#but y'know you live and you learn or whatever one day i'll make it work

[firegirl888101]

Insatiable Madness

Diverted-Dimension (Christmas 2024)

|Sagau Yandere Fatui Harbingers x Reader|

Why am I back here again!? Take me back to the canon!

Reader is Gender Neutral!

"Finally!" You cheered, stepping back to admire the Christmas tree in the corner of your living room.

"It looks good." Pantalone commented, looking at all the trinkets placed on the tree. "Although, I believe this gadget would look better placed there... And this bauble, yes, hmm, perhaps on the branch above rather than--"

Y'know, it always takes one person to ruin everyone else's happiness doesn't it? Especially when their name is Pantalone. You rolled your eyes, ignoring his fiddling with what you considered a complete and beautiful tree.

Let's just hope Columbina doesn't see him fiddling with her decorations. For Pantalone's sake, you pray she takes five extra minutes in the bathroom so he can have a safe getaway when he's finished with something he sees as necessary.

Anyway, you've been preparing for Christmas day tomorrow. You wanted to put up the tree earlier, not wanting to leave it this late, however being busy babysitting and making sure all the Harbingers go to work with a happy mood sure takes up a lot of time. Not only does it feel like you're playing a very dangerous version of the Sims, but more importantly, it sucks that when all of them leave you have to entertain the others that don't go to work in the first place.

"It feels like the tree is missing something." Dottore chimed in, standing back with a finger on his bottom lip.

"Please don't say that, The Regrator is already driving himself mad with his own activities." Arlecchino stated 

Ignoring those two... They're right, something seems wrong with the tree. But you used everything in the box, what could be missing --

Oh, of course! How could you forget!?

"It's missing an angel on top!" You pointed out, walking over to the Christmas box and rummaging around.

After a while of digging and loud crashing noises consisting of you throwing out whatever you thought could also be added, you found a dusty china angel missing a hand.

"Agh, this won't do." You scolded yourself. "We'll have to go with a star instead. I'll have to cut one out later."

"Cut one out? How are you going to cut a star out of the sky?" Childe asked with a bewildered expression.

"They mean they'll cut one out of paper you damn idiot." Scaramouche glared out of the corner of his eye.

"I often see the Children of the Hearth doing something similar when I pass by..." Signora thought to herself out loud, leaning on one of the arms of the sofa.

"Yes, the children love cutting out different shapes and animals. It just so happens stars are one of the easiest things to make." Arlecchino nodded in agreement.

If it's so damn easy, why don't you do it for me?? You grumbled with an angry grin. It took you a few days to learn how to cut a good looking star out of paper due to your clutzy fingers, how dare they call it 'easy' in front of you!

"Hm? Why do you look angry at me?"

"No reason." You answered her, sharply turning your head away from her tilted one. "Do I even have any paper left? Ugh, I might have to use lined paper and paint it using gold nail varnish if push comes to shove."

"Absolutely not." Sandrone interrupted you. "That sounds messy and unnecessarily more difficult than if you just bought yellow card."

"And where do you propose I get this yellow card? Out of my arse?"

"No." She looked repulsed. "The shop? I saw some in an isle."

"When and why did you go into the corner shop?" You caressed your head, sighing when hearing her solution.

"That's unimportant."

"Sure it is. Anyway, I need to start thinking about how I'm going to cook Christmas dinner--"

"Oh no you don't." Scaramouche interrupted you with a cold voice. "The last time you cooked a genuine meal that didn't include those 'instant noodles', you poisoned everyone who has an organic stomach."

"No way, the Balladeer cares enough about me to not want to see me bedridden again?" Childe gushed with a chuffed smile.

"That's not important!" You raised your voice with flushed cheeks. "How did you know that what I cooked was 'instant' noodles? I never told you that!"

"I asked a staff member in the shop down the street when I saw the exact same package for sale in one of the pasta isles."

"Oh my god, how many of you have been in that damn shop without me!?"

The room stayed silent, some looking away with a cringe whilst others looked at you with unbothered faces.

“Do I count? I’ve never left the house.” Capitano raised his hand innocently.

"Unbelievable." You cried to yourself dramatically.

"I can't believe he's still fiddling." Pulcinella sighed with judging eyes, watching the banker radically move around the tree mumbling to himself like a robot given an impossible task.

"So this is what happens when you don't give him something to do after a long period of time. Lesson learnt." Pierro sweated, coughing into a clenched fist with shut eyes.

"It's not my fault." He turned to the group with hysterical eyes, every so often one twitching. Considering his eyes are always closed, you’re impressed that his mania has managed to do the impossible. "The Decider won't let me do one of the things I'm best at, manipulating an economy. Denying me access to undermining this country's government is making me go mad!"

"What a lunatic." You ignored him, eyeing his antics as nothing more than a regular occurrence at this point.

"So, we're up for cutting a star for the tree then?" You turned back to the group.

"It's your decision and your tree, so of course." Signora shrugged.

"I'm baaaack!~" Columbina burst through the door like a canary, singing with a pep in her step.

She stopped when she saw Pantalone running around the tree, her energy from earlier vanishing as fast as a bird when hearing a gunshot.

"Erm... It's not what it looks like." He turned around slowly, feeling her menacing and dangerous energy piercing his back.

He put his hands in the air, his smile shaking in fear.

"It better not be what it looks like." Her smile contrasted his own. "Because it seems you've been touching something I specifically warned all not to touch.~"

"He's dead, he's actually dead." Childe commented on the sidelines.

"Amen."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Sandrone left to go get yellow card whilst Columbina forced you to tear down the Christmas tree and start decorating it from scratch. She said it was a punishment for you also, due to letting him rearrange it despite hearing her warning. What bullshit, she just couldn't be bothered to do it again. Anyway, Capitano helped you hold the christmas tree up so you could wrap the tinsel around it without trouble. What a nice guy… even though he technically isn’t helping you with what counts most.

"I don't understand why we're cutting out stars. Can't we just use me as the angel?" Columbina giggled to herself.

"No, that would be weird." You frowned at her. "What I don't understand is why everyone is cutting stars with me. Didn't the majority of you say this is going to be boring? Do something else!"

"The 'something else' you're talking about was also boring." Scaramouche picked up his pair of scissors, tracing his finger on the sharp side.

“I’d much rather cut something up than count how many particles are in a cloud.”

“What does that even mean!?”

“Anyway,” Dottore coughed with an irritated stretching smile. “I propose we make this a competition.”

“Of all the childish suggestions–” Arlecchino was cut off.

“I agree, I agree!” Columbina nodded with a happy smile. “It can’t be too hard, maybe we should have a reward for who wins the competition?”

“Although I find the idea of a competition to be senseless, a reward does sound quite… boosting.” Pantalone thought out loud, a greedy smile on his lips.

“This is not happening.” You sighed to yourself, head planted onto the table with exasperation radiating off of your slumped form.

“But what reward could we put on offer? I’m not against competition, heck, I encourage it! But what could we all fight for which would allow us to fight at our strongest the whole time?” Childe leaned against his chair.

The Harbingers thought to themselves, the room erupting in silence with the occasional cough or sniff. All of a sudden, their heads turned and looked at you. Feeling their gazes burning into you, you looked up from the table to see them expectantly eyeing you.

“Ohhh no. No way in whatever thoughts you’re all sharing am I getting involved in this. I’m not becoming some trophy you can flaunt for the rest of the evening.” You denied them.

“But you’re the perfect solution!” Childe playfully pouted.

“Quit torturing them, Childe.” Signora scolded the young ginger. “I propose this; let whoever wins ask The Decider one question. That question can be related to anything, the future or the past.”

“Hmm, but how would we know whether The Decider wouldn’t lie to us?” Dottore suggested.

“I’m staying out of this one.” Pulcinella put his hands in the air, leaving the room. “You youngsters go have fun, I’ll sit this one out.”

“Rooster, I would suggest staying to supervi–”

“So you can go back to that dirty office you keep closing yourself in to work? No thank you, I shall handle your paperwork today. You supervise this time.” He gave the director a harsh glare, making sure to purposefully hit him with his walking stick before walking away.

“Sometimes I can’t tell whether the Rooster is secretly a teenage girl or is just simply strange…” Pierro muttered to himself. Sighing.

“How about both, mixed in with the fact that he’s a psycho with more control issues than you think.”

“Hm? You think even more than the Regrator?”

“Deffo.” You clicked your tongue. “He just hides it because he’s a champ like that.”

“Don’t change focus!” Scaramouche raised his voice. “I order you to answer me. You will tell the truth to the victor of the contest, no?”

“Hold on, didn’t we agree to ask our own questions once we deliver them to the Tsaritsa?” Childe questioned.

“That was just to get you to not hound The Decider back when we first found them.” 

“Fine.” You agreed with an eye roll, secretly crossing your fingers behind your back like a five year old. You’ll probably just make something up that sounds accurate when the winner asks their question. You’re betting that Sandrone will win this though, this kind of has something to do with her job after all.

“It’s decided then!” Columbina clapped in delight. “The Decider and The Director will be our judges. We’ll work for 10 minutes to create a star suitable to be put on the tree, then will be judged to see who has the best!”

“This is not gonna go well…” You said, trying your best to cover the shaky smile on your face. This is the best! You’ll just pick someone who won’t ask a question you don’t mind answering! Thank you Columbina for giving you this chance.

“You’re telling me!” Pulcinella shouted from the other room, sarcasm oozing like tar glooping down a slope.

“Count us down, count us down!” Columbina couldn’t contain her excitement, her body practically vibrating.

“Alright, alright… Ugh, I regret this… On your marks, get set, cut!”

“Seriously? ‘Cut’?” Pierro turned to you.

“What was I supposed to say!?”

The Harbingers sat at the table immediately started cutting, the sound of card shredding and small pieces emitting everywhere. Guess who’s going to have to clean that up? You thought with a frown, watching card pile up in the small crevasses in your carpet.

Looking around at the Harbinger’s cutting paper, you realise one was just sitting there watching the others work.

“Uhh, Capitano? Aren’t you going to begin?” You asked him.

“No.” His deep voice answered in return. “I am not going to join this display, no matter how entertaining it will be for you. Firstly, my fingers won’t fit in the holes of the scissors. And secondly, I have no question to ask you so entering just for victory would be pointless.”

“Brother, your fingers can’t be that big.” You deadpanned, letting your mind wander a bit too far with the thought.

He simply crossed his arms and continued to watch the others, ignoring you from then on. Oh well, he’s not interfering or arguing back like a child so you’ll let it happen. Besides, it looks like he quite likes watching so it’s the least you could do.

Pierro put an arm on your shoulder, getting your attention. You turned to make eye-contact and saw him hesitating in what to say to you.

“Do you need a defibrillator? You look like you’re having a seizure.”

“Who do you think is going to make the best star?” He said after, not registering your insult you said a few seconds prior.

“Wow. Did it really take you that long to think of what to say to me?”

“Quiet.” He warned you.

“Hmm… Who do I think is going to win?” You mumbled out loud, pretending to give it some thought. “Screw it, I’m not going to pretend. Sandrone’s going to make the best one because she does this kind of thing as a job.”

“Hah!” She guffawed after hearing your predictions, continuing her cutting with a content smile.

“Buuuut, that’s not what makes a star special. It isn’t just perfection, but passion and hope. I want to see how unique some people will make it… within reason of course.”

“I wasn’t expecting such an intelligent reply.” Pierro sweated. “Here I was, ready to scold you.”

“It’s like that’s all you can ever bloody think about when it comes to me.” You deadpanned.

“You give me no choice half of the time.” He sighed with a shaking head. “Your choices are often questionable and must be corrected. Would you rather have a physical punishment instead?”

Is this guy nuts?

“No… No, I would not.”

“That's what I thought.” He turned to look at the competition.

“Decider, help me out here.” Scaramouche clicked his fingers, beckoning you like an old woman would to her juvenile cat.

“Do I look like your pet?” You recoiled in disgust.

“I’ll let you leave the house to go to that dumb park you like if you help me right now.”

“I’m on my way!” You ran over to his side, peering down to see the mess of a star he’s created. It’s not bad at all, it’s actually your style - you like it a lot! What on earth could he need help for?

When you peered down to his design, you felt a cold unnatural hand grasp the side of your head and pull it closer to his face.

“Tell me how you like them.” He whispered. “Would you rather me add more detail or remove it? And don’t lie to me or I’ll kill you.”

“Pierro, The Balladeer is cheating! He’s bribing The Decider!” Sandrone pushed her chair back and stood up dramatically, pointing her scissors at the offender.

“Hey, no fair!” Childe whined. “If he gets to bribe them, let me bribe them too!”

“If anyone is to bribe the Decider, it should be me. I am the richest man in Teyvat after all.” Pantalone shrugged whilst lazily cutting.

“Correction: Ningguang is the richest in terms of all. You only count as the richest when it comes to being a man.” You pointed out. “And besides, I would never take your dirty money.”

Piero coughed loudly to quieten everyone down, all in the room turning to him like a deer in headlights. He waited until everyone stopped complaining and then spoke.

“Do continue with your cutting, you have less than a minute left.” He gestured to the timer. “And no bribery. The first to test my patience and even attempt to do so will be put under experimentation during the rest of our stay here and our return.”

“Oh, by all means, bribe away!” Dottore laughed at the Harbinger’s around him, silently cutting.

Huh? Less than a minute left? But when you last looked at the time they had at least 8 minutes left. You checked the timer once more, and found fat greasy fingerprints on buttons that weren’t there prior. You turned to the old man with an incredulous face, mouth wide open. He caught your staring, and put a finger on his lips with a small almost unnoticeable smile.

Pierro, you cheeky bastard. I love you for this.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

The stars were laid out on the dining table, each Harbinger stood behind their own creations. Sadly but also un-sadly, some Harbingers were too slow and couldn’t finish their star in time. By some, you mean Pantalone and surprisingly Sandrone.

“I’m not going to hear the end of this.” Sandrone had her face buried in her hands, looking at her creation with malice. “In defence, I value time to craft perfection. Announcing a set time dampens my methods and results in mechanics such as this one. Ugh, what a waste!” She threw the craft off of the table, the star unravelling itself immediately.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.” You sarcastically waved at her embarrassment. “And you, Pantalone? What’s your excuse?”

“The scissors you gave me were tampered with! I call for–”

“So I’m the problem? Okay, whatever…”

You walked down the table, looking at each star neutrally then nodding and moving onto the next. Now, you’re not an expert, but did they really think you wouldn’t notice? They all look the exact same! They all look like copied versions of Scaramouche’s design! When watching him try to bribe you, they must have thought you liked his design the best and copied him to have a fair chance. Well, they’re wrong! You’re just going to pick the person who will give you the least trouble when answering their question, jokes on them!

…That was your original plan. After looking at all the stars, you felt a new motivation when noticing one person didn’t copy and stuck to their own principles. Also they may or may not be the only person to not take this seriously and you want to mess with the others a little bit. Pierro will agree with you, he’s the type to disregard any copycats so he won’t have trouble with your choice at all.

“Okay, I’ve decided on my winner.” You announced, stepping back to view the expectant Harbingers.

“Arlecchino, you win.”

“WHAT!?”

“But why?” She asked, not looking surprised or pleased. “I could care less about an answer to a question, nor do I care about winning this childish competition.”

“That’s actually why I picked you. And because your star is an original design - sorry Scara, but uhh, you might have won if the others didn’t copy.”

“Of course.” He grumbled, glaring at the Harbingers staring at him. “One day, I’m going to murder all of you fools and sell your parts to people far worse than Dottore! I’ll get back at all of you for ruining my chances!”

“Anyway,” You tuned his violent voice out. “Yeah, you’re the winner. Pierro, what do you think?”

“...I agree.” He said in a quieter tone. “Now, I will be returning to my office to continue what’s left of my work… and review what The Rooster has already completed.”

As he was walking away, you turned back to notice the majority of Harbingers had walked away to go back to what they were doing prior, bored after realising they wouldn't be able to profit with staying around for longer.

“Do I get to ask my question now?” Arlecchino tapped her elbow impatiently with folded arms.

“So you do want the reward?”

“Despite it not being my intention when joining, I would indeed like something that was promised. Whether it be an accident or a purposeful decision.”

“Okay, fine. Ask away then.” You shrugged.

“As you must already be aware, the majority of my Children from the Hearth hail from Fontaine, the nation of justice. I won’t lie to you, I’m beginning to grow increasingly concerned with the prophecy where–”

“--where the whole nation will be flooded and all the people will be killed except the archon? Yeah, I know of it. Your point?” You finished her explanation, already having an idea of where the conversation was heading.

“Then you will understand I care deeply about the future of my children. Tell me, will I succeed in convincing the Tsaritsa to visit Fontaine to retrieve the Gnosis in place of Rosalyne?”

“Of course you’d use the question to ask about your ‘precious children’.” Scaramouche mocked. “Just how idiotic can you be?? This is your chance to ask about the future!”

You gave a harsh glare with icy eyes in his direction before sighing, a smile on your face. “Yeah.”

“Hm? You have to give a higher detailed response to that.”

“You go to Fontaine, Childe coincidentally also there for his own personal motivations which may or may not be important. The whole time you’re there, you’re investigating Furina and the prophecy. Long story short, that I WILL NOT be elaborating, the prophecy is sorted and the people are saved. This includes the children in the House of the Hearth.” You explained, pleased with the question she asked you and your own personal answer. Wow, you can even impress yourself sometimes!

“Excellent.” She sighed in relief, her face unchanging. “Thank you. But I do have to ask, is the Hydro Archon really working to prevent the flood?”

“That’s two questions. But fine,” You shrugged. “You can trust her. Everything is proceeding to the plan, although interrogation and suspicion do indeed accelerate it to completion.” You thought out loud, noticing her questioning gaze and smiling deeper.

“That’s enough serious stuff. When are we going to discuss presents? Now that the tree is up we need to put the presents under it!” 

“Uh… We’re flat-out poor. We can’t afford presents.” Childe shrugged. “Guess you’ll have to accept my love as a present instead!”

“Ew, what are you, five? Wait… Don’t come over here! Not after saying something like that!” You panicked, watching him run over to you at full speed and choosing to run away.

“Scaramouche you know how you said you’d take me to the park? I’m cashing in that favour right now!”

[dogearedfriends]

art for Bare Your Faces of the Veil by @flippyspoon as promised!! the scanning process stripped the blue of some of its vibrancy, so as a consolation price, here are some exploratory sketches of them just making out on the ground 🖖

[askthekoopsandjr]

Ludwig von Koopa (Head)canons

Cunning, conniving, and classy; this is the surface level of the pompous prodigy we all know and love... or hate. Here's everything you need to know about him to familiarize yourself with my story.

G͟e͟n͟e͟r͟a͟l͟ I͟n͟f͟o͟r͟m͟a͟t͟i͟o͟n͟

18 years old.

- Very important to note: Dragon Koopas do not age the same as humans. It is unknown how they age in equivalence to humans, but the adult age for dragon koopas is their early 30's. Dragon koopas can live for several centuries. The maximum years of life is unknown.

Transgender man, he/him. Gay, asexual, and amicusromantic.

-Transitioned after his 13th birthday. Chose the name Ludwig, loving the high end and fancy sound of it.

Is autistic and completely deaf. Uses hearing aids designed by Iggy to hear.

Ludwig has always been attracted to men, but after transitioning he went through a short period of "now being attracted to girls", because everyone has to be straight, right? Lmao it took a conversation with Kamek to clear that up.

- (P.S. Everyone in my story is asexual because "it"™ doesn't exist haha)

Eldest of the 7 koopalings

- All are biological siblings, born to the late Morton Koopa Sr. and Adaeh Koopa

Self proclaimed leader of the Koopalings. His siblings do not agree with this notion, reminding him that they're a team.

Adopted by Bowser, along with his siblings, at 12 years old

It is unkown exactly how his parents died, but he vividly remembers that fateful day.

- He has uncomplicated PTSD formed from this event. He doesn't currently receive therapy (yet)

Here's the whole story about that:

All creatures in the Mario world... the Underground whatever it's called have all the races/ethnicities of humans. Ludwig and his siblings are German and British from their father, and South African from their Mother.

C͟h͟a͟r͟a͟c͟t͟e͟r͟

Of course, Ludwig is a lil bitch at heart. He's snooty, snarky, sarcastic, stubborn, bossy and arrogant... You get it. Buuuuut! He's not completely terrible and unpleasant. He has a certain persona he puts on when in the face of the general public. He's the GREAT and POWERFUL Ludwig von Koopa, he has a reputation to uphold! However; those who get the rare chance to know him outside of work and royalties will notice he's actually much more lively. He's witty, likes to make bad puns, and LOOOOVES to gossip for hours (whether good or bad) on end.

He usually favors the sound of his own voice, but he's a good listener at times, too!

As you might already know, Ludwig is a total drama queen and lives for theatrics. This means he will show off at any given chance, and act super extra. Think of Rarity from MLP having one of her "moments".

As he stated in Bowser Jr.'s Journey, he never backs down from a fight or challenge. This is driven by his insatiable need to prove himself and pride.

He used to beat himself up pretty bad when losing a fight or challenge, but has gotten a lot better at accepting defeat or trying not to be too upset about it. Take his loss to Mario in Color Splash as an example of him humbling himself and accepting defeat- but also take his loss to Waluigi in the 2020 Olympic Games as how he can still get upset.

He knows he can't be the very best at everything... but that doesn't mean he can't be in the top 5, y'know? So even if he is humbled after losing and embarassing himself, that only means he'll work twice as hard to perfect his skills for next time. I'll get you next time, He-Man...

Speaking of perfection, Ludwig is very knowledgeable and has seemingly endless talents. He can play over 200 instruments, excels in acting, is a surprisingly good singer and painter, and is very well educated in general studies. While wanting to be the very best certainly plays a part in why he's so ambitious, the main reason is because he simply loves learning and doing.

- He owns Ludwig Painting as seen in Mario Kart. His company is in charge of giving each kart their exterior paint job.

Time for a secret... Ludwig has always been an eager student, but has intensified to who is today because of the loss of his parents. Being the oldest, he believed it was his sole responsibility to care for his siblings. He would not allow the destruction and death from before to ever happen again. Once being taken in by Bowser, he quickly introduced himself to the luxurious resources around him to begin a journey of scholarship that still continues to this day.

Kamek was the one who gave the 7 of them their wands. This was not the first time Ludwig was introduced to magic, however. His mother was a sort of "earthy" witch, knowing how to mix up various potions and natural remedies, which she taught Ludwig. To hold a staff of power capable of virtually anything he could dream of, Ludwig chose magic to be his "major". Kamek would personally teach Ludwig magic beyond what he would teach his siblings, since Ludwig was the one who insisted so badly.

- Ludwig might have the strongest magic of his siblings, but don't let that trick you into thinking he's the strongest of them all. Usually, his showboating leads to his downfall.

As his siblings grew older (and with the help of Kamek to talk some sense into him), Ludwig stopped thinking it was his sole responsibility to take care of them. They didn't really want/need that kind of help from him anymore, and it was a bit frustrating to get that through his head.

Beneath those tough scales, Ludwig really does have a heart. He can be kind, and he likes to show affection. It's actually a lot easier to get along with him than it seems, so long as you have patience and don't let his self-absorption bother you too much.

Speaking of affection, he's not ashamed or afraid to let others know that he cares for them. It won't really show when he's engaged in battle, but find him in the castle on an eventless day and you'd see him acting like a normal big brother.

You'd think he'd want to be ruler of the Dark Lands, but that's not actually the case. He deeply cares for Jr. and knows he has great potential- hence why he's always trying to teach and point him in the right direction.

- Let's talk more on what Ludwig likes to do for himself: -

Ludwig takes excellent care of himself. He has an intricate routine for keeping himself radiant every single day (like scale exfoliation, etc). Every night, he puts his hair in curlers and wears a purple silk bonnet. He loves feeling physically fulfilled and looking his best.

His hair is his greatest pride. It's thick, reverently fluffy and voluminous. It's beauty brings him great happiness.

- His hair is naturally curly. It gets that shape from the curls. If you ran your fingers through it, you could feel the texture.

He is more than happy to tell you all about hair care and give you a few tips

He loves frills, hence why he wears that jabot all the time.

He loves to paint outside in the sun. He isn't too good at drawing, so he usually paints scenery and other things that require abstract shapes. He never sketches on the canvas prior to the paint.

This is so obvious, but it should be said anyway; music is his driving force and passion. He only has 5 officially published original works, but has so, so many more unpublished. He creates at a rather fast pace, so he decides to hold back on releasing them until he "feels" it's the right time. He has published many covers of existing songs, though.

- It was his dad that taught him how to play music and his mom who taught him how to sing. The first instrument he ever played was the piano, hence why it's his favorite.

Ludwig experiments with his music. Yes, classical is his favorite and what he's best at, but his passion is music as a whole. He's even dipped his feet in some alternative genres! It's death metal, heavy metal and the stuff Larry listens to (hyperpop, gabba, speedcore etc) that he can't stand.

- Since meeting Suzuka, he's been trying to be more accepting of the rock genres that he loves. He won't want to listen to it, but will support Suzie's decisions and even help him write his music sometimes (as long as it's not the "heavy" parts)

Before meeting Suzie, Ludwig didn't write much poetry, but as it turns out, he's fairly good at it! He and Suzie like to leave suprise love poems lying around for the other to find.

- He may have or may not have left ominous riddle poems lying around to mess with his siblings...

Ludwig is a pretty good cook and baker. He doesn't normally make the meals, since Bowser has employees for that; but if the chefs were ever unavailable, he wouldn't be lost. He likes to joke that he could easily replace the chefs based on his experience of making food for all his siblings. He usually says that to the head chef, because it amuses him to get under their skin.

- The head chef usually gets pissed at this joke, attempting to throw spices and utensils at Ludwig to get him out of the kitchen.

Ludwig loves the theater. He will go to every new show in any kingdom, even if it's in the Mushroom Kingdom. He knows that Mario will be breathing down his neck, but he likes to annoy him and act like he's never done any wrong and act offended at Mario's accusations that he would try to sabotage the show.

- Lemmy usually tags along, as he loves theater too.

Quality time is a must for Ludwig. He likes to hang out with his siblings individually, then all together. As much as he would like to have one-on-one time with Jr., it nearly never happens because the heir is preoccupied with his dad, Kamek, school, and learning to be a prince. He did at least get to teach him to dance once, though. (end credits of Bowser Jr.'s Journey)

- Quality time with Suzie is a whole 'nother story. The two don't spend much time apart.

R͟e͟l͟a͟t͟i͟o͟n͟s͟h͟i͟p͟s͟

Ludwig loves all of his siblings equally. The ones he loves are the most important thing in the world to him. His deepest fear is losing his loved ones.

With Iggy: Ludwig often gets annoyed by Iggy's lack of seriousness and class, but that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy Iggy's company. They both share the insatiable hunger for knowledge, love of science and robotics. They get along very well because guess what? They're both cuckoo insane! I honestly think Lud is crazier than Iggy! Iggy knows how to make Ludwig laugh, no matter what kind of day he's had. Iggy is also a very touch affectionate koopa, so she'll often do this thing where he'll just stand behind Ludwig and rest her head on top of Lud's hair because it's funny. Iggy also manages to steal a hug at least once a day. And often pranks Ludwig with a joke very often. Hey Ludwig wanna get up dog what's up dog not much what's up with you

With Morton: Ludwig almost never gets mad or annoyed with Morton on his own. Morton likes to talk a lot when spoken to and is a very good listener, so Ludwig enjoys having long conversations with him. Ludwig likes to bake with Morton as well, since they both share the interest. He tried to teach Morton how to cook once, but never again after his hair was almost burned off. The two also share an interest in music, so Ludwig will use Morton as a critique when writing new pieces. Ludwig is also more than glad to serve as a listener to Morton when he wants to speak, and serve as feedback for Morton's very long fictional stories.

With Roy: Ludwig is very patient with Roy's short temper and aggressive nature- maybe because he simply doesn't want to get his ass kicked, or maybe he's just used to it by now. He's not often prone to being hit by Roy, given that he would get him back with a nasty magic trick. Roy usually picks on Ludwig verbally (the usual insults you hear about him. It's pretty funny). Regardless, he does not look down on Roy. When you're not looking, he'll smile at Roy's wisecracks and silly nature. Ever since Roy has taken his studies more seriously, Ludwig listens to him more often and ask for his opinion when on missions. Roy will actually ask Ludwig for homework help more often than you'd think. Ludwig is always more than willing, as teaching others is actually something Ludwig loves to do. Ludwig wishes he could show Roy a bit of affection, but we all know Roy's not a fan of that.

With Wendy: Ludwig and Wendy are the young and cunty Statlor and Waldorf. They have mad gossip and drama to share at all times, and confide in each other with their deepest secrets. Wendy actually transitioned shortly after Ludwig, which was the start of the closeness they still share today. They love giving each other make-overs and shopping together. Ludwig enjoys asking Wendy to put on a magic ring show for him, as he doesn't know how to use magical objects very well, such as her bracelets. He loves how graceful yet powerful she is. He considers asking Kamek to teach him how to do something like that at times. Ludwig is the one who taught Wendy how to style hair, despite having none of her own, so that he could ask her to do his. He secretly enjoys when others play with his hair, but trusts very few to actually touch it.

With Lemmy: Ludwig will act like he doesn't care for Lemmy's silly theatrics and clowny behavior, but actually very much enjoys it. He loves Lemmy's individuality and how he brings it forth to the spotlight wherever he is. As I mentioned before, Ludwig brings Lemmy along whenever he goes to the theater. Both enjoy sharing artistic ideas and even collaborating, whether it be on a stage-play or a painting. Ludwig wouldn't admit to this, but he is secretly awed by Lemmy's natural emotional maturity. He often thinks about asking Lemmy for advice or just having him as someone to talk to about his anxieties and fears, but never does because Lemmy is still rather young. He imagines confiding in his younger brother about these things one day, when he's older. (Here's another secret... Ludwig actually likes the circus.)

With Larry: Larry is the one Ludwig parents the most. Outside of missions for Bowser, Ludwig keeps a careful eye on his youngest sibling. That's a lot harder said than done, though; Larry is a hyper-energetic kid who's always wanting to do his own thing. Ludwig is constantly trying to teach Larry everything he can learn- which he's done a pretty good job with!- but keeps pushing Larry to do more and more, which frustrates and confuses the youngest. Ludwig just wants to ensure the youngest has everything he could ever need in life, but he comes off as though he's not proud of him sometimes. That is 100% not the case, but Ludwig is letting his fears and anxiety get the best of him. They do get along well, though. Larry enjoys playing with Ludwig, and typically succeeds in bringing out the elder's inner child. They have that special big-bro-little-bro bond.

💜 With Suzuka: Suzuka is Ludwig's one and only. He knew there was something special about him from the first time they met. They've been going steady for almost a year, and their love for one another just keeps growing. Ludwig will spend every second of his time with Suzie if he can help it. The two often indulge and collaborate on musical works and teach each other new things. Both koopas are well associated with the other's family, and frequent activities with them (such as dinner, helping out with chores, etc). Ludwig is usually the first to initiate physical affection, but both equally enjoy cuddling with each other at any time.

- Lore time... From the second time they met, he was drawn in even further after working together to help Iggy's stupid newest invention from destroying the jungle world (it's a long story). Suzie was smart, sweet and so unintentionally charismatic that Ludwig knew he had to forge a formal friendship with him. He thought it would be smooth sailing from there... But there was actually a small bump in the road. Ludwig was horrified that Suzie's favorite genre of music was metal (More specifically j-metal but to Ludwig it's all the same)! This actually upset Ludwig for a while, and he was not shy to share his opinions with Suzie. Suzie just went :3. He respected Ludwig's opinion, and it's not like he was unfamiliar with hatred towards rock genres as it was lol. Like the drama queen he is, Ludwig tried to distance himself, but Suzie just kept coming around... And played some classical on the piano to get him to come around. Which totally worked. And wooed Luddy for the first time. So Ludwig decided he would try to grow as a person (or Koopa??) for Suzie. He was way too special to ditch over something silly. The months would pass, the feelings would grow, and we end up at Christmas. With the holiday spirit in the air, Ludwig finds he can't keep it a secret anymore and confesses to Suzie. The two have been going steady ever since!

F͟u͟n͟ F͟a͟c͟t͟s͟

Ludwig is a big foodie, with a heavy preference for sweets. He would autistically explain to you the history behind a dish and how it should be made/served

He went completely deaf at some point when he was 14. No one is sure how or why. He used typical hearing aids for a while, until Iggy devised his own pair that Ludwig could wear 24/7 without causing discomfort. They are charged by geothermal energy. If Ludwig happens upon a place where the heat from the Earth cannot easily reach up to the surface (for example somewhere very cold), the hearing aids will go into manual charge mode and have 24 hours of battery.

While Ludwig didn't had a partner before Suzuka, he did go on some dates in the past. Maybe 5 or 6? [I'm undecided lmao] They were all boys of higher class or with some title to their name from neighboring kingdoms, with the exception of one who was a Koopa troop guard in training. Ludwig doesn't really talk to them anymore, but would say hello if running into them.

His tail will wag when he's feeling affection for someone. Hugging a sibling? Little tail wags. Snuggling Suzie? Big tail wags. You get it

Is a total romantic. Will do the corniest things but look good doing it because of his talents in music and acting. He enjoys showing pda, usually through hand holding or keeping his partner close to his side at all times.

His favorite play is probably The Phantom of the Opera

He resonates with victorian goth

Claims to be ruthless, but has anyone actually ever seen him display such intense behavior that went beyond words?

- Even so, he does get a bit cuckoo at times. It may be a result of neurosis.

He actually doesn't use hairspray or gel

Of the siblings with hair, he's been able to teach Larry and Lemmy how to do theirs

He's fairly easy to annoy. It makes for fun pranks and jokes to pull on him

As stated in Bowser Jr.'s Journey, he's quite good at lying, deceiving, and negotiating. You may wanna be cautious around him.

It's really not that hard to make friends with Ludwig. It's just very dependent on the circumstances under which you meet.

[ktchie]

'It's the hope that kills you'

Ted Lasso x Reader

Fluff and Angst

♡ other tags: attempt at humour/ no proof read we die like Rupert should've / possible part two

♡6.1k words

◇ In which Y/n wanted to confessed and Ted has a pastel pink apron.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

She consider herself as a tough independent woman who rather die and be beheaded than show any ounce of feelings or a hint of affection.

Her therapist said it's because she grew up in a household that doesn't show much emotion or any vulnerability. And they're right, she remember the time she saw her Dad shed a tear on the night of her high-school graduation, hiding behind his hands and cool dad stance before abruptly going to the bathroom and staying there for 40 minutes - he came back with red eyes and a terrible pun joke. As if nothing had happened.

So it is perfectly understandable that she grew up hating vulnerability, choosing to stay rigid and emotionless rather to have her whole soul on the palm of her hand. It doest help either that she's the eldest kid, the pillar of her siblings, the one who lays awake at night thinking any and every problems her parents throw at her way, worrying about it to the point her chest hurt and she has to learn to calm panic attack in such a young age.

So that being said, she never really had the full experience of romance or being in a relationship. She flirted with a few men on her lives and had fucked them plenty of times but she never really did the whole holding hands thing and all that cheesy stuff that people always whined about once the clock hits 10 and loneliness hits you like a freight train.

But meeting Ted, meeting Ted makes her want to dive head first on whatever corny things couples do in this day of age. Whether it be kissing on the rain or robbing a bank at 2pm in a Sunday afternoon.

She stared at him from across her, sitting so patiently like an overgrown child with a cup of steaming hot coffee.

"Something you need, Ted?" Her tone of voice held nothing but pure professionalism that made her quietly hissed.

Ted looked at her with his big brown eyes that makes her heart all googoo gaga, she sometimes wonder if Ted is secretly part of some hidden government group because she swore that puppy eyes could stop a international fued.

"Oh you know, just wanna visit ya'" he stated with a cheeryness only he can produced in the morning, all dimple and wide smiles. "'been awhile since I saw you, thought you're actually avoiding me but boss said that you're six feet under with all the work you got goin' on"

She chuckled at his words "Ted, I don't think there's anything in this world that could keep me away from you" she answered with a subtle smile, if she wanted him she would get him, whether it be by words or thousand of prayers.

Ted looked at her silently, wide eye and a blossoming blush on his cheeks. He looks ethereal underneath the early morning sun, a fallen single strand of hair dangling on his forehead that makes her hand itch with yearn to fix it.

"But I have been awfully neglectful to the rest of you, haven't I?" She decided to move on from her flirting (?), she doesnt want Ted to dropped dead on the floor from all the blood on his head. "I've been busy these past few weeks, but Will told me about the team plan get together on Sam's restaurant. I'll make sure to attend it, even shoulder the payment if we can get Sam to give us the bill"

Ted nodded his head, tounge tied for once, some part of her rejoiced while the other part, the one who always fear rejection and if she's being too much or too stupid, fear for whatever friendship they have (or had, if worse comes to worse)

"I-well" he cleared his throat, looking at her through his weirdly long eyelashes that always made her tear up in awe and envy.

"We can uh' y'know, we can split the bill, don't hav'ta shoulder it all by yourself"

"No its alright" she shook her head, she contemplate touching his arms, feel the soft fabric of his awfully comfy looking sweater and the skin underneath it but she decided not to, Ted might freak the fuck out and leave the room yelling 'HR! HR!' And have her fired and be shamed by the rest of the Richmond community for touching their beloved American wanker. "Consider it as my payment for forgetting to visit the locker room"

"Wasn't your fault, anyway" he shrugged before gesturing to the tower of folders and impending blueprints for the upcoming renovations and building upgrades. "I mean take a look at that, the great mt. Everest would cry if he saw this monstrosity. Even looking at it makes my stomach all funky" he shudder at its sight. "Do you even take a break? Jeez."

She sighed and leaned back on her office chair "from time to time, 15 minutes or 5. I like to finish my work early so.."

Ted frowned, he has one of those upset looks that makes her heart clenched and crack little by little until it exploded on her chest and she has to pretend she wasn't in pain so he could view her as a normal human being and not a lovesick teenager. "Ya should take a better care of yourself, you can't just go 'n on 'n on workin' till you drop dead" if it's possible, his doe eyes turned even more sadder. " its not good for you"

She bit her lip, her thighs moving up and down underneath her desk. She never liked it when he's anything but happy. "I can go take a rest when I go home and take a rest some more once I finish of all this work. its fine, don't worry too much about me"

"How can I not worry about you?" Ted leaned in, sad eyes and furrow brows. "Youre my-" he sighed before he shake his head "heck, If I had known you're over 'ere slowly killin' yourself i would have yank you from your desk till you're screamin' and cryin'"

Screaming and crying huh? Oh she can do that, alright.

"Ted.." she sighed, trying her hardest to ease the furrow on his brows "its fine, im fine. Don't worry about me too much. there's another game coming up, thats what you should be focusing on yeah?"

Ted sighed deeply, leaning back on the chair before nodding. A lock of hair fell down on his forehead, perfect it was, and y/n thought he never looked more beautiful then. She wonder if Ted kept his hair perfectly gel all the time or if he had ever let his guard down on the four walls he had been forcely call his home.

She would love to see him just him, just Ted, with his goofy smiles and bad puns and old reference from a bad film made years before.

She would love to love him, flaws and imperfections and bad days. She would paint him beautifully, perfect at every stroke of her brush and no smudge of mistakes and yet she knows she still wouldn't do him justice. Ted is just too perfect, too lovely, too godly to be even be depicted on a rough white canvas of this wretched world. Ted deserves to be painted in the walls of the church, or at every thread of the clouds, he was meant to be seen and to be watched and to be memorize until his kindness and his generosity and smile are engraved deep within everyone's heart. Y/n wanted to worship Ted with utmost devotion that her mouth would utter prayers like a second breath, until her two pressed hands bleed and flowers grow between her palm.

She watched him sat across her, his gaze darting everywhere on the carpet before a smile slowly broke on his lips, eyes suddenly lighting up and whole body perking up.

"Hey" he looked up to her, grin and joyful gaze "guess what I cooked last night" he had said giddily

"if you get it right I might just have to take a peek on that ridiculous sitcom you've always buggin' me to watch"

She scoffed, offended. "Modern family is not ridiculous, it's the best thing that ever happened to television-"

"Now hol' up. You're gettin' ahead of yourself now, sugar" she pretended the pet name didnt make her stomach flip and twist and did all kinds of wwe wrestling stunt. 

"I'll have you know that you're wrong, there are tons of- you know what, I ain't even gonna argue with you because we're both too tired for this and I'm too excited to tell you what I cooked last night, so just guess, come on"

She squinted her eyes before sighing as she started to think. "Well, last time we spoke you wouldn't shut up about barbecue and kebab and that one burger that sounds like it could kill you from one sniff"

"Triple cheese burger with bacon crisp, 3 sunny side eggs and curly fries dipped in ranch and garlic sauce with side on-"

"Sounds awful. Americans and their ridiculous food, seriously how are you not dead yet?"

Ted had shrugged with a sickeningly sweet smile "have no idea, but its good 'n ya know what they say 'enjoy life while it lasted'"

"Curse that qoute for manipulating you, let's just pray you wouldn't drop dead in the middle of the court because we can't handle your decaying body and another lose at the same time"

"You betcha! Now guess what I cooked!" Ted was almost jumping from his seat, propping his head on his palm as he stared at her.

"Come on, now"

"Curry"

"No"

"Friend chicken?"

"Nope, but boy I would love to have that right now"

"Salad?"

"Heck no! You kiddin' me?"

"Uhhh, curry?"

"You already said that!" Ted pouted lightly and she almost reach out to trace the bottom of his lips and mumbled how sweet he look right now but thankfully she stopped herself.

"Allright I give up" she threw her hand up and sigh "anything you cooked is fantastic anyway, doesn't matter what it is"

"Oh, arent you a sweetheart" he smiled at her so adorably it made her tooth ache. "I'm glad you think so because I just cooked f/f!" Ted yelled so excitedly, arms spread wide and eyes bright.

She looked at him with agape mouth

"F/f? Are you serious?" She grinned so widely, it has been awhile since she tasted it, mainly because the only f/f she had ever ate is the one her mother cooks.

"Course! I wouldn't lie to ya!" Ted had stated "I couldn't get some shut eyes last night so I decided to make it, better to do something than nothin' at all am I right?"

She's still looking at him, as if in trance. "Wow Ted..I mean im pretty fucking pump but-well, why did you make it? You could have baked, you usually bake when you have nothing to do"

Ted looked away from her, cheeks suddenly getting warm and pink under the sunlight. "Oh you know..just miss ya' I guess"

Her heart crumbled and melted inside of her chest, she could feel its warmth drip from every nerve she has and settle deep within her guts and lay there until she has to curl her toes in a pathethic attempt to calm herself down.

He took a peek at her under his lashes. "I was so used seeing you every darn morning 'ere so it makes me all sad and upset when I don't. Even coach beard had to knock some sense in to me, told me to keep my marbles together or else he'll hide my barbecue sauce" he lightly chuckled "pretty heavy threat, if you ask me"

"I didnt know you miss me so much"

"Are you kiddin' me? I miss ya a hell'ava lot more than 'much'" Ted had almost yelled "i miss ya more than Roy misses running! And thats alot"

She laugh quietly, both in amusement and the tickling feeling deep on her stomach that normal people (with normal amount of love on their heart) would refer as butterflies, but for her, for someone who love too deep and too vast and too much and for a girl like her that grew up reading stories and fairy tales and movies characters with soft confession under bright stars and harsh rains, she could refer the feeling on her stomach as a clawing beast, a magnificent one born on legends and shaky words of the fear locals, with a ferocious growl and wild eyes and fangs as big as a tallest house.

In short, everytime Ted does something so adorably lovely on her eyes she could feel the entire animals on her stomach.

She looked at him with a gentle smile, eyes bright and so so soft - looking at him a like proper lover would. "I miss you too, Ted" she had said almost like a whisper, like a sin. "More than you could ever know"

The statement sounded too intimate, the tone too romantic to be said between casual friends and even the silence after it could be written in a pages of old romance stories - describe it like moment after the music, where the two of them stares at one another with that yearning look that makes all the reader sick to their stomach.

Her words sounds like a confession, one that is so gentle even the gods up above would melt where they stood. She didn't utter the proper words of 'i love you' and didn't open her palm where her bleeding heart lay and offer it to him with a desperation - but the way she said her words, the way every letter soud so much like a sudden whisper in a night of passion and sudden realization of devotion and adoration makes her statement more than a confession - as if it was an oath, a promise set on stone. Like a knights word as he kneeled on his king and offered the edge of his swords, bare against the world, bright steel and fierce glare as his lips mouth his promise, the words he would live and die on, where war would start and where it would end - be it by his blood or his foes. And similar to that y/n is ready to be let down on where she sat, to spill her heart like a leaking wound and let it stains them both, let him know how she feels, how serious, how much time she had spent pinning after him, yearning, adoring him so silently like a lovesick suitor from afar.

Ted grinned at her, dimple deep on his cheeks and that damn fallen hair on his forehead that makes him so so lovely. He opened his mouth and y/n waited with bathed breath and wonder what words would come out but before he could even roll his tounge the door of her office opened with a harsh loud push.

"Y/n we have to- oh. oh Ted! Good morning!" Higgings strolled in clumsily and no matter how much she love the little dork she kinda want to crush his glasses on her palm and send him home.

"Higgins! Nice to see ya today, buddy" Ted stood up to greet him and to give him a pleasant hug and if the coach is annoyed at anyway, he didn't show it. God he's so kind its annoying..

"You too, Ted. You too" Higgins replied with a smile that reserved only for Ted, filled with gratitude and adoration before he turned to her and she watch, with great amusement and a little irritation, when that smile fell down on his lips. "And uh, we need to talk"

She sighed mournfully, waving a goodbye to the wonderful conversation she was having with her love and to the words he would say earlier. She gestured Higgings to sit across her before she met Ted's eyes.

"Im afraid we'll have to cut our cheesy conversation here, Ted. Duty calls and if you want someone to blame, blame Higgings" she pointed at the man with a teasing smirk that had Higgins poor heart rapidly beating with nervousness.

"What? But I'm merely doing my job-"

"Im fucking with you" she patted his shoulder with a light laugh before glancing at Ted, who still remained at her office with a smile.

"I'll gave you a call later" Ted had said "let's have a dinner, ill cook for ya'"

She bit her lip to keep the ridiculous love sick smile threatening to rip her mouth apart and nodded "ill look forward to it, have a good day"

"You too, sugar"

And he was gone and if Higgins wasn't infront of her, staring at her with that bewildered look only spooked squirrel could do she would have stood up and do a cartwheel on her carpeted floor because holy fucking shit Ted is going to cook for her, just for her, not like those times where they eat together on the locker room and she has to sneakily steal his lunch - tho she knows Ted wouldn't mind Beard is another problem, she still thinks Beard has a few dead bodies on his back, the man has a stare of a despondent convicted murderer inside a prison cell. Its crazy.

"Oh." Higgings blink rapidly, his mouth subtly and slowly forming a smile. "You and Ted?"

She squinted her eyes "We're friends"

"Not with that look in your eyes, no"

"What did you eat today to have you acting this cheeky, my dear Higgins?" She looked at him up and down with a scowl.

The man let out a grin

"I should be the one asking that" he then leaned in "or should it be 'who did you meet today that have you acting this lovesick, my dear y/n?"

She flush red "You're fired"

"That'd be the 205 times you've fire me and I will continue to ignore it as long as I live"

"The first time i did that you sobbed on my shoulder"

"Well its.." he looked away "it was a different time"

"Sure it was"

____________________________________

"Look what we have 'ere-"

"JESUS, ROY!" She had jumped 2 feet from where she stood, clutching her heart and her car keys.

"What the hell man!"

"What? You got yourself an American man and suddenly you're weak of heart?"

"That doesn't even make any sense.." she mumbled with a disturbed look as she stared at him. "What are you even doing here? and I dont have an American man, get your head straight"

"Its a fucking parking lot, im allowed to be here" He commented with a glared as he not so softly leaned on her car.

She sighed through her nose, annoyed. "What i meant was, why the fuck are you even standing about in here and suddenly appearing from the darkness like a...hairy angry batman"

"Im not fucking hairy!"

"you shed like a golden retriever, you're not fooling anybody!"

Roy, the dog, growled in annoyance before he blocked her way to the driver seat.

"Please move or ill yell bloody murder" she stated suddenly so so exhausted.

"Why actin' so rush? Got somewhere to be?" She squinted his eyes at him, suspicious and contemplating why is he being such a dick.

"Why are you talking to me like you're about to take my lunch money?"

Roy, with the little patience he has, growled once again before he shook his head, as if he was the one getting annoyed and tired on the conversation. Then he stared at her, right on the eye, as if wanting to burn her soul and cook her alive.

"Youre really not going to tell me?" He had asked, hands on his hips.

"Is that how it is?"

"What?" She ask, confused.

"You and Ted" Her eyes widen, what is he on about?

"Me and Ted? What about us?"

"Higgin-" he cleared his throat "I mean, someone told me you and the little prick was getting all chummy in your office. Even got yourself a fucking date, how lovely"

She sighed "there wasn't a date Roy, Ted and I are friends. And we aren't getting 'chummy' or whatever kind of meaning that word has in your vocabulary and tell Higgins-"

"It wasn't higgings"

"-tell him to keep his damn nose out of my business or ill key his car"

Roy stared at her for a long second before he clenched his jaw and mumbled a 'fuckkkkk'

"We're-" he swallowed before he looked upwards to the sky, as if begging the gods above to give him more strength. "We're-..f-friends, arent we?" Her eyes soften in both adoration and amusement as he grimaced with every letter he spoke.

She chuckled "we are, no matter how much you disdain that word"

"Then," Roy had sighed "believe me when I say that that cowboy Mr. Rogers is fucking inlove with you"

Suddenly the air felt too thick and her clothes felt too hot. "Roy, i think you're wrong. Ted wanst-"

"Don't you fucking dare tell me he wasn't because a blind bloke could see it in a mile away, he wouldn't fucking shut up about you. fuck sake, He even draws you!" He yelled dramatically, hands shooting in a air in a form of exaggerated irritation that only Roy Kent could do. "Those past few days where you lock yourself up in your bloody office has been the worst days of my entire life, Ted looks constipated half of the fucking time and all he does is broods and broods and fucking complains about you. He's insufferable! Beard has to talk to him in the bathroom to get him straight!" He massage his temple before sighing and looking at her so gently then, so softly, like a brother would, like a friend would do, like someone you can hold onto when life gets though and days gets bad.

"Believe me, he's inlove with you.." he softly said like a whisper.

"In every possible way a human could love, he's inlove with you"

Her breath hitched from her throat, tounge heavy on her mouth and her heart beat could be hear from miles away. The beast inside of her guts fell silent, almost asleep, like his words strike straight to his heart and send him down on the ground, wounded and shaken and could never get back up.

"I came here to.." Roy cut short, finding the proper words. "To tell you how happy I am that he finally work the balls to ask you out, but turns out he's still a fuckin' pussy and a mess of a man"

She chuckled and shook her head.

"Ted is.." She lick her lips and leaned on her car, Roy beside her and shoulder apart.

"I don't think Ted would do the first move, he's..afraid, I think. All his life Michelle was the only woman he knew, only woman he loved and if what you're saying is not true, then she's the only woman he would forever love" she said almost mournfully. "Divorced is hard, specially for someone like Ted who loves too much and give too much, maybe that's the reason why I'm hopeless inlove with him to the point of humiliation but who fucking  cares, right?" She shrugged.

She then swallowed before sighing a shaky breath. "I'll uh, ill confessed tonight. While we eat dinner, ill..ill try, and if- y'know, he doesnt like it then I'll back off" she bit her lip as her gaze burn holes to the pavement.

"I'll love him from afar, cheer for him from the stands and sob on my office if I saw him and sassy together again"

Roy chuckled "i remembered that one" reminiscing her worst times of sobbing half dead on her office table mumbling how cruel it is to love Ted and asking what Sassy has that she does not.

"Maybe ill hire a hit man too, have them kill you so you could forget about it" she bumped his shoulder with her own and lightly laugh when Roy grunts.

"I'll write it with my fucking blood, believe that"

"Write it with your chest hair and ill believe it"

"You fucking cunt-"

____________________________________

"Sorry 'bout the mess.." Ted gestured to the perfectly clean living room with a sheepish look. "didn't have time to clean up. I'm just too excited to cook for ya I forgot about everything else"

"That so? Well I'm excited to taste it, I'm sure it'll be wonderful" she smiled at him as she put the bottle of wine down on the marble kitchen bar.

"Oh it'll blow your socks off, its nothin' like the food at Sam's restaurant but its darn good if I say so myself" She watched silently as Ted, adorable adorable Ted, wore his pastel pink apron, tied it around his waist and fluff it with a lovely smile that almost had her clutching her precious weak heart.

"Im sure it'll be delicious" she say, referring more to the cook rather than food. "I like anything you do anyway, so"

Ted glance at her and smile, all dimple and bright eyes. It made her smile too, softly, subtly, like one of those yearning smile that hides thousands of words and promises and hopes and desperation.

Ted went back to his cooking, whistling a tune she swore she heard before. He was telling a story, one about a fish and a basketball and a prom that gone wrong but for the life of her she could not listen.

She thought about her conversation with Roy, the words he had utter that made her want to pour her heart out and confessed to her love. She dont want to be hopeful, being hopeful is nothing but a wish on the wind in this place. It is the poison that rots your mind, that decays the flower and the trees and the grass, break the ground you stood up upon - watch it crumble and crumble until your legs become weak and your bones break from your flesh and you fell ill and sick and cough blood until you die and wish that you should have done better, that you should have stayed quiet and at peace and settle from staring from afar instead of watching your own skin slowly peel away as you continue to hope and hope and hope and watch as the filthy earth swallow you whole and- Jesus christ she should really stop reading those sad terrifying books Nate had been recommending her alot, its ruining her head in the worst ways.

"Ya feel alright?" Ted's voice woke her from her thoughts.

She looked at him furrowed brows and concerned eyes. "Im good, it's nothing"

"We could just watch a movie, you know? Order some good ol' pizza and have a laugh on some bad movies and oh! You know what? we could just watch your favourite-"

"I rather just taste your food, Ted. If you don't mind"

"But you look tired" and there it is again, the puppy look, the vain of her existence. God he's so terrible she kinda want to kiss his face and pinch his cheeks.

She chuckled "arent you sweet"

"Oh gosh! I didnt- darn, I didnt mean it that way, sugar!" He was panicking, going all over the kitchen with his cute apron on and little sauce smudge on his cheeks.

"You l-look tired but y'know still pretty, and cute and-and you know? Please darlin' I didnt mean to offend you i just want to-"

"Hey, hey, hey.." she called out to him with a barely contained humour smile "I get it, I was fucking with you. I'm just joking, calm down"

He slumped dramatically on the counter with a sigh "oh goodness, you had me there. Thought I was gonna loose ya'"

They had talked a little bit, or maybe too much, she couldn't exactly remember how long it was or what it was about but she had know they had laugh and jest and share a few stories of their childhood and back when they're still a foolish teenager who didn't know what they want and where they belong - she  still don't know now if she was being honest, she wasn't really the kind of person that plans ahead of time, or give a genuine thought on what she wanted to do in the future and how she will get there but Ted is, Ted knows, Ted understand what he wants and how he will get there and what he see himself on the future and in which place and who he was with, it made her fall a little more inlove with him.

"How was it?" He had asked as he leaned in, nervous and fidgeting.

"Oh gosh please say somethin' I'm about to blow a nerve over 'ere"

She laugh "it was good!" And it is, the best curry she probably had.

"Its perfect, Ted. Even the spiciness is perfect"

He blew out an air "oh thank god, I was so worried ya wouldn't like it! And to be completely honest with ya' I thought I switched up the salt and sugar halfway"

She laugh again, it wasn't even funny, she's just inlove and a complete fool.

Ted started to talk about his day, down to what he had ate for breakfast and how terrible his coffee was 'it tasted like cow piss' his words. He then talked about his theory that Nate is secretly a goverment spy forced to work with him for a very dangerous top secret world breaking undercover mission - when she asked why he think that - 'because nate is a genius and there ain't no way he was a water boy before I came here and coach beard told me he saw nate yesterday slap a fly in a speed of light and didn't even flinch'

It was ridiculous theory but she then remember the amount of gory psychological thriller books Nate has been recommending her for the past few days and a good amount of them involves a spy or two. She wasn't convinced but she'll keep an eye out just incase.

"-it wasn't that much of a big deal"

"You set your school on fire!" Ted had exclaimed rather dramatically, on her opinion, as she told him her high-school tales.

"Thats like- Thats arson!"

"Its not arson if they don't know someone set it on fire" she tap her forehead lightly as if gesturing Ted to see how smart she is. And Ted, bless his heart, actually nodded.

"Youre right, thats smart. Look at ya' getting away with crimes in such a young age!" He grins so beautiful she was actually proud of what her foolish younger self did back then.

"You sounds awfully proud of me bring a criminal"

"Well its kinda awesome and speaking of awesome!--" his eyes was bright and there's a little smudge of sauce near his lips, he looks adorable and loveable and she just suddenly want to kiss him stupid and tell him how much she loves him-

"--Sassy and I are going on date this weekend!"

A glass shattered on the background.

She wasn't adventurous or a sucker for pain and near death experince but if someone had ask her what it would feel like when an arm go through her chest and crush her heart in one fist, she would describe what she's feeling right now in exact gruesome detail that even Nate would vomit on the corner.

She couldn't stop her smile for falling from her lips or the soft disbelief of 'oh' that escape from her tounge, its amazing how a simple two letter words sounded so broken out of the millions she had uttered before.

"Thats great, Ted" she thank every God there is that her voice didn't came out robotic "im happy, you deserve someone who can take care of you"

Ted nodded his head with a grin that is far too wide for his cheeks and then he stared talking, he was saying something but she couldn't hear it, didn't bothered to hear it, she was too busy wondering if the feeling of absence on her chest had been there long before or had just recently appeared now.

"-aint it funny?"

"Yeah" was her response even if she didn't hear any word of it, she avoid his gaze as she wiped her mouth with a tissue and cleared her throat - there's a vile stuck on it that she couldn't seems to swallow.

"Ted, I-uh, I think I'm gonna go home. I'm not feeling very well" she was a liar and a coward but she rather die than cry infront of him -  and suddenly she was young again, alone in her room, toes cold from the floor board and clenching her hands into a tight fist and wondering what is it about her that is unlovable.

"Oh, uh, okay" Ted stood up from the table "are you feelin' dizzy? Does your tummy feels funny? Do you wan-"

"I don't" she said firmly, she was upset, mad, not to him but to herself, for even hoping that she could have this. "I don't need anything, thank you" she lied and swallowed the humiliation of even wanting to say everything she wanted to say to him. All those words she wanted to confessed makes her sick to her stomach because how fucking dare she believe she even has a chance? How foolish to even assume she could have Ted?

"Nothing like a good rest would fix" she had stated, hoping to ease his mind but her chuckle came out weak and sad.

"Okay uh, ill walk you to your apartment - I mean, flat, christ-"

"Its okay" she grab her bag "I can walk by myself"

"I don't think its safe-"

"I can handle myself"

"Still, you look a little pale and I can't have a gal like yo-"

"Fucking hell Ted!" She had yelled and the guilt settled on her stomach as soon as she did so.

Ted look at her like she wasn't her, like another person came on his flat with a face of a friend he adores and she wanted to laugh because how could she want to love him and care for him when she could barely be half of a kind person that he was?

"Just- fuck, I got it. I can handle myself just dont-" she sighed through her nose and looked down, she could feel the tears on her eyes and but none of them fell down.

"Just let me be, yeah? I'm not a fucking toddler you need to be coddle all the time"

There's a pause before Ted nods "Okay" his eyes were sad, sadder than anything she had ever saw and it would've break her heart if it weren't shattered before.

She looked at him silently, a second. She almost wanted to say it, say the words, just lay it all on the table and let Ted feast on the remnants of her broken heart and whatever is left. He'll take good care of it, she knows. That's a kind of man he is. Maybe even fix it together with some melted gold.

"Im sorry" Ted was the one who apologized even if she should be the first, it made her guts coil. "I didnt mean to upset you, I was just-just worried. I'm sorry"

She looked down and clenched her fist, dig her nails on her palm.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, I was being a dick and I have no excuse-"

"Youre tired and you're not feeling well, 's okay"

"Its not, Ted" she shook her head "I shouldn't have talk to you like that, you're my-" she swallowed "youre my friend, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry"

Ted smile, sad and worried all at once. "Its okay, I forgive ya'"

He shouldn't be, atleast not this easily.

"Okay" she nod her head once before she turn to the door with trembling hands.

Ted appeared next to her and held the door open for her. "Be safe, sweetheart"

'Don't' she wanted to whisper but felt too tired to do so.

"Call me when you get home"

"Will do"

The ground was wet as she walked and the road felt much sadder than before, the cold night air beg her for warmth and instead of the heat of her flat her mind travel to the warmth of his hands, of his touch. Y/n briefly wonder how she came to be like this, how she love so fiercely like a beaten dog and dig claw marks on everything she ever love just to watch it be yank away from her as easily as her tears could fall.

[ghostofasecretary]

okay okay okay FINE

it would be great to continue burying my feelings in busywork but we *are on a time limit*

i don't. want to do this.

i don't want to apply again! i don't want to deal with rejection or bad offers again! and it'll be so exhausting!!

and. i mean. i'm so scared of things going well also. because then i have to--to take my newfound not-resilience, my lowered tolerance for personal suffering, and my desire to enjoy my life, and marry that into schoolwork. i feel like i am less curious and more content these days and i don't *like* it and most of it is due to pain making me smaller, not an ambition or desire to have day after day fade into monotony punctuated by my three hobbies and, sometimes, my friends. ...that's a little ungenerous to me, i have maybe five hobbies. and also lots of chores.

but i'm.

i'm *doing bad.*

okay, that horrible annoying prompt, you know the one. imagine a future where you are happy.

i'm married to someone i really like and i come home to them and we're easy with each other and they like my food and do the dishes for me and we have nice sex. i read a lot. i translate poetry. i have enough nice walks and museum time and music and interesting conversations that turning my stress into poetry is easy and i also figure out how to write poems when i'm happy. my friends are close by. i have delicious meals and a moderate amount of luxurious foods, things that are a Line Item on the budget and not just, y'know, beans and tomatoes and onions and [any leafy green]. i like getting dressed and i thrift/change out clothes more often than i do now. i do my [side gig] once or twice a month and the marketing is low effort and the work is fulfilling. i teach. i read. i write. i figure out what help other people can give me and i ask for it and i keep in practice so i don't pause when it's crunch time. i have enough money that i don't worry about being unemployed for two or three months and i have enough income not to worry about rent and i save for retirement. i travel to see friends an extravagant two or three times a year (but just once or twice would be okay, too). i go a few years without something deeply wounding me so i have more of a cushion when the next crisis hits. i'm not afraid of being happy or of wanting things. i present information to people semi-regularly and practice and learn to work different kinds of crowds. maybe i try music, or comedy, or gardening, or rowing. i dunno. i'm practiced at practicing my languages and i have fun with it and i *let* myself have fun with it. i don't flinch from texts and emails. i go to bed and i wake up early feeling rested and i have really satisfying breakfasts, preferably with company.

it's embarassing to want to be married. like i know it's normal, actually, but--ugh. really? me? unfortunately: yes, really me.

the thing is, if i were married and had more money and did more [side gig] and didn't flinch from emails and had fun with *the thing i deeply love actually when i'm not running from it, why do i DO THAT* this would be pretty close to my current life.

so. like. if i were happier and more stable i would be happier and more stable. cool. what was i wanting to get from this, again?

reasons to apply to grad school.

1. you'd be good at it. it's really fun and satisfying to do things you're good at.

2. there are worse ways to start a career where you write and teach and translate poetry than getting a PhD.

3. dating feels completely unmanageable right now because where is my life even GOING, where might i even LIVE, it's unbearably hard to imagine looking for someone to build a life with when i have, like, [actual career path that takes years to build and a lot of grit and LUCK] hovering over me on one end and [idk being a human somehow?????] on the other and i don't know which one i'll pick. or have put in front of me to walk down. or whatever. i'd like to be committed to trying to be an academic or committed to simply Not doing that, before...before.

4. [sunk cost factory so many hours can't stop now]

okay. and reasons not to apply?

1. it's expensive and i don't qualify for any fee waivers and i REALLY TRULY do not have money to burn right now. it's not *dire* but i am, like, next month heading towards a worse financial state than i've been in since i was 15. 18 at latest. and that's *scary.*

2. grief! fuck it! sorry i have emotions but it was kind of crushing in 21-22 to have everyone be like "oh yeah you'd be great at this you'll have your pick you have a very bright future" and then not get in, and last year to have "wow yes we love you please come to our schools" and not get enough funding to *go,* and so much of 2023 was just. waiting. screw that, so much of THIS YEAR was waiting. my whole summer job i told people i was going off to do my MA because at the time of my interview i really really really thought i would still get funding and, hahahaha, nope. and i didn't want to tell people because they'd be weird about it. so instead i was weird about it and felt bad and feel bad. someone smarter than me can probably tell me how i could've sliced that one better but i'm just crying on my housemate's downstairs couch because it feels pretty bad to have hope crushed like that.

also typing this out i DO feel like an entitled prick. sorry. i'm just privileged and lucky and beautiful and smart and ~special~ and a depressed little guy who's had PTSD on two separate occasions, minimum, and is more functional but still pretty fucked up. like all the time.

3. i burnt myself on purpose for spite and justice and no real gain whatsoever, at my first job out of college, and it was an experience and i learned things and one of the things i learned is that it SUCKS and i DON'T WANT TO DO IT AGAIN. and doing a PhD is, like. notoriously "this is a bad experience that makes you crazy." documentably a bad experience that makes people crazy. actually.

and what if i drop out?

then you drop out and find a way to move forward. both your parents did. your uncle did. plenty of people you know dropped out of college or MAs or PhDs. life doesn't end. maybe some people's hopes are disappointed but that's a them problem. your own hopes are disappointed but not trying at all because you're scared you'll fail is. Not a great look?? not something i want to do, particularly.

what if i have a psychotic break (again)?

then you drop out. or take a leave of absence. and either it'll go away or it won't and you'll deal.

yeah but i really don't want to be more disabled.

then drop out before your mental health gets that far down the drain. you were suicidally depressed and mega traumatized for *years* before those two scary weeks in high school, and after the first few hours you basically knew what was happening even if you didn't believe it, and regular degular antidepressants fixed it. you haven't *been* regularly suicidally depressed in years. a bit during The Dog Incident and a bit when you raised your med dosage too high in 2023 and a bit this summer and a bit lately, but not very much. there's a difference between "panic what feels like every day and wanting to die, like, once an hour" and "eating three meals a day, procrastinating, and going 'ugh i wish i were dead' when something especially stressful comes up." not saying it's not on the same spectrum but it is a light to dark scale and you know where the divisions are. and neither of those are "having Stress Pain and chanting "kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me i want to die i want to die i want to die" constantly and especially loudly when you have to walk up the stairs or eat food." which, again: has not really happened ever since you got on antidepressants.

4. ...it feels really bad and embarassing right now because i'm *behind* and i don't have a lot of academic curiosity right now and i haven't written in forever and i don't like putting words on a page and i have to look these people in the FACE and tell them i'm qualified when i Cold Lasagna Hate Myself 1989! i'm not! up for this! i'm gonna have to drag myself over hot coals and stay up late! and how do i expect to do grad school if this one little thing is making me throw such a giant fit!!!!

hi. oh my god.

babe.

give yourself a hug. literally visit a friend and get a hug if you must. rudely invite yourself to someone's house for emotional support. whatever. i don't care. holy shit.

it is, according to the calculus by which i have always made decisions, okay to feel like HOT GARBAGE while you do things as long as you get them done. you can yell! you can say you're awful, just the worst piece of shit, how dare you exist all you want! "feeling bad in the short term is okay if you feel good in the long term" is not a great life philosophy when applied over *months and months and years and years,* i grant you. but i do not think "twelve hours, tomorrow" is the same thing.

and you can have your friends take you out for ice cream once you get it done.

and this week you'll go teach first and second graders for the first time ever, and prepare some poetry and translations, and fuck up your homework, and probably fail to feel good about your life, but it will be YOUR LIFE. WHICH YOU'VE DECIDED TO LIVE. EVEN IN YOUR DREADFUL BACHELOR STATE OH MY GOD WHAT IS W I T H MY DREAMS

so. go text your IRL friends.

done.

congrats. you have Asked For Help. if your IRL friends cannot provide ask T and then D and then C and then G/E. or a group chat. you never know.

maybe also. call your mom and make a plan. she's probably free.

okay. cool. have Had Some Feelings. seems better. than what i have been doing. go me

go take outfit photos and make apple cider and go to bed

[redacted-s-journal]

insatiable | 29/08/2024 | 22:48

yo,

not sure what to put on here. i was never the type to journal or write diaries as a kid. never quite understood the purpose of such things. i mean, i guess i can understand the practical reasons of it - whatever it may be - but it's one thing for the brain to know and for the heart to know.

so why am i doing this? i don't know, just thought it would be fun. it was kind of an impulsive decision. i can't remember what prompted me to start this either. this blog will serve as me writing down my thoughts i guess?

i guess don't really expect people to read these either (but that won't stop me from adding tags to this post! :D). maybe i'll look back at these entries one day. maybe i'll cringe, maybe i'll laugh. who knows.

but hey, if you're here and i have zero idea who you are, hello there.

y'know, i've always liked the idea of anonymous journals, like imagine finding a stranger's journal and reading about their lives, not knowing who they are. kinda sick.

whatever, i'm rambling. i'm mainly writing this right now because i have nothing else to do. i've already finished up with what i needed to do - assessments, email lecturers. i wanted to play some video games, but it doesn't feel fulfilling anymore. maybe i'll feel good in the moment, but it's not like i'm looking forward to doing it.

i just feel like i could be doing something more productive. i get i should set some time for myself where i can take a break from work/productivity for self-care or something. but i just can't shake off the thought that i could be doing something else, something more productive.

i was thinking of finalising a programming timeline for myself - basically just trying to learning all sorts of coding languages within a year. i'm already in a programming course, but i feel like i could be doing more, y'know? currently i'm learning SQL, HTML/CSS, and XAML/C#. but i could be doing more.

it kinda sucks, thinking like this. makes me feel like i can never do enough no matter how hard i try. but it's whatever. i just gotta push through it.

maybe i'm just burnt out.

yeah, that could be it.

but burnt out from what? existing? what's there to be burnt out about? i'm not the busiest person on earth.

i feel like i'm not doing anything - anything productive, that is, and it's killing me. i could be doing something else, i could be more productive, i could be more hardworking.

but why am i not? why am i still writing this?

whatever.

i'll sleep it off, see how i feel tomorrow. i'll try to play a game to take my mind off it.

haha, think this entry's a little too serious.

time to absolutely LOCK IN and QUIT feeling bad! just gotta STAND on BUSINESS WOOOOOO (this is hilarious btw)

Yours sincerely, [redacted]

[eisforeidolon]

Question: So if you guys could go back to sitting there reading the very first script for the show we're all here for, and you were in the room with yourselves, what would you say to yourselves?

Jared: [emphatic] Don't do it! Kidding, kidding, kidding.

Jensen: W-what would, like, the me now say to the me then? Uhhh. Well, I would say, don't worry you're gonna play Dean. [Jared laughs] Because originally they were only reading for Sams. They were for auditioning for the role of Sam first.

Jared: Obviously someone was really fucking great at that and you had no chance. [laughs, slaps Jensen's arm]

Jensen: Thankfully. Yeah, so I - there's somewhere out there in the ether is my audition tape for Sam. And I never did come back and read for Dean, they just immediately brought me to the final, the final test audition. Which is where I met him and that was the first time I'd ever read Dean.

Jared: But you had been like -

Jensen: Yeah, I'd went in and when I met with Kripke and -

Jared: And that, for those who don't know? That's not uncommon for movies or tv shows and the like. Is sometimes they just make everybody audition for one character to go like, okay, this person could be a great Crowley, this person could be a great Castiel, this person could play Dean, but you all read the same thing. They want to see the way you kinda react. So it wasn't like he lost the role of Sam. That's just what they do. I think every role I've ever gotten, it was like they were auditioning - here are your audition scenes. Everyone got the same thing.

Jensen: There were a lot of roles that I never - that wasn't like, that was kind of a product of reading for something else. Like my role on another little show I did just prior to - I think Tom Welling was the lead. I was - it came down to he and I for that role, and he ended up getting it. And then a few years later they just called me up and said, hey, we've been looking for a way to bring you on, we really wanted to work with you, we really wanted you on the show. And they created that role and just had me - just gave it to me. So a lot of those, that happens, where you go and you read for something and then you end up getting another role. And that happened with Dean. So that's what I would say, I would say to my younger self reading that for the first time who was reading it thinking that Sam was the one that I would - that I would be fighting for? I'd just be like, hey, don't worry, it's gonna be Dean. [Jared laughs] Because when I did get the audition, I read for Sam and I was like, listen, can I just - when you guys read for Dean? I'd love a shot at that. And Kripke and Nutter just looked at each other like -

Jared: We already know.

Jensen: We got you. So I dunno. That's maybe one thing I'd say. What would you say?

Jared: I think - amen to that - and I think that dovetails into kinda what I would say, which is more than about the show specifically? About talking to two guys or gals or whatever in their 20s, like starting their life? I don't think there's any such thing as [finger quotes] starting your life or going like I'm gonna do this so that one day I can live this life I want. Like, life is happening now. Like, this is life, y'know, that's what I've learned through friendships and other relationships. If you just sit down and beat yourself up for years and years going once I get this, then I'll have a life. And then I'll do what I want to do. Like, life is happening now. You're living life now, so I wish I could tell - because a lot of 20 year old Jared was upset. Like [affected voice] this isn't what I thought I wanted to - I don't even know where Vancouver is, you know?

Jensen: Well, you, I think, you've even talked about this, we've had discussions about it. But he, you know, he was just coming off of Gilmore Girls, he was early 20s, and he had a really good setup going in LA. I mean, he had a solid girlfriend, he had a lot of good friends -

Jared: Dogs.

Jensen: He had dogs, he had a really good house. He was really kind of set up. And when the show started, like he said, we moved up to Vancouver.

Jared: Well - did you tell the story about shooting the pilot in the village - or in the valley rather? And then going - the show gets picked up, we go to the Upfronts in New York, we go to Nobu -

Jensen: We filmed the pilot in LA, thinking we were gonna then, when the show - if it went, we would film in LA.

Jared: Which was like 5-10 minutes from where we both lived.

Jensen: And he could just continue this great setup that he had in LA.

Jared: Months pass, so we shoot in February and March, get picked up in May, go to New York to announce the show was picked up, and then we get brought out to a dinner with all the bosses at the time. And they're like, okay, Jared, Jensen, Kripke, congratulations, have a great time in Vancouver. And we're sitting there like ... what? And we found out after the show was picked up, after we did all the interviews about doing the show, that we were filming in Canada. So that was a big, like, pull the rug out kinda thing. It ended up being amazing and, y'know, I think it was a phenomenal place, and obviously I think the show worked out? We're all here to talk about it, so things happen for a reason. But yeah, it caught me off guard. I got by with a little help from my friend [hits Jensen's shoulder]. So here we are.

[thepetiteninja]

Welcome to 2024

Hello again!

My most recent post was from 4 years ago. And so much had happened since, so I guess it's time for another update. I'm writing this for me who will be reading this entry after a few years, maybe when I remember to dig up my old tumblr account again just because I felt like reminiscing.

So anyway, I'm turning thirty this year. That hasn't sunk yet because more than anything — I'm getting married this year too. It's still to the guy I have been writing about years before. We're turning 9 years this 2024, and are tying the knot this October. He proposed to me two years ago. On top of the Singapore Flyer, 11.11.22. Damn, what a date.

But the past few years weren't all about butterflies and happiness. These past few years were actually some of the worst ones of my life so far. I'm in debt. But fortunately on a good payment plan now that I haven't missed. I risked a really good job to pursue hosting full time — that only lasted for 3 months. Then shifted industries because I wanted to still give myself a chance. And so now I'm still hosting but for e-commerce livestreams. Got promoted twice in a year. I'm now a trainer. But I still do copywriting on the side because it makes good money. At least now I've flipped it up. Doing my passions full time then writing on the side. I'm tired though, to tell you the truth.

Mind-wise, I'm confident. I know what I can bring to the table and what I'm capable of. I don't second guess myself too much now. I still work hard and multi-task. I know my worth. I know my strengths. I learned my lessons well. I've been through difficult times and now I've gained stability. I know I'm ready to fly. In a smarter, more mature way.

Life-wise could be better. Because the wedding is right around the corner, everything I'm earning is being poured to it. So you can say I'm still living paycheck to paycheck after all the great things I take pride on. I'd like to think I've planted a lot of seeds that I'm just waiting to harvest soon. Hopefully the wedding turns out great, so I could finally enjoy the fruits of my labor completely. To be honest tonight, dinner was just a pack of pancit canton and cup noodles. It's petya de peligro and I don't know where to get tomorrow's fare to work. But I'll get by. After a day, salary's gonna come. I really hope it gets so much better soon.

So these things, y'know. It's entirely great but minutely terrifying. And every single time God proves to me that there's guidance from above. You won't believe how many conveniently unexpected blessings I've gotten over the past tumultuous years. I can't even comprehend how I've weathered through all the moments I worried about. But I'm here, sitting on my couch, safe, satiated, typing whatever comes to mind. It's these reflective, peaceful pauses that makes you realize that despite the chaos, I'm actually okay. Barely breathing but pushing on.

I'd like to think future me who would be reading this somehow, someday, would look at me and say: "just wait, it's going to be better". Because I would be saying the same thing to myself who started this blog 10+ years ago. It had gotten so much better. Crazier, but better. I wish future me would say, "babe, we're a millionaire". But more importantly would love her to say, "we still love what we do". No matter what that looks like.

So there. I think that's an ample update about how I am now. And hopefully in a few years tumblr would still be here so I'd be able to read all this again. It's a good self-therapy shit. And also I just missed writing my thoughts like this.

Ok, I'm just rambling now. Until the next update!

[hopefromadoomedtimeline]

"Ah, well- I've had some pretty bad hair days myself y'know-" He stops himself there, she had a point in that her hair was, for lack of a better word, a bit of a mess currently. Though he was still raised to keep those sort of comments to himself, and so he would continue to do so even if he was aware she wouldn't mind the honesty. Instead, he'd shyly look away when his own skills are complimented, still unused to dealing with an accepting praise without pushing back.

There's an honest laugh that emerges from Trunks as Puck makes her joke and compliments, giving her a quick yet knowing nod as he trusted that there'd still be a kitchen to return to after the woman was granted free reign of the cooking area. "You know you don't have to do anything... But I know that you'll still want to do it regardless of what I say. Just promise me that there won't be any fires to put out and I'll be happy. And I'm sure both of us will love to eat whatever you make." He briefly recalls a time where Bulma had once claimed to be a very peculiar eater in her younger days, but living in an apocalypse while attempting to raise a child most certainly lowered her standards as to what she would willingly gobble down. In any case, her doing such a thing would more than likely result in the Brief mother/son duo to make her a meal in return. Or a favor of some sort... Perhaps...

"...Maybe you should let me teach you how to fly one of these days, I think it'd really help keep your bike in one piece when you don't have to use it all the time." Granted, Trunks was never one to think of himself as a teacher. But Puck was strong, and she had potential. Flying had a low skill ceiling and put little strain on inexperienced users, and it helped with many mundane tasks in the world, if there was any skill he could see someone learning easily, that'd be his choice.

Grabbing a nearby tool box, he'd gesture for Puck to make herself comfortable as he prepared to get to work on a bike that had already been pushed past its limit. Without even looking at it, he'd assume he'd have to fly out to find some machines that could have compatible parts to salvage, though it was more seen as a nice trip rather than a laborious errand as he enjoyed opportunities to work on his engineering skills.

"Enjoy the kitchen as much as you want, you have my full permission to make whatever you can. If you need me, I'll be sure not to be too far away, so just call out."

Continued from here.

"It looks great!" She brightly smiled, giving him a thumbs up. When he complimented her hair, she couldn't help but snort, "You know, you don't need to return the favour, Lilac Boy. My hair is a hot mess."

Puck would be lying if she wasn't relieved to hear his mother took a day off. When was the last time she actually spent a day by herself? No idea. Probably never. Bulma was always tinkering away from what Puck could remember. Scolding her before she'd open her mouth to get something repaired. How the two were still able to repair her junk was beyond her. Oh well. 

"So, she really took a day off, huh? Good for her! And you don't hear me complaining; you're just as good as your mum, you know. Working your magic and all," she laughed.

"Alrighty, I'll bring her in! But I'm not one to sit back and let you do all the work! The least I can do is prepare a hearty meal for you and your mum. I'm a pretty good cook, you know. I didn't burn my potatoes last night; that's a big improvement!" In her last sentence, she joked to downplay her actual skill. Unexpectedly, as it might be, the redhead was good at cooking.

She brought her hand to her chin and said, "But I need a kitchen of sorts to cook, you know." Sneakingly, she eyed her friend, "I promise I won't make a mess, or try to at least.~ Sooo, mhmm, yes or no?"

@hopefromadoomedtimeline

[helloalycia]

body swap [two] // wanda maximoff

summary: now that you and Kate have swapped bodies, you have to learn to be one another, but that's hard when you find yourself missing your ex-girlfriend.

warning/s: mentions of guns, shooting, minor violence and injury.

author's note: here’s part two! i hope you guys like it :)

one / three / four / masterlist / wattpad

Switching bodies with Kate wasn't supposed to be such a difficult thing, despite how complex it sounded. We tried to make it go as smoothly as possible by giving each other a rundown on any appointments, commitments, training sessions or plans we both had planned for the month, to ensure we knew what to expect as each other, and it worked to an extent.

We sat down and had a quick practice of how to act like one another so nobody would suspect us, and it went surprisingly well. I had known Kate long enough to mimic her, and her I, but the fear of us still messing it up was there. Especially because we had different relationships with the others, so it was harder to pinpoint. For example, Kate wasn't as good friends with Natasha as I was, and I didn't have a bond with Clint like she did, but that would have to change.

"Wanda doesn't talk to me, so don't forget that," I told Kate as we went through each Avenger and their relationship with us.

"Aw, but I like Wanda though," Kate said with a pout. "We've finally been starting to talk to each other more."

I gave her a look, expecting her to be on my side, but she raised her hands defensively.

"What? I never thought Wanda liked me because I was always hanging out with you, but since you guys... y'know, she's been warming up to me."

My expression didn't change, and she gave in with a reluctant sigh.

"Fine, I'll avoid her. But you can't," she reminded me. "You're going to be Kate, and Kate Bishop is not losing out on befriending one of the most powerful Avengers because you're too stubborn to talk to your ex."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

She pointed a finger at me with warning. "Hey, promise me."

The last thing I wanted to do was make friendly conversation with my ex when I knew she hated the real me, but it was the least I could do when Kate was doing this for me.

"Fine, I promise."

Kate grinned. "Awesome."

After we were certain we covered anything and everything that could give away the truth about us, we made a start to our temporary new lives the next morning.

And that's when we realised how stupid we were because we missed one obvious fact. I didn't know how to shoot a bow and arrow as skilfully as Kate.

The following day, Clint and I were training together outside and he claimed he had a surprise for me despite my tardiness yesterday morning. He led me outside to the archery range before presenting me with a range of strange looking arrows. An expectant expression was on his face as he waited for a reaction, and I smiled awkwardly, unsure what to do.

"C'mon, you've been dying to test out the new trick arrows," he said, and it was the most excited I'd ever seen Clint. "Have a go!"

Trick arrows. Those were the weird ones that did stuff, right?

"Yeah, duh!" I played along, smiling widely but questioning everything at this moment.

Carefully picking up an arrow, I studied it, having absolutely no idea what it was or what it did.

"Good choice, come on," he said, before ushering me to a mannequin lined up in the distance. "Give her a go. You know which this is, right?"

"Uh-huh."

I lined up the arrow in my bow and aimed it steadily ahead at the centre mannequin, stood between several more. Using a bow and arrow wasn't new to me since I'd worked with many different kinds of weapons as a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, but I was nowhere as near as good as Kate or Clint, and I hadn't used a bow and arrow in quite a while.

Holding my breath, I let the arrow fly from my fingers and watched it hit the mannequin in the chest. An electric current began to electrocute the mannequin and I sighed with relief, lowering my bow. It was just the taser arrow.

"Wait for it...," Clint said, raising his hand patiently.

Suddenly, the electrical current jumped from the mannequin  I shot to all the surrounding ones in an instant, making me jump out of my skin at how quickly it happened.

"Fuck," I let out accidentally, before straightening up when I realised Clint was looking right at me. "I mean, that is amazing. Sick!"

That's something lame Kate would say, right?

"Go on, try some of the others out," he encouraged, motioning to the other arrows. "I threw some cool ones in there. Like the acid arrows."

Acid arrows?! Okay, I was kind of seeing why Kate fangirled so hard about Clint.

Unfortunately for me, shortly after testing out some cool trick arrows, the actual archery practice began and I definitely couldn't keep up with the moving targets and swanky moves Clint assumed I could replicate. I fell over several times and missed several targets, and it eventually got to a point where he figured I was having a bad day and ended training early.

I didn't bother arguing otherwise and accepted the early finish, immediately making a beeline to go and find Kate so we could talk about how I would get out of archery training for the month. She was sparring in the gym with Sam when I found her, and doing a damn good job at pretending to be me.

Deciding I'd leave her to it and talk to her later, I let my eyes roam the gym and saw some S.H.I.E.L.D. recruits working out, a few others like Bucky, Nat and Steve training, and then Wanda who was making every effort to stay on the opposite side of the room from me. I rolled my eyes at the childishness. And she said I was the immature one...

————————

A few nights later, I was watching TV in the communal area by myself and enjoying some leisure time. So far, being Kate hadn't caused me any problems and Kate told me it was the same on her end, so I was starting to believe that we could hold out until Doctor Strange returned from his mission. I should've known that wouldn't last long.

Whilst watching TV, the door opened and I realised it was Wanda walking in, eyes looking around until they settled on me.

"Oh, good, someone's here," she said casually, and I straightened up when I realised she was approaching me. "I need your opinion. How do I look?"

Trying to remain calm, I took in her appearance quickly. "Erm, what's it for?"

She hesitated, hands pressing down her dress. "I have a date." I raised my eyebrows with surprise, trying to dial down my shock, but she noticed and smiled nervously. "I know." When my expression didn't change, she frowned. "This is strange, isn't it?"

So many things about this were strange. First and foremost, my ex-girlfriend was going on a date and I had never hated someone I didn't know more in my life.

"I– no...?"

She sighed, shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I know you're good friends with Y/N. I should've asked Nat for her opinion instead."

Turning around, she was about to leave, but I quickly stood up and said, "No!" She stopped, glancing over at me, and I cleared my throat before adding, "I mean, no, it's okay. I'm in, er, neutral territory with the breakup. Not on yours or Y/N's side, so I can help."

She smiled a little, grateful, and I wanted to kick myself for landing myself in this position, but I promised Kate I'd be normal with Wanda, and this is something Kate would do.

"You look great," I assured her. "Is it a dinner date?" She nodded, so I said, "Yeah, the dress is perfect."

She looked beautiful. She always did, but she was exceptional tonight, and I couldn't help but admire her long, pin-straight red hair, dark eye makeup, bright green eyes, red lips... God, I was an idiot for not trying to make things work with her again.

"Thanks," she said, relieved, looking over her outfit once more.

"So, who's the date?" I asked nonchalantly, putting my hands in my pockets.

She ran a hand through her hair as she answered, "Just someone I met at the grocery store, funnily enough. The girl seemed nice and we talked for a bit and then she asked me out, so I just said yes."

I hummed, nodding in response. "Cool... so, is it not too soon?”

It was cheeky of me to ask, especially given my current predicament in Kate's body, but I couldn't help it. My ex-girlfriend was about to go on a date with somebody else, what was I supposed to do?

"I don't know," she admitted with a sigh. "It's been a month since Y/N and I broke up. Shouldn't I try to move on?"

I tried to stop myself from frowning as I nodded. "Right, yeah. Makes sense."

She checked her watch before looking to me. "I should get going or I'll be late."

"Good luck on your date," I forced out with a fake smile.

Her expression softened as she smiled appreciatively, and it hurt my chest. "Thanks, Kate. And thanks for helping me out. Even if you were just listening."

"Anytime."

"Can this please stay between us only?" she asked. "The last thing I want is everyone finding out and it somehow getting back to Y/N. I don't want–" She closed her eyes, sighing, before saying, "I don't want her to know just yet. It might not go anywhere and I don't want to upset her."

How thoughtful... I think.

"Of course," I said with a nod. "Just between us."

She smiled. "Thanks. Have a good night, Kate."

I waved unenthusiastically as she left the room, ready to go on her stupid date. I knew she'd move on eventually, but I wasn't prepared for it to be so soon, and I definitely wasn't prepared to witness it firsthand.

With that lovely thought on my mind, I returned to watching TV by myself, sulking and continuing to feel as shitty as I'd been feeling all month. Kate joined me shortly afterwards, finding me sat alone and jumping on the couch beside me. Admittedly, it was still strange to see and talk to myself because I almost forgot I wasn't in my own body when I wasn't paying attention. But I knew it was Kate, especially because she was still her annoying self.

"What's up?" she asked me when she noticed me hugging a cushion.

I wasn't in the mood to talk about it, but if I didn't, I'd only be more miserable, plus she kind of needed to know since it was her who'd had the interaction with Wanda and not me. So, I explained to her about Wanda's date and how she was going out into the dating world once more, and how utterly crap it made me feel.

"Damn, Y/N...," Kate said with an apologetic frown. "I'm sorry. That can't be easy."

"Yeah, well, I'm a big girl," I said stubbornly. "It's not a big deal."

She raised an eyebrow. "What if it is?"

"What?"

She tilted her head towards me knowingly. "You're obviously upset by this."

I rolled my eyes. "She's my ex-girlfriend. Of course I'm upset."

Sensitively, she asked, "Y/N, do you still love her?"

I squeezed the cushion tighter. "It doesn't matter."

Kate nudged me in the side gently. "Answer the question."

I swallowed hard. "Obviously I do."

Kate was watching me closely, quiet and observant, and I began to frown because I didn't want Wanda to move on.

"We both broke up because it got to a boiling point where we both exploded," I said quietly, feeling icky at the thought of our argument once more. "We weren't fair to one another. And that's... that's why she hates me now. And I can't change that."

"But you want to?"

I closed my eyes. "Of course I want to."

Wanda Maximoff could make me the angriest person in the world, but I regretted not trying to make things work between us. I never stopped loving her and that's what was making this whole breakup so hard.

Kate squeezed my leg supportively. "Maybe she'll realise the same thing as you and want to fix things."

"I don't think so, Kate."

She sighed quietly, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me close. She kissed the top of my head gently and held me in a hug, making me feel a little better, but never better enough.

"It'll get easier," she whispered against my head, and didn't answer because I wasn't so sure she was right.

She kept me company for another hour or so before calling it a night and heading to bed. I stayed up, accepting the distraction of the TV and not in the mood to go to sleep. I wasn't sure if I was even paying attention to what I was watching because all I could think about was Wanda on her date.

Was she laughing at all the jokes her date was telling? Was she telling her date about the day she'd had? Was she catching everyone's eyes with her beauty in the restaurant like she did with me all the time?

I never expected her to return so soon, so when she came back into the communal area and saw me in the same place she left me, I tried to look less miserable.

"I didn't think anybody was still up," she said apologetically, as if she'd interrupted.

"Sorry, I was just, er, watching a film," I said slowly, sitting upright.

She nodded before sighing deeply, closing the door behind her.

"How was the date?" I asked, figuring she was going to stay for a moment.

She chuckled, to my confusion, and took a seat on the couch beside me. I pressed my lips together as I looked over at her, trying not to get distracted by her side profile.

"Maybe I wasn't ready to go on a date after all," she said with a bittersweet smile, eyes closed and head leaning back on the couch.

"Why? What happened?"

She massaged her head, pausing, before sitting up straight and facing me. "We got to the restaurant," she explained, "the girl was sweet, but the small talk, God, it was painful. I forgot how hard it can be to do all over again, you know? Dating."

I nodded along awkwardly. "Sure..."

"Y/N was a pain in my arse, but at least it was easy with her," she said with a sigh, pushing her hair back with both hands before pulling her legs up and leaning on them. She seemed deep in thought, chewing on her bottom lip, and I tried to bite my tongue, but I couldn't help it.

"Well, Y/N said you were friends long before you were together," I said casually. "So, that certainly helps."

She frowned, dark eyes trained on the ground, and I wondered if she was thinking about when we first met like I was, back when she joined the team after the fight against Ultron.

"There won't be a date number two," she said quietly, shaking her head, before snapping out of her thoughts and looking to me. "And definitely not another date for a while."

It was wrong of me to feel relieved at that fact, but I did, and I tried not to look so glad.

"Sorry to hear," I settled, clenching my teeth to avoid smiling.

"At least I tried," she said with a tired smile, before leaning her head against the couch. "So. What film are you watching?"

I looked to the TV, confused, before finding my words and looking back to her. "Shrek 2... but if you want to change it, I can."

She began to laugh quietly, and it warmed my insides because I hadn't heard it in so long. "You've been hanging around with Y/N too much. She loves the Shrek films. She's actually the reason why I've seen them."

Oops. I probably should have thought more about that one.

"I'm gonna get ready, then I'll join you if that's okay," she said with a kind smile, and I nodded, unsure what to say.

She got up and left, and I wondered if what I was doing was wrong. This was manipulative, but was I really doing anything wrong? It was just hanging out. And she basically invited herself to watch a film with me. It was mainly her fault, not mine.

I just missed her so much, and this was better than not having her at all since she wanted nothing to do with me. It wasn't a big deal.

Or at least that's what I tried to tell myself when she took a seat next to me to watch the film and I tried very hard not to hold her hand like I so badly wanted to.

————————

Now that I knew Wanda was already starting to move on from our relationship, I didn't feel too good. It was hard to focus because I still loved her and she wanted nothing to do with me, but she didn't mind talking to Kate and I hated that I had to be someone else for her to give me the time of day.

We were in a mission briefing – her, Kate, Clint, Nat and with Steve leading – but I wasn't sure what they were talking about because all I could do was stare at Wanda across the room. She was enchanting and I found it difficult to listen or focus on anything else.

"...so Kate will be going with Wanda and Y/N," Steve was saying, and only when mine and Kate's names were mentioned did I tune back into the conversation, looking up to the blonde speaking.

"Steve," Wanda said with a warning tone, also looking up at Steve like Kate and I were. "With all due respect–"

"I am aware of the... situation with you and Y/N, Wanda," Steve cut her off gently, "but this is work and I'm hoping you can both put your differences aside and set a good example for Kate."

At this, Wanda gave Kate a side-eyed stare, and I nudged the archer under the table who perked up and looked to Steve sympathetically.

"Are you sure this is the best option?" she asked, and Steve gave her one look that made her lose all resolve and give in with a nod. "Right, okay."

I rolled my eyes inconspicuously at how easily she listened to him. It was easy to forget that Kate was still a newbie who respected authority, so wouldn't put up a fight like I would.

Steve began to explain the ins and outs of the mission to us all and I listened intently, hoping there was no way Kate and I could screw anything up because of our situation. When he finished, all eyes fell to me and I was confused.

"What?" I asked, looking between everyone.

Clint nodded like it was obvious. "Well, this is usually the part where you break everyone's eardrums because you're going on a mission with the Avengers."

"I do not do that–!" Kate exclaimed with offence, but I cut her off with a glare. She realised what she was doing and immediately cleared her throat, correcting herself. "Kate doesn't do that!"

For God's sake, Kate.

"I would, but I'm trying this thing where I act more mature," I said, earning everyone's attention and hoping they wouldn't question why Kate (AKA me) was acting so strangely.

Clint snorted with amusement, earning a slap on the arm from Nat. "Let's see how long that lasts."

I smiled sheepishly, exchanging glances with Kate who was smiling apologetically to me. A mission with my ex-girlfriend whilst in the body of my best friend – talk about a recipe for disaster.

————————

Barely a few days later, I found myself sat in a van with Wanda, watching Kate on CCTV pretending to be me who was pretending to be a random girl in a nightclub so she could track down our target.

It was awkward to say the least, since Wanda was still clearly pissed at me, and Kate was too, well, Kate to return the hostility, so she just said nothing. And I had to watch it all unfold as we prepared her for the club before sending her in. Wanda and I were left in the van to watch her on the cameras and listen in to her mic, acting as backup in case anything went wrong until it was out turn to join her in collecting some evidence from our target's office.

The quiet in the van was deafening as Wanda and I sat there, eyes glued to the screens. Kate was doing an excellent job at blending in and keeping her distance from the target, and I would have applauded her at any other instance, but she was supposed to be me so it was expected.

"He's coming from his office now so be aware," Wanda warned Kate through her mic.

"I'm always aware," Kate said cockily, and it was her usual personality which I knew, but because it came from my lips, Wanda rolled her eyes and leaned back in her seat.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I watched the cameras, seeing Kate having a drink at the bar and keeping an eye on our target. He eventually approached the bar himself, ordering a drink, before Kate began to speak to him. It was simple with targets like this – inflate their ego even more, flirt a little, lead them back to their room or office or wherever we needed to be, and get what we came for.

So, that's what Kate did. She threw a few flirty compliments our target's way, fluttered her eyelashes and gave him something to stare at. It was so weird watching it from an outsider's perspective because I'd done this many times before on missions, but it was weird watching me actually do it. Is that seriously what I looked like?

Kate stayed with him for about an hour, giggling like a schoolgirl in a private booth of the club and playing the part perfectly, but we still hadn't got access to his office, so Wanda and I had no choice but to sit still for now.

"Are you actually gonna do what you came here to do or keep massaging this arsehole's ego?" Wanda muttered harshly into the mic, and I glanced at her to see her clenching her jaw frustratedly.

Kate showed no sign of hearing Wanda's words, but she changed the subject onto the topic of taking this chat somewhere quieter, following Wanda's hint.

"I think I know a place," the target said with a drunk grin, letting his eyes roam her, and I almost threw up at the sight of someone checking my body out like a piece of meat.

Of course, I couldn't do anything about it, so I sat back and waited. Wanda, meanwhile, was glaring daggers into the screen, and I was certain her eyes began to glow red at one point.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked her with slight concern.

Her eyes didn't leave the screens as she mumbled, "Perfect."

I swallowed awkwardly, looking at the screen and seeing Kate holding hands with the guy as he led her to his office.

"It's not real, you know," I reminded Wanda, realising she was worried about, well, me.

"I'm not an idiot, I know that," she said, probably not meaning to sound so bothered, but her eyes were still watching the screens and the last person she was going to listen to was Kate, so I shut up.

Opting to stay quiet indefinitely, I focused on doing my job and watching the screens. Once Kate had the target right where she wanted him, she managed to knock him unconscious before he could make any moves and gave us the signal to head inside.

It was a simple mission which involved us collecting some items of interest from his office and basement, so Wanda and I went inside to do just that. Kate let us in and gave us the keys to the basement as she went to search the office.

"I did good, right?" Kate asked with a proud smile, looking to Wanda and I.

Before I could reply, Wanda said, "Oh, yeah, he was one second away from sleeping with you, so well done."

Kate began to frown. "Well, that was kind of the point–"

"Come on, Kate," Wanda snapped, grabbing my wrist and tugging me away before anyone could say anything else.

Damn, she was seriously annoyed by this.

"Remember to keep in touch and meet back at the van," Kate called to us, and I gave her a thumbs up as Wanda pulled me out of there.

Silence was the best option as Wanda and I worked towards our goal of retrieving the items of interest from the basement. Unfortunately for us, as easy as it was to get in, it wasn't so easy to get out, and we got caught pretty quickly.

"Run across when I distract them!" Wanda shouted across the room as we both took cover from the gunfire that was now directed our way.

I nodded and waited for her to do something – she used her powers to catch all the bullets and throw them back their way – before running across the room and disarming the remaining two men. Just when I thought we were in the clear, some more men came running down the steps, so I grabbed a gun and took cover with Wanda.

"Y/N, we've been compromised," Wanda said into her earpiece, waiting for the right moment to leave cover. "You've got to get out of there."

"Yeah, I'm starting to see that," Kate said over our comms, and I hoped she could handle it because she had a tougher situation than Wanda and I, and she was still relatively new to fieldwork.

"She'll be okay," Wanda reassured me, probably seeing my concerned expression. "She's had enough experience in situations like these."

Oh, if only that were true.

Wanda and I fought our way out of the basement in no time, the retrieved items still on our person as we made it back to our van. On the cameras, we could see Kate doing the same, making her way out of the club quickly. Soon enough, we heard a bang on the van doors and immediately scrambled to open them up, knowing it was her.

"D'you get the stuff?" Wanda asked when she pulled her in, pulling the doors closed behind her.

Kate nodded frantically, catching her breath, but she was looking paler than usual. Throwing a memory stick onto the table, she said, "I did, but I don't think I'm feeling too good."

"Shit," I cursed when I realised there was blood seeping from her shoulder, and I caught her before she could collapse onto the floor. "Wanda!"

Wanda looked back with wide eyes and helped me lay Kate down onto the bench behind us. It looked like a clean bullet wound that went through and through, but Kate wasn't taking to it so well and her eyes were losing their focus.

"Get the first aid kit!" Wanda ordered me, and I immediately went to grab it and hand her some bandages.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Wanda shouted with frustration, looking down to Kate. "You're supposed to be better than this, Y/N!"

Kate smiled tiredly. "My bad."

I frowned, eyes looking over her with concern, before glancing at Wanda. "Maybe you should take it easy on her–"

"No," Wanda cut me off, pressing gauze to Kate's wound with annoyance, but the worry was present in her eyes. "Y/N's just an idiot. Maybe if she spent more time being careful, this wouldn't have happened."

"Probably," Kate agreed in a low voice, barely audible as she let Wanda help her.

"She didn't mean it," I assured Kate, meeting her eyes and looking back at my own. "You did great. Really great. Just like an Avenger."

I hoped Kate knew I was talking directly to her. She had to know I was proud of her because for one of her earlier missions, she'd done amazing.

"Kate, can you please start driving us back?" Wanda asked, glancing at me with glassy eyes. "I'll make sure Y/N is okay until we get there."

"I think I'm bleeding on your hand," Kate mumbled apologetically.

Wanda clenched her jaw. "Idiot."

I nodded and went to the van to start driving us back, but not without sparing Kate a look every chance I could get. She'd been on many missions before this but had never been shot before, and though this wasn't a huge deal, it would still be scary for her. She was only a kid, and that's when I knew that keeping this body switch a secret was a mistake.

Once we were in the clear, Kate was immediately wheeled off to the infirmary in the compound to get the help she needed, and Wanda and I were left to deal with the aftermath.

"She's gonna be okay," Wanda said when she saw me staring after Kate with worry, but she looked as worried as I felt.

"Right," I agreed unconvincingly. "Y/N is good at getting better quick. Can't keep her down long."

Wanda hummed in agreement, but when I glanced over at her, I saw she was looking in the same direction Kate had been wheeled into. Her arms were crossed, fingers playing with her bottom lip, trembling slightly. I realised she was way more concerned than she'd let on, despite the anger she'd shown back in the van. Maybe she didn't hate me as much as I thought she did.

"They'll fix her in no time," I added, squeezing Wanda's shoulder comfortingly.

"Sorry," she said with a sigh, lowering her hands. "I shouldn't be acting like this. I'm supposed to be teaching you how to be an Avenger."

"It's okay," I said with a small smile. "People get hurt and it's okay to worry, Wanda."

She didn't reply, but she sucked up a breath and looked to me with a forced smile. "You did good today, Kate. You handled the mission like a pro, even with the complications. You're shaping up to be quite the Avenger."

Well, if I didn't feel guilty before...

"Thanks, that means a lot coming from you," I said, trying to think how Kate would react in this situation.

"Don't worry about the post-mission report," she said with a nod. "I'll get it sorted. You go get yourself cleaned up."

I nodded and hesitated, feeling bad leaving her by herself, but decided against doing anything and left. Kate wouldn't be out of surgery for a while, so I could get cleaned up and visit her afterwards. I knew she'd be fine, but I still felt extremely guilty for putting her in danger like that.

————————

"Knock, knock...?"

Kate flashed me a bright smile when I walked into her room in the infirmary. She was sat up in bed wearing a hospital gown with a bandage covering her shoulder, but otherwise looked as perky as she usually did when in my body.

"Took you long enough to visit me," she said jokingly when I closed the door behind me and approached her bedside. "I was wondering why you weren't so annoyed about me damaging your poor body."

I offered her a small, guilty smile. "Sorry. I was showering–"

"Remind me to never put you down as my emergency contact."

I rolled my eyes at her joke. "Anyway. How are you feeling?"

She sighed dramatically. "A bit bummed." I raised an eyebrow questioningly, and she continued, "It's the first time I've ever gotten shot and I can't even brag about it because it technically happened to you."

"Kate!"

She laughed. "What? It's true!"

I exhaled deeply, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "I'm so sorry this happened, Kate... it was really dangerous. You shouldn't have been by yourself, but you were because everybody thinks you're me."

"It's all good," Kate said with a shrug, but I shook my head.

"It's not. And now you can't do anything for the next few weeks because you're injured and it's my fault." I frowned apologetically. "It was a big deal. And it could have ended worse than a simple wound to the shoulder. So, I think we should tell Steve about our bodies."

She looked at me like I was being stupid. "Y/N."

I returned her look. "Kate."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "I'm honestly fine and you're definitely overreacting. This was literally awesome and I'm okay, seriously. I'm learning, and it's not like I was alone, is it? I had you and Wanda by my side."

"But Kate–"

"I'm gonna be down for the count for the next few weeks like you said," she interrupted me with a stifled smile. "Meaning I'll be out of trouble and out of your worries until Strange is back. There's no need to tell anyone."

I raised my brows worriedly. "Kate, it's okay to tell them. I feel so bad about all of this."

"You don't need to," she assured me with a smile. "I'm fine. And so are you."

I considered her words. She looked fine and she sounded fine, and that was all that mattered. Plus, despite how worried her injury had made me, it meant that she could stay out of any more danger until Strange returned which would definitely put me at ease.

With reluctance, I nodded in agreement. "Okay, fine. I guess we'll continue as normal."

Kate grinned. "Great! Now I have to spill the tea about Wanda."

I furrowed my brows. "What about her?"

She glanced behind me before lowering her voice. "She visited me earlier. Well, you, but same thing."

I tried not to look so interested. "She did? What did she– what'd she say?"

"Well, she had a go at me for being careless."

"No surprise there..."

"But then she said how she was really worried about me for a moment and hopes I get better," Kate continued. "And in my unbiased opinion, she clearly still cares about you."

My shoulders relaxed at this information. "Huh."

So, she didn't hate me after all. That was something. Everything.

"Just thought you should know," Kate said, before yawning. "That's it from me."

I nodded, standing up, ready to give her some alone time. "Thanks, Kate. I'll visit you in the morning. Take care of yourself, okay? And not just because it's my body you're in."

She chuckled. "I promise. See you tomorrow, Y/N."

"Oh, and Kate? You did great today. Better than great. And you should be so damn proud of yourself."

She grinned. "Thank you, Y/N."

I returned her smile before squeezing her leg and leaving her be. We'd be okay, surely.

[penofpenguin]

Hellooo!!! ❤️❤️❤️

This is my first time requesting hehe

Can you do a one shot of Ruggie x fem!reader (non-mc)? The reader is 2nd year, and can be in whatever dorm you want :DD

Reader (Ruggie's lover) is a very rich spoiled brat. She's all about being a fashionista, and living the fancy life. She boasts and gloats about her being rich to everyone. But never to Ruggie. He is an exception. She loves him dearly and would never dare to judge him. She also has a high ego.

So here's the scenario: Everyone in NRC was getting tired of reader's snarky attitude. And they all complain to Ruggie how reader is being a brat to them and begs him to talk her into being nicer. He understands and tries to talk to her later on. But, due to reader's very high ego— she doesn't listen to him and they begin arguing. With Ruggie having enough with her attitude, he snaps at her and ignores her for a few days. Until reader has finally learned her mistake, she tries to apologise to Ruggie (You can write how they make up in this scene :D) And can you add in the ending— a short scene of where Ruggie tries to teach the reader to be nice :>

So sorry if this is long. I hope you get it, this idea has been in my head for so long now😭

Welcome to Tumblr requesting anon :DD

I am more than delighted to do this request it is absolutely wholesome sjjsjs. Hope you like this one! I didn't mention any dorm so you can get creative.

Content Warnings: You're mean, Homeless child mentioned, Violence mentioned but not taken in action, Angry Riddle

Ruggie tries telling his spoilt!s/o to tone down on the entitlement.

Ruggie x spoilt!F!reader

Enjoy!!

You had it all.

Money, money and money. You were really rich and got everything that you wanted. A pony? yours. A castle? yours. You got what you wanted every single time that you descended into entitlement.

You probably got into Night Raven College because of the money and bribes Crowley accepts.

Even if you thought you were the popular girl, everyone hated you...but one.

Ruggie Bucchi. Ironic isn't it?

A spoilt rich girl like you who gets what she wants on her fingertips and a poor guy from the slums like him who works multiple jobs a day.

What attracted him to you was the way you treated him. You had a soft spot for Ruggie and you treated him like he was in the same financial level as you.

Many people were truly surprised how someone like you and someone like him were even possible, but they carried on with it.

Everything was going fine...until Ruggie heard a knock on his door.

"Yess I'm cominggg"

He opens the door only to find a raging red Riddle Rosehearts, visibly breathing heavily, next to his dearest girlfriend, who had a collar on, huffing in annoyance.

"Yes? Y/n what did you do?" Ruggie asks with a sigh.

"OH I'LL TELL YOU WHAT SHE DID! SHE-"

"It isn't a big deal. He bumped into me on purpose! So I shoved his books to the floor and told him to pick it up." You said, rolling your eyes as Riddle visibly grew redder.

"DON'T YOU DARE INTERRUPT ME!"

Riddle turns to Ruggie.

"Control...your girlfriend here please!!"

"I'll see what I can do. Could you just please remove the collar? I promise she'll learn something." Ruggie asked.

Riddle hesitantly removed the collar, glared at you and took off. Ruggie invited you to his room.

"Now...Y/n...don't we wanna...y'know...tone down on the-"

You threw yourself onto him.

"Wuggieee. Thank you for saving my from the small angry troll my knight in shining armor I love you so much here I got you a donut on my way~" You said giving kisses to his cheeks, which were now red.

"A donut!!!?? Thanks!!" He completely forgot what he was gonna say, but he remembered afterwards.

"Y/n...uh...can we talk?"

"Sure what's up?"

"So...Riddle complaining was actually the 4th complaint I got from you today. You know I can't keep backing you up." He slowly put his arms around you and pulled you into a nice snuggle session.

"I don't get why they're all reacting so much!! It's not my fault! They're the ones causing problems,"

"No...uh...even I think you've been acting a bit too much lately."

"Oh you make me laugh my dearest!"

Ruggie placed his finger on your chin and turned your face towards him.

"Y/n, I'm not kidding."

A moment of silence passed. He just stared into your eyes. You slowly tried pushing him off but his grip was pretty strong on you.

"Why're you letting these people get to you! You know I'm not thaaaat bad." You said giggling.

"I mean...people will get sick of i-"

"No Ruggie! I'm not listening!!!" You shouted, pushing his arm off of you. You hated it when people told you what to do.

"Y/n, please listen-"

"NO!" You pushed him off his own bed. He eventually had enough.

"Fine!! Get lost for all I care!! Im done sticking up for your spoilt behaviour!!" He yelled. You were shocked, but you just rolled your eyes, opened the door and slammed it shut.

The next day you were slowly starting to miss him. You go to your class corridors and see Ruggie there, looking sort of frustrated.

"HI wuggiee!"

No response.

"Wuggie?"

He didn't even look at you. He was on his flip phone, possibly ignoring you. He walked away to his magic history class, without saying a word.

'Is he giving me attitude?? Fine then!!' You thought. You grumpily walked away to your own class.

2 days passed since your fight and you didn't get any text messages from him either. Not any "I love yous". No "Good morning/Good night". The only response you got was 'seen' to your recent messages.

You wanted to talk to someone. You tried approaching Yuu to talk about this but they just ignored you(plus grim stuck his tongue out to you). You were finally understanding your mistake.

"Im sorry Ruggie" You messaged him. Once again, 'seen'. That was when an idea came to your head to apologize for him.

The next day, Ruggie went to class to find an envelope on his desk. He opened it to find some money and a letter.

"Meet me on the Courtyard at lunch. I need to talk to you about something. It's important so please be there."

Ruggie's first thought was that it wasn't you. Was someone was trying to confess to him now that he hasn't been talking to you? Did they also think money would help (it would lmao). But he decided to go anyways.

He went to the courtyard only to find you, sitting there. He was about to go back but you grabbed his sleeve.

"Im actually sorry!"

He didn't face you, but he stopped trying to walk away. You continued.

"I realized what I did wrong. I let my ego get the best me. I treated you like you weren't special. I know you didn't like that. Over these three days, I was so heartbroken and...and I felt so lonely. I fixed things up with many people by getting them something from the cafeteria...and I made something specially for you. Just follow me please?"

Ruggie turned to face you with a stoic face.

"Go ahead."

You took him to the woods and showed him a perfectly layed out picnic, with all of his favourites(which is everything that isn't rotten). Your man was drooling.

"I hope you like it." You said. The next thing you know you were being hugged and lifted off the ground.

"This- This is a week's worth of food!!"

"Really? For me this is only lunch."

Ruggie ignored your comment and snuggled onto your neck, giving slight kisses here and there.

"Your apology is accepted! But...please be a bit nicer. I'd really appreciate it."

"Alrightt! Anything for my Wuggie!!"

Ruggie just cringed.

"Look I missed you alot...but I really did not miss that nickname."

You laughed.

"Ok Ruggie."

"Much better,"

You two enjoyed your lunch together, with him being done with most of the food in around 5 minutes.

Bonus:

"Ok...y/n...you bump into a homeless child and it starts crying. What do you do?" Ruggie was giving you a small lesson on being nice during a walk around the school.

"Tell it to scram?"

"No!"

"Step on its foot?"

"Great Seven you're hopeless-"

I hope you enjoyed this one anon and everyone else!! I wasn't expecting so many engagement activity in these days so thank you everyone 😭😭😭

I've also been sick (dehydration ugh) for a few days which is why I didn't post much. But if you requested, it will be done soon. Take care and have a nice day 💖💖💖

-Madeline 🐧

[miniimapp]

ASSASSIN*TOWN AU - Character Deep Dive

Gen ;; Teens and up - Headcanons

Warnings ;; Murder ig

Proofread + edited ;; Never lol

Auth. Note ;; BOO BITCH IT'S ME !!

I literally cannot leave posting anything any longer but the HS post is taking so long and I just can't so have so assassin*town lore bitches :/

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Aaron T

T loves to make a game out of his targets

Playing with his food kinda mf

Definitely the type to sit down and go on some big villain speech tangent to his target as they're tied up and gagged or whatever

"It's nothing personal, dude. Gotta make money somehow, y'know?" comes up a lot

He loves to make his presence known to his target

Some may think it's weird that he enjoys his victims targets screams and pleads for mercy but trust him, it's simply acquired taste.

Once he's got your file and he's skimmed it once, T is off.

He's coming to getcha ass

Please remain calm during this process, keeping your arms and legs within their binding to ensure a confused T and an extended expiry date

T got into the business when he was struggling for money

He had nowhere to turn and so he became a hitman for a certain company

Now, though, he works for anyone who offers good money

T never really found a way out of this line of work and after all this time he's a little scared to try anything else

Throwing knives are his life-ender of choice, he especially likes to juggle them and freak people out

He can do this because he went through a "i'm running away and joining a circus and becoming a knife thrower because that's cool also i'm going to eat mcdonalds every day and you can't tell me what to do because i'll be in the circus" phase

You know that phase that we all go through

The one that we come out of with the skill of knife juggling and throwing

Yeah, see, i knew you'd relate !!

T mainly takes cases that require a very public death

Not that he kills in public

No, I mean that the new about this death needs to be loud and send a message

This kinds of missions require a bold and...unique style which T possesses

Although T has his own preferred style he definitely likes getting tips or hearing about others

Since Tae Young's is the complete opposite of his he really likes to learn about his

T definitely tries to takes aspects of all the other's methods and try them out to see if he finds them better

The biggest Robaire v Z instigator you've ever seen istg

T will purposely make shit up to piss one of them off and pin everything on the other

And everyone definitely knows this

But neither can pass the excuse to beat the other up

Lovingly of course

Middle child energy all day every day

But Papa Jesse™ does not overlook him

Which T is eternally grateful for

It's nice to be acknowledged and viewed as an important member of their little group

And Jesse is always there to include him and hype him up

Fun fact: T absolutely loves raspberry jam doughnuts !!

Jesse

Jesse prefers to watch over his target before striking

He'll get your file memorised and then he tries to get more personal info

Over the years Jesse's been working he's figured out the best and his favourite way of getting intel is organically, in person

Mans is so old

Because he's very charming and overall outgoing it's easy for him to worm his way into his targets lives

Jesse tends to get assignments were a careful, strategic kill is needed

He is very delicate with his work

Tip-toeing around, very careful not to rock the boat

And obviously he's had years to hone his skills

When Jesse takes missions he basically shuts off his emotions

In this line of work emotions are frowned upon and truly don't get you anywhere

Empathy is a useless trait and boy does Jesse know it

Because of his chosen method he's gotten mildly attached to targets when he'd first started out

Jesse learned the hard way to not challenge the system he'd found himself in

Play their game and no one gets hurt

You want to give your kids a good life, don't you??

Jesse's preferred weapon is a gun

A fairly quick method that doesn't require him to hang around after

Jesse doesn't necessarily enjoy any part of his process but he does find it interesting figuring each target out - what makes them tick, what buttons to push and what to stay away from

He's interested in the psychology of each and every one of his targets

Jesse initially got into this line of work for his kids

His partner left them on his doorstep and he just panicked

Jesse was barely able to support himself, how the fuck was he meant to support two kids

This is how

As the most seasoned assassin Jesse tends to look out for those with less experience and gives them tips

He doesn't see others as competition

There's no competition in a race no one wants to win, after all

Jesse definitely took Z and Tae Young under his wing the most but he looks out for all the boys and hope to be a good role model for them

Jesse usually keeps the boys away from his kids as he wants to keep the two sides of his life separate

Though on occasion the boys do get to play cool uncles and run around with the kids for a bit

He's very insecure about how good of a parent he is to his kids - Jesse's constantly worrying that he's going to corrupt them or ruin their lives by getting sent to jail or something

At his lowest points he's considered giving his kids up but at the end of the day he loves his kids more than anything and could never give them up - not unless they were in danger

Fun fact: Jesse favourite kind of jewelry is earrings and he especially loves dangly earrings

Aaron T

This man can be creepy af ngl

You will never see him coming

This bitch is silent and no sounds will be coming out of him until he's got his target on lock

He hates when people beg him and scream

Like please,,

He realises you don't want to die

No one particularly wants to die via assassin but suck it up

Deal with it, it's happening now

Z gets headaches and migraines super easily

So when people are screaming it just makes him want to shut them the fuck up even faster

Z got into the business by accident

He's been working in the industry the second longest, just after Jesse

He was young and naive

Initially Z was meant to be a bodyguard of sorts

And he was for a little while

But once he was sucked into the company he could not leave

Kinda sad but mans is being manipulated fr

Z mainly takes on people who oppose the company he works for

But there's always that one person who just doesn't make any sense

But oh well, money's money right ??

Z's weapon of choice is anything with a blade tbh but he's known to use a dagger

Z is probably the most sympathetic assassin out of them all

Don't get me wrong he's not kind, good or even nice

He really just doesn't like watching people in pain

For an assassin he's pretty squeamish

He tries his best to give every target a quick death

One that's as painless as possible

Deep inside (where he's repressed the shit out of his emotions) Z really wishes he could leave this way of life and do anything else

He probably became an assassin at the youngest age

Z definitely wanted to prove his independence by getting a job and just got unlucky

Z is incredibly grateful for Jesse

After having spent so long in the business with no support having a mentor-figure was a godsend

Robaire somehow always gets Z into competitions over their kill count that week

They get T to keep a tally

Z finds T really refreshing, after having spent so long being uniform within the industry because that's all he knew to have someone just do whatever the fuck he feels like is kinda mind-blowing

Tae's cuteness may make people melt but Z's stoic shows of affection make all the boys simply implode

Fun fact: Z hates rollercoasters with a fucking passion, especially ones that go upside down

Robaire

Robaire prefers to watch his target for a while

A couple weeks to a month usually

He keeps a firm distance from his targets and only watches over them

Robaire believes getting close to your target is idiotic when it's your literal job to make them extinct

Ahem looking at Jesse and Tae Young

Okay but while he doesn't personally agree with these methods he can acknowledge the results they bring both assassins

And he just really admires Jesse but don't tell him that

Robaire really plans out the best course of action for each of his targets

Double then triple checks the file whilst making the plan

Not that he needs to - he's got it memorised

But just in case

Robaire is someone who would do anything for his family

Even commit murder to pay back a debt

He never enjoyed his job, he despised it in fact but it was all for his family and fuck if there isn't a better cause than that...

Robaire got into the business through a family debt

His cousin was the one meant to work to return the debt on behalf of his uncle

But instead Robaire was offered last minute instead

Being who he is Robaire accepted because at the time he had no idea about his cousin and thought he was the only one who could repay the debt

And of course he'd do anything to help his family

It took years after learning the truth

And some all-nighters filled with reassurance and advice from Jesse

That Robaire finally let himself be angry at his family

He finally let himself mourn the loss of his freedom to a debt that he wasn't supposed to be paying back

At his core Robaire is just tired and missing his family

He just wants love - is that too much to ask ??

*Cue the rest of 4*TOWN starring as Robaire's chosen family !! :DD*

When they aren't squabbling or competing Robaire and Z are bonding over their shared trauma as all rivals should

They relate to each other in the way they were both coerced into the business a way too young of an age

They both find that their rivalry keeps their mind off things so even if from the outside it looks bad they both know just how good their relationship with each other is

Jesse fills a father/uncle role for Robaire

He's someone to look up to and admire

But he's also someone Robaire can come to in a time of need and curl up against as they fall asleep together

One day randomly Tae Young started giving Robaire homemade bead friendship bracelets

Robaire gave him one in return and it became almost a tradition

now they make bead bracelets together on off days bc awww

Fun fact: Robaire loves the Paddington movies - something about a small bear finding a family with humans in London tickles him and makes him go all soft

Tae Young

If silent but deadly was a person

In and out in a matter of minutes

Though he will stay behind just to make sure you stay dead

Tae's a bit of a worrier

He's scared he's going to mess up and get into trouble

He has a bit of trouble with authority figures

(No I'm not projecting)

You'd think he'd be the kindest assassin but not really

When Tae Young was first starting out he definitely cried a little bit when completing missions

He's found ways around that though

Tae realised killing people with his own two hands just wasn't working out for him

So his demise-determiner of choice is poison

Depending on the instructions within a targets file Tae will switch out slow-acting poisons for faster ones, untraceable poisons for obvious ones, and so on

His preferred method is similar to Jesse's in that he will make appearances in your life

Expect him to be a familiar and friendly face you see fairly often

But Tae's role in his target's life will never develop from there

He likes to gather intel in person, like Jesse, but he won't use only that method as it's impractical and would take months to learn anything below surface level unless he posed as a therapist or something

Leave that shit to people with too much time on their hands like Jesse

After Tae Young's gathered whatever info he needs he gets right into the main part of the mission - the assassination

If given a choice Tae personally prefers fast-acting, untraceable poisons but any will do

Tae Young got into the business a bit differently to the other boys

You see Tae was introduced into this way of life through his family, like Robaire, not because of a debt or anything like that

It's because his whole family are, have been or have some connection to assassins

The family business with a dark side if you will

Tae doesn't love his job but he figures it could be worse

He makes a fair bit of money and he has the freedom to do most things on his own terms and reject a mission if it violates his boundaries

Plus he the free time to volunteer at animal shelters so in his mind there isn't really anything better suited for him out there

But coming from a family of assassins Tae Young has access to a lot of resources the others don't have

Of course he shares what he can though

Tae Young loves to try and trick T by giving him phony tips "from his family" just to see him try them out

And he does

Every

Single

Time !!

And T always comes back with a weird story about how he somehow managed to make Tae's ridiculous advice work for him

One day Tae Young will successfully trick him...one day !!

A huge hobby of Tae's is pestering Jesse

"Jesseeeeee,, can we see the kidsss ??"

"Jesseeeeee,, can you get me a dog ??"

"Jesseeeeee,, what about a cat ??"

"But Jesseeeeee,, I really want ice cream !! Can we pleaaassseee go get some ??"

And because Jesse is a 10/10 older male figure in all the boys lives (and because no one can resist Tae's puppy dog eyes) he usually gets what he wants

Tae Young and Z definitely have quiet time together

Whether they nap, do a puzzle, watch a movie or show, doesn't matter because it's quiet bonding away from the noise (Aaron T)

And Tae loves to paint Z's nails

He tries out new nail art on Z

Z proudly shows it off - he even gets fingerless gloves just so he can show off Tae's nail art even when he's on missions - it makes Tae smile every time he sees it

Fun fact: Though Tae loves animals big and small he does have a fucking ginormous small fear of cows (yes i am projecting, don't laugh, cows are frightening af try me-)

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Okay and that's all for our latest lore dump, hopefully the next post will be the HS theatre headcanons but who knows at this point lmao

Hope you enjoyed <3

[tedturneriscrazy]

Through the Looking Glass Ruins. No preamble. Let's do this.

Oh, hey, I finally figured out how to do the "keep reading" thing! Neat!

So that's how they're explaining Willow not being in this, huh? Pixies must be a nasty piece of work.

Incidentally, I really hope we get a Willow-centered episode this season.

"What's the point of being good at this if I can't do anything good with it?" Helluva line

Gus lying on the floor groaning in frustration is a mood

Fuck yeah Gus has a Bad Girl Coven shirt

I don't know how King was talked into recording that "leave a message" bit, but I'm into it.

Hi Willow. Bye Willow.

Loving Luz's permutations of "Gus"

Okay but the whole library card bit implies Luz does this all the damn time.

I'd ask why not get her own, but then I remember who she lives with.

I must admit, it's somewhat jarring to see Gus so filled with self-doubt.

Braxus! (Not worried about his fate so I can just enjoy his presence)

So Construction = earthbending. I knew it!

I also knew that Warden Wrath and Braxus were related! Turns out Wrath is a single dad.

Yes, Gus, those are their tracks.

Mattholomule (God, I hate writing his name) simping over Bria, aka how some people are about Felicia Day. (No problem with her, for the record, I'm just being a smartass)

Gus is actually invited to the adventure rather than offering to come along? That's a refreshing change of pace.

How long was Luz holding her breath?!

It seems the call to adventure won't take no for an answer, Gus.

I know Gus crushing on Bria puts a damper on the Ace Gus headcanon, but consider: Ace Biromantic Gus!

Eda making headlines with her human market, we love to see it

Planet of Humans "Too implausible" lmao

Ah, there's hair down Amity! So good!

"Finally! I can learn how to summon the Dark Lord!"

Luz is yearning

Do Ed and Em just...go around like that?

"Nah, looks like you've got that covered." So everyone just knows, cool cool.

Ooh, they/them date for Ed!

In this episode: blushing, and lots of it!

Also Luz is such a bi disaster it's great.

The twins definitely know what's up. Then again, Luz and Amity are not in the least bit subtle.

¡Más español!

Amity breaking the rules to help her gf? Now that's character development!

(Although it seems to me they could've just tried asking Malphas about that diary, but whatever)

"You have to do everything I say" I'm sure this won't come back to bite them.

Man, Matt really is quite little. Even Gus is taller than him now.

HADOKEN!

(Not sure if he figured out it was a fire glyph or if he was just guessing)

I say the buffing properties of illusion magic are underappreciated.

Ooh, what if the Galderstones were made by illusionists? That might help explain why illusions aren't boosted by them!

Forbidden Stacks really going hard, huh?

More blushing, always nice

So that's how Amity has her own secret room in the library.

Potential future date in the human realm is a powerful motivator, I see.

That "Don't tread on me" snake never said anything about poking.

Make the butterfly boi lookout, sure.

Beginning to think Bria is not as...nice as she puts on...

Grave robbing is a perfectly wholesome activity for teenagers, right?

Yup, I was right about Bria.

"Who's that Pokémon?!"

"Deadwardian Era" I love this show's wordplay

Y'know, considering all these ancient books have their own separate area, they are not kept in the best condition.

This is still cute as hell.

So much for the being quiet part...

Of course Malphas talks like an old hippie. Why did I expect any different?

That whole exchange...I just...😭

The "doing stupid things," the dawning comprehension on Amity's face, Luz vowing in Spanish to make things right...so much to unpack here!

Also, I'm still waiting for Amity's turn to have a proper cry this season. That doesn't count.

"It's a faaaaake!" Callback to the Pokémon bit and a Star Trek DS9 reference? I am a master wordsmith!

(Disclaimer: I haven't really watched any Star Trek. Everything I know about it is through osmosis)

Strange, Gus seems less than thrilled by being hugged by a frazzled old man.

Illusionists guarding the Galderstones makes perfect sense, but unfortunately it does require that that fact not be widely known.

Call me crazy, but I think Bria was bullshitting when talking about "changing things for the better."

Wait, are they making Matt less of a shithead? I think I'm okay with this.

Oh, Angmar, a shame you have to hang with such a crowd.

Regardless of that development, I maintain that Angmar>Alador in the contest of butterfly bois.

Come on, Gavin, you can't seriously be falling for this. (Everything about this is hilarious. Big mustaches, man)

"I'm not dumb enough to fall for these tricks!" Give it a moment.

ANCIENT SINS ANCIENT SINS

Yeah, it's an obvious reference, but it's a good one, dammit!

Damn, Gus, going ham with all that. And the whole graveyard, to boot!

That's the thing about illusions, you can get super fucked up with them. Look what they got away with for a TV-Y7 rating!

Welp, Gustholomule just got some fuel.

Aw, sibling bonding moment.

"Is that so bad? You weren't happy before."

New hair color!

Luz is into it!

Ed and Em are us.

Time for lore!

Ah, conveniently timed wind blowing through Luz's hair, I see.

"Don't worry. You have a way of sneaking into people's hearts." This is some Kingdom Hearts bullshit and I am here for it!

I think I spent all my freakout energy last night, so no all caps for the kiss.

Oh who am I kidding AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Luz's turn for dawning comprehension!

Amity's whole reaction to what she just did is 100000/10

The way Luz just sinks to the ground

So yeah, that was something, huh? Gus adventure and Lumity development! What more could you ask for?

(Maybe a few things, but we can talk about that elsewhere)

Anyway, I'll be doing this again next week! Probably sleep deprived as usual.

[jenodunno]

Studying

a/n: aish i’m sorry i haven’t written in a while, i have no excuses for myself other that i had no inspiration to write. Anyways i hope you enjoy this cute little story of Jaemin tutoring you hehe

pairing: Jaemin x Reader

warnings: none ?

"How can you even get good grades in this class" You sigh looking at your boyfriend's test paper that the teacher just handed out.

"I don't know," He shrugs looking over at the grade on your paper "But I do know I'm better at it then you" He lets out a small laugh

"Instead of laughing you should be a good boyfriend and help me" You sulk, laying your head on your desk.

Let's just say Human Anatomy isn't the class you do best nor do you even like it, but the sadly you still need to pass the class to no disappoint your parents.

"Of course I'll help you out, love," He smiles looking at you before petting your head "I'll come over after school, like that we can get started"

"Wait, what ? Now ?" You asked in disbelief "I know I asked for help but not right away I want to rest my brain a little"

"Yah...no, the faster we study the faster you'll understand what's going on and anyways the next test is schedule for next week so it's best if you start now, love." He says letting out a small laugh at the end when you sighed once again for like the one hundredth time.

"Fine" You mumble burying your face in your hands.

-

Wednesday at your place, (A week till the test)

"Wait" Jaemin says trying to hold back his laughter while looking at the test you received back from your teacher yesterday because he's a great boyfriend and doesn't want to laugh at your failure "You're really going to tell me you don't know where the esophagus is,"

"No, I know where it is, It's just that-"

"Then why did you put throat instead,"

"Because technically-"

"No baby no, technically it isn't our throat"

“Well technically yes because when we eat food goes down in it-“

“I can tell this is going to be long” He sighs chuckling

“Heyy don’t laugh at me !” You huffed, pushing him lightly “can we take a break we've been reviewing for hours" You sighed

"It's only been 30 minutes, my love," Jaemin says and looks at you with an 'are you serious' face "And I pretty sure we'll need more than that if you don't know where the esophagus is" He chuckles

"You're really not going to let me go for that one" You say getting up off the floor

"Nope" He smiles at you, before kissing you on the nose.

-

Thursday at Jaemin's place, (6 days till the test)

"Maybe you'll focus more at my place" Jaemin mumbles opening the front door for the both of you.

"What's that suppose to mean" You say looking up at him

"I mean that, maybe studying in another environment that's not your usual one might help you focus more" He explains

"I practically live here with you, Jae" You looked at him laughing a little

“Yeah yeah whatever, come on” He laughs stepping a side a little letting you go in first before closing the door behind himself.

After getting settled on the kitchen counter with all the school work laid out in front of you guys and Jaemin to your left you try to pay attention. In the end you actually are paying attention to what Jaemin is showing and explaining to you, maybe he was right earlier....

"So as long as you can try to remember this graphic by heart you'll at least get a 10 out 35 on the test" He says trying to make you feel better

"Yah but that isn't enough," You blow out a breath

"I know it isn't, love, but that's still better than the grades you got yesterday, and anyways I'll try my best to help you" He says grabbing your hand into his own "Anyways let's focus on this chapter, most of the vocabulary and work that'll be on the test is in this chapter, okay ?" He says softly looking at you and when you nod at him he starts explaining.

After 2 hours of studying flying by, you both decide to take a break.

“You know I hope you focused more on what I was explaining to you and not my face.” He smirks before drink out of his water bottle

“W-what do you mean,?!” You answered back in a flustered state “I was paying attention to you.”

“Yeah to me or to what I was explaining,” He chuckles before raising an eyebrow at you “because to me it seemed like you were paying more to me, as in my face and not the work.”

"T-that's not true," You defended

"Come on just admit to it and I'll give you a kiss" He once again lifts the corner of his lips forming a smirk

"J-jaemin !"

-

Saturday at Jaemin's place, (4 days till the test)

You don't know if Jaemin is actually a really good tutor or he is a good tutor because suddenly you can understand things you didn't think you could or at least you think so. I guess you could say you were lucky to have him.

"Are you guys really studying on a Saturday ?" Jeno says walking in Jaemin's house as if it's his own with a basketball in his hands

"Hmm, Oh yeah I'm helping my princess over here not fail for our next test" Jaemin hums a response to Jeno barely acknowledging his presence "Anyways, do you understand the graphics over here, It's explaining how the fluids in-"

"What's up fuckers" Donghyuck says bursting into the living room with a football soccer ball in his hand "Jeez it's literally the weekend and you both are in here studying, tsk, you know it feels really good outside ?" He smirks at you, dropping his weight on the couch "I would say the weather is about 28 degrees with a few clouds and the wind is-"

"You know it's better to stay in here than to be outside with your presences," You playfully glare at him

"Oh come on, stop acting like you hate me when you don't" He laughs before throwing the ball his holding in the air before catching it again.

"Stop being lame Donghyuck," Jeno chimes in "Anyways come on Jaems, It won't kill to take a little break and have fun, right Y/N ?"

"Okay, okay fine how about about we take a small break," Jaemin says getting up before smiling at how happy you looked

Let's just say it wasn't a small break you both took.....

-

Tuesday afternoon in the library (The day before the test)

"I'll never understand why it's so important to learn this, I honestly don't care about the human anatomy and how it works," You whine pushing your folder away from you

"You know your only learning about this because you chose this course" Jaemin says letting out a small laugh at your defeat

"Yeah well I only chose the scientific course because I wanted to have Laboratory but even that is hard and boring, I should have chosen the literature course like that I would of gotten art and I'm pretty sure that is much more fun and less hard than this human body thing. And also I wouldn't be alone because Renjun is there" You ramble out.

Jaemin pauses looking at you, then looking at all the school work flared out in front of you both before letting out a small sigh with a light laugh at the end.

"Look baby, I'm going to be honest with you. I know we've been studying for this test since last week but going the way we are going and the fact that the test is tomorrow, you're going to fail this test, I love you, but there's nothing we can do about it now" Jaemin says looking over at you before you let your head fall on the table with a bang gaining peoples attention. Jaemin just smiles at them before bringing his attention back to you caressing your back

"I knew it, I'm going to fail again and like you said there's nothing we can do" You mumble out lowly with a sigh following at the end

Jaemin doesn't respond but just sits there and comforts you.

-

Wednesday, ( test day )

The moment the teacher handed out the test papers, you knew you were doomed. On the first page you barely understood anything and the second page even less, though on the third page there was the graph that you studied so hard to remember, which you shockingly did. While filling out the graph you started remembering a few things Jaemin had taught you a few days prior.

30 minutes passed by pretty fast before you heard your teacher's timer going off "Okay times up, everyone pens down" He then proceeded to collect everyone's papers before going back to his desk to grade them leaving the class to do whatever.

"So how do you think you did ?" Jaemin says looking over at you, who was staring at the bracelet you were wearing

"Hm ? Oh umm well honestly I'm pretty confident, after I completed the graph suddenly things you had explained came into my head and I feel like I got a lot of things correct !" You say cheerfully. You honestly do think you did pretty well, all the answers suddenly came into your head at one pointed so yeah you are confident in yourself.

"I'm glad to hear that you're confident, It puts me at ease knowing I tutored you well" He smile at you like always

"Of course you did, you're a pretty good tutor y'know now I understand why Jisung always comes to you for help" You laugh softly

-

"Good morning everyone, i hope that today has been a pretty decent day for you all" Your teacher speaks out to the class walking in front of his desk. "Now before you ask yes I've graded yesterdays test, I will now hand them out" Your teacher announces.

"Yay finally, I could barely sleep last night because of this." You giggled cheerfully

Your teacher finally reaches yours and Jaemin's desk handing out your papers. When giving Jaemin his paper, you didn't miss your teacher giving him a small pat on his shoulder before giving you your paper with a small smile on his face. Giving him a small smile back you checked out your grade on the top right of the paper. The moment your eyes landing on your grade, you practically had stars popping out out of them.

With a little squeal of happiness you turn your paper around to show it to your lover with a huge grin on your face.

"Look !" You beamed happily at your boyfriend "Ahh thank you so much" Leaning in giving him a hug

"You're welcome my love," He chuckles looking down at you on his chest, reaching to pat your head "But you do know that having a 14/30 doesn't exactly mean you passed"

But you were quick to look at him and shush him with a finger to your lips "Don't ruin it for me, it's the highest grade I've gotten in this class" As your face changed from having a playful pout on it to having a smile letting a few giggles escape from your lips.

[ratsoh-writes]

✨howdy!✨

alrighty, let's do this.

i would say i'm pretty chill, that is ofc, when you get to know me. i wouldn't say i'm rude to strangers, but i no doubt come off as either mean, bratty, or intimating if you happen to glace over at whatever me and my friends are doing without context. i'm a high-key shit disturber, and usually spend my time doing whatever i want, whenever i want. human lives are short y'know? gotta complete that bucket list sooner or later. i love bullshit banter with my friends, most people who watch us have a perfectly civil discussion probably think we hate eachother. i do have a love/hate relationship with cringe content and weird fanfiction.

i adore horror games and movies, especially the stupid ones that make no sense and have horrible editing. i have an iron stomach when it comes to food servings, and DESPISE when people waste food. it isn't a deal breaker, i'm cool with finishing plates at restaurants because other people can't. just don't intentionally throw out half a burger infront of me. i'm basically a human trashcan. y'know those awful food combo's kids make at lunch? like banana bits, mayonnaise, mustard and milk? yeah i used to eat those as a kid for money.

i'm one of those dumbasses who will refuse a dare but can't say no to a triple dog dare. y'know, like an idiot.

i'm not picky and wouldn't mind being matched with one of your non-skele characters.

flaws:

a total dumbass i trust to easily and get hurt by it.

hypocritical, i constantly nag my friends to take care of themselves while forgetting to do the same.

memory, i have shit memory, (half genetics half accident) and can't remember a lot of things, like names upon first meetings. possibly even second or third. i could get jumped and wouldn't be able to tell their faces later.

. . .

strengths:

the place i grew up wasn't too friendly, but that means I'm rather tough, emotional and physically! i learned to be protective of my friends and those who can't defend themselves. though most of your boys could most definitely take me in a fight. i usually have an arm or something on my friends shoulder or leaned up against them in public simply because it makes me feel as if they need me. although this has put me on edge, so no sudden grabbing or i'll punch you on reflex.

cooking, though i'm no gordan ramsey. i can make rather decent warm meals that serve their purpose. i'm house person material. (most of my money comes from commissions.)

optimism, though i am quite realistic, i can't help but assume the world means good, i just grew up in the wrong place. i always give people second chances and genuinely want the best for everyone in fights. which is both good and bad.

. . .

hobbies:

anything! i'm always down to do whatever my friends are doing though i do have a passion for art and writing. currently working on a game and think it would be neat to stay up with my S/O if they have a lot of work and keep them company while working on the game and commissions.

physical description:

quite tall if i do say so, still around 5'9, 5'10ish. blonde messy hair. my blue eyes have dulled in color over the years and look rather grey. i have bags (which pisses me off because i get like 17 hours of sleep, the day night cycle means nothing to me). a bit on the chubby side, but not by much. my legs are probably my most attractive feature, very long. i also got large thighs. thick thighs save lives fellas.

lover qualities:

my love language is physical touch. both with S/O's and friends. i would be down to pick my S/O and carry them around for no other reason than 'hehe small' i don't have any dealbreakers. i don't mind being the shorter or taller one. i adore listening to people rant about anything and everything they enjoy. please rant to me about science stuff i'm too dumb to understand you look adorable doing it. expect me to drop by your workplace to bring you a lunch and hugs. and if it's the mafia's my answer remains the same. i've been lucky enough to survive a lot of "how did i even get here" situations. if my S/O is also a shit disturber expect a lot of night time shit disturbing. classic romantic scene of me throwing them over my shoulder to escape horribly executed ideas. i would prefer for my S/O's family/friends to like me so that's something i will most definitely work on when i figure out i have a crush. asking them out would probably be a love letter and muffins left at their door.

✨

Ok! You can fit quite a few guys, but I think the best match here is……….SLIM (mafiaswap papyrus)!

Slim is a certified babysitter. He’s the most likely ally when it comes to wrangling in cash and bruiser. Your dumb-*serum stands no chance against his logic and supreme cover up skills lol

Another thing that he would live about you is how you have a thick skin and aren’t afraid to stand up for your friends. Strength is something all the mafias admire, but slim especially. He wants a SO that will go up to the cashier and tell them he ordered no pickles. In return, slim will take out anyone who tries messing with you ;)

You’re gonna be pretty shocked at just how much of an attention hog he is after dating. Slim can be pretty clingy and will happily go along with whatever crazy plans you come up with if it means spending time with you

Hun, you can pick him up anytime. He’ll absolutely love being slung over your shoulder. Even if his brothers tease him for it.

Something he appreciates a lot is you staying up with him while he works. Due to his night owl hours, sometimes his work days are pretty lonely.

Two other choices were butch and bruiser.

[trekkiehood]

Spiked Drink - SPN Fanfic

@febuwhump : Day 12 - Spiked Drink

Title: Spiked Drink

Fandom: Supernatural

Words: 1.3k

Setting: Pre-Series/Standford Era Brotherhood AU

Whumpee: Dean

Caretaker: Caleb

Ship: None

Ao3 Link

Summary: Dean and Caleb are at a bar when someone slips something in Dean's drink.

Trigger Warnings: Spike Drink, Attempted Non-Con, Implied Abuse

Authors Note:

Dean is 23 Sammy is 19 Caleb is 30

This one is really short but I also really like it. Don't have any plans for more at the moment but hey.

I really have no excuse for posting this late. Please enjoy!

---

The bar was loud and grubby and exactly what Dean needed. It had been a stressful day, really a week, if he was being honest a year. Just put it down as a stressful life.

Dean hadn't seen his dad in almost two months and he hated that it didn't bother him more. At this point it was almost a relief. He knew his dad was doing his best. Things were hard with Sammy leaving and whatever secret project the man was working on. But he didn't know that he could deal with the abuse - no not abuse that made it sound worse than it actually was. Sure Dad threw some punches and said some harsh things but he had just, for all intents and purposes, lost a son. Other people had it worse. Regardless, he didn't know how much more he could take. He could give his father all the grace in the world, he could even think he deserved it, but he was breaking down fast and without Sam there…

He really wasn't mad that his dad had decided to split off.

"What's going on in that freaky head of yours." Caleb nudged him with his elbow. Dean answered with a glare. "Hey if I was reading I wouldn't be asking."

"Yeah your morals are too high for that." He rolled his eyes, taking another sip of beer.

"Seriously man, you've been quiet all day. What gives?"

"Maybe it's the company." Dean said with a smirk.

Caleb raised his hands in mock offense. "Hey, you invited me here. I was perfectly happy in my boring office meeting."

"Oh yes, what are you building this time? A nursing home? Exciting."

"Nursing homes have to be built by someone! Why not someone with my expertise!"

Dean offered another eyeroll. "You deserve to be in one if you aren't noticing the way that girl is looking at you."

"Pshh, you think I didn't notice? She couldn't make it more obvious."

"And yet you're sitting here talking about nursing homes."

"She's got a friend with her, y'know."

Dean gave a small smile at the offer, "Really not in the mood, dude. You go though."

"You sure?"

"Stop being such a girl or she's gonna change her mind."

He patted Dean on the back as he stood, "Don't wait up, Deuce."

Caleb sauntered towards the two giggling women and Dean returned to his drink and his thoughts. Caleb had been clingy, but trying not to show it. He was worried and honestly it was a valid concern. Didn't mean Dean had to like it.

"Hey there, handsome." Dean was brought back to the present and saw a woman sliding next to him. She was pretty, he wouldn't deny that, but he really wasn't in the mood for company.

"Can I help you?" and okay yeah that wasn't his best comeback.

"No, but I think I can help you." She smiled, putting her hand on his knee.

Dean gently grabbed her wrist and moved it off. "Not tonight, lady."

"You don't know what you're missing."

"Sweetheart, what I'm missing is my peace and quiet."

"I promise I'll make it worth your while."

"And I promise I'm not interested."

"Fine." She snapped, the faux sweetness reverting into a dark coldness. "But you'll regret this."

"Trust me I'm used to regret. I'll learn to live with it." He took a sip of his beer as she turned and stalked away.

He really was too tired for this. The dark thoughts returned, mixing with his drink and making the perfect brooding session. It was about fifteen minutes later that he started to notice something wasn't right. He felt… drunk, tipsy at least. But he hadn't even had one full beer yet. It shouldn't even be starting to affect him. The world didn't feel quite right. Spacey was the word that came to mind. Like when he was concussed or hungover.

Dean waited another ten minutes before he decided something was definitely wrong. He went to stand and felt the ground shift under him. He cursed under his breath, bringing a hand to his head. Caleb was across the room and there was no way he was going to make it all the way over there. Not without making a scene at least. He closed his eyes trying to get the world to stop spinning.

Breathing hard through his nose, he held onto the chair, the only thing keeping him upright. His muscles felt relaxed and yet every warning bell was going off in his head. Was he sick? If so the symptoms had come on very quickly. It wasn't the alcohol, he hadn't had enough to even have an effect unless… he'd been drugged.

No one had even been over here except Caleb and… that woman. She'd slipped something in his drink.

"You alright there, sunshine?"

Speak of the devil.

"Get away from me." He forced out through clenched teeth, fighting the nausea.

She ran a hand up his arm. "Don't fight it. Just go with it."

He jerked his arm away and nearly landed on the floor.

"Stop being so stubborn." There was a pout in her voice, like the fact that he was resisting being drugged was a personal offense against her beauty. Or just some game he was playing.

Dean wondered momentarily if it would be worth it to call out to Caleb. Embarrassing? Yes. Worth it? Possibly.

His eyes were once again closed and he swayed slightly on his feet. He'd probably be incredibly relaxed if he just gave in to whatever was coursing through his system but he couldn't. He knew better than that.

A hand touched his shoulder and tensed, but he knew better than to make a move to dislodge it. That would most certainly end with him on the floor.

"Is everything okay here?"

And Dean could have cried at the voice.

"I think he had too much to drink." Came the giggly reply. "I was going to help him out."

The disbelief in Caleb's voice was somehow a relief. "Really?"

"She slipped something in my drink." Dean grunted, feeling his grip on reality fading quickly. "Get her off of me." He added, noting that she had one hand on his shoulder and one on his back.

Dean wasn't exactly sure what happened after that. Sound cut in and out but there were hissed words and maybe some shouting. Then his legs gave out.

Hands were on him and Dean's first instinct was to fight but he just didn't have the strength. In truth he wasn't sure if he could move on his own.

"Easy, I've got you."

"Damien?" It came out slurred and barely audible.

"Yeah, it's me. Let's get you out of here, yeah?"

Dean hummed in agreement.

"Try to stay on your feet but put most of your weight on me." Caleb ordered quietly, pulling Dean up and wrapping the younger man's arm around his neck.

Dean attempted to do what he was told but couldn't be sure how successful he was. A hand moved in his pocket and Dean clumsily tried to knock it away. "Don' do that."

"I'm just getting the keys, Kiddo. You're fine. I've got you."

Oh right. Caleb.

"Sorry."

Caleb balanced Dean between the car and his shoulder as he unlocked the impala. "For what?"

"Wasn' payin' 'tention."

"So not your fault, dude." He sounded distracted and worried.

"Should'a noticed."

"Nope." Dean was pushed down into a seat and his body went limp. Caleb disappeared for a minute then reappeared on the driver's side. "Pretty sure the whole point of those drugs is that you aren't supposed to notice."

"Don' even know when sh-she had- chance."

"It's okay, Deuce. Really. We'll deal with her later."

If anything else was said, Dean wasn't sure. His body finally gave up and the fog in his mind consumed him.

~TH~

Yes I'm evil. But he's with Caleb and relatively okay so... yeah.

Ok tomorrows is part two of "Better This Way" and I got emotional writing it so I'm really looking forward to you guys reading it lol.

I know what you're thinking. After being MIA for weeks, why am I suddenly back? Because my dear readers, midterms start tomorrow. And I am chronically most productive when I should be focusing on something else.

Sorry my titles are bad rn I'm brain dead.

On that note, I shall see you all tomorrow lol.

Let me know what you thought!

God bless, Jamie