#but yeah those two with their weird weaknesses is just murdering me

[newnevermind-sanity]

It's always those two getting slapped when I'm trying to preserve the MCs SP pool

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[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Movie Theaters

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

Alien: Why are you taking me to a dark place? Alien: Do you plan to murder me? Human: What? No! Alien: I thought we were friends, Human Jim. Human: I’m not going to- Alien: I will not go down so easily, Human Jim! Alien: *Begins sprinting away in opposite direction Human: *watches friend run away… Human: (Shouts) This was your idea you idiot! --------------------

Alien: So people come here to watch a moving picture? Human: We call them “Movies”. Alien: But then the same picture is only on these giant screens for a few of your rotations before it can be seen on your smaller screens? Human: Yes. Alien: So really you are just paying to see your “movie” on a bigger screen? Human: Yes. Alien: How does that make sense? Human: Some movies just need to be seen on bigger screen. Alien: *Phissh *Proceeds to watch “Return of the King” on movie screen. Alien: Sobbing I was wrong. Human: Damn right you were. --------------------

Human: Now remember, snack counters are where movie theaters really shiv you for money. Alien: It can’t be that bad. *At register after getting snacks Clerk: So that is one popcorn, one soda, and two boxes of candy which will total sixty seven credits. Alien: SIXTY SEVEN!?!?!? Alien: That’s nearly triple what we paid for tickets! Clerk: We also now offer organ harvesting options if you don’t have credits. Human: You can’t be- Human: *Sees alien friend lifting up shirt and cutting open stomach Human: You can’t be serious. Alien: Whispers It’s okay, I have thirteen livers and I only use six on any given day. -----------------

Alien: Where should we sit? Human: We could sit at the top; it’s more recluse and no people behind us but perverts tend to hangout up there. Alien: Wait��.what? Alien: Why would perverts go to a movie- Alien: *Realization Alien: Oh. Alien: OH. Alien: OH!!! Human: Yeah…… Human: Just be thankful we aren’t seeing a “My Little Pony” movie. Alien: Surely it can’t be that bad. Human: I once saw a group of ushers break out night sticks to shoo them out, and they didn’t leave until they “finished”. Alien: *Barfs. ---------------------

Alien: Why does the movie listing say it starts at a certain time but then must watch twenty minutes of ads for other movies before it even starts? Human: It’s a misdirect. Human: It gives people a chance to get snacks and then make it to the movie without missing anything. Alien: No wonder your species is weak. Alien: You cater to those who cannot manage their time properly. Human: Oh that’s not how we measure strength. Human: The real test is being able to control your bladder for three hours so you don’t miss a single thing. Alien: I will admit that is impressive. Human: My record is twelve hours. Alien: Why would you endure such pain? Human: When you watch the extended editions of LOTR nothing less is acceptable. --------------------

Alien & Human: *Patiently watching movie Annoying kids behind them: *Kicking chair Human: Whispers back Please stop. Annoying kids: *Continues kicking Human: Last warning, please stop. Annoying kids: *Snickers and continues kicking. Alien: Looks at human Now? Human: Nods They were warned. Alien: Roars and leaps back into children Annoying kids: Scream in terror as alien throws one of them into the screen. Alien: Looks at human friend as they are holding second child in air Are you sure this is acceptable? Human: *Points at surrounding audience cheering and clapping Human: Crowd justice has spoken. Alien: *Shrugs and flings remaining child into nearby wall. ----------------------

Alien: When is it acceptable to speak in a movie? Human: If a movie is terrible and the crowd’s commentary is more entertaining. Alien: You’ve seen this happen? Human: Oh yeah. Human: Last time it was for a movie about three masked killers hunting down some people in a trailer park. Human: We all ended up cheering for the killers as the lead’s acting was terrible. Human: When they actually died we started cheering; the person next to me started weeping tears of joy. --------------------

Alien: *Whispers to human Alien: That human next to you is recording the movie on their phone. Human: I noticed. Alien: Are you not going to do anything? Human: Not unless their phone brightness gets brighter. Alien: Do you not care for the movie industry? Human: No. Human: *Notices light get brighter Human: But I do care about my own time enjoying it. Human: *Proceeds to grab drink and pour it on phone human, triggering a massive fight which has him and his alien friend thrown out of theater.

[poggersbathwater]

vivziepop: this show is about criticising Christianity"

proceeds to: woobify sinners and make them overlords as a reward,for some reason all or most sinners (cannibals, rapists,murderers....etc) are queer,villainized Adam the first human (had nothing to do with Christianity at the time he got created and it's not his fault that god made him for a woman and just wanted peaceful life with her) who lost two women because of lucifer,made lucifer the good innocent guy (let's ignore that he is the main reason why humanity is suffering), "7 DEADLY SINS ARE GOOD FOR YOU ACTUALLY! LUST IS ABOUT CONSENT AND GLUTTONY ARE ABOUT SELF CONTROL,EXCEPT FOR GREED CAUSE THERE'S NO SUCH A THING AS A GOOD GREED CAUSE FUCK RICH!....btw please buy my Valentino cups! (I Wonder why 7 sins are deadly in a first place if they're caring and healthy according to viv)" "Wait.....are you telling me that stolas is a wise high ranking demon who give knowledge to those who summon him? Nonsense! Stolas is a horny softie who needs his imp slave to protect him! Screw accuracy! And you know what? I am making the rest of ars goetia and turn them into birds and had nothing to do with their demonology because I just need to use their names to make more characters"

(Yeah sorry about stolas accuracy part,it's just that I am tired of "not everything should be accurate" argument,that's like making thoth a Egyptian god of wisdom into a weak softie hypocrite character who is obsessed with sex and have nothing to do with his wisdom and knowledge,actually there's a lot of interesting things about thoth that makes him respected amongst gods and if viv wrote him he would be nothing but a joke character that have no personality outside of sex and victimhood mentally)

Alright lightning round here

Woobifying (idk what that means but i imagine it means glorification) sinners: I think the overlords are there to run businesses and industries in Hell, not to reward them exactly- but I do see the point you're making. The worse they are, the more power they have, which doesn't look too good for Hell's case.

Having most of the sinners be queer: Yeah I.. also get this one. It's weird how no fascists or.. well, generally bigoted people are there, but all the characters that ARE there happen to be queer. And I'm not saying queer people can't be bad, they can, but when there's more queer people than bigots in a place that's supposed to have the bad people... yeahhhhh no

Villainizing Adam: Yeah I hate how they turn Adam into a righteous douche- though it could make sense, since he did eat the fruit too (it probably changed his behavior a lot), turning him into a righteous douche who's bitter he lost his wife was.. kinda messed up.

The characterization of the sins: YEAH ACTUALLY THIS ONE SUCKS !! The whole point of Gluttony is that you just keep indulging without a care- the whole point of lust is that it's forced and it hurts people- if it wasn't about force, it'd be called love. Because consent is love. Force and betrayal (cheating/infidelity) is lust. The sins being characterized as good people takes away from why they are sins.

Stolas: Okay I don't know much about demon stuff, so I'll leave that alone (the ars goetia isn't talked about in Christianity so that's why I can't answer it), but I will say that stolas being the victim all the time is fucking ass. Yes, stolas has been forced into an arranged marriage. That sucks, it does. But that doesn't excuse any of his actions towards Blitzo, or his emotional unavailability towards Via.

I've never gotten this many asks Holy shit

[roadkillremi]

Randy Meeks x Ghostface!Fem!Reader and TOXIC!Poly!Ghostface x Ghostface!Fem!Reader

Part 1 Part 3 MasterList

Warnings : MINORS DNI Mentions Killing, Mentions plans on Killing, Language, Mentions Family Problems, Non consented kiss, Smut, Blow Job, Switch!Reader, Sub!Randy, fingering, Toxic Relationship. (If I missed any let me know please!)

I do NOT support toxic relationships like the one displayed or murdering. If this is happening to you or a loved one reach help ASAP!

Summary : Being childhood friends with Billy Loomis wasn't always easy. As you got older he demanded revenge and that you helped him. (He may have manipulated you along the way). After helping kill Sydney's mother you refused to help anymore. Billy and Stu forced you to stay due to blackmail causing you to be in a toxic secret relationship.

You put your duffle bag in the corner of Tatum's room. Dewey had brought you a sleeping bag and pillow which was curled up near Sydney's temporary bed.

"Isn't this fun!" Tatum smiled.

"I mean under bad circumstances but super fun!" She sat on her bed watching you put your stuff aside. You smiled at her, "Yeah we should do this more often!". Sydney walked in holding a book bag one for school and one for clothes. She sat on the bed and smiled softly.

"We don't have to go to Stus dumb party, Tomorrow do we?" You asked looking at the two girls.

"Uh, of course we do! It'll be fun! Plus maybe you'll finally take Randy's virginity!" Tatum joked. You rolled your eyes and smiled, "there's nothing wrong with waiting, Tatum". Sydney looked over at you, "why are you waiting?". You sighed and sat on the floor between the girls.

"I never told him I'm not a virgin. I think that'll upset him..it's stupid." You lied.

You've gotten pretty good at that lately.

"Wait you'd you lose your virginity to?!" Tatum bounced on the mattress. You smirked, "Some guy. It's when I was visiting my dad. He was cool I guess.".

Another lie. It was Billy.

Dewey came into the room, "hey uh, we gotta go to the station." Tatum rolled her eyes before getting up.

You sat on the cold metal chair next to Tatum.

"I was with Randy the night of Casey's death. He closed up around 9:30 he was my ride home." You stared into the sheriff's eyes. Your dad had a bad reputation in the past and it seemed the cops believe it carried down.

"We have to ask it's nothing personal." Dewey said with a small smile. You nodded, "is that all?!" Tatum said staring at the two officers. You both left to go sit by Sydney.

"I'm gonna call Randy real quick" you said as you got up. You asked to use a phone and they lead you to a desk where there wasn't much people. You dialed the video stores number hoping Randy would answer.

"Bradley Video, this is Randy speaking"

"Randy.." your voice came out tired and weak.

"Baby? What's up?" He sounded concerned.

"I'm at the police station and I got questioned. They mentioned my dad since y'know.."

"Those asshats.. Do I need to get you?"

"No, I'm staying at Tatum's. I just wanted to update you. How's work? Any new suspects?" You asked trying to lighten the mood.

"No, but don't you think it's weird it's near Sydney's Moms death anniversary..". Your stomach dropped, you noticed and it wasn't an accident.

"Yeah, you think it's like a Requal or Franchise?" You asked twirling the cord with your fingers.

"No, clue. Anyway I gotta get back to work before they try to fire me again. Bye, love youuu"

"Love you too, Geek." You hung up the phone and walked back to the girls. Tatum was explaining how the cops assumed the worse of you due to your father.

"The nerve. Her dad just had a habit of stealing and the town goes wild." Tatum complained. You smiled interrupting the conversation, "don't worry about it. I'm used to it." You sat by Sydney, "need anything?". She shook her head no, you looked at her.

"I really think we shouldn't go to that party."

"What?! Why?! You think Stu's the killer!!" Tatum practically yelled.

"No! I'm just saying a big group of teenagers its bound to draw attention." You said trying to ease Tatum. She bit her bottom lip, "Come on, it'll be fun".

"Tatum's right. It'll be fun." Sydney said softly. You sighed, Billy was escorted into the integration room.

"Sydney!" He yelled. You rolled your eyes and flipped him off as he walked by. Tatum sighed checking the clock on the wall.

"Can we go, Dewey!" She yelled. Dewey sighed looking around before nodding. You all squeezed past the mob of news reporters and cameras. Gale somehow pushed her way to Sydney and held a microphone to her mouth. It was too loud to catch what Gale was saying. You were busying panicking and looking for an escape. Then Gale was practically on the sidewalk, Sydney put her fist down. All four of you ran to Dewey's car before heading back to Tatum's house.

You laid in your sleeping bag worrying about Randy. All Stu had to do was get the idea and kill him. You sat up, "Can I use your phone?".

"Randy's fine, honey. I promise." Tatum smiled before tossing one of her stuffed bears in the air. You sighed before laying back down. He'd call you if anything went wrong. His sister would tell you if he got home late and would ask if he was with you, right? You tried to close your eyes ignore the girls conversation.

"Sydney there's someone on the phone for you." Tatum's mom stood in the doorway. You looked over and watched Sydney walk away moments before her scream. You stumbled out of the sleeping bag.

Sydney was in tears clinging to the phone, Tatum's mom was telling trying to get Dewey's attention. Once he came out from his room the caller hung up. You looked at Sydney before she went into the room hiding under her covers. You sighed looking at the ground. Tatum went to comfort Sydney, "may I use your phone?" You looked at Tatum's mom. She nodded following Dewey downstairs. You dialed Randy's house phone, it continued to ring.

"come on jackass." You whispered. His mom picked up in a bit of a tired tone.

"Mrs.Meeks hi! It's uh... It's Randy's Girlfriend. I need to speak to him it's important."

She mumbled an okay, moments later Randy was on the phone.

"What's up?" He grumbled softly.

"Sydney just got a call from the killer.." you kept your voice low. You heard shuffling, "Do I need to get you? Are you safe?". You bit your bottom lip, "I feel bad if I leave.".

"It doesn't matter. Are you safe or not?" You went silent again. Tears pooled in your eyes, not from fear from guilt.

"Can you get me?" You asked sheepishly.

"Yeah give me a minute." His cranky voice left the phone leaving you in the hall. You looked in Tatum's room, "Um, my Aunt's gonna get me, she's worried.". Another lie, your Aunt was probably hooking up with some guy. The girls nodded before continuing the conversation. You packed up your things and said goodbye and waiting by the front door looking out the window.

Once Randy's car appear you quickly walked outside. The cold breeze making your legs feel numb. You were in pajama shorts and a giant Carrie Tee Randy gifted you. You put your stuff in the back seat before hoping in the passenger seat.

"Thank you." You smiled softly. He smiled lazily, his eyes coated with sleep. He was in his pajamas too, his hands lazily grasping the wheel.

"Sorry I woke you and your mom up.." you whispered.

"It's fine. Shes too old to remember that it happened."

You gently placed your hand on his thigh. You observed him while he drove to his place.

"Darling, you gotta stop starin' " he joked in that damn British accent. You smiled, "but you're so pretty..". Randys face turned a soft pink, you smiled at him.

Pretty wasn't a normal word for men. But Randy loved it, he loved being called your pretty boy. You treasured him a bit too much Tatum would tell you. Now you're just afraid of losing him.

"Randy, I need to tell you something.."

"What is it?"

"You can't freak out.. or tell anyone."

"okay..." He parked into the driveway turning the car off.

"Sydney's mom slept with my dad. My parents spilt obviously. That's why I live with my aunt." Randy just stared at you.

"I'm not a suspect." You add in a harsh tone.

"Says any suspect." He smiled. He didn't look weirded out just confused.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Because Billy made you feel like a freak.

"I was ashamed."

"I mean, I wouldn't mention it to Sydney she might freak out. But I'm not gonna humiliate you and pour pigs blood all over you." He smiled referencing your T-shirt.

He gently kissed you before getting out the car. You grabbed your bags quietly walking into the house. You placed your stuff by the left side of his bed before climbing in. Randy flopped on the bed groaning.

This could be the last time you see him. You moved closer to him fiddling with the waist band of his pajama pants. He groaned looking over at you.

"Randy... can I?.." you bit your lip before finishing the sentence. You were scared it was your only chance before tomorrow. He just stared at you, drowsiness taking over, "I wanna.. blow you.." you whispered. Both of your faces covered in pinks and reds. He nodded watching you gently pull down his pants.

You knew you had to do this before he died. You needed to show him how much you love him. You cupped his member which was held back in his boxers. He whined softly fluttering his eyes closed. A gentle squeeze before pulling his boxers down. His member sprung up, precum already leaking from the tip.

"Baby.." you cooed at him. He just whined waiting for you to do what you asked. He was bigger than you expected, you spat in your hand before stroking him. He breathed heavily, his virgin body trying to take it all. He gripped the sheets fucking himself into your hand.

"Randy... You're so cute like this.. all pathetic and needy.." you whispered. He moaned in response, you licked a stripe up his needy cock before taking him in your mouth.

His moans grew a bit louder, his hand touched your hair before leaving it. He wasn't sure what to do but he liked it. Your head bobbing up and down on him. He knew this would be great but not heavenly. Your tongue did wonders around him while your hand caressed his balls. He bit his lip trying not to come undone so quickly.

"I'm... I'm.." he tried to speak but breathy moans would escape.

"I'm gonna cum.." he whined. You lifted your head up replacing your mouth with your hand.

"Do you wanna come in my mouth?" You asked softly. He nodded quickly trying to hold back. You out your mouth back to work downing him faster as he fucked into your mouth. Randy arched his back a bit before letting out a soft cry. His seed was inside your mouth, you swallowed taking rushed breaths.

"I'm gonna die now.." He whispersd with a goofy smile on his face. You smiled at him before crawling back up to him. You took his clammy hand and slid it up your shirt. Randy watched in disbelief, you lead his hand to your breast. He gently squeezed it smiling at you.

"Can I hold them when I try to sleep?"

You smiled nodding, his thumb went over your nipple releasing a breathy moan from you. You laid down beside him letting his spoon you so he had access. He held onto your chest gently squeezing them. Your core was uncomfortable due to the lack of attention. You softly humped the blanket searching for a release. Randy dug his face into your neck letting out a smirk.

"We're breaking the rules.." he whispered. You whined knowing he was watching you try to find a release. Your hand softly rubbing through your shorts.

"Randy..." You whined, his hand slide down in between your legs. He wasn't sure he was doing but he tried. He put his hand through your underwear softly touching your soaked folds. You softly moaned, "Randy please...". He prayed he was doing the correct thing puting his finger in your hole. You back softly arched, he smiled knowing he was right. He left sloppy kisses on your neck. His thumb gently rubbed your clit as he fingered you.

"H-how... Do.. you know.. how to.." you moaned and whined in between words. He continued gaining another boner which was pressed against your ass.

"Porn tapes" he whispered, you went silent with your moaning. He got scared you were mad, "I wanted to pleasure you correctly..". You smiled to yourself, "keep going, Randy..". He smiled and continued to finger you, he learned to use two fingers and curl them up. He listened to your moans, they got more frequent when you were close. You bit your lip, his fingers pumped in and out of you quickly. Randy softly moaned as you tightened around him. Your framed stiffened and body arched as you came. Randy watched in amazement of the scene. He slowly took his fingers out licking them off. He groaned at the taste, you smiled and curled up to him.

"Did you like it?" You asked. Randy nodded aggressively, "Yes!". He gave you a giant sloppy kiss before passing out on the bed.

School was painful to get through knowing the party was soon. You tried to talk Randy out of going but he insisted on going also. Billy was back in class and eyed you every chance he got. When he got the chance he pulled you into a janitors closet pinning you against the wall.

"Thought your stunt was funny last night, huh?" He tilted his head.

"Billy grow up-" you glared trying to escape him. His grip was too strong and he didn't move a muscle.

"tonights the night." He whispered.

"you know the plan?" He added watching you avoid him. You nodded, he grabbed your chin making you look at him.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Scared about your little boy toy?" He smiled.

"He fucked me last night. And it felt great. Better than you actually." He chuckled in response.

"Randy? You've gotta be joking! Guy couldn't find the clit if he tried."

"Oh but he did." Your eyes narrowed. Billy's demeanor darken, he aggressively kissed you trying to reclaim you. You squirmed pushing him back, "You asshole." You whispered.

"Watch it. All I have to do is tell Randy how much of a bad girl you are and it's over." He said with a sly smile. Your eyes drooped before you nodded.

"Watch your damn tone too. Before I fuck it out of you." He left the closet slamming the door. You stood in the dark waiting to leave.

Once you felt confident enough to leave you walked into the hall. You went to your history class a couple minutes late.

"Glad you could join us." Your teacher sighed before continuing. You sat behind Randy, he turned around.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, Billy's being a dick so watch out."

He nodded turning his attention towards the board.you would sometimes mess with his hair or shirt. You tried to distract yourself from the growing guilt in your stomach.

[zeltqz]

Ran pickpockets you to win you over 💀 hes stupid ik

smut | 3.6k words

You were cleaning tables when you had your phone in your jeans’ pocket. 

Two customers remained seated inside the restaurant, finishing up their meals. Both of them looked around the same age, and if it wasn’t for the fact they were seated on different sides of the restaurant, you would’ve assumed they were friends.

They barely even touched their meal, but your job was to clean the restaurant, not to worry about the odd customers.

The next thing you know, you felt someone bump into you from behind; and you were too apologetic to even notice how your phone magically disappeared from your back pocket. The man excused all your concerns with “It’s fine, don’t worry,” sending you a smile which at the moment had you heart pulsing twice as hard. 

You watch the two of them exit the store at the same time, not taking your eyes off the breathtaking gentleman from the glass windows. It wasn’t until you watched his friend snicker and you watched braidboy pull out a phone—with a case that looked exactly like yours—out from his pocket.

It took you a moment, hands ghosting around your back pocket, onto to be met with your ass instead of the hard block phone you left in there. “Those motherfuckers.” You instantly dropped the table cleaning supplies onto the floor and ran outside the restaurant to try catch up with them but it was no use when they hopped on a motorcycle and drove off before you even had the chance to chase them. 

You didn’t need your phone that much, only using it for calls and texts. Not like you were addicted to it, so you weren’t that upset about it. But it was the principle of it. Stealing a phone? Lame.

You described the man to your friend when you got home that night and she said he sounds familiar, pulling out a photo of her boyfriend chilling with the same two men you saw in the restaurant. “That’s him!” You point to him at the back of the photo and have murder on your mind knowing that you finally know his name.

You could go to the police with his name, age and face; but you realised that the police are pretty much useless and won’t be able to do shit without evidence he stole your phone.

Mina was going to sleepover at hre boyfriend's house, which is why she offered you to come also, so you could meet the man and ask for your phone back.

You make eye contact with Ran from across the room, narrowing your gaze in his direction while fighting the urge to strangle him to death. The entire time your friend was introducing you to her boyfriend, your eyes were elsewhere. You weren’t normally this unattentive, but you had to figure out how to get your phone back, or if he still has it in his possession.

It had been a week since the incident, so he could’ve sold it easily by now.

“Sorry, I’ll be right back.” You stand up from the couch, heading straight for the back of the room by the kitchen. Tapping on his shoulder, he stops talking and turns his head to the side to peek at you over his shoulder.

“Yes?”

“Where is my phone?” 

He laughs, the sound rich and carefree. It does something weird to your stomach because your breathing stops for a second before picking back up, but the rhythm was off. “You’re the one from the restaurant right?” His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip and you shamelessly watched the action, almost forgetting the reason why you were here.

“Uh, yeah. I am.” You snap out of that little…whatever that was. A short moment of weakness that should never be brought up again. “Where’s my phone.” You don’t state it as a question, instead more of a statement, demanding for him to hand it to you.

Reaching inside his pocket, he pulls out your phone and your heart beat slows down at the realisation that he didn’t sell it or destroy it. Just as you’re about to grab it, he dodges your hand, lifting the device above his head. The unpleasant scowl is back on your hands, not amused by his antics one bit. “Give it.”

“Answer something for me first.”

“No.”

He smiles, biting his bottom lip before nodding and you see him put the phone back in his pocket. “Oh well, then.”

“No, wait—” You sigh, annoyed at yourself for playing into his stupid antics. “What is your question?”

“What’s your name?”

He snickers when you deadpan at him, a slow rise of his brow as he coaxes you into telling him. You think of a way to remark at him sneakily without giving him your information. You don’t trust him, one bit. “Thought you would’ve known that by now, after all, you probably snooped through my phone.”

He shrugs his shoulders, but the smirk on his face has your stomach sinking the ground. He didn’t technically deny it… “Wait, did you actually snoop—”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t see your nudes.” He winks at you, slow and steady and you almost want to faint. He most definitely saw them. A boisterous laugh leaves his mouth and your face drains of colour. “I was just kidding about that whole nude shit, but holy shit, you actually have some on here?”

“No! I don’t—ugh, why am I even explaining myself to you? Give me my phone!” You try to reach inside his back pocket to grab it back but he’s quicker, taking a step back to create some distance between you two. 

“Hey, hey now, just calm down. I gotta do something first.” 

You roll your eyes but decide not to argue. He unlocks your phone as if it was his own and his fingers start shifting against some buttons on your tiny phone. You have zero clue what he’s doing but after a short moment, he hands it back to you. “What did you do to it?” You inspect the phone once its back in your hands, checking if everything was in place etc.

“Just added my number.” Another wink in your direction has you rolling your eyes once more. 

“Yeah? What did you save it as?” You ask him, fingers scrolling to your contacts button.

“Why? Wanna know my name that badly so you can call me when u get home?” 

You look up at him, wanting to wipe that stupid cocky smirk off his face. “No, actually, I just wanna know what you saved it under so I can delete it.” You could almost laugh as his smirk drops, now replaced with a straight line as he looks at you like you’ve done him dirty.

There’s a pause, the silence of the both of you staring—actually, no—glaring at each other. Your glare out of disgust and the sheer audacity of his actions and his own out of—well to be fair, you aren’t really sure why he’s staring down at you like that. After a couple more seconds, he smiles, nodding his head before backing away from where leaned against the counter.

Somebody that sounds suspiciously like Mina laughs loudly to your side as she watches Ran head towards the living room. “That was intense.” 

“Yeah, whatever.” You look down at your phone in your hand with disinterest before stuffing it inside your inner coat pockets.

(You now noted to never leave personal belongings inside your back pockets).

Later that night, you were scrolling on your phone, checking to see if your boss had responded to your text message about having tomorrow off when you see a new contact in your message list online.

The contact was just saved as a heart and you immediately knew who the culprit was. Your fingers moved to delete it, but before you could, it was like you hesitated almost. 

You shoved your phone across your bed, grabbing your bag seated on the arm of your chair across your room. As you dug through it, you realised something was missing.

Your fucking wallet .

“That motherfuck—” You closed your eyes, physcially trying to calm yourself down before you calmly walk over to your bed, reaching for your phone in the corner. 

Fingers moving slowly as you tried to remain as calm as possible, not wanting another outburst, you clicked on his icon and began typing out a message. 

As if he saw you typing, his fingers were faster, typing out a message and sent it before you even had the chance to finish your own sentence.

<3: why r u up so late?

The actual fucking audacity—

You: why do u keep stealing my shit?

<3: to get ur attention obviously

You: or maybe talk to a girl like a regular functional fucking human being instead of stealing her stuff?

<3: do u want ur wallet back or not

You: yes.

<3: come over

You: are u insane? I dont even know u, why would i come to ur house?

<3: then come to the get together tmrw, i’ll give it back

<3: wear something cute too;)

You: im blocking u until tmrw

You ignore the continuous buzzing on your phone in favour of turning your phone off. You just want to sleep and get tomorrow over it, get your wallet back and his this pickpocketing jerk out of your life.

When tomorrow comes, you make sure to have nothing else in your pockets. You’re not even bringing your house keys, not wanting to take the risk. Your best friend Mina will be at home all day so it won’t matter much. 

You arrive at his house in the afternoon, around three-ish and ring on his doorbell. When nobody answers for around thirty seconds, you ring it again, and again, and again and—

He answers the door with an annoyed groan, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms as if he’d just woken up. “Do you know what the time is?”

“Yeah? It’s 4PM.” You blink, hazy and confused as if he’s acting like you had just rang his doorbell at 4AM instead. 

A shorter boy comes up from behind Ran, hitting the back of his neck to wake him fully. “Ignore my nocturnal brother, he’s weird. The earliest he wakes up is 6PM.”

You eye him, finding it almost amusing how he has to blink himself awake. “Anyway, I’m just here for my wallet.”

“Your wallet?” His brother questions, nudging his brother in the stomach hard to fully wake him up. 

“Your shitty brother stole it from me.”

“‘M not shitty, shut up.” Ran rubs his forehead, stepping out of the way to allow you entry inside the house. The first thing you notice about the household is that it’s big, like the hallway leading to the living room is probably bigger than your kitchen. Then the living room is definitely the side of your bedroom if it was placed next to each other four times. 

“Your wallet is in my room, c’mon.” He grabs onto your hand without thinking, and surprisingly enough, you don’t shove him off or away from you, instead just letting him lead you away into his room.

You take a seat on the bed and watch him dig through his dresser, tossing your wallet in your direction when he finds it.

“Thank you.” You stand up almost instantly, ready to head back home now that you’ve gotten what you came here for. 

“W-wait wait,” he crosses the room quickly, placing his hands on your shoulders and pushing you back to sit on the bed, “don’t go yet.”

“What? I want to go home—”

“We ordered pizza, can you stay for that?”

“I can afford my own pizza, thank you.” You’re about to sit down again before he’s pushing you back on the bed. “Ran, what do you want? Let me g—”

He leans forward without thinking, not stopping till his forehead is pressed against your own. “...What are you doing?” You try to sound as stern as possible, but instead your voice comes out breathless and shaky, trying to keep yourself together. 

His eyes linger along the swell of your bottom lip, flicking them up to your eyes. He can hear how your breathing stutters, how hard you’re trying to control your breathing patterns under his stare. “Can I?” He asks, pressing his fingers at your lower back a little firmer.

You honestly feel like your voice would crack if you spoke to him right now. Instead you slowly nod your head before you could even realise what you were saying yes to. 

You  melt against him, clinging to the front of his shirt to tug him forward, trying to feel as much of his lips as possible. His hand shifts from your lower back, cupping onto your chin to control the kiss the way he wants.

He’s shifting forward, your back hitting the mattress with a soft thud as he hovers over you, palms flat on the bed just beside your head. 

“I still hate you, by the way.” You clarify despite tugging on the strings of his pyjama bottoms, eager to get them off.

“You and I both know that’s a lie.” He moans when you cup his crotch with your hands, gently running your fingers along his length. 

“It’s true—” You hiss when he leans down to bite your neck, sucking a little harder when you run your hands up his back, eliciting a shiver down his spine. “I strongly dislike you.”

He hums against the skin of your neck, darting his tongue out to lick up the column of your throat, wetting your jawline on the journey up to your lips. He sucks and bites on the flesh before sliding his tongue into your mouth.

What are you doing? Your brain repeats over and over again in an attempt to get you to snap out of it and go back home. Instead, you let him run his hands down your body, stopping directly at the zipper of your jeans.

He breaks the kiss to sit up on his bed, pulling you along with him. He’s about to open his mouth to say something, but you slap a hand over it. “Stop talking, before I regret this.”

“Yes ma’am,” he mutters from beneath your hand, watching as you tug his pants down to his ankles. Your hands grab onto his face, pulling him closer to your lips in a heated kiss. “Take this off,” he whispers against your bottom lip, looking up at you hazily.

You peck him one last time before sliding back down on his lap to give yourself enough room to remove your shirt, tugging your bra off in the process.

“So fuckin’ sexy.” His thumbs graze along the underside of your breasts, holding them as if they’re delicate. His fingers slide up to your nipples, gently pressing  down on them and watching your hips squirm on his lap in the process. “You’re pretty sensitive, aren’t you?”

“Well, I am a vi—shit—” Your hands fly to his head, holding it in place as he sucks a breast into his mouth. His mouth feels hot on your nipple, groaning when you tug on his hair as his tongue slides patterns along your breast. 

His hands grip onto your hips to stop them from squirming, slowly bouncing you up and down on his lap just to hear more moans come out your mouth.

“You’re a what?” He moves to your mother tit, stimulating you in just the right ways, tickling his tongue against your nipple.

“I’m a virgin.” You can physically feel him freeze up underneath you, even his tongue stops. He pulls off your breast with a pop, bouncing you on his lap once more  before he’s looking up at you with a raised brow.

“You serious?”

“I—uh, yeah? I’m sure?” 

“Are you sure you wanna do this? I mean—”

“I’m not sure.” You slide off his lap, back onto the bed, covering your chest with the fabric of your bra, suddenly being fully aware about being exposed in front of him like this. “I just want my first time to be something special, you know? Not after I got my wallet back from the guy that stole from me.”

“How about this?” Ran is back on top of you in record time, pinning you down underneath him. He pecks your cheek, “Let me take you out on a date this weekend.” He pecks the other cheek and you close your eyes when you feel him pepper kisses all over your face.

“Let me take care of you.” 

“On one condition,” he’s just about to kiss you again when you hold up a finger to his face, “you gotta stop with the whole stealing people’s wallets and phones thing.”

He drops his face down to your neck and laughs. You feel a wet, suction on your skin, blood rushing to the surface. Your hips rise up to meet his body and he grinds down to meet you halfway.

He’s making you feel so good, you’re so willing to fuck him right here and now. 

But you won’t.

“I’ll stop.” He murmurs agaisnt your skin, pulling away to rest his forehead against yours. “I won’t do it anymore.”

“Why do you do it anyway? You seem rich enough,” you break eye contact and look around his bedroom, which is huge by the way. 

He sighs and rolls off you, laying down next to you in the bed. You follow suit, shifting on your side to get a better look at him. “I dunno, stealing is just fun? I used to do it when I was younger, so when I’m bored I just do it.”

“You’ll stop, right?” 

“If you can make me, yeah.” He leans forward, his nose brushing against yours, ready to kiss you, but kisses your palm instead as you block it. 

“Promise me, Ran. I don’t want you getting arrested too.”

“That’s what you’re worried about? I’ll be fine.”

“Ran. I’ll only go out with you if you promise.” 

He looks distracted, eyes wandering somewhere downwards. You look down and see he is in fact distracted, by your boobs. “Ran!” You cover yourself with the blanket, shoving it all from his end of the bed to your own. 

“Okay, I promise, I’ll stop. Come here.” He gestures for you to move forward. You oblige, moving forward till your head rests on the pillow beside his head. He wraps his arms around your body, holding you close and pressing a kiss on your head. “Will you stay tonight?”

“Do you want me to?” 

“...Yeah.”

“Maybe another night, I have work tonight.”

“Orrrr, you could ditch work and instead go out with me tonight. We can go anywhere.”

“Okay,” you close your eyes and lean further into the warmth emitting from his body.

[cephalotyrant]

Hiiiiiiiiii so. Azurido bodyswap.

Think about it; these two housewardens who constantly seem to be bickering, and then one day during a joint alchemy class they accidentally swap bodies...

Azul trying to run heartslabyul and hastily memorizing all the queens' rules; speaking of i had a sudden thought do you think azul would learn the rules for riddle after they start dating so he can easily come over to heartslabyul and follow all the rules teehee anyways back on topic Azul is mentioned to have less magic capacity so im imagining him being like "okay yeah this kid's currently on a murderous rampage buuuut do I REALLY need off with your head rn why can't i just assert my dominance with words or some shit works with floyd" (i'l never forget that time azul made floyd kneel as punishment... sad moment)

And then Riddle... bless his heart he's too much of a reasonable honest person for octavinelle's bs he's like "stop scamming students" and they're like "um ACKSHUALLY you see the free market and blah blah blah-" Riddle can't behead them anymore because azul doesn't have that power (loser) so he's just like -_- waiting for them to stop talking please oh please what he wouldn't do for them to shut the fuck up-

also weird thought riddle out of instinct trying to cast owyh and then accidentally activating the true form of it's a deal and just... knocking a bunch of guys out cold. and his glasses. he hates them bc they keep getting foggy.

speaking of glasses azul keeps trying to push them up except they dont exist fuckin L hah hah everybody point and laugh

and riddle's high heels... azul falls over (point and laugh part 2)

anyways getting a bit more serious I do feel like azul and riddle do have more similarities in leadership style (like how azul's canonically very irritable with octavinelle students and ortho mentions it's actually quite rare to see him in a good mood just like riddle) so... poor heartslabyul guys aren't catching a break just yet. Except instead of being collared it's just like "shut the fuck up travis this is why you're poor" "3.8 gpa santocruz??? I think you mean 1.8 because those tabloids could only be written by a FUCKING IDIOT" (i'm joking PLEASE DONT KILL ME I MERELY JEST besides we all know azul probably tries to seem uber classy so he wouldn't swear)

meanwhile octavinelle students have never seen such rage... even more scarily... HONESTY AND STRAIGHTFORWARDNESS (an octavinelle student's worst nightmare)

Anyways Riddle and tweel interactions here are just so funny if this is before floyd realizes the truth because it's like

"Lemme squeeze you, goldfishie!"

"Riddle" has NO REACTION. ICE COLD.

And then "Azul" waltzes in and is like "Floyd why how could you do this that is highly improper!!!!!!!"

Ofc "Riddle's" like "so i owe you now" bc azul wants riddle in his debt lmaooo

Azul keeps trying to find riddle's weakness... but it goes wrong...

Short scene:

Azul gazed into the mirror of Heartslabyul's bathroom, looking at every new detail at this new face of his. Riddle's face. He was looking for weaknesses. Yes, weaknesses, as dastardly as it seemed.

Like - how those soft, sun-kissed cheeks were likely sensitive to light, and how those gorgeous little heart-shaped tufts of hair often added to Riddle's poutiness, and-

Wait, why was Riddle's face growing redder in the mirror all of a sudden?

Womp womp azul you're gay for him

Anyways they turn back and it all gets found out blah blah... Azul saying the most down-bad shit when he thinks no one can hear like "riddle-san looks even prettier from up close" jade and floyd overhear his little mumble he never leaves it down...

and riddle... is hyperfixating over azul's moles. he knew about the one on his chin but there's MORE??? On The neck? The COLLARBONE??? He never undressed (neither did azul bc they were swapped for a pretty short time so it was pretty easy not to as just... yk a respect/consent thing) but while adjusting his tie and stuff he noticed. He is now freaking out over it to Trey. Why does he care??? When can he sign up to kiss them??? More on seven.

OOOOOOAAAAAGHHHHHH BARK BARK BARK BARK GRRR MOEWWW HISSS CRASH BOOM MY LEG!!!

Memorizing the rules would be a DAUNTING ass task bro. But Azul is up to it and I bet he memorized them just for fun at one point so he could find all the loopholes (and rub them in riddles face) funnily enough, Heartslabyul is confuse because it seems like Riddle has gotten... sharper? Some clock him immediately as wrong (ADTC)-- Riddle often stands stiffly and probably has a resting bitch face, let's be real. but now the way he stands is almost looser, more fluid, his body more expressive, flexing his hands. In his attempt to follow the rules, Azul IMMEDIATELY calls out someone using a loophole. But for today, he'll let it slide-- but I better not catch you doing that again, else there will be consequences. (He means Jade and Floyd it was on instinct) Even the way he SPEAKS is different, and why is he talking about himself so much? Don't get started on the moment Azul is mentioned-- why is he suddenly avoiding speaking any bad about Azul Ashengrotto? They were at each other's throats just this morning!

He feels weirdly frail. Not only does he lack his octo-stength, he has to look up at absoloutely everyone! And these heels are ridiculous! Of course, he's heard all about Riddle boasting that the dorm uniform being a replica of the first housewarden of Heartslabyul, but he could have omitted SOME details. The way everyone straightens their back when they hear the clacking of his heels, though... that's quite nice. It's hard not to powertrip.

I'm not going to get into it I'm not going to get into it I'm not-- FUCK. He can't help but be envious of the complete lack of fat on Riddle's body, the way his uniform cinched his waist just right. Perhaps there were some benefits of being so small... And there's a constant dull ache in his dominant hand. Seriously, for someone raised for a future in medicine, he doesn't appear to be taking care of himself very well! Maybe he'll snoop about the room for a diary, finding a drawer full of letters from a very particular woman-- and leave the investigation there. Funnily enough, it fills him with the urge to write his own letter to his own mother... he hasn't spoken to her in a while.

At least the bed is fantastic? Let's just hope Trey doesn't walk in while he's giggling and wrapping himself up burrito-style into the blankets.

Azul (Riddle) back at Octavinelle seems like he's one moment away from a STROKE. So much so that every few moments red rings swirl in his eyes-- his last straw being the fourth pencil he breaks in a row. Since when has Azul been this strong!? Does his dishonest nature extend to taking steroids?? He's going to have a VERY long talk with him later! His glasses keep getting smudged and sliding down his nose, and Azul's layered clothing was so ridiculously heavy-- being of average height is kind of nice, though.

Jade and Floyd clock him as NOT AZUL right away I fear... though it is a little funny to watch Azul's body throw a tantrum and stomp his feet. They freak out, however, when Riddle realizes he has the strength to preperly defend himself... not good. If he can't behead them, he can go physical. Really, he's not fit at all to run Mostro or do deals atp... but Jade and Floyd think it'd be funny if he fucked some up. He's rather impressed by how such a busy establishment runs so smoothly, and the employees, namely, the waiters, are rather polite. They stand straight and speak clearly... Azul’s done quite well.

THE MOLES ARGH...

—

Finally. A respite from the endless things that needed his attention– as the housewarden of Heartslabyul, he was used to tending issues left and right, but this experience, being trapped in Azul’s body, had stretched his patience thin. Azul, truly, had his fingers in far too many pies.

Discarding anything the Octavinelle housewarden wore on the regular would have been improper, though it certainly didn’t prevent him from complaining about it. The layers of the dorm uniform were oppressive, to put it lightly– even his cape, for how it dragged across the ground, wasn’t nearly as heavy. The cummerbund was too tight to be considered remotely comfortable. He abandons it on the chair in front of the vanity.

He tugs on silky purple fabric to undo the bowtie, the thing having gone crooked, most likely from when he undid the suspenders or pulled off the jacket. It’s always satisfying to allow one’s neck to breathe at the end of the day–

Eh?

Right there, not too far from under the collar, is a culmination of small dark spots. Three, in fact. And just when he peels back the collar to get a better look at them, there’s another one, right there, on his collarbone!

Experimentally, he runs a finger over them. They’re just spots of pigment… so why do they make his breath hitch and his face warm so?

The door beside the vanity swings open without warning, causing him to jump and squeeze the collar shut in alarm, crumpling the, no doubt, expensive fabric. He curses, seeing one of two tall eel mermen at the door.

“Are you accustomed to coming in unannounced?”

Jade smiles, half concealing it with a hand. “Oh my. Look at you, you already sound so much like our dearly departed Azul.”

“D– dearly departed!? He’s in my body, not deceased!”

[hinatastinygiant]

7 | Lunar Gold

WARNING! SEXUAL CONTENT

Pairing: Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Pirate's Treasure Masterlist

You can hear his splashing behind you as he wades deeper into the water. He's so quiet that it's hard to believe he's there.

You finish washing yourself before you turn back around. When you do, he's already staring at you, a serious expression on his face.

"What?"

"I was going to ask you..." he trails off

"What?"

He stops, as if struggling with himself. "How old are you?"

"Twenty five," you reply, "but usually girls don't like it when guys ask them their age. Makes us feel old or something. I can't really explain it. It's just one of those things."

"I wasn't asking because of that," he says, shaking his head. "It's just... we're the same age."

"I know," you shrug. "We look about the same age, and I'd guess you're twenty five too. That's not so weird, is it?"

"It's not that. It's just that..."

"What?"

"You're pretty. I mean, I don't meet a lot of people, and... you're the first woman I've talked to in a long time."

You're not sure how to respond, so you just smile.

"Well, thank you," you say. "That's sweet of you."

After that, there's an awkward silence, and the two of you stand in the water, not saying a word. However, you slowly begin to wade back towards him.

"Um, Y/N," he finally says. "Do you like being an adventurer?"

"I do," you nod, surprised he wants to know. "It's not easy, and it's dangerous. But it's what I love doing. And I'm lucky to have a career that lets me do what I love."

"That's good," he says, smiling slightly.

"Do you like being a pirate?" you then ask him.

He pauses. "Sometimes," he admits.

"Oh."

"I like sailing. But I'm not really a fan of killing people."

"Really? But, aren't pirates supposed to be bloodthirsty, murderous, cutthroat scum of the sea," you smile, half joking.

"Ha, ha," he rolls his eyes, though the smirk on his face suggests he isn't really mad. "But yeah, I guess so. I mean, I'm not a good guy."

"Oh really?" you grin. "Cause from where I'm standing, you're kind of a badass. You saved my life, remember? And you seem like a decent guy."

"Not as much as you think," he says, looking away.

"I don't know," you shrug. "I'm not usually the type of person who judges people quickly. I like to give everyone a chance, you know? So, maybe I'm wrong about you, but I don't think so."

"Well, thanks," he mutters, blushing slightly.

"Besides, you gave me my freedom back, for the most part, and you didn't have to," you remind him, getting a bit closer still.

"I couldn't just leave you to die," he answers, stiffening up as you wander up beside him, still up to your shoulders in water.

A flicker of something unspoken passes between you. You find yourself drawn to his eyes, and you can't stop staring. He's so handsome, and yet, he doesn't seem to know it.

"Still, thanks," you say softly, a smile on your lips.

He just nods, looking a bit nervous. As you gaze at each other, the lines between prisoner and captor blur, and for a moment, it seems as if the world has stopped turning.

"Hey," he then calls out.

"Yeah?"

"This...this is probably a bad idea," he murmurs, "but I've been trapped here for so long... And you're so..."

"So, what?" you ask.

"Beautiful," he finishes, his voice barely a whisper.

Your heart skips a beat.

"I..."

Before either of you can say anything more, he closes the distance between the two of you and kisses you. The feeling of his soft lips on yours is enough to make your knees weak, and you instinctively kiss him back, your hands moving to his hair.

The kiss is deep and passionate, and for a moment, the rest of the world fades away. There's nothing except the two of you. It's a kiss full of desire and longing, and it makes you dizzy.

When the two of you finally pull away, the world comes rushing back in, and the realization of what just happened hits you.

"Shit," Bakugou says, backing away from you.

"What's wrong?"

"This... I mean, I'm sorry," he mutters, his cheeks a bright shade of red.

"Bakugou," you call out, trying to get his attention. "It's okay."

Bakugou, not needing to be told twice, kisses you again. This time, the kiss is softer, and more gentle.

It's not long before his hands move to your hips, and his touch sends shivers down your spine. You let out a small moan as his lips travel from your lips to your neck, and his fingers slide up your bare skin, tracing the curve of your body.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers against your neck, his breath hot on your skin.

You can't help but smile. You've never had anyone make you feel this way before.

As his lips explore every inch of your body, your hands move across his chest, your fingertips dancing over his skin.

You're not sure how long the two of you spend exploring each other's bodies, but it's enough for you to forget about the heat, the sun, and everything else in the world. All that matters is him and his touch.

You're lost in the sensation of his touch, his kiss, and his body pressed against yours. It's unlike anything you've ever experienced, and you never want it to end.

However, as soon as his hands wander lower, he pauses.

"Is this okay?" he asks.

You nod.

He hesitates.

"Bakugou," you groan. "Don't stop."

With a low growl, he kisses you once more, and the two of you sink deeper into the water.

As his hand moves between your thighs, you let out a small whimper, and your back arches in pleasure. You grip onto his back, pulling him closer, and you can feel him pressing against you.

"God, Bakugou," you gasp.

"Do you like that?" he growls, his voice thick with lust.

You can only nod.

His fingers work their magic on your clit, pumping in and out of you.

You moan and writhe beneath him, your hands clutching his hair, his back, his arms, anything you can reach.

"Bakugou," you moan. "Don't stop."

He leans down and captures your lips in a hungry kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth. You moan into his mouth, and your hips buck against his hand, desperate for release.

"Bakugou," you breathe.

"What is it, Y/N?"

"Please," you beg.

"Please, what?" he teases.

"Make me come," you say, your voice a desperate whine.

He smirks. "As you wish."

And with that, his fingers push deeper into you, finding the spot that drives you crazy.

You gasp and arch your back, and your eyes roll back as the waves of pleasure wash over you. You clutch his back and cry out, the feeling overwhelming you.

After a few moments, your body relaxes, and the world slowly comes back into focus.

"Bakugou," you whisper, gazing up at him with a dazed expression.

"Yeah?" he replies as he pulls away from you.

"Where the fuck did you learn how to do that?" you ask, a playful smirk on your lips.

"I told you. Those rich pricks come to the island. What the hell do you think they do with their time?" he rolls his eyes.

"And you watch them?!"

"Fuck, Y/N, what the hell am I supposed to do? I've been stranded here alone for years. They're the closest thing to entertainment I've got."

"Well, you definitely learned a few tricks," you chuckle.

Although Bakugou tries his best not to smile slip, it does.

"So, what now?" you ask.

"Time to get out of the water," he sighs. "We've got to keep looking for that damn spot on the map before that solstice day passes."

You sigh, disappointed. You thought he'd at least want to stay a little longer.

"I'm not complaining, though. I had fun," you say as you wade towards the shore. "But alright, let's get back to work."

Pirate's Treasure Masterlist

Taglist: @nemisimp @boopjuice @stevenknightmarc

[the-mxster]

Tensimm + Donna Incorrect quotes (pt3) with star-guest, Jack

Pt1 Pt2

Doctor: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.

Master, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.

Jack, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please.

Master: Coming right up.

Donna: How did you even get in here?

Jack: The Doctor’s window! Or, as I like to call it, "Jack’s door"!

Doctor: I’m closing the window.

Doctor: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.

Master: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

Jack : YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Donna: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

Master: I love you.

Doctor : I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.

*The Master and the Doctor kiss passionately*

Donna, to Jack: You owe me 20 dollars.

Master: Jack, you'll be working with Doctor and Donna.

Jack: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Jack: ...Of people on a team.

Donna : What is love?

Doctor: An emotional minefield.

Master: A neurochemical reaction.

Jack: Baby don't hurt me.

Donna: Time sensitive question how flirt girl.

Doctor : Throw rocks at she.

Jack: Hot Dogs.

Master: Kill her.

Donna: Thanks guys.

Jack: What do you want then?

Donna : Er… something work related.

Jack: What department is this?

Donna : Sorry?

Jack: Well, if it’s work related you’d obviously know what department this is. What department is this?

Donna : *looks at Doctor and Master* Some sort of homosexual department?

Doctor, teaching the Master to drive: Okay, you're driving and Donna and Jack walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Master: Oh, definitely Jack. I could never hurt Donna .

Doctor, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

Master: We need a way to lure in new customers?

Donna : Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!

Jack: Doctor bath water.

Doctor: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Donna: I'm bored.

Master: Wanna commit first degree murder?

Donna: Sure!

Doctor, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Jack down!!

Donna: Do you love the Doctor?

Master: Yeah, I do.

Donna: Jack! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Jack : We all love the Doctor. You should've asked if they were IN love with them.

Master: I thought that was implied.

Donna : ...

Jack: ...

Master, looking straight at Jack : Congrats Donna, you just won 100 bucks.

Doctor: I am convinced Jack and Donna share a brain cell.

Master: And it's not in use very often, it seems.

Donna: Jack is taking credit for Master's work, getting them to deal with everything, and making fun of them! You know what they sounds like?

Doctor: You?

Donna: No, I meant... You know Master. In spite of being clever and sarcastic they’re also... fragile and weird and they have trouble fitting in. And Jack is taking advantage of their weakness! You know what that’s called?

Doctor: A Donna?

Donna: ...Yeah, but I’m the only one who should be allowed to do that, okay?!

Doctor: What do we think of the Master?

*pause*

Donna : *sighs* Nice pal.

Jack: I think they're gay.

Donna : What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.

Doctor: Fucking Jack and Master were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

Donna, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Jack: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Doctor: I personally was created in a lab.

Master: I just straight up spawned lol.

Donna: Everyone synchronise your watches.

Jack: I don't know how to do that.

Master: I don't wear a watch.

Doctor: Time is a construct.

Master: You have friends and I envy that.

Doctor: You're welcome to share my friends.

Master: *looks at Jack and Donna*

Master: I don't want those.

Donna: Made you all playlists!

Donna: Master, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Donna: Doctor, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Donna: And Jack has the ABBA Gold album.

Donna: What are you getting the Doctor for the holidays?

Master: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Jack: I'm getting the Doctor a divorce lawyer.

Donna: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!

Doctor: Merry crisis.

Jack: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.

Master: Hoe hoe hoe.

Donna: Guys, please.

Master: Doctor, my old friend!

Doctor: I think you tried to kill me at some point.

Master: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.

Jack: sapnu puaS.

Master: What??

Doctor: What language is that.

Jack: Turn your phone 180 degrees.

*Jack was removed from the groupchat*

Doctor: Jack, keep an eye on the Master today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Jack: Sure, I'd love to see the Master getting punched.

Donna: Try again.

Jack, sighing: I will try to stop the Master from getting punched.

Doctor: Did it hurt when you fell-

Master: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Doctor: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Master: ...

Doctor: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Donna: *eating a cinnamon roll*

Jack: Cannibalism.

Donna: *confused chewing noises*

Doctor: I have feelings for you.

Master: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Jack: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Donna: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging.

Doctor: Waking up in the morning.

Master: Waking up.

Master: I still don’t have a New Year’s resolution.

Jack: You could lose a few.

Doctor: You could be less lazy.

Donna: Don’t be such a bitch.

Master: Okay DAMN, SHIT.

Jack: Why is Master crying on the floor?

Donna: They're drunk.

Jack: And?

Donna: They saw a picture of Doctor's spouse.

Jack: But they're Doctor's spouse.

Donna: I know.

Jack: Hah! 69! you know what that means?

Master: What?

Doctor: That you're a child.

Donna: HOW YOU GUESS MY IQ?!?

Donna: Truth or dare?

Doctor: Dare.

Donna: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.

Doctor: Hey Jack?

Jack, blushing: Yeah?

Doctor: Can you move? I'm trying to get to the Master.

Donna: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Master: *crouches down*

Jack: *kneels down*

Doctor: *sits on the floor*

Donna:

Donna: I hate all of you.

[thatpunkmaximoff]

[Book Three of...]

Story: 4 out 5 Smut: 2.5 out of 5

Oh wow. I don’t know why I was skeptical about a Wizard of Oz reimagining, but damn… it was so good! Although I do feel stupid for trying to match the “Wizard of Oz” characters to their “Wretched” counterpart lol.

Books One and Two had male villains, so it was fun to read about a female villain.

As the brains behind her family’s drug empire, I was nervous about how Evie was going to get her happily ever after with the new guy she fell for- an undercover DEA agent. She just keeps digging herself deeper and deeper, and just when you think Nick/Brayden is gonna meet his limit with her… he evolves.

I did not expect the DEA agent to evolve the way he did. But damn, I loved that he questioned himself and made the decisions that he did.

Wretched is filled with family and relationship angst, as well as some betrayals that you won’t see coming. Like holy hell… that one… towards the end… jaw dropped!

* Oohhh. So did Dorothy kill Nessa or is Evie just blaming her to blame her..? Interesting.

* Dorothy is the dad’s weakness? Seriously? I wanna see a cat fight between sisters Evie and Dorothy haha. It’s gonna be interesting when Nicholas is sent in to cozy up to Dorothy, but ends up fucking Evie 😏

* Damn. Such a quick, hard fuck in the bathroom and Evie flees. I’m seriously so excited to see Nick freak out when he notices she’s the sister to the mark he’s supposed to get to know. Yes!

* Ezekiel is gonna turn rat by bringing Nick into the fold?

* Wow. Dorothy’s such a cunt for what she said. And look at Ezekiel snapping at her in defense of Evie. I hope someone punches the shit out of her or kills her.

* So Evie is the “Wicked Witch of the West”, but who are the others? I feel dumb lol.

* Well shit. Dorothy is smitten with the guy who got his dick wet in her sister just a week or so ago 😂

* Oh fuck yeah. The meeting. Nick/Brayden can’t keep his eyes off Evie and Dorothy is already talking in his ear and trying to paint Evie as crazy. Fucking bitch.

* Cody, the hacker, is Oz. Fitting. Man behind the curtain and all.

* Evelina should have cut his dick off.

* Goddamn. I love how she calls him pup.

* And they fucked in the strip club basement. Oh lord. She should have recorded it and played it for Dorothy lol.

* Her sister’s body was never recovered..? What if she dipped? What if she’s still alive..? God, I would love that for Evie.

* Wow. How the fuck is this gonna go down. They want the supplier, but that supplier is Evelina. She cooks up everything. I just can’t see how these two can live happily ever after 😬

* Wow. Nick/Brayden has got a mouth on him. I love it.

* Ouch. Him telling Evie she’s not worth it just got me fucked up.

* Damn. She straight up murdered people in front of him. How is he gonna get her off the hook for this?

* “Let me be your calm in the chaos, pretty girl.”

* Oh fuck. The dad is the one cutting up Evie’s drugs and adding bullshit into it all to make MORE cash? wtf. I hope they can pin everything on the dad and Dorothy so Evie can run away with Nick/Brayden.

* What is it with guys fucking girls with guns? Lol.

* Also… poetry while fucking is a little weird. Ngl.

* God, the dad is such an asshole. And wtf is Dorothy up to? She’s nervous. Why?

* FUCKING DOROTHY! God, I hope she dies.

* Is this how Evie and Nick/Brayden will get their HEA? She’s gonna sell out her dad and/or burn everything to the ground? Yes, please!!!

* Oh no. She said those three little words, he panicked, and Dorothy just gave him the information he needed about who the supplier is. This fucking sucks.

* Holy fuck. She knows. His cover is blown, but he didn’t tell his partner that she’s the supplier!

* God that was a satisfying end for Dorothy. Not so much her dad, but now I got other shit to worry about lol.

* CODY?! OZ!? What the fuck, man!!!

* NICHOLAS!!! Oh my god. My heart can’t take this.

* “I love you. I didn’t know that I could love until you. And you’re not perfect, okay? You piss me off and you do things I never thought I’d be all right with, and you’re moody as hell. You’re actually the furthest fucking thing from perfect I’ve ever seen. But, Evelina… you’re perfect for me.”

* Why am I just realizing Nick is the “Tin Man” 😂 and Ezekiel was the “Cowardly Lion” 🤦🏻‍♀️ Who tf was the Scarecrow tho?!

* I wanna go to Ireland now…

[transhawks]

Absolutely! Man, I can never get over the huge disparity between who Hawks was introduced to us as, the expectations we had of him as a side character, to what he’s evolved into and all these layers cause with all this shit happening he’s like a leaky can of skittles where you shake it hard and the perfect uniformity starts slipping. Anyways, one important part to all this is that a lot of people are like Keigo (minus the murder arc) so. His issues? I don’t wanna, criticize him in a way that

PUTTING THIS WARNING HERE SINCE MY READ MORE GOT SHELVED: personal discussion of mental and personality disorders and disordered behaviors here. If symptoms like manipulation make you uncomfortable, take care reading.

So like.. to me it's really funny because I remember liking Keigo because he was so instantly manipulative and good at it that I just thought... "who is this I love him." I always adored characters who can manipulate people, people who relied on something other than strength to change people and circumstances in their favor, so he just felt as natural as liking one of my previous blorbos.

Some frank discussion of mental health below the cut. Please be mindful that it might disturb some of you unused to disordered thinking.

I think, back then, it's because I was very much struggling with my own tendency to want to do that. I'd developed a weird coping skill since my late teens to trick my mind to not be able to do that because I genuinely didn't like manipulating people or just...analyzing them for weakness like that. Liking people like Hawks was... a way to explore that part of me, those impulses, without engaging with them IRL because I truly despised (and still do) that aspect of me.

Two years later I got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which that's a major symptom of. Go figure. Informally, I've asked around in the Jinkei server, and a lot of us are either diagnosed with BPD or just fit the profile and refuse to get diagnosed because Cluster B personality disorders are very much stigmatized and people often refuse to treat borderlines.

Anyway, I think being cluster B and knowing it's a consequence of trauma from abuse and such, I just think it explains a lot of who Keigo is. Some of what Keigo does makes so much sense to me, morality aside, because if i wasn't someone who questioned half of my actions, I'd do the same thing. Not like kill Twice, but a lot of the manipulating is just... There are moments when I just wonder why people don't realize how easy it is do that.

Very dark thought, but again, cluster B. I remember coming across a post earlier on in my diagnosis that also coincided with fights I'd been having privately with my ex-best friend about his actions; that a lot of borderlines don't realize that "doing bad things makes you a bad person" and uhhh, yeah, that's exactly it. We absolutely don't think of these things this way. To us, it's... a defense mechanism. Or often we think it's better for the other person if we do it, and convince ourselves that what we are doing will make other people happier. So, despite the uhh black-and-white view on Keigo (and the fact people like me tend to be very black-and-white morally), with Keigo his actions/mindset not matching felt natural to me.

Keigo really just feels very cluster B personality disorder to me. I'm no psych person, but the way he acts, his trauma and the way he deals with, just feels incredibly natural to someone like me, indicative of someone who is still very much living life on High Alert and Defense. While I personally lean towards Borderline with him because I believe he has shown being able to feel empathy, and we score high on emotional empathy (there seems to be debate on cognitive though), and that's what makes us different from people with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder), more importantly he just shows traits and actions that coincide with these disorders. Anyway, besides psychobabble, the disparity between who we thought he was at first glance and what he is is amazing. He's probably one of the best written characters and has so many layers. I'd put him in the same category as Shigaraki and Bakugou in the very beautiful way Horikoshi has managed to portray them. Those are the characters that spring to mind when I think of like...the care and clear work put into them? I'm sure there are way more. He's also absolutely no longer a "side-character" as we thought of, but like, again, was our first example of a hero reaching out and failing a villain.

I really don't know why Caleb changed his mind two chapters later, but I think him seeing that phrase again probably made him retain the Japanese better than going for a localized English pun as it highlighted the importance of Keigo expressing that insecurity. I can't speculate, looking at the Japanese there's nothing about not risking your neck and it absolutely isn't in Keigo's characterization to do that. Thankfully, the broad back is the one the fandom embraced so it's clear that the combination of him eventually getting it right and the MS and JB translators being so popular among fandom helped us get the actual meaning.

[astromechs]

Don't get me wrong I know people can do whatever, but there's something about the framing of people being so quick to ship peter with nebula coming on the heels of Gamora being murdered and how important her relationship with Nebula is that's sad to me. Endgame highlighted that if nothing else getting their relationship back meant something to them. Vol 3 also has Peter and Gamora reconnecting and Peter grieving and figuring things out while Gamora and Nebula have clearly been keeping some communication. It's obvious that for Gamora her two most important relationships are with Nebula and Peter.

Also, I've seen a few people really pushing the idea of Gamora not needing love or not deserving/needing to be a guardian. The idea she's better off single anyway since she's stronger all alone has come up too. People can have their preferences but those types of talking points are so consistently prevalent when women of color are involved both in real and fictional life that it's gross. Especially the don't need love part. Being loved and cared for is something everyone deserves. After Endgame came out I saw some fans suggesting that Gamora could just be replaced by certain white male characters or Nebula as if she's was easily exchangeable and I think there are times it's like fandom is just chomping at the bit waiting to brush characters of color off or for suitable white characters to pair Peter or any other white dude with no matter what.

Sorry I digressed there a bit. I've had to walk away from fandoms before because of how awful the treatment of characters became and the rise of thinly veiled racism or sexism because it wasn't worth being slapped in the face by that constantly when trying to relax and enjoy escapism. I'm hoping gotg won't become that bad but I'm seeing the edges of it.

i wish i could say something encouraging about the last part of your ask, but unfortunately gotg, like every other marvel fandom and every other fandom in general, has its fair bit of racism and sexism embedded within it. i'm also a star wars fan in addition to a marvel fan, and you might ask me... how do you stay sane being in both of those fandoms? the answer is i've had to take breaks from each one respectively for a bit, yeah, but also i curate my experience so that i'm predominantly NOT seeing the racist/sexist stuff on my feed. it's done a lot to help my experience in fandom!

but yeah, the readiness with which people seemed to jump on board with shipping peter and nebula really bothered me for a lot of those reasons that you said. it's sort of discounting both of their relationships with her, when those two individual relationships are so important to the overall narrative and also every character involved? it's weird.

i too am really tired of "strong independent woman don't need love" bullshit, because there is sooooo much stuff it is thinly veiling underneath, and i've seen this go on here too and i'm like. nah. i promise that gamora can be a strong female character and find all sorts of forms of love. love doesn't make you weak. fandom stop being weird challenge.

[izzythehutt]

for the ship thing, walt/skyler?

I regret to inform the internet at large that I did, in fact, kind of ship them. Everyone else in the fandom out there defending their right to ship Walt/Jesse and I'm over here in my weirdo corner defending Walt's unhealthy, toxic relationship with his for realsies wife.

There's never a moment in BrBa where I didn't buy their relationship and the history between them, which I think is really key to making the entire premise work. You had to really understand why after she finds out about his criminal life Skyler doesn't just turn him in and they sold me on it. It was a masterstroke to make it motivated not from fear (at least at first), but from her love of her husband, her sentimental attachment to the image of their family she wants the kids to have, and her own natural pragmatic nature.

my favorite or a defining moment

Their defining moment is the phone call in Ozymandias. I don't think anything more encapsulates their relationship than that—the fact that Walt has utterly destroyed their lives with his selfish actions but is also heartbroken over Hank's death and is completely willing to take the fall to protect her and in spite of everything they've gone through and the deterioration of their marriage and souls she knows him well enough to understand what he's really doing and lets him know she understands. Runner up is the conversation after he collapses on the bathroom floor and asks her if she's glad he's finally dying Anna Gunn's face :(

My personal favorite moments were all in late S3 early S4 when Skyler pushes herself into his criminal enterprises against his will and becomes Walt's naggy concerned mafia wife. The scene where she comes over to his condo and he tries to hide his blackeye with the door frame never fails to crack me up (I find her protectiveness of him weirdly cute.)

My favorite moment is when they're lying in bed together after the awkward (but kinda hilarious) re-consummation of their marriage and just having super banal domestic talk (Skyler pointing out she's gotten a haircut and then laughing when Walt says oh, yeah, I was definitely going to say something about it :')) and then Junior comes home and they're trying and failing to hide that they had sex from their disgusted teenage son. It's the closest the show ever got to family comedy/fluff.

whether they’re wholesome (affectionate), fucked up (affectionate), fucked up (derogatory), or boring

They veered into fucked up (derogatory) in early S5 and kind of never really left that place (though at least he finally stopped lying to her) though they did have some genuine moments of honesty in the latter half of the show.

a song I think captures their essence:

Poison and Wine by the Civil Wars

A Sister Ship

Uh Ozai/Ursa from ATLA tbh? Ursa and Skyler are both on board with murder if it means the safety of their children. Also Lord and Lady Macbeth, which I'm pretty sure Peter Gould straight up compared them to at one point. what kind of AU I’d like to stick them in

One where he doesn't kill Gus, because that's the moment where their relationship went from high-key dysfunctional and effed up in an entertaining way even though you know it's unhealthy to just...terrifying.

I've always liked the idea of AUs where Skyler somehow gets to spend time with Jesse/teams up with him, because Walt spends so much of the show trying to keep those two apart from each other lest they reveal all his weaknesses/sins, and I find the idea of them double teaming him hilarious because you know Walt would hate it. I kind of wrote that in Spin the Gun but I've thought of other iterations of that I like.

Now I'm picturing some weird AU of the end of S4 where Walt successfully gets the family to the Disappearer and when Jesse shows up too because he doesn't want to be left behind by Mr. White Walt convinces her to let him be part of their new assumed identity family.

Bonus: They aren't on my top ten list, but they were the only romantic relationship in BrBa that I actually had a strong investment in.

[evelhak]

Long personal rambling ahead, you've been warned.

I had a weird day walking around my high school city, it almost literally felt like going back in time, since it's been a long time since I walked in the places I used to, I've driven through it and gone to specific places but not like... wandering around the spots I used to spend time in as a teen. I was so surprised the corner of the book shop that I used to hide in was still there. It was always enough out of view so that I could browse books as much as I liked and sit there for hours without anyone noticing or asking anything.

Also I realized the spot at the mall where I cried my eyes out when I didn't get into a musical was exactly the same it was 12 years ago. It made me quite reflective and it got me thinking about my worst and best high school memories which now made me want to share one specific story... Because I've obviously mentioned many times already that I relate to Kuroko deeply, but I haven't really explained why. Not that people would necessarily even be interested, but my blog is like a weird diary anyway, so I'm just gonna tell this memory. Maybe someone will vibe with it.

It started with that musical. It was one of the things why I had chosen my high school (the other was to get a place at a Japan exchange, which I did succeed at) but yeah, I didn't get a role. I was told my presence was "too sensitive" like I wouldn't be able to fill the stage, be expressive enough and draw attention. It was totally fair by the way, but devastating to me at that age, because acting was something I had a real fixation about, and it wasn't even something I had long-term plans for, I had just got it in my head that it was something I needed to check out of my bucket list, no matter what, I wouldn't have peace unless I was in a "real" play once.

So, yeah, I did cry my eyes out because I had tried really hard and wanted it a lot, but after I stopped crying, the teacher's words just made me want to prove they were wrong. So, I decided to do a theater diploma with my friends instead, and the biggest part of it was to write, direct and act a play which would be publically performed. I was already a writer so that role eventually fell to me, which I was only happy about. We had already decided to do a murder mystery which I was so psyched about since I was in my most intense Sherlock obsession at the time. Anyway, I got this idea that since I could write my own role I could make it about my so-called weakness, actually I could write it in a way that the role could only be performed by someone like me who didn't stand out much.

No one had especially wanted to be the detective, so that was going to be my role, and then I figured I should have two detectives solving the same case. The other one would be a distraction to lead the audience astray. He would be loud, aggressive and boisterous and the narrative would support the assumption that he was the main character. His name was Mr. Forrest. And he was played by our most charismatic and talented actor. So while this flamboyant detective would be thinking out loud, explicitly solving the case, and engaging the audience, my character, Cherry, would be working in the background and having her own differing opinions, but they would be seemingly debunked by the other detective or the suspects, and the audience would think Cherry was too boring of a character to be important, since she was mostly just organizing stuff in the background (but of course all of those things were actually clues to the case) However, Mr. Forrest would eventually turn out to have been fooled by one of the suspects, the murderer, because he was attracted to her (because I was a faithful Sherlockian) and unbiased Cherry would solve the case.

I feel like this kind of thinking perfectly illustrates why I'm a writer, not an actor, heh...

But anyway, it worked really well, the audience was never able to see through the bluff, as far as I know. (Maybe once would have been nice, that would have proved my clues as coherent if you paid enough attention but oh well.) I can't pretend my favourite part wasn't when my character finally got the spotlight at the end and I got to explain how the murder was commited and expose the murderer. I think my favourite line was from Mr. Forrest, when Cherry would pull out a flipboard on which I had sketched a drawing of how the murder was done and Mr. Forrest would say: "So, you decided to pass the time by doodling a little for your own amusement? Ridiculous!" (Probably I found it so good because the actor nailed the tone.) And then of course Cherry would basically hand his ass to him when it came to solving the crime.

One of the others also had a habit of telling the audience after the applause that no one should ever make me mad because I would have been a good murderer. I guess that was funny, definitely stroked my ego a little.

I really had the best time in high school with that group. I'll never forget how in sync I was with the girl who played Mr. Forrest. I haven't done a lot of acting, but I have done a lot of dancing so I do know something about chemistry on stage and to this day I don't think I encountered anyone who I had it better with. It felt like magic honestly. She had trouble remembering lines sometimes and every time it happened she would instinctively look at me, and then I would always be able to make her look at an object that made her remember the next line. I was usually good with remembering, but on one occasion I forgot to say one tiny sentence that was key to the mystery, without it the next parts wouldn't make any sense, but the moment was already gone, and then Mr. Forrest's actor totally saved my ass by coming up with a new impro section to one of the character's monologues on the spot, and it covered up my mistake completely. I was really impressed by that because it required so much thinking in mere seconds to spontaneously add a whole new section to the story, but that just showed how in the moment she was. We weren't normally the closest personal friends (honestly she barely remembered I existed before we started working on the play even though we did hang out in the same circle) but on stage it was like we had one brain for a moment. I really wish I would get to experience that again some day.

Anyway, I feel like this also illustrates some specific things in an analogous manner about why I feel about KnB so deeply and relate to Kuroko. Isn't it funny how this memory is about acting on stage, since that's an analogy in KnB? Sure, this is just one memory but also one that doesn't feel too personal to share, so in case anyone was curious about why I relate to Kuroko I think this is a pretty good example because it covers a few key things, I think.

Also I just like to think about these happy times, so this was a good excuse to go back there. I'm always going to love that darkness of the stage and the magical feeling it brings and how many things performative art forms can do. Even as amateurs I think we impressed people quite a lot.

Anyway... If you read this far I hope it was at least mildly entertaining.

Haha, I actually saw one of my old friends from this play today, when I completely accidentally went to a store she was working in. Hadn't seen her in at least five years. She played a suspect who was an artist with about three brain cells.

Anyway, enough rambling, good night.

[ducknotinarow]

[2k3 Rasey]

Casey frowns, not saying much, as he sits at the edge of the building. He has his mask on, making it impossible to tell what expression he was wearing in that moment. The fact he was quiet was probably enough of a tell that something was on his mind. Turns out Casey could think.

"Mh, sorry Raph," He says, not even aware if Raphael was speaking to him or not, "Guess I was jus' thinkin' 'bout somethin'."

Yeah but about what?

The two of them didn't do the emotional or mushy stuff, nor did they do a lot of heart to hearts. Call it pride or some weird defence mechanism telling them they'd be weak for feeling anything. Casey still managed to move though, sighing out, not looking his way,

"I think...Raph, I think part of me is 'appy my dad is dead."

Raphael was the only one that knew what Casey's dad was like. Not personally, thankfully, but the shit Casey said about the guy was anything but good - wrapped up in praise and painted pink thanks to Rose tinted glasses. And yet, despite Casey knowing better, despite his admission, he still looks to Raph, worry and sadness flickering in ocean blue eyes,

"That makes me a bad person, don't it?"

| Muse Interaction Raph could feel the blood pumping through him as he and Case got done doing in some lame brain purple dragons that night. The two of them seeking off to lie low a second as the sound sirens were far behind them to pick up the batch of thugs they dealt with. Raph having loved even second of it. Sometimes he got a thrill outta them looking at him like he was gonna murder them. Bruised and blooded knuckles he was feeling over right now, but the moment of victory snuffed out quick as he watch Casey move to plop down at the edge of the building. No whooping and hollering fro Casey, now that Raph thought about it Casey hadn't really got into that fight just now, sure he hit a few of those dragons but he didn't get all into it like he normally would have.

That wasn't like Casey. Raphael made his way over standing behind them as he set his hand son to their shoulders, for once he had the height advantage, as he slightly leaned over. The end sof his mask falling over his shoulders slightly brushing over Casey as Raph leaned forward trying to look at his boyfriend right now. It was hard to tell what expression they were wearing seeing as they hadn't removed their hockey mask. But Casey hadn't said a word and well Casey never knew how to keep his big mouth shut. That was enough for Raph to know something was wrong, not to mention how they were sitting. Shoulders were held low, his head was lowered, as the slouched over like Casey was folding in on himself. Raphael quirked his beak a little. One hand lifted a some arm moved to rest it around their shoulders. Slightly tapping the top of Casey's head to get their attention his setting his weight on them wasn't enough

"Ya still 'ith me there Case?" Raph asks concern clear in his tone, but it seemed like enough to snap them out of their mind.

"Mh, sorry Raph,"

Raph hummed a little to himself lowering his hand to rest that arm over top his other

 "Guess I was jus' thinkin' 'bout somethin'."

Raphael grunted a little and gave a nod of his head to the response he was given. Wasn't much like Casey to spend time well thinking, all those hits to his head made it a miracle that he could think in the first place after all. But, it was easy to tell something was weighing heavily on his mind. Thing is Raph and Casey weren't all that great when it came to talking out their feelings. When one of them was in a low mood the answer was lets go fight them out of our system, or I wanna be alone. Though Alone often excluded the other, so it was more I wanna be alone with you. But still, it was clear the usual fix wasn't working for Casey and just because they didn't talk didn't mean they couldn't. Few things ever shared but Raphael knew he could share things if he needed and he wanted Casey to feel the same way.

Raphael moved and shifted a bit, not fully hugging them but laying a arm down over their shoulder in a slight hold as he rested his cheek to his arm to excuse the hug as a way to look at Casey better.

"Case if ya' got somethin' rattling in there ya know I'll listen."

He could feel Casey shift a little not outright looking towards him still but he could near feel the movement against his plastron as they went to speak up.

"I think...Raph, I think part of me is 'appy my dad is dead."

Oh so that's what this was about. No wonder beating off dragon's didn't do him any good then. All thing consider it likely made it worse for Casey. Seeing how his dad sure protected them from the dragons and was the reason he was dead now. Being a big reason Casey had such a personal vendetta against them. But His dad, to Raphael. Was the biggest jerk of them all, Raph would set that man on the same level as the Shredder, and Bishop. How could someone meant to protect his family also hurt them like he did Casey and Casey's mother even. Casey finally turned to look at Raph, letting him see those ocean blue eyes of theirs. And in all those waves he could only see sadness in in them. And it made Raph's blood boil the second it came over them. As if that emotion was crashing in against Casey and sweep him out to the mercy of the sea. Worry lined that sadness though as if there was something wrong with what he said.

"That makes me a bad person, don't it?"

"What?!" he didn't yell but his tone wasn't exactly low either, it was the dumbest thing he could have ever heard come from Casey's mouth and that was saying something. Now his blood truly was boiling cruse that man, because even in death they found a way to still cause harm to Casey like this. Raphael knew this wasn't so black and white though. It was easy to hate the people him and his brothers came to fight. Like Kurai they did something bad so that made them bad, in Raphael's eyes. The same went for Casey's dad he hurt people he never should have hurt, so that made him bad.

But, he did still try to protect them? Even if Raph felt that was more a matter of pride if anything. The only good thing that guy did in this word was bring Casey into it.

Right.

"Is Casey Jones a bad person?" Was what Raph finally said speaking up, moving to stand up a bit as he pressed his arms against Casey, and set his chin to the top of thier head. "Hmm is Casey Jones the guy that sticks his neck out for others when he don't gotta a bad person?" He asks once more, now pushing his hands down so to push Casey down as well trying to get his point across like when he hits them for being stupid. "Let me see the guy who watches out for Angel 'ike shes his sister, the guy that jumps to protect the city from the Dragons, the man who has come ta save my ass alone hundre' of times. The guy who has joined in many of my and my brothers fights cause we can always. Always." Raph paused to add the emphasis on to that word "Count on ta save our shells." Hoping that he was making a point on in the least that Casey was following his point. "How an the world is someone 'ike that a bad person?"

Finally moving off their back as he took the spot beside them, turning to meet their gaze. Reaching over to grab at their mask and push it up so it was resting on top of their head. Hey if Casey could take his off then the same should go both ways. "Case you are the furthest from bad outta anyone aye know. An' i've been ta space more tha' I like. When someone needs help asked or not ya there. When I do ask I know ya gonna be at my side. Case ya got the biggest heart outta everyone. Ya don' give a damn about nothin' not if someone even a mutant. An' I know ya think the world of ya ma'. Casey Jones would ride his bike through the flames of hell for someone he cared about and wouldn' even thick twice 'bout it." Because Casey was just that a great guy it what Raphael love him for, that giant ass heart that may have hot blood running in it. But this guy would do anything to help others. Was a wonder how more people didn't like Casey. Seeming to forget Casey was a bit of a nuisance in this moment.

Debating a moment but, right now. Right now they were not a pair of crime fighters. Reaching to tug down his own mack letting red fabric hand around his neck as he let them see the emotions over his own eyes for once.

"Casey, I wish I could tell ya how someone could be in you life and not love ya, but only hurt ya. Hurt ya a lot too. But, aye can' cause I don' understand how anyone couldn' 'ike Casey Jones. Hes a nut and not the brightest but he has a whole lotta heart. So much that he feels like he has to love and protect someone who brought him a lot of pain in his life and still is bringing him a lot of pain to this day." Who could hate someone like that? Worse who could hurt someone like that? "if anything the fact you can sit here and think that being happy he is dead makes you a bad person shows ya no where near being bad. Ya jus' nuts." Raph truly was a master of words wasn't he?

"Casey, I am only saying this once so better listen got it?" Raph slightly threatens but now wishing he had his mask back on as he swallowed thickly. "Wanna know what made me go from simply crushin' on ya to..to getting feelin's for you? its that even with all ya anger issues, and being this massive human wrecking ball. Ya see the good in everyone." Moving to point at their chest "Cause' just 'ike everything 'bout ya you got this massive heart in you. Even if ya wrong for trusting someone ya still look for the good in 'em. Ya sometimes loose sight of going too far." or least when they met at the time he had "But ya always know the 'ight thing to do. That how I know when i'm in the wrong cause thats the only time you aren' on my side." Raph admitted, surprisingly not once turning away or even shying off from what he was saying.

"Case, since knowing ya I wanted to be better cause of you. I took to much pride in being a good fighter but with you around? I've learned that theres more. That's what good people do they make others wanna be better so they can make that good person proud of 'em." He soon lets his eyes soften a bit. "yeah 'm sure ya wish it was simple for ya to say fuck 'em cause he was a dick." mmm maybe he should be a bit more carful how he talks about Casey's dad, "It be easier for ya to write him off and be done with it. But, than ya wouldn't be Casey. I will say that's his loss he never took the time to see how fuckin' amazing you are."

[o5-10]

I may as well also share an abridged log of the first time they brought that name up, the difference in how I was acting between those twp encounters is notable, in my opinion. I apologize for so many chat logs. This one will definitely be the last, as I am only using it for comparison.

This conversation is dated 07 September, 2018, and the one wherein I doxxed my own skin is dated 19 October, 2018, to give an idea of the apparent time frame needed for the cognitohazards to work. I had been receiving one dose every week beginning on 01 September 2018, meaning that during this exchange, I was functioning more or less at my normal.

During this exchange, there were several lengthy digressions, which I have omitted for brevity, as they do not serve to illustrate my point. I did retain the others denying the Insurgency's claim, for obvious reasons.

I am also including more than strictly necessary, because I do want to be honest about some of my poorer attempts at misdirection. I also wanted to include the origin of "My name is Bitch Murder Redacted."

Chaos Insurgency: Okay, enough of this alpha beating around the bush

O5-10 "Janus": Do I want to paint my nails?

Chaos Insurgency: it’s time for what they at xkcd call a psychological shot in the dark, or something

Chaos Insurgency: I don’t know, Em, do you

O5-10 "Janus": Okay, you go play that ga

O5-10 "Janus": That's a fairly common name.

O5-10 "Janus": I'm sure plenty of people know people who go by Em.

O5-10 "Janus": It's hardly unique.

Chaos Insurgency: Yeah that’s what foundation people tend to default to when cornered, plausible deniability

O5-10 "Janus": I don't have a running list of people I know in passing's names.

Chaos Insurgency: Janus’s name, we have reason to believe was Em

O5-10 "Janus": It isn't and wasn't, no.

Chaos Insurgency: That’s a pretty cute name in general though

O5verthinking: For fuck's sake, leave them alone on that front at least.

Chaos Insurgency: Found it on someone’s blogs

O5-10 "Janus": It's a fine name. It is not, however, mine.

O5verthinking: The name has absolutely no bearing or relevance and there's no reason to preserve it. They're O5-10. It's numbers. Get it right.

Chaos Insurgency: blog. blogs. doesn’t matte r

O5-10 "Janus": Are you referring to the confused individuals who needed to check a census?

Chaos Insurgency: Weird Foundaiton mind fuckery and your absolute singleminded focus on erasing identity

O5-10 "Janus": Do you believe everything you read, Insurgency?

O5verthinking: Erasing 👏 identity 👏 is 👏 good 👏 sometimes 👏

[irrelevant digression about grandmothers]

O5-10 "Janus": Then again, you did just dig through two people who are highly suspect at best's blogs and take their baffling tales as absolute truth, so.

Chaos Insurgency: Oh yeah you didn’t amnesticise yourself but you did some other mentally torturous thing that erased you and your Feelings

O5-10 "Janus": It's not torturous.

O5-10 "Janus": Just because you're weak willed doesn't mean we all are.

Chaos Insurgency: Em, I don’t care how strong your will is, if you don’t deliver the goods, it’s all the same

O5-10 "Janus": Oh, you're going to just use a nonsense name for me. Okay.

O5verthinking: Why do people constantly seem to be confused as to who they're addressing when talking to O5?

Chaos Insurgency: Maybe cos you’re all dumb letters and numbers

O5verthinking: You know damn well that isn't what we mean.

O5-10 "Janus": So you're just going to go on baby name sites and pick one for all of us?

Chaos Insurgency: Yes!

[massive irrelevant digression]

O5-10 "Janus": On the other, I still hate you.

Chaos Insurgency: We hate you too, Em

O5-10 "Janus": Insurgency, no one cares what you think.

Chaos Insurgency: Em. em. ehem

O5-10 "Janus": Oh, good, I can hear the phlegm in my mind's ear.

O5-10 "Janus": Suits you.

Chaos Insurgency: Em...ilyn

Chaos Insurgency: Emmanuel

Chaos Insurgency: Em-dash

O5-10 "Janus": You really are.

O5-10 "Janus": You're literally trying to use some fabulist's blog as a lead.

O5-10 "Janus": And scouring a baby book based on it.

O5-10 "Janus": This is sad.

[small digression]

O5-10 "Janus": Because they can't get to me, anyway.

O5-10 "Janus": And I need them to be very aware of how pathetic this is.

Chaos Insurgency: You sure about that, Emery

O5-10 "Janus": ...you decidedly have the wrong number.

Chaos Insurgency: Come off it, it’s on his blog for the world to see

O5-10 "Janus": He's mistaken, that isn't my problem.

O5-10 "Janus": Just because he's unwavering in his misguided belief does not stop it from being misguided.

Chaos Insurgency: Dunno, you seem pretty affected when he makes up his wild claims

O5-10 "Janus": Because it's unimaginably irritating coming from someone who goes places he shouldn't.

Chaos Insurgency: More like distressing

O5-10 "Janus": It isn't, no.

Chaos Insurgency: Now who’s a lying liar who lies

O5-10 "Janus": Eleven.

Chaos Insurgency: Speaking of which your dumb colleague even referred to you as Janus and Em in the same breath

[large digression]

Chaos Insurgency: Gonna try and ferret out an identity from that

O5-10 "Janus": You won't find anything.

O5-10 "Janus": Since it's not my name.

Chaos Insurgency: read the records on the blogs, they do not lie

O5-10 "Janus": Records from known fabulists.

Chaos Insurgency: Who happened to all tell the same lie.

O5-10 "Janus": They're twins.

Chaos Insurgency: Including that colleague of yours, Eleven

O5-10 "Janus": They probably talk.

O5-10 "Janus": Eleven lies and plays along with things when she's bored.

Dr. Sadiras Haelfrosta: O5 11 Father of Lies. You really wanna put faith in that?

O5-10 "Janus": You literally just used O5-11 as your argument.

[digression]

O5-10 "Janus": No, I said I don't know Gino Sparks.

Chaos Insurgency: But he knows you and his sister got real mad when someone drew a picture of you and her together

O5-10 "Janus": He must know someone with a similar visage.

Chaos Insurgency: Uhhhhhh it wasn’t me it was my uuuhhhhh evil twin

O5-10 "Janus": His sister and I have strong disagreements, yes.

O5-10 "Janus": But he wasn't alive when those began.

O5-10 "Janus": So he could not possibly know me.

[digression]

Code Bastard: I know your name

Code Bastard: It's

Code Bastard: Bitch

Dr. Sadiras Haelfrosta: Oh Oh O5 10 Janus your name is. Murder.

O5-10 "Janus": Yes, my legal name is Bitch Murder Redacted.

Chaos Insurgency: That’s... fitting

O5-10 "Janus": Good job. You caught me.

[ekat-fandom-blog]

Here's the not-backwards fic for everyone! Hope you like it!

~*~*~*~

The portal had opened up to a rather large room with a spandex brigade on one side and a really weird mix of armored people and suited people on the other side. Makes sense that their guy is part of the suit/armor people.

"Oh shi-." They attacked before the dude could even finish his sentence so he couldn't make another escape. He was sucked into the Fenton thermos so they could interrogate him later... After they got some sleep. There is no way he's getting out before they get some sleep. If he does, Fright Knight and Walker can handle him. Probably.

Now that the fight was over though, they were tired enough to just slump onto the floor leaning on each other.

"Dani?" Danny asked, exhausted.

"Yeah, Danny?" Dani replied, equally exhausted.

"How long have we been chasing this fruitloop?" He shook the thermos a bit for emphasis.

"I don't know? 2 weeks? A month?" She made an aborted motion with her arm. "Time's Clockwork's thing, not mine. I'm so tired."

He started to tear up. "I really miss my bed. Whoever told me that I could sleep when I was dead is a liar and I hate them."

"If murder fixed problems instead of creating new ones, I'd suggest that, but we're dead and it's a problem so..." She started to try to get up, but flopped over which caused the other to also fall. "Dang it. I don't have legs right now."

"Just fly, dum dum," he mumbled, not even trying to get up.

"Who the fu-" A loud obnoxious voice started.

"Green Lantern," Another loud and obnoxious, but more serious, voice said.

"Are we supposed to capture them, or something?" Someone else asked.

"You're supposed to shut up and not anger the sleep deprived ghosts," Dani snapped.

"Can we ask who you are and where you came from?"

"Danny Phantom." Danny raised his hand before dropping it.

"Dani Phantom-" Dani swished her hand in the air slightly and yawned. "-with an 'i'."

Danny also yawned. "Infinite Realms. Need to make portal and hand off to Frighty."

Dani groaned. "Don' wanna. Too tired."

Danny groaned and attempted to get up. "Gotta."

"That's dumb." She stayed laying there.

"Ok cool. You need to leave. That's fine. What are the Infinite Realms?" A new voice asked.

"And what did you do to Klarion?" Another grumpier voice pitched in.

"Don' know a Klarion, just the idiot that threatened the Realms and most of reality," Dani stated, flopping over onto her back.

"Come on, Dani. Let's go," he said, tearing a hole in the ground and dragging himself and the girl into it like 2 (not quite) human slinkies. The portal closed after them.

~~~

"Do we do something about that, or...?" Flash asked looking around at everyone.

Dr Fate answered. "No."

"No? They just kidnapped Klarion?" Flash asked confused.

"They're from the Infinite Realms. We don't want to mess with that," Cap stated.

"Why don't we want to, as you put it, 'mess with that'?" Lex asked.

"If you took Martian Manhunter's and took away his weaknesses and then added at least one random power you get an Infinite Realms inhabitant," Cap said. "And those two didn't even use any of their powers to capture Klarion other than flight and portaling. While they were dead tired."

Dr Fate picked up again with, "The Realms Inhabitants have vastly different ideas of what is and is not considered friendly. The easiest way to describe them is headache inducing."

Cap piped back up with, "That's not to mention that the only Realms Inhabitants that willingly leave their haunts are super powerful and it's a 50/50 chance that they're friendly in a 'will hit you instead of full on murdering you' sort of way. Whatever is going to happen to Klarion, I don't envy him."

"Klarion will probably be fine," Ra's stated, getting fed up over how long the meeting had been derailed. "Let's get on with the negotiation."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags: @sara0055 @ver-444 @mouzerequis @screamingtofillthevoid @seraphinedemort @cyber-geist @joseph557 @mirellacoco @silverthreadedhatter976 @glacticrose

Sleep deprived danny and dani

So dani was coming to visit danny, and it was going good

Until a new threat interrupted them

Danny wanted to deal with it on his own but dani after traveling for so long had developed some new powers and skills she wanted to show off so she pestered danny until he agreed

Now the threat wasn't strong, either of them could have taken him out, buuuuuut he had a artefact that could travel the infinite realms

Now even if the threat is outside of amity park they cant just let an artefact like that still be in his possession

And because of the time difference between the infinite realms while there only gone an hour in amity park, for danny and dani they've been chasing this fucker for a week straight

So after a week the asshole finally stops in this 1 universe and has been there for a while (they've given up on time awareness) (the guys been there for a month)

So they open a portal, beat she shit out of the guy for making them chase him like scooby doo and take back the artefact

However it was after that they saw where they were, it was a weird room with the "we love spandex club" in it and on the other side there were fruitloops who called themselves "the light"

Danny and dani look at eachother, dani makes sure they have the artefact and danny puts the guy they were chasing in soup time to interrogate later

They open a portal and leave for the sweet release of sleep

.

.

.

The light and the Justiase league are confused

They were trying to come to an agreement on something when a Lazarus pit opened and 2 white haired children came out

Klarion only got out the words "oh shit" before the twins proceded to beat the living shit out of him

They took an artefact that klarion had recently got, and they locked him in a ...thermos?

Before leaving

WTF