.... and then he has another realization, Loop and Siffrin have the same eyes. When Isabeau notes this, it all clicks for Odile.

Mirabelle: Okay, so. You cannot tell me that Mirabelle has not read fantasy stories with weird guide characters. She has to have!!!! So at first, she's not even looking for who Loop is. And tbh? She has the best read on Loop's personality otherwise. Sassy, but clearly caring. A bit of a shit, but serious when needed. And mainly, she appreciates Loop Being There when the rest of them couldn't. That being said, the moment where the "have you wondered who I am" happens. And suddenly Mirabelle Is Thinking Of the Possibilties. And then the ME option pops up!!!! Odile was already about to pick it but Mirabelle YELLS to pick that one!!!!! Uh. Shortly after that they all have a conversation about how yeah, Loop is VERY likely Siffrin. Mirabelle justifies herself with tropes. Of course!!! Of course they're Siffrin!!! If they're anyone they have to be Siffrin. Siffrin got transformed and became the guide they needed!!!! It Just Makes Sense.

Bonnie: ....Tbh doesn't really figure it out on their own? But also. Loop. Feels like Frin. Not exactly like Frin. But they're Frin enough to be trusted so who cares. It takes awhile for them to really get it too because... it's weird. Also they're the one to really ask why there would be two Frins??? Duh??? And why would Frin become Loop???

Anyway, basically, after picking "Me?" They pretty much are all on the same page. They got that it was wishcraft. They got Loop is Siffrin somehow. I think Odile might figure out that "hey, uh if Loop is the guide then what happens when Loop doesn't have a guide" and Mirabelle probably says "wait Siffrin didn't you say to me once that without Loop you wouldn't have made it?"

Meanwhile Siffrin is a mix of sad and very emotionally touched. Because. Yeah. Even when trying to actively hide, their family recognized them.

Notably, Siffrin gets them to twohats (Siffrin remembers that they understood Loop most after showing them the coin. So yes, the family does get to see Siffrin's "I will forget everything I love" moment. Goes as well as you expect. Lots of hugs and the reassurance that they will bug Siffrin until the end of their days so he can't forget him so HA!)

But yeah. Siffrin really wants to make sure they can get little simulation Siffrin to realize Loop is Siffrin as well. Because if there is any chance of this being real and that they're guiding a Siffrin in another reality, then they want to make sure they can get Loop to know just how much they did. How much they helped and changed Siffrin's fate for the better.

To note: I'd imagine in this scenario, Odile wouldn't go do any of the side stuff. At least not too much of it. There wouldn't be as much exploration either. Siffrin likely would be very underleveled as a result.

So perhaps in this scenario? Imagine if you will that while the Siffrin watching definitely defeated Loop, the simulation Siffrin loses.

And Siffrin finds out that... no. No! Of course Loop couldn't kill him. Of course they wouldn't. There is a catharsis to that realization.

(After they finish the game, either a) prologue playthrough time or b) they're freed and the group IMMEDIATELY try to figure out a way to find Loop bc uh??? Even if they weren't Siffrin, they want to find them. But like. Two Frins. Two Frins they know are different but who cares, no matter who Loop chooses to be, Loop Is Family Too).

Anyway, family plays isat featuring the Loop Saga.

#isat #isat spoilers #loop isat #the family plays isat au #may talk more about it or write it one day but I REALLY wanted to put those thoughts down #this post doesnt even get into Siffrin reactions to seeing all their thoughts laid out for everyone to see #or the concept of everyone kinda hyped to see 'siffrin vision'#and mirabelle being touched that the first thing siffrin did when finding out he may be in a time loop was to try to make her happy #just in general: all the adults get very charmed by siffrin interacting with the world in act 1/2 #also possible catharsis of the family being able to see how it 'should' have gone #anyway I have many thoughts but Ill end them there for now

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majorproblems77 · 6 months

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Linked maze updated which means I'm back! :D

Hello Linked Maze fans! :D

Linked Maze returns with scent pt10, which means I am back to ramble about the small details in the comic because I enjoy it!

If you dont know what Linked Maze is, It's a links meet comic. About the links in a maze.... Self-explanatory really, but trust me it's amazing and I love it. It's great! But also for more mature audiences, so do take care and heed the creator's warnings before going in!

Importantly - Linked Maze and all the art belongs to @linked-maze and its artist @frulleboi, this chapter also had a guest artist, so the second page's art is done by @marenwithanm. And thanks again for the permission to do this! I really enjoy making them!

With that out of the way, My timer is set, grab some snacks and a drink of your choice! And lets get started! :D

We begin with the small bean

He looks so happy, okay, I love him

Aww four, just wanted his sword back. Also here to straight up appreciate the detail with the little ticktacktoe on the scabbard of his sword i love him dearly.

Wolfie looks both Done and worried at the same time.

Also, them discovering Sky's sailcloth! I'm so excited about this okay I want these two groups to find each other so bad.

Also, I was interested cause I dont think we've seen the sailcloth in the story yet. So it's fascinating that it's here. I blame Angel, she has shenanigans that I think work for this. Like imagine when we see Sky and he's like the fuck why do you have my sailcloth I've not seen it since I got here, type thing.

Wind taking charge as he should be.

There's a bunch to unpack here, so just give me a moment.

That's not Sky's sword.

That's Twilight's sword.

The wrappings on the blade and the markings we see on it later match Twilight's sword. (From the character reference sheets.)

Do you have any idea how excited I was when I saw this? Then saw Wolfie's face like

Why the fuck is that there?

I think this tells us two things.

Twilight/wolfie is now able to be armed. So he's got the capability to fight without the wolf form now. So he might transform soon!

Angel/ djævel are using the hero items to bring the groups together for some reason.

But now im considering the implications of having these specific items here. Like, Thats an item from a character from some of the major groups that we know off right now.

Twilight's sword(Twilight, wind) / Sky's sailcloth (Sky,wild,Time) / Four's sword (four, warrior)

Was the idea for them to find it, or for just one of the groups to find it so that they could find the others.

Something to think about.

Moving on!

Me too four... me too

Yes it does. He's sat about five feet from you

Look at his guilty face, he know's but he can't say and he's sad about it.

Warrior looks worried, you think he's thinking of war stuff right now?

A sword planted into the ground with an important item beside it... a sword who they dont know its owner. Its owner who to them could be dead?

Twilight is the only one who know's his sword after all.

Good call Mr. Captain Warrior sir!

Again with the sad wolfie ears, they give me life okay I love him.

Good on Wind for being the one to lead the charge, we need a good vibe like Wind to get us through the shenanigans that I'm sure are going to ensue.

Again Twilight is looking towards his sword. When you think he would be looking towards Wind at this point. But his eyes appear to be looking towards the markings on the sword.

I love his shocked face. He's like

I can't track myself...

Totally not me going to be using this reaction when someone asks me to do something.

Wolfie is the real MVP of this chapter let me tell you right now.

I love this lot they are wonderful

Yes, you look to your sword and think about what you've done.

Sniff sniff out the cinnamon roll wolfie, find him!

Oh man, this update was fun, I got so unbelievably excited about the sword like it's great to basically have a confirmation about something that's been rotating around in my brain since we saw it before.

Thanks again for listening to me ramble my way through another comic update! :D

And thank you again @linked-maze for letting me do this, i will be continuing them (as long as you let me:) ) cause this was so much fun!

Thats me done for this update tho, so I'll be headed out!

Have a great night! :D

#linked maze #linkedmaze #linked maze analysis #zelda au #lm twilight #lm four #lm warrior #lm wind #lm wolfy #comic analysis with major #ramble corner with major #man i am chatty today i love it #Twilights sword made me so unbelievably excited #i love this comic okay

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hallahart · 1 month

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here's 2000 words of self-indulgent solavellan veilguard reunion fic that is wildly noncanonical, apropos of nothing~

The Lighthouse, for all its depressing divorcée energy, is gorgeous—lots of magic lights, frescoes and paintings, high ceilings. Definitely nicer than the mud hovel Rook used to sleep in. But one mural (in what Rook is generously calling the living room—it has more of a tomb-like feel at the moment) is particularly eye-catching, seeing as how it’s about a story high: a woman reaching skyward, rising from the jaws of a snapping wolf with some kind of weird green geometric patterns surrounding her.

“Who’s she?”

Rook doesn’t know Solas well enough to read him—the man is as impenetrable as Nevarran poetry—but they can hear his teeth grind from across the room. For a thousand year old god (or whatever), he sure is touchy.

“Must you pry into every nook and cranny?”

Rook ignores him, peers closer. “Oh, wait, I see it now. Green glowy hand, pointy ears. You know the Inquisitor?”

“I am surprised that Varric—“ he stops himself, starts over. “Yes. I knew her.”

He’s so obviously annoyed and uncomfortable that Rook has no choice but to wiggle their eyebrows.

“Knew her, knew her?”

“The Inquisitor is of no concern to you.” Most people would probably backpedal when Fen’Harel looks at them like that, but Rook isn’t most people. They never really had a knack for survival instincts.

“Oh wow, you did, didn’t you?” Rook can’t quite imagine the standoffish man in front of them being romantic with anyone. He’s pretty…severe. They’re pretty sure he’s never smiled in their presence. “You know, I’ve never seen her in person, but those recruitment posters they put up back home—was she really so, you know…” Rook mimes some unlikely curves.

Solas pinches his nose, and Rook is delighted to see a blush spread across his cheeks. “This conversation is over.”

Rook almost takes mercy on him. But apart from the sad silverware situation, this is the first glimpse of Solas they’ve gotten as a person and not some freaky wolf god with great taste in real estate.

“So did she break up with you before or after she learned you were an evil trickster god?” They wiggle their fingers in mock menace.

Solas’ eyes flash and Rook knows they’ve gone too far. Whoops. Solas can’t kill them, not without possibly frying his own brain (or spirit, or whatever, Rook’s fuzzy on the details), but they’re sure he can make their life pretty damn unpleasant.

But all he does is sigh, the dark circles under his eyes deepening by the second, and holds up a hand. “Let us please focus on stopping the evanuris. Anything else is a…distraction.”

His voice is hoarse, and Rook immediately feels bad. Clearly this wasn't some meaningless fling (the twenty foot mural should have probably clued them in)—Solas is in it. Present tense. The sad empty rooms start to make a whole lot more sense.

You are the loneliest asshole I’ve ever met, they want to say.

“Yeah,” they say instead. “No problem. Plenty else to discuss. Ancient blighted gods freed from their eternal prisons, etcetera. Say no more.”

Rook can’t be certain, but they’re pretty sure the look on Solas’ face is grateful relief.

What the hell happened between this guy and the Inquisitor that makes thinking about the gods that want him dead a relief?

___

Rook is lying on the couch pining over Taash and her stupid sexy crystal horn when Varric and Solas enter, already deep in furtive conversation.

The polite thing to do would be to let out a discreet cough to announce their presence. Rook burrows deeper into the pillows and holds their breath.

“Absolutely not, Varric,” Solas hisses. Sometimes he reminds Rook of a sad stray cat they used to feed. Very similar auras.

They come to a stop behind Rook’s couch. “Listen. I get it. Trust me. But if there’s anyone who can help us—“

“No. It is simply out of the question.”

“You’re going to have to face her eventually, you know.”

“There is no reason for the Inquisitor to involve herself. These are my mistakes to fix. Not hers.”

Rook can picture the pitying expression on Varric’s face. “Look around, Chuckles. Your Lighthouse isn’t empty anymore. Like it or not, you have to rely on the rest of us. And Ellana is already involved, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“The Inquisitor is not—“

Varric scoffs in exasperation. “Took her arm off and can’t even say her name?”

Took her arm off? Whoa. Rook’s heard rumors, but…

There’s a brief pause. Rook can imagine the seething look Solas is giving Varric—it’s been pointed at them often enough.

“Perhaps I should find a crossbow to name after her. Would that please you?”

Varric lets out a breath that’s half sigh, half chuckle. “Too soon. Way too soon.”

Rook’s tried to pry into this whole romantic situation, of course, but Varric always deflects, saying something like Don’t even get me started or You’ll just have to pre-order my next book.

Another silence. Then Solas speaks again, his tone softening. “I have caused her enough grief.”

Varric sounds unmoved. “Yeah, by avoiding her for ten years. Has anyone ever told you that you’re impossible?”

“On occasion, yes.”

“Seriously, if you think she’s going to sit this one out now that she knows you’re here—“

Any gentleness is gone. “Excuse me?”

Varric’s nervous laugh makes Rook cringe deeper into the couch. “Yeah, about that… listen, you know it’s impossible for Sparkler to keep secrets from her. It was going to come out eventually, what with the whole ancient evil gods thing. I think she could put two and two together.”

Rook can practically feel the frost radiating from Solas’ voice. “You will tell her you were mistaken.”

“A little late for that,” Varric says sheepishly. “She’s, uh, arriving tomorrow.”

Rook winces at the slammed door that follows in the wake of this new information, and the movement is enough to give away their hiding spot.

Varric peers down at them, his eyebrows raised. “You heard all that, huh?”

“Yeah,” Rook says, sitting up. “That was, uh…”

“Tell me about it.”Varric sighs, rubs a hand down his face. “Tomorrow is going to be a shitshow.”

___

Inquisitor Lavellan is very short in person. And she looks almost as tired as Solas. And she’s pretty–dark hair and skin, bright green eyes and a wry set to her mouth that looks out of place on the person who was supposed to be Andraste’s prophet. Rook was expecting someone a lot more dour and…Chantry-y.

She’s also really obviously out of Fen’Harel’s league. No wonder he’s been pining for a decade.

She shakes their hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Varric,” she says.

“It’s an honor, your Worsh—uh, your Inquisitorial—“

“Ellana is fine,” she says—kindly, but impersonally, and Rook supposes she’s had this same interaction about ten billion times.

“Ellana, then,” Rook says, and she rewards them with a small smile.

“So you’re the one who interrupted the ritual,” she says. “With some rather interesting side effects, I hear.”

“You mean being magically linked to the grumpiest elf in Thedas? Yeah, interesting is one word for it.”

They’re arrested by the Inquisitor’s hand on their arm. “You could have been cruel to him, and few people would have blamed you. I must thank you for that.”

Her eyes are piercingly kind, and Rook suddenly understands how this woman had entire nations bowing to her will. They have no idea what to say, mouth dry.

“Still, I can’t imagine it’s been easy,” she continues, the wry smile back.

Rook shrugs, hoping their blush isn’t as red as it feels. “In terms of difficult personalities, he ranks a little below my Aunt Beryl, though Aunt Beryl couldn’t turn people to stone with—“

Then they spot Solas over the Inquisitor’s shoulder, hovering in the doorway like a ghost. He’s about as white as one, too.

“Inquisitor,” says Solas, his voice so void of emotion that it gapes like an open wound.

Rook has a front row seat to the expression that plays across Inquisitor Lavellan’s face. Shock — she grabs the shoulder of her missing arm. Then something Rook can’t quite name—a deep well of some dark thing that makes them shiver, something they hope they never have to feel.

And then her mouth settles into a grim line, eyes closing for a moment before she turns, back ramrod straight.

“Solas,” she says, voice steady as she releases her shoulder. Solas’ eyes track the movement with his jaw set.

“You look well.”

It’s like he’s commenting on the weather.

Rook, frankly, wants to throttle him. The woman you’ve painted onto every other surface of your house is right here, you idiot! Say something better than you look well! They try to communicate this through a series of glares, but Solas seems to have forgotten anyone but the Inquisitor exists. Fair enough.

“You look terrible,” she replies, stepping closer. Her voice is thick. Solas takes a step back.

“I think it best if we—“

“Solas,” she says, stepping forward again, and there is nowhere left for him to retreat. She has the Dread Wolf cornered. Slowly, as though taming a wild animal, she raises her hand to him, coming up to touch his face, the line of his jaw. “You’re really here.”

Rook backs away, knowing this is very much not for their eyes and ears, but—well, they’re nosy, and so they pause in the doorway, shamelessly eavesdropping. Luckily the two elves seem to have forgotten Rook’s even there.

Solas exhales roughly at her touch, ten years of tension rushing out of him in a moment. “Inquisitor—Ellana, I—“

“Hush,” she says, and drops her forehead to his.

Solas’ face crumples. “How can you—I do not deserve—” Rook can barely hear him.

“We have plenty to catch up on,” the Inquisitor murmurs, her voice gentle. “But you are alive, and safe. For now that is enough.”

Like a dam breaking, Solas reaches out, his arms wrapping around her like a drowning man, tight as a sieve. Rook is pretty sure he starts to cry, a sob coming from deep in his chest and shaking his entire frame.

Okay. Enough. Rook’s pretty sure Solas would actually murder them if he remembered they were still there. So they make their exit and ease the door closed without a sound.

They’re happy for him, despite everything. And they really hope they don’t fuck on Rook’s favorite couch.

#solavellan #my fic #dragon age: the veilguard #still have no idea what to tag this game tbh #i realize solas is more going to be in Rook's head but whatever whatever #i need him to be phantom of the operaing around please

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whateverisbeautiful · 1 month

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♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#33: The Push (1.04)

While I had to basically dedicate a whole post to that one powerful line where Michonne expresses that she only feels safe when she's with Rick…we now have to talk about how the rest of this riveting scene goes. Because see, Michonne only feels safe with Rick...but Rick is not exactly the one in this gym with her right now as we get the return of his alter ego The Bold As Hell Talking To His Wife Like That Man 😑...

So after Michonne so beautifully and vulnerably expresses herself to Rick, I was very curious how Rick would respond to such a heartfelt confession. Like here is your lovely wife telling you essentially that you're her only true safe space so now you know that no matter how you try to keep her safe from a distance, she’s never really going to feel safe unless you’re with her. I just knew something like that was going to hit Rick’s heart.

But what I didn’t fully realize is that Real Rick is so deeply buried inside Dead Rick so even that moving sentiment from Michonne doesn't penetrate his heart the way I thought it would.

And with Rick's response, this is the most this man has ever tried it ever imo so let’s talk about it...

After Michonne says she only feels safe with him, Rick silently stares at her, at a loss for words again and still frowning. While I know deep down her words hit him, he still has a wall up rn.

Upon hearing this, I feel like you can see on Rick's face that he knows the biggest obstacle to getting Michonne home safe is himself, because she loves him too much to leave him. Hence he proceeds to try and remove the 'obstacle' by no longer being a safe place to land for her which is hard to watch.

Michonne walks up to him and knowing he’s consumed with fear she softly but adamantly tells him, “We don’t have to be afraid, Rick.” I like how she says "we" instead of just telling him he doesn't have to be afraid. They're still one unit to her and they can face this together the second they get it together. She's confident they don't have to let fear dictate how they move because the two of them can always overcome.

Rick is also adamant tho when he responds saying, “Yes we do.” And then Michonne stays asking the right questions when she says, “So that's what I tell our son? That his father didn’t want to know anything about him because he was so afraid?”

Every time Michonne has to acknowledge Rick’s lack of acknowledgment of their son it hurts my heart. 😥 Like Rick, this is a special brand of hurt you are causing your wife.

But as y’all know, it only got worse. 🙃

Rick says, “I’m not the Brave Man.” 😔 And one; I do like how at least him saying this means the Brave Man story Michonne told him about did stick with him. Like he had been acting like so much of what she was saying was just bouncing right off the walls of his heart, but it’s clearly all seeping in, he’s just trying to mask it.

And two; it very sad how assuredly Rick says this. Like he truly believes that the brave man he once was is no more. He only views himself as a fearful failure now. 😥

Rick doesn't realize that the fact that he's still on this earth after everything he's been through is a sign of his resilience and strength so he is still the Brave Man.

gif cred: @nat111love

And then…y’all, Rick says the one thing I told him not to say. 😪

There was one comment that was most off limits and it’s the one he makes when he says, “You shouldn’t have come. I was taken away. I didn’t have a choice. You did.” The audacity. I'm pissed every time I hear it idc.

It was so cruel, so wrong, and so unfair of him to say that. Especially with what this is implying about Michonne as a mother. I think we all knew there might have been a "You shouldn't have come" moment in TOWL but for me what makes this so egregious is him comparing her situation to his and basically saying she made a bad choice. Appalled tbh. 😑

(Even tho stepping outside of the show, I really respect Danai for trusting that she could have Rick say something so foul and still believably get Richonne to a rewarding point of reconciliation by the end of the episode. 👏🏽)

gif cred: @figmentof

When Michonne hears this you can see how incredibly hurtful it is in her eyes so she does the only thing to do in this moment and she pushes him away. And I felt that shove with every fiber and it was necessary because whoever this was in front of her wasn’t Rick. Like this was a pain-inflicting imposter and he needed to get away from her.

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

As Rick does a figurative push away, Michonne does a literal push away.

And then the look Rick gives when she pushes him…y’all for me this is the scariest he’s ever been. 🫣

Like more than Machete Rick, and Feral Rick, and all those other lethal Ricks…this moment where there’s seemingly nothing behind his eyes is just straight terrifying.

I know I joke about The Bold As Hell Man as a new character thing but in this moment I genuinely was like 'Michonne, I do not know who is in this gym with you right now.' Like truly who the hell is this man in here cuz I don’t know him. 🫢

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

Regarding the approach to Rick’s coldness in ep 4 - something I’ve lauded Michonne for in the past is how she is very good at both empathy and accountability and that’s how I personally approach this conversation about Rick’s fear-based behavior as well.

I empathize with the fact that Rick is operating from a place of pain, trauma, and deep love for Michonne while also knowing that the way he is hurting his wife is so not okay. Being in pain doesn’t give a free pass to deliberately cause pain to someone else. And he is intentionally hurting her.

I can both understand that he has severe PTSD and is really trying to hurt himself even more than her because he ultimately wants to protect her, while also knowing that ‘Dead’ Rick'...

I’ve always felt that in a soulmate partnership like this, you have every right to feel what you feel but also every responsibility to not emotionally disappear on or damage your partner in the process of navigating those feelings.

But people are flawed and don’t handle everything perfectly, especially in the midst of trauma which is why I can empathize with the situation. Both on Rick’s end and Michonne’s too as she has every right to feel what she feels.

Rick is so convinced that he is not worth coming after. That she should have given up on him just like he essentially gave up on himself. It’s hard for him to grasp how valued he is. Self-depreciation is what he feels most strongly but it manifests itself as almost condemning her and telling her she essentially made the wrong choice as a mother to leave and look for him. It’s so below the belt to say that.

Rick knows with the love they have this was really the only choice for her to come. I think that might be part of why she tells him he doesn't know anything anymore. Like he forgot how their love and partnership work. They don’t leave people behind especially not each other.

And Michonne was in such a tough conflicting situation when she learned Rick survived the bridge. On one side she has her kids to raise and they need her. And on the other side, her kids’ father and the love of her life has a 99.9% chance that wherever he is he’s in agony and imprisonment - because if he was at all okay and free he would have found his way home by now. So as Michonne, how do you live with that? Especially when your souls are as interconnected as Richonne’s.

She can feel him out there desperately needing her. She can feel her kids needing their dad. She had to go after him. And honestly, Rick knows if he were in her shoes he would have absolutely made the choice to go after her too.

In fact, I low-key feel like if Rick was on that boat like Michonne in TWD 10.13 and the roles were reversed where Michonne disappeared and Rick found signs that she was alive out there, Rick would have got on the walkie with Judith and his little girl wouldn’t need to do any convincing to get Rick to go after Michonne. Rick would just be straight-up telling his daughter, 'Hey Judith, I found out mom might be alive and I’m already en route to Bridgers Terminal to bring her home to us so...

The choice to be away from her kids was not at all an easy one for Michonne to make and was rooted in deep love and loyalty to Rick and to her kids. So for Rick to frame it as anything else was just plain wrong.

But again, hearing Michonne say she only feels safe with him a few seconds earlier it’s like Rick is trying to deliberately destroy being her safe space so that she can officially feel better about leaving him and going home.

We’ve always praised Rick for being willing to do anything and take out anyone to protect his family but what’s so interesting about TOWL is that we see Rick is willing to even take out himself and break her heart and his own to protect her. 🥺

gif cred: @nat111love

In this gym, Rick is basically attempting to unalive himself again. 😥 I think that's even what his contorted expression was about when Michonne pushed him. Michonne's entrance into his life has made him come alive but he’s convinced he must be ‘dead’ for her to live. So he's doing whatever he can to try and stay dead - such as saying something this upsetting to the love of his life.

It’s a real conundrum because even back when he was Alive Rick, Michonne was the one who made him feel most alive so now that he thinks he has to be dead it’s especially complicated to be back with the brightest and most igniting light in his life - his wife. And I like how they explore the really dark effects of doing what Rick’s grandpa said and being the walking dead.

However, in his warped mindset, what Rick can’t quite see is that trying to take himself out rn and turn off his humanity is killing Michonne too. 🥺

They’re too interconnected for him to try and take himself out this way and it not take her out in a way too. But I do like how Andy plays this moment like the words taste horrible in Rick’s mouth as he goes against his very design and actively tries to hurt her.

Michonne fervently tells Rick he doesn’t know anything anymore - which it’s def seeming that way more and more. And then she smiles with tears filling her eyes and says, “So, this is who you are now? Big guy, huh. Solider of the CRM. You’re moving up right? That’s the plan.” She's letting Rick know he has an unnatural allegiance to losers, that's not like him.

I like how of course Michonne picked up on the fact that Rick was soon gonna be moving up the ranks. And it’s so sad cuz in ep 1, Rick literally seemed disgusted at the idea of moving up the ranks of the CRM but he’s lost a lot of that defiance now.

Also, it’s really interesting to me that this is when Michonne starts addressing the CRM stuff. Because I feel like before she was always trying to rightfully bring the conversation back to their family but Rick was always deflecting back to the CRM. So now she’s just like okay since that’s all you can talk about, let’s talk about it since this is the clique you claim despite saying you don’t.

gif cred: @figmentof

Michonne says, “Maybe I should be afraid of you in the red uniforms. I don’t know what you’re capable of.” And I was like - Rick, come on, this has got to be a wake-up call knowing your wife even has to remotely entertain the thought of needing to be afraid of you. 😥

But the way he’s looking at her it’s clear the wall he has up is pretty strong right now.

gif cred: @kris-lulu

Then while it pains my heart so much, I always love the way Michonne says, “You lied to me. You keep lying to me.” Like you just feel everything she’s feeling. Exceptionally acted. 👏🏽

gif cred: @kris-lulu

And then if I was fully feeling the emotion when she expresses her hurt over Rick continually lying to her when they’re the two people most meant to be honest with each other, I really really feel the emotion leap off the screen when Michonne says, “You think I’m not beating myself up for not being with my kids right now? That I’m not wondering how I’ll ever live with myself if God forbid….” Oof. 😣🥺💔

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Y’all, this was an outstanding performance, and when I tell you these lines reverberated in my brain for days. It was so moving and so heartbreaking. Like even watching it now for the hundredth time I’m choking up. 😭

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Michonne is a mother. An excellent and devoted mother. A mother who has been through so so much and more than anyone should have to endure. And she’s done it all for the love of her family. A large reason she’s even standing in front of Rick right now is because she loves her kids and they need their father.

Like don’t get me wrong she wanted to find Rick for her and for him, but we saw that convo in her final TWD ep between her and her daughter. Judith had to urge her to go because Michonne was hesitant to leave her babies.

And since setting off to find Rick, Michonne has tried so hard to keep the faith despite the exhaustion and the hardship and now here this man is making her feel like she made a bad choice when she is already wrestling with the difficult decision she had to make as a mother.

Like the fact that she says she’s been beating herself up. Cue my tears. 😭 And the fact that she doesn't know the current status of her son and daughter and she can’t even bring herself to voice the potential outcome of something bad having happened to them while she’s been gone. 😢

Especially knowing that in the past when Michonne had left home for a far briefer time than this, she returned to find she had lost a son not once but twice. It's too much. 😞💔

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Michonne is very aware of the power of words and she doesn’t use them lightly. She doesn’t even like to vocalize painful outcomes like when she thought she lost Rick in Say Yes and couldn't say aloud that she thought he died. Both then and here, she trails off and shakes her head not even wanting to put those tragic scenarios in words.

It’s like how in that deleted season 7 finale scene (that will always be canon to me since it’s the only time Rick and Michonne and Carl really engage after Richonne became an official couple) Michonne encourages Carl to not fantasize about failing because she’s built this great resolve to not even give negative outcomes power in thoughts or words.

I’m so glad Michonne got to let all that emotion out in this gym and be this raw and expressive as a woman and as a mother. This is Michonne at her most vulnerable, speaking about one of the most personal and sensitive things in the world - her children and her feelings and fears as a mom.

You’d think surely this time Rick would have a non-zombified reaction to seeing her pain and how deeply he hurt Michonne here. Like before when he’d been hurtful, Michonne hadn’t yet even cried like this so maybe this would finally be the wake-up call.

...But no. 😪

Instead, Rick just looks at her and grimly says, “That’s why you should go.” To which I always respond...

That's my instinctual response every time cuz like how can you not roundhouse kick your screen when hearing Rick say this? 😒

And y’all, let me tell you, Michonne is my big sister in my head lol, and I promise you I would have been in my full Solange energy up in this building with Rick. Like, don’t let me be in any of these elevators with them because I’m scrapping for my sister. 🥊

Rick responding like that had me wondering how much more audacity does this man have left because my goodness it seemed endless. This was genuinely painful to watch.

It would be hard enough to see Rick emotionally abandon Michonne on any subject, but when she is specifically expressing raw emotions about their kids as the mother of his children, and he still has a cold distant response - blood boiling, tbh. 😠

And also him saying she should go was extra frustrating because 🗣Michonne was going. She was standing right at the exit of this building when Rick came running for her. So telling her she should go was not only hurtful but unnecessary. 😒

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Michonne responds like it’s really sinking in that whoever this is in front of her is not someone she knows.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

So she gathers herself after being fully emotionally abandoned by Rick and then she says, “Okay. I don’t know who you are. Cause the man I knew would never talk to me like that ever.” Gospel. Rick 'Loverboy & Family Man of the Year Every Year' Grimes would never be so disrespectful.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

It’s interesting that Michonne doesn’t say 'I don’t know who you are anymore' like she'd said previously. Now it’s almost like she’s saying 'I don’t know who you are at all.'

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And once again, Rick masks the pain inside with a steely-eyed sorta lifeless stare at her and it’s just tragic.

gif cred: @clonecaptains

They hear walkers trying to get in and so Rick says, “We’re getting out of here.” And Michonne nods in a way that feels like she’s had to just surrender the hope of them ever figuring this out. Like as Rick grabs things to help with the escape, Michonne has such a sad sense of surrender over this whole hurtful situation.

She just poured her entire heart out to him about something she feels most vulnerable about - her kids - and for the first time was met with nothing back from Rick. Yet another sign that something is seriously broken within Rick because every other time she’s emotionally expressed herself to him he’s always handled her heart with care and met her where she’s at, like going to Washington and fighting the Saviors.

Michonne grabs one of those pole things and the way she slowly walks over to join Rick at the door it’s like now she has to put a wall up too because Rick has become adamant about not being her safe space anymore. You just can fully sense how devastating it is that even after finally reuniting with the love of her life, she still feels alone. 💔

gif cred: @taiturner

This whole thing was such a brilliantly acted scene from Danai and Andy. 👏🏽 Like truly these world-class actors were continually confirming that they are powerhouses of the craft with this whole miniseries. 🔥

This gym scene is simultaneously riveting and a hard-watch because of how much visceral pain is infused within it. 🥺

So after Richonne’s most gut-wrenching moment of conflict to date, I remember one of my many thoughts was now how the heck does this episode have an S rating because ain’t no way Michonne lets The Bold As Hell man near her like that after all this. 🙃

But Danai is a sagacious writer and so the following adrenaline-pumping events on a stairwell help force Richonne back together in a very sweet way. And the timing of the following events couldn't have been better, cuz lord knows we and Richonne needed something to turn the tide after this heartbreaking gym scene. ❤️‍🩹👌🏽

#richonne #towl #reveling in richonne #1.04 #RIR (33)#the ones who live #twd towl #michonne grimes #rick grimes #rick x michonne #twol #michonne #rick and michonne #twd: the ones who live #twd #richonnefandom

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heyhihellosworld · 1 year

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𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞

Charles Leclerc x reader

Word count: 2.7k

Summary: Sending your boyfriend alone with his friends to Ibiza shouldn't be a problem, right?

Warnings: Angst, mentions of cheating, slightly toxic relationship (or maybe a lot)

Notes: Angst is all I can write right now so here is some for you all. I just wanted to clear everything up with the pictures as well. I did not intent to include the girls in the story. The girls mentioned in the story is made up people but since it's so much easier to find pictures with them and Charles I chose to have the pictures. This is a bit messy but I tried

Summer break was made for relaxation, made to spend time with family and friends, made for rest. It was suposed to be a break from the hectic reality, a break from all the different surroundings and traveling. A break from formula one.

However summer break didn't feel like any of those things for you. No it was nothing that at all. All it was was hurt, stress and heartbreak. Anger and betrayal, no time to rest and no relaxation.

A fucking mess was what it was.

Charle's eyes were wide blown, like he were a kid caught doing something he shouldn't and it was pretty accurate, he had been caught

"Don't look at me like that" you spat at him, feeling anger brewing in your veins after you'd found him stood on your doorstep, begging you to talk, fucking talk

You didn't need to talk you needed to scream, punch or at least kick something. Your anger needed to get an outlap from your body, trapped in your clenched fists.

His adorably sad face made your frustrations hit the roof.

You stood far away as he stepped into your condo, only in your pj's as it was too fucking early in the morning.

Your whole body hurt as he did those small things he always did at your house, like taking off his shoes and neatly putting them to the right of your door and changing the date on the small date-decoration you had on the hallwaybench. Something so domestic didn't feel right anymore, he had betrayed the right.

You had been with him for a year by now, a year of exciting travels, experiences, love and adoration. He had been your closest person for a long time, having had you under his wing and you genuienly thought he would be the one to the end. The one you'd end up marry and have a family with, the one to the end.

But oh how things can turn

"You're really about to let him go with his friends to Ibiza just like that?"

You shrugged at Carmen who stood over you on the sofa, her hands on her hips looking like a scolding parent. Her face was showed suprise, eyebrows raised and mouth in tight line.

"I don't know what I can do about it, he wants to go, I can't" you simplified, met with her shaking of the head. Letting you know she didn't think this was a good idea, didn't approve of it.

"What? You don't trust him?" you asked, looking her in the eyes, a rush of concern errupting in your body. "Do you?" she countered seriously

You sat up, shrugging your shoulders again, an unsettling feeling in your body "I don't know, I mean I really should, we've been together for a year"

"That's not a yes sweetie"

You groaned, throwing you head back "Ugh I don't know, I still can't get Ana out of my head you know"

"I know and I can't either, that's why I'm sceptical" "Well fine but that was a a year ago, straight in the start in our relationship, I wanna think he wouldn't do anything like it again" you spoke

"Okay, okay, it's your relationship" Carmen nodded, finally sitting down next to you in the sofa. "I don't wanna worry you y/n, all is that I care about you and that I want you to be happy and he just.. he screwed up once so I can't trust him"

The sigh that left your mouth was heavy, you knew she was right but you didn't want to admit it. You had been together for long, trying to push the warning signals to the ground, maybe it was time to see them for real.

"Well what to do, let's hope he dosen't screw this up" you sighed, dusting the dirt of your pants before standing up, looking at your friend who stroppily looked back at you "Again" she snarled

Wagsgossip

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Wagsgossip Charles Leclerc seen with multiply different women, women who is clearly not his girlfriend Y/n.

Charles Leclerc reportedly left to Ibiza with some friends and co-drivers on the grid this monday. Leclercs girlfriend Y/n, who he has been dating for around a year was not with the group to Ibiza despite the fact that many of the other guys have their missus with them. Rumours about the pair has been spread over the course of the last few weeks regarding a possible break up but nothing has been official if that's the case.

Pictures have been spread all over internet of Leclerc now cozying up to multitude different girls, wonder how this will reach Y/n

What do you think of this?

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f1lovees OMG what is he DOING?!

justanInchident No Leclec, no

charcharles finally

f1111 He fumbled

chacha Please tell me this isn't true

Carmen was at the door before you even had the time to gather your head around the articles that traveled all over the internet. You'd felt it coming, felt it since he took the step onto that fucking plane, you knew this was it. You should have known better, he was who he was, like he was, he was an ass.

Charles were sweet and loving, soft and calm. He was fun to be around and when things were good between you he was someone you could picture forever with. The only thing was that when he fumbled, he fumbled hard.

The first weeks into your relationship one of those situations had accured, he had seen this girl, behind your back a bit into your relationship. You should have put the breaks in then, but you hadn't. Forgiven and forgotten you'd said.

Now you regretted that.

You should have ended it before it even started after that fuck-up but you didn't, too smitten by his adorable smile and light mood. You got to pay the price.

And you did because now you stood here like an idiot.

Carmen stormed into your apartment, steam practically brewing from her ears as she let out a shout of frustration. "I told you! I told you you couldn't trust the fucker!"

You huffed, not knowing what to say or do, it wasn't rage, not sadness, no all you felt were emptiness, maybe a tad of embarrassment.

"He is such an idiot! I can't believe him!"

"Carmen calm down, it's fine. I guess"

"It's not fucking fine! Come on Y/n! He cheated on you! He made a complete fool out of you!" she spoke, her eyes so wide you worried they were gonna pop out of her skull.

Like on cue George stormed into your small condo, seemingly out of breath and clutching his stomach. "Shit, I'm so sorry Y/n, I tried to make her give you some space but she ran... fast"

You couldn't help but let out a small giggle at your friends. It felt weird in your body, not knowing what was going on, knowing your relationship would end. You didn't know how to react.

George sat down next to you in the sofa, taking your computer who sat next to you with the articles open. "I can't actually believe it" George muttered to himself as he scrolled to the hundred different articles and pictures that was circling around.

"I'm sorry but why aren't you more upset?!" Carmen spoke harshly, George shooting her a disaproving look "I mean, I am upset but it just feels like... I knew I had it coming"

"What?" Geogre echeod Carmen "I don't know, it just feels like our whole relationship is built on false hope, on false trust. Like since our rocky beginning I knew deep down something like this would get the best of us. I knew he would fuck up again and since the idea of Ibiza came up I don't know... I just felt it coming"

"Are you not mad at all?" George asked shocked but you laughed coldly at his question

"Of course I'm fucking pissed. Lets face it, the man tricked me into false hopes and false trust. He made me feel loved and comfortable only to go and jump the closest girl the second I'm not there. He made me look like a fucking fool in front of the media, not once, not twice but for all this year. Fucking hell, I can't believe I've actually been this blind, stupid love eyes" you grumbled, facinated by your own realization

"Finally" carmen sighed out, looking at you with a soft smile.

"So, what are you gonna do about it? Has he even contacted you about it?" George asked, propping his elbows on his knees, leant forward in the sofa. "No, he hasn't. He's probably to gushed with some chick down in Ibiza to even see all the notifications and articles. But when he do, well then he's gonna hear it all" Just as on cue your phone started ringing, the tone making you flinch up from the sofa. You didn't touch it, just stared at the phone which showed you Charles contact.

The ringing stopped, replaced by a never ending buzz as he sent you message after message and Carmen sighed

"Do you want us to stay?"

You shook your head "No, it's fine, thank you though, for coming so soon" you smiled, hugging both of them before walking them out the door.

When the door locked it felt like someone poured a bucket with ice-cold water over your head. Fuck.

This was the reality, this was actually happening. A sick feeling settled to your stomach, how could he do this? Why would he do this? Everything had been great, hadn't it?

You swallowed thickly before walking back to the sofa, settling in it, your knees to your chest as you put on the tv, hoping the sounds would distractract your wandering mind.

Soon enough you couldn't ignore your phone anymore, the never ending buzzing and ringinging on boardeline to drive you crazy.

"Yes Charles?" You spat down the phone, drowned by a hundred words at once. He shouted down everything he could down the phone and you could only make out certain words from the blur.

"We are not talking about this on the phone" you cut him off firmly. "Fuck, okay but I'm not home in another few hours, please stay there, I can explain"

"Just stop talking until you're here" you muttered, clicking him off and throwing your phone to the other end of the sofa.

The night was chilly, cold and lonely. Despite your gut feeling, despite his fuck-ups you loved the guy and had done for a long while so to sit here facing the truth that he apparently didn't, or at least didn't care enough to treat you with respect was though, harsh and heartbreaking. To think of everything you'd done for him, all the travels and extra work to get school done whilst supporting him. All the sacrafices and this was how he treated you. It was unfair.

Charles were on your step the first thing the morning after, not reading the situation at all because you were tired. Hadn't slept a wink and not in the mood for an altercation before coffee and breakfast.

But Charles were Charles after all. Storming into your condo and sitting firmly in your sofa like he was protesting before you could.

- "Well then, say what you need to say and then get the fuck out" you spat, the early morning not helping your hurt feelings as you opted to sit in the armchair, far away from him, arms folded over your chest.

He looked nervous as hell but he should be, he fucked up after all and this time it was all on him.

"Well... I just.. I'm really sorry, I-I didn't mean to-to"

"To fucking what Charles? You didn't mean to fuck her or you didn't mean to hurt me?"

"Well, both"

"Ah, how classic, is that all you have to say? You didn't mean too?"

Charles took a deep breath, swallowing all the words, accepting his fate because you were right, he'd fucked up big time, so big this was unfixable regardless of how much he wanted it to be fixable.

"Come on then, defend yourself, say what you needed to say so badly.

Charles bit his bottom lip, something you found annoying at the moment, but used to find so hot. His eyes fleeted around the floor, not daring to meet yours.

"I don't know what to say... I fucked up, okay! I did and I don't know what to say about it, It was a mistake but it happened!" You saw red at his raised voice, his voice accusing like you were the one causing problems, like it was your fault because you didn't forgive him and it made you furious.

"Lower your fucking voice" you growled at him, pinning him with your eyes as you spoke slowly but firmly. "You did fuck up, so bad, to the point were there are no return. I said that, but still you wanted to talk to me and explain. I'm giving you the opportuinty to talk so explain, nicely or leave me the fuck alone"

Another sigh left his mouth as he lowered his gaze again, having the heart to atleast look sheepish. He knew you, he loved you, knew you would never forgive him for this, loved you for that, for having that respect for yourself.

"I just wanna know why, Charles. Why did you cheat? What am I lacking? What needed to change? Was it me? Us? Or are you just an selfish fucking bastard, have you been using me this whole time? Talking me into this. Fuck I should have listened to my gut with Ana"

Charles shook his head quickly, his eyes so big he could be misstaken for an alien. "No, no I haven't used you! I just... I don't know, okay! I can't explain it, you weren't there and my mind didn't work right and it happened. I love you, I really do and I haven't lied-" "Don't fucking say you love me!" you spat at him, standing up, over this conversation since he clearly had nothing of value to say.

"But I do! I really do!" he promsied "Fuck off Charles! If you loved me you wouldn't have treated me like this, you wouldn't have held me in this relationship, built my hopes nor let me make the sacrifices I have done for you, for us! You wouldn't have talked to the media about me like I was worth nothing and you for sure wouldn't have cheated on me, multiply times!" you close to shouted, arms out from your sides in defeat.

"I don't know what you thought to achieve coming here today Charles, talk me into another chance? I don't know, I don't care but this is over" Charles met your glossy eyes, his own glazing over as his head dropped. "I am sorry" he whispered, standing up from the couch and walking towards you. If you had the energy you would move away but you felt drained, drained from all energy and all emotions.

His lips met your temple, forehead resting against the side of your head for a moment before he whispered "I'm sorry" and leaving.

Leaving you and your relationship behind.

yourusename

Liked by maxverstappen1, carmenmundt and 78 893 others

yourusername Life lately 😋

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Y/nstaan You go girl

F1worlds Y/n in her revenge era 😮‍💨

waags Love her sm, she deserves better

carmenmundt Lovee it!

georgerussell63 Y/nnnn

pierregasly 😮‍💨😮‍💨

#f1 imagine #f1 imagines #f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #ferrari #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc fanfiction #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc angst #charles leclerc oneshot #f1 oneshot #scuderia ferrari

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cl0ckworkpuppet · 11 months

Text

on that note, i think there's a lot of merit in talking about the happy, weird, or even silly parts of being a system. because at least for me, being a system can be really, really scary-- especially in the beginning, when i was first discovering that's what was happening, i was terrified. the origin of my system is pretty brutal, something i wouldn't talk about in detail to someone i don't already trust deeply. but we're not defined by our trauma, our plurality just came from it. we're all still people, individuals with our happy moments and our sad moments. i don't think anyone should be defined by the worst things they've experienced, systems included.

and also, when people think of systems, of someone with "multiple personalities", the first things they think of (thanks in huge part to awful media representation) are the scary things, the tragic things, the unrealistically violent things. talking about the day-to-day discoveries and occurrences that are unique to plurality-- yes, even the "cringe" or the "quirky" that make us look like we're "faking it" to someone who doesn't know better-- is incredibly important for breaking the stigma around DID and OSDD. because believe it or not, fun system fact, systems don't go through heartbreaking, life-altering trauma every single day. i know, right?

so before you recoil at someone you think is being "too silly" to be real, ask yourself this: do you know this person/this system's entire life story from the one single post you're seeing? or even from reading their entire public blog? do you know who they are more intimately than they know themselves? is this really about them "faking it", or do you want a reason to dehumanize a person so far that their only visible trait is their trauma?

and even if you are right, and they are faking it, what do you stand to gain from running the risk of denying a system who *is* real of their identity?

#plural system #did osdd #plurality #plural positivity #system #did system #fakeclaiming cw #tw fakeclaiming #anti fakeclaiming #and if someone comes in here talking about endo systems im gonna kick you in the nuts #if you're vehemently anti-endo then I don't see you as a hero. I see you as a loser with too much free time so you bully random internet +#users and get yourself way too involved with other people's lives #so that's why i'm ->#endo safe

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allamericansbitch · 5 months

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my review of ttpd is under the cut

i liken this album to digging through the cushions of a couch. sometimes you find money, sometimes mindless scraps, and sometimes it's weird shit you have no idea why it's there.

first things first i'll just reiterate what i've seen a lot of people saying: she needs to move on from jack and work with new producers. the production is so recycled, we've heard it before, it's no longer serving her art (and i would argue it's limiting it) and it's tired. the first half is midnights and 1989 vault tracks and i would like a new album to sound like a new album.

but you know who came in and saved the day, my man my man my man aaron with those real instruments and decent mixing/production skills that actually work with taylor's voice!

like i said before, i like a good chunk of this album, so what i'm about to say might come off strong but trust me. i feel like this whole album is very.... unnecessary. it's very repetitive, she's reusing so many metaphors, sayings, etc just song to song and then also repetitive production like i already touched on. her current mindset of creating art as frequently as possible, quantity over quality, is just becoming more and more hard to ignore. of course she can still write and work through her feelings but you don't need to release it. you can work through it and move on. the best songs on here have authority, know what they wanna say and tell a good story. the worst are just sitting there roaming around aimlessly and not saying anything new or anything at all really. there is a really interesting, good album in here... somewhere. move the cushions around a bit more.

here's some random/general bullet points:

the best songs for me are the ones with a clear message and simple production. she's not trying to sound smart with the lyrics and just making the song clunky and try-hard. so long london and loml?? clara bow? yeah yeah

speaking of the lyrics....... my god are they rough. she saw people saying midnights had some corny lines and said charlie puth hold my beer. this album genuinely has some of her worst, which is sad because we know what she's capable of.

none of the music matches the aesthetic but sadly that's become par for the course, but now the title of the album doesn't even fit for me. i feel like, if she wanted to name it after a song title, 'the alchemy' or 'i can do it with a broken heart' are right there. this isnt giving tortured poet.

all of this to say she needs to get new collaborators, stop surrounding herself with yes men, and learn to trim the fat and we'll be in a lot better shape.

#tp

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burst-of-iridescent · 9 months

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I'm writing this as a big Katara stan. I just found out that a new film about an adult Gaang is planned to be released, and Katara, like Aang, will be given a leading role there. I am so excited and glad that finally Katara will be given due respect as a character!

But for some reason, after searching on Tumblr, I saw joy about a new film in the entire Atla fandom except for our zutara community. on the contrary, there is a lot of discontent and bitterness. But why is that? Is it because zutara won't be in the movie? Well, yes, zutara is a fanon ship, it will never be anywhere but our fanfics and fanart. But after all, Zutara is not in the original ATLA show, and we still love it! This is no reason not to rejoice at the opportunity to see our favorite characters on the screen again, to see Katara again (God, I'm screaming with delight😍😍😍😍). Yes, there is a chance that the writing will be bad, but there is always such a chance before the release of any film. I'm just so happy to see Katara again, and the whole gaang too, and her new design for this movie seems so great to mе!

i mean this genuinely, anon: i love that you love katara so much, and i am really happy for you that you're looking forward to the new movie. i truly hope you enjoy it.

i don't want to speak for the rest of zutara fandom, but i can't share your feelings because - to put it point-blank - i don't trust the creators with katara's character. ever since they lost their writing team, nothing they've created post-atla has proven to me that they understand katara's character, or how to create a good arc for her. it's telling that the only post-canon comic featuring a decent story for katara (katara and the pirate's silver) came out in 2020, twelve years after the original show ended (and which was also, notably, the first comic that bryan and mike were not involved with).

i'm sure some people are salty that they won't see canon zutara, but personally i'm relieved that i won't have to see bry.ke ruin romantic zutara like they did with their friendship post-atla. i'm sure they'll do their damnedest to fuck up what remains of zuko and katara's platonic relationship in the new movie, which is why canon ended for me with the final agni kai. no magic pointy rock or canon ships in this household, thank you.

i wish i could share your excitement for the movie anon, but i just don't have faith in bryan and mike to do justice to the characters (especially zuko and katara) after everything they've said and created over the last decade. like really, calling zuko a bad boy in the year of our lord 2023? please watch your own show.

besides, nothing they can do for katara in this movie will retcon what they did to her in LOK. i already know she ends up as a sad, lonely housewife without any real power, impact or legacy; that can't be changed, no matter how they try to "fix" it. it looks like the movie has been delayed so my hope is that it just gets cancelled in production. atla has been milked to filth anyway; leave the og characters alone and do something new with the universe, or just let it rest in peace and find another story to tell.

#anti bryke #anti kataang #anti atla movie #zutara

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peachesofteal · 3 months

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Peaches this is going to be a long one (I apologize in advance) because I think you have, without hyperbole, changed my life. Of course, there are plenty of fics that I love and enjoy and that make me feel things but this?

First off, I love this ending. I’m so surprised at the amount of people who are considering this a sad/bad ending, or wishing that it turned out differently, because to me this is the only way it could have gone. You’re a gifted writer, Peach, and you’ve made these characters real. And while we all love to fuck off into delulu/dissociative/indulgent fanfiction, you’ve crafted such a real experience here and in reality, GhoapxDarling could have never worked. Not happily. Not healthily. This was the best possible outcome for everyone involved.

It reminds me a bit of Orpheus and Eurydice: A tragedy, but to me it isn’t sad. Orpheus turns around because he loves Eurydice, and any alternative would not be a retelling of Orpheus and Eurydice. A version of this story in which GhoapxDarling make it to the end is the story where Ghoap isn’t Ghoap (DD version) and Darling isn’t Darling. They loved each other to ruin, and they were meant to.

Secondly, I’ve been following this story since the beginning, finding DD on ao3 and then following along on tumblr where you were able to build this story well past the 15 (22?) chapters, each AU further fleshing out this version of Ghoap and letting us see ourselves in Darling. You took me on such an emotional roller coaster ride with Darling and there were so many times during this where I’d think, “I’m Darling” and it was so bittersweet. Relief, knowing that you and other readers knew what this felt like, the way you were able to put to page these feelings I’ve never been able to process on my own. Depair, realizing I’ve always been like this, that I’ve always hurt this way. Fear, that I would always feel this way.

I’ve recently come out of one of the worst depressive episodes I’ve had in my lifetime. Even now I’m still barely getting my footing, like I’m standing on a bus with only the grab handle too high above me for balance as life continues to stop and lurch forward again.

But Peaches. This last chapter. I read it in my car right after work, and drove my evening commute in silence to process. To think. To feel. And I felt…hope. In between the shock and awe and sadness of this chapter, I smiled the whole way home.

Before, there was a mantra, “I am Darling”

Now, there’s a choice. A revelation.

I can be Darling.

(yes, I recognize that she stepped away from the moniker, stepped forward without “Darling”, so perhaps this is less impactful but-)

I can be her. I can want better for myself. With or without the strength to do it, I can try.

Thank you, Peaches. You deserve the world.

This gave me SO many feelings and I’m very honored that you’ve shared it with me. It never fails to touch me when someone shares these sentiments with me, and to know I’ve been a part of your life, that Darling has been a part of your life through this fic, that you would say it’s changed you, or given you hope… it means so much.

“They loved each other to ruin, and they were meant to.” This was so poignant, and I feel like they are so seen by these words.

I know how it feels to be at the bottom of a well, to be sunken so deep in a depressive episode that you think you’ll never claw your way out, and I’m proud of you for reaching for that handle and hanging on.

You can be her. It’s hard to take that step, to have the strength, but all you really need is the belief, the trust, in yourself.

#crying in the club #peaches asks #dead disco #this made me really emotional

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abiiors · 1 month

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𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚠𝚘 — 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚡

✧ — 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

✮ a/n: this one was quite hard to write because it took everything in me not to describe max getting murdered instead 🥲

✮ cw: crying, general sadness, verbal fights, slut shaming

✮ wc: 2.5k

jules feels like a zombie.

for two days all she does is sleep and work. she barely eats, only showers once. she cries quite a bit though. it feels like everything sets her off…

every time she closes her eyes, jules remembers the way matty had looked at her before she ran away. she thinks of matty hitting max and matty cradling her face to make sure she's okay. she thinks of their last kiss and all the ones before.

fuck.

for two days she barely exists as a real person, barely checks her phone or answers to people’s texts and phone calls. she should have known better than to get herself tangled up in feelings again. she should have known better than to trust herself with ‘no strings attached’. because there are always strings.

and now she can’t break them without hurting herself more.

on the third day she wakes up to carly shaking her awake.

it’s startling at first, she thinks someone’s broken into the flat. then she thinks it’s matty… ultimately when jules opens her eyes to carly’s concerned face, she can’t help the tears that gather in her eyes.

“hi,” she whispers, swallowing through the lump in her throat. “sorry, did i forget we were going to do something?”

carly says nothing for a minute, just looks at her with scrutiny.

“move over,” she motions for jules to shift, and jules obeys.

carly gets in bed next to her, gets under the covers and pulls her into a hug. only then does she allow herself to cry again—big, loud sobs that send fat tears rolling down her cheeks.

“i’ve made a mess,” she wails. “i’ve made a mess and i made him sad.”

“nico?” carly asks, “what—”

“no,” jules interrupts her. she’s done with this fake charade, she’s done lying to her friend and lying to herself. “not nico. there was never a nico.” she sniffles like a child, wiping her nose on the duvet. “i mean, yes there was but—”

“jules, you’re making no sense…” carly looks at her with a blank face. her lips are pursed into a thin line and her eyes are a little wary, but jules can see the concern written there plain as day. she doesn’t blame carly thought, she knows she’s talking like someone who’s gone mad.

“it’s…matty,” she mumbles, “it’s always been matty.”

“adam’s matty?” carly’s eyebrows fly so high up in her hairline that jules almost giggles. more so when she registers what carly’s just said.

through tears she laughs. “adam’s matty. yes.”

“what about him?”

“well…” she wrings her hands, suddenly nervous and scared that carly would be mad at her for lying this entire time. “it’s a bit of a long story.”

“let’s hear it then,” carly nods her head, and jules starts at the beginning.

“and this has been going on for…”

“more than a month, yeah…” she’s already in tears again, ashamed to look carly in the eyes and find contempt or judgement.

“why didn’t you tell me?” carly mumbles. “why did you lie the whole time?”

“i—” jules chokes, crying more tears. “i was scared you’d think i was using him. i was scared you won’t like—”

“jules!” she interrupts, incredulous, “what am i, your mum?! none of my business who you fuck, i just… i wish you would have told me…”

“i know,” jules plays with a loose thread on the duvet. “i’m so sorry, i lied to you, i am.”

she looks up, finally looking carly in the eyes. there’s a little bit of annoyance in her face, some anger too as is to be accepted. but more than that carly looks at her with concern. still, after jules is done confessing her lie, her friend looks at her with concern.

under the duvet they’re sitting side by side, their arms touching. jules leans over and rests her head on carly’s lap like a child. a second passes, and then she feels fingers threading through her hair.

“and now…”

“i want…” she looks down in shame, “…more.”

“and why is that a problem?”

because i don’t think he wants me? because i don’t know if it’s a good idea? because there’s a chance he might have feelings for someone else? because because because.

she smiles at carly sadly. “it doesn’t matter. i think whatever we had is over now.”

“jules,” carly holds her face between her warm hands, making jules look at her. “i’ll say to you what i said to you ages ago, back when you first wanted go on casual dates. you don’t have to any of it if you don’t want to. but if you’re going to, i want you to be happy with it.” she pauses, taking a deep breath. “it looks like you’re not happy… ending it.”

and that really is the truth, isn’t it. she’d rather have some half-baked version of him than have none of him at all. but her heart is fragile. she can’t invest years in matty like she did in max. she can’t have that end the exact same way—in heartbreak and tears.

“don’t assume what he wants,” carly nudges her gently. “ask him what he wants.”

“mmm,” jules wipes at her cheeks again. she’s sure her entire face is red now—red and splotchy.

“now go on,” carly nudges her, “let’s go for a walk or something. i’ve got the whole day free and i’m bored!”

jules laughs. it’s a watery chuckle and more tears fall down her cheeks, but she feels better than she has in days. weeks, rather. she feels lighter and freer.

“should we get ice cream?” she asks, and carly nods with all the enthusiasm in the world.

there’s another thing she has to do before she can fully bring herself to talk to matty. not that he has reached out to her… she supposes it’s fair this way. she’s the one who fucked up, she should be the one to apologise.

and so a week and a half later she sets out. not to matty’s place, not just yet. she goes to the house she hasn’t seen in close to eight months.

jules turns onto the familiar street and knocks on max’s door.

it used to be her door once, she remembers. she wonders if the house still looks the same—if the sofa and the loveseat are where she left them. she wonders what’s replaced the trinkets on the shelves that she took with her. she wonders if the bedroom is as clean as she used to keep it and if the fridge is as organised. she wonders and wonders and realises… she does not care.

jules no longer cares if the house inside looks like a mausoleum or if the bedroom looks like a garbage dump.

she no longer cares if max lives comfortably or not.

jules waits, ringing the doorbell again and shielding herself from the sun that’s high up in the sky. after ringing it for the third time, she hears footsteps—heavy dragging footsteps and then the door is yanked open. and just like that there’s max, hungover and looking like shit in last night’s clothes.

he smells of stale alcohol and cheap weed. jules wonders how she ever loved this man, how she ever looked at him and found him attractive.

“juliette…” he sounds surprised. she swallow the sour taste it creates in her mouth. it’s her name and yet when he says it, it sounds like the ugliest word in the world.

“move,” she says, no willing to touch him to shove him aside. “i want to talk.”

max snorts and steps aside, motioning her in.

jules takes in the house while he shuts the door behind her. there’s a thin layer of dust on the now empty shelves that look like they have not been used in quite some time. there are cobwebs in the corners of the ceiling and crumpled up empty beer cans by the sofa.

the ashtray looks like it hasn’t been emptied in over a week.

the house has certainly seen better days.

“sit,” he motions towards the sofa. one look and jules wrinkles her nose in disgust—who knows what kind of things he gets up to here now that he’s single.

“no, i don’t plan on staying long,” she declares, moving away to put a little more distance between them. no matter how far she moves though, she can still smell the stink coming from him.

“right,” max smirks, “what you here for then? healy didn’t satisfy you last night, did he?”

jules closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. she’s not here to fight, she’s not here to fight, she’s not here to fight!

“max, i need you to stop.”

“stop what?”

“i need you to stop sending flowers and coming back into my life. i need you to stop giving a shit about who i’m fucking, i need you to stop—”

“oh so you can be a whore and spread your legs to whoever you want and i can’t say shit about it?”

jules grinds down her molars, bristling at the interruption. this is fucking impossible, he is fucking impossible.

“max, listen to me,” jules begins, her voice steady despite the anger bubbling up inside her. “i didn’t come here to argue. i came here to make things clear.”

max scoffs, leaning against the wall with a dismissive glare. “so we’re setting boundaries now are we? so you can run around town fucking that boy and ruin my reput—”

“max!” jules raises her voice, trying not to go slap him in his own home. “i’m not interested in discussing my sex life with you. i want you to understand that whatever i do, whoever i do it with is none of your fucking business.”

he snorts again, shaking his head. “and you think it’s okay for your boy toy to hit me like that? he’s fucking lucky you were there.”

“lucky?” jules scoffs, incredulous. “max, you were out of line, and you know it. you can’t just show up and act like you still have some kind of claim over me. matty stood up for me because you were being a complete jerk.”

max’s smirk falters for a second, but he quickly recovers, crossing his arms over his chest. “you think he’s some kind of hero? he’s just using you, juliette. just like—”

“just like you did?” she interrupts, her voice sharp and cold. “don’t project your failures onto him. matty’s nothing like you, max. he will never be like you. ever.”

max opens his mouth to say something but she’s not done talking just yet. she’s not done talking and she’s not going to leave here until he promises never to bother her again.

“i’m being so fucking serious right now,” her voice sounds firm and jules wonders if matty would be proud of her if he were here. she’s certainly proud of herself. “i need you to stay the fuck away from me. no more flowers, no more messages, no more trying to intervene in my life. i do not care what your little cronies think of your reputation anymore.”

max whistles low, looking her up and down. “you’ve grown a backbone.”

“yeah,” she shrugs, smirking at him, “i’ve also learned what it’s like to fuck a real man.”

max’s face flushes with anger, but jules just looks at him with pity. she’s done letting him make her feel small, done letting him control the narrative of her life. she’s just… done.

“don’t ever come near me or mine again.” she warns him one last time.

max sneers, but there’s a flicker of something in his eyes—defeat, maybe, or regret. jules doesn’t care to figure it out. she’s said what she needed to say.

turning on her heel, she heads for the door, not giving max a chance to respond. she’s done with his toxicity, done with being the good little girlfriend who gives away all of herself and forgets to be a person of her own.

jules steps outside, the sunlight warm on her face, and takes a deep breath, feeling lighter than she has in months.

back at her flat, jules takes a long, hot shower, scrubbing away the remnants of whatever might have clung to her in that house. it feels like there’s a disgusting oily sheen to her skin, like max and his gaze still linger, making her feel small all over again.

she wraps herself in a towel and sits on the edge of her bed, her phone in hand. her heart pounds as she scrolls through her contacts and finds matty’s number. she’s scared, but carly’s words echo in her mind.

ask him what he wants.

with trembling fingers, she types out a message:

jules: hi, can we talk?

she stares at the screen, her thumb hovering over the send button, but jules doesn’t send it. instead she repeatedly presses backspace.

she remembers carly’s words, but she also remembers her own.

matty’s nothing like you, max. he will never be like you. ever.

and she was right then, wasn’t she? she thinks back to all the time she’s spent with matty. matty, who’s put her first every single time and been a friend to her even when he didn’t have to. she remembers matty cradling her face and asking her if she was okay. she remembers making him sad.

she’d made him sad.

jules feels a fist squeeze around her heart. if she’s going to make it right, she’s going to make it right in person. and she’s going to do it right now.

she dresses as quickly as she can, reciting her speech in her head and trying to calm her nerves. she’s going to go and wear her heart of her sleeve, she can’t let a panic attack get in the middle of that.

his house is only a short bus ride away but her heart is in her throat the entire time. jules doesn’t know what she will say to him once she actually sees him. she doesn’t know if he’d be willing to hear her out or if he’d just turn her away.

what if he just wants a clean end to… them?

turning onto matty’s street is so much more nerve wracking than max’s. for one, it takes her an eternity to ring the bell.

maybe she should just run away again and come back some other day. maybe she should have stuck to her original plan of messaging him first.

still, jules knows this is the right thing to do. matty deserves a real apology, and she’s not going to deprive him of one.

jules stands outside matty's house, her heart pounding as she rehearses her speech one last time in her head. she takes a deep breath and knocks on the door, hoping he will answer.

to her surprise, it’s cleo who opens the door.

“jules?” she sounds surprised. “hi! come in, what’s up?”

jules nods at cleo. “i’m here for matty,” she tries to keep her voice even. “i need to talk to him.”

#✮⋆˙ - when i knock at a hundred and two #matty healy x oc #matty healy x reader #matty healy x you #matty x oc #matty x reader #matty x you #102!matty

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