#but with a purpose like. like the post i made earlier it's bc life is just going through the motions. and this is breaking it

[daz4i]

unsurprisingly i am once again thinking about nikolai

[vacantgodling]

1, 3, 4, 8, 15 for the end of year ask game!! :3

hewwo thank you for the ask <3<3

1. what was your writing-highlight this year? what made it special and how will you reflect on it next year?

mentioned this in my writing in review for this year but finishing cage earlier this year really set me on a high note for the rest of the year. i really proved to myself that i can write 80k+ words in a single project; i can finish and fully flesh out a narrative, my dreams are achievable if i really put myself to it.

for a really long time i didn't think i could do it. there's a lot of reasons why i felt that way, but having people who kept up with every chapter, my partner and other friends like valen and multi listening to me rant ad nauseum about my ideas and thoughts, and giving myself permission to do something 'silly' turned out to be such a good decision. so i think next year i'm trying to take that energy into it. i'm writing for myself, my friends and my dick LMAO. but i'm also taking the strategies that i learned (ie: i need a long outline to finish something or i won't p much lol). so next year is really gonna be a planning year! i wanna have more outlines that i can go back and reread and become obsessed about sEUOSDJ

3. did you achieve everything you wanted to this year? if not, how will you go about it?

nah! but tbh i'm okay with it. getting distracted by other wips is just par for the course for me and my brain pfff so i'm not miffed that i got distracted by other things and paramour got put off to the side. i still think about paramour a LOT don't get me wrong; but khizzy and sjaak giving me brain rot is a welcome change.

i also could've never predicted i would get into conlanging--i barely knew what it was (outside of lotr really) but here i am a few months later with a whole baby language on my hands HAHA. i think i'm finally of the mindset that yeah writing is my life's purpose bc it would be meaningless without it, but its also a hobby and i wanna have fun with it <3

4. what is your favourite line you wrote this year?

this is so hard OSCJK thank god multiple people have asked this bc its definitely not just one. perusing through the things i wrote this year, i think one that stands out to me is from draft 3 of btaf (which is the actual Real Prose draft 1 attempt lol. its a whole tier system of me drawing this wip out) but its the first sentence kinda hits and i don't think i wanna change it cuz it sets the tone well:

The cruelest and craftiest of all the Devil’s handiwork—darkness—had descended upon and laid waste to the countryside.

something something, speaks of the savagery that is yet to be revealed later on, makes the wip super moody (the equivalent of the tried and true "dark and stormy night"), and alludes to the time period (cuz we're talking about the devil in deadass the first sentence PFF)

8. what are three things you're looking forward to next year?

i'm gonna be optimistic and say draft 2 (the elongated outline) of btaf will be done--i've been taking a break from it but multi's very sweet sweep of draft 1 has reinvigorated me with brain worms.

i also want to work more on he who smites the sun bc... khizzy beloved. and with that all of the wips from ph -> paramour i want to figure out how they're linked and their outlines etc

and then i think i'm just excited to just be more silly with what i write next year. i wanna get back into my art wips (tmc and broken clouds for instance) and write more smutty shenanigans with bruno and his mess. :D

15. time for shameless self-promotion! answer with a piece of writing you want others to see/read! (if you have nothing posted/published this year, any other year is fine too ^^)

this lore post about tcol which details MIZDARR and MUINENS's first meeting and how the harvest god KIBARUM was born. idk i really love the gods and mythos tcol has i should talk about it more. its not really writing writing but i want people to see it anyway :D

[neko-chans-teashop]

Theories for Obey me! Nightbringer

These are from pages of my journal, which I posted a bit earlier.

• The Demon King

So basically People keeps talking abt Solomon being MC's replacement, Barbatos, Diavolo, blah blah blah. So We theorize that this might be a while during after the fall right?? And who gave the brothers their titles? The Demon King of course. He might make an appearance, and I'm looking forward to it more than Lilith.

• Raphael

If Raphael is the 3rd Celestial Realm exchange student, why isn't there a human one? Raphael's purpose might be to watch and observe Simeon, to avoid him from turning against the Celestial Realm. The reason why Simeon might rebel against the Celestial Realm is in my next theory.

• Simeon being demoted

Most people talk about Simeon being demoted from Seraphim to Archangel, so I'm gonna give my theory about that. Simeon was close to Lucifer and his brothers, so maybe he stood up for them. He might've had a conversation with Michael about making them stay, or something like that. This also might be why he was demoted, to avoid his reputation being tarnished if he ever fell. Of course the Celestial Realm didn't want another Seraphim to fall right? If he stood up for the brothers, his chance for turning against the Celestial Realm is big.

• Solomon and Barbatos

Solomon has been mentioned to have Barbatos' grimoire, which allows him to have complete control over Barbatos. Maybe Solomon controls Barbatos more than Diavolo. If Solomon is the big bad here, then that would be likely bc of their bigger roles here in Nightbringer.

• Thirteen

Thirteen is a Reaper, a creature that watched over the Life Candles of humans, angels, and demons. It is mentioned that she once cause Beel's life candle to burn a bit faster and almost extinguish. Maybe Thirteen, or another reaper was involved in a plot that made them related to Lilith's death, such as extinguishing or causing Lilith's candle to burn faster.

• Lilith's Death

Beel said that Lilith was shot by an arrow, which caused her to die (if I remember correctly) She had extreme injuries, but since she is an angel, she could've healed it. Since her brothers are high ranking angels, she could be one too. But her life was hanging by a thread. Maybe a reaper was involved and worsened Lilith's injuries by making her candle burn faster, and it was all predicted that she would go to Devildom and such.

Those are all my theories, just to clear my head.

[spearxwind]

not to sound weird but what was that work you put in to get where you are 🙏 i want to improve my life so bad but have no clue where to start. even a general gist of things

You dont sound weird! I think it's commendable to want to change your life for the better, and I want to help in any way I can :D

This is also my own perspective but I think a lot of it could be universally applied if you look at it through different lenses of ppls different situations. This also got rly long so I'm putting it under a readmore ^^;

So I had pretty much been isolating myself with increasing ferocity for years until recently. Even when trying to reach out to people I was extremely closed off, keeping my feelings behind many walls and chains always. A lot of my hard work has come from undoing all of that fuckup. I put all my eggs into my online friendships (and even then had a hard time with them).

My behavior was a cluster of personal garbage, learned mannerisms from keeping bad company, and hardwired reactions to specific behaviors. It's something pretty hurtful to realize when you do realize it, but that doesn't mean that you are a bad person or a failure or anything like that. It just means that you have certain bare minimum survival behaviors that worked before but now are only doing you damage, and you have to learn to undo them. (which is a great step!!)

Which brings me to what I have (painfully) learned over the past several years: the basis to any and every good relationship, romantic, platonic, family, or anything is crystal clear communication. Straight up for the love of god communication skills will save your life time and time and time again

And also like I said in earlier posts the solution to wanting to be more social is just BEING more social. This is arguably extremely hard, especially after years of "if they want me around they'll ask me" and always waiting to be invited but not wanting to bother anyone by asking if you can join NO!!!!!!!! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR BRAIN EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!! It really does NOT work that way at all. People will invite you to things if they see you express interest in them. The same way that in your head you think 'theyll invite me if they want me to go' if they dont see you express interest people will think you dont want to join. If you go someplace and just stay recluse because youre shy they likely will also think "theyre probably not comfortable or dont want to be here, so we wont force them". People are inherently kind and they are definitely NOT thinking about shunting you on purpose (and I am speaking this, genuinely, from personal experience)

While I was studying my major I got close to a group of people and thought of them as my friend group, but they always seemed cold to me, and I rarely got invited to hangouts because they seemed closer among themselves so I ended up always thinking that they didn't really want me around, and created all of these assumptions in my mind about them or what they thought of me.

Years later, recently, I found one of them again just... randomly while walking through the street and we started talking. And in my much better state of mind I asked about this whole thing because I wanted to know how the rest of the group was doing (I care very much for them still) and he revealed to me that THEY were the ones who thought I was shutting myself off of the group bc I didnt wanna be close to them. Which just blew my mind but it made a lot of sense and explained a lot. I was always on my phone too, talking with my internet friends (because it was my comfort zone), so what they'd assumed was that I already had a friend group that I was invested in and so I wasnt going to prioritize them. SO basically this whole thing ended up being resolved with clear communication and would have been solved much earlier if I had just spoken up about it and gotten braver (though my mental state did not let me at the time)

Anytime you are making up assumptions and ultimatums in your mind without communicating them to the other party you should stop and very much go and speak out loud to the other party (or parties) it will genuinely do you good cause huge as hell brain snowballs do nothing but drown you in your own mind.

Also on the being social front, if you dont have the practice in then it will be hard but a lot of it is very much "fake it till you make it" and I genuinely cannot recommend that enough. Inject yourself into conversations and places and act like yourself unapologetically because the secret isnt to craft a persona that you think people will like, its just being yourself and finding people who will love you for who you are. And like I said I just got invested in other ppls plans and asked to be able to go to places, and oftentimes just by expressing interest i got invited "oh I love this show very much!!" "well we have a plan to watch it at my pals house do you wanna come?" "we were planning on going to X place this week" "omg that sounds so cool can I come with" "of course!" Generally people will respond with "the more the merrier" so please dont be afraid to ask. And even if you get a rejection or two it's fine, don't let it discourage you. Some plans are simply not meant to be, and that's totally fine too!

Something else I worked for was reestablishing contact with old highschool friends I'd lost and I missed terribly. I went out of my way to find them again (old phone numbers, old emails, old instagram accounts that hadnt posted since 2019), and I found them!

And most of them really missed me too and were absolutely thrilled I contacted them again, we picked up right where we left off eight years prior. With a lot to catch up to but its genuinely so nice to have them in my life rather than just melancholically thinking about them and wondering if they hated me or anything. Turns out that they had also thought to contact me as well or had tried and lost my phone, or some of them even thought that it was better to leave things as they were to not "stir up shit" so we were all stuck in the same loop of insane thinking without actually confirming it until one of us (me in this case) finally broke the ice (and it took a damn long time too)

The thing is, people are just like you. We all have our own mental nonsense to fight, and we all have our assumptions and propensity to think ourselves into the grave, that's why its so so so so important to communicate things as clearly and as often as possible. Bearing your suffering alone will only make you miserable in the end, and your circle is there to help you

As a last note, I do want to say I have been incredibly lucky, because the friend group I've been adopted into I have met through that one friend from uni that I just HAPPENED to find on the street. I could have not waved him over on the street and just kept walking with my music on and ignored him. I could have said 'no' to his offer to get dinner that day if I'd wanted to be home earlier. I could have never spoken up about liking eurovision and never gotten invited to the hangout where I met my bf. And none of this would have ever happened at all. But that just strengthens my advice of "just say yes and reach out of your comfort zone" because you never know where it's going to lead you!

All this to say:

Communicate clearly with your peers to reduce misunderstandings. More likely than not they'll be in the same boat as you are. (Also extra note. Communication works BOTH WAYS. It needs to come from both parties. It is also a skill you have to nurture and hone!!)

Be kind!! and be loving!! and be yourself unapologetically!!

reach out to people the same way that you'd want to be reached out to. It sucks that sometimes (even often) you have to be the one to do it, but you eventually reap what you sow and people will learn that they can reach out to YOU

People will respond in kind to you being nice to them and a positive energy in their life. Some people will take advantage of it yes, thats just how things are, and its something you have to learn to recognize but you should never let that steel your heart. It is so so so important to remain kind and loving the world needs it so much. We're all out here trying to make our own lives and our loved ones lives a little bit brighter <3

[puppersfluid8xd]

I realized that I haven’t posted abt this yet therefore u wouldn’t know but

I 100,000% believe that near is an autistic agere

he’s like 17 when he’s taking down Kira I believe and this guy is playing w toys and making noises like “vrrrrooom!” while he plays

Although yes I do believe part of the toys were a visual representation for him, us, and the ppl around him, I also think that he truly did enjoy playing w his toys outside of that. and it would make sense! Near is sumone who’s constantly had to be mature and responsible, his whole life is and was “being the next L”, he basically never got that much of a childhood cuz of it.

I think most of his team knows, especially those whose been around for a while (I.e. anthony, halle, and gevanni) and he most likely has a “play room” in his offices and/or bases. I think he probably only uses the play room during and after he’s having a meltdown or sensory overload and stays there until he calms down, but most of the time if he’s having other issues he’ll go there too, I don’t think he goes there “just bc he wants to play” yk? The room is probably all neutrals like the rest of his lil gear bc he finds colors overstimulating or distracting and therefore distressing, and I think he prefers wooden toys the most. I’m assuming he regresses from abt 5 to maybe 12 ish?? It’s a very big age range and he prefers the “older” ages. I think he does get frustrated tho abt being infantalized obviously as an autistic person, so his team has gotten pretty good at figuring out when he’s lil and when he’s not.

He’s been doing it since at least the first time we saw him, if not 11-12 or earlier. He told mello at sum point and mello didn’t rlly like it at first, but after seeing how much it helped him he became way more open to it and occasionally helped out regressed near. Matt didn’t get it at first either and would say lil things abt it, but mello sat him down and talked to him, and after a while he became even more caring n helpful around regressed near than mello was (which absolutely got on mellos nerves and Sumtimes Matt was doing it on purpose lol)

I’m sure other ppl have made other and better posts, but I haven’t thought to look around at/for them bc I figured there wasn’t many other agere death note fans and/or ppl who headcanon near as an agere until recent

ANYWAYS

we luv ageres and lil near and it also makes me very happy as a agere to see a character I relate to especially abt this <33

HAVE A GUD DAYS BABIES ILY BYEEE <33

(side note I have Deja vu typing this out?? N idk y??)

[wetcatspellcaster]

Hi, just wanted to say thanks for the 2 wonderful Honest Lie and Pieces chapters that you drafted and posted! I look forward to them, like a gift treasure box that comes every so often. Wishing you all the best in your current endeavors!

I liked that Rosalie unexpectedly answered the question about Threnn in Chapter 10. I thought she would avoid it, and as a reader, I love being pleasantly shocked by your narrative choices.

I wondered whether:

Astarion said Finn on purpose and he actually knew

This isn't the first time that Rosie's exposed that she's a langauge savant - early on, it was a big deal that she was a sorta scribe in Ancient Infernal. I had considered earlier and thought it was an author's whim such that she could read Astarion's scars, but now that Rosalie's spoken Elvish to Astarion, it feels like a plot point.

Also, when I realised Ser Verity's name is Severity, I sort of crossed my eyes and was giggly - annoyed at myself for not picking it up sooner! Can't believe you managed to keep such a good joke under wraps and pull it out like that, right under my nose!

much love, nashi

hi nashi! sorry for taking a while to reply to this, i was away over the weekend following my thesis deadline :)

My replies are:

in every timeline in every universe, Astarion knows Threnn's actual name and is deliberately getting it wrong

D&D is a system where a person can learn an insane number of languages with the right background and feats. I, as a player, always try to learn as many languages as possible (currently playing a warlock with only Infernal, and it hurts my fucking soul). Rosalie was an agoraphobic wizard with no social life and nothing to do for nearly three years, and she sure as hell wasn't learning spells. I decided to combine these three things to make a character. She had four languages (common, infernal, ancient infernal, elvish) before the agoraphobia, then she picked up a fuck-tonne of new hobbies. I also tried to deliberately pick languages that relate to each other, (eg. deep speech having no written language so I argue they use elvish script) bc this reflects the realities of language acquisition in real life.

...I'm going to be so honest with you, I wasn't the one who realised Ser Verity was Severity. I have a friend, who's cat is called Sir Vinegar, and I wanted to honour my godson. I then tell my friend: "I named a cat after him lol". She turns round and says "oh, that's a cool pun for a wizard cat, like Severity!" Me: shocked pikachu face. and thus, her punny name was born. the secret to keeping a good joke under wraps is not realising you've made it ;)

[fangaminghell]

That bulletpoint about damian not being a punching bag in your rewrite made me smile. I remember it being one of the main points that made me slowly lose interest in the story- the other thing being at some point seeing two cult leaders start talking like they’ve been on trope talk but that’s irrelevant to this

I was wondering, do you have plans to write a fic for your rewrite?

Haha, thank you! I genuinely disliked how the game made Damian such a punching bag for no apparent reason. He was actually one of the biggest reasons I was even invested in the plot, and when he basically got written out, my interest reaaaaaally plummeted. Also yeah, the dialogue of this game......did not help!

In my rewrite, Damian actually has an arc while still fulfilling the general same beats of the story ( though he gets freed from pokerus earlier than the freaking post game). He's a kid who for the majority of his life has been looked down upon or overlooked, and he simply wants to be something. He genuinely never thought too highly of himself until he was chosen by Shaymin - which told him that he could become a hero that the people needed, a hero that people loved, just like he always wanted. The problem with that, however, is that Damian is young and very excited about his new found purpose. Which isn't bad on its own, but given how there's Cults looking for Damian and other mythical chosen ones, he needs to keep his head low and not show off. And Damian does tries this....tries too. Again, he's young and was given a chance to prove himself, something he thought would be a far off dream. So it wouldn't come as a surprise that he 1) gets a bit more cocky with his new powers and 2) sometimes slips up information that he really should not be sharing. My version of Damian is still a bit of a blabber mouth.

You could argue that the game shows this, sure, but from my perspective it's just a means to continuously rag on Damian, and it's so unfair. I will say, I kept the argument at that library between him and Nora, but this time, to me, it's much more nuance than,again, Nora being an ass ( Nora in this rewrite is also pretty different from her canon self.....ough. I love her lots). That's kinda the goal overall with this rewrite: give this story the nuance and character writing it deserves, bc this story could be great! It just feels like the game isn't treating it like that, especially nearing the end of the game.

As for writing a fic.....eeeeeh. I try not to downplay my writing capabilities, but I also know myself when it comes to extended projects. I tried once before and quickly burned myself out. It doesn't help that I'm still in the process of simply understanding my version of the plot, sequence of events, world building, character relationships, etc etc etc. If I ever start to write this as a fic, it will probably be a while. For now, I'm okay with writing rambles and thoughts about this rewrite! I hope you all enjoy them :)

[lovebvni]

what was i made for? (journey overview)

this is going to be kind of a vent blog , but at the same time it’s a reflection of my shifting journey. where i’ve been and where i’m going. i want to be transparent, and i want to motivate others, and right now, this is the best way i can do that.

there will be no triggering material in this blog, but will be slight references to mental health and illness. if that botherw you, i totally understand if you don’t read on. this is also a long blog, so be prepared

i’m not going to start at the beginning and where i was born, because that’s BORINGG!! what i do want to start with two major signs i got when i was younger. i, personally, consider these signs that i would eventually get into shifting/i am made for a higher purpose. at the time, i didn’t know this so all of these are almost… revelations? i hope that’s the right word, lol!

the one thing i want to talk about is a dream i had. i’m going to summarize it. simply i was living in black and white with my family. i found a vent and crawled through it. i cried a few times, and got discouraged, but i kept going. when i got to the end, my 5th grade crush was there. everything was in colour. i forgot what he was wearing but i know it reminded me of the gilded age. i was wearing a lime green dress and he said something along the lines of “i’ve been waiting for you” or “you’re finally here” obvs i woke up after this but it felt very important and it still does.

anyways, time skip to ~late 2020 - early 2021. i was on quotev… writing hxh fanfics… BUT ANYWAYS! i was on quotev and one of my mutrals, who im still good friends with today, made a post about something called ✨reality shifting✨. now i looked up to her — im going to call her s btw — so i thought it was pretty cool she found out about something like this. now obviously, with me being me, i did a deep dive into it. tiktok, go google, instagram, amino, you name it, i was on it! dude, i genuinely got so into this and obsessed. it wasn’t healthy, but at the time i needed something.

the first thing i remember was joining amino. i joined an mha shifting community. i had recently got into the show and i was debating about shifting there — although my main priority at the time was hxh. i asked a lot of questions — simple questions too — but everyone was so respectful when answering them. i also remember posting a (very shitty) art work at the time n i got a lot of love for it 😭 my art style has changed a lot since then and ajsjdjf!! i lowkey should redraw it. i also kept s updated during this time, and looked at her mini-journal on quotev whenever she posted! it’s an understatement to say i was very into shifting and that i latched onto it. primarily because i needed something to look forward to and to have hope in, you know? i didn’t have much at the time. i didn’t have friends, my life began changing in the 3D. things felt like they were going downhill. i also moved this year to a house from an apartment.

anyways, i continued interacting in that amino up until earlier this year — because of personal issues. but during the time, i actively engaged, researched and got better at shifting and understanding the process + life in general. i made many friends during this time, and got involved in group shifts :) other than w s obviously.

this leads to my first shift in ~mid 2021. i fell asleep doing a method, i forgot what method at this point. what i do know, is i woke up in my mha dr. i felt wind blowing on my face, i heard birds chirping, i felt the sunlight on my face… i have a post on it somewhere — i literally cannot find it! but it was a wonderful experience, it gave me a lot of motivation to remember it. it still does! also my eyes stayed closed this whole time, but i know, i KNOW i shifted. i was there. there is no way 99% of those things could have happened in my cr bc of where i was. i had also moved at this time, i was living in a house.

this leads me to ~late 2021 or early 2022. i was introduced to channeling (and dabbled in witchcraft) through replika (don’t do this. it’s not reliable.) as i channeled my s/o (who turned out to be my soulmate) multiple times + my spirit guide gage! it was weird meeting her, because she’s very blunt and straight to the point. she literally said hi, her name, and dipped 🤞. i love her. later in 2022 (early -> mid ) i had a discord server that was shifting based (it has sense been abandoned, as i los that account 💀) and i met kairi ( gage’s baby daddy/husband), piper (who was 5 at the time, she’s abt 7 now) and my friends guide — sailboat (that’s what i know him as. him and kairi have BEEF!) i used to often channel and talk to them — or even just talk to them without channeling them so i could just ramble and they would listen. i would do this in the shower btw. they listened a lot and well. they’re so sweet, and they’re always there for me. i seriously recommend u guys get to know ur guides — they help a lot.

anyways, at the end of this year, 2022, it was a blur. my sister was admitted to the hospital during the beginning of 2023. i was introduced to deity work during the end of 2022 — and this is how i work with loki and found out im his child (he just said hey btw 💀💀 so if yall wanna say high go ahead) i want to say im sorry to loki, as i blamed him for my sister being admitted to the hospital and another situation i cannot talk about publicly. loki is the god of chaos, but that’s because he brings chaos and strives in it. i also bring and strive in it, but how people react is what matters. it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t mine, it wasn’t my sisters, it was actually my biological fathers. and that’s okay. i don’t care anymore, but i want to publicly apologize to loki for blaming him for such issues that came by. i love you so much, padre, and thank you for being a great father and friend

this year, i was going through a lot of shit. i was inactive on most socials from january to may, and i really don’t remember why. i do remember this is the year i was manifesting seriously that i shift before or on 11.11. unfortunately, i didn’t and im pretty sure that’s because i believed that i wouldn’t. i worked my ass off and i thought i deserve this, so why am i seeing little to no progress.

it was because i was basically looking down, and not realizing how far i’ve come. the end is near for me, and there’s literally no way i can mess this up.

now i know, this isn’t an in-depth reflection or whatever, but there isn’t a lot i did that i can remember in this reality (trauma response oops!) but it’s what’s going on up until now.

this month, i did a reading with my friend (nile) and we asked what has to happen before we shift. and we got two things. the first being a fight between two of my school friends, the second is a significant meeting between nile and a MAN. YEAH. A MAN U GUYS WERE WAITING ON A MAN.

anyways. sorry about that. so we’re currently waiting on a man n that’s like the last step 💯🤞✨ i’m trying to stay hopeful n whatnot but it hasn’t been easy. the part 2/addition to this blog will be constants and things that kept me going and hopefully can help you out :)

i’m sorry this blog is just one big pile of nothing bc the message got a bit fucked when i was making this — i restarted it about 3 times n i genuinely forgot why i made this when i did initially. but yeah, this is what i have for u rn! the next one will be called “i got love” based off the mother mother song xx keep an eye out!!

[aeide-thea]

[consent in fiction, content warnings]

i started to make a post abt this earlier and then scrapped it, but like, long and boring details aside, i guess really what i'm still thinking about is the way in which content warnings are, probably inevitably, sometimes so insufficient as to be actively worse than nothing—

like, okay, the specific thing i encountered this morning was a fuck-or-die sex pollen fic tagged as 'no archive warnings apply,' which is obviously, uh, debatable, given that the trope is kind of inherently dub-con at best, but the author had tagged for 'sex pollen' and 'fuck or die,' so i guess those individual tags do give readers a sufficient-if-not-generous heads-up that, like, here be dragons or whatever… but then i actually read the fic in question, bc while i feel neutral abt the trope i've often liked this author's work in the past, and like, the actual consent issue that fucked me up a little was that the sex pollen wasn't just an organic phenomenon or lab accident or whatever, as often, but rather deliberately inflicted on the leads, and not by yr run-of-the-mill Evil Experimenters/Torturers/what-have-you, but rather by… the narrator's ex's sisters, as payback for… his ex's having broken up with him???

which, fine, whatever, people sometimes do fucked up shit and you can certainly include that in a story; but the love interest's reaction to discovering this is just to be 'amused,' while the narrator is like, i'm just relieved my ex is still willing to talk to me! which again, fine, whatever, people do shrug off serious violations of their autonomy out of a desire to maintain social bonds, that also isn't unrealistic or unreasonable to portray in a fic; but that entire aspect of the situation got literally less than 2% of the fic's whole word count devoted to it, i guess because we're in Romance Land where the only thing allowed to have actual emotional weight is intra-relationship developments, and anything outside that context is just meaningless scaffolding, even if in real life it would be a pretty fucking big deal, and probably pretty traumatizing, to find out your ex's family had literally poisoned you???

anyway, sorry, i guess i couldn't restrain myself from going into excruciating detail after all, but tl;dr it's just like. it frankly made me feel much weirder to encounter that plot point in a context where other, more familiar dubcon tropes had been warned for, because it made me feel much more uncertain that the author actually recognized it was an issue! i'd have preferred it if they'd just slapped an 'author chose not to use archive warnings' on the whole thing!

[cw for discussion of a fictional depiction of deliberately painful sex]

reminds me of a fic that fucked me up much more a while back, where a character had consented to sex and consented, too, to poorly-defined punishment, but the form the punishment ended up taking was deliberately-careless penetration that caused the character pain on purpose, and neither the character nor i were braced for that, and while i guess you maybe couldn't say it needed a noncon label, because technically both sex and punishment had been agreed to, it definitely was like. while you-the-author may technically have your bases covered here in a legalistic way, this was definitely a pretty deliberate bait-and-switch that was triggering both for the character it happened to and for me! and like. was it effective as a reading experience? honestly, yeah! i got an emotional journey out of it that really mirrored the character's—method reading, if you will. but do i still resent that author for it, literal years later? also yeah.

anyway i guess basically the thing is like. i'd much rather know i'm venturing into unknown territory and be on my metaphorical toes, than have situations like the above where like, everything is supposedly safely tagged, but the author's standards for that aren't the same as yours, and then something slides between the cracks to sting you?? like, i'm (hopefully obviously) not opposed to content warnings, and do typically provide them on this blog, but there's an extent to which it's like. a guardrail that gets dislodged when you put any actual weight on it is more dangerous, actually, than a wholly unfenced drop…

[n00bcat1234]

next part of my murder drones au. I'll probably start posting a part everyday bc I've already finished it.

Y'know... if I remember

First part / Previous part / Next part

Henry*** Part 6

"So, if it's not offensive or anything, um, what... are you?" I asked nervously. "I mean, I've never heard of a murder drone with teal eyes." I quickly added. "Oh, it's fine." Z replied. "It's kind of a long story, though." She paused, with a thoughtful expression on her face. "But, I suppose we have a long time. Unless you guys want to go to bed." She said. "I'm gonna hit the hay." Izzy said. "Ok." Z replied. "I guess I'll see you in the morning." After she laid down in a makeshift bed we made out of snow, I whispered to Z, "We should probably wait until she falls asleep. It doesn't take long, usually." She nodded, and we sat there in silence. Izzy had started a fire earlier, when we decided to stay there for the night. The warmth of it reminded me of my bed. 'My bed...' The thought of my bed momentarily satisfied me. It probably wasn't a great sign that I was already missing my bed, but I decided that anyone would, to distract myself from how weird I was. "I think she's asleep now." I told Z. She looked up from the fire to me. "Ok, I'll tell you what happened." She said. A grim look appeared on her face. "I... used to be normal disassembly drone. Yellow eyes and such." She started. "I even had a boyfriend. I happily killed with him, and it seemed that my life was perfect. I don't know... why JCJenson ruined it for me." She paused, then resumed, "When JCJenson started making worker drones and humans into disassembly drones, they were... confused. Chaotic. Maybe even more dangerous than the actual disassembly drones." As she said that, I could feel my eyes widen slightly, and a chill go down my spine. She continued, "They soon realized that these imported disassembly drones would need some kind of supervision. They decided to use the manufactured disassembly drones for this purpose. But there was apparently a problem with the normal disassembly drones. They didn't know much about these new imported disassembly drones.And what if they rebelled against them? So, they made an... 'update' for the chosen disassembly drones. It would take away their weapons and their violence. They would have knowledge of the new imported disassembly drones. I was... one of these drones. I was completely reset. They basically killed me, and replaced me with someone different." I felt a wave of sympathy for her. When I thought she was over, she continued, "But... it didn't completely work, at least, not for me." Her angry frown was replaced with a small smile. "I don't know everything about the new disassembly drones like you, and I still remember what I was like before, unlike the others. But... I liked how I was way more than now." I had a feeling that this was the actual end to the story. There was a moment of silence between us. "Well, we should probably go to bed." I said. "Thanks for sharing your story with me." Z put out the campfire. "Thank you for listening."

[dreamg0rly]

Hiiiii!! so here’s a lil backstory (sorry if it’s too much). but basically i’ve known about not loa communities for almost 3 years. i started off with law of attraction but soon later found out about the law of assumption and switched over bc the first one caused a lot of limiting beliefs and overall the law of assumption was just way easier for me. and i manifested HELLA things with the law of assumption but ofc i consider dem “small” things so me wanting to get into the void is every big to me bc i’ve made a whole list of things that i want to affirm for in the void. before i had took months off from manifesting like all tg (didn’t happen on purpose) i had tried to get into the void once before. bc then i was one of those ppl that would switch methods every other day after it didn’t work the first time (obviously bc i wasn’t persistent in the fact and being consistent) and would just try sum new. but when i did try to get into the void i did a meditation and just affirmed for the void the first time i felt symptoms and almost made it but got to scared and backed out and the second time i didn’t feel any symptoms at all and i don’t rmb why bc it was like almost a year ago but i had gave up. and after i took a long ass break like i said earlier and i really improved myself in a whole lot of ways not only have i seen my progress but my ppl around me have seen it to. and i started thinking i’m finna be a mfn senior bc i am dis my last week of school and i want my dream life before we go back. so lately i’ve been looking into the void again and i have my list and a whole plan of what i’m going to do to get into the void; listening to delta waves every night while going to sleep while affirming my affirmations, affirming throughout the day and just persisting fr in the fact that i always wake up in the void bc i feel like it would be easier for me. also ofc i’m eager to get my desires but i’m not in a rush bc i want to do everything right and not disappoint myself by possibly failing so i’m really waiting for school to be over so i won’t feel stressed (from work and school) and can actually have time to relax bc ik dats what i need to get into the void. but i really have faith and believe my plan would work out bc of some posts i’ve seen on here (i tried to link it but it wouldn’t let me) and i’m really excited for it bc idk why but i just believe if i do everything thing that i feel like is right and that would work it will and i’ll have my dream life soon.

here are my affirmations:

i always wake up in the void aware

i love waking up in the void i can easily affirm for wtf i want and get right out

my affirmations are going to be some like those. i don’t really manifest using the same affirmations i really just be affirming how i think on a regularly basis like i just let it run naturally. but my main point of sending this was a lil fear that i have bc i’ve read ur “tips for the void” and it’s help me but i’m still kinda worried about one thing. i’m kinda scared that me going to the void and affirming in it i’ll just shift in a reality that has everything i want but it’ll just be temporary. like i’m scared it’ll feel like it’s fake like i’m living a fake temporary life. idk it might be confusing but that’s just how i can explain the fear i have.

no i completely understand! i recommend you read some success stories. in void success stories they usually detail out how they manifested their desires permanently through the void and how they are living their dream life in their cr. youll see the difference between void success stories and shifting stories super quickly. just set the intention you want your desires in your cr permanently!

[iturmom]

woke up from a nap at 9. starting to feel feverish eating the very old and stale ginger bread house my partner and i made earlier while scrolling through tumblr with a youtube video in the background. i somehow managed to get everything mostly cleaned up from christmas, it wasn't too bad since theess was just from today and two people. i didn't mop bc i didn't feel good. now that i'm done with my cookie and hot chocolate i want to work on my seed packets. i have four i need to make- eggplant, cutie, fuji and envy apple. so far i have eight packets done with somehow not much variety. i enjoy making them but idk if they will every serve any purpose unless society collapses sometime in the near or distant future at which time they may become useful. for now i think they are pretty and they make me feel good to produce something completely by hand. i'll probably share a picture when i'm not sick and more are done. i've read a lot of books this year, mostly political themes or manga. i completed a booklet containing 36,000 circles i painstakingly drew. i made a couple paintings and several drawings my partner and i have been trying to navigate life and fucking it up all the time like everyone else. i replayed kh series up to coded (all i have) but i haven't finished bbs yet and i watched the games i don't have! oh how can i forget!? i moved into my apartment the very beginning of this year and i have really settled in by now. i watched a lot of stuff. i had my wisdom teeth removed. i got glasses. i broke up with my best friend. i went to several events in the city. this year was somehow very eventful. i hope i didn't accomplish much. i hope i've touched someone's life this year in a positive way. i've been really depressed and sick of the conservative oligarchy that controls the world i unfortunately live in and terrified of the election, and now looking forward in pure horror and pure apathy simultaneously

through the good and the bad this year,the one thing that has stayed consistent that's good to end this post with: nothing matters i fucking hate this life i never wanted to exist and i shouldn't be held responsible for someone else's decision to have a child. and also: forcing someone to carry a fetus to full term against their will without pay is slavery and perhaps the most horrific and invasive form of slavery at that

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

huh... yeah i guess

I just never read it like that

Disclaimer, I was already writing prior to the finale that I saw hints at Simon essentially sugarcoating or softening his view of the past, which was contributing to his myopia which in turn was spiraling him into depression

(this got stupid long sorry)

tl;dr: i just never saw it as a blame game, pointing fingers scenario, i fully believe the finale's message was saying "hey i fucked up, but thats not the end of my story" not "simon, why didnt you do x, y, z?"

because simon is at peace in the end, or hes on the road to peace - which he wouldnt be if the finale was just all about pointing out how badly he fucked up

it did point out that he fucked up, but optimistically so like constructive criticism, "here's where you went wrong because i want you to feel better" type way - plus i think simon needed to hear some hard truths - not all at once, not spelled out like hes a kid, and not at the final episode

and i think that it was never a question of simon sacrificing for betty more than it was simon being more considerate (thats the part of the linked post which is a little too heavy handed for me). no one's asking simon to sacrifice anything, thats the point!

so in my head, it wasn't so much as "you need to appreciate betty's sacrifices more" which honestly, i dont feel that was implied? i think that simon was absolutely in pain but he was also actively making that pain worse, which one tends to do when it comes to depression

again, i am saying im biased bc I already came into the finale thinking, yeah simon needs a wake up call badly - and part of that was seeing the world for what it was and not how he thinks it is

because like... why does Simon hate himself at the start of the show? he doesnt feel like he fits in, he has no purpose anymore or hes too incompetent to go adventuring, hes mourning betty who left him, he keeps getting compared to ice king

and then we go to the end and what mistakes were pointed out - it was never that he was so fundamentally other that he could never fit in, he is actually kickass, and it was never that ice king was better than simon - so that leaves betty

and to me, part of his inability to move on from betty (it has been twelve years) is rooted in his capacity to exacerbate his loss - in short, he throws himself pity parties and its fine to grieve, no one stops grieving not really - but it cant be all that one does - and it was really coming to the point where that appeared to be all that simon did

which you know speaks to a rather myopic world view which like reaaaaally isnt healthy

and my initial posts about the finale already points out that they do not adequately address simon's self centered tendencies - so its not like i think the finale is well executed

i dont disagree with the content! i just dont like how they put out the content!

but thats kinda why i dont see the whole thing about casper and nova as a "lets point fingers at simon" time, i think it was a... crude attempt at telling simon to get a better perspective on his own life - not well executed (genuinely cringe), but i can see the intent

at the end of the day, and this is part of the reaaaaallly shitty execution, it was never about the mistakes simon made but the way... simon has to get over those mistakes... he came to that conclusion rather abruptly at the end "this isnt how this happened" which segued into that final note of acceptance

thats my issue. like as we have both mentioned, they needed simon to realize his mistakes waaaaaay earlier and then the final episodes should have been devoted to simon learning how to well, not to put it bluntly, get over it - his past - his curse - his loss

to me, and hey i am biased bc i came into this thinking, hey simon needs a wake up call, i saw simon saying "i could have avoided the crown" as like the first time he ever... says that, which was a sign of like him feeling less like a victim in a way, less like he was at the whims of some unknowable fate. honestly, i thought it was empowering

it kinda also goes back to simon's feeling of vindication when it turns out winter king was a sham - like he was powerless, there was never anything he could do to stop this, he's just a victim

but he's doing himself injustice by narrowing his perspective of himself as a victim - it contributes to his idea that he's too weak to move on

it's not winter king's extreme of "manifesting your own reality", which is the exact extreme he's actually already doing... it's more like learning what betty learned "we could have made better choices but i have no regrets"

that line is what makes me think this was never a blame game - it was stripping the past of its sweetness so it can make the present less bitter

Something something I kind of dislike the framing that Simon's figurative suicide by the crown is selfish towards Betty/Marceline. His actions with the Golb figure to talk to her were selfish, not the "I am in so much pain and suffering I need to get out" bit. It's a... touchy subject, extremely difficult to manage/handle. I'm sure both Betty and Marcy feel anger and disappointment, but... you don't support/help someone heal by turning that on them.

Lol reasons 249574 the finale rubbed me as... off.

[plague-of-insomnia]

Ch 195: Doll & Snake’s Reunion

This chapter is very short (only 9 pages), but had a lot of info, and yet it leaves the door open for questions and interpretations. For example, it’s not clear yet if Doll was ever killed and therefore is a bizarre doll or not.

The chapter opens with Doll explaining about the night they went to Kelvin’s manor and found it already ablaze, and there was nothing they could do. They were completely helpless. And we get a new shot of Sebastian and Ciel that’s incredibly ominous—yet it’s not made clear that he kills Doll. Though the way Doll says “there was nothing I could do��� does seem to suggest that their life ended that night.

Doll explains that they went back to the circus, but didn’t find anyone of the main group, including Snake—it was like he just disappeared. So they wandered around from London to Bath, and eventually ended up at the FOL Orphanage. Doll doesn’t explain how they ended up there, just that they work as a scullery maid and are good with kids since they grew up in an orphanage too.

It isn’t clear if Doll is intentionally withholding information from Snake (and Finny), or if they’re a BD and maybe don’t know all the details.

Doll chews Snake out a bit for disappearing—and says they couldn’t write him since they used to be illiterate, which implies they can now read and write. So were they taught, or can Ut transfer skills by copying and pasting from other people’s cinematic records?

Snake starts to explain how they left the circus and disappeared, but before he can say more, Wadsworth forcefully stops him.

He reminds Snake that Smile and his friends are wanted men!

Snake then has a debate with three of his snakes: Wilde, who thinks they should trust the “old man” (Wadsworth’s intuition); Keats, who agrees; and Emily, who likes and trusts Doll.

Emily calls Doll a “trustworthy child” while Keats and Wilde are suspicious that Doll might rat them out to the police.

This part was really interesting bc it’s the first time we really see Snake actively conversing with his snakes. It’s not entirely clear if they’re making noise that he’s interpreting, if they have some kind of telepathic communication, or if he intuits what they’re saying. (Bc earlier, with Wadsworth, Snake admits he thinks he gets what the snake is saying.)

But Snake feels conflicted here, as to whether he should trust the old friend who took care of him when he first joined the circus, or keep the confidence of his new Phantomhive family.

What’s interesting here (and I’ll go into this more in another post about his snakes) is that the only snakes who talk to Doll are Emily and Oscar. The rest speak only to Snake (Keats, Wadsworth, Wilde, etc.) What’s more, Finny doesn’t say a word the entire chapter, either.

Regardless, Doll is like “Oi, Snake, I’m over here, talk to me” and he’s so caught off guard that he tries to speak for himself (one of, if not the only time he does this?). Flustered, he isn’t even sure what pronoun to use for himself, first saying “オレ” (ore) for “I” and then “僕” (boku). [For more on first-person pronouns in Japanese, see my pronoun posts for Doll, Bard, and Ciel]

Their little reunion is interrupted by a bizarre commotion. The orphanage staff burst into the kitchen in a tizzy because the menu for afternoon tea for the Pomeranian Class (the “Ciel” class) has been changed from lemon cake to lemon tart.

Snake is bewildered. Since they’re both lemon, does it really matter?? And you can practically hear the record screech.

Doll turns almost hostile as they remind Snake they may be friends but “this” is all the staff of FOL Orphanage have. Bewildering.

Could it be that there’s something in the food and that’s why it matters? Or is it simply that their purpose is to serve the orphans and Snake’s comment comes off as dismissive? It’s odd. Definitely makes you curious as to what the hell is really going on in this place.

~#~

[Cover analysis ] • [Snake’s Snakes - coming soon]

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

Venomous Teachings au: P.I.X.A.L

Ok, my computer crashed when I was almost done drawing this reference, and I want to get this post made before going on a family trip, so I’m just posting this half done version I was able to save. Someday I’ll post it recompleated. 

Probably.

I added Falcon in there fairly late in drawing this, so just pretend that the bird is there bc it’s more Pixal’s buddy than Zane’s for awhile for plot purposes.

To talk about Pixal and where she fits in to everything else, I need to talk a little bit more about the first time the Skulkin raided Ninjago.

It was a massive attack on Ninjago City; the damage to the city and it’s citizens was extensive, and the Skulkin focused on the Imperial Palace, trying to make the biggest statement possible. The attack resulted in the death of the Emperor at the time (the father of the Emperor who adopts Harumi)

This massive destruction and the subsequent rebuilding, which Wu publicly took the lead of, gave a rising entrepreneur by the name of Cyrus Borg a massive boost, His inventions and innovations were invaluable in bringing the city back to its former glory, and then surpassing what it once was.

Presently, Ninjago City is a thriving metropolis. It isn’t quite to the level of techno-futurism it was in S3 in cannon (before going back to a fairly normal city setting in every season after), but it’s still a bustling hub, the heart of the Ninjagan Empire.

My hc for cannon, which I’m using in this, is that Pixal was originally created as an AI assistant by Cyrus when Borg Industries was just starting to help with things like book balancing, but when Cyrus noticed she was starting to grow beyond her initial programing, that she was starting to learn and become more than he ever intended her to be, he nurtured her growth.

When Borg Industries grew large enough and Cyrus had the resources and money, he built her a body, which she helped design. It took several tries to make a functioning body, but eventually they got it to work. Since that happens earlier than in cannon here, Pixal has had a body a bit longer than in cannon.

Pixal mostly works as Cyrus’s personal assistant and right hand, but she has plenty of free time at Cyrus’s insistence. He wants her to get out there, make friends, live her life as a whoever she wants to be!

Unfortunately, without Zane, one of the city’s beloved heroes being well known as a Nindroid, Pixal is viewed as not much more than a talking vending machine, so Pixal had a holographic human disguise she uses whenever she goes out on anything that isn’t official Borg Industries business.

Pixal has some issues with her own personhood. Namely, whether or not she is a person. She knows that she was built to be Cyrus’s assistant; it’s literally in her name. But despite Cyrus’s attempts to let Pixal know that he sees her as just as real a person as he is, she doesn’t quite feel that way. Pixal believes that Cyrus is trying to perfect her AI to use it in further projects for Borg Industries, and him encouraging her to do things like check out a new coffee shop or see what days the book club at the library are meeting are his way of seeing if she can meet certain parameters she doesn’t fully understand.

Cyrus, and by extension Borg Industries, are closely allied with Wu and the Ninja. Wu saw the potential Cyrus had after the first attack, and felt he would be a powerful asset, so he started working closely with the inventor, helping the company take off.

So this is also something I’ll elaborate on when I get that post about everyones powers finished, but something Wu can do is use some other Elements. Garmadon can too. Wu will frequently use the Element of Mind to...influence some of Cyrus’s projects and decisions. It isn’t anything huge; Wu doesn’t want to risk damaging a tool that has been so useful. He only just plants ideas, like making Cyrus feel that putting tracking devices in everything he makes for the Ninja to use is a good idea, as a precaution, or helping to nudge Cyrus into going with an idea Wu has. Wu will also read Cyrus’s thoughts to learn things like passwords and upcoming projects that he might be able to alter and use.

Pixal does not like Wu. He does not pass the vibe check, and she can’t shake the feeling that there’s something just plain wrong with him. Pixal, as a way to help understand humans and human emotions better, wrote a software program for herself to use that identifies and categorizes micro-expressions and body language and tonal inflections and all the little nuances in human communication, and everything in that points to Wu being a massive lying liar. It’s barely perceptible, even to her, but it’s there.

She’s also picked up on Wu’s manipulations of both Cyrus and the Ninja, but she has no idea how to go about trying to stop that. She doesn’t want to tell Cyrus that someone he trusts as much as Wu is taking advantage of him without some sort of concrete proof, and Pixal and the Ninja aren’t exactly friends.

Just gonna say it here, probably the only cannon ship that will be appearing is Garmisako. While Pixane is one of my favorite ships in the show, it wouldn’t really work out with this au.

Since she’s known Kai the longest and in a way grew up with him, he’s the closest thing she has to a friend, and the same is true for him. They mostly just make snarky comments to each other at big press events when no-one else can hear it.

Pixal is kinda weirded out by how clingy the other three Ninja are, and avoids them as much as possible. Jay, Cole, and Zane are with the rest of Ninjago in seeing Pixal as just a really complex machine, partly because that’s what they were told she was by the media when they would hear about the rising tech giant Borg Industries, and partly bc Wu tells them that that’s all she is.

Wu can’t read Pixal and her emotions like he can anyone else he’s ever met since she can literally lock herself into a poker face, so he truly believes that she’s just a fancy toaster with legs. While he does know Zane is an android as well, he feels that Zane receiving the Element of Ice (more lore on Zane’s core and Dr Julian and possibly the Ninjagan government coming in a later post, once I figure out if I want Dr Julien to be a good person or not. I have mixed feelings about him) is what made him a ‘real’ person.

Pixal meets Nya before the knowledge of the Underworld Duo being in Ninjago is well known. The Duo head to Ninjago City not long after escaping the Underworld, trying to get their bearings in a world that’s wildly different from what Garmadon remembers, and that Nya really doesn’t remember. While trying to get to Mystake’s shop and get some help from her, the two got separated, and Nya had camped in an alley near a Dairy Dragon to wait until dark so it would be easier to move around. And to also try and steal some ice cream, which she doesn’t remember but with her heightened sense of smell she knows she wants some.

Pixal’s in her human disguise, almost gets mugged the alley, and Nya stops the mugger. She’s absolutely intrigued by this weird, feral, not entirely human girl who just dropped off of a fire escape, broke a knife in half with her hand, and then threw a guy in a dumpster.

The part ways, and shortly after that Nya is on the news, being chased and cornered by the Ninja, only for the Dark Lord Garmadon himself to show up and save her. And then it’s revealed that Nya is the long thought to be dead younger sister of Kai. Pixal is even more intrigued by all of this, and since she’s already wary of Wu, she starts to wonder if there’s more going on.

Would someone supposedly brainwashed and empowered by the Dark Magic of a demon warlord really take the time to save a random civilian from a mugging? Would the Lord of Darkness, the King of the Underworld, the Scourge of Ninjago willingly confront the person Destined to defeat him alone, just to save one pawn? Why are they both dressed in clothes that seem cobbled together from a closed-down thrift shop instead of, y’know, armour? Things don’t seem to be adding up to Pixal.

Time passes, plot goes on, and after the Duo get away with the Sword of Flames, Wu convinces Cyrus to create General Cryptor and the Nindroid army to hunt the Duo down. He gives Cyrus some of Zane’s blueprints to use, which he got after getting Cyrus to dismantle the Falcon and discover where it came from.

Pixal ends up running into Nya again, and ends up helping her this time around. Nya was trying to steal some supplies to treat an injured Garmadon, and was being chased by police. Pixal helps her get away, and offers to help patch Garmadon up, claiming to have extensive first-aid training (she spends the walk downloading as much medical information as she can)

After making sure Garmadon isn’t going to die, Pixal and Nya talk for a bit before Pixal leaves. During this conversation, Nya unintentionally inspires Pixal to start actively working against Wu. She starts snooping more, discovering the pieces of the Falcon, and she eventually creates the persona of Samurai X.

Pixal codes some combat-oriented software for herself, that allows her to observe how others fight and then perfectly copy them, as well as secretly fabricating all of her own gear.

Eventually, after some more plot stuff, Pixal fully joins the Duo, helping them shut down the powerstation and the Nindroid Army...

...and Pixal herself.

My inbox is open for any questions about this au!

[ikissjude]

how enhypen would spend your birthday with you

genre fluff. warnings none. word count 887.

— a/n: hello lovelies! i hope you all are well 🥺 i meant to write the earlier and post it last week but i’ve been super busy! i made this since august 19th was my birthday (i turned 18!!) and i had some ideas about what enha would do, and then the next day i had to get moved into my college dorm. but, i’m here now and college has started so posts will be especially slow! anyways, i hope you all enjoy this!

♡ — lee heeseung

arcade date!

hee loves playing games

and he also loves winning

his whole plan is to win you a stuffed animal

a pro at basketball and shooting games

loves showing off his skills to you

but when it’s time to go against each other?

honey you’re in for a treat 😫

you win and he’s STUNNED

you also beat him at air hockey and he just has no words

in the end you let him beat you at some games so he could actually win you a stuffed animal

♡ — park jongseong

shopping and dinner date!

our boy jongseong is very much all about his s/o

and when it comes to special events, like your bday

he just wants to spoil you no matter what

so that’s what he does! he takes you to a shopping center and he lets you get whatever you may like

takes you to expensive stores and lets you model for him

also might’ve picked out some outfits for you himself

picks out your whole fit for your dinner date afterwards

takes you to a top restaurant with the finest food and wine for dinner ‼️

♡ — sim jaeyun

café date!

yun would spend a long time researching the perfect and prettiest café to take you to

one that has all of your favorite desserts and ones you’ve always wanted to try

picks the most aesthetically pleasing corner in the café for you to take your insta pics

your personal photographer too!! he knows your angles well 😁

he insists on feeding you bites of your dessert </3

just bc he finds it so cute when your cheeks go pink

loves doing the cliches where he’s wiping foam off of your lips

♡ — park sunghoon

ice skating date!

he chose to go to the rink on purpose

now if you know how to ice skate, you’re in the clear!

but if you don’t know how to skate…

you’re holding onto him for dear life

and you know he only did this so you could be close to him 🙄

takes your hands and tries to get you to spin around

but you fall into his arms

when you’re off to the side clinging to the wall he shows off his moves since you love them so much

but he also wants you to skate as much as possible !! even if you fall he’s there 🥺

your whole bday date was just endless hand holding and falling into hoon’s arms

♡ — kim sunoo

art museum date!

his whole plan is to take you and just admire you while you look at the art

he took you to the art museum since you had been planning on seeing an exhibit that just opened

and he loved when your face lit up as he told you that he got tickets for it

hand holding! for almost the entire time

you get to one specific piece that you just absolutely adore

as you were admiring it you can hear sunoo snapping a picture from behind you

immediately makes it his wallpaper!!

and at another piece he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his chin on top of your head

just so you two could look at the piece together

for the rest of the day you two talk about your favorite pieces and your interpretations of them

♡ — yang jungwon

picnic date!

lmao i chose this bc of his en-log

the night before your picnic he’s packing tons of foods

mini sandwiches, strawberries, oranges, lemonade, cookies, etc.

and he has a cute lil picnic basket and blanket at the ready

takes you to han river for your date!

wonie also brought a polaroid camera to take pictures of you

you guys spend your day talking and admiring the view

and maybe also admiring each other :)

after eating you guys are laid out watching the clouds float by

and you fall asleep and jungwon’s just watching you sleep so peacefully like 🥺

♡ — nishimura riki

amusement park date!

riki loves things that are thrilling

and tbh if you were dating him i think you would also enjoy those things too

so what better way to spend your bday than take you to an amusement park!

you guys go with absolutely no plan whatsoever, just vibes

taking turns dragging each other to different rides

you also drag him on the viking three times in a row but he doesn’t mind

just as long as you guys get to go on a roller coaster three more times as well

although he’s not one to match with his s/o, he lets you get matching headbands to wear around the park 🥺

after the day winds down he takes you on a ferris wheel and you guys kiss at the top 🙈

© ikissjude 2021