#but yeah. essay done. woo.

[wheelie-butch]

holy shit i think i just wrote an essay in 2 days (well. I did about 2 days reading the material and gathering sources a couple of weeks ago to prep). It's absolutely insane I'm capable of this now, that essay would have taken at least 5 days of writing this time last year. I'm not even yet working as fast as a normal healthy person but honestly it's making me a little angry realising how easy things are when you're less disabled like how the fuck did I get this far in uni, it was so ridiculously hard to do every piece of work and I'm still somehow literally the best in my year. idk just like I've been through a lot of shit in the past 5 years trying to get a degree to the point i feel like nobody could have blamed me if I had given up but somehow i have gotten through it and now there's only 1 final essay to go and i have 2 whole weeks to write it WE HAVE GOT THIS.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

You always have good things to say in your essays, so I am curious what your overall thoughts are on the Sonic Movie 3 trailer?

Ah, well, thank you! I'm glad that you like what I have to say🥺❤️

So, I originally watched the trailer quickly before I had to go to work. I think at that time my general thoughts overall were basically:

Team Sonic!!🥺💖

Every new installment they surprise me with just how sad and wet Agent Stone's eyes can get in the presence of Robotnik

Pop pop?! Gerald?? He's alive??

Ough parallels between movie sonic and movie shadow

...What if Movie Shadow made a connection with Tails and Knuckles over their individual struggles in finding home despite their pasts?

Movie!Knuckles wants Movie!Shadow so bad it makes him look stupid. I love how excited he is to fight him. Like they just took Sonic's initial onesided fixation on fighting Shadow from SA2 and gave it to Knuckles and I'm not complaining

They should make Shadow and Tails implied friends like the Tailstubes did. For me 👉👈

Wooo fat movie Robotnik!

Ajsjsjjsq I love how he just ripped Stone's shirt off and kept it for himself

The juxtaposition between Sonic and Knuckles here is hilarious to me. Knuckles insulting Sonic when he sees Shadow, right in front of Sonic. Sonic trying to tell Knuckles they should be reasoning with Shadow and Knuckles is like "Nope can't hear you I need to fight him!"

I wonder just how much they're gonna tie in the Knuckles tv show. I kinda hope Wade and the flames of disaster make an appearance at least

ㅤ

I did, however, rewatch the trailer for this ask, so if you'd like to see some more in depth thoughts on the trailer, I've put them under the cut

ㅤ

"Sonic, you've finally found your family."

This line is interesting to me simply because Tom says it, but it only shows Knuckles and Tails onscreen.

Now, personally, I think this series is perfectly capable of presenting a version of "family" that doesn't 100% mean the nuclear family dynamics. In other words, especially since images of Maddie and Tom weren't put onscreen during Tom's line, I like to think that harkens back to the wish Tom and Maddie expressed for Sonic back in movie 2 to find his squad (his team of best friends and wingment to grow up with). In essence, I personally do not believe this line means "oh Knuckles and Tails are your siblings now", especially since it would contradict that sentiment in movie 2 and (while I don't think Knuckles finds them family in a nuclear family way either) would be weird paired up with Knuckles calling the Whipple family "home" in the Knuckles series.

So yes. Family because they're friends, wingmen, comrades who have each other's backs and work together, not because they're siblings unified under one particular household.

Woo! I see the flames of disaster!! Nice to see tidbits of things carrying over from the Knuckles series

I am very interested in the shot of Tom uncovering the picture Sonic drew of himself and Long Claw.

I suspected back after movie 2 that we wouldn't be done talking about Long Claw. Of course this is true by default if they want to touch on the Echidna/Owl war stuff any more, which they have in every installment thus far, but I mostly mean in terms of how Sonic's past.

Personally, especially with Knuckles turning out to be the Iblis trigger after the Knuckles series, and those lines from Long Claw about Sonic potentially being hunted for his power (even though we yet have no evidence the Echidnas were hunting Sonic for any purpose), I still think there's a possibility of the movie universe touching more on Sonic and Long Claw for bigger reveals into the past (quite possibly into Sonic's origins??)

But at baseline of course we will be getting parallels from Sonic's past to Shadow's. So I'd say that how much we touch on Long Claw and Sonic's past in this movie and the importance of it will remain to be seen.

"I know it's not easy, but you didn't change who you are in here." "Yeah. In my lungs." "Or your heart."

(The following is partially a joke) Tonhon Chonlatee reference making it's way into Sonic movie 3??

Okay, so it seems to be that someone is still going to free Shadow on Prison Island? The visuals kind of suggest he just broke out, but that line from Commander Walters can also still suggest that someone breached the security (Ala SA2 Eggman) to facilitate the freeing of Shadow. In this case, I'm highly curious as to who will be doing it, and whether they will be present when Shadow exits the pod. Personally, after Movie 2 I hoped it would be Agent Stone, but we'll get our answer when the movie comes out.

WOW that shot of Shadow punching through the glass of his stasis pod is freaking EPIC. Definitely a fav scene of him in this trailer for me

TEAM SONIC MENTIONED! (Team Sonic is my favorite team, so movies 2 and 3 are wins from me in seeing team dynamics with them)

THEM CRUMBS🥺💖

I am a shameless sontails shipper and lover of Tails so this shot is everything to me

Okay, so earlier in the trailer we saw Team Sonic separately in places all over the world. Here I think at least one of these is to show them looking for someone like Shadow with intent to stop him (or to stop another threat at baseline). Also in the trailer we see a short clip of Sonic searching in a room with a flashlight.

My first thought on this is that during the course of the movie, Team Sonic's secondary objective (either self imposed or given by GUN) is to find out more about Shadow and his past. So this scene could be related to that.

My second thought is that this scene could also be Sonic taking a look for clues on the arc, though I'm not sold on this interpretation.

Third, at baseline, this is clearly a scene of searching for someone or something. No matter who it is though, I suspect the reason or room is related to either Ivo or Gerald in some form. Plus the fact that Sonic is searching most likely means he entered the scene with intent to search rather than spontaneously deciding this.

Finally, though I don't have many thoughts here. A figure can be seen in the background in the right of this clip. Since they are not also searching with a flash light, this could be a scene where we see Sonic caught in the act of what he's doing.

Commander Walters talks about how similar Sonic and Shadow's stories are during the clip of Sonic searching, Shadow in the pod while Maria stands outside of it, both pressing their palms to the glass.

While not necessarily a confirmation, this is why I believe that scene of Sonic searching is related to Shadow's past or possibly Gerald.

Also, unrelated, I really love that clip of Shadow smiling in the pod at Maria while they press their palms together over the glass. I'm completely normal about it (sarcasm)

"But where you found family and friends"

This line from Commander Walters is overlayed over shots of Tails (during "family") and Knuckles (during "friends"), a line which (like the earlier family line) I'm sure the loudest Sonic fans are making 1k note posts about.

Anyhow, I have two interpretations of the intent of this clip in the trailer, especially since it's another scene where they neglected to show Tom and Maddie in the mini montage

1. Where the scenes are cut is meant to associate Knuckles more strongly with "friends" and Tails more strongly with "family". In this case, "family" will be used in a found family/found home manner that does not denote in nuclear family with/siblings to. In any case, while Knuckles and Tails are both his friends and undoubtedly part of his squad, it remains that Knuckles and Tails do not have the same relationship to Sonic. Despite all being friends, we see at the beginning of the Knuckles series that Tails is comfortable living with Sonic and his textual adoptive parents, and that he doesn't have the same problems as Knuckles fitting in as Sonic's roommate. Likewise, based upon Movie 2's attachment to Sonic in particular and love of being considered Sonic's friend (with those moments in movie 2), combined with what we see at the beginning of the Knuckles series, it's clear to me that Tails' home is with Sonic and Sonic in specific. Tails is Sonic's friend who considers him his home, but while Knuckles is also his friend, he goes on a journey in the Knuckles series which was meant for him to find his own home (which he finds in the Whipple family). In other words, I'm saying that one interpretation of this clip is to denote the difference in strength of bond to and relationship Sonic has to members of his squad. Tails is his family, his best friend, and Sonic is part of Tails' home. Knuckles is his friend, squad member, ally, but he does not find home in Sonic.

2. The downfall of interpretation 1 is that it contradicts what I said about Sonic considering them both his family, his best friends, his squad earlier with the other family line. So interpretation 2 asserts that the whole friends and family line is meant to be applied to team Sonic. Again, especially with the absence of Tom and Maddie, I believe this is not in a nuclear family way, but as in "they are my friends, my squad, my family". As in, Sonic feels connected to these two and feels that they are family to him in the sense that they are important to him and a big part of his life. The family one chooses to stay connected to.

For the record, I'm also biased towards this interpretation of the family lines (not just because I don't personally like the alternative), but because every main character thus far has avoided ever labeling his relationship to Tails or Knuckles as inherently sibling like. Sonic movie 2 even had Maddie and Tom at the very end saying Sonic had found his squad and best friends for growing up, and the beginning of the Knuckles series has Sonic call the two his roommates, while Maddie treats the two more like other kids that live in the house than necessarily *her* kids. Then there's also the Knuckles series ending, where Knuckles calls the Whipple family his home, but the series purposely chooses not to make it clear what his role would be in a nuclear family dynamic, only that he's a part of it. All of that juxtaposed with the fact that Tom and Maddie were explicitly confirmed as Sonic's parents in movie 2 (and combined with the fact that it's not taboo in Eng Sonic media to consider Sonic and Tails as bros or media in general to confirm characters of the same sex as basically adoptive siblings to each other) tells me that those involved in these movies purposely choose to consider these characters family to each other in a way that doesn't conform to nuclear family dynamics and friends to each other as well. In other words, they have had every available opportunity (especially if Sega wanted it or approved it) to confirm this sort of relationship outright (and might I mention that Sonic being given explicit adoptive parents is more big in terms of the past mandates than someone like Tails being a bro (which has been let into eng media on occasion in the past)), and have not done so. They have not given any indication they will do so. And I feel that at this point after showing us good examples of canonically platonic relationships that are important without necessarily being sibling/nuclear family dynamics, it would be a waste to just go "yeah they're siblings" and call it a day, ripping the complexity out of it.

But that's just me.

Right after the clip I just mentioned, we see Team Sonic race each other, with Tom and Maddie starting the race.

Now I've already seen postings about how this shot is confirmation about how Tails and Knuckles are so siblings to Sonic.

Since I have my own post here, I just want to say that at very baseline I think that reasoning is incorrect. This is because the Knuckles series, again, explicitly confirmed Knuckles' home to be with the Whipple family, in contrast to how the beginning hammers in how he doesn't fit in with the Wachowski family or feel quite at home with them. They literally cannot be canonically siblings to each other if they haven't referred to each other this way and if one of the characters involved in the scene doesn't even consider this family in question his home. At best to me the association of this clip and the words about friends and family beforehand implies that Sonic considers these 4 all parts of his family in different ways (again, not necessarily with all 4 fitting into nuclear family dynamics). I don't endeavor to say Sonic sees Knuckles and Tails as siblings to him (in a situation where the feelings aren't exactly the same both ways) because, again, Sonic outright avoids considering them this way, and considers them his friends and roommates explicitly in the first episode of the Knuckles series.

Anyways anyways. I digress. The point of this clip.

At this time I'm thinking either this is a friendly race they've asked Tom and Maddie to intervene for (possible), or this is the start of the journey earlier when we see the trio at different places all over the world. In other words, it's possible they started their separate journeys around the world with a race, intending to beat each other to doing something with a friendly contest.

"Shadow found only pain, and loss"

I know how people have been talking about this set of clips, but at this time I do not believe the fire (aftermath of possible explosion) we see is the original event on the Arc resulting in Maria's death. Yeah, sure, the movie universe isn't 1 to 1 with canon, but I really do not feel like that scene is depicting the arc. This instead reads as a scene to me where Gerald and Shadow are going through a painful moment of loss in the present and being cornered by GUN for capture. It seems more like a scene that occurs partway through the movie as an event that happens rather than a flashback.

Take that with a grain of salt though. That's just my interpretation, and there's not a lot of proof to find to back up any particular one.

We've also heard rumors of time travel being involved, so it's also possible there's a plot bit involving saving Maria and reversing the hurt that way and it tragically failing? Don't know.

Also love the shot of Shadow looking at the cracked glass👌

S sorry just them again looking at each other and Sonic turning to Tails for guidance 🥺🥺💖

This entire mini clip means quite possibly a bit too much to me for a mere trailer but I love their dynamic

I have talked about it before but damn. Knuckles "He is much more impressive than the hedgehog I fought previously"

We literally see a shot of Shadow revealing himself, and then Knuckles starts talking about how impressive he is.

I know there were a lot of jokes made in the last couple years that Sonic would see Shadow and instantly be enamored, but oh how the turntables! In the end, in this trailer at least, it's actually Knuckles who becomes instantly enamored. One look and he's calling him impressive. One look, and he's already ignoring any direction on Sonic's part to perhaps de-escalate the situation by talking to Shadow, because Knuckles wants to fight Shadow so badly it makes him look stupid.

The way the interaction is done reads to me that Knuckles wants to get a go at tussling with Shadow either more than the stakes of the plan at hand, or would want to despite reality. In other words, even if Shadow "switches sides" so to speak successfully here, Knuckles would still want to fight him for personal reasons.

Of course right after this we get the subject of a billion jokes about how Shadow hates Tails so much in specific that he goes out of his way to beat him up.

Where is that meme image of the guy looking out the window holding his cigarette, just tired? (Rhetorical question)

I did not think it would be need to said but here.

If you watch the scene, Shadow kicking Tails is not presented as more important or targeted than anything else. First of all, it is within a sequence where we see him take down the members of Team Sonic one by one in a single blow. Second of all, Tails' is actually the least focused on in the trailer. Knuckles punching Shadow only for Shadow to (presumably) break his wrist is shown as a big thing (especially as a call back to the first big clash between Sonic and Knuckles that was advertised a lot for movie 2). Shadow going for Tails is something he literally cuts behind Sonic to do, which quickly segues into him grabbing Sonic and using his air shoes to boost them high into the air so he can slam Sonic down into the ground. Tails being kicked here is presented like something he had to do to get to Sonic, not him going out of his way to beat up Tails. Seriously. How can that even be true when Knuckles and Sonic get flashier and longer beat downs?

Anyways, all that aside, this scene is very neat. It's very clearly to set up the disparity in power between Team Sonic and Shadow the same way it did between Sonic and Knuckles in movie 2, with the framing this time presenting Shadow as a powerhouse unlike anything anyone has ever faced. In other words, combatting Shadow will be more of an ordeal than combatting Knuckles was.

The scene where Tails says "this is a bad idea" and Sonic goes "when has that ever stopped me".

It would be completely fine and dandy if this does turn out to be about the crew looking for Robotnik and deciding to join with him. Personally, I think this is one of those cases where a line from a movie is cut in the trailer to show that it's about something when it really has to do with something else.

Besides the fact that we just don't know when or how everyone will learn Robotnik is alive (since it's pretty well considered by the main characters that he died at the end of movie 2), I think with Tails outright opposing this and Sonic looking angry, this scene is referring to something potentially more risky and dangerous than joining forces with Ivo Robotnik. Depending on how epic the scene is, this could predate a major moment

But I'm excited to see the context regardless of what it turns out to be!

Sorry I know I said it earlier but WHOO fat Robotnik. Hollywood fatphobia aside, I'm honestly glad that Jim Carrey has been winning his battle of moving his character closer visually to Robotnik's canon design.

It's pretty clear by the "we" have visitors that Stone has been with Robotnik taking care of him at some point since the ending of Movie 2. I remember a lot of us assumed the battle in movie 2 did kill Robotnik but that Movie 3 would involve Stone bringing him back somehow. Either way, though I know this was technically dependent on whether Jim Carrey would return to this movie, I do feel vindicated for saying "Robotnik isn't gone for good since we didn't see a body and GUN didn't find one at the end of movie 2".

Agent Stone and his sad wet eyes

So to go into a lot of detail would require a proper essay post, so I'm going to try to make this section as short as possible.

Now, as far as I've gathered since movie 2, Stone's sad wet eyes appear in 1 of 3 instances.

1. When he misses Robonik so so dearly (as seen in the beginning of Movie 2)

2. When he is jealous and fears being replaced by someone else Robotnik chooses to hang out with and go on his missions for the evil plan with (as seen during the scenes where Robotnik has Knuckles with him in the Mean Bean in movie 2)

3. When Robotnik continues to change from the exact kind of slick, collected, confident, and fashionable guy we see in movie 1 in ways which Agent Stone would percieve as him "getting worse" (As seen in movie 2 where Stone sees Robotnik again for the first time, remarking that he looks different, and in the annoyance he gets in movie 2 when Robotnik leaves him out of his plans and continues to include Knuckles rather than consult or use him (Stone))

Now, clearly it is not option 1, given that he is fully aware of Robotnik's location and has clearly been watching over him.

I also do not believe it is number 2, for two reasons.

1. The context clues imply Robotnik has likely only been around Stone all this time. There's no one already living in this space for Stone to be jealous of.

2. We see Stone and his bike blocking the path between Team Sonic and Robotnik, and it's Stone who brings Team Sonic inside to appeal to him. Since it's implied Stone chose to let them in and doesn't seem annoyed when he announces their presence, he does not have the sad wet eyes because he's jealous of their connection to Robotnik in any way.

So this leaves us with option 3: Robotnik is changing further in ways that are messing with Stone, and Stone sees it as Robotnik beginning to "fall from greatness" so to speak.

And I think this interpretation is actually pretty clear. We don't see evidence of a struggle on Stone, so it's unlikely he seriously fought Team Sonic. Rather, it seems to me that they told him they wanted to appeal to Robotnik to get him to help with protecting the world, and they convinced Stone to let them see Robotnik because Stone hopes their involvement (or such a mission) will get Robotnik out of whatever his current rut is (with the state of his hair and stache and the mess in the place he's staying in, it's pretty clear he's in a depressive rut). Stone is sad to see Robotnik this way and hopes Team Sonic can fix it.

We are not actually done with Stone's sad wet eyes though, as he still has them during the scene Robotnik retreats to the bathroom for an outfit change (yes, the scene where he rips off Stone's shirt). It's also worth noting here that Stone still sounds sad during this scene.

So, this is where I take the time to talk MORE about Agent Stone in relation to Ivo Robotnik (but again without going too in detail and doing too much outright essaying). This bit is connected to the previous part, but I wanted to give it its own section since this has to do with my prediction for the future.

My theory? Stone may be set up for an eventual Dr. Starline parallel.

Let me explain a bit.

So, if you don't know who Doctor Starline is, he origates in the IDW Sonic comic adaptation. He is a very intelligent (and fashionable) scientist who holds great admiration for Robotnik, and is obsessed with him. From the beginning he'd put Robotnik on a pedestal and had wanted not only to be like him, but to be vital to him. Starline wanted to be a great help Robotnik to take over the world, and essentially superimposed himself into the position of Robotnik's number 2 (a position comparable to Stone's in the Sonic Movies, Snively in SATAM and the Archie comics, and Grimer's in the Fleetway comics). Over the course of Starline's time together with Robotnik as his self imposed number two, the two start out fairly strong only to clash more and more often as Robotnik expects a lackey who only does what he says, and Starline expects a partner who will listen to his advice. Tensions grow, Starline becomes more disillusioned in the genius and superiority of his hero, and finally, Starline takes it upon himself to be insubordinate. Believing that Eggman's plans are short sighted and destined to fail, he takes it upon himself to "fix things" by going behind Robotnik's back and bringing in the Zeti as (assumed) pawns. It is after this act where Starline decides he needs to save his hero from himself that Eggman tosses him to the side and fires him.

Now, it's worth mentioning that Eggman so easily tosses him aside because there is one thing Starline does not have in common with the other examples of Eggman's number two in other media. This is that they have the advantage of time spent with Eggman, allowing him to become attached to them enough that even smaller acts of insubordination aren't enough for him to fire them completely.

But in any case, Robotnik didn't completely reject Starline after this. He was of the mind that he'd be willing to take Starline back if Starline begged at his feet and apologized. However, since Starline had too much pride, he did not do this. Rather, he begins to believe that Robotnik still is a grand genius, just that he's short sighted and can never take over the world with how he handles the threat of Sonic. So, Starline takes it upon himself to take over the world for Eggman (since he believes he himself is smart enough to do so without falling into Eggman's folly), and then dreams of doing such a good job that it's Eggman who begs to he at his side, since Starline is hung up on Eggman's rejection and wants him to choose him.

So, what does this have to do with Stone?

Well, I have no doubt that Stone was a smart man from the start given his position related to the US gov and that he's been able to perfectly Robotnik's assistant. But you can also take Eggman's word for it as well, courtesy of the prequill comic (which takes place between movies 1 and 2)

It is also by this very comic that we know that Stone was the only man Robotnik trusted to enact his plans in his absense, and perhaps the only man he had ever shared the secrets of his manifesto.

And it's how we know that Stone undoubtedly undergoes major changes by movie 2 compared to movie 1. Not only does he have it in his mind that he is Robotnik's number 2, a man personally responsible for doing what Robotnik cannot with the mission of personally rebuilding Robotnik's glory, but this entire experience contains the purpose of molding Stone to be more like Robotnik himself.

Stone by movie 2 is more cunning and calculating in the way Robotnik is. He was given a personal mission to rebuild his master's former glory, and he throws his entire self into it. It is not a stretch to assume that Stone is saddened upon meeting Robotnik again in movie 2 because it did not match his expectations.

All in all, especially since he'd given Robotnik the tools for a makeover, I think from Stone's end he was expecting for Robotnik to return to him a man who has gone through an ordeal but maintains his style and greatness (essentially, looking like he did before), as a man of who would congratulate Stone on his work in his absense (praise him even), and take him at his side as they work together to enact Robotnik's world takeover plan.

But Stone's expectations are dashed as Robotnik arrives in a new fit, with a new stache, seemingly more mentally unstable than before (keep in mind, Robotnik's thing in movie 1 was that he was more intelligent and thought differently than everyone else, not that he was unstable. He was the kind of "genius who is written off as unstable but sees what no one else does", but since his involvement with Sonic HAS been seemingly less cool and collected and more unstable), and with a space echidna at his side. In the span of one meeting, Stone had the means to feel replaced and to feel as if Robotnik was falling short of his glory/falling from greatness as he's changed.

And then over the course of movie 2, though there are people who do Movie Ivo character study who'd agree that Robotnik does genuinely care about Stone, just is bad at showing it or doesn’t show it conventionally, it's pretty clear that Stone himself doesn't really see it. He doesn't feel valued. He doesn't even get to be used by Robotnik as he was in movie 1, actively on the road trip with him. Nope. Robotnik leaves him at the Mean Bean most of the movie.

And this is why Stone doesn't seem happy most of the movie. This is why it excites him so that Robotnik accepts him at the end of the movie and makes room for him as a vital helper.

What I assert, in essence, is that after the prequill comic, Stone can no longer just be okay in his role as he was before with little praise/acknowledgement, nor can he even he even take solace in the fact that Robotnik will always keep him around because he needs him.

So here's where the Starline parallel comes in. Now that Stone sees himself as a much more important figure in Robotnik's life, with a mission given to him by a version of Ivo who Stone could possibly see as "at his most sane" to make sure he succeeds and attains his former glory, I think he sees his number two role as less of a guaranteed thing and something he must fight to keep (this means stuff like putting himself out there at the end of movie 2 and begging to go with Robotnik, or taking it upon himself to find Robotnik after the battle and support him). And so, I suspect (especially with those shots we got in the trailer, Stone being sad at presenting Robotnik's current state, his potentially angrier faces as he's finally allowed to groom Robotnik and shave his hair, his continued sadness even as Robotnik has moved out of his rut) that we're going to see Robotnik to continue to take Stone's presence as his "sycophant" for granted, while Stone continues to become disillusioned with his idol and master.

But in the end, this is just my theory. I do not yet know how much of this will actually come to pass, but I hope it's food for thought for you all.

I predict Stone will continue to become so disillusioned with Robotnik due to seeing him as a man falling from greatness and due to lack of acknowledgement and appreciation, that Stone will eventually turn on Robotnik. But not to stop him or to become better than him. No. I predict, Starline style, Stone will take it upon himself to restore Eggman to his former glory, to eventually go behind Eggman's back and enact his own plans, to attempt to take over the world for Robotnik, and to accomplish it all in such an amazing display that Robotnik has to express that he wants him around and to acknowledge him as a partner and to praise him.

At least, that could be the plan/setup. It would remain to be seen how these two characters resolve this event (essentially, in which ways this diverges from the parallel and the two inevitably come back together again). After all, no matter what ends up happening between Stone and Robotnik, I think something will need to give and change eventually, and the two will need to make their feelings/wishes...more clear to each other

By the way, I too love the Stobotnik scenes in this trailer. We are eating good👌👌👌 However, it really is hard not to see that scene where Ivo rips Stone's shirt off as another moment where Stone doesn't feel appreciated. Ivo over here ripping off a man's shirt (gay. Sorry. The people are right when they asked if it was gay for him to just rip it off and then choose to wear it during the movie), and it's entirely possible the man in question thinks that this is proof that Robotnik doesn't think much of him in this state (even if Stone is clearly not going to keep him from doing what he wants here)

"When we're done, there won't be anything left"

Cool, so Shadow is actively planning on destroying the world here. Potentially to satisfy revenge.

Interesting. So the scene with the Chao mascots also looks like an ambush is happening, with Team Sonic specifically being targeted with missiles

"What did you do?" "What I had to."

Movie Sonic has his classic extremely angry face here too, so Shadow must have done something major. It's either world ending, or it put the lives of his family and friends in HUGE jeopardy (or both).

AND FINALLY. Gerald reveal

I cannot express the surprise I felt here. This scene shows us that Gerald is here in the present, not just a man who died 50 years ago by execution. So, possible time travel shenanigans or not, the fact that he's involved in the present conflict (perhaps with Shadow personally) is highly interesting and I'm excited to see where this goes.

Also, based on the layout of the room here, it's potentially possible that either this is the same room Sonic is searching earlier in the trailer, or that Gerald had multiple lab like living spaces he was jumping between over the years to stay under the radar, and that Team Sonic and Team Robotnik ended up finding Gerald while looking into clues on Shadow

ㅤ

And...done. Whew. Wow. I had a lot of thoughts so uh. I hope my ask satisfied your curiosity, flashonetwo. I also hope for anyone that read this far that you enjoyed it at least a little bit, and that your mind is running with thoughts of your own.

I'm beyond excited for this movie, and I genuinely can't wait to see what happens next. So here's to seeing how much we get right in the future, and here's to enjoying what we get!😊❤️

[ep2nd]

@anxious-anon-time sorry for being late, was really busy this weekend

I'm very sorry this is 2 weeks late, had to board a plane, then was relaxing on Vacay, then had to catch up in school the next week

"What do you think of the Ink Scroll arc"

I absolutely stinking loved it.

Now here's the essay you ask for (or didn't, I just want to write an essay)

1. Love the foreshadowing/self awareness. Ex. When MK says "Maybe this the part of our journey where things get DARKEE" the poor boy- also love how the word Journey was used, foreshadowing how it was about the Journey to the West

2. Everyone had good arcs, except Pigsy? Like, MK beautiful, Meis opposite nature to Ao Lie, lovely, Sandy fighting the monster allegations, been his trauma since the beginning (when he references he's changed since meeting Pigsy last), showcasing the difference between Tang and Tripitaka qns for Tang to get more development?! Woo!!! But Pigsy?? Having the same plot/character development of Sandy, where being a monster doesn't matter Yada Yada Yada, it just didn't make sense.

There was no part beforehand where Pigsy EVER questioned that part of him, unlike Sandy who's been afraid of hurting someone, yes I enjoyed the episode, the Cook references from previous (and also Freenoodle crumbs) were amazing. What I wish they had done was something like Pigsy questioning his family, or chosen family in this case. THEY EVEN WENTOF THEIR WAY TO MAKE THE "MONKEY KINGS NOT MY DAD PIGSY IS" MOMENT. Like- I just Pigys arc was more family/friend centered, definitely would compliment whatever jumbo shrimp mess MK had going on

3. Talking bout MK- the trauma and angst were GORGEOUS we love it. My boy been through so much. And we learned more of his past?! The theorists were going CRAZY. Love the Sunburst and Soysauce moment, MMMMMMMM, this boy needs to stop trusting people so quickly oh my gosh AZURE WHEN I CATCH YOU-

4. Really good villain. Love how they went with a villain who thought HE was the hero, and main character I guess lol. Was he a turned villain? Yes but he was a good one! Kinda wish the foreshadowing was better, instead of that one episode where Tang just watched and realized it. He's a complex character, who just wanted to help people, and yeah his ambition wasn't even bad, the Jade Emperor isn't great even, but he took it too far

5. Great job yall, you guys made a character everyone hates, Peng, Revalis brother from another mother

6. Yellow Tusk was ehhh, wish we saw more of his character, seemed interesting, loved his loyalty

7. Now LMK is very special from other shows I've watched he'd because well, I'm willing to rewatch many episodes, even if I know what will happen, I tend to not rematch ANYTHING because of this problem, but LMK is just different. For some reason the Scroll arc is the exception, I like it, but for some reason I don't see myself rewarching it, don't know why

8. Ink MK was a beloved, his voice?! Design?!? DIALOG AND SPEECH PATTERN!?!? BRILLIANT. really love all Ink people moments, mostly just Ink MK, and Wukong.

9. Glad Wukong got development, man is facing the consequences of his actions and its really getting him, I'm glad he's getting really good development.

10. Master Subodhi. Do I need to say more?! Loved him dearly. Wish he and Wukong remet. :( liked his character very much, I like how he wasn't even real in the Scroll and still had omniscient abilities. My only question was what else did he know?! On that note, is anyone going to talk about how the girl is just, like immortal?! The Acolyte as yall call her. Now I don't think Subodhi just GIVES out immortality, I feel like he saves it for special people, like Wukong, no I have theories and headcannons for her but that's another day.

Also I'm a suckered for any JTTW character appearance. LMK GIVE ME ERLANG SHEN, GOLD STAR OF VENUS, GUANYIN, ANY OF NEZHAS BROTHERS, AND MY LUFE IS YOURSSSSS

11. The only thing I can think of left is how in the world did the Scroll worked?!? Like, it didn't teleport them to the past, I've been making a simulator almost? But then why does the characters inside feel so real, and how did Wukong trap Peng and Yellow Tusk, and where and hwt have they been doing?! AND HOW DOES THE OMNISCIENT POWER OF SUBHODI WORK. MAN CANT HAVE THAT MUCH PLOT REASONS POWER. AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE HOW DID THEY GET THE OLD PILGRIMS WEAPONS LAST TIME I CHECKED TRIPITAKAAS STAFF WSS IN WUKONGS CAVE

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Reflecting on my work in 2022

As this official Hell Of A Year™ draws to a close, I guess it is appropriate to both reflect on what I've been doing this year, as well as do a bit of plugging for work which I am proud of.

So here's a list of some of the videos I made this year, along with some thoughts on their creation and how I feel about them, some self-criticism, some behind-the-scenes, and a little self-congratulation where it is appropriate.

I struggle somewhat with memory and a clear sense of time - to me, time is more of a continuous stream than a series of delineated moments. This is often frustrating - I get lost in it, and when I look back on a list of my work and activities, it is less an experience of "oh yeah, ha ha, that happened" and more of a "wait what do you mean that happened then? And before that other thing? But after that one? What the hell?"

Worst case scenario, it can be kinda distressing, honestly. It feels out of control, anxiety inducing, like I don't have a handle on my life.

... which is an absolutely fantastic tone to strike for a New Year's list of my favourite videos. 2023, woo!

The Boss Designs of Bloodborne Finale (February)

It took me nearly three months after the penultimate episode of the series to finally put this video out. My The Boss Designs Of series is some of the best work I've ever created, at least I think so. It's certainly some of the most creatively fulfilling work I do, and some of the most challenging too.

I try to walk a line between providing a fresh perspective on the games I've played for the series, but not getting contrarian or off-the-wall just for the sake of it. With Bloodborne, I do think I managed some really good critical contributions to the readings of the game, like my reading of the Blood-starved Beast as a self-sacrificing martyr for the beast community of Old Yharnam, which was apparently quite novel, or my crackpot Parasite Theory of Bloodborne's madness.

And I do think I've gotten better and better at editing gameplay footage too, I think I've managed to learn a good balance between joke-edits and continuity and story editing. I always kinda fret on the one hand that the gameplay footage and my live commentary is too boring to stand on its own, and on the other hand that editing in too many jokes and gags would just be obnoxious and tedious to sit through.

The thing Bloodborne nails more than any other horror game I've seen is the sensation of the nightmare. And not just in its visuals or its monster designs or the surface storytelling, but in the push and pull between extremely specific imagery and story beats and complete ambiguity the moment you scratch at the surface. Bloodborne is on the one hand a fairly obvious story about the abuses of organized religion and unethical science, but then underneath that there's also this deep obsession with the violence done to women's bodies specifically, and how that violence spills out and caustically eats into the humanity of everyone who is complicit in it.

And then underneath that there's an exploration of birth trauma, where the Great Ones are parental figures as incomprehensible to the player as parents are to a newborn child, pushing you here and pulling you there and inflicting incomprehensible violations of your bodily autonomy out of apparent sympathy.

And underneath all of that... it's also about how cool it would be to transform into a werewolf, actually. The themes of self-creation and transformation and claiming monsterhood as self-empowerment are incredibly queer and especially apt for trans readings.

It all flows together in this soup of imagery and meaning that I cannot crystalize into a unifying Theory of Bloodborne, no definitive reading, no comprehensive hot take. Which is frustrating when you're trying to create a video essay, but infinitely compelling when trying to think about it.

I don't know that I managed to capture all of that in the The Boss Designs of Bloodborne finale, but I do know that I tried to, and I'm proud of that.

Melina, the Maiden - Boss Designs of Elden Ring #1 (March)

Staying with The Boss Designs of, here's a video about which my feelings have become decidedly mixed. Not because of anything that is in the episode, mind you, but out of a certain disempowered bitterness I've developed about Elden Ring over the course of the year.

I cannot overstate how excited I was for Elden Ring, and how desperately I enjoyed finally getting to play it back in March. It's a brilliant game, an incredibly immersive world, and one which I badly want to return to.

... and then I didn't get to play the game for nine months. It was partly my own mistake - I tried recording an absolute ton of footage for episodes early, playing as much of the game as I could while it was still fresh, hoping to put out a lot of episodes of the series early while the game was fresh and Relevant In The Algorithm™, and also just out of sheer excitement. In so doing, though, I ended up shooting myself in the foot, because as I began to edit episodes together I also found myself feeling more and more distant from the experience of playing.

The pile of footage in front of me, begging to be converted into episodes, became a roadblock of work looming over me, a source of guilt and stress and frustration, that put extra stress on my mind every time I tried to make any other video and which stood between me and getting to play more of the game I have anticipated more than any other for years.

In 2023, I will get back to Elden Ring, I swear to god I will, but in the meantime I am quite happy with how the three episodes I've made of this series so far have turned out.

Also, the new intro song I commissioned from @trewatsonmusic absolutely slaps.

What's the deal with Zeri and Neon (June)

My ambition for the What's the Deal videos has always been to expand them beyond League of Legends (and I have done videos on characters from other things), but being a YouTuber is also my job, and League of Legends is the moneymaking subject on my channel, at least for now.

Not that I resent that. For all that League deserves the criticism it gets, I still insist that it has one of the greatest casts of characters in modern gaming, underserved and ignored though most of them are by Riot Games. There's so much to talk about once you get even a little bit under the surface, and I do feel like I've been doing a better and better job at doing that in the What's the Deal videos over 2022. Zeri, for example, is a fantastic addition to the class warfare dynamics of Piltover and Zaun, especially in her conflict with Renata Glasc and the themes that could be explored through that conflict. And it's not lost of me the extent to which she was a direct response to the xenophobic attacks on Asian-Americans that have surged out of American politics in recent years, either. There is value to proclaiming that someone like Zeri belongs in the worlds of big pop culture institutions like League of Legends, even if (as always) it is the workers at Riot Games making that proclamation, and Riot Games Inc. allowing it because it serves their commercial goals.

I brought in Nickyboi for an assist on this one as well, which is something I want to do more. I want to do more collaboration. First of all because it's nice to offload work to someone else, but also because this job is fundamentally kind of lonely. I'm just a guy in his office making videos 99% of the time, and collaborating with a fellow creator feels like being part of a creative community in a way that solo work and shitposting at each other on Twitter simply doesn't.

And I am proud of the little fanfiction snippets I've started writing in the The Future segments. One of the points of the What's the Deal videos is to communicate to an audience why I'm excited about a character, why I feel like they're worth giving a shit about, and I think those fanfiction segments have done a better job at getting that across than almost all of my character design and animation chatter. Plus, it's nice to flex a bit of creative muscle in that way now and then.

Speaking of which, I still need to write that happier ending for Kai'sa and Taliyah, don't I? I have A Plan™ for that, it's just about finding the time to make it real...

The 15 Most Beautiful Splash Arts in League of Legends (September)

This one is easily the biggest surprise of the year for me. In the latter half of 2022, I took quite a lot of sponsorships - first of all because they were offered (good lord there was a rush of them in August!), but also because I really wanted to save up and pay down debts.

One of the consequences of that was the extreme delay of Elden Ring, but another was that all of a sudden I had to get content out on a very set schedule. Most of my work is done on the steam of Whatever Catches My Creative Attention At The Time, but with a deadline hanging over my head, suddenly I had to find video ideas whether they presented themselves naturally or not.

I feared that a list-video would be a turn-off for my audience, I feared that it would be seen as shallow and tacky, like a 2010s Buzzfeed listicle. I feared that people just wouldn't be interested in the kind of art analysis I like to do, or would find it pretentious to seek meaning in what is - let's be real - commercial artwork meant to promote game cosmetics.

The benefit of a sponsorship is that the video has already made a profit, whether it does well or not, and I thought that in making this video, I was being self-indulgent and "ignoring" the desires of my audience.

Instead, it's one of the best performing videos ever on my channel, and people have cited it as a favorite among my videos quite a number of times.

Which was really... encouraging, honestly. I didn't expect it, but this video really did give me a confidence boost that the things I care about and find interesting do have an audience, even extra-nerdy rambling about League of Legends cosmetics.

Building a Better Soraka (September)

Building a Better is a series title I sometimes regret a little bit, because no matter how much I try to explain in the videos themselves that there is no such thing as a perfect character design and that my revisions and ideas are not meant to be definitive in any way, I always get comments from people accusing me of declaring myself The God of Character Design and sitting in holy judgment over the work I'm critiquing.

To an extent, I guess that's unavoidable on the internet, but... maybe the series title was a bad gamble on that front.

I do stand by, though, that my designs have a reasonable argument that they are improvements over the originals. Arguments that can be interrogated and criticized, but valid, reasonaed arguments, not mere polemics.

Building a Better Soraka was an experiment in creating the series, as instead of working with a single artist to iterate on design improvements, I ended up commissioning more than a half dozen people for artwork and using different renditions to make my argument. It did hurt the coherency of the video a little, I feel, but it did open me up to a much more flexible way to produce videos like it in the future, which I'm happy with.

Plus, I really do like what I came up with here, and I adore the ways that @sabtherobot, @sinizade and @lekyrin executed my ideas and brought their own visions of the character. Soraka is a character who deserves a lot better than the basic design she's stuck with, and whose story can do so much more visually than Riot is willing to allow it to do.

"Not Without You" - the story of Nasus and Renekton (November)

Of all the writing I did this year, this is by far what I am most proud of.

The video itself did not perform very well, nor did I expect it to, but the reactions I saw from the audience on this piece... yeah. That filled a very hungry part of my heart, I'm not gonna lie.

Writing a novel is a life ambition for me, as it is for many people. Actually writing it is a lot more elusive, though, in part because I struggle to feel confidence that my writing would ever hold up to the scrutiny of an audience. I struggle to feel that I would ever be able to connect emotionally with people, that I would be able to make what I feel sensible through writing.

This story proved that I can. Not to a big audience, perhaps, and I certainly don't have any delusions of genius or grandeur. I do not ever expect to be a famous or fêted writer, nor an important one. But... I do feel like with this story, I proved that I can at least be a competent one, which is frankly all I want.

And Nasus and Renekton were grateful subjects, too. Their story is naturally deeply emotional, albeit strangled by Riot's chronic indifference towards their most compelling narratives, and a lot of what I ended up exploring in there did come from a very genuine place in myself. It was nice to touch that part of my soul, and make something out of it, even if it's only silly fanfiction for a silly video game.

I am cautiously optimistic about 2023

Looking back over the videos I made this year, while I have a lot of work that I am proud of, I also see a lot of videos that I think I made less out of a desire to make them and more out of a fear of not making them. Videos that I made because I felt like the audience expected it, because the algorithm demanded it, because rent is always coming due and I am petrified of ever being broke again.

This is normal and natural, it is to some extent just the nature of the creative process under a capitalist market system where your work must always have some sort of price tag. But... I don't want to keep doing it. If I have an ambition for 2023, it is to make more of the videos I want to make, more videos that I only I can make. To give myself a little bit of a break and ease up on the self-recrimination and stress.

I have so many projects I want to get to, and being in my 30s I am becoming more and more conscious that while I (hopefully) have something like twice my current lifetime left to create the things I want, time is a finite resource, and spending it trying to please a website algorithm probably won't do me that much good in the end.

Anyway, some other things I did which I am quite proud of:

Played through God of War: Ragnarök while telling stories about the mythology of my childhood.

Ran around the world of Eorzea, accompanied by some of the funniest, silliest and most generous FFXIV players a man could dream of.

Finished a Pokémon HeartGold Nuzlocke with possibly the most nerve-wracking finish I have ever had to a Pokémon game

Reviewed every single Gen 1 Pokémon

Finished Great Ace Attorney Chronicles 1, probably the let's play with the most voice acting I have ever done. Some of it is even good!

If you've read this far, thank you so much for your time, your attention, your interest and your indulgence. Your 2023 be a good year, and may the tides of history wash gently over us all.

[acebytaemin]

top five exid concepts (or songs. or both)?

OOF this is literally so hard they don’t even have thattt many songs but they’re my absolute favorite women i love almost everything they’ve done so this won’t be a definite list and i am for SURE missing some of my own favorites but like! just off the top of my head:

1. hot pink (top concept / song / everythinggg to me 🩷 i literally like the way you pink it + i gotta plug the iconic tipsy live i mean remember when idols used to know how to SING? <- jokingly ofc)

2. woo yoo by hani (the pun!!!! ‘i say i need ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh you ooh you’ sounding like she’s saying she needs uyu aka milk in korean is so funny and it’s such a GORGEOUS beautiful song esp when she sings it live like here where she made the audience laugh w the little pun too hehe <3)

3. I LOVE YOUUUUU it’s vocal prowess it’s my beautiful women SCREAMING they love me at the top of their incredible lungs and THIS is one of my fave vids of them singing they’re just SO GOOOOD i always get chills from solji + hyelin at the very end)

4. velvet (LE solo) = are you hungry? (jeonghwa & hyelin) i couldn’t choooose and it’s so funny if you know both of these songs bc they’re so opposite LMFAO but they’re both such gorgeous examples of their respective genres and show how even though they are all incredible together they still have so much to show individually/as subunits and they’re so versatile and everything they dab in just turns out to be so fun/good like! my exid!!

5. night rather than day (even without solji they managed to make such a gorgeous comeback that sounded just like exid (of course while missing solji dearly) and they yet again showed something new & beautiful and i loooove that song it’s one of my faves + who would exid be without a tipsy live) and up & down and ah yeah all tied here i have to mention them all i wanna mention L.I.E. too but if i got into why i love each of those we’d literally be here all night and it’s already taking me SO long to answer these fkhskdk so !!! trust me they’re incredible and i love them so much for GOOD REASON 💖💖💖

+ if you click on any link from this entire essay please let it be 💖EXID ON KILLING VOICE💖 my girls are showstoppers and this is a perfect condensed little taste of why they’re all that and then some!

[darkfictionjude]

Hi, again. I've been enjoying reading everyone's questions and your responses about the characters (both the "spicy" and "non-spicy"). You really thought deeply into this with each of the cast having their own desires, histories, outlooks on life, and fleshed out personalities. They have really come off the page. I'm excited to see the characters' actions and reactions in the rest of the story and how it would differ from how I currently see them in my head. I have to say, I learned more about them in these past 2 weeks than I thought I ever would have. 😅. It's been entertaining though. Also Congrats on finishing your two essays.

-Marcel

Hahaha yeah it really has been an eventful two weeks. The questions help me, who knows maybe a character might be in a similar situation and I’ll know how they’ll react based off the asks. It helps me know them deeper too.

Also thank you, the most important part about them to me was trying to make them feel more than people there to woo MC and I’m happy many readers feel like I’ve done it.

THANK YOU FOR THE ESSAY CONGRATULATIONS MARCEL I LITERALLY HATED DOING THEM 💜

[missguomeiyun]

Homecooking [March ed]

Hiiiiii~

Rolling into spring with some spring rolls xD sorry, that was bad :P

Nothing much this month, I would say. Weather getting warmer. Sun out for longer. .. etc. I did a sketch of my favourite short tracker this season: Kim Gun Woo of Korea. I am watching a Kdrama called The Impossible Heir. Started strong, I caught up . .. & then the female lead kinda got on my nerves. I'm not familiar with her acting profile; however, I'm not sure how she got casted for this role. Were there no other options?! Anyway, you watch for yourself (& maybe let me know!).

I ate out several times this month as well. In fact, I've eaten out the most number of times this month since the pandemic lol it's an achievement. Will work on those posts after this one! But for now. ..

The carbonara Samyang spicy chicken noodles WITHOUT the spicy chicken sauce. I've added some baby bokchoy, tofu & kimchi with it.

Kimchi pancake- I'm trying diff batters. This one was unsuccessful so I won't share. It was so. .. 'hard' =/

Homemade wontons with noodles & baby bokchoy.

Yes. .. more bokchoy -.-" this was thick rice noodles with hot pot fatty beef slices. Threw in some soup seaweed as well.

Pasta - for dinner, then leftovers for lunch the next day.

Also the carbonara Samyang spicy chicken noodles but without the sauce xD I keep the sauce for hotpots & stuff now.

Bro made fried chicken using a new batter recipe. It was alright.

"A little bit of everything" rice noodles - bean curd, bokchoy, napa cabbage (it's so pale in colour that you can't even see it), soup seaweed, kimchi, chicken. .. in a deonjang jjigae base.

Yeah I know, it's expired but it was still good. I smelled it haha I ate the Korean franchise congee recently ("Bon-juk" brand) & I was inspired to create something similar. I used this expired soybean paste soup sauce with another Hmart product that I've eaten before, instant vegetable-flavoured congee, & cooked the two together!

& it became this ^ soybean paste congee. It was actually very good! I had a little taste test while cooking it & it was way too salty (the instant congee pack is seasoned) so I added regular rice to it & more water . .. I essentially diluted out the contents. Ended up with way too much product lol oh well, leftovers, right? This was super successful. I would recommend it, especially if you wanna make a bigger batch & save some for later or if you are feeding 3-4 ppl.

That's all~ Bye byeeee~~

PS: I visited the Stanley A Milner (downtown) library for the 1st time since the renos were finished. I don't exactly know when the renos were done as I don't travel to that area often. ..

The atrium area between 2nd and 3rd level, feat. my nieces.

The facility was actually really nice! I remember spending time here when I was in high school . .. it was sooooo dim & the place was so old-looking. The most amount of time I was here was during extended essay writing period.. . had to read, write notes, & cite references for my paper, which was on Sun Yat-sen lol I don't recall the title of my paper anymore...been too long! But yeah. The library is very good-looking, with some really cool areas. The crowd. .. ughhh.. There was a strong security presence, which was good, I guess, but the amount of questionable ppl was also abundant. Sometimes I wonder if having a security gate/bag xray machine at the door would be a good idea. Of course, I acknowledge the fact that it's a "public" library but I also think measures should be taken to make all members of the public feel safe. Then again, if such measure was applied to a library, malls should get it too? *shrugs* Let's just say the facility was upgraded BIG time but the population hasn't changed.

Off I go to work on other things now :P seeeee ya!

[dylan-rodrigues]

ep. 7

This has no right being so funny, I think the opening scene with Jung-woo and his chest pains have to be the funniest in this drama so far

Youngest sister kinda mean tho. If a dude was legally not allowed to find love, I'd feel bad for him, not scoff or laugh at the poor guy

This poor footman trapped in between two developing couples. Honestly, I’m shipping youngest daughter and police orabeoni the most rn, they’re so cute. 

Hwa Rok looking just like me after I pull an all nighter bc of an essay

I am sorry, Rowoon is so baby girl in this drama. Did he just drop off a lil love note? And that lil bow under the paper 😭😭 so cute aah

Young sis and officer oppa lobbing compliments at each other across the room & poor butler once more in between

Wait why did she burn his notes?? Meanwhile he's keeping hers in a box 😭😭this was brutal to watch

Oh no, what's happening to this kid... Ah, good for him, the kid's got survival instincts at least. 

Eldest sis getting involved in palace intrigue, she def not getting married now… and where is this plotline going? Hoping the Crown Prince and eldest sis only have a sibling type relationship...

Oh Soon-deok’s FIL does not like taking orders from his wife, or watching her give them

Kinda struggling to get thru this... Not sure if it's a pacing issue or just me. Like I feel like this drama has a lot of funny and cute moments but outside of that, there are so many lulls

I like how the king and the queen are in sync, he doesn't engage in recriminations, they just both try to get the job done. Power couple fr. What a foil to Soon-deok's inlaws.

Yeah bro, why are you as the king, so powerless? Joseon court politics are wild 

Dude is so in love, he's even cradling the chess piece (?) representing her with so much affection lmao.  I like how Jung-woo didn't even try to claim he's as fit as her orabeoni 💀💀

Wait what? Why is Jung-woo wearing her clothes? Am I missing something

Ah it was for a classic kdrama romantic water rescue

Unfortunately there are still 4 more weeks left of this drama, so I doubt she wants to marry you, buddy 😔

[smallearthboundfindings]

"now ask about ness for an equally long essay" formally requesting the essay ^__^ unless other people got the same idea to ask about him and in which case go with any other main character you feel like doing (although the more obscure ones have been fun to read/think about)!

Woo, Ness the Bess, let's go!! (Nope, no other Ness requests yet!)

Unfortunately, now I am faced with a new problem: I have TOO much material to work with! (Ness's section alone on my headcanons doc is 5 pages, 12px Times New Roman, Double Spaced.)

But you know what? I’ll just pick the one I can elaborate on the most. It also goes into a larger theory of mine, so here goes: this one's about Ness's homesickness status effects, a few other things, and the implications this has on how PSI works as a whole.

Here's the original snippet from my doc:

"Explaining his homesickness status, [Ness] has a tendency to become overwhelmed under stress, which can either weaken, disable, or throw his powers completely out of his control to spark out randomly by his emotional state. Remembering home is just the most common manifestation of what his brain will try to calm him down with but, ironically, this tends to just make the problem worse due to his sentimentality."

I’ll elaborate upon this because I think it has more to be said.

PSI is clearly heavily linked to its user’s emotions. For one, the magic butterfly that restores it is stated to “make Ness and his friends relax”. This implies that a calm mind is required to use psychic moves. Not only that, but there is also the “Can’t Concentrate” status condition, which, guess what? Disables psychic moves. These combined with the fact that things like homesickness can cause missed attacks show that, yes, emotional state absolutely has an effect on the moves. If you are not stable enough, they simply will not work.

Look at Giygas (corrupted form), for example, who clearly is not controlling any of those moves you cannot comprehend the true form of. They seem almost random and for his clear chaotic state of disarray, it makes sense that the attacks become just as random.

So emotional disarray can either disable your powers, make you use them less efficiently, or throw them at random it seems.

Now, most of the time, Ness is a pretty jolly kid, but you know he is absolutely emotionally driven by his family (has to call both his mom and his dad to do well). And something interesting about the homesickness status, is that it’s only relevant in the middle of the game. See, I’m copy-pasting but the stats on that are as follows:

Level 1-15: 0/256

Level 16-30: 3/256

Level 31-75: 2/256

Level 76-99: 0/256

Here’s what I think is happening here…

At first, he’s very close to home, so no problem! He’s just like, “Yay! Adventure! :D :D”

But once he’s out of Onett, then he starts thinking, “Am I out of my mind? Is this too far? What if?” And it’s clear he thinks these things too if not evidently clear by Lumine Hall’s dialogue. He clearly puts a lot of pressure on himself to keep the others safe at a certain point where it is no longer just fun and games until he has actually and literally fought his inner doubts in Magicant and returns sure of himself and brave (aka. the Lv. 76-99 range).

So yeah, that’s what I think! Ness was not always the best with his powers because he channelled his sentimentality in the wrong way. It’s not that he couldn’t be sentimental, being sweet is part of his character! Look at his Magicant and he’s clearly still trying to justify Porky no matter all he’s done. He has so much optimism in the world, yet doubts in himself, ironically. He seems like the type to mask these doubts in his humor but if becomes too large, he simply cannot bottle it further. It’s just that he had to learn to believe in himself to be able to calm his nerves from the inside.

PSI users also accidentally using PSI under emotional distress is also great for angst. Just imagine one of them clearly trying to hide they feel scared or something but little flecks of colors are just sparking off of them, making it clear to their friends that something’s wrong but they don’t know what? Oh, that’s good for the angst. I could say something really heartbreaking about Claus now. But I won’t! Cause this ain’t about him!

But anyway, there’s your PSI/Ness’s homesickness essay! Hope that was essay-y enough for you! Thanks for asking!

[acerodons]

Gonna post my first finished mp100 short here

No AO3 until I get more done.

Inspired by this https://twitter.com/AcerodonJubatus/status/1633833535890153472?s=20

(Please keep in mind this is my FIRST TIME writing these characters and I have not written anything in months due to *gestures at everything*)

FIC UNDER CUT WOO

--------------------------------

Tension

Seri x Reigen fic

Teen

The sun had not yet set bringing that mystical mix of the city street at night with the final, red rays of the day. Street lamps and store fronts grew in presence as shadows stretched long before melting together. With spring not fully realized, the lack of warmth quickly turned every exhale into a small cloud. Even on the bus everyone kept their long coats zipped up and gloves on.

 Seri stood with one hand keeping himself steady on a support bar with his gaze idly watching the passing buildings. The last of the crimson faded from the sky. Three more, two more turns; one stop in between. He hoped the notes he took today were sufficient, as all he had going through his mind had dissolved down to lights and numbers with the swelling joy of finally getting to go back home. The bus hit a few potholes and he was forced out of his day dream. His stop was already next.

 Their cohabitation ended up as a meager, pseudo studio apartment. At least it was near the deli and a bakery. The landlord claimed it was a one bedroom with plenty of charm. He probably was referring to the window facing the small garden shop and not the closet like living space. Didn’t matter to Seri. He walked briskly up the stairs, breath trailing behind him as he unlocked and opened the door.

 Warmth met his cold face, mixed with the scents of instant noodles and green tea. Another smell pricked at the back of his mind but was soon covered with lavender.  A single candle burned on the meager kitchen counter/dining area – a gift from Shou for the new years. Setting his bag down, Seri was relieved to finally be back. He removed his coat and shook off the remaining chill. One benefit of a tiny place was it was cheap and easy to keep warm, even more so when they were both on the couch together.

 And there lay Reigen on said couch, legs hanging off the side as the TV droned on some news special about vegetables and fruit and which were the best to eat. He was bare foot and still in his pants and shirt from work but with jacket off and buttons undone.

 “I’m back!” Seri spoke with a cheer in his voice, taking off his own shoes. “Sorry for being late, the class ran over like it does every Friday.”

 There was a grunt in reply. Reigen gave a nod. “Yeah of course.”

 By the time Seri arrived home every weekday, Reigen had already started his long wind down to bedtime. He pulled back his legs and shifted over to give enough for Seri to join him on the couch. They both sat weary but comfortable from a full week. Lazy, but accomplished. Then Seri noticed it: the dull look in his eyes, the tense posture, one hand fisted into a ball with the other fidgeting with the undone tie at his chest.

 “Taka-“

 Reigen could feel the eyes on him and at once started painting his cover. “So how was school? Learn anything interesting?” His balled hand rose to give a few gestured as he prattled on. “You know, soon you’ll be far enough to tutor Mob. Heard you are working with Shou. Funny how it all comes back to you like that.”

 “Yeah.” Seri blinked, looking down at the floor. “I’m shocked but pleased how fast I caught back on.”

 “See? Like riding a bike.” A forced laugh from Reigen. “Expect with books and math. And way too many essays.” He sat up more in the couch, posture still ridged. “Say, are they still assigning those? I remember getting a pile over the weekends. Made it hard to do anything else.”

 “Well, not many this weekend. More starting projects.” Seri hated the silence that fell after his last word.

 Not even enough energy for that, huh Taka? He wanted to say it out loud. So many nights Reigen would rant and rave until making the excuse to depart for bed in the end. He’d lie in Seri’s arms, eventually falling into a fitful sleep. Talking was his style, yet he ended up saying so little.

 The TV went on, ads before a report on local construction. Seri felt his shoulder droop, each passing second wanting to do something. He closed his eyes.

 “I know you can smell it.” Reigen was staring at the floor too, hands still in his lap. He shot a glance over to Seri. “I only finished one. Started the second and was-“ He paused, his hands tensing into fists, “so disgusted with myself I threw it on the ground.” Forcing a grin he met Seri’s eyes. “Imagine me, wasting a cigarette like that?”

 Seri frowned back, but not out of disappointment. Without any judgment he wrapped an arm around Reigen and held him close. The man gave in, leaning against his shoulder.

 “You’re so tense. Come here.”

 Seri started rubbing down along the back. He had caught himself many times in the past with his spine arched, tongue pushed against the top of his mouth, and his shoulders rigid. Especially at school. He wondered how many hours Reigen was stuck in that stressful loop, his body mirroring the storm in his brain. Seri shifted up to gently massage Reigen’s neck.

 “It was such a long week. Between that angry patron and those two twins  and the new electric bill and-“ Reigen started gesturing again, the tension in his arms trying to free itself through his fingers but only getting trapped

 “You don’t have to explain anything.”

 Seri slouched down into the couch, offering his chest. Reigen rested his head. Another bout of silence; this one far less stressful. The sound of cars and people outside mingled with the TV. Just the two of them enjoying each other’s company. In the idle time, Seri took to using his powers to tidy up a bit of the apartment – putting away some dishes into the sink and stacking mail and books. The objects glowed lightly in his aura as they floated about. He even readied the bed for their eventual departure for the night, all while massaging his stressed roommate.

Reigen’s voice came in such a muffed whisper Seri could barely hear it.

 “I’m so glad you’re home.”

 Seri could still feel the tightness just from gently stroking Reigen’s back. He gave a long exhale, hoping he could be as good at this as his boss.

 “You’ve told me a few times-“ He paused, trying o find the right words “That it’s ok to be wrong. I mean, like this.” Seri exhaled again, more of a frustrated sigh. “Pain, hurt. It’s a part of life and not some terrible sin.” He glanced down at Reigen. “Sorry. You said it far better than me.”

 “Nothing wrong with suffering, nothing wrong with stumbling. “Reigen mumbled into Seri’s chest. “If you never had a bad day you wouldn’t be alive.” He gave a snort. “Sounds corny now that I hear it myself.”

 Seri looked down, meeting Reigen’s sleepy gaze. “It’s not that corny.”

 Regien grinned back, their lips growing closer. “Yes it is.”

 Both their trains of thought had met on the same track and were now derailing. Seri leaned in for a long kiss, pushing against Reigen as he resumed his back massage. His fingers circled over higher muscles before trailing lower. A shudder in his arms.

 “You’re getting better at this.” Reigen was smiling wide now, his whole face not afraid of hiding his emotions.

 “And you are still too tense.”

 Seri was answered with another kiss. He stopped his massage as Reigen shifted, turning so his chest was out now and his neck craning up for more. Naturally, Seri’s hands caressed up between the unbuttoned shirt. There was already sweat beading there.

 Both their breathing grew heavy. He broke off from the kiss, allowing his lips to trail down, tongue against Reigen’s cheek. Lower and lower. Hands gripped his shirt hard as he teased. Suddenly, a moan broke out, Reigen jolting up before giving a shudder and flopping onto his back on the other side of the couch.

 What had he done just now? He was only touching the chest, his lips- oh- his tongue. There was a slight red mark on the skin along where the larynx gives form when one tilts their head up. Though half open eyes, Reigen let out a grateful sigh.

 This warranted further experimentation. Seri straddled Reigen, pinning his hands down as he resumed paying attention to the neck. His lips first, then the tongue, up the full length from the middle gap of the clavicle to the base of the chin. This time the moan was a yell, shaking and airy, Reigen breathing hard. He tried to push back but could only lie; helpless under Seri as his nerves fired in a perfect pattern. In the end, the normally confident, smooth talking man was a puddle with his legs crossed and his mouth open, trying to catch his breath. Seri blushed.

 Slower now. He gently took the neck in one hand, rubbing his thumb along the same path. Reigen gripped back, panting and moaning as he looked up through cracked eyelids.

 Su- suya.” He was stumbling over syllables now.

 Seri leaned down and gave another kiss at the spot. Under him, Reigen kept his head tilted back, stare fluttering back. He was making it clear. Even Suya could get it. Do anything, rip off his shirt, pin him down, break this couch ravaging him. A long, ragged exhale before Reigen reached up, taking Seri’s tie in his hands. A little tug in invitation.

 Seri sat up, pulling a small notepad out of his pants pocket with a pen and began scribbling down notes.

 “Hey! What?”

 Reigen sat up, a fit of amusement and rage mixing with the heat in his chest. In the end he cracked a smile.

 “Suya. You can’t be serious.” Reigen shook his head.

 Seri was still writing, his paper having a small diagram of Reigen’s neck with notes around it.

 Hands engulfed the notebook. “How about you take notes after?” Reigen took the pen and paper away, leaving them to fall to the floor. “I’m sure there’ll be much more to learn tonight.”

 Seri blushed harder, giving a sheepish grin. They settled into the couch again with Reigen on top now. They started again with a long kiss as the light from the TV flashed colors over the embracing pair.

[casual-eumetazoa]

another personal crisis here we go again woo

So long story short, the last eight or so months of my life have sucked ass and now I want to quit my PhD program.

The longer version is that in October of last year I got a kidney infection that landed me in the emergency room, then the worst autism burnout of my life hit (I couldn't even communicate verbally and was absolutely dysfunctional for weeks), then I got a toxic thyroid nodule that was overproducing hormones and made my whole body go to hell. For context, at baseline I already have ehlers danlos syndrome and dysautonomia so the thyroid thing was just too much. Then I got a horribly inflamed wisdom tooth (that still needs to be removed as of me writing this), and my OCD got so bad that I couldn't eat anything for days, lost weight until my BMI was around 15 and a half, and almost ended up in a psychiatric hospital with a feeding tube.

I have only started recovering from all this in May and had to immediately jump back into uni work cause I missed so much and sick leave is not really a thing in the program. I was supposed to be on break until October but I need to scrape together some semblance of work to pass the so called mid term evaluation cause I'm a second year student and we're supposed to already have a bunch of stuff done at this point.

Well, after all I've been through, I kind of lost the ability to care about work. I've been losing interest in science for a while now but I think getting so ill was the nail in the coffin of that special interest somehow. I used to be extremely passionate about what I did, during my Master's I was working/studying 70 hours a week and I was the happiest I've ever been. Now I can barely make myself work on a meta-analysis for an hour or two a day. I'm currently doing some work for a class and it's almost physically painful. I just do not care so much and having to drag myself kicking and screaming into it feels like chewing through a wall of granite.

I want to quit this program so bad but the issue is that my stipend is almost the only source of income for me and my partner (the 15% or so being his student stipend). If I were to quit, I would need to find a job, and I just do not feel able to jump into anything any time soon. We have a decent amount in savings but I don't know how long that would last us.

So I don't know what to do. On one hand, I feel like I'm wasting my life on something I do not care about while I could be working on video essays and books that I am immensely passionate about. On the other, quitting now seems like a childish tantrum and I don't know what I would do without this money. I guess I could go to my parents for help but they aren't doing that well financially and I doubt they would be able to support me. Which means I am stuck.

Idk why I'm even typing all this, I guess I just needed to vent. I am so tired of my body and brain being like this. My supervisor and research team also suck but that's a whole another story. Basically, I feel trapped by this stupid PhD and I don't know what to do. I wish I never had entered this program tbh and I'm constantly wishing I would get kicked out of it for other reasons. But I've no idea how I would get money without it. So yeah. Sucks to suck.

[beesandwasps]

Yeah, uh, that’s because people have noticed that Democrats don’t act on their campaign promises/platform.

I know that you guys, being Democratic loyalists, believe that people exist to serve political parties, rather than the other way around, but most people vote because they want to see certain things done.

Since 2000, the Democrats have almost made a point of doing the opposite of what they promised. They supported Bush’s imbecile wars in Afghanistan and Iraq (Kerry, Clinton, and Biden all voted for it, and Clinton and Biden were public boosters of it). In 2006 they promised to end the Iraq war and hold Bush responsible. After taking a majority in both houses of Congress, they funded the “surge” Bush asked for and Nancy Pelosi announced that impeachment was “off the table” (which is very much a set phrase of hers that she likes to employ when she is announcing that there was no reason to vote for her after all). In 2008, they promised to end the wars, hold Bush responsible, and prosecute the Too Big To Fail banks — Obama did none of that. He didn’t even try. (Incidentally, one of his lesser campaign promises was also to get Congress to encode abortion access into law; after getting into office he announced that that was no longer a priority.)

In 2012, some of us were pointing out just how worthless the Democrats had been in practice. Obama’s campaign managers published essays and/or said in interviews that it was stupid to expect any campaign promises to be kept. Not “it’s an unfortunate truth that we can’t do everything we promised” but “if you thought we were going to do any of the things in the platform, you were a fool and we used you to get our team into office; tough luck for you, idiots”. These same people were then hired by Hillary Clinton to manage her campaign, which gave us a heads up that she was lying all along, too. (Not that we needed it, what with her “triangulating” so hard that she noticeably completely changed direction at least twice during the campaign, first to try to woo Sanders voters who were very much to her left and then, after getting the nomination, to try to get Republican voters — who aren’t actually very far to her right, if you pay attention to her actions rather than her words.)

Frankly: that’s just not how it works in practice. If Democrats want high turnout, they need to provide public evidence that they actually try first, and then people vote for them. After Biden’s performance — more fossil fuel extraction on public land than any previous president after running on fighting climate change, a total denialist approach on Covid after mocking Trump for doing the same, more kids in cages after raging about Trump, a completely new category of funding for police after going for the “defund the police” vote, and then of course there’s his genocide in Gaza (I know you guys have absolutely no moral center so you are willing to dismiss that, but some of us remember that that was why the Nazis were bad, it wasn’t the aesthetic, which is what you’re objecting to in Trump).

Frankly, anybody still supporting the Democrats at this point deserves scorn. If you’re still expecting them to be useful when they have said outright that anybody who expects that is an idiot, then you’re an idiot. If you aren’t expecting them to be useful, then you’re the reason we can’t replace the Democrats with a better party, and you deserve everything up to and including violence for that.

At the very least, please shut up.

such a huge relief that hillary’s so ahead in the polls and trump has such a small chance of winning, right? WRONG. DO NOT GET APATHETIC OR COMFORTABLE. DO NOT DECIDE YOU DON’T NEED TO VOTE BECAUSE YOU’RE SURE HILLARY WILL WIN. the only way trump can win now is if so many people expected to vote for hillary don’t show up to the polls. because you BETTER believe ALL of his supporters will be at the polls.

brexit passed in the UK because young people grew apathetic because they were sure it wasn’t going to pass. and it did, because old racists and xenophobes showed up in DROVES to vote.

tl;dr: VOTE, PEOPLE. VOTE LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. IT MIGHT.

[blushing-starker]

Hard to get, easy to keep

for the amazing @starkerfestivals kinktober prompts. I did lingerie, candy kink and just the tip. nsfw starker, dirty talk, pete's nineteen here but he enthusiastically consents, praise kink, slight feminization, blow jobs, referenced fingering and handjobs. you know, just a normal day writing porn with feels as one does ;)

p.s i might make this a series, but that depends on the feedback and work

-----

He's not even sure how it happens. Or, you know, what it is that happens. It was supposed to be simple; young reporter for The Daily Bugle wanted an interview. Ok, yeah, that's normal. Tony has ten reporters that circle him like vultures whenever he steps out of his mansion. The difference was the kid they sent him, because, by the way, he's a kid. Nineteen years old. Still in high school. Happy nearly had a heart attack when he first saw the kid. Anyway, difference is that this kid is beautiful.

Now, before you get your pitchforks out, Tony knows it's objectively wrong to do a double take in the middle of a party he's hosting because of a child. He also knows he's a Stark and when has a Stark not tempted fate? Or the police? Exactly, so he figured, fine, let the kid have his fifteen minutes of Tony Stark and he can have fifteen minutes of internally debating the pros and cons of fucking someone that's not even twenty years old yet.

But then Rhodey proposes to Pepper and what is he going to do, coax a kid into his bed while his best friends get engaged? No. Obviously. Unfortunately. So he tells Happy to plan a rain check. Poor kid went to Miami when he lives in Queens; he deserves a rain check and a flight in Tony's jet for when he gets back. Great, they schedule a meeting in Miami in two weeks.

Obadiah Stane attempts to form a coup, steal the company and ruin Rhodey's and Pepper's engagement party on the same day. Alrighty, an online meeting, then.

Peter has finals on the day they set out and can't be excused. Yet another painful reminder that he's lusting after a school boy still in puberty.

Tony Stark says fuck it like Tony Stark usually does and goes to New York.

Drops by the kid's apartment, woos the aunt and bam. Peter's luggage is ready by the time the kid comes stumbling home, arms bravely trying to carry what looks like a million magazines, journals, newspapers and printed articles. All about him. When they lock eyes, every single sheet of paper gets dumped on the living room couch.

"Hey, kiddo. Figured I'd bring myself to Queens for our interview, meet the famous aunt and wait for you here. But then May tells me you've had a rough week, so you and I are going on a road trip. My family has a cabin up north, just a couple hours from here. We can do your interview and discuss an internship at the company on the way there. Stark Industries is always looking for young talent and May and I agree: you've got talent, Pete."

May basically throws her nephew out of the apartment after making him promise to take this opportunity and have fun. They're on the highway five minutes later.

-----

Still feel like he only wants to fuck the kid? Well, he does want to fuck the kid, but Tony Stark doesn't sleep with stupid people. He's read all of Peter's articles from the Bugle, his essays from the high school newspaper and some of his work for his classes. It wasn't that hard to break into Midtown; Jarvis actually scoffed when Tony asked him to get into such a simple system.

The kid is clever, sarcastic, sharp and undeniably talented. A little rough around the edges, but who isn't at that age? If the kid doesn't want what he's offering, that's ok. If he only wants the internship, done deal. Tony's morals may be a bit sketchy, but he's not so sketchy he's going to force himself onto a kid.

And you know what? Sleeping with Peter is in the back of his mind during the first half of the ride. His questions aren't offensive or blunt, but they sure as hell don't beat around the bush. Tony actually has to pause and consider some of them a bit more deeply before answering. The whiskey helps with the unexpected case of nerves (him, nervous about flirting? His dad would keel over if he were alive.) and soon enough they're done with the prompt questions and improvising.

"At the party, the one in Miami, I saw Miss Potts getting engaged with Mr Rhodes. That must be very exciting, something to look forward to after everything that's happened. Do you think it'll help with morale, planning a wedding? If the company is getting involved."

Tony narrows his eyes at the kid, can't quite figure out his line of questioning. He takes a sip of his drink and reclines back in his seat.

"Honestly, we haven't discussed the idea of the company officially getting involved with the wedding. Pep, as you know, is a very serious CEO and I doubt she'd want to make that move. She's the type of person that would think of it as taking advantage of her job and the company's resources. Obviously, I'm going to go behind their backs and plan a few surprises. With my family money, though. Everyone loves Pep, but she'd feel uncomfortable if I intervened with the company name. I can respect that. There's no way in hell I'm letting them honeymoon in the United States, though. I will forcibly put them on a plane to Europe for that, if I have to."

Peter laughs and Jesus, that sound shouldn't be so pleasing to hear. " I look forward to taking those pictures, Mr Stark. I'm sure they'll be hilarious."

"Taking the pictures?"

"Oh, yeah! I got promoted to a photo journalist. The interview with you was scheduled before the change, though, so you don't have to worry about that."

And look at that, thoughtful, too. Tony hates paparazzi. "I appreciate that, Peter. Just for that, I'll give you the pictures for free."

He will. He's a Stark; the Bugle couldn't buy them even if they had the same budget as the Times.

Peter fidgets, toys with his glasses. Tony has the sudden urge to paint them white, watch as Peter blinks up at him from the floor and asks him, ever so nicely, if he could please remove them so he could lick Tony's dick clean without having them in the way. Tony downs his drink in one go and tries to remember how a Holy Mary prayer goes.

"You know, I was a bit surprised when I saw the engagement. I thought you were, um, involved with them. I mean, one of them, not the two of them together. That would be, not bad, obviously. Just unexpected, I guess? I hadn't thought of them as that type of couple in that ... context."

The words are out of his mouth before he can properly process them and he's never been more grateful to Pepper for suggesting he get a sound proof backseat.

"So you've thought of me, in that context?" Peter goes pink. Hello Kitty pink. Like, as pink as the goddamn Pink store. Strawberry ice cream pink. Peter wearing pink lingerie and drenched in strawberry ice cream, lollipop between pretty pink cupid bow's lips and Sweethearts littered over a flushed body.

Yes, he has a fucking candy kink; blame Jarvis 1.0 for not letting him steal sweets from his mom's hidden jar in the kitchen.

Still, that was bad, Tony. Bad, bad, possibly expensive sexual harassment lawsuit bad.

"I'm sorry, that was inappropriate-"

"No, I shouldn't have asked like that-"

"That wasn't even in the top ten worst questions reporters have asked me-"

"That doesn't mean I can ask something private like that-"

"It's fine, really, Pete-"

"I mean, if I did ask something private, it'd be only fair you ask me something, too-"

"Uh, not really, since you're a teenage reporter-"

"I'm nineteen-"

"That's not exactly a great card to throw, kid-"

"It's true, though! I'm an adult-"

"I shouldn't have asked that either way, Peter-"

"But it's true. I have. Thought of you. In that context. Often."

Great. Now Tony's going pink.

"I'm going to ask you something, Peter. You can not answer and we'll pretend this latter half of the ride never happened; your internship intact and your job done for the paper."

Peter bites his lip, peers up at him tentatively. Tony needs a bottle of whiskey right about now. "Or?"

"Or you answer truthfully. Your choice. I'm good either way, ok? I need to know you understand that one or the other, you have a choice in this, alright."

"I understand."

"You do? Say it back to me."

The kid's breathing hitches. Like something out of the romance novels Jarvis' wife used to read in the living room while Tony tinkered with DUM-E. Like Peter enjoys Tony telling him what to do. The same way Tony enjoys telling him what to do.

The hole is just getting bigger and bigger and he hasn't stopped digging, huh?

"I can not answer and there won't be any repercussions."

"Good. Nice use of vocabulary. Keep going."

"My internship will be ok and I'll have enough material for the Bugle. Or I can answer honestly. I have a choice in both."

"Fantastic job, Peter," he shivers, actually shivers, Jesus Christ on a bike, "now the question. When you were in Miami, were you already thinking of me in that context?"

He's expecting a punch. Maybe a slap, the kid looks more like a damsel in distress type and no, no, absolutely not going down the road of a roleplay starring shy, virginal princess Peter and rogue bard Tony desperately seeking to discover what's under long gowns.

(Peter in a pink cheerleading outfit, blushing wildly and gently licking him like a kitten, a bit awkward but determined to distract his boyfriend during a pregame ritual.)

(Peter wrapped in pretty bows and sheer lace, rose petals in his hair and hickies all over. Soft handcuffs pining his hands to the headboard, but legs free to scramble over silk sheets as the big bad wolf eats him up. His cute dick, who is he kidding, of course the kid has a cute cock, trapped in a metal cage and the key tucked away in Tony's garage. Laid down like a feast for Tony to devour.)

(Peter with maple syrup running down a pale chest, whiskey pooling in the dips of his hips, cotton candy melting over toned thighs and caramel drizzled over such beautiful lips.)

(PeterPeterPeterPeterPeterPeterPeterPeterPeterPeterPeterPeter)

Tony snaps out of it and steals two bottles of water from the mini-fridge, gives one to Peter.

They chug them down, both of them flustered and looking away. "I was. I was actually planning on doing something about it, but with the engagement and then my finals. I figured I lost my chance."

"And the extremely high age gap doesn't bother you?"

Peter shrugs, pushes his glasses up his nose. "I'm an adult. I'm still in high school because we moved to New York and the school decided I had to repeat a grade. I have my own income, I'm already getting scholarship offers from a few colleges. Yeah, somethings are bound to be different, but that doesn't really change my feelings. Honestly? I thought, if I'm going to have my first one night stand-"

"Might as well be with Tony Stark?"

"No, might as well be with someone who's not going to talk about it to the entire school and who takes it seriously. I've had friends who've dated a classmate and it never ends well."

"So, you want sex. With me."

"I'd, I'd like to try having more than sex with you. But, I mean, if it's just sex on the table, then yeah, definitely. Absolutely, Mr Stark."

"Ok."

"Ok? That's it?"

"Kid, if I think about it too hard, I'm going to stop the car and then ask Happy to hit me with the bat we keep in the trunk. Do you consent to sex and will you stop me if anything is uncomfortable?"

"I do."

"Great. I'm thinking sex first and then we give dating a try, how's that sound?"

"Um, yeah. I'm not really sure this isn't a dream."

"Oh, me neither. I stopped believing this is happening when you asked me about Pep and Rhodes."

-----

"Now that my timeline is clear and my conscience feels less like a train wreck, when are we going to stop this hard to get dance, Parker?"

Tony delights in the way the kid's eyes widen, how he visibly flushes when they literally just finished talking about this five minutes ago.

(They took a break. Stopped the car, stretched. Tony screamed into Happy's shoulder. Peter laid down and stared at the sky. Happy sighed and called Pepper to let her know they'd need to keep away the nosy reporters for a while. They all collectively decided to ignore each other while trudging back inside the car. It's fine, Peter's fine, he's fine. It's fine.)

"How about now?" It's the most tentative question Tony has been asked and a little girl once asked him if he was going to become her new daddy the morning after he broke her mom's bed.

"Yeah, you know what? I completely agree."

Tony takes off his sunglasses, makes sure the carpet on the car floor isn't too dirty. These are tailored pants, after all.

"You know you can always say no, right?"

"I do, Mr Stark." Tony smiles, can't believe this kid landed on his lap.

"Unless it's a thing for you, you can call me Tony, Pete."

That cute blush again. God, that's going on his spank bank for the rest of his life. "I, um, I think it's a thing. If that's ok with you?"

"I can definitely get used to it. Now do me a favor, Pete," the kid looks at him, eyes big and body leaning forward like he's desperate to follow orders," spread your legs for me, honey." Peter's legs nearly reach the doors at their sides and Tony thanks whatever god made it so that his new lover is flexible as an acrobat.

"I was a gymnast when I was small."

The smirk on Tony's face could raise the dead, "Of course you were, Peter." He carefully unzips black jeans, lowers them down hips he wants to bite and freezes.

"Peter, are you wearing boxer-briefs with my name on them?" They say STARK in bold letters, gold stitching bright against the black, tight fitting fabric. It, uh, does something to him, he won't lie.

"Oh, I forgot I had them on today. To be fair, you make really comfy underwear. My best friends got them for me as a birthday gift."

"Uh huh, sure. Can you lift your shirt up, please?"

"..."

"Peter?"

"I swear I didn't plan this."

"Right. Thing is, I know this particular set. The bottoms aren't that different from what you can get at Target, or Walmart. They're normal, really. The only difference is the quality of fabric and the stitching. The top, though. The top, if I'm not mistaken, which I'm not," Tony slides his hands below Peter's shirt and drags blunt nails up a warm chest until they catch on something, grins like he just won the lottery, "is a lace halter top bralette. I know because I helped make lace this sturdy and soft.

"Peter Parker, are you wearing Stark lingerie?" It is possible that the kid's glasses fog up. It is possible that it gets him hard.

"Maybe."

"Kid, I'm gonna eat you up."

Leaving behind the top half, Tony focuses on rolling down black underwear. He moans. Actually moans when he sees Peter's dick.

It's long and thin, just like the kid. As rosy as his cheeks, too. "Such a pretty pink cock and it's all for me. Do you think you'd taste like candy if I gave some Sweethearts or ice cream? Don't answer that, I'm sure you taste sweet anyway."

Peter jolts and precum dribbles from his cock. Huh. Add dirty talk to the list then.

"Mr Stark, I don't think I'm gonna last long." He hasn't even touched the kid and already his voice is cracked and shaky.

It's a very big turn on.

"Think you can last enough for me to get a good taste of this pretty thing?" Another jolt, another drop of pearly cum spills. Oh, he's going to have so much fun with Peter.

"No."

"Hmm. What if I just lick and don't actually suck? Mind you, there isn't a limit, kid. If you wanna spill inside my mouth and then come again, I don't know, between my thighs or, " Peter whines, hips flexing erratically and lip bitten red like a cherry, "I am absolutely down for that."

"I usually get, um, you know."

"Pete, I don't know."

The kid drops his head, squirms in his seat. "I get really wet and sometimes I come a lot. Many times. In one go." He winces, probably thinks Tony is going to throw him out of the car.

"Parker, look at me. None of what you just said is a bad thing. I am even more determined to get my mouth on that gorgeous dick of yours. Would you like that?"

A nod.

"Use your words, baby."

Pink again. "Yes, Mr Stark."

Shit, now he's going to have to ask Pep to call him something else. "Good boy." Peter wraps a tight hand around himself and groans, body curling over Tony's head.

"Please, please, Mr Stark. I won't last long."

"Excellent." Tony leans down and finds out that Peter Parker does, in fact, taste like candy.

---------

When they arrive at the cabin, Tony has to pry Peter away from the sticky seat. Happy opens the door to the place, does not look at either of them, does not breathe while they're close and then sits down on the front steps, taking out his first cigarette of the month.

Tony hums as Peter wakes up, happy to carry him all the way to the master bathroom.

"How long was I out for?"

"Fifteen minutes."

"And where are we going now?"

"I am drawing you a bath so we can rinse you off and get you clean."

Peter blushes and hides his face in the crook of Tony's neck. It's fucking adorable.

"I don't need a shower; I didn't come that much."

His leather seats beg to differ. The entire car is gonna have to be washed just to get the smell out. "You came three times."

"No, I didn't it."

"Right. So you didn't come in my mouth; glorious experience, by the way. You taste like sugar. You didn't come with just the tip of my fingers in your ass-"

"I asked you to-"

"To fuck you in the back of a moving car with my sizable dick. No way I was gonna do that, especially when I didn't know how much you could handle."

"I said just the tip."

"See, I wanna know why you're pouting because that same pretty jaw of yours dropped when it was just my fingers. Oh, and then you didn't come thanks to my amazing hands."

"I never said they were amazing."

"No, you said 'oh my god, let's do that again.' And I said not until you have a shower and some food. Now, are you going to be a good boy and be easy to hold during the bath?"

Peter blinks at him, hesitatingly shrugs. "What, you don't think I'm joining you?" The smile that gets him is enough to convince Tony that yeah, Peter's going to be easy to hold onto in and out of the bath.

[laryna6]

The AU where instead of rewind Ashborn stays awake, they save the dad, head out to pin the monarch’ forces between the shadow army and the rulers’ forces and earth doesn’t get wrecked -

Jin-Ah has Trauma and Sung Jin-Woo knows his parents would have liked him to be able to get an education instead of... this, so when Jin-Ah goes to university for pre-med Sung Jin-Woo enrolls at that same university for languages/linguistics (basically Jin-Ho goes over and offers them a big check). This way, she knows he’s there on campus/in screaming distance, but they’re in in different areas so overprotective big brother hovering doesn’t bother her.

Ashborn is auditing Jin-Woo’s classes since that seems interesting and they want him occupied with stuff bc the suicidal thoughts re. wanting to ‘sleep forever.’

The problem is: Freshman Composition/the required course that’s there to protect teachers against students who don’t know how to essay.

Jin-Woo has forgotten everything he learned in high school about how to essay. Explanatory writing? Getting his thoughts across? He spent the last several years doing absolutely none of that. It is a plot point that he can’t communicate shit. Also he’s unaware of general social stuff to the point where there is so much accidental sexual innuendo in his first handed-in essay. So much. The poor TA is terrified thinking he’s flirting.

So. Uh. How do you tell the most powerful hunter in the world who everyone knows the experts are sure is a monster lord at this point that he has to take remedial classes?

The obvious person to consult is Woo Jin-Chul, as this is his job, so the essay gets slid across his desk and he’s O.o remembering how people were bitching about Jin-Woo not talking to reporters and not explaining shit and going THANK GOD THAT BOY KNEW WHAT HIS LIMITS WERE because imagine if he HAD talked to people/done interviews, IMAGINE HAVING TO DO DAMAGE CONTROL ON THIS LEVEL OF COMMUNICATION FAIL and all the weird ideas people would have gotten from the miscommunications.

So he’s like yeah... the media would be all over remedial classes... a private teacher is easiest to keep private because Jin-Woo doesn’t deserve people mocking him for the damage he took trying to keep his family alive...

Also Jin-Ho can help! He’s a good communicator/proposal writer etc, he knows rhetoric.

As per the canon epilogue Igris is... trying to help, but he was a career soldier so.

Ashborn’s essay on the other hand gets ‘wtf is this sentence structure?’ but the head of Gate Studies or w/e at the university who is getting consulted because p sure these two are monsters is like ‘this is translated from runic/monster tongue.’ Since Ashborn knows conversational basically-every-language from turning tons of people into shadows in prev timelines, but prose language is different from how you speak conversationally and all his experience writing stuff is from back when he was the Greatest Fragment, so when he’s composing formal writing he thinks in his native language and then translates into Korean.

Which. All human languages follow like, certain instinctive grammar patterns? They’re aliens, theirs is different. So yeah, there’s going to be a lot of stuff where ‘literally no human language does stuff this way only runic.’

But in addition to that, even in translation Ashborn’s writing is obviously a different dialect from what they’ve found in the dungeons because a. dungeon stuff is all from monster culture and b. dungeon stuff is informal graffiti/notes/maybe journals while when asked to do formal writing Ashborn is going to be doing formal legal writing.

Since rulers are concerned with rule of law as per how they were designed, which raises the possibility that the gov’t they were running was constitutional instead of being based on ‘bc we said so.’

Anyway, the scholars are *grabby hands* so despite risk of death asking Ashborn if they can get the untranslated version, which he likely has on him/in a binder bc wrote that out by hand before typing up translated essay.

Monsters are made to destroy and rulers to preserve, and that likely shapes their worldview and therefore how they perceive and describe things, so like... very obvious differences in like, how sequences of events are described, the optimum change being natural growth rather than forcefully imposed.

Also base 9 counting system? Everything they’ve seen has been base 8 - monsters from the eight monarchs. While the ruler side counting system used to be eight rulers and then the creator... but after realizing the creator was a dick they decided to switch to base 8 and no one told Ashborn bc he was dead at the time.

[presidenttyler]

extremely good points. and i'm actually so glad you responded to this post cuz i love these two so much and love having an excuse to say more.

so yeah i have read the book and seen his lectures and i disagree with him strongly. and i think the argument in his book is weak. it's impossible for me to say they must have had a romantic relationship of course because if there was proof of that, we'd know it by now. but his argument is that they did not have one. and i 1) object to him being so sure about that, regardless of its likelihood, and 2) think they almost certainly did. i wrote an entire rebuttal essay (way too long for me to post here lol) but i will sum up my points as follows. (for the record, i am happy to cite the page number of anything i bring up, as well as give quotes, as well as even just post my whole essay. i am also obsessed with this a little bit lol because james buchanan is my favorite)

-he portrays the idea of them being romantically involved as far-fetched and as an accusation that people have only started making recently. first of all, i don't see it as particularly far-fetched. gay people weren't invented yesterday (and he very explicitly acknowledges that king was probably gay). second of all, the idea that this is a new idea is disingenuous. people have been accusing king and buchanan of being lovers since the 1830s and he knows this so why does he suggest it's an anachronistic concept?

-he makes weak comparisons to other contemporary politicians - e.g. they were both bachelors because they were so dedicated to politics (but almost all of their contemporaties married - every single presidential nominee between 1800-1856, except buchanan, either was or would be married) or e.g. other "bosom friendships" existed (but every example he gives were friendships between married men).

-he says king was probably gay but that he probably repressed it so strongly that he "can hardly be described as actively, or perhaps even consciously, same-sex oriented" (pg 34). he then quotes 2 other scholars who actually don't back up his assertion, one of whom acknowlrdges that men at the time did engage in homosexual activity sometimes... it strikes me as very hard to believe to be quite honest that king was gay but just repressed it so hard he wasn't even conscious of it, while living with another bachelor with whom he was extremely close for a decade.

-he presents arguments in favor of buchanan being gay as very weak and leaves out points in their favor, he also really skims over the famous "a wooing to several gentlemen" letter (e.g. he translates "wooing" simply as him looking for other roommates, without acknowledging that wooing is a strange word to use, and doesn't explain why buchanan - who he portrays as being very flirtatious and fond of female company - would sadly say he might find himself married to an old maid who won't expect any very ardent or romantic affection. why would he put it this way? why would this be what he wanted? i married a 22 year old in office, didn't i, and he could have done the same had he wanted.)

-he describes both men as effeminate but tends to write off the "aunt nancy," "mr. buchanan and his wife" &c. epithets as just cruel taunts of political enemies. however every other example of a cruel taunt is based on truth. for example, robert walker described as "little" because he was short. just becauee political enemies taunted him for his height doesn't mean he wasn't short.

OVERALL his argument is super weak and shockingly thin imo for a book that really explicitly was attempting to debunk rumors of them having a romantic or sexual relationship. he literally says king was gay, and the way he describes buchanan, the arguments he makes for him being straight are not strong. buchanan and king's relationship was highly unusual. you can't get around that. and i think it is more likely that the true explanation is the simple one: they were indeed involved romantically. tbh trying to explain their situation platonically is kind of hard and he does not do it very well. full respect to him of course but i wish his argument was more convincing if he was going to be making it.

thanks again for responding. sorry for this massive wall of text

just finished bosom friends and suffice it to say i am not convinced. there is no way those old men didn't fuck

[staynoonaz9290]

You Told Me You Were Okay

Prompt: “Please don’t make me choose.”

Group: The Boyz

Pairing: Sunwoo/Fem! Reader (Third Person-Hayley)(I just can't stay away from Sunwoo, guys, it's a problem 🤐)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Lots of angst, Open Ending, Unrequited Love, Language

Word Count: 2,961

Main Masterlist | The Boys Masterlist

**This prompt comes from @scvrllet, thank you so much!! Original prompt post here**

COMPLETE

You were are my best friend… and I’m always the happiest when I’m with you.

“Sunwoo! Stop!”

Hayley laughed, yanking her ice cream away from Sunwoo’s spoon, the utensil just centimeters from dipping into her last, delicious bites.

“Mine’s all gone!” he pouted, as if that was her fault- as if he hadn’t just eaten it all by himself at the speed of light.

“Learn to slow down and you’ll be able to enjoy things,” Hayley said smugly, taking her time scooping out her next bite of ice cream.

She ate it slowly, deliberately, humming at the end like it was the most delicious thing in the world.

And as she closed her eyes for extra dramatic effect, she felt the paper bowl shift in her hand, her eyes shooting open, Sunwoo’s spoon already filled with dripping, chocolate ice cream, the boy taking a bite too quick for her to stop him-

“Woo!”

He was laughing hysterically, running away, spoon still in his mouth, and Hayley was chasing after him, leaving her abandoned, empty bowl behind, their giggles echoing loudly across the yard.

We’ve always been there for each other… through the best of times-

“Hayley-”

Sunwoo said her name the second she’d answered the door, eyes wider than usual, a piece of paper grasped tightly in his hands.

“Did you-”

Her eyes widened as well, a smile pulling on the corners of her lips, yanking the acceptance letter from his hands.

“SUNWOO!” she cried, eyes darting quickly across the text. “YOU GOT IN!”

“Yeah!” he was laughing in disbelief, running a hand through his messy hair. “I can’t believe it-”

But Hayley could; all those nights they’d spent studying for the SATs, the scholarship applications, the work they’d put into his submission essay…

“I knew you could do it,” Hayley said softly, her eyes meeting his.

“Thanks… I couldn’t have done it without you.”

There was a warmth in his brown eyes as they met her own.

“You’re the best.”

And through the worst of times, too-

Hayley’s chest was tight, tears prickling the corners of her eyes as she got out of the car. Her hands were shaky, hitting the lock button on her keys, and then she was walking quickly to the familiar, blue front door of Sunwoo’s house, knocking once, twice, three times-

The door swung open almost immediately- she’d warned him she was coming. And he stood there- black t-shirt, gray sweatpants, his messy mop of hair telling Hayley her phone call had woken him up…

That’d he’d been sitting on the couch, waiting for her.

“Hayls-”

His eyes darted across the features of her face, the gentleness of his voice causing the tears to spill over, slipping down her cheeks, a small whimper catching in her throat as she threw her arms around his neck.

“I never thought he’d cheat on me,” she said somewhat squeakily, burying her nose in his neck, Sunwoo holding her close, his hands running up her back-

“I know-”

His voice was barely above a whisper, sounding almost just as heartbroken as she was.

“I’m sorry…”

We’ve spent years being partners in crime, getting into trouble and getting out of it-

“Hayley this- this is a bad idea-”

“You’re gonna chicken out? When we’re already here?!”

They were crouched behind a bush, shoulder to shoulder, eyes straight ahead on the sorority house across the street-

“I’m not chickening out, I just-”

Sunwoo was shifting from foot to foot, carton of eggs gripped tightly in his hands.

“This hazing thing is stupid, why do we have to do all this?”

Hayley giggled- Sunwoo always got irritated when he was scared.

“Because hazing is a tradition and all frats have it,” she said. “Now are you gonna throw these eggs so I can take a video or not?”

Sunwoo stared at her for a moment before groaning, lifting the lid quickly off the carton.

“Fine.”

He pulled out two eggs, one for each hand, standing slowly, eyes round, darting along the street and into the closed windows of the house.

“Go!” Hayley hissed, phone in hand, ready to record. “While the coast is clear-”

Sunwoo swallowed nervously before he was bolting across the street, Hayley hitting the button on her phone, trying not to laugh as she watched him toss the eggs across the yard, the yolk splattering along the glass panes of the windows-

Then he was turning around, a bright smile on his face rushing back towards the bush.

“You did it!” she yelled, forgetting they were undercover, turning off her camera. “Good j-”

“Let’s GO!”

Sunwoo grabbed her hand, yanking her upwards and pulling her behind him just as they heard the front door to the sorority house open up.

Hayley was laughing, tripping and trying to keep up as he dragged her forward.

And they were running together, Sunwoo still holding her hand, looking over his shoulder.

Beaming.

You were my go to for everything, even talking about guys.

Even when I knew you didn’t care about the hot dude in my history class-

“He’s just so… sweet, you know?”

Sunwoo adjusted the backpack on his shoulder, glancing sideways at her.

“I don’t know,” Hayley was playing with her fingers, a warmth spreading across her cheeks as she spoke. “I’ve been sitting next to Juyeon for a few months now and we’ve really gotten to know one another, and I just…”

“You really like him, don’t you?”

Sunwoo’s voice was a little quieter than usual, and Hayley looked at him, a slow, shy smile spreading across her face.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “I’m not sure if he likes me back, or if anything will even happen, but… yeah.”

And then Sunwoo was nodding, his eyes darting from hers as he fixed his backpack again.

“That’s great, Hayls-” he was pulling out his phone, checking the time. “-but I’ve gotta get to class-”

“Right,” Hayley was nodding. “See you for homework night?”

“Tch,” Sunwoo snorted under his breath, but he was grinning all the same. “Yeah. See you then.”

I didn’t know… and I’m sorry, Sunwoo.

I didn’t know how you felt; how long you’d been hiding your feelings.

How long you’d been keeping things a secret…

It was quiet, Hayley and Sunwoo sitting outside, nothing but rustling leaves and chirping crickets to fill the crisp, night air.

They were sipping on bottles of soda- Sunwoo’s favorite Japanese ones- spending a refreshing evening at the park after hours. They were side by side on a boat dock by the lake, their feet swinging in perfect rhythm, toes of their shoes grazing across the water-

“Hayley?”

She’d been spacing out, thinking of her homework, mid-terms, and when she’d have time to study for it all.

But she was caught off-guard by the trepidation in Sunwoo’s voice, turning quickly to face him.

“Yeah?”

He didn’t speak right away, his eyes lingering on hers, pressing his lips together as his fingers gripped a little tighter to his soda bottle.

And Hayley felt her heart skip a beat in her chest at the pure vulnerability of his expression, wondering what was up-

What was wrong-

“I… I have to tell you something.”

She stared at him, placing her soda slowly on the wood beside her before turning back to him, feeling concerned.

“Okay…” she said slowly. “You know you can tell me anything-”

Sunwoo chuckled softly, glancing at his lap, lips pressed together again before his eyes were meeting hers-

“Yeah, I know.”

There was a pause, Hayley waiting-

“I…”

Sunwoo fidgeted, swallowing audibly, Hayley’s eyes darting to the movement-

“I love you… Hayley.”

Time felt frozen, that day you confessed.

When I saw how scared you’d been to admit it- to finally tell me- and I hadn’t known what to say.

Because as much as I wanted to- as much as it would’ve been so much easier if I could just love you like that back…

I didn’t.

“Sunwoo.”

It was all Hayley could say, body rigid with shock.

“I-”

It was her turn to swallow, lips stumbling around words that wouldn’t come.

“I-”

“I know,” Sunwoo was nodding, but he hadn’t looked away in time, not before Hayley could see the pain in his eyes. “It’s okay, Hayls.”

And their legs stopped moving, Hayley’s heart pounding in her chest as Sunwoo stared at the black water in front of them-

“I’m sorry…” she whispered.

You told me it was fine.

That it wasn’t my fault.

That we could still be friends, and you were stupid for telling me.

You’d gotten nervous and jumpy, trying to make jokes like you always do when you’re embarrassed. You’d told me to forget about it- as if I could forget something like that...

You told me you were okay.

Three days later, you texted me, asking me to pretend like it never happened. You told me it was a giant mistake, confessing when you knew I didn’t feel the same, and said you were sorry again, for even bringing it up.

I could tell you regretted it.

I could tell you wished you could take it back.

So as much as I knew you, Sunwoo; as much as I knew you weren’t okay, I decided to do my best to forget about it.

Because I knew that’s what you wanted.

“Hayley?”

Her eyes darted up at the sound of her name, halfway through stuffing her textbook in her bag. Juyeon was standing beside her, already packed, history class ending just a few minutes before.

He looked a little nervous, rubbing the back of his neck as she stood up straight.

“Yeah?” she asked, smiling, an anticipatory flip of her stomach-

“Would you, uh-”

His hand slid to the back of his head, fingering the strands of his hair before his arm was falling back to his side.

“Would you like to get coffee with me sometime?”

Hayley’s heart skipped a whole beat in her chest when Juyeon smiled shyly at her, a small chuckle slipping from her lips as she nodded.

“Yeah,” she answered quickly. “Yeah, I- I would love that-”

Juyeon was nodding too, smile broadening.

“Awesome,” his voice was brighter. “Did you- maybe this Friday?”

“Friday’s perfect,” Hayley replied, a giddy bubble threatening to burst in her throat. “I don’t have any classes.”

And there was a sparkle in Juyeon’s eyes as they met hers.

“Great,” his voice was soft again. “I’ll… see you then.”

When I’d told you about my date with Juyeon, I’d been nervous, and it wasn’t something I was used to.

I could normally tell you anything.

I knew things were slightly different, no matter how much both of us wanted things not to be, and I wasn’t sure.

But you were fine, congratulating me and patting me on the back, even making a joke about how it’d taken Juyeon long enough…

And I thought you were okay- you told me you were- but it turns out…

You weren’t.

Because as the weeks passed by, Juyeon and I still dating, our relationship actually becoming something, you…

You pulled away from me.

Hayley sat cross-legged on her bed, glancing around her empty dorm before checking her phone again.

Still nothing from Sunwoo.

It was homework night; a day she dedicated to the two of them getting work done, so their grades wouldn’t slip.

Especially Sunwoo’s.

But he wasn’t there- hadn’t texted her back, and her chest felt hollow.

This wasn’t the first time he’d done this.

Suddenly, Hayley’s phone was buzzing in her hand, and she sighed when she read the text that’d popped up on the screen.

I can’t make it today, I’m sorry

He’d ditched her.

Again.

I’d asked you about it a few times; asked you if you were upset.

You always told me no.

You told me you were okay.

Just busy.

But you were lying again, Sunwoo.

I’d asked you to talk to me, but you wouldn’t, and you wanted things to be the same, but they weren’t, and I…

I didn’t know what to do.

“Hayley, I’m sorry-”

She grabbed his wrist, stopping him from walking away, his bare skin cold against her palm.

“Sunwoo.”

But Hayley didn’t know what to say; only knew things were wrong- all wrong- and she didn’t want them to be.

“I- I’m sorry-”

“It’s not your fault,” he told her, voice a little raspy, swallowing hard again.

They were in that same park, standing on the same boat dock, the glassy waters reflecting the moon above. Hayley’s bag of Japanese soda sat abandoned in the grass, and they’d never sat down, only stood, Sunwoo’s eyes melancholic, regretful again-

“I don’t know what to do.”

“I know-”

He was nodding, and she could see the wetness of his eyes as he looked away, taking his wrist from hers, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

There was a beat of silence, Hayley’s hand still hovering between them, Sunwoo glancing around the park as if searching for the words.

“I don’t think… I can do this. Right now.”

There was a sharp pain in Hayley’s chest, like Sunwoo had shoved a knife right through her heart, and she froze, hand falling limply to her side,

“You can’t…” she struggled for words. “You don’t want to be… friends-?”

“No, I do!” Sunwoo’s voice was strained, eyebrows furrowed in clear frustration. “But I- I can’t, Hayley-”

She just stared at him, unsure what to say once more, how to fix this-

Hayley knew it was Juyeon- knew Sunwoo was pulling away because he couldn’t see her with someone else, even when that wasn’t fair; when it wasn’t her fault, and now he was going to walk away from everything-

“I just need some time,” he told her. “I have to- I don’t know-”

Flustered again, he was shrugging his shoulders, looking around, avoiding her eyes, lips pressing together like always when he couldn’t figure out what to say-

“I have to figure this out.”

And I’d never wanted a time machine so bad.

To go back to the way things were- see if I could fix it. So we wouldn’t have been standing there in that park- our park- saying what felt like goodbye-

“Sunwoo, I’m sorry.”

But he was shaking his head again, hair falling into his eyes as he finally looked at her.

“You shouldn’t have to be.”

And Hayley knew it was true- knew it wasn’t her fault she didn’t feel the same- that she was dating someone else.

“Sunwoo, please…”

She watched him take a couple steps back, like he was going to leave, and she couldn’t bear it-

“Please don’t make me choose.”

You told me you had to go.

You’d left me in the dark, alone in the park, telling me you had to go and turning away before I could say anything else.

But I don’t want it to end like this.

I don’t want to lose you over something like this.

I’m sorry I don’t feel the same.

I’m sorry if there was anything I did to lead you on.

And I’m sorry that things are hard now.

But we’ve been through so much, and it’s always been us against the world.

We can fix this, too.

It’s been three months now...

And I can’t do life without you, Sunwoo.

You’re my best friend.

Hayley swallowed, eyes darting up from the paper in her hands.

She folded it neatly, meticulously, pushing herself off the brick wall she’d been leaning against, rounding the corner and spotting Sunwoo at his usual table outside the music building.

One cheek resting in his palm, elbow propped on the table, pencil twirling in a steady circle between his fingers; his study habit.

Hayley smiled a little.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she checked it quickly, a text from Juyeon on the screen.

See you for pasta at 7?

Her smile brightened, and she quickly texted him back.

Sounds amazing

Today, Hayley and Juyeon had officially been together for six months.

Tucking the device back in her pocket, she took a deep breath, heading across the campus grounds and towards Sunwoo’s table.

He hadn’t seen her yet, and as she got closer, she spotted the white of his headphones in his ears, blocking out the world as always- the only way he could concentrate, Hayley knew.

It wasn’t until she was passing the table right beside his own that Sunwoo noticed the movement, lifting his head in surprise, eyes meeting her own-

Hayley’s stomach flipped, insides tightening with her nerves, the familiarity of him pulling on her heart strings as she got closer, stopping at the bench across from him.

Sunwoo stared, eyes round, slowly pulling his headphones from his ears, gaze wandering along the features of her face.

“Hayls.”

His nickname for her slipped from his lips like a habit.

“Sunwoo.”

Her voice was tight with emotion, and for a moment, their eyes lingered, so much left unsaid…

“I… came to give you this.”

Hayley stretched her arm across the table, the notebook paper still trembling in her hand, and Sunwoo eyed it before taking the note slowly. He glanced at it for only a moment before looking up at her.

“What is this?” he asked quietly.

But Hayley was already shoving her shaky hands into the pockets of her jeans, taking a couple steps back.

“Just… read it.”

And with one more second of meaningful eye contact, Hayley tore her eyes from his, turning on her heel and walking away.

Biting her lip, she fought the anxious ache in her chest, hoping Sunwoo would read what she’d written.

Hoping he’d give them another chance.

Please don’t make me choose.