#but yeah it would be so comical/tragic that the man gets no break

[lady-bee-holmes]

Archivist Sasha au, but Jon is still the one who gets marked. He’s still him and applies his usual mix of curiosity, stubbornness, and idiocy to the role of assistant, and he will always play stupid games and will always win even stupider prizes

There’s no apocalypse (cause he isn’t the Archivist) and for the most part everyone lives, he’s just really unlucky and really bad at making decisions

[koipend]

How They Ask You Out || JJK Men

Character(s): Gojo, Geto, Toji, gn!reader Prompt: How they ask you out on a (first!) date. Category: Fluff / Romance

Gojo Satoru

If it was High school Satoru, I think he'd be awfully brave about it-- scratch that, he wouldn't ask he'd tell you-- or at least pretend to be he'd need Suguru to hype him up beforehand I honestly don't think he would wait long before asking you out. Like to 'decide his feelings' or even just test the waters.

Probably just waltz up to you after class, with that goddamned smirk of his and lean over your desk while Shoko laughed behind him and be like, "Let's go on a date"

He'd make a bigggg deal out of it, especially the you accept. Gloat all about it, and how awesome he is-- and probably how 'lucky you were'

Still, the first date would be secluded and well thought out and despite his teasing personality, I reckon it would be tragically romantic.

"Hey! Yeah-- you!" Gojo smirked, leaning over your desk, his glasses shining in the sun as you look up from your notes, "You free tonight? We should go on a date."

If it was Older Gojo, though, I think it would be much less public, and probably have more build up. There would be flirting, and you'd probably know that he was going to ask you out eventually.

I think he's the type to jokingly ask people out on dates-- especially when you're dating him he would just pout in front of his students and things-- But.

For the first date, unlike younger Satoru, he would do it in private, probably text you to come somewhere, or be hanging out with you and bring out an almost comically large bouquet or your favorite flowers, and ask.

Then of course, when you accept he's going to gloat even harder than high school Satoru, probably to Nanami and his students. And Utahime. He'd tease too--

You glanced at your phone, frowning at Gojo's text, 'Open the door. I'm outside.' Still, you did, cautiously opening the door, only to be met with a large bouquet, shoved elegantly into your hands, as Gojo calls your name.

"C'monnnnn" He said, smiling a brilliant smile at you, "I have reservations at your favorite restaurant, its a date."

Geto Suguru

With Suguru, though, I almost think there wouldn't be a first date so much as a string of hangouts that basically constitute as dates but there's just no... confirmation.

But, eventually, he does get around to it-- probably much quieter than Satoru. He'd probably pull you over during a group hangout, bump shoulders with you and go, "So... dinner tonight?"

It's not exactly a date explicitly, at least, but, the implication is there, and that enough for the both of you

Then, when you accept he'd have this small smile, and take you to an awfully fancy place-- texting for you to dress up beforehand.

I don't think he'd telll anyone really, either, not to say he'd hide it so much as he'd probably only tell Gojo jokingly, and everyone else would only find out when it gained relevance.

You and Suguru were hanging around, everyone else already grouped together, while you both took a smoke break. Shoko had already gone in. You glanced at him, watching his eyes follow you intently.

He says your name, and you raise a brow, "Do you-- wanna get dinner tonight? At that fancy place?"

Fushiguro Toji

THIS MAN MAKES YOU PAY.

Once you get over that fact, I still think he'd be the one to ask you out.

Not gonna lie with y'all, he would either do it over text, or do it after work. Let's say after work, for the weird romance of it. You'd both be drenched in blood, just finished collecting payment and probably heading to a bar or casino.

He'd just turn to you with a laissez faire smirk and ask you out.

He's probably got unbridled confidence, like Satoru, but the kind of casualness that rival Suguru, he's a seasoned vet of life-- so I just can't imagine him being nervous or bothered really.

Of course, once you accept there’s no going back, he'll take you to this place, probably make you at the least pay for your half of the meal, if not his.

You were covered in blood, desperately in need of a shower-- you'd have to drag Toji to get a shower before he hit the bar. Speaking of, you glance over at him, he's counting his paycheck, before he grins and look up at you.

"Say," He starts, "Doll, you wanna grab something to eat with me? We'll make it a date."

[imperiuswrecked]

There's something deeply tragic and disturbing about the Johnny/Crystal/Pietro love triangle. Johnny and Crystal are the "kids" of their teams. They're more innocent and tend to be spoiled and protected by their friends. When they're together, they seem to love projected ideals more than each other. Johnny wants a pretty girl who has no trouble with his heroics, and Crystal was a guy who shows her the outside world. Conversely, Pietro matured quickly. (1/2)

Nobody protected Pietro, he was a protector. Nor did anyone reach to comfort him and give him space to show his vulnerability. When Pietro was thrown into the equation, he became protector and emotional caretaker for Crystal. Crystal became a source of peace and comfort he had never known before. Johnny and Crystal had fun, but their love wasn't as deep and natural like Reed and Sue or Ben and Alicia. Pietro and Crystal, though, complimented each other. (2/3) But of course, Crystal, give or take mind control from Maximus, ruined what she and Pietro had. It didn't help that Pietro was also mind controlled into mistreating her. Crystal will always crave that extra bit of fun and irresponsibility, even if it means betraying people who love her and might be waiting for her. She's kind and idealistic (at least intended to be), but she doesn't have her priorities straight. (3/4) And honestly, the biggest issue here is that writers don't know where to take Johnny and Crystal beyond being the token team kids. In-universe, neither of them face any pressure to mature and take responsibility either. Reed and Sue allow Johnny to drop out of school to pursue full-time celebrity, and the Inhuman Royals don't mind anything Crystal does as long as she does her Royal duties. Johnny laughs things off, Crystal plays helpless, lonely victim. (4/5) Opposite of Spidey's issues, writers keep trying to shove Johnny and Crystal together, even when they've proven they haven't worked and will not work out just because both of them are too naive, too prone to wishful thinking, and too in need of quick self-gratification. Pietro is the one who truly gets screwed over, because he came in looking for commitment and a place to belong, and he got sacrificed for Johnny and Crystal's drama. (5/5)

I don't think the writers should take Johnny/Crystal anywhere, at this point it just doesn't work imo. They were teen crushes at one point but I don't think there is really anything there to build upon. I just wanted to point out that Johnny does go to college so he did finish high school, but I think Johnny like many comic characters is stuck on a loop because marvel is too afraid of making long term changes to older characters. Even Spider-Man is stuck on a loop where he isn't allowed to progress any further.

I do think that Pietro fell in love with Crystal because she was kind to him but also because she took care of him when he was alone which would cause him to fall even harder in love with her, but I disagree that they were compatible, they were also too young and their personalities/backgrounds too unrelatable to be married. Pietro always wants to set down roots vs Crystal trying to break free from her royal trappings.

Pietro was 100% thrown in to break up Johnny/Crystal permanently so that the writers could be free to go back to the loveable bachelor Johnny who just can't catch a break with love. So yeah I do agree, it's tragic how Pietro was treated and his own story was shifted so that it could be a part of the Johnny/Crystal drama but I can't complain too much because without Pietro/Crystal then we wouldn't have Luna and I really love that Pietro is a father and has a daughter even though Marvel forgets her all the time.

[vitos-ordination-song]

Woobie-fication is one of the worst results of fandom taking over the world. People want to fit every story into a fandom mould; a lot of stuff these days comes pre-fandomified, like a majority of Netflix shows or bad cartoons like The Owl House. But when there is an original, unique piece of fiction, fans will find a way to make it meet their preconceived notions and give them the emotional validation they want.

It’s really funny when this happens to something like Breaking Bad. It’s overall pretty hostile to LGBT readings, it’s extremely cynical, has a hopelessly depressing final season, and is about pure corruption for its own sake. Fans make it cute and create gay headcanons. It has no political theming and actively avoided having any artistic integrity on that front. Fans write analysis of how it’s about American health care or whatever. Etc.

The woobie-fication of Jesse Pinkman has long bothered me. I think he became the posterchild for unhappy fail children with semi-shitty parents. From there it follows that no actual character traits of his matter except that he yells “yeah bitch” and has charming moments. He’s everyone’s soft boy or angst punching bag.

I was around in the fandom in like 2017 which is when a lot of this started. It’s not just about people drawing an occasional cute comic—it’s watching fanon take on a life of its own. Like, here’s how the process played out with the Mike and Jesse relationship:

Walt is abusive to Jesse (true)

Mike is nice to Jesse (true)

Therefore, Mike and Jesse have an adorable Found Family relationship of deep significance which should be endlessly expounded on and turned into every other fandom adoptive father/son dynamic (boring and disconnected from what actually happens in the show)

It’s like people are more fans of fandom itself than whatever work they purport to get into. Mike does end up liking Jesse and trying to look out for him, but people actively ignore that Jesse is a full grown man in a criminal enterprise. I don’t really like Breaking Bad anymore but that’s not because it’s poorly written. It would never be so saccharine as to have Mike tragically sacrifice his life for Jesse or something. They kept it restrained and understated and that was why it worked. Mike knew that he couldn’t make Jesse’s decisions for him so all he did was give advice and walk away. But people are so base when approaching these things. Because they identify with Jesse, they need to make him into a thing they can project on to, and then they emotionally nurture themselves through this kind of fandomization. To some degree I think comfort seeking with escapist media is fine, but it’s just bizarre to me how people do that with something like Breaking Bad. Nothing is immune from this treatment.

[ruscha]

its like on the one hand i adore nuanced n subtle performances & characterizations where "villain behavior" in protagonists is concerned bc it doesnt make the villain/morally gray character into an "other" or an external threat but a human like u and me, capable of great and terrible things & often emboldened by systemic privileges to carry out their deeds (esp violence). but as michael haneke talks abt in his companion essay to his 1997/2007 film funny games (a movie largely about audiences' relation to violence in horror, which i am also in the process of writing an essay about), this subtlety requires the audience to have an inherent & appropriate level of sympathy for the victims of said harm/violence. which uh . yeah so a society that is already desensitized to the harms done in real life by our hierarchies & institutions (and a culture of socially acceptable violence targeted towards marginalized ppl especially) will produce audiences who often simply blindly root for the villain & ignore the harm he causes to others— many such cases!! then the dilemma for writers becomes this: make a comically straightforward & unsympathetic villain character out of your dark protagonist to get your point across, which will likely result in some ppl rooting for him anyway (see: culture of socially rewarded violence), or wade into the nuance pool & risk making said protagonist so relatable/sympathetic that his blatant harms done to others seem justified or at least excusable by an audience who loves him or sees themself in him & therefore refuses to acknowledge his flaws. so then, what are the trade-offs in subtlety & subtext vs just creating a no-nuance bad guy? does it matter? which jack torrance is the more interesting character: the version in stephen king's the shining, a family man with a tragic descent into madness, or the version in stanley kubrick's film adaptation, a near-comical representation of pure patriarchal violence? would walter white have garnered less of a following from misogynist breaking bad fans if vince gilligan had abandoned his idea of slowly turning his sympathetic protagonist unsympathetic, and had just made him straightforwardly terrible from the beginning? which version of james sunderland is a more appropriate vehicle for players to explore a troubled & guilt-ridden psyche in silent hill 2— the original, where he consistently acts stilted and strange, or the remake, where his performance is so disarming and subtle that core details about his flaws as a person can easily be missed if you aren't paying attention? not to mention the complete opposite effect for those harmed by the nuanced villain, chiefly those who are marginalized, who must not have any character flaws whatsoever and be written & performed so carefully in order to make audiences feel for them at all. not to mention morally gray characters who aren't white men & thus are almost never afforded a nuanced audience reaction— they are simply ontologically evil, etc etc etc etc.

[the-minster]

Jason Todd being girl-coded, you've opened my eyes! You are so right and suddenly a lot of things about him make sense (including why I like him so much), especially with how the narrative treats him (right down to turning a morally complex character into a straight-up card-carrying villain who eats puppies, ironically right around the time they did that to another female character, Talia). Jason is even written how I (a girl) tend to write angry victim power fantasy female characters. Like yes babygirl, scream and rage against the heavens about how unfair it all is!

I remember a post calling Jason "the Punisher for girls" except... yeah he kinda is. The Punisher is a male power fantasy with all that implies, while Jason is such a girl power fantasy and written with a lot of the usual negative narrative bias female characters usually get.

Except if we're honest and look past the superficial similarities of lethal force and guns, the narrative role of Batman is far more like the Punisher than Jason. Jason's role is the Punisher's daughter. Jason is if Lisa came back and was angry after what happened and big parent man Frank had to try to keep his (hysterical emotional angry-like-a-girl) daughter from crossing his arbitrary lines because she was going "too far" and tragically, he's unable to "save" her from herself and he must Move On while his child gets locked up or lies dying behind him (I can seriously imagine exactly how a proper Lisa-is-back plot would go down it's crazy how similar it'd be to Jason's return).

And another way Jason is girl-coded is that he's mentored by Talia, a woman. In comics you don't see male characters mentored by female ones often. Sometimes they can be taught specific skills by them for a brief time (like Tim and Shiva) but Talia's role as Jason's primary mentor and caretaker for several years is pretty unusual in comics.

True!! I'm glad my posts resonated with you so much. :)

I don't really know anything about the Punisher so I can't add my opinion to the mix, but other people will probably recognize your point.

But! On the subject of female characters mentoring male characters @benbamboozled made a great post actually about how women are seen as Having A Specific Skill or Expertise to teach whereas men are mentors For All, or For Life. And yeah Jason does break the rule absolutely! But we also don't get to see to much of that on page. He is in Talia's care for years, but other than Lost Days and utrh we just don't get to see these two interact. I either made a post or drafted and forgot about it, how DC won't publish Talia and Jason working together because it is vital to DC's agenda of keeping them marginalized that they each be alone nomatter how much reason and history they have to be in more frequent and meaningful contact.

At the same time, we really only see Talia caring for Jason in a motherly context, she isn't cast quite in the role of a mentor, rather sending him around to teachers than teaching him herself. It's a step in the right direction, but the fact of any mentoring and most interactions occuring off-screen, as well as their relationship being ignored later, or ret-conned like in the utrh movie where Talia was kind of replaced with Ra's.

For me a lot of Jason's girl-coded aspect arises from his opposition to Bruce who embodies patriarchal ideals. To some extent Jason is in the role of every person who has been let down by the patriarchy. The system we were told is for our benefit as well and which has let us down. It's about how we were let down by this world we thought was fair when we were smaller and trusted to be protected. It's about how our own father's have let us down, even if the time we last thought of them as protectors might have been many, many years ago.

None of these experiences are exclusionary to women either. I am not a woman, but I am queer. And I have been let down both by the idea that my father could ever be my protector instead of the one I needed protection from. And I have been let down by the idea I used to have of a world that would give me a voice without me having to prove myself every step of the way.

The need I have for more interaction between Talia and Jason is so much about two people villainized and victimized by the same patriarch-favoring narrative bonding and rising to challenge and upset the status quo. While I am aware that it will never happen and that DC already left Winnick a lot of leeway to have made Talia play such a type of role at all, logically it should be what follows.

Jason is girl-coded, but he also drinks his respect-women juices.

[superectojazzmage]

A Handy Summary Of The Star Wars Franchise:

The Phantom Menace: Two hours of political babble interspersed with cool fights and annoying CGI characters. Introduced the world to George Lucas’s… interesting dialogue. Not as bad as you remember.

Attack Of The Clones: The real worst movie of the Prequel Trilogy. Obi-Wan Kenobi IS Philip Marlowe while Natalie Portman makes an admirable effort to act like she’s turned on by child murder. Worse then you remember.

Revenge Of The Sith: Depression - The Movie. The bad guy wins, the good guys are dead or turned to evil, the Galaxy falls to darkness, and the asthmatic cyborg will never get to finish his lightsaber collection.

A New Hope: The one that started it all. The heartwarming story of a himbo farmboy who joins a radical terrorist movement at the urging of an old man who says he’s a wizard. Really more of a framework and jumping off point then a real story, so everybody says they love it but don’t have much of anything to really say about it.

The Empire Strikes Back: Aw yeah, now we’re talking! The best of the mainline movies. The Rebels come out swinging and get their shit kicked in while James Earl Jones and Mark Hamill have a touching father-son reunion and Boba Fett steals the show. Not as shocking as it used to be considered because everyone copied it.

Return Of The Jedi: The OT movie everyone has mixed feelings about. The epic conclusion to George Lucas’s personal story in the setting, dragged down by the addition of hideous funk singers from my nightmares and militant Care Bears. According to Disney, nothing that happened in this one mattered btw!

The Force Awakens: Brace yourself for disappointment. J. J. Abrams blows up the Star Wars universe to get everything back to the “Empire Vs Rebels” status quo and set up his mystery boxes. Tricked you into thinking the Sequel Trilogy would passable.

The Last Jedi: Subverted your expectations that it would be good. Rian Johnson tries to salvage what Abrams did to the Star Wars universe and do something edgy and new, to severely mixed results. Luke Skywalker drinking alien titty milk was kept in but him mourning his brother-in-law’s death was cut as “unnecessary”.

The Rise Of Skywalker: Disney tries to stick the landing and breaks their legs instead. J. J. Abrams throws a shitfit over what Johnson did with his mystery boxes and torches the Star Wars universe down even more. Somehow… this movie is not good. How is this possible? Dark business, corporatizing, secrets only the Mouse knew.

Rogue One: Everybody’s dead, Jim. The Dirty Dozen if it was set in the Star Wars universe. A giant continuity filler manages to be infinitely better then the entire Sequel Trilogy.

Solo: Now the story of the smuggler who lost everything and the acclaimed director who had to film his origin story. It’s Solo Development. The tragically underrated and unlucky one, guilty of nothing but being released at a bad time and quite good removed from that.

Droids/Ewoks: Ah, yes. “Droids and Ewoks”, the first two Star Wars television series made back in the 80s, of generally poor quality and so painfully divorced from the Star Wars aesthetic that nobody acknowledges their cursed existence. We have dismissed that claim.

Clone Wars Microseries: The real first Star Wars TV show. Genndy Tartakovsky makes one of the most kickass cartoons ever in one of the most limited time frames ever. General Grievous gave you nightmares as a kid.

The Clone Wars: “This is for kids?” - The Series. The sprawling, epic story of a failing decadent government’s final days, occasionally interjected with painfully out of place juvenile comic relief. One of the big reasons for the Prequel Trilogy’s salvaged reputation.

The Bad Batch: Immediately after the Clone Wars, a crack commando unit was persecuted by the Empire. These men promptly escaped to the galactic underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them... maybe you can hire The Bad Batch.

Tales Of The Jedi Cartoon: Dave Filoni wants to get those unmade Clone Wars episodes finished and he WILL goddammit! Totally dickteased you by making you think it would be a TOTJ adaptation.

Rebels: The wacky, fanciful, fun-filled story of a terrorist cell waging guerrilla warfare on a tyrannical fascist government. Fights an uphill battle to meet the standard set by Clone Wars, and ultimately succeeds.

The Mandalorian: Dave Filoni and Jon Favreau show Abrams and Johnson how it’s done, God bless them. Pedro Pascal is sent on an epic quest to recreate “Lone Wolf and Cub” using a Yoda-themed Cabbage-Patch Kids doll. Meanwhile, the Mandalorians continue to uphold their most important cultural tradition; hating other Mandalorians.

The Book Of Boba Fett: They fucked with the wrong Māori! Boba Fett tries to become a crime lord but accidentally becomes a civic planner instead, while also going on drug trips and learning the ways of the proud “Native American Metaphor” people. Probably not what you expected it to be, but not necessarily in a bad way.

Ahsoka: Ahsoka and Sabine’s Excellent Adventure. Lucafilm decides to finally resolve plot threads from Rebels over a decade later. Tremble in fear as Rosario Dawson makes the women in your life question their sexuality.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Live footage of Obi-Wan aging terribly due to the stress of his awful life and getting sassed by little girl Leia. Meanwhile, the Inquisitors have some office drama. Shockingly weak despite a lovely premise and some great performances. Tremble in fear as Ewan MacGregor makes the men in your life question their sexuality.

Andor: Disney starts scraping the bottom of the barrel for Star Wars spin-off ideas. Nevermind this show fucking slaps. A treat for all those fans who wanted more dark, gritty Star Wars. Sex becomes canon to the Star Wars universe as Cassian Andor re-enacts Ocean’s Eleven and some more Imperial office drama leaves numerous people dead.

Resistance: The crappy Sequel Trilogy equivalent of Clone Wars and Rebels. Shows great potential but is hobbled at every possible turn, fails utterly to mature, and ends with a whimper. At least the animation’s nice.

The Holiday Special: THIS DIDN’T HAPPEN.

Dawn Of The Jedi: The painfully obscure origin story of the Jedi Order and the chronologically earliest Star Wars story. Both more and less interesting then you would think.

Tales Of The Jedi: The awesome as fuck and woefully underrated comics that form the backbone of the whole Star Wars universe. Civil wars, tragic falls from grace, hot Sith-On-Sith action, crazy battle sequences, great characters, and a surprising amount of busting ghosts. What more could you want?

KOTOR Comic: John Jackson-Miller bridges the gap between Tales and Knights using the most pathetic failure of a Jedi ever and his quest to not get murdered for bad grades. None of the characters are who you think they’re supposed to be, except when they are.

Knights Of The Old Republic: You were Space Hitler all along and you didn’t even know! Now redeem yourself by completing side quests and beating up your disabled former friend… or screw that and use Force Persuade to bully people into giving you free stuff. BioWare makes the best Star Wars game ever and ever amen.

Knights Of The Old Republic II - The Sith Lords: Winner of both the “Unnecessarily Long Title” and the “Tragically Unfinished But Released Anyways” awards. Drew Karpyshan’s adventurous writing is replaced with Chris Avellone’s edgy nihilism. An annoying old shrew badgers you to question things while never letting you question her ever. APATHY IS DEATH.

The Old Republic: Post-EA BioWare begins their long and glorious history of shitting on their legacy by refusing to make KOTOR 3 and instead producing a Titantic-shaped MMO that inexplicably did NOT sink and die. Enjoy it for what it is, just don’t regard it as canon for your own sanity.

Knight Errant: A Jedi becomes a social activist in Sith Space. Kinda cool comics and books set between the Old Republic era and Darth Bane. Could’ve bloomed into something more interesting but Disney hates fun.

Darth Bane: A based and red-pilled Sith Lord decides the other Sith are doing it wrong and sets out to do it right. An entire novel trilogy built out of a character and backstory detail that didn’t even make the final script of Phantom Menace, and it’s awesome.

The High Republic: Novels and comics about the Jedi spending their glory days fighting evil plants and a bunch of a anarchist rednecks who know hyperspace magic. Still finding it’s feet but wins lots of points for creativity.

Darth Plagueis: A sweet old evil wizard gets backstabbed by his apprentice after getting shit-faced. Probably one of the most important novels.

Open Seasons: Jango Fett’s Life Fucking Sucks - The Comic Book. Contains vital lore for the Mandalorians which Disney took over a decade to acknowledge.

Jedi Apprentice: The prequel to the Prequels. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan squeeze as many quirky stories as they can into the timeframe right before Phantom Menace.

Starfighter: A pair of great flight sim games set in the Prequel Era. Play as a various mercenaries, soldiers, and privateers and engage in direct action against Space Amazon the Trade Federation. You WILL love Nym.

Bounty Hunter: Jango Fett battles criminals, monsters, fallen Jedi, Mr. Krabs, and annoying level design in this sweet video game tie-in to Attack Of The Clones. Have fun getting distracted chasing after side targets!

Republic Comics: Quinlan Vos is a loose cannon Jedi who doesn’t play by the rules! Also, lots and lots of war crimes happen. One of the few EU works to be fully endorsed by Lucas himself but surprisingly (and undeservedly) obscure despite it.

Republic Commando: SWAT but way cooler because it’s Star Wars. Your tactics will confuse and frighten your men. There’s some supplementary novels too, if you feel like listening to Karen Traviss bitch about the Jedi and suck Mandalorian cock for several hours.

Battlefront: Call Of Duty but way cooler because it’s Star Wars. Watch out for those wrist rockets!!!!

Empire At War: StarCraft but way cooler because it’s Star Wars. Have fun making rancors eat people.

The Force Unleashed: God Of War but… well, it WISHES it was cooler because it’s Star Wars. Fun gameplay is held back by a completely ridiculous story resembling a terrible fanfic that is so embarrassing its barely considered canon, if it is all (it usually is not).

Purge: Rubbing the salt into the wounds of Order 66, starring Darth Vader!

Dark Times: That title ain’t a fucking joke. A Jedi struggles to keep his morals in one of the darkest, bleakest, edgiest Star Wars comics ever written. Seriously, this will give you depression.

Jedi - Fallen Order: The Dark Souls of Star Wars. Cameron Monaghan gets his ass kicked by Oogdo Bogdo so you can get that new poncho.

Vader Immortal: Battle Darth Vader himself with the power of a gimmicky thousand-dollar VR video game accessory that almost nobody owns!

Han Solo Trilogy: The ORIGINAL secret, depressing origin story of Han Solo. If you don’t feel like reading books you can just watch Solo, it’s basically just a distilled version of this.

Marvel’s Star Wars Comics: Comes in two flavors: batshit crazy 80s-era Marvel or bland and worthless 2010s-eras Marvel! At least they do great reprints.

Splinter Of The Mind’s Eye: A really really really weird early novel. Notable for being one of the first EU works and for the copious amounts of accidental incest-shipping.

Tie Fighter/X-Wing: Simulate being a pilot in the Star Wars universe, complete with getting killed by Darth Vader for minor mistakes.

Empire/Rebellion Comics: A cool and underrated little pair of comics depicting the day to day of the war between the Rebels and Empire.

Agent Of The Empire: SECRET AAAAGENT MAN! SECRET AAAAGENT MAN! James Bond comics in the Star Wars universe.

Shadows Of The Empire: Is is a comic, a video game, a book, or a toyline? The answer is yes. Important mostly for how it helped establish how the Star Wars EU could actually function.

Aftermath/Shattered Empire: Disney’s clumsy, boring attempt to make their own Post-ROTJ canon and justify the Sequel Trilogy that will be subsequently contradicted by the Sequel Trilogy itself. Roundly ignored by just about everyone aside from Cobb Vanth and periodic vague token mentions of Operation: Cinder as a thing that happened we guess.

X-Wing Rogue Squadron: Michael Stackpole sends Wedge Antilles and his merry men out onto zany, continuity-fixing misadventures and ends up creating the Chad Fel Empire that makes the Virgin New Republic look bad. Comes in comic, book, and video game forms for easy consumption!

Crimson Empire: One of those Amogus-looking red guys that follows the Emperor around takes center stage and surprises you by being totally awesome.

Squadrons: Disney’s discount version of the X-Wing/Tie Fighter games, but now with an immersive first-person perspective and a yawn-inducing story.

Luke Skywalker And The Shadows Of Mindor: The awesome novel everyone forgets. Matthew Stover fixes Star Wars continuity by pitting Luke Skywalker against his mightiest enemy yet; bad fanfiction.

The Thrawn Trilogy: The REAL Sequel Trilogy. We got military competence and clones all up in this joint! Timothy Zahn sets a standard that future Star Wars will constantly struggle to meet. You WILL root for Thrawn.

Dark Empire: Somehow… Palpatine has returned several decades before Disney did it. Generally viewed with withering contempt by everyone, which makes one wonder why Disney copied it so much over the rest of Legends. Surprisingly not the worst thing looking back.

Dark Forces Saga: KOTOR’s main competitor for title of “Best Star Wars Games”. Kyle Katarn and Jaden Korr spend four increasingly awesome video games torturing stormtroopers with the Force, solving frustrating puzzles, and busting ghosts.

The New Rebellion: Another awesome novel everyone forgets. Luke Skywalker fights one of his students turned evil. That, uh, happens a lot.

Young Jedi Knights: A fun little series of novels about the Skywalker kids becoming real Jedi, and also war crimes. Yet another example of what people WANTED the Sequel Trilogy to be.

Hand Of Thrawn: Weekend At Bernie’s, Star Wars edition, guest-starring psychic furries. Timothy Zahn sits down the EU writers class and shows them how writing for Star Wars is done.

Union: Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade get hitched and promptly get caught up in an international incident proving once and for all the power of the Skywalker Gene.

New Jedi Order: The Star Wars universe is invaded by Warhammer 40K rejects in the epic novel series that breaks all the rules, for better or for worse. Of variable quality for large stretches but ultimately settles down on being pretty awesome, if overly dark at times.

Dark Nest Trilogy: The Jedi fight a bunch of evil bugs. It exists, and that’s about all it has going for it.

Legacy Of The Force: Jacen Solo’s No Good, Very Bad Fall To The Dark Side. Has WILDY varying quality and is mostly just the nightmarish location of a huge spat amongst some of Legends’s writers. Still not as bad as Dark Nest and has some cool bits sprinkled in here and there. But really, you’re better off just skipping to FOTJ.

Fate Of The Jedi: The Jedi and Republic battle corrupt politicians, Cthulhu, and the backwoods yokel version of the Sith in the real sequel to NJO. Things get back on track after the disaster that was LOTF. Deeply flawed in some respects, but ultimately pretty good and a fitting finale for the Post-OT era.

Legacy: The spectacular chronologically final story. Politics, war, redemption, and Cade Skywalker getting high off his ass on deathsticks in the grand final battle between the Jedi and Sith.

Visions: Star Wars finally achieves its lifelong goal of becoming a kawaii as fuck anime. It’s an anthology so quality is all over the place.

Infinities: What If… Star Wars had a terrible ripoff of Marvel’s “What If…?” comics?

Tag And Bink: Abbot And Costello Meet Darth Vader.

LEGO Star Wars: Your childhood comfort food. Spend countless hours of non-canon fun killing Lego Jar Jar and trying to find all the goddamn unlockables.

Legends Canon: The original continuity. Free and experimental but wildly inconsistent at times.

Disney Canon: The new continuity. Relatively consistent but often stifled, bland, and overly-safe.

Your Personal Canon: The only real continuity.

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

I have two suggestions for the Gray Ghost AU.

1: Wes Weston is no longer under suspicion of being a Ghost. Now, he is under suspicion of being the Phantom Hunter. He is athletic, fits the build, is on record as saying he wants to fight Ghosts, and has access to the tech (just BS a connection to the GiW or Axiom). The difference this makes in his regular life is mostly null... except for the fact that Ghosts now keep targeting him for retribution attacks. Danny goes out of his way to obscure his identity from everyone, meaning Wes is seen as them catching Phantom Hunter off guard. I imagine him trying to pin it on Danny but because he so clearly disdains his parent's work, literally no one believes him.

2: The idea of Danny getting his hands on an Ectoplasm enhanced suit like the Technus upgrade Val got to her suit, most likely given by Maddie as a way to bond with Danny (and further prep him for a transformation into a Halfa). Except given his preexisting contamination (his mum is half Ghost) and Maddie messing with the suit, he ends up with the suit now fusing to him more thoroughly. After reading too many Iron Man comics, I picture something like his Bleeding Edge armour. It is basically stored mostly in his body, and he can augment it with extra technology. This would probably be a win scenario for Maddie because this puts Danny even further into Halfa territory. This also makes things more tragic with Val. Because not only has Maddie betrayed Danny to experiment on him, but because it means Val failed to stop this happening to someone she cares about. Also, this opens up a new opportunity for one of the Clones: one who is now a more pronounced cyborg made with a prototype of the suit Maddie gave to Danny, maybe he looks like the Terminator or something. For extra irony, he's the nicest one and likes gardening or something. I know this can be taken further, but I'm not able to focus on it more due to exhaustion.

Also, your idea is great, and thank you for sharing it with us and letting us all throw our suggestions at you. Thanks for all the good content.

no thank you! this stuff is always way more fun and interesting when it's collaborated! most of these ideas wouldn't exist without other people's suggestions, even the initial prompt! ✨

also @everystarstorm this will answer your ask too ~ y'all sharing a braincell today haha

1. omg yes YES yes this is perfect absolutely 100%

Wes just cannot catch a break in ANY universe (the concept of Walter Weston working for Vlad has been a Thing so we can keep that around here since Vlad works at Axion and that can be the connection, maybe Walter is just the paperwork guy or the company's legal attorney)

I also had a suggestion from @burns-art-account that Valerie gets her own version of a Wes, but like since the name Wes initially came from a joke about Sam's name being misread upside down, we could do the same with one of Val's friends, like Star could be Jets or Jeqs, or something like that

although I think this person would be less open and vocal about Valerie since her popularity would make it impossible to point a finger at without being laughed at by the whole school (I mean just look at Wes, his target is just some nerdy kid and he's still a laughingstock), so this character could be a little more subtle in trying to get evidence to out Val, it would make a pretty funny running gag if every time she got a chance to photograph Val transforming or capture some kind of evidence, something always gets in the way at the last moment, like a bird flying in front of the camera or something

2. I want to keep Danny getting the suit from Technus because I'd want this universe's version of that episode to still happen because it was a great episode between these two and it could still work with the switch around

but Maddie really would have to change course with her portal plan because this whole thing could actually make that more difficult for Maddie, all of her calculations weren't made with a highly ecto-contaminated person in mind, this would mean she would have to readjust the portal's design between Danny and the rest of her family, or actually just throw that plan away in favour of working with this new angle

she could realise that her kids HAVE picked up some traits from her because yeah a normal human shouldn't be able to do that to ghost tech

the idea that Maddie does add to his arsenal is good, once she figures out that any tech he uses gets absorbed into his suit she starts making more weaponry that's super compatible with him, possibly even making stuff that will purposely contaminate him further to bring him closer to being like a halfa (this would be a pretty huge step in Maddie's villain development because now she's resorted to experimenting on her own son, she's losing sight of why she's doing all this in the first place) it would be really cool to see Maddie gradually losing her maternal motherly nature to the cold calculating scientist

like her warmth used to feel at least somewhat genuine deep down but now it just feels like a part she's playing, slimy and sinister, she was always manipulative but she had a real genuine care for her family underneath, she thought she was doing the right thing, but that love and care is slipping away into just doing whatever it takes to get what she wants, to complete her experiment

also I was thinking about the cloning ep being set kinda earlier in this universe, so that would have happened pre-upgrade, but the idea of there being a cyborg clone made later is super cool, and then we could get a clone centric episode where the other clones try to convince this newer more dangerous clone to join their family, and yes him becoming the sweetest, nicest clone is *mwah* perfection

that ep could pave the way and maybe even foreshadow Maddie's eventual experimentations on Danny himself

and the repercussions on Val oooooof, she would feel so guilty, she would feel so much like she let him down and she couldn't save him from becoming something he never wanted to be and now it's getting to a point where it'll be too late for him to get back to normal

and since we've established in a previous post that Vlad knows about Danny, he could even play as Danny's one guiding light, warning him that if he keeps doing this he won't be able to turn back, and his interactions with Danny could give us some insight to what's going on in Danny's head, he's trying so hard to point Danny away from all this while his own mother is more subtly encouraging him and pushing him in the other direction, like a shoulder angel/shoulder devil kinda thing

these are some great ideas thank you for sharing! ❤️❤️

[ellewriteswrongs]

layers of love - prinxiety

1.8k words

ao3 / ko-fi / previous work

summary: self-indulgent fluffy prinxiety, very domestic, some shrek references, y'all know the drill

cw: mild swearing, slight innuendo/suggestive dialogue

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Virgil asked from where he laid against his boyfriend’s chest. Roman’s hand stilled as he played with Virgil’s hair.

“Hmm?” He hummed, continuing to rock them with one leg hanging out of their shared hammock. “‘Course you can.”

Virgil made something akin to a purr as he laid in the sun, his hoodie discarded for once.

“When you first said you loved me…was it scary?”

Roman’s brow furrowed at the question, leaning back to try and see the other man’s face.

“Scary? I…I guess I don’t know. I think, in the moment, it just felt right,” he spoke with a soft smile, pausing only to plant a kiss on the other man’s forehead. “But ever since I realized it…every time I thought about saying it, I was terrified.”

When Virgil only shifted, tightening his grip around Roman’s waist, the latter continued.

“I was so worried you’d be freaked out and think I was moving too fast and the last thing I ever wanted was to scare you off, but I…” he trailed off, letting out an amused chuckle. “I was only ever afraid of losing you. Loving you has never scared me.”

Virgil hummed, leaning up to steal a lazy kiss from the corner of Roman’s lips.

“But what about all those stupid stories you like?” He smirked, folding his arms over Roman’s chest as he rested his chin on them. “Quite a bit of pressure there, Princey.”

Roman chuckled, twirling a particular strand of hair around his finger.

“Ahh yes, those stupid fairytales that you make me read to you all the time,” he teased, earning a playful slap on his shoulder. “I’ll have you know, I have more than enough understanding of when dramatic proclamations of my undying love are unwanted.”

Virgil just exhaled a short chuckle, reaching to pull Roman’s hand out of his hair and over to hold it against his cheek, first pressing a kiss into the palm.

“Isn’t that why it’s such a big deal though?” He mused, his eyes half-focused on the beach around them. “Like, isn’t the whole point of falling in love so that something changes once you say it? And…and nothing changed when we said it.”

Roman stiffed a little bit from under him. “Did you…want something to change?”

No. No, of course he didn’t. That was the best part about it.

He told Roman as such.

“I guess I just…always thought something would change, even if we didn’t really want it to,” he explained, closing his eyes as Roman started playing with his hair again. “But I like how we are. How we’ve always been.”

“How we’ve always been? I don’t know about you, stormcloud, but I think things have definitely changed for the better.”

Virgil huffed with a small smile.

“Alright, fine,” he said, his cheeks hot. “I’m glad we changed even if it was just a little.”

Roman chuckled, his chest vibrating comfortingly against Virgil’s head.

“Yeah, I think I like you a little bit more these days, sunshine.”

Virgil scoffed, jabbing Roman’s side with his elbow.

“Thanks, babe," he spoke teasingly. “What glowing praise."

Roman only wrapped both arms around him and squeezed tight, one hand cradling the back of his head and the other holding him by the waist.

"My darling dark and stormy knight,” Roman cooed dramatically, peppering kisses all over his face until the other started laughing. "The angel from my nightmares, oh how I adore you with everything I am."

Virgil smiled, his gaze soft and fond as he looked up at the man he loved.

"Mhm, that's more like it," he smirked, stealing a kiss. "I love you, dork."

Roman bent down to lean their foreheads together.

“What's with all the introspection, my love?"

"Good word, babe."

“Shut up, I'm just worried about you," Roman grumbled, tucking Virgil's head back under his chin.

"You're worried about me? Because I’m talking about being in love with you?" Virgil asked, taking one of Roman's hands to fiddle with his fingers.

"Well, you just don't...talk about it. We both don’t,” Roman explained, his voice vibrating through his chest. "And I'm glad we are, it's just...not what we do."

Virgil smiled, sighing contentedly.

"Nothing's wrong, I promise,” he assured him. "I guess I've just been thinking a lot lately."

"Oh wow, congrats," Roman teased with sarcastic claps.

“Shut up, oh my god,” Virgil complained, not even trying to hide his laughter. "I'm trying to be serious here."

"Alright, alright, I concede," Roman smiled, holding up his hands in mock surrender.

"I just kind of realized that I've been feeling different lately,” he started, causing Roman to immediately stiffen and lean back to see Virgil's face. Virgil smirked, rolling his eyes fondly. “I just told you nothing's wrong, chill babe."

"You telling me to chill out is quite ironic, methinks," Roman teased, relaxing back into the hammock. “It's not my fault you're rubbing off on me, Frank Fear-o.”

Virgil snorted a laugh at the nickname before he continued.

"Ever since we said it, I've just felt... better," he spoke, a soft smile on his face. "I don't even know how to explain it, it's just...better. I get headaches less, when I get anxious, it turns into panic attacks like half as much."

He paused as Roman's lips met his temple.

"And I think the strangest thing is," he spoke, propping himself up on his forearm to look down at his boyfriend

below him. “When you told me you loved me, I didn't doubt it for a second."

Roman gave a short, watery chuckle; his eyes tearing up just a little.

"Even just a year ago, I wouldn't've believed anybody who said that to me but you," he paused, reaching to squish Roman's cheeks with one hand until they both laughed. "I knew you'd never lie to me, but more than anything, I felt it."

He leaned in, intending to only steal a quick kiss before it swiftly escalated.

“Who knew you were such a sap?" Roman teased, breathing heavily as they eventually broke apart.

“Says you, Romeo."

“Oh, I wear that badge with pride, darling," he beamed. "According to Thomas' Twitter, I'm his 'simp' side."

Virgil snorted, laying back down as he leaned into Roman's shoulder.

"Okay, they're definitely right about that one,” he mumbled, ruffling the other’s curly hair affectionately. “I’ve got you wrapped around my finger and you can’t even deny it.”

Roman grabbed one of said fingers and brought it to his lips, planting a dramatic, drawn-out kiss with the most exaggerated noise he could.

“But of course!” He bellowed, earning a fond eye roll from his boyfriend. “For it is my only duty to bestow upon you all of the love one can possibly muster.”

Virgil quirked an eyebrow.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve got a few other duties, babe,” he challenged with a smirk. “Like maybe the concept pitch for the next scripted video that you haven’t done, or the notes for the editors, or the fact that Thomas hasn’t even picked up his ukulele since last year, or—“

“Okay! Okay, fine, I can’t devote my whole life to smothering you forever,” he agreed exasperatedly. “But if I could, I would.”

Virgil chuckled, folding his arms over Roman’s chest and resting his chin on top.

“Hmm, yeah I think I’d hate that.”

Roman gave an almost comical pout, pulling out the puppy dog eyes.

“Nope, absolutely not, you’re not getting me with that shit,” Virgil asserted, trying to maintain a firm tone as he came dangerously close to breaking into a smile. “Smother me twenty-four seven and I’ll dump you on the spot.”

Roman pulled a disbelieving face.

“You really think I’m buying that?” He smirked. “That you’d dump me for spoiling you absolutely rotten with my sweetness.”

He knew full well what he was doing.

“I need my space, princess,” he spoke, putting on a suave tone that he knew he wasn’t pulling off by the giggles that came from his boyfriend. “I gotta’ keep up the aesthetic.”

Roman brought Virgil’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

“Alright, alright, I respect the commitment,” he spoke, punctuated by kisses from Virgil’s hand up to his shoulder. “It’s so tragic that Mr. Misery Business would rather brood than swoon.”

“Who says I can’t have both?” He grinned. “I’m multi-faceted these days, babe. I have layers.”

Roman snorted a laugh, ducking his head right by Virgil’s ear.

“Layers,” he spoke with a heavy Scottish accent, his hands squeezing Virgil’s sides. “Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. We both have layers.”

“Oh my god,” Virgil cackled with laughter. “I hate it. I hate you, never speak to me again.”

Roman smirked, unfazed.

“But Virgil, that’s what friends do, they forgive each other.”

“One more word and you’re not getting any kisses for the rest of the week.”

“It’s already Friday.”

“Well, I don’t exactly want to punish myself in the process.”

Roman flushed a little at the rare admittance of affection.

“You think you couldn’t go a full week without any kisses?”

“I mean,” Virgil spoke, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t exactly want to find out.”

He answered with a chaste kiss to the other man’s temple. “I guess the world may never know.”

“If Logan were here right now, he’d probably try to get us to find out.”

“Well, then it’s a good thing I never listen to the ol’ poindexter anyways,” Roman grinned, quirking an eyebrow.

“Ahh, yes, my favorite thing about you,” Virgil teased with a sly smirk. “How you’d rather be eternally petty than have an ounce of rational thought in that pretty little head of yours.”

Roman gave an offended scoff.

“You know what, I’m just going to ignore everything you just said in favor of the fact that you called me pretty,” he defended with a humph.

“Oh, you like that?” Virgil continued teasing. “As if you don’t already know you're pretty.”

Roman feigned his innocence.

“I’m afraid I haven’t the slightest idea, darling. Perhaps you’ll have to enlighten me on what you find so appealing,” he drawled, his voice syrupy sweet in a way that would’ve made Virgil weak in the knees if they weren’t currently lying on top of each other. “My cute button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Maybe my taut, round buttocks?”

Virgil barked out a laugh, rolling his eyes with fond exasperation.

“Pull another Shrek quote out of that ass and I’ll see to it that you won’t be able to sit for a week—a full week.”

Roman froze, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Is…is that a threat or a promise?”

Virgil just groaned, shoving him until the hammock teetered and he panicked, clinging back onto the other man. “You’ve been spending too much time with your brother.”

“You may be right, but this is certainly more fun, I must admit,” he sighed happily.

“Just shut up and take a nap, princess.”

“As you wish, my love.”

[memecucker]

Tell me more of this Ice Cream Man comic. Comics have always seemed like a difficult medium for horror. So much of it relies on visuals, so a single weakness in the art can being down the whole story. Especially in modern comics where things may be handled by 2-4 people who don't always communicate with each other.

So I’ve only read four of the volumes currently out but if you want a stupidly simplified summary of the premise- The Ice Cream Man is a horror anthology series with mostly self-contained stories (youre still supposed to read in order and there are plenty of connections between stories but each issue is its own full narrative) wherein the eponymous Ice Cream Man (also known as Rick, because he’s also an actual ice cream truck driver) is a malevolent entity with near godlike powers who torments the inhabitants of a mid-sized town relentlessly. His overt participation in the stories varies greatly in that sometimes he seems to trap souls in a special version of Hell where they endure an endless loop of their most traumatic moments and sometimes he whispers to someone enough they become a murderer and sometimes he just outright kills someone.

But what makes the comic special imo (and I’m not gonna pretend to be an expert on horror comics) compared to lots of horror media I’ve seen recently is how the Ice Cream Man relishes in a very specific type of despair, he doesnt inflict terror on people rather he wants to see them crumble from the inside. So in the issue where he whispers to a girl and drives her to become a serial killer, the goal isnt to feed on the fear of her victims or something like that, rather the object was the emotions of her father and his simultaneous (and somewhat contradictory depending on how you view it) feelings of having lived a wasted life while also having boundless love for his daughter and to see how those pillars of the father’s psyche respond to the revelation of his daughter’s actions.

And I dont wanna spoil too many things but Issue #4 is one that seems to stay with a lot of people (so maybe think about checking it out if you want fresh eyes) and in that the first half of the narrative is a very human drama where you have this protag guy who goes to the funeral of his friend that had suddenly died of a disease and while at the funeral runs into his friend’s deadbeat dad (who had kept his distance during the actual ceremony out of guilt) and unwittingly ends up getting some drinks with the aforementioned deadbeat dad at the latter’s insistence. While having drinks protag guy (who is married with a pregnant wife) starts to loosen up about his feelings and asks the dad guy how he was able to leave his family while quickly mentioning that the question was not own of judgement but of understanding because protag guy has been feeling that between his boring job and his marriage and upcoming family life that his own life has been taken away from him and he’s just feeling incredibly empty and keeps thinking about how the dad abandoned his friend’s family many years ago and fantasizing about doing it himself. The dad then gives a recounting of what he did after he left and a pretty touching rebuttal to the friend entertaining similar ideas because they have a heart to heart where the dad talks more about how he basically had very similar feelings and that he thought leaving his family would bring him to a new world of possibilities when in fact the world is full of locked doors and abandoning his wife and child he hadn’t opened possibilities but shut off the most important one which was a relationship with his child. And like its all very sweet and touching and the protag has a change of heart and stuff but Rick the Ice Cream Man had yet to make his appearance yet and when he does its by revealing that he has captured the soul of the deceased friend and despite him being a perfectly innocent person subjects him to an eternity in hell cycling through various tortures before finally settling on one that was most ideal- to make him a little kid again and have to spend the rest of eternity reliving the singular moment his father had walked out of the family home for the last time over and over again with the feelings of trauma never lessening. Right after the living deadbeat dad had such a touching sequence of how deep his guilt is and how he wants to stop others from making the same mistake.

And if youre reading anything metaphorical about infliction of trauma in a general sense thats intended because something I really enjoy about the comic is the amount of symbolism that gradually unfolds. Like I wont be giving multiple examples of this but one quick one that doesnt involve much spoilers is how the Ice Cream Man is an ice cream man in the first place. Because what do people say to little kids that only want to eat ice cream? That its gonna rot their teeth. And Rick the Ice Cream Man wants to see people rot, whether the rot is from something “good” or “bad” doesnt matter because it can be jealousy or it can be compassion as long as they break and become covered with insects (which visually feature very heavily as well like this is not a comic for “maybe the curtain’s are just blue” types).

So yeah, I recommend it. Not every single story I’ve read is like what I described above. Like some stories have fantastical or historical settings and also some are “horror” in a very loose sense like Tale’s From the Crypt comics (which btw I’m certain Ice Cream Man is heavily inspired by also if you haven’t check out the original EC Comic’s Tales from the Crypt stories like you’ll be surprised how good the writing is considering its from the early 50s but those were pre-CCA and the CCA was an utter blight on creativity oh yeah this is supposed to be a parenthetical remark) in that its more “weird stuff happening” than something actually “horrifying” and some that I’d say are really more existential and maybe tragic than “horror” per se but yeah whatever memecucker reccomendation

[akatsuki-shin]

Review: Scum Villain’s Self-saving System (SVSSS)

Notes:

(Very) long post ahead

Contains spoiler

This is my personal review and does not represent the entire audience, you are free to agree or not agree with what I’ve written here

Feel free to reply/send me a message if there are things you want to discuss

Summary:

SVSSS tells the story of Shen Yuan, an avid web novel reader - particularly the stallion genre - who died suddenly from food-related incident after having just finished reading a famous (yet controversial) web-novel "Proud Immortal Demon Way".

Upon his wake, he discovered that he had been transmigrated into the world of that very novel, moreover into the body of the story's most-hated scum villain, Shen Qingqiu.

In his previous life, Shen Yuan had frequently criticized the "Proud Immortal Demon Way" and its author, "Airplane Shooting towards the Sky", for he found the web novel full of wasted potentials. Now having been sent to live in that novel's story, a mysterious system assigned him with a mission to fix the very plot he had been denouncing - and of course, to save himself from the tragic end of the original Shen Qingqiu, who was fated to be mutilated into a human stick by the story's protagonist, Luo Binghe, his own disciple.

STORY: 7/10

I personally have not read a lot of "isekai" stories. However, what makes SVSSS interesting to me, compared to most transmigration stories I've seen in the past, is because the main character was not thrown into a completely strange, unknown world, but rather into the universe of a novel he had been closely following up until the very last second of his life.

And what's more? He does not have complete freedom in modifying the story however he wants, but supervised by a mysterious system that will reward him for correct decisions, and punish him for wrong choices - with being deported to his original world as the ultimate punishment should his points fall below the set limit (a.k.a. he would really lose his life because he is already dead in his original world).

The fact that Shen Yuan, now living as Shen Qingqiu, possessing complete knowledge of the original story, yet still unable to foresee what butterfly effect his actions will cause to the plot and characters is perhaps the most appealing aspect of this novel.

Shen Qingqiu in his previous life was no different than us - a normal, modern young man from the 21st century. His thoughts and opinions on the situation, the way he reacts on certain matters, his internal monologues are all realistic and easily relatable. It feels as if I myself have partly become Shen Qingqiu, as well, looking at how the story progresses from a first person point of view, because if I were to be in his shoes, I would probably react in the exact same way as a modern person thrown into an ancient fantasy world.

Nevertheless, this "omniscient reader" point of view is not without a flaw. Although Shen Qingqiu himself is gradually blending in, accepting his new life in the ancient cultivation world and no longer seeing the other characters as mere "fictional characters", because his mindset is that of a modern man, I find it difficult for myself as the reader to perceive the world of SVSSS as an actual, stand-alone world. Until the very last page of the story, I still feel like I'm looking at a fictional world, feeling detached to the universe and characters because I'm not "living" in it.

Another aspect that I think could've been improved is the romance development between Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe. I have full confidence that post-story Shen Qingqiu loves Luo Binghe with all his heart, but I seriously have no idea when and how he reached that point.

In the first half of the story, upon having accepted his new life as Shen Qingqiu, his feeling towards Luo Binghe is more like fondness and endearment. Perhaps he does like the character Luo Binghe, and considering that he, along with the rest of the web novel's readers, hated the original Shen Qingqiu to the core, of course he wants to treat Luo Binghe and the other characters better (otherwise, how could he save himself from that nightmarish fate as a human stick).

Later on, he learns of his mistake, how he could've made better decisions, and tried to understand Luo Binghe better, redeeming himself. Perhaps his love towards Luo Binghe began to grow along this path, but I honestly don't see it being told to me, as the reader. All of a sudden he is willing enough to "offer" himself to calm the maddened Luo Binghe. He's been proclaiming himself as a straight man all this time and never once did I see him agreeing with himself that he is going to accept his feelings for Luo Binghe. When I read this later part, I feel like I've just jumped over a huge chunk of development. Because up until that point, Shen Qingqiu still only gives me the feeling of a teacher who adores and cares for a special disciple of his.

All in all, if I were to summarized the plot, I think SVSSS is an interesting, curious story. The fact that Shen Qingqiu was tasked to fix the original novel's flaws makes me want to continue reading for as long as I can. What change is he going to make? What effect will be caused and what chain of events will follow? Furthermore, if you're looking for comedy, then you've come to the right place. With an internet-literate modern man experiencing living in an ancient, fantasy novel, Shen Qingqiu's reactions will never be boring to see. Even the banters and exchanges between characters are so realistic to the point that it is almost possible to imagine them visually.

Also, BingQiu is cute, I take no criticism.

CHARACTERS: 6/10

The distribution of that overall score of "6" is actually as follows:

3 --> Shen Qingqiu

1 --> Shen Jiu

1 --> Luo Binghe + Yue Qingyuan

0.5 --> Liu Qingge

0.5 --> Everybody else

Notice that in the previous section, I barely talk about any other character than Shen Qingqiu? It's not just because he is the main character, but because the other characters are seriously that un-interesting. In fact, I regret to say that personally, I think the characters are this novel's weakest point.

Or to be more precise, the characters' depth.

Shen Qingqiu by himself is a great character. He is calm, logical, knows when and where to put his "omniscient reader" knowledge to good use. He is effortlessly hilarious even if he himself doesn't realize it, but at the same time, despite the mountain of curses he often uses, he is still a good person at heart. I think he is the sole reason that the story could remain interesting until the very end.

But sometimes he is a bit too ideal, almost always having the correct solution and/or countermeasure to every situation even if the plot has changed massively from the original web novel that he knows. Especially when it turns out that he has discovered a way to revive himself after self-destructing at Huayue City, it makes his initially heartbreaking sacrifice less......touching. Because it feels as if he's been scheming this to be freed from the current ordeal, maybe to escape the system, as well.

Furthermore, no matter how much of an expert he was of the "Proud Immortal Demon Way" universe, he still just passed away and was transmigrated into a foreign world. Although the system initially banned him from being OOC, other than some panicky internal monologue, there was almost no trace of him looking distraught when being faced with the unthinkable situation.

Plus, Shen Yuan was different from Airplane Shooting towards the Sky who, even if he were to return to his original world, would have nobody waiting for him. The description of his family was pretty clear. Not only he comes from a well-off household, his family seems to be quite a happy and harmonious one (especially how he used to dote on his younger sister). How come there is not one single moment when he thinks about the family he has left behind and simply carries on with his new life as if nothing happened?

Now Luo Binghe, the second main lead and the one paired with Shen Qingqiu.

Before he fell into the Eternal Abyss, his character actually seems pretty solid. But post-darkening, I don't know why I can't get a good grasp of his character.

The "clingy, crybaby boyfriend" aspect is pretty clear, no complaint there (although the moments of his crying feels too comical for me). Other than that, I don't really feel the "powerful Demon Lord" vibe from him.

Yes, there are descriptions of how powerful he is, how frightening he can be. But it's just not solid enough for me. I understand that he is supposed to be a character with unstable mental, but there are simply not enough part where he is shown to be a proper, powerful Demon Lord because he keeps breaking down each and every single time. The "glass heart maiden" aspect isn't bad, but when it's used in an overly comical way, the character simply loses the charm he's supposed to have.

Even Yue Qingyuan, who's only a minor character, had such a strong charm that slaps you with the biggest plot twist in the whole story when it was revealed (to us, the readers) who he actually is.

Ironically, the original Luo Binghe (Bing-ge) was able to present the character's true image and complexity even if he only appear in less than 10% of the entire story.

And even more ironically, the original Shen Qingqiu a.k.a. Shen Jiu, is probably the most complex character to have ever existed in there (and he only appears in, what, a couple of extra chapters).

(You know what? If MXTX just goes with the original Luo Binghe x Shen Qingqiu, including all of their complexity, I think the development, conflict, and resolution could've been more deep and complex - but yeah, it ain't gonna be "Scum Villain's Self Saving System)

Liu Qingge is okay and actually quite lovable. It's just that I feel it's too easy for him to appear anytime, anywhere there is a problem, as if he's some easy way out.

Other than those I've mentioned above, I literally don't have anything to comment on the other characters because... I don't even know if there's anything to comment. They really come and go just like that and leave no big impression on me.

TECHNICAL ASPECTS: 6/10

This here is basically just some technical things that were a bit unfortunate, because if only they were improved, the story could've been better.

1. The story is clearly written from Shen Qingqiu's point of view, but it will suddenly switch to Luo Binghe's inner thoughts every now and then, making it inconsistent.

2. Description of time and environment. Sometimes it's really difficult to tell in what kind of place the scene is happening, whether it was day or night, whether the characters still remain in the same place or have move elsewhere. Transition when switching locations is also not described enough.

3. As much as I love the story, I feel like it's progressing too fast without any significant crisis. It just ends like that with no massive ordeal or mystery to be solved. I think this is related to Shen Qingqiu's "omniscient reader" point of view because it makes me feel like "hmm yeah, it's just another part of the story, they're going to go through this just fine"

Still, I understand that this is MXTX's first novel. In fact, most of the aforementioned issues (including the characters) have undergone immense improvement in her second novel (MDZS), so I don't think I have anything to worry about.

OVERALL SCORE: 6.3/10

It's worth to read, really. If you just want to enjoy a cool, funny, and cute "isekai" story, I can definitely recommend this. But don't expect some deep philosophical shit, because half of this novel is made of shitpost (I shit you not).

Moral of the story though?

See how market demand kills content creators' freedom and creativity.

Airplane Shooting towards the Sky, the author of the controversial stallion "Proud Immortal Demon Way" literally told Shen Qingqiu at the final chapter of the main story:

He's actually written deep, aesthetic stories before, but they were all unpopular. Only when he wrote this harem novel full of fan-service - disregarding plot depth, plot holes, cheap characterizations - did he finally gain popularity and was able to obtain sufficient income to feed himself.

He was grateful to Shen Qingqiu for "messing" up the plot of his novel, changing it into how it is now, because it allows everything he originally wanted to write - but couldn't - to come true.

In previous chapters, he also said that he actually wanted to make the original Shen Qingqiu into a three-dimensional, more complex characters, but the netizens didn't appreciate it and were complaining instead. Hence he was forced to make the original Shen Qingqiu into a plain old scum villain with no redeeming quality at all - even though in his original script, this character has a complex background that causes his current known personality.

Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua might be talking about it in their usual, funny bantering, but who dares to say that this isn't an issue being faced by almost all content creators in the whole world?

How many content creators have been forced to sacrifice the creativity value and quality of their work in order to satisfy the taste of majority?

How many content creators have been made to revise their works by editors in order to fit into a certain agenda or market trend?

Unless you're a massively popular creator or a powerful individual, chances are you will never have the chance to create a content you truly want to make for a living.

In any case, there may be other authors who are better than MXTX in this world, but I love her works because despite the fictional content, the comedy, the silliness, etc, there are still at least one aspect that reflects the situation of the real, current world, and when you realize it, the realization can be quite a slap to the face like "hey, wait a minute, she's right you know?" See less

[papabirdurskeks]

I ask this both for Baron Dark, Ariandel and SkekSo !

Give me a character and I will answer: @ben-the-hyena

Oh boy a triple feature! :D Here we go, folks!

Under a read more cause its going to get long but each listed character will be split apart evenly!

First up is Baron Dark!

Why I like them: He is just bombastic in personality! He lives loud in his actions and words, participating in most of the action himself while also showing he is a threat and menacing altogether! I also like that he is one of the few villains that shows he cares for his crew as a “family” (at least for most part of the series before being overtaken with obsession to have power more on his own). Given the dynamic we are given from the show, its obvious he cares and treats them all on a level of respect as well, something so rare to see nowadays! And I also enjoyed that his reasons to take over and do the shit he did in the series, “Because I can!” is just as refreshing and fun to see in a villain too!  And again, his design is a top tier design I love overall! Its menacing, powerful, and outright amazing! Definitely adds to the character and how well he works in effect to keeping my attention! Like just look at that design! And his VA did a wonderful job of adding to that charm that is just delightful to see in his personality! Overall, he is totally a villain I would love to see more of in the future!

Why I don’t: I say my dislikes often fall on the usual tropes of a kid’s show of the 90s. He talks too much when he could be doing things himself and falls victim to the typical “I am too powerful” but doesn’t think of the obvious steps ahead that will be his downfall. But honestly, its so small I don’t find it jarring or that bad to be in the way! It was the 90s and aimed at kids at the time, so we can’t expect TOO much out of that xD

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Oh man, that’s a tough one cause every scene/episode Baron is in he totally slays it! Its either a tie from the first episode to the very last one cause the stakes of start and finish are so well done, I love it all! 

Favorite season/movie: Obviously, the TV series is the best version of him! The comics sucked and turned him too OOC from what was initially given! Like how does one go from point A to be Z so freaking fast? xD

Favorite line: “Because I can.” Yeah, not gonna lie this was indeed my favorite line of his xD

Favorite outfit: Honestly, the outfit he gains near the end of the series is by far my favorite! Its like a mix of the Bejeweled Catacomb Saints and Mictlantechutli put in one and its befitting of the Baron given his gain in power! 

OTP: Baron and Cyborn are my OTP and are married, fight me. 

Brotp: Definitely Brotps with the rest of his henchmen though I see them more being like his adoptive children! 

Head Canon: Baron is of indigenous background! I also like to headcanon that the white tuft/strands in his hair are truly his and have been there since birth!  (I have so many more HCs for him but I will keep it short cause it can go all day x’) )

Unpopular opinion: Don’t think I have one, at the moment at least. 

A wish: To have gotten more information/lore on him and the entire cast, honestly! I would have loved to see more of his character explored and what more he could have had to offer as a series main villain! Hell, the whole damn series had so much to offer! And just the relationships he has with the others and what more he could have done post season and before! So much potential there to be explored! I honestly would not be objecting to a reboot/revival or continuation of the series! 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Though with that said, if a reboot does come around, don’t turn it into the mess of current cartoons we have. Not that they are all bad but most of them have been very disappointing in keeping my attention and liking. Keep the same type of messages it had before! It worked beautifully as it did then and still does work now! I’d love to see the same formulas used while also updating it to be more gritty and mature like they did for Castlevania! Just... Don’t turn it into a cringe worthy mess that will ruin Baron and all the characters in the series! Don’t do what the comics did! 

5 words to best describe them: Charmingly evil, badass, fun, conniving bastard, and menacing. 

My nickname for them: Mega dork (affectionately speaking)

Next is Ariandel!

Why I like them: Oh boy, there is a lot to say in terms of why I like him but I will try to keep it short and simple for time purposes!  His design is top tier for me! Like a rotting skull like face? Check! A monstrous body much like a bird’s? Check! And to add he is a giant Corvian, which are one of my favorite enemies in Dark Souls III!  His personality also differs from the usual loud, bombastic, and proud characters I tend to gravitate for. Instead, he’s withdrawn and rather sad to look at and hear. You know he’s going through a lot but don’t know exactly what it is. In game, one can sort of get hints as to what has gone on behind the scenes but at the same time, its still vague and hard to really pinpoint what really did happen. So he has that air of mystery to him that I honestly adore in many characters as it leaves room to explore deeper into their lore! But I also find his personality relatable as well as sympathetic.  But that’s just me, I can gush about him all day but I will cut it short here x’)

Why I don’t: To be honest I don't have any reason not to like Ariandel other then the small fact that he followed Friede and let the Painted World rot in such a terrible state. But that is so minor of an issue to me to really make a difference, lol. I adore this giant bird man!

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I have to say the scene where he ultimately snaps and breaks out of binds after seeing Friede's lifeless body before him is my favorite scene of his. The amount of pain and anguish heard in his scream and the way he moves prior and after; I can very much relate to that feeling. Sometimes, actions truly convey the emotions better in the most powerful means necessary. And this scene alone truly nailed it.

Favorite season/movie: He's only ever seen in the Dark Souls III DLC, so obvious answer points to the DLC!

Favorite line: "When the Ashes are two, a flame alighteth. Thou'rt Ash, and fire befits thee, of course..."

Favorite outfit: Uhh, he doesn't really wear any clothes save for his cape? So I guess the cape does him well as he is, though I always draw him without it xD

OTP: To be honest, I don't ship him with any canon characters within Dark Souls. Friede does not deserve him..

Brotp: Ariandel being best friends with the Ashen One is my ultimate Brotp! Just think of how much of a valuable ally he could have been!

Head Canon: I know his origins are debatable, as either theory I have for him can be plausible but I often lean more towards the idea of him being half Giant and half Corvian! IDK why but I just like it a lot more x’)

Unpopular opinion: While Ariandel is partly responsible for what happened to the Painted World, I still feel he was manipulated overall and probably at one point did have a change of heart before being forced into complete isolation. He plays more the role of the willing/unwilling accomplice then the actual perpetrator of the crime.  

A wish: He could have had a happier ending without having to die for Friede. I know, its Dark Souls. Such a thing is expected to happen in the Soulsborne series but its a wish, right? 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: That anything beyond the infatuation he had for Friede took place. Just.. No. He loved her but never could ever have her in that sense and never did. Just no, she is horrible to him. 

5 words to best describe them: Sad, lonely, birdman, withdrawn, and tragic

My nickname for them: Papa bird

And lastly for skekSo!

Why I like them: I think its as obvious as the case for Baron Dark. I like evil, smug bastards that shine through their wickedness and don't usually hold back. In the case of skekSo, I actually didn't care for him at first but then after my second viewing of the show, I started to like him more and enjoy his villainy! He's selfish, arrogant, vain, and conniving and I love it! Added that his design is really appealing to the eye and how he carries himself out, I gotta say he's one of the few villain characters from a show that makes the turn around for me to like them instead of hate them more. Also, his voice. Can NOT go wrong with that voice cause DAMN, its good and shows just how powerful a villain can be with a voice like his. And those eyes. Oh man, those eyes!

Why I don’t: Despite his villainy being the main point that caught my attention, its also a part of his downfall too. His constant greed and arrogance pushed him too far into doing what he did and ultimately cost him everything in the end; including loyal allies that end up dying for him in the long run. I hate how easily and quickly he changes his mind when actual logic is put into perspective of his plans and how quick he is to dismiss someone else when they don't please him anymore or things don't go his way for the smallest things. And yes, that is part of his character, I know that. That is what makes him as scummy as he is and why I love how trashy he is. But I also can't ignore just how easily he pushed skekVar away and believed skekSil despite knowing just what a lying bastard he is. IDK, it just feels too obvious but at the same time, it is what it is and I am not upset about it in the least x)

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Honestly, I enjoyed all the scenes with him in the show but mostly in particular with his interactions with skekVar, especially towards the end of the series. It showed a peak part of his vulnerability in his character that honestly I doubt he ever shows to anyone else. He spends most of his time pushing others around and making them fear him but with skekVar there is a sort of mutual respect going that really speaks out in a different way. Maybe I am just reading too much into it, but I always did enjoy how they interacted with one another!

Favorite season/movie: Well, skekSo didn't get much screen time in the movie other then him dying and turning to dust so.... Definitely enjoyed him more in the show then the film xD

Favorite line: "NOOOOO!" (Yes, this scene is still very infamous to me for personal reasons but the way he carried out his "no's" cracked me up each time xD)

Favorite outfit: Honestly, the main outfit he wore throughout the show. It's just so regal and goth, I love it! And as a goth and fashion enthusiast myself, I am all up for the style he has! The battle armor he wore near the end made it a tad more laughable to be honest.

OTP: I started shipping him with skekVar but ended up with an OT3 of skekVar and skekZok. So now all three of them live in a happy relationship with each other in my noodle~

Brotp: I see him being on neutral terms with skekMal! 

Head Canon: I feel that even in the show it wasn’t seen or given, but he did feel a lot of remorse and regret after the loss of skekVar. He seemed very close with him and spoke with skekVar with more trust then he did the others. Perhaps in secret he did mourn the General’s loss. 

Unpopular opinion: Does this count as an unpopular opinion? I know most people see him with just a few strands of hair but I tend to see him with a head full of long flowing white locks he keeps hidden beneath his clothes. It adds to the extra layer of vanity for a proud Emperor such as he! He looses it over time the darkening consumes him and withers down his health. 

A wish: To see what he was like as an urSkek prior to being split up into a Skeksis and urRu. Yeah, I know people don't care or like the urSkeks all that much but honestly, I would LOVE to see more urSkek lore and see what it was that made SoSu so special among his peers. It was said, after all, he had a voice that could move the stars but was conflicted and consumed with darkness. Honestly, I want to know why and who he was prior to all of this mess! SkekSo even says in the show he still has nightmares of the life before so I wonder, what they were and how it was! So much potential here, man!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I don’t think I have any of these to be honest? At least with skekSo. Not that I can think of on top of my head now. 

5 words to best describe them: Proud, absolute piece of shit, pretty, conniving, and menacing. 

My nickname for them: Stupid idiot

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

i’m an idiot. i screw everything up.

Titans 3.03

still here, still doing this. these reviews take a fair bit of time that i cobble together across days (like, ten minute chunks during breaks, etc) and i tend to struggle to keep up with episodes as they come out. this means that by the time i’m done with one, most of my stuff is jossed (or geoffed in this case? idk) or outdated and the post sinks like a stone into oblivion. so! i’m going to change things up a bit with this one and write as i see the episode rather than collecting my thoughts later. in my experience with spn, that was a faster way to get them done. 

anyway. let’s see how it goes! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS ahead.

1. an auspicious start with some grave-digging!

digging up a grave and breaking open a coffin is some serious, back-breaking work--that dick did it on his own, likely straight after that fight with red hood, is a testament to the sheer intensity, stamina and discipline that he’s capable of. like, we like to joke about dick cooking cauliflower crust pizzas and making gar and rachel spar and memorise sun tzu--and despair at the obvious consequences of some of bruce’s parenting skills--but imagine crime-fighting almost daily without any superpowers, performing some of the most intense parkour in bulky, uncomfortable armour, doing detective work, pushing through every last barrier of exhaustion and then getting up to repeat it all over again the next day. dick probably thought he was going extra-easy on rachel and gar.

1.5. then again, dick probably had a hundred different easier ways to confirm whether jason was still buried or not, from using equipment to merely asking connor to have a quick look with his x-ray vision. but, no, he’s too caught up in confusion and terror, not really having come to terms with jason’s death in the first place, leave alone the possibility that he could be alive after all. he can’t possibly let the others know until he’s confirmed it himself, even if it means digging all through the night until his arms are jelly, thinking over and over again about jason’s eyes, jason’s voice, from behind that red mask. 

... besides, dick has good reason to believe that he could’ve been hallucinating. wouldn’t be his first psychotic episode, after all.

that just imbues this sweaty, desperate, fingers-scrabbling-in-gravedirt scene with that much more poignancy, and a fair bit of bone-chilling terror. dick is horrified to realise that jason’s grave is empty, but a part of him is also probably relieved.

1.75 (... also it’s curious that we’re never shown any of the team asking to see jason’s grave after they come to wayne manor. i guess it’s because the writers--and the audience--know that jason is actually alive, but these people don’t know that. i don’t know if it’s sad or infuriating or both that they’re barely shown mourning him.)

2. oh GOD the sheer TENSION in kory saying, “i don’t want to say it, but--” and dick quickly interrupting, “it was jason. i saw him,” and hank giving him this loaded sidelong glance. i love how dick’s precarious mental health from last season is still this big elephant in the room but at least nobody’s blowing up in his face and questioning his every decision yet

2.25. i love the relative matter-of-factness with which they’re discussing a possible resurrection. and, of course, ra’s al ghul is brought up and quickly dismissed

(still wouldn’t put it past this show to bring him up at the very last second as the real real mastermind)

2.5. “maybe they can bring donna back” OH KORY

2.75. didn’t they have this same conversation about killing/not killing rose last season? man, the og titans make me tired.

and i don’t know if it’s just hank, but there’s a definite in-group/out-group vibe going on with the og titans, where they’re not only ready to consider killing anybody who threatens the group but makes it difficult for new people to fit in. donna and kory got along well with each other, but the dynamics between hank/donna/dawn and gar/rachel/rose were somewhat strained, and with jason, they were really fucking terrible. it makes sense when you think about how the titans started and how they broke up the first time--both were fairly disruptive events, i’d imagine, in that they probably got together to break away from their mentors and strike out on their own, and when they split up, it was the first time they felt directly responsible for the loss of an innocent life.

but the titans that dick is leading now is explicitly about mentoring a young generation of heroes, about second chances and found family. dick definitely wants to reach out to him first, and i have a feeling he’s going to be forced to make some sort of terrible Choice later on in this episode. 

2.8. (honestly tho, this also seems like hank struggling with his own guilt re: jason; if red hood is not the kid that he failed, it’d be easier to fight him.)

3.

HANK NO

4. honestly this season is already ticking off so many things on my wishlist, but i really wish dick would sit down with the newer members of his team and trust them with important information the same time that he’s telling them to the other members. gar searching for help and reassurance from a man who just dumped all of his responsibilities on his son overnight and went AWOL is a sad sight

4.25. has it only been just 48 hours????? wow! jason’s definitely been planning the red hood gig for a long time now...

5. ezekiel, my man! shady looking guy gets into your cab without a destination in mind... no problem, get right in! said guy gets a call to go to the observatory when he’s barely even looked out of the window so far at gotham... yep, a damn tourist! i want more ezekiel in this show.

5.25. (of course jason has upturned table lamps all along the floor... we have to *gritted teeth* balance the TEAL with the ORANGE don’t we?)

5.5. “dick’s a fucking psycho--he could be following you right now.” hank... has no objection to that lol

5.25. hank, hank... this is bad-decision-palooza. i can’t imagine that hank actually thought that jason was reaching out to him for help, given that the last time hank and jason had any substantial interaction hank had been one of the people accusing jason of sabotaging the team. but for him to go seek out jason and go along with his demands without any backup, weapons or equipment? not the best idea he’s ever come up with.

(add to that getting into the swimming pool of a condemned gym... oh yuck.)

((yes, i have enough self-restraint to not cap his ass.))

(((cap his ass! HA!)))

5.5. do you think jason has bugs/monitoring equipment planted in wayne manor to monitor the titans, or remote access to the cave’s systems? wouldn’t put it past him.

6. oh man, hank came back before dick and the others could meet ezekiel! this is TRAGIC

6.25. i mean, it’s plot-convenient that connor was able to give so much information about the bomb from just looking at it once, but i also like to think it’s the luthor-side of him coming to the fore. it also reminds me of that (in)famous scene from the new52 run of Nightwing comics, where a bomb was attached to nightwing’s heart and luthor disabled it by killing nightwing (temporarily). it’s a neat little callback. 

6.55. “where i come from, you go after family? there’s no mercy.” BUT THAT’S THE PROBLEM ISN’T IT

6.75. i mean, dick’s making sense: this is a game, and they need to get it off playing out on jason’s terms. but having a member of his team in his face, doubting his reasoning and every decision? a very familiar sight. 

6.8. krypto with an a+ sense of humour? also a very familiar sight.

7. wayne enterprises... providing the military with... bombs that can be implanted in humans? a BIIIIG yikes. i guess it’s not too many steps above developing clandestine intra-dermal trackers and implanting them in your own sons, and bruce probably thought they could be used as part of negotiation tactics, but still... YIKES.

7.5. on the other hand, conner being asked to build a deactivation advice seems part of a growth arc that started from last season... he knows so much, but part of growing is learning, and part of learning is using what you know to create something new.

8. oh man, my heart broke at hank going “i’m an idiot... i screw everything up.” like. for him to go like this, after being brought down to such a low last season? struggling with pain and addiction and his relationship with the love of his life? it’s so sad.

9. oh, oh, oh! ronnie from schitt’s creek! i love her!

9.5. “one of jason’s minions” took his body out of the morgue... how deliciously morbid that he planned out his own death like this!

10. TALK TO HANK, DICK

honestly, tho, i’m quite impressed with dick here. trying to think beyond just the most alarming part of the crisis at hand, keeping his cool, delegating tasks, frequently touching base with different members of his team... well done. 

10.25.... whoops, spoke too soon. i’m genuinely confused here, tho. where did the van full of gold bars come from? why did they stop there and get out? how did dawn even know about this?

on the other hand, it’s cool to know dove has bulletproof feathers!

10.5. eh... curran walters isn’t really selling red hood’s menace to me so far. but then again, if titans version of red hood is vulnerable-kid-with-father-issues-trying-to-overcompensate, then yeah! yeah, it makes sense. 

11. “when bats have sex, they gotta have something to hang from” OH GOD HANK

... because i want smiley!gar on my blog :)

11.5. awww. i feel sorry for hank but NONE of these fuckers deserve gar except maybe kory

12. ohhh FUCK! look at jason being exactly one step ahead of the titans at every turn. nice.

no really, i love the building stakes and the building mystery - i feel like the deathstroke arc from last season should’ve been more like this. the flashbacks about jericho and rose came too late and after too much build up, which resulted in a very underwhelming and confusing season throughline.

13. HANK AND DIIIIIICCCKKK

“you’re doing your best by me. always have.” WAILING HERE

it also kills me to think that hank thinks that his imminent death is because of his failure to keep the team together (when he was clearly struggling with his own issues and was spiralling towards rock-bottom) and his fear that he will once again be the cause of the team falling apart. 

also:

14. “i grew up... you can, too. you just have to face your fear.”

yep, got scarecrow’s grubby little fingerprints aaaaalllll over this. 

14.25. nightwing’s got specialised batarangs! yay! (somehow i can’t see this universe’s dick calling them “wingdings”)

15. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh man, that was devastating. well done, show. fuck, well done, jason.

this is going to bring up all sorts of “if onlys” for the team. i can’t wait for some fucking aftermath. 

[katara0524]

Impromptu Ramblings about the NEO:TWEWY Demo

In case y'all weren't aware, I've been a pretty big fan of TWEWY for a couple years now, and with the sequel coming out next month, the excitement I feel for this game is greater than ever :) I played the Demo for the first time yesterday, and following a couple views of some livestreams of others playing it, I felt like sharing my (very ramble-y) thoughts prior to the release of the full game. This post WILL contain spoilers for both TWEWY and NEO:TWEWY, so if you want to avoid those from now on, please block the tags: #twewy spoilers, #ntwewy spoilers, #neo twewy spoilers, #ntwewy, and #neo twewy ^_^ Oh, and if you wanna keep up with any other posts I make about my experience with this game, please refer to the tag "kat plays neo twewy" :)

-First things first: I have not watched the Final Trailer and I don't plan on doing so to avoid spoilers, especially after the pre-release era of KH3 where a lot of the later trailers spoiled a lot of the endgame content. That being said, I've seen some minor screenshots from the final trailer including what many believe to be characters from the original TWEWY, namely Shiki and Joshua. That is all I know about the Final Trailer and I would very much like to remain as blind as possible going into NEO :)

-The very first cutscene was quite ominous in the sense that this game is likely going to be about "changing fate" (a recently common theme in Squeenix games, which I do appreciate), perhaps leading off from the end of A New Day in the OG and trying to stop an Inversion of Shibuya. Also worth noting that A New Day had similar aspects in which the main character experienced "future visions" of tragic events, although in A New Day these events were not able to be changed, while in NEO it seems like one of the main "powers" our protagonist has is specifically to rewrite these events and avoid a "bad ending." Very interesting indeed!

-I really like the revamped comic book style dialogue scenes, it's much more fluid and modern, which is an excellent direction for the series to take!

-I would love to have an actual PokemonGO knockoff of Final Fantasy creatures, please Squeenix that would be incredibleeeeee

-Also the LINE stickers??? Are so cute???

-I would just like to point out that Fret is an absolute treasure throughout this entire demo, he's hilarious and I will protect him with my life

-UHHHH don't like that Fret picked up some Reaper Pins just out of nowhere.....or the fact that they're apparently popular all over Shibuya.............did y'all not learn anything from the OG game or what lmao

-Okay so when I first got the "curry or ramen" scene and heard NPCs talking about the new curry place replacing the old ramen place I became IMMENSELY distressed that Ramen Don was totally cut from the game because....well, Ramen Don is a King okay?? But I'm glad to learn that no, he didn't fall off the face of the earth, he's still in business and he's the one opening the curry restaurant lolol. PHEW, crisis averted!

-.....I don't like the sudden appearance of a Wall Reaper and being able to read NPC thoughts. Wtf happened when they left the ramen place??? Are they playing the Game alive somehow?

-Okay so I have my own theories about this "Swallow" character and what they're up to but considering this is only the Demo and I still Have No Idea What's Happening, I'm just gonna say that I think Swallow intentionally led Rindo and Fret to the Crossing so they could join the Game. I mean, add in the fact that Swallow still communicates with Rindo during the Game and you've got yourself a suspicious character right there lol

-"Hey they're shooting off fireworks!" Fret honey that's not fireworks oof (see also: "*laughs* I'm in danger")

-WOOOOOO way to traumatize Rindo right off the bat like that LMAOO

-The visuals for the intro are VERY GOOD, the song is pretty decent until it gets all "screamo" (which I absolutely cannot stand sorry lol)

-Shoka is every Customer Service employee ever and I respect that

-Susukichi went from being "meh" to "WOW THIS GUY IS FUN" in the span of 10 seconds and I also respect that (he is also built like an Absolute Unit which is hilarious)

-The Wall Reapers (and just Reapers in general) seem.....way nicer and more helpful this time around?? Like in the OG the Wall Reapers were SO RUDE gfhjgjdfkhn and yeah I'm sure we'll get some like that but the juxtaposition of the first Wall Reaper in the OG compared to the first one in NEO is insane.

-The puzzles are quite a bit more entertaining this time around even if it's generally the same "fetch quest" formula lol

-"Rindo's Group" way to go Fret HFKJDGHSDFKJ mans really left the default name in there lmao

-OKAYOKAYOKAY so to those who aren't aware I am a MASSIVE SIMP for Sho Minamimoto, he's my absolute favorite and I think about him daily. HIS INTRODUCTION IS. INCREDIBLE. I LOVE IT SM.

-GOD hearing him actually SPEAK FULL SENTENCES is just SO SURREAL I love this sm

-Also the remix of his theme???? NEO TRANSFORMATION????? IT'S SO GOOD????????? It's like gone from a Boss Theme to a more triumphant sounding theme and I am HERE for it (every version of Transformation is just INCREDIBLE and getting a new one is even better)

-I Love Him, Your Honor

-Also idk how exactly but it's kinda weird seeing Sho in the OG vs NEO, cuz while he's mostly the same Insane Math-Obsessed Catboy, he's.....calmed down quite a bit?? Like OG made a whole point of how poorly he cooperates with others (not to mention just being completely unhinged and trying to kill everyone), whereas here in NEO he's......actually kinda working with others??? HELLO???? Sir what happened to you and Neku during those 3 years I would love to know all about it

-I guarantee you Sho is still probably scheming shite and will likely pull some total insane BS later down the road, and I am very much looking forward to that. Also, is he looking for a certain Pin or something??? Cuz he keeps talking about different Pins and even mentions "this is just another Psych Pin" like he's actively looking for a Pin to do something with. Maybe it also has to do with the "latent powers of Players" thing he mentioned as well??? What is this dude UP TO oml (also is he in contact with Neku at all?? they're both technically fugitives at this point right?? WHAT HAPPENED AFTER A NEW DAY I AM BEGGING YOU)

-I seems like Sho ALSO has an idea of what's going on in this specific game (even if he won't admit it straightforward). Per his quote "The game's 142,857. Factor it out," he's essentially saying, "This game is a neverending cyle, figure out how to get out of it" (or at least that's what I got from his "cyclic number" nonsense lolol)

-I do like how Sho mostly stays out of sight until he's needed for a battle or assisting with a mission, that's kind of on par with his whole "uncooperative" quirk from the OG, plus he might literally have to stay out of sight of other Reapers and Players considering he's likely breaking the rules of the Game (not surprising considering him and Neku broke practically every rule in the book during OG)

-The nicknames for Sho- I can't- They're so FUNNYYYY GFHJSDFKJ

-He goes from being called "Pi-Face" and "Tabooty" in OG to "Mr. Minami" and "M-Teezy" in NEO LMAOO

-(Wowee I just realized I've been mostly talking about Sho oopsies sorry y'all, this is what I meant by thinking about him almost daily he is THAT much of a fav of mine ghfkjsd)

-Okay RIP Fret and Rindo for not getting literally ANY explanation as to how the Game works OOF, that is kinda cringe that whoever gets the Pin earns points, not whoever erases the Noise (which like I understand but also URRRGGHHH I WANNA SEE THE SQUAD SUCCEED)

-"I should be going home now it's getting late" Oh you sweet summer child-

-Also love the mention of parents in this game???? KH you could learn a thing or two from TWEWY (poor Rindo's mom fhgjkdh)

-KUBO IS HILARIOUS I SUPPORT HIM AND HIS GROSS FACE (also thank you Final Trailer thumbnail for spoiling my suspicions about him very cool smh)

-Kaie is a LAD I also support him, go King type those funky texts I believe in you

-FRET PLS STOP SCANNING FHGJKSDHKJFGHFKJ he's like me when I scan in OG during Weeks 2 and 3 and see Taboo Noise coming after me ghfjdshfj

-Also Rindo can you stay off your phone for TWO SECONDS ik you're trying to figure things out but Fret is a jelly boi and I don't want him to be upset with you my guy

-Sho being an actual sorta mentor to the kiddos?? Who are you sir this is so unlike you ghfgskj what happened to the guy who tried shooting children in the face 8 times over LMAO (granted he's probably just using them but it's still nice to see him actually cooperating and sharing knowledge with the kiddos aaaaa)

-EYO EIJI OJI THE TIKTOK INFLUENCER IS BACK LMAO

-hgjkfshgkjf "we aren't glorifying capitalism on my watch" THATS SO FUNNY TO ME GFHJFSDGHJKS (also an all-orange ensemble is disgusting you deserve jail for one thousand years fkn Cheddar Goldfish Cheezit ass woman)

-WICKED TWISTERS NAME DROP EYOOO we love to see it

-gfhsgjf Poor Rindo embarassing himself for the sake of the Game that's incredible

-R e t u r n t o M O N K E. That is all.

-Dialogue during boss battles is HELLA cool i love that

-HHHHH THE KANON SCENE MADE ME A N G E R Y FRET STOP SIMPING MY GUY says the girl with a Literal Simp Encyclopedia and simps for pixels on a screen daily

-Can't wait to see the other Reapers :eyes emoji:

-CAN'T WAIT TO SEE NAGI MY BELOVED YEAHHHH WOOOOOO AAAAND that's about it for the demo lolol, I absolutely CANNOT wait for next month, this game is gonna be INCREDIBLE holy hell Prepare for more simping, more screaming, and more vibing from Yours Truly :) I fully intend on sharing more general thoughts like this on both Tumblr and Twitter so it's not just reblog-retweet-reblog-retweet with the occasional comment fhgskjd

If you wanna witness my insanity up close and personal I have a Square Enix Discord server called Sea Side Dreamers! You can look it up on Disboard, or you can add me on Discord @Katara0524#9244 for a direct link :) We have topics about Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, NieR, and ofc TWEWY (as well as other topics!), so if you want some good ol' chaos and chitchat, you're more than welcome to join!

[stars-meets-the-sunlight]

hello, could you maybe write a henry x reader, where she feels sad and left out bc she sees the chemistry between the girls (anya&freya) and Henry? if you could make it angsty? thank you dear

A/N: Hi angel! Thank you for your request. I think I’m not so good with angst, but I really tried to do my best. Hope you like it ✨

Pairing: Henry Cavill x reader

Length: 1458

Warnings: angst

The rain falling that day was no joke and got you unprepared at all. Arriving at your office wet soaking was the more laborious thing you did in months, surprisingly there wasn’t a lot of work to do, just the normal amount of papers and scouldings from your pain-in-the-ass-boss.

Being an independent woman has it’s rollercoasters sometime, you were used to it.

The Witcher promotions started already, and you could not count on Henry for the weeks to come, and to be honest, being near to him these days were giving you a really weird feeling. You didn’t know if it was because of the long time he spent shooting the series that could’ve destabilized the relationship you two had. He have seen beautiful places in the world, met amazing people and had the company of two gorgeous women. 

That definitely wasn’t your common way of living life, more of a empty stomach all day because the caffeine had you without appetite or a long bath in almost scalding water because of your back pain, not so glamorous.

Henry was the renovation of your life when he got in, giving you a motive to laugh and would prepare a warm and delicious meal to heal your stomach and give you strength to overcome the back pain, as well massages or what he could do to help. When he left to do his work, you always felt like there was a hole in your life, something missing, so you had to adjust to your transient situation, ordering food when you got home because you had no vitality left to cook a proper homemade meal.

The insecurity you felt was gaining great proportions, and you knew it when you felt afraid of watching The Witcher. You knew that your heart would ache to see Henry having so much chemistry with Anya. Yeah, it was a silly thing to feel, but you could not help. How could you? You were the average woman that had no time to workout, that had no time to go to saloon to do your hair, the average woman that looked nothing like a model like figure. 

And the worst was to come, because in promotions the actors were all interacting with each other, and the fans would make assumptions of what was happening, was that a friendship? Or are they dating? They don’t really know. 

You couldn’t blame anyone for your insecurities, Henry never gave you reasons for that, Anya was only making her job, and afterwards the decision of not to be showed off as his girlfriend was yours, not his. 

You were happy for the success that The Witcher is making, of course, and proud of your man. Henry was just so… Too much to you. He’s handsome, talented, made awesome movies and you were just you. The bland and plain you. 

“Hello?” you said after answering the phone in your office. 

“Hello, babe. It’s Henry.” his voice was soft, and you could see his smile in your mind.

“Oh, hi babe.” you lowered your voice. “I wasn’t expecting you to call.”

“Yeah, neither I.” he laughed. “How is your day?”

“Do you want the standard answer or the real one?” 

“The real one, give it to me.”

“I’m feeling helplessly bad today, the rain started pouring and I arrived the office soaking wet. I’m tired, you know that.” you sighed, trying to not cry on the go.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, babe. I’m sorry that I can’t be with you right now.”

You laughed in self  consolation. “That’s ok, Henry. Why would you want to.” you snapped when realized what you had said. Oh no.

“What? Babe, what are you saying?” his voice was now really full of worry and you could feel it.

“I don’t know, Henry. I’m sorry.” you took a break. “You are so happy with your job, you have two beautiful women by your side, your fans... I don’t want to ruin your mood with my usual bullshit.” 

“y/n, don’t say it. I-” 

“That’s okay, babe. I’m okay.” you interrupted him. “I have a lot of work to do right now. I’m sorry.” you hung up the call. 

“Shit.” you whisper to yourself feeling guilty. Why you said those thing? He don’t even said something to bad or rude, he actually asked how was your day going.

That’s cool, you thought. You were feeling guilty, left out and sad. The best combination for a tough day.

-

“Hey, have you seen The Witcher?” your closest co-worker said bringing her chair near you, so she would be able to speak in a lower tone. It’ sarcastically and tragic funny how when you don’t want to talk about something, this is the only thing people around you could talk about. The success was undeniable. 

“Hm. Yes! I have.” you said clearly lying. 

“And had you watched that Comic-con’s interview with Henry Cavill, Freya Allan and Anya Chalotra?” They are fricking awesome.” she said so excited you had to fake a smile.

“Actually, no. How was that?” obviously you wouldn’t watch those interviews, that will not make you feel better at all.

“The chemistry! Ugh. The way they smile to each other, specially Henry and Anya.” she made a pause to take your clipper. “They are really good looking too. I don’t know what’s happening there, but if a couple forms,  they will be a hell of a gorgeous couple.”

“Wow.” you said faking a good reaction.

-

While you were opening the door, you could hear you favourite album of your favourite band playing in a volume not so low and not so high, and the smell of food made your poor stomach ache with hungry. Henry was home, his presence is so overpowering that you actually didn’t had to see him to feel him. 

When you were taking of your heels, he appeared, with impeccable figure, casual clothes, just his perfect self. Your first thought was more like a self conscious thought of how you were looking right now, you had no idea, and that made you shrink with all your insecurities coming to you all the same time. You were crying and didn’t even realized when it started, all you did was to cover you face your hands ashamed of the scene you were making.

Henry got shocked and hurried to embrace you in a tight hug. “Hey, what happened?” he asked kind of scared. “Hey, babe. Look at me, please.” the tone he used was almost begging, so you just took you hands away and looked to him, with a vision blurred. “Ok, that’s good. Now say what is making you cry.”

“It’s idiotic.” you took a deep breath and blew expiration, trying to recover. “You don’t need to hear my bullshit.”

“No, no, no. I need and I want to hear.” his hand were making a light caress in your back, just like it’s done when a baby just finished to eat.

“I’m insecure, ok?” you looked away. “I’m just a normal woman, I have no special treats like the women you are surrounded by. The way you and Anya get well along and stuff.” you could feel the tears falling down again. “I’m holding your life back, I know, I’m not enough to you, I will never be…” you were crying again, you felt so stupid for feeling like this.

“Oh, y/n, babe.” you felt his hand on the side of you face. “Don’t cry, I beg you, it hurts to my core.” he said kissing your forehead. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize how you were feeling, I’m sorry.” he said looking to you watering eyes. “How could you say that? Not enough? You are enough, you are who I love, who I want to spend my life with.” now he was wiping your tears with his thumbs. “Anya… it’s just a co-worker, a friend, yes we get along well, but it’s our work. You, y/n, are my babe, my lover.”

“You're sure?” you said sobbing a little, looking for a signal of falsehood in his face only finding pure love and worry.

“Yes, I am. Do you want to know a funny thing?” He said with a kind smile. “I’m insecure too. You think that leaving  you here alone it’s easy to me? I always have to deal with the feeling that I’m not enough to you.” he said and hugged you tight again. “I guess we need to speak more, holding things back it’s not good.”

“Totally.” you said felling a relieve so great and needed that you never know you needed. “I’m sorry for not seeing your side.”

“That’s okay.” he laughed a bit. “Can I have a kiss now?”

_________

Masterlist

[tanakavox]

"Rose luck, help me out for once...”

Zwei quietly muttered the words to himself as he played around with the raffle ticket he currently held in his hand. The number read 925, same as his birthday he couldn’t help but note before he let out an exasperated sigh. He had arrived a couple hours before the raffle actually began, hoping that by getting there early he’d increase his chances of winning by being one of the first people to grab a ticket. Unfortunately, that also meant he had to wait till the raffle draw actually began, and thus left the Corgi Faunus waiting on a nearby bench and utterly bored out of his mind.

‘I should have brought Rosie with me,’ he thought with a sigh. Having her around would not only make for better company than empty air, but also because she had far better luck at these kinds of things than he ever seemed to. From rigged carnie games, to crane games, to even contests and giveaways, Rosemary seemed to have been blessed by Lady Luck herself and was always winning something or other all the time. It was one of the very few things of his best friend and now lover that he had always been envious of, though that had mostly stemmed from his own lack of luck and how he always seemed to get the short end of the stick in regards to chance. Zwei’s inner musings were cut off as the raffle hostess, a dark skinned rabbit Faunus, came out to address the crowd, her voice being amplified by the microphone.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and those in between, we will now begin the raffle call! Three of you will be lucky enough to win a brand new Playstation five, so if your name is called please head to the office to collect your prize,” the hostess announced with a smile on her face, before she walked over to a box and pulled out a slip of paper. 

"First number is… 189!" 

Zwei mentally swore, doing his best to ignore the excited whoop that came from the crowd. He kept his calm, knowing that he still had a chance to win. The rabbit faunus smiled at the enthusiasm of the winer, before she pulled out another slip. 

"Second number is...616!" 

Another whoop emerged from the crowd, and the silver eyed Huntsman's heart began to beat loudly in his chest. His fists were clenched so tight that his knuckles had turned white, and a cold sweat had broken out over his neck.

“Please,” Zwei said to himself in a near whisper, his eyes closing as he sent a prayer to literally anyone who would listen, “Just let my luck hold out for once…”

The hostess let out another pleased smile, before she pulled out the final slip of paper, and thus the final winner.

 "And the third and final number is…925!”

Zwei’s eyes snapped open in disbelief, his jaw dropping at his incredible turn of luck. His shock quickly turned to glee, before he fistpumped and let out a loud, “HELL YEAH!” He quickly made a beeline to the office, eagerly awaiting to get his prize. After a short wait, the hostess came into the office to present the prizes to Zwei and the other two winners(Whom Zwei would later learn where both Huntsmen, but that was a story for another time).

Zwei had the biggest grin on his face as he walked out with a brand new Playstation Five, the elusive console that he had been on the hunt for nearly three days straight. It even came bundled with a copy of the new Spider Man and the Demon Souls Remake, which was an absolute steal!

"Rosie is never gonna believe I won this through a raffle,” Zwei chuckled to himself, imagining the look of disbelief on his lady's face, before he found his musing interrupted when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He looked down in confusion to see who it was, only to look on in annoyance at the women before him. She appeared to be a middle aged woman with an inverted bob cut, expensive winter clothing, and body language that basically screamed “ego.” Zwei knew without doubt that the woman in front of him was a, “Karen,” and that he had a strong inkling as to what she had approached him for.

"Excuse me,” the “Karen,” began, her shrill tone laced with condensation as she addressed the Huntsmen, “Do you think you would be willing to-”

“Nope.”

Zwei’s sudden interruption caught the Karen off guard. She looked shocked at having been so suddenly denied, while Zwei looked down upon her with a bored, almost uninterested look on his face.

“You don’t understand,” She tried again, this time with a more pleading tone, “But my baby-”

"Let me take a wild guess,” Zwei interrupted her in a bored tone, “your baby has some kind of incurable disease? Or maybe they lost a limb in a “tragic,” accident? Or some kind of other inane sob story that you’re trying to use to guilt trip me into giving up my recently acquired Playstation Five in my hands?”

Zwei had appeared to be right on the mark as the Karen’s jaw had practically merged with the floor from her ploy being easily discovered(and just as easily sunk), within a matter of seconds. Zwei couldn't help but scoff at her blatant attempt to try and swindle him out of the console in his hands.

“Yeah, I used to work retail lady, so I’ve heard every single sob story under the sun. So sorry to disappoint your “Baby,” but this thing is going straight under the tree and directly into the hands of my nephew come christmas morning. But uh, nice try though.”

Zwei then brushed past the women, not even bothering to acknowledge her any longer than he needed too as he made his way to the nearest exit. The Karen did not take the dismissive that well, her face flushed and angry red and her mouth contorted into an ugly grimace. She turned around and screamed at the top of her lungs, “IT'S BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT MY SON WON'T BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE THE JOY OF OPENING A PS5 ON CHRISTMAS DAY!"

"Why don’t you bitch to your whipped husband about it,” Zwei shouted over his shoulder, not even bothering to stop to address screaming women, “he's probably the only one who’s gonna give a shit lady." 

His response had served to antagonize the Karen even more, who began screaming and raving louder till the whole mall was practically echoing with her shrill voice. Zwei simply kept on walking, a smug smile on his face and a feeling of content at having managed to luck out on getting the gift he wanted for his Nephew. He had just exited the mall when he suddenly felt a force impact his head, causing him to stumble forward a little before he managed to keep his balance. He quickly did an about face to see what had caused the impact, before his eyes narrowed upon a relatively large man with an even larger sword on his back who had his hand balled into his fist.

It was obvious that the man sucker punched him, though it did very little to hurt Zwei and was really more of an annoyance. Despite this, Zwei’s training kicked in and he instantly began assessing the threat level of the huntsmen before him. Standing next to the man was the Karen who was screaming at him, who now had a smug smile on her face as if she had pulled out a trump card.

“Still think my baby isn’t worth handing over the console kid?”

“Couldn’t swindle it from me, and now you’re trying to take it by force,” Zwei asked, before giving her a look of mock shame, “tsk, tsk, someone is going on Santa’s naughty list.”

“Hand over the console kid, and I promise not to break too many bones in your body,” his attacker threatened in a booming voice, only causing Zwei to roll his eyes at the overused threat.

“I have a better idea: how about instead of getting into a fight you don’t want to start, you use the remaining two brain cells you have left in your tiny little head of yours to grab your snotty wife and get the hell out of my sight, before I end up shoving a lump of coal straight down your “stocking?”

The man did not take kindly to Zwei’s counter proposal, choosing instead to pull out the sword of his back and readying to attack Zwei. Zwei quickly, but gently, tossed the Playstation Five in his hands to the side, before bringing up one half of Red Daylight to block the oncoming blow. Zwei could feel the aura behind the man’s sword as it impacted upon the flat of his hookblade, but he easily deflected the attack to his side in an almost comical manner. 

Zwei blinked, before he looked over the man again as he lunged at Zwei, who merely side stepped his easily telegraphed attack. Upon further investigation, Zwei noticed that the man’s stance was sloppy and his defense was full of so many holes that even the most novice fighter could have taken him down. His sword strikes lacked fluidity to them, coming off more like the man was swinging a baseball bat around than a heavy sword. And while he clearly had his aura unlocked, he wasn’t properly distributing it throughout his body to make efficient use of it. Zwei deduced this in a manner of seconds, before he came to a sudden conclusion.

“...You’re not a huntsmen,” Zwei stated aloud, “you’re just some scrub that had his Aura unlocked and thought you could use it to bully people into submission!”

The “Scrub,” did not take kindly to Zwei’s revelation, his face contorted into an angry sneer before he made to swipe at Zwei again.

“You shut your damn mouth you filthy animal,” the Srub screamed in rage, “and give me that stupid console!”

Zwei once again merely stepped to the side, watching as his attacker overstepped his swing and ended up falling to the ground.

"Are you serious right now man,” Zwei asked in an incredulous tone, “do you even know how many laws you’re breaking right now from having your Aura unlocked? Let alone that you attacked me and started a fight in a public area full of civilians? Hell, what if I was a civilian?!”

The Scrub had managed to pick himself back up, before he sneered at Zwei’s questions.

"Then you would have died to make my son happy, animal,” the Scrub spat out hatefully, before readied himself for another attack. The Scrub barely had time to blink before he saw Zwei disappear and reappear instantly in front of him, not even having the time to react before the Corgi Faunus violently sunk his fist into the man's stomach. The results were instant: the Scrub dropped his sword as he violently began to retch and wheeze, falling to his knees as he desperately tried to keep himself from vomiting on the spot.

“You know,” Zwei began, “I was wrong about you and your wife. You two don’t don’t belong on Santa’s naughty list…”

Zwei then proceeded to grab the Scrub by his hair, before activating his semblance as he delivered a devastating knee strike to the man's face. His nose broke with a sickening crunch, and his face was practically covered with blood that leaked from his nostrils. 

“...YOU TWO BELONG ON HIS SHIT LIST!!!”

Zwei hooked Red Daylight into the Scrubs collar, before he activated his semblance and began spinning around as fast as he could, before unceremoniously pulling hard enough to tear through the Scrubs collar and sending him flying out into unknown parts of Vale, his landing destination unknown.

-At a familiar dumpster-

“Oh man,” groaned a miserable voice, “how… how long was I out for?”

The voice belonged to the would-be thief that Zwei had taken care of the day before, now finally waking up from his coma induced nap on top of his bed of trash. He groggily managed to push himself up, whimpering the whole time from how much pain his body was in from the beating he received before managing to push the dumpster lid open. He hung the top of his body over the side of the dumpster, doing his best to ignore not only the smell of the garbage around him but from the fact that he had garbage in places that were best not mentioned.

“Worked up the courage to steal that stupid thing, and what do I get for my troubles,” the theif whimpered to himself, “my shit kicked in by a Huntsmen, being bathed in garbage, and I didn’t even steal the right thing!” 

The thief let out another groan, before he looked up at the sky as if to mentally ask the Brother’s what he had done wrong.

“Can this get any worse?”

The man’s question was immediately answered by the sound of screaming getting closer and closer to him, before he felt the impact of an incredibly large man with an even larger sword knocking him back into the dumpster. The thief groaned in agony and tried to move, only to realize that he was now pinned under the large man, who was completely out cold and unmoving. The thief couldn’t do anything now, except blankly stare at the overcast sky.

“...Well, at least I have fresh air.”

The dumpster lid crashed down with a loud “THUMP,” once again trapping the Thief inside his rotten prison, muffling his sobs as he cried about what a rotten Christmas this was turning out to be.

-Back with Zwei-

“Brother’s what an asshole,” Zwei muttered to himself as he sheathed his weapon back with its sister blade. Zwei would have to make sure he made mention of the man to the local authorities, who would no doubt be sending a huntsman to apprehend the Scrub due to his illegally unlocked Aura. The thought of illegally unlocked Aura made Zwei briefly think of his brother in law for a moment, before he let it slip out of his mind.

“I wonder what Jaune got me for christmas this year,” he mused aloud, “Oh damn, maybe he got me Cyberpunk!” 

Zwei smiled at the thought, Jaune typically gifted him games for christmas so there was a good chance that he may very well be shooting gangbangers in Night City soon enough. His smile quickly turned into a smirk, before raising his voice and saying:

“And just where do you think you’re going, Karen?”

The Karen in question was currently in the middle of trying to sneak away with his Playstation Five, before she stopped dead in her tracks from being called out. She visibly flinched when Zwei had suddenly materialized in front of her, his smirk plastered on his face as his confident eyes met her terrified ones.

“How kind of you to hang onto my nephew's gift while I beat the hell out of your husband,” he thanked her in a mock cheerful tone, “and here I was thinking that you were just a rotten woman with no sense of manners whatsoever! Guess you have some christmas spirit in you, huh?”

The Karens face got redder and redder as Zwei kept speaking, before she opened her mouth to scream at him…

“Ahem.”

… before her mouth clicked shut, and she looked around to see that she and Zwei were surrounded by a large crowd of people, including the Raffle Hostess who had presented Zwei his prize. The fight must have caused them to all come to investigate, and judging by their angry looks, they must have seen everything that had occurred. The Karen’s face drained of all color, and she began sweating bullets as the Hostess began to address her

“Ma’am,” she calmly began, “I do believe that device in your hand belongs to this young man, whom I should add, rightfully won the device in the raffle and has the legal paperwork to back up the ownership of it as well.”

The Karen went to say something, only to be interrupted by the Hostess, who now had an ominous look on her face.

“I would highly advise handing said device over to its rightful owner, Ma’am,” the Hostess said curtly, “As I’d hate for the police to have to add stolen goods on top of all the other charges you’re more than likely going to face tonight.”

It was at this point That Karen had finally noticed that there were several police officers waiting nearby, more than likely called in due to the fight, all of them giving The Karen an unimpressed look. Knowing that there was no way out of this, The Karen’s shoulder slumped in defeat, before she turned back Zwei, who was watching The Karen getting a dose of Karma with uncontained glee. Gritting her teeth, she slowly, albeit reluctantly, handed the Playstation Five back to Zwei, who happily took his console, before bowing to her in a mock fashion.

“Thank you so much Karen,” Zwei cheerfully stated, “I’m glad to see that we were able to clear up this little misunderstanding. But now, I think it’s time we both go our separate ways, don’t you think?”

Zwei didn’t even bother to let The Karen speak, before he started walking away, stopping only momentarily to give the Hostess a quick appreciative nod, before he kept on walking. Just as he got near the _edge of the crowd, he paused, before he briefly turned around to see The Karenin the middle of being cuffed by the police.

“Oh, and Karen?”

The Karen looked over to Zwei, face flushed red in embarrassment and her eyes burning with rage as she locked eyes with the smug looking Corgi Faunus.

“Hope you and your baby have a Merry Christmas,” he said smugly, “because it looks like it’s going to be a long one for the both of you!”

That was all it took to send The Karen over the edge, before she once again started screaming and raving and wishing all kinds of unpleasant things upon Zwei, who merely hollered with laughter as he activated his semblance and began making his way back to the Bullhead Docks. Despite running into some bumps along the way, he had achieved his goal of getting his nephew the perfect gift, and now all that was left was to go home.

“Just you wait Xing, you’re about to get one HELL of a gift…”

@thatorigamiguy did the edita for this again. Thanks dude!