#but yada yada yada be the change you want to see in the world

[iratusmus]

fiona fox is the love + light of my life . also no i am not taking any criticism on her questionable tshirt collection i can and will defend all of my choices.

also bonus artist commentary in the alt text

[sweetbeagaming]

How to install TS3 for the ✨chronically TS4✨

Getting back into TS3 posed a challenge for me as compared to TS4. It's a 10+ year old game and of course requires some extra TLC as compared to TS4. So I hope this guide will help y'all to get everything set up cleanly and smoothly! It took me three separate tries and if I can help the next person struggle less, then that's great. Happy simming!

You'll need a copy of TS3 and these resources:

The Sims 3 Performance & Bug Fix Guide 2023 by anime_boom

This lovely post from TS3 community extraordinaire @nectar-cellar

How Use CCMagic YouTube video by @florydaax

No Intro mod edited for 2023 (original by retired creator EllaCharmed) The original mod from Ella does not work for current patch 1.69. I fixed it in s3pe with the help of some commenters on MTS so that it does actually remove the intro. If the creator happens to see this and would like this modified version removed, let me know.

How to clear cache by Carl's Guide

Got everything pulled up? Great! You're ready to start.

1. Download a FRESHLY INSTALLED copy of TS3 to your computer. If you're able, I'd highly recommend having all the packs you're wanting to own already so you don't have to do all of this again. If you are redownloading the game for any reason (like me bc I was struggling lol), remove the existing TS3 folder in your documents and save it somewhere so you can keep all of your mods or worlds there. Back up any reshade stuff from the bin folder. Completely uninstall the game through the EA app/Steam. You may lose your saves and sims due to a change in script mods through this tutorial. This cannot be avoided, trust me I tried. But it's worth it for a smooth game.

2. Do a test launch so that the game generates a new TS3 Folder in your documents. DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT INSTALL ANY SIMS 3 PACKS THROUGH THE LAUNCHER! NO WORLDS, NO CLOTHES, NO HAIR COLORS, NOTHING. This will be very important later on when you merge your CC using CCMagic. If you need worlds or other CC there are alternative ways to obtain them.

3. CLEAR THE GENERATED CACHE

4. If you use EA and open to test anywhere between steps (which you shouldn't really need to after step 1 of the Bug Fix Guide) or after playing at any point, open up task manager and ensure that you end the tasks "EA" and "EA Background Services" before continuing. It doesn't really use much memory but I noticed that it caused stutters if it's open when launching using your shiny brand new Smooth Patch. It will look like this:

5. Begin following the steps in the Performance & Bug Fix guide. The first thing you'll do is set up your mods folder. Follow those steps exactly as they are in the guide, except use the No Intro mod I linked above instead of the one you get in that folder if you actually want the intro removed.

6. Continue to FOLLOW ALL REQUIRED STEPS IN THE GUIDE UNTIL YOU'RE DONE. I mean it, all of them one by one. Heck, if you're open/able to do the bonus and optional ones, I'd suggest doing those too.

7. Once you've completed that, go check out nectar-cellar's excellent post for tips and a fix to make the smooth patch to compatible with Master Controller. I will not be providing an edited version of this as LazyDutchess who created the Smooth Patch is still active and I want to respect their work.

8. If you've made it this far, you're doing great sweetie. Do another test launch through the patcher and if everything runs correctly it means you've done everything RIGHT. You're ready to start playing or downloading mods if you want! If you do start downloading mods merging them will 100% be a must do if you want to maintain any sanity. You can use CCMagic to do so. I linked that handy lil video above!

Keep in mind script mods, overrides, patterns, and CC counters should NEVER be merged. Always check the creator's notes, yada yada. And always clean up your cache on a regular basis. Have fun y'all!

[slowlysoluminary]

after that wack-tastic piece of media i figured we could all!! use a break!!!!!!! so!!!!!!

(more) doodles below the cut. and some commentary! Hurray!

^^ Post game is interesting. Most of the timeloop is about figuring the deal with the memories, some of it is about sif comng to terms with the king, and the very very end of it is about everyone regaining their memories.

so i say it again post game is REALLY interesting!!! because everyone, collectively, is trying to balance their old memories and their new memories. everyone except siffrin. who is not 1:1 old siffrin but is the closest to it, considering how much loop's been through.

loop??? becomes corporeal at some point in the end.

it's very bittersweet! i think! the whole of the party does an "i want to remember!!!" sequence, fighting with their own minds to fill the gaping holes they'd always ignored.

-- loop, after realizing the extent to which they're familiar with the party, had tried desperately to get the party to remember them throughout the loops. in hopes that something would change. they never remembered.

at the same time, siffrin is talking to the king - they're fighting with eachother physically and verbally, desperately trying to get the other understand. resetfrin is not the siffrin the king hated so earnestly, not the siffrin he tried to snuff out.

over the course of many conversations with the king, siffrin caught on. the king is the major lore dump here and is who causes most of the narrative development because i say so !!!!!!!!!!!!

actually. about post game. do you know why their designs are like that

resetfrin hated the lack of autonomy he had over their own body so they decided to. cut their hair. it's a bit curlier now that there's not a lot weighing it down

they decided not to keep the star stuff the king gave them. yada yada character development or whatever.

they gave their cloak to loop!! who is. siffrin again. physically at least. both siffrins are siffrin but with clear differences! like hair length and hair texture! and ohhhhhhhh no what do you mean the universe gave them the wrong body?? what?????? how cruel!!! how blasphemous!!!!!!!

loop hated the idea of keeping her hair darkless (mirror pronouns for loop btw!!! remember that!!!). it reminded them of what it was like to be ghostloop. which they hated!!! but they couldn't have their hair be lightless because that was resetfrin's new thing, so... they just. kept dying the bottom parts of it lightless. it's a compromise

how does the party distinguish the two siffrins, name-wise? uhhhhhh. ask me that question later. idk.

if.... if i have pre-game planned out. and post-game planned out.

then the inly thing I don't have planned out is the ACTUAL time loop bit

it's quite daunting because? that's like the entire point of the original game? it feels like i hve to live up to so much and like fhe loops have to have such a packed, coherent story

though, to be fair, most of what I'm writing will just be. the time loop bit. so i guess I'm figuring it out as i go

anyway, actually talking about the two sketches above, ghostloop is for SIFFRIN'S EYES ONLY!!! she can hit things but things can't hit her and all that.

after figuring out, through past loops, that the King can't see them, they realized siffrin was their only connection to the physical world. The Last Piece Left of them, physically and metaphorically. the whole time they longed for something else to acknowledge their existence. acknowledge theyre real

they also realize they can do Fuckery

the king has a Sixth Sense for loop's Fuckery,,, flipping him The Bird resulted in a rather quick death for Siffrin. whoops!!!!!

this au is. more closely revolved around gloop than i thought. don't worry!! i have a lot of gloop content planned! but. but you need to understand the pain of resetfrin and the king. the misery snd desperation fhe king felt about his country. siffrin pleading with the king, countlessly, hoping to see some SEMBLANCE of the man he once knew. you need to know the missing pieces the party finds, a hollow feeling settling itself around their hearts. you need to know so bad.

so you'll get gloop content! i am a big fan of the little guy myself, really. but !!! this au is not ONLY about them, believe it or not! hehe. haha. giggles. ok ill stop

[mycleven]

A sweet distraction..

Summary • she has her husband back, for now at-least, but at what cost? he’s quieter, more reserved and running on his inability to shut off, to sleep. Maybe all he needs is a sweet little distraction from his dame, and the hands he’s oh so greatly missed..

warnings/info • brief mentions of war, ptsd, 18+, handjob, horrible writing yada yada

“tell me gale, is it a distraction you’re craving?”

One week.

One measly week is all she’d have with her man, her husband, a year spent away, a year of worrying and yet all she’d gotten was one week, it wasn’t out of good conscience that she was even given the privilege of seeing Gale again, instead it was a silent plea.

Sort your husband out.

She should’ve known better than to expect him to be the same as he was before all of this, before he was sent away and so awfully ripped out of her hands, out of her life.

There was so many tiny thing’s different with him now, from his sullen slightly sunken eyes, to the shakes in his hands when he thought she hadn’t noticed, those plump lips she loves so much bruised and bloodied from the no doubt constant biting of the man in his worry.

Even still, with all the new little changes to him she saw that he was still hers, still the Gale Cleven she married, and she wanted to do right by him, be a good pliant wife like she was yearning to be.

But how do you be pliant to a man who hasn’t been there? hasn’t asked it of you?

She was not going to watch her marriage get run down to shreds because she didn’t try, she was going to get through to her husband, one way or the other, because she knew he needed her, even if he was too damn proud to say it

“Gale?..” her voice is quiet in the darkness of the room, eyes squinting in an attempt to adjust from the sleep she just roused from at feeling the emptiness beside her, the absence of her warmth.

Satin is pulled over her bare body as she sits up fully, goosebumps scattering across her skin at the light breeze coming in from the slightly ajar balcony door and her lips almost twist up in a small grin.

Bingo.

Quietly she makes her way over, feet softly padding against the hardwood floor that looks like it could definitely do with a few more coats of polish, soft hand reaching out to pull the door just a little bit more open so she can step out, and when she does there he is..

“Gale?..” She whispers out “honey?” she’s a little apprehensive at going over, not knowing wether or not he’ll go into another episode like earlier, clutching at his chest as if all the air in the world had been sucked away.

His eyes are focused on the city below, and she wonders if maybe he has a guilty conscious at knowing he’s probably dropped a few dozen bombs on a city just like this one.

“Couldn’t sleep, wanted to get some air” his voice is quiet, so quiet she almost misses what he says.

“baby..” she sighs, coming a little closer and tentatively reaching out her hand to settle on his arm, not missing the way he slightly tenses as if he wasn’t expecting the soft touch.

What had they done to him?

“Did i wake you?” he mutters out, gaze glancing at her for just a split second before looking away again and she fights off the urge to sigh, shaking her head

“Your absence woke me” she hums, quiet.

“Why don’t you come back to bed?..”

He shakes his head, shoulders slumping a little as he sighs, eyes glancing back at her and she feels her heart break just a little more at the sight of his heavy, darkened eyes.

“Couldn’t sleep, ‘s too loud, too many sounds. Needed to get up and move around. Couldn’t stay still any longer.” this poor boy, she thinks, eyebrows scrunching up a little in dismay as she sighs softly.

“Please, let me help you Gale..”

“Come back to bed..” she speaks slowly, like that of a mother coaxing her child to eat a vegetable they don’t like.

There’s a resistance there, a part of him yearning for the rest that will eventually come to him if he lays down, but the stubborn part of him just wants to stay here, in the fresh air where his mind isn’t a muddled mess

“I can’t” he murmurs “i’ll keep you awake.”

“I don’t care” She’s quick with her answer, almost cutting him off as she speaks “I don’t care because i want to be laying in bed and i want my husband next to me, whatever it takes.”

His hesitation wavers one final time, the decision finally made.

“…Okay. I just…” *He starts, words trailing off as he pauses to take a breath, shaking his head “Thank you.”

With that he turns and heads back inside, sitting down on the edge of the bed with a heaving sigh. His shoulders slump, clearly defeated. She could tell he’s exhausted - he looks it, most importantly she can tell by the bags under his eyes - but he can’t sleep. He’s been unable to sleep for days now.

“You don’t need to thank me..” she airily chuckles just a little, following behind him and making sure to shut and lock the balcony door before padding over to him, perching herself up behind him

Her hands raise, settling on his tense shoulders as she begins to push lightly, deeply, thumbs circling over the tense muscles in an attempt to soothe him

He tenses a bit at first, the feeling almost foreign after so long, before he slowly relaxes into her touch with a weak sigh. His shoulders slumping and his head tilting forward as her gentle hands work the muscles of his upper back, the tension already easing out of him.

His breathing deepens a bit, the movements of her hands lulling him into a relaxed state. His eyes slowly close, body relaxing, muscles finally loosening up a bit. He just relaxes into her touch, not speaking for a while, seemingly enjoying the feel of her hands on him.

Oh, how he’s missed his wife.

“There we go..” she hums as she carries on, satisfied in herself at seeing how much he’s enjoying this, her head tipping down to press a few light kisses to his neck

She fights back the urge to grin In premature victory when his head tilts back onto her shoulder, perfect lips parted as soft groans leave his mouth

“keep doing that..” his voice, gravelly and deep has her stomach fluttering in want, jolts following down to her core as she hits a specific spot that has a loud moan tumbling from his lips

“Tell me gale..” she leans just a little to whisper in his ear “is it a distraction you’re craving?..”

“Marlene..”

“Major.”

“please.” his voice is so quiet, so unlike the confident man she’s known for many years, bedded for many years.

“Tell me what you want baby, i’ll give it to you.” she whispers

“anything, god-please Marlene.”

She’s quick in her movements, settling in front of him as she backs him up against the headboard, smiling a little at how comfortable he gets against the pillows, her beautiful beautiful man.

He lets her practically manhandle him, rather enjoying the attention from someone other than Bucky pulling him about and maybe leaving a lingering touch a few places for far too long, not that he doesn’t love ‘im, hell he’d probably have gone insane without Bucky around

But Bucky wasn’t Marlene.

“You’re so pretty..” he smiles a little at her, legs widening a little so she can comfortably sit between them, her hands drifting to settle on his thighs and fuck-he can feel his cock hardening embarrassingly quickly

“Thank you” she hums before quickly slotting her hands into the waistband of his boxer shorts, pulling them down and she can’t hide the grin that settles on her face when she catches sight of his cock standing at attention for her, all pretty and leaking.

She wastes no time bringing her hand up to her mouth, lightly spitting in it before bringing it down to his dick, hand softly wrapping around it before moving with a few teasing tugs

“Fuck-Marlene” he breathes

She moves a little faster this time, finding a rhythm as she rotates her wrist when she comes up to swipe her thumb against the slit of his cock, chuckling at how he keens and bucks against her hands, it’s quite humorous for her actually.

Buck is bucking into her hand.

“jesus christ.” she watches as his eyes roll to the back of his head and she can’t help but feel satisfied with herself, after all it seems she’s still got it, leaning forward she presses a few kisses to his jaw, not halting her hand for a second

“Marlene.”

“Gale..”

“Shit-‘m not gonna last long” he mutters, practically whining into her mouth and she follows up with a sweet kiss to his lips

speeding up her hand she relishes in the moans tumbling out of his mouth and into her own, a mantra of her name falling from his lips as he keens and writhers against her touch

“Such a good boy for me Gale..” she whispers and he whines, twitching into her hand pathetically

“Marlene-fuck I can’t-“

She doesn’t even get a word out before he’s spurting out onto her hand, thick ropes of white painting her supple skin and dripping onto her fresh manicure, she can’t find it in her to care, he looks so beautiful like this..

His hair a mess, the slight sheen of sweat on his forehead clinging to a few strands of his blonde hair, eyes blown out but still drooping as he comes down, breath slightly heavy as his big hands come to paw at her sides

“Thank you, thank you..” he murmurs over and over into her lips and she smiles, kissing him sweetly before moving to clean up her hand, settling into bed with him as he shifts to pull up his boxer shorts again before perching his head onto her chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart.

Oh god, how he had missed her.

well shit here’s my first ever fic on here! (I’m so scared) if it’s awful I apologise, i wrote this at 3am after randomly getting a surge for an idea while listening to Lana Del Rey, ha ha

[firewasabeast]

I had a half awake/half asleep (very long and descriptive) dream about buck and tommy arguing over gerrard but I don't know if I'll ever make it a fic so here's the dream:

it starts with buck and tommy in bed, both have the day off. tommy is snuggled on buck's chest and buck wakes him up saying he's gotta go. tommy snuggles closer and says he's too comfy to move. buck laughs, then says he's really gotta get up and get ready. tommy asks where he's gotta go, they were supposed to spend the day off together? buck tells him gerrard invited him to go golfing as a thank you for "saving his life", but after that he's free the rest of the day. tommy's kinda like uhhhh, but doesn't say much about it.

buck doesn't get back to tommy's place until late because they ended up going to lunch after. tommy's made dinner, casually asks about how the day went. buck doesn't go into much detail, but says it was fine. gerrard wasn't actually too bad and made plans for them to do something (idk what) the next day. tommy's wary about the whole thing, and also a little annoyed because they had plans for tomorrow. buck apologizes, but says it's kind of important he go along with gerrard and see if he can help him go easier on the 118. if he can use the fact gerrard likes him as a way to make him a better captain, he needs to do it, seeing as bobby isn't coming back as quickly as buck thoughts he would.

tommy presses the issue, says gerrard doesn't really work like that. he may feel grateful to buck, but he's still a terrible person and he's made no effort to change that. it's sweet that buck thinks he can, but it's also a little naive. buck gets defensive; it's not naive to believe people can change! tommy reminds him he worked for gerrard, for over a decade. he was once the man taken under gerrard's wing, and it was a nightmare. gerrard wants to make more gerrard's, he doesn't want to change. it's then that buck says it's different! he's different! he's not scared of him and he's not gonna become one of gerrard's little minions like-

he stops himself, but tommy finishes "like me?" tommy doesn't deny it, says yeah he fell right in line with gerrard just like he thought he was supposed to. because he was terrified. he went from growing up with a dad where nothing he did was ever right, to going into the army during DADT, to working under gerrard feeling like he was right back with his father. it's not an excuse, and if he could change it he would, but the world wasn't like it is today and he spent every single day withdrawing further until he didn't even feel like a human anymore. he made an effort to change, he put in the work, he apologized and made amends with the people he hurt. gerrard isn't going to do that, because no matter how much buck wants to, he can't save everyone.

buck ends up leaving, and i woke the rest of the way up, but awake me decided this is when he ends up going to maddie and josh. he doesn't fully understand tommy's past behavior, and isn't sure it's justified. josh enters the conversation and fills him in on how tough it was to be lgbt+ in america even just ten years ago. it's not something people really understand unless you were part of it, and he's sure tommy battles with his past self on a regular basis.

yada yada yada, buck and tommy make up...

[heartlilith]

My Placements and How They Manifest

Capricorn Ascendent:

My mother told me that when she gave birth to me, it was worse than my other 3 other siblings by far. She had to be induced because there was no sign of me wanting to come out into the world (lol). She said she was in labor for hours and when I finally came out, she started hemorrhaging. It wasn't fatal obviously because she's alive today but yeah, I kind of associate that with my Capricorn rising. Still to this day, change is very uncomfortable for me especially if I have no control over what's happening. My childhood was great until my mom divorced my dad and remarried, that's when shit went south! I had new siblings, a stepfather, and had to see my dad heartbroken while also battling melanoma and being laid off (2008 recession). My sister stayed with him and I went with my mom. They were always fighting and spiting each other but it was my sister and I that missed out. It was always "what is your father saying about me?" yada yada yada. Growing up, I was bullied by my sister a lot, in my opinion, it was more than the usual sibling fights. My mom also took a lot of her anger out on me; she ended up getting a divorce not too long after remarrying, became an alcoholic and filed for bankruptcy. Being a Capricorn rising and dealing with the backlash of that, I always have money saved, ALWAYS. I'm like a squirrel hiding nuts I stg. If I'm completely broke I'm an anxious mess. It's also why I strive to be independent and self sufficient. It's why I manifest being filthy rich. High school was terrible tbh and I battled with depression and anxiety. College was a lot better and moving away from my mom and chaotic family did me well, I went from a 2.6 GPA in high school to 3.85 in college. Rereading this it sounds kinda like a sob story and that's not what I'm trying to accomplish so I'm just going to move on.

1st House Neptune, Uranus, Lilith:

I made a separate post either on here or Reddit about how my features have changed so much over the years. As a child, my hair was blonde then it turned blonde/red in late elementary school. Since then, it's turned darker and darker through the years. Now it's dark brown. My eyes were dark blue as a child and now they're light green - I attribute this to Uranus and Neptune being on my Ascendent. In my opinion, I'm not photogenic at all (Cap rising?) and I think I look different in every picture I take or is taken of me. With Lilith being in my first house, I was sexualized a lot growing up by older guys/men. And also bullied by boys my age; I remember they thought I was "too girly". Guys, I shit you not after I had enough of it, I started showing up with boy shorts and those tank tops guys wear HAHAHA to be more of a "tomboy"... I'm not really sure what that is but yeah, I must've been 10 or 12 or something. People would always say "it's because they have a crush on you/because they like you!" and I would be so confused. Nowadays, I think I rub some people, specifically men, the wrong way and they dislike me for "no reason", or maybe they have a reason but they never come out and say it. My Uranus in the 1st shows up as being quirky I guess? I'm not really sure. Maybe it's that my parents were never disciplinary at all, I could do whatever I wanted. At the time I loved it but deep down I think I wanted to them to care, so I would act more and more reckless. Today, maybe that sets me apart. One last thing about Neptune/Uranus in the 1st is that I can't stand to see people treating people/animals/or what have you, the wrong way. I can't even watch Youtube videos of animals starting off abused... even if the videos end with them being happy and healthy, I CAN'T DO IT. It deeply disturbs me.

Side Note (1st House Lilith):

As a small child I was obsessed with being naked all the time and skinny dipping LMFAO like it was a problem. Luckily there were no creeps and I was fine but would this placement indicate that in anyway? Let me know because it doesn't really fit with my Capricorn rising.

(I'm really sorry this post is so long and detailed I think I'm having word vomit)

Virgo Moon:

As a child I was really reserved and "chill". I already talked about my relationship with my mom and she was critical and whatever. One thing that sticks out about this placement is that she would always push the idea on me to "stay pure" and to "stay innocent", especially when I was a teen. Always pushing this on me. Always telling her friends I was "naive" and yeah maybe I was in a sense. I don't know it's weird how that fits. My mom wasn't all bad though. She definitely had many faults but she was a great mom in certain aspects. Growing up, I realized she's just a human like me, with problems of her own. I don’t hold it against her. Today, my Virgo moon makes me sooo anxious and worrisome. I definitely see the negative qualities it brings but the good qualities out weigh them. I love buying people gifts and I'm a great gift giver if I do say so myself. With my Capricorn rising and Virgo moon, I hate PDA and it can be hard for me to be lovey dovey (even with all my Leo), so I show love by buying gifts - kind of like my dad. My parents were never there for me emotionally but they bought me great gifts hahaha, I guess that's why. Also I tend to "mother" my partners; I do their laundry, do the cleaning, make their doctor appointments, and take care of them in a sense - like my mom did for me. Writing this out I can now see why I am the way I am lol.

Moon square Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn:

Ooooff. Well I won't dive into it too much. I will say it affects my mental health greatly and I've had a lot of trouble in that department. My Moon square Jupiter really makes my moods go up and down. Like high highs and low lows for sure. I try to look at it positively even though it's hard sometimes. Having the high highs brings out my inner child (Jupiter in the 5th). When I'm happy I'm really happy and giggling and silly. And of course the flip side is low low :( But I like the high highs so I deal. Also with this, I tend to avoid being sad at all costs. All costs. I'm a true escape artist when it comes to emotions. With Pluto and Saturn squaring my Moon, I am infact a MOODY BITCH. LOL, hey at least I can admit it. It brings intrusive thoughts, obsessive thinking, insecurity, and guilt with it too - all that great stuff. Moving on.

Cancer Mercury:

I like my Cancer Mercury a lot, even though it's paired with my all my Leo placements which can make me a ~smidge~ dramatic. I wasn't the best student in high school but I did take the hardest English courses they offered, which in hindsight saved my GPA lol. In college, I studied English with a concentration in creative writing. I mostly wrote and studied poetry which I loved so much. I'm a great listener and if I could write an advice column I would. I love how my Cancer Mercury makes me empathetic and how I'm able to put myself in anyone's shoes. One negative about this placement is that I get hurt easily (paired with Leo Sun and Virgo Moon esp), but I won't let you know I'm hurt, I'll just get angry and mean. I don't like that about myself and I wish I was more vulnerable in that aspect but it's easier to be angry than sad... right?

Leo Venus and Mars:

After talking about all the above placements, my Leo side is definitely my ray of sunshine in a way. I feel like with my Virgo Moon and the aspects it makes, it kinda settles my Leo ego. That's not to say I don't have an ego, I definitely do... just look at this post it's all about meee :) I have pictures of when I was 3-6 years old and flexing my muscles hahaha and I thought I was so strong I would go around and show everyone that I could pick my mom and older sister up. So weird. Other than that, when I dislike someone I tend to go on rant for awhile about everything I dislike about them. My least favorite thing is when someone makes me feel inferior or small, that will put me on 10 easily. I don't get mad all that much, it takes a lot but when I do get mad, I see red. Maybe cause I have Mars at 0 degrees. I do get over things quickly though, emotionally anyway, but I do hold a grudge. Also yesss, I have Leo hair. It's long and thick and hard to manage. Growing up, my mom would never let me color or cut it and I'm kinda glad now looking back on it.

8th house Moon & Venus:

This is why I hold grudges hahaha. In my opinion, the 8th house can be hard to understand/put into words until you experience it (in synastry, transit, natal, etc), then you just know. With Venus here, every person I'm romantically involved with transforms me but also takes a piece of me as well. In my experience with the 8th house, you can gain a lot of good things but it comes with a price. Whether its a mix of my placements or just these placements specifically, love really hurts! Break ups have put me in dark dark places. When I do love someone, I want to merge with them, like become "one" if that makes sense. So when it comes to an end, I have a huge hole left. In my life, this has manifested as when I ran away from home to a different state and ghosted my family and friends just to get back together with my boyfriend, all on a whim. I'd give it all up for someone I love. With Virgo Moon being in my 8th house, my anxiety mixes with my obsessive behavior which manifests as dermotillamania. I struggle with it so bad. I'm working on it but yeah that's kinda interesting looking from an astrological sense. Moon in the 8th house gives me great intuition though... I'm always right about the vibes. But this comes at the cost of feeling things extremely deeply.

Scorpio MC:

This is another placement that I like about my chart because my Capricorn rising makes me come off as intimidating and my MC makes people see me as powerful and mysterious. I don't know if people actually see me this way but even it being a possibility gives me like Olivia Benson vibes. I love her. Anyway, one thing I will say is I don't have social media anymore and haven't for years (besides Tumblr and Reddit) because I really value my privacy. I don't like people knowing things about me unless I decide to share it with them, even small things. Tumblr and Reddit are okay in my mind because I don't know anyone in real life. But even this post I'm already thinking of deleting and I haven't even posted it yet lol. When I did have social media, I would overshare and then delete the post an hour later. I was always deleting pictures and revamping my aesthetic. I became obsessed with likes and comments and scrolling that it was too much and I didn't like the power it had over me. Something else that I think manifests from my MC is that I love psychology, astrology, and things that tie into personalities.

5th house Jupiter & Saturn:

It always confused me on how to interpret having Saturn, the planet of limitations and responsibility, and Jupiter, the planet of expansion and luck, in the same house. I thought that they canceled each other out in a way, or level each other out... is a better way of putting it.  I actually messaged @astrosky33 and asked how they interpret it. Her (?) answer was interesting and made a lot of sense. Jupiter and Saturn in the same house gives off both energies at the same time (why didn't I think of that? lol). So for the 5th house, in terms of my hypothetical kids, I would be a parent that has fun and is silly but also strict in some ways and responsible. One way Saturn in my 5th house manifests is that I don't want to do anything creative unless I feel it's productive in some way, which I don't like about myself. Meaning, I don't want to read a book if the genre is fantasy, I would rather read non-fiction or a self help book; something that I can learn from. Also, I really like hobbies where I can produce something, like making candles or making spell jars. If I can make money from a hobby that I love then even better. Jupiter in the 5th house manifests as being child-like and also loving kids. If things are going well and I'm happy, then I can be excited and goofy like a child. If things aren't going well, then I can throw a tantrum like a child. I love kids because my early childhood was the best time of my life before life hit me upside the head (lol). This past Halloween, I made goodie bags for the trick or treaters and got so excited when the doorbell rang. I don't know, I just want to protect kids and shield them from the bad in the world. Kids, out of everyone, deserve to be happy.

Sun sextile Jupiter:

Things tend to work out for me, well, as of lately anyway. I struggled a lot growing up and I was always wishing my life were different. I couldn't wait to leave home. Now, I have a boyfriend who I love very much and we live very comfortably. I have a great job and I am so much happier than I was before. Of course, life isn't always perfect and there are problems at every turn. I wish I could go back in time and tell 15 year old me that everything is going to be okay, more than okay actually. I have a dog and two kittens who I love very much and I'm very fortunate to have the life that I do. I try to stay positive because there's no point in being negative and sulking all the time. Plus, you never know what can happen so be thankful for what you have, even if in your eyes, it isn't enough. I believe in being nice to people, you never know how far one act of kindness can go. Lord knows I needed it during some pretty tough times in my life.

Venus square Saturn (TW: Eating disorder, drug use, phobias):

Going back to having fear of abandonment and being uncomfortable with PDA... well here is the culprit. Or some of the culprit. Since Venus is in my 8th house, I feel like this aspect plays into my fear of my family dying, more specifically, my parents. Whenever I visit home and I see they look a little older, move a little slower, I get really sad. Their birthdays are supposed to be for celebrating but I can't help but get sad. It takes over me and I obsess about what I'm going to do when the day comes and they're not here anymore. I put on a brave face though and I buy them nice gifts and send flowers on holidays... but it's always in the back of my mind. This aspect also manifests as having low self esteem and growing up this was very prevalent. I didn't care about myself at all; I did drugs, I put myself into bad situations that I get anxiety just thinking about what could've happened. I had an eating disorder, dated boys that were awful. I'm fortunate that I made it out okay. I still have insecurities today but during that time in my life it was so intense because even as a teen without this aspect, you deal with insecurities. It was like double trouble.  

If you read this far, thank you. I hope it was semi-interesting and Im really curious to know what you guys think. Should I make a part 2? I’m feeling a little “out there” by posting this so I hope it's not too much. Thanks again for taking the time to read this.

(let me know what you think!)

[woodlaflababab]

Thinking about Zuko's influence on the audience's perception of Aang, specifically in Book 1. I kinda touched on it in this post but that post is pure unsorted rambling in which I didn't get to delve as deep as I wanted. Anyway, the relevent part was:

"With this whole episode, it's just the fact that Zuko is the reason we first get to see just how fucking cool Aang is. It's so easy to be like the others in the show and see Aang for his childish antics and sweet nature, but Zuko is the one that consistently reminds us, “No, this is the Avatar. He's powerful, he's brave, he's fiercely protective, and he deserves respect and acknowledgment for that.”"

Like, I mean, the point is redundant, everyone knows they are foils, so I'm not saying anything ground breaking when I say Zuko is often the one who brings out the best in Aang and encourages him to embrace being the avatar and that a lot of Aang's strongest charater moments are because of Zuko, yada yada, okay, we know, zukaang meta 101, nobody wants to hear it

But also, Zuko's opinion of Aang is so interestingly different from everyone else's. We get a view of Aang from the pov of himself, in which we see his doubts and struggles, the pov of the gaang, through which we see his antics and improvement and flaws. We also understand the opinion of the Fire Nation abt Aang (pure threat that's weirdly small), and we get plenty on the different opinions of the rest of the world.

If you took out Zuko's reactions to Aang, you'd feel like you know pretty much all there is to know about Aang. But to Zuko, Aang is an ever present mystery. The gaang doesn't really question anything abt Aang except what he can do and the rest of their enemies don't care to know things about Aang

But Zuko does. To Zuko, Aang is a source of constant questions, and this is sometimes played as a joke (i.e. "He must be a master of evasive maneuvering." to "You have no idea where we're going, do you?") and sometimes it hits the very core of Zuko's being and changes the course of the plot, (i.e. The Blue Spirit)

Zuko is unique because, to everyone else, Aang is one of two things. A Hero, or An Threat. He is neither to Zuko.

Zuko has no desire to defeat Aang. Aang is not a Threat to him. Hell, as Iroh says, Aang actively gives Zuko hope. But Aang is also not a Hero or ally.

He is neither a protagonist or an antagonist in Zuko's story. He's a goal. And that's such a unique perspective that allows us to question who Aang is from a neutral standpoint. Who is this person who effortlessly escapes trouble while having no idea what he's doing? Who is this person who saves someone they defeated? Who is this person who looks at an enemy and says 'you remind me of my best friend'?

Who else makes us ask these questions?

Through Zuko we, or at least I, see Aang as more than a person, and more than a hero, but as this unconventional conundrum that defies expectation at every turn, baffling and beautiful. Aang is so much more than your conventional hero and nobody sees or shows us that more than Zuko.

My favorite way to look at Aang is through Zuko's eyes.

[chronicrabbit]

A Very Steddie Christmas

Listen. I had an idea.

It’s post-Vecna. Steve and Eddie are friends. Eddie has had a hopeless little crush on Steve for years, yada yada yada. The usual shit. You get the picture.

It’s mid December and Steve Harrington is hyped up for Christmas.

Steve had always been a Christmas fan. He lives for it; the tacky decorations, the twinkling lights strung up on every tree and house on the block, the joyous atmosphere, the warmth of a good cup of cocoa on a snowy Hawkins night.

Everything.

Steve loves Christmas, even more so now that he has a Family™️ to share it with!

So when he overhears Eddie talking to Gareth about how he’s:

“Never had an actual Christmas”

he knows his services are needed.

He makes it his mission to give Eddie Munson the best Christmas ever, despite Robin’s teasing looks and Dustin’s frown of confusion.

He starts it all off with inviting him over to decorate inside and out, mostly because he doesn’t particularly want to do it himself and Robin point blank refuses when he asks her.

It’s not the funnest holiday activity, but the end goal is worth it; that’s what Steve’d always thought, anyway.

The Harrington’s were not terribly festive people, but they were deeply prideful and competitive, so naturally there were about five shelves in their sizable garage packed full of lights, tinsel, baubles, and other more expensive pieces of decor purchased by a fuming and wine-drunk Claire Harrington after a single and very passive aggressive conversation with Mrs. Thompson across the street.

Steve and Eddie work for hours, ending in tinsel littering every available surface, a bent gutter from a very close call with the ladder, and a declaration of hatred for string lights, but the huge grin on Eddie’s face is undeniable as they stand side by side, clinking together their hideous holiday mugs of eggnog and rum as they survey the impressive product of their hard work.

It looks amazing.

Mrs. Thompson, eat your heart out.

His next step is to bake his Nonna’s red-hot cinnamon snickerdoodles, the ones she’d sneak him every Christmas when he was a kid before his parents decided visiting was too much effort, and to watch a few Christmas Classics.

The cookies were meant to be a surprise, but Eddie shows up an hour and a half earlier than he’d said he would with the movies Robin had set aside for him and finds Steve in the kitchen, hair pinned back, glasses on, and red knit sweater covered in flour despite the apron tied around his waist.

He finds he doesn’t so much mind the change of plans as he and Eddie dance around the kitchen to George Michael, Eddie grabbing the batter covered wire whisk for a compelling performance of “Last Christmas”, a song he very clearly knows none of the words to.

Once the cookies are safely tucked away in the oven, they make their way to the couch, sitting nice and close for extra warmth as “It’s a Wonderful Life” begins to play.

Eddie talks through the entire first part of the movie, and when they return from the short break they take to retrieve the cookies from the oven and divvy them out between the two of them along with two cups of steaming hot cocoa, he talks through the rest through his mouthful of cookie.

Steve’s never enjoyed that movie more.

The third step is a bit more of an impromptu thing, because when Steve wakes up to see a fresh layer of beautiful powdery snow on the ground, he basically has no choice but to round up the party for the worlds most epic snowball fight.

Eddie complains at first, but quickly changes his tune the moment Mike manages to nail him directly in the face with a snowball.

He leaps into action with a declaration of:

“Oh it’s on, Wheeler!”

No matter how much Dustin swears you can’t win a snowball fight, Steve and Nancy definitely take the victory that day between her killer aim and his brutal throwing arm.

They split up into groups after the fact for some more snowy day activities.

El, Max, Nancy, and Steve build a little snow family together, Mike, Lucas, Will, and Robin work exceptionally hard to craft a nice sturdy fort with packed snow and ice (they write out actual equations and dimensions that make Steve’s head spin), and Erica, Dustin, Eddie, Jonathan, and Argyle make a serious of increasingly more ridiculous snow angels, ending in the five of them just tackling each other over to see what shape it makes.

Everyone stays out until their fingertips and noses are bright red and numb, finally giving in and heading inside once the sun starts to set and fresh snow starts to fall.

They clamber into Steve’s house, bundling up in blankets and huddling in front of the fireplace together to watch, much to Steve’s chagrin, the He-Man Christmas Special from the year before that Dustin had recorded over an episode of Night Court (Claudia was still upset with him over it).

And he couldn’t lie to himself and pretend he didn’t know how close he was sitting beside Eddie on the couch; close enough that their shoulders were bumping together with each breath.

He also couldn’t pretend he wasn’t enjoying every single time Eddie would turn to face him, to share in the excitement of whatever was happening on the screen.

Steve hadn’t watched a single second of the movie, far too focused on the dimples that appeared whenever Eddie smiled that big sunny smile, or the crinkles that appeared likewise around his big brown eyes, or the small freckle just over his lip…

Oh.

Oh.

Well…

He’d have to adjust his plan just a little.

With that new information tucked safely away in his mind, his next step became very clear. Thankfully, he didn’t need a different gift idea than the one he’d already come up with, perhaps just a different method of delivery.

………

It’s the afternoon of Christmas Eve when he knocks on the door of Eddie Munson’s trailer, the only one in the park with a complete absence of Christmas decorations or, at the very least, a wreath or something.

Eddie answers with that heart stopping smile, dressed in a blue sweater Steve is 90% certain he snatched from Robin who stole it from him some time last year.

He doesn’t give Eddie much time to greet him, holding out a small green bag with a red bow.

“What’s this, Steve?”

Eddie’s eyebrows pinch together, his smile not quite dropped, more slanting into a look of gentle confusion.

“It’s a present. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow, so…”

Steve does a ‘here we are’ motion with his hands, pushing the present towards Eddie once again.

The movement seems to reactivate Eddie, who pulls Steve into the warmth of his living room with a shiver.

“You got me a present?” Eddie inquires the moment the door was closed behind them, protecting them from the bitingly cold air.

“Of course. Can’t have Christmas without the gifts, can you?” Steve laughs.

“Christmas,” Eddie repeats after him a bit dubiously.

“Yeah, I suppose you can’t,” he shrugs, as if he doesn’t know.

“Exactly, so!” Steve extends the bag towards Eddie once again, shaking it enticingly.

Eddie’s nose scrunches in that way it does when he’s very carefully considering something.

“Steve. As much as I appreciate the constant stream of hot cocoa and holiday cheer you’ve been bombarding me with for the past week, I gotta ask. What gives? Why are you doing all this?”

Steve sighs.

“Well, I…” he starts, licking his lips as he tries to sort out his jumbled thoughts before continuing.

“To tell the truth, I overheard you telling Gareth that you’ve never had a real Christmas before. I… I’ve always loved Christmas. It’s the only holiday my parents would stay home for- well, up until I turned 16, that is. So, I guess I just… wanted to give you one. A real Christmas, that is.”

Eddie presses his lips together into a thin line, his usually open expression strangely unreadable as he considers Steve closely.

He nods when he seems to come to a conclusion, reaching his hands out towards the little bag and clenching and unclenching his fingers as if to say:

“Gimme.”

Steve smiles and hands over the gift bag, his stomach turning somersaults like an Olympic gymnast.

Eddie tears through the tissue paper, sending it flying to litter across the carpet, until his fingers find the occupant of the bag; a single Polaroid.

He fixes Steve with a raised eyebrow before letting his eyes fall back down to take in the picture.

“Alright,” Eddie nods as if he’s trying to understand a joke, mirth-filled gaze landing back on Steve over the Polaroid.

“Ok, Stevie. Very funny.”

Steve can’t help the smirk that overtakes his own face.

“And it’s all yours,” he assures him, playing into the playful tone as he watches Eddie survey the snapshot of the guitar; a BC Rich Warbeast with a glossy black body and a cherry red flame motif.

“I’ll cherish it, Big Boy,” Eddie snorts good naturally, pressing the image to his chest with a dramatic little sigh.

“I sure hope you will,” Steve nods.

“It cost me most of my savings up front, and I still have payments to make on it for the next few months.”

Eddie eyebrows scrunch together at that, that puzzled look from before returning to his face as he pulls the picture back up to take a closer look.

“Steve, wha- this… is this in your living room in this pic- Did you…”

Steve watches as several emotions crossed Eddie’s face; confusion, bewilderment, disbelief, and then, finally, understanding.

“Steve…” he says in what’s barely a whisper, Steve leaning in a bit closer to hear him.

“Did you… did you actually…”

He can’t seem to finish the sentence, so Steve takes it upon himself to answer him.

“I know you’ve been missing your old one. It’s not the same, but it’s the closet I could find and it’s waiting for you under the tree at my place. I had to drive all the way to Indy for it, and it’s not new, but I checked it out and it’s only lightly used. The scratches were easy enough to buff out, and Jeff helped to make sure it was-“

Steve grunts at the sudden impact of a body against his, warmth flooding through him as Eddie wraps him up in the tightest hug he’s even been given in his life.

He can’t help the surprised laugh that escapes him, sputtering as some of Eddie’s hair gets in his mouth. He winds his own arms around Eddie’s waist, pulling him somehow closer and simply breathing him in.

“You are unbelievable,” Eddie breathes as he gives him a solid squeeze before pulling back, though he doesn’t relinquish his hold on Steve’s shoulders.

“So, I’m guessing you like it?” Steve asks through his smile.

“Like it? Stevie, I… I could honestly kiss you right now! You’re damn lucky there’s no mistletoe here, or else-“

Eddie’s words die out as Steve digs in his pocket, pulling out and raising up high above their heads a little sprig of mistletoe with the most charming smile he can muster.

He prays his nerves don’t show through as Eddie’s eyes meet his, wide with shock as they flicker back and forth between them and the mistletoe.

“Damn lucky,” Steve says, his tone steady with resolve even as his hand shakes.

In the next second Eddie’s lips meet his and it’s everything he could’ve ever dreamed of.

It’s everything every single cheesy little Christmas RomCom promises.

Magic.

When they finally part, both breathless and dazed and smiling like complete idiots, Steve tugs Eddie in close by his pilfered sweater.

“So? Was this a good first Christmas?”

Eddie’s eyebrows raise up and he honest to god giggles.

“Considering Christmas is tomorrow, I’d say it’s a pretty solid start.”

Steve allows himself a very John Bender-like fist pump, much to Eddie’s amusement as he pulls him into another kiss.

“As sweet as this is, Sweetheart,” Eddie whispers against his lips, hands fisting in the fabric of his sweater to hold him nice and close, which is lucky considering how hard Steve swoons at the word “sweetheart”.

“I feel the need to ask.”

“Anything,” Steve promises, nudging Eddie’s nose with his own as he presses a couple more gentle kisses against his grinning mouth.

“You know I’m Jewish, right?”

………

I might turn this into an actual multi chapter fic. Let me know if that’s something y’all would want!

[lemotmo]

I am forever baffled by the people who keep saying Ryan is not ok with going for Buddie and saying he is why nothing went ahead with Eddie and Tommy when there is actual proof to the contrary.

Like Ryan saying in interviews that if it went there he would be OK with it, naming the ship back in the day and having played gay roles before.

It actually being talked about that actress availability changed the way storylines went for S7.

I just don't understand how this information can be out there and those people come down to "It doesn't happen because Ryan isn't OK with it"

I just saw another "Ryan is not ok with it" post in the Ryan tag and needed to vent. My apologies.

Hey Nonny! Ah yes, the old 'Ryan doesn't want to do it.' This one has been going around in the fandom for a loooong time now. Even before season 7. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

It's always the same rhetoric: Oliver is game, but Ryan won't do it. So therefore it won't happen. Yada yada yada...

Let me be very clear here: IT'S ALL BULLSH*T! Ryan would be more than happy to see Buddie happen. In season 7 interviews the man gushed over Buddie fics and edits for god's sake. He is GAME! He came up with the shipname Buddie. Before he came up with it, everyone was going with Beddie. Thank God Ryan was there. Imagine that... Beddie. 🤣

So please don't let anyone tell you that Buddie isn't going to happen because of Ryan not wanting to do it. It's all lies.

We can't know for absolutely 100% that Buddie will happen, but I can assure you that (in some strange AU world) if it doesn't happen? It isn't because of Ryan.

Furthermore, please... all of you... keep in mind that you can block the people you don't ever want to see on your dash or in the tags. If you see things like this in the Ryan tag and it makes you angry, just block the account. It isn't worth the aggrevation. You can block them and never think about it again. Don't try to reason and talk with them. Please, just BLOCK and move on.

Anyway, this wasn't anything against you Nonnie. I just needed to vent for a moment. LOL! I would have gotten just as angry as you. I hope you blocked and moved on. :) Have a great day!

[orangewisteria]

Hi! I'm the anon who asked you if you wrote for s//lf h//rm, so I'm here to request something related to it, that been said.

⚠TW: S3LF H4RM⚠ ⚠If you are triggered by this theme please do not interact, we care about your mental state! Thanks⚠

If it's not a problem could you maybe write separate headcanons for Cody, Alejandro, Duncan and Scott with a gn!s/o who they find h4rming theirself?

Thank you and Hope you have a nice day! <3

ᴰᴼᴺᵀ ᴴᵁᴿᵀ ᵞᴼᵁᴿˢᴱᴸᶠ ᴮᴬᴮᵞ

⚠ TW: S3LF H4RM ⚠

⚠ If you are triggered by this theme please do not interact, we care about your mental state! Thanks ⚠

ᶜᵒᵈʸ

-> hes crying a fucking waterfall when he finds you

-> hes trying not to hug you so tight and never letting you go

-> hes frantically running around to gather badnages, napkins, etc etc to help clean up your cuts

-> Hes desperately babbling to you and pleading with you to never ever do this again

-> Saying how if you need to talk to someone or rant or feel like hurting yourself to talk to him

-> Please for the love of all that is unholy in this world talk. to. him.

-> hes not going to let you out of his sight for a while

-> hes gonna baby proof his house now

-> going as far as to lock the coupards that contain chemicals and sharp objects

-> he contemplates getting a safe but goes against it cause he knows for a fact hell forget the password and have to buy new knives for his mother

-> he lives with his mother btw its facts

-> back to the topic at hand

-> he more careful aroudn you

-> treating you like porcelain cause he doesn't want to accidentally heart you (due to your recent injuries)

-> he calls them boo boos by the way

-> hes loving and is willing to do anything to help you

ᵃˡᵉʲᵃⁿᵈʳᵒ

-> hes clsoe to tears

-> hes keeping himself composed so he doesnt break down and panic right at that moment

-> hes carefully dressing your wounds and whispering his worries

-> hes calling you all the name sin teh book

-> princesa, carina/o, etc etc

-> i dont know much spanish lolz

-> anyways

-> once youre all cleaned up and in bed

-> hes holding you close and running his hands along your back

-> hes not going to let you out of his sight or out of arms reach for the next few months

-> he worried

-> he doesnt want to lose the lvoe of his life

-> hes trying not to break down each passing day as he sees the bandages on your body

-> hes runs his fingers over them daily, hes frowning as he does so

-> he changes them daily for you too

-> wont let you do it cause hes going to take care of you

-> hes a worried dead donkey :(

ᵈᵘⁿᶜᵃⁿ

-> hes frozen when he finds you

-> hes confused and worried and angry

-> he wants to know hy

-> why would you hurt yourself

-> why why why why

-> thats all thats on his mind

-> as well as the fact that hes blaming himself for letting you get this low when he most likely could have prevented it

-> hes slowly and uncharacteristically quiet as he helps cleaning up your wounds

-> bandaging them and staring at the with no emotion whatsoever

-> hes pulling you to bed and laying on your chest

-> hes just laying there and listening to your heartbeat

-> his arms are around your waist and hes unusually quiet for the next few days

-> he doesnt want to leave the house cause hes feeling down and soft and yada yada

-> he loves you and would do anything for you so hes a but angry at himself and trying to deal with it

-> give him some time and hes back to his normal self with a hint of more care and softness for you <3

ˢᶜᵒᵗᵗ

-> Hes wailing and blubbering out words you cant understand as he bandages you up to the best of his ability

-> its not the best and his fumbling words nd shit are making you laugh at the stupid words you can't even understand

-> hes glaring at you while sniffling but he understadns somewhat why youre laughing

-> although hes puffing his cheeks and pulling you clsoe

-> hes mad at you for laughing but he hears himself and blushes bright red

-> hes holding you close and never letting go

-> hes just here man

-> he doesnt know what to do at this point

-> so he just holds you close to comfort himself and you at the same time

-> i dont have much for him due to the fact that hes not too good with words

-> he tries to comfort you verbaly and shit

-> but he sucks at it

-> hes better with physical contact

[some-pers0n]

Back on my Peril ramblings again guys

Peril is a character with a lot of polarizing opinions. You've got some people who love her to death, while others who, well, don't. The people who dislike her will go about how she's obsessive. Too clingy and relies far too much on Clay. That or go on about how she's just rude, mean, dangerous, and overall kind of a bad person. I...couldn't disagree more if I'll be blunt.

For starters, Peril is in a difficult situation. She was molded and shaped by her childhood. What she is now is a product of being raised as a living weapon. She was seen as being dangerous and a blight on dragon society. A hazard that, at any moment, could kill somebody. She is danger. She is peril.

Scarlet took hold of that. Scarlet manipulated this tiny dragonet that she stole away from her mother and raised her, feeding her lies in order to keep her docile and dependent. She was never alone. Never to act on her own accord. Anything she did was first of all approved by Scarlet, somebody she trusted and loved in a way. All Peril ever knew was hate and fear, so a dragon showing her any other emotions felt like love.

Peril is...unstable to say the very least. Like I just said, she's got a warped sense of relationships due to her upbringing. She has literally nobody outside the walls of the SkyWing palace. She clings to those she deems as friends and loved ones as she knows nothing else. She craves that feeling of love and especially touch. She has never known the love of a mother's hug. She has never felt the wings of a friend comforting her in a time of crisis. She only wants to be held and loved, but she cannot. She was born wrong. She is unlovable in her eyes. That's what everyone tells her at least.

It's when Clay comes along that things change. For once, she's seeing a dragon who, while still kinda scared of her...is respectful. He holds conversations with her. He's nice, friendly, and when she hears that he tried killing his troop, she immediately relates. It's one of those things that I feel Sick about, where in Clay and Peril both are deemed to be monsters since the moment they hatched when in reality they weren't at fault for anything. Clay and Peril are so good when you actually treat them like characters.

The point is that Peril sees herself in Clay. For the first time ever, she finds a dragon like her. A dragon that at the very least tolerates her. After years of abuse and being shunned and seen as nothing more than a monster, it's basically like Clay is giving her a boquete of roses and confessing his undying love.

She becomes obsessed, even more so when she's eventually free from Scarlet, but that comes later. She holds him to such high regards and views him as a dragon she wants to be around. She's easily jealous when other dragons talk to him. She's protective and constantly wants to be near him. She adores him.

Yada yada, the whole fight scene happens between her and Clay. Scarlet notices that Peril is rather fond of Clay and is using her emotions to manipulate her further. Again, Scarlet is extremely manipulative of Peril. She's the one who molded her into this. She's the one who was responsible for this. She's the one who made Peril feel as though all she could ever be in life was a murder machine, and that Scarlet was doing her a favour by letting that be her existence as opposed to killing her. Scarlet made Peril dependent on her.

So when she's gone...Peril feels lost. She feels like she's the blame for one of the very, very few dragons in her life that at least cared about her being gone. Now she's alone and seen once again as a creep. A weirdo. She doesn't belong here, not in the Sky Kingdom. Osprey is dead (another example of Scarlet toying with Peril's emotions cause the one time she acts out she has to suffer for it) and she's just tossed into the world without warning.

She in turn seeks out Scarlet, eventually finding her. Despite all of the abuse and suffering that Scarlet has put her through, she has nobody else. Scarlet's twisted and distorted love is the only thing she knows. She feels guilty for everything that happened to her.

I think it's easy for people to not really understand Peril if they don't really get her situation. What I lay it out, it sounds pretty easy to understand. Peril is a deeply traumatized and abused character who is shaped by her trauma and struggles to exist in this world as she only knows to kill. She's trying to unlearn all of this. She wants to be better. She's trying to be better.

That's what Escaping Peril is all about: Peril's recovery.

Escaping Peril is the conclusion to Peril's arc, with her coming to grips and terms with her trauma and by the end realizing that she is her own person. Over the course of the book, she struggles a lot. She goes back and forth on her feelings with Scarlet, conflicted on whether she loves her or wants to kill her. Perhaps both at the same time. It's messy and she feels lost and hopeless.

The only real thing that seems to be a beacon of light in her life is Clay, whom is basically not even in this book. Clay is her moral compass here. Anything she does has to be something she believes Clay would approve of. She's doing the exact same thing that she's done for years with Scarlet because, yet again, it's literally the only thing she knows. She is a deeply hurt character who struggles with the whole morality thing because ever since she was a dragonet she's been a child solider. She's trying to unlearn it all.

Which is helped significantly with her friends, namely Turtle. She isn't alone. She has a group of dragons who care for her and like her the way she is. Again, the themes of friendship and togetherness is a very strong one in this arc. The Jade Winglet learn how to be themselves and how they don't need to pretend to be somebody they aren't with a group of dragons who love them for who they are.

Peril...learns. She learns. She grows. I cannot emphasize this enough since some of you guys still don't get that part. Her character shifts and changes and develops over the course of this book. She learns that she doesn't need to depend on somebody for her own actions. Hell, by the end of the book, she burns the scroll of her own volition, knowing fully well that Clay would've hated that. She's acting of her own accord. She learns that she's not a monster and doesn't need to have her flamescales be repressed to be liked.

She's a deeply traumatized character who is trying to get better. She has been getting better, and she will only get better with time. She's happy now. She's happy with her friends and loved ones. Everything will be okay.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Watched some of LMK S5...

So my TMKATI idea of MK starting as a wee little chaos rock/eldritch abomination is looking more like accidental canon predicting.

Wondering how Nine Heads would be involved though - throwing the comet off course by a few eons perhaps?

Now I'm imagining Nüwa fixing up the pillar, giving the different major guardian gods the Heavenly Stones (I hc formed from all the life energies/dao of those lost in the Pillar's destruction, such as the original Stone Monkeys), and they ask her if she has a back-up plan in case the plan fails.

Nüwa: "Of course I do! See this clay rock?" The Guardians: "Yeah?" Nüwa: (*pitches rock into the sky like a sonic baseball*) Nüwa: "In a couple thousand years that rock will come back 'round with all the accumilated cosmic dao we'll need to mend the Pillars if they ever get broken again." Jade (Just Elected) Emperor: "Unorthodox. But nonetheless a good insurance plan." Nüwa, SWK-esque smirk: "He he! I know. I'm a genius."

Que a few millennia later. Sealing the life energy/magic inside the Heavenly Stones has an accidental side effect of subtlety draining magic from mortals and demons alike. The descendants of the humans born from Nüwa's clay figures (early Homo sapiens) + surviving pre-Flood hominids (Neanderthal, Denisovan, Erectus, Red Deer Cave etc) begin to be born without any magic at all. Only the lucky ones like Li Jing or those reincarnated from past celestial beings like Tang Sanzang have the chance of developing these skills.

Nine Heads: "This world of no wild chaos magic stinks. I want to kick things up a notch." (*sees The Harbinger's Comet, a literal conduit of Chaos and Life Magic*) Nine Heads: "I have an idea!" (*readies divine baseball bat*) (*Meanwhile in the Celestial Realm, the Jade Emperor is chilling and making some prophecies*) The Jade Emperor: "Ok, my succesor is going to be the Heavenly Master of the Dawn of Jade of the Golden Door - good, that hasn't changed. Great plague and unrest, don't need powers for that. Yada yada..." (*squints into ceremonial vessel) "...why is there a monkey my house???"

And of course this all leading to the events of "The Monkey King and the Infant" where the Jade Emperor learns about the Harbinger's Comet arriving early and freaks out - telling Wukong to "deal" with it.

Send me asks if you may <3

[wriheart]

Darling and the Charming Siblings

Part three of my Ever After High rewrite let’s gooooooooooooo. I am so excited to finally get these ideas out of my head and into writing.

All of my Ever After High posts can be found here if you haven’t read them, the previous two posts explain the world building and a bit about the magic of Ever After.

So, as mentioned in my original post, the fairytale children are not, in fact, born from their parents, but instead from a magical tree that is planted upon the completion of a story. The major reason I did this is because of…insest. I know, I know, the show kind of explains it away with that one episode where the charming kids are explaining “we’re not related to that charming family or that charming family” yada yada, it never made sense or sat right to me. If all of the kids are supposed to be the descendants of fairy tale characters, Apple and Daring should be siblings. So when coming up with ideas for my rewrite, that was the most major aspect of the original that I wanted to change. So here we are.

My solution still had two problems though: a) if the charming siblings were raised by their fairytale parents, they would all be raised separately, and wouldn't have that sibling dynamic, and b) if they were raised by their fairytale parents they would be raised side-by-side with their love interest (like if Apple and Daring were raised in the same castle), we would still have insest-adjacent bs.

So, I fell back on my nobel family idea that I came up with for the villian kids: there’s a nobel family who raises all of the Prince Charmings. So Daring, Dexter, Darling, and the other charming brothers all grew up in the same home. Out of all of the noble families, the family who has raised every generation of Charmings is the most renowned.

Darling is a little different from her brothers, however. She was not born from a fairytale tree. Instead, she’s the legitimate child of Cinderella and Prince Charming.

For this fanfic (if I ever write it), one of the major themes that I will be exploring is the classism present in the world of Ever After. After all, you have the royals who find themselves born into a happy ending, and the rebels who are stuck with gruesome fates and taught from a young age that they have to go along with it. Then, you have the students without a destiny who are treated like mere extras hardly worthy of anything.

Now what does this have to do with Darling? Well, the fairytale characters are not supposed to have children, after all, that’s what the trees are for. So when Cinderella gave birth to a daughter, Emperor Grim was not happy. But Cinderella is a royal, a queen who has otherwise followed her destiny to a t. By taking her daughter and sending her to be raised by the most prestigious nobel family, it is a slap on the wrist punishment for Cinderella’s offense. If a villian survived and had a kid (or anyone who wasn’t a royal made the same mistake as Cinderella) their punishment would be much more severe. So Darling being raised by the Charmings shows how those with higher up positions are treated differently from the rest of the population.

(It still sucks for Cinderella, don’t get me wrong. To occasionally see her daughter when she visits EAH to see Ashlyn, catching a glimpse of Darling is painful.)

Darling does not know she is Cinderella’s daughter. For all she knows, she’s the daughter of the nobles who raised her. She’s Lady Darling Charming. In addition to the prestige noble families gain for raising the next generation, their children have a higher chance of being accepted into EAH when trying out. So Darling tries out and is accepted. (I’m not yet sure what destiny I’m going to have her try out for but it’s something where she’s a damsel in distress or something along those lines.)

Even though she’s seen as a lady by most, growing up with many, many brothers means she was roughhousing from a young age, and since they grew up with her, her brothers don’t care that she’s a girl and they’ll happily train with her.

When it comes to taking control of her own destiny, Darling is playing the long game. She would rather be taking sword fighting lessons instead of learning how to be a damsel in distress, but in a world where destinies are framed as life or death, she knows that for now, as much as it pains her, she must keep her head down.

That doesn’t mean she’s doing nothing though. Since the moment she arrived at EAH, Darling has been exploring. She knows the castle like the back of her hand: every secret passage is known to her and she uses that knowledge to her advantage. Blondie may be the one who loves finding gossip, but Darling is the one who truly knows everything that is going on at EAH.

So, of course, she knows that Raven is trying to break free of her destiny. Darling is willing to do anything to help, even if it means traveling into the cursed world of wonderland.

Daring, Dexter, and Darling are the three main charmings, but I might have to create a few more charming siblings to tell the story. There are so many tales with princes, and with at least four princesses in need of a prince (Apple, Briar, Ashlynn, and Holly) it makes sense to come up with a bunch more. Plus, I think it would be fun if the charmings grew up in a house with twelve other siblings.

Anyway, I’m trying to keep the characters mostly the same. Darling appears shy and soft-spoken, the perfect lady, when in reality that’s simply a way for her to disguise her rebellious intentions until the time is right. She’s curious, inquisitive, and a lover of adventure. Dexter is very self-conscious. Compared to his other brothers, he isn’t very good at the typical prince things, and yet, he has to be. He can’t fail his fairy tale. He’s constantly under pressure, and the things he thinks about himself are very harsh. Daring is also under pressure, as the prince with the most famous destiny. He’s constantly risking his life to save those around him before his destiny is even started. He sacrifices his own time to constantly be the one people turn to when there’s a foe to be vanquished, so he’s never really taken the time to simply be by himself and enjoy what he wants to do. He copes by constantly making sure his appearance is perfect, because even if he’s feeling tired on the inside, his charmingness must persist.

————

All EAH AU Posts

[youremyheaven]

this is gunna sound so weird... men make my skin crawl. Like im attracted to men but everytime i see a man, my rbf awakens and i become hyper aware of my surroundings 😭

it doesn't help that im attending an all girls college now... any advice on how to ease up pls around them? I find it hard to even want to talk to them 😭 ik all men aren't bad and i may always not be in danger (imagine that in all caps and red) but i just wanna be able behave and think like a normal person around them ( this is so much that i even can't stand strangers)

Loads of luv to you ❤

honestly i hope u meet better men!!! there are some disgusting nasty perverted pieces of shit out there who dont deserve to be around women and i completely get why u would feel repulsed by them.

i wonder if u have malefic influence, they usually struggle the most with the opposite gender

tips on how to ease up around men:

think in terms of energy. dont project anger or hatred because thats what you will see in return. i know this is very triggering and difficult for many people but you HAVE to believe in good to SEE good. despite absolutely everything that ive gone thru, i still believe that people are inherently good, kind and helpful and i see proof of it everyday.

ive had men treat me with dignity, respect and kindness in the shadiest of circumstances and ive had men be nasty to me out in the open, so it just comes down to character. just think of men as people honestly and not as hound dogs about to attack u.

2. imagine them as little boys

sometimes when men are soft or boyish with me, it reminds me of how they mustve been as kids and it warms me. i have two little boy cousins who are 12 and 6 respectively and they both adooooreeee me and want to marry me when they grow up🥺🥺🥺theyre the sweetest kids on the planet and i could never ever feel otherwise, theyre my babies. idk if this is something u can relate to but think of a little boy you're close to, how innocent and silly he is and how you could never see him as a threat or hate him and understand that grown men can be like that too.

3. how we treat people has a lot to do with how people treat us

if you have a rbf and generally act standoffish and cold/distant, then you're probably perceived as being bitchy 😬😬and nevermind men, even women probably find u intimidating or hard to approach. im only saying this because learning how to navigate social situations is 90% of adulthood and the key to personal and professional success.

learn to smile more. i know women hate being told to smile but honestly we should alllll smile more. force yourself to do it until it becomes a habit. be that person who smiles at strangers. dont u feel happy when someone smiles at you??? so in turn, be that person to others!!! <33

learn to get out of your head. most people think too much. i hate spending time with people who talk about everything from a victim pov. like yes sure u/we women, are in a position of disadvantage in many ways, historically speaking but ???? this attitude?? wont get u anywhere. (I'm speaking generally and not about you particularly)

i would say the key is to turn inward and work on yourself. read all those cliche self help books about "how to influence people" yada yada,, learn social etiquette and watch all those youtube gurus who teach soft skills. forget about men and hating them for a second and just focus on self improvement. as you change, youll see the world change with u.

just think of men as people basically. also idk if youre familiar with carl jung but i feel like you have a wounded animus. many women who grew up with an absent (emotionally or otherwise) father grow up to project all that onto men. and in turn have damaging relationships with men!!

im not a man defender and im in no way saying all men are good but i genuinely dont think its healthy to hate, thats all!!

idk if any of this is helpful sikeee but lmk if u have any updates

also lots of love to u too angel!!<3

[blood-teeth]

07.26.24

hello, long time no see!! life's been busy! i'll spare you the details and the yada yada. my circumstances largely have not changed since the last time i made one of these, instead I'll let you in on some progress i've made! the next chapter is already written! it's now just primarily about coding and trying to figure out how to do what I want to do. and this would be

codex

MC personality

coding an allegiance system

i want players to be able to see where they stand with the ROs. kind of like the sims affection feedback.

lore tab

Old God relics found/discovered

and more!

the infrastructure for a poly route

in terms of this chapter, i'm excited to show you all Althea. she's a bitch and a nasty woman. she's so hot it's crazy.

we're still in the early stages of the story, so world building and Plot are still going to be a big focus. im hopeful to start unveiling this story more and more

give me like 3 weeks and i should have the new chap up!

[wander-wren]

almost escaped the anti-ao3 posts this donation round but of course today i get smacked with a few, so i go hunting for this year’s arguments, which, as expected, touch a lot on palestine.

what i’m seeing here is a shitton of inflammatory language and very few sources, and even fewer sources that aren’t screenshots of That One Tweet. most of the arguments from both sides are made on things that aren’t entirely true. i dislike this. so let’s clear the air a bit, hm?

1) ao3 is a racist/zionist organization

ao3 has had its scandals, including the 2023 management scandal in its full glory, which you can read about at the linked fanlore article. that covers several different areas where ao3 messed up. i will not defend these instances. i will, however, point out that very few of the current anti-ao3 posts mention them.

additionally, there is this fanlore article specifically about the issue wherein a volunteer was told to remove “from the river to the sea, palestine will be free” from their status, which is the singular piece of evidence referenced for ao3’s zionism. it has been spread that the otw banned or kicked out this volunteer, which is untrue; they left voluntarily. the otw also offered to allow the volunteer in question to change the status to “i stand with palestine,” communicating the same message in a less polarizing way.

you are allowed to dislike this decision. i do. but the otw slack is first and foremost a professional space, and they are within their rights to ask for political discussion to be kept out—or, in this case, to a politics channel so it can be opted out of. i am not currently aware of anyone having asked the otw board to ban or otherwise address pro-israel sentiments in the slack server, so i cannot actually make any statements about unequal decisions, because those decisions were not made.

ultimately i do not disagree that otw/ao3 have made poor choices rooted in racism in the past, but i also believe many of these posts discussing it now are performative, inflammatory, and misleading, which is not helpful

2) donating to ao3 during a genocide is bad/selfish/racist/etc

there are always problems in the world. this is literally the same argument as every previous year with new paint on it. people can care about more than one thing.

3) ao3 is a scam/mismanages money/gets more than they need/is horrible for not paying volunteers

here is a post i made last year breaking down ao3’s budget. what’s funny is, i saw a post going on for paragraphs about how they “calculated” that ao3 has 2.8 million in reserves (assuming their 2023 numbers shook out, it is like $1.5 million at best. these numbers are public and easy to find) and that they have “no idea” what to do with it and are deliberately not being transparent about it (they have publicly stated in news posts exactly what that money is for).

one very confusingly-worded post seemed to argue that it is morally wrong to have volunteer library workers, which is the same as ao3? something about master’s degrees? i just thought that was funny because. like. what. do you think the volunteers are the ones with a master’s in library science, friend?

also, people have said it’s a scam because they don’t update the site, and i’m like….what do you want them to update, exactly? i just want more tags wrangled. i suppose that translates to me wanting an update on the servers or whatever bit of hardware is limiting the tag system. otherwise i don’t see why you have to fix a good thing.

4) ao3 hosts evil bad fanfiction

ah, the age-old “child porn” argument. or racism is a big one this year. do i have to get into this one? it’s so goddamn annoying. just read the about page or a wiki article with your eyes. anti-censorship. yada yada yada. also, if you use the phrase “child porn” i do not respect you or take you seriously.

okay, first of all, fanfiction does not meet the definition of csam. it’s fanfiction. it’s fiction. there are tags for a reason. none of it is illegal. most of it has been published in real books for money before. you can hate it, but it deserves to exist, and with the way explicit material is getting deleted off the internet (see: wattpad’s new policies, google drive’s new policies), ao3 is a last bastion in the storm.

5) you should check out end-otw-racism for more helpful info

honestly i thought this movement was dead by now, but i’ve seen a lot of it mentioned today so i went to check. some things i found, scrolling alllll the way back to august:

a pinned post from SEVEN months ago that is several paragraphs of back-patting from the mods about how much “work” and “goals” have been accomplished and how grateful they are to the community. no mention whatsoever of what those goals were or what specifically was accomplished. also says the mods are going on break for a while, which presumably is still in effect

a few posts about the otw’s board meetings for various months, each rehashing how a board meeting runs and when the next one is being held. no information about what questions or comments the organization wants to focus on for each meeting or specific actions supporters should take

post about substack being a nazi site now (this is the only post i fully respect)

more board meeting reminders of no substance

a post reviewing the board elections, going over each candidate. the post acknowledges that no candidates mentioned the campaign or its specific goals, and instead grasps at vaguely related topics as if to show the volunteers are listening to them and they have done something

more board meeting reminders

a post about an update to the board’s strategic plan for 2023, which also acknowledges that the update does not really do anything end-otw-racism wanted it to do. many instances of “could have been a great opportunity to” do what they wanted. this one DOES finally state eotwr’s “recommendations” for the next strategic plan update, which literally all boil down to “more transparency,” which i suppose is fair enough

absolutely NO mention of palestine whatsoever

post on the weibo scandal, which is fine but generic, and again, not something brought up ever again despite being made in AUGUST

here i will give you a reminder that some of eotwr’s goals, particularly the ones around moderation and censorship, were unrealistic given the otw’s mission. while i believe eotwr started with good intentions, it seems to have rapidly dissolved into something performative and did not have solid enough organization to actually make any difference. their silence on palestine (and they are still posting despite the “break”) also makes bringing them up in convos about otw’s potential zionist leanings very weird.

at the end of the day, support ao3 or don’t. your morals and reasonings are your own. just don’t lie about them in ways that can be easily disproved, mkay?

this discourse also made me realize it’s been a minute since i reblogged a proper donations masterpost for palestine, so i am on the hunt for a good, up-to-date one now. feel free to link me any you know of.