#but with age comes the ability to look at the shit you used to obsessively adore

[fairyhaos]

seventeen as teachers

requested by @weird-bookworm ! it's a little to the left of what you asked but i hope it's alright anyway ><

masterlist

seungcheol

architecture professor. kind of thanks to physics!cheol anon for this idea but he really encourages hands-on learning especially for his subject, and he draws big diagrams on the board and gestures wildly with his hands as he's explaining why the models work and what do the students think of it? also he definitely gives vibes of someone who high fives the students when their models withstand his shaking tests, but also laughs and claps when they fall apart. because it's all about learning, isn't it? and he's with you to help you learn every step of the way. 

jeonghan

kindergarten teacher. cannot for the life of him handle kids older than that because then they get too tricksy and talkative for him and he gets tired too easily to deal with that. actually really good at handling the toddlers. he's also very pretty so all the kids unironically hang onto his every word, basically making him the god at keeping children in line. when he gets too tired of running around after them he just goes “kids :((( jeonghan is tired :(((“ and they immediately settle down to do something else

joshua

music teacher (1). he's a total department crush (and even school-wide crush) amongst the other teachers because he's so pretty and so kind, always and accidentally keeps making teachers fall for him bc he talks to them so nicely w that pretty smile of his. renowned for his ability to compose melodies on the piano on the spot, and always has students wanting him to help (cough compose for them) parts of their composition work. no one knows what he does outside of work, though. it's like he disappears into thin air after school finishes. 

junhui

gives me eccentric uni professor vibes. sits on his desk with his feet dangling and asks all sorts of strange and irrelevant questions to the students that are, actually, not strange and entirely relevant. has everyone walking out of his lectures feeling like a changed person because he either a) managed to get horribly off track or b) made them rethink their entire life choices. loved by all, and maybe a bit too much. poor guy definitely had an obsessed student try to follow him home before he got lost himself and so they both ended up in the middle of nowhere

hoshi

chemistry teacher. no other reason other than i think he'd look great with a pair of goggles on his forehead pushing his fringe back at funny angles whilst he grins maniacally and goes, “hey, kids, today we're gonna set things on fire!!!!”. so passionate about teaching these things to the students, and rambles on like he only has 5 minutes left on earth and he's gonna use every second to cram in as much chemistry knowledge into the students’ brains as he can in that time. it works, too. his passion inspires so many of them to take chemistry further up in the school. 

wonwoo

history teacher. all the students want him for their teacher when they take history because he's actually, like, competent and knows stuff. known for taking no shit when it comes to doing assignments on time because he sets reasonable deadlines and if you can't make them, then that's on you, not him. students love him. also super duper helpful if you have any questions and is always free at lunch to help bc he'll do anything to escape the hyperactive claws of mr. kwon and mr. wen who are always up to shenanigans

woozi

music teacher (2). mans life literally revolves around music and i can't imagine him doing anything else. department ace. conductor of both the symphony and concert orchestra, and rearranges all of the parts himself when the students find it a little too difficult. also do Not engage this man in a conversation about anything to do with music theory because he will rant for ages and any quick question turns into half of your lunch break being missed. he means well, though, and always gets ridiculous amount of thank-you presents at the end of the year. 

minghao

art teacher (1). dresses like one, too, and has been voted as ‘best dressed teacher’ for the past 3 years in a row. all the art students are kind of afraid of him because if you ask for feedback, there is a 50/50 chance that he'll rip you a new one whilst explaining what you did wrong. there's never any true cruelty to his words, though, cuz hes always actually giving genuine advice and he's always right in what he advises, so students either love him or hate him for his criticisms, though mostly it's the former. he's pretty, too, and his works are pretty, so that's a plus

mingyu

teaches business studies to the older students, purely cz i think he gives maths-adjacent vibes. he teaches a “special” subject that's not available to the younger kids and he's ridiculously handsome so he's kind of like a legendary figure in the school. even if he's a bit silly and adorable at times, he's also super good at holding intellectual debates with his students about current economic and political affairs. can be found bickering with mr. yoon bc the kindergarten teacher wants him to help with his taxes.

dokyeom

art teacher (2). smiles brighter than the sun at all hours of the day, and when the senior students are drowning in coursework and artist research deadlines, he's like the one and only guiding light that helps them get through it because of how endlessly optimistic he is. half the seniors take art solely because of him, actually. also a firm believer that all art is good art and there's no such thing as a “non-artist”. scolds minghao after work when he feels like the other teacher was being too harsh to the students

seungkwan

part of the senior leadership team. takes his position veryyy seriously, strides briskly around the school with a jingle of w set of keys he managed to procure from…somewhere. is always on top of uniform inspections which is always annoying for the kids, but he's also melodramatic and smiley so they love him anyway. the students are always try to recruit him for teacher quizzes and events bc he makes everything way more fun. 

vernon

classics teacher. this might seem odd but hear me out!!! dude loves ancient history and Will do deep dives on old artefacts and cultures that interest him, and i think that passion can definitely be transferred to him teaching kids about latin, ancient greek, old civilizations. known for sharing nothing about his personal life but also being able to talk for ages about something that happened over 1000 years ago. the students all find him super cool and also super endearing. 

chan

the guy who's hired externally from some sports club to act as the teacher to students during after school clubs. teaches martial arts, mainly, but he supervised an impromptu dance club one semester and the students loved it so much that they managed to bring the dance club onto the permanent schedule. everyone loves him. his sports club is 10000% sure that half the children who come to them were recruited through chan's lovely personality alone. 

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[minnesota-fats]

Snow Bat

Ch 1

Danny, a homeless kid living on the street. Bruce, a rich kid obsessed with trying to find his parents' murderers. They both meet one rainy night at age eighteen, and from that night forward their fates are intertwined forever more.

All is as it should be.

Danny remembers the night like it had just happened—but I guess you will witness it first hand. He had situated himself on a street corner, not busy enough to have a constant set of eyes on him—but then again no one really batted an eye at a homeless kid here in Gotham. Though, Danny did not consider himself a kid anymore. Not after all he had been through, though that doesn’t matter right now. Danny was sitting on the concrete walkway, not really paying attention, just sitting in thought on what he should do next. He had gotten this far, but he still needed to figure out what to do next. He had come into town with a bag of clothes and a wallet full of money. Thought that didn't last long when in a shitty part of town, known for muggers and killers.

Danny didn't really put up much of a fight either, he was too tired to really do anything and most importantly he didn't want to use the abilities that he has. Sure, it would have made getting away easier but when did Danny ever do things the easy way? So, in the end he was down one bag of clothes and any identification and money. Though while on the run, you don't really want people to know who you are. The only purpose his ID had was just to serve as a reminder of who he was, now with it gone, Danny can really start anew. He just had to figure out what he was going to do.

Danny didn't really register the rain until he felt it stop pelting his head aggressively. He looked up and was confused to see an expensive looking umbrella positioned over his head. Danny followed the hand holding the umbrella to see a young man who was surrounded by a halo of the street lamp shining directly behind him.danny tilted his head to the side to examine the man, he had stormy gray blue eyes and slicked back black hair that started to lose shape as the rain began to wet it and his suit jacket. Danny could feel his heart skip a beat, something very noticeable when your heartbeat is as slow as his. The man looked down at him and tilted his head to mimic Danny's own head tilt.

The young man’s name is Bruce Wayne, heir to the Wayne family fortune. He had been walking around to clear his head after he had a fierce argument with his father figure Alfred. Bruce had stormed out of the vehicle and began walking away in a random direction. Bruce knew that Alfred wouldn't be too far behind, knowing how protective he was of Bruce. During his walk however Bruce had spotted what looked like a kid no older than eighteen, sure he was the same age, but Bruce hadn’t considered himself a kid for a long time despite what others around him might say. He tightened his grip on the umbrella and without much thought he walked closer to the young man. As Bruce got closer he could see the man had a busted lip and swollen downcast eyes. There were smudges of blood on his dirty hoodie and a steady stream of pink bloody water dripping from his hair. It is clear to Bruce that this young man had just been on the losing side of a fight or at least a beating.

It reminded Bruce of how he used to get into fights in primary school after- Bruce didn't want to think about that right now. Bruce walked toward the man and used his umbrella to shield the man from the rain. When the young man looked up, Bruce couldn't help but admire how bright this man's eyes were—at least the one that wasn’t swollen shut. The young man in front of Bruce had unbelievably blue eyes that almost looked purple as the light shifted when the young man tilted his head to the side in confusion, Bruce mimicked the movement.

Bruce knelt down to be at eye level with the other man, “what happened?” He asked, voice smooth and unassuming.

“Got my shit stolen,” Danny says with a shrug, his voice sounding hoarse from the disused. Danny coughed and cleared his throat, “what does it look like?”

Bruce looked him over, “you seem to have suffered several contusions that range from a not so serious looking busted lip to a concerning head wound that may or may not need stitches.”

Danny tilted his head the opposite direction, “oh,” was all he could think of saying, dumbfounded by the sudden medical analysis.

“If you would like I can take you to the hospital,” Bruce offered, “my car is just around the corner.”

Danny’s eyes widened, “no! No hospital,” he exclaimed. His back straightened up as he tried to lean forward, but the sudden movement made him feel dizzy. “I, umm…. Can't afford it….” He tries, sounding unsure.

Bruce looked harder at the young man in front of him, “money isn't an issue,” Bruce starts. But the tension in the man's form made him reconsider his approach, “But if you want I can treat you at my home,” He offered.

Danny calmed down at what the man said, “No, it's ok. I'll be fine,” he starts as he leans back down against the wall, not taking his eyes away from the man in front of him. “I don't want to impose.”

“Then do you have somewhere I can take you? I’m not leaving you here alone.” Bruce says, stubbornly.

“Really buddy, I’m good, I don’t need-” he tries but Bruce cuts him off.

“I promise you, I won't hurt you,” Bruce tried again, “If you want you can even stay the night, have a warm meal and shower. I just want to help you.”

Danny looked at this man again, really looked at him. Danny could feel that this guy really meant it, he wanted to help danny—no strings attached. Danny let out a groan before leaning forward and shaking his head in annoyance. Danny looked back up into the man's eyes, “fine,” Danny grumbles out, “only for a hot shower. But if you're a serial killer I'm gonna be real pissed off.”

The man smiled and reached out his hand for Danny to take, “don’t worry, my name is Bruce. What’s yours?”

Danny accepted Bruce's hand and groaned as he helped hoist him up, “name’s Danny,” he responds, “I think I might have a broken rib or two,” he admits, swaying a bit as he clutched his side.

“To be expected when mugged in Gotham,” Bruce said darkly. The comment made Danny snort a bit in laughter. Bruce smiled a bit as he pulled Danny closer to him so they could both share the umbrella, Bruce could see the man tensed up a bit before resting into Bruce’s side. It was like that Bruce led the injured man to the edge of the sidewalk just as a sleek black car drove up and parked in front of them. Danny seemed to tense up again at the sight of the car, looking like he was ready to bolt. Bruce made sure to keep his posture passive, hopefully to convey that they were not in any danger.

The front window rolled down to reveal the familiar face of Alfred, “I see you have made a friend, Master Bruce.” He commented as he moved to get out of the car.

“No need to get out Alfred, I got the door.” Bruce says softly and he pulls Danny along and opens the back door. He holds the umbrella up above the door to allow Danny to get in first. As Bruce guides him down to sit Danny groans again as settled in. Bruce smiled at Danny reassuringly before he closed the car door and ran to the other side to get in. Once in the car Bruce looked forward at Alfred who looked through the rear view mirror at his ward, “to home please, Alfred, I promise my friend here a warm meal and shower,” Bruce explained before looking back at Danny, “after I check his wounds,” he says directing that part to danny who just groaned in annoyance before looking out the window.

Alfred smiled softly at the display of fragile trust, proud of his ward’s stubbornness when it comes to others safety.

Hopefully, this will be good for both young men, the old butler thought as he took note of the state the new man was in.

If only he knew how significant this meeting actually was.

Only time will tell.

—

Remaining chapters on ao3:

Link

[eternal-armin]

SO, HOW SHOULD i begin this?

this is the first time i'm going to do a multi-part fic that goes beyond like 2 or 3 parts (rip to the chandelier fic.) bear with me ;;;; but i'm obsessed with everything everywhere and i wanted to do something with the abilities evelyn and joy specifically have. and, of course, the angst that can come from it. looked over this as much as i could but im exhausted so my apologies for any errors ;;;

pairing : five hargreeves x male/transmasc reader [he/him pronouns]

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where : five is instantly intrigued by the eighth sparrow, a kid just like himself, which makes him try to seek him out specifically; nothing better than a second opinion about time from another person who knew its intricacies, right? well, he... may have gotten more than he bargained for.

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warnings : future mentions of trauma, fighting and injury (specific mentions of choking), existentialism, reader is just exhausted of life and shit in general, future cheesiness and such because i said so, depression, a whole lot of 'if i can bend reality to my will then how much does it really matter' kind of questioning (later on for the most part.)

the disheartening sight of seven other people—ahem, sorry, and one very confusing cube—was made endlessly puzzling by the appearance of a kid behind them. someone who looked five's age. physically, anyway. they both seemed equally entranced by the other; the kid's eyes were wide, his lips slightly parted, as if seeing someone he had been missing for decades. he furrowed his brow a bit, cocking his head, and klaus found himself peering where five glared.

"well, would you look at that? they've got a little brother, too!"

"zip it, klaus," he hissed, though with a certain degree of gentleness in his voice, even excluding the volume he had to use. looking back at the balcony, he was wearing more casual clothes with a sort of... varsity jacket of the sparrow academy's traditional colors and emblems. he was a sparrow, meaning he was born in 1989, meaning he was around thirty years old. so why did he look thirteen? it clicked then, suddenly; his power could have something to do with time. five felt instantly that he needed to speak with him. and if it needed to be done by force, then...

hands crossed neatly over his lap, barely restraining that very obvious agitation, ben chimed in with, "dad, who the hell are these assholes?"

a chorus of "shit" rang out amongst the umbrellas. five stared at him with the same amount of emotion as usual, mostly overrun by confusion, however his sentimentalities ended there. that balcony, barely a few yards from where five stood, held something—someone, rather—that could be an answer to his predicament. or at least help figure out if he could retire or not. if this world was safe enough to stay in. there was a whole host of colorful characters. if he was the sparrows' number eight, what exactly inspired reginald to adopt him as well? or was it just sort of a convenience thing?

luther stepped forward along with klaus. "is that really you?"

no amusement struck ben. if anything, he somehow managed to look more annoyed.

"and who are the weirdos on the balcony!"

"they are the sparrows. my children." reginald's controlled, vaguely irritated voice was such a contrast to diego's harsh tone.

much to five's chagrin this moment was a bit more important than staring at a boy. he turned on his heel, narrowing his eyes at the old man. "i'm sorry, what do you mean your children? that's not possible, old man."

"of course it is! i think i'd know, wouldn't i?"

well. something was very wrong, wasn't it?

the sound of footsteps and shuffling caught his attention and yet again he looked back forward; all of the sparrows once situated haphazardly on the balcony now stood across the tile threshold. the kid was shorter than he expected, in all honesty, and he seemed to be the least serious out of all his siblings—not to say that he looked like he was having fun or that he was laughing, but that he didn't want to fight. he looked like he would avoid it at every cost.

"everyone else can see ben, right?"

"cute hat, sundance."

"they call themselves the umbrella academy," reginald interrupted, "a group of scheming, perfidious malcontents who accosted me in the fall of '63 when i was away on business in dallas. be warned—they claim to be my spawn." all throughout reginald's little schpiel, five and the other kid maintained eye contact, five puzzled at his existence and him puzzled by five's puzzlement. he seemed to find it weird but, oddly enough, he didn't seem weirded out specifically. occasionally five would glance about the rest of the sparrows, gauge them if he could, and when that happened he would sometimes catch the barest glimpse of the kid looking at two of his sisters with confusion.

should i be worried? he was probably thinking to himself.

with five on his opposition? absolutely.

"claim? look, five, what the hell is going on?" allison sounded like she was moments away from boiling over.

"not sure yet, but it's concerning."

"is he telling the truth?" seeming to sense the steadily-rising tensions, the kid started, very slowly, to back away, retreating to the furthest reaches of the carpet before the battle had even begun.

"not the part about us being perfidious." vanya seemed to kind of placate that cowardice in him. maybe he even smiled at vanya.

"no! no, we're amateur-fidious, at best!"

"but we are his children, this is our house."

"yeah, we grew up here."

"yeah, yeah, we grew up here," alphonso mocked, getting a snicker from jayme, however the kid just shot them both a slightly judgmental look.

"i kind of think we would've noticed you," sloane said, to which luther stated his name and offered out his hand. sloane did not accept, really she didn't do a thing, and some whispers broke out amongst her and her little brother, whispers that five couldn't make out.

"okay. none of you belong here."

"oh! well, then. i guess we'll just pack our bags and move out."

christopher babbled and chittered, milking chuckles from his brothers and sisters. five had to say he looked way better smiling than frowning, though he figured it would probably be the same for anyone.

grace came in to the living room, heels click-click-clicking, holding a plate of cookies in her hand and apologizing that she couldn't do better. five couldn't catch the precise details. it was just kind of nice to see her again, even if she was certainly in need of a... few repairs.

"mom." diego's sentimental mumble caught some of the sparrows off-guard. the kid included.

"she's a robot, you perv."

"it's not a robot."

"don't call him that!"

"or what?" ben challenged.

"come closer and find out." bickering broke out between the two families, vanya and marcus actively trying to keep everyone's heads on straight, and five may have lost track of the conversation. until ben threw the first punch, anyway. he ducked back, watching as luther next was flung like a ragdoll across the room, landing on and breaking the poor couch. he saw the boy duck out and wanted to chase but first kept his loyalties, attacking ben and getting lost in a flurry of sharp punches and occasionally-failed dodges.

"you're alive. that's—great, or possibly horrible, i haven't decided yet."

"is that some weird kind of smack talk?"

"it's more of an existential problem, really, ben."

"awesome. well, here's your next problem." with his arms extending back and torso leaning forward, a grimy tentacle quickly burst from his chest, though not fast enough to stop five before he blinked away and onto the balcony.

"y'know, even though you're a total asshat now," five began, rudely cut off by another attack which he yet again evaded with ease. it was easier to land a punch and he watched as ben crashed into the ground. "it's nice to see you again. really." after seeing a particularly disturbing scene between diego and the cube, he stepped in to save allison from a few of the other sparrows, yet again finding himself on the second-floor balcony.

"thanks," allison managed through uneven breaths.

"no problem." both standing up, both dusting themselves off, they saw someone rounding the corner. it was him. still, that look of passive pacifism remained, now somewhat stoic in nature; he didn't want to fight, but he may need to. he was resigning himself to that fact and five could see it in his setting expression. and most importantly, there was also endless loyalty. oh, well.

five furrowed his brow, readjusting his jacket. "go help the others. i'll handle this one."

his new opponent almost seemed to space out, eyes narrowing just a bit as if being flooded by tons of new information. with grace and precision, and certainly speed, he set into a defensive stance. five blinked behind him to try for an attack and it was blocked. he continued to block, evade, block, evade, as fast as five tried to attack. the only sounds he made for a while were little grunts.

every failed punch and every successful block was adding to five's aggravation and his exasperation.

"y'know, five," he said, and hearing him speak for the first time startled five terribly, "delores wouldn't like you fighting like this! i'm not doing anything to you!" that shocked him so bad he misfired a punch but it landed for the first time because of how he went to dodge. he was weaker than five first surmised, falling onto the ground, and five continued to strike him back down until he was pinned and unable to move. he looked enraged, face twisted, eyes wide, teeth bared and gritted, glaring daggers at the kid, who looked to be in quite a bit of pain.

"how do you know my name?!" he barked. "how do you know her name?!" five got no answer and that was endlessly more irritating. the kid slammed his hand onto the ground and grabbed the first thing he could, a small piece of rubble, but five watched as, in those few fractions of seconds, that small piece of debris turned into a metal candlestick.

a metal candlestick.

the moment five saw that, he teleported, reappearing just a few feet away. he pushed off his total confusion; no time. the kid kept the candlestick in his hand when he fumbled to stand, not getting even a moment before five tackled him into a headlock. he didn't think twice about the look of pain on the kid's face because that wasn't exactly imperative and he didn't hesitate at the sounds he made.

the kid raised the candlestick again and five watched in subtle horror as it flitted between many different forms, each punctuated by a small sound and a bit of light. he only recognized a few of those hundred forms before he saw it land, like a wheel of fortune, on a knife and he plunged it down. five jerked out of the way of the blade. even though he had once been so hesitant to fight, so afraid of hurting other people, he seemed finally able to push that away and actually defend himself. he may not have been particularly strong, but he was swift and flexible while wrenching himself out of five's grip and adept at landing hits that would still make five flinch and pause. the kid blocked a punch and the moment that they came in contact with each other, the world around them... changed.

from the slightly destroyed upper floor of the academy house, it became an office building, papers flying about while people panicked about the violent fight between the aisles of cubicles. in that moment of confusion, he landed a hit on five, right in the gut. after a pained second, eyes squeezed tight, he grit his teeth and kept fighting.

the office building had become a high-rise skyscraper that they were fighting on the edge of.

another punch and they were on the deck of a cruise ship.

another block and they were in a spanning parking garage. the kid advanced and forced five to back up, closer to the edge of the space, and certainly to a painful fall. he continued to evade every attempted hit, no matter how five had calculated them, before pouncing on him and shoving him right out of the concrete monolith, plummeting down toward the ground along with him.

"how the hell are you doing this?!" five shouted, voice swallowed up by the shouting winds. he grabbed his shirt, bunching up his collar tight enough to cut off his breathing. the panic in his eyes welled up very quick.

and then they were back. instead of hitting the hard pavement ground, five lost all the air in his lungs when he thudded onto the carpeted academy floor, gasping for a second as the kid scrambled away from him, coughing and wheezing.

five hadn't even strangled him for that long, what the hell?

five forced himself to sit, to stand, shooting the glare to end all glares at the boy across from him—however he didn't attack yet. after all the disorientation he felt from those few... transitions, he wanted to keel over and vomit. he was in no condition to fight. luckily, however, neither was his opponent.

killing the kid would not get five his answers, no matter how badly he wanted to do it.

the kid was on the ground, propping himself up on one of his hands, his entire body seeming wracked by pained, nauseated tremors. he looked to be heaving, expression conflicted, exhausted beyond exhausted. he held his head the way one would when suffering from a bad headache.

his question went unanswered, which just served to annoy five further. "are you a time traveler or something? no. a multiversal traveler? do you work with the commission? that's the only possibility i can think of." knowing about delores, knowing about his name, certainly knowing his past, instantly transporting both of them to different places, it could all connect to multiversal travel.

but that spacing out part, before he could dodge like some highly trained professional, and that debris-to-candlestick-to-knife part? those still kind of puzzled him.

the kid wrinkled his nose. "that's the only possibility? you've got a narrow range." for someone who sounded so pained and exhausted, he could manage some mouthiness. somehow he sounded more genuine than sarcastic, though. strange. what about him wasn't?

five's eye twitched and his lips pressed hard into a scowl. "a narrow range? a narrow range? my 'range' isn't narrow! i've seen so many possibilities unfold! do you even know what i had to do to get here?" his words hissed with pure venom. that didn't faze his opponent, even whilst he jabbed an accusatory finger at him, as though somehow this was his fault.

"i do, actually," he managed, although still short of breath. "you got trapped in the apocalypse for a few decades, offered a deal from the commission, broke your contract with them and became a fugitive, got back to your family, and have been trying to evade apocalypses ever since. third time's the charm, right, five?" he recounted it all with the cadence and sensitivity of a history teacher summarizing an important, yet complicated, period of time.

"how could you possibly know—stop calling me that! how are you able to do any of this!"

"i'm not gonna stop calling you by your name." he laughed through his words. he laughed.

"is my exasperation funny to you?"

"i-i mean, kinda! do you know how many ways i've seen this conversation going?" five stilled like a statue. "this was the most common outcome. well, uhm, aside from you just killing me. it's just a little funny how you always react the same way." he shrugged a bit, as though this was simply some high school gossip, and not (one of) the most puzzling thing that five had ever been exposed to.

"look," five began, trying to steady himself. "if you don't tell me how you know about me—how you know about delores—this will become a timeline where i kill you. okay? capiche?"

he raised his hands in surrender. they shook. "capiche, five."

"stop. calling me that."

"to even the playing field, i'm [y/n]. there." he sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees, checking his hands. yet again he seemed to space out, just for a moment this time, before going through a grounding technique. he looked determined now, not as tired as before, though it did remain rather clearly in his eyes. [y/n] was just a kid again. he looked like a pathetic, sick kitten. "it's my power. i was born like this. you travel through space and time, i travel through reality. all of reality. alternate universes, as you know them. close by, far away, ones almost exactly the same and some with very distinctive evolutionary branches. the further away the world, the... stranger they get. i can see literally any possibility. so i—i fucking know you, five. i know you. i know your brothers and your sister and your in-laws and your niece and every other niece or nephew you could've had. there are so, so many worlds where i was an umbrella, or your friend, or stuck with you in the apocalypse, or... something like that. that's how i know you, and know delores. i was there."

sister, singular?

fuck, why was that his first take-away?

five narrowed his eyes slightly. "you can see every alternate universe," he said, slowly, as if clarifying something to [y/n] when he really needed the clarification for himself.

he nodded. "use them, too."

"use...?"

[y/n] broke into a little smile. his answer remained unknown because their restrained conversation was interrupted by one of [y/n]'s sisters. just one glance and his smile disappeared, staring at five with now-widened eyes, mouthing something along the lines of 'get the fuck out.'

five didn't need to be told twice. a flit of light and he had disappeared to who-the-hell-knows-where.

"who the hell was that creep," jayme mumbled, watching as [y/n] stumbled to his feet and dusted himself off. she grabbed him by the scruff of his jacket out of instinct to make sure he didn't fall over.

"uh... someone pretty interesting," [y/n] said, staring at where he'd once been, the flash of bright light still burned into his eyes. he wanted to find him. maybe needed to find him. probably because something in the world was very wrong, even if no other timeline had figured it out yet.

if any of the umbrellas knew where to hide out, it would probably be klaus, right? simple solution. kind of. as long as he could sneak out undetected by his siblings.

a good bit of time had passed when you finally had the chance to scope out the hotel obsidian. you had changed into something more casual and lowkey, sunglasses now balanced atop your nose and a nice light scarf about your neck. music played over your headphones and you wandered inside of the place, stricken with the sight of heavy art deco. it was rather nice, actually, when you took the time to appreciate it. then again, your mind was rather preoccupied with what was probably a very big deal. on the other side of the lobby, in the little bar and lounge area, you could spot a few of the hargreeves siblings. most notably five, now wearing a white bathrobe. soon his eyes glanced to you and you could feel his gaze sharpen. he looked back at his brothers and excused himself, stepping off the stool and teleporting to you before his feet hit the ground.

"what are you doing here," he hissed through gritted teeth.

"i mean, our conversation got cut off earlier. seemed right to continue it, y'know?"

five looked back at his brothers and then at you once more. klaus was staring after him but you didn't know if he recognized you; luther and diego were still totally enraptured in their chinese food.

the look on five's face told you a whole lot; it was critical to him to talk with you, figure things out, because he guessed—and guessed right—that you weren't just here to politely finish a conversation. something weird was going on, whether he wanted to know or not. "alright. okay. fine. just," he grasped your shoulder after a second and then you were both gone, reappearing instantaneously in a room you assumed to be five's. small cot in the corner, bunk bed opposite, and a couch.

god, you wanted to throw up. you clutched your stomach, squeezing your eyes shut for a minute.

he crossed his arms and looked at you. "so where exactly did we leave off?"

you paused to scrub your mind, trying to recall. a few blinks broke the few seconds of spacing out. usually you weren't this forgetful, but, uh, today was an interesting one. "i said i can use those universes and that confused you. and then jayme came around and i told you to leave."

"right," five muttered. "what exactly did you mean by that?"

"well, obviously i can use them for information." your voice was somewhat soft, actually, which was mighty strange to him.

"hmph. how could i forget." five's flat voice was thick with sarcasm.

you managed a smile. "but i can also use them for skills and stuff. the dodging, earlier; i can't really do that here. there's a world where i star in fighting movies and stuff, where i'm good at dodging and i'm fast and flexible, and i can... link my mind, i guess, and use those skills. and the... the candlestick. knife. thing. i can change things to whatever another me is holding. i can change my clothes. i can change reality."

"so, in essence, your mind is able to find every other instance of you across time and space and access them? and... communicate with them, i suppose, in some way or another."

you shrugged a bit. "about explains it. but the—... can i ask you something?" you suddenly sounded sheepish, hesitant, like you were constantly rethinking what you were about to say. five furrowed his brow, a little surprised to see that look on your face, and he really didn't like it.

"depends on what that something is," he responded, speaking cautiously.

you found yourself spacing out again, but this time not to access some alternate plane of existence. every other universe had its own noise, and every other universe was persistently audible; that loud buzz was starting to give you yet another headache. it was probably possible to overdose on tylenol, right? suddenly that constant look of exhaustion on your face was even more obvious to five. for a moment, he seemed almost sympathetic to that. he could certainly understand it, at the very least. "you've got about twenty-eight years of experience on me," you began, forcing your voice to be steady. "do you have any clue how to deal with the, uhm, existential part of it all?" lightheartedness seemed to be a skill of yours. five could respect it.

you doubted, sincerely doubted, that there could be anything in the world to help you from the persistent noise. or from the pain and exhaustion of swatting from world to world to world in the span of thirty seconds during a fight. it was a wonder you were still walking.

"why should i help you with that, exactly? your family tried to kill mine."

"i didn't try to kill anyone. i hid upstairs the entire time. well, uh, almost the entire time. i can be an ally to you guys. i'd... prefer to be allied with you guys." if anyone else in the world knew about the ins and outs of the umbrella academy, five had no doubt in his mind that it would be you and your presumably-torturous ability. it would probably be a smart idea on their side as well, to ally with you.

"before i agree to help you at all, how can i be sure your family isn't using you as some sort of... puppet? some sort of inside man?"

you shrugged a bit after a second. "i wouldn't be a very good choice."

"seriously? do you think i'm stupid or something?"

you crossed your arms, looking at him with narrowed eyes. "no. i know you aren't stupid. and i'm pretty sure that your first choice wouldn't be a 'weak thirteen-year-old kid with a power that cripples him with headaches and exhaustion whenever he uses it,' either. not to mention that said kid can't hear what's going on sometimes because of literally every other sound in the expansive multiverse." the words were sarcastic but the tone was very genuine, almost excruciatingly so.

"i have... so many more questions now."

you shrugged a bit. "i can answer some of them, i guess." considering that you knew almost all the ins and outs of his life, it seemed only fair to share some of yours. you were too tired to steer the conversation back to why you had came. perhaps you'd already forgotten it.

"why exactly are you thirteen? you were born in 1989, you had to be."

"... i chose to stay this age."

"how can you just choose to stay that age?" exasperation met with confusion in a very strange voice of five's. even after all he'd gone through and learned, you were just springing question marks all over the place. god damnit.

"i can manipulate almost every aspect of reality, five," you said, softly, in response. "it's not out of the realm of possibility to stay thirteen. not for me."

five nodded slightly after a second. that nod steadily turned into a shake of his head. "jesus—i should've grabbed some coffee." he pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. "just give me a second."

"oh. uh, no need." glancing about the room, there was a small corner table, atop it an ice bucket and some plastic cups for water. he watched, for some reason a bit puzzled, as you placed your hands on it. spaced out. and it flitted to a fresh coffee pot and a mug. they seemed like something from a diner.

well, that would make sense, wouldn't it?

you poured him a cup and handed it, still steaming, over to him.

five scowled a bit, staring down at the filled mug, before his sharp gaze landed on you again.

"it's just coffee, five. it's not poisoned or anything. here." you plucked it back out of his grasp and took a sip, waited a few seconds, and handed it back. "see? you're fine."

after a second, he nodded. "right." he didn't find himself bothered by drinking from the same mug you had. he'd done a lot worse things, hadn't he?

"so... what were those other questions?"

after taking a few healthy swigs, he cleared his throat. "your ability—it really taxes you? even after all these years?" five would never admit it, but the coffee was pretty goddamn good. whatever diner your alternate-self worked in was worth a visit, if it existed in this world. "is that why you were shaking and panting so much earlier?"

you felt a bit embarrassed. "yeah," you mumbled. "i trained with it a lot, but, i wasn't very strong to begin with." you sat down carefully on the sofa, pulling a bottle of painkillers from your coat pocket.

"when's the last time you had a dose?" five asked, mug to his lips, shooting you a side-eye.

"... maybe three hours ago. why?"

he clicked his tongue and shook his head, plucking the bottle out of your hands. "not now, then."

"dude! what the hell! i-i need those!"

"well, i can't keep asking questions to someone sick from taking too much tylenol. and you can wait three hours."

you groaned but didn't complain, just settling back against the comfortable cushions. "fine. i'll wait." and you mumbled 'you're just like sloane' under your breath.

"good," he mumbled, sitting down beside you after tossing the pills onto his bed. "you said you could hear every sound in the multiverse. something tells me that isn't a hyperbole."

you nodded a bit and slouched down, trying to figure out a decent analogy. "when you remove a door from its threshold, you can always hear what's on the other side, unless you actively tune it out. just, for me, there were never doors. it was always like this. every single feasible universe is out there, fighting for my attention, almost every waking moment." you recounted with a deep sort of mourning. five couldn't blame you, he supposed. you had been robbed of silence, of pure solitude, of privacy. his heart almost ached for you.

had you been born with the doors off their frames? he wanted to ask, he really wanted to ask, but it was probably going to be way too... private of a thing. personal. from what he could tell.

"and i thought wrangling that crowd of toddlers was bad. i can't imagine hearing everything they do, everywhere, constantly," he mused.

you cracked a smile. it had been a while since you were able to joke around with someone, even if that someone had interrogated you like a police investigator. "oh, it's the worst," you giggled, and he laughed along. "i mean, it's bad enough knowing what your brothers do into their socks, it's even worse to walk in on them over, like, over two thousand times."

"i've known you for a very short period of time, but something tells me that's the worst thing you've ever said."

for someone in a very persistent and terrible bout of pain, your laugh, and your smile, were incredibly bright. five couldn't really say that he was expecting this when first appearing in the umbre—ahem. in the sparrow academy building, but he wasn't exactly complaining. this could be nice. he really hoped it would be, anyway.

silence fell on you two for a while. the overbearing static was starting to edge back in now that you had nothing more to say. the pain was ebbing.

"... something's wrong." you sounded deadly serious, it was horrifying.

"s—sorry?" five felt like he had whiplash after such an extreme diversion from the topic.

you seemed to be fighting that urge to space out a whole lot more. this was important, you needed to stay on track, and yet your stress was doing exactly the opposite of tunnel vision. shit.

five noticed; and he kind of needed you to talk, as fast as possible, so reached out and pinched your neck, successfully getting you to tense and wake up, in some sense of the words. offense was replaced with gratitude in your eyes. "i don't know exactly what. no other universe has figured it out. but you aren't supposed to be here, this isn't your timeline, that's—a very big problem. it could potentially 'rip a hole in space and time.'" five muttered along with you, cussing and hanging his head.

"why didn't you say this first?" he hissed.

"i'm sorry!" you sounded very genuine and he felt rather bad. "i-i—the interrogation and then the pain and then the... getting along with you, i forgot." it was another world, some utterance of 'not normal yet' that brought the thought back to you.

your voice was cracking. you felt far worse than five could ever make you feel.

"... it's fine. it's fine."

"it very much isn't. you know that."

five knew it all too well. he groaned, pinched the bridge of his nose, and downed the rest of his coffee. "fantastic."

"i mean, it may be a problem we can solve." you shot him a smile, a tired and weak little thing, but it did comfort him a bit.

"the universe will really mind if seven dumbasses stick around?" his humor had soured, but it was still there. you felt very guilty, unable to look him in his eyes, shoulders slouched as if defeated in some great thing.

"she's a stickler for rules."

"hmph." he scowled a full-face scowl. "no retirement yet, i guess."

out of all the things you could ever have seen, heard, felt, and known, one thing seemed... important. emotionally, anyway. "if it's, uhm, any consolation... retirement did look good on you, by the way."

he couldn't help but smile a bit. somewhere out there was a world where you and five were friends well into his retirement, be that at his confusing age or his chronological age from 1989, where he was happily retired with no time-threatening anomalous issues to draw him out. even if he was bound to die in this timeline, there was some comfort in knowing many other timelines saw him content. "i'll take your word for it."

[msnihilist]

Person Who Has Never Watched the Reboot Decides to Liveblog Alien-X-Tinction

First scene and I already hate Max's voice. #NotMyGrandpa

idk what alternate universe this is yet, but I like 1) that Ben is sad :), and 2) that his Omnitrix looks like that??? It really sells the idea of a prototype 🥺

"resistance will only beget pain" — villain who is smart enough to know that Ben doesn't know what "beget" means

"you always try to interrupt" okay, ouch, I actually love that angst (I already know who the Alien X is and what he's been doing to alternate Bens (I'm only watching this because the Wiki page for the special was interesting to me), so this is lovely :3) Max always tries to save his grandson and he never succeeds </3

Side note: evil Celestialsapien is a cool idea, and I like that this one is taking a "hands on" approach. It's about the thrill of the hunt :) And loving making people suffer

"oh, no, not again" LMAO, the dimension-hopping Max sounds soooo mildly inconvenienced

WAIT, DID THE ALIEN X RIP OFF BEN'S ARM??? I can't tell what happened here?? Fuckin' kid's show censors 😭

Max's face when Ben hugs his grandpa…… I love suffering 🥺

"you'd think I'd be used to it all by now" coming from a man who lost his grandkids and tortures himself by watching it happen again and again in other timelines hurts so good 😭 😭 I also love that they let Max cry about it. It's a small thing and it only lasts a second, but in the Classic continuity, Ben only cried on screen TWICE, both when he was 10. Letting an aged man hurt like this without making a joke about it is good to see <3

Back in the Real Timeline, I guess, lmao. I love that Gwen is tied up and just looks so bored with the whole affair

GWEN'S VOICE?? #NOTMYGWEN (I like that Zombozo is voiced by Drakken, tho)

Hm. I kinda like this angle with Ben's frustration. He feels like he's not living up to his full potential as a hero because he always has Gwen and Max helping him. It's different from when Ben would get cocky in the OG, and I think it's an interesting point, too :p This blatantly isn't about being a hero, it's about the thrill, which is something that ten-year-old Ben consistently struggled with

Still hate reboot Heatblast, but whatever

I definitely don't like how the fights are animated? It feels... slow. And I get part of that is to build up suspense/show of Alien X's abilities, since this show is aimed at a younger audience who wouldn't be familiar with the Classic continuity, but still :/ I don't like the flat camera angles and the hits don't have a lot of weight to them

Love that Alien X is killing off Ben's, though — something Eon was always too pussy to do

I hate this art style, but I appreciate that the writers are trying

I love villains who are obsessed with Ben Killing him, hunting him down, whatever. Watching villains shove aside whatever or whoever gets in their way to pursue Ben with single-minded fervor always hits good.

This fight between Ben and Alien X, up until he loses the Omnitrix, is probably my favorite fight in the special. Alien X was at his coolest and Ben really gave it his all, no matter how badly he got beat in return.

"there's no omniversal road-side service that drops out of thin air" — man who has forgotten that this is Ben he's talking about

BRO, THEY'RE PLAYING THE ALIEN FORCE THEME SONG WHEN OLDER BEN STEPS OUT OF THE PORTAL 😭 Okay, even though AF had kind of a lame opening, I'll admit: that was pretty hype

Holy shit, wait, the reboot has been going on for five seasons and this Max STILL hasn't told his grandkids about the Plumbers??? I hate him, worst grandpa

LMAO, Maximillian calling Ben a stubborn brat <3 AF Ben looking away in embarrassment because he knows it's true (he literally JUST tried to walk off and go it alone for?? no reason, literally), I love them. They're a family in every dimension

I think it's cute that Gwen already likes teenage Ben <3

Alien X: "You're in the wrong dimension." Ben, who's relaxing nonchalantly waiting for his plan to pay off: "Is that why my keys don't work?"

I MISSED AF BEN SO MUCH, HE'S SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN 😭 HE LITERALLY TRANSFORMED JUST TO GET UP THERE AND HAVE A DRAMATIC ENTRANCE

AF BIG CHILL DESIGN + VOICE, MY BELOVED!!! They even kept Ben shouting out his transformation's names, nreulgneklge. That's some attention to detail that almost makes me forgive the art style <3 (almost)

"little me," omg, he's such a fuckin' dork

I love that when Bens get together, they literally just love each other, it's so so sweet <3

"I should rethink my prior mercy." "Your generosity will not go unappreciated… or unpunished." ngl, this guy is a sick villain

Okay, this made me love him. And Gwen's faith in him is sooo <3 Truly the best cousin of all time

"Are you okay?" "Better now that you're back, cuz." Ben and Gwen are so fucking cute in the reboot, I love them 😭 🥺

I love that Gwen 10 goes, "And, yes, we're [Gwens are] better" and then fucking picks Ripjaws for a fight in a rocky desert, sfbrygbrku. She's such a dumbass I do love her Ripjaws design, tho!! Love that they avoided the Omniverse problem of making the female aliens excessively feminized. ALSO OG HEATBLAST, MY LOVE

OV Ben ruffling younger Ben's hair 🥺🥺

AHAHA, OG Ben immediately assuming that this Gwen is also a magic user, pfft. Even in a dimension where they don't get along as well, he's got so much faith in his cousin <3

Gwen's little watch tech is like her UAF powers!!

Of course OG Ben would get pissy about someone picking the same alien as him 😭 He's so chronically ten years old

"But I'm not your Ben." "You're all my Ben." Okay, maybe this Max is actually the best one 😭 🥺

Jeez, that tragic backstory was pretty fucking brutal. Vilgax straight-up just vaporized Gwen and Max. I love the idea of an evil Ben who's lost everything, though. His Max and Gwen are dead, what more can they take away from him? Eon could never

LMAO, MAX JUST FORCIBLY ADOPTING EVIL BEN AT THE END. Ben is so unenthused, he's gonna get loved whether he wants to or not!!

Okay, just finished it. Final thoughts? It was really cute. Is it good enough to get me to watch the rest of the reboot? No. It's definitely not as hype as some of UAF/OV's high points, probably in part because I still can't get into the art style and also because the fight scenes just aren't as good.

It had pretty good pacing! I was surprised by that, I thought 45 minutes was gonna be too short, but it ended up feeling right. (Also, I'm upset to say that Max's voice grew on me. Gwen is on thin ice.)

You can tell that this was made with a lot of love, both for the characters and for Ben 10 as a whole. It really does feel like a love letter to the fandom, and for that, it was a good watch :)

Final score: 7/10, not NEARLY as bad as I was expecting, worth a rewatch <3

[waywardsunlight]

Second headcanon. This one got really long. Sorry not sorry.

Luz finding glyphs so easily while Belos took forever isn't because Monarch (King's dad) liked Luz or didn't like Belos.

It's because Luz actually likes the system, and Monarch has no power outside the In-Between.

Think about it:

Belos is a witch hunter who's been stuck in a world he hates, full of people he hates, and suffused by a system (magic) that he hates. He hates the Demon Realm so much that he spends the better part of 400 years plotting and enacting a genocide. That's dedication.

This guy would not want to go looking for magic, and he would most assuredly not enjoy using magic in any capacity. In Watching and Dreaming, he literally calls the Demon Realm "this perdition". You know, Hell.

Belos spent literal centuries becoming a mass murderer. This is not a sign of a happy person who likes where he is, and he's not going to devote his energy to figuring out a system he hates that much.

In contrast, Luz shows up and is so immediately enthralled that she asks to become a witch's apprentice the FIRST DAY she spends in the Boiling Isles. DAY 1.

This girl up and decides to drop her entire life back home to learn magic (from a wanted criminal no less!!), and we see her study it obsessively throughout the show. Luz thinks magic is a delight.

Luz doesn't need to be shown the glyphs because her passion for merely existing in the Demon Realm is more than enough to let her find the glyphs and figure out the magic system.

Additional evidence: in Any Sport in a Storm, Luz says part of the reason she loves the Good Witch Azura books is because of the "convoluted magic system"; in Thanks to Them in one of her video diary entries, she says she "can read and write Witch Tongue in five different dialects". This is a girl who loves magic as much as anyone can love a thing.

I also feel like it cheapens both Luz's and Belos' characters and arcs if Monarch was actively trying to help or hinder either of them. The show goes out of its way to shit on the Chosen One trope, and Luz getting active help from a god during the entire show would feel very Chosen One-y. Similarly, it's very in character for Belos to blame an external force (The Titan hiding glyphs from him) for Belos' personal failings (his inability to find glyphs) because Belos is a raging narcissist. Don't take that away from him!

Finally, we saw from Yesterday's Lie that the most you seem to be able to do from the In-Between is talk through reflections. If Monarch were able to do more than that, why would he not have? He's been dead for probably millions of years, because life had to evolve the ability to use magic while living on his body (Young Blood, Old Souls). There was plenty of time for him to try to do more if he were able to. He even says in Watching and Dreaming that he's "been stuck here for quite some time, but at least I can keep an eye on my child...". That doesn't sound like something you'd say if you had any influence over the physical world.

Clearly, yes, he could do more in that he gave Luz his powers and resurrected her, but that also killed him, so it was a single-use-only kind of move.

I think this covers it.

Yeah! I saw this art possibly from the show/cut materials of Philip chopping down plants to find the plant glyph (I haven't seen this in ages, I don't remember where it came from/ I can't verify it so I might guess it's fanart), where you realize that bc Philip's coming at this from a colonial approach and seeing everything as a threat to his way of life unless he can study it and Luz coming at this with awe and a love of a world she's in, it makes a lot of sense that it's easier for her to find glyphs.

I think it's the whole 'Slitherbeast doesn't attack unless you hurt it' thing, that's also true for the Selkidominus and the people of the Boiling Isles. They're all existing on the island and are welcoming to outsiders but when Philip starts chopping down plants and hurting people, the island and the people respond to that negatively and make it harder for him to find the glyphs.

[creature-wizard]

In which a fake ex-Illuminati programmer makes up some weird shit about cult programming

Hey folks! Have you heard terms like "jewel programming," "metal programming," or "color programming"? Did you hear about an evil cult that intentionally induces dissociative identity disorder in people in order to control them? Did you know that all of this traces back to woman who claimed to be a former member of a global Satanic conspiracy, whose story followed the template laid out by known frauds like Mike Warnke and whose claims about the Illuminati are just repackaged antisemitism?

Over here I discussed the first three chapters in an e-book that supposedly details the activities and methods of this cult. Now I'm moving on to chapter four, where she describes the supposed methods the Illuminati uses to begin the programming process.

Svali's obsession with the idea of early training gets even weirder. Now she's claiming that the Illuminati gives DID to unborn babies in the 7th-9th month of pregnancy:

Techniques used include: placing headphones on the mother's abdomen, and playing loud, discordant music (such as some modern classical pieces, or even Wagner's operas). Loud, heavy rock has also been used. Other methods include having the mother ingest quantities of bitter substances, to make the amniotic fluid bitter, or yelling at the fetus inside the womb. The mother's abdomen may be hit as well. Mild shock to the abdomen may be applied, especially when term is near, and may be used to cause premature labor, or ensure that the infant is born on a ceremonial holiday.

She claims that trainers look for signs of dissociative ability in newborn babies, and will subject the infant to various abuses to induce fragmentation. And like... y'know, maybe the kinds of abuses she describes might induce dissociation and DID, but let's be real - these are not guaranteed results. However, the kinds of abuses she describes would certainly give a lot of kids issues so severe that you have to ask yourself how the hell it could possibly be worth it.

But the thing is, Svali's comprehension of trauma and DID are cartoonishly pseudoscientific. She essentially sees them as a brutal, yet efficient means to an end. Because alters don't always share memories, then this is clearly a perfect means for a global satanic cult to keep itself hidden. There's simply no awareness of other trauma-related disorders or common co-morbidities with DID. The fact that severe trauma tends to damage's a child's ability to learn skills and retain information, and therefore undermines her claim that all these kids are groomed into various forms of hypercompetence, doesn't seem to occur to her.

For Svali, DID appears to be a plot device, nothing more.

In chapter five, Svali begins to describe color, metal, and jewel programming. Supposedly, colors are associated with different alters, while metals and gems are awarded upon certain achievements - for example:

Emerald will often come later (ages 12 to 15). This is considered very precious, and is linked to family loyalty, witchcraft, and spiritual achievement. Emeralds will often have a black cat, or "familiar" linked to them.

In chapter five, Svali claims that the Illuminati also uses brain wave programming, which entails "having a young child go into a deep trance state, where they then learn to dissociate into a certain brain wave pattern." Supposedly, trainers give children hypnotic drugs and monitor their brainwaves. This only makes sense if you, like Svali, think that DID is the perfect cover for a global satanic conspiracy. Otherwise, it looks like a bunch of overcomplicated nonsense in a quest for questionable results.

Different brainwave states (alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon, and phi/theta/omega) are associated with different skills/behaviors, which are mostly unrelated to what we actually know about brainwaves. For example, Svali claims that:

Delta: this is one of the more cognitive brain wave states, and will often be highly dissociated. It may also be the "ruling" or controlling state over the other brain wave systems.

In reality, delta waves are associated with deep sleep - the exact opposite of "cognitive."

In chapter seven, she claims that children undergo "military programming" from age three, and are gradually taught to kill actual people. And in this chapter, we can see another problem with Svali's claims emerge - she describes an Illuminati that is fatally self-defeating:

Exercises for older youth will include games where groups compete against each other, and the older teen leads, with the help of an adult advisor. Groups that win are rewarded, groups that lose are punished. The youth are taught to leave behind the weak, or slow members. Unfit members are shot or killed, and the youth leader learns to do these tasks.

Meanwhile, the actual military does not work like this, because this is a really fucking bad way to operate. You know what does work this way, though? Shitty fiction written by edgelords.

In chapter eight, Svali claims that some children are given CIA programming, where they basically learn spy shit, and all that photographic memory stuff. (Reminder that there is no evidence that photographic memory is even real, much less that it can be trained through the kinds of abusive methods Svali describes.)

And here we can see that Svali gets at least some of her ideas of what spies do from pop fiction:

An older youth, or adult, will also be taught not only how to lure a target into bed, but later how to kill them, if they are an assassination target, while they are asleep or relaxing after sexual relations.

And then it gets even weirder with:

Often, before an assignment for an assassination, the cult member will be indoctrinated with reasons why killing the victim is a service to humanity. They will be lied to and told that they are the head of a porno ring, a pedophile, or a brutal villain. This will engage the assassin's natural anger towards the person, and will motivate them, while helping to overcome their natural moral reluctance and guilt at killing a human being.

But... wait, Svali, aren't you contradicting yourself? Didn't you just claim that the Illuminati was pro-all-of-that shit? Didn't you claim that CSEM was "big business" in the Illuminati? Haven't you been claiming that brutality is just normal training methods here? Why would someone programmed to see these things as normal and good have a reaction like this?

And then she claims that there's governmental programming, where people are trained to get into government for the purpose of overthrowing it. She claims that they infiltrate and subvert both local and national government, and support whoever's sympathetic to the Illuminati.

Next she claims that there's scholarship programming, where children are taught ancient history, languages, and all the stuff a scary world dominating satanic cult would want to learn about, I guess.

With that done, I think this is a good time to end the post. In the next chapter, Svali's going to start talking about the alleged satanic purposes of one of Evangelical Christendom's favorite boogeymen: Hollywood movies.

[weirdstuffinthewoods]

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

I'm awful at starting niche blogs, so I'm trying to stick to what I know and love. Something I know very well and love very much is this box set right here that I'm still mad at myself for getting rid of (I bought the 3-book treasury it's just not the SAME)

If you're a millennial of any age, you were probably traumatized by one or more of these bad boys. Alvin Schwartz sat down in the late 70s (book 1 was published in 1981!) and said, "you know what? I'm gonna scare the pants off a bunch of kids and they'll thank me for it later." And you know what? I kinda do.

I've spent a lot of time trying to find the root of my horror obsession, and I thought it was seeing the 1990 made-for-TV version of IT at a sleepover in 3rd grade, which resulted in two traumatic years of night terrors, calmed only by...reading the book it was based on? And then all of Stephen King's other works that were definitely not appropriate for a barely 9-10 year old? (For years, I'd skip the adulthood sections of IT when I read it because I found them so boring, so I had a half-finished story in my mind. Go figure.) But that wasn't it. I thought maybe it was finding the Informania: Ghosts and Informania: Vampires books at the Scholastic Book Fair and poring over them obsessively for years (more on this at a later date) but nope.

It was Scary Stories, Alvin Schwartz, and Stephen Gammell.

If you want some of the story surrounding these books, I recommend the Prime/Freevee documentary "Scary Stories". I remember none of it, but that's the ADHD and I can't help it.

From a quick Wikipedia search (they have never steered me wrong and this is a for-fun blog y'all), it looks like Alvin Schwartz is a folklore dude, which I aspire to be. He published multiple other kids' books of folklore aside from the Scary Stories trilogy, including A Twister of Twists, A Tangler of Tongues, but these were illustrated by a dude named Glen Rounds and I mean look:

A little weird, but not nightmare-inducing by any means. Although the amount of hair is concerning. American folklore gets lost in the shuffle a lot so it's cool for kids to see it. Then, a bit before 1981, he meets this fuckin' guy:

Who yes appears harmless but single-handedly molded me as a person with just some watercolor and pencil. Without his illustrations, Scary Stories wouldn't have the legacy they do today. Proof? The books were rereleased in 2011 with different illustrations. From the guy who illustrated the Series of Unfortunate Events books (Brett Helquist). I'm sure those were fine but like come on.

as compared to

Which one is a kid (ie me) going to cover with one hand while desperately trying to read the other page?

Stephen Gammell has a decades-long career which is briefly highlighted in this Bloody Disgusting article, excitingly enough. Before Scary Stories, he actually did another scary book series for kids which has some unsettling illustrations

and he did some historical illustrations for stuff like Thunder at Gettysburg and Terrible Things: An Allegory of the Holocaust which no I will not be looking up because I need to sleep tonight.

The article also goes on to mention how amazing Schwartz's research abilities were considering none of these stories were original- they were just collected from around the US and the world and compiled into a (not kid-friendly, no, but) kid-interesting version. There were also audiobooks (books on cassette? I guess?) for at least one of them so I assume all three, and I distinctly remember (I'll point to the exact stories later):

sitting:

-in broad daylight

-at the reading table in my classroom, probably 3rd grade too

-headphones on, volume up

-sweating absolute buckets because I was listening to this baby which ETSY SOMEHOW HAD

ARE YOU JOKING ETSY??? I'm okay though I don't need the nightmares back.

George S. Irving deserved every penny he got for this work and a whole lot more because that man scared the shit out of me. Also found out as I was reading his Wikipedia article that he played Heat Miser in The Year Without A Santa Claus. Well. The more you know, I guess.

Anyway, going forward, I'm going to go in depth on some of my favorites, and hopefully you come with! Send me questions or suggestions on stuff you want me to talk about or look at :)

Also yes I've seen the movie no I will not talk about it here but maybe later because it's been awhile since I saw it

[bandomgay]

hi, can you tell us a bit about the superhero au you mentioned in the tags? is miles in it? (you don't have to, no pressure! just curious :)

YIPPIE I'm gonna explode thank u for asking ERMMMM well

Okay so it's a milex fic

Miles is a hero/vigilante he's known pretty much everywhere but like when kinda ass at it not in bad guy type of way he's just genuinely always getting hurt but he's always sacrificing himself to save others and his power is pretty much if you know black bolt from marvel it's that his scream/voice is deadly and his can manipulate sound waves as well which includes his own voice cool things like making his voice only show up in certain frequencies so certain people or radio stations can only hear it on tune into it also debating letting him be able to do things like banshee from the x men , using to be able to fly even and he looks like jumpsuit coup de grace era and his suit looks like the jumpsuit but of course more superhero practical it keeps that dark blue with the white/pink lines with the makeup to! Like a mask! those hand wraps he had in that fitness video

, miles also has a team which is the mk band as you know Victoria (speedster) , Dom(mind reader, telepath) and Nathan (super strength)

(they r so cute....)

And Alex now I'm still very conflicted on making Alex humbug era because I don't know how I feel about that age difference even though their both adults I know? But however in my Alex does look exactly like humbug Alex maybe a more grown up version idk use ur imagination here

HFHGHGHF but he doesn't just look like humbug Alex cause he's a pretty princess it's actually because of humbug eras themes of being psychedelic,angsty and shrouded in mystery which is very much this Alex so now to the part u probably wanna hear about his power Alex is basically on his jean grey shit rn...like give that boy an Aspirin PLEASE lmao he's telepathic and telekinetic/psychokinetic and it's made him reclusive but when he begins to hear miles voice for months on end he kinda gets a little obsessed with him he's linked to him and he knows fuck all of how to deal with his powers so he's just always spying on him he feels bad about it but he can't really stop it, miles is unaware of this though he is in pursuit of other powered beings to help out with what his team mate Dom says might be an enemy looming over the earth he finds Alex out , there's a difference between Dom and Alex powers though where Dom is purely mind linking and mind reading can hyperfocus into feelings and such Alex' is much more abstract, psychedelic and possibly dangerous like he can't tell whether his dreams are dreams or these things are really happening to people ,questioning wether he's ever hurt someone and why does miles want or even need him and this looming pressure increases Alex' abilities for the worst making him unstable but it seems miles is the only one that can quell him...it does it crazier but like I won't spill it I ever like decide to post it...

I'm still developing the rest of the monkeys but a certain post may have just helped alleviate that block of what I want the rest of the monkeys powers to be because I've brainstormed some Matt scenes but the rest are yet to come also I'm thinking pyro powers Matt , earth/nature oriented powers Nick and water powers jamie , though I had something accuracy focused (like bullseye from marvel or Diego from the umbrella academy) still in mind for either Matt or Jamie idk...yet (Jamie throwing knives...sorry I didn't mean to MOAN like that...)

ERM here's a little drabble/scene as a bonus

[bogosbintedthealien]

Why Did I Have To Reincarnate As The Yandere Capture Target!?

Okay, I have this story made up 2 years ago and it never really went anywhere. I guess I’ve been having a bit of a crisis when it comes to creativity for the last 2 years.

Anyway I kept going back and forth so fucking much on this wip if I was gonna scarp it or not. I don't like the gen story idea anymore but I REALLY love how I outlined the childhood arc so I though I might as well dump that shit here and be done w/ this damn thing. Not gonna bother saving the basic outline plot or save the first two chapters that were actually posted nor the wip of ch3 & 4.

:CHARACTER INFO: 

He’s the ‘yandere’ one. Anyway MC is the typical ‘normal guy’, college age maybe. Has a younger sister in HS. They’re both otakus or something. She got him into otome games. (He was already into romance novels so it was easy for him to get into them.) Develops malusdomesticaphobia after death. Forever internally screaming. Unsure how to act most of the time so he just stands behind powerful/influential ppl. 

OG yandere was abused or had bad stuff happen to him. Gave him a twisted view of things. Outwardly appears very docile and soft but when the Protag shows him kindness and blah blah he quickly becomes obsessed bc it’s been a long time since someone has/no one really treats him like that/like they’re equals. Uses his rep as a wall flower weakling to get his way and take out ppl (like will pit capture targets against each other so he can have Protag all to himself.)

There is a prince character. He’s the 2nd prince. I like the idea of him being the younger one or the less important one. Maybe that can even cause more plot. Yes MC has the favor of the prince, but this is the 2nd prince and is not favored by his father, the king. 

The protag girl who’s just a little doll. A bby who needs to be protected. A smile worth fighting for. For wars to break out and ppl to—you get the point. Stereotypical yes, but you need to keep in mind she’s a blank slate, so this is what it defaults on based off of marketing. Daughter of a Baron. Looks plain but still very cute w/ doe eyes.

The villainess is the second child to a powerful noble family (Marquess) and younger sister to one of the possible capture targets. Family sees her as a tool, not a person outside of the brother. Puts on a strong front that can only be seen through by the brother. 

The villainess’s older brother is the only person in her family who treats them with genuine affection as they are a siscon. The older brother type character. Charismatic but laid back. 

Plot twist due to MC’s meddling: was not aware of the abuse sister suffered due to being away at academy with the crown prince, simply thought it was tough love. 

A cute short boy character. Probably has the plot twist of being a little shit. Like, maybe he hates women but pretends to be a ladies man. Or he has a group of boys following him that do his bidding and he bullies ppl w/ them. MC meets him early on and leaves a powerful impression on him. So later in the timeskip this character is still the same, more or less; but has that added layer of following the MC around to try and get his attention. Not really a crush, but that weird anime admiration thing. 

Smart nerd character. He can be the commoner who gets into the school via smarts and/or powerful magic ability. He’s the one standoffish character who stays quiet. Turns out he harbors a haten of aristocats and is planning to summon some sealed monster under the school or the city near the school. He has the surprising routes where he kinda corners the Protag to help with this stuff. This is the MC's biggest concern bc he knows this guy is planning to harm a lot of people and doesn’t really know how to find him ‘cuz he’s a commoner from a big city.

:OUTLINE:

Bio dad and uncle are twins. Dad is the younger twin. Is kidnapped when 4-5 and kidnappers demand ransom. During that time commoners mob the place and kill everyone. (Turns out some of the butlers and/or maids are apart of the slave trade and the ppl assumed everyone in the house was associated with it as well.) Uncle rescues him and adopts him but doesn’t tell his wife or anyone that this is his nephew, not his bastard son. Claims he is that bc during the period between his brother’s easter being ransacked to finding him. It’s revealed a chef of his brother’s house escaped but was later found and lynched by the ppl.

The wife is angered by the child and completely ignores him and in turn so does her servants (which are half of the workers) The staff loyal to the Uncle just do the bare minimum for him. This is about a 5-6 month period. He is barely taken care of unless his uncle was around (Uncle’s servants and very fond of their master so they’re so shocked by this ‘bastard child’ that appeared out of nowhere, they think his mother must’ve been a provocative whore or smth bc the Uncle is so nice and caring about his family.)

This is where he learns how to appeal and get sympathy from staff/commoners. Bc he can’t take it anymore after a few months and starts begging for things or to be taken care of. A few of the Aunt’s staff pity him a little and throw him a bone while looking the other way, while the Uncle’s staff will act a little nicer and give him some extra stuff. (During this time he doesn’t really interact with his cousins [two boys, one girl] bc the staff aways rush them away from him since the mother forbids him from interacting with her kids.)

Around this time the Aunt blows up on the Uncle about this and the Uncle breaks under pressure and tells her the truth. She had mixed feelings about this. After this she starts acknowledging him but only takes care of him on the sake of her duty.

She ‘warms’ up to him when she overhears him having an intelligent conversation with the staff or they talk about a concept too advanced for his age. OR he reads some complex book she or her husband left out.

She’s shocked bc she just assumed him to be a country bumpkin, but realizes he knows how to read and write and is a genius for his age. So she takes advantage of this. Bc of the fact word gets out her husband cheated on her and has taken in his bastard child, her reputation has taken a hit in the social circles and there has been some nasty gossip about her being spread as a result. So she has lost face bc of him and takes her anger out on him by ignoring him and treating him coldly. So she turns this around by giving him a chance. Dumps a bunch of classes on him and gives him high expectations to live up to.

And for the most part he does, and he gets treated nicer as a result. She gets impressed, but he still walks on eggshells bc he’ll get punished for things his cousins won’t. And in general held to a higher standard.

She takes advantage of this by treating him like a son when out in public and receiving all these compliments about how well mannered and obedient he is, how smart, blah blah. So ppl are like, oh she must be a good teacher, he’s so well taught. And ppl say things like how generous and nice she is to take in her husband's bastard son of unknown origins like he was her own and blah blah. Which makes up for the lost rep she got before when he initially came to the house. This turns into a thing of her flaunting him and he’s just a prop for her. He realizes this but doesn’t do anything about it bc this is a good exchange for him. She gets to use him to boost her image and raise her rep in social circles and he gets a better disposition in the house and gets treated much better. He’s allowed to interact with his cousins now.

Eventually she gets invited by a lady who lives in the royal castle/is allowed access there who’s a very high ranking lady who she’s friends with. She’s like ‘hey, come to the castle, bring ALL of your children, even that one.’ For like playdates with her kids (also wants to see her friend’s kids). So Aunt brings all of them there and this is how the MC meets the 2nd prince.

The 2nd prince gets along well with his older brother, but when he hits 15, he gets sent away for more proper education since he’s the heir to the throne. So he’s sad his brother isn’t around anymore and that they’re no one to play with him. His sister’s an infant so the staff are like ‘prince plz, you can’t play w her she’s too little’. He wants to play like swords or chess but a baby can’t do that. He moops around in the castle and meets the MC.

Now the MC isn’t playing with the other children bc when his cousins tried to have him included in games with the other kids in the castle, those kids didn’t want to play with him bc of what their parents told them. (after a couple of times) This keeps happening that his cousins hesitate to add him in and eventually just tell him they can’t bc the kids of higher families didn’t want him there and even at this age they know they can’t do anything about that. (His cousins get along with him at this point and like but and are sad they can’t include him but the situation calls for it and they can’t do anything about it.) So he’s just moping and talking to some of the staff and bonding with them.

The prince isn’t playing with the other kids bc even as a kid he can tell most noble children are being fake nice to him and are just wanting to shake hands. He doesn’t know why they’re doing this, but he can’t tell they are trying real hard to be chummy with him and it’s forced. (you know, how like little kids can even tell when an adult is being fake nice?)

When he meets the MC, the MC doesn’t know that this is the prince bc so many noble children have blond hair. (It’s common in this place, for nobles at least.) So to him, he’s just another blond, lilac eyed boy. The princes ends up liking him bc he’s A-quiet and reserved B-smart and likes playing chess or smth C-doesn't have that fake nicety that the other children give off & isn’t super eager to please him. So he’s like ‘oh, you’re like a normal person, let's play.’ That how they initially become friends and bond and like on his 6th visit with the prince, he either A-has a patch over his check and when MC asks about it the prince tells him what happened and it makes the way the in-game prince got his cheek scar and it hits the MC then who he’s talking too. (It was never said in the game how old he got the scar, only how.)

OR B-MC is called into a waiting room by some workers and leads him into a room with guards on standby. He’s wondering just who the heck his buddy is the kid of to get this treatment. As he sits across from him he realizes the prince has a bandage over his ear. When he asks what happened, the prince whines about almost being assassinated and the tip of his ears was cut off in the struggle. It’s then the MC realizes this is the prince bc he has the tip of his left/right ear cut off and hides his ears with his hair bc of it. The guards in and out of the room is bc his parents are on high alarm rn and they have to play in a closed room. It’s only him and MC bc the prince whined and wanted his ‘rabbit friend’ to play with. (MC is like, ‘oh lucky me, I managed to befriend the prince w/o knowing/trying’.)

Anyway, around this point the Aunt just straight up says, ‘I do not love you, but I do respect you.’ And the MC just comes to terms with this bc he just realizes that she’s just never going to be that person for him. And he’s like ‘That’s okay.’ He gets along very well w/ his Uncle and cousins and it feels like a family again to him. He just has a ‘you scratch my back, I scratch yours’ relationship. He doesn’t love her, but understands her. (He is surprised when he gets older like, he knows before his 11 birthday, he’s supposed to be nearly killed by something his Aunt pulled, it’s revealed she did it and was taken away, putting the Yandere strains on the rest of the manor. Alas that never comes to pass and this happens instead, surprising him. Making him realize she’s being very honest, and in her own way, this is the kindest she’ll ever be to him.)

As for the cousins, they’re just innocent little kids, they just think he’s their half brother and accept him. The girl is the youngest, she’s the spoiled little princess bc she’s the only girl and the youngest so she’s mommy’s favorite. The middle child is a boy and the closest to the MC. He’s the quieter, shyer one who's nerdier. Him and the MC are gonna have the same book series as their fav, some type of mystery novels for kids. They eagerly await every release and bond over that. The oldest is going to be the more playful, energetic, and wants to fight sword type of boy. They all like MC and he loves them like cousins and thinks of them as such.

His Uncle is a sweet family man or at the very least loves his family. He really loved his brother and when he inherited the title, he made sure to pull strings to get his younger brother a title and some land. The Father got the title of baron bc of him. Instead of becoming a knight or butler to another noble house. He’s crestfallen when his brother and sister-in-law dies so when he finds out his nephew is still alive, he’s overjoyed and loves him. (As a strange way of grieving.)

Around 12-13ish his Uncle and Aunt are like ‘hey we got new information about your real parents. We’re trying to keep this under wraps but, there are a trusted few who know the truth as well.’ The MC already knows what they mean bc of the game. So before they tell him it or the whole truth, smth happens and his new family dies.

At this point, he’s already good friends with the prince. Their relationship is him being a spineless pale and the prince treating him like a bunny. Like, not really acknowledging his agency. Kinda brushing him aside like a pet and dragging him to things w/o considering his feelings a lot. As far as the prince is concerned, they're close. The MC is just there bc being friends with the prince gives him a shield and ways to get more connections. So he can’t really do anything about this sort of treatment he gets. The prince isn’t being malicious just that he’s been given everything he wants so he doesn’t stop to think about the other party.

So when MC’s 3rd family is wiped out, the prince goes up to his parents and is like, ‘hey can you do smth about my friend? He’s an orphan again, I don’t want him to get sent to the Church, I’ll never see him again!’ The king and queen are like ‘ok’ and that’s how the MC gets into the house of the Villainess and Siscon capture target. Their parents are like MC’s Aunt but way worse. So in the OG game they got their daughter engaged to the 2nd prince by orchestrating an accident to happen while she was somewhere with the prince. She ends up w/ a few inch long cut on her forearm, the family uses that as leverage for them to get engaged since their daughter is ‘unmarriageable’ now. So they see him as an opportunity to get more favors from the crown. Not only are they initially reimbursed for taking him in but… So, basically they bring him to a business party, and him not knowing who these ppl are talk to some ppl are when it is revealed that he’s who he is, the couple are repulsed by the family sponsoring a bastard of unknown origins. So they cut off business ties with them. They use this as a way to complain to the crown that taking him in causes them to lose on a partnership that went back generations. (This business partner is in on this bc they get like, idk exclusive rights to some mines for whatever. But they still do business through a shell company.) And that's how they worm their way in to wed off their daughter. MC is completely caught off guard with this when he thought he was already on guard. This just further convinces him not to try and make connections here. Being outside is his solace.

The last thing to note is that the prince only starts respecting him and treating the MC more like a proper friend when they're a little older (like, about to go into the academy age). The MC sticks up for himself and grows a spine which surprised the prince bc up until this point he had always been obedient, timid, and mild. The pushback he gets from it kinda bitchslaps him in the face and he is like ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t- I apologize for that. Blah blah blah.’ He doesn’t do a complete 180* right then and there. But it kinda wakes him up a little bit. Like ‘Oh, I’ve been treating you like you’re my dog and you’re not. You’re more important to me than that. I don’t want to lose you. I’m sorry about that, I’ll change my behavior towards you.’ This is when their friendship turns into a bromance. He treats the MC more like an equal, with respect.

The main reason why I stopped myself from scaping this many times before is bc I really ended up liking how I characterized the aunt.

Anyway, a few details I though I should throw in here. I had planned for the ppl crushing on MC as the heroine, villainess, commoner guy, and npc/mob #1 (male) & 2 (female).

The npc/mob friends where gonna be his respite from the colorful cast of main characters. I would've written it where you couldn't tell who end game was for awhile bc he had soft moments w/ all of them.

Expect villainess who he see as a sister even tho she don't. Her and Heroine would later lost interest in MC and kiss each other instead. (fluffy sapphics!!!).

He'd get commoner guy to back down eventually or whatever and it was a really question of which mob friend he'd end up w/. Male friend was the answer!

[tellywoodtrash]

hi TT! can I ask you for some advice? I'm a teenager who is really insecure about how i look. i don't really think there's anything wrong with my appearance per se, but everyone around me does. my dad keeps recommending me fairness creams (even though he is dark skinned himself) and my mom keeps telling me to lose weight (even though she is fat too). i have been dealing with some health issues for the past couple years that have led to a LOT of weight gain. i now have stretch marks all over my body and my friends always comment on it and make fun of me for them. it makes me wanna never show even an inch of skin again. what do I do?

Hello love,

First of all, big hugs. 🤗🤗🤗 People (who are supposed to love you regardless of how you look) are being shitty to you and you absolutely do not deserve that crap. I'm here to tell you they're wrong. You are good the way you have been, are right now, and however you will be in the future.

i don't really think there's anything wrong with my appearance per se, but everyone around me does.

I'm glad you have accepted the way you look. You realise that the problem is with the people around you. Good. That's a massive step 1 already sorted. Because so often, we start believing what people tell us, and it becomes the "truth", when it's absolutely not.

Tbh, I'm a rudeass bitch and I'd let off verbal zingers at everyone, including parents. idgaf about politeness when someone's coming for me like that. But perhaps you're a much better person than me, lol. So maybe when your dad tries to push fairness creams on you, you just reply with a curt but polite "No, thank you!" and end the conversation right there. Walk away. With your mom and the weight loss, ask her if she's willing to take on a "get healthy plan" with you, where you both eat better and exercise TOGETHER. If she's unwilling, then ask her why she has expectations of you that she's not willing to subscribe to personally. Again, walk away. Don't let them think they can just say these things to you and you'll sit and listen like a good bachcha. And boy oh boy, your friends. To them, I say be straight up rude. Like, call them out. Say "What makes you think you can talk to me like this about my body? Why are you so obsessed with the way I look? How does this affect your life in any way????" coz literallyyyyyy; friendship doesn't mean a free pass to talk any shit, that too such superficial garbage. Everyone's body has something or the other wrong with it. EVERYONE. (Another thing almost everyone has???? Stretch marks. I've had them since fucking puberty, still do in my 30s. They're as much a natural part of your body as body hair.) That is just the nature of the flesh prison we reside in. This is just a pile of fucking electrified meat that holds our brain and soul, which is what really matter. To have someone who calls themselves a FRIEND talk to you unkindly like this should make them ashamed, and honestly, make you reconsider if you even wanna be friends with that person if this is how they choose to behave.

This is the outside stuff. Now for the inside stuff - the internal work you do. First, make sure you watch and subscribe to media of people who look like you, and make you feel "hey, they look just like me and they're so pretty, so that means *I'm* beautiful they way i am too!" I'm telling you as someone who grew up in the pre-social media age; I had zero representation of ppl with my body shape/size and hair texture. It wrecked my self esteem. I spent hours poring over magazines and looking at airbrushed models thinking "why don't i look like that too????" even though I KNEW they were digitally altered images. It just got into my head SO MUCH. One good thing about social media being in the hands of EVERYONE is the ability to see such a range of people from all over the world, looking amazing in their own ways. Follow a diverse looking set of people and see the beauty in them, and thus yourself. Second, do some minor work to alleviate your health issues if you can. Be regular with your meds if you take any, do some daily movement to the extent you can, eat mostly healthy and stay hydrated well, etc. It won't change the way you LOOK, but it will make you FEEL better about your body, and how you are doing your part in taking care of it like it needs. Third, only if you choose to, feel free to beautify the flesh prison as you see fit. Wear whatever you like. Colour your hair. Get a piercing or tattoo. (Obv. wait till you're a legal adult!!!!!! Also, never get names of people or something that is just a ~~phase or trend you're into at the time. Aesthetics come and go. Body modifications like these are forever. Choose wisely. Very very prudently.) Do things that make you feel like "this is MY BODY, and *I* GET TO CHOOSE what kind of pretty it is". Take agency and make your choices and be proud in them, and fuck literally everyone else's opinion. They're LOOKS. The least interesting thing about you. They don't matter in the larger scheme of things, and they'll keep changing as you go through life. Just do whatever makes you feel good to be in this body at the time!!!!!!!!

I love you lots baby sibling. 👩🏽‍🧒🏾👩🏽‍🧒🏾👩🏽‍🧒🏾💗💗💗💗 I am threatening everyone shitty around you with angry laser eyes as I protectively wrap an arm around you.

[the-missann]

I really love being on Everskies, so I wanted to share a few of the outfits I made. I have back stories on a few of them, so I'll put them in order of "it's just cute to me uwu" to "I designed a character I created 🗿" (also, it's earliest to most recent)

I was playing around with the face on this one and eventually made this. I had been a little obsessed with the yandere troupe at that point. So she does have the vibe of "I found you love~<3"

Randomly made, but after I made it I wanted to come up with some kind of Renaissance, medival ages, 1800 horror story or something.

I need to get an idea for this 😩

This one is more or less the same as the first one, but more like the story of the smiling woman. It was just kind of cute and uncanny.

From various:

This is a beautiful Mama who's been in my head since I was a kid. I finally get to see her made beautifully and not drawn by me 🤡

Her name is Mana and she's the Queen of the Clouds and Qydians (my made up species). Also, also, I really envisioned her to be wearing a sweater, it just seemed cozy to hug her and we all know how soft a good cardigan is.

From Manifested Malevolence:

This woman right here has no name, but has her entire plot developed 🗿. I suck ass at making names so if you enjoyed the post, drop a name for... Pretty much all of them lol.

She's a villain I have in this story where my MC (which is almost always a girl named Cassie) can manifest her thoughts into reality. Not like she can conjure an object, but if she thinks something will happen it manifests and actually happens. If I explain who she is exactly it'll spoil her role in the story, so I'll leave it there.

She uses her good looks to trick men and the rest is up to her abilities.

The 2nd image is how she appears when manifesting. I was just playing around one day and created the prettiest villain I've ever thought of.

Luck was on my side.

This little cutie patootie is another part of the story little miss no name before her is from. Ig this is a spoiler, but this happens within the first 4 chapters, so it's not really a spoiler. No one's gonna ever read your shit so calm down.

Anyways, she is a manifested being named Mika (who is also based on a stuffed rabbit I had as a kid with the same name). She shows up and explains to Cassie what her ability is and her main goal is to help her however she needs it.

Mika is suppose to be very childish and gives me the egirl, overly (and borderline cringey) cute girl, but I can never see my baby as cringe 💞

From normalities:

I was in the middle of writing a story when I thought of this random spin off idea. So, I made her and then wrote it.

Essentially, this Cassie is a super shy girl with a popular boyfriend. While he's at a party, his friends force ask him to get something they've forgotten. He's upset, but agrees to get it, but he wants some company while he goes to get it and she (up there) offers to get it for him since she's closer.

Going to the dorm she needs to, she walks in on some gathering in the room and everyone thinks she's a huge weirdo for looking so scared just walking into a room. She gets what her bf needed and goes to give it to him. She was so anxious by her encounter at the dorm that she ends up looking like she's about to cry and her bf decides to ditch his friends to comfort her 😀

The end.

Thanks for Reading~🍂

[three--rings]

I posted 4,302 times in 2022

That's 545 more posts than 2021!

519 posts created (12%)

3,783 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thebookewyrme

@summerstede

@chocolatepot

@havealittlebitofeverything

@chubsthehamster

I tagged 4,146 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#ofmd - 1,049 posts

#our flag means death - 907 posts

#blackbonnet - 441 posts

#kinnporsche - 222 posts

#the sandman - 136 posts

#dracula - 130 posts

#word of honor - 129 posts

#beyond evil - 127 posts

#shl - 125 posts

#山河令 - 116 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#but literally i thought one of the ideas of a parliamentary system was the ability to vote parties out when they fuck your entire country up

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

For all those newly obsessed by Johnathan Harker’s Worst Business Trip Ever, I have to tell you about my favorite piece of published Dracula fanfic, The Dracula Tape by Fred Saberhagen. 

The premise is that Dracula accosts some folks in the 1970s in order to give His side of the story and it’s recorded on a tape deck. 

It’s hilarious though, because it’s basically like “Look, Johnathan Harker had No Idea what was going on.  He didn’t even speak the language, but somehow he claims to know what people were saying to him?  Cause he knows a few German words?”  And like “look I was just an innocent vampire trying to buy some property and he jumped to All Kinds of conclusions, really.”

And like it makes...a lot of good points about the novel, actually.  (Like it wasn’t ME that killed Lucy, maybe it was those experimental blood transfusions that didn’t pay any attention to BLOOD TYPE, VAN HELSING.)

So yeah, highly recommend it after you’ve read the original. 

2,090 notes - Posted May 6, 2022

#4

You know one thing that occurred to me watching Sandman so far is that someone out there is going to watch this show and be like “ugh why did they have to put so much gay shit in it, this is just typical of 21st century woke politics cluttering up everything” and not realizing this is just how the comic was in the 19fucking80s.

There’s a reason us baby queers attached so hard to it when we were in our teens, okay?

3,181 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#3

Because I just read a few AO3 censorship related posts in a row...

I’m not sure antis and people who want to remove certain things from AO3, like any content with anyone under 18, understand WHY those of us who are Of A Certain Age, aka the people who created AO3, fight so hard on this stuff.

Like I don’t think they understand that we have LITERALLY SEEN THIS BEFORE.  People spoke up before about “child porn” aka anything involving any character under 18, or even stuff with aged up characters like an adult Harry Potter, but people assume Harry Potter is always 12 or whatever. 

And when those complaints were made ALL adult content was wiped.  FFN suddenly wouldn’t host ANY explicit fics.  No matter how healthy, how fluffy, how consensual and adult and whatever.  Just Nope.  Things were wiped from existence.  LJ randomly wiped entire blogs for being reported, banned users based on the say of Conservative Christians who shouted pedophile at the gays.

What happens when people try to remove objectionable material is that it ends with having no home for ANY explicit material.  It’s happened again on social media under SESTA and FOSTA in the name of preventing sex trafficking.  In the name of keeping smut out of the Apple store. 

Archive of Our Own was founded to be a home for content that wouldn’t be hosted elsewhere.  Where you could put something and not fear its deletion the first time someone happened upon it and reported you for whatever reason.  Where no one is going to judge whether your fic meets some subjective standard of purity, so long as it’s tagged appropriately and is legal content in the US (which all written fiction is.)

We watched so many communities destroyed, websites erased, content lost and then a new generation comes along and is like “hey let’s do this again” and we’re like NO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU INSANE?

They’re never going to accept your gay porn about other people’s fictional characters just because you got rid of that “icky” stuff you don’t like.  You’ll still be a freak for it.  You cannot respectability politics your way out of your shame and embarrassment at being associated with something others see as dirty.  You’re going to have to grow up and just accept it.

5,135 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

#2

Okay, Gen Z, younger millennials, please tell me, are you aware of what the title Ms. means? And how to pronounce it?

Because I just listened to several young 20-somethings pronounce it Miss and talk about how it means you're not married. And...I'm feeling weird about it, considering that's the title I use.

(It means my marital status is none of your business. I use it because I'm married but I kept my maiden name so I'm not Mrs. anyone.)

18,990 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You know, watching Goncharov entirely through the medium of tumblr posts shared by people I follow isn’t significantly different from how I experience a lot of media these days.

Goncharov, House of the Dragon, equally real to me.

21,706 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[nfumbewalk]

Psychic Stuff & Memories

Biffy's Place.

Sorry - I apologize in advance. This post could come off as bragging but I'm not. I'm actually really freaked out. I've mentioned before that an old ex-friend of mine told me more than 20 years ago that psychic ability can manifest and get very strong with age. Well, It freaking has, by like 10,000%!! Holy balls. Thought I had it young. Not by a long shot of what I've got now. And it's practically breathless to deal with.

In my shower last night, I heard my grandpa Ben's voice. Weird? I told him it wasn't a proper time to talk. He understood and said he'd come back. It's not just that. I'm seeing ppl in my regular mirror, not my scrying mirror! My channeling is getting beyond awesome. It's weird, comforting, and oddly satisfying.

Most notably, I mentioned a bit back that my old padrino/Tata (godfather) in Palo has contacted me via channeling to tell me he died and that he'd help me with some spiritual things. He said that he likes Muerteria. And that I'm doing very well. Also, he said he was sorry he ignored me after I disrespected him. He said he shouldn't have done that and he didn't know how serious my depression was.

Antonio means a lot to me. He got me in touch with my power. He opened up my abilities by believing in me and showing me his rich Cuban culture. First, he taught me how to build and attend a boveda. The word boveda is Spanish for vault or tomb. It is where one attends to their ancestors. It's very similar to the photos of Rodolfo's altar that I post here. Really though, it only looks similar. The intentions are very different. He started with a bit of Santeria. He was also an initiated Santero. I never asked his rank because I knew nothing about African Traditional Religions at the time.

He introduced Palo easily but with a trickle. Still, my time with him was very short. He told me not to read Palo books in English and to learn Spanish for these paths. Right he was. Most English Palo books are crap. Actually, Montenegro has a few useful ones. If your kinda in Palo, you know what he's purposely leaving out or using slang for. Lol! Sorry. Palo memories. I miss Antonio. And my two Tata's named Angel.

I'm not meant for that religion. Too many clashes. Somehow I have fewer clashes with Christianity. Odd. Got sort of off topic. I bet if I tear my entire closet apart (I've tried) I'll find that damn Siete Rayos collare! That's my mpungo Papa. Um...father deity in Palo. Or Shango in Osha-Ifa, Orisha. I've been obsessing over that collare for years! Angel No. 1 made it for me & left the menga (blood) on it! Didn't clean off the rooster blood. Or didn't wash it well with the chamba. Oh well. If I ever find it, I'll post a pic of me wearing it.

Back to psychic shit! 😊 When this stuff happens, its like Reveille sounding off in my brain constantly! I know a lot of soldiers don't miss that. Lol! I certainly don't like it either. I mean, yeah - its cool. Its spooky & weird. But it can get annoying. I used to love Ouija boards. Not anymore. The muertos come out for sure around me. Like Antonio said: "You are like a moth to the flame with muertos." Yup, I am nowadays! The graveyard always gets busy when I arrive. 💀

Especially when I do Tributas for Santa Muerte. Ha!

M.M. 💖💀💖

[foreverydinger]

Sammy's Swynwrimo: SWYNRP Character Wishlist

Disclaimer 1: As always I will not be including fcs because I certainly do not have any skill with fcs! I leave that to the PROFESSIONALS (like Mak)! Disclaimer 2: These haven't changed much over the years so I'm sorry! lol

Characters I Wanna See People Write Because I Wanna Interact With Them So Bad Pretty Pretty Please:

Barley Lightfoot: Listen, usually I'd put him in the list of characters I want to play because I've been tempted to pick up Barley for literal years but I feel like I probably shouldn't pick up Barley with Tony and Ian being solidified as soulmates so I'm begging pleading on my KNEES for one of you to get him so I can throw your future brother-in-law at them and Ian's mentor who I've been headcanoning treats BARLEY like a psuedo-mentor in the Magick History Department AND Riley, your psuedo-cousin! C'moooon!

Bingham “Bing” Boggs: Inside Out Characters FTW!! Listen, this idea is so bright and fun and I want to throw Martin at him and absolutely obviously Riley! It's just so fun please bring me Bing Bong 😭

Wade Ripple: Wade's energy really captivates me. I don't think I'd be able to do him justice but I have been obsessed with this sobbing mess since my first watch through of Elemental. I can see Riley or Martin (depending on age) also being drawn to his energy. Might drive Tony nuts depending but.

Keaton “Buster” Palmerteri: Listen, we ALL know I'm a Sequels Bitch and Buster has always been one of those characters I hate to love and love to hate. Just the Big Bully energy mixed with him also being a werewolf? The power that that could bring? Very fun!

James P. Sullivan: Who doesn't love a demon? Especially one who wants to pass for human but has to use their monstrous side to survive? The nuance! The dichotomy! I wanna see him!!

Characters Sammy Wants To Play & You Should Take Away From Me Please Oh Please Save Me From Myself:

Stiles Sanders Experiment 626: I've only been staring at this skeleton since I joined in 2020. I feel like Stiles' story can go so many ways! He's definitely got some Super Shit going on after the experiments but ultimately he wants to just be a person! And the amnesia? I mean please!

William Conner: Similar vibes to the above but!! Human Robot!! Human ROBOT!!! He grew too much sentience after an upgrade and now he wants to be a Real Boy! Why would you not wanna be involved here?!!?

Princess Atta Flutterwing of Swynlake Hollow: Okay this is a very recent addition to the Box of Potentials but the potential is still there! The idea of finding a human apartment because the Queen has decreed you need to understand humans which means you're essentially On Your Own for the first time in your whole life? Yes, of course, you can visit home but it's a whole change in the dynamics if you're visiting rather than living there. A coming of age story! Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift ANYONE!??!

Eve Harper: My concept for Eve is very different than the skeleton, admittedly. I can see Eve walking through the world with her OCD first as an adversary then as a way to look at things from other angles. I always picture her as a sorcerer (Divination Specialty) with the gift of Prophecy that makes her obsessions and compulsions all that more complicated to navigate. Just knowing she can do good with these gifts but also knowing that it's not quite as reliable as people might think.

Pearl Beck: The idea of this bright and bubbly cecaelia is really fun! The other two are evil (love you Ursula and Morgana) and Pearl just desperately wants to be accepted. Nowhere that has claimed to be 'Magick Friendly' has ever truly allowed her to stay because of the stigma of her abilities but she doesn't let it get her down!

[ketchup-monthly]

oh honey you know me im always down for a good monster au, and i have some thoughts and notes that could apply here!

i see your phoenix dick and werewolf jason but have you considered: phoenix jason. (i mean im just a sucker for phoenix imagery in relation to jason, but he keeps coming back! he keeps dying but he keeps coming back!). plus theres something to the tenacity of jason and the inability to kill a phoenix, who keeps dying in a blaze of glory and rising fro mthe ashes of the past to become something new, with new chances in life to make the right decisions.

and werewolf dick doesnt fit exactly right, but i know in a lot of media vampires and werewolves have rivalries of sorts with vampires, but i also know that classic Bram Stoker vampires (and a few others) have the ability to turn into a wolf at dawn and dusk (or at the turning of the tides), so vampire bruce, out at dusk, sees this orphaned child turn into a wolf at the exact time that vampires would be able to turn and maybe confuses little dickie for a vampire and takes him in, only to learn the next month, after many tries to get little dickie to shapeshift, trying to coach him into being able to transform, that he can only transform on the full moon or something because hes so young and doesnt have full control over when he shifts yet (plus werewolves themselves are an allegory for the human condition, and the symbolism is often times adapted and adopted by trans people so 👀)

ghost tim is a very sad concept but also yeah okay that makes sense oh why this kid is a ghost. however, within that, tim will never age. bruce will never age (most likely. depends on whether or not as a vampire he is alive, dead, or undead). alfred’s ageing is significantly slower and whoever the phoenix is cant functionally die because they would just come back.

but there are also so many little funky vampirisms that the kids would exploit the shit out of to get what they want. looking across vampire books, film, and folklore, i’ve compiled a list of traits that some vampires have that 100% either bruce or the kids would exploit:

shapeshifting- this one bruce would exploit the hell out of. as i said before, Stokers vampires can shapeshift at dawn and dusk, and into a bat, a wolf, a swarm of rats, i want to say spiders or some kind of bug, and mist. bruce would use the mist form when he wants to spy on people or things. the only downside is that he cant turn back until the following dawn or dusk

vampires cant cross running water- there is a little stream on the wayne property that bisects the backyard. any time the kids are mad at him or want to do something that bruce wouldnt want them doing or want to keep something from bruce, they go just on the other side of the stream, where he cant get to them

if a rose is placed on the top of a vampires coffin they can’t get out of it- this is self explanatory. (lovingly) trap bruce in his coffin to get back at him for making them eat their vegetables or whatever

garlic flowers- its the actual flowers, not the bulbs or the part you eat. so bruce has no issue with italian cooking for himself or his kids (if he could even eat it), but the flowers? alfred has planted garlic all around his garden to keep bruce from messing with it and accidentally killing everything

obsessive counting- vampires will obsessively count things that are thrown in front of them (like seeds, salt, or something similar). this one is less someone else does it to bruce and more he does it to himself

crosses/crucifixes- good thing bruce is jewish! (do jewish vampires get hurt by the star of david?)(either way, poor bruce when his catholic/lapsed catholic son jason moves into the manor)

vampires with no reflection in silver backed mirrors- the kids maybe dont know that its silver backed mirrors specifically and thought it was all mirrors and drew something on bruces face and lo and behold, he looked in an aluminum backed mirror and saw the drawings and chased his kids down to attack them with cuddles or something as punishment

permission to enter- a show of trust! bruce cant enter his sons rooms without their permission so it means so much more when jason finally says that hes welcome in, or when dick reaches out and asks for help with a nightmare or a particularly bad full moon, or tim needs a second pair of eyes with something, or anything else. when the kids finally allow bruce into their rooms, its such a sign of trust

Battinson Vampire Au

Bruce is a 400 old vampire, Alfred is a fae, and adopt supernatural children who need protection.

What do you think?

Ooo interesting! I usually keep it light-hearted with monster AUs, but I've been thinking that maybe vampires have a strict "No interspecies children" law. It's applied to unmarried/bonded vampires, usually.

Basically, aside from puritan bullshit ideologies and classism, vampires are regularly deemed as unfit parents due to being emotionally detached prone, always at risk of attacking a child that's not completely vampire.

You could also consider the angle that vampires aren't trustworthy because they'd use adopted/foster children as blood banks instead of getting an artificial store brand like modern vampires. We have Thomas Elliot to thank for that

The only reason Bruce, a product between a human and a vampire , came to be was because Thomas used his non-creature status and agreed to hire a supervisor (Alfred) at all times

But nonetheless, foster kids Dick, a phoenix, Jay, a werewolf, and Tim, a ghost, have Bruce as their last resort. What starts off as a visceral rivalry bred from distrust, past pain, and cautiousness blossoms in something bigger and easier

[pigeonfancier]

And while I'm Elfquest posting on main --

I've gotten three of the Blood of Ten Chiefs anthologies in so far for my EQ-blog-and-readthrough venture, and I was always a little baffled that forum members largely refused to actually summarise the books when I was a kid! Because a lot of minor details that aren't even translated to the comic version of BOTC remain canon to the greater lore, so it's always felt as if the books should have their material considered canon until directly contradicted, rather than considered noncanon until directly referenced.

The preference for the latter was baffling! But from the things people did mention, I figured it was entirely the horrifying wtf of Stormlight's story. Which, you know, fair, that shit's fucked.

Did not realise it was:

Horrifying wtf of Stormlight's story

Preypacer Recognising Wreath! Then Zarhan immediately Recognising Wreath afterwards, and informing her to lie about the parentage of the resulting child, because lol not his problem

Zarhan Recognised Rahnee before she was born.

As well as probably this:

The hunt had mated within itself and back to their yellow-eyed ancestors. They'd become peerless killers and regarded the first-born as failures. Strength and success were what counted within the hunt, and it did not matter that their offspring were often misborn and did not survive their milk-days.

And maybe (but probably not) this:

Timmain was golden in their memory, as she was golden in all the stories the Wolfriders knew, and loved, about her. Her face hovered above the white-shrouded camp. Reflexively the tribe yearned to find peace and serenity in the tableau, and were brutally turned aside. The hollow-eyed men and women of this dreamberry tale were not high ones but merely tall. Owl cleared his throat and spoke hesitantly, using words that had long been forgotten by the tribe: malaise, alienation, negritude, and anomie. The Wolfriders, young and old, heard the sounds and understood them only as they described the dreamberry tableau. In their own minds the words were simpler: waiting-for-death.

Gotta love when the distant, troubled past is defined by.. a general feeling of discomfort of uncertain origin, a state of being isolated from one's group, "black culture", and a lack of usual social or ethical standards in a group..?

I was trying to figure out if this was perhaps just a remarkably poor word-choice on the authors' part in this short story, but lol:

Her protagonists often attempt to uphold existing social institutions and norms in the service of the greater good while the antagonists often attempt to exploit, subvert or radically alter the predominant social order for selfish gain.

Can't imagine it was just a poor word-choice that slipped past the author, the Pini's, and the editor.

These books are such a fucking mess.