#but yeah it makes me uncomfortable :/
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GET TO KNOW YOUR TWST OCs (and their relationships)
(Or how I make up excuses to blabber about my OC lol. Most of the "who" questions are aimed at the twst cast, but feel free to include other twst OCs as well!)
Name: What does your twst OC's name mean? Why does Rook/Floyd call them [insert nickname]?
Inspiration: Is your twst OC inspired by any villains? Concepts? Anything Disney-related?
Age/Birthday: How old is your twst OC? When is their birthday? Whose birthday (among the cast) is closest to your twst OC's? Does the horoscope lie or do they get along well?
Dorm: Which dorm is your twst OC in? Why? Which qualities they have make them suitable for said dorm? Do they have a roommate and how is their relationship?
Class: Who is your twst OC's classmate(s)? How would you describe their relationship? Did they have different classmates in previous year and did they get along?
Height: How tall is your twst OC? Are they conscious about their height? Are they close to someone with similar leg length?
Hair/Eye color: What are your twst OC's hair and eye colors? Who got the closest/opposite palette to them?
Homeland: Where is your twst OC from? Do they know anyone from the same hometown prior to NRC?
Club: Which club does your twst OC join and why? Is there anything memorable about the club fair day/their first day at the club? Which clubmate is their favorite?
Subject: What is your twst OC's best subject? Worst? Do they study with another whom excels at the same subject? Do they ask anyone for help with the subject they are bad at?
Hobby: What are your twst OC's hobbies? Who among the cast will they possibly ask to join in their pastime?
Pet peeves: What are your twst OC's pet peeves and which one in the cast accidentally (or not) commit the "crimes"? How will your twst OC deal with that person?
Food: What is your twst OC's favorite and least favorite food? Why (optional)? Is there anyone they can share their favorite food? Is there anyone they can count on to take over the food they dislike?
Talent: What is your twst OC's talent(s) and who can properly appreciate that?
Unique Magic/Signature spell: What is your twst OC's UM (if applicable)? What can they do? What is the incantation? Is there any weaknesses/loopholes and who can exploit those?
Quote: Give me something your twst OC will say. Either something they always say or something iconic they said. Something that helps solve the problems or something that is a catalyst to even more issues.
(Ok I'm kinda running out of ideas here) Personality: Give me 3 adjectives to describe your twst OC. Or an essay. Whichever works. Whose personality among the cast is closest to your twst OC and do they get along?
Backstory: Tell me anything about your twst OC's backstory. Their childhood, their parents, their siblings etc. Does their backstory affect how they are as a character now and how they interact with the cast?
Pick only one: Let your twst OC pick only one and explain the reasons: only one favorite from each dorm, only one favorite housewarden/vice housewarden, only one favorite first/second/third year etc.
(For my beloved yume shippers) Partner: Who do you ship your twst OC with? Are they in a relationship? If yes, how did it start/end? If no, why?
#ask game#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#uh yeah I look around and I couldn't find any basic get-to-know ask game#so yeah hence this happened#it's just kinda an excuse for me to chitchat about Rory but feel free (read: I'd be very glad if you do) to use for your own twst OCs!#of course this is all fun and games so never feel pressured to answer ALL of the questions if you don't want to#it has never been my intention to make anyone uncomfortable#also! feel free to add more questions!#this is very very basic purely expanded from twst character profile#twst ask game#twisted wonderland ask game#oc ask game#original character ask game#twst oc ask game#twisted wonderland oc ask game#get to know#get to know my twst oc#get to know your twst oc
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honestly, i think one of the reasons i can tolerate julian’s early seasons' behaviour towards jadzia is the way he approaches miles in an almost identical way, being annoyingly persistent, desperate for any chance to spend time alone with them, incredibly uncomfortable moments of trying to get miles to use his first name, etc. etc.
and whether I read that as julian having a similar puppy crush on miles as he does on jadzia or interpret it as a platonic desperation to make friends, either way, it at least tells me that for all julians faults (and boy are there plenty to go around—) he at least… isn’t Like That towards jadzia because she’s a woman, y’know? he’s just Like That with everyone because he’s overenthusiastic and lacking in social graces.
like, his behaviour towards jadzia is super uncomfortable and all, but the fact that he then turns around and acts the exact same way to his middle aged male coworker just… it adds something in context that shifts it from “wow julian is really creepy with women” to “wow julian is an idiot with people” for me.
i mean he is still pretty creepy with women a lot of the time and has obvious issues with toxic masculinity but at least his horrendous ‘wear them down until they say yes’ approach is apparently just the only way he seems to have of getting to know people and making friends.
#star trek#star trek ds9#julian bashir#stella talks#.also something about how sisko is like ‘well i knew dax when he was an old man’.#.and julian is just like ‘… yes? does that not make her more attractive to you? why not???’#.like other characters consistently are like ‘geez knowing dax when she was a he must be so uncomfortable for you sisko’.#.and then julian is just absolutely confused as to why that would possibly be an issue for anyone ever.#.<- we should talk about how people react to dax and gender whenever someone tries to pull the bigotry free utopia line.#.because clearly transmisogyny is alive and well in the federation even if it’s much more understated now.#.anyway i was playing an old farming/romance game on the 3ds and there’s this one guy in it.#.and i hated him when i played as a girl because he’s always talking about how pretty you are and calling you darling.#.even if you’ve like… just met him. and i was just immediately like ugh nope stay away from me.#.and then i played as a guy. and he… does the… exact same thing…#.and suddenly i… didn’t hate him anymore because oh. that’s just how he talks to people. oh my god.#.i mean that character is also definitely bisexual as well but.#.like i thought he was a misogynistic flirt but. nope. he covers for akwardness in social situations by talking that way.#.and once i had the context of it being a completely gender neutral behaviour with no ulterior motives attached. well.#.it made me recontextualise everything about the character and i realised i actually really liked him.#.and yeah realising that julian just doesn’t know how to make friends except via brute force does make me view him differently.
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I’m going to phrase this delicately because I’m so deeply grateful and awed by the support I’ve received.
But I will say it is a little anxiety inducing how many people feel they can talk about coming home whatever way they want openly and publicly because it has “numbers” or whatever (referring to my own work like this makes me want to claw my eyes out because they baffle me and I don’t necessarily feel I deserve them but it’s important for context).
This is Especially true for the way people speak under things I very much see. Art of the fic. My Twitter mutuals posts. Things I will very obviously interact with. It feels like someone is walking into my back yard and talking shit as if I'm literally not standing in said yard like this 🧍
You make something for a community for free as an act of passion and then the community in turn becomes something that isn’t quite accessible to you anymore. I’ve seen this happen to a lot of fic writers in my previous fandoms and idk man it’s just kind of a bummer.
Like. Fanfic and fanart is made by people in the fandom for the fandom. It’s not work being produced by some distant people in Hollywood who shouldn’t be in the fandom space in the first place.
Idk, it’s actually pretty rare that this happens to me but I wanted to mention I am a human who can very much read the things you say guys 😭 like if you reblog art related to my work and call it a bunch of petty names and say you had to dnf I can see that. It’s totally ok to feel whatever way you want. But maybe don't feel that way in my back yard.
Again. I’m so grateful for everything I really am. You absolutely do not have to fuck with my work. Fuck I don't fuck with my work sometimes DKLFJSDHF. This is probably the last time I’ll talk about this because the last thing I want to do is come off like I can’t take criticism and I’m ungrateful. But sometimes I really am chewing at my enclosure like IM RIGHT HERE MAN IM LITERALLY BEHIND YOU HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT.
#on the upside I have definetly developed a thicker skin over the past month#I genuinely mean it things that used to phase me now just kind of annoy me#but on the other hand#I do feel fic writers should be able to be members of the fandoms they write for#I’ve noticed some of the other writers in this fandom once they get attention do not interact much#but idk I don’t…. want that to be me#9/10 chance I’ll feel weird about this and delete in the next five minutes to an hour#but yeah sometimes I do feel there’s this ‘shut up and be grateful’ thing that gets imposed on me#but I can be grateful and also set boundaries and talk about things that make me stressed or uncomfortable me thinks#never something i'd do on twitter. but something i'm going to cautiously attempt here#honestly if this helps one person realize how to better interact in fandom spaces online i'll be happy#also side note since im leaning towards maybe keeping this up#im literally fine. i'm big chilling right now. posted this in a good headspace over my coffee yada yada#no need to defend my honor or point fingers you know#also i know to an extent that this stuff is inevitable#and i cannot stop it or whatever. but again. i'd at least like to say it just the once#at this point its not even the crit itself that makes me feel a certain type of way#it just makes me feel kind of invisible and dehumanized
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Tuvok and Kathryn + Touch
Unknown, found on Pinterest // While You Were Sleeping - Heath // Voyager - Season 2, Episode 6 // Voyager - Season 7, Episode 25 // I Had a Dream About You - Richard Siken // Dreams of Clytemnestra - Dacia Marani // After Bombardment, Sonya - Ilya Kaminsky // A Pocket Full of Lies - Kirsten Beyer // City of Bones - Cassandra Clare // Voyager - Season 7, Episode 10 // Richard Siken //
#trek thoughts#yeah okay so they make me crazy#i am always thinking about their relationship#and the role touch plays in it is important to me#kathryn is in general a very touchy person#we see this with how she interacts with everyone in her crew and nothing about that changes with her relationship with tuvok#he rarely (if ever) initiates touch with her (when he does he's weird about it - like during twisted where he just moves his hand close)#but he never appears uncomfortable or surprised when kathryn touches him#their relationship is so intimate yet weirdly formal#also this can be taken as shipping or as platonic#mostly they are a qpr to me#web weaving#tuvok x janeway#Kathryn Janeway x Tuvok#tuvok#kathryn janeway#star trek#captain janeway#Star trek Voyager#voyager#voy#janeway#admiral janeway#captain kathryn janeway#star trek janeway#star trek voy#st tuvok
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antoine + étoiles insane moments, p.2. aka the ass saga. p1 here
transcript + context for some of the clips below
[Video Transcript:
[First clip plays.]
Rivenzi: You want to see Etoiles’ ass, of course…
Antoine: Yeah, I’m gonna stare at your ass, Etoiles…
Etoiles: Fuck, what dread, during Popcorn [a talkshow Etoiles had been invited on the previous week], when I went up to the map and you said that, and I thought ‘whoa—‘
Antoine: Sorry
[Second clip plays: the moment during Popcorn]
PA/Domingo: Antoine Daniel has posted a tweet for us: ‘I wanted to look at this map of Africa, but Etoiles’ ass in the shape of a standing bell is driving me crazy. Smiley face with eyes in the shape of hearts.’
[Third clip plays: a continuation of the first clip.]
Antoine: Sorry, bro…
Ponce: Oh but that tweet, besides
Rivenzi: A standing bell…
Antoine: What’s more is that I never tweet and when I do it’s to tweet this sort of shit
Ponce: That’s exactly what I told myself. When PA read the tweet, I thought to myself, ‘but he never tweets!’ And he tweets to talk about Etoiles’ ass
Antoine: There needs to be a good reason, you see
[Fourth clip plays: a clip from the Team du Lundi’s minecraft server.]
JDG: Someone (in chat) said, ‘I can’t tell whether the atmosphere is good tonight or—‘
Antoine: It sucks, it sucks
Florence: You don’t need to ask every time, it always sucks
Baghera: Always sucks. Especially when Etoiles talks about ass [which had been a previous topic of discussion for him that night]
Antoine: Stooop, I enjoy it
Mynthos: You enjoy it?
JDG: It’s true tonight that it’s more weird than bad
Antoine: I like it when Etoiles talks about ass….
[Fifth clip plays: a second and different clip from Popcorn.]
Etoiles: —you’re not allowed to tell me that [Xari claimed to not know much about cinema]. I know you, I studied, because you’re my rival [in pop culture]. I really enjoy what you do in life, Xari, and you’re really knowledgeable about cinema
Antoine: What do you mean he’s your rival? And I’m just shit?
Etoiles: You, you’re my lover
Antoine: Oh yeah, sorry, my bad
PA/Domingo: One of the three is gonna die soon. There’s a whole situation, there’s a whole lore
[Sixth clip plays: a clip from the QSMP.]
Antoine: Don’t you want to get married, dude?
Etoiles: Well, I don’t have the time to fuck
Antoine: What the fuck?!
Etoiles: I don’t have time to fuck, dude. I just need to kill everyone
Antoine: No but just a marriage, you see. You’ve watched Game of Thrones— you haven’t watched Game of Thrones, you can’t know how marriages work in that series
Etoiles: I’ve watched it, but I’m married to the street, dude. I can’t give out my heart that quickly
Antoine: Yeah but you can give out your ass quickly, no?
Etoiles: No, frankly, my ass—
Antoine: What the fuck?!
Etoiles: Giving out your ass takes time, dude
Antoine: What the fuck…
Etoiles: Then again, I need to think about it. I’ll give you my answer. I need to discuss, and everything
Antoine: I’m tired of getting betrayed. You get married with someone else—
Etoiles: Never in a million years!
Antoine: —it’s like yesterday. Apparently Maximus got the mic from his ass removed while I wasn’t there. I was supposed to be the one to do it
Etoiles: Oh okay, so I’m your second choice?
[Overlapping]
Antoine: No! It was just to help him—
Etoiles: No, but, okay
Antoine: He got— listen—
Etoiles: There’s no problem!
Antoine: Fuck, nevermind
Etoiles: There’s no issue! Oh, so you’re opening my chest and stealing?
Antoine: I was just looking! Out of curiosity
Etoiles: Yeah, that’s it
Antoine: I don’t even understand what’s in it
Etoiles: Yeah, out of curiosity. Dude, your opinion on my cave?
Antoine: Well frankly it’s big
end Video Transcript.]
#antoine daniel#etoiles#étoiles#jay clips#qsmp#<- this is an appropriate tag wait till the end . it makes up half the video too#4/08/2024#le fameux bol tibétain d’étoiles…. traduit pour les inters#and i call it a saga here because the clips here span from early 2021 to mid 2023#you know the first clips are old because antoine is still using twt at that point#not included here; a zlan 2024 clip where étoiles yells ‘fuck me in the ass’ (french) at antoine 👍#also not included ; a serveur du lundi clip where étoiles jokes about antoine having a leash at home#antoine denying this and étoiles saying ‘well i spent a weekend at your place’#????????? yeah sure why not#ALSO re the qsmp clip antoine brought up the marriage possibility after hearing about the upcoming spiderbit wedding <3#bro sounds so fucking needy in the clip it’s sending me . how can i make this into qantoine lore……. this WAS the period where things were#slowly changing within the french dynamic (aka . they were meeting and talking to new people) and qantoine was growing increasingly paranoi#about trusting people then……. him trying to hold onto someone he loves dearly because he’s not sure if he can keep up with him…..#anw some other translation type notes read if ur interested in that:#wasn’t quite sure on the best way to translate ‘l’angoisse’ here . i went with ‘dread’#literally it translates to ‘anxiety/anguish/dread/etc’ but it’s used in a very flippant way in slang#so anguish felt a bit strong here . when someone says ‘oh l’angoisse’ about something it’s usually to mean an uncomfortable or unusual#scenario . but the intensity of that very much varies#OH ALSO : if anyone wants the sources to each of these clips lmk#i may just add them here later when im less tired#insuline & nicotine
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love language is gift giving but is trying to be lowkey VS is knawing at the bars of his enclosure about it
(this is the stupidest thing ive ever drawn it makes me laugh so hard)
#sillyest duncan ive ever drawn 😭#why he built like that#its DJs POV#whats that one meme with the “you are just a small hater” “and?” cuz thats jow they look to me#god#anyways yeah DJ gift giving trait who is trying to hard to make it seem normal cuz he doenst want to make duncan uncomfortable vs duncan#being duncan#jester draws#i am talking into the void#fanart#total drama#duncan total drama#tdi#djuncan#duncan td#dj total drama#total drama dj
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You know sometimes it just hits you that so much of queer "discourse" is basically one group of queer people trying to cultivate a subcommunity for themselves and their identity while another group of queer people cry and scream about how that group, who is just trying to exist and have their own bubble, is the cause of all their own group's problems
#Jean mumbles#This is about asexuals and pansexuals and bisexuals and mspec lesbians and aspec lesbians and mspec and aspec in genera#It's about neopronouns and xenogenders and trans men and transneutrals and trans women and nonbinary people#And multigender people and genderqueer people and he/him lesbians and she/her gays and intersex people and so on and so on#And yes. It's about kinksters too. Because kink belongs in the queer community too.#You know what this isn't about. I am on my knees begging you to not say the most blatant “EXCEPT FOR [redacted]”#Because we know. We fucking know. Those people aren't welcome here. Stop making every queer inclusion post about those people#They aren't part of the community and they never will be so cut it oooouuuutttttt#Anyway. Yeah. So much queer discourse is basically ''you exist in a way that challenges my preconceived notion of queerness-#- and that makes me very uncomfortable and upset so. Kill yourself?? Please? :pleading_face:" and people think they're somehow morally righ#For doing this. Like actually grow up. Actually grow the fuck up before you pipe up.
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related to nick's post. you can't even make this stuff up
#jared's said before that he doesn't really care for romance storylines in spn bc that's not part of the story he's interested in telling#for sam so i doubt he gave a shit other than wanting to work w shoshanna again but <3 eileen for the win#that being said i cannotttt with this reasoning of why samleen is a popular ship. makes me resent it so bad...#i also cut out a part in the middle 1) where there's an aside about ruby but someone else yells rowena and jared says#“yeah they had some great moments together.” another sam het ship that's popular for the Wrong reasons#and 2) the person asking the question tells jared something like 'that's the right answer' which. ew#that aside i think it's cute how they automatically take over for each other when one is obviously uncomfortable or needs time to answer#alsooo jensen being mean <3 “i think i hear a sheep—” LMFAO.#otherwise it's incredibly hilarious how good and obvious he is at ignoring it at this point#jaytwo#'22#edit: also infuriating to learn the reason why jared immediately launches into his description of shoshanna's character as a person#as well as a description of their relationship rather than delving into what he thinks of eileen's character
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Serendipity should be required viewing material before anyone tries to analyze Homestuck; not only is John Cusack a universal constant, but the themes and vibes of Serendipity are so fundamentally woven into Homestuck's DNA that several of Serendipity's thesises and conversations could be lifted directly from one to the other.
In particular, the way Serendipity utilizes coincidence and circumstantially simultaneous events in order to suggest - nay, decree - that the two leads belong together, is highly reminiscent of the way Hussie uses foreshadowing, and not just for romantic couples. It's also a major window into the ultimate stance Homestuck takes with regard to romance, fate, and destiny, and also more specifically, a really good look at Karkat's own personal philosophies of romance. There's a running theme in his movies of meeting someone that perfectly matches your freak, someone you don't ever need to compromise yourself around, who brings out the best in you.
Also, some of yall need to watch a shitty romcom every once in a while and develop some emotions
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#I'm genuinely not joking#if you want to understand Karkat and Homestuck better you need to watch Serendipity#at the very least so you can understand what the comic means by soul mates#i mean it's literally NAMEDROPPED during the troll romance section as the ultimate expression of finding your soul mates in every quad#people literally will be like 'i like karkat' and not watch serendipity smh#anyway the karkat movie list is serendipity • hitch • 50 first dates#he calls serendipity and hitch specifically 'pure magic' and yes. yeah.#i know we all love to clown on karkat's love of embarrassing romcoms and we're right to do so it's hilarious#but hussie also unironically calls it the best character trait he gave karkat and hes soooo correct about that#and you can tell from the way serendipity and even 50 first dates are described that those are kind of hussies genuine feelings toward them#hes right 50 first dates DOESN'T make you want to punch adam sandler#despite the occassional uncomfortable lowbrow comedy segment everything about the romance is played so straight and so genuine#maybe this shitty adam sandler romcom made me cry maybe im man enough to admit it#and idrk how else to describe serendipity besides 'pure magic'#tbh just watch it for yourself#homestuck is like 30% serendipity by volume
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What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
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I have a Goldie Playlist and a few are really good fits, I had to delete a couple that were a little too broadly applicable to gf in general, but I will NOT let go of "bad idea right?" Bu Olivia Rodrigo because I need it to vibe tune to my goldford smut!! I keep wanting to send the Playlist but it's short and I feel like I'm gonna find more perfect songs. Also I wanna use some for suprise animation when I have time..
My fic-writing playlist is meticulously organized by character & theme but i've got an entire section of the playlist that's just "yeah this song doesn't have anything to do with anything, i'm just keeping it in because I need the vibes to fuel my writing.
#(please never call it goldford though 😭)#(that makes it sound like my Bill is such a totally different character from canon Bill that even ship names with him need to be different)#(I reluctantly admit that sometimes calling Bill 'Goldie' can help differentiate when an asker is talking to me about canon vs my fic)#(but even that's uncomfortable as hell. like no one calls the other characters by different names to separate my fic from canon.)#(nobody's saying 'Goldilocks Mabel' to separate her from canon Mabel or anything. it only happens with Bill.)#('Goldie' is like the reverse of a deadname:)#(yeah I came up with the name—OUT OF *NECESSITY* BECAUSE THE CHARACTERS CAN'T CALL BILL 'BILL' IN PUBLIC—)#(but every time a reader calls him that instead of his original REAL name it makes my entire soul cringe.)#(you'll notice i never ever ever call Bill 'Goldie' outside of the fic! There's a reason for that! And it's that his name ISN'T 'Goldie'!)#marsupials of mars#ask#bill goldilocks cipher
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dude i know this is so toxic of me but i am beginning to become a small dog hater
#i know they’re out there but no joke i have yet to meet one that’s well-trained#like they just make me so uncomfortable at this point#and also sad bc it’s like. yeah they end up super aggressive and bite-y or obnoxious bc their boundaries aren’t respected or they’re not#trained. which isn’t their fault as animals but fuck i hate dealing with them#like my housemate’s dog literally cannot tolerate hal being in the same room with her & she runs at him and jumps at him snarling and#snapping#and she jumps up and licks you and runs at you and if you’re sitting she’ll just join you and climb on you but she’s scary to physically#move bc she’ll bite#and she literally does not listen to any commands#i tried bonding with her and teaching her some tricks but she like. also literally just didn’t respond to clicker training#like she’s bitten a few friends at this point!#also last night at midnight the shower broke and 2 neighbors came over to help & she’s like just ceaselessly barking super loud and high#pitched and then snarling and running at hal and snapping at people
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You're always so on point with your posts. On that note, it made me realize that; Considering the themes of desires in DunMeshi. It's also to say that what you think you want isn't what you actually want.
Like, Marcille thinks she wants the handsome prince from the novels she reads... But what she actually wants is someone maybe more like her father who she admired so much. Kind, virtuous, caring to a fault, a family man. Things she later finds in Chilchuck.
Because as traumatizing as it was to see her mother's spiral after her father's death; Her memories of her father itself are some of the most important to her. And it fits with her pursuit to increase her loved ones' lives, because she does want what her mother and father had.
Sipping. I do go over ‘what you think you want vs what you actually want + what you need’ in my (upcoming) Marcille & Chil arc analysis ;) It’s a part of Dunmeshi that I really like and is super fascinating, I’d honestly like to make an analysis-post on the topic: all the different threads and characters in canon that reflect that, desires vs wants and themes of idealization in Dunmeshi, but it’s one of those things that’s just so huge to make. See this is the freaking problem with doing Dunmeshi meta you start talking about the themes or a narrative and everything is so interwoven you get distracted with tangents BUT IT’S ALL COMPELLING AND RELEVANT
I know that’s something laimar does a lot too, the dad thing, with Marcille in a post-canon comic knitting beside him paralleling her parents and whatnot. I don’t know if I fully agree on the angle but there’s definitely stuff to dig at there…
Like I know that I’d like to analyze Marcille’s succubus more, it comes up in my analysis draft but it’s not the point I’m trying to make there so I focus on other stuff but… I always saw the focus of Marcille’s succubus as that she sought out an emotional connection most of all, it’s romantic and courtly in nature but more importantly there’s personality and behavior there and it’s a character she already loves and knows deeply from having read the series, so it’s not like Chil where it’s just a pretty face whose identity doesn’t matter. A friend of mine though, @room-surprise, goes with the angle that it shows she isn’t ready for a relationship and that the appeal is very self-centered, and I def think compelling points are made…
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Point I was trying to make, the succubus is definitely at the crux of figuring what it is Marcille wants and craves in someone I’d say, where she’s emotionally at wether consciously or subconsciously, or how she sees herself being involved in romance at least… It’s true Marcille is enthusiastic about romance, but always someone else’s, never hers, and she seems unwilling to examine her own relationships with people. She oversteps boundaries either obliviously or carelessly and doesn’t like change…
And then there’s how complex people’s relationship to fiction can be on top of that and graaaaah
Edit in bc I forgot I wanted to mention this like an idiot: OH and I do think the Daltian Clan serves a role in the general tapestry of Dunmeshi as well, sometimes in in depth ways that Room-Surprise will tackle in their research paper way better than me I’m sure. My understanding of the importance of general Hagreus in a more general narrative sense is that he reinforces the theme of idealization/fantasy vs reality that’s super present through the manga. Beyond just Marcille’s arc and his importance to her he’s designed uncannily close to Mithrun, it parallels real elves and their very flawed military system and the broken people it cultivates vs the romanticized elves put on an aesthetic pedestral in novels, especially considering it’s "general" Hareus
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To give some previews of the analysis wip: Thus the succubus targets Marcille’s wish for a perfect knight who could cherish her forevermore, someone safe and known and fantastical, just hers in a way, free to see and construct however she wants because he’s a character to interpret Dungeon Meshi is in part about resisting desires, the irrational cravings, mostly through the character of the demon. I mentioned needs earlier, and to ideals vs wants we also add vs needs, both emotional and physical. And needs alongside wants are what Dungeon Meshi wishes to promote for a healthier person. Dungeon Meshi illustrates very well with the dungeon lords that you can be a slave to your desires. Dunmeshi prones the important of balance for both a healthy body and a healthy mind, and the arc of optimism vs pessimism with Marcille & Chilchuck is one such case <3
Ouuuugh how flawed relationships with flawed people can still be made into somehing good and healthy that make the world brighter…
We’ve gone far from the topic of how her family shaped what she seeks in relationships haha, I think you put it well already though I don’t have much to add on that front Edit in 2: SIKE! I’ll add that there’s an interesting thread in the manga of Marcille maturing and becoming more like her mother, which would be interesting and fun to pair with the fatherhood of Chil. Because Marcille is sometimes a mother figure as well: she’s the mom friend. I go over it here, and since when I made that post I’ve seen more interesting analysis on the topic too, like noticing she hides behind her mother’s portrait in the nightmare chapter, perhaps the inspiration behind her more mature reserved academic persona she sometimes has. Her parents are def important to her so it’s interesting to see how all the dynamics and her own psychology fit into that….
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But yeah I think what she (thinks she) wants out of romance has a lot of layers, both conscious and subconscious… I haven’t gone into the bigger picture of how fiction affects her relationships here but it’s the central topic of my Marcille & Chil arc analysis so. She idealizes the trope of the prince charming and finds it attractive but is that what she would actually latch onto… Is it fully superficial, is it more about herself than it is about her potential partner... Is it mainly because she wants to get validation, from being special that she typically gets from high academic performance… We do see she can be rather insecure and worried about others’ perspective of her, that they think she’s not useful or capable enough, especially in the mandrake chapter… Unconditional love perhaps
What is your emotional landscape Marcille. How emotionally intelligent are you. I don’t think she knows what she wants romantically. I think she has a job so she don’t really care about that rn I’m just not sure if we can figure out what she ~actually~ wants on her behalf that might be too many levels of interpretation but idk idk, thinking on it still
#Ask#marchil#Spoilers#Dungeon meshi manga spoilers#As an aroace obviously obsessed with shipping. Me 🤝 Marcille very possibly being uncomfortable at the thought of being in a relationship#Considering her fear of loss + loss of control at categorizing her relationships and the Falin bath scene analysis yk the one#How she pushes herself to think of Falin as a kid still bc it’s more digestible and less scary. Bc change and aging and vulnerability#Like she could totally be super on board to get into a romance at a snap of fingers buuut there’s enough material where also could be not#The post ended up not being very marchil but yeah… in the end i ship it bc i think chil is both what she wants and needs in a lover#It’s ok even if they don’t do much pda she’ll just romanticize that it makes it more special#Marcille donato#Meta#Btw big recommend the youtube video essay on OFMD season 2 by The Sin Squad… Makes me think about Marcille v much
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men love to try and tee me up for their next relationship while they’re still dating their current gf and i am never interested. NEVER.
#i don’t even fuck w men like that#mind you i’ve told this man that i am NOT INTERESTED in dating SEVERAL TIMES when he’s asked ab my romantic life#but he’s saying some suspicious ass stuff#like today he was like ‘yeah and it’s hard bc i’m starting have feelings for….this isn’t about anyone in particular….others outside#the relationship. and it’s making me feel guilty’#and i’m like hm. um. okay.#and he’s being weirdly cryptic with me in the way men get when they think they’re being sly ab their feelings for you#😭😭#he’s texting me a bunch lately too like ‘you just really inspire me to be the best version of myself i can be’#and ‘i had a really bad week and i just wanted to thank you for being so kind and funny and awesome’#mind you i didn’t do anything out of ordinary for him#mind you he’s my coworker!!!#i see him every day!!#i’m not stupid idk 😭 you complain ab your gf to me and the shower me in praise like pls stop im uncomfortable 😭😭#i’ve already told him i don’t really want this dynamic with a coworker and he kinda just continues and idk what to do anymore!#like we work closely on everything!#he sits directly beside me in the office!#BLAH#cielo rambles!
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I work with somebody about once a week who is so fascinating to me, especially when they are at our first desk. When someone walks in, they do not so much as smile or look at them, much less greet them. When someone leaves, they don't do anything either. If someone says, "Thank you," they say, "Sure," and if someone says, "Have a good one," they say, "Sure."
Listen. I don't know if it's because I was born and raised in the South for over three decades or because I was the front-facing customer-service-driven person at my previous jobs for a grand total of eight years. But I wince and get a little flappy anxious every time. What do you mean, you're not greeting people warmly so they're smiling as soon as they come through the door? What do you mean, you don't thank them for coming, wish them a good day, and bid them farewell? What do you mean, you just don't interact with the public unless forced, even in our front-facing job?
I think the amiable Southern politeness is just too engrained in me. There is no getting rid of it. And I'm kind of hoping that eventually I can work my way up to having more shifts at our first desk instead of our second because it's a lot weirder to gently greet someone from a distance when the employee closest to them is not paying them a single bit of mind.
#please do not misunderstand me this is not me criticizing people who have social anxiety or autism or are uncomfortable with small talk#i have and am all of those things in fact#it's just me reflecting on the cultural differences between the south and the midwest that i have discovered so far#people are startled when i hold the door open for them if i go in before them and they're close behind me#and my coworkers seem alarmed sometimes when i greet people with a beaming smile and try to make conversation#i still can't stop myself from smiling and making eye contact with someone if we pass on the sidewalk#i force myself to talk at a reasonable pace and not jump in and interrupt people with 'yeah' or 'sure' like i'm impatient with them#and part of it is my upbringing but also part of it is that we are painfully in need of funding and donations#and literally the only thing i can do in that regard is make people feel so happy to be in our building that they keep coming back#and they develop relationships with the staff and attend our programs and finally see how much more we could do#if we had just a little bit more help#augh i really love my job y'all and i really hope i can keep doing well there and get more hours and responsibility and money#i come home every day feeling fuzzy and smiling even if i am absolutely exhausted as well#my ramblings
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will be cleaning up my following tonight and doin a little softblocking spree <3
#i’ve been way too lenient with some mutuals making me uncomfortable and upset#like i looked past a LOT of weird shit purely bc i didn’t want to lose interactions nor make anyone upset but ive reached my limits!!!!#i haven’t really had time to be here anyways but being irritated when checking dash shouldn’t be a normal experience 💀#this isn’t a ‘like to stay’ type post#if u find urself sb’d u are more than welcome to re-follow or ask why if u care enough but#yeah#TY#blows u all a kiss
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