#the web has a favorite chew toy

[lady-bee-holmes]

Archivist Sasha au, but Jon is still the one who gets marked. He’s still him and applies his usual mix of curiosity, stubbornness, and idiocy to the role of assistant, and he will always play stupid games and will always win even stupider prizes

There’s no apocalypse (cause he isn’t the Archivist) and for the most part everyone lives, he’s just really unlucky and really bad at making decisions

[aurorawritestoescape]

SWEET CHERRY || Joel Miller x f!reader || 4,8k

Summary: Joel takes your virginity. Gently, slowly, talking you through it.

Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, fluff, pwp, big not specified legal age gap, virginity loss, insecure reader, soft!Joel, soft!dom vibes, praise kink, size kink, mirror sex, f/m oral, fingering, unprotected piv (wrap it up), creampie, aftercare. Pics are only for the mood, reader has no physical description.

A/n: here’s my first virginity loss fic, friends! Hope you will like it❤️ Joel whispers ‘thank you’ into @milla-frenchy ‘s ear for beta-ing😘 Dividers by @saradika-graphics 💕

MASTERLIST

Joel is waiting for you in his truck, parked a block away from your house. He told you once that you didn’t want anyone to see you with an old man like himself. You kissed his scruffy cheek that time and assured him that he wasn’t old. Yes, he was older than you, much much older but you were an adult, very mature for your age and also you didn’t care. You loved him.

Joel is a real man, not like the silly boys who always try to pick you up. He looks like a real man, with gray patches in his stubble, his tired piercing eyes and wrinkles around them that you love to kiss so much. His body, big and broad, can easily envelop you whole like a warm cloud. The cloud usually smells like cigarettes and whiskey but you tell yourself, "he smells like a real man," and when you nuzzle his neck, that scent alone makes you soak your panties.

You hop into his truck with the happiest smile on your face, excitement and nerves swirling in your stomach. You’re wearing a red lacy set to show him how mature you are underneath his favorite dress, white with little red cherries on it. Joel always compliments you when you wear it and makes sure to kiss every single cherry on your chest.

Today is the day Joel is going to pop your cherry. You’re going to lose your virginity to the love of your life.

Joel greets you with a soft kiss, and while you’re a little hazy from his taste in your mouth, he starts the car.

“Where are we going?” you ask but you don’t really care. You’d go anywhere with him.

“A motel, baby. Only the best for ya.”

You almost squeal at the idea of you two having a whole room to yourselves. You usually spend time in his truck or he drives you to the outskirts of the town, far from the prying eyes. You love it there— lying on the soft grass and stargazing with his strong arms wrapped around you.

Joel is a man and men have needs so you give him a handie now and then but he never makes you do anything you don’t want to. He’s a gentleman.

He’s getting a room while you’re waiting for him outside of the reception, nervously pacing a spot at the parking lot. What if you fuck up and he sees that you’re just a silly girl, too young for him? What if it hurts too much? You’ve practiced with a toy but you know he’s much bigger.

You’re chewing on your lower lip, widened eyes glued to the ground, and miss the moment when Joel comes up to you.

"Penny for your thoughts, sweetheart?" he cups your cheek, searching for your eyes, and you smile, enjoying the warmth of his giant palm in spite of the Texas sun, beating down on you both.

"Just a little nervous," you admit, looking up at his handsome face. Joel gives you an understanding smile and his gruff voice immediately calms you down when he says,

"Don't be, darlin’. I'll be gentle with you. And we can stop whenever you want."

“‘k,” you mumble with a nod and take a deep breath. You want it and you know, it will be perfect.

The motel room smells like cigarette smoke and old furniture but you don’t mind. You don’t care about its peeling off wallpaper, the flickering lights in the bathroom or the stained bedding with a pattern that looks like spider webs. You’re staring at it with disgust on your face, wondering who would choose such an ugly cover.

Two big hands on your hips bring you back from your thoughts and move you around. Joel locks eyes with you, his gaze piercing and curious.

“You’re so quiet today, babygirl. Sure you wanna do this?”

“Yes, Joel. Please,” you reply hastily, scared he’ll change his mind.

He gives you a little smile and pinches your chin between his thick fingers. His touch, his scent, his gaze, everything about him washes away your fears and worries. He’s huge and safe and you trust him to make this day special. For the both of you.

He leans down and kisses you, his lips warm and slightly chafed, his stubble and scruffy beard rubbing your sensitive skin but you’re enjoying him too much to notice. Like a little flower you are reaching up to your only sun - him. You’re drunk on the sensation of his tongue, licking assertively into your moaning mouth. Your pussy tingles and you feel yourself gush more and more. With Joel’s lips brushing the corner of your mouth you hear him whisper, “Ready, sweetheart?”

You nod, rubbing your cheek against his and then follow him to the bed, your little hand in his, giant, warm.

Joel sits down and you stand between his spread thighs. You nervously shift on your feet under his dark gaze as he looks you up and down and bucks his hips. His bulge is huge and you swallow loudly.

“Can I take your dress off, babygirl?”

With a quiet ‘yes’ you turn around so he could unzip you. You’re facing a mirror now, hanging on a wardrobe door, eyes locked with your reflection. Fear and anxiety paint your features so you take a deep breath again, not wanting to look like a scared little mouse. You want him to see you ready for what you two are about to do.

You giggle when Joel’s knuckles graze your soft skin, tickling you, gliding down along your back as your body erupts in goosebumps. Joel acknowledges your reaction with a soft chuckle and then his warm lips press to your exposed waist. You smile, helping him take your dress off.

“Fuck,” Joel mumbles as you turn around to face him, “I’m sorry, darlin’,” he apologises for the cursing as his obsidian eyes are gliding over your body, wrapped in the red lace as if you’re a present gifted to him. “You’re making my head spin. Are ya wearin’ it for me, baby?”

You reply with a shy ‘yes’ and he groans, palming himself.

“Naughty girl. Killing me over here,” he fake complains, wetting his lower lip.

His lustful gaze, barely noticeable shaking of his gruff voice, his bulge growing in his jeans— all the signs of his desire make your heart sing and core burn with need.

“Please, Joel.” You press your thighs together, desperate for any pressure, and he nods,

“Yes, babygirl, I know, I know. Let’s make you feel good.”

His palms placed on your hips turn you around, so you’d face the mirror again, and he pulls you down on his lap. You bite your lip, when his stiffness twitches under your left asscheek, and take a sharp breath, being reminded of how huge his cock is. Will you be able to take him?

As if reading your mind, Joel rasps against your shoulder,

“I’m big, honey, but ain’t nothing to worry about. We gonna get ya ready, yeah?”

“Yes, Joel, I trust you.”

“‘s good, babygirl. Jus’ relax and let me do the work.”

You whimper, imagining ‘the work’ he’s about to do. With a hum Joel places his hands on your inner thighs and spreads them apart. You lift your head from his hands to the reflection of you two in the mirror. You’re sitting on his lap, so small in comparison with his huge frame. He’s nuzzling the crease of your neck, and your nipples perk up under the thin fabric of your bra. His scent, his body make your pussy melt into your panties and your fear you’re going to soak them through and stain his jeans.

Your gasp breaks the silence in the room when you see and feel his hand slither to the apex of your thighs. With one arm wrapped around your waist, Joel cups your clothed pussy with the other hand and you breathe out his name.

“Yes, sweetheart, I’m right here. Fuck, ya soaked.” He gently sucks on your neck, stroking your seam with his thumb through a red lace, covering your pussy. You mewl and wriggle in his lap impatiently and he growls, when his cock twitches under your ass.

“Shh, I’ve got you, baby.”

His thumb slides under your panties and he pulls the gusset to the side exposing your wet folds to his and your eyes in the mirror.

He’s never gone that far, never seen you like this and your whole body vibrates with a heady mix of excitement and nerves. Your cheeks burn as embarrassment adds to all the emotions that are swirling in your stomach. You’ve never been that exposed for anyone, no one has ever witnessed your wet desire, coating your folds. As if sensing your discomfort Joel starts whispering words of reassurance in your ear, his gaze set on your glistening cunt in the mirror.

“Look at this pretty pussy, fuck, she’s beautiful. You’re beautiful, sweetheart.”

You whine, trying to close your legs but he stops you, his hand pressing on your inner thigh, rubbing your skin there.

“She’s crying for me, see? My cock’s cryin’ for her too. And I’ll make her feel good, baby. Gonna make her drool even more.”

You nod, fluttering your eyes shut at the sensations of his thick fingers grazing your hardening clit just barely. Suddenly Joel slightly bites on your earlobe and rasps,

“Open your eyes, babygirl. Want you to see how I’m gonna make you come.”

You do what he says and see the hand rise up from your belly to your chest and he pulls your bra down, exposing your breasts. He groans at the sight of your pebbled nipples and kneads your tit with his warm palm.

The other hand returns to your soft pussy and he starts stroking your twitching clit with his thumb.

He’s playing you like his guitar, making you sing for him with a calloused pad of his finger, brushing over your bud up and down, up and down, like it’s a string of his favorite instrument, at the same time twitching your nipples. His movements are slow and gentle but precise and determined, and you’re reduced to a moaning crying mess in a matter of seconds.

“Please, please, please— ,” you’re begging, barely breathing, lips brushing his scruffy cheek. You can’t watch him and you in the mirror anymore, it’s too much for your mind, for your eyes. You try to pace yourself, nuzzling his face.

“Yes, baby, I’ll make you come, soon. So soon,” he replies to your pleas as his tongue licks your lower lip and you open your mouth, letting him in. He’s kissing you passionately as he shifts his hand a little, making his fingers cover your sopping hole while his thumb is playing with your clit.

Joel traces your entrance with his middle finger and then slowly pushes it in. You gasp at the sensation and your walls clench hard around it, as he’s inserting it to the knuckle.

“Already warm and wet. Good girl.”

You dare to glance in the mirror and you see him plunge his digit in and out of your tight weeping hole, slowly, with a steady rhythm.

“Have ya been practicing like I asked you, babygirl?”

“Yes,” you reply with your brows pulled together and mouth slightly opened.

“Yeah, I see that,” he smiles into your cheek, “ya taking me well. We can add another one.”

As soon as he says it, his index finger joins the middle one in your slicked up channel and you feel the stretch, though it burns just a little, and you smile with relief.

Joel continues fingering you, and, to your horror, you hear squelching sounds, coming from your pussy. The pleasure is growing but you mewl with embarrassment, “Oh, no.”

Joel’s quick to comfort you, whispering in your ear,

“‘s a great sound, babygirl. Means she’s ready for me. All this juice gonna help me slide right inside ya.”

You nod and tilt your head back, resting it on his shoulder. Your eyes flutter shut as his movements take you higher with every pump. Everything disappears, what’s left is only you and him, his fingers in your pussy, his broad chest at your back, his thick cock pulsating under your ass. You're so gone with ecstasy, that you don’t notice the third finger inserted into your widening hole.

“Gonna make you come now, sweetheart,” Joel gruffs and curves his fingers. He starts shaking his hand, not moving his digits in and out but keeping them hooked into your pussy, making vibrations with his hand. He’s hitting your clit with the heel of his palm and soon you unravel, crying and shaking so hard he has to keep you on his lap, holding you with his strong arm wrapped around your torso. Your face is twisted in euphoria but you don’t see it, your surroundings morph into a burst of fireworks behind your eyelids. Of course you had good orgasms before but never such a hard one.

Joel hums with satisfaction, kissing your temple, your cheek, your half opened lips, mumbling,

“That’s my girl… yeah, c’mon… god, she’s squeezing me hard… perfect little pussy.”

He’s embracing you tight through the aftershocks and when you finally still, he cups your sloppy cunt and holds it, keeping it warm as his whole body slightly sways from side to side. The motion is lulling you to sleep. Pleasant tingling in your body, his arms, which are giving you comfort, his heart, beating with a steady rhythm against your back, all of it makes your eyes close and you fall into darkness.

Joel wakes you up with a kiss on your lips as if you’re his Sleeping Beauty. You’re lying on the motel bed and your Prince Charming’s hard cock is poking your thigh. Joel got undressed while you were out and as you sit up, rubbing your eyes, you can’t help but ogle his tan chest with dark hair, gray patches here and there, his broad shoulders, his soft belly and a gorgeous cock. It’s long and thick and your pussy clenches with a mixture of fear and arousal. His red wet tip makes you want to wrap your lips around it but you’re too shy to ask.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you mumble. “How long was I asleep?”

“Don’t worry. Just a few minutes. And my eyes are over here,” Joel says with a chuckle and you realize that you’ve been talking to his cock the whole time. You smile, raising your eyes to his, feeling your cheeks heat up and he rubs your shoulder,

“‘s ok, sweetie. You can look.”

He brings his hand to his bobbing member and gives it a few pumps. You see a clear drop of precum bead and involuntarily lick your lips.

He notices it and smirks, “oh, baby.”

You get bold and ask with your eyes only, they dart from his cock to his eyes.

“Yes, baby, you can play with it a little. But not too long. ‘m afraid I’ll come too soon like that and we need to put it in your needy pussy first, yeah?”

You nod and hastily sit on your hinges, getting comfortable. You hover your mouth over his glistening mushroom and then wrap your lips around it. Your tongue gently dances over the slit as you drink his salty juice. The taste sends a new surge of arousal to your entrance and you shift on your knees, feeling wetness pool between your folds and thighs. Like a shark feeling blood, Joel brings his hand to your ass and glides his palm over the globes of your cheeks and then slides his hand between your messy folds. You push your hips back, rubbing yourself against his palm and at the same time taking him further into your mouth, licking the underside sloppily, drooling over his stiffness.

“Oh, fuck, hnggg,” you hear Joel’s groan and then he slightly slaps your folds, getting your attention.

“Easy, baby, or I’m gonna feed ya all of my cum. And we want it here today,” he gives your pussy another light slap from the back and you moan, pulling away from his cock.

The next second he sits up and hastily says,

“I want one more orgasm from you. And we’ll be good to go.”

His hands gently push you to lie down and he helps to slide your bra and panties off. You take a sharp breath when the air of the room hits your soaked folds, your pussy getting completely exposed to him.

“Look at you,” Joel’s dark gaze is taking in your naked breasts, a heaving belly, and a puffy cunt, dripping for him onto the sheets.

He brings his calloused palm to your throat and slowly glides it down, barely touching your chest, grazes your perked up nipples, then moves down to your stomach and the mound and then slithers between your thighs. He cups your pussy again and you whimper when he places his index and middle finger on your folds and presses your clit between them with his thick digits. He starts rubbing it over your pussy lips, moving his hand up and down, and you moan. Your eyes roll back as you concentrate on another orgasm building but soon they open wide when you feel his mouth on your folds and clit.

He flicks the peeking out bud with his tongue and sucks on it. Then he pulls his fingers away, gets comfortable between your thighs and starts licking you in earnest, rubbing your clit with the flat of his wet hot tongue. You clutch his graying curls with your fingers and hold on to him, afraid to float away, because of the immense pleasure he’s giving you.

“Ahh, Joel— please— so good— oh my god,” a string of moans and pleas is leaving your mouth, but he slaps the side of your ass and growls into your throbbing cunt,

“Wanna come? Take it from me, babygirl, c’mon.” With that he opens his mouth with his tongue sticking out and starts moving your hips up and down, as your pussy is grinding against his strong muscle. Then his hands leave you and you whine.

“I said, use me. Use my mouth, babygirl,” Joel commands and, desperate for another release, you swiftly follow his order and begin moving your hips up and down, making your dripping cunt roll against his tongue, lips, mustache and scruffy chin, chasing your high, feverishly.

A content smile tugs at his slicked up lips when he sees you take control, using him for your pleasure, and he hums with satisfaction when soon you are wriggling on the bed, moaning loudly, as waves of euphoria ripple through your body. You almost sob from the intensity, not able to believe how hard you come with him, as if everything before was bleak and dull and now you finally see the colors around you.

“Joel,” you murmur, your voice is barely audible, and he climbs up your body before taking you in his big strong arms. He’s hot and big against you, all around you, and you nuzzle his hairy chest for a few seconds, catching your breath and resting.

He mumbles his praise against your temple, “my good girl—did so good—came so hard for me.”

You smile and weakly raise your face to his,

“Am I ready, Joel? I want—.”

“Yes, baby? What do you want?”

“You know.”

He pinches your chin between his fingers, keeping your eyes locked with his.

“Wanna hear you say it? Need you to say it.”

“I want you inside me?”

“Are you asking?” he breathes out a chuckle.

“No, Joel. I want you to fuck me.”

“Jesus, babygirl. Ok.”

His face gets serious and he moves to the top of the bed with you in his arms and leans against the headboard. You try to slide off him but he manhandles you to straddle his thighs.

“Jus’ sit in my lap like that,” he gruffs, pressing his chest to yours. You look down and see his cock, nesting between your bodies. The tip smears precum on your belly and you whine with desire.

“It’s so big, Joel. What if I can’t take it?”

“You can. I stretched your pussy good. And we’ll stop if it hurts, ‘k?”

You nod and lightly roll your hips against his hard cock and heavy balls under your entrance.

“Hngg, stop it, little minx. You’ll make me spill the goods too early.”

You give him a mischievous smile and then peck his lips to apologize for your naughtiness but he doesn’t let you pull away and holds you tight, his tongue breaching your lips and stealing your kiss with hunger and love. So much love that you drown in it, in the feeling of his body, his hot skin pressed to yours, his mighty manhood throbbing just for you.

Not breaking the kiss, Joel lifts your body up with his arm around your waist and his hand guides his fat cock to your entrance. Soon you feel his tip nudge your wet hole and he slowly lowers you, spreading your folds with his fat head.

“Hnggg,” Joel roars and his chest vibrates against your squished up breasts. You take a sharp breath as his tip is filling you. A thought flashes in your mind, “it’s not that bad, I can take him,” but he keeps going and soon you’re whining, as your walls spread, your pussy trying to adjust to his girth and you start panting against his lips.

“Joel, it hurts,” you mewl and he stops spearing you with his cock.

“Shhh… you’re doin’ so good, babygirl. Jus’ need to go a little deeper.”

He kisses your lips, you both breathing heavily, as you are trying to fight the dull pain, licking at your core, and Joel is gathering all his strength to keep himself from plunging his cock as deep as possible.

“Fuck, ya tight. Never felt anything like this sweet cunt, baby,” he groans through gritted teeth, “Shoulda done it earlier. Coulda been balls deep in you every day by now.”

“Oh, Joel,” you whimper at his filthy words but the fire burning your insides is slowly morphing into pleasure, as he begins fucking up into you, getting deeper inch by inch. Your nails dig into his biceps, the sensation so overwhelming you’re afraid you might faint. Joel’s lips brush your cheek as he mumbles through the panting,

“Can you— hnggg, sit on my cock, sweetie, don’t wanna hurt ya, c’mon,” he grunts as his hands roam your body, sliding to your ass as he spreads your cheeks and you feel the air cooling your soaked folds and holes.

“Yeah, ok, I’ll try.”

You’d do anything for him right now. In need of his support, you take his face between your sweaty palms and search for his hazy eyes. Your thumbs rub his scruffy cheeks as you’re getting lost in his dark lustful eyes and, knowing that your pussy is close to swallowing his cock fully, you take a final step. You lower your body, piercing your crying cunt with his manhood. His big balls twitch, flush with your ass, and you gasp at the fullness you’re experiencing. You both moan loudly before Joel’s mouth crushes against yours and he’s drinking your whimpers, returning them with his own grunts.

“Fuckin’ hell, baby, you’re perfect for my cock,” Joel is praising you but the adrenaline coursing in your veins pulls you down into the pits of euphoria and you barely hear him. Your gaze falls to the place where you two are joined, your folds spread widely around his glistening base, surrounded by dark wet hair, and the sight, the sensation make you bite your lower lip till you taste metal on your tongue. You flutter your eyes shut but Joel calls for you,

“Baby, come back to me.”

You look at his face twisted in pleasure as he grunts, “Gonna fuck you now, darlin’. Can’t wait anymore.”

You nod and his hands slither under your ass before he starts moving you up and down his cock, your tight cunt massaging it. His strong arms lift you so easily, his muscles bulging as you’re holding on to them.

Joel’s forehead is covered in sweat, some of his curls sticking to it, as he’s groaning and swearing, pushing his member into you again and again.

You softly mewl with every kisshis tip is giving to your cervix, and you revel in the pleasure when he reaches something hidden and ecstatic inside your core.

“Gonna come, Joel!” you almost cry out, as he is taking you higher.

“Not yet, babygirl. Want you to fuck yourself on my cock. Ride me.”

“How? I— I don’t know if I can,” you breathe out, your eyebrows pulled together, as your gaze darts between his eyes.

“Jus’ bounce on it, like that.” Joel grabs your hips with his bear hands and shows you how to do it, guiding you. You follow his movements and soon you’re lifting and lowering your hips, pussy sliding up and down his huge manhood, as Joel leans back on the headboard and watches you work his cock, his eyes hazy but fully focused on you.

To steady yourself you brace your hands on his broad chest and scratch his skin with your nails, when your pussy starts clamping around a man’s cock for the first time in your life. You sob through moans, as euphoria is shaking your body and Joel’s hands keep you from falling off him, when you’re trembling hard in his lap.

“Yes, yes—I’m here, baby—I gotch ya—ahhh, keep squeezing my cock— your little cunt is drooling all over me— shit, gonna come—“ he chokes on his words and you suddenly feel warmth spread inside your contracting pussy. It’s such a great sensation when he fills up your already full cunt and you don’t stop jumping on his cock, churning his warm load deep inside you, squelching sounds mixing with Joel’s grunts and your whimpers.

Your juices and his cum soon cover your folds and asscheeks and his thighs get cold and slippery, coated with your joined liquids. You feel filthy and it turns you on so much, that it makes your head spin.

“Joel, hold me, please,” you beg, lowering your torso on his heaving chest and he squirts the last ropes of his cum inside you, his big arms wrapped around your heated up body.

You both descend from your highs, holding each other close, his chest making your whole body rise and fall, his lips pressed to the top of your head.

You’re quiet, completely spent, your limbs tingling as you’re focused on the sensation of your body — a twitch of his cock still buried deep in your cunt, your pussy slightly sore clutching his softening manhood, his skin hot against yours, his warm hands gliding over your back.

“My good girl. So brave. Took me so well.”

You smile at his praise, sighing happily, trying to memorize this moment forever.

“How are you feelin’? You hurtin’?” Joel asks.

“No,” you softly reply, “a little sore but it’s ok.”

“Good. Good,” Joel coos, “Let’s clean you up.”

You nod and he carefully lifts you off his lap, as his cock slides out of your stretched hole, and a trickle of his creamy cum tickles your folds. He lays you down on the bed and gets up with a grunt to get you a wet towel.

When he’s back, you want to take it from him but he shakes his head and cleans you up himself, his movements slow and gentle. His hands wrapped in the soft fabric glide over your skin, attentive to how oversensitive you are.

You watch him take care of you, hearts in your eyes, and you almost physically sense love expand in your chest. Joel’s taking more and more space inside you with every moment your gaze is set on him, every second you breathe. A thought creeps up in your mind, “what if he leaves me? What if this magic that happened between us never repeats?” Tears well up in your eyes as fear grips your heart. But you blink them away hurriedly, scared to worry him. Today is perfect and you want it to stay this way.

You reach your arms to Joel and he joins you on the bed, embracing you in his strong arms. You raise your face to his and he kisses you, wiping away your fears with every caress of his lips.

“Thank you, babygirl. For giving yourself to me. My perfect girl,” he mumbles against your lips.

You hug him as tight as you can, and not believing how lucky you’re, you whisper, nuzzling his neck, “Thank you for making my first time perfect, Joel.”

Soon you fall asleep in his arms, wishing to be with him forever.

Thank you for reading! Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed the fic! Your feedback motivates me so much!😘💕

Masterlist

General tag list: @milla-frenchy @harriedandharassed @iamasaddie @nervousmumbling @bbyanarchist @stevie75 @puduvallee @auteurdelabre @mountainsandmayhem @senoratess @flamingochick55 @theoraekenslover @schnarfer @mermaidgirl30 @staywildflowahchild @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @evolnoomym @keylimebeag @joelmillerisapunk @fruityreads

If you'd like to be tagged in my future fics, let me know!💕

[kisakis-boyfriend]

i saw there’s already potentially a ghost reader fic bbbbut can i request inui and koko with a ghost reader that’s messing around with them and teasing them? just koko if both of them together is too much :3

🎃

Author's Note: You sure can! Both characters together is absolutely fine as well. I hope you enjoy~ 👻

Pairings: Kokonoi x Inui x male reader

Warnings: Male ghost!reader, dom/top!reader, sub/bottom!characters, teasing, all sorts of sex acts, overstimulation, public play, temperature play

Ghost reader who's bored out of his mind sitting in his old apartment, literally watching a spider crawl down its web again and again. That is, until one day two new tenants arrive.

Ghost reader who immediately takes an interest in the couple — observing them intently for almost a week before he makes his first move.

Ghost reader who starts off with small gestures:

Standing next to one of the men while they dry off after a shower, who shivers at the unusually cold bathroom.

Ghosting (pun intended) his fingertips along the hairs at the nape of the blond man's neck.

Borrowing an item around the house that one of them uses frequently.

Gently touching their faces while they're asleep.

Ghost reader makes an impulsive decision one day; when Inui is home alone, he senses something on his chest. He brushes at it, thinking it's lint or maybe a tiny bug, but the feeling persists. It's not an unpleasant sensation, per se… if anything, Inui assumes he just rubbed against his shirt funny and accidentally turned himself on.

Ghost reader who was actually massaging the blond's nipples underneath his shirt. Testing the waters a bit deeper as he smirks at the way Inui's breaths became heavier as his chest was toyed with.

Ghost reader who grows impatient, going straight for the real deal by fondling the black haired man while he's undressing. Kokonoi is beyond confused when his dick is stroked by, what, the air? He stares down, watching his dick stiffen in real time while his balls are squeezed.

Ghost reader wraps his cold lips around Kokonoi's delicious dick, happily sucking on the tip — meanwhile, Koko is confused as hell as to why it feels like his cock is being sucked. It feels fucking good though… and he doesn't exactly fight you off. Koko simply grips the nearest surface and allows an orgasm to build up, splattering his cum on the floor with a shudder.

Ghost reader grows bolder with every new interaction; using his hands to jerk off Inui's thick cock while the couple is watching TV together. From Koko's point of view, it appeared as though his husband grew too horny too fast and came in his pants.

Ghost reader who listens in as his favorite tenants discuss the strange sexual occurrences that keep happening. They're definitely surprised, but whatever is doing it hasn't hurt either one of them… so, maybe it's fine to just let it do what it wants?

Ghost reader who doesn't hold back anymore, after hearing all of that.

Ghost reader who's secretly attached to Kokonoi's hip when he takes the morning train. It's already cold outside, but Koko is unnaturally chilly — his spectral friend stands behind him, caressing his adorable ass.

Ghost reader who easily slips a finger or two into the dark haired beauty's hole, focussing on locating that special spot and pressing against it until Koko's eyes roll back.

Ghost reader who now has his entire hand wedged inside of Kokonoi in public. Luckily, Koko wore a larger scarf today — chewing on that is the only way to hide his lewd expressions and muffle his shameful whimpers.

Ghost reader who follows Inui outside on a grocery store run. Before the blond can even step inside the store, something prods at his ass, slowly entering him while he loses focus of the grocery list.

Ghost reader who climbs Inui like a monkey and thrusts his paranormal cock with no shame. Inui doesn't feel your weight on his body, just your invisible dick railing him as he clutches the edge of a shelf for stability.

Ghost reader who keeps both of his humans up until late hours of the night — jerking them off so that they remain horny enough to stay awake and eventually fuck each other since they can't sleep.

Ghost reader who brings out their most embarrassing behaviors while guests visit the apartment. Bending Koko over the kitchen counter and exposing his cock and hole, then shallowly fucking him with just your tip. If anyone walks in, they'd find him begging for someone to go deeper, while his ass is fluttering around the air.

Ghost reader who sets his devious sights on Inui next, pushing him down onto the kitchen floor when he tries to grab some more drinks for everyone. You swipe your dick across Inui's soft lips, smearing a spectral substance on his pretty face until he opens wide.

Ghost reader who fucks Inui's throat behind the counter — while their guests will have a harder time seeing Inui, they can certainly hear him gagging on something a little too big for his throat to handle.

And ghost reader who takes good care of his new friends just as often as he uses them. Doing small chores to help out, helping them stay cool during the warmer seasons by snuggling, whispering words of adoration and encouragement when they have a hard day, and caressing their bodies so gently after they drift off to sleep 🖤

[hannahhook7744]

got any coach Jenkins hc? i feel like we dont know much about him... just his relationship with the vks!

Someone does a survey to find out who the vk's favorite teacher is. The most common answer is Coach Jenkins (some from kids who never went to Auradon Prep). Not to say he's every vk's favorite. Just that not many (or any I can really think of) who'd not like him.

He takes his teams out for victory pizza.

He is one of the few people who can shut the heroes, villains, and sidekicks up with a single look (one that rivals Lady Tremaine's).

He is good with kids.

I read a fic once where Jay met his family. So I headcanon that Coach Jenkins has a husband and at least one kid because of it.

Ever wonder why we never see Mr. Deley after D1? It's because Coach Jenkins chewed him out when he found out about the mess with Evie (he also had Chad run laps at every practice until the season was over afterwards. Probably because he saw Lonnie's school of secrets web series not long before that).

I feel like he might have been abused/neglected as a kid or knew someone who was because he handled Jay (and Carlos) perfectly after their first tourney practice.

He loves his job and had a really good Coach of his own when he was younger who inspired him.

Coach Jenkins used to be apart of Auradon's big brother program.

He also once used to have a diabetic player on the tourney and fencing team so now he carries around a cooler with drinks and snacks at every practice and game.

His favorite colors are ironically the school colors.

He went to Auradon Prep when he was a teenager.

Also he's the jousting club's teacher and has known Ben since he was four because of that.

Coach Jenkins wasn't a perfect teenager (no one is, be honest. Everyone gets up to mischief) but he was always a good person. And unlike most Auradon adults we see, he's not a hypocrite and therefore isn't overly harsh to the kids when they fuck up.

He tries not to be judgemental when the adults fuck up but well. It can be hard sometimes.

He has a ton of baseball caps.

He was on vacation in d2.

He had a family emergency in d3.

Coach Jenkins remains in contact with many of his former students (especially Jay and Carlos).

He is friends and rivals with Tiger Lily (he went to high school with her).

He was a total hippie in highschool.

Can't dance at all.

Just wants absolutely all of his students to be happy and well adjusted adults, even ones like Mal and Evie that he doesn't interact with often.

Coach Jenkins used to have long hair.

His full name is Reese Alexander Jenkins (after his actor, Reese Alexander).

Man has a stress ball and lots of fidget/stress toys because he has a stressful job and his coworkers and a few of the parents certainly do not help that, thank you very much.

Also he was friends with Audrey Ramirez (Diego de Vil's mother and Milo Thatch's friend) too.

He's a bit older than Tiger Lily (in his mid 30s to early 40s).

Coach Jenkins has played videos games with the boys before.

Sometimes he has to stop himself from smacking his coworkers/the parents of the kids because they just make so many stupid decisions that it frustrates him. But he's excellent at self control so he's never done it.

He's a fun loving guy, like Jay, and way more laid back than his coworkers. But he doesn't play favorites with the kids and doesn't let them get away with everything because he knows that that will cause more problems than it will fix.

That's all that I can think of for now, sorry. Feel free to add!

[cherri-berries-playplace]

Haii ifk how to word this but how can you tell your pet regressing??

▶Hello! Thanks for the ask :) I hope this helps. There is this tiny article on what petre/agere/caregivers is/are. ⌯' ▾ '⌯

☆Everyone's experiences will be different, someone may or may not regress similarly to others. You are valid! <3

☆Similarly to agere, petre can be involuntary. Both share similarities as to how each could become great coping mechanisms, how one's mind may run, and how one may act/what activities they'd prefer. ^_^

▶My personal experience!  ꒰◍ˊ◡ˋ꒱ 

☆My personal experience with petre has been positive, it helps me cope with lot's of stress and anxiety. ε-(´∀｀; )

☆When I regress, I usually have some regression gear but I don't use it all the time and that's okay. Common regression gear for me are puppy ears headband, a clip-on tail, my favorite blankie (my childhood baby blanket), a plushie, and maybe a teether (a baby crinkle toy with chew toy corners and a squeaker in the middle.) (ﾉ´▽｀)

☆When I regress, I like to chew on things, similarly like a puppy. Going non-verbal and not communicating as much. I enjoy doing puppy-like activities such as chewing/playing with toys, taking naps, and running around/taking walks outside. Sometimes I will just snuggle up with a plush friend and watch cartoons like Paw Patrol or Bluey (some of my fav cartoons with dogs in them). ∪･ω･∪

▶Additional tips/info! (·¸.˛·)ｯ

☆Take your time settling into a comfortable place in your pet regression journey. Sometimes things may not go as planned and that's okay. You don't have to rush anything and it's important that your comfort comes first. p(^-^q)

☆Try new things and explore! It's alright not to jump immediately into something and enjoy it but if you feel the need, it's always nice to try new things. Even if you don't like it, you've learned you didn't like it, at the end of the day it's a learning experience. ☀

☆Doing/trying certain activities or gear may help you ease into your pet regression. Such as trying out activities similar to those of a certain animal, dressing similarly to one (maybe a favorite sweater or jacket that reminds you of that animal), eating snacks similar to those animals (make sure you stay hydrated as well! :)). 🩷

☆There are tons of resources all over the web about pet regression/age regression and what they may look like. It's also okay to see how others may act when regressing or ask them about their past experiences (if they're okay with it of course.) Just be safe about your research and make sure you're not pulling info from creeps.

I hoped this possibly helped a bit! <3 Thank you for the ask and I wish you luck on your journey. ^u^

[strugglingschizophrenic]

Silver Words

You speak of recognition, of my changes. You know nothing, your confidence and self-assurances only give me a layout on how to act, even then it was never enough. "I don't feel like you love me" My dear, i tore my soul from my body, gifted to you, in the vain hope you would hold and cherish it, like a dragon with its hoard. Yet after each betrayal, i looked in the mirror and i can never rightly remember who i am or who i was.

A beast of rage and sorrow, a nameless faceless *thing*. That, is what i see in the mirror. This mask of flesh hiding nothing. Mourn the death of the boy who was, smiling and friendly, sharp tounged and carefree. Fear what has emerged from his corpse, an undulating mass of black ooze that weeps.

"Why? Why? why?" i question and all i can think of, a chew toy, perhaps a favorite if I'm so bold, but a chew toy nonetheless. Eventually i am ragged and no longer quite as fascinating to play with and chew on. Replaced in secret, all the while you tell me you love me. "Know if one thing is true, is that i love you" sweeter lies have never come from lips I've loved more. Again, another 2 seasons have come and gone, yet still i am stuck, in that Autumn.

Santa Maria, why have you forsaken me? Elisheba, you with your many names and faces, oh if only you had never caught me in your web, for i may be free, yet i am still there, being dined upon, my still beating heart sliced apart and sampled per her perusal.

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Funny enough, Tori is gonna be 8 years old this year. So she's a middle aged lady. 😅

Their dynamic, as well as the dynamic web of all my pets I general, is pretty neat, and I love that I can trust them to be gentle with each other.

Tori's just one to the cats. She likes to perch, play with the cat toys even though she has an entire toy box full of her own toys, and her favorite thing to do is grab the catnip toys and chew on them until I have to replace them because they've gotten groddy from her drool making the catnip into mush. She also licks her hair in a manner similar to cat grooming, although she lacks the dexterity and body structure to do so effectively, ha ha.

Tori was excited about going outside on the porch and she just had to tell Hook before she followed us outside, lol

Tori is a dog that's been raised around cats, and Hook is a cat that's been around a dog his whole life, they absolutely think of each other as family~

Notice that Tori is holding back on actually making much contact with him, and Hook's ears and tail are relaxed. Cats and dogs can get along just fine, but you have to start them early on and they have to have thier own safe spaces and you should step in when there's a hint of agitation. Especially if the dog has a prey drive or is much larger than the cat. Hook and his siblings were handraised while Tori had a big presence around them, so he knows Tori as part of his "clowder", but probably doesn't know that Tori isn't just some funny looking cat, lol.

In other news: Zilla, Hook and Buttons are gonna be 2 years old next month!

[mandowh0re]

Possible angsty prompt: sam and bucky are at a super market in New York and someone tries to rob it but oh no no no you got two avengers there so that ain't happening but low and behold peter shows up because robbery, but sam and bucky still really don't like Peter. Maybe Peter takes a bullet for one of them?

I like this!! I changed it up a bit but I tried not to deviate too far from what you asked for. Hope you like it!! xoxo

P.S. I added SteveTony in here bc I’m a slut for that ship and I like to add it whenever I can.

Steve exits the small medical room and walks over to the waiting room where both Bucky and Sam had been instructed to wait.

Not that they were planning to go anywhere. Not until they knew Peter was okay.

The duo looks up as Steve enters and takes a seat across from them, leaning on his knees and clasping his hands together. He’s quiet for a moment, looking down at the floor before looking back up at his friends.

“Peter is going to be fine. The bullet was less than an centimeter from his carotid artery, but he’ll be fine now.”

Both waiting men let go of their collective breaths, relaxing slightly with the knowledge that no. They didn’t get the kid killed.

“You’re lucky Tony refuses to leave Peter’s side, or this would be a lot louder.”

Neither Sam nor Bucky answer him.

Steve sighs, leaning back in his chair, “Tell me what happened.”

Three hours earlier

There’s a clap on Bucky’s shoulder, and Sam is lucky that the older man heard him coming beforehand.

“You about done, old man? We gotta head back soon.”

Bucky signs a paper and takes a small envelope from the teller, giving her a small smile as a thanks.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” Bucky claps Sam’s shoulder harder, just enough to make the man stumble.

“Jackass.” He mumbles.

There’s suddenly an onslaught of bullets being shot into the ceiling, forcing everyone to the ground.

“Get on the ground! Face down! Don’t move or we’ll shoot!” One of the perpetrators yells as they walk farther into the bank.

Bucky and Sam drop with everyone else, a plan already formulating in their heads. Luckily, they dropped behind an island counter and can quietly communicate without the gunmen seeing.

Sam has a gun, but is a lot less skilled with it than Bucky. So Sam’s main goal is distraction and keeping the guns away from civilians while Bucky takes each gunman down.

Just as they move into position to kick off their plan, a familiar voice rings out.

“There’s a lot less violent ways to take out a loan. You guys know that, right?”

The two men exchange glances.

“You’ve got to be shitting-“ Sam’s complaints are cut off as bullets begin to rain hellfire once again.

Bucky takes the distraction to stand and shoot, taking down two gunmen before a third one is shot with web fluid, pinning him to the ground.

“Oh hi Mister Barnes!” Spider-Man calls, flipping over a fourth and webbing him too.

“This isn’t Queens, kid. What are you doing here?” Sam asks, already moving to help any injured hostages.

“I was close enough and caught the call on the police scanner. I figured-“

“Get outta here kid, we have it handled.” Bucky says, shooting the fifth guy who had hidden when Spider-Man appeared.

“Hey! I took down two of these guys. I just wanted to help. I didn’t even know you were here.”

“Well we are. So you can go now.” Says Sam, who is now leading people out of the building.

Spider-Man huffs, but his spider sense tingles and he turns, his surroundings moving in slow motion as he sees one of the men that Bucky had shot down roll over and lift his gun, pointing it at Bucky who was turned away from him.

Without thinking, Peter grabs Bucky’s shirt and throwing the man behind him, moving in the way of the bullet.

Now

Steve runs a hand down his face.

“So Peter stepped in between you and a bullet?”

Bucky rubs his hands together, eyes downcast.

“Yeah.”

“After you told him to leave.” He asks, his eyes moving to Sam.

“Yeah.” Sam answers quietly.

Steve stands and grabs his chair, swinging it closer to his friends. He sits.

“You two are my best friends. But Tony is my husband now. And Peter, for all intents and purposes, is his kid. Can you guys please try to get along with the kid? I know he’s a hyper kid but he took a bullet for you. Maybe cut him some slack?”

Bucky nods, rubbing his own face, “Yeah.”

“We can do that.” Sam adds.

“Good,” Steve smiles, “I’d avoid Tony for the rest of the night though.”

The next morning

Peter is sipping on some apple juice, sitting up with the help of his hospital bed.

Tony had left a few minutes ago, saying that he needed to shower now that the kid wasn’t in critical condition.

There’s a knock at the door, and Peter turns his attention to it. His whole torso has to turn with him so he doesn’t pull at the still healing wound.

“Come in.”

Much to his surprise, Sam and Bucky walk into his room, Sam holding a red gift bag with blue tissue paper.

“Uh, hi?” Peter says, putting his juice box down on the table next to his bed, “What’s up?”

The two men look at each other as if they have no idea what to do. Sam speaks up first.

“We want to apologize for what happened yesterday.”

“Oh! Why? You didn’t shoot me.” Peter says.

Bucky shakes his head, “I was so distracted by the fact that you were there that I didn’t notice that the guy was still alive. If I had been paying attention-“

“It’s fine guys, really-“

“No it’s not,” Sam interjects, “We made a mistake that almost got you killed. And that’s on us.”

Peter’s eyes move from Bucky to Sam.

“I’m sorry, Peter.” Sam says.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky adds, “And we, uh, brought you a gift.”

Sam steps forward and hands the bag to Peter, who smirks.

“Spider-Man colors?”

“Man, shut up and open it.” Sam chuckles.

Peter smiles and removes the blue tissue paper, pulling out a black hoodie that is way too big for him. On the front it says ‘Falcon and Winter Soldier are my favorite Avengers’.

It’s obvious they got it at one of those venders that can make just about whatever you want on clothing.

Peter let’s out a laugh and lowers the shirt, “Thanks guys. I love it.”

“That’s not it.” Sam says, and both he and Bucky unzip their jackets to reveal they are wearing matching red t-shirts that say ‘Spider-Man is my favorite Avenger’.

Peter let’s out a guttural laugh, struggling to catch his breath. When he finally does, he slips on his sweatshirt with help from Bucky.

“I think this is the best present I’ve ever gotten.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, “Eat it up, kid. Because we’re burning these once you get out of here.”

And that’s how Tony ends up with multiple copies of the three now friends making bunny ears behind each other’s heads, each wearing their corresponding shirts.

***

Permanent Taglist: @a-place-to-blog-marvel-stuff @yes-iamironman-blog @paradoxicalblueberry @the-regal-warrior @transparentparadiseglitterzombie @marvelgem @propertyofmarvel @avngrsinitiative @my-leg-is-not-a-chew-toy @lyricalstella @just-the-daydreamer @hufflely-puffly

[delicioussshame]

Please donate to my campaign. My goal is to get friends for Shen Yuan.

Shen Yuan almost jumps out of his skin when he hears a knock on the door. No one had ever visited Luo Binghe since he came to stay here, and he had gotten the impression that it wasn’t that Luo Binghe had sent his usual visitors away for his guest’s sake. He does believe that his favorite student had been dreadfully lonely, these past few years.

How somehow as endearing as Luo Binghe ended up alone and friendless, Shen Yuan cannot fathom.  

Still, if someone is knocking on the door, the doorman must have let them in? It must be important then. Shen Yuan cannot imagine nobodies are allowed anywhere within this complex.

He thinks about texting Luo Binghe to ask, but what if he disturbs him? He must be busy, away at his important job while Shen Yuan does nothing but lazing around. And Luo Binghe did imply that he wouldn’t be ashamed of Shen Yuan’s presence no matter what, so… let’s test that, shall we?

Shen Yuan opens the door.

Shang Qinghua’s frazzled expression faces him.

Shen Yuan almost closes the door in his former colleague’s face.

“Wait, what, Shen Yuan?! Woah, I had no idea you went back to your parents, I thought you said that bridge had burned. Anyway, would love to catch up, but I’m on the clock and at the wrong place, sorry, gotta go or my boss is gonna kill me, bye!”

Shen Yuan stops Shang Qinghua by the shoulder to stop him from leaving. “If you were looking for Luo Binghe, not that I have any idea why you would be, you’re not at the wrong place.”

“Really? Why? How? Is there a story here? Cause it sure seems like there’s a story here. Tell me the story! But later, I have to deliver this?” He waves a boring manilla envelope like it’s supposed to make sense.

“Who still sends letters?”

Shang Qinghua shrugs. “My boss.”

“You’re a mail carrier now? Nice upgrade.”

“Well, I do what I have to do, I don’t live with the country’s most eligible bachelor. Seriously Bro, what happened here? Isn’t he a bit young for you?”

Shen Yuan is sure his blush is terribly incriminating, but he can’t help it.

“Wow. You have to tell me now.”

Shang Qinghua is acting terribly familiar for a guy Shen Yuan hasn’t seen since graduation. “Why should I?”

But Shang Qinghua has already let himself in, unceremoniously dropping the envelope on the nearest table and taking everything in with wide eyes before he lets himself fall on Luo Binghe’s designer couch without a care in the world. “C’mon. Fess up.”

“How about you? Why are you even here? For all I know you’re a thief trying to rob the place.”

Shang Qinghua snorts. “Not exactly my speed.” He shrugs. “Teaching didn’t pay the bills, got an administrative assistant job instead and somehow ended up working for one of Luo Binghe’s associates, hence the private delivery service. How about you? When I saw you earlier, I was sure you were retired and profiting off that sweet family money, but was I wrong? Or is this those Shen connections at work?”

Shen Yuan frowns. Why did he even tell this guy about his family again?

Oh yes, because he had been young, stupid and drunk: the university experience. “No. Luo Binghe is a former student of mine. I’m visiting.”

Shang Qinghua gives him the world’s judgiest look. “Visiting.”

Shen Yuan nods, face still as a lake. “Visiting.”

“While Luo Binghe isn’t there.”

Shen Yuan nods again. “It’s a long visit. I’m staying here right now.”

“At your former student’s house. Look, I’m just gonna say it: sleeping with your student is bad. Don’t do it! That way lies lawsuits!”

“Former student! And it’s not like that!” Technically correct. They haven’t slept together, not in the way Shang Qinghua implies they did. “He’s just lonely and a bit deluded. It’ll pass.”

Probably.

No, not even Shen Yuan believes it at this point. One can only be kissed so often before one has to face reality: Luo Binghe certainly thinks he cares about Shen Yuan more than a student should care about any teacher.

Shen Yuan just isn’t sure what he should do about it.

“If it’s not like that, which, Bro, you’re not making a good case for, you’re staying with him because…?”

“I’m on vacation?” Shen Yuan lies back on the cool leather. “It’s a nice place for it, and cheap.”

“And your “former student” was eager to host you. You, his high school teacher? Because from what my boss told me, Luo Binghe isn’t exactly famous for his openness. I’m half-certain Mobei-Jun sent me here as punishment. He wanted someone else to chew me up this time.”

Shen Yuan snorts. “Still very competent, I see.”

“Well, at least I was teaching my students, not offering “extra credits” if they stayed after class. And since when are you into men, anyway? You always acted like you didn’t notice when men hit on you.”

“Men never hit on me.”

It’s Shang Qinghua’s turn to laugh. “Glad to see that didn’t change. Luo Binghe must be something, to have managed to get through you. What did he tell you, that he wanted to bend you over the nearest desk? Anything less and you’d have been blind to it.”

For fuck’s sake can Shang Qinghua stop saying shit that embarrasses the hell out of Shen Yuan? It’d be very appreciated.

“Oh shit, he totally did! Go him! Did it work? Tell me it worked!”

“No! Can’t you shut up for once in your meaningless life!”

“Not gonna happen. I need to know more. He made a move, and you’re living with him now? His charisma must be something else. At that speed, when’s the wedding? No, wait, how long has this been going on? We haven’t seen each other in forever, you might have been “visiting” for three years as far as I know.”

This is torture. “Didn’t you say you had somewhere to be?”

Shang Qinghua waves his attempt at deflection away. “Forget it, this is way more interesting. Even Mobei-Jun will want in on this. Sooooo?”

Shen Yuan sighs. “I’ve only been here a few weeks. As I said, it’s just a vacation. I’ll leave once the school year starts again.”

“Why can’t you stay here anyway? That dear student of yours must want to keep you, right? Unless you’re really being bankrolled by your parents, this is way nicer than anything you could possibly afford.”

“No matter what he says, I’m not becoming Luo Binghe’s trophy wife.”

Shang Qinghua’s eyes widen. “Ooh, your student wanna be your daddy? He’s paying you to keep you around, is that it? Oh, that has to be it. Explains the weird evasiveness thing you’ve got going on. Never knew you had it in you. I’m impressed, really. Much better gig than my own. I wish my boss would pay me to lounge around on his expensive furniture. I’d be great at that. Plus, you know, it’s not like it’d be a hardship. Mobei-Jun is scorching. I’d be his arm candy any day. Maybe he’d be less likely to murder me that way.”

Shen Yuan longs desperately to return to the web novel he so cruelly abandoned to let his worst nightmare in. “I’d give you my job, but honestly Binghe deserves better.” Better than Shen Yuan, too. “At least you’re into men. Makes things easier.”

Shang Qinghua’s face falls. “Are you telling me you’re not into him? Like, at all? Why are you even here then? The money can’t be that good. Return to your parents and get them to arrange a marriage to a rich heiress. Same result, plus you’re attracted to your partner. Better?”

Shen Yuan flinches in horror. “No! Not better! My parents AND some spoiled brat who only cares about my name? Fuck no. Binghe is infinitely better than that!”

Shang Qinghua laughs. “So you do like him! Good for you! Go get him, tiger!”

“No! Well, yes I do, Binghe is very likable, but not like that!”

“Oh my god can you hear the shit that comes out of your mouth? Look, you obviously trust him enough to agree to be his live-in boy toy, and okay, I haven’t seen you in forever, but whatever you’re doing is visibly agreeing with you. What were you doing anyway? It’s not like Luo Binghe is here most of the day.”

Shen Yuan shrugs. “Catching up on my reading, mostly.”

Shang Qinghua chokes. “Fuck you. He’s paying you to read? While I’m still trying to get pay to write? I hate you with every single atom of my being.”

“Wait, you’re still writing? Please tell me you’ve upgraded genre, at least.”

“Well…”

“Oh god show me now so I can change your mind before you waste even more of your life on this trash,” says Shen Yuan like he hadn’t caved and spent Luo Binghe’s hard-earned money on extras for novels he hates.

___________________

Luo Binghe is caught completely off guard by the loud voices echoing in his home. Even with Laoshi here, silence is what usually he’s greeted with.

Today, Shen Yuan’s voice is alight with what sounds like righteous anger. He can’t quite place the second one.

Luo Binghe follows the call like a sailor freed from his bonds.

He finds Shen-laoshi half-draped over his chair, Mobei-Jun’s lackey sitting at the desk Luo Binghe had bought for his teacher alone, both of them apparently enraptured with an argument about… bad literature?

Luo Binghe wishes he could be pleased with the sight of Shen-laoshi being this animated, but he can’t. He’s not the one who caused it. This little, insignificant man did, to the point that neither of them noticed his approach.

Luo Binghe taps Shen Yuan’s shoulder. “Laoshi.”

Both of them turn toward him, but only Shen-laoshi gets Luo Binghe’s tongue down his throat.

He is very pleased with the outraged look on his teacher’s face. “Binghe! Not in front of the guest!”

The interloper jumps out of Laoshi’s chair. “Guest? What guest? There is no guest, no one here’s. In fact, I should have left hours ago, oh god Mobei-Jun is going to kill me. Shen Yuan, please give Luo Binghe the envelope, sorry for bothering you both, talk to you later, gotta go byyyye!”

Luo Binghe watches the little man flee in terror with satisfaction. Good riddance.

Let’s see him try to contest Luo Binghe’s claim now. “How does Laoshi know Mobei-Jun’s personal assistant?”

“We studied together in college.”

Luo Binghe pouts. How could an old friend of Shen-laoshi find him here? “Were you two close?”

Shen Yuan shrugs. “Not especially. Why do you ask?”

That can’t be true. They were so at ease around each other. It can take Luo Binghe hours to get Shen-laoshi this relaxed.

He stays silent.

Shen Yuan stares at him. “Binghe.”

“…Yes?”

“I realise this is going to sound ridiculous, and for that I’m sorry, but are you.., jealous? Of Shang Qinghua?”

Luo Binghe might be pouting harder. “No. Why would I be jealous of one of Shen-laoshi’s friends he never told me about.”

A (very cute) smile appears shows up on Shen Yuan’s face. “You. Luo Binghe. Are jealous of Shang Qinghua.”

He dares to laugh! It’s not funny!

This time, Luo Binghe is definitely pouting harder.

“Binghe. Binghe. You’re you. Shang Qinghua is… Shang Qinghua. What do you have to be jealous about? He’s just Shang Qinghua! Come back to your senses!”

Well, that does cheer Luo Binghe right up. “Shen-laoshi likes me better!”

Shen Yuan rolls his eyes. “Of course I do.”

Luo Binghe’s chest remains warm for the rest of the day.

[hargrove-mayfields]

Autistic max? I��m all in -🦖

yes!! Max being on the spectrum is one of my favorite headcanons! Here’s a bit of my thoughts and hcs for you anon! <3

okay so first i wanna talk a little about where this hc came from! this idea was born in my head for a multitude of reasons, but the general summary is this:

-she misses a lot of social+emotional cues! she didn’t pick up on just how annoyed Mike was with her in the gym and kept pushing until El intervened, she didn’t detect any of Lucas’ panic or frustration when he was explaining the upside down to her until he touches her, and when el is jealous and just not interested in meeting her, she seems to be completely unfazed by that until she walks away. also every scene she has with Billy, he’s very shut off and she seems to be confused about what she’s expected to say, missing that he’s angry until he’s lashing out, and idk to me it just seems like she doesn’t really have a grasp on understanding others’ emotions!

-similarly, she only seems to react in the face of immediate danger, as if she’s a lot of the time unaware of how bad things truly are around her. like when she’s helping to find dart without even knowing what’s going on, driving a whole muscle car and going down into the tunnels without a hint of fear, seeming barely concerned when the mindflayer was about to drop through the ceiling. it’s almost like she has trouble fully processing the consequences of certain things, which could also explain why she sneaks out even though she probably knows what Neil is like and the fact that it could potentially put her in danger.

-the way she dresses just screams tactile sensitivity! she doesn’t ever wear anything flowy, any scratchy materials, and even at the snowball, where we see Susan fussing over her, she’s still dressed for comfort. what young girl with a mother clearly interested in making her pretty is going to get away with wearing jeans to a school dance if she doesn’t have sensory issues?

-also, whenever she gets upset she seems to shut down. like she almost never talks to Billy after he yells at her unless it’s necessary, when her and Lucas are talking on top of the bus it definitely seems like she’s struggling to voice her feelings or put words to her emotions, when Billy’s in the sauna, after he’s activated she starts turning in on herself, and after his death she’s just sitting in his room. like maybe she doesn’t really understand her own emotions that well either.

I’m not really viewing any of this as like, solid evidence or anything btw, these are just some things I’ve noticed about her as an autistic girl her age and living in a very similar situation that I think are neat and relatable!

onto the stuff I literally made up because I love her!

-Susan gives me autism mommy vibes. Like, making it her identity that she has a child with autism, and at times that can get super frustrating for Max because she hates being her mom’s little trophy daughter, gossiped about at all the potlucks so people feel sorry for her. Her absolute least favorite thing is “She’s such a handful.” and when Susan pulls the I’m so lonely because of taking care of you card to make her feel bad. Especially because she doesn’t feel very taken care of, once she’d hit a certain age her mother decided she’d be alright without all that “kid stuff” and basically tossed her into the world on her on. (hence why she’s Billys responsibility)

-In the 80s (and still now if we’re being entirely honest) it was very normal to just throw a casual r slur into conversation and it kills Max every time her friends say it, especially Mike because she thinks he’s being mean and doesn’t like her. She doesn’t know how to explain to them that that hurts her feelings because she doesn’t even know how to bring it up that she’s autistic. Billy tells her once to try to cheer her up that he could beat them up for her but she cries even harder because that’s what she doesn’t want, is for them to think she’s overreacting. He feels bad and tries to make up for it bringing it up with some of the moms of the group and asking that they tell their kids to stop using that word ever.

-In California she was in special ed classes, but Hawkins Middle deems that not necessary for someone of her “functioning level” (yuck) and she gets landed in coed instead. It might’ve been alright if that was how she started her education, but she was already used to classes of four or five kids like her, and she just cannot learn in that new environment. So she does really, really bad in school her first year in Hawkins. She feels kind of self conscious around her friends because they’re all so smart and her grades make her feel stupid even though it’s not her fault, and that’s why she kinda drifts towards being close with El because she struggles with learning things too.

-Smells are probably her worst overstimulation triggers. Things like cigarette smoke, fresh brewed coffee, her moms perfume, cooking and baking smells, the automatic air freshener thing, candles. Pretty much anything stronger than the smell of water is just overwhelming for her, especially if there’s something else already working her up, because then a whiff of something too strong can put her straight into a meltdown. Billy decides to quit smoking for her (he’ll never admit that, he’s adamant that it was because it was messing with his lung capacity and he’s trying to work out) and he also does things like buy Susan a new, less offensive perfume for her birthday and open windows to get stuffy air out of the house. They never really talk about what that does for her but like, that’s part of how they start getting closer, is when he starts making little accommodations for her like that.

-In addition to smells, there are very specific sounds she can’t stand. It’s not all loud noises, some of them like the rev of Billy’s car or a bass guitar at an outdoor amphitheater are some of her favorites, but the ones she doesn’t like, she really hates. Things like styrofoam, dishes hitting off of each other, something scratching against ice that builds up in the freezer, TV static, the toaster popping up or the oven beeping, and people who can’t chew with their mouths closed (looking at you Billy, keep that gum in your mouth please) all make her feel gross. She’ll try to physically shake off the way those sounds make her feel but sometimes they’re just too much and she shuts down for a while until she gets to hear something else. In that case usually really quiet music or someone talking to her quietly can reel her back in.

-Her interests vary a lot! The longest she’s ever held one special interest was a Miss Piggy phase! Susan liked that she was showing interest in a feminine character because of a lot of her si’s were tomboyish, but Max liked Piggy because she knew karate and punched people who laughed at her or tried to make her feel bad about herself! She has all sorts of Piggy collectibles, like toys, bed sheets, posters, books, mugs and watches! Otherwise her interests and fixations tend to come and go pretty quickly, like one week she could want to know everything there is to know about pro skaters, and the next she’s into the history of circuses! She liked cars for a little while and Billy was really excited to indulge in that and let her get familiar with the camaro, but she shifted to video games pretty soon after and he had to let it drop.

-Another interest that’s also pretty constant for her is nature! Not only for the sensory experience of it, listening to leaves rustle and birds chirp and water rush, but also all the knowledge about it. She can identify any type of flower, grass, tree, critter, or fungus! When she’s melting down and needs to be away from the house, she asks Billy to take her to the state park so she can just sit and be quiet and calm down on a fallen tree or a swing set somewhere. They do have some woods behind their house but she’s too afraid to venture out there and prefers to be out with her brother anyways.

-Stims! She’ll fiddle with zippers and buttons and loose threads constantly to the point that they buy her three or four of the same jackets and shirts for when she inevitably breaks them. She also chews on sleeves and hoodie strings a lot. Other tactile stims she favors are string tricks and braiding and tieing knots! Braiding her and Billy’s hair is something she’ll do anytime she needs to feel grounded, and she has a whole bunch of those little wooden boards that kids use to learn how to tie their shoes to tie knots with. She also always has a pocketful of yarn, and her favorite thing to make with them is a spider web or a star!

-Sort of related to her fascination with string is that her shoelaces never ever match, she has like a whole drawer in her room full of different ones to change them out! (and she has Miss Piggy Bow Biters to put on them!)

-She’s also a very verbal stimmer at times! Giggles for days with Max, if she’s excited, happy, nervous, whatever, she’s giggling. Humming and mimicking too, like if she hears a sound she likes she’ll try to make it, whether it be part of a song or something she hears outside. But if she is sad she’ll get as quiet as a mouse.

Idk these are just like my sort of canon compliant hcs I guess? Like what I feel would be true for her in the timeline and storyline of the show!

[onewomancitadel]

One of my favorite aspects of ETL is seeing how the hero half's friends react to their being a couple... I think reading a lot of Austen and G Eliot at a young age turned me on to how delicious scandal can be @_@ Merc and Emerald being present for the Knightfall hug (!!) was everything to me. And thank you for linking the song that gave your story its name... I loved it! If only it had a full version :p

I think this is also your ask:

Oh and thank you for delaying the kiss (as well as the consummation and even the mere acknowledgement of the developing romantic dynamic) of their relationship. All romance is best when attenuated to the finest webs imo, and this tension in an ETL ship makes reading this fic genuinely make my heart race even when J & C aren't interacting haha

Omg I squeed at my computer receiving these asks. T_T We are clearly resonant with one another vis-à-vis romance. I was reared on Austen before I chewed through other classics so it was very formative - I am completely with you on social scandal, the part that gets me with Darcy/Elizabeth is the way her secret feelings cultivate whilst everybody still believes her to loathe him. Anything that toys with perspective gets me (I love unreliable narration, limited perspective), and especially any themes related to it too (see title of my fic lol) - particularly the idea of 'seeing and not just looking'.

I'm so glad you enjoyed that part especially with the hug XD XD I think it partially works (for me personally in constructing it) because Em and Merc see Cinder vulnerable in an emotional way. We can have our cake and eat it too :D also I wanted to very steadily build on other people perceiving the romance/interaction between them so we're not immediately thrust in coldwater, which is why I think the solitude of chapter 2 works (and I did try to calculatedly play with this increasing exposure).

oh and the song yes! I adore it because you have to search for it/wait for it to play at the end of the vinyl so it's more of that theming I really love lol. I love the gentle, twinkling sweet sound of it. I appreciate you listening and liking it too, I absolutely adore the song (and Purity Ring).

Oh and thank you for delaying the kiss (as well as the consummation and even the mere acknowledgement of the developing romantic dynamic) of their relationship

yes yes okay we're DEFINITELY on the same page lol, it's a very fine line to walk and I am *fingers crossed* hoping I'm stepping correctly, there is that inherent issue of unrealistically drawing out tension which I'm constantly cognisant of.

As it stands though I think their relationship is obviously weird enough and Cinder's only just brought up to him that welllll maybe it's not so bad :o) (meanwhile Cinder has been monologuing how much she fucking loves it lol) we can give them leeway. There are a lot of other character considerations for the two of them as it is.

Honestly I was worried it developed too fast. I had to spend time rereading the posted chapters and chapter outlines to convince myself to let chapter 7 happen as it happened - even chapter 6 - so then I had to inhabit the reader mindset a little bit. I obviously won't elaborate on what happens next (lol!) but I hope you enjoy it - I'm one for the slowest of slowburns. I hate when they kiss 'too early' lol - or at least when the romance is sort of solved early and then there's another conflict brought in quite late and potentially even too contrived (not knocking on the whole idea of third-act breakups). To me feelings/confession/resolution of the problem of having feelings is the overarching plot and not all relationships actually need third-act breakup, but have reasonable motivation for taking time to consummate, or even be acknowledged. But then one needs to write it well! I think ETL gives one much more space because overcoming personal (not structural) antagonism is essentially the first act. Sadly it's also skipped over a lot with ETL, both published and fanfic! But it's my favourite!!!!!!!!!!! Well one of my favourite elements... where they have personal conversations but also perceive each other as enemy. Cinder is trying so so hard to keep reminding him of that lol. (That, plus structural antagonism. There's personal feelings and then there's all the stuff that one is meant to do and be).

this tension in an ETL ship makes reading this fic genuinely make my heart race even when J & C aren't interacting haha

And omg that's the highest praise, truly T_T T_T yes the scenes where they're not interacting but still thinking about each other honestly get me..... I love that... and it's a love story, not trying to be canon or tell the show's story (though by necessity there's everything going on in the background and structurally I think the romance is significant re: Salem/Ozma) so I want that to be front and centre. Truly I cannot convey to you how happy these asks make me, as a fellow romance afficionado. My favourite things about romance are like... 1. the way it carries theme and character 2. the juiciness of intense feelings 3. eroticism 4. the fucking heart twinges!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you again for your ask T_T it made my afternoon truly. I hope you like the rest of the story, and if you liked that Purity Ring song, I can recommend so many more for the fic lol. <3 <3 <3

[lady-writes]

TALES THROUGH TIME TWO FT MY LEAST FAVORITE COVER. GREG AND LEANDRO I KNOW YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!

Stream of consciousness ramble reactions and big thoughts below the cut

SO NORIKO THEN-

just coming hot off the ropes to smack us with some THEMES

I don’t think this is early enough to be Noriko’s origin, this story is set 13th century AD and we know Noriko is BC old along with Andy and Lykon

I do find it WILDLY interesting that Noriko for what ever reason saw fit to Stalk? Haunt? Hunt? Follow? this man through his entire life. The narrative implies that she might have been his first kill. It out right says that she chose NOT to kill him then, and knowing what we know about how these homies fight, its a fair assumption that she could have killed him any of the 6 times we see them cross paths. but instead she waited.. WHY?!

RED IS NORIKO/QUYNH’S COLOR. IT IS LAW.

The whole of Force Multiplied is Nile/Andy/Noriko debating what is morally right for them to do. Noriko has no lines in her own story beyond introducing herself but HERE the framework is about nothing more or less that the question of what gives any person the right to kill another, to make choice for another living thing. THEMES OUT THE WAZOOOO

apparently by 1200′s AD Noriko had decided that tits out was no longer the way to go

also everytime Noriko Dies She’s Smiling.... I do not know what to make of that fact but I do find it unsettling

oh booker you sad fucking bastard, i hate when I’m right

SON OF A BITCH DO I HATE HATE HATE FORE/AFTERSHADOWING WHAT ON GODS GREEN EARTH, GODDAMN

sO YEAH ABOUT THAT  FUCKING A

BOOKER IS FATES FUCKING CHEW TOY AND NOTHING IS GOING TO CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE 

My personal HC of Booker as a optimist who’s been battered through cynicism pessimism and straight into self destructive Nihilism feels right at home in this story

Booker did keep his Napoleonic sabre! though what may have become of it is anyone’s guess

God so like do you think he remembers? Do you think he thinks its a coincidence? Booker never gets to see Copley’s stalker wall in comics or in the movie, so the whole intertwined web of humanity thing isn’t something he has awareness of as of the end of force multiplied.

1870- 68 years into immortality and Booker loves a wine (bougie hoe) and drinks/talks about drinking quite similarly to how he does in current era. Fair guess to blame his alcoholism on the death of his family rather than failure to cope with immortality. He’s still looking for meaning in why he’s alive

OH GOD YOU KNOW BOOKER AND JOE HAVE BONDED OVER THEIR SAVING PEOPLE THING. NICKY MUST BE SO FUCKING TIRED  🤣 🤣 🤣

I wonder why these two got paired together- assuming there’s some reason to that. Noriko’s story of apparent vengeance/ spending one of her many lifetimes pursuing one man for vengeance? shits and giggs? juxtaposed to Booker searching for meaning and trying to reassure himself that there must be a reason for his continued existence

what was andy up to in San Fran? I’m just curious but hey! its a stamp on the over all timeline of canon

IDK if we’re ever gonna see young shiny booker I doubt it, but I am REALLY looking forward to Andy+Achilles, because that will be the closest thing to seeing another new immortal being brought into the fold (when Andy and Booker meet)

My Takeaways:

The guard getting found out is gonna be directly related to Merrick, cuz maybe Merrick the Elder did tell those stories to his grandkids, maybe he made a sketch of the man who saved his life and the subsequent generations of Merrick’s grew up with that family legend. Maybe the quest for immortality was a family business. the Merrick the Elder become obsessed? This is the second time a story’s focal point/twist has rested on the Team coming across a former victim later in their lives. Situationally different thematically the same.

Quynh/Noriko continues to be PEAK MYSTERIOUS WOMAN TROPE. PLEASE SIR MAY I HAVE SOME BACKSTORY??!?!?!??! I WANT TO KNOW HER!!!!

IS BOOKER SECRETLY SQUISHY? WAS Booker squishy but now he’s drunk it out of his system

DID BOOKER MAKE THE MERRICK CONNECTION BECAUSE I STG IF THIS POOR HIMBEAUX ASSHAT SAW MERRICK PHARMA IN 2020 AND THOUGHT OH THIS IS WHY I SAVED THAT FUCKER I WILL EAT MY OWN KIDNEY THAT IS SO FUCKING MEAN. PLEASE GIVE THIS MAN SEVERAL SERATONINS, SOME PUPPIES AND A TALKSPACE ACCOUNT

Noriko’s entire comics MO of we should be the ones who cause the suffering, that's our right as the literal elder gods of this planet/humanity is Not one that I like at all but definitely suits her vignette 

Booker got REAL GOOD AT FIGHTING for a man who was an unwilling Army conscript in the largest and most disastrous conscript army/campaign of the 20th century. Even if you don't assume that he spend the first 2-3 decades of his immortality tryin to like a normal life, The team is fighting enough that he got good enough to go 4 on 1 with one functioning eye in 60 years, and its far more likely that he actually did it in 30-40

Lastly I really like this book but I’m disappointed in Kelly Sue and/or Greg Rucka. Noriko/Quynh’s character is obviously pivotal to the story, but she has no genuine presence in the book. Blessedly she is unfridgeable (we hope), but she’s very much living in the Fridge position. She’s a Lost Lenore to the team, She’s Andy’s Eurydice. When she’s introduced in the main story she come with all the femme fatale/exotic dangerous woman tropes. She’s as flat as any generic superhero girlfriend and I expect better of these particular writers by far. I hope that this is a function of an attempt at mystery or some other need to keep her barely present in reality but constantly on the periphery, but not of the other one shots seem to have any place for her and Fade Away is no less than 7 months into a very nebulous future. Please don’t let me down book (UrProllyGonnaLetMeDown)

[xpouii]

Spit Take

Hey y’all! I really put my nose into this fic to get it finished. It was commissioned by (anonymous) and I hope you like it! The prompt was amazing!

Tags/Warnings: NSFW, Dukexiety, Prinxiety, full NSFW warnings below the cut!

Warnings: Spit kink, tentacle dick, cum play, rough, bulging (stomach and throat), deepthroating, gagging, choking, drooling, crying, masturbation, voyeurism/slight exhibitionism, toys

           “Kiddo!” Patton called as he stepped out of the kitchen. “We’re having a movie night… care to join us? I made cookies.”

           “Yes, Virgil,” Logan echoed. “You don’t have to wear a onesie if you don’t want to. Patton just has an affinity for them for some reason.”

           “Like you don’t?” Roman muttered, flipping through the menu of available movies. “Did we decide what we’re watching?”

           “March of the Penguins,” Logan said. “It’s the only possible compromise. There’s scientific information, aesthetically pleasing animals and it’s narrated by Morgan Freeman.”

           “Aww penguins!” Patton gasped.

           “I wanted to watch Aladdin, but…” Roman chewed the inside of his mouth, “You do have a point about Morgan Freeman. His voice is just so soothing!”

           Logan seemed pleased with himself as he picked up a cookie from the large plate of them. Virgil reminded himself to sneak back out later and help himself once the others had gone to bed. Patton clapped his hands together, “Great I’m so proud we agreed right away! I can’t wait to watch these adorable penguins with my best friends. So what do you say, Virgil? Penguins do wear a lot of black, and there’s an empty spot on the couch with your name on it! Not literally but if you give me five minutes and some glitter pens I could whip something up.”

           “You?” Roman scoffed. “What about me? You’re going to make an artistic gift for Virgil without me?”

           Patton smiled warmly at Roman and patted his knee, “Of course not, Roman. You’re my favorite artist!”

           “Uh… gee Pat that sounds great but I’ve got stuff to do,” Virgil said. They were all looking at him then, Logan with his cool, matter-of-fact interest and Roman with a look that Virgil still hadn’t decrypted. The Prince would catch his eyes sometimes, especially across the room or in the middle of a group conversation, and Virgil felt cold and hot, invited and accused all at once. It was hard not to slip into a sneer and snap like he used to. Old habits die hard, especially in frightened animals, but Virgil wanted to be the light side they had invited him to be. That just hadn’t quite extended to movie nights and cookies yet, so he ducked his head and hustled off to his room, kicking it shut behind himself. He’d left the kitchen on a mission after all.

           Virgil locked his door, pulling up his hood before walking over and sitting on the edge of his bed; he closed his eyes and smiled softly, his mind swimming with slow memories, nostalgia that skated like fingertips over his skin. His legs opened, an automatic response as he slid his hand down to palm himself through his jeans; tingling heat swam over him and he whined, his fingers quickly unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. He moaned at the relief of pressure but it was short-lived as he hardened fully. Virgil pulled himself free of his underwear and spat into his hand. More memories, more heat as he wrapped his slick hand over his cock and stroked slowly, letting out a little chuckle of disbelief at just how good it felt. Virgil was usually much more interested in being with somebody than touching himself—it required a certain amount of self-interest that he struggled with—but he was in a bit of a transitional period, new friends and new… faces.

           Logan, Patton and Roman weren’t anything like the others, although Patton and Logan often wrestled for the top spot—at least that’s how it looked to Virgil when he was fresh from the subconscious, after he’d been accepted, but now he knew that Patton was in charge in a far different way than Deceit, especially considering Patton had little idea just how much sway he held over Thomas’ decisions. Then there was Roman, Remus’ parasitic twin—as they used to call him downstairs—but so completely different. Where Remus felt unshakable confidence, Roman was a ball of insecurity. Where Remus liked to sneak up on a conversation, Roman burst into the room like a confetti canon, scattering fanfare and nicknames. Where Virgil had found casual companionship in Remus, his feelings for about Roman were complicated at best, and terrifying at worst. When Roman had given his little speech of encouragement in Virgil’s room, it wasn’t his cock that twitched. It was his heart, and wasn’t that just the worst. At least with Remus, things were simple.

           An easy moan escaped his lips and he couldn’t help but rock up into his hand, a slow sustained rhythm that he stopped only to gather the precum from the head of his cock and spread it downward. It used to always be this easy, smiles and moans and letting go. Anxiety was Thomas’ problem, and Virgil had always been happy to let it choke Thomas rather than analyzing, tweaking and dealing with it. Back then, he’d been Deceit’s—and Remus’, and he’d been a simpler, saucier creature. Even when he would mess up and get caught up in his own web of panic, and when Deceit’s gentle petting and encouraging words weren’t enough, Remus knew exactly how to fix the problem. Virgil’s smart little mouth had always been good for more than spitting vitriol and sarcasm, and Remus knew exactly how to drag it out—or push it in—in the best ways. Virgil raised his free hand and slipped two fingers into his mouth, moaning around them as he pressed against his tongue, thrusting them back and forth until they started to tickle that fluttery feeling in his chest, caught between swallowing and coughing, gagging and moaning—just like old times.

 ---

           When Virgil came to him, Remus knew exactly what he wanted. His eyes were dark, red-rimmed and his lips were in a full pout, wet and reddened by chewing, absolutely begging, “What is it, Emo?”

           Virgil unzipped his hoodie and shrugged it off, pulling his shirt over his head; he knelt in front of Remus, a question in his eyes, spilling out in a throaty whisper, “Are you busy?”

           “Too busy for you? Never,” Remus said, sliding his fingers through Virgil’s hair, gathering it so he could take in Virgil’s face. He was pale, but a blush sat high on his cheeks, and his eyes were darker than usual, the black makeup smeared all the way down to his cheekbones and streaked down by a drying tear or two of frustration. Remus always thought this Virgil was the most beautiful, so true to himself, so overtaken by his purpose and his instincts that even Deceit couldn’t suppress him, and he was begging Remus to fuck his mouth and let the wild brambles of the anxious side’s mind grow uninhibited until Remus choked it all away.

           Virgil’s full lips twitched into the tiniest wisp of a smile as he reached for Remus’ pants. The creative side slapped his hand away gently, and lost his clothes via magic. He would rather be naked anyway—given the chance. His cock, so familiar to Virgil by now, was just as eldritch as anything else Remus had any kind of control over, a tentacle that—according to the creative side—had a mind all its own. Virgil was fairly convinced that Remus was perfectly in control of himself, cock and otherwise. It traced Virgil’s lips and the anxious side opened his mouth, closing his eyes as the first hints of the familiar taste touched his tongue. He opened wider to accommodate the tapered organ as it pushed further, heavy on his tongue and writhing against every surface of his mouth, exploring and giving Virgil that familiar stomach flutter.

           Remus’ hand at the back of his head made him calm, tension easing as Remus took control; all he had to do was be present. The taste of precum made him moan, and Remus pulled back, making Virgil lean forward to chase his cock. He was hungry for it, entirely tunnel-visioned, and Remus chuckled, “Impatient, Emo?”

           “Please,” Virgil whined, his mouth feeling achingly empty around every sound he made. “Please Remus, I want it. Pl-“

           His words were cut off when Remus thrust back in, and Virgil fought his gag reflex as Remus’ cock slid past the back of his tongue to bump against the back of his throat, one swift surprising movement. He opened his throat, eager to be filled, to be used. Remus’ cock squirmed in his throat and he relaxed more as he felt the skin of his throat stretch and bulge to accommodate the hot, heavy organ. He moaned as best he could, his voice warped and layered by the overwhelming juxtaposition of pleasure and humiliation. Virgil looked up at Remus with lust-heavy eyes, his cheeks hot and his eyes were burning with the promise of choked tears already.

           Remus backed up just enough to let Virgil breathe, and he could feel a mix of precum and drool sliding down his chin. He sucked in a breathe before Remus was inside again, and his eyes rolled back to stare up at Remus, glassy and grateful. It went on like this, drooling and gagging and the occasional hissed praise from Remus while Virgil spun out into the warm, safe headspace where he could forget himself.

Remus reached down and took a handful of Virgil’s hair, pulling him backward. Virgil whined in complaint, Remus’ cock sliding against his cheek as he slowly lifted his face; he knew what Remus wanted, and he opened his mouth, letting his tongue loll out as Remus spat into his mouth.

           “How’s it taste, Virgil?”

           “So fucking good. Thank you, thank you,” Virgil slurred open-mouthed. He made a show of swallowing, tossing his head back.

Remus leaned down to licked Virgil’s bottom lip before capturing his mouth in a deep, possessive kiss that left Virgil breathless. He broke it and stood back up and Virgil leaned back, opening his mouth again to beg silently, knowing he was already a mess of drool and tears, beautiful and destroyed.

           “Hungry tonight aren’t you, Emo?” Remus chuckled, his cock sliding back into Virgil’s mouth, sweet on his tongue as Remus made his first thrust, cutting off Virgil’s ability to breathe or even swallow. He looked down at Virgil, combing his hair back again. Virgil met his eyes, lost in Remus’ commanding gaze.

           The racing of his heart replaced any of the unpleasant tightness in his chest, and Virgil fully relaxed when Remus reached down to place his hand on the side of Virgil’s neck, pressing against the bulge from outside. Virgil’s eyes rolled back and he closed them, melting away into sensation and heat, more of a plaything for Remus than a functioning being—and that’s how Virgil wanted it for now. Forgetting everything outside of this room, the sounds and tastes and smells of sex were like a merciful smokescreen.

           And then Virgil felt the familiar signals, throbbing and lost rhythm, and he groaned in his chest, anticipating what was coming—literally. Remus always came so much, and Virgil could almost never swallow it all at once, but he always tried. After a few spurts Remus pulled back and shot across Virgil’s face while the anxious side eagerly swallowed what was in his mouth, “Yes Remus please give it to me, give me more, want to taste you!”

           Remus growled as he thrust back into Virgil’s mouth and down his throat. Once. Twice, and then he pulled out, connected by a line of thick spit to Virgil’s wet lips. He knelt then, reaching to wrap his hand to palm Virgil through his pants. Virgil groaned and humped against Remus’ hand while the creative side cleaned his face, licking away the hot stripes of his spend. Remus captured his lips in a commanding kiss and Virgil got another mouthful of cum. He jerked in Remus’ grip as he came, choking as he swallowed and cried out at the same time. Remus muttered gentle nonsense as he rubbed Virgil through his orgasm and beyond, toying with the wet spot on Virgil’s jeans.

           “Th-thank-“ Virgil stammered.

           Remus stood and pulled Virgil to his feet, helping him to the bed where he was nestled in a pile of abandoned vellum and leather and silk. Remus kissed him on the nose and then gently stripped Virgil, “How about a nice hot springs full of demon octopi? Doesn’t that sound nice?”

           “More demon octopi?” Virgil hummed with a smile. “I’d love that.”

           Remus swept him up and sunk out, reappearing in one of his little corners of the imagination where the air was heavy with steam. Virgil sighed as he was lowered into hot water, muscles he didn’t know were tense melted into warm butter. “Anything else, Emo? A drink?”

           Virgil stretched, “I wouldn’t say no to a pineapple juice.”

           “Good idea, keep tasting sweet for me,” Remus mused, conjuring a glass and handing it to Virgil.

           Virgil sank into the sensation as several red tentacles found his legs, waist and chest in a deep—astoundingly innocent—massage. He let his head fall back, “Thank you, Remus, so much.”

           “For you, anything.”

 ---

           Virgil squirmed when his hand alone wasn’t enough, frustrating and disappointing as he rutted in his bed, mussing his black sheets. The memory of a thousand touches only made him want more, and he grabbed his sweaty pillow and threw it across the room, not comforted in the least by his little outburst. He kicked off his shoes, struggling with his jeans and underwear but not bothering with his hoodie. He was pulled so perfectly between arousal and frustration that his hand moved of its own volition, squeezing and twisting in hopes of finding some sensation that would push past the plateau where he hovered in sensual agony.

           Finally Virgil made himself stop just long enough to reach for the nightstand and yank open the drawer, fetching the toy he kept there. It was tapered, but it couldn’t compare to Remus’ size—or dexterity. He set it on his stomach and reached back for the lube, popping it open. He arched his back to get two slicked fingers into himself. The prep was quick, unceremonious and then he lubed up the toy, rolling onto his side and moaning involuntarily at the feel of it pressed at his entrance. He rocked down against it, deeper each time until it breached him, and he moved it manually then, in and out a few times before he got it positioned just right, turning on the vibrations. It was almost a relief to feel something, although it would never be enough. He cranked it up and his mouth fell open in a silent moan, his hips working as if he could get it deeper by will alone.

           The toy was nowhere near as big as Remus, but when he rocked just right it nudged his prostate in a familiar way, and his body remembered as much as his mind—unfortunately his body remembered all too well exactly what it was missing. The girth, the weight and the heat. He wondered what Remus would say, watching him whine and writhe like an emptyheaded—and empty-assed—slut. He’d no doubt have a comment, and Virgil was almost glad the creative side wasn’t there to see him. There was no way—horny and even a little homesick in a super fucked up way—that he’d be able to resist Remus’ offers even though Deceit had made it very clear that Remus was on his side of the line in the sand.  

           Pushing bad memories away, Virgil let himself think about Remus’ cock, and the cold jab of Deceit faded—for the night, at least. The anxious side had always been a size queen; Remus wasn’t just enough to bulge his throat, and memories of the tight tug inside made him chew his bottom lip. He slipped his free hand down to his stomach where he would be able to feel Remus pushing, bumping into his palm with every thrust, knocking the breath—and several filthy words—out of him. He gasped now as if he could feel it, and his body shook, his eyes burning as he squeezed them shut, pressing a fist to his mouth. He wanted to be shamelessly loud, but shameless was never really Virgil’s specialty, even back then.          

 ---

           Virgil glanced around in the dim light as Remus tugged him along by his hand; they had snuck upstairs into the livingroom where Deceit forbade them to go. The sharp jaws of adrenaline had him by the throat, and fight or flight melted into nothing when Remus turned to face him, “Clothes off, Emo.”

           Virgil shed his clothes tossing them in a pile on the floor as Remus magicked his own away, pulling Virgil in by the back of his neck. The kiss was feral, teeth and tongues and Virgil dug his blunt nails into Remus’ chest. When Remus pushed him to the couch, Virgil stammered, “H-how long do you think we have?”

           Remus shrugged, “Deceit won’t be looking for us until tomorrow if we’re lucky.”

           “I mean… the others.”

           “You mean those light sides?” Remus purred. “Why? Want them to watch?”

           Virgil blushed and the humiliation sent a pleasant spark through his body, but the time for talking was over—temporarily anyway. He moved into position on his knees, arms crossed to brace him against the arm of the couch. He relaxed into the position, trying to calm his racing heart until the touch of Remus’ hand on his back calmed him. Remus’ cock moved up against his own, a reminder of just how big he was, and Virgil reached down to stroke it lazily as Remus prepped him. Tentacles had never appealed to Virgil before he’d started things with Remus, but now the way it pressed into his touches and writhed like a sentient being—perhaps it was—was more than sexy, it was endearing, and Virgil couldn’t help the soft smile that stretched his lips. Remus was leaking precum already, much wetter than Virgil could get without at least a little assplay, and it made Virgil’s hand slick and sticky.  

           Remus pulled back then and Virgil almost complained, but then Remus’ cock was stretching him open and he let out a low, shuddering moan as he wrapped his hand around his own cock. The heavy member was undulating, writhing, massaging Virgil in all of the right ways, and he moaned into the couch arm, stroking himself slowly. It was more habit and comfort than out of a need to cum; when Remus was splitting him, there was no chance that he wouldn’t have an orgasm, sometimes multiple and often without much substantial warning. Then Remus was bottoming out, and Virgil could feel him so deep that he lowered his hand to his stomach where a familiar bulge was, crawling underneath his skin, “Fuck, Remus.”

           “Isn’t it nice?” Remus purred. “Stretching you, filling you up like the hungry little slut you are. How’s it feel, Emo?”

           “It’s… it’s—good!” Virgil hiccupped as Remus moved, drawing almost all the way out before snapping his hips forward and sinking back in, and the bulge retreated and returned, sending another ache of arousal through Virgil’s cock. “You know it’s good.”

           “I like when you say it,” Remus said, settling into a staggered rhythm to keep Virgil guessing. “Besides, what else are we going to talk about?”

           Virgil’s eyes rolled back and he bit his lip, letting out a nervous giggle, “The w-weather?”

           “Too boring,” Remus said, smacking Virgil’s ass. “Unless you want me to conjure a tornado or something. I think we should talk about getting caught, don’t you? Those sticks in the mud won’t know what to do, seeing me fuck you in their space like this. I bet Patton will just fucking die right then and there. My brother will be jealous because he’ll never get close to anything as gorgeous as you, isn’t that right, Emo?”

           Virgil yelped at a particularly deep thrust and the words spilled from him, “Remus we’re gonna… gonna get caught.”

           “Telling me you wouldn’t like that? The looks on their faces?” Remus growled, tangling his fingers in Virgil’s hair and yanking his head back.

           “I… I don’t know,” Virgil panted, too ashamed of the real answer.

           Remus ran the nails of his free hand down Virgil’s back, “That’s what I thought. You like being my pretty little whore, don’t you? You’d love for me to show you off.”

           “Shit,” Virgil growled, because it was true, and sometimes it terrified Virgil just how easily Remus could read him.

           “You never disappoint, Emo,” Remus said. “And you always say all of my favorite words.”

           “I haven’t said twatwaffle one time,” Virgil said, a smile on his lips.

           Remus laughed, leaning down to kiss the back of Virgil’s neck, then up behind his ear; Remus got sweet when Virgil made him laugh. Deceit had told Virgil once it was the way to his heart—but that wasn’t where Virgil was aiming, so he shivered and pushed himself back into Remus’ thrusts. “Somebody’s impatient.”

           “Come on, Remus,” Virgil said, as sweet and subby as he’d ever been. “Please give me your cock, please fuck me hard. It’s so good I want more, want everything.”

           Remus growled in his throat and took Virgil’s bait, though he was far from trapped; he shoved Virgil’s face into the arm of the couch roughly and fucked into him with a renewed domination that made Virgil’s cock jump and leak and ache with arousal. “Is this what you want?”

           “Yes,” Virgil muttered into the fabric. Remus’ nails were back in his back and he choked out a cry, “Yes! Yes please!”      

           Remus bit into Virgil’s shoulder as he came, and Virgil could feel it, hot and thick and there was a lot, filling him up like he’d begged for. He sobbed and barely had time to process the sensation before he himself was cumming, dirtying the couch under them and managing to milk more from Remus in the process until they were both rutting and growling like animals—and maybe animals is what they were. Remus pulled out and Virgil could feel the spend tickling down his inner thigh before Remus nudged him forward and he lifted his ass higher into the air, lowering his face into the couch cushions.

           Remus’ tongue was hot and probably longer than it should be, but the way it felt had Virgil rocking back while the creative side sucked the cum out of him. When Remus pulled back Virgil whimpered, but soon he was being pushed onto his back and his mouth fell open. He looked up into Remus’ eyes, lolling out his tongue. Remus’ eyes darkened and he let the cum drool down into Virgil’s waiting mouth. Virgil’s eyes rolled back as the sensation fought against his own refractory period, and his cock gave a lazy twitch. Once he’d taken everything Remus offered, he rolled it around his mouth, curling his tongue at the corner of his mouth before finally closing and swallowing.            

           “Such a good boy”, Remus cooed, swiping his thumb through the cum that had escaped at the corner of Virgil’s mouth. He pressed his thumb into Virgil’s mouth and the anxious side eagerly sucked it clean, floating on the cloud of praise.

           “Thank you,” Virgil said again, softer and with a deeper, warmer meaning. He stretched then reached up for Remus.

           Remus lowered himself to kiss Virgil, quick and chaste—if anything they did could be called chaste. Virgil melted into the affection and let himself be held. The couch wasn’t particularly deep, but Remus managed to maneuver them into a comfortable spooning position, pulling Virgil against his chest. The beating of Remus’ heart and the sound of their breathing as it slowed to normal brought Virgil down gently, and when he’d had enough, he squirmed in Remus’ arms, turning onto his back as much as he could without falling off of the couch.

           Remus watched Virgil’s face, prompting the anxious side to smile, “I’m good, just gonna take another second. You should go make sure Deceit’s not looking for us.”

           “Perish the thought,” Remus said sarcastically, but he smiled as he climbed over Virgil to stand. “I’ll go make sure Snake Daddy is none the wiser.”

           Virgil stretched out, licking his lips clean for the final time as Remus sank out. He sat up slowly, careful to wave away the wet spot before he grabbed his pants, pulling them on. Dressing wasn’t easy on shaky legs, but that made it more satisfying, especially layered with the possibility of getting caught.

           As if on cue, Virgil’s ears caught the smallest drag of a shoe on the carpet. He spun around, eyes searching the darkness around him for a threat. Roman stood in the darkened doorway, hand on the hilt of his sword; his hair and eyes made it clear he’d probably been asleep—maybe at his desk the way Remus did sometimes. He was pretty, Virgil couldn’t deny that—dashing, maybe, but a poor imitation of Remus. The prince met Virgil’s eyes and Virgil hesitated, staring at the other side before pulling up his hood and sinking into the floor.

 ---

           Suddenly the deep vibrations were too much, and Virgil cried out, reaching back to turn it off and take it out. He was shaking, unsure whether it was the memory of Remus or Roman that had caused the sudden spike. Virgil huffed in frustration, and his straining cock regained his attention. He couldn’t stop now just because he was trying to deny a possible partial crush on his old fuck buddy’s twin brother. Wrapping his hand back around himself, Virgil tried to slip away, find another memory to turn himself on just that last little bit. After three minutes of desperate self-searching, Virgil sighed, “Fuck.”

           He let that little mental block fade away, and the memory turned to fantasy, and the thrill of it zinged up into his chest and down to his toes, making them curl. He worked himself a bit slower, letting things play out.

---

           Virgil locked eyes with Roman, in the dark, and Roman’s nose wrinkled, just a little, because he knew. The prince unsheathed his sword, stepping forward and holding it to Virgil’s throat, “Care to explain yourself, foul fiend?”

           Virgil took a half-step back and sank to his knees; Roman looked pleased with himself, but his mouth fell open in surprise when Virgil nuzzled his cock through his pants. He tensed, but rather than taking a step back, he sheathed his sword and rested his hand on the back of Virgil’s head. Virgil undid Roman’s pants easily, pulling his cock free and covering it in kisses and kitten licks until the Prince was fully hard and pushing at the back of Virgil’s head. Virgil hummed and took Roman into his mouth and down his throat. He tasted nothing like Remus, none of the tingling magic eldritch qualities, but more like a man with impeccable hygiene who also spends the better part of his days trapesing through enchanted forests, earthy and spiced and—for lack of a better term—masculine.

           Roman growled, and Virgil gagged when he thrust forward, holding Virgil in place. Whether it was warped hate, or Roman was just naturally rough, Virgil was lost in it. He managed to pull back when Roman allowed him to breathe, “Fuck!”

           Roman smirked, “What’s the matter, Anxiety? Too big?”

           Virgil laughed breathlessly, rocking back onto his heels and standing. He stripped off his clothes and moved to the couch, reaching to brace himself on the couch arm. Strong hands took his hips and moved him like he was weightless, and before Virgil knew it he was on his back with Roman slotted between his legs. He closed his eyes tightly and turned his face away. “What are you looking at?”

           Roman snorted, and lips on Virgil’s collarbone made his bottom lip tremble, “Where’d that brave little monster go?”

           Virgil bristled and leaned up, capturing Roman’s lips in a rough kiss and biting down on his bottom lip. Roman tangled his fingers into Virgil’s hair and pulled. Virgil gasped when Roman broke the kiss and looked down to line himself up. “Fuck yeah give it to me,” Virgil whispered, following the Prince’s actions with eager eyes.

           Roman hesitated for a moment, spitting in his palm and running it hastily over his cock before slipping inside. Virgil threw his head back as it spun, Roman’s cock pushing in while he was still slicked up inside. He met Roman’s eyes, and groaned, “That’s his… it’s your brother’s cum. You know that right? Can you feel it?”

Roman’s nose wrinkled, but more in anger than disgust, and he spat in Virgil’s face, making Virgil moan like a shameless whore as he arched his back. Roman’s first proper thrust was rough, fast and it knocked him out of the fantasy completely.

           ----

           The orgasm was heavy and sudden, like a punch to the chest and Virgil panted as he wrung himself out, his free hand fisting in the sheets, “Jesus, Princey,” Virgil muttered into the stillness.

           Well and truly overstimulated, his nerves singing like they always did, but without the comforting warmth and weight of another body. He ran his fingers through the spend on his stomach, savoring the sight as yet another wave of nostalgia rolled over him, weaker than the others, but undeniably present as Virgil sucked his fingers clean, sighing at the rapidly-fading sex high.

Virgil heard a familiar sound and turned his head to look at the door, opened just a crack, “You just gonna watch again?”

           Roman moved forward, pushing the door open further with his foot. He was of course more put together than the night they saw one another in the dark living room. Not quite the picture of smirking valiance Virgil imagined, not a hero looking to dominate a villain. Nonetheless, the Prince looked willing, and Virgil was ready to move on and make new memories, as painful as it could be to accept change. What did he have to lose?

[puppyexpressions]

Dog Bucket List: 45 Fun Things to Do With Your Dog to Make Him Happy

It’s not for nothing that our furry friends are often referred to as human’s best friend. They’re incredibly loyal, caring and earnest, and their love is unconditional like no other. Thus, it’s only fair we also treat our doggies like they’re our best friends; it’s a spot they’ve rightfully earned, after all. And that means there’s so much more we could be doing together with our dogs to make them (and you) happy beyond the basics. That’s why I have put together this fun bucket list of things to do with your dog, so that you and your furry best friend can get into some awesome dog-friendly activities together!

1. ✧ Stay at a Pet-Friendly Hotel

There are plenty of places where your pooch is welcome to stay, just do a simple search for pet-friendly accommodations. You will find hotels and log cabins, as well as a cottages and cute glamping tents. Pick one and have a memorable getaway with your pup.

2. ✧ Learn a New Trick

Depending on how long you’ve been training him, your pup likely already knows how to play fetch and roll over. Those are just the most basic of tricks that you could teach him though. There is also the army crawl, the salute, and the handstand which can leave other owners impressed once your doggy has mastered them.

3. ✧ Dress Up for Halloween

Halloween can be a fun holiday to enjoy together with your pup. The stores are bursting with simple costumes for dogs, like different kinds of cute headbands that’ll easily transform them into a dog-dragon or the like for the night. A quick search for dog costumes on Amazon will pop up a ton of different options as your dog’s costume, such as reindeer ridden by Santa, mail carrier, ghostbuster, dinosaurs, Maleficent, and the list goes on.

And naturally, it is a must to take a million photos of you and your pup in your Halloween outfits for the world to see.

4. ✧ Walk on the Beach

With the summer season well under way, there’s no excuse not to schedule a fun day out frolicking on the sand. There are plenty of dog-friendly beaches around the US that you could visit.

5. ✧ Have a Doggy Birthday Party

You should be able to lookup your pooch’s birthday on his pedigree. But, if your dog is a rescue or doesn’t have an exact birthdate, you can pick a date that’s convenient to you, so he can check off this activity on his dog bucket list. It would be wise to send out your invitations and make the cake early so you won’t end up going crazy over last-minute arrangements.

Don’t forget to buy a cute birthday hat and you can easily bake your own doggie cake with the Wheat-Free Peanut Butter Puppy Cake Mix.

6. ✧ Take Your Dog to Work With You

While not all workplaces allow it, for security, hygiene and other reasons, surprisingly many companies these days allow for their employees to bring their dog to work with them. And why not? A furry friend in the office makes the working day so much more fun and breezy!

Your dog will also enjoy the extra time spent with you, not to mention all the attention they’ll be getting throughout the day from your colleagues who won’t be able to keep their hands off from petting your doggy.

7. ✧ Ride in a Convertible

Just like you, your pup loves to feel the wind in his hair when cruising down the highways. The usual coupe or pickup is boring and confining though, so go on a drive in a convertible instead. Accessorize with cool sunglasses (like the QUMY dog goggles) as you bask in the sun and you will feel like celebrities who have all the time in the world.

8. ✧ Go Shopping Together at a Dog-friendly Store

Shopping no longer has to be an activity that you love to do but need to leave your furry bestie home for! Although certain stores, such as supermarkets, continue to be quite inaccessible to dogs, a wider range of stores accepting dogs, outside of pet shops, are beginning to arise all over. Just check online before you get going on your epic shopping trip!

9. ✧ Stand Up Paddle Board

If you haven’t already noticed, a stand-up paddle board just happens to fit more than one person, you can easily have room for a smaller sized dog. Honestly, teaching your pet to SUP may be one of the more challenging things to do on this list, but in the end it’ll be so much fun to paddle down a scenic river or on a smooth lake.

10. ✧ Do a Police Car Ride Along

Another one for extra special dog activities–for both you and the dog–is to go on a ride along in a police car. It can’t get much more exciting than that! It’s also totally safe to do, giving you a ton of first hand insight on what it’s actually like to be a police officer for a day.

11. ✧ Play Frisbee

If your dog already knows how to fetch a stick or a ball, it can be easy to advance a level with a Frisbee. Though Fido might have some difficulty with catching a flying disc at first, this is one thing to do with your dog that will require a little patience.

You can easily find a frisbee on Amazon, but the KONG Classic Flyer is one of the best-rated across the board.

12. ✧ Sleep on the Bed

Sleeping on the bed can be such a treat for your pooch, but don’t give into the temptation too much or they won’t sleep in their own dog bed! Some dogs will even chew up their beds so that they can spend more time on your bed—a very smart trick. Everybody knows that having your pooch lie in your bed with you is one of the best feelings in the world for you (and him), but once they start snoring, it might be time to kick them out of the bedroom!

13. ✧ Watch the Puppy Bowl

As tempting as it might be to switch the channel to watch your favorite American football teams going at each other, Super Bowl Sunday is the best time for you to binge-watch the Puppy Bowl with your pooch. Not only will you see puppies, but also other cute animal “tweeters” and “commentators”. You never know, you might find that squealing at fluffy furballs is a more enjoyable annual thing to do than screaming at sweaty athletes.

14. ✧ Have Breakfast in Bed

Is it your pup’s birthday? Or perhaps just a rainy and gloomy morning where you could both use a little pick me up? Having breakfast in bed together, all the while cuddling and maybe catching something comforting on the TV, sounds like a great way to treat yourself – and your pupper!

If you’re skilled with your hands and in the kitchen, try to whip up a breakfast that looks like you’re both having the same thing, but will be totally safe for your furry friend to eat. Some ideas for a dog friendly breakfast are cauliflower muffin bites, pancake puffs or these mini omelettes. Perhaps you’d like to enjoy the same treats for your breakfast – or at least the human version of them?

15. ✧ Take a Nap Together

Although a simple activity, apart from a good and long walk around the neighborhood, this is what you and your pup will love to do together the most! If possible, why not make it a regular thing even? It’s such an excellent way for both of you to recharge your batteries mid-day. So cuddle up and get to snoozing!

16. ✧ Visit a Nursing Home

There’s no denying the fact that playing with dogs can be therapeutic, especially to those who live in nursing homes. This is because friendly canines can encourage residents to leave the confines of their room and to recover faster from surgery or a stroke. Watching the older generation having fun with your pet is always worth the effort of driving to your nearest care home and it will be such a rewarding thing to do for everyone.

17. ✧ Eat a Gourmet Meal

I have eaten many incredible meals at memorable restaurants in my lifetime, but finding a restaurant that serves gourmet meals for dogs can be a challenge. Sometimes, it would be better off to prepare the food yourself, which should be fairly easy to do. There are several delicious dog friendly recipes on the web that can be easy to make, like peanut butter cookies, gourmet whole wheat dog biscuits and chicken jerky. 

18. ✧ Have a Steak Dinner

If breakfast in bed sounds like it could get messy or complicated really quick, you can’t go wrong with a steak dinner. And since your dog actually can eat the same dish as you this time around—though they may prefer it on the raw side—it’s an especially fun ‘date night’ between you and your best friend. Your doggie doesn’t need much more than a juicy hunk of meat to feel special and loved, and you’ll love to share a good steak with them, too.

19. ✧ Get a Doggy Massage

You’re not the only one who can benefit from a trip to the spa every once in a while; your canine friend can too! Many owners believe that a doggy massage can help to provide strengthened immunity, increased circulation, stress relief and improved digestion in their pets. You may not be able to get him a Thai massage, but definitely something more gentle will be available for your deserving best friend. So, schedule an appointment with your nearest animal massage parlor today to give your pup a well-deserved break after a hard day at the park of learn how to massage your dog yourself.

20. ✧ Get a ‘Pawicure” (AKA: Doggie Manicure)

Unlike us humans, our dogs probably don’t appreciate getting their nails cut as much as we do. But if you make an event of it, you might survive through it with less hassle. Google around for shops in your local area where you can go get a pawicure at, or follow these instructions to pamper and groom your pup from the comfort of your home. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to treat yourself to a mani-pedi as well!

21. ✧ Play Hide n’ Seek

Well, a dog friendly version of hide n’ seek, at least! Your pup may not understand the rules of the original hide and seek, but if you play it in a way that your dog can enjoy and easily follow the rules, you’ll both end up having a great time.

In the dog friendly version, instead of ordering your dog to go hide, or hiding yourself, you’ll hide his or hers favorite toy. Start with easy hiding spots and, as your pet gets the gist, you can increase the difficulty of where you hide the toy.

22. ✧ Play in the Leaves

Cleaning up your yard from the fallen leaves just got a whole lot more fun with the pup joining in on the game. You might not get a lot of actual work done, but you’ll get plenty of laughter out of it! And if you don’t have a yard, find a park or equivalent where there’ll be leaves to play around in.

23. ✧ Play Sock Tug-of-War

Got a pair of socks to spare? Tug-of-War is a fun game that you’ll be able to enjoy together, and you don’t even need to let your pup win! All you need are some socks that have seen their best days. You can play either with one simple sock, or you can use your socks to build a homemade version of a tug toy. If you don’t have some old socks, get him a squeaky sock monkey instead.

24. ✧ Be the Star in a Dog Calendar

Lots of organizations make calendars where owners can proudly display their pooches. The requirements for getting your pet in on the action can vary from place to place. Some clubs make it a contest to find suitable cover dogs while others are willing to print submissions. With companies like Shutterfly it’s also possible to create your own calendar with your favorite photos.

25. ✧ Swim in the Ocean

If Rover doesn’t already know how to swim, now is the best time for you to teach him. To make the training process easier and safer, make the necessary preparations such as providing clean water to drink, bringing a flotation vest, and establishing rest areas with a lot of shade. Start in a shallow part of the water then just coax him in farther with a toy or a treat. Using a positive tone of voice and giving lots of verbal praise can go a long way too. The Teaching Your Dog to Swim video with help you out!

26. ✧ Warm Up in Front of the Fire

This is an ultimate way for a human to cozy up on a cold evening, especially after a few hours spent outdoors getting your cheeks red in chilly weather. But you can count on your pooch to enjoy it every bit as much as you; the heat of the burning flames will warm him up, too, and it’s a great moment to spend together with you. Lay a towel, mat or a blanket on the floor, sit down and instruct your pup to come sit next to you, then wrap another blanket around the both of you, and enjoy some relaxing time together. 

27. ✧ Play in the Sprinklers

Owning a lawn can do more than just boost the curb appeal of your home. It also gives you plenty of opportunities to frolic with the furballs, particularly when you have a sprinkler system installed. Take note though that some doggies find it more interesting to chew, bite or dig your sprinklers so you might want to buy a few sprinkler toys,  like an inflatable shallow pool sprinkler or the crazy Tidal Storm Hydro spinning sprinkler that will have him entertained for hours!

28. ✧ Play With Your Favorite Toy Together

Every pup has a toy that they love and adore more than any other. It may be one that the doggy can enjoy playing with by herself, but it’s also one of the easiest things to do with your dog – and she’ll totally love having a buddy to pay with!

29. ✧ Have a Doggie Play Date

If you’ve noticed that your pup seems to want playmates of his own species, you can find him one by setting up play dates with other people’s pooches. This shouldn’t be a problem when you know a few pet owners in your area, but if you don’t you can search for one in dog parks or at doggy daycares. Should you decide to meet outside of those places, do it in neutral territory as you don’t want to end up having to break up any fights.

30. ✧ March in a Parade

Did you know that, especially around the holidays, there are dog parades arranged all around the country? How much fun does that sound like?! Your pup will get to don a costume and you’ll have a blast walking in the crowds, making new friends, both human and the four-legged kind. As parades are quite hectic, you may want to do some preparing and training with the pupper to get ready for the big day and have it go over smoothly and successfully.

31. ✧ Romp Around in the Snow

Although the winter time may feel cold and uncomfortable for going out for walks, there’s plenty of fun that can be had when there’s some snow on the ground. You’ll likely get to take the lead, but your pup will have the best time romping and jumping around in the snow with you, especially if you live in a region where you regularly get loads of it.

32. ✧ Hike a National Park

Generally, pets are permitted in National Parks (check each ones website to be sure!) but they typically have to be restrained on a leash not exceeding 6 feet in length. There are several reasons behind this NPS policy but the main point is to protect your dog along with park resources. To avoid any mishaps, remember to maintain proper trail etiquette including observing the rules for the right-of-way.

33. ✧ Have a Social Media Fanpage

You’ve probably heard of Boo the Pomeranian who has over 17 million fans on Facebook. Just like him, your pooch can become a social media superstar too! Start by taking lots of fun photos of your furry pal and post them on Twitter, Pinterest or Instagram. Or possibly even start a travel blog for your dog, but make sure you don’t make the beginning blogging mistakes I did! Take note to update the page on a regular basis and if there’s a high cuteness factor you should see the list of followers grow.

34. ✧ Take a Picture with Santa

A bit of a controversial opinion to some, but as a dog owner, at least one reading through this list, you definitely think of them as part of your family. Specifically, as one of the youngsters in the household. And therefore, getting a picture of the pup with Santa becomes a memory you’ll want to have and to keep!

35. ✧ Attend the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show

There is no better way to show off your amazing canine friend than by having him join this prestigious dog show. Apparently, cuteness alone won’t cut it in the big leagues though so you have to focus on improving other aspects such as cosmetic features and structure. This gives you all the more reason to drop by the animal spa every now and then, doesn’t it?

36. ✧ Try Something New Together

New ways to spend time together with our puppies keeps being thought of, so there will be plenty for you to choose from and try out to find the activities you and your dog will enjoy. Have you ever gone roller blading together? Or tried out dog yoga? Search Google a bit for some suggestions, possibly even list down all the best sounding ideas, and get started on trying out those new things to do with your dog!

37. ✧ Go on a Picnic

Some days you just want to relax rather than chase after Fido. The problem is that it’s highly unlikely that your pet will want to stay still for a long period of time. A picnic is the best way for you to meet in the middle. As he romps around in the grass, you can chow on some cake and roll on the blanket.

38. ✧ Dine on the Patio of a Dog Friendly Restaurant

When the weather gets great, you’ll want to meet with your friends for some great brunch or dinner on a gorgeous patio of one of your favorite restaurants. What about, if the restaurant is also a dog friendly spot, you took your pup with you the next time? It’ll be a fun experience and memory for both of you to have, and if it goes well you might want to even make it a regular thing, perhaps with just the two of you.  

39. ✧ Go Camping

Want to embark on a camping adventure in the wild but don’t want to leave Spot behind? No problem-just bring him along! That is, if he is trained well enough to handle the activity. If he barks a lot or tends to snatch food from other people, you will want to rethink your camping plans.

The How to Camp With Your Dog article will help to get you wilderness ready, and the check out these pet friendly campgrounds around the world.

40. ✧ Be an Extra in a Movie

Whether it’s just your pretty pup, or the both of you together, it’s surprisingly easy to find a spot for an extra in a movie (or a TV show). It’s also rather easy and simple thing to do, so there’s no need to worry about how to be an extra in a movie or that it’d be too much for the pup to handle. Instead, it could be quite fun and will serve as a unique opportunity and activity – and not just to you but to the doggy as well!

41. ✧ Go to a Dog Park

It can be a whole lot of fun to get your furry friend to socialize with other pets at a dog park. However, you need to have established a calm-assertive leadership over him by then. With this, along with remaining vigilant, you can rest assured that your dog will not become a fight magnet. For an extra addition to you dog park bucket list visit these 10 Amazing Dog Parks You Need to See in Your Lifetime.

42. ✧ Take a Boat Ride

Now that you’re done swimming in the ocean, you’ll want to drop by a lake too for a ride on a boat. But you have to realize that not all dogs may enjoy the experience. What you need to do is get him acclimated to the boat before the trip to minimize his distress about not having his feet planted on solid ground.

43. ✧ Take Obedience Classes

Even if your pup isn’t quite as bad as Marley from Marley & Me, no harm will come from taking some obedience classes. In fact, it may teach you things about your dog on a new level. And, additionally, it will also be of aid in committing to the other dog activities on this bucket list, with the pup as obedient and polished as can be.

44. ✧ Do Doga (Dog Yoga)

Now that you’ve ticked massages off the dog bucket list, you should also give doga a go. Though you may not be able to find a doggy yoga retreat and hot Bikram yoga is out of the question, doga is not limited to just doing a variety of poses together. It may also include eye-gazing to enhance the human-canine bond. Overall, it’s an experience that can help both of you to relax.

45. ✧ Eat a Doggy Ice Cream

OK, maybe you won’t want to switch to eating doggy ice cream yourself and instead stick to your regular flavors of Ben & Jerry’s. But thanks to the great creation of doggy ice cream, your beloved pup can now join in on enjoying the icy treat together with you. You can find sometimes find doggy ice cream at the freezer section of the supermarket, or you might want to try your own hand at making some?

These fun dog activities should definitely keep you busy and active with some of the best things to do with your dog. Try them out to see what makes him or her happiest, then you can keep repeating and rotating between the best ones! Most of all, have a blast going through this bucket list together with your best friend!

[thebluemc]

This is Yosuke Tadaaki! He’s in class 2A and his quirk is called spider.

He’s actually very upbeat and energetic. He tries his hardest to be everyone’s friend, though does have insecurities since a lot people find him unnerving due to his quirk. He actually has 5 eyes, but covers them in hopes of calming others.

Yosuke can climb any surface, use his spider legs to run faster, shoot/make web from the tips of his spider limbs, can see in the dark, and has pretty good hearing.

Some fun facts:

He can suck any fruit dry, leaving just the skin. His favorite are oranges.

Instead of a bed, his room has a big web he sleeps on. It just feels unsafe to him to sleep on the floor.

He has chew toys he uses when nervous or focusing.

Does have venom, but it’s useless unless your a guinea pig or smaller

I ship him with Koji Koda

Base here: https://www.deviantart.com/lovewhile/art/Curious-Base-F2U-698412276

[revchainsaw]

Sonic: The Hedgehog (2020)

Sonic: The Hedgehog (2020)

Greeting my flock of film freaks and welcome again to the Cult of Cult. Todays offering is a bit more of the mainstream blockbuster variety, but as films based on Video Games are still actually quite niche and vastly underestimated I think we should open our hearts to Sonic: The Hedgehog and hope that we find it a pleasing tithe to the cult. I am your beloved minster, The Reverend Chainsaw, and welcome to today’s service.

The Message

I must confess to the congregation that I was drinking mighty heavily of the lord’s Tennessee sour mash when I was taking in this movie. That said, I think that this is a great movie to have a drink with and I mean that in the best possible way. 

Sonic: The Hedgehog is of course based on the Sega video game franchise and stars Ben Schwartz as the titular blue rat. Schwartz brings his brand of high energy enthusiastic comedy to the voice role. While Schwartz is particularly on brand for Schwartz, is he on brand for Sonic? I’m not entirely sure, but I’m also not entirely sure I was ever in love with the old ways. I am not an avid fan or consumer of Sonic media and perhaps that means I am in a poor position to say. I am most familiar with the Sega games and Sonic cartoons from the 90s, and from what I have grasped the more recent entries with their more anime centric and high lore plots still owe quite a bit to the attitude era of the 90s. Sonic was a hero but he was also a bit of a cross between Mickey Mouse, the Flash, and Bart Simpson. As an angsty 90s boy I wanted to eat chili dogs and go very fast that was very appealing to me, but I’m not so sure it would be appealing to a vast audience of older millennials, or even todays kids. And though I think it would be a fair criticism to say that Ben Schwartz is playing sonic as basically the superhero version of his Dewey Duck from the VERY VERY good DuckTales reboot, I don’t think that it’s necessarily a bad thing. 

Dewey Duck the Hedgehog is a small mammal (also not a rodent, I wanted to say rodent and apparently hedgehogs are not rodents, just googled it) from an alien planet where his adoptive mother, an owl named Long Claw, fears that he will be hunted for his special powers, which I think is just super speed but it might be other things. In line with these concerns after an attack by pursuers Longclaw gives Sonic the Moses treatment and floats the special blue boy down the metaphorical river. Unlike Moses, however, Sonic is not found by ultra rich ultra powerful extra special people but is instead alone. Sonic lives alone in exile outside a small American town as a sort of local cryptid.

Thus begins a charming adventure. Through a poor decision to use his powers while working out some personal issues, Sonic inadvertantly draws the attention of the U.S Government and their nasty big brain baddy Dr. Robotnik. Sonic recruits a small town police officer with big city dreams to assist him in finding his magic rings so that he might flee from earth to an uninhabited mushroom kingdom. 

Now about these two human characters. Officer Everyman is played by cyclops from the X-men franchise. The actors name escapes me and so does the characters, and while, yes, I just looked up if hedgehogs were rodents, I will not be looking up this information. I like the review better this way. It makes me laugh. And while I don’t remember his name, I do remember that he used to live In Mt. Juliet, TN.  Anyway, what you should know about Officer Goodguy is that he drives a Toyota Tacoma!

That Toyota Tacoma is also continuously abused by the mad machinations of our films biggest draw: Jim Carey as Dr. Robotnik. If we were to pitch a Sonic movie, I don’t think anyone would jump to Jim Carey as the must have for the role, but after seeing this film, boy was it the best choice. The way he chews the scenery and plays off the rest of the cast and situations is just so much fun to watch. It’s fantastic to see Jim Carey back in a larger than life role. The Decision to play Jim Carey as the kind of condescending nerd who has taken their lack of social skills and leaned in as opposed to working on themselves was a brilliant choice. We’ve all known that kind of guy who tries to play the misanthrope just because they are too egotistical to recognize their flaws. Here Dr. Robotnik has given up on human connection in favor of subordination. His intellect is his only value, and thus he demands everyone around him acknowledge intellect as the only quality that matters as he has. It was a great choice.

From the point the chase begins the film becomes a road trip flick, and despite the fact that Sonic could supposedly cover the distance required in the blink of an eye we watch the ins and outs of our heroes relationship as they learn what home, and being a hero mean to them. By the climax it is pretty by the numbers, Sonic has come to feel at home on Earth and now that he has friends who care for him they can begin to make a world from which neither will have to flee; and of course, they beat the bad guy. FOR NOW. we are treated to an even crazier Dr. Robotnik stranded in the Fungus Dimension bent on revenge.

The Benediction

Now for all things Holy and Profane in this film, please rise for the Benediction.

Best Scandal: Sonic the Cosmic Horror

The original look of this film was mired in dread when the early footage and trailers dropped revealing a hideously uncanny hedgehog monster in the form of sonic. The memes are amazing, the toys are unsettling, there’s still plenty of Quasimodo Sonic stuff out there floating on the web and I suggest that you search it out, the laughter is good for your heart. Also if anyone wants to send me any creepy sonic merch I’ll take it. 

Thanks to the work of online fans and internet harassments, the studio felt it was going to lose money on the project and reeled back the release allowing for the design department to give us a more cartoony but less frightening alien monster. I mean he’s a cartoon, it’s okay for him to look like a cartoon. 

Best Scene: Noodle Dance

It’s hard to choose, and it feels a bit biased, but there are a few scenes with Dr. Robotnik that are just what make the movie more than a forgettable IP adaptation. Not that Ben Schwartz wasn’t doing great as the character but I feel Sonic as a whole would be lost in the milieu of CG spectacles and Super Hero Origin stories that we are bombarded with every year if not for Jim Carey’s performances; and even with them Sonic: The Hedgehog is not completely out of those woods. That said, I think Dr. Robotnik’s Alone Time Dance Party has to be the stand out sequence in my memory. I can’t really speak to what makes it so enjoyable, but damn if it isn’t just the best scene in the movie.

Best Character: Silicon Valley Dr. Robotnik

Do I even need to say it? It’s Dr. Robotnik. I’m not a fan of this villain from any other media. I always found Dr. Robotniks look unappealing, I’m not a huge fan of his powers, or using robot henchman. it always struck me as pretty boring how Sonic didn’t have a cool rogues gallery (i’m talking about 90s sonic) the way Mario did. However, they did something with the design, characterization, and performance that just made him such a fun villain. Also, my friend Jacksons mom said I looked like him and it didn’t hurt my feelings so.

Best Actor: Jim Carey

Jim Carey. It really seems like he’s all I’m talking about in this movie. Once again, I think Ben Schwartz did great and Sonic IS basically Dewey Duck in this movie. Dewey Duck is my favorite part of the rebooted DuckTales series, BUT he is just outmaneuvered by Jim Carey in this role. I think it’s a compliment enough to say that Ben Schwartz was even able to keep up with his energy, let alone play his quicker perkier foil. 

Worst Scene: Toyota Tacoma Commercial

Sonic: the Hedgehog’s worst scene would probably have to be the forced friend fight between Sonic and Officer Wachowski  during the car chase. It’s an overproduced weightless car chase scene with a contrived buddy cop controversy meant to force apart our heroes so that they can ultimately grow a little and come back together later in the movie. Not that I mind a movie like this to be so by the numbers, but it just felt like two of the blandest things on this movies plate being forced into one scene. I do like the idea of giving me the crap part of the dish in one flavorless generic bite, but that still doesn’t save it from being the worst scene in the movie. 

That Toyota Tacoma took a beating though.

Worst Feature: Nothing Ventured/ Nothing Earned

I’m sure many fans would feel that the worst feature of the film is that it isn’t loyal to any previous lore laden version of the character, (probably the one they like the most). In the portrayals of both Sonic and Dr. Robotnik there were decisions made that drastically differed from the ways they have been portrayed before. Sonic is naïve and idealistic, a bit childish, Dr. Robotnik is driven by a lot of insecurity. Where are the Chaos Crystals and my original character Grindy the Wolf Cub?

But I think that these are over all positive choices in a film that otherwise chose to play it incredibly safe. In their cautious approach to appeal to the widest possible audience the film makers gave us a pleasant and appealing cartoon romp but we are left with little to hold on to. The worst feature of Sonic: The Hedgehog is it’s safety.

Summary:

Sonic: The Hedgehog is often touted as “the first good video game movie”. A label that I disagree with wholeheartedly. It is certainly a good video game movie, but it’s not the first, and it is not by leaps and bounds better than other video game movies as a whole. It’s a sub genre that gets a ton of disrespect, and in a world where the biggest criticism levied against the Super Mario Bros is that it’s not a faithful adaptation, I don’t understand how Sonic the Buddy Cop/ Road Trip comedy is escaping that attitude.

All that said, I had a good time with this movie. But it felt like playing on the playground as a toddler. You have fun and then you leave and you don’t really remember what you played or who with. I’ll think about Jim Carey and Dewey Duck, but I had a hard time hating or loving anything this movie did in any strong way. I usually feel that a movie that is “bad” or “corny” or “shlocky” is always better than a movie that is generic, or pointless, or boring. Sonics pleasantness and cheerful energy just barely save it from being another Transformers franchise. I get that origin stories are hard, so I’m eagerly awaiting the next installment, and hopefully it’s going to do something that sets it apart. Probably not. 

Overall Grade: C

James Marsden! I just remembered!