#but yeah my reading needs to be updated so i might do another one

[ms-demeanor]

Do you have thoughts about the changes to Firefox's Terms of Use and Privacy Notice? A lot of people seem to be freaking out ("This is like when google removed 'Don't be evil!'"), but it seems to me like just another case of people getting confused by legalese.

Yeah you got it in one.

I've been trying not to get too fighty about it so thank you for giving me the excuse to talk about it neutrally and not while arguing with someone.

Firefox sits in such an awful place when it comes to how people who understand technology at varying levels interact with it.

On one very extreme end you've got people who are pissed that Firefox won't let you install known malicious extensions because that's too controlling of the user experience; these are also the people who tend to say that firefox might as well be spyware because they are paid by google to have google as the default search engine for the browser.

In the middle you've got a bunch of people who know a little bit about technology - enough to know that they should be suspicious of it - but who are only passingly familiar with stuff like "internet protocols" and "security certificates" and "legal liability" who see every change that isn't explicitly about data anonymization as a threat that needs to be killed with fire. These are the people who tend not to know that you can change the data collection settings in Firefox.

And on the other extreme you've got people who are pretty sure that firefox is a witch and that you're going to get a virus if you download a browser that isn't chrome so they won't touch Firefox with a ten foot pole.

And it's just kind of exhausting. It reminds me of when you've got people who get more mad at queer creators for inelegantly supporting a cause than they are at blatant homophobes. Like, yeah, you focus on the people whose minds you can change, and Firefox is certainly more responsive to user feedback than Chrome, but also getting you to legally agree that you won't sue Firefox for temporarily storing a photo you're uploading isn't a sign that Firefox sold out and is collecting all your data to feed to whichever LLM is currently supposed to be pouring the most bottles of water into landfills before pissing in the plastic bottle and putting the plastic bottle full of urine in the landfill.

The post I keep seeing (and it's not one post, i've seen this in youtube comment sections and on discord and on tumblr) is:

Well-meaning person who has gotten the wrong end of the stick: This is it, go switch to sanguinetapir now, firefox has gone to the dark side and is selling your data. [Link to *an internet comment section* and/or redditor reactions as evidence of wrongdoing].

Response: I think you may be misreading the statements here, there's been an update about this and everything.

Well-meaning (and deeply annoying) person who has gotten the wrong end of the stick: If you'd read the link you'd see that actually no I didn't misinterpret this, as evidenced by the dozens of commenters on this other site who are misinterpreting the ToU the same way that I am, but more snarkily.

Bud.

Anyway the consensus from the actual security nerds is "jesus fucking christ we carry GPS locators in our pockets all goddamned day and there are cameras everywhere and there is a long-lasting global push to erode the right to encrypt your data and facebook is creating tracking accounts for people who don't even have a facebook and they are giving data about abortion travel to the goddamned police state" and they could not be reached for comment about whether Firefox is bad now, actually, because they collect anonymized data about the people who use pocket.

My response is that there is a simple fix for all of this and it is to walk into the sea.

(I am not worried about the updated firefox ToU, I personally have a fair amount of data collection enabled on my browser because I do actually want crash reports to go to firefox when my browser crashes; however i'm not actually all that worried about firefox collecting, like, ad data on me because I haven't seen an ad in ten years and if one popped up on my browser i'd smash my screen with a stand mixer - I don't care about location data either because turning on location on your devices is for suckers but also *the way the internet works means unless you're using a traffic anonymizer at all times your browser/isp/websites you connect to/vpn/what fucking ever know where you are because of the IP address that they *have* to be able to see to deliver the internet to you and that is, generally speaking, logged as a matter of course by the systems that interact with it*)

Anyway if you're worried about firefox collecting your data you should ABSOLUTELY NOT BE ON DISCORD OR YOUTUBE and if you are on either of those things you should 100% be using them in a browser instead of an app and i don't particularly care if that browser is firefox or tonsilferret but it should be one with an extension that allows you to choose what data gets shared with the sites it interacts with.

[feyburner]

I ??? woke up at 3am with this scene fully written in my mind palace and quickly jotted it down in the Notes app

*

Clark’s shaking his head before he realizes he’s doing it, and feels a twinge of embarrassment at his own bad manners when Bruce stops mid-word to look at him, brows raised.

“No?” he says.

“No,” Clark says, again without thinking, and again with the reflexive urge to apologize. Somewhere his mother is tutting without knowing why. But he doesn’t apologize, because he’s already saying, “No, it can’t—it can’t be that.”

“Okay,” Bruce says slowly. “Can you elaborate?”

He is, honestly, having trouble taking his eyes off the screen. The mockup design of his new suit is there, dark and sleek, ridged like tactical gear. The blue is like the last shade of evening before you can’t call it evening anymore, the color of nine PM in Kansas in July, so exact there’s a strong chance Bruce color-picked it from a photo. The yellow accents are the cool fluorescent yellow-green of lightning bugs. The red is dark as arterial blood. Every aspect of the suit has been updated—the colors deeper, the angles sharper, the S extending to the corners of its frame—but Bruce has done it without changing the fundamentals. It’s immediately recognizable as the Superman suit, just… well, a little cooler, maybe. A little more of the times. Even the tailoring is modernized. The neckline. The shape of the boots. Where the belt hits at the waist. Clark can tell just by looking that Bruce has not only spent a lot of time on this in general, he’s spent a lot of time designing it specifically with Clark in mind, Clark’s needs and preferences and the small discomforts of his current suit, things he might have mentioned offhand after a mission but never with the assumption that Bruce was listening or filing it away. No doubt the next slides of this presentation will detail all the hidden features of the new suit, and they’ll all be incredibly thoughtful if not slightly overkill, and Bruce will pretend his sole motive here was practicality and risk reduction and respond to any thanks with a curt nod.

And Clark wants to thank him. He will. It’s just.

“It can’t be… cool,” he says, inane. Bruce is watching him with that steady look that used to feel clinical, piercing, and now mostly reads as attentive. “It can’t be—like yours. Tactical, military-grade.”

“Lightyears beyond, actually.”

“It has to—Ma said once, a kid should be able to draw it with crayons. You know? I can’t look like a weapon. I have to—I want to look like a friend.”

He can feel himself flushing. It’s rare that he speaks like this, and rarer still that he does so while being stared at intently. Bruce may think of himself as the darkness, but his gaze is a spotlight: unwavering and revealing and more a little sweat-inducing, for one reason or another.

“Sometimes, when I show up, people laugh,” Clark says. “If it’s somewhere out of the way, where they haven’t seen me before. I show up and I look like a festival performer. It’ll be the worst day of their lives, and they’ve got no reason to trust my face, but when they see what I’m wearing—it goes from ‘Who are you?’ to ‘Who is this guy?’ And that’s a good thing.”

“Hard to be afraid of a man dressed in primary colors,” Bruce says, almost to himself.

“Exactly.”

“I see. Thank you,” he says, “for explaining.”

Clark tries not to show how surprised he is to hear that. Judging by the crook of Bruce’s mouth, his success is negligible. “Of course. Sorry I didn’t—I mean, thank you, obviously, for going to such trouble. I didn’t mean to come in here and—I really do appreciate it, I can tell you put a lot of work in—”

Bruce’s eyes cut away. “No. No need. I didn’t ask, before I…. It was only a first draft. If you’re amenable, I’ll incorporate your feedback into the second one.”

“Oh! Yeah. Yes, of course, but you really don’t have to—”

“If you have any further notes, I would like to hear them.”

There’s something determined in the lines of his face. Clark has the sense that this moment is important, that it’s a turning point, even if he’s not sure why. It feels like striking out into a sea of ice, a blank white expanse under which something precious and vital is hidden, has been hidden all along, just waiting for him to find it. To want to.

“Sure,” he says. He looks back at the suit and swallows, and knows Bruce will see the flicker of his throat and take some meaning from it, and wishes he knew what the meaning was. Or maybe Bruce won’t notice or read into it at all. Maybe Clark needs to calm down, in fact. “Um. I don’t want to assume, but does it… do things?”

“It does things,” Bruce confirms, after the barest pause. “Let me show you the next slide.”

[kisses4themissus]

Little Lady | M.R x Reader

a/n: teehee tell me yall's thoughts on this one!! also mid way through the chapter i was so upset because it dawned on me i unknowingly set the fic in the winter.. pairing: Michael "Robby" Robinavitch X Single Mom! Reader wc: 2.8k Warning; semi-proof read, mention of car crash

Previous | Masterlist | Next

The phone on your desk rang once more, making you groan before picking it up.

“ICU.” You responded monotone. 

“Robby’s asking again if there’s a bed up there, he’s claiming you're hoarding beds up there.” Dana sighed, watching as Robby leaned forward, attempting to hear you.

You groaned, looking around the unit; all of the rooms were full. “Yeah I'm shoving them up my ass, no we don't have any available.” You responded sarcastically; you ignored the flutter in your stomach as you could hear robby’s laughter in the back.

“Knew it, thanks again.” Dana quickly hung up the phone. 

You playfully rolled your eyes before going back to your medical journal. There was now an obvious shift between yourself and robby; no longer was there petty bed hoarding or unstable patients sent up out of spite. It was eerily calm with you both.

 - - - - - - - -

“Dude in 568 is clear for progressive care.” A respiratory nurse told you as she tossed her gloves into the trash outside the door and then went over to the open sink and scrubbed her hands.

You chuckled and nodded before picking up the phone, paging robby.

“Dr. robby.” He greeted, the sounds of the trauma room in the background. 

“Lucky day, we have one available, needs to be cleaned so it’ll be a bit.” You sighed, balancing the phone on your shoulder as you updated patient files.

“I knew it, you were hoarding.” He joked, not noticing the looks of shock on the residents and nurses faces.

“He is on the phone with the ICU right?” Langdon muttered to princess who nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, alright go take care of your trauma paitent.” You hung up.

You sighed as you leaned back into your chair, luckily most of the ICU patients were settled for the time being. 

Thankfully with it being calm you pulled out your phone and smiled at the photos your mom had sent. Lovebug had a wide smile as she had on her ballet tutu, standing outside of an audition room. Then another with your father, standing by his truck both grinning.

You turned off your phone, trying to motivate yourself to not grow bored.

 - - - - - - - -

Robby sighed as he drank out of his thermos, glancing up at the board.

Dana sighed as she had the desk phone tucked between her shoulder and chin. “Two car crash victims incoming.” 

Robby nodded and placed down the cup and turned as the EMTs walked in and explained the driver had gotten a heart attack mid drive.

“Take him to trauma two.” Robby pointed to the room, before turning to the other EMT. “Where’s the other victim?” He asked, only to get his answer very quickly of a little girl on a gurney. 

“Actually, dr. Robby meet the driver’s hero; his granddaughter Lacey, she managed to escape her carseat after the crash and got his phone to call 9-1-1.” The female EMT smiled at the little girl with comfort.

Robby had a quick flash of shock on his face before warmly smiling at the little girl. “Vital’s are normal, so we’re guessing she might have minor whiplash.” The EMT filled Robby in.

“Hi Lacey, I'm dr. Robby, are you hurting anywhere?” Robby asked softly as the five year old nodded and pointed to chest.

“My seatbelt pulled me back, and my head hurts.” She explained, her tiny hands clutching the stuffed rabbit on the bed. “Ok, i’m gonna have one of my best doctors look over you ok, i’m gonna go help your grandpa then i’ll be back.” Lacey nodded at robby and sighed as Dana helped move Lacey to a hospital bed.

“Do you want some water?” Dana asked, Lacey lifted her head and nodded.

“Please, and with ice.” Lacey rubbed the rabbit’s stuffed ear as she asked.

Dana smiled and nodded at her request, feeling her heart melt a bit from the child’s manners. Getting a tiny cup of water and ice chips, she flagged down mohan. “Got a case for you; six year old, she’s with the trauma two patient.” Dana debriefed Mohan who nodded, taking the water and ice.

“Robby said after he helps her grandpa, he’d come back to see her.” 

Samira nodded and walked into the small room with a soft smile as Lacey sat on the bed playing with her rabbit. “Hi there, i’m doctor mohan can you tell me your name?”

The little girl smiled and said her full name. “Very pretty name, i brought you some water and ice chips for now, is it ok if i check to make sure nothing serious happened to you?” Samira asked, setting down the water and ice on the small tray in the room before grabbing a pair of gloves.

Lacey took a sip of water and nodded.

Mohan quickly did her assessment before going to order a CT scan.

Once again entering the room, Mohan sat down beside the little girl and began to keep her company like Dana had hoped.

“So how old are you lacey?” Mohan asked, taking note of the pale pink tutu and tights.

“I just turned five a few months ago.” She smiled before picking up the rabbit and raising it to her ear before giggling and turning to mohan. 

“She likes your hair!” Lacey giggled, making samira’s heart melt.

“Well tell her, I just love her ribbons.” Mohan played along. “What’s your friend’s name here?” She asked, Lacey proudly propped up the rabbit on her lap.

“Her name is June, like my birthday! My pop-pop gave her to me for my first ballet recital.” Lacey explained.

Mohan chuckled, noticing donnie outside with an IV, slightly cringing before standing up to help put it in.

Both donnie and mohan were shocked to see how well lacey has taken the IV, just closing her eyes and turned her head as the needle poked her skin.

“You're so brave!” Mohan encouraged as donnie flushed the IV before stopping for it to be clear for the CT dye.

 - - - - - - - -

Robby sighed as he exited the trauma room, rubbing sanitizer on his hands as he walked towards the room where Lacey was placed. He stopped in the doorway with a smile as he watched mohan had her phone propped up playing some kids show while her and Lacey colored a cartoon bear.

“Dr. Mohan, how is my tiny friend doing?” Robby asked, smiling as Lacey quickly flipped over her coloring page and would contrine to draw something on the blank backing.

“Good, CT came back clear, she had a headache so i gave her some kids tylenol and i’ve been keeping her busy just in case she has a concussion from the carseat.” Mohan quickly debriefed, turning off the cartoons on her phone.

Robby nodded and motioned for the door. 

Samira nodded and got up and walked outside with robby. “She can be discharged, we were able to get a hold of his daughter in-law, said she’d tell his children and pick up lacey.” Robby gave Samira a run down, she nodded and quickly walked to the nearest desk to start the discharge paperwork.

Robby walked back into the room, smiling as Lacey looked up and smiled before going back to coloring.

Lacey quietly placed down her crayon and bit her lip as she looked up at robby. “Is pop-pop gonna be ok?” She asked, clasping her hands together in her lap, robby’s felt tugging at his heart.

With a heavy sigh, Robby sat down beside the bed and looked at Lacey and nodded. “He might just be a bit weak for a bit, but he’ll get stronger, he was proud to hear about how brave you were during the crash.” Robby added, remembering the old man's grin at the news his granddaughter swooped in like a hero.

“Will he be better by christmas?” She asked, making Robby nod.

“Oh good!” She grinned down at her hands. “Your grandpa said you’re a ballerina?” Robby’s question put a spark in that little face.

She perked up and nodded, moving the warm blanket on her lap back, to show her pale pink tights and tutu. “I’m gonna be in the nutcracker!” She told Robby confidently. “Oh yeah, what are you gonna do for the show?” He asked, leaning in, placing his elbows on his knees.

“I’m a rat and a petal!” She said excitedly, making Robby laugh at her first role. 

“A rat?” He asked, a slight teasing tone stuck in the back of his throat.

“Mmhm, and we get to run on stage and play for a bit.” She explained, making Robby chuckle. “Are you excited to perform?”

Lacey shrugged, “I’ve been a rat before, my grammy said that– that she hopes I'll be a good petal.” 

Robby nodded, Lacey tapped her shoes together, “My mommy was Clara when she was little.” Lacey added, making Robby raise a brow. “Who’s clara?” His question made the little girl look at him with wide eyes.

Lacey had explained the nutcracker the best she could as a five year old. Telling Robby how her grandmother owned the ballet studio, and how her grandmother would tell stories to all dancers of her daughter; the prima ballerina.

“I think that when I like ballet.” Lacey concluded.

“Sounds like you’re from a talented family.” Robby complimented, as he went to talk some more a knock on the door made the pair look over to see samira with a middle aged woman beside her.

“Oh buggie, you doing ok?” She rushed over to the five year old who nodded, and smiled. 

Robby took the discharge paperwork from samira and handed it to the woman, noticing the woman’s appearance; a ballet studio jacket wrapped around the lady’s waist.

“Vital’s are holding well, she just had a minor headache from the crash but some kids tylenol should fix it, other than that, miss lacey is here is set to go!” Robby smiled down at the little girl who nodded at his words.

“What do you say honey?” The older woman tilted her head towards both samira and robby’s direction. Lacey smiled. “Thank you for taking care of me.” She bowed her head before reaching for the woman to pick her up.

“Um, i called his kids, they should be down here sometime soon.” The woman informed Robby who nodded and smiled at the news.

Robby nodded at the news before smiling to lacey. “You have a good nutcracker show, and be good for your mom!” Robby pointed at the little girl, not seeing her look of confusion as he pointed to her aunt when talking about her mom.

Exiting the room, robby walked back to the staff room for more coffee.

 - - - - - - - -

Dana’s eyes widened as the staff elevators opened to show an un-ideal pair, the neurological attending and the top cardiology resident.

Both walking up to the central desk, they both sighed at Dana's look. “What a hellish duo, what poor soul needs both of you..?”

The cardiologist laughed; dr. Joseph laughed, “Your car trauma patient is our dad.” 

Dana chuckled before pointing the two in the direction of the room.

“Where’s primadonna?” The neurological attending, dr. Thomas asked. “Running late, like usual..” Both joked before entering the trauma room.

With a heft sigh, robby walked to central and raised an eyebrow as you ran out of the staff elevators, panting as you slid up to central.

“You alright?” Robby asked, noticing the frantic look.

“Yeah, yeah just peachy!” you muttered before making your way to the trauma room, robby following behind you.

As you opened the doors, the two gazes of your brothers landed on you. “There she is..finally.” Thomas playfully scoffed, making you walk over and smack the back of his arm, before smiling down at your father.

"Woah, did they find something I didn’t see?” Robby asked, as he entered the room to see you three surrounding the bed. “Dr. Robby, this is our father.” Joseph smiled at the man’s shocked expression.

“You three?” He motioned for all three of you.

Your father chuckled at robby’s face, “My swimmers make doctors.” He joked, earning groans from all of you three.

“Gross.” Thomas squinted in disgust.

“That’s nasty dad...” You gagged.

“La la la, I don't hear anything!” Joseph covered his ears, shaking his head like a child.

Robby laughed, and patted the older man’s leg. “You make the hospital’s best doctors.” He complimented, you smirked at robby. “Careful robinavitch, sounds like a compliment.” You teased before rubbing your father’s head in comfort. “It might be one..dr. glinda” He teased, neither of you seeing the looks exchanged by your family members

“The question now is, what floor is taking him up?” Robby asked, crossing his arms 

“Neurology can take him.” Thomas sighed, making you laugh. “And say what to Gloria, he’s there cause he has a headache?” Your words make Thomas roll his eyes before pushing you lightly.

“I can check if we have a bed available.” Joseph suggested, already reaching for his pager.

“The ICU has an open bed now.” You raised an eyebrow at Robby who made a face of uncertainty. “I think cardiology might be the safest option at least for now.” Robby nodded, waiting as your brother began talking to a nurse.

As you stood next to the trauma bed you froze, Lacey was in the car with him.

“Where’s the other passenger that was with him?” You asked, your panic rising.

Thomas looked up equally as nervous. “She was just released, no abnormalities.” Robby filled you both in, watching as relief washed over you both.

“Marissa took her to the studio with mom, and we have a fresh clean room with dad’s name on it.” Joseph nodded, you bit your lip at the news.

“She’s a brave girl, EMT’s said she escaped her carseat and managed to find your dad’s phone and called for an ambulance.” Robby’s words make you perk up, a small smile on your face.

“Oh babybug..” You muttered, quickly searching for your phone before leaving the room and towards the ambulance bay.

“Is she alright?” Robby asked, a bit worried, both of your brothers nodded. “Yeah, she just needs a minute, perfect time to switch him to our floor.” Joseph shrugged, making Robby chuckle before nodding.

 - - - - - - - -

As you walked outside of the ambulance bay, you stopped and sat down by the bushes, scrolling through your contact’s till you spotted your sister in law.

As the phone rang your foot began to tap the cement. 

A tiny tap made you glance up and sigh in relief. Lovebug smiled at you, two pieces of paper in her hand, the other had her rabbit.

“Are you ok babybug?” You asked, running your hand over her little head. She nodded, making her tiny pigtails flop. “I wanted to give these to my friends.” she explained, handing you the papers. 

Marissa, your sister in law just chuckled. “She refused to leave the parking lot without giving them to someone to give them out.” She explained, earning a chuckle.

You checked over your daughter once more before letting her go. “How did auditions go?” You asked, making lacey giggle loudly. “I’m gonna be a rat and a petal!” She cheered, making you gasp before hugging her tightly. “Oh my goodness, I'm so happy for you!” You laughed.

You sighed, knowing it’d only be a few hours before you’d see lacey again at home. “Ok, i’ll let you and aunt marissa go back to the studio but i’ll pick you up in..about four more hours ok?” You told the little girl who nodded.

She took the paper and showed you each drawing of their names on the back.

“This is for the dr. mohan and this is for dr. robby!” She told you with a serious expression.

You nodded and giggled before waving them off to the parking lot.

Once you saw them very distant, you turned to the hospital and sighed, walking back in.

Robby stood at central, softly smiling at you. “You doing ok?” he asked, lightly bumping you. With a nod you sighed and leaned on the desk. “This is for you.” You handed him the paper, he looked at you confused. “Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna go find samira.” You smiled at him before walking away.

Both princess and Perlah sat at central, grinning at each other. “Do you think it's a love note?” Perlah asked in Tagalog

“Has to be..” Princess responded, both watching as Robby's face gained a soft smile.

He leaned against central, opening the folded paper, it had been a semi colored page, flipping it around robby grinned at the drawing.

It was a stick figure of Lacey in a bed with a stick figure of Robby beside her. The squiggly words written on top. 

“Thank you dr. robinavitch! - Lacey”

Robby chuckled, the little girl sure knew how to melt hearts, it was easy to tell both you and her were related..even though robby thinks she's your niece…

next pt!!!

robby taglist: @nerdgirljen @whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustrange @snowflames-world @evans-dejong @whimiscalfungiforager @kmc1989 @foolishseven @coffinheartz @itschelseacisneros @rhysology

[roosterforme]

Aim for the Sky Part 32 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You're struggling through your pregnancy, trying to stay calm as your worries about Bradley grow as quickly as the baby. Bradley wants to put his best foot forward at work, making himself available for office hours, but maybe he's made himself too accessible.

Warnings: Angst, adult language, body image, DILF Roo, smut, pregnancy topics, lactation kink, jealous

Length: 3400 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.

Bradley's new office was coming along nicely. Everything was standard issue Navy grade, but he started adding some touches here and there to make it look more personal. The file cabinet was covered in ultrasound photos, one column of Rosie and one of her younger sibling. 

He glanced at the wedding photo on his desk before adjusting it and wincing. You were still mad this morning that he overdid it at the Hard Deck last night, but he wished you would just let it go. It's not like he drove home drunk or anything. Nat and the guys were just excited to learn he was going to have another kid. The drinks just kept coming.

There was a knock on the door, and then Maverick poked his head inside. "You have a minute?"

"Yeah," Bradley replied, waving him inside. "It's not like I can tell you no. You're my commanding officer, Mav."

The older man chuckled, setting some folders on the desk. "I need you to keep all of the forms updated for each of the pilots. It's best if you work on it every day and then update the hard copies. You should have time to do this between visits during your office hours."

Today was the first time Bradley was holding office hours, and honestly he felt a bit like a college professor: the aviators were kind of his students, and he was responsible for making sure they were prepared to fly.

"Not sure how busy my office hours will be," Bradley muttered. He should probably send a text to remind you he'd be home a little later than usual tonight. While he didn't want to make a habit of missing dinner with his girls, this was a far cry better than being deployed. 

"You might be surprised," Maverick replied with a smile as he backed toward the door. "You've got a lot to show the others, Lieutenant Commander."

Then he was gone, and Bradley could feel the warmth rising in his cheeks. He just wanted to prove himself, but the first time someone had him up against the wall, scrambling for an answer, he wasn't sure what he was going to do. He'd only started to advertise his extra hours during today's lecture, so it would probably be another week or so until someone came to him for any sort of guidance on a Monday evening. But he would try to be ready.

He was just opening one of the folders from Maverick when there was another knock on his door. This time when he looked up, he was met with a flight suit complete with a Golden Warriors patch identical to the one he wore. That would have been enough to let him know it was Indigo, but then he met her eyes as he stood up behind his desk.

"Lieutenant Jeffries," he greeted with a smile as she strode inside. "How can I help you?"

She studied his face with a knowing look for a few seconds before breaking out into a smile of her own. "Sir, I can think of so many ways you could help me. It's not even funny."

Bradley blinked, brow furrowed as he examined her. "Well, why don't you start with an easy one? It's been a long day. And something tells me you might be regretting the late start you got at the Hard Deck last night."

Her laughter filled the room. "I could never regret finding the officer hangout before the rest of my peers from Texas. I need to keep the edge I have over Rex and Spice." When she started to close the door, Bradley frowned.

"Keep it open," he said casually, reaching out to catch it before it shut. He didn't want anyone thinking he was playing favorites, and the little pout on Indigo's lips convinced him she wanted to be his favorite aviator. But she didn't argue. She simply sat down on the edge of the couch and looked up at him.

"The easiest way you can help me is by telling me where I can improve," she said, fingers toying with the zipper at her neck. "I want to be the best you've ever seen."

------------------------------

You couldn't tell if Cat was actually annoyed with you or if she was just teasing, but you were too exhausted from a restless night to care.

"I can't believe Bradley told Jake you're pregnant before you told me yourself! I just saw you last night!"

Her gaze dipped down to your belly as you stood before her in the lab. You knew you were showing. There was no denying it now. You had a bunch of appointments coming up with Dr. Morris, and you were just going to keep getting bigger until you had to wear the maternity tent again. You knew you were already huge and that you'd probably never be your normal size ever again. And the last thing you wanted was Cat Coleman of all people scrutinizing your appearance when she always looked pristine.

Everything was made worse by Bradley's interactions with Indigo. She was everywhere on base, but now she had taken over your bar, too. You saw her this morning but managed to duck out of the way before those piercing eyes landed on you. She knew what you looked like now, and Cat's gaze lingering on your belly was doing nothing to give you a boost of confidence.

"Please make sure you're eating and drinking enough," she told you. "We don't want another repeat of Annapolis where you could barely give a presentation. Or a repeat of the day you fell at work."

You gritted your teeth. "This pregnancy doesn't even feel like my last one. Okay? I'm eating just fine. Too well, actually."

You turned on your heel, boot squeaking on the floor and headed out to collect Rose from daycare. Everything was just a reminder of your size right now. Visions of candy bars danced in your head as you told yourself you'd go home and eat a sensible dinner while Bradley held his office hours. But you already knew... you just knew Indigo would squeeze her way in there with her pretty eyes and her perky tits. And your husband seemed to be oblivious to her. At least you'd tried to convince yourself he wasn't actively looking. But you knew she found him attractive. You could smell it on her a mile away.

Tears filled your eyes as you approached the daycare facility. If he was looking at her, you couldn't blame him. Indigo was beautiful, her body stunning even in her flight suit. Meanwhile you looked like an exhausted, lumpy, khaki-covered potato with acne and zero energy.

"Let's go home," you whispered to Rose, trying to smile at the daycare staff as you pushed her out in her stroller.

You were absolutely fine. You were totally fine. Or at least you would be. Or at least that's what you kept telling yourself.

But all week long, you heard the same collection of call signs spilling from Bradley's lips, and Indigo's was always the first one. She was the fastest, most cunning, smartest, most decisive pilot he'd ever flown with. Any time you asked him a question about work, she was the answer. And he was late coming home almost every day.

"Hey, Sweetheart. Sorry, I had to stay in the infirmary with Spice after she strained her shoulder," he said, rushing inside on Friday night as you made dinner. "She couldn't even raise her arm to get her helmet off."

He kissed your cheek, letting his hand rest on your belly for a beat before he ended up on the floor next to Rose's play mat where she was trying her hardest to crawl to Tramp. As soon as Bradley showed up, she changed her mind and tried to get to him instead.

You pressed your lips together as you turned off the stove burner. "Did anyone else stay with you and Spice?"

"Yeah, Indigo hung out," he replied easily, brushing his fingers along Rose's hair with a smile. You swallowed hard, watching him on his hands and knees in his khaki uniform. He looked so good. Like ridiculously good. Broad shoulders and big biceps and a handsome smile.

"Why am I not surprised?" you muttered, turning away from him.

"I think they're friends," he said. "It's kind of amusing getting to experience the love and hate dynamics amongst the group. The women tend to stick together on the ground, but anything goes in the air."

Your stomach ached with hunger pangs, and the only thing you wanted to eat was ice cream. When you realized you'd eaten a frozen burrito barely an hour ago, you desperately wanted to go to bed hungry, but you started to feel guilty about the baby.

"My parents listed their house today," you announced, trying to change the subject before you started to cry.

"Did you hear that, Nugget?" Bradley scooped Rose up in his arms and carried her into the kitchen where you were plating two meals. "Your grandparents are moving here to spend more time with you. And next summer, we'll take you and your little brother or sister back to Virginia to see where ol' Goose and Carole used to live, okay?"

He peppered her face with kisses until she was giggling wildly, and every negative thought started to get fuzzy around the edges. When his brown eyes met yours, you nodded toward the table, and his arm slipped around your waist.

-----------------------------

Bradley came home from his office hours on Monday to find you wearing only his old UVA shirt. The soft cotton was hugging your bump and showing off your legs, and he was ready to get on his knees and beg for you.

After he put Rose in her crib for the night, he met you in bed where you were wearing your glasses, your face freshly scrubbed. He was plainly getting hard in his gym shorts the more he looked at you. It was so obvious. When you stood on your knees and coaxed him closer with your finger, he met you there.

"I hope you know how good you have it, Roo," you whispered against his lips.

He knew. He knew all about it. He let his hand slide down over your belly, keeping you in place when you tried to scoot away. Then his fingers slowly yanked up the hem of his shirt until he was touching your pussy. 

"Of course I know it, Baby Girl." He circled your clit with his middle finger before slipping it inside you. "I've got my Rosie. And my hot, pregnant wife with her perfect pussy." When you whimpered, he kissed your nose. "I've got it all."

You dragged the shirt up over your belly and chest, tossing it aside. For a beat, Bradley went completely dizzy at the sight of your tits. Then you made everything better by placing your hands on your breasts, working them until beads of milk appeared. Your head was tipped back, pussy squeezing his middle finger, and Bradley almost lost his mind.

His kisses were rough. He knew it. But you were whining Roo as he got undressed, and then you were guiding his lips to your tits. He had to have it dirty. His cock was so fucking hard, he needed to make you scream.

"Oh, fuck," he growled as his lips grazed your nipple, lapping up your milk until he thought he was going to pass out. Every inch of your body was so sweet and supple, but he wanted you babbling and begging.

Bradley meticulously cleaned you up until you were clinging onto him, then he pushed you onto your back. Without hesitation, he started fucking you. When you needed a hand over your mouth to keep from waking Rose, he was all too happy to help. When you spread your legs wider, he watched his cock glide inside your welcoming body over and over again until he felt his orgasm in his balls.

"Shit. I'm gonna cum," he groaned, waiting until you nodded against his palm to lose himself. Hips thrusting, filling you with shallow strokes, he fucked you until your pussy was dripping. He watched the mess he made dribble down your ass before catching it with his fingertips. "I swear I don't think I can keep my cock out of you long enough for you to not be pregnant ever again."

You snorted before reaching for his hand and bringing it to your lips. "After this one, I'm going right back on the pill. No more slip ups," you whispered. Bradley watched as your tongue darted out, licking his sticky cum and swallowing every drop.

"No more slip ups," he echoed, smiling at your belly. He'd never consider this a mistake. Not in a million years. A surprise? Absolutely. But not a mistake.

Bradley's phone lit up where it had been discarded on the floor when you slipped into the bathroom. He had a text from an unknown number with a Virginia area code. At first, he thought it might be his cousin Brenda letting him know she had a new phone number, but when he opened the message, his brow creased in confusion at first.

Lieutenant Commander, thanks for spending so much time with me today in your office today.

Only three people had been in his office with him earlier. One was Maverick. One was Forrest who he had to reprimand. The third was Indigo. Bradley hadn't been giving out this number, but it was readily available if anyone wanted to look through the registry in the lobby of the building where his small office was housed.

He scratched the rough stubble along his jaw, contemplating if he should respond after nine in the evening. He saved her number under her call sign and tossed his phone on the bed when you walked back in with a smile on your face. He should wait until the morning to respond if at all.

You yawned when he passed you. "I'm ready for bed, Roo."

"Give me a minute to brush my teeth, and I'm right behind you."

---------------------------

By the end of the week, your parents had two offers on the house where you were raised. They were officially downsizing to a cute bungalow a few streets over in Coronado, and you were excited. Or you wanted to be.

But every time you let your heart fill with happiness over your parents or the baby, you remembered that Indigo was texting your husband. You saw it for yourself. Right after he fucked you so good, you could barely walk, you glanced down at his phone on your bed. He had her number saved in his phone, and you wanted to cry.

You could ask him for permission to look at his phone. You could see what his reaction was. That would give you a good gauge of what exactly was going on between them. But Bradley had never once asked you to hand your phone over to him. He'd ever insinuated that there would be a reason he didn't trust you. 

Unsure what else to do, you sat in your office during your lunch break and cried. The tears were hot and miserable on your cheeks, and a headache instantly started brewing behind your eyes. It took you almost ten minutes to get yourself under control, and by then you didn't even feel like going to the cafeteria for food.

When someone knocked, you looked up at your door. Maybe it was Bradley. Maybe you could get his phone from him somehow and check it yourself. "Come in," you called, voice soft from all the tears you'd shed. Instead of your husband, Jake strolled inside. "Did you get lost? Cat's probably in the lab."

"Aww, come on, Angel," he drawled, dropping down into your extra chair. "I came all the way up here to see you."

"Oh." You were a little surprised. Everyone was so busy as the last quarter of the year was beginning, you felt like you hadn't seen much of him.

"Why do you look so sad?" he asked, already leaning forward to stand again. "Want me to grab you and the baby something to eat and bring it up here?"

"No," you told him quickly. "I'm fine. Just a little stressed." You tried to smile, but you felt like you could cry again. "Are you having a slow day?"

"Nah." He leaned back with his arms crossed over his chest. "Just had to get away from your annoying husband and his band of misfits clogging up the comms with their exercises."

"Band of misfits?" you asked with a soft laugh.

"Bunch of children," he replied with an eye roll. "Look like they just graduated from high school." His eyes went wide. "Oh shit, that probably means I look old now."

"You don't look too bad for someone older than me," you promised with a smirk. "Hey, do you know anything about any of those new pilots?"

"I know they like to hog the line in the cafeteria. One of them took the last slice of pizza yesterday, and I had to wait for a new pie to finish baking. Food should be based on seniority. I outrank all of them."

You were laughing at his smile now. "Hey, maybe I should get something to eat. And it might be nice to get out of my office for a few minutes."

"I'll walk you down." Jake stood and helped you to your feet. "Can't hang out too long though. Mav has a fire under his ass about getting Phoenix, Bob and I in the air this afternoon."

You headed to the cafeteria with Jake, getting a chance to hear his side of the wedding plans after listening to Cat for weeks. They wanted something small and simple, but he assured you there would be room for the Bradshaws on the guest list. Once you had a tray piled high with a salad, breadsticks and once slice of pizza, you took a seat while Jake headed back out to the tarmac to get back to work.

Your lunch tasted incredible. The cheese from the pizza was practically melting in your mouth. When the cafeteria started clearing out, there were only a few tables occupied, and you started stacking the plates on your tray. You could have a calm, reasonable conversation with your husband. He'd let you look at his phone, and everything would be fine.

"Okay, but what's up with Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw?"

Your eyes darted up from your tray to find two officers sitting a short distance away. The one facing you had a patch on her flight suit that said SPICE, and you recognized her call sign from conversations with Bradley.

"He's hot, but he's wearing a wedding band," she added.

You swore your heart stopped at her words. Then you realized that the woman with her back to you was Indigo. Her jet black hair was wound up in a tight bun that accentuated her long neck even from behind, and her laughter set your teeth on edge.

"I already told you," she said, and you had to stop breathing to make sure you heard every word. "His wife is a civvy. I saw her at the bar the only night he showed up. They have one kid, and apparently she's pregnant again. At least that's what I heard Lieutenant Trace saying."

"What does his wife look like?" Spice asked, casually taking a sip of her drink as if your world wasn't crumbling to pieces.

"It was hard to tell in the dark, but her face seemed okay. Nice-ish body, but come on..." Indigo gestured to herself. "The man's only human, and his wife is definitely older than me. That much is easy to tell. And she'll be huge again soon."

You tried to get up from your seat quickly, fighting with yourself to get out of the room, but it was too late. Both of them were standing now, still chatting as Indigo turned your way. As soon as her eyes landed on your face, you saw them widen. That pretty blue color looked terrifying as a smile of recognition spread across her lips.

Indigo absolutely knew who you were now. Her eyes dipped down to the hyphenated name pinned against your chest, and now she knew you weren't a random civilian. She knew you were an officer who worked on North Island. She knew way too much as she took in every inch of your body. And she looked really pleased by what she saw.

-----------------------------

He has his sweet moments, but Roo doesn't see the bigger picture here. Next chapter will reveal if Rose is going to have a brother or a sister. Any guesses? Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 33

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[bonus-links]

rereading with the latest update to get caught up, and now I know its an option I am desperate for director's commentary on Ruins pt7, if you're willing, please

(Also I first started reading this before taking sign langauge classes, and while I am learning a different SL to ASL/whatever Slate is using, some things translate well. Which is to say I was very excited seeing Loft use thank you and other small signs, or recognising Slate's signs. Its very cool!)

OH AN OLDIE yeah sure!! i will do my best to remember wtf i was on about lol

first of all. this was posted in 2023. what do u mean it's 2025 and im only on ch2. explodes. ANYWAY.

I'm still proud of myself this this panel thing w the arrow lol where it's both coming towards the octorok and has already gone through it. this is something that didn't rlly end up making it into the final product but I don't think Slate actually makes a habit of just killing monsters willy nilly. I don't see him hunting down every monster in Hyrule after the calamity ends. He kills this octorok bc they antagonize the horses but also because. I needed an excuse for his bow to already be out HAHA

I have complicated feelings about the yiga and what their lore implies lol but for Slate's part, he has personal beef with them on account of how many times they're tried and nearly succeeded in killing him. I like to imagine the Yiga as both deeply goofy and also a serious threat at the same time lol, which i think sums up how Slate feels about them.

I did however want to take this opportunity to show his capacity to be a brutal fighter, the same way Loft is in the opening of ch1. Actually the idea for this scene even came about because in my own late-stage game I kept getting attacked by a blademaster literally every 2 feet in certain regions, and I was getting so frustrated by it I just started obliterating them with ancient arrows 💀 Slate using way more arrows than necessary was a nod to that. idk maybe this guy lived lol

this scene was also to spur comparisons between Slate and Loft's experiences. Loft is brutal with monsters, but he's never killed a human being. Realizing that the Yiga aren't monsters shocks him.

this is a failure of my own paneling bc I didn't have enough room on the page and refused to add another, but Loft is hallucinating this guardian being active. all the guardians are inactive since defeating the calamity. actually what I should have done was add a red targeting line that then disappeared in the next panel. MAN.

alright and probably what you actually wanted commentary on, first Champion sighting! The first time Slate actually sees Champion is at the end of ch1, so if you're wondering if Slate knows he's there in this scene, the answer is no. I think rather than following Slate around all along, Champion has spent most of his time just sort of. barely existing here at Fort Hateno, or sitting with the master sword. He's not exactly like the ghosts of the other champions, or King Rhoam. sorry buddy :-(

i do have a bonus comic the works re: ghost lore that I will hopefully finish. someday so I think that might answer some questions ppl have. and possibly introduce a few more. but on the whole I like to keep whatever's going on here a little ambiguous. like I said in this update's commentary, one part literal and one part metaphorical. maybe two parts metaphorical lol

I think that's all I got for this one!

[maddiesentmehere118]

Between the Sirens

An offshoot of A Stranger's Jacket Series. Can be read as a one shot. Warnings below the cut.

Evan Buck Buckley x Plus Size Reader!

Word Count: 2k

Author's Notes: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 8. Might update this, not sure. With the plot up in the air regarding Bobby, I don't want to jump the gun. But I had to get this out of my head.

Masterlist | Taglist

Warnings: needle, bodily fluids, cursing, talks of death

You had just put your niece Jee and daughter Evelyn down for bed when you got the phone call. The house is quiet, almost too quiet. And you haven’t heard from Buck all day. When your phone rings, you brighten instantly.

“Hi handsome. I was getting worried about you. How’s your shift? I just put the girls down in our bed, since you won’t be home until the morning. But I think I’m going to have to fight our daughter for my body pillow.”

“You haven’t seen the news?”

The world starts to tilt.

“I don’t want you to freak out when I tell you this. Could you uhm, sit down for me?”

Your mind kicks into overdrive. Is he hurt? Is someone on the team hurt? What could have happened that gained news coverage?

“Yeah.” You softly murmur, heading towards the couch to lower yourself down. You keep a hand on your belly, wincing. 

“Are you okay?”

Your back has been in pain all day, starting as a dull ache to a spasming pressure. You didn’t want to add stress to Buck while he was at work. You’ve gone through labor before— this wasn’t it. 

“Yeah, it’s nothing. My back’s just been bothering me all day.”

“No contractions or cramping?”

“No Dr. Buck.” You laugh. When you’re not met with another laugh, you frown. “Buck, what’s wrong?”

“We responded to a biohazard fire in a lab.” His voice catches, breathy. You hear the soft rustle of his uniform as it rubs together. He’s pacing. “I’m okay. But Hen, Chim, and Bobby—” 

It sounds like he’s choking, clearing his throat before he continues. 

“They’re trapped. It’s not good.”

You gasp, bringing a hand up to your mouth. 

“What happened? Why did you guys respond? Shouldn’t it uh— someone more experienced with biohazards have done it?”

“We didn’t know the extent of the danger.”

“I—Buck. Should I come down there? I can—I’ll call May to watch Jee and Evelyn. I need to be with you.”

“As much as I want you here, it’s safer for you at home. I don’t want you on your feet more than you need to be.”

“I can’t just sit here, Buck! That’s my family too!”

You hear chatter in the background. Then you hear that honey -smooth voice- firm, effortless, controlling the room without raising her voice. 

“Give me Athena, now.”

“Babe, they’d want you to stay at home with the girls.”

“Evan, put Athena on the damn phone.” 

You hear some hushed discussion and the sounds of the phone being handed over before her honey like voice pours through the line. 

“Hey. I heard from a little birdie that you wanted to come down here.”

“Yes, tell him it’s okay for me to go down there. I’ll call—”

“Sunshine, you and I both know that he’s right.” She cuts you off. Her voice is soft, much more vulnerable than normal, tone wavering slightly. “You’re pushing nine months pregnant, sister.”

“Athena.”

“This isn’t a negotiation. It’s a command. You understand me, baby?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I’m going to hand you back to Buck, okay? We will keep you updated, but everything is going to be okay. You rest for your sake and that baby’s, got it?”

“I will.”

You make out a relieved thank you from Buck. You’d been doing so good at holding back your tears. This pregnancy you had been a hormonal mess, and everything made you cry. Hearing the seriousness in Athena’s voice, where she wasn’t trying to protect you from the high stakes of the situation, made it sink in. 

“I know this is scary. But I promise, we’ll get through this. But please, try to get some rest. How are you feeling, Mama?”

Your heart warms at that. You grab the arm of the couch, pushing yourself up. Then you waddle over to the kitchen, each sway of your hips sending pain down your nerve.

“She’s been pretty calm today. As you can guess, she sensed her daddy talking because she’s slowly moving around now.”

“That’s my girl.” He laughs, but you can tell it’s forced. “Make some tea and put that magnesium cream on your back. Hell, if you can’t reach it, wake Evie up. You know she’ll love rubbing it on your skin.”

“Our little helper.” You breathe out, reaching for a mug. You stifle a cry, swallowing down the pain as it shoots down to your pelvis. “I’m going to let you go. I’ll be okay. Making my tea right now.”

“Listen, I love you— and the girls. Give Jee and Evie a kiss for me.”

“We love you too, Buck.” You hold your belly as tears flow freely down your cheeks. If he doesn’t come home, you don’t know how you’ll hold your family together. “Please come home to us.”

“I promise.”

And as you bid your goodbyes, you hold that to him. You don’t think you’d ever forgive the universe if someone, something, took him from you. You still had a lifetime to go— and you needed him for it.

After the call ends, silence crushes you. You somehow manage to get the cream on your lower back and hip before settling into bed, sipping on tea.

Small breaths serve as white noise. You watch the two girls sleeping peacefully, chests rising and falling steadily. You try to relax, not to think about Buck and the 118. But no matter how hard you try to follow their breathing, your heart pounds in your ears, plagued with heartburn and nausea. 

They had a busy day today at the Preschool Easter bash. It was three hours filled with giggles and bunny festivities, carefree and the happy children running around. Now both of the girls sleep peacefully, unaware that their fathers are in danger— and you plan to keep it that way. 

Evie’s curls, which she inherited from her dad, cover her forehead. Jee-Yun is stretched out, her arm splayed across her cousin. 

When you lean over to peck their foreheads, your muscles spasm. A cry ripples through the air as you clutch the nearest pillow, your fingers turning white as they dig in.

“Fuck.” 

“Daddy?” 

You glance down, pushing through the pain to brush your hand over your daughter’s forehead. 

“Not yet. Go back to sleep baby.”

She nuzzles back into the pillow, tugging the blanket up to her chest.

This was the worst possible timing— but the pain wasn’t waiting. You needed to get to the hospital. Now. 

Carefully, you reach for the phone. Your skin feels tight, sweat coating your chest. You’re sobbing as you dial 911.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“I’m thirty-six weeks pregnant, and I’m in a lot of pain— my back, my pelvis—” You cry out, as a contraction squeezes your spine, lightning-like pain shooting to your hips.  “Please, please get me Maddie Buckley-Han. She’s my sister!”

“Can you tell me your address?”

“Ugh” You whimper, closing your eyes. “Get me Maddie, please.“

“She’s currently on the line with the first responders at the lab explosion.”

“Let her know, now!” You grit out. You don’t have time to wait. You’re in too much pain, getting short and irritated. “My husband, Evan Buckley is at the scene, and I swear to god, If you don’t get me my sister in law right now—”

“I’m getting her.”

You groan out a thank you. You feel the bed shifting, one of the girls stirring. You barely register your name being said by Maddie. 

“It hurts Maddie.”

“Okay, tell me what’s wrong.”

“My back’s spasming. It hurts so bad, fuck! My nerve, my pelvis.”

“I’m sending an ambulance to you right now. I’ll call a sitter to pick them up at the hospital. Do you want me to call May?”

“Yes!” You grunt out, throwing your body to the side as another spasm starts. You wrap your body around the pillow in an effort to take pressure off your spine. “Maddie, what if the baby comes? It’s too early.”

“Hey, even if she comes now, she’ll be okay. She’s a fighter, just like her parents. The hospital will do everything they can to take care of you and the baby, okay?”

“Don’t tell him, Maddie. Not yet. He can’t worry about this.”

“Sunshine, he deserves to know.”

“I know, but— fuck!” You groan. This time when your pelvis spasms, you feel a small amount of fluid being released. “Maddie, I— my water just broke.”

A beat of silence, then frantic typing. She’s switched over to dispatch.

“They’re almost there, hang in there for me.”

“I’m so sorry.”

You press your palm to the underside of your belly, trying to settle her. Trying to keep her in. 

You glance at the girls— still asleep, still safe. Still blissfully unaware. Still innocent.

“This is my fault. I know it’s not, but I can’t— I should have listened to my body!”

“Hey, this isn’t your fault. If anyone can do this, it’s you.”

You think of everything you have to fight for— Maddie, Buck, Evelyn, the baby. You have to believe it’ll be okay.

“The door’s locked.” You close your eyes, rolling onto your back, desperate to ease the pain ripping through you.

“It’s okay. They’ll get to you.”

“If anything happens to me…” You choke up, slowly coming to terms that something could go wrong. “Her name is Brynlee Madison.” 

“Don’t you dare.” Maddie’s voice breaks, the sound of sirens adding to the panic. “You are going to be fine! No one is dying today, do you hear me? If you give up— I swear, I’ll never forgive you.”

“Maddie—” You scream, your whole body tensing. The pain is excruciating, causing your vision to be clouded with black spots. 

“I said no!” Her voice is harsh, firm in her decision. Then it softens. “Hold on, please.”

The door crashes open before you even hear it.

“LAFD.”

“In here!” You whimper. Lena Bosko rushes in with a stretcher, followed by two men. Relief washes over you. Once Maddie hears help is there, she leaves the line.

“Hey Buckley.” She crouches down beside you. You wrap your fingers around her hand, squeezing tightly. She smiles, showing no signs of discomfort or shying away. You throw your head back, knees shaking as you tense up. “Hang in there, sweetheart.”

One man moves to the other side of the bed to monitor the girls, while the other hovers above Lena, preparing supplies.

“Are you nauseous?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. I’m going to start a line to stabilize you and ease some of those back spasms with some magnesium and something for that nausea. Okay?”

You give a grunt of approval. Your head lulls to the side, eyes finding Lena’s. 

“Must be the Buckley name. Can’t stay out of trouble.”

For a moment, a quick beat, the pain is forgotten as you laugh along with her. 

“Seriously, what is it with your family and dramatic entrances?”

“Keeps it interesting.”

Then, your arm is straightened out, but her grasp doesn’t waiver. She keeps whispering encouraging praises as the cold alcohol wipe is swiped against your hot skin. When the needle pierces your vein, you whimper.

“I know. You’re doing such a great job, Buckley.” You open your eyes, forcing yourself to not look at your arm. The man tapes the line in place. “There, the hardest part is over.” 

“When it kicks in, you may feel a bout of nausea or a flash of heat, but hopefully that medicine keeps it to a minimum.”

Surprisingly, as the girls wake up, they don't panic. They know that these people, dressed like their dads, are here to help, to be safe. 

The entire way to the hospital, Lena never lets go of your hand, making small talk with you, talking you through each painful contraction. 

“Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s my job.” She teases, pushing a stray hair away from your cheek. “Besides, we take care of our brothers and sisters— even their spouses. You’re one of us, too.”

“Can you—” Your body violently jolts, your wail echoing inside the ambulance. The paramedic barks at the driver to push the limit. “Buck, he’s-”

You swallow hard, willing back tears.

“I've got you. I’m not going anywhere.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me know if there should be a part two!

[kibbles-bits]

any voxval fics you’d recommend?

Ah, yes, voxval fics... The one ship that finally made me cave and read explicit stuff. I am now numb to everything.

Everything.

I'll only be posting completed fics. Warnings, almost all of these are explicit. A couple also have Angel, you know, suffering.

And please mind the tags.

First off is a couple of favs that I always go back for a reread:

Corrupted Love by DoveFactory (Words: 149,495)

In a moment of blind desperation to one-up Alastor, Vox puts himself in a compromising situation that leaves him worse for wear. His state triggers something in Valentino who decides to change the nature of their relationship.

The title and summary of this is so misleading I thought it was going to be a dark fic but nope. The Vees are a bunch of goobers and Valentino always wins. I would scream about this every time it updated. I love the characterizations and their banter it almost made me forget there's sex in like every chapter. Honestly I wish there was more tags referencing the character/story stuff.

Virtual Reality by passthevoxcord (Words: 7,634)

Vox gets tired of his cybernetic biology being a barrier to his sex life, so he starts a new project to fuck Valentino in VR. Val will try anything once, but he has something else in mind.

This one ends up being so sweet I want to die. passthevoxcord's other fic, Only a Shadow, drives me nuts but its a WIP and hasn't actually gotten to the voxval yet.

choke behind a smile by gloriousmonsters (Words: 19,881)

"I'm not scared by extreme, although I doubt I'll find it interesting. What is it?" Valentino's eyes narrow slyly over his smile. "If you aren't scared, why do you need a warning?" Vox has everything under control in his new business partnership with benefits. His emotions, his unfortunate desires, the little mind games they play. Even Valentino himself. When Val offers an invitation to a special show he's performing, Vox knows it's a dare, and knows he has to take it, show Val that he can't be scared or destabilized. He has no idea of how deep under his skin the show will get.

Everyone's so normal. I love this Valentino. There's another Valvel fic that has the same Valentino I also recommend called bad girls go backstage.

Great Expectations by MarenRose (Words: 11,280)

“It’s his goal. Those three simple words. If he could get to hear them once, could let the reality of their meaning and spoken existence occupy his mind for only a few indiscernible moments, then maybe, Vox could learn to see the appeal of this god forsaken holiday. He might even learn to ‘love’ it too.” Or: Vox hates Valentine’s Days. His prick of a ‘wife’ is just too damn hard to please.

This miiiight have been the fic that made me Lock In on voxval? I'm not sure. It's sweet. Alastor is hilarious.

biting keeps your words at bay by Subedarling (Words: 1,511)

“You can’t hit me,” Valentino says. He’s practically vibrating with rage. “You’re not allowed to—you can’t hit me!” Vox sneers, cruel and mocking and hopefully masking the way his heart is breaking apart inside his chest. “Baby, I can do whatever the hell I want.” A decade into their partnership, Vox and Valentino have their first and last physical fight.

This might be the only non-explicit fic in this list. I am all for Val being the worst just because he's Like That. But I will not say no to an implied tragic backstory. I read this one a lot and want to die. Can I draw this. I want to draw this. Oh my god I have free time I can totally draw this...

And my other recs:

Just For The Record by PeppermintWalrus (Words: 13,795)

Vox is thrilled about his new film enterprise with his business partner, ready to build a lucrative empire for the denizens of hell to experience true cinema, in the only genre their depraved minds desire. There’s just one problem that he finds out too late; Valentino has never filmed porn before. Vox decides that some... hands-on teaching, is necessary to save their production.

Yeah you read that right.

a putrid feeling that i've addressed by spoondrifts (Words: 5,162)

They weren’t a couple because Valentino was pathologically noncommittal and Vox simply knew better. He tried the whole romance thing with a certain radio demon a few decades back, and he’d learned his damn lesson. Hell just wasn’t the place for that sort of cutesy bullshit. Also, he was pretty sure that Valentino was straight up incapable of love, which was both par for the course for Vox’s friendships and amazingly convenient—things couldn’t get complicated if there was nothing to complicate in the first place. Or: Full Moon, Vox/Val edition.

Haha I love pain. I lied, this is the second non-explicit fic.

Little Miss Hellion by DoveFactory (Words: 10,657)

Hell’s worst married couple spends a day of family bonding at a beauty pageant doing whatever it takes to make sure their daughter takes home the crown, because failure is never an option for the Vees. Pilot AU where Vox and Valentino are married and Velvette is their adopted daughter.

It's more Vees than voxval but they're married so.

The Art of Pimping by MarenRose (Words: 9,161)

Desperate to close a deal with one of the most lucrative investors in Pride, Vox does the unthinkable and pimps out Valentino for a one-time date. What could go wrong?

Val's attitude in this one is funny and Vox. Yeah. Vox made a mistake.

You Found Me by passthevoxcord (Words: 4,338)

Long before Velvette came along, it was just them. Vox and Valentino. Valentino and Vox.

Sobbing.

Something Less Than Dishonest by daphnerunning, Galiko (Words: 33,931)

He isn’t expecting the way Valentino walks, for some reason. Maybe it’s the extra limbs. Maybe it’s the wings. Maybe it’s the heels. Vox had skipped briefly through a few of the slut’s movies, for research, and isn’t expecting the way Valentino moves in person to feel so… Different. “…You must be my four o’clock,” he says, standing and offering a hand. Oh, shit, he’s huge. Valentino towers over him, easily would without the stripper heels. Vox is not afraid of heights.

Vox is so offensive in this it loops back around to hilarious.

Red Skies and Valentino by alternatedoom (Words: 86,050)

"Vox and I are special friends, doll. Go give him a kiss," Val says to the boy.

Angel does not have a good time. But the Voxval is nice.

before you go by xoTsundoku (Words: 4,426)

Before Alastor came into their lives, Vox and Valentino were happy. Maybe they still can be.

A Farewell to Ghosts by Accidental_Ducky (Words: 37,149)

"What do you think that is," Vox demands, pointing at the new guy. Valentino turns, eyes raking greedily over the man's body. He's gorgeous, skinny in a heroin chic way with big blue eyes and blond hair that falls just so across his eyes. "Hot." "Don't fucking call the ghost hot!"

The only human AU I've liked so far. Love the character interactions. Vox and Val are hilarious.

God I hope I didn't miss any. There's definitely some good WIP ones out there.

[5cherryblossom5]

smartass, kyle . b ୨୧ [3]

pairing:: kyle broflovski x fem!reader

synopsis:: kyle broflovski has been a pain in the ass since day 1. you hate him, probably more than he hates you, but you're gonna have to swallow your pride if you want him to tutor you for the worst subject known to man: calculus.

started 8/9/23 ↫

ongoing ↫

warnings:: excessive cussing, death of a parent, underage substance use, [will add tags w/ updates]

part 1 | part 2

"CHEMISTRY, A+ AVERAGE, PHYSICS, A+ Average, English, A+ Average...wow, you're one tough cookie, aren't ya?"

Sitting in Mr. Mackey's office was not how you wanted to start your morning. Honestly, you preferred to never be in his office at all.

The thing that sucks though is he's the school's guidance counselor, meaning he's the one you have to kiss ass to so he tells you how on track you are, grade-wise.

"Haha, yeah!" You manage, awkwardly shifting in your seat. The small office was crammed with random shit, including two small and extremely uncomfortable plastic chairs for students to sit on.

'Jesus, they can't even afford cushioned seats? These feel like they stole em' from the kindergarteners.'

Mr. Mackey continues listing off items from your transcript, each grade read aloud filling you with pride. It's when his eyes drop to the bottom of the page that his tone suddenly changes.

"Ah, here's something." His eyes flicker toward you and you desperately want him to spill out whatever 'something' is.

"Now, no need to panic, mmkay? I know you've got your heart set on this valedictorian thing but, uh.."

"But what?!" Oh god oh god, what did you fuck up now? You'd been working your ass off your entire high school career and senior year was not the time for slip-ups.

"Well, there was a class you took sophomore year, mmkay?" Mr. Mackey spins the paper around, your proof of failure right there for your eyes to see.

"Calculus."

Fuck.

Fuck.

You'd completely forgotten about that.

It was either you took it sophomore year and ace it...or you re-took it in senior year. With everything else that had happened last year, it completely slipped your mind.

That wasn't the only issue though.

"I fucking suck at calculus."

Mr. Mackey frowns, tsk-tsking at your choice of words. "Now now, Y/N, no need to get all riled up, mmkay? You can re-take the class this year and I can even set you up with a good tutor if ya' need it!"

Your guidance counselor looks at you expectantly and while you hate to admit it, a tutor would be pretty helpful. No point in taking the class again if you just ended up getting another F.

And F wasn't an option.

"Alright," you sigh, taking your transcript from his hands. "Who do you got?"

"Well," He starts off, tone suddenly nervous. It made you suspicious as hell.

"You might not agree with my suggestion, but he is the student with the highest calculus grade in the past 4 years." The room seems to fade into obscurity as you hyperfocus on the words coming out of Mr. Mackey's mouth, praying to god himself he wasn't about to say what you think he's gonna say.

'Please.'

'Please let the universe love me for once.'

...

..

.

"Ky-"

"No."

──

"-and then he said BROFLOVSKI would be the perfect choice! The nerve of that ass!"

The cafeteria was probably the perfect place to unload all your woes of the day, the loud and obnoxious laughter and softer buzzing of conversation creating a great cover for gossip. Wendy, on the other hand, didn't seem to agree with that sentiment.

"Call me crazy, but I'm not seeing the problem here."

"The PROBLEM," you cry, angrily shoving your hand into Wendy's bag of cheezy o's, "is that there is NO way in fucking hell I'm asking Kyle to tutor me."

Your best friend simply stares at you, blank-faced as you stuff your face with chips.

"That's suicide for my pride!"

"Ah, your pride." She snatches the chips back from your hands, carefully folding the bag before sliding it into a side pocket of her lunch bag. "How could I possibly forget."

You can't help but feel a little hurt by that, her tone of voice obviously implying something else entirely.

"What are you...what are you talking about?"

"Isn't that always what it's about, Y/N?" She scoffs, suddenly sliding all of her belongings into her backpack and slinging it over her shoulder. You look at her with confusion in your eyes.

"H-Huh?"

"You and Kyle. Kyle and you. You guys do nothing but fight and argue, and it's all because you two can't stand the thought of losing to each other."

Her lips turn downwards, eyebrows furrowed in a way you've never really seen from her before.

'Is...is she angry with me?'

"Everyone is always wondering what the hell is up your ass because you seem to not have a life that isn't concerned with academics!"

Your body stiffens, her words striking you at your weak point.

Did people really think that?

It was obvious you didn't have any friends besides Wendy, her being the only person you felt you could really connect with but you tried your best to ignore the stares in the hallways.

The whispers when you walked by.

The dirty looks whenever you scored highest in class.

You'd told yourself everyone was jealous of you, that their "prude" or "smart ass" jabs were coming from a place of envy.

But now...you weren't so sure.

Wendy notices your expression and she must see something in it because her face softens immediately.

"Y/N..." She gently rests an arm on your shoulder. "You know I love you. I only want what's best for you."

"And this?" She motions between you and Kyle, who's currently sitting 2 tables down with his usual friend group.

A friend group Wendy seemed to be a part of, but you did not.

"This isn't healthy. Competition is great and all, but..."

Wendy sighs, opting to adjust her bag in an effort to ease the awkwardness.

"I don't know, sometimes you guys seem like you wanna kill each other. I never understood it. You guys would be great together, I just know it."

"Together!?" You balk, face burning a deep red as you almost hop out of your seat.

Wendy chuckles, dismissing your outburst with a wave of her manicured hand. "You know what I mean."

"But, if this is really something you don't want..." Her gaze falls to somewhere behind you, drawing your attention as well.

The goth kid's table.

"I hear some of them are pretty good with math. Maybe try it out?"

Before you can refute anything, Wendy makes her way over to Stan's table, face lighting up the second her boyfriend and his friends (minus Cartman) greet her with open arms.

You quickly look away before they can notice your staring. You didn't want them to think you were a weirdo or anything. You knew Wendy got shit from the boys already for hanging out with you. 

God, why did everything have to be so frustrating? It was like the universe had a personal vendetta against you. Everything you did was criticized and shit-talked, even when you were just trying to get through high school with the best possible track record a student could have! 

Why couldn't Wendy see that!? Why couldn't anyone see that!?

'Maybe because you know that isn't the reason.'

"Shut up."  You chide, mentally swatting the thought away. Now, in the middle of the damn cafeteria, was not the place for an existential crisis. 

Now you were royally fucked. Did you really want to ruin your reputation more by being seen with the goth kids? Not that you had anything against them yourself, seeing as you actually found them pretty cool...

But your opinion didn't matter. This was high school, where everyone and everything different gets clowned on.

"UGHHH. GOD, KILL ME." You groan out, curling in on yourself and letting your head fall to the cold lunch table, unaware of the odd looks that got you. 

Kyle.

Were you really going to ask Kyle. Kyle. To tutor you?

You could already picture his bitchy grin in your head.

"Y/N. Asking me? To tutor them? The sky must've fuckin fallen. What happened smartass, I thought you were Ms. valedictorian?"

"How pathetic. You think I'd really waste my time on you?"

"Beg for it."

'OHHHKAYYYYY, BRAIN, THAT LAST PART WASN'T NEEDED!!!'

You can feel your face burning from both embarrassment and...whatever that last part was. 

Yeah. There was no way you were asking Kyle anything. Wendy would have to be mad a little while longer. 

୨୧

[yueichihara]

Hi, hello. Well... I kind of got inspired when thinking about some stuff so... We read and we don't judge lmao

In which Zayne and MC are definitely dating. She catches a cold and... well... How amazing it is to have a boyfriend who is also a doctor.

I have no idea how to rate stuff on tumblr so bare with me, but feel free to tell me if I missed something or if something is not rated properly.

18+ that's for sure, female MC, oral to MC, ice kink? not sure about this one but that was kind of the idea.

English is not my first language and I didn't edit this, so there might be some repetitions of words, maybe? As I said before, please do contact me if there's something weird with this! Anyways, ENJOY!

His hand slides up my forearm, gently intertwining our hands and pinning my arm to the mattress. His mouth leaves gentle butterfly kisses from my cleavage up to my jawline. He lets out a deep sigh.

‘Are you sure?’

He caresses the side of my face with the back of his hand, his eyes watching me longingly. And I know the same look is reflected on my eyes. 

‘Yes.’ 

I assure him, reaching out to the back of his neck and guiding him down for a kiss.

An hour before

‘No, you really don’t need to worry about me… Yes, I took my meds and also took a shower. I’m a-ok, I’m gonna prepare something to eat and go to sleep.’ 

I had actually almost fainted in the shower and had to crawl out to get some fresh air to stop the dizziness. But Zayne doesn’t need to know that or else he’ll just get anxious. He has an important meeting with the heads at Akso hospital tomorrow, he needs to stay focused. 

‘Did you take your temperature?’

I try again to keep my voice steady and cheerful.

‘Yeah, a while ago but it should have gone down by now so don’t worry. Anyways,’ I fake a yawn into the speaker ‘I’m hanging up now. I’ll keep you updated on my recovery. See you soon.’ 

I hang up before he tries to question me. I set my phone on Do Not Disturb and throw it on the couch before slowly getting up to go to the kitchen. I did need to eat something ASAP. I could feel my eyes dry out and my body burning up. I had taken the pills but the fever had gone down just a bit. I’m halfway to the kitchen, leaning on the table for support when the bell rings. I feel my stomach clench. 

‘He wouldn’t…’ I murmur before heading to the entrance. Another wave of dizziness strikes me as I try to get to the door, I sway and feel my legs give out. But before I hit the ground, a soft pair of hands catch me by the waist.

‘I guess it was worth it to get my handprint on your lock’

Zayne’s arms hold me firmly as I lean on him for support. He feels cold from the winds outside and I lean deeper into his embrace as he helps me up. 

‘Why are you here?’ I say as I grab his bicep to steady myself.

‘A simple ‘Thank you’ would be enough.’ He says as he takes me to the couch and eases me down. 

I look at him apologetically. 

‘I didn’t want to distract you, you have enough on your plate as it is these few days with all those wanderer attacks. The hospital has been flooding with patients and you have an important meeting tomorrow.’ I lift my hand to touch my forehead but it only feels hotter. 

Zayne takes it off and replaces it with his own hand, a chilly feeling soothing a building headache. 

‘I patiently waited until my shift was over to come see how you were doing, thinking about how you may be feeling and what you would need to feel better’ He says as he shakes the bags hanging from his arm. ‘Wouldn’t it be better if your primary care physician got to check up on you when you’re feeling like this?’ 

I know I would be blushing if it wasn’t for the fact that I was already burning up. I look down ashamed for lying to him and he moves his hand to my chin and lifts it so I could look him in the eyes.

‘Thank you, for thinking about me. But I’ll be able to focus better knowing you’re fully recovered and being your cheerful self, annoyingly sending me messages to meet at Meow’s Café to check out the new set of badges that came out.’

His thumb gently caresses my chin and I feel tears prickling in my eyes. 

‘Okay. I’m sorry… and thank you for stopping me from face planting on the floor.’

He chuckles and stands before heading to the kitchen. I bring my legs up to my chest and rest my head on my knees. I watch him move swiftly as he prepares dinner, completely at ease in the space. He’s come over so often he doesn’t need me to tell him where everything is. I’m suddenly pleased at myself for deciding to go to the market on my way home before getting down with a cold. I don’t know how I would face him if my fridge was still empty like it was yesterday morning.

I doze off at some point and he wakes me up before setting a bowl of soup in my hands. I eat slowly while I watch him clean up. When it’s obvious I can't find it in me to eat any more than half the bowl, he takes it from me and puts the rest of the soup in the fridge for later.

He then takes my temperature and helps me up from the couch. He holds me firmly as he accompanies me to my bed. He makes sure I’m tucked in before going to get me a bottle of water.

‘Since you took your meds just before I got here, it is best you put an alarm for the next intake.’ 

I stare at him as he  sets a bottle and a cup on my nightstand. 

‘What?’ He reaches out when I don’t answer him and touches my forehead. ‘Your fever has gone down but you’re still burning up.’ He moves his hand to the side of my face and the iciness there makes me snuggle into his palm. I let out a deep sigh and look up at him. His eyes darken and I know I’ll have to push just a little more to get him to stay. 

I’ve been thinking of him the whole day, it is probably the reason why I haven’t gotten better. I had just come back from a business trip a few days ago and I was longing to see him, but Wanderers went amok in a nearby district and our plans to meet up had to be pushed off only for me to get a cold on the day of our awaited date. 

‘I’ve missed you.’ I say to him. His gaze softens and he leans to give me a kiss on the side of my lips. ‘You shouldn’t do that, you’ll get my cold.’ 

‘You’re probably out of the contagious period by now, a kiss should be okay.’ 

‘Who’s lying, now?’ I call him out but he gestures for me to scoot further. He takes off his tie and lies beside me. I immediately snuggle into him. ‘You’re so cold, it feels amazing.’ 

He brushes my hair with his fingers and pulls me closer. The iciness only grows and I suddenly stop and stare up at him in disbelief. ‘Are you using your Evol!?’ 

He looks at me innocently. ‘Zayne!’ I jokingly hit him in the chest. He lets out a small laugh, his voice breathier.

‘One would think you’d have cold patches around for moments like these, but I couldn’t find any while you nod off. So I took matters into my own hands.’ He demonstrates by sneaking his hand on the small of my back. His freezing touch sending shivers up my spine from where it meets my skin. It feels so good that a whimper comes out before I can stop it. He smirks at my reaction and slowly moves his hand up my back, the cooling sensation soothing my fever. My stomach, however, growing hotter at his touch. A darker flame ignites inside me and I find myself on my back, his mouth on mine and his hands making circles at my sides. Everything he does is gentle, careful. It hurts to know how much he cares for me. How this man I’ve known for almost all my life, holds me in such a high position in his heart. Anything I do could hurt him and I want nothing more than to assure him how much I love him. How I want to stay by his side forever, to care for me as much as he cares for me, to grow old and beyond.

I try to convey this in every kiss, with every touch of my hands on his back and the back of his neck. 

He stops and stares at me, his eyes loving and sweet. 

‘Do you want this now?’ 

I cradle his face and caress his cheeks.

’With every hot breath.’ 

He doesn’t get to work immediately. Instead, he sits up and gently helps me out of my pyjama pants. I try to take off my hoodie but he stops me before I do so.

‘It’ll be bad for you if you take everything off’

I comply and watch him as he takes off his bet and unzips his pants. I reach out and start undoing the buttons of his shirt as he leans to take the glass from my nightstand. I hadn’t noticed before, but the glass isn’t empty, it’s halfway filled with ice cubes. He holds onto it as I finish with his shirt and then hands it to me. He moves down and takes off my underwear, his fingertips sliding over my skin with a cold touch. 

He reaches for a pillow and puts it below my back to give him better access. I feel myself clench in anticipation and he notices, too. He takes the glass from me, the heat from my hands already starting to melt the ice inside. I pull my knees up and he goes down.

The first kiss sends a shiver through me and I gasp. I instinctively try to thrust into his face but he holds me down pressing his hand on my belly. 

He kisses me slowly and I whimper with every touch. He slides his tongue through my folds with a gentle stroke before sliding it in me. I’m about to whine when I feel him gone, but I gasp again when something cold slides in. I don’t have time to wonder before he starts eating me up again. 

One of my hands travels below my hoodie to my breast and the other clenches on the sheets beside me. 

He puts another ice cube inside me and this time he pushes it with his tongue. I’m a mess in a matter of seconds. The coldness from the ice cubes keep me on edge and his ministrations bring me over it. I’m climaxing before long, moving against his face, my body twitching.

I struggle to get my breath down, Zayne’s thumb making circles around my clit. He stops when I’ve calmed down and I feel his hand on the back of my thigh, sliding up to the back of my knee as he sits up. He pulls my leg to my chest and I watch as he strokes himself with his other hand. I feel my mouth water and swallow before looking him in the eye. 

‘In the first drawer in my nightstand.’ 

He stops the strokes to reach out and smirks at me when he finds the condom. I would go to the ends of the world for that smile. 

As he slides it on, he positions himself properly over me again. He bends down to give me a sweet kiss, and I feel him poking at my entrance. His voice is even breathier when he says against my lips:

‘Would you like to know where else I can turn ice cold?’

[osxmui]

‘ life can be cruel , if you’re not a dreamer . ’

summary : you start your first day at the cafe, and learn of a certain bandaged barista, unknowingly kidnap his cat, but it was somewhat worth it when he and another barista come over to the cafe the next day searching for his ‘beloved’ cat and thinks that one of your friends stole it as revenge.

AUTHORS NOTE : hai !! first chapter is done, and i had so much fun writing this. unfortunately, i did struggle at some parts, like the rent thing and had no idea what to do for the plot😭 so, let’s all just act like its a good excuse and its just for the plot !! and characters might be ooc, and unfortunately for everyone, i highkey dgaf and this is for fun so if u come in my ask box to say “omg this is so ooc!!” YES I KNOW GET OUT OF MY ASKS I KNOW anyway if u do wanna be tagged in future updates, just lmk i will gladly tag you :3

GENERAL WARNINGS : reader is afab / fem, she/her pronouns will be used when needed. cussing (obviously), sometimes i will specify outfits but you can just imagine your outfit any other time lol , college stuff, substance abuse mention in other chapters, self harm mentions at times (dazai), dazais siblings r elise and yumeno, and oda, mori his dad.. the slowest slow burn of all of the slow burns, rare sex jokes because i can not resist, and just typical dazai behavior .. also, it has been awhile since i have written like this, so i might be bad at first so. um. ignore that.. + some time skips so we can get to the good part :) tried to speed this chapter up so we can get to the better part of the fic ! anyway, have fun reading!

you had set a routine for yourself once you left the comfort of your home for college; sleep, wake up at 5am to get ready, go to class at 6:30am, study after class, go to more classes, go back to your shared apartment around 4:30pm, relax a bit until 10:45, sleep, and repeat. you were not planning on changing that at all, until your landlord decided to up your rent, and you were forced to work with your friend, chuuya, who was working at a local cafe. originally, he had been paying the rent, and you paid the bills with money your parents gave to you as a little startup, and you could not pay rent with the money, and did bills until now.

you had felt bad for him once the rent raised, especially since the rent was now almost 1,950?? you possibly couldn’t let him pay by himself! so, you got a job at the cafe he worked at with your friend group.

and, you seriously regretted that after seeing how chaotic it was..

⌢ time : 4:30 pm . ⌣

you and chuuya were walking to the cafe after class. the heels of both of your shoes clicked against the pavement of the sidewalk, the sound of your voices quietly echoed through the air of the already loudness of the campus, other students chatting away and the sound of the occasional laugh registered in your mind.

“you’ll be fine, the cafe is a really nice place. you’ll do great, i’m sure.” chuuyas voice suddenly came through, breaking the momentarily silence you two shared for a bit.

you never really worked in a cafe. a fast food place? sure. but a cafe was new, but you knew everything since your mother owned a cafe, and you sometimes came over and watched her work. but this was new, you are ACTUALLY working at one, and doing all the things you saw your mother do.

“i know i’ll do fine, it’s just new, y’know?” you reply to him, but you were grateful for his assurances either way. a small hum left him after you spoke, and you could feel him offer you a small look. “just don’t stress about it, yeah? if you need anything, i can help you.”

after alot of talking, you two had started walking out of campus grounds and walked down the sidewalk towards the cafe, and you could see the little building in the distance after a few minutes of walking.

⌢ time : 5:39 pm . ⌣

luckily, there weren’t any customers since apparently, customers rarely came in at this time unless it was game day for the college, and then the cafe was packed since it did have a tv where they could watch the game.

but that wasn’t all that important, you were just glad that you didn’t need to deal with ‘bitchy’ customers. chuuyas words, not yours.

you were in the middle of putting on your apron as your friends spoke, their voices overlapping the faint sound of music playing from the speakers.

“god, i hate those people. they constantly try to one-up us with their deals and purposefully got a bigger tv for game day. you know, one of those days, i’ll break that tv in front of them..” chuuya grumbled, his narrowed eyes focused on the cafe that was actually across the road. if it was not obvious that he hated the cafe across the street, then the look in his eyes was definitely an obvious sign.

“oh, calm down. it’s not like they do it on purpose.” higuchi spoke, rolling her eyes at his complaint while she wrote on some of the paper cups, something their cafe made them do to show that it was a welcoming spot or whatever the manger said. “oh, they definitely do it on purpose. have you seen how smug they looked when they got that tv? what bitches.” tachihara spoke up, standing next to chuuya as they both glared at the cafe across the street.

“aren’t you all being dramatic? it surely can’t be that bad.” you eventually spoke after getting your apron on and went to help higuchi, who gave a grateful look and continued. “she’s right, it’s not that bad, you’re all being dramatic.” higuchi agreed.

chuuya and tachihara glared at you and higuchi in sync, the two boys clearly judging you both. “you two have no idea what those idiots are like. even in class, they’re so bitchy. i am unfortunately cursed and have a class with the freaky bandaged one.” chuuya sighed, looking back at the cafe across the street.

you sighed, shaking your head at your best friends words. “you say that like it’s a bad thing, he might be nicer than you think.” you reply, trying to be optimistic since chuuya did have the habit of being a little dramatic with his opinions of people. “chuuyas right, the bandaged one or whatever his name is, is weird. dude looks like a mummy of sorts.” tachihara had spoken up, also looking back at the cafe.

chuuya immediately scowled once he saw some of the workers from the cafe across the street walking up to their own cafe, a few of them in a group as they started opening up their cafe.

you looked up and watched, examining the small group of people who seemed to go at the same college. there was a blonde man, a woman with dark hair that had her hair in a messy bob of sorts, a younger guy who looked to be a first year with white hair, one with brown hair and glasses, and another guy with brown hair that had bandages around him.

“what are their names?” you whisper to higuchi, not wanting to interrupt chuuya and tachiharas glaring. “hm? oh, the blonde is kunikida, the woman is yosano, the one with white hair is atsushi, the one with brown hair and glasses is ranpo, and the bandaged one that chuuya hates is dazai.” the blonde woman whispered back, to which you nodded in response.

“they seem nice, why is that they’re hated?” you ask again. you were confused, the group seemed genuinely nice, so you had no idea why most of your friends seemed to hate the cafe. “oh, chuuya got into a fight with dazai a few weeks ago and their cafe and ours seemed to have a war of sorts ever since.” she had whispered back, shrugging as she continued to write on cups.

ah, you had heard about that. chuuya had come back in the evening one night, and said he got into a fight with some ‘idiot from class that looks like hes cosplaying a mummy.’ .. you didn’t know why you didn’t realize that until now, but it made sense since chuuya had an obvious grudge.

⌢ time : 8:27 pm . ⌣

you and chuuya were now walking home after work, it had been a nice day, the cafe wasn’t that busy, and it was a good first day. now, you were walking home.

but, you stumbled upon a pretty, somewhat fluffy black cat, who seemed to be freezing in the low temperatures of the night. you were immediately going to help it as chuuya followed.

you looked back at chuuya as you sat on the pavement of the sidewalk, then at the cat and quickly took your jacket off. “what are you doing?” chuuya quickly asked as you slowly approached the cat, smiling at how the cat was snuggling up to your hand. “i’m not letting a cat freeze up in the cold. i would feel horrible if i left this poor thing in the cold.” you reply to him, slowly getting the cat to come closer.

the cat was the sweetest thing ever, you could hear small purrs come from it as you gently pet it, but you quickly wrapped it in your jacket and slowly picked it up, smiling at how it easily allowed it. the cat was obviously accustomed to humans, and trusted them easily, so it was pretty easy to pick it up.

“come on, we’re going to the store first and buying it some food until we figure out what to do with it.” you suddenly announced, already walking in the direction of the local store. chuuya sighed, already knowing he couldn’t stop you when you were determined and simply followed. “you’re insane. what are we going to do with a cat we found on the street? we can’t keep it!” he spoke, crossing his arms as he walked next to you.

“well, we’re not keeping it forever, dumbass! just until we figure out what to do with it or some missing pet poster pops up.” you remark back, a small huffy sigh left you as you continued your walk, and eventually made it to the store.

the two of you walked into the store, both of you offering polite smiles to the workers who greeted you both. you and chuuya walked to the pet aisle, and went to the shelf of cat food as you held the purring cat in your arms.

“do we get it wet food or?” chuuya whispered to you, you shrugged and just decided to go with wet food and dry food. you were sure wet food was the answer, but you wanted to be safe and not buy something the cat wouldn’t eat. “get both, just in case, y’know?”

chuuya hummed in response, grabbing a small can of wet food and a small bag of dry food before you two walked to the shelf checkout area. you watched how he scanned the items and put them into a plastic bag, and then decided to spare him of trying to find his card and offered to pay (more like forced..). “grab my card from my bag, it’s in the second pocket.” you spoke to him, smiling at the sigh he gave and went to your crossbody bag.

he went through the pockets, looking for the card in the pocket you said it would be in, and after a few moments, he eventually found it and grabbed it, and went to pay. and after a few seconds, he returned the card and closed your bag, then went to grab the plastic bag with the cat food.

after a few minutes, you two were now walking home with the cat and the cat food. you ignored the cold air biting at your hands, and you were suddenly grateful that you were wearing a warm, long sleeved shirt since you definitely didn’t want to get sick from this. but the cat definitely seemed warm.. lucky.

“what are we going to do with the cat when we go to work?” you suddenly ask chuuya, remembering that you actually had to work tomorrow and you didn’t necessarily trust a cat you picked up from the street to be alone in your house. “we can give it to koyou? she’s not busy and can watch the cat while we work.” he suggested with a shrug, knowing that his older sister, koyou, could probably help.

you nodded in agreement, knowing koyou could be trusted rather than all of your other friends. “yeah, we can go to koyous house before class, and after work, we can pick up the cat.” you agree.

⌢ time : 6:15 am . ⌣

you and chuuya were currently walking down the hallway of a familiar apartment building, walking to a door that had the number ‘629’ , the same apartment that chuuyas older sister lived in. as you held the cat with one arm, your free hand went to the door, giving a few knocks.

after a few moments, you and chuuya could hear the door lock unlocking, and the door opened to show a woman with redish hair, and was still wearing her home clothes. “oh, hello. did you two need something?” she spoke up softly, giving a polite smile, and a curious look.

you both immediately smiled back at the woman before you. “hey, koyou. we’re wondering if you can watch this cat for the day, and we’ll pick it up after work?” you ask her, seeing how she immediately nodded in agreement and you handed the cat over. “sure, i can watch it for the day. just get to all of your classes, yes?”

you mentally sighed in relief, mostly because you weren’t really expecting her to be that nice, and she seemed to be in a good mood. “thank you, koyou.” chuuya spoke before you, giving his sister a grateful smile before she nodded and closed the door with the cat in her hold.

well, at least you got that out of the way..

⌢ time : 5:08 pm . ⌣

you and all of your friends were at work, you and chuuya had arrived first, then tachihara, then higuchi. all of your other friends were busy with night classes, so they worked the morning shift, while you and the others worked the late afternoon to night shift.

anyways. you and chuuya were in the back, simply talking while chuuya got a smoke break, but then, you two heard yelling from the front. you immediately went inside while chuuya shortly followed after taking a big hit of his cigarette before putting it out, and quickly followed after you.

the moment you walked in, you were witnessing the weirdest scene ever. dazai and yosano were at the counter, talking to tachihara.

“i already told you, i didn’t see your stupid cat nor did i take it!” tachihara yelled back at dazai, who was looking at tachihara as if he killed his whole family. “bullshit, i know one of you took it as revenge!” dazai replied quickly, clearly unhappy and was certain one of you took it.

you and chuuya walked up to the counter, and chuuya crossed his arms as he interrupted. “what’s wrong now, dazai? why the hell are you yelling at my coworkers?” chuuya spoke, glaring at dazai, who focused his attention to you and chuuya as yosano sighed quietly and just watched.

“i know one of you took my cat, there’s nobody else who would steal it but you and your idiotic friends.” he easily replied to chuuya. the brunette took out a paper and waved it in chuuyas face, showing a missing poster of a fluffy, black cat. the same black cat you saved from the cold so it didn’t freeze to death.

well, fuck. you didn’t really mean to steal this guys cat, and the cat didn’t have a collar, so you just sort of assumed it was a stray.

you and chuuya immediately shared a look, before chuuya gave a cocky smile, and before you could speak and admit you had the cat, chuuya cut in and looked back at dazai. “nah, didn’t see your stupid cat anywhere. but i did see another cafe down the road take in a cat that sort of looks like that inside.” chuuya lied through his teeth, shrugging as if it was nothing.

dazai narrowed his eyes, shoving the paper back in his pocket, keeping eye contact the whole time. “osamu, if they said they didn’t take the cat, then they didn’t. no need to be this protective over it.” yosano suddenly spoke, then dazai sighed and softened, realizing he was being dramatic, but he couldn’t help it. the cat was the only thing making him survive the hell that was college.

“fine, if you say that you don’t have it, then you don’t. but if i find out that you or any of your friends stole it and you’re lying to my face, i will—” he spoke, but you quickly cut him off, and decided to just go with chuuyas lie since you two were way too deep into this now. “is it really necessary to threaten? how about this; if we ever see the cat, then we can come find it and give it to you, personally.” you had cut in with a polite smile, noticing how he looked at you, his mood changing immediately as he saw an opportunity to be playful with someone.

dazai smiled, suddenly perking up and becoming all nice. “is that so? personally? how sweet.” he replied with a hint of playfulness. chuuya immediately looked at dazai with a narrowed gaze, wondering how the fuck dazais mood changed.

you, tachihara and chuuya were both confused on how dazais mood quickly changed, how it was like he changed in a blink of an eye. first, he was all stressed and frustrated, then, he was suddenly cheerful and playful? what the fuck?

“yes, personally. now, if you and your friend don’t mind, we actually want to work.” chuuya scoffed, rolling his eyes, and dazai looked back at chuuya, seemingly calmed down and shrugged. “fine, then. enjoy your 4 customers.” he said with a mocking grin, then turned around, grabbed yosano and dragged her out the cafe.

tachihara watched the two leave the cafe in disdain, before the bell atop the door rang, signaling the door being opened and closed. “god, what a fucking mood swing that was.. jesus, that guy needs to get checked out and put on some pills.” tachihara mumbled, before going back to setting the coffee machine up.

chuuya was happily smiling once dazai and yosano left, clearly glad that dazai was finally out the shop. that was something he was grateful for. “we are not giving him back that cat until the end of the month, i must drag out his misery.” chuuya whispered to you with a happy sounding sigh, finally finding something to hold over dazai.

you sighed quietly, realizing that you couldn’t do anything since you just lied to that guys face about his cat, and was now holding the thing hostage. “we are so fucked.” you mumbled quietly under your breath.

you had no idea how you will keep your mouth shut about it, but it was too late now to go back..

small authors note : sneaking in my hc of dazai having very, very sudden mood swings hehe.. Though, i do apologize for how rushed this chapter was! just trying to get to the good part quicker ^_^ + reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated <3

[sherewrytes]

𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 7

↳ Sukuna x f! black reader

Summary: After the death of his grandfather, Sukuna Ryomen is left to shoulder the weight of his family, caring for his younger brothers, Yuuji and Choso. As he withdraws into grief, his relationship with Y/N, his girlfriend of a year, begins to crumble. When Y/N discovers the truth about his grandfather’s passing during a heated argument, it leads to a painful breakup. Now, both are navigating life apart, but Sukuna’s heart aches for Y/N. Determined to win her back, he must confront his pain and find a way to break through the walls he’s built. Can he rekindle their love, or is it too late?

contents: heavy angst, modern au, 18+, smut, dark romance, drug use, talks of depression and similar topics. (a lil )

fic warnings. ooc, profanity, mental health issues, toxic relationships, cheating, explicit smut, serious drug use, mentions of depression + more to be updated as story progresses.

Please read with proper discretion. this is a work of fiction. all characters are written to portray roles that are necessary to the plot and are in no way a reflection of their canon counterparts.

Taglist: @for-hearthand-home@clp-84@thelightknight21@favvkiki  @helightknight21 @dylsw @ria-s-writes @sleepymothafterhours 

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Here is another chapter cause I'm still writing out the other fics right now :)

Previous

Chapter 7: Breaking Point

Y/N’s POV

It’s been, what, two weeks since I last saw Sukuna? Since he left my apartment I finally put my foot down. It feels surreal. Like he was here one moment, his presence filling every part of my life, and then, just like that, he’s gone. I can actually focus in class again, and my thoughts are less cluttered without his constant ups and downs. For the first time in a long time, I’m getting assignments done on time, and keeping up with my workload. But underneath it all, there’s this ache, a hollow space where he used to be.

I try to ignore it, but it’s always there, tugging at me, making it hard to concentrate completely. It’s the little things—his laugh echoing in my mind, the feel of his arms around me, his stupid smirk whenever he got under my skin. I find myself wondering if he’s okay. Did he come out of the hospital yet? Did he manage to finally piece himself together?

A part of me wants to reach out, just to check in. Maybe see if he’s doing better, if he’s still leaning on his friends, getting through each day somehow. But that’s not my place anymore, is it? I gave him so many chances to let me in, to let me help, and every single time, he shut me out. He made it clear he wanted to handle things his way. And I… I need to start respecting that boundary, as much as it hurts.

I take a deep breath, glancing out the window of the studio. The city is buzzing outside, people going on with their lives, completely unaware of the turmoil inside me. I sip my coffee, watching the people walk by, their laughter faintly audible through the glass.

Suddenly, my phone buzzes, pulling me from my thoughts. It’s a message from Utahime.

Utahime: You doing okay? Need anything?

I smile, appreciating her concern. She’s been there since everything happened, her presence a constant comfort, even when I didn’t realize I needed it.

Me: Yeah, I’m fine. Just… thinking too much, as usual.

Utahime: Well, stop that! We’re going out tonight. A distraction is exactly what you need.

I hesitate, looking down at my phone, my thumb hovering over the keyboard. I know she’s right. A distraction might help me let go of these lingering thoughts, these small pieces of Sukuna that I can’t seem to shake.

Me: Fine. Where and when?

Utahime: I’ll pick you up at 8. Be ready!

A part of me feels relieved at the thought of getting out, of being around people who remind me of who I am outside of Sukuna, outside of this relationship that became such a heavy part of my life.

as the car moves through the city streets, I press my head against the cool window, letting the world blur past me. The bass-heavy beat of W.D.Y.W.F.M. pulses through my headphones, each lyric tugging at parts of me I’ve been trying to bury.

Maybe you’re right, maybe this is all that I can be, the words echo, hitting a little too close to home. I close my eyes, feeling the weight of those lyrics settle in my chest. The memories start seeping in—the countless times I let myself believe that if I loved Sukuna enough, if I was patient enough, he’d eventually find it within himself to let me in. That if I just waited, things would finally feel right. But now I wonder… maybe it wasn’t just him. Maybe I should have known better than to believe that love could fix someone so broken.

But what if it’s you, and it wasn’t me?

The question pierces through my thoughts, stirring a bitterness I didn’t know I still had. He wanted to drown in his own pain, to shut me out every time I tried to pull him up for air. I couldn’t have been the answer, and yet here I am, with pieces of him still lingering, haunting me at every turn.

The Uber driver takes a corner, the familiar streets near my apartment coming into view. I force my gaze away from the window, back to my phone screen, trying to focus on anything but him. It shouldn’t hurt this much, but it does—knowing that for all the love I poured into him, it wasn’t enough to keep him from self-destructing.

The song fades as I arrive at my building. I thank the driver, taking a deep breath as I step out, feeling the city air wrap around me. The streetlights cast a dim glow on the sidewalk, and I let myself pause for a moment before going inside. I need to let him go, I tell myself firmly, as I push open the door and head up the stairs to my apartment. I have to learn to let go of the weight of him, of the what ifs and the could’ve been that keep me tangled in his memory.

I climb the stairs, my heart pounding faster with each step as I spot the car parked out front. The familiar shape, that old, dark-colored sedan that Sukuna drove everywhere... no, no, no, I think, my pulse racing. I’m not ready to see him. My body tenses with dread, the past few weeks crashing down on me in waves.

But as I get closer, I realize it isn’t him. The figure slouched in the driver's seat isn’t Sukuna—it’s Yuuji, his face drawn and pale under the streetlight glow. Relief floods me, only to be replaced by confusion and worry. I stride up to him, feeling the weight of all the things I know about Sukuna’s recent spiral pressing on me, unsettling and heavy.

"Yuuji," I say, my voice sharp, "why are you here?"

He startles, looking up at me with bloodshot eyes. I catch the shadow of sleepless nights, maybe even nights spent worrying about Sukuna. He tries to brush off the tension, but I can see right through him. He's younger, not yet old enough to be driving around on his own at this hour. That alone makes my stomach twist.

"I just… I didn’t know who else to talk to," he mutters, glancing away. The hurt and worry in his voice rip into me.

My gut clenches as I realize just how much of Sukuna’s pain has been spilling onto his family. The weight he’s putting on Yuuji, on Choso… it’s more than I ever understood. The anger, frustration, and heartbreak I felt these past weeks—they’re nothing compared to what Yuuji was going through. He’s barely an adult, forced to watch his older brother destroy himself.

“Yuuji,” I say softly, keeping my tone steady, “what’s going on? Why didn’t you call me?”

Yuuji looks up, and in that one look, I see just how much he’s been holding in. “I thought… I thought I could handle it, but… he’s just getting worse. I can’t even talk to him without him blowing up at me. He left some days ago, maybe more, and just stormed out. No one knows where he is. Toji, Choso, and even Geto…they all tried reaching him, but he wouldn’t answer. And then I remembered… you always knew how to reach him when he was like this.”

The ache in his voice cuts through me, and a fierce protectiveness rises up. I left Sukuna to deal with his pain, but it’s clear that his absence has left more than just a hole in my life—it’s tearing his family apart too.

“Yuuji,” I start, forcing calm into my voice. “I know things are tough, and Sukuna… he’s dealing with a lot. But you don’t have to do this alone. Have you told anyone else? Choso? Gojo?”

He shakes his head, looking at the ground. “No. Choso is dealing with enough as it is… and I don’t want them to worry more.”

He’s trying to be strong, trying to hold everyone else together when he’s the one falling apart. I know that feeling all too well. Sukuna and I broke things off because I couldn’t keep sacrificing my sanity for someone unreachable. But I never thought about how much worse it would get for those who couldn’t walk away, like Yuuji and Choso.

I reach out, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Yuuji, you don’t have to do this alone. You shouldn’t be doing this alone. Sukuna needs someone to get through to him, and it might not be me anymore—but we can try together.”

He stares at me for a moment, eyes wide and vulnerable. “Do you think… Do you think he’ll ever listen? Or is he too far gone?”

My heart aches at his words. “I don’t know. But we have to try.”

He nods, the glimmer of hope in his expression heartbreaking and determined.

I closed my eyes, gripping the phone tight. I knew Kenjaku could be difficult, even evasive when he wanted to be. Sukuna had a talent for finding people who were just as stubborn and reckless as he was. But I couldn’t back down, not now, not with Yuuji looking at me like he was counting on me.

“Kenjaku, I need to know. Yuuji’s here with me. He and Choso haven’t heard from Sukuna in days. They’re worried sick, and he’s…he’s not okay. I think you know that.”

There was a pause on the other end, the silence stretching uncomfortably long. I could almost picture Kenjaku’s calculating look, weighing his options. Finally, he sighed. “He showed up here a few nights back. I didn’t ask questions. He’s been sleeping it off on my couch, but I’ll be honest—he looks like hell, Y/N.”

The anger that had been simmering inside me now sparked, but it wasn’t toward Kenjaku. It was all for Sukuna—his self-destructive spiral, the pain he was dragging everyone into, and the part of him that still didn’t realize how much he meant to those around him.

“I’ll be over soon,” I said, voice steady despite the turmoil within me. “But please, don’t tell him I’m coming. I don’t want him bolting before I get there.”

Kenjaku’s chuckle was dry, but he agreed. “Sure thing. I’ll keep him occupied, though good luck getting through to him. He's really badly…. He’s fucked up, Y/N.”

I hung up, feeling a mix of relief and dread. When I looked at Yuuji, his eyes were wide, filled with a flicker of hope. He didn’t need to ask what I’d found out; the look on my face told him everything.

“I’m going to see him,” I said softly, reaching for my bag. “I’ll try to talk to him, to get through to him, somehow.”

Yuuji looked at me with a mixture of gratitude and worry. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.

With a final squeeze of his shoulder, I turned and headed out the door, my heart pounding as I braced myself for the conversation I wasn’t sure I was ready to have.

Yuuji nodded, taking the key from my hand with a somber expression. "I will. Be careful, okay?" he said, his voice thick with unspoken worry.

I offered him a brief smile, though I could feel the weight of everything pressing down on me. "I will. Just... keep an eye on things here, yeah? If anything happens, call Toji."

Yuuji gave me a small, reassuring nod before he turned to head toward the stairs, his footsteps echoing in the hall as he climbed.

I stood there for a moment longer, staring at the door. The tension was building inside me—this wasn't going to be easy. I had no idea what I was walking into, but I knew I had to face it. For Yuuji. For Choso. And for myself.

With a deep breath, I pulled my jacket tighter around me and left the apartment, locking the door behind me. The walk to Kenjaku's place felt longer than usual, each step heavy with uncertainty. The city seemed quieter tonight, the streetlights casting long shadows across the pavement as I made my way toward the familiar building.

When I finally arrived, I didn't bother knocking. Kenjaku had given me the code to the door ages ago. I typed it in quickly, the door clicking open with an almost too-loud sound. The hallway was dimly lit, and I could hear the faint murmur of voices from behind one of the doors.

I hesitated for a moment, my hand on the doorframe. This was it. I didn’t know what I was about to walk into, but there was no turning back now.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed the door open.

I stood there, taking in the scene before me—Sukuna, looking completely worn down, his eyes barely open, his hair disheveled and his face a mess of exhaustion and defeat. The cigarette hung loosely from his hand, the smoke curling up into the air as Uraume stood nearby, her posture stiff, frustration radiating off of her.

"Uraume, calm down," I said, my voice steady but firm as I crossed the room, stepping closer to the couch where Sukuna was sprawled out.

He groaned in response, his hand sliding off his face just enough for his eyes to meet mine, dull and clouded. He didn’t look surprised to see me, but his expression was unreadable.

"Great, now I'm fucking seeing and hearing shit," he muttered again, his voice thick with fatigue and annoyance.

I didn’t react to his comment, not letting it phase me. Instead, I walked over and sat on the edge of the couch, just enough to be close but not invading his space. I glanced over at Uraume, who seemed to be holding her ground, but she took a step back, recognizing that I was the one who needed to handle this.

"Sukuna, stop hiding," I said, my tone softer now, almost pleading. "What the hell are you doing?"

He didn’t answer immediately, instead, taking another drag from the cigarette, his eyes drifting away from mine, focused on the wall as though he didn’t want to face me, or anyone.

"You think running away is gonna fix anything?" I continued, my voice low but insistent. "You think wallowing in this is gonna bring Jin back? Or fix what’s broken?"

His jaw clenched, and for a moment, I thought he was going to snap at me again, but instead, he just let out a deep sigh, and the silence in the room hung thick.

"I’m not hiding," he muttered, barely above a whisper. "I’m just... tired."

"Then let us help you," I replied, my heart aching for him, but frustration mixing with it. "You don’t have to carry all this alone."

Sukuna shifted on the couch, his hand coming up to cover his eyes again, but this time, there was something in the way he did it—a sort of resignation, like he knew I was right, but couldn't bring himself to admit it. Uraume stood there, arms crossed, clearly waiting for him to make a move, but it was clear he wasn’t ready.

I stayed quiet for a moment, allowing him his space, but I couldn’t just leave it at that. He needed to hear it, and I needed him to understand.

"You're not alone in this, Sukuna," I said quietly, my voice breaking through the tension. "You’ve got people who care about you. People who are worried. And you don’t get to shut them out."

He didn’t respond immediately, but I could see his body language soften just a little. I wasn’t sure if he was hearing me, or if he was just too far gone to care, but I couldn’t give up on him—not when he was this close to losing everything, including himself.

"Sukuna..." I started again, but Uraume cut me off.

"You can only do so much, Y/N," she said, her tone serious, but a little softer now. "He’s gotta want it. He’s gotta find it in himself to get back up. And we can’t make that choice for him."

I nodded, swallowing back the knot in my throat. I knew she was right. But it didn’t make it any easier.

"You think he’ll listen?" I asked, barely above a whisper, not expecting a clear answer.

Uraume gave a small shrug. "Maybe. But only if he realizes he’s not beyond saving. But that’s up to him."

I glanced at Sukuna once more, feeling the weight of everything press down on me. His eyes were still closed, and he looked so damn defeated. Part of me wanted to scream, to shake him out of his spiral. But I knew that wasn’t what he needed.

What he needed was time and a reminder that he wasn’t the only one who had lost something.

Sukuna's smirk was laced with bitterness, and it was as if the weight of his guilt and self-loathing had manifested in those cruel words. His eyes never left me as he took another drag of his cigarette, the smoke swirling around us like a barrier, creating distance between us that I could almost feel.

I didn't flinch. I refused to let him see the impact his words had, but inside, I was crumbling.

His voice was sharp, cutting through the air, his pain seeping out in every syllable. "You think you can save me, Y/N? Don’t fool yourself. You know I’m worthless."

I wanted to shout at him, tell him he was wrong, but instead, my voice came out softer than I expected. "Sukuna, you're not worthless."

He let out a dry laugh, one that held no humor. "Yeah? Then why the hell did you leave? After we fucked, you tossed me out like I was nothing. Isn’t that what you think of me too?"

Each word felt like a blade to my chest. The anger, the resentment in his voice—it was suffocating. I could see the way his eyes flickered with something raw, something vulnerable that he kept buried under layers of pride and self-doubt. But he was pushing it all on me now.

I took a shaky breath, trying to keep my composure, but the truth was, hearing him say those things cut deeper than I ever anticipated.

I stepped closer to him, ignoring the thick cloud of smoke that hung in the air. "I didn’t leave because I thought you were worthless," I said, my voice trembling but determined. "I left because you pushed me away. You closed yourself off, pushed me out of your life like I was nothing. And I couldn’t keep pretending I didn’t see it."

His expression hardened at that, the smirk fading away as he leaned back on the couch, his eyes narrowing at me. "You think I wanted to push you away?" His voice was quieter now, but there was still that edge of anger behind it. "You think I wanted to feel this empty... this fucking broken?"

I shook my head, my heart aching for him even as I held my ground. "No, I don't think that. But that’s what you did. You kept pushing everyone away, even when they were just trying to help. I couldn’t be the one to fix you, Sukuna. I’m not your savior."

He looked away then, the cigarette trembling slightly in his hand. "Then what the hell am I supposed to do, Y/N?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper now, the anger gone, replaced by quiet desperation. "How do I fix this? How do I fix myself?"

I didn’t have an answer. How could I? He had to want it, had to find the strength to fight through his demons on his own. But that didn’t mean I was ready to give up on him.

"You can start by not pushing everyone away," I said, my voice softer now, almost pleading. "You’re not alone, Sukuna. Not yet."

For a long moment, there was silence between us. The tension hung in the air, thick and heavy, as I waited for him to respond. But instead, he just took another drag of his cigarette, looking lost in his thoughts.

"I never asked for any of this," he muttered finally, his words barely audible. "I never asked to be the one holding everything together. I never asked for... this pain."

I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t have an answer for him. All I could do was watch him, hoping, wishing he would find the strength to face what he had been running from.

But deep down, I knew it wasn’t up to me. It never was.

His words hit like a punch to the gut. The rawness in his voice, the way he almost choked on the words—it was as if he was tearing himself apart right in front of me. I watched him, frozen, my heart pounding as he looked away, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Just go, Y/N. Please," he said, his voice rough, barely holding it together. "You made the right choice. Don’t let guilt eat at you. Your love... it wasn’t enough."

I felt the sting of tears welling up, but I forced myself to hold them back. This wasn’t the time to break down. He was pulling up walls as quickly as I tried to break them down, and part of me wondered if he would ever let anyone truly see the pieces of himself he kept hidden. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, that it wasn’t about my love being "enough"—that he was worthy of love even in his darkest moments. But I knew, standing there, that he wouldn’t hear it. Not now.

"Sukuna," I began, my voice catching despite my best efforts to stay steady. "It's not about being enough or not enough. You’re worth more than this... more than what you think of yourself right now."

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "Don’t... don’t do that. Don’t pretend I’m some lost soul you can save. You’ve done enough. It’s... it’s better this way."

"Better this way?" I asked, my voice sharper than I intended, feeling the frustration bubbling up. "Better for who? Because I don't think it's better for you. Look at yourself, Sukuna. You’re drowning, and you’re just... letting it happen."

He clenched his jaw, his hand shaking slightly as he flicked the cigarette into an ashtray. "Maybe that’s what I deserve," he said quietly, almost to himself.

The silence between us felt thick, suffocating. I took a step closer, reaching out, but he backed away, pressing himself further into the couch as if my touch would somehow make things worse.

"If that’s really what you believe..." I whispered, my chest tight. "If you really think you deserve this pain... then I can’t force you to change your mind. But I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

For a moment, something flickered in his eyes, something soft and vulnerable, but it vanished as quickly as it appeared. He lowered his gaze, the same smirk that once felt charming was now nothing more than a mask.

"Just... go," he whispered again, his voice so small it was almost lost in the room. "Forget about me. Move on. It’s better that way."

I stared at him, wanting to reach him, to pull him out of this dark place. But maybe he was right. Maybe I couldn’t save him. Taking a shaky breath, I nodded, my heart shattering with each step as I turned toward the door.

Before I left, I looked back one last time. He wouldn’t meet my gaze, his eyes fixed on some distant point on the floor, lost in his own torment.

“Goodbye, Sukuna,” I whispered, the words barely escaping my lips. And with that, I stepped out, leaving behind the man I’d loved—and the pieces of myself that still wanted to believe he could be saved.

Sukuna's pov

I watched the door click shut behind her, the silence settling thick in the room. My chest felt hollow, but the ache gnawed deeper, clawing its way up my throat. I turned to my side, curling up on the couch, pressing my hand over my eyes as if I could shut out everything I’d just done. I’d pushed her away—again—and for what? To prove some sick point that I was beyond saving? That I didn’t deserve her?

I could still smell her faint perfume lingering in the air, feel the warmth she’d brought with her now slipping through my fingers. It wasn’t like I didn’t want her here. God, I wanted her more than anything. But how could I let her stay, knowing what a mess I’d become? How could I put her through the hell I was living every day?

My mind drifted back to Jin and Gramps, memories that never stayed buried long. Jin would’ve slapped me across the head if he saw me like this, wasting away, hurting everyone who tried to care. But I could never forgive myself for that night, for not being there when he needed me. And now, I was dragging Y/N down with me.

The silence felt louder now, each second stretching painfully, mocking me. She’d tried, even after everything I put her through. She tried to reach me, to pull me out of this pit I’d dug for myself. But I’d thrown her love back in her face. Again.

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath, pressing my fists to my temples. I wanted to cry, to scream, to feel something other than this endless, numbing void. But even that felt like too much. All I could do was lie here, drowning in my own misery, pushing everyone who mattered further and further away

Kenjaku grabbed my wrist, yanking my hands away from my ears. "Look at me, Sukuna," he snapped, his tone harsher than I'd ever heard. "This is your last chance. No one else is going to fight for you if you don’t fight for yourself."

I kept my eyes shut, trying to hold on to the darkness, anything to keep from facing the weight of his words. What good was that going to do? The damage was done, and I’d burned every bridge around me.

I tried pulling my arm free, but his grip tightened. "You think you’re the only one hurting?" Kenjaku’s voice dropped, each word laced with a fury that broke through my wall of apathy. "Your brothers are terrified. Toji, Uraume—they’re all watching you tear yourself apart. And Y/N? She might be gone, but you know damn well it’s killing her too."

My hands trembled as I finally opened my eyes, meeting his stare. I could see the disappointment, the anger. But there was something else, something that looked too much like hope.

"Why does it matter?" I murmured, my voice cracking. "I’ve already lost everything. What’s the point?"

Kenjaku’s expression softened for the briefest moment before he pulled me up to sit. "You haven't lost everything, not yet. But if you keep pushing everyone away, there will be nothing left. Not your friends, not Y/N, not even your own damn self."

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and I felt a flicker of something I hadn't felt in months—fear.

I held his stare, my jaw clenched, trying to keep the defiance in my eyes. But Kenjaku didn’t look away, his grip on my arm tightening. "What did you take?" he asked again, his tone sharper, cutting right through me.

I tried to shrug him off, mumbling, "Just something to take the edge off. Why does it matter?"

"Because," he hissed, shaking me slightly, "you can barely stand right now, Sukuna. You're falling apart, and you keep reaching for whatever dulls the pain instead of facing it. So I'll ask you one last time—what did you take?"

I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his demand. I didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want him to know how far I'd fallen. But the way he was looking at me, with a mixture of anger and something close to pity, broke through the wall I’d put up.

"Xanax... some Oxy," I muttered, barely audible, each word feeling like a confession. "And... a couple drinks." I looked away, shame burning in my chest.

Kenjaku's face twisted with a grimace, and he let go of my arm, taking a step back as if the truth was too heavy for him. "This is what you're doing to yourself?" His voice was low, thick with disappointment. "This isn’t numbing the pain, Sukuna. It's destroying you."

I sank back onto the couch, the weight of his words pressing down like a boulder on my chest. "Maybe that’s the point," I whispered, barely holding back the rawness in my voice. "Maybe that’s all I deserve."

Kenjaku knelt in front of me, looking me dead in the eyes. "Then prove yourself wrong," he said firmly. "If you can’t do it for you, then do it for them—your brothers, your friends, everyone who’s still here trying to reach you. But you have to decide to get up and fight."

My answer was simple, and final. "No."

Kenjaku stared at me, frustration flaring in his eyes. I could tell he was holding back from saying more, like he knew words were useless right now.

“You want to keep drowning?” he asked, his voice sharper, leaning closer as if to pierce right through me. “You think this is easier, huh? Wasting away until there's nothing left?”

“Maybe it is," I said, my voice hollow. "Maybe it’s the only way I can even get through this. The only thing that keeps my mind off... everything.”

“You’re just running,” Kenjaku shot back, anger finally surfacing. "You think the pain will leave you alone? It won’t. It’s gonna keep eating you alive until there’s nothing left, Sukuna. Nothing for you, and nothing for the people who actually give a damn about you."

I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palms until the sting cut through the haze clouding my mind. “Then let it. I’m not worth anything to anyone.”

Kenjaku exhaled, the fight leaving his shoulders. He stared at me, his eyes dark and steady. “You keep saying that, but it’s not true. You know it’s not true.”

Silence settled between us, heavy and unbreakable, until he finally straightened, his expression hardening. “Fine. You want to stay here, stay here. But don’t expect any of us to stick around and watch you throw your life away.”

[lemotmo]

Let my man dance with his man!

Q. Not gonna lie the ballroom dancing thing was a little too on the nose, I'm not sure why they felt the need to do that. His baseball and Martial arts backgrounds were both right there.

A. So this is going to sound mean but I'm an American, unfortunately, so I can say it. Sometimes the average viewer needs it spelled out for them in a very obvious, in your face kind of way. Twitter proves daily that people will believe anything you say so long as you make it short and easy to follow (stay away from Twitter). The ballroom dancing thing was a nice stereotype that the audience could easily follow. That's it. That's why they didn't use baseball or martial arts. If you're talking to Linda in Youngstown, Ohio, or Barbara in Tulsa, Oklahoma and you say 14 year old Eddie loves to ballroom dance, it conjures up a very particular image of that little boy in their head. It's ignorant, stereotypical, and incorrect but it's their truth (gag me). They're not writing this Eddie storyline for the fandom. They're writing it for the general audience. How a fan consumes this show is not nearly the same as how a typical average viewer consumes this show. This storyline is being written for them to follow. Two episodes ago they had the gay character insinuate that Eddie is not straight, and that Buck might have feelings for him (he absolutely does). In the two episodes that followed, the audience has seen four FaceTime calls, all of them paralleled to the actual canon couples that were shown in those episodes, one included the two of them cooking together, and all dealt with Christopher and parenthood. Now the audience also knows that Eddie used to ballroom dance and loved it. It's a nonsensical little information nugget in the grand scheme of things, but to certain viewers it was one more check in the 'yep he's a gay man' column. It was on the nose because it was supposed to be on the nose. They wanted people to get the implication it makes. I hate that it's effective because people need a better understanding of things, but I also get why the show did it that way. It was a very quick way to tick another box for the average viewer. And all the show cares about is getting the average viewer from point A to point B. People are wilfully ignorant and stupid sometimes, anon. Occasionally the show has to take that into account when telling a story.

Thank you Nonny. 🤗

I absolutely hate that Ali had to make this point, but the most horrible thing is that she is right. 🤢

This isn't purely an American issue though. I know plenty of people in my own life who would draw the same conclusions from this.

When my son was little, his favourite Lego sets were all from 'Lego and friends'. They come in purple boxes and the characters are mainly girls. They're really fun sets to make. Very intricate and beautiful.

But yeah... once in a while someone felt the need to comment on him having made the choice to play with a "girl's toy" *insert huge eye roll here* and how that might somehow be linked to his future sexuality. He was four years old at the time.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ The idiocy of stereotyping people. 🙄

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[chaotic-iguana]

dewdrop

in which miguel really, really likes mornings. or maybe not.

warnings: smut-ish? fluff? more of a braindump to get me back into writing. oh also yeah, add miguel to my character list.

morning: the suspension of time between night and day; reality warped and fuzzy and warm in the in-between; soft and slow and dripping like honey. 

the steady weight of an arm resting  on your back, a chest rising and falling under your head. the drag of the hours to come forgotten somewhere under muffled whines and fluttering lashes; greedy, grasping fingers and hungry mouths, burning kisses and whispers getting lost in the frigid air resting her fingers on your lips.

mornings are sacred. mornings are untouched; untainted by anything that was and anything that could be. golden tendrils wrapped around sighs breathed into skin, soft caresses and tangled hair met with gentle grins and gentler hands. 

mornings when even the birds are asleep; flowers slumbering under dew, when your stirring prompts a raspy ‘sleep well?’, as you blink against the blinding light kissing your lashes. when small talk becomes a symphony of moans swallowed by the seal of your mouth on his, when miguel can really take his time taking you apart and putting you back together; lay back as you straddle him and leave burning trails of kisses down his chest, watch your eyes shut and your head tip back as your toes curl, fingers fisting the bedsheet beside him and you’re divine- 

until the steady beeping of his watch signals the end of your stolen time, lyla popping up with a smirk and half-assing her way through a snarky comment while telling him about how ‘there’s another emergency and they need you now’ and day catches up with him again, sinking its claws into the delicate balance of dawn and dragging him with it. until all he can do is kiss your head and work you through it, leaving you under a heap of blankets and whispered praise before ripping off his sweatpants and activate his suit, fists curled in irritation and opening a portal, the breath knocked out of him when he turns for one last glimpse of you splayed out on his bed. until all he can do is handle it until morning comes around again. 

short, i know (sorry). update - i might be coming back?? as always, thanks for reading, comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist: @imherefordeanandbones @theywhowriteandknowthings,@josephquinnswhore,@millerscoffee, @nostalxgic, @sscorpiiio, @its-nebuleuse, @sofiparallel, @mandoisapunk, @bastardmandennis (hey pal), @amanitacowboy, @party-hearses, @planet-marz1, @chiogarza, @jenispunk. i know y’all didn’t sign up for miggy content so let me know if u wanna be tagged only in pedro works. divider by the amazing @cafekitsune.

[yatsurinamikaze]

Swan and Shadow [Sakusa Kiyoomi x Miya!Reader]

Summary: Where the brooding Sakusa Kiyoomi unknowingly falls in love with the Miya sister. What happens next?

Chapter 6 [Masterlist]

Hours pass, and Sakusa waits in silence. The hospital air is cold, the fluorescent lights annoyingly bright, and the plastic chairs are as uncomfortable as he expected. Yet, he doesn’t move. The only thing breaking the silence is the faint buzz of a phone.

Sakusa’s eyes flicker to the screen just in time to see Bokuto’s message flash across it:

Bokuto: What’s this about you carrying some girl in the hallway?! The whole facility is buzzing with it!!

Then another.

Hinata: Yeah—YOU MISSED HALF OF PRACTICE TOO, SAKUSA-SAN!!!

Sakusa sighs through his nose, unimpressed. He flips the phone over and pockets it, ignoring their nonsense. 

The door creaks open.Sakusa immediately sits up as the doctor gestures for him to come inside. He steps into the room, expecting a quick update, maybe a standard ‘she’s fine, she can go home’ report. Instead—the doctor barely glances at him before speaking.

“Your girlfriend has a serious ankle strain. We call it Achilles tendinitis—it’s very common among ballet dancers.”

Sakusa stares.

“I—uh—she’s not—” he tries, but the doctor doesn’t stop.

“She’s going to need a cast for at least four weeks. After that, we’ll reassess her injuries. Complete rest until then, minimal walking.” Sakusa doesn’t even get a chance to correct him before the doctor nods curtly and walks out. 

There’s silence.

You let out a loud huff, crossing your arms. “Well, what does he know about my body?”

Sakusa turns his head toward you. He blinks. “He’s a doctor.”

“Yeah, and I’m me,” you argue, clearly unimpressed. “Doctors just love telling me what I can’t do.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Like walk?”

You roll your eyes. “Obviously.”

Sakusa just shakes his head and pulls a chair up next to your bed, sitting down with his usual unimpressed expression.

You smirk. “So, boyfriend, you didn’t leave yet?” You wiggle your eyebrows.

Sakusa exhales sharply—probably a sigh. But then his gaze flickers to the red-purple spot on your wrist, and he frowns. He reaches out, carefully taking your hand to inspect it. “Does this hurt?” he asks, pressing his thumb gently over the joint.

Before you can answer—

BAM!

The door slams open.

“OH, HELL NO.” Atsumu Miya’s voice rips through the room like a war cry.

Sakusa barely has time to process before two identical men storm in.

Atsumu, looking like a feral fox ready to brawl. Osamu, calmer but somehow even more terrifying, arms crossed and eyes sharp.

Sakusa? He physically malfunctions.

He lets go of your hand immediately and gets up from his seat, his gaze shifting between you and the two idiots now standing in the doorway.

Cold. Hard. Paralyzing realization hits him.

The beautiful dancer—the angel in white—the girl he just carried through a hallway and sat beside in a hospital room—

Is a Miya.

Atsumu screeches. “THE HELL ARE YA DOIN’ WITH OUR BABY SISTER?!” Osamu, quieter but no less dangerous, tilts his head. “Ya wanna explain why ya were holdin’ her hand?”

Sakusa just stares.His brain refuses to process.

You? A Miya?

How.

How did this happen?

How did he—the man who actively avoids trouble, chaos, and unnecessary emotions—end up in a hospital, taking care of the Miya brothers’ little sister?

How did he end up holding your hand on your bedside? Which, according to Miya Law, might as well be a marriage proposal.

Sakusa takes a slow, deep breath.

Then, looking between you and your overprotective brothers, he comes to one very important conclusion - he is screwed.

I anyone even reading these? Lol. The response has been fairly muted and Im considering putting this on hold. Maybe my writing isn't as good as it is sounding in my head. :(

[Masterlist]

[worldly-fluster]

Like... WARNING THIS MIGHT TRIGGER SOMEONE.

The LADS boys when...they find your 'Diary'

--Xavier-- Part 2 of 4

I call my Diary, 'My Death Book' because I want people to be able to read it after I'm gone and be able to understand how I think, somewhat. I made these because I wondered what their reaction would be if they saw it with no context lol

All other details of this are on part 1 Sylus' so, go read it lol cause I also updated it to make it better.

Anyway- you done been warned it is ANGST.

Xavier-

•He felt he knew a lot about you, if not everything.

•Your favorite song, favorite food, favorite drink. He even knew your favorite color, even though it changed a lot.

•He wanted to know more, sure, but he didn't want to overstep any boundaries you set. Hell, it took him months just to be able to stand next to you without you taking multiple steps back.

•He asked once why you stepped back, you told him that you just don't like people that close.

•He was ecstatic when you started standing close enough to him to brush hands. His slow heart starting to beat a little faster at every small touch.

•He also noticed you laughed more, talked more. In the beginning you barely spoke two sentences before going quiet, you said it's because your voice hurt and you liked company more than conversation.

•Now you talk so much he noticed you had an adorable stutter and a slight accent. He loved to hear you speak.

•But then one day, while you both were having fun trying to get plushies in the claw machine, you were having so much fun neither of you noticed an older woman walk up and stand with her arms crossed and a disappointed glare.

•Not until you both heard an 'Ahem' from behind.

•The voice was familiar to you, making you flinch.

•"What are you doing? Haven't I told you not to waste your money on these games? And who's this? It better not be a boyfriend or we'll have to have another talk."

•Xavier stared at the lady for a bit before looking over at you, opening his mouth to ask you who this was, when he saw your face.

•Your face was now devoid of the spark he loved so much, your lips pulled into a thin line and eyes lifeless.

•He stood straight as his eyes widened a bit, especially when he heard your now small voice answer.

•"Yes Mom."

•Just before the lady could speak anymore, Xavier stood protectively in front of you, his hand reaching back and holding yours gently.

•He spoke in a stiff, confident voice, his lips in a tight smile as the lights around you flickered.

•"Okay Ma'am, I'm going to be taking her with me. If you follow us or say one more word to her, I will not promise your safety."

•He pulled you along as you both heard the lady spluttering out about manners. Your eyes widened as you stared at Xavier's back, not used to somebody speaking up for you.

•Xavier's blood was hot with anger towards that woman, your supposed Mother. How could she talk to her daughter like that? I mean, yeah, it's a waist of money playing the claw machine but you love it so he doesn't care. Spend his money.

•He took you straight to your apartment for some much needed downtime, he wants to cuddle and nap but he feels lucky to be holding your hand rn and he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable with him. He'll wait.

•You both sat on your couch, he didn't want to leave you alone at the time, he never does.

•You weren't talking much so he decided to put on a movie, of which you immediately fell asleep watching.

•He smiled a bit as he got up to grab a blanket and cover you with. As he was tucking the blanket around you he found a notebook hidden away between the pillows on the couch.

•Out of curiosity and wanting to move it so you can be comfortable, he opened it. Thinking maybe it was a diary of some sort.

•The first page made him breathe in sharply and his blood run cold.

•The page was Titled, 'My Death Book'.

•As he flipped through it, he found it had things ranging from what you want at your funeral to small tidbits from day to day life.

•Most pages made him want to scoop you into his arms and protect you, even from yourself. Other pages had left a bitter sweet taste in his mouth. As if to help whomever would read this through the grief of losing you.

•When he got to the last page you wrote in, he closed the book, put it back where he found it and sat on the ground next to your sleeping form.

•He lay his head next to yours as he watched you sleep, gently holding your hand, as a lump formed in his throat. He watched your lips part as you breathed deeply, seeing every small twitch you made. His eyes closed as he pulled your hand to his face, holding in there to feel your warmth.

•He wants to protect you from all the things written in that book, wants to make sure you never have to finish writing in it. He really wants to make sure you never run into any of those terrible people again...

•He doesn't ever think he'll be able to leave you alone, ever again. He doesn't want to have to read that book again...and not be able to hold you after.

[leviscolwill]

— dad!jude bellingham headcanons !

pairing: dad!jude bellingham x fem!reader

req: could you write dad!judebellingham ml <3

note: i tried writing headcanons because i feel like my writing is very 👎👎🍅🍅🍅 at the moment, i hope you'll like it still !! reblogs are VERY appreciated since the tags are in a silly goofy mood right now #useless 😝🤪

tag list: @ceofmercedes &lt;3

it's well established on judeblr that he is a girl dad, so girl dad it is

i think he would spiral a bit over the fact that you're growing a whole human being in you

he would say random shit like “no but do you feel her legs grow ?”

and you're like 😐😐😐 of course not

but the poor boy is just clueless 😪

he would always remind you of how you're the most beautiful woman on earth, even when you're crying your eyes out because ron fell off his chess piece in the philosopher's stone

now,, i think we're all well aware he would spoil your daughter rotten

getting her new clothes or new toys whenever he passes in front of a store because “she might need it one day”

but !! he would never let her turn into a “daddy i want a squirrel” kinda girl

you would both make sure she's very well mannered because he is very aware his parents' education played a big part in who he is today

i feel like being strict wouldn't be a problem for him either

yk being the eldest in his family, he wouldn't be swayed by your girl's pleading eyes when she acts wrong

he would 100% cry on her first day of pre-school (it's the cancer in him)

and he would try to drop her / pick her up from school as much as he possibly can with training and stuff

if you speak another language, you'd learn it to your daughter and use it to talk shit about jude 🤭

“have you seen what he wore today ?” “yeah daddy's shirt is very ugly”

in my case she would say quoicoubeh to him

i feel like he'd get so frustrated and start sulking amd pouting before your daughter reassures him

okayy bc it's spooky szn rn 😋

family matching costumes !! (call it corny 😡 i do not care)

monsters, disney characters or the adams family... he'd have soooo many ideas

he'd go trick or treating just to eat all the sweets

playfights with your daughter for their girl's attention

“it's my mommy !”

“oh yeah ? but mommy liked me before, so i'm the number one in her heart”

“it's not true ! mommy tell him he's a liar”

you can only roll your eyes because he really has beef with a whole child ???

but he's just a kid himself !!

everytime she gets to see uncle jobe she's overly happy

and jude would smack the back of his head when he says a bad word

(like he's not the one to curse at home yk 🙄)

is it a bad thing i think he would secretly hope your daughter has a bad dream so she'd have a good excuse to sleep in between you both ?

because he would

just to cuddle with her

then he regrets it when she wakes him up early in the morning

when she grows up he would be soooo invested in her school's dramas

like, actually asking for updates during dinner like he's dan from gossip girl

“what do you mean ben is dating his ex's best friend ?? he's such a di... bad person”

he'd be so gassed whenever she would wear his shirt (especially at school)

like you got all these clothes but chose this particular england shirt ? 🥹🥹

(as if half her wardrobe isn't his jerseys from every club he's been at)

(+ jerseys he exchanged with other players and signed jerseys by football legends)

he would sooo show her off to his teammates

“yeah my girl knows how to read now” 😎

and show every picture of her EVER

even the embarrassing ones

100% would introduce his friends as uncles

“say hi to uncle gio” (🫠)

now hear me out bc i think it's my favourite idea

he would totally look up hairstyles tutorials for your babygirl and try them out

once he gets the hang of it, he would never stop finding new ones

and since he doesn't have a sister, he would go to his mum for advice

on hair, but also girl stuff so he can pretend he already knows it all in front of you

you'd also go to his mum to advice tho, because being a parent (especially a mum) is never easy

and she would gladly share all of them with you

when you get into fights with jude your girl would always try to make it better

“dad says he's sorry”, “mum said she's not mad anymore”

of course you both know she's lying but somehow it always works ???

so your relationship is the prime example of what she's looking for when she grows up

and she secretly hopes she gets to love her s/o just like her parents love each other (too corny now ?)

anyways jude would treat you both like his little princesses, and he's so so so grateful he gets to live a lifetime with you two

or maybe more than two who knows 🚶‍♀️