#the friendships made and lost

[yamsgarden]

holy shit time flies...

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[kohakhearts]

satogou + tvtropes

[sukibenders]

Me, waking up and remembering how Condal and Hess made Laena into the disposable black girlfriend (wife in this case, not that they even bother to mention it more than once) and had her die more horrifically than in the books (possibly to boost the yte characters), had Daemon and Rhaenyra sleep together during her funeral, have her two daughters be ignored by their father for his second wife's kids, had all three of them become shells of their book counterparts and given less grace by the fandom than in similar regards to the majority yte characters, only for those who called out these actions to be deemed simply "anti Rhaenyra" or just be told they lack media literacy:

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

Extremely, incredibly loose train of self-deprived thought, but something that Destiny touches upon in numerous ways that I really enjoy is the concept of entitlement and being deserving, especially with Destiny’s context of the Winnower and Gardener.

A sense of entitlement is embedded in many of the beliefs of antagonistic characters that allows them to feel justified in committing large scale acts of “might makes right”. They elevate themselves beyond everyone else in existence, often to the point of claiming godhood, on bases such as believing their understanding of the universe is superior to all others, their strength or cunning gives them the right to overpower others, their ability to climb up from rough origins is evidence that they are owed more from the cosmos than others, and more.

There are plenty of beliefs in Destiny that hinge on the fact that there are ways to prove that you are more deserving of power over others and existence than anyone else; that you are impressive enough that the universe should reward your adamance and your voice should resound louder than whole civilizations.

To a lot of characters with an enlarged sense of self, the inhabitants of the universe are pieces in a game meant for them to compete against or utilize in order to win; means to an end that will give them a sense of purpose or fulfillment that will remain when all else threatens to fall to the inevitability the Winnower tells of.

The competitiveness the Winnower cherishes is mimicked in these supposed certainties, even from beings that don’t claim fealty to it.

People look at the struggles of existence and confuse that for the most prominent, and therefore most important, facet of existing. They think they can “win” at existence by triumphing against its struggles and perpetuating them, no matter its cost to others who must “lose”.

Yet, when I think of characters feeling entitled to a higher position that allows them to determine what treatment everyone should be granted by them, I think of the quote from the game A Night in the Woods that goes “So I believe in a universe that doesn’t care, and people who do”.

Satisfyingly enough, these Destiny characters meet resistance and circumstances that show their feelings of “objective” superiority can be shattered by those they try to conquer, showing that there is no way to truly elevate yourself above others in a way the universe respects enough to defend, only ways to deceive yourself into thinking you are different from beings exactly like you and that life is to be won, not merely experienced.

There are always people who care and will join together to defeat those that think that if they deserve more, others must deserve less, and time after time, the communal show the entitled that the universe didn’t care about them before their “ascent” and won’t care about them after.

The Winnower’s conditional love and approval won’t save you from it seeking others when the cycle of life and death finds you like any other. The Winnower will not come to you in your hour of need.

Villainous characters spend so much of their lives letting the cruelty of reality determine the extent of their philosophies instead of understanding that they are cheating themselves out of the value of communal support and the infinite possibilities of living no objective purpose allows for.

When Ghaul reasoned that him climbing out of his life as an abandoned orphan to become Dominus should mean he deserved the light more than others, he forfeited what he was already entitled to (a chance of defining his own life and creating his own meaning) to gain what had no inherent value (the approval of a “god”) at the expense of forming potential bonds with those he trampled over.

Clovis Bray’s obsession with assuring the importance of his bloodline at any cost lead to him losing the respect of his family and everyone who would meet him for what in return? Him stroking his own ego? The ability to brag about what he achieved to forests that don’t have to be dark?

“I am reminded of my home. I am reminded of the warmth of the sun and the embrace of my family. I am reminded of my father’s face. I am reminded of everyone I betrayed. All the blood spilled in the name of immortality. The warmth of the sun burns me with its memory. What is this feeling? I do not want it.” - Savathûn, Hawkmoon lore tab

Destiny often speaks about things that it believes everyone is entitled to, in line with the philosophies of the Gardener, based solely off of the fact that they are a being with sentience: free will, autonomy, an individual pursuit for purpose, etc.

These do not have to be earned or won, let alone proven to those who make themselves the judges of others while standing on the same level as them. You are alive and that is enough.

The acknowledgment that others being alive is enough for them to deserve the ability to make their own fate, free from the violence of others, allows for acts of mutualism/commensalism when others only prioritize individual adaptive fitness.

You have just as much as a say on where you think meaning lies as people who seem grander than reality, and by acknowledging that you don’t have to submit to conclusions that could possibly be drawn from natural laws or the silence of the stars, you open up the possibility of the enrichment community can bring.

By seeing your existence and freedom as an entitlement, you make it non-negotiable and by respecting the entitlements of others, you open up the possibility of joining arms to find against those who think autonomy should not be a guarantee.

I think I’ve thought about this for far too long and written about it too poorly.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I'm not ready to shut up about Aveline and Carver--so, when you go see Aveline in Act 1, you can catch up with her a little bit and that's where this conversation can happen:

Aveline: "It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you, Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar?" Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.

I wanted to see what she would say if Carver isn't in the party. Instead, she says this:

Aveline: Carver was there. I imagine he feels something similar. If he allows it.

......well, at least she didn't call him a tit?

[sparklingchim]

[constantvariations]

ACoTaR: Under the Mountain

ACoMaF: first dinner with the Inner Circle

Inch resting

[sketchnskribbles]

[akkivee]

me, stubborn asf: why the hell do you keep trying to change your narrative the earrings are samatoki related drama no matter what points you can concede we’ve been thinking this since 2018 stop—

brain unable to stop thinking about ichiro’s earrings: okay but he and samatoki were on a team for a while before he got those piercings and got them only after kuukou left and kuukou similarly changed his prayer beads after he left ichiro they used to be all black but he added two red beads on them it can’t be a coincidence if iT LINES UP SO WELL—

[iant0jones]

Well, I have officially made it past 26, which for the past 10 years was the age I kind of assumed I wouldn’t make it past.

So, here’s to 27. Here is to the rest of my life

[finalfantasyx]

"她還能撐多久 你便還能悟多久" | "the longer she lasts, the longer you'll have to apprehend it."

-

"對帝王而言 有些珍貴是無關緊要的." | "to an emperor, there are precious things that become unimportant."

-

SNGX Xiaoluo gifset: [11/?]

for @a-sea-with-no-shores, Qianluo's incredible six-hour standoff as promised months ago--and all my Xiaoluo babies. Tagging @jianghushenanigans, @eunuch-enjoyer5, and @feng-huli. Merry Christmas :)

-

bonus:

[tuituipupu]

having an overly controlling childhood best friend radicalised me

[apricote]

fun fact: he’s 6′11″ feet tall and bisexual.

[psychopomp-namine]

.

[spacedlexi]

i actually love thinking about preS4 vinerva and how their relationship deteriorates throughout the season and how it relates to the clemvi romance and just violets character in general but unfortunately some people cant be normal about them so instead i just gotta keep it to myself