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waejinyoung · 4 years ago

Text

Can’t Swim - EP . 4

word count: 9.7k+

a/n: i’m late. I’m well aware. i don’t really know what to say to be honest. i hope the episode being close to 10k words makes up for the long wait. there’s alot that goes on this episode. enjoy! we get a peak of jinyung’s pov at one point too! so exciting! no swimming lesson for today though :)

warnings: fluff shit near the end, swearing, dirtyminded stuffs, change in langugage at one point (ive placed translations too so no worries)

EP . 1 , EP . 2 , EP . 3 , EP . 4 , EP . 5 , EP . 6 , EP .7 , EP . 8, , EP . 9

Thursday had arrived and you spontaneously called a friend who had come down to Jinhae to see if she was available midday. She happened to have some time to spare between her schedule so you two met up for brunch and a simple walk around a local park.

Thursday midday

“It’s been so long since we got to hangout Tan.”

Tan, short for Tanya, was your close friend from university. She now works in a global firm which meant she travelled quite often. You knew she was in Seoul and was going to travel to Busan for a bit. You asked if she could squeeze a bit of her day to travel to Jinhae to hangout and she was happy you offered.

“Tell me about it Y/N. You always claim that nothing had changed but I’m still going to ask. Anything new in your life? Anyone new in your life?” Tan had a smirk on her face knowing she was hitting spots that were non-existent, she thought.

“I usually answer no.” Tan’s face lit up due to the unexpected change.

“Go on…” She was getting extremely excited.

“I’ve met this guy- “

“You… MET A GUY??” Tan had absolutely lost it at this point, and she didn’t even know his name.

“Tan calm down. We’ve only known each other for a week and a half. He joined my beginners class last week.” She bursted into a loud laugh.

“You are telling me the guy you met can’t swim.”

“YA! Don’t be mean. He’s at least mustered up the courage at this age to come and learn. Some people can’t even manage to do that these days. They care too much about image.”

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect you to meet your soulmate in a swimming lesson. I thought maybe at the office- “

“You know how I’ve said I would prefer to spend the rest of my life with someone in a different sector of work. I won’t be able to stand someone from the same field of work bringing nothing new to the relationship.”

“I know, I know Y/N. You want to learn from each other rather than talk about the same topics. I understand where you are coming from.”

“But yeah. I don’t actually know what he works as. I’m meeting him tomorrow afternoon for ‘thing’ as he described it. He said I’ll be able to know then what he does then.”

“He seems really mysterious. I hope you’re not getting into something dodgy.” Tan was always protective when it came to you and guys. She knew you had a gullible and fragile personality when it came to men.

“I don’t think so. I don’t even know how to explain it. Every time I’ve been with him I’ve felt giddy and bothered. He does the bare minimum and my whole world flips- “

“Y/N”

You stop in your tracks realising that you had gotten way too ahead of yourself.

“Y/N, you sound like you’re in love. Or close in the least.”

“Tan I’ve known the guy coming up to 2 weeks.”

“Yes Y/N. I understand but you sound like you’ve known him for years and you’ve only just realised your feelings towards him. I haven’t even gotten to ask, what’s his name?”

“His name is Jinyoung. I don’t want to jump in too deep. These feelings need to be reciprocated in order for there to be progression. To him I’m probably just his swimming teacher.”

“Right, and since when did students meet their teachers outside of lesson hours and not only that basically go on dates.”

“YA don’t call them dates. We are just hanging out.”

“Hanging out my ass. He’s bringing you into his life and introducing you to his world. Enjoy the ride Y/N. He sounds like a keeper.”

“You think?” Tan nods and helps you come clear with your feelings.

You two continued with your walk in the park with Tan and settled on a bench after a while.

*ding*

You checked your phone having received a notification. It was Jinyoung.

“Hey Y/N. I hope you’re doing well. If you are still able to come for tomorrow we can meet at 7:00 pm. I’ll be waiting for you at the parking lot again.”

You hadn’t realised but you were smiling like a fool beside Tan.

“Yep, confirmed. It’s him isn’t it?”

You look up at Tan as she took you away from your little bubble. You gave her a nod.

“Y/N this is thee guy for you.”

You didn’t understand how Tan could be so sure. Yes, you have feelings for him but to claim Jinyoung as the guy for me was a little too much, right?

“How can you tell?” You were interested on what she had to say.

“You’re smiling like a 5 year old on Christmas Day. I haven’t seen you like this since you got a first in our last year of uni. This guy’s effect on you is so obvious. He can’t be empty back; I can bet on it. With me just talking about him you’re smiling like an otter.”

You hit Tan on the shoulder lightly for teasing you. You were going to be open-minded about the situation and know that anything can be possible.

“Anyways, why did he text?”

“He just let me know what time to meet up. He hadn’t mentioned it at first.”

“Good luck Y/N.”

Your day with Tan continued. You appreciated being able to catch up with an old friend. You started to feel thankful for Jooheon’s call off. You were able to do things you may have had to wait months for. Although you still wished the call off was given for a better reason.

…

Your day with Tan sadly ended earlier than you wanted, and she was off back to Busan for work.

You prepped breakfast for yourself this blissful Friday morning. You laid out a traditional Mediterranean breakfast since you now had the time. You missed it back home. To have this breakfast alone did drain it’s vibe, you were used to having these large breakfasts with your family. You took advantage of the weather and had breakfast on your balcony. The bay had to keep your company for now until you went back home.

You were caught off guard by a call from your company. You picked up.

“Miss?”

“Yes, Beck”

“We’ve got a dilemma.” You weren’t surprised.

“Go on.” You’d be shocked if something hadn’t gone wrong while you were out of office.

“The eco-hotel that was going to be built on two pieces of land- “

“What about it Beck?” Oh boy. What now?

“Another firm somehow bought one piece of land which we were going to use for the greenery requirements to pass the eco test.”

“Which firm? Beck I’m gone for a couple days and shit has hit the fan this badly?” This was the biggest project in your hands, and it was slipping right through.

“The next door firm- “

You hung up immediately. You were using all your might to not dash your phone into the sea ahead of you. Your rivalry between the next door firm had been going on for years but this time round it was going to be rougher than usual.

You rushed over to your closet and took out a navy suit alongside a simple white shirt + a pair of clear heals. With that you took your car keys and some documents to head to the company.

The speeding cameras could probably understand from the speed you were going at that something important was going on. You arrived at the entrance of your architecture office.

Yes, your full time job was as an architect.

You chucked your keys at the door keeper to park your car and dashed up to the 4th floor of the office. The whole company had turned into chaos in a matter of 2 days. All your employees were rushing around and there was around 6 people all surrounding Beck.

Beck was the second shareholder alongside you of the company. You both graduated as architects and decided to start your own firm as junior architects. Whenever one was out of office, the other covered for the both but this time round Beck was not able to handle all of this by himself.

You called out to Beck and his face changed from stressed to relieved. You and Beck moved to your office and discussed the situation working towards a solution.

A couple hours later

“Wait, Beck”

“Why can’t we just implement all the eco-factors into the hotel on one piece of land?”

Beck’s face was blanked 90% of the time until he heard your suggestion. He sighed a breath of relief.

“We can just add terraces and add green to the lobbies, outdoors and any other dead space we have.”

“You’ve done it again!” Beck rushed to hug the shit out of you. He raised you off your feet and swung you around.

“Beck, calm down!” He put you back on your feet with a large smile on his face.

“Y/N this is exactly why this company needs you?” You high five each other. A weight had lifted off both of your shoulders.

You hit Beck’s shoulder realising the rush you had been to get here.

“We could have solved this with a Facetime call. Did I really have to rush over here?”

Beck just gave a childish smile. We all knew he just wanted you to be there physically. He couldn’t be the only one suffering in the company. Even if it was for a couple of hours.

“That’s all?”

“Yep, can we not have a tea? You haven’t been at the company for days.”

You checked the time and saw it was 4:00 pm. You could spare some time for a quick tea.

“You did absolutely ruin a lovely breakfast that I had prepared at home. Tea’s on you.”

You guys walked down to ground floor to grab a tea from the company café. There was a duo table free near the entrance windows, so you guys sat there.

“Y/N. How do you manage to keep up with the projects and the swimming classes? Isn’t it too much?”

You’ve heard these questions from Beck on countless occasions. He knows the answer but just can’t process how it’s possible.

“Beck you know that the swimming classes don’t feel like a job to me. It’s so nice to share a skill with those who are unaware of it. I love seeing all the kids smile every lesson. It’s so refreshing and fun it makes me forget about the projects. When it comes to the company, I have a really reliable shareholder who fills my absence when needed.” You smiled at Beck knowing he would get an ego raise at the compliment.

“You bet. The other shareholder is extremely reliable.”

“You can always tell me if I start to drift a little too much from the company. I sometimes lose track on how much time I’ve spent on both jobs.”

“Y/N are you kidding me? You somehow do the same amount of work as me whilst having another time consuming job. You finish project drawings in less time than the workers that have nothing better to do. You’re doing more than enough, trust me.”

You smiled. It felt good that you were able to balance both jobs well with any concern.

“That’s good to hear. I have plans for the afternoon so I’m going to have to dip early. Thanks for the tea. Next time, consider a Facetime call when it comes to a similar dilemma.”

Beck waved you off as your car was brought back from the parking lot to you. You waved Beck goodbye as you drifted from the company back home to get ready for this “thing” tonight.

You arrived home to see the time was now 5:00 pm. You need to leave at 6:40 pm. That gives you an hour and forty minutes to get ready. You didn’t even know if there was a dress code. Was this a meal or an activity that you were going to? You circled in your walk-in wardrobe trying to figure out an outfit that would suit most occasions. You looked at casual floral dress. It would work only if it were daytime, it’ll be close to the evening so that won’t work. Jeans and a top? Too boring? Ugh.

You spent 30 minutes trying out outfits and hadn’t settled down on even one. You figured to solve the dress code problem by giving Jinyoung a ring. As much as it may be an embarrassing question you didn’t care. You weren’t going to take the risk and make a terrible impression of yourself to his circle.

He picked up.

“Hey Y/N. Are you well?”

“Hi Jinyoung. I’m well. I hope you’re too. I was getting ready for this ‘thing’ of yours, but I have no clue if this ‘thing’ will be taking place in a casual or formal setting. Basically, I don’t know what to wear.” You chuckled as you gave up trying not to be direct about why you called.

“Hahaha,” Great made a fool of yourself again, “I understand. I wouldn’t call it a formal setting. That’s for sure. A simple casual outfit would do. Just don’t come looking like a hobo.” He chuckled again.

“Great you just saved me from my worries of making a laughingstock of myself.”

“Don’t worry you won’t. See you at 7.”

“See you!”

Now that, that was out of the way you went back into your closet to pick out an outfit. You chose a pair of denim mom jeans and a black sleeveless bodysuit. You glammed up your outfit with silver jewellery pieces and your black Chanel bag. You wore a pair of white air forces to make sure your feet were comfy and headed over to your makeup stand.

You weren’t exactly a big makeup girl. You tended not to use a skin makeup like foundation or concealer. You basically used mascara and that was about it. You weren’t going to fake it; you were happy the way you were. Your lashes were curled, and you glided some mascara onto them. You weren’t going to bother with contacts this afternoon, so you put back on your turtle shell brown glasses. It was now 6:00 pm.

You had 40 minutes to spare so you went on your laptop to reply to some emails and work on some renders for the eco-hotel you worked on with Beck today.

40 minutes flew by and you shut your laptop and took a deep breath. Don’t fuck this up Y/N, you thought to yourself.

You hopped in your g-wagon and drove a new route to the entertainment company parking lot. Jinyoung was there like he had promised and waved you hello. You flashed your headlights as a way of reciprocating to Jinyoung’s wave. The gates slid open and parked your car in a free slot. There were more cars this time round. You guessed that there was something going on at the company.

“How have you been Jinyoung?” You greeted him as you locked your car.

“I’m a little nervous,” He saw your puzzled face, “You’ll understand why soon don’t worry.”

“Can’t wait.” You both strolled towards the entrance of the company. The same flashes started again. Like last time.

Jinyoung wrapped his arm around your shoulder and guided you quickly into the building. He whispered in your ear to keep your head low until he said so. You did as he said. Around 10 steps after walking into the building Jinyoung let you know that you could look up now. You were puzzled as ever. What is going on? Jinyoung realised the both puzzled but also annoyed/stern expression.

“Just a little longer. I promise.”

You guys took the escalator to the 2nd floor this time alongside several other people. It was busier than the last time you were here. A lot of cameras and staff. You could hear them whispering among themselves in the lift. You were sure you heard the words ‘actor’ and ‘script reading’. You had no clue what they were referring to. Probably some entertainment company things.

The lift arrived at the corresponding floor and you guys all stepped out. You were registering the things around you. There were banners hung up near the glass room ahead. They read ‘drama script reading’ and we were walking straight towards it.

You tugged on Jinyoung’s sleeve. You kind of felt uncomfortable feeling so alien-like in an extremely new environment. He took you to aside to avoid being in people’s way.

“Y/N I wouldn’t do anything to harm you. Trust me. This is all new to me as much as it’s all new to you. I wish I could be by your side, but we’ll be separated. Remember Bambam for last time?,” You nodded, “I’m going to sit you next to him and my other friends he’ll introduce you to them. Don’t worry they wont bite.” He lightly chuckled.

You guys slowly headed to the glass room. It was packed with tons of staff and people like you. A long banner was pinned up to the wall. When My Love Blooms was what it read. Underneath it in smaller font read four names. One of which was… Park Jinyoung.

He’s an… actor?

You saw Bambam like Jinyoung had said and was seated next to him. You took this chance to ask Bambam what in the world was going on.

“Hey Y/N.” Bambam seemed really excited too.

“Hey Bambam. Can I ask what’s going on?” He realised your puzzled expression. He could tell Jinyoung hadn’t told you anything about tonight.

“Jinyoung hyung hasn’t told you?” You shook your head no.

“Today is the first script reading of a drama Jinyoung hyung will be acting in. He’s the second male lead actor. He plays the younger version of the main character.” So, he was an actor.

“He didn’t even tell me that he was an actor. He hasn’t told me anything about his work.”

“That’s typical Jinyoung hyung. He’s usually secretive when it comes to work and this industry. It’s kind of complicated to explain but he treats all the new people in his life the same way don’t worry.”

“Right…” This whole industry thing was new to you too. You were going to go with the flow and see what happens.

“He also mentioned meeting his ‘circle’ as he described it. Who exactly is he referring to?” Bambam’s eyes lit up as he looked to his other side which consisted of 5 other guys. Very handsome you must say.

“Guys!” Bambam got the attention of all 5 of them.

“Bam what do you want now?” The guy with 2 moles on his eye lids looked up from his phone.

“Jinyoung hyung wants us to meet a friend of his.” You were kind of nervous. The one who had replied to Bambam had a bit of a cold aura.

“Really?” His expression kinda lightened.

“Yes hyung. Guys this is Y/N.” You gave a smile to all of them not knowing who should speak next.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you all.” That should do it.

“Hello Y/N. I’m Jackson.” He had a bright puppy smile on his face. He seemed like a social butterfly very eager to meet new people.

“I’m Mark.” Mark raised his hand to show who was talking. The staff were making a bit of noise, so his voice sounded a little muffled, but you were able to hear him. He seemed cool though.

“I’m Jaebeom.” The 2 mole guy spoke. He gave a sweet smile. You take back your thought of him having a cold aura. He seemed nice.

“I’m Yugyeom.” He started throwing gang signs trying to act cool. The guy beside him bursted out laughing and hit his shoulder trying to get him to stop. You joined in with him due to his contagious laugh.

“Hi Y/N. Last but not least I’m Youngjae.” He gave you wide and welcoming smile.

“So that’s everyone Jinyoung hyung wanted me to introduce you to. You’ll most likely see us often. We stick together most of the time.” Jaebeom rolled his eyes at the clingy child.

“How did you meet Jinyoung?” Jaebeom asked after putting his phone away.

“Actually, Jinyoung is my student. I’m his swimming teacher.” The guys looked at each other and started laughing.

“Waaa, that punk actually signed up to take lessons. Good on him, I thought he wouldn’t be able to.” You were kind of confused

“How come?”

“Jinyoung doesn’t like it when he’s not good at something. He’s an absolute perfectionist so to see him show a side of himself to people in a skill where he’s not thriving in… I didn’t expect him to actually sign up for classes.”

Ahh, so he’s a perfectionist.

“I didn’t know but he has been attending and cooperating well. He’s also a quick learner so he’ll be advancing quickly from my inspection.”

“Typical Jinyoung hyung,” Bambam commented, “He’s always good at everything.”

An old man stood up from the table Jinyoung was on and silenced the whole room for the beginning of the script reading. You looked over at Jinyoung to see that he was already focussed on you. He looked a little nervous so you sent over a small smile and nod to let him know that you’re fine and that he can do this.

“Thank you all for joining us today for the first script reading of When My Love Blooms. We will now be starting with the first episode reading. Let’s see how the actors have worked on their characters.”

You were excited to see what this was going to be like.

The script writing commenced, and everyone was concentrating on all the characters and the scene. The story line sounded really interesting and the chemistry between the actors and their characters seemed like a match made in heaven. You internally giggled when you found out that the main characters name was Jaehyun, remembering that this Jaehyun wasn’t the lifeguard Jaehyun back at the centre.

This side of Jinyoung looked so classy and sophisticated. He had a similar pair of glasses on like you and a simple black shirt on. He would move his glasses up whenever they would slip a bit whilst looking at his script. You could see how much he was in character and the passion in his voice trying to voice his inner Jaehyun.

“From today onwards, we’re dating.” The dialogue between Jinyoung and the younger role female lead continued until the director interrupted.

“I wish…” Everyone started laughing at the director’s sudden comment. I don’t blame him. The story line is to die for. If only life was the same.

Every now and again the boys beside you were trying to contain their laughs. They were like a bunch of brothers trying to find dirt on Jinyoung to tease him about later. They reminded you of your friends when you all hangout together specifically for someone’s occasion.

The script reading ended soon after the funny moment. The staff started packing up all the refreshments and the paperwork everywhere. The actors were taken to a little set up area to take teaser photos ready to be posted before the launch of the drama.

“So, Y/N…” Jackson caught your attention and you drew your eyes from Jinyoung and the other actors to Jackson.

“Yep.”

“You teach swimming lessons. Is that your full time job or is it a hobby sort of thing?”

“It’s a part time job I do on the side. I pursue a more serious career as an architect.” Jackson’s expression turned surprised.

“You’re an architect?” The rest of the guys circled around you with interested looks.

“Guys calm down. I just design buildings for a living. Me and a friend own a company- “

“You’re CEO?” Jaebeom launched himself forward towards you since he was out of it at first. Was it this big of a deal?

“More or less.” The boys all started clapping. The staff joined in thinking they were clapping for the actors and the end of the first script reading. You joined in to cover up for their initial intention.

Jinyoung joined you guys as the claps continued. He was baffed at what was going on, but you just shook it off. He whispered a simple ‘you good?’ in your ear. You nodded in response to his question. The group + you faced Jinyoung and continued clapping in his face like a bunch of seals. Jinyoung wrapped his hands around yours to stop you from clapping. The contact between you and him caught you off guard but his hands were warm and protective. Your small hands fit perfectly in his much larger hands. It felt like the contact you wished for years to happen between you and your dad but that never happened. Your eyes were close to tearing, but you knew showing any sign of sensitivity will trigger another load of questions not only from Jinyoung but the rest too. He removed his hands realising the awkward closeness he showed among all the guys.

The clapping ended.

“How was I?” Jinyoung diverted his attention from you to the rest of the guys.

“Jinyoung hyung as always performed well. I’m starting to get used to the fact that you’re good at everything hyung.” Yugyeom tried to act unphased but we all knew the experienced actor could see right through his lie.

“You outdid yourself again Jinyoung.” Jaebeom patted his shoulder like a granddad (lol).

“I’m jealous of the female character.” Everyone looked at Bambam waiting to continue why he said what he said.

“I’d wanna be dating Jinyoung hyung too, it’s not fair.” Jinyoung put an arm around Bambam’s shoulder and you all started laughing at the absurd comment.

“Jinyoung hyung already has someone in mind Bambam. You have to go search for someone else.” Jinyoung had someone else in mind? He likes someone? You just kept smiling trying to show you weren’t hurt from the sudden confession. Damn… looks like you were a little late Y/N. Of course, a fine man like Jinyoung wouldn’t go for you, you thought.

Jinyoung gave Youngjae a death stare. You guessed that wasn’t information he was willing to just share casually.

“I’m sure she’ll fall for you with those acting skills.” You tried to lift up the mood that had turned awkward. The guys gave you a look and then looked at Jinyoung. They knew who Youngjae was referring to. You were the only one that was oblivious to the situation.

“I hope so too Y/N. I hope so too.” Jinyoung gave you a warm smile. His eyes crinkled and his teeth gleamed white. Whoever she is, she’s lucky you thought.

“I’m starving, can we go for a meal?” Mark suggested as he changed the topic.

“Yh, Y/N you can also join us unless you’re busy.” Yugyeom kindly offered.

“No there’s no need. I don’t want to be interrupting your guys’ meal.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m sure Jinyoung will be happy with you joining us anyways.”

You looked over at Jinyoung and he just smiled. You guessed Bambam was right. You had nothing planned for the rest of the evening, so you joined them.

“Did anyone come by car? All the staff vehicles are being used for the director’s team.” Mark raised his hand although there was still a problem.

“Yh but there’s 8 of us Mark. Your car can hold 5 of us, what about the other 3?”

“Looks like it’s good that I’m coming then. I came by car too. The other 3 can come with me. I’ll follow Mark.”

“Are you windows tinted?” What a weird question to ask.

“Erm.. yes.”

“Great, that works.” Jaebeom clapped after the situation was solved.

“Let’s go half and half. I’m going with Y/N.” Bambam came by your side ready to follow you to your car. Jinyoung joined him and shrugged a helpless shrug towards Mark.

“You fuckers are leaving me, wow.” Mark put a hand on his heart acting like he was heartbroken.

“Don’t worry Mark. I’ll join you.” Jackson and Yugyeom joined Mark.

“Rock, paper, scissors?” Youngjae offered to Jaebeom.

“Guys it’s just a car rid- “ They were actually doing this weren’t they.

“Rock, paper, scissors!” Youngjae threw rock and Jaebeom threw paper.

“Good luck putting up with Jackson and Yugyeom.” Jaebeom waved Youngjae a farewell. Now that this was decided, you guys headed out of the company building.

“I’ll tail you until our destination. Just in case we lose your car, does anyone riding with me know where we are going?” You walked along Mark settling on an agreement.

“Yh, Jinyoung knows where we are going. He can guide you just in case you lose the car.”

“Great.”

“By the way Y/N…”

“Yes…”

“Actually, don’t worry. It’s nothing important.”

“Sure…” You couldn’t lie. You kind of wanted to know what it was that he was going to say.

“WAAAAA… Y/N you’re full of surprises. First it turns out that you’re actually an architect now we find out you rock a classy car too. Keep it coming.” You guess Bambam is the type to hype his friends. Like you mentioned before, praise is something that motivates you. It’s rewarding.

“WAAAAA… Bambam it’s just a car.” You mimicked him.

“Yh… but a really nice car.” He eyed your possession and circled round it.

“Look at this big boy… what did you name it?” This kid honestly.

“I shall not be disclosing that piece of information.” Bambam gave you puppy eyes in hopes for it to work.

“Fine. He’s called Prince.” You shut your eyes with your hands to avoid the embarrassment.

“Ahhhh and because you own him… does that make you a Queen?” You laughed at Bambam’s analogy.

“No specific reason for the name Bambam. Come on, Mark and the others are waiting for us.”

Jinyoung took the passenger seat beside you whilst Jaebeom and Bambam sat behind. Bambam specifically behind you.

“Everyone seat belts on please. I trust my driving, but I don’t trust the driving of others.” You smiled at your comment. So vain.

“I’m going to tell Mark hyung you don’t trust his driving.” Bambam is an actual kid, you concluded in your mind.

“That’s not what I meant Bambam.”

“I know, I know.” You started the car as all of the guys, and you had put on your seatbelts.

You signalled to Mark for him to go ahead since your car was now ready. You followed his white Jeep out of the parking lot and started your journey.

“So where exactly are we going to?” You still didn’t know what you was going to be eating for dinner.

“We often go to this seafood place near the bay. The fish comes fresh every day and they also have non-fish options too. Jackson doesn’t like seafood much, so it works well for him too. You’ll definitely like it.”

Hmm, there was a restaurant at bay that you also went to often similar to what Jinyoung was describing. Maybe it’s the same place.

“What’s the place called? I live near the bay so I may know of it.”

“It’s called Ali’s Clam.” Bambam responded from the back.

“Ali with the lisp?” If he replies yes now, you knew exactly where you were going.

“You know of him?” Of course.

“We come from the same country. I’ve known him since I moved to Jinhae. He was one of the first people I met.”

“Small world. Weird how we didn’t recognise each other. We must have been present at the same time at some point.” Jaebeom figured.

“I would agree but I always order into the company or home. I don’t usually have the time to eat in. It’ll be a great surprise for him too since it’s been a while I’ve been at the restaurant.”

A couple minutes of silence went by. You had some music from back home playing quietly as you drove to Ali’s. You do love jamming loudly to music but only when alone. You weren’t going to embarrass yourself in front of people you’ve only met a couple hours ago.

“So where exactly are you from Y/N?” You appreciated how the guys actually wanted to get to know you.

“My parents are both Turkish. Although… I was born and raised mostly in London. I did go back often to see family, but I lived and grew up in London. Studied there and then work led me to Jinhae.”

You stopped at a red light.

“I was going to ask what coloured contacts you used. I guess they are real.” Bambam and his ridiculous questions.

“Yes, they are real Bambam. Sorry to disappoint.”

“It’s okay. I’ll just stare at them instead.” This kid. Jaebeom and Jinyoung laughed at the sadness in Bambam’s voice.

“I’ll let you borrow them if you want.” Bambam triggered your sarcasm to come out. What a fool.

“I’d be honoured.” You liked how he continued.

“So, Y/N…” Jinyoung spoke up.

“You’re an architect?” You just nodded and you kept your eyes on the road.

“Why teach swimming then?” This question again.

“Here’s how I’ll answer that question,“ He was listening, “Isn’t it so refreshing and fun being with the kids in our group? To see their faces light up every Monday morning because of me and my lessons. It’s an amazing feeling knowing I’m touching their lives by giving them a life skill that they’ll be grateful for. It never feels like work.”

As you explained your reasons, Jinyoung had been staring at you in deep thought. The way you were concentrating on the road as you spoke about pure innocent things. The way you were so passionate about helping the kids learn a vital skill. He couldn’t register everything at once and felt so overwhelmed. Your eyes glistened as you continued talking about your love for the kids and how much you loved swimming. He watched your every move and could feel his heart thumping stronger than usual. He knew what was happening and was willing to comply to his heart.

You realised you had been rambling off for a while and hadn’t heard a single thing from Jinyoung. You glanced to your side to see a loving stare coming your way. You wished you could reciprocate but eyes on the road was something you were going to stick to. He realised his own stare and directed his look to Bambam. You just smiled. Luckily it was dark, so your flamed up cheeks weren’t visible to anyone.

…

Your phone rang… it was Max. You guys still hadn’t sorted out whatever it is that’s between you two now. You didn’t know if you should pick up. Due to the lovely thing called technology, your car picked up on the fact that you were getting a call so everyone could see who was calling. Jinyoung aware of who Max was.

“Feel free to pick up.” Jinyoung prompts you to pick up.

“You guys okay if I pick up?”

“Go ahead.” The other two responded.

You picked up the call.

“Hey Max, how are you?”

“Doing better Y/N. You free to talk?”

“Yh sure, go ahead.”

“I wanted to talk about Monday.”

You looked over at Jinyoung. He didn’t seem phased, but you felt uncomfortable.

“I’m listening.”

“Stay away from him.” Not this again.

“Elaborate ‘him’.”

“You know who I’m on about Y/N. Don’t make me say his name.”

“Elaborate or I’m hanging up.”

“Fine. I’m on about Jinyoung.” Oh boy the air in this car just got even more awkward.

“Fuck my life Max. You’re still dragging this out? Can you speak up like a man with a pair of balls?”

Jaebeom and Bambam looked at each other. They sensed the change in atmosphere as expected.

“Alright Y/N. What I’m saying is you have to stay away from Jinyoung from now on! I see the way he looks at you Y/N. His ass is so whipped for you and it has only been 2 lessons- “

“And?” The awkwardness had hit cloud nine. You wanted to hide in a box and stay away from humans for weeks at this point, but you had to stay strong. You weren’t going to give in like a weakling.

“What do you mean ‘and?’? Aren’t you bothered? Are you ready for someone else to crush your heart again just like Chas- “

“Don’t you dare say his name.” Max was crossing over the line. This call being on speaker didn’t help either.

“You get the point. Your ass is going to fall deep into his trap too only to be left like a shattered mirror again. Continue being like this and I won’t be there to fix you either.”

With that Max hung up. You didn’t speak. You were trying to contain the anger you were feeling rise up. You were carrying lives in the car. You weren’t going to express the anger now.

“You good?” Bambam couldn’t stand the silence and asked the comforting question. You had to be honest. You weren’t exactly feeling like answering although you thanked him internally for caring.

You mustered up the energy to talk after burying the anger inside.

“I deeply apologise for what just happened. I didn’t exactly want you guys to witness this not-so-nice side of me let alone on our first meeting,” You faced Jinyoung for a split second, “I owe you another apology. I don’t know what’s gotten into him but- “

“You truly are unaware aren’t you.” Jaebeom interrupted you. Kind of rude.

“I don’t know who that guy was, but he sounds extremely jealous.” This again. Jinyoung opted to stay silent.

“You think?”

“I think? It’s almost fact. He sounds so riled up. As a guy the only reason I’d ever be so ‘like him’ would be because I’m jealous.” For everyone to say this keeps solidifying the assumption. You guess everyone was right.

“Jaebeom hyung is usually right when it comes to knowing things. What he says usually turns out correct. I also agree. He sounds pissed and jealous.”

You chose to stay silent until you arrived at the restaurant. Everyone went back to what they were doing before the rude call. A couple minutes later you all arrived at Ali’s Clam.

You and Mark parked near the venue and walked it to the table Ali had given the rest.

“No way!” Ali ran up to you and gave you a warm hug. It had been around 1 month since the last time you saw him. Although you could feel the life being squeezed out of you too.

“Ali let me breath,” you laughed as you hugged him back, “It’s good to see you too.”

“Y/N seni bir aydır görmüyorum. Nerelerdesin?”

[“Y/N I haven’t seen you for a month. Where have you been?”]

“Bizim büro büyük bir proje kaptı. Beck’le onun üstünde çalışıyoruz. Biliyorsun ki yüzme derslerim de var buraya gelmeye zaman bulmak zor oluyor.”

[“Our firm received a big project. I’ve been working on it with Beck. You know about the swimming lessons too, it’s hard to find time to come.”]

The guys all picked up the change in language. This is what it must feel like for our fans, they thought to themselves.

“So how come you know of these lot?” He was referring to Jinyoung and the rest, “And how do you guys know of Y/N?”

Yugyeom stepped up to explain.

“Long story short, Y/N is Jinyoung’s swimming teacher. The rest of us met Y/N today at Jinyoung’s script reading.”

“Riiiight… So, what can I get you guys today? Everything’s on me!” Ali clapped in excitement for reuniting with his friend alongside his favourite customers.

“Can we get our usual lobster in the middle plus the baby crabs plus Jackson’s order?” These guys don’t order the stuffed oysters. What in the world?!?

“You know what else to add Ali. I can’t believe you guys don’t order the stuffed oysters. It’s Ali’s signature dish.”

“I got you Y/N! I’ll make it a bigger portion so the rest of you guys can try it too.” Ali jotted down the order on his little notepad.

The small chit chat continued. You were sat between Jaebeom and Jinyoung. Your table looked out to the bay and was decorated with shells and blue and white ribbons. You always loved the ambience of this restaurant. It reminded you of the fish restaurants back in Turkey that you and your mum would go to when you were younger. Whenever you felt homesick you knew you could come here to sink the feeling away.

“So, Miss is an architect.” Jinyoung turned to you as the rest spoke among themselves.

“I guess I am, and Mr is an actor” You chuckled. You both found out each other’s careers in very different ways.

“I guess I am.” He mimicked you. You eyed him having picked up on what he was doing.

“So, what’s the story behind you and everyone? How did everyone meet each other?”

“Get ready for another surprise. I’m not exactly just an actor… All 7 of us make up a k-pop group called GOT7.”

“Yh, right.” You laughed at him assuming he was joking around.

“Wow don’t believe me. Guys!” Jinyoung got the attention of the rest of the guys.

“Jaebeom hyung when did we debut?”

“16th Jan 2014.”

“Seun-ah what was our debut song?”

“Girls, girls, girls they love me” Jackson sang and displayed some hand movements along with it. Were they being serious?

Ali came over with the baby crabs and the stuffed oysters. He was just about to go back for the lobsters but Jinyoung asked Ali the same questions he had asked Jaebeom and Jackson.

“You guys debuted under JYP Entertainment as GOT7 on 16th Jan 2014 with the song,” he changed his stance like he was ready to dance, “Girls, girls, girls they love me.”

“Jackson also had a plant sticking out from the top of his head then.” The boys started laughing but Jackson gave Ali a deaf stare. Ali gave him an apology hug and insisted that he couldn’t let the opportunity slide.

“Is that why you kept your job a secret at first?” Jinyoung nodded.

“People tend to act different towards us as if we are not ordinary people. There seems to be this analogy of a pedestal where we are placed higher and we don’t really like that since it makes it hard for us to get to know genuine new people. Me keeping that a secret meant you looked at me for who I was not for someone who was a singer.”

“That makes sense. People forget behind the stage and platform there’s someone just like all of us with feelings and hobbies. We all like to chill, lounge around, go for a walk. It makes up only a part of us not all of us, but many people don’t see it that way. So, I understand why you chose to hide it although I can let you know that I’m not one of those people. It’s the inside that counts.” You pointed to your heart. Jinyoung just kept falling for all the mutual comments you were making. He agreed with everything that was escaping from your mouth.

“I’m happy we are on the same page.” He ruffled your hair like you were a 10 year old kid. His eyes gleamed with playful energy. You wish you could have stared longer but you were among his friends. You didn’t want them to get the wrong idea. With that you sorted your hair along with Ali placing the lobster and Jackson’s dish on the table.

“Ellerine sağlık Ali. Her zaman ki gibi çok güzel kokuyor her şey.”

[“Thank you for the meal Ali. Like always the food smells really good.”]

“This isn’t fair we don’t understand.” Bambam started sulking like a kid.

“I’ll try and contain myself. Since I usually come here alone I’m used to speaking in Turkish with Ali. Sorry.” You showed your innocent eyes (not an aegyo way, not a fan) to Bambam.

“If you look at me like that, how can I even get annoyed? Talk all you want I trust you wouldn’t speak ill of us to Ali.” You smiled at the kind words from Bambam.

“Let’s tuck in!” Youngjae suggested. You all started tucking into the food laid out. You had convinced Jaebeom to try the stuffed oysters since no one would say yes. You showed him how to open the oyster and scrape the filing with one shell from the other. Then eat from it like it was a spoon.

“How is it?” You tried to read his expression. He continued chewing and his eyes started to widen.

“We’ve been missing out.” Mark passed his plate over to you for you to put some oysters on his plate after seeing Jaebeom’s reaction.

“How do you did it again Y/N?” Mark asked.

“Let’s do this. Anyone who wants to try it put your hand up?”

Everyone but Jinyoung and Jackson put their hand up.

“I’ll let Jackson slide since you don’t like seafood,” You turned to Jinyoung, “This is bad sportsmanship come on everyone’s willing to try.”

JINYOUNG’S POV

She’s hitting you with those colourful starry eyes again. How could you say no?

“Fine Y/N. For your sake.” A wide smile spread across her face. She passed you an oyster too.

“If everyone’s ready, watch me then copy. We good with that?”

“This sounds like another swimming lesson.” You couldn’t help but remind her how similar her instructions sound like her lessons.

“Wooow. Are you criticising my teaching?” You could now pick up on her sarcasm. She wasn’t being serious. You just shrugged playing secretive like always.

“You should appreciate you haven’t drowned with your skills.” Oh no she didn’t.

“WAAAAAAA… I like it. Finally, someone else as savage as me.” Bambam high fived you across the table. Jaebeom had his mouth agape and Youngjae looked at you.

If the guys had made that sort of comment, it would have been game on. But when it came to Y/N, you couldn’t even find a way of retaliatin. Not only did you not know much about her, you got caught looking at her in disbelief. Your brain couldn’t register a comeback.

“Waaa… she actually got him silent. You achieved something I haven’t for the past 6 years Y/N.” Yugyeom started clapping. You looked at him and your eyes did the job. He stopped clapping as soon as he realised he weren’t going to take shit right now.

“Like I was saying. We ready?” Everyone raised their oysters. You watched her eagerly demonstrate how to eat her cuisine. Her passion for her homeland was present and you liked how she was patiently teaching you all how to eat the delicacy.

“Then you scrape it like it’s a spoon using the empty shell, like this.”

Surprising you all were pretty good. None of you dropped the filling on your plate.

“Then…,” Y/N got up from her seat and grabbed a lemon slice, “You squeeze some lemon on it. Keep your oysters up a little I’ll come around and squeeze some.”

She went around the table and dispersed some lemon.

“Now voila, eat.” You were a little hesitant. You weren’t a big fan of oyster, but you were willing to try it based on Y/N’s recommendation.

And you weren’t disappointed. The combination of the crustacean, rice and the herbs worked so well together. You could see why Y/N was surprised when this wasn’t a part of the group’s order. It tasted delicious.

“I can read all your faces now and no one seems disgusted besides Jackson.” She laughed at Jackson’s reaction to all of you tasting the new dish.

“Bro, how do yall do it?” Jackson questioned.

“Do what Jack?” Mark didn’t understand.

“Eat seafood. Madness.” Jackson resumed to eating his burger.

Ali dropped by having seen you guys taste the oyster.

“What do you guys think?” Ali asked.

“Y/N is right. Ali where have we been?” Youngjae was experiencing his version of food enlightenment.

“I don’t know Youngjae. Where have you guys been?” Ali laughed at Youngjae’s absurd question.

You guys dug into your food whilst conversing and getting to know each other. It turned out that Jackson and Y/N were close to meeting each other earlier on in life. If they had both pursued in their sports and competed in the Olympics there was a chance they would have met. Small world. Jackson explained to Y/N how he switched his career path and Y/N spoke about the lack of opportunity and motivation in that field left her to divert her attention to architecture. Both succeeding exceptionally well in their fields.

Y/N’S POV

“So, what’s been like your biggest project so far?” Mark asked since you both stopped eating having felt close to full.

“We have an active project going on right now for an eco-hotel set to be built near the end of the bay. The client is a really well-known person although I can’t disclose who he is due to privacy regulations. I can say you are all well aware of who he is that’s for sure. I never imagined someone with such high status would want us to design something for him but yh… we are working on it.” Y/N explained.

“That’s really cool. It’s nice to hear what people are doing in different industries. We are always surrounded by the entertainment industry so it’s nice to see a different expression of creativity going on around us.” You appreciated Mark’s kind words and appreciation for the architecture field. The field didn’t receive much cover and is overlooked so it was nice to hear those words.

“I agree. The same thing goes for you guys. I have one friend who does work got to do with music production although I didn’t really get much insight into what he did. It must be really warming having an audience who support you and your work constantly.” You liked having logical conversations. It seems like Mark’s somebody you would get along with well. He seems very knowledgeable.

“Ali! Can you bring over a couple bottles of soju?”

“Coming right up Jaebeom!”

Ali came pacing to our table and placed 7 glasses and 5 bottles of soju. He knew you didn’t drink.

“You forgot another glass.”

“Ah, I don’t drink.” You waved off Jaebeom.

“Waaa… does that mean we all get to drink? We have a driver to get us home guys!” Jaebeom joked around since you would be sober.

Ali came back since he heard what Jaebeom had said, “7 drunk guys and Y/N that sounds like chaos.”

“Come on Ali! We aren’t that bad drunk, are we?”

“Definitely not Jaebeom.” You picked up on Ali’s sarcasm.

“I’ll join Y/N for today. We won’t drink you guys go ahead.” Jinyoung joined the sober team for today.

“Jinyoung hyung~ you’re like the most entertaining person when drunk. Are you just too scared you’ll end up confessing to Y-“ Yugyeom smacked his hand across Bambam’s mouth and kept it shut. Was he about to say your name? Nah… surely not.

“You guys know I’ve been cutting down on drinking. There’s no other reason besides how wild we are when we are drunk. Can’t let Y/N handle all of 7 of us alone.” You appreciated his concern.

“Thanks.”

…

It took about 20 minutes for all 7 of the guys to be out of it. You and Jinyoung took the opportunity to part from the group and walk along the beach.

You could hear the waves crashing gently in the summer breeze. You took a second to take deep breaths of fresh air.

“Ah…” You sighed as you let out the fresh air, “Don’t you just love the sea?”

“I think I would like it more if I could swim in it.” You giggled at his confession.

“I’ll make that happen one day. I promise.” You smiled up at Jinyoung as you watched your feet sink into the sand as you guys walked. You both stayed silent until something came up to mind.

“I mean you can still have fun in the sea without having to swim in it.”

“Wow, I thought Jaehyun was the dirty minded one. I can see who he learnt it from.” He eyed you knowing that what he was hinting at was most likely something that wasn’t on your mind.

You were gobsmacked. Him too? Were all guys like this?

You slapped his shoulder, “You guys are atrocious. I meant splashing each other.” As you said the word ‘splashing’ you knelt down and splashed water at Jinyoung.

He was ready to win you over at this fight. He retaliated with even more water and caught you off guard. You guys ran up and down the beach trying to splash one another as well as not get caught by the flying water droplets. The cool breeze made the water on your body colder than usual. You guys were practically drenched when you dropped on your ass because your foot got caught sunk in the sand.

“You okay?” Jinyoung crouched down to your level and smiled at you like a child.

“I would be if my ass wasn’t soaked.” He lent you a hand. Was he this naïve? You took the opportunity to give Jinyoung a taste of what it felt like. You grabbed his hand and dragged him done to your level.

“I should have seen that coming.” Damn right he should have. You both chuckled as you watched the moon and the rippling reflection on the sea’s surface.

You started to tear up at the familiar scene although the person beside you wasn’t the person in the flashback. It was Chase. Chase was your ex-boyfriend. He was probably the best shot you had with a guy and things were going well until you found out that he was cheating on you for 2 months with a waitress at Ali’s restaurant. You had shared your ups and downs with him meaning him cheating on you left you extremely hopeless for other guys. Max’s extra possessive and protective reached its peak during that time hence the phone call today. When Ali found out, he fired the waitress immediately knowing how hurt you would feel every time you came across her at the restaurant. Even worse when she was with Chase. You guys would hang out at the beach after meals similar to how you and Jinyoung had today. Although today felt different, Jinyoung meant more to you than Chase in a shorter period of time. You still lacked on so much about Jinyoung, but he never gave off a single bad impression on any occasion. You trusted him.

He realised your mood change.

“Did you come here often with him?” How did he…

“I can tell you haven’t been here alone before. Did you guys come here together before? With the guy Max was about to mention on the phone call.” Smartass.

“Wow, I didn’t even need to explain. You’re spot on.” You let out a chuckle. It must have been really obvious.

“It must suck. We can go back-“

“No, no… I’m not going to let past memories be the reason for me to run away from a beautiful landscape. You being here helps too.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Although my backside is about to drop off.” You had completely forgotten that your bottom halves were being repeatedly soaked by the crashing waves.

“Not having much fat in that area is a struggle isn’t it. I can’t relate.”

“I have you know I have an ass.” You were dying at the confidence. You make sure to check him out secretly when the peach is in view.

“Clearly not big enough for the cold.” He pushed you over and your back got soaked from the damp sand.

“Ahhhh! Jinyoung I’m gonna catch a cold. It’s freezing!”

You were going to get your pay back. You launched your hands onto his shoulder in the hopes that he would also fall back but you underestimated his strength. You guys squabbled trying to put the other down. As expected he had you done in no time grasped onto your wrists. Some water droplets from his shirts fell down onto your warm skin. The position you guys were in raised the heat of your body at an unhealthy rate. Your faces were inches away just like how they were at during the water dodgeball game. Your chests heaved trying to get back your breaths, but he looked too good to be true. How could you go back to breathing normally when he looked gorgeous?

“Still cold?” He swept you away from your thoughts.

“Y-Yh…” You were boiling to be exact.

“This should help.” He dropped lower towards your face. Your noses brushed each other’s, and you could now feel his warm breath across your face. He looked deeply into your eyes as if there was a transcript written in them. He took his time analysing your features until he got to your lips. He couldn’t help staring at your lips for a little longer than your other features until he couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to make the first move he wanted to make since the beginning.

He teased your lips slowly making contact with them not knowing this was going to be the beginning of something life changing. You moulded into his lips and you could understand that he wanted this as much as you did. The passion as he moved trying to taste every inch of you made you blame yourself for not noticing his interest sooner. You were most definitely not cold anymore.

You were happy that your interests were not one sided and couldn’t wait for what else this new possible love had in store.

---

Thank fudge cakes this episode is over. I apologise for how late this episode has been. I think the word count being close to 10k explains why it took so long. I struggled to find a place to stop for this episode, so I just continued writing until I was happy with it. A lot goes down in this episode so grab a snack and enjoy. It was also really nice bringing in some native tongue into the series. I’d like to get your opinions on whether I should continue with the native tongue conversations between Y/N and Ali. I also introduced Y/N’s full time job. I hope it was a nice surprise for you guys. Until next episode 👋

writer-nim x

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shereadsandwritesformelanin · 4 years ago

Text

The Baker And Her Actor: part IV [Click, Click, and Post!]

Parings: Chris Evans x Black Fem!Reader

Summary: You meet Chris while making a house delivery for the Evans. He can’t get you off of his mind, and to be honest neither can you.

Warnings: profanity, sexual content, angst, but overall fluff!

Notes: I hope you guys enjoy! If you have any request feel free to share those. Leave comments in the notes section!

Previous parts: (1) (2) (3) (3 cont.)

Y/n’s Point Of View:

Body aching, you shift once more before waking up.

You let out a loud groan of fustration. You’d beeen tossing and turning all night.

You were sad and felt like an idiot for what you did to Chris. Running off like Cinderella with no explinatiom was just so pathetic, especially after the perfect night you to had.

You knew you wanted to take things slow and you should have just conveyed that instead of running off no questions asked.

You needed to make things right.

Rolling over reaching into your night stan you grab your phone yanking out the charger.

Two missed calls from Kiara.

One text message from deac.

Three twitter notifications.

Nothing from Chris.

Sighing, you make your way over to the messages app. Opening up the messages between you and Chris.

Reluctantly you begin typing worried to wake him or if he’d be too upset and just leave you on read, and well who could you really blame if he did.

Y/n: Hi.

It had been fifteen minutes since you sent that lackluster texts message.

He’d probably seen it and thrown it and you away for some other hot Hollywood chick he had stored in his phone.

How was it possible to even screw that up.

Well great job Y/n another one bites the dust.

Chris’s Point Of View:

I’d be lying if i say I hadn’t seen your message. I wasn’t busy, I wasn’t doing anything at all.

I was just confused. You had me confused, confused enough to sit on my sofa coffee in hand watching my phone hoping you’d text again or even call.

I shouldn’t be a dick. I’m sure you had your reasons for pulling away, maybe it was too fast or you weren’t really into me.

Were you using me?

No I can’t think that, you’d never. You didn’t seem like the type. If you were you’d done it already and wash your hands with me by now.

Just fucking text her back, meatball.

Chris: Hi.

Y/n’s Point Of View:

Your phone pinged from across the room. Hearing the alert almost made you jump across the terrain of your bedroom.

Notification from The Captain.

Your heart nearly stopped. He finally responded like you hoped he would.

The Captain: Hi.

Shit he seems upset.

Call him.

Setting aside your nerves and pride you dial his number hoping he’d pick up so you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself once more.

Pick up.

C’mon pick up

Just pick up th-.

“Hello.” His raspy voice answers.

“Hello- erm good morning.” You state attempting to should chipper.

“Good morning y/n.” Chris repeats.

Just cut to the chase.

“So..about last night.’ You mutter. “I just want you to know it’s not you I promise I’m just stupid and shouldn’t have pulled away you were nothing but great I just. I’m not sure why I did that.”

Lying obviously.

“Y/n. You don’t have to explain anything to me, I’m not upset. I’d be lying if I say I wasn’t shocked and confused. But I’m not upset or blaming you.” Chris reassures.

Even through the phone he managed to convey his bubbling emotions.

“Can I see you today.” You ask nerves bubbling in your chest.

“What do you have in mind?”

You arrive at Chris’s house after an slight delay at the security gate. You couldn’t believe they thought you were there to “violate the tenants homes.”

Y/n: I’m outside.

The Captain: Im coming.

Finally you see Chris, jogging out of his home making sure to lock the door on his way out.

You unlock the door allowing him to jump into the passenger seat.

“Hey, sorry I was late dodger was being a tad bit fussy.” Chris apologizes.

“No, I’m sorry you have to be in my half ass car.” You joke

“No it’s great. Seriously!’ Chris reassures. “You got leather seats and Evan a sun roof.”

“Chris its a thirteen year old car, I’m suprised she’s still going.”

“Speaking of going. Where are we going?” Chris quips

“You’ll see.” You smirk

“A farmers market?” Chris questions stepping out of the car.

“Yes this is where I get my produce I don’t want any of the pesticides in grocery store produce.” You explain grabing your reusable grocery bags from the back seat.

“I hadn’t even thought about that before.’ Chris admits. “Let me get that for you.” Taking the bags from you slinging them over his shoulder.

You notice him slipping on some sun glasses. It wasn’t sunny at all, it was actually quite dull out.

“What’s with the glasses MIB?” You tease.

“Just not in the mood to be recognized, thats all.”

Sometimes when you were with Chris it slipped your mind that he was a wildly famous A-list celebrity. So you could understand the need for privacy and not wanting to be noticed all the time.

“Mm.’ You say. “Oh I always wanna get these Dutch donuts for my team. They’ve been working so hard I think they deserve something.”

“That’s sweet of you. I can help you bring them.” Chris offers

“If you want, but warning kiaras there and she’ll be a little bit over the top.” You warn

“Yeah I figured that when she pretended to not know I was in the house on our date.” Chris admits chuckling lightly.

You let a small smile paint your face thinking back to your date. “So about our date, I really wanna be honest and transparent here.” You say picking threw a pile of apples.

Chris faces you giving his undivided attention. It was clear to him there was something you wanted to get off your chest since you continued to peruse the conversation.

“It’s just, I haven’t talked to a guy, been with a guy, touched a guy in five years since my last serious relationship and I freaked out.” You admit sheepishly.

You couldn’t look at him you were too embarrassed.

You felt Chris slip his hand onto your free one rubbing across its skin comforting.

“Y/n like I said before you don’t have to explain it to me. I’m not upset, but I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me this. I want what you want. We can take this as slow as you’d like.” Chris clarifies

You for sure felt like Chris was a safe space for you. He wasn’t judging you or shaming you. He was kind and understanding, another thing you loved about him.

“Let’s get their donuts.” You say.

“Ladies first.” Chris smirks opening the door for you, hands full of donut boxes.

You cheeks burn the heat rising he definitely knew what he was doing being so cheeky.

“Guys I brought snacks!” You shout hoping to catch their attention in the back.

Kiara springs out from the kitchen, hair in a bun outfit covered in flour. “Yes you did, and I’m not talking about the food.” Kiara flirts undressing Chris with her eyes.

Chris erupts in a belly laugh. You knew she was only kidding but you felt a little jealous, even though he wasn’t yours.

“Okay.’ You interrupt sass in your voice. “so I have different assortments of donuts. So take your pick and choose wisely.”

You feel a familiar hand rest on your shoulder. “You okay.” Chris ask eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, yes I’m great.” You lie shaking off the bad vibes.

Chris shoots you a small smile, Warming your heart.

You notice Deac coming out of the kitchen. Arms crossed tightly.

“What’s all this.” Deacon speaks.

“Uh this, is me bringing you guys a treat for you hard work.” You motion to all the donuts

“And him.” Deac points at Chris .

The room goes stiff.

Please not now.

Deacon let’s out a sarcastic chuckle. “I just don’t understand, I’ve known your for a long ass time and you’ve never gone out with me, there is always some excuse, but you meet mr. hot shot Hollywood and your all over him. Just don’t be disappointed when he lets you down y/n.” Deacon states practically shouting.

The room was silent as he threw his Apron down rushing out of the building.

Your heart raced, turning to face Chris you notice he was quite red. Clearly flustered but what just went down.

“I should go.” Chris states hesitantly

“How you didn’t drive?” You remind him

“Don’t worry about me.” Chris says turning to walk out.

“Chris Wait!” You shout following him out.

“Y/n, it’s fine I should get going anyway. I don’t wanna damper the party.” Chris admits voice soft

“You aren’t, please don’t be mad.” You plead

Chris brings you in for a hug placing a small kiss on your hairline. “I’m not mad I promise.” Chris states

You both stay embrace in each other for what seems like an eternity.

A sudden shift in Chris body causes your eyes to shoot open. “Shit.” He whispers shouts

Pulling back immediately.

“What, what is it?” You question anxiously

“I got to go, go back inside please.” Chris begs walking away.

You follow his orders walking back in side completely baffled by what’s just happened.

Chris’s Point Of View:

Getting back home I quickly get on the phone.

“Megan, yeah we have a problem.” I state prepared to tell her everything.

Everything about how I’d been seeing you, how a pap had just shot about 50 photos of us in the span of .5 seconds.

This wasn’t good, and was the last thing I wanted for you.

“Chris this could be all over the news by tomorrow morning, what were you thinking.” Megan shouts

“I wasn’t! I thought we were safe!” I rebuttle.

“How do you know she didn’t call the paparazzi? It wouldn’t be the first time someone you’ve been talking to has done that.” She reminds me

Sitting back down I place my head in my palms fustrated. “I know I know.” I repeat.

“We can fix this, we have to for y/n’s sake she isn’t ready for the wolves yet.” I speak.

A/n: so like I stated previously this is based off the beauty and the baker on abc and I don’t wanna pull to far from that. So Deacon is gonna be our Vanessa 🤣.

But I know things seem rocky but they are in a good spot. Their both confused and now Chris is angry that he put you in that position to get violated by the public.

Kiara is just jokingly flirting nothing serious she supports them!

This is gonna be a long tale for our love birds. ❤️

Tag list:

@toniilaney

#henry cavill #chris evans angst #chris evans #chris evans fandom #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x y/n #Chris Evans x poc #Chris Evans x black reader #Chris Evans x ofc #Chris Evans X woc #chris evans imagine #slow burn #slow build #relationship #chris evans smut

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calumance · 4 years ago

Text

LA Devotee - Part XIX

Warnings: heart wrenching angst, cussing, drinking

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary: Emily has arrived at her conference, but that doesn’t mean she can stop thinking about Calum. Nothing seems to be going right anymore, that is until she gets home.

A/N: Oof, I’m sorry this is so late. I hope you guys enjoy it! Happy reading!!!! 🥰🥰🥰 Feedback and requests are always welcomed! (Want to be notified when I post stuff? Let me know!)

Masterlist

I dropped my bags on the hotel floor and flicked on the light switch. The door shut behind me and I looked around the room. If Calum stays in rooms that look anything like this, I don’t know how he doesn’t lose his mind. After a second I walked to the window and tossed the curtains open. The view was the brick building next to the hotel, if I leaned forward and pressed my left cheek to the glass, I could see one billboard from Times Square. I closed the curtains with a sigh and sat on the end of the bed, dropping my head into my hands. This is going to be a horrible week.

My phone dinged, and I dropped my hands and leaned back, my eyebrows furrowing. My eyebrows released and my heart started to race when I saw Calum’s name. I swiped up to unlock my phone and read the message, “Just landed in LA, hope you had a safe flight. Cal” A sigh escaped my chest and I set my phone on the bed next to me. My heart beat one more time before another message came through. Without moving my body, I reached next to me and grabbed my phone then reluctantly read the message, “I miss you so much. I can’t wait until I can hold you in my arms again, Emily. I’ll call you when I get home.” I tossed my phone behind me, letting it bounce on the mattress. After letting a few thoughts run through my head, I pushed myself off the bed and walked to the bathroom to take a shower before I had to be in a meeting in two hours.

The mirrors in the bathroom were coated with steam. The fan in the bathroom barely worked and made a horrible screeching noise when I turned it on. After I stepped out of the shower, I wrapped the towel around my hair and body then walked out of the bathroom. The screen on my phone lit up as the ringtone sounded. My heart raced as I walked around the bed and leaned over to see who it was. Seeing Calum’s name, I closed my eyes and let out a breath. Before I could miss the call, I answered the call, “Hello?” I tried to keep the attitude suppressed, but a small amount seeped through. Noticing it, I held my breath and sat on the bed, waiting for Calum to say something.

“Hey,” He said, the sound of the door shutting in the background. “How was your flight?” There was a thud in the background, resembling the sound of his bag hitting the floor.

I cleared my throat, “It was good. How was your trip home?” Tears started to well in my eyes and I looked up at the ceiling. My heart hurt, I just wanted to tell him I love him, but the fear of our lives moving in two different directions over taking my feelings.

“It was good. It feels good to be home.” His voice cracked, causing him to clear his throat and stop his thoughts.

My chest felt tight, and the phone call suddenly got heavy. “Listen, I have to be in a meeting in an hour. I’m going to let you go so I can get ready.” He stumbled over his words before he gave me a simple ‘yeah.’ I gave him a simple goodbye and hung up, tossing my phone on the bed again. I squatted next to my suitcase and pulled out a pair of black dress pants, a gray chiffon t-shirt, and my bright red blazer. After I dried my hair and put on some makeup, I pulled on a pair of black pump wedges. I grabbed my notebook and my phone and headed to the conference room off to the right of the lobby of the hotel.

Half way through the meeting, I could feel my phone vibrate, but I decided to ignore it. It wasn’t until they released us for a break that I checked my phone. There was a text message from Mikayla, a missed call and a voicemail from Calum. I started with Mikayla’s text message: “Holy crap I hate you not being here. Like, I know you have your own office and stuff now, but it’s completely different with you not here at all. Please come back to me. Creepy Gary is hitting on me again. S.O.S Love you!” My chest jumped with a silent laugh and I typed back “Ew, punch him, tell the boss it was self-defense (just kidding don’t do that, you’ll get fired and I can’t handle that.) Love you too!”

My breathing became labored as I stared at the notification on my voicemail. My heart pounded in my chest and my ears as I put the phone to my ear to listen to the voicemail. “Emily,” He sounded like he had had one too many drinks, but still coherent enough to speak logically, “I guess you’re still in your meeting. Thank you for all of the groceries, and you cleaned the house.” His voice broke and he cleared his throat. “I – “ He paused, “Call me back.” He hung up and the voicemail ended. I looked around the room to see if anyone was looking at me and wiped a tear from my face. Before I got a chance to call Calum back, they called us back into the meeting.

When I got back to my hotel room, the first thing I wanted to do was take my shoes off. After I tossed them to the side, I stood at the end of the bed and fell backwards, allowing myself to bounce against the mattress. I tapped on Mikayla’s contact and pressed the speaker to my ear, listening to the dial tone, until she answered, “Oh thank god you called me, Creepy Gary was talking to me and I was able to walk away because my phone was ringing. How’s the conference?” Her voice was cheery, it made the pain in my chest dissipate.

I chuckled, “Glad I could save you. It’s alright, today was a meeting about what we are going to talk about and explore while we’re here. Although it was good information, the speaker is so monotone that I thought my head was actually going to explode.” My pointer finger and thumb rubbed the ridge above my eyebrows while Mikayla laughed.

Mikayla cleared her throat, “Have you and Calum worked everything out?” Her voice was no longer cheery and bright, it turned serious and motherly. Never in the time that I’ve known her have I regretted telling her literally everything, but right now I do, only because it’s still an open wound.

I swallowed hard, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. It stayed lodged in my throat as I shook my head against the bed. “No, I don’t know, Mikayla. What if he tells me it’s over and we’re done? I dropped everything for him. I have nowhere to go if this is it.” I licked my lips, keeping the tears at bay.

Mikayla sighed, “Not that I’m saying this is the end, but if that ends up happening, which let me emphasize that I don’t think it will, you can always stay with me.” She paused and sighed again, “Have you tried to talk to him about everything that happened?”

“No, he left me a voicemail while I was in the meeting and he sounded like he was a bit tipsy, so I’m not sure right now is the best time to talk to him.” I stopped rubbing my brow ridge and covered my face with my hand, letting my elbow fall to the side. Mikayla hummed, not in agreement, but in understanding. “Hey, I’m going to go grab some food and then I’m going to get some sleep, I’m exhausted. I’ll call you tomorrow. Avoid Creepy Gary at all costs, you hear me?” She laughed in response and said goodbye before we both hung up. I allowed my phone to fall on my chest, and closed my eyes. Even though I didn’t think tonight was the best night to talk to him, not calling him back was just going to feed the fire.

The dial tone pierced my ear drums while I waited for Calum to pick up. When he did, there was loud music for a second and then it went completely silent before he sighed my name. “Sorry I didn’t call back,” I said in a monotone voice. “The meeting was longer than I thought it was going to be. What did you need?” He started rambling something, all of his words slurring together, making him hard to understand. I sat up and sat crisscrossed on the bed and tried to concentrate on what he was saying. Something about the food in the fridge and the yard being picked up. “Calum, you’re drunk and I can barely understand you.” He mumbled a few more things and then the call ended. “What the fuck was that?” I said to myself and tossed my phone onto the night stand. Leaving it there while I went to the restaurant in the lobby to grab some food.

The entire trip resembled something of the first night. Meetings all day, every day, no time to really go out and see the city. The furthest I got to touring was going to the Red Lobster in Times Square for dinner on Friday night. Calum and I spent little time talking, and it was starting to drive me absolutely mad. My flight home leaves Monday night, and he flies out to their next destination on Monday morning. Whatever was keeping us from seeing each other was really starting to get on my last nerve.

Even though the office is closed on Sunday’s in LA, and most other places, we still had a meeting all day. After I was able to sit through the last meeting, the only thing I had to look forward to was getting to spend all day tomorrow getting ready to go home. For whatever reason, I didn’t feel like eating tonight, instead I went to the bar in the hotel. I was on my fourth long island iced tea and the alcohol was started to blur my thoughts. Blurring all of the ones except for the ones about Calum. Which, ironically, where the ones I was trying to blur. My fingers moved backwards in my hair, stopping half way so I could put the weight of my head in my hand. In a moment my phone was in my free hand, and I was staring at the picture of Calum and I still set as my background. My eyes closed, feeling the physical pain of not talking to him. My other hand dropped from my hair and to my phone as the alcohol dissolved my internal filter.

I sent the message without thinking, and my heart stopped after I read it to myself: “If you want to end our relationship, will you just do it? I don’t think my body or my heart can handle this much pain anymore.” I felt like an idiot for sending the message, but there’s no way to take it back. I started typing again, trying to back pedal. “I’m sorry I didn’t go and see you on tour. I fucked up, I keep thinking about how you told me I was selfish, and I fucking am. I’m so sorry, I know you hate me and probably don’t actually want to see me even if we do ever get the chance to see each other again, but just know I’m sorry. I can pack up all my things when I get home on tomorrow and be out of your life forever.” I sent the message and put my phone face down on the bar. My mouth found the straw and I finished the drink and asked for another one.

As I finished my fifth drink, I found the courage to look at my phone. I squinted when I saw a single text message from Calum. When I opened my phone, I held my breath as I realized it was a long message. As I exhaled, I started reading, “What? Emily. I don’t hate you, and I definitely don’t want to end our relationship. You are selfish, but It comes with being hurt. Yeah, I’m upset that you didn’t visit me and yeah, I’m mad that I haven’t seen you in two fucking months, but that does NOT mean we’re never going to see each other again. I know you’ve been through a lot of shit in the past, and so have I. Just because there’s a bit of a snag in our relationship doesn’t mean I don’t want to fight for it. I miss you so fucking bad. Baby, I’d wait ten years to see you again, if that’s what I’d have to do. Please don’t pack your things up, I never want you to leave.” I dropped my phone face down and held my breath to not cry in front of every person sitting in the bar. Before I broke, I asked for my check and bounced my leg to contain myself. I made it to the elevator but once the doors shut and I knew I was by myself, I broke down. Broke down to the point where I could barely stand. I squatted and put my face in my hands and tried to compose myself.

The elevator dinged and I stood up quickly, a head rush causing me to take a step back. As I hastily walked down the hallway, I pulled my hotel room key out of my pocket. The door swung open, a loud thud as it hit the wall. I threw my phone on the bed and watched it bounce hard enough to fall onto the floor. That’s where it stayed as I curled into a ball in the chair by the window and continued to cry the alcoholic buzz away.

The sun shining through the floor to ceiling windows behind me caused my back to heat up. People running through the airport towards their flight, while other people sat and waited for the flights to take off. I looked towards the agent stand while the gate agents shuffled to get everything ready to start loading the plane that was going to take me back to Los Angeles. My phone vibrated, a message from Mikayla expressing how happy she was that I’d be back at work in the morning. I switched over to my message thread with Calum and for the hundredth time, I read his message he sent me yesterday night. After the long message, there were a few good morning and good night messages, all from him. Maybe he knew that I didn’t know how to respond to him, even if he didn’t, I still appreciated the fact that he hadn’t given up. I glanced at the time and wondered if he was on his flight yet. Wanting to try to talk to him one more time before I got home, I put the phone to my ear as the call rang out. Multiple different options of what I could say to him ran through my mind as the call rang out. The call went to voicemail and I hung up. Nothing I wanted to say to him was voicemail appropriate. Just as I put my phone back in my pocket, they started boarding the flight.

It was late when I finally made it home, and it was weird to not be greeted by the little black and white dog who is the best company with Calum not here. Crystal had texted me earlier in the day letting me know that Calum had dropped him off there since he wasn’t sure what time I’d be getting home. I lugged my bags into the bedroom and dropped them on the bed. If I didn’t start to unpack now, I probably would never do it. As I opened my suitcase, I tossed all of my dirty clothes in the hamper in the corner of the room, then grabbed my toiletries and walked into the bathroom. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a sticky note on the bathroom mirror. Calum’s hand writing was scribbled across the note with the words “You’re beautiful” scrawled on it. After I dropped all of my thing in the sink, I grabbed the sticky note off the mirror and held it between my fingers, staring at it as if this is the only piece of him I had left. I held it to my chest as I walked out of the bathroom.

After I had set the sticky note down on my phone, I grabbed the hamper full of dirty clothes and walked down the hallway towards the laundry room. When I switched on the light, I found another sticky note sitting on the top of the washing machine. My heart fluttered as I peeled the note off to read it. “You’re amazing” scrawled on the note. My cheeks flushed and I set it to the side as I threw a load of laundry into the washing machine. Before I walked out, I grabbed the note then made my way back into the bedroom. I took a picture of the sticky notes and sent the picture to him with a message saying “Thank you, Calum. Hope you have a safe flight.” I dropped my phone onto the bed so I could finish getting ready for bed.

I crawled under the covers, after making sure the house was locked up, and grabbed my phone. A message from Calum waiting for me to read. My lips twitched into a smile as I unlocked my phone. “There’s more, hope you find them all. Just landed in London, it’s the morning here, and from what I’ve learned through my traveling is it’s night there. Good night, gorgeous. Text me when you wake up. Xx” My heart fluttered as I set my phone on the night stand and rolled over. As I placed my head on my pillow, Calum’s cologne suddenly filled my nose. Instinctually, I reached over and grabbed at the sheets. As the intoxicating scent filled my nose, I pulled myself onto his side of the bed, drowning myself in a pool of his scent. A smile stretching across my face as it lulled me to sleep.

The second my alarm went off I knew I should’ve taken today off to rest, but I needed every day I could get because I was going to visit Calum before he came home again. My hand searched for the alarm to shut it off and I sat up rubbing my tired eyes. Through squinted eyes, I reached over and grabbed my phone off the side table. My fingers lazily tapped a good morning message to Calum before I pushed myself off the bed, then stumbled my way into the bathroom. The reason I take showers in the morning is they wake me up, if I took showers at night, I probably would never function like a normal human. With that being said, this shower did absolutely nothing to wake me up.

The steam rolled out of the bathroom as I opened the door back into the bedroom. The sun was starting to come up and my head was starting to throb from the exhaustion. There was no way I could put more than ten minutes of thought into my outfit, so I pulled out a pair of black leggings, a black and white striped loose fitting t-shirt, a pair of white converse and a black blazer. Blazer’s always dress up any outfit, in my mind. I ran a brush through my hair, but let it hang so it could dry naturally, which would eventually lead to some completely uneven waves. The only amount of makeup I could bring myself to put on was some foundation, mascara, and a quick fill of my eyebrows.

After I grabbed my phone, I walked to the kitchen and my eyebrows narrowed seeing a sticky note stuck to the coffee maker, “You’re strong, just like this coffee (just press start).” I let out a chuckle and pulled the note off and pressed the start button. As the coffee brewed, I walked around the house to gather everything I needed to take back to work. Once I had everything gathered, I walked back into the kitchen and opened the cabinet where my travel mug had found its home when I wasn’t using it. On the travel mug there was another sticky note, my cheeks immediately flushing, “You are the definition of warmth (this mug keeps your coffee warm).” I chuckled at how cheesy the notes were getting, then set it with the one from the coffee maker. As I twist the cap onto my travel mug, I check the time and run to the front door to grab my bag. My bag sat on my shoulder heavily, and I flicked my hair out of my face noticing a sticky note on the door. I read it, but didn’t remove it from the door. “You’re going to do great things today.” At the end of the note was a heart, and my heart skipped a beat. I loved him so much, I just wish I had the chance to tell him.

************

Tag list: @notinthesameguey @viiirg0 @thinkofmehlgh @another-lonely-heart @limer-encia @itsmytimetoodream @babyoria @treatallwithkindness

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lostinyourparadise98 · 5 years ago

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Somewhere only we know

Listen to somewhere only we know by Keane (:

I stare blankly at the e-mail in front of me, in my five years of being a marketing director I never believed that this job could bite me this hard in the ass. Out of all the venues in the world he had to come to ours. I fight the lump that swells in my throat, I refuse to cry over him anymore.

I jump once I hear my phone buzz across my coffee table, its my best friend/ coworker Ronnie. I take a deep breath and hit the green answer button on the screen.

“Hello.”

I silently curse at myself for sounding so fragile. This can't be happening I can't go threw the pain of missing him anymore.

“Did you see the email Vick sent out?” Her voice is shaky and filled with concern.

“Im looking at it right now.” I scroll back to the top of the message just to make sure I'm not completely losing my mind. Maybe I read it wrong, maybe its a different Shawn?

“Are you okay y/n?”

I take a shaky breath trying to compose myself, but its too hard its always so fucking hard. I let myself break and before I know it I feel the tears roll down my cheeks.

“I was doing fine, I was moving on and now, now I have to see him again. Ronnie, I don't think I can do this.”

“You won't have to do it alone y/n. Ill be there with you, if it becomes too much for you just put your hand on my shoulder and I will take over.”

“It never use to be like this, he was my best friend and now I can't even say his name without crying.” I let Ronnie continue to console me as my mind begins to wander. I still remember one of the last conversations we had

It was the summer before my sixteenth birthday, I was alone in my room one night just listening to music and enjoying the breeze that flew in from the outside.I heard a loud ding come from my pocket, pulling out my phone I smiled once I realized who the notification was from.

Shawn: Hey, I know its late right now but do you think we could talk?”

I scrunched my eyebrows in concern hoping that the boy was okay.

y/n: Of course we can, do you want me to call you?

He responded a lot faster than I had expected

Shawn: Come to your window.

I rushed over to my window and peaked out. A young Shawn stood with his hands tucked into his pockets, a hood covering his curly brown hair. He lifted his pinky and thumb bringing them to his ear as a way to show me that he wanted me to call him. I quickly got back on my phone, clicking his name and watching him dig his phone out of his hoodie.

“Hey.” he answered

“Hey, why didn't you tell me you were coming?”

“I didn't even know I was coming, I went for a walk and just ended up here.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just really needed to see you.” My heart began to race, I tried to hide the grin that danced across my face.

“I see you.” I giggle

“Can I come up?” His voice is shaky, something is definitely wrong

I looked over my shoulder and noticed my bedroom door was open a crack, I quickly ran to close and lock it behind me.

“Yeah, just as long as you promise not to bust your shit like the last time.”

“First of all that wasn't even my fault, you made me laugh and I got distracted.”

“Whatever you say Mendes, just try to be quiet.”

“Alright I'm coming.” He hangs up and I quickly throw on my favorite bunny slippers. I open the window wider, carefully making my way out to the roof and situate myself. I can hear Shawn climbing his way up from the shed on the side of my house. I chuckle once I hear a loud bump and a frustrated Shawn haarshley shout. “fuck”

He peaks out from the corner of the house rubbing his knee. I try my best not to laugh but fail miserably. He hangs onto the side of the house as he makes his way to sit next to me.

“I told you not to-” he pushes his finger to my lips and shushes me

“Don't say anything.” we both chuckle

“Nice fit.” I look down at my pjs and bunny slippers

“Who dragged who out of their home at 1:00 Am?”

“Im kidding you look cute.” He's my friend, he's my friend, he's my friend.

“So whats going on?” He pulls his knees into his chest copying me.

“I got into a fight with my parents.”

“What about?” He looks up at the stars taking a long breath

“You're my best friend and you know I would never start anything I couldn't finish. Ive been spending last more time with my guitar, I've been practicing with my voice just to see what I can actually do and Ive come a long way. I think I could go further y/n. I told my parents I don't think Ill be going to college and they flipped out. They support my dream, and they believe in me but they just want me to have a plan B ya know? I just have this feeling that Im not supposed to be here the rest of my life. Ive never had a passion like this before y/n and I want to try to make it, I know thats stupid.”

“Shawn that is not stupid, you are so talented. I know I always joke around that you sing and play too much when we hang out but you are amazing. I have so much faith in you Shawn. There is no doubt in my mind that you could make it big one day.”

“Really?” He gently pushes his shoulder against mine

“Yes! you should start writing your own music.”

“I don't think I could do that.”

“The hell you couldn't.”

“y/n be quiet your parents are going to hear you.” he laughs

“I don't care, stop doubting yourself. You're amazing and you can do anything you put your mind too. Just try it out, yeah its going tour hard at first but over time you will learn and get better. You should start posting your covers, get your name out there. And five years into the future when you win your first grammy you can thank me and say, wow that y/n girl really knew what she was talking about.”

“I love you so much, I want you in my life forever y/n.”

“You mean that?” I whisper

“With all my heart. You're the best friend I have ever had, you're the only person who encourages me to take a risk, to go after my dreams. I don't know what I would do without you.” We just stare at each other for awhile, God I never want him to stop looking at me like that. The smile on both our faces never drop. He slowly leans down till his back is flat on the roof, he opens his arms and looks at me.

“Come here.” He says gently I have to hold myself from flinging my body into his arms. I rest my head on his chest, his heart is beating fast. I lay my hand on his tummy, he quickly picks my hand up and intertwines my fingers with his.

“you know what?” he whispers

“What?”

“If this dream of mine comes true..”

“When your dream comes true, not if.”

“If, this dream of mine comes true, I promise you I will get the both of us out of here. You can come on tour with me and write to your hearts content. Ill make a kick ass album, you'll release a beautiful book and we can just spend the rest of our days doing what we love, traveling the world together.”

“You have this all planned out don't you?”

“Of course I do, its me and you till the end.”

“Even if I get so big my books become movies, and I have to leave you to direct them, and then I eventually fall in love with one of the actors on set and-”

Now its his turn to cut me off. “Y/N no matter what ends up happening I will aways love and be here for you.”

“No matter what?” I ask

“No matter what, we have nothing to worry about, nothing can tear us apart. When we both make our dreams come true we can disappear to a place only we know the world is ours y/n.” Shawn pulls me closer to his chest, he continues to look up at the stars and sighs in content

“Lets stay out here as long as possible, the stars are perfect tonight.”

He doesn't break contact with the stars while I look up at him. I look at him in awe.

“Perfect, you could say that again.”

Im pulled back to reality once I hear Ronnie shouting my name.

“I’m sorry I got distracted, what did you say?”

“I said we should go to the pier to get your mind off things. The stars are supposed to be perfect tonight.”

“Perfect, I doubt that.”

the end

HELLO EVERYONE!!!! I hope y'all enjoyed Should I do a part two where y/n and Shawn see each other after all these years?? Let me known in the comments below!!!! (:

#Shawn Mendes #Shawn Mendes fluff #Shawn Mendes fan fiction #Shawn mendes imagines #Shawn x reader #shawnmendes #shawnmendesimagines #shawnmendesfluff #shawnmendes2019 #inmyblood #fallin all in you #writing #love #Shawnmendesfanfiction

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kathillards · 6 years ago

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rangerstop day one

ALSO KNOWN AS: BITCH EVERY POWER RANGER REMEMBERED US FROM MORPHICON (except selwyn. but hes still valid.)

so we avoided the megaforce rangers all day bc we wanted to surprise them at our photo op so for most of the con we wandered around looking at art and toys and bought so much shit oh my god there are so many talented artists here one lady was selling POTTED CLAY DOLLS and i almost bought a kat doll but. restraint. because i spent $80 at ceevee’s table and i still want more from him (he also remembered me from morphicon I LOVE POWER RANGERS YOU GUYS. I LOVE POWER RANGERS SO MUCH. I DONT HAVE ANY MORE ROOM ON MY WALL FOR THESE PRINTS BUT IM GONNA FUCKING MAKE ROOM.)

FIRST UP mike ginn because i got ceevee’s huge rpm gold and silver prints to get signed by them and the minute i got up to his table he was like “oh hi didn’t i see you at morphicon” and i was like YES and he was like “and weren’t there a bunch of you” and i was like YEAH LOOK ITS MY FRIENDS and he was like “and one of them was like super shy” because at pmc abbey had told him that our friend tabby loved him but was shy so he called her “shy tabby” and we all pointed at tabby who was trying to hide from him and we were all laughing and he just pointed at her for a minute to tease her and then he walked around his table and got behind her and pretended he was gonna jump at her it was so FUNNY AND CUTE HE LOVES HER HES THE CUTEST and he wanted us all to be in the pic i bought and i mean who am i to say no to mike ginn, the greatest gold ranger of all time

SECOND well li ming was busy (bc she’s a LEGENDARY RANGER BITCH WE STAN THE QUEEN OF RPM) so we turned around and jessica rey was there and SHE WAS LIKE “DIDNT I MEET YOU GUYS AT MORPHICON” because we talked to her for like literally 20 minutes at pmc just shittalking jdf and we were like HELL YEAH ugh she’s the cutest and we again talked to her for like 20 minutes (no shittalking this time) about what we loved about wild force and she was telling us about the alyssa’s father episode bc duh thats our fave and how the actor who played her father was like a famous actor but she knew him bc he was the real dad of one of the PAs and she didnt know he was famous and it was so cute shes so cute and tabby bought a white tiger hat from her (and a bunch of other things BUT THE HATS WERE HAND-CROCHETED THEYRE SO CUTE) and she was telling us just like. shit that happened in her day. and we LOVE her shes so great. AND THEN while we were talking to jessica, ann marie crouch came back bc they’re sharing a booth!! and she was dressed in her princess shayla outfit!! so kat and ben started talking to her god shes so nice and beautiful and she was selling little christmas ornaments of her flowers from her headband they’re so pretty and i told her “wild force rangers are ON POINT with the merch bc everyone else just has headshots” and she was like omg did you hear that w/ her handler and they high-fived (bc her handler made the ornaments) AND THEYRE SO CUTE. JESSICA TOLD US TO COME BACK SO WE WILL bc we have more things to get signed by them. she was also wearing a white tiger wild force hoodie she looked so cute.

THIRD then li ming was free and ofc i had to get her to sign my rpm silver print and shes SO NICE AND PRETTY AND she asked us what the japanese on the print said and we were like “it says you’re the best rpm ranger” and that gem’s said “my sister is cooler than me” and she laughed and we told her how much we loved her in the anniversary and how she was the strongest and most powerful rpm ranger and how she was the REAL LEADER gosh i love her and then we took my photo and SHE LET ME HOLD HER RPM TOY GUN THING i love herrr

FOURTH oh god okay so abbey couldnt be here but we wanted to get her shit so we went to sean cw johnson’s table bc duh and sapphire steph (of sapphire management, she handles like. a lot of rangers. SHES SO COOL) was handling him and we were talking to her and kat facetimed abbey to show her all of sean’s merch and he had these little coins that we got for abbey and asked if he could sign them and we were just talking to steph i dont even know about what i love her and abbey was on the phone and we were like telling them that she loves lightspeed thats why we’re facetiming and SEAN ASKED TO FACETIME HER AND SAY HI bc she was right there and also i showed him and steph abbey’s little carter art of “get in losers we’re going demon hunting” and they both LOVED IT and then he was like “wait ive seen this art before” and i was like “yeah bc you fucking replied to my tweet about how dino charge is better than lightspeed” and he was like “oh yes i do remember that you said it was worse than watching paint dry and you wanted to gouge your eyes out with a spoon” and i was like I DIDNT SAY THAT I WASNT THAT MEAN (i was pretty mean, im so sorry sean i love you) im not gonna link the tweet bc I CANT BELIEVE HE FUCKING REPLIED TO IT AND REMEMBERED bc he was like “i’m not even on social media” and i was like “well you popped up in my notifs soooo” and he was like “no i respect your opinion even if you’re wrong” lmao and he asked what i didnt like about it and obviously i couldnt say “too many white people” to his face so i said i watched 20 episodes it was boring and we HATED captain mitchell bc we hate shitty mentors and we only love rangers and he was like “okay that’s fair” and i was like “and i didnt like that carter had this whole hero worship thing of captain mitchell when he was a shitty dad and like... is this your king???” (i literally said that why am i like this) and he was like “oh well he was kind of my king” and steph was cracking up at the black panther reference she was like “you guys are a hoot” oh and then we got him to do a video shout out where he says abbeys fave line “freeze missiles? sounds cool” and we were like DO IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT, YOURE AN ACTOR so he pretended to get in character and it was so cute and he told me also “i respect that you’re not fake and you stand by your opinions” and i was like ya cuz lightspeed sucks (no i didnt say that) cuz he was like “some people will be like ‘time force is overrated’ and then go up to michael copon (his booth was behind us) and be like ‘oh i’m a huge fan’” and we were like oh we’d never do that and he loved us even though i was so mean to him IM SORRY SEAN I WILL BUY SOMETHING FROM YOU TOMORROW as we were leaving he said to me “tomorrow you can be fake its fine” hes literally like. so cool. and also handsome. but lightspeed is still boring im sorry.

FIFTH we were wandering around again looking at toys and shit and tabby and ben wanted dino bite cafe shirts so we went to marvels by mossers which was right next to brennan and the sudarso brothers and we started talking to the guy there (aiden, not mosser) about, you know, the stuff they were selling and whatnot he’s so cool like they’re all so cool we talked for ages?? bc tabby had to go to the atm to get money and she took forever so we were just standing around saving her spot in line and aiden asked us like how we became friends when we’re all from different states and we told him we met online bc we love power rangers and we met up at morphicon and loved it so much we came to rangerstop and he was like oh thats so cool (this will be important later ok) anyway im just saying WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN JUST TALKING TO PEOPLE LIKE JUST. JUST TALK TO THEM. EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT POWER RANGERS. like this guy wasnt even a pr fan but he was so chill anyway i love everyone in this bar.

then we went out to eat but got distracted by gazbot’s booth of his HELLA COOL PRINTS and we bought abbey a balance print and an alpha print and kat bought all the six megaforce rangers and tbh tomorrow im gonna go back and get ninja steel blue BECAUSE while this was happening peter texted me “saw you and said hi but you seemed busy haha” becAUSE i did not stop to say hi to him (because he had a line!) while we were by marvels for mossers anyway i felt bad but we were hungry so went out to the food trucks and we saw two ranger actors whom we will not name come out to smoke together which was HILARIOUS (we love them anyway its ok) and THEN

SIXTH we came back inside bc i wanted brennan to sign my dino charge red print that i got from ceevee (also a shoutout to his handler who is really cool and talked to us and just. guys. i love everyone. i love EVERYONE.) and hes sooooo pretty god and his handwriting is so cute it looks like a child bc he’s left-handed and i asked him why the other dino charge rangers werent there and he was like “well davi’s filming and michael and camille dont really do cons” lmao and i told him i went to school w/ michael and camille and he was like “oh cool my sister-in-law went to that school” when i told him what university it was anyway hes just so pretty. im blanking on most of our conversation. then ben talked to him bc they’re both left-handed and reminded him that he instagrammed ben’s art and they message on insta and it was very cute #bennan for life bitches he also signed ben’s dino charge hat

SEVENTH so you know yoshi and peter are right next to brennan so i was with taylor (@ crossbuild on twitter, rocking the ryuga banjou cosplay) and she wanted to meet the sudarsos so we went over to say hi and peter came over and hugged me and we talked and he was like “since i dyed my hair blonde ive gotten like three more roles” and i was like “blonde privilege” (he looked. surprisingly good with it.) and he was telling me that he and yoshi are playing monkey demigod brothers?? or something and that’s why they both dyed their hair blonde and we also talked about kamen rider (bc taylor mentioned it) and he said he wants to watch wizard and i was like YES WATCH WIZARD ITS MY FAVE and he was like “everyone says bad things about it!” and i was like FUCK THEM JUST BECAUSE ITS SLOW-PACED and he was like “no you know i love slow pace” and i was like yes its very episodic but its SO GOOD THE CHARACTERS ARE SO GOOD they just had an issue w/ the lead actress being an idol and he was like “oh well so is lupinyellow” and i was like DO YOU ACTUALLY WATCH LUPATO bc he does keep up w/ sentai but hes always behind and he was like “dont spoil me im three eps behind” and i was like “well thats pretty good for you and also nothing happens in lupato” and he was so offended on its behalf and i was like “name one thing thats happened peter” and he was like “uh gold showed up???” and i was like “that happens every season” but then i was like “dont get me wrong i love lupato its my fave show of all time” (because it absolutely fucking is) and he was like “i thought so i was so confused” lmao (bc like. im always tweeting about how much i love lupato.) anyway yeah i asked him which kamen riders he’d watched and he was like “you know this pearl” which i did i just enjoy pretending i dont know anything about him. watch wizard y’all. and meanwhile, while i was talking to peter, ben and the others were meeting yoshi and ben was getting his dino charge dvd signed and he gave yoshi his art of koda WHICH YOSHI LOVED and ben was gonna pay $30 for the autograph but yoshi was like “no take it back” and he was like “you’re not gonna sell th dvd right” and ben was like “no i’m keeping it forever” and he was like “ya then you’re not paying for it” bc he LOVED THE ART AND HE LOVES BEN AND US hes so handsome irl like fuck man. who allowed dino charge rangers to exist in the mortal realm. he also gave me and ben cheetos later (he offered them to everyone, we were the only ones who accepted. i love hot cheetos.)

EIGHTH we went to the alphas to get the alpha print signed for abbey and first of all, david fielding’s (zordon) handler was there (david wasnt there) and we were talknig to him and he was like oh im a HUGE power rangers fan i have boxes in my basement full of old power rangers toys and we were like “oh big mood” he was cool too man everyone is so cool i just love. to talk to them. and kat was getting the alpha print signed by romy and she was SO SWEET and we told her how much abbey loved alpha and went to search her art on twitter to show her and she LOVED ALL OF IT she was so sweet her handler was so sweet too and then we went to peta’s booth AND SHE HAD ALPHA GAY PRIDE SHIRTS AND STICKERS so we’re gonna buy those for abbey tomorrow

after that we were hanging around the nearby toy booth avoiding the megaforce rangers who were RIGHT next to the alphas (all together bc they’re codependent losers and we love them) and AIDEN FROM MARVELS BY MOSSER CAME OVER WITH A DINO CHARGE IRON-ON PATCH AND JUST SHOVED IT IN BENS HAND AND SAID “i want you to have this for free because i loved talking to you guys and you deserve it and i love when people meet like you guys did” bc of our little story of how we became online friends and met up and love each other and LIKE. BEN WAS ABOUT TO CRY. I LOVE US AND EVERYONE AT THIS CON.

NINTH so we went back across the room to the sudarsos bc ben wanted to give peter his preston and marv art so i was like “we have something for you” and shoved ben at him and he LOVED THE ART (of course bc ben’s art is amazing) and was like “i’ve seen this on twitter dont i follow you” and ben was like noo you dont and i was like “no, i just retweet ben all the time so hes on your timeline anyway” AND THEN HE PULLED OUT HIS PHONE AND FOLLOWED BEN IN FRONT OF US and then also later he took a SELFIE w/ the three pieces ben gave him and tweeted about finally getting to meet this amazing artist and @-ed ben and it currently has like 100 likes so ya ben’s famous now go follow him @brodyromero

AND THEN FOR THE MAIN EVENT THE MEGAFORCE PHOTO OP THAT WE BOUGHT AND WANTED TO SURPRISE THEM TONIGHT AND we also went to walmart earlier and got rainbow cupcakes for them and a candle that says 5 to celebrate their 5th anniversary bc we are that extra. side note, there was an ADORABLE little boy in line behind us in a pink mmpr diamonds t-shirt and he was freaking out at everyone and saw a blue ninja steel cosplayer and went OH MY GOD ITS NINJA STEEL BLUE and he was the only valid fan at the entire con and we let him cut in front of us (well we let everyone cut bc we wanted to be the last people in bc we are dramatique)

TENTH THE MEGAFORCE RANGERS so like the whole day we’ve been stressing “what if they dont remember us what if they dont care what if they dont” and then we entered and the literal second they saw us it was like. azim’s WHOLE FACE LIT UP AND HE WENT “OH MY GOD YOU GUYS CAME ITS MY GIRLS” (cuz remember we’re #azimsangels as per his hashtag) and HUGGED US ALL IMMEDIATELY oh hes such a good hugger and they saw our cupcakes and we were like “its for you for your fifth anniversary!” and they were so happy and surprised and ciara was like so jumpy and she like hugged us all SO BIG SHES SO CUUUUUTE they are all so fucking cute cameron remembered us too and came to give us hugs and kat got pity hugs from christina and john mark, the dignified ones (they were very nice, its just everyone else was clearly high and super jumpy and SO HAPPY TO SEE US) and andrew was just there looking gorgeous. sorry i cant say anything about him bc if u look into his eyes u black out and that happens to all of us. idk if he said anything. hes too pretty to exist. and we were like WE CAME TO FLORIDA TO SEE YOU GUYS because we loved meeting you at morphicon so much (which is TRUE we planned this all so last-minute bc we were like. fuck it lets go to fucking rangerstop we wanna see the megacast again.) and god they were so HAPPY. AZIM WAS SO HAPPY. CAMERON HUGGED ME SO TIIIIGHT. azim like crushed us all in a group hug the second he saw us. and then we took the photo and ciara literally just JUMPED into ben and kat and tabby’s laps bc they were sitting on the chairs and i got in the back in the middle of ALL FOUR BOYS like oh my god i cant even look at myself in the picture we got bc i’m surrounded by the literal hottest guys in the world like what the fuck. andrew gray TOUCHED ME. like holy fuck. and christina posed w/ the cupcakes and cameron held the 5 candle and was like “COME ON JOHN LETS BLOW IT OUT” and that was their pose and the rest of us were just cheesin and god its so cuuute im gonna make them all autograph it tomorrow and i also got megaforce red and silver prints from ceevee to get andrew and cameron to sign. and then after the pic christina tried to give us back the cupcakes and we were like NO THEY’RE FOR YOU THEY’RE YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT and cameron literally started jumping up and down like a little kid he was like “WE GET CUPCAKES” and i was standing next to him so i said “we got rainbow ones so everyone was kind of represented except you sorry” and he looked at me and was like “yeah because nobody cares about silver” and i was like nooo its bc its hard to put silver on frosting and he was like yeah thats true AND THEN as we were leaving and they were like thank you for the cupcakes!! he was like “are there drugs in them” and kat was like “no” and tabby was like “yes” and i said “next time, for your 10 year anniversary” and andrew was like “ten years!” all chill like. i love him. king of red rangers. cameron said “love youuuu” to us as we left. i would quite literally die for all of them.

afterwards we were waiting around to get our reprints and azim came out and stopped to talk to us and we were like “where the fuck is your girlfriend we only came to see her” and he told us she’s flying to london :( and then he was like “are you guys coming tomorrow come hang out at our booths” (we were like “we have shit for you to sign we’re not just gonna loiter” and he was like “no just come hang out”) and he said “i wanna tell you guys the most heartwarming story that’s happened at rangerstop, a four year saga” so he like. REALLY wants us to come back tomorrow like what a cliffhanger that was!!

we also saw catherine and li ming bc the 25th anniversary photo op was right after us they’re so pretty!! im gonna visit catherine tomorrow and get my PINK RANGER W/ DRAGON SHIELD PRINT SIGNED BY HER ugh ceevee’s art is literally so amazing bitch. fuck. and then steve was also there and tabby was like “we love you steve!” (she said that for every actor that passed us but nobody heard her EXCEPT STEVE) and he stopped and turned back and was like HEY GUYS, love him. AND THEN SELWYN ALSO SHOWED UP FOR THE PHOTO OP and then on our way out of the photo op hallway he was ahead of us getting water in the hotel lobby so we stopped and said hi and introduced ourselves and i was like “we met you at morphicon” and he was like hmm (he was the only one who didnt rmr us at all clearly BUT HES STILL SO VALID. I LOVE YOU SELWYN.) and he was like “why don’t you guys get a picture with me” and we were like “well we’ll be here tomorrow to see you” and he was like “no we gotta do it right now” so he and tabby took a selfie LITERALLY THE CUTEST. HES SO HANDSOME. I LOVE POWER RANGERS.

also psycho red is hot

#earth's defenders never shut up #hell clique takes rangerstop #long post -#power rangers #rangerstop

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ask-shakespearehigh · 6 years ago

Text

Q&A post with the Mods!!!!

This is going to be a long one oh boy

How strict is the delineation of creative control vis-a-vis characters/plays between the mods? (@pedanticlecturer)

We generally have the plays split up along lines of “what we know”— we have a list at the very beginning of the blog. Sometimes we’ll draw the others’ characters (mostly me drawing some of Star’s…) but even then the final say on characterization is up to the “main” mod for that play — mod aster

what aster said -- mod star

What is your favorite play? What is your favorite character in terms of how they were written in the source material? (@pedanticlecturer)

I think my favorite play overall is Macbeth, just because I like the vibes (and the fact that I too could kill Macbeth), the fact that you don’t say it’s name in theatres, and the fact that it’s a play I did a full read through and analysis of in class. Favorite character? Puck from Midsummer. — mod aster

uhhhh,, hmm. ive always had a soft spot for midsummer since i saw it with aster esp bc of how fun the costumes were. of the comedies it has the largest potential to be the most visually pleasing bc of the concept of fairies,,,and im gay and dramatic so i love that. id die if i got to costume design for midsummer,,,or be in it,,,yeah. fav character. hmm. probably mercutio?? i recently saw a version of romeo and juliet where mercutio was played by a woman and oh my god it was amazing!!! not to mention mercutio’s portrayal in baz luhrmann's INCREDIBLE version of r n j!!! (I based my mercutio design on him) he just spends the entire time making dick jokes. love that. -- mod star

How do you answer asks so fast? I mean it's great but I'm impressed 😂 (Anon)

Personally, it’s a mix of: notifications on, quick drawing speed, and using the blog to avoid my class work — mod aster

aster is fast and (as you can see from all of my answers) im lazey -- mod star

Are there any elements/characters of the plays you're covering that you would have liked to work into this blog's plot, but couldn't due to the constraints of the setting or the synthetic nature of the blog? (@pedanticlecturer)

I wanted to make everyone gay but unfortunately due to plot constraints we have to have some hets but that wont stop me from making it lgbt as possible. -- mod star

I did want to make The Tempest more of a central play, but it just didn’t translate well. Similarly, other supernatural elements like the witches in Macbeth. This isn’t so much a constraint mentioned, but my own time/energy means that I want to show the Macbeth backstory, in a specific format, but I can’t right now— mod aster

Is there a hierarchy of import when it comes to each play's individualized impact on shakespeare high's general arc? If so, what plays are crucial to the foundation of the story? Which ones did you do mostly for shits and giggles? (@pedanticlecturer)

This is phrased like an ACT question and i might not answer it right so sorry in advance but: mod aster and i only selected a few plays for each of us to do given we dont know all of shakespeare’s works, but we tend to put more emphasis on the the more well known. But it also comes down to 1. How much we have plotted out for each play and 2. What the followers ask about most. Our two most popular are hamlet and macbeth bc people are familiar w those but around march caesar always becomes relevant again. I didnt even have designs for some of the characters until someone asked about them. -- mod star

I would say the same as star— it generally comes down to what people ask about. I will say that the overall plot is sort of separated into “has happened” and “is happening”. Like, the human potion of Midsummer, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth are all in the “aftermath” portion, while Twelfth Night, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet, among others, are happening. We’re trying to incorporate as much as we can, and I don’t think any of them were really put in without some thought.— mod aster

What personal significance does shakespeare hold in ur guys' lives? (@pedanticlecturer)

I go to a theater school rn and so ive dealt w shakespeare (although not all of them) it also helps that i was in loves labours lost last year as moth and that i read hamlet and r n j. Theres also a theater in my state that always does One Big Shakespeare per season and they always do them super well!!! My love for shakespeare probably started w seeing midsummer at that theater w mod aster!!! So. Theater kid rights!! -- mod star

To be honest, I got back into Shakespeare Because of the blog. I’ve been friends with some people that got really Pretentious about Shakespeare, and it kinda put me off of it. I did have a book of abridged plays (the plays’ plots written out in prose, basically) that I read as a kid, which is what got me into not only the plots of a lot of the plays, but also the idea of having them illustrated. And, same as star, the theater in state does the One Big Shakespeare— and they tend to do some really cool things with the costumes, setting them in diff time periods. I haven’t been able to see any lately since I’ve moved, but they still slap. — mod aster

🥰😘💙🥰🥰💜💟🥰I 😍💗💚😍😍LOVE🖤🖤 YALL ♥️♥️🧡💛💚💝❣️💕💘💖💗💓💞💝❤️💛💜 okay now i have a question i swear— how long have the two of you been doing art??? and what were your first shakespeare plays??? (@hellaghosts)

Uhh i started drawing when i was like idk 12 and i have the giant boxes of sketchbooks to prove it!!! I moved to digital art at abt 14-15 but mostly stayed traditional until this yr when i got a Neat New Tablet so some of my sketchbooks are sitting abandoned rip. My first shakespeare was either romeo and juliet or midsummer nights dream and i love both of them v much!!! I have a very old piece of art that i did for r n j for my freshman class assignment on it and it hasnt aged well alsdjfjafd circa 2016 i think??? -- mod star

Oh man. I started drawing when I was about 10, but it was Bad. I don’t think I got much into drawing again until I was about 14? Sometime around the end of middle school/beginning of high school. I would say I started getting into drawing as more than doodling/coloring edits sometime around 2015-16? I would draw on my iPad with my finger, then I got a tablet for my computer, and now I pretty much stick to my iPad with an Apple Pencil. My first Shakespeare play was….. uh…… probably Midsummer???? I have No idea. We would go to plays when I was little, so I honestly don’t remember if I saw others before. It may have been Romeo and Juliet— I had that book where it was the original and the “modernized” with the little dog that explained things— which, if you know it makes sense, but if you don’t is probably a bonkers answer. — mod aster

Do you think this blog has like? An overarching thesis (be it b/c intentionally or simply b/c ur own take on the world has bled thru to the point where u believe it’s central to the piece at this point)? (@pedanticlecturer)

Not gonna lie, I had to read that like three times AND dm you to figure out what you were asking from us and all I have is “be gay, respect women, write your own happy endings”. — mod aster

This blog started with an ides of march shitpost and you think we have enough brain energy to write a whole thesis? I projected feelings of found family onto my half of the blog but idk if that counts. Be gay do crime 420 69 -- mod star

What’s the nature/rough dynamic of ur relationship? How do y’all know each other? (@pedanticlecturer)

Met mod aster when i was like 4 and even tho we didnt live close we became like, best friends although the Best part didnt start until we were like 13-ish and eventually we talked like non stop (about anime and homestuck. Yknow. 13 year old kid things) and we didnt see each other a lot bc of Distance and now its even worse bc aster is in colleg.,e but we consider each other siblings regardless of family bc we’re adopted into our own respective families so that bled over into our friendship and it would feel weird calling him anything other than my brother now. We’ve seen each other at our best and worst and if you really want a good insight on what we’re like as siblings watch griffin and justin mcelroy’s overview video of catlateral damage wherein i am griffin and he is the long suffering justin. -- mod star

Star is basically my long distance sibling and functionally the only cousin I recognize bc like their parents are basically an aunt and uncle and like our dads look enough alike that we’ve both accidentally gotten the wrong dad for a hug or similar so like. Anyways yeah Star is the Griffin to my Justin, complete with our absent middle brother who we love dearly— mod aster

Dubiously relevant q but what kind of music do y’all listen to when u do art (if that is indeed a habit either of u partake in) (@pedanticlecturer)

It can depend on the piece? I was working on some (unrelated) oc prints that were song-focused, and for those I just listened to said song on loop. Sometimes I have playlists. Sometimes I’ll just be in a Mood and throw a song on loop. But a lot of time for the blog, I’ll listen to The Adventure Zone for the billionth time, because I have Too Much Attention. I’ve also, on request from Star, linked the most recent “loop song”.— mod aster

I tend to obsess over the same like 3 songs every few weeks so those get listened to on repeat but it also depends on the tone of what im drawing or who im drawing i might genre switch bc of that. If im drawing ophelia i stick to lana del rey and if im drawing hamlet its the neighborhood, horatio is sufjan stevens etc. i have categorized,. Most of the characters i draw into different songs/genres/energies of music but not like i ever follow that. Sometimes i just pull up a really long nonsense video and forget to draw. Essentially: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -- mod star

How’d y’all come up with ur pseudonyms? (@pedanticlecturer)

I love space so much and my main blog is starryeydsailor space gay rights!! Im also tiny and full of energy and bright so basically i;m star -- mod star

Uhhhh i was like “hey i want to do uhhhhhh flower?” And then I google searched flower names until I found one I liked —- mod aster

How did you end up deciding the rough timeline of events in canon? (@pedanticlecturer)

It’s mostly determined by like. How we choose per story? If that makes sense. Like, we just take story by story, and decide “is it happening, has it happened, and when?” And then we fit them together in relation to each other just by dint of. All existing at once. Like, I knew I wanted Macbeth to be in aftermath, because like, even though there’s no murder, the way I’ve translated it to the AU is still kinda heavy, and it’s something that I don’t know that I could do properly if it were happening right now. Also, it’s more interesting IMO to have them at different times. Tl;dr we wing it per story and slot them together— mod aster (mod star agrees I just can word better, in theory)

If you could tell the story of shakespeare high in a different format than an ask blog, would you? Obviously y'all are making very good use of the format, but would you want to write this as a animated series or like? a comic book? or is the form inseparable from the story? (@pedanticlecturer)

I kinda wanted to do a webcomic or maybe to plot develop through like, animatics but the element of surprise comes from the asks we get and really makes us think so the blog is a good start. We didnt think we’d get this far -- mod star

Pretty much what Star said— there are certain elements where it’d be neat to do as a comic or as an animatic. Like, the fantasy dream is like, an anthology webcomic of each story, where you can like, see other characters in the background and stuff. But to be honest, we develop a lot by what we’re asked— there was a post about developing worldbuilding by being asked questions and then pretending you’ve thought about the answer, and it’s not far off. Personally, it’s hard to just lay out a story, because I have a whole WORLD and what’s relevant? What are people interested in? It’s by getting questions that I can then focus in on an area to develop. And yeah, we Super didn’t think we’d get this far lmao — mod aster

Any headcanons about your characters that you don't think will ever come up on the blog through asks or plot posts? (@pedanticlecturer)

I could make a whole separate post for this!!!!! Mostly its voice headcanons (and by mostly i mean like 1 or 2) or relationship hcs!!!! -- mod star

Honestly same. I don’t think I have voice headcanons for mine, though I bet I could find some. I’ve got a bunch of miscellaneous headcanons that just kinda float around, but like they’re scattered, too numerous for this post, and also not always things I’m sure are canon yet.— mod aster

#mod post #mod aster #mod star #q and a #birthday #we cant seem to read more AND tag so like brb gonna go kill god

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angustdtt · 7 years ago

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- promise -

anonymous requested: Hi! If you're not too busy with requests or anything could you do a scenario with YoongixReader with number 4 5 and 35? Could you make it a little bit of angst and end with fluff? Thank you and I hope you're having a great day 😊

prompts: “You forgot me” | “Don’t say a word” | “It’s like all I can ever do is make you unhappy.”

a/n: hope you’re having a great day too nonnie! and sorry for taking so long on posting requests :’)

wordCount: 2k genre: angst | fluff pairing: yoongixreader triggers: car crash | hospital room | fight |

masterlist

“You’re okay...” the words reached you and echo, like they came from afar “Breathe. Just Breathe…” they continued.

Your ears throbbed, there was a constant and annoying chime muffling all another sound alien to that voice. Around you, only darkness was perceived; no sensations, no pain, nothing except for that far voice. It felt as if you were levitating amidst nothingness.

“Open your eyes,” It pleaded sweetly, somewhere beyond the shadows enveloping your body. “Come back.” It demanded “It’s okay. It’s over now. You’re Okay. Please, wake up.” Slowly regaining consciousness little by little you feel your limbs. “Don’t do this to me. I love you so much. Please, come back.” You could feel partial pain all over; arms, legs, and a distinctive pain on the side of your head. The dark veil behind you lids rises and lets small beams of light through, the sight is blurry but you can distinguish shapes hovering above- one of them catching your attention. “Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. I love you. Please, come back.”

“You forgot me,” The words slurred from your lips, followed by a stinging pain and the realization of that lukewarm liquid emanating from your mouth and filling it with the known taste of metal. “You forgot me, Yoongi” He had his arms wrapped around your limp figure, holding you close against him, so close you could even hear how fast his heart was beating inside his chest.

Looking up into his eyes you saw how they glistened, and how the green light of an ambulance shone upon them, lighting his features. Yoongi was a complete crying mess, his whole face was red and swollen, he sobbed lightly, his runny nose and cleaned himself on the shoulder of his jacket while looking down at you, his lips contorted down visibly distressed, nodding repeatedly. “I know...” he cried, anguish filling his words “I know…”

Your eyes closed as you last watched him and how the paramedics tried to take you from his embrace, then the veil closed again and you slipped from consciousness.

Tick, Tock.

The driver hit on the brakes too late, the tires screeched as the car slid and got you.

Tick, Tock.

Your body got a full impact and blacked out.

Tick, Tock.

You open your eyes. It takes a little while to get used to the bright lights but soon enough you recognize where you are- a hospital room. You shift a little realizing you feel numb all over, there is an odd feeling in your arms and realize you have an IV drip attached to it.

“Y/n,” an unknown voice calls your name. “I’m Doctor Jun.” A tall young man enters your field of vision, his eyes are black as well as his hair, he’s holding a light to your eyes and moves it while speaking to you. “You’re in the hospital. I need to ask you a few questions, is that okay?” You raise your eyes to him and try to nod and talk but found you have a collar stopping you from doing so accompanied by a sore throat. “It’s okay, please don’t move your head.” he stops you quickly. “Blink once for ‘yes’ twice for ‘no’, alright?” you answer him by blinking once. He smiles pleased by your reaction “Excellent. Now, first thing... you were in a car crash y/n, you are fine and well,” he explains calmly seeing you try to move again at his comment “You have some scratches here and there and a light head trauma.” he talks softly and slowly “We will have you here tonight just in case to check there are no further complications to your health, yes?” you nod once. “Alright, I’ll take off this thing so you can be more comfortable,” he commented while gently taking the support of your neck. “Rest and I’ll return later.”

Doctor Jun leaves, its hard to turn your head but you can hear his footsteps walking further away. “She looks good,” you hear him talk, someone is with him but the voice is barely a mumble “She’s conscious and responding well to stimuli. You may enter, however, I must ask you not to stress her, yes?” the stranger responds, again you can barely hear mumbles aside from Dr. Jun’s voice.

You hear footsteps coming closer and it's hard to scratch the need to move your head and meet the stranger’s face, but soon enough you see him- and your heart drops. Yoongi was standing next to you looking defeated, a faint but recognizable scent of dirty clothes reached your nostrils,he didn't shower, his dark-ringed eye bags stood out from his pale features, the glassy, bloodshot eyes, a tell-tale of how he spent the night awake waiting for yours to open. ‘what is he doing here?’ you wondered.

And the memories came flushing.

It was your birthday.

Yoongi and you had agreed some months ago on how the two would spend your birthday together. Yoongi had suggested doing everything you loved, from starting the day at the amusement park, to end the night at some karaoke bar grabbing some drinks and singing drunkenly together, and it all sounded perfect.

“This is going to be the greatest birthday ever!” you sing-song.

“You always do this on your birthday y/n.” he scrunched his nose, not understanding why you looked so excited.

“Yeah, but most times you cannot make it, so we hang out after my birthday.”

“That's true…” he agreed.

“This time you have no choice but to come to it Min Yoongi” you warned, lifting one eyebrow. He shrugged pretending he didn't care about your threat and you pinched the flesh of his arm making him jerk his arm.He hated when you pinch him, you always knew that and would use it to annoy him. “Min Yoongi!!!” you demanded.

Yoongi nodded while caressing the reddened skin while he complaining then dedicated a smirk “Min Yoongi never breaks a promise.”

Until the months to your birthday succeeded.

That was when the friendship started to crumble.

The period of life both you and him were going through was tough, studying different careers and having different jobs took his tool on both. You stopped hanging out and dedicated to other things, like projects- projects that didn't include the other; different social circles, new friendships and whatnot ended up slowly breaking the strong bond you had.

You fought a lot more, you blamed each other for the stupidest things, and you most of all ended up crying on most occasions.

One fateful day, the biggest fight happened.

He said hurtful things to you, and you said them to him as well.

You cried, and so did he.

He stormed out your door four days before your birthday, and you didn't hear from him again.

The morning of the said day you woke up and checked your phone but found no messages from Yoongi. You took a shower, dress-up and walked to the bus stop you both agreed on meeting in order to leave for the amusement park.

Yoongi and you had fought before, but he has never let you down not even once no matter how bad.

An hour went by, you were staring at the screen of your phone, notifications of people wishing you a happy birthday flooded the screen, yet still not a single message from him.

Warm tears started to roll down your cheeks, landing on the phone screen while inside your chest your heart slowly crumbled. You feel embarrassed and broken, you just want to go home so you take one step to cross the street.

But you’re still looking at your phone.

And you fail to hear the klaxon of the bus heading right for you.

“Hey,” Yoongi’s growly voice spoke. His hand reached out with the intention of holding yours, but he hesitated on doing so.

‘Hey,’ You mouthed silently.

Yoongi sniffed and rubbed his nose between his thumb and index finger before pulling a chair and bringing it closer to the hospital bed to sit. He licked his lips slowly and locked gazes with you “Y/n I-...” he started but a knot formed in his throat and made him a cough. “I’m-” he stopped again, his brows furrowed, and his before glassy eyes completely changed while they started to water, he pouted while the muscles on his chin trembled trying to stop his tears from falling,but it was no use, because once he started opening his mouth again to continue speaking his walls collapsed. Yoongi broke down and brought his head down to place it on top of your arm, while he held your hand apologetically repeatedly saying “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” he was like a child sobbing uncontrollably and holding tightly to your hand.

You grip his hand with the same strength, this action being the only thing you can do to comfort him somehow.

“This is all my fault” he cried out. “This is all my fault.” his shoulders heaved with emotion while the beads of water damped skin of your arm.

“Yoongi,” you said, the sound of your voice coming out rough and rugged.

“It’s like all I can ever do is make you unhappy.”

“No,” you countered weakly. “Never. ”You wanted to tell him it was not his fault, how you too were foolish and how sorry you were because it was the same on your side; pride stopped you from calling him, from trying to make amends.

Yoongi looked up at you, his features stained by hurt and regret. “If it wasn't for my stupid pride you’d never be here. I should’ve been there with you. I never should’ve broken my promise. I realized how foolish I was too late and I-” he stammers, cleaning tears from his cheeks “caused this...”

“Stop!” you suddenly bawled pinching Yoongi’s hand and making him flinch.

“Ouch!” he complained. For the smallest of seconds, he had his iconic annoyed grampa face looking at you and it felt like nothing ever happened- you missed him like this “That hu-” he began when he realized the context in which he was again. You were getting sick and tired of how he was talking and treating you cause it felt like he was saying goodbye while you agonized

“Hurt?” you asked. Yoongi was looking at you poker-faced.”Answer me, did it hurt?”

“Yes!” he answered wide-eyed, stressing the words so you could hear him.

“Does it hurt now?.”

Yoongi looked down at his hand confused “No?”

“Exactly, It’s water under the bridge. Now stop treating me like I’m about to die, the doctor said I’m fine.” you nagged. “I was on my phone and I was dumb enough to not look while I was crossing the street, so stop trying to take the blame for that. Gee this kid, trying to make it all about himself” you mumbled between your teeth jokingly.

“See what I’m talking about” he shook his head sarcastically. “You are in a hospital bed and I somehow made the conversation about me. I am so selfish.” he chuckled unbelieving looking down at his feet.

“You came,” you said suddenly.

“What?”

“You came,” you repeated. “You didn’t break your promise Yoongi.” He opened his mouth to say something but you interrupted the obvious ‘No I did’ ‘I did everything wrong’ etc, preaching. “You did, and that’s all that matters to me.” Yoongi smiled weakly and nodded. You return his gesture smiling widely and caressing his hand. “You said ‘I love you’ Yoongi�� you playfully nudged his hand. Yoongi coughed and his serious facade is back again, he looks sideways but doesn’t move his hands away. “You love me, Yoongo?” you ask again pulling him closer.

“Shut up,” he answers, a blush forming at his cheeks trying to hold in a smile.

“You said you looove me, you want to maarry me” you sing teasing and sway his hand until he laughs wholeheartedly and sits again next to your bed.

#bts #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts suga #bts yoongi #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #bangtan #bts fluff #bts angst #beyond the scenes #angustd requests #angust d #master

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meggannn · 7 years ago

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ive been cranky lately because of work and real life bullshit (i don’t know why i thought the housemate moving out would be any less dramatic than living with her for 6mo), so here’s some ideas i’m kicking around about what my shepard does after the war

what my shep does IMMEDIATELY after the war i am leaving up to covering in my fic and i won’t get into details bc there are some spoilers and shit i haven’t posted yet

so many years in the future, maybe in a decade or two: i dont know if i see shep 'retiring' so much as just choosing to decommission as an active officer. maybe her leg gets too irritating to handle or her migraines get worse or she just gets fucking tired or she realizes that one of garrus’s biggest fears is of him receiving a death notification and her dogtags in the mail, or a combination of all four.

but the alliance prob still keeps her as an advisor or senior member for possibly a few things, the preference of which i have not entire hashed out. she is para-centric in terms of morality and ideals, which doesn’t change as she gets older, but -gade in terms of drive and occasional ruthlessness within her job, which always has the potential to harm both herself and others. i think her attitude gets a little more manageable once she works out a new schedule and healthier job for herself. i’m thinking something like a liason for interspecies cooperation, or overseeing general of certain territories, or senior intel strategist, etc etc., something that keeps her away from active combat but still engaged in it, with her fingers in a lot of pies. so i think she'd be doing is “”deskwork”” but work that mostly requires cooperation and strategical planning at a very high level that she could do from the citadel or wherever.

then also, because she doesn't know how to take a fucking break, i see lyd admitting this with much embarrassment and discomfort but with TOTAL support from garrus: she kinda comes up and says “uhhh, also btw you should know i've been discussing with the university of thessia/oxford/sur'keh/etc about master's/phd programs" and g looks up from his briefings from the primarch like "what? you want to go back to school?” and shep is like, still mortified abt this as an adult but determined to act like it’s nbd, but now that she has Free Time she wants to check something off her list, which is: attend a formal school and gain a diploma. and not the damn remedial studies courses she took back in the alliance just so she could be taken off probation. and g is like “huh, well you know i support you, what are you gonna study?" and she's like "probably law, criminal justice, political theory, turian history and maybe interspecies language theory -- ” and she rattles off a bunch of things that nobody can ever possibly do all together, and garrus is kinda trying to wrap his head around the fact that it now sounds like his gf wants to become a lawyer or dump him to go become a xenoanthropologist with liara. and then she says “well look war cleanup is going to last the rest of our lives, we both know i can’t stay out of it. and because nobody takes me fucking seriously when i give advice on this stuff based on what i’ve observed with my own two eyes of this inefficient government system, i need a degree, or like, ten" and g is like “so ur going into politics" and she's like “FUCK no i would never" but she gets to work anyway.

working a full time job and doing classes w private tutors and profs g is like “ok i give up, you’re not going into politics or law? shit you’re not going to c-sec are u?” and she's like “no.......... but i will be making all of this as publicly accessible as possible” and this is basically just part of her movement to start making galactic govts more accountable for their actions and help inform the ppl of what's going on, in both legal and literal terms as they rebuild, and shep is adamant that the same problems that let saren run around loose and unevaluated, the hand-waving that allowed colonists to go missing for years, prejudice that led to one species threatening to not participate in a galactic total war just because a commander didn’t give into their command to allow an ongoing genocide to continue, yeah, that shit can’t keep going on. not just bc she feels like the govt failed them in the war, but bc of all the ways it failed the marginalized species and forgotten civilians, the blind spots, the corruption, etc, which she damn well knows abt bc she was a victim to this exact system as a kid. so she wants it, she wants it so bad, and it’ll never get done in her life time, but that’s ok, if she’s known for anything let it be for this too

meanwhile when garrus is too old to serve as commander of citadel defense he probably becomes like a military or political correspondent for citadel news network while also training young hierarchy engineers in ballistics and programming, and he’s known for being That eccentric instructor who you’re pretty sure pulls at least half of his “war stories” out of his ass, and he gives a different story to explain why half his face looked like it was eaten by varren every time he’s asked (”a maw got in a good hit of acid before i filled it full of cannon fire” “i overloaded a geth prime so hard its head is still embedded in the station ceiling, and then it dropped the rocket launcher it was holding which fired right into my face”) and for all that he loves to brag about cool shit he did, he still won’t answer if he and general shepard secretly eloped years ago because he still calls her his “girlfriend” but always winks when he does????

other ideas: with all the rebuilding, assuming for this post this is on the citadel but could be wherever, architects come to shep like “hey we have this empty space that used to be a department store, after it was ruined by the blast, now it's totally gutted and we want to put like a museum of your life there” or sth equally obnoxious and shep is like “........why. why on earth would u do that. make it a library you assholes” so they name the library after her instead. which she’s like good, that’s practical and will actually help people, here’s my seal of approval, and she doesn’t admit she's super touched they really did that bc when she was a kid she used to hide out in libraries and read all day till closing. and the librarians were nice and she'd feel normal, like she was learning even tho she dropped out of school at age 13. so i think that would be non-negotiable for her, like “i cant prevent you from making a dumbass statue but if you're asking my opinion on how to use five thousand square ft, you're going to make educational and free-access, or you're not putting my name on it"

more later maybe

#lydia shepard

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kaisoo-anti-blacklist-blog · 7 years ago

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F.A.Q

Welcome to the Kaisoo Anti Blacklist F.A.Q! In this post I will answer the most popular questions about this blog and how it will function. Please read the information below before sending me any asks. If you have read the following in its entirety and have any additional questions feel free to send me a dm or an ask and I will be happy to answer them! ^.^

Q:What is the main goal/purpose of this blog? The purpose of this blog is to protect both new and old Kaisoo shippers and supporters on tumblr from bullying and harassment as well as weed out all the fake kaisoo supporters. A lot of times those who ship kaisoo endure various forms of harrassment which makes it difficult to enjoy and support kaisoo peacefully. By compiling toxic antis into one database, it makes it easier to decide who to avoid/block.

Q: What is a 'Kaisoo Anti'? A Kaisoo anti is a person who: -Is against the idea of shipping/supporting Kaisoo -Mocks, bullies and harasses those that do -Uses kaisoo for their own popularity but does not actually support/like them and/or the shippers, i.e a “Fake shipper” A lot of times they are seen telling supporters to "stop fetishing gay couples" and assume that most shippers and supporters are "fetishizing two men" "delusional" or straight white b*tches". They target only kaisoo supporters and shippers, regardless of all the other pairings that exist in Kpop. Q: What is a fake shipper? A fake shipper is someone who appears to like/support kaisoo but says rude things to/about shippers and/or about Jongin and/or Kyungsoo themselves. Many times these people gif kaisoo, write fanfics with kaisoo as the main pairing and create kaisoo fanart, but when asked if they ship kaisoo they say "Yeah, but Im not delulu like other shippers". In other situations the person is an anti of either Jongin, Kyungsoo, or both, yet still appears to "ship" kaisoo.

Q: What do you consider to be bullying/harrassment? If you are receiving unwarranted abuse from an Anti because you ship/support Kaisoo, that is bullying and harassment. It includes (but is not limited to): -Using threatening language (i.e. "Go choke", "Die" "kill yourself" "I want to kill all shippers" etc.) -Using ableist language (i.e. "Youre dumb" "You all are idiots" "Retards") -Using racist language (i.e. "white b*tch" "Black kaisoo shippers r in the sunken place") -Insults (i.e "youre so gross" "disgusting" "trash" "b*tch") -Mockery and the use of copypasta with kaisoo related posts -False accusations of fetishization And so on. These are the most common forms of bullying among antis. Bullying comes in many different forms but this is just a general idea of what I consider to fit the definition. Q: I have some receipts Id like to submit, but I want to remain anonymous. Is that possible? Yes! All kaisoo supporters who send receipts, whether the bullying was directed toward they themselves or another kaisoo supporter, will remain anonymous. The only names that will be shown are those doing the bullying/harassing. Keep in mind that, with the intuitiveness of those on the internet, it still may be possible for your identity to be revealed if, for example, someone were to figure out it was a certain user partaking in discourse. If this is to happen, just know that my blog would not be behind this. All identities are guaranteed to remain anonymous, minus those of the antis. ^.^ Q: I have some receipts Id like to submit, but I DONT want to be anonymous. While the bravery is noble, unfortunately I will refuse your request to not be anonymous. This is a space created to protect shippers and supporters and help them to feel like they can enjoy kaisoo happily. If you would rather have your identity revealed I encourage you to take matters into your own hands and message your bully directly. :) Q: The person I want to submit is not a tumblr user, but are well known among kaisoo shippers for being an anti/fake shipper. Can I still submit their name? Weeding out antis mainly on tumblr is what I'd like to focus on, but feel free to submit names of other well known antis and they could still be posted depending on the circumstances. Q: When will my submission be posted? Will I be personally notified? Because I am running this blog alone and need time to look through receipts and confirm information, submissions will be posted every Tuesday and Thursday. Due to the large amounts that may be received, personal notification will not be possible. Please continue to check the blog to see if your submission has been posted! Q: I submitted receipts about someone a while ago, and they were never posted. Why? Before submitting, always be sure to check that your receipts fall within the "Submission Guidelines". It is important that there is clear and true evidence of bullying, harrassment or means of fake shipping. Read the submission guidlines here. Q: I dont have receipts about this particular person but know from past experience that they are an anti. Can I still submit their name? Feel free to still submit their name! I can always do research and if I find clear evidence of them being an anti they will be posted to the blog. Q: I am being bullied/harassed by a fellow kaisoo supporter. What should I do? As long as you are also a kaisoo supporter and your submission falls within the guidelines, send away! Q: How do I know I can trust you enough to keep me anonymous? I am also a Kaisoo supporter that has endured lots of bullying and harassment as well as seeing it from others, so I would never want a fellow supporter to have to go through this. I am all about protecting everyone and weeding out these abusive people who have nothing better to do. But if this is not means enough to trust me, feel free to use the Anonymous asks instead and they will be published this way. Keep in mind that evidence is needed before posting someone as an anti on the blog, and usually that evidence can be sent a lot easier through messaging rather than asks, but because I want all supporters to feel comfortable with me, I will allow asks as well. :) Q: Isnt it a bit hypocritical to call out all these people on a dummy blog? Why not reveal your identity? The reason that I am staying anonymous is because I need to be able to go back and look at the evidence of bullying and harassment myself to confirm it and share it on this blog. Most antis response to this blog will be to block me from seeing what they post, and if I reveal my personal blog (and my third invisible blog) then I will have no way of confirming what is truly going on. This is also why being sure that your receipts fall in line with the guidelines is also crucial. In the event that antis have blocked me from all 3 blogs, I will have only your receipts to go off of. Of course I trust my fellow supporters, but as someone trying to do the right thing I must always make sure Ive got a the facts/proof. Q:This is a website where anyone can post what they want. Why make a page like this when supporters can just block antis? Supporters can indeed block the antis as they come to them. But by compiling a list of all of the most common antis into one place like this, it helps older and newer kaisoo supporters know who to block before the bullying begins. Think of it as staying one step ahead. Q: Arent you worried about this creating more drama and starting a war? This seems so unnecessary...its just shipping! It may create drama with me and the antis themselves but Im sure that most shippers/supporters just want to be able to go in the tag and talk about Kaisoo in peace. I feel that this is long over-due, however I will reconsider keeping the blog if the majority of supporters oppose to it. Q: Some of the people featured here are well known artists/fanfic writers. Their reputation is ruined! Keep in mind that if they are featured on this blog it means that they were harassing or bullying someone solely for shipping/supporting kaisoo, or that they are a fake shipper/supporter. I did not ruin their reputation, they did. Q: I feel that my name should not be on the blog and that there was a misunderstanding. I want it removed! Sometimes intentions are lost or misinterpreted. If you feel that you are on this blog in error, feel free to send me a DM and we can discuss it. If you can supply solid and clear proof that you werent bullying/harassing a supporter or that you arent a fake supporter, your name will be removed immediately. Q: I support/ship a different couple and am being bullied/harassed for it. Am I able to submit receipts? While I have nothing against other ships and understand that other pairings come with antis as well, I mainly want to focus on Kaisoo related antis as I myself support Kaisoo and considering how kaisoo supporters receive the largest amount of hate and bullying. -----> I hope that I have answered most of the questions you all have about this blog! If you have additional questions or concerns, feel free to drop a private message to me anytime. :) -Admin X

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motherlifesucher-archives · 8 years ago

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As Long As You’re Here With Me l Shawn Mendes Imagine

(a/n): This isn’t my best, but I really wanted to post something, so I hope you enjoy it!

prompt: Shawn & (y/n) have managed to have a beautiful relationship in front of the cameras.

i) Instagram.

You had 13 million followers by the time your fans started attacking you with tweets saying Shawn Mendes had liked five of your pictures.

The first one was of you in a bikini during your vacation in Rio, the second was one of you with Ed Sheeran, the third was of you on the set of your show while you were reading the script, the fourth was a close-up of your face, and the fifth was of you on the Emmy’s red carpet.

You smiled at your fans’ excitement and decided to check Shawn’s Instagram profile. You obviously knew who he was, you liked his songs and he was really cute, so it was inevitable for you to not return the five likes he had given you.

Of course the press had a field day with the news of your ‘flirting’, but you just smiled at the tweets and comments of people asking if you two were together. You hadn’t even met properly before, but you just let them talk about your non-existent relationship.

Seven days had passed since your innocent Instagram exchange, and you had just posted a new picture of you driving your brand new Jeep. You waited a few minutes before checking the likes and reading the comments of some of your fans, and they were freaking out again because Shawn had liked your picture.

You bit your lip and smiled, not realizing that you had typed his name. You hesitated for a few seconds before pressing the blue follow button. If they were going to talk, you wanted to give them a real reason.

You left your phone on your bedside table and watched the tv for a while, until the screen lit up. It wasn’t like you had your notifications turned on, that would be stressing since people were liking your photos and following you all the time, but you did get a notification when a verified account followed you.

shawnmendes started following you.

A smile appeared on your face, realizing you were on his mind in some way. You quickly went to the direct messages and typed his name once again.

@the(y/n): 😊💕

You almost didn’t have to wait a minute before his name appeared again

@shawnmendes: hey there.

@shawnmendes: i know you must get this a lot, but you are beautiful.

God, he was cute.

ii) quick meeting.

The media had almost forgotten about your small exchange with Shawn.

Or at least that was until today when you had finally gotten to meet him in person.

You and Shawn had been messaging via Instagram direct since the moment you started following each other. There wasn’t a day where you didn’t message each other; you asked him about his days on the studio and shows, and he asked you about the show, and often asked for spoilers, though you always refused. You hadn’t asked for each other’s numbers, you wanted to save that for when you finally met each other, and that was happening in just a few hours.

It was the People’s Choice Awards after party, and though you hadn’t been able to attend the actual awards a couple of hours earlier due to your tight shooting schedule, but your stylist had managed to get you a tight pink dress with long sleeves. She tried to fix your hair while you were in the car, and she was finished right when you could see some of the flashes through the tinted windows.

You entered the venue and ignored the paparazzi who asked if it was true that you were planning to leave the show, and if it was true that you were going to pursue a musical career, and of course they asked about Shawn. But you just smiled and kept your eyes glued to the ground as the guards led you inside.

The first thing you noticed when you walked inside was people dancing. You were able to make up the figures of the Fifth (or more like Fourth) Harmony girls dancing along some guys you weren’t able to make up in the dark. Then you noticed people drinking and talking, some of them were pretty wasted already, but your eyes soon focused on a tall guy who was already looking at your way.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before casually walking towards Shawn, who had stopped his conversation with a boy just to talk to you. Your unconsciously bit your lip when you noticed you were close enough to touch him.

“Hi,” you said and it came out a bit shaky.

“Hey there.” he said with a smile.

“It’s nice to meet you, in person…” you said and laughed nervously.

“Yeah, it’s very nice to meet you, too… You look great, by the way.”

“So do you. Instagram doesn’t make you justice.” you said sounding very confident, but everything inside of you was turning.

He blushed. “I thought I was supposed to say that.”

“I’m very good at flirting.” you shrugged.

“I’ve noticed, but you must know that I’m pretty good at it, too.” he said and took a sip of his drink.

“I guess I’ll have to find out.” you smiled at him.

“I think a good start would be if you give me your number…” he said and smirked when he noticed you biting your lip.

“I wanted to ask for your number first.”

Shawn shrugged. “I guess I’m better at flirting than you.”

“I only have a couple of hours, then I have to go back to my apartment because I have to be on the set at 6, maybe we can leave and have a nice conversation?” you suggested.

“Sounds perfect to me, just give me a second to let my manager know.”

He left your side and walked towards a man who was laughing along some other people. Shawn whispered something in his ear, the manager gave him a look before saying a couple of things to him. He made his way back to you and smiled.

“There’s an exit next to the kitchen, we can use it to avoid paparazzi.” he suggested and you nodded.

“Let’s go.”

It didn’t feel like you had just seen each other face to face, you felt like you had known him since forever; you felt incredibly comfortable around him, it didn’t even bother you when you felt his hand on your back guiding you through the people who often gave you a smile and tried to stop to talk, but Shawn’s figure on your back made them all go away.

The cold air hit both of you as you faced the deserted street. You could still hear the commotion from inside, but you ignored it as you bit your cheeks to stop yourself from smiling.

“I know a small coffee shop we can go.” You said and Shawn smiled.

“I could use some coffee…” he made a small pause to look at you. “And it looks like you could use a jacket.”

“I’m fine.” you said smiling at him.

“You look cold, and I have a jacket…” he said shaking his head with a grin decorating his face.

“Shawn, I’m good like this.” you said, now laughing.

“God, woman. Let me give you my jacket!” he said starting to take off his leather jacket, leaving him in only his black button-up shirt.

You both stopped walking and Shawn placed his jacket on your shoulders. “The only reason I accepted is because it’s good for your self-esteem.” you told him and he released a big laugh.

“Are all of our dates going to be like this?” he asked and you looked at him with your eyebrow raised.

“Oh, so this is a date?”

“I like you, of course this is a date.” he said and you had to use every bit of self-control you had to stop yourself from jumping into his arms.

iii) fourth date.

You and Shawn had been in three official dates.

Neither of you had made a move, and you were starting to get a bit desperate since the only thing you could think of was the way his lips adorned his face so perfectly.

You still couldn’t believe he was real.

Now you were in New York City. You were about to start rehearsing your lines when you received a message from Shawn saying he had a studio break, and that he wanted to see you.

He asked for your hotel and your room, since he wanted to pick you up. You smiled at his cuteness and waited for him to show up. You checked yourself in the mirror, and decided that a jean jacket was the best choice since it wasn’t too cold but it wasn’t exactly warm. You didn’t get the chance to apply your nude lipstick when you heard someone knocking on the door.

You waked to the door and opened it, revealing the boy who had been the reason of your smile for the last days. You both chuckled when you noticed the two of you were wearing jean jackets.

“I am going to do something now, and I hope you don’t get mad at me because of it.” he said and you furrowed your eyebrows, not understanding where he was going.

“What are you…” you started talking but were soon interrupted by Shawn’s hands on your face.

Your eyes widened when you felt his warm lips against yours, but soon relaxed and melted into him as you placed your hands on his firm chest. The kiss was calm and sweet, and you didn’t want it to end. Too soon for your liking, Shawn detached your lips and fixed his eyes on yours.

“I’ve wanted to do that since I first saw you.” he confessed with rosy cheeks.

“Then why did you take so long?” you whispered.

He chuckled. “I don’t know.”

This time you reached for his lips. The kiss was innocent yet passionate, and you didn’t want to let go of him. You were afraid you were going to open your eyes and he wasn’t going to be there anymore.

“Can’t we just stay here and be together?” you asked him when you separated your lips.

You felt his chest vibrate against your hands. “Maybe we can go to Starbucks, grab something to eat and come back here to watch a movie?” he suggested.

You pecked his lips. “That sounds perfect.”

You both smiled before interlocking your hands and walking to the elevator.

iv) interviews.

Shawn knew he was going to get asked about you sooner or later.

You two weren’t official yet, but there were pictured of you holding hands and even some of you leaving kisses on his cheek. The two of you had come to the conclusion that people were smart enough to figure it out on their own.

Ellen DeGeneres was known for asking some tricky questions, especially to guests she had some grade of familiarity with, like Shawn.

She had stopped by to greet him before the producers led him to the studio minutes before it was time to go on air. He listened to his Andrew’s instructions carefully before he heard Ellen say his name and the audience cheering. He waved at the people before hugging Ellen and taking a seat.

The first questions were about his current projects, his latest single, his album, etc. But as the interview went on, he knew what was coming next. Ellen stayed in silence for a few seconds, but he soon heard the audience cheering and aw-ing at the picture being shown on the big screen. He could feel his cheeks getting red as he saw a picture of you and him walking hand-in-hand around New York City.

Ellen was looking at him with a cheeky smile. “What?” he asked her laughing.

“I thought I was the only woman in your life.” Ellen said and everyone laughed loudly, including Shawn who hid his face between his hands.

“What do you want me to say?” Shawn told Ellen, knowing there was no way getting out of this interview without actually saying something about you.

“Anything except ‘we are just friends��.”

“Then we are very good friends…” he was going to continue talking but Ellen interrupted him.

“Friends don’t hold hands.”

“You don’t hold hands with your friends? That’s sad.” he said and the audience laughed.

“You are avoiding the situation…” Ellen said but Shawn just smiled.

“She’s amazing, it’s incredible having her in my life.” he said and Ellen looked happy with his answer.

“Having her as a friend?.”

“Exactly.” he chuckled.

“Looks like I’ll have to bring her on the show, I think she’s going to give me a better answer.”

“She probably will.” he said laughing.

“Okay everybody, give it up for Shawn Mendes!” Ellen said getting up from her seat. Shawn thanked the audience and they soon were announced they weren’t on air anymore.

“Thanks for having me.” he thanked Ellen and gave her a quick hug.

“My pleasure. and I’m happy for you, she’s an amazing girl.” Ellen said and he couldn’t help the blush that quickly spread on his cheeks.

“Thank you.”

v) rumors.

Being famous meant you were followed to pretty much everywhere you went.

In your case, it was easier for paparazzi to follow you since most of the time you were moving around due to the different locations, and now you were shooting the season finale in Australia, and your character was supposed to meet a cute surfer, develop a crush, only to discover he wasn’t really interested in her after he left her at a party all by herself.

You were at a club the production had rented for the night, it was full of extras and the actor who was playing the surfer. You were playing your lines in your head when you heard the director say ‘action!’.

You took a glass of ‘vodka’ that in reality was water before approaching the actors and carefully placing your lips on his upper lip, trying to make it look as real as possible. Then the scene continued, and after an hour you were ready to go back to your hotel room..

It was almost noon and you were already filming again, but now it was time for a break, so you headed to the lounge were the rest of the cast was talking and laughing. you joined them until you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket. You excused yourself before getting up and going to a more secluded corner. A smile formed on your face when you saw your boyfriend’s name on the screen.

“Hey baby! Are you okay? Isn’t it like seven in LA?”

“Can you tell me what the hell is going on?” you heard Shawn’s agitated voice on the other side of the line, and your eyes widened.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me, (y/n). You don’t have to go to fucking Australia to cheat on me, you know. You could’ve done it here and I would’ve known anyway!”

“What the hell are you talking about?!” you said and tried to keep your voice down.

“Don’t you dare, (y/n). I swear to God I don’t know how I am even talking to you right now!”

“Okay, okay. I have no idea of what you’re talking about, and you don’t have the right to call me and say the first thing that comes into your mind.”

“I can’t fucking believe you, (y/n)…” he said and you heard him sigh.

“Maybe if you actually told me what the hell is going on, I could explain it to you!”

“There are pictures of you making out with a boy in a club, don’t tell me they’re fake because…” he started but you were called because your break was over.

“I am going to hang up now, because I don’t want to keep talking to you anymore. The next time you feel the need to yell at me on the phone, please check your damn facts. Goodbye, Shawn.”

You wanted to throw your phone against the wall, but instead you took a deep breath and blinked away the tears that were trying to make their way down your face.

He was going to be the death of you.

vi) red carpet official.

You and Shawn had been together for two years now.

You had come a long way, but your love remained strong and you couldn’t imagine not having him by your side, and today you were walking your first red carpet together.

For the first time you were nominated for Best Supporting Actress in the Emmy’s, which was a huge deal for you. You were youngest nominee, but just the fact of being nominated was enough for you.

You fixed your long golden dress that hugged your figure perfectly as you posed for the photographers who shouted your and Shawn’s name. You could feel Shawn’s hand squeezing your waist and whispering sweet nothings as you both tried to smile at everyone. You gave some interviews, who mostly asked about your dress, how it felt to be nominated, and of course, your boyfriend. You didn’t notice when you were done with the whole red carpet thing and were being led to the inside of the theatre. You took your seat next to your cast and waited for the time to pass.

“Are you nervous?” Shawn asked you while his hand rested on your knee.

“A little bit… This is a huge deal for me, you know? I just don’t think I deserve it, not even the nomination.”

“Hey,” he said placing his hand on your chin. “Don’t say that. You are here because you deserve everything that’s happening to you. You are a gifted actress, and people can see that. Plus, you are kind, and people like you,” he said and you smiled. “And I love you so much you can’t even imagine.”

You smiled and pecked his lips softly. “I can’t believe you are all mine.” you carefully rested your head on his shoulder.

“See? You are lucky enough to have me all for yourself.” he joked and you chuckled.

“I love you.”

All of your cast was expectant as the presenters said it was time for the Best Supporting Actress award. A deep voice that repeated the name of the award filled the theatre as a video with clips of all the actresses nominated appeared, you felt Shawn’s hand on your thigh when you appeared on the screen with a short clip of you on the show.

“And the Emmy goes to…” you were sure you were going to throw up as you waited for them to open the envelope. “(y/n) (y/l/n)!”

You noticed everyone around you stand up, but you hid your face between your hands for a few seconds before getting up and hugging your cast, and Shawn. You quickly walked to the stage, not really processing what was going on until you found yourself on the stage, facing thousands of people with the award on your hands.

“Oh my God,” was the first thing that came into your mind and everyone laughed. “I didn’t have anything prepared because I was sure I wasn’t going to win,” you said nervously. “I just want to thank everyone who has been with me in this journey, I can’t thank you all enough. From my beautiful family who has supported me in every step of the way. The producers of this amazing TV show that has given me the chance to do what I love, and meet amazing people. My amazing cast that are like my second family,” you said and smiled at them who were looking at you proudly. “the incredible fans who have supported the show since the first day, and let me know their love every single day” you said and the crowd cheered loudly. “and, God, I want to thank my incredible boyfriend for being the person I didn’t know I needed, for being with me after a long day, or helping me go over the lines before going to the set at five in the morning. I love you baby so much. Thank you so much, I love you all!” you lifted the award on the air before you were escorted backstage.

You could feel people hugging you and congratulating you, but you still couldn’t believe this was happening to you until you felt a pair of familiar arms circling around your waist. You inhaled his scent and closed your eyes as you hugged him tightly.

“Congratulations, my love,” Shawn said on your ear. “You are the best, I am so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” you said and were sure that you could feel your eyes well up.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Shawn said and you couldn’t stop yourself from crashing your lips against his.

“I love you.” you said against his lips.

He was everything you needed.

#shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes au

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crown-eater · 8 years ago

Text

A maze of pain and insane fantasies

Over the course of the past week, ‘Choly had been making a genuine effort to start moving into Cecil’s apartment beyond simply leaving a few belongings here and there as he came and went. Things hadn’t quietened down on the Bell front, but his landlady had served him yet another "final notice” that felt more ominously terminal than the others that had come before it. So between acclimating to his metagenesis and running errands for Bell, Chalcedony, and the Tellurides, he had found himself doing his best to at least scavenge the important things.

Like the leg lamp.

The leg lamp caused a huge fuss, and it ended up in the garbage at least twice. Cecil hated the thing, but it was one of ‘Choly’s most cherished possessions, one of the few things he felt his mother’s hoarding habits had yielded to benefit. He had no idea why it existed, or what cultural significance it might have had, but it was his and he loved it. Ultimately the lovers had to agree to disagree, and the leg lamp moved around the apartment as Cecil repeatedly disowned it. ‘Choly always returned it to the side-table beside the daybed he’d taken for his own.

'Choly had a sizable collection of physical copy novels, including his most prized possessions Roadside Picnic and Crash, the former of which being a nearly verbot relic and thrill token, a tangible piece of Quarter history. But, the stack of roughly a dozen novels paled as child’s play compared to the walls of Cecil’s apartment so densely lined with bookshelves that he also used them as sectional dividers. Cecil had been spelunking to rescue books since childhood, and he cultivated two very different collections from the life’s work: one at the physical copies wing of the library, a good third of it his own additions, and a second at home. His private collection was comprised of books which catered to his own personal interests, including many books too damaged to donate or too controversial to air in public.

Unprecedented for ‘Choly was the experience of a good Wi-Fi signal in a private setting. Cecil had left ‘Choly to the task of unpacking a couple of boxes while Cecil went to work for the day, and once ‘Choly felt like he had gotten sufficient progress, he treated himself to Web surfing unabated.

The notification sound of his chat app startled him, and at first he was disgruntled because an unfamiliar username was messaging him.

9augen: hey you havent been posting very much lately

9augen: everything all right?

9augen: this is rev by the way

«There you are, you stupid ghoul,» he thought to himself. «So you went silent for over a month and came back with a new username. Clever.»

ketherphorbia: *i* haven’t been posting much lately?

ketherphorbia: welcome back to the land of the living

9augen: not quite

9augen: i was just wondering. isnt like you. didnt even make a journal post

9augen: usually you vent if somethings wrong?

ketherphorbia: you’re honestly the only person who’s noticed the radio silence, ironically

9augen: why wouldnt i notice? youre my favorite for reasons you know

ketherphorbia: ...i guess if i can dish to somebody, it’d be you

ketherphorbia: i, well

ketherphorbia: i did it. i tried it.

9augen is typing...

9augen: whatd you get your hands on???

ketherphorbia: the junk that’s making all the stalkers sick. fluxeldrin. turns out my assumptions were wrong. it’s not what made the supermarket geek

9augen: ...

9augen: the slag does it do to a dreg then

ketherphorbia: a lot of what it did really slagging sucks. i’ve mentioned my joint disorder before. all those symptoms are magnified to a fault. i...

ketherphorbia: i kinda literally fall apart now

ketherphorbia: on the plus side, it did make me a meta. a really shitty meta, but ME. a META.

9augen: magic fall apart powers sound incredibly useful to me

9augen: haha pics or it didnt happen

ketherphorbia: yeah i thought you were as hard over this as me, you dreg

ketherphorbia is sending a file DSC39082_100-3493.JPG.

ketherphorbia: it stretches pretty far actually

9augen: fuck--

9augen: shit--

ketherphorbia: did i break you? you should see tricks my dick can do now

9augen: i--

ketherphorbia: i really need to take pics of that, but i’ve been kind of nervous to post ‘em anywhere

9augen: slagging cocktease the fuck man. im at a finnegans

ketherphorbia: sorry

9augen: no you arent. one of the reasons i love you

ketherphorbia: yeah no you’re right. you know me too well

9augen: ive told you before i think youre cute right

ketherphorbia: slag, the skin thing makes it hard to disagree with you

9augen: i never sent you a pic of me did i

ketherphorbia is typing...

ketherphorbia: i’m taken, y’know, but no. you haven’t.

9augen: i know. youre a chouay nasty little creature now like youve always wanted. maybe not the next clayface. but you still have got this teratophilic dregs heart pounding hard tonight

ketherphorbia: ...i try

9augen: theres a reason i havent sent you a pic before, but the reason i was quiet for the past month makes things a little more comfortable. i used to be pretty selfconscious about photographs

ketherphorbia is typing...

ketherphorbia: i have no idea what you could even possibly be going on about. you trying to tell me something happened last month? are you going to tell me what happened or not

9augen: The vampire stuff isn’t an act anymore.

ketherphorbia is typing...

ketherphorbia has stopped typing.

ketherphorbia: WHAT

9augen is sending a file DSC92734_101-2245.JPG.

ketherphorbia cancelled the file transfer.

9augen: the slag did you do that for

ketherphorbia: vampires don’t show up in pictures

9augen is sending a file DSC92734_101-2245.JPG.

9augen: very funny bugdick

ketherphorbia: ...a hybrid...?

9augen: im more lamprey than anything else. but theres a lot of nuance to the cocktail. fine tuning

ketherphorbia: ...gives a whole new meaning to ‘body modification.’ how the slag did you even get that done last month? isn’t that stuff banned?

9augen is typing...

9augen: slag i hear somebody griping at the waitress about the smell of me. like some dead thing crawled out of the bay. shes probably going to kick me out. i should get going anyway

ketherphorbia: rude. you a wifi hopper too then?

9augen is typing...

9augen: parting thought for you though. i want my mouth all over every inch of that metahuman skin of yours. just imagine all the perfect lancet marks making lace out of you.

ketherphorbia: you show up in pictures. i really doubt i could keep you away just by not inviting you in.

9augen: im pretty sure they just called the cops. not the evening i was anticipating

9augen: i gotta get a bite to eat. later dreg

9augen: and would you really do something to keep me away? ;)

ketherphorbia is typing...

9augen is offline.

ketherphorbia: did you just--

‘Choly nearly flung the reader once his friend logged off without further answers. Had Rev just implied what it had sounded like? After a minute of trying to calm down, he opened the vampire’s selfie again and stared. He’d snapped that picture in the Finnegan’s. Time-stamp aside, ‘Choly could recognize the newsprint-plastered walls in the background--that was a frequent Wi-Fi lurk for him. The fact the two shared a stomping ground but had never initiated meeting in person haunted ‘Choly a bit. But now, his friend was a lot less inconspicuous.

He decided to make lunch instead of try to linger on the chaos that just thrust itself upon him. Hours later, he was checking his mail on his reader, and had gotten correspondence from a 9augen email. The following thread of emails were exchanged over the course of just over two months.

▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————

I suppose I do owe you an explanation, Kether. We’ve known each other long enough, and we trust enough enough. Yes, I did get the work done last month. Yes, that kind of work is verbot. Yes, I’m supposed to keep hush-hush about it until the coast is clear. But, I know I can trust you with the knowledge that the movement is still very much alive and kicking.

You like stories. How about some non-fiction for a change?

I didn’t know what to expect when I went to see him. Aside from what little understanding of splicing I had through news coverage, all I knew of it had been vampires in my coven who’d had the fortune--and I use that word in both senses--to have had work done while it was still legal, to become more like themselves and live as the creatures of the night they were in their souls.

There’s still a lot of under the table activity. Alleyways, clinics. People get work done however they can sneak it. One girl came into this one club a few months ago, even, said she’d traded a few sexual favors for the funds to get a splice that’d emulate albinism for her and would cut her teeth. She was having great difficulty keeping herself from feeding directly from the flesh afterward. They hadn’t used sterile equipment, and the last thing she wanted was to contaminate the coven or its donors. She became a pariah for her limitations after the coven learned of the blood disease. Requiring blood be drawn, rather than be capable of drawing it oneself, is weakness, and in one of us weakness is revolting. And she wasn’t strong enough to accumulate the funds to go about seeking a cure, to dig herself back out of her self-imposed grave.

I was so wary of botched jobs, of diseased implements, of cut dosages... Everything after the ban went into effect sounded too good to be true, that anyone might ever have the chance to get work done again by someone with both the credentials and accommodations to do it and do it well. A friend of a friend was in with one of the underground grafters, got us private referrals for a new project, at a cut rate due to it being a test procedure. None of us was given the same time. The location was a residential address, an apartment in the lower-mid of Union City. Nice, but still obviously it was an aging complex. A feathered girl greeted me and, after confirming I was alone, ushered me inside. Despite being a residential space, the whole place was set up like a laboratory. It was prodigious.

I went in with a lot of specific plans in mind. I told the grafter the things I wanted. Heavy on the bat serum. Wolf eyes. I had the money and the opportunity, and I was going to get exactly what I wanted out of it.

Turns out, I only thought I knew what I really wanted out of it.

Let me tell you. This Linnaeus is the most intimidating, persuasive, and completely dominating individual you will ever have the pleasure of meeting. He’s also probably the most brilliant. I couldn’t even begin to guess what species he’s got in him. In the month since, I’ve been told he specializes in splicing with extinct species. I would call bollocks on such a claim, but it sounds crazy enough to be one-hundred percent true.

After hearing the particulars of my desires, he thought a moment, paced. He pulled up a chair next to me and coolly asked me what vampire species I could name off the top of my head--besides the vampire bat. On the spot and overshadowed by his overwhelming aura, I could only stammer out something stupid, like mosquitoe or flea. I can’t remember exactly what answer I gave him, but I clearly remember his trite, patient laugh that came of it. At that point, he pulled out a graphics reader and tried to pitch to me an entirely different angle. I can only guess that an artist can draw so many of a thing before becoming tired of repetition, regardless of it being a commission. And I am starting to believe that the species I desired for the work simply didn’t push the envelope enough to fit the bill of his particular... project.

This was so much more than just getting the features of bat and wolf. This was about becoming myself. He’d deliberated the best way to give me what I’d be happiest with, and I had the impression he had the entire animal kingdom to sample from--within reason, of course, as he’s working within the shadows of the law. He told me briefly, without going into significant detail, that he was working on harnessing the strengths and idiosyncrasies of all life, going beyond the animal kingdom. It certainly sounds promising, whatever he means.

Ultimately, we came to the agreement that my splicing job would use the pacific lamprey as its base, but that I would get the vampire bat ears I’d sought coming to see him. The underlying work is complex, but everything is so finely tuned to enhance everything else. Cave salamander, and a strange anemone-like creature called a tunicate. Did you know the cave salamander has cultural roots with the Roma? The gills along my neck are mostly superficial, and the lungs don’t do much either--all that’s in my skin now. The nasal structure has a bit of a sonar thing to it, from both the salamander and lamprey; every smell is intense now. Slag, my mouth is filled with teeth now, cheeks ringed with lancets. Linnaeus tells me the tunicate helps with bloodborne pathogens. I later found it also helps with whatever I get exposed to in the bay.

Doesn’t help with the smell, though.

I’m glad that I could reach out to you, and keep correspondence with you. It’s taken a lot to get used to being aquatic, but I regret absolutely nothing that I’ve left behind. Living near the docks has been a slagged blessing. Perfect hunting grounds, and nobody bothers me so long as I stay off shore. I think you’d love hearing about the weird shit I find at the bottom of the bay. Believe it or not, it’s good money. Pawn shops hardly ever have the nerve to question where I got waterlogged goods. Not that it’s smart to question me. With this lean, cartilaginous skeleton, the splicing also yielded me significant height gain, mostly in my torso. The lengthening of my body was necessary to accommodate swimming muscles, but I slouch horribly so it’s hardly obvious just how tall I stand until I straighten up.

I so enjoy the shock value of doing that. Norms haven’t seen the likes of this nascent wave of chimeric hybrids, so I must be some kind of unholy cryptid to them. As though I’d continue unfolding in other ways were they to truly rile me. Admittedly, I do. ...But it’s rare to get a glimpse of the inside of my mouth.

I would love to meet you in person finally sometime. Get acquainted with one another’s new-found inhumanities. Get to play with that skin of yours. Show each other in person what the other’s body’s limits are. Maybe include your boyfriend in fooling around, if he’d be interested. I promise I won’t eat you, either of you, except perhaps in the most platonic sense. I cherish you too much.

Though really, I must admit, the hardest thing about adjusting to this wonderful luck of mine was finding a waterproof reader. Not that I get good Wi-Fi reception in the better half of the bay, nor that I’m able to recharge it without venturing onto land. I just don’t want to slag it up if I get it wet, you know?

This got meandering. I’m going to cut it off here, and leave everything open to discussion. It’s good to be back in touch with you. I wonder if, now that you’re what you write about, that you’ll write about yourself instead of just for yourself.

--Don’t be shy.

▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————

>I suppose I do... >You like storie... >I didn’t know w... >There’s still a... >I was so wary o... >I went in with ... >Turns out, I on... >Let me tell you... >After hearing t... >This was so muc... >Ultimately, we ... >Doesn’t help wi... >It’s taken a lo... >I so enjoy the ... >I would love to... >Though really, ... >This got meande... >--Don’t be shy.

I hope you understand how overwhelmed I am with all this.

I still don’t get how I didn’t pick up after all this time that you were in the vampire scene. That... kind of actually manages to make you even creepier than before. In a good way. I promise in a good way.

Understandable, then, I hope, just how jealous I am of you and what you have. This skin and bone deformity is nothing compared to having become an outright monster, complete with the appetites of one.

Slag it all, man.

You’ve got to tell me everything.

What was it like? To have the serum take effect? You must have been conscious.

Describe it to me.

Your semen must be very salty.

▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————

>>I suppose... >>You like s... >>I didn’t k... >>There’s st... >>I was so w... >>I went in ... >>Turns out,... >>Let me tel... >>After hear... >>This was s... >>Ultimately... >>Doesn’t he... >>It’s taken... >>I so enjoy... >>I would lo... >>Though rea... >>This got m... >>--Don’t be...

>I hope you unde... >I still don’t g... >Understandable... >Slag it all, ma... >You’ve got to t... >What was it lik... >Describe it to ... >Your semen must...

Spouting off Ballard quotes at me. You must be a wreck...

Creepier than before? I suppose. You’ve always known my predilection for the classics. Fang and claw have always been a preference over tooth an nail.

What was it like? It was an utter entheogeny, my friend. Do you know what a grafting gun is like? To aid in the serum’s administration, it isn’t a single needle but six very fine-gauged needles, in a pneumatic hypodermic gun. In that medical implement, the approximation to vaccination is one which makes me smile to this day, chemicals which carried with them the proverbial antibodies which would make me capable of fighting off the plague of a chronic illness otherwise known to the public as “humanity.”

Linnaeus and his technician had before the procedure harnessed me like a modern Saint Andrew, the cross-like restraints having evolved thoroughly alongside the medicine which required them; their robotic cuffs could expand or contract, as could the distance of each of the hydraulic arcs of its aureole, which envelopd the entirety of the body of the device and acted as its structural integrity in the absence of a characteristic saltire structure.

He’d said that it had been difficult to replace this harness in particular after the ban, also said it had been necessary to be procured again. Implications lingered that the ban had bankrupted his agency, though there was something more to the specialty of this device. There had been incidents in the movement’s embryonic state, before he had implemented such measures as protective bondage.

He did not, however, go into further detail.

In deliberate irony or not, he went for the throat for the injection site. The serum itself felt much like a typical intravenous application, well-chilled and somewhat astringent. Heavy in the veins. Its seeming effervescence was not from gases, but of its heterogeneous components under high pressure. The syringe hisses pneumatically when it fires its contents into you One would suppose that someone with an aversion to needles would panic at hearing that sound in the sense of an injection; though, panic might be too considerate a word. Especially inches from one’s ear.

If he had not been referencing a phobia of needles in his practical necessity for the ring-like restraint system, however, it was the resultant agony of a teenage growth spurt, magnified across the span of the boughs of species, and sped up within a frame observable to the naked eye. It was as though I’d never truly experienced the metamorphosis to the adulthood I’d been meant to undertake. As a normal human being acclimates to his changing body, he might have his shins ache, or be inexplicably hungry, or suffer from bouts of hormone swings. All these things are exponentially worse when your cells are shifting between species, and trying to settle comfortably somewhere in between.

I never realized just what kind of masochist I was until that night.

Bone became cartilage. Skin became mucous membrane. Entire organs restructured themselves. There were entire minutes I could not breathe. My jaws dissolved, for the most part; simultaneously, the total surface of my expanding mouth sprouted dozens of rings of razor-sharp thorns. Nearly three times the vertebrae now comprise my spine. I was suffocating, and I was starving.

The metamorphosis extorts a great energy from a hybrid.

The feathered woman was the one to release me from the cross, whispering forth pedantic blandishments as I sank to rest on all fours. As I glared up at her, the extension of my external gills must have seemed more a threat display than a cry for oxygen. My head swam, but all of me needed to. I was too dizzy to take in anything either of them said, though I clearly recall the doctor finding some distinct pleasure and pride in how completely the serum had taken. “You’ll learn to breathe again,” I remember him admiring as the two of them permitted me at last to shove myself out the door and down the street.

I was fortunate that their secret clinic was so low in the city’s bowels, so close to the river. I didn’t care then how rank the water was, how I knew in my heart even just a fraction of the stuff might kill me. Water. I needed water. I don’t remember how I ended up at the dock, or how I ended up in the bay. I imagine I mostly flopped by inertia. The salt only stung for a moment, as it caught me off-guard; but then, as my faculties began to seep back into me, I could tell that the saline levels were facilitating my ability to breathe and take in the water.

So I was a saltwater fish now? I remember asking myself. It’s a good thing I’m a Jersey devil, then, I guess. I remember the insistent hunger, too, and that even then, my veins burned violently, especially those in my skull.

You know me well enough to know what state in which that experience left me. You also know me well enough to take pride in knowing this is an erotic work crafted for ketherphorbia, written for your own eyes only.

I suppose it’s not entirely out of line for me to return the favor, and ask you to describe your metagenesis.

A celebration. A coronation of wounds inflicted against the iniquity of manhood.

We’re both creatures now. More alike than either of us thought previous. Am I right?

I want to see more of you.

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To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Re: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————

>>I hope you... >>I still do... >>Understan... >>Slag it al... >>You’ve got... >>What was i... >>Describe i... >>Your semen...

>Spouting off Ba... >Creepier than b... >What was it lik... >Linnaeus and hi... >He’d said that ... >He did not, how... >In deliberate i... >If he had not b... >I never realize... >Bone became car... >The metamorphos... >The feathered w... >I was fortunate... >So I was a salt... >You know me wel... >I suppose it’s ... >A celebration. ... >We’re both crea... >I want to see m...

There are no words to convey just how arousing that sounds. I guess the best compliment I can give is to divulge the mighty fine time I’ve had rereading that last email. I can only imagine how the fuck the man knew how bad your autoerotic asphyxia was. Maybe he noticed the rope-like bruising on your neck... I’ll get off your case, but I won’t stop getting off on your case. :)

You want to know how it went? The story’s one testament after another of my own clumsiness and stupidity. It started with a date with Cecil at the coffee shop on Garden Center. The woman spearheading Tri-City’s EPA presence had decided that same shop would be where she would unwind after the day she’d been having, and a point of conversation with Cecil resulted in her burning ears shouldering in to both drop information and grab some of her own from us. One thing led to another, and I ended up with enough information to suggest not just where the Supermarket Geek had taken his spill, but what it had been he spilled in.

I vacillate whether I have hindsight not to have researched my facts further before acting upon them. But it was enough for me, that the conversation had yielded an unprecedented factoid, to the point that said information spurred a particular writing session.

I don’t know if you read the “Quarter Oysters” wip I threw up on my blog a while back. I’ve written more recent things, but there are a number of reasons I can’t share them. Really, though. I don’t know. Maybe I can share them with you. You’ve already made me an accomplice to slag all of verbot shit. Turnabout’s fair play...

Any rate... After writing “Quarter Oysters,” I snuck out of the house and broke into the dump site I’d had described to me. The place was littered with toxic waste drums. In several spots, they were stacked up over a story high. I’d never seen such a thing be so organized as this. Many of them were leaking to spite their order. Some of them even glowed. There were two guards stationed, and I managed to duck them once; they’d almost found me the first time because I’d slipped and thrown out my knee, but I chewed on the shoulder of my shirt and reset it while in hiding. I found a drum of Fluxeldrin cordoned off by tape, and I had my tippling cane with me, so I had a vial to sample of it. I’d have taken more than one, since the cane contained four, but I already heard them coming for me, and I couldn’t hide fast enough. So, I only took the one and hastily reassembled my cane, rather than risk getting caught actively stealing it. They threw me out of the Yard, but they thought I’d just been a snooping idiot cripple. For once my youthful look and decrepit demeanor benefited me. They had no idea I’d smuggled my prize.

I shambled down the street and found myself a safe place where I could mull things over in private. The place was run down, even for a half-completed apartment complex. I’m not even joking, it was creepy as hell. Someone had been living there, I’m sure of it, and from what I saw in the rotting pressboard cabinets, I’m sure they were cooking drugs or bombs or something. There was even a nasty spring-box mattress there. And a bathtub, but not attached to anything. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the kind that installs into where the floor and wall meet when it’s just a free-floating hunk of fiberglass, but they are unsettling as hell when they’re not installed.

My reader was going dead because I’d used it as a flashlight while retrieving my prize, so I couldn’t really research after the fact. I knew Cecil would freak if he found me in possession of the stuff, so I had to act on it then and there. I didn’t have enough to rub it into my skin and get even coverage, so I decided like an idiot I had to drink it for maximum effect. Fluxeldrin glows an aggressive lime green, is oily like antifreeze, and smells like rotten cut flowers but worse. The consistency of it made it cling to every surface of my innards that it came into contact with, and the smell and taste of it had me fighting all compulsion to regurgitate every last drop of it along with all my organs. I flung the vial after downing its contents, too caught up in the moment to realize the recklessness of it. Fighting the urge to vomit, hands on my mouth trying to keep my lips clenched tightly together, I ultimately collapsed on the mattress, not even caring about the grime.

When I awoke, there was blood on the mattress where my face had been, crusted up around my nose and mouth. I threw out the same knee again upon trying to stand--but this time, I threw it out as though the joint weren’t actually connected, and I spilled out on the cement floor. I really wish my reader hadn’t been dead by then, because I would kill right now for a photograph of something that can make me vomit. And I mean I puked to the bile, the way that the fall had disheveled my leg. Couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I managed to get it back together, and gather my belongings. Putting my cane back together, I barely managed to get to my date with Cecil for lunch the next day.

I bullshat some stupid excuse about having had to hit the yards early that morning for something time sensitive. The night before he’d suggested that he could get me a job working at the Central Library, and after lunch he dragged me up there to show me around. I was interested in doing all this, really I was... but it was so hard with all my joints feeling like every surface was over-oiled. With fifteen minutes to closing time, I ran into the Geek trying to use his library card for the first time. Meeting him, I can guarantee you he’s a stalker too. ...I made an idiot out of myself and really shook him up trying to get him to eat my finger splints. I’m still messed up over that.

But that doesn’t even get to the verbot shit. The stress of having slagged up first impressions with the Geek had me pretty literally falling apart. All the physical problems my joint disorder’s inured me to, that all’s magnified by what the Fluxeldrin did to me. Worse for wear, I ended up trying to get in with Dr. Bell before the All’s Well Clinic closed for the evening. I didn’t manage it. So, I did the logical thing and broke in through the back door with the intent to “borrow” some pain pills, and wait out the night to see him first thing in the morning. The first week I was like this was the most excruciating, man. This condition has the unprecedented ability to drive me to do just about anything to alleviate these systems, when they flare up. And breaking and entering a pharmaceutical storage wasn’t outside the realm of what felt acceptable in my present state that night...

I fell face-first into Bell’s racket. He’s the only doctor in the city with knowledge of the metahuman condition, and the only one whom I can reasonably see helping me cope with what the Fluxeldrin did to me--but it comes at with a high price tag. I know his deal, but he has that B&E hanging over me. If I don’t do exactly what he says, he’s got ways to make my life hell. And he’s got me running shopping errands for him for the truck he cooks for his projects. He’s the heart of the Quarter, I just know it.

I’m so torn on the right thing to do because my dick doesn’t want what’s taking place to ever stop. I guess I’m telling you not just that I trust you not to tell anybody, but that I want some input on what kind of person it makes me, to be going along with this madness to avoid the fallout of shaking the foundation everything’s tentatively scattered upon. I’m scared, Rev. For Bell’s victims, for me, for Cecil. For everybody who’s ever gotten sick in the Quarter.

This got really long-winded and meandered into a “from one friend to another” situation. So, to make it up to you, a quick and dirty recap:

I broke into a stalking yard and stole a flask of fluxeldrin. And drank it. I drank something that fluoresced neon lime green, smelled and tasted like rot, and felt like gasoline. Something I knew could kill me. Something I knew was banned in its industry of origin due to its health hazards. I drank that. And it made me the shittiest meta that will likely ever be.

It’d be nice to meet, but I’m not sure how that would even work. You said you’re a fish now, but you’d be a fish out of water... Even I know better than to go anywhere near the toxic soup that dares to call itself Hudson Bay...

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To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sorry to have cut out on you like that. —————————————

>>Spouting o... >>Creepier t... >>What was i... >>Linnaeus a... >>He’d said ... >>He did not... >>In deliber... >>If he had ... >>I never re... >>Bone becam... >>The metamo... >>The feathe... >>I was fort.. >>So I was a... >>You know m... >>I suppose ... >>A celebrat... >>We’re both... >>I want to ...

>There are no wo... >You want to kno... >I vacillate whe... >I don’t know if... >Any rate... Aft... >I shambled down... >My reader was g... >When I awoke, t... >I bullshat some... >But that doesn’... >I fell face-fir... >I’m so torn on ... >This got really... >I broke into a ... >It’d be nice to...

Delight is in the details. Oh, would I have never expected a short story written explicitly for mine eyes alone--let alone with such minutiae of gauche detail! Were it under suspicion of being fiction, I would think you a master for the unfortunate believability of your tale; that the course of events you’ve described can’t not have happened.

I’ve been around the coastline of the Quarter since my rebirth. The scent you described is very potent for this nose, these gills. If I were to hazard assumptions, I do believe the stuff has begun to seep into the water table, into the river. Of all the areas of the waterways around this city I can’t tolerate, it’s there, believe it or not. Something about it is fundamentally repulsive, and no matter what it is, I can’t shake what feels like an archetypal fear of it. So, for you to so casually narrate your deliberate pursuit of obtaining this Fluxeldrin business, and so flippantly have imbibed it... Well, I harbor a revolting admiration for you.

You do find yourself between a rock and a hard place, I imagine. Several. Or maybe, you simply find yourself hard between all these rocks. I won’t force details, though I can certainly read between the lines. It’s difficult to say. But, knowing you...I needn’t remind you how often we’ve shared the fantasy of some pandemic mutating the masses like some fabric-rending reality, culling the unfit. Everything is perfect.

The world is fluorescing into wounds, as you so describe.

To say you’d kill for something graphic enough to make you retch. I’d love to see it, too. Systemically disarticulate you, just to watch what you’d do. Stretch out that stuff that used to be your skin, curious how translucent it is, admire the veins.

Calling the bay an unapproachable toxic soup, though? I survive just fine in it. It’s all I have, Kether.

Regardless.

I’m sure we can determine a way to make this work.

#the world was beginning to fluoresce into wounds #neinaugen #9augen #melanochro kara #a maze of pain and insane fantasies

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