#but will be back in like. idk. 10 or so hours??
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im basically back so i'm doing this even though nobody will read it lol (i dont even blame you because look at all that TEXT)
Do you have a good relationship with your parents? not really i guess? it's complicated so imma just say nah
Who did you last say “I love you” to? i think to my dog lol
Do you regret anything? i regret writing rpf as a kid 💀 i also regret smacking my little brother's butt to discipline him as a kid. it goes against my stance of 'don't hit children' that i have today and i do feel real bad about it, i just emulated the parenting techniques i knew at that age.
Are you insecure? HELLA lmao
What is your relationship status? single as FUCK boiiiiiiiiiii
How do you want to die? peacefully and in my sleep with my puppies laying next to me
What did you last eat? right now i'm eating crackers
Played any sports? used to be a bit of a discus prodigy as a kid, and was also not a half-bad sprinter. i danced from 2-12 as well and also enjoyed chess. nowadays i don't play any sports
Do you bite your nails? i do on occasion but i try not to
When was your last physical fight? i've never been in one. maybe with my sister when we were kids? idk
Do you like someone? kind of? if that makes sense
Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? no. but i've tried for sure lol
Do you hate anyone at the moment? yeah, but by now it's a dormant hate that just lingers
Do you miss someone? is it possible to miss someone you haven't met irl before?
Have any pets? two doggos!
How exactly are you feeling at the moment? neutral, but like a 6/10
Ever made out in the bathroom? i mean a lot of people pee in the woods right so technically yeah
Are you scared of spiders? i'm desensitised mostly, like if i see one i won't kill it (unless i KNOW it's dangerous). if the spider is on me it's a different story
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? i literally always think about this lol. there's so much i wish i could change but at the same time, even though i don't like myself, i don't think i deserve to be put through all that again
Where was the last place you snogged someone? the gay bar
What are your plans for this weekend? moving lol
Do you want to have kids? How many? i would usually say 'i'm 20 i'm too young to consider it yet' but one of my classmates from highschool has a baby already so i don't know man T-T
Do you have piercings? How many? just on my ears
What is/are/were your best subject(s)? english and legal studies in highschool, and psychology now.
Do you miss anyone from your past? i reminisce but don't miss
What are you craving right now? a warm brownie would be great
Have you ever broken someone’s heart? HE said i did, i don't believe him, but even if i did he deserved it (trust me on this one. he deserved it.)
Have you ever been cheated on? not that i'm aware of, but i wouldn't be surprised if i was
Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? not that i'm aware of. i hope not??
What’s irritating you right now? the heat. i'm not having a hot girl summer at all T-T
Does somebody love you? i hope so
What is your favourite color? i like baby and dusty pink. and lilac
Do you have trust issues? i'm pretty sure
Who/what was your last dream about? last night i dreamt that i was in a relationship with pt4 jotaro. he was quiet, gentle and loving. this is weird because i am female
Who was the last person you cried in front of? i think my mother? if not then probably my bestie
Do you give out second chances too easily? yes, sadly
Is it easier to forgive or forget? it's hard for me to forgive someone if they don't at least apologise. so i guess forget
Is this year the best year of your life? it's february, but like hopefully yeah!
How old were you when you had your first kiss? sweet 16
Have you ever walked outside completely naked? no T-T
Favourite food? fried chicken, one specific chocolate cake, yellow nectarines and sushi
Do you believe everything happens for a reason? not in the way others do
What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? watched scott cramer
Is cheating ever okay? usually i'd say no. but there are rare instances where i reckon it's not necessarily a bad thing (as bad as that might sound)
Are you mean? i don't think so
How many people have you fist fought? none?? T-T
Do you believe in true love? yes
Favourite weather? dark and overcast (not raining), cool but not cold
Do you like the snow? i've only been in snow once and it was a good time. but i got ice in my eye during a snowball fight and it scarred me a little bit
Do you wanna get married? for sure i do! i know most people think of marriage culture as outdated and heteronormative (which i fully understand) but i do want to be a bride one day. i'd love that
Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? hm...when a girl does it i don't mind but when a boy does it it feels a little icky IM SORRY </3
What makes you happy? clowns, stuffed toys, colourful soap, poofy sleeves, tbh i'm really a six year old at heart and a lot of things make me happy
Would you change your name? okay so i wouldn't legally change my first name (i don't often like when people besides my family use it, but it's rare and pretty so i wanna keep it), but i would like to make Dia my legal alias that would be so sick. i would for sure change my last name though that shit boring asf
Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? no. i'd kiss her again she was nice
Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? i'd marry and adopt kittens with you @jesterph0bic
Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? refer to question 55
Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my brother (hbd btw)
Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my sister
Do you believe in soulmates? yes but not in the traditional way
Is there anyone you would die for? yes
70 horrible questions ... Fuck it
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?
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Mist Worlds; Magic
This week I'm rambling out the magic types of the Mist Worlds so yeahhh
Not every world has a native magic, but if people settle there they bring their magic with them? It's kinda related to bloodline/original world shenanigans but like with Asin and Merrok, different magic types can crop up in the same family
People from magic families who don't themselves have magic (like Briony) tend to be called Neutrals
Feral Mage
animal companions!
heightened senses/share thoughts etc
can bond into one body if well enough in tune, which - if done well - affords some... extra generally elemental power (see; Jasper, Llinos)
- exceptions exist where it gets a little funky (see; Kaua, Willow)
- "legacy" ferals are when a family bond exclusively with one type of creature (see; Llinos/Tamhas/Tadhg's family of foxes) and the magic flows stronger, which affords some Stronger Elementalism once bonded (see; Llinos)
if it's not done well, become something known as Demon Souled where they're at war with themselves and highly antagonistic. Can be calmed but takes practice/control. volatile elemental magic (see; Skilkran, almost-maybe Jasper)
Green Witch
destruction all the way my guys
probably needs a different way
comes with a hefty allergy to getting wet (see; Lisetta)
Arch Mage
horrifically OP - these are the ones that sealed the dragons and stabilised the gates - and proud of it (see; Skir Aracel)
using their magic comes at the cost of their sanity. Bigger spells take more
useful for lifting curses, battle magic
Glyph/Runic Mage
known as glyph on their home world and runic on the world they've otherwise populated
carved/painted into items that can then be activated by anyone
easy to fuck up and change the meaning by like a brush stroke (see; Kriemhild)
can be used to mimicked other types of magic (see; Rhiannon)
one use only
Versatile
intention based - includes shapeshifters until that magic is stolen from them and becomes its own subset (see; Harne)
the first mages were a dancer's guild so every spell is linked to movement (see; Kai, Kiya, Sarin, Elfionn)
lots of little subtypes! Merlie is a spy so has don't-notice and eavesdrop as her main skills
after the Alisier eats magic and Kaithr releases it, all the little subtypes become their own branches and no one can dip in and out of them
Sea Witch
one of the magics not really open to humans on accounts of it not being one of their worlds
(specialised Weather Witches can get here but Oof)
it's the mermaid to naga pipeline (mermaids being the young and more fresh water based, some interaction with land people. Once they reach a certain age, the Changes happen and they become naga, which are exclusively salt water but can come up on land for stretches of time)
Charm Witch
sort of like glyph mages in that it's carved/worked into things and can be used by anyone
more of a ritual aspect in how it's cast on the item, involving pulling the aspect from something else to place in it (see; Tamar pulling heat from candles to make her rings/scarf warm at a breath)
recharges slowly
from one of the destroyed worlds
Techno Mage
siphon off electricity from anything with a current/energy (see; Asin), Fuck Around And Find Out with tech (see; Seth)
accidentally created time travel? not harnessed until the Far Future (and yet Saturday and Siofra are here anyway)
most at home on high-tech world, but can operate anywhere. One of the few people to be able to transport their tech from world to world without it breaking down
Visualisation
Illusionists!
power depends on how believable they make their image - the more people believe it's real, the more likely it is to affect the world around it (see; Razar)
from one of the destroyed worlds
Transference
not initially Open For Humans, but gradually gifted out in Times of Great Need
can split/share power by halfing and halfing and halfing again, either self (see; Talisha) or items (see; Lucy) and use their attributes
can be gifted to people even if they're not of this world (see; Basil)
Peace Broker
Another non-human magic! (see; Akeri)
make pacts/agreements with spirits and the like. useful for combatting Erinty (see; The Tricksters)
mostly pacts for temporary power, "I'll borrow this for this" kinda bargains, but can be permanently binding depending on the wording 'n' such. A little light necromancy is possible (see; Taerne)
Sorceror/Warlock
used interchangeably but more like DnD Warlocks than sorcerors oops
made a pact with one of the elder gods at the centre of the worlds, which affects what kind of spells they can cast
get a pact animal/conduit to access their god to beg for power
Weather Witch
elemental shenanigans!
Very clanny
rare that a person has more than one... type? but has been known to happen (see; Ris, who is an OP example and the impetus for the SHTwins set of stories)
useful in groups for... well, controlling the weather. You want good sunshine and warmth for an outdoor event? talk to your local weather witch clan
Soul Mage
does in fact have a whole ramble on it somewhere (over here) but paraphrasing here
healing/interrogation/biometric locks are its main applications
can be sunk into gems for access later so the creator doesn't have to use up their own life to power it (unless they're the one using it, at which point they just. feel slightly ill? possibly faint depending on how much they're using/how used to it they are)
can also be used for mind control! we got puppet people! Noticeably does not work on fully bonded ferals. Please don't. This is how you end up with an angry lynx that has access to fire.
#world building#Mist Worlds#Magic types#anyway beans I have things I need to do before work oops#so I've gotta dash#but will be back in like. idk. 10 or so hours??#some of them are more thought out than others obvs#this has taken me a while to type out purely bc I distracted myself making dumb bg3 things for my flatmate and me#worth it
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"I'm the dog they put with cheetahs to keep them from going crazy in captivity" x "I'm the cheetah that is threatening to go crazy" 4 ever
(I make a webcomic about them)
#GODDDDDDDDDDD I love them#theyre so.....#I just.#good. theyre good#I need the comic to come back NOW...#no I dont. I havent finished enough yet#I've finished 7 episodes so I gotta make 3 more minimum but 8 more ideally. which is. a big gap..#anyways I got up early to draw this cause I couldnt sleep#and someone shared it in a server I'm in and I was like. oh I have to#but now I'm super tired and I can sleep#so good night. enjoy my beautuful art of my beautiful vampires#'good ngiht' it is 10 30 am.#sleep. she betrays me yet again.#anyways working on coming back working on kickstarter stuff working on book 4#working on commissions working on my patreon...#work work work work#trying to be forgiving of myself LOL working like 50-70 hours a week and still feeling like its not enough#imagine if I WASNT on meds rn. I'm focusing better and there's still just way too much sheesh#super need some support but also I'm chillin#I was assigned an editor and she has not given me a single note#so I'm like uhhh. rlly feeling aimless and lonely#I'm doing very good work its some of my best stuff#but...#yeah. idk. just a lot HAHAHA#but I got like 45 mins to do a quick drawing#for my mental health...#time and time again#adam and steve#ttawebcomic#adam
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holy shit time flies...
#random#idk the other day i was just looking at the sun coming through my window and it dawned on me#life changed so much in the last 11 years#for the best... but damn#i'd only want to go back in time#only for my health#but i would never give up all the experiences i went through#the friendships made and lost#the failures and victories#ig it really is just life#it still makes me laugh tho how back in the days i had my majora wallpaper#fast forward and one of my best friend gifted me the 3D figurine... ig some things never change#i'll always be a mm fan and i love her sm#but really...#the fucking disgusting chair with pillows in 2013?#disguting#i didn't care tho... i was a poor student who lived constantly for 7 years under 1k in my bank account OTL#i usually hang my left over merch because...#idk#i want to be proud to look at them too#i spend HOURS ON THOSE T0T#then i got that one other wall that's just craking down with artist merch OTL#it's weird to feel like you've lived a long time now...#like i remeber very clearly 10+ years ago#it's so strange...
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not even a furry nor have i ever been but i wanna make a kemono mask of eevee lowkey. i feel like i could do it, given im a cosplay newbie and pulled off my candyman cosplay very well imo
#kind of an impulse project like my other cosplays but as a complete newbie to cosplay and given how well my candyman one turned out i THINK-#i could do it#all my love for eevee and pokemon in general i had as a 10 year old suddenly came back to me and ive been putting serious hours into-#pokemon platinum lol#kemono fursuit heads are so cute to me idk it reminds me of eevees face#i always wanna learn new crafts randomly bc i think theyd be fun#stereotypical adhd artist thing
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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some of my friends n family have been asking to commission knitting projects from me 4 the holidays so i l accepted a handful of projects and they r being so niceys to meeeee
#i feel rly under qualified but i’m rly only accepting projects of things ive made before already or that i feel rly confident i can do well#i also feel bad charging ppl so i’m pretty much just having them cover the yarn cost lol but they r all very generous tippers which i didnt#even consider or account for 🥺#but at my job i am able to knit all day long so smaller gift-y items get finished quickly bc i basically spend my 10 hour shifts knitting#but idk ! its kind of fun#i typically have a hard time holding momentum on gift knits so having a small amount of incentive to keep making them makes it so much more#fun and fulfilling !!!#they r getting a very good deal by just paying for yarn + a tip if they choose and i am getting to make gifts w more consistent motivation#anyway idk it’s just fun to me i’m rly excited to ship out this stuff#it’s like pretty much ALL going back to my hometown 🥺#so far it’s all mittens gloves scarves + socks which i loveeee knitting#anyway if anyone is interested in a good deal on a handmade knit item from someone who is learning all the time + likes to keep busy#send me a dm <3#personal#knitting
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okay so tonight I sat down & drew & scribbled a bunch of drafts in my notebook to decompress and it definitely helped. It was really difficult to write at home but I think being in the mountains & hiking and spending time with loved ones has helped me a lot. I’m supposed to go home Wednesday & I’m going to see how going home affects me, but I’m hoping that I will be able to do some writing & engage in my hobbies when I get home ❤️
#ooc.#tbd.#I do fully expect the first day home to be really terrible#i just have been dreading walking in the apartment#bcs all my cats look down at me when I go up the staircase#and tube would always be like 👁👁 waiting#but I am hoping that spending some time away from home is going to make is easier to process when I get there#lowkey I’m gonna stop by my dads and visit her grave when I get home also#idk I’ve cried a lot but I’ve also had some undeniably good times#so it’s been kind of odd#I feel very lucky that my loved ones have been here to support me#i also went back to Shenandoah and now me and that park are 1-1#it whooped my ass last time I went and hiked but this time I Fucking Won#( to be fair last time was a 10 hour hike and this one was like 1 1/2 but I’ll take the win )#but those hiking endorphins got me feeling NICE#I didn’t realize how much I rely on writing to decompress tho until I took a weeks break#idk shits been crazy it’s been like emtoional whiplash there have been lots of highs & lows u know??
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i’ve been up like 3hrs & 2/3 of each hour has been me shitting & suffering like
#stream#shitposting#still don’t know the shitting tag#me after the first: ok i’ll have to shit again in a few hours but i can calm down for 10 mins then get things done (hopeful) ((mistakenly))#like ok so u want to go back (suffers worse than the first) But feels GOOD LIKE WE’RE DONE & WE STILL HAVE TIME TO GET TO VODAFONE#as soon as i got dressed & finished brushing my teeth here she COMES for the fuckin KILL#& now i know im not going to be able to get to fucking vodafone ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLA#maybe i can get to ikea but im cowering in a corner (in my head) ((literally im shitting rn & it feels like my asshole has been stabbed but#it’s not that bad like 3/10 i’ve had worse))#but idk i feel like there’s going to be a fourth in there & what fuckin SUCKS is that this bitch is SOLID so it’s not even like i can take#anti diarrheals bc i don’t …. NEED IT TO BE MORE SOLID IF IT WERE A LITTLE LESS THAT WOULD BE GRAND#i’m so fucking exhausted#& i still have shit to do#she’s got the crampys#& THATS WHAT U GET U GLUTTONOUS CLOWN UR LACTOSE INTOLERANT & ATE 5/7 OF A LARGE PIZZA#but that was like#the first thing i actually ate in like 3 days#anyway AKSKALSKALKSLKSLKSALSLA at least u have CALORIES#or at least had#did i absorb them probably not#not the point#that’s why u have ur vitamins which u hold as gospel
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genuinely i think ive spent less than 10 of the past 72 hours awake
#which like. im glad i only spent less than 10 of the past 72 hours in pain#but also#holy fuck ive been sleeping a lot#idk what it is—if its the pain itself or the meds i take or what—but i am *very* good at sleeping when im in pain#this is why i normally sleep thru most of my cramps#i just wake up when my meds start wearing off#take some more#and then go back to sleep lol#anyway#my shoulder does feel *better* rn#but it seems to always feel better when i first wake up#and then it gets worse and worse the longer im awake for#so we'll see
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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i know that i’m an outlier in this but why the fuck is everything in college so late
#em posts#why are all the events at fucking 9pm#and it’s not even like parties and shit#the fucking catholic student center mass is at 9:15#NINE AT NIGHT#and yk it’s gonna take like an hour and a half bcs it’s catholic mass#so then you won’t be back before 11#and it’s during the week too#like what the fuck are y’all doing#everyone’s bitching and moaning about not getting enough sleep#maybe if you weren’t doing supplies bingo until 10:30 you wouldn’t be tired#idk maybe i’m just an old loser#but if im not in bed by 9 something has gone awry in my life
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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its past midnight and here i am planning a sweater i have neither the materials nor funds to make
#once 10:30 hits i enter a fugue state and i just start making shit#i was like making little drawings and grid patterns and looking at knitting patterns for few hours and then 10 hit-#-and i was like ohh. okay so i have to make a mockup right now#so i put on one of these really long series recap videos and just went to town with the yarn and needles i had#im not going to use these colours (maybe the same cream shade but i dont have enough rn anyways) bc i want a darker green#but idk if i will use a different weight of yarn im not sure about that yet#i think it looks really good in just standard weight (worsted or w/e) but ik it would take a v long time and strain my wrists/arms a lot :(#so idk what i will do about that. maybe ill look at the same style of sweater but w/ thicker yarn to see examples#basically i want to make one of those christmas sweaters that have the patterns at the top + bottom trim but tma style#its supposed to look like open and closed eyes if that wasnt clear#and i might do lettering in the middle if it will fit? i wanted to do the whole ''ceaseless watcher'' phrase but it would def not fit sooo#just the name is fine. i will maybe put one on each side (front + back) or if theres room for like 3+ than i could do a repeating pattern#its going to take a lot of math + planning tho so O_o wish me luck#i dont even have yarn yet lol idk what im talking about#i gotta get to bed....#tma#the magnus archives#ceaseless watcher#my art#kinda#knitting is art
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it's literally not a good idea in any way shape or form but I want to get a second job in fast food
#it's not a good idea bc the wages are GARBAGE compared to retail#Macca's base rate for my age is less than half my sunday rate#and they don't get much beyond the base rate#whereas retail we have an incredible base rate AND more weekdays past 6pm and weekends (sat is the same as mon-fri 6pm#and sunday is significantly more)#and like yeah im not getting many shifts but if i were to ask for more I still wouldn't be able to work more than 4 hour shifts til july#bc my retail corporation is surprisingly ethical and extends the age limits by a lot#whereas my friend has a 7.5 half hour shift tomorrow AFTER school. on a week night 😁#which is actually horrifying and should nawwt be legal. thats school 9-3 (+20 min) then work 4-11:30 btw#like i should just wait til my birthday in july n ask for more shifts in retail but i want to try fast food#even though the pay is incredibly ridiculously bad (<10 AUD) (yes our adult minimum wage is a good ~23 but under 21 is a percentage of that#like the pay is so bad so i would earn the same or more doing wayy less hours than retail#but i kinda want to get the fast food experience bc it'll be more difficult to get hired as i age#bc i want to save up 20k for top surgery but at the rate im going it'll be difficult to have even thay#let alone savings after top surgery or money to get a car before#and as school gets more difficult it'll be harder to work more#so maybe i should just grind for a few months or til the end of the year then go back to retail exclusively?#and enjoy higher pay and some longer shifts?#but idkkk it's just such a dilemma bc i want more shifts than I'll get at retail but fast food pays so little#but i also really want the experience and to just try it out#im gonna. idk im gonna sit on it for a bit bc i want to get my legal name change sorted before i apply to any second jobs and that will#take a while#so i shall consider. draw up a timetable. write a pros and cons list#yes that sounds like a solid plan#whoop typo but im on mobile i meant 'wayy less hours IN retail'#oscar.exe
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Am I insane for being annoyed when ppl message you for something on marketplace, you finally see their message after like an entire day because you've been busy or asleep, and the messages just read like "hi I'll pick up today.", "Is this still available?", "?"
Like I'm SLEEPING bro I'm sorry but also leave me alone idc anymore keep your money
#sucktacular sucks#idk its mostly probably me but the message after message and then the singular ? is like#naw idc about making $10 anymore leave me ALONE#like im gonna say its 50/50 on like that is actually annoying/im being a weenie ass#im a terrible person to list shit on marketplace... cuz like i would gladdly sell all my shit in one go#or like the day or two after#but its always a week later 10 ppl message about the same item and it slike#idk come on.... lets coordinate with my shitty brain better#i need to just get onto poshmark or some shit where i can just ship things out whenever#cuz tbh dealing with the hell in my brain of having to meet someone face to face to make $5-$10 MULTIPLE TIMES#kinda jsut sucks#but also i need cash so its stupid of me to complain#this is a personal problem i know i know#i feel bad about it but also............ ppl on marketplace are so often rude and annoying tbh#like the amount of ppl ive had like send me weird passive aggressive messages just is deranged#shout out to that one guy that never heard back from me because he just sent a single message saying#'useless' cuz i didnt respond in 8 hours (was sleeping cuz my schedule is sleep during the day)#im so sorry to my girlies that are like this.#mutuals id be the most patient for you and it wouldnt cost me a singular social energy#random ppl being rude i will bite you and never respond back#im the problem but also... u_u i knows it and idk what to say
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