#but whenever im home on long island everyone says on line

[aerkame]

Hi this is the person who had a lot of finfolk Howdy feelings. This turned into a wall of text so i completely understand if you decide not to post it

So this might be a bit of a ramble, and I don’t know much about finfolk lore. So I apologize if something doesn’t line up with the original lore, or I accidentally say something that conflicts with something you’ve previously mentioned.

Im imagining that Reader is a puppet from the port town on the mainland—the one that the neighbors commonly visit.

The mortal most likely meets Howdy for the first time during one of his trips to his restaurant. They had taken to going there on their lunch break and soon become a regular. Howdy is probably going by an alias and has shifted into another, smaller form (by his standards. he still towers over Reader) Still, he's outgoing by nature, and strikes up a conversation with the mortal.

They both find that they enjoy each other's company. Sometimes they can't talk for too long (the restaurant is busy. the mortal's work keeps them late. Howdy leaves for Home) but when they do meet, they find that time flies by.

Reader does take note of how he (very stylishly) keeps his arms and hands covered and how he's averse to touch. They assume it's a sensory thing.

Eventually, Reader opens up about their plans for their future. Specifically about their wanderlust. They talk about all the places they want to travel to-- major coastal cities, island nations-- places that, if they went, he could follow.

But, during another visit, Reader expands their list - backpacking through the country, hiking in the mountains, riding camels in the desert. And Howdy finds himself feeling very... possessive.

The more Howdy speaks to Reader, the more Reader opens up, and with that they begin to vent. They start to talk about an annoying thing their friend did, workplace drama, family gossip...

(this can be interpreted in two ways.

Either Howdy hears these minor annoyances and gossip, and builds them up into signs of a dangerous situation. Further justifying his possessiveness over Reader.

OR Reader really isn't in a good place on the mainland, but they just brush off any abuse like it's nbd. Meaning they're also not likely to catch onto any red flags Someone Else might be raising)

Whenever Howdy returns Home he gives updates on news from the mainland. That news can span from anything from major world events, any possible treats to them and Home, to simple gossip.

The neighbors start to notice Reader coming up often in these little updates. He mentions them more and more with each visit. And eventually the neighbors' eyes start to drift towards Wally.

Howdy was starting to sound like Eddie after he met Frank.

Maybe it was time to have a chat with Home...

Wonderlust is my new favorite word, next to sublime. Also I wanted to write only the aftermath of the neighbors asking Home for permission because I am already writing an x Howdy and I don't want to ruin that sweet sweet angst/romance. >.>

TW: Mentions plans of kidnapping and drugging, anything in Finfolk nature is a TW really.

It was no secret to everyone at this point that Howdy had eyes for you. The only problem was that you lived on the mainland and you were making plans to leave soon. Sure, it would be easy to just track you down again, but it would be better to have things done more quickly to attract less attention on things. It's hard having to keep track of witnesses and making mind-altering potions. Plus, they hate having to go through all the effort of pretending to be police or other government officials.

The rest of the neighbors seemed fine with you in all honestly. Having met you in person themselves in one form or another, they think you'd be a fine addition to their little island. All they needed was the approval of Home.

But of course, it wasn't difficult at all to get Home's approval. He already knew this entire time having watched you from his crystal baptismal font as the water kept rippling from place to place looking for your location. He's sure your adventurous nature would love what the peninsula and it's waters had to offer. They had surrounding reefs, caverns filled with crystals, and many more smaller islands nearby, all full of colorful creatures that don't exist on the mainland or anywhere else.

Now it was just a matter of getting you back home that needed to be taken care of. One of the neighbors could simply kidnap you in the dead of night, but you having a late-night job made things complicated. Either Howdy would need to invite you somewhere isolated where no one would be to do this or they would have to play things out slowly and wait for an opportunity.

No one wanted to wait however, from what things sounded like, things weren't exactly safe back at your own home and it seemed to be getting worse over time.

So, Howdy returned back onto the mainland with Sally and Frank.

Frank did his usual routine of shifting into a new person and taking on the persona of a police officer (Who would of thought he made for a pretty good cop huh?) and Sally went in with the disguise of a sweet florist that worked just down the street from where you lived. No one would even bat an eye at what took place here.

Howdy or Sally may or may not have had involvement in the death of the person that hurt you…oh well, it's not like anyone would remember that guy anyways! Literally. Not even you would remember.

Howdy was the only one to go in without a disguise, or at least staying in the form you knew him as. He had invited you to his restaurant as a treat, as a date really. You happily accepted.

It was so nice, so peaceful, and you were so easily tricked.

All it took was just a single touch to your hand and everything started to feel numb as your body gave out under you. With bare hands, Howdy carried you to the back of the restaurant to make a B-line for the back door. Not a single customer batted an eye, and not one employee or waitress gave the scene a second thought.

You awoke to bright rays of sunlight on your face. Sitting up, you found yourself in what had to be the softest and largest bed you've ever been in. Everything still felt so...tingly? Numb? What happened?

"Ah, I'm so glad you're awake minnow!"

I wanted to mention that the waitresses and employees at Howdy's seafood restaurant are cute remora dogs and shark dogs. Most of the customers tend to be sea-dwelling creatures like sirens, mermaids, etc.

[lesbianshepard]

tag where you're from if you answer and reblog

[wizkiddx]

i saw that you at least used to write for harry could u do another? like maybe im just a basic bitch but 'only one bed' trope or sm

Summary: honestly just me shitty attempt at the only one bed thing ahah with Harry Holland x reader

no warnings I don’t think apart from my ramabling :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God you were groggy. It had been a long 16 hour flight and you were well and truly completely over this day. Once you’d had some proper sleep, no doubt you will be beyond excited to explore the forest and beaches of this remote island in Indonesia. You were certain it was beautiful, even if you’d arrived in the dead of night so you couldn’t see any of the majesty yet. It was one of the joys of being Tom’s makeup artist - travelling the world and being paid for it? A literal dream. 

Except maybe the previous 24 hours. The Holland name carried a lot of weight in the world, but not enough to control typhoons across the tropics - there were some limitations to his power. And yes first class lounges were nice but none had beds to crash on during the 6 hour weather delay. The four of you (Tom, Harry, Andrew and yourself)  ended up camping out in a out-the-way corner. Tom got the long sofa; Andrew in one of those weird egg line chairs; you and Harry splayed on the floor. Why you’d had to get up at 4 am to catch a flight that was now not departing till 12 hours later actually hurt to think about - especially because you’d all gone out for a meal the night before that had inevitable went a lot later than planned. 

Two connecting flights with a very angry baby later, the four of you were checking in to the only hotel on the island - which was now almost exclusively filled with the production team for Tom’s newest movie. It wasn’t especially big-budget with massive million pound overheads, instead a smaller scale indie film (that you privately thought might earn Tom a number of accolades). But yeh, shooting on an island that received almost no tourism meant everything was different to the usual. None more so than for Tom and his team (including you) who he normally would look after very well, with the nicest hotel rooms or rental homes. 

The hotel was basic, you’d known that before you arrived but seeing is believing is it not? Most entertaining though, was seeing Tom’s face. Andrew was a well travelled older guy, he had stayed in some shitholes in his life. Equally you and Harry had both travelled when you were younger (you through inter railing and him in australia), so had stayed in hostels before. But for Hollywood star Tom Holland? The way he tilted his head to the side as if to say ‘really this place?’ did lift your spirits momentarily. 

Andrew had got his key first, bidding you all good night with a grunt, then Tom - who still seemed confused as to the whole arrangements. It left you and Harry at the small dingy reception, the warm glow of an old lantern-esque light fixing illuminating the place. The guy behind the desk was a smiley local and greeted you warmly, if incorrectly.

“Ah and finally the couple I see!” He spoke with a thick accent but still very clear English which had you questioning if this was just a translational error. Harry looked at you instantly, his eyes wide which made you scoff - him joining in, shaking his unruly curly mop emphatically.

“No no we um… we aren’t together.” All the while Harry pointed between the two of you, communicating through actions rather than just the language, given that you were both the very typical Brits abroad who hadn’t learnt the language of the place they were visiting. 

“Still under Holland name?” The guy asked in a perplexed manner, flicking through a book filled with cursive scribbles and scanning to see if he’d made a mistake. He checked one, then looked up nervously before checking the same page once again- you saw where this was going. ”We, we only have couples room down for you though? 3 double rooms is the booking for Holland.” 

It was late, you both stunk of a combination of plane and BO, you both just wanted your individual and respective beds. 

“Well can we get another room then?” Harry didn’t quite snap but there was still an impatientcy to his voice, which came out whenever he was a little agitated. Seeing the slightly worried look the mans eyes, you leaned onto the desk with a genuine smile. 

“Sorry we know its last minute and its not your fault, we’ve just had a really long flight.”

“I am terribly sorry miss but we are only small hotel and Hollywood has filled us up. I have no other rooms. I am truly sorry sir, ma’am.” The guy went from looking worried to terrified as Harrys jaw tensed up, you naturally squeezed his arm to try and ground him, instantly deciding that you’d just work it out. 

“No no it’s not your fault, don’t worry we’ll figure it out. Can I just get the key?”

Harry stepped back and let youtakeover proceedings, signing all the insurance documents etc and asking the man about the breakfast arrangements and such, though you saw him furiously typing on his phone and by the buzzing in your pocket- presumed he was messaging the group of you Tom, Andrew and himself. 

Once finished the guy pointed you on your way, up two flights of stairs and down a hall. The whole time Harry was muttering about how useless the other two were for not replying and also for making the wrong booking in the first place. If only you hadn’t been the last two to checkin, then it would’ve been someone else’s problem.

He felt especially guilty just because you were the only girl-  he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, hence why he was trying to locate his brother so they could share tonight till they got it figured out. The tension, combined with sleep deprivation, was palpable as you both walked in silence toward the room - Harry was trying to formulate a plan in his head as they did so. And honestly? You just couldn’t be bothered to deal with it. So, once you reached the door 57 holding the physical key (old school, rather than a key card) you just decided to address it. 

“Will you chill please?” 

“Well if my idiot broth-“

“Oh leave him be for god sake. If you’re okay with it I really don’t mind sharing with you tonight?” Not bothering to laugh at his slightly shocked expression with mouth hanging a little open, you fiddled with the key until the lock clicked open. From the entrance you had a pretty clear view of the whole room and… well, lets just say dated would be a fair expression - when compared to what you were used to? The floor was tiled and the bed was a small double, with some funky and slightly washed out prints of blue and red on the cover. The pillows looked a little limp, more like glorified pieces of cardboard than anything fluffy and comfortable. The walls were that yellowy magnolia shade that everyone in the UK had gone insane for in the 80s and there was an old school wooden wardrobe in the corner. 

Home for 5 weeks. 

With a shrug of your shoulders you entered, dumping your personal and work suitcases by the far wall carelessly - the higher priority action being to collapse on the bed. Doing so with an overdramatic huff, you let your eyes close but payed special attention to the delayed footsteps of Harry as he entered, then the slight creaking noise as he perched on the other side of the bed - no doubt looking at you, at least slightly fearfully. 

The relationship between you and Harry was complex to say the least. Well no… it should be, not on the face of it. You had met through work and made friends. And you wished it was that simple but alas, nothing ever really is. When you’d first worked with Tom you were in the tail end of a relationship you had long since forgotten about - literally meaningless, not worth the time and effort you’d put into it. From the start you’d had a feeling Harry was more interested in you than the average co-worker (even if your job and therefore co-workers were anything but normal and average) but you were in a relationship so nothing ever came. 

Then almost as if synchronised, just as you got out your relationship, Harry threw himself in the deep end with a girl he’d met through his family friends. Then the roles were somewhat reversed, you now spent a good chunk of your day just entertaining yourself with thoughts of the curly headed, slightly awkward, very-passionate-about-tea-making Holland. The cliche is so real - your always want what you cannot have. 

However, a couple months ago his relationship had fizzled and faded away leaving both of you in a sort of no mans land. The sort of not wanting to ruin the friendship situation. The subject was never broached by either you - except you assumed he was being tormented in a similar way to how you were by his big brother and Andrew. Never publicly, yet whenever you found yourself alone in a room with one of them (being Tom’s makeup artist that happened often enough) there would always be a sly dig. The chemistry was  so ‘obvious even a blind man could see it’. Somehow though, weeks of this and your were still stuck. Stuck in the middle. 

“You sure you’re alright with this?” His voice was gruffer and hoarser from the long journey but you could hear the self-consciousness and naivety in his tone, without having to peel your eyes open and look at his face. 

“I know your not a murder and plus, we shared the airport floor this morning… this is pretty much the same.” He hummed in acknowledgement so you carried on “and plus your pint sized.” That earned you a playful shove in the side as you sniggered, before pulling yourself up so you we now sitting next to him, legs hanging off the edge of the bed. His brown eyes searched deeply into yours, as if physically checking for any hint of regret or hesitation. “Don’t even dare offering to go on the floor.” 

“Okay okay okay!” Holding his hands up in surrender, you both laughed, breaking the peace of the late night of the remote Indonesian island. Once an impressive yawn interrupted you though, Harry proclaimed it was time for bed and shooed you into the bathroom to get changed and sorted. 

Honestly you were too tired and lazy to dig out your cleanser and skin stuff, instead opting to just splash a bit of water on your face before swapping into your pj shorts and an old tattered oversized tee. Once done you and Harry swapped, him coming out a couple minutes later in basketball shorts and a black loose fitting tee. 

It wasn’t awkward so to speak, more a sort of excited-tense atmosphere, which there was no doubt Harry was mainly responsible. The boy was jittery and on edge, which to put simply, you didn’t have the energy to reciprocate. 

With a quiet wish of goodnight to each other, Harry flicked off the bedside lamp and you both rolled to your respective edges of the bed, a large space of no mans land between you. In the middle. You know the first time you share a room with someone and you overthink everything? When you don’t want to move about or fidget too much in case it disturbs the other? When your listening intently to their breathing, in the hope it’ll even out and only then will you feel able to fall asleep yourself? 

Well it doesn’t work when both of you are doing it. When both of you are professional over thinkers. 

God knows how long it took till you gave up, favouring sleep over your worries and concerns. So you flipped over, no doubt rocking the whole bed, turning to face his back that was still huddled almost teetering off the edge of the bed. The only light within the whole room was that coming under the actually scarily large gap between the floor and the door to the hallway. It was just enough to see the back of Harry’s curls and you must’ve fallen asleep trying to trace all the torturous and windy routes of the strands.

///////////

In the morning the process of waking up didn’t come easy to you as normal for many reasons; the long day prior; the jet lag; the weird surroundings. So you stayed in this sort of blissful haze for probably longer than you should. Half aware but not really; half asleep but not quite. In the middle  of sleep and alertness. Therefore it took you longer than it should have to notice the extra weight on the dip of your waist. Not anything alarming, just a presence you were absolutely not used to. It was only when you shifted a bit to lie further on your back, that enough of a stimulus from the added pressure made you actually open your eyes blearily. And sure enough, a limp hand looked to have casually and unconsciously been thrown over your side. 

As if in slow motion, you traced the arm backwards - first with your eyes, but then having to twist your neck too. Only then could you fully see the browny ginger haired boy who was lowkey spooning you? It was certainly a way to fully wake you up, breath halted to a stand still in your lungs, in fear of disturbing him and having to confront what would almost certainly be an awkward situation. 

There was still a safe hands width distance between the two of you except for the rogue arm. Harry’s head was placed to the edge of his pillow, mouth slightly parted as his breathing slightly tickled the wispy hairs on the back of your neck. He looked so peaceful and calm - a difference to the normal Harry who, even on a good day, took great pleasure in meticulously picking things apart and being a bit cynical. It was part of his ‘charm’; but seeing him like this was a type of vulnerability he rarely chose to show. 

To be fair he was asleep, he dint realise he was exposing himself in this way.

Finding yourself a little transfixed (a bit creepy but hey) on the natural curves and definition of his face, you ever so carefully rolled over in the bed to face him. It stopped you from craning your neck and gave the sleepy boy a slight nudge, making him tense his arm a little more tightly round you. 

He settled quickly though, giving you ample opportunity to just observe what was going on . Both right in front of you… and what the hell was going on in your head. Because to be honest it was an overwhelming amount of emotion thoughts for the early morning. 

Somehow you must’ve eventually drifted off once again because the next thing you were aware of was a shuffling from immediately next to you. This time though, you were instantly aware of exactly the situation you found yourself in and chose to keep up the pretence of sleep - a little interested in how Harry would play it. 

You heard a small gasp, having to suppress a chuckle at what you imagined Harry’s sleepy and panicked face looked like. That lasted a couple of moments, before you felt him painstakingly slowly peel his hand from your waist and if you were being 100% honest… you heart sort of sank. 

What you had been expecting?- you don’t know and really there was really no reason to be disappointed. Yet, you still felt this deflated and disappointed feeling, hit your chest especially hard. Perhaps it was because of your focus on that emptyness that you forgot you were supposed to be pretending to be asleep./.

Because when he had delicately brushed the side of your face to tuck a rogue bit of hair behind your ear - your eyes flickered open.  Like a rabbit caught in headlights, Harry froze, his hand still hovering over your jaw. Equally, you didn’t know what to do. Because really… do friends tuck hair behind the others ears? And do friends look at each other with this matched expression of confusion and fear? 

It took a painfully long time (though in reality was probably only a matter of seconds) before the boy retracted his hand, suddenly sitting up from his reclined position down at you. Mirroring his actions, you both ended up sitting, facing the opposite wall, bodies closer than they needed to be in the double bed. Both still very much in the middle. 

“I er-“

“-No no don’t… was nice of you” He had been about to apologise which you didn’t want to hear. You didn’t want to hear ‘ I didn’t mean it’ - you wanted him to mean it. In response Harry nodded jerkily, and from your peripheries, noticed he was searching your face for any sign of emotion.

“Still can’t believe this all happened… I-I didn’t disturb you too much did I?” He sounded really nervous. You were never like this with each other. So static and forced. 

“No no… I slept really good actually.” Your register was quieter, waiting till you’d finished speaking before looking over at him with a self conscious smile. 

“Ah I’m glad… I um-I did too.” The silence returned and the atmosphere just felt sharp. It felt like you were quite literally walking either side of a knife edge. It made you chew on your bottom lip, playing with the slightly frayed edges of the vintage quilt. 

“Y/n- I look…” He’d bolted upright and voice was more raised than normal for the morning. “This is gonna sound so fucking weird, especially cos we’re literally in the same bed but... but I was thinking we could maybe go on a hike or something together?” What he seemed to be suggesting didn’t match the level of panic that was conveyed in his body language which confused you. And what the bed had to do with it… was yet to make sense in your head. 

“I think Andrew said we’re getting some tour of island this afternoon so-“

“ I kinda meant just you and me.” 

The penny dropped and it had you focusing all energy on processing what was happening - understandably causing Harry to only worry more with the lack of response. “I’m sorry if I’ve ruined ever-“

“No I-I….I’d really like that too.”

“Oh er… well… really?” The sheer shock made you giggle, feeling the two of you sliding back into the normal dynamic.

“Normally a boy has to buy me a drink before he gets in my bed but….” A mischevious smirk that spread across your lips gave Harry the final confirmation that just maybe you were interested too, making him scoff and quietly chuckle.

It was odd; mainly because this was the two of you being incredibly vulnerable and honest with each other - something that you hadn’t allowed yourself to be for fear of messing things up. And then one lazy morning, both with morning breath and slightly puffy eyes, it changed. For the first time when you looked at him, he really saw - and vice versa. You were still in the middle of something, yet it was completely different. 

This time you were in the middle together figuratively as well as literally. In the middle of the bed, closer than you needed to be, but not wanting to retreat - while you both just looked shyly and bashfully at each… Eventually you lips hesitantly met in the middle. 

[poursomesunaonme]

UM HI??? WHY HAS IT TAKEN ME SO LONG TO WATCH MIDNIGHT MASS???? (good) ranting below the cut bc holy shit… *spoilers* do i need to even give a religion tw i mean…

so yall know i have oodles and oodles of religious trauma from my involvement w the church in high school so watching it has been a trip to say the least

also im obsessed with anything that mike flanagan has created the man rivals my obsession w david lynch SHIT

the hymns that they choose - phenomenal. i may not identify w the faith anymore BUT i love hymns and i was singin along like a mf fiend

but anyways imma do an episode by episode review bc im that neurotic

episode 1

i love it when creators have their fav actors/actresses, so seeing kate siegel, robert longstreet, annabeth gish, samantha sloyan, carla gugino, and henry thomas just really made me so happy! henry’s character design had him nearly unrecognizable and his accent too so whenever i realized i was like… u bastard ur amazing. he’s so talented! but i thought that this episode created a lovely setup about the show, with all the family and community dynamics. i heavily relate to riley’s dilemma about not going to church when he’s back home because of my estrangement from it all - and face it, my mom’s more of a bev than an annie (which makes the series a lot more… fun to watch because flanagan really hits the nail on the head when it comes to bev’s character). i’m hopping on the father paul is a hottie train because i have a thing for priests (hehe choo choo all aboard the trauma train!) but also that one sermon… wowza

episode 2

the homily that father paul gives… nearly converted me LMAO. NOT REALLY! but still i was like mans deserves an emmy for that. the whole crock pot luck scene had me in tears when pike died… like i haven’t finished it so i’ll let myself predict that it was bev bc she’s a big fat BITCH. continuing in the bev vain, riley’s exposé had me fuming with 1) taking money from the oil company and 2) using it for tithing like obviously she pocketed what was leftover from the community center. my parents give sO MUCH MONEY to the church like ??? i want an inheritance??? sorry im a bitch but its true lmao. but then his whole monologue about god and bad things happening and suffering had me bawling. my. eyes. out.

i used to be one of those people who believed that suffering was a good thing - i will reiterate that i was heavily involved with church activities in high school, staffing and planning retreats, giving talks, all that fun stuff (it’s fun looking back now because i see that it created a deep fear of intimacy in my heart hahahahahah). but hearing riley talk about it, and going on about how the townspeople especially suffer… woof that hurt. but the whole monologue was so well written, and so beautiful - i also appreciated how he has the whole view of the other side because he was born into and involved with the faith before leaving the island.

i think those kinds of views are one of the best perspectives because they really understand the church’s view and all. like with issues nowadays and with arguments with my parents, i can best them because i still somewhat know what i’m talking about. but watching other shows that explore catholicism just aren’t done right but this one… takes the mf cake. i can also really appreciate the imagery of the island being the faith and leaving it allows perspectives to change because it was what happened to me when i left my hometown to go to college. love how relatable it is.

episode 3

leeza’s miracle: had me shaking to my core, honest. my theory that i’m screaming into the void is that there’s some kinda blood in the chalice that heals her and is what’s healing everyone else. but moving on, whenever they go to sarah’s office and wade says something along the lines of “why can’t we just label it a miracle and be done with it” when sarah suggests testing that would actually benefit other people in leeza’s situation, it just blew my mind. and bev gatekeeping people from father paul (i guess it was alright since he was violently ill)… also for those of yall who dont know, priests aren’t supposed to be in a parish for more than like a few years so how the monsignor was there for so long… who knows. but the whole purpose is that the parish doesn’t get attached to the priests, which in a lot of cases happen and people move parishes after they leave, yadda yadda… but with the miracle and gatekeeping, it just goes to show you how attached they already are.

i simply adore how father paul’s confession telling of what happened to pruitt went - especially with the story of saul and the images of the stations of the cross… like christ it was amazing. and of course, bev has to be teaching about god in the public school. the whole conversation made my skin itch because it was like listening to my mom talk LMAO but i love hassan’s character and his view on it, and especially how the show explores his ostracization from the community because of his muslim identity. it made me sad to see how bev trampled on him and erin but i was like this is the christian’s world and we are sadly living in it lmao.

and HOLY SHIT LEEZA’S CONFRONTATION WITH JOE. in tears. in fucking tears. now i was not shot and paralyzed by a man but i was sure traumatized by him and when i tell yall that every word she said i have uttered to him. how my faith used to enable me to be beaten down by him i will never begin to comprehend (nor do i want to) but this scene just said it all and more.

riley and joe’s conversation really hit me so hard. no matter what happens, the town’s opinions isn’t going to change of them, and they know that. but when joe asks, “does it ever get any different for people like us?” i was bawling crying. because that’s how i feel coming home. all the people i used to know are still involved in the same old activities in the same old circles, and then there’s me. people know that i don’t go to church anymore; i mean i’m not crazy but i still feel like im ostracized in the place that i grew up in. i’m sure that my mom’s asking all her friends to pray for me to come back to the church and when i tell you that makes a person feel like garbage… when they all look at you with that pitying smile. like i know how it felt and i don’t want to go back there you can’t blame me.

the conversation between hassan and ali also had me emotionally deceased. ali made a great point saying that he didn’t choose to be muslim, i didn’t choose to be catholic; so wanting to experiment is valid. i love how hassan’s character is explored here, i was just disappointed in how deep. but his love for his wife *chefs kiss* im in love with him.

“if god really worked that way… if he decided that he was gonna heal some and not others”

tears… so many tears… the wounds of my grief dealing with my uncle really opened up and i was losing my mind about it because his death really began my distancing from the church and all. like he was so influential in my town and such and i started to think of all the deaths of people i knew recently… it all just hit at once man. it was a beautiful monologue and one that really hit close to home (too close if you ask me)

but yall would not believe my frustration when fr paul “died” i was screaming at the tv HES ASPIRATING TURN HIM ON HIS SIDE GODDAMNIT like not that it wouldve changed anything but if yall ever see someone throwing up on their back… for gods sake turn them on their side LMAO but i was like tf why did he die oh nvm we gucci continue on.

the religious parallels i literally cannot get enough on. flanagan deserves the gluck gluck of a lifetime for that.

episode 4

okay starting typing while watching now

ERINS BABY IS GONE?????? the fuck?? i dont remember if she drank the wine and i cant imagine she did but if she did then why did it make the baby disappear?

but her and riley’s prayer is so simple and so beautiful. and i love how they start the our father, the prayer that riley started after his accident but never finished.

riley’s monologue about death reminded me of how much im afraid to die lmao thats i think why i was so attached to religion was because it offered a comfort as to what occurred after death.

they finna be battling over this blood lmao love that turn and the significance of greed. kinda reminds me of how i compare my relationship with religion to an addiction heheh

NOT THE SLIPUP WITH JOE’S SISTER LMAOOO poor fr paul all mixed up w his old decrepit mind

ah yes monsignor’s hat and coat… oh yeah… its all comin together

SHIT ARE THEY ABT TO KILL OFF THE MAIN MF CHARACTER??? or even worse, make him into a pious freak? all will be revealed in the next epi

will i ever complete my wips…

episode 5

i was like i started recognizing henry thomas bc i was like are the characters getting younger - yes mildred is fuckin BANGIN’ get it girl

ayo FATHER PAUL SAYING THAT THE MILITARY SHOULDNT BE ASSOCIATED WITH A COUNTRY???????????? mans is speaking the language of my coochie

im hoping that bev grows an independent conscience but i know she wont

i LOVE how they wrote in the priest’s dramatic walk off after dropping a bomb ass homily it was so perfect

okay RILEY?????? im scared shits about to hit the fan - or theyre about to fuck, or hes about to lure her to the angel… or is he keeping her from it

i love how this is devolved to my insane neuron firings

just the little sprinkles of the bible, the whole “you know who i am” and the doubting thomas stuff i love it.

the series itself has kinda strayed from the original and old traditional beauty of church but im always invested in a mystery that flanagan produces

i just love that it has spiraled into putting things in the place of a proverbial god, i mean all things can become a “god” in their lives but this especially, and putting it under the guise of the christian god; so interesting. im not gonna read an article of an interview w flanagan that i found bc i dont wanna spoil it but im so intrigued as to what drove him to make this

also how people are only accepted into the flock once again when they have some spectacular miracle so to speak. like bev wouldve never looked at riley if he hadnt been changed

is riley gonna nom nom on erin orrrr…

their relationship >>>

WAIT HIS DREAM oh my god hes gonna wait for the sunrise. and hes gonna have his dream and hes gonna die

tara beth.

6

wowee ladies and germs here we are. erin greene redeems this show and i want so badly for her to escape the island because shes always had the best chance of living away from it but she wont so.

sarah is a fucking g. lets go lesbians.

yo if dolly’s crying… easter vigil is abt to be a mf sacrifice. everyones about to be “converted,” shall we say

im gonna fuck the sheriff

the procession to the church… the doxology… fucking art.

hassans like the one fucking time i go to church….

the angels like… lemme fuckin strut this aisle. its giving… moira during david’s wedding

millie was the g.

ed was the g.

well thank god leeza’s not in a wheelchair anymore

okay millie’s back i have a feeling her confrontation w sarah is gonna make me cry

i have a sneaking suspicion that ali’s gonna kill his dad

7

i hate how i say that all these people are dead like they arent coming back

annie the mf g though holy fuck.

“he wasnt exactly celibate” sarah is def monsignors kid theres no doubt abt that. how does it feel to have a heathen gay child father??????? hahahhahahahaha

yoooo bev’s retelling revelation with the blood dripping down her chin >>>

beverly, the budding arsonist

i really appreciate how bev’s whole rage over cherry picking god when shes the one that blows religion completely out of proportion. and thats the whole idea of it

“at that dinner, at that last dinner, i would’ve-�� “they know”

oh fuck. grief machine go brrrr. wanna hear me overshare bc i wanna overshare. the last time i saw my uncle my parents started a political discussion. yup. and then i left to see my friends. i dont even remember if i told him that i loved him. so holding in hope to leeza’s words with this one.

sarah… sarah sarah sarah… “it was a gift-“ “and [she] spat it out”

theyre gonna watch the sunrise burying sarah.

ali im CRYING

fuck bev literally half her words are from the bible yet she shoots hassan before he can finish one verse

oh my god erin clipping the angels wings. that is all. that is fucking all.

die alone bev watching all your manipulation burn

needless to say the second ali said “allahu akbar” i was shitting crying

bev digging her own grave like she had been the whole fucking time

and everyone singing together. hot damn flanagan sure knows how to end a series

and how else to end something with a jarring dialogue like “i cant feel my legs”

leeza, the impetus for the majority of the series, one of the most purely devout souls (i was leeza in high school going to daily mass every morn and so on), tells us that its all for naught, that it all wears off eventually.

flanagan you are blessed. idk if i can say that, but what a mastermind.

[illfoandillfie]

Maybe a ben POV one? where bens off on a movie shoot and misses you and wants to fly you out to him but he’s worried it’s too much of a “romantic gesture” like in movies so he doesn’t want to weird you out but then on the phone you say how much you miss him too so he gathers the nerve to ask you and you’re like duh ofc I’ll come you dork (im envisioning this still kinda early in the qpr maybe right after platonically or smth)

Thank you so much babe!!

This is the second of the blurbs for my Platonically themed event! This one follows directly on from the one I posted yesterday so maybe read it first.

Words: 1,759

Warnings: just two idiots being dummies. Minor references to sex and probably some swearing but that's about it.

Reflecting on the situation, Ben had come to the conclusion that it was the perfect time to be in Greece. The run of beautiful weather they’d had over the course of the last month must have set some sort of record, he thought. Every day was blue skies, white fluffy clouds, and the sort of heat that was comfortable and not overly sticky. It made working a dream, especially when half the film seemed to take place on the beach. The sand was warm under his feet and the water clear and cool. They didn’t have much down time since the studio was pushing for it to be finished ASAP so they could release it at the optimal time, but the few days off they did get, Ben spent either fishing with some of the crew or else exploring the picturesque town they were in. There was just one downside. You weren’t with him.

Whenever the thought crossed his mind, whenever he really started to miss you, he’d remind himself that he loved his job, loved that it took him to exciting and beautiful places. And then he’d send you a quick message to check how everything was back home. He called too, mostly in the evenings after he got back to his hotel room. But the deeper into the project he got the more night shoots there were and the later he got back to his room. What brief conversations you had were good but not quite the same as if you’d been there with him. Of course, he’d try to remind himself that it wasn’t like he’d never been away from you before. But those times had all been before you got together, and the changed nature of the relationship made him feel your absence more. He never said that to you though. Mostly, when you could talk, Ben would ask how you were and talk about the exciting things he saw. He’d tell you about the beaches or the trinket shops and say how much you’d like them but he’d never tell you exactly how badly he wished you were with him. He didn’t want you to take it the wrong way and he didn’t trust himself to explain it properly. Whenever he tried to verbalise it (quietly, to his reflection or the dark hotel room he was staying in) he worried it came out too...well, romantic.

The truth was, he’d always been attached to you, since very early on in your relationship. You just got him. His sense of humour and his personality and the way he thought. It took him no time at all to start referring to you as one of his best friends and it was a title you’d held for years. But then he’d realised the way he liked you wasn’t strictly platonic, and it made him feel weird around you. More uncertain than he was used to. He found it hard to describe the relief he’d felt when you agreed to think about his QPR idea or how, when you’d accepted, it had alleviated the uncertainty and doubts that had been plaguing him. To you it would probably sound sappy and sentimental and tat all what you wanted to hear from him. Of course the QPR was really just an extension of your friendship. More or less the same, just a few new ways to show affection like kissing and getting you off (both things Ben greatly enjoyed), and a few new words that made it specific to the two of you. And maybe a new future too, depending on how things went. But again, while he might think those sorts of thoughts, he wouldn’t know how to begin saying any of them to you. Because he was starting to really want that future with you, and saying so might make it impossible to get there.

So Ben allowed himself to miss you quietly. Occasionally an idea of inviting you to join him would pop into his head. But he always let the thought go as quickly as it came. The weeks ticked by like that. Texting when you could between scenes and less and less frequent calls at night, which left Ben’s head swimming with lots of unsaid things. Progress was made on the movie too, most of the beach scenes wrapped and everyone moving to other parts of the script. Until everything came to a screeching halt. Ben wasn’t entirely sure what the problem was – something to do with scheduling conflicts or maybe special equipment that hadn’t arrived on time. All he was told was that things would be back up and running soon but it might take an extra few weeks to complete the project. He didn’t mind so much, it gave him a bit of extra free time after all, but it also meant he wouldn’t get to see you again for a while.

The possibility of flying you out to Greece to join him had been rattling around his brain since his third week on set. You could spend a couple of weeks, maybe a month, together. He could take you to that restaurant he’d sent you photos of and show you the handmade stationery shop he’d stumbled across that he knew you’d have fun exploring. And then there was the rest of the town, thin streets to get lost in together and beautiful views to look out over. Maybe you’d like to walk along the beach with him and collect seashells or rent a little dingy to take out on the waves. Once or twice he’d come close to actually asking you to join him but he always talked himself out of it, sure it would be crossing a line for you. Missing you was one thing but offering to buy you a plane ticket and whisk you off on a getaway to a gorgeous Greek island was surely too romantic. But the news of the delay made him consider it again.

That night he called you, smiling as soon as he heard your voice. At first the call was like any other. He listened to you talk about what had been going on since he last had a chance to call, getting caught up on your mutual friends and your work and whatever else came to mind. “But what about you?” you finally said, “You must be pretty busy since I haven’t had a call from you in a little while.” “Well I was busy except not so much right now,” “Oh?” “There’s some sort of delay, I don’t the details. But it looks like I’ll be here for another few weeks at least.” “Oh.” Ben was a little surprised by how disappointed you sounded. “I really miss you,” “I miss you too,” his voice got softer as he said it, “a lot.” “I really wish I could see you,” “Well,” he said sheepishly, hoping he wasn’t reading things wrong, “how would you feel about coming out here then? I can get you a plane ticket if you want.” “No shit! You can do that? You won’t like, get in trouble or anything?” Ben laughed, not quite understanding, “What are you talking about?” “I don’t know man, I’m not an actor. I just figured it’d be like a partner free zone. Like they wouldn’t want you getting distracted or whatever.” “You fucking dork,” his laughter threatened to obscure the words but he managed to make himself heard, “That’s not how it is at all. You being here wouldn’t be a problem, as long as I’m on set when they need me. Plus it looks like we’re about to have a whole lot of downtime anyway. So does that mean you wanna come?” “Ummm let me think abo- of course Ben!” “Well if I’d known you’d react like this I would have asked sooner,” The laughter had faded, leaving a grin on his face, though the embarrassment at his hesitancy was creeping up too. “Wish you had’ve. Why didn’t you?” “I just didn’t want you to take it the wrong way,” “And what way would that be?” “A romantic way? I don’t know! It’s just the sort of thing that’d happen in a romantic movie or whatever and I didn’t want to come across like that. It’s Greece man, it’s kind of a romantic place. Maybe not like Paris but it’s up there. Don’t laugh,” he groaned, “I’m just saying, white sands and clear seas and lots of pretty flowers in bloom, it’s definitely got romantic vibes.” “It didn’t even cross my mind that it might be that sort of thing. No offence to Greece, I’m sure it’s lovely.” Ben let himself chuckle at his idiocy, “I guess cause I’ve like, y’know, got feelings for you or whatever I saw the romantic side and assumed you would too. Feel silly for not just asking you but I’m glad we have that sorted now.” “I think it’s sweet, Ben. I love that you were conscious of how it might be perceived and I understand you didn’t want to hurt me. But yeah, dude, please get me that ticket, I miss you a stupid amount.” “Alright, I’m on it. When do you want to leave?”

Two days later and Ben was content, sitting and staring out at the waves on a quiet beach as you rubbed sunscreen into his back. He’d greeted you at the airport, feeling ridiculously excited to see you, squeezing you in a tight hug (which you later suggested had cracked one of your ribs). “Okay, all done, now let me do your front,” you shuffled around Ben on your knees, throwing a leg over his lap as he leaned back on his palms. “You’re such a perv,” Ben chuckled, subtly adjusting his posture to push his chest further towards you, “I bet you only suggested sunscreen so you could feel my boobs.” “Oh you caught me,” you squirted some more of the cream directly onto his chest, beginning to rub it in, “Definitely nothing to do with sun safety.” “No I get it, you don’t need to lie to me. You missed my pecks. It’s totally natural. But let me know when you’re done so I can show you the same courtesy.” "Think we might save that till we get back to the hotel, Benny,”  Ben laughed at your exasperated expression, raising one arm to pull you toward him for a kiss, barely noticing the cool of the cream still on your palm as you cupped his cheek and kissed him back.

[simptasia]

Sorry I'm a bit late, but here's some Lost nonsense from my brain:

If Jacob's & MIB's adopted mum didn't adopt them, then a whole lot of mess could have been avoided.

Also.

Why didn't John's dad just say he was moving after he stole his kidney and see him like once a year? (That way if you need to borrow a lung later down the line the option is is there.)

Also.

If I knew my past self was gonna kill my son I won't let that happen. Screw the time space continuum, I'm doctor who-ing this nonsense.

And on top of that.

How come no one really tried to mess about with time in the 70s? I know there was a bit of "ahh don't effect the future" but like, if I was stuck in the past I'd have a go at screwing around with time. I'd be like suck it universe, there's no Internet and I've got people in the present I care about. I know alot of the Lost people had reasons not to, like Jin's trying to keep his family safe and Sawyer doesn't really have anyone outside of the island. But Julie's sister? Kate needing to find Claire? WHY WASNT THERE A DANIEL FOCUSED EPISODE ABOUT HIM TRYING TO CHANGE THE FUTURE AND SAVE CHARLOTTE THAT JUST MADE THE FUTURE HAPPEN MORE SO THAT THEN WHEN SAYID SHOT CHILD BEN I COULD HAVE BEEN ALL LIKE nah bro thats no gonna help, when instead I thought there was gonna be some funky timeline nonsense that I'm always here for AND THEN THERE WASNT. Also more Daniel.

Last thought (sorry I can't shut up)

Now I'm thinking about it, why was everyone's reaction to Sayid shooting child Ben as a bland "this is bad" ?? Im not trying to say it was good, but its like the whole 'go back in time and kill Hitler as a kid' argument? I thought characters would at least have thoughts? Like no one even talked about it beyond face value?? Or even had an emotion?? Everyone was just like: "this is bad, but let's leave him with his abusive dad" ???????????????

Epilogue Thought: i genuinely thought when Kate handed child Ben over to the Others she was doing to say something to him along the lines of what adult Ben said to her at the beginning of series 3 when they had breakfast together. (My memory is so bad, but it's something like "I wanted you to have a nice memory to cling onto because a lot of bad is going to happen.") And then it was gonna be like a weird time loop thing of who really said it first, like Ben doesn't remember them properly or anything (but it might help why he didn't just ask Jack for surgery help when they first crashed.)

lost spoilers ahead

Okay, first of all, how the fuck did you send a message this long. Whenever I send messages, I'm given a character limit???

If Jacob's & MIB's adopted mum didn't adopt them, then a whole lot of mess could have been avoided.

"Adopted", yes that the's word for it. And yeah... yeah. The entire plot of LOST, down the drain. Isn't it ironic, this show is known for so much daddy issues and all of this fuss was caused by mommy issues

Why didn't John's dad just say he was moving after he stole his kidney and see him like once a year? (That way if you need to borrow a lung later down the line the option is is there.)

Short answer: Because Anthony Cooper is a cunt

Longer answer: it's pooossible that anthony genuinely didn't wanna spend any time with locke at all. as you pointed out, this isn't pragmatic on his part. but he's a dick. he also has a history of not sticking around the people he's conned

If I knew my past self was gonna kill my son I won't let that happen. Screw the time space continuum, I'm doctor who-ing this nonsense.

I've had this same thought. Offense to Eloise, but I'm different.

like, yeah, even if it turns out to not be possible, there's merit in fucking trying to prevent this. like, morally, emotionally, i'd respect eloise if she'd fucking TRIED to not kill her baby boy :(((

legit, same, if i knew i was destined to kill my boy, i'd be like "no"

and at the very fucking least, i'd give the best life possible! which, paradox or no, is what a parent is SUPPOSED to do, eloise!!

not only does eloise not even try to not do this, what makes it so much worse is that she didn't allow him the life he wanted. you know he's gonna die young, bitch, let him have love and piano!

HES NOT EVEN ASKING FOR MUCH. free will??? please???

i Cannot talk about eloise without going on this rant, it seems

and the rest of ur message, i won't copy paste, but what ur saying about time travel. i'm kinda indifferent to a possiblity of them trying to change more but thinking about it, it's odd that they didn't Try more. however this can chalked up to like, not enough run time. but yes i'm all in favour of the characters ties to other characters mattering more. and charlotte mattering more. grrrr

oh boy the ben thing. well, i don't blame them for the This Is Bad thing. because it is. it's very bad to shoot a child. i wanna say, sayid is so fucking out of character when he does this. the writers mishandled sayid pretty bad in seasons 5 and 6, sigh. personally i don't believe its anywhere near okay to try to kill somebody because they're gonna be a bad person One Day. but yeah i am surprised there wasn't more of a debate about this in canon. we have people of different morals here... plus, it's a debate in real life. i'm in the "punish the people who have actually done something wrong" camp

it's fucked that he has to stay with roger though. i don't put that on our losties tho, overall i blame the others. because they could have accepted ben into the others way sooner and they really should have. richard could see this kid was suffering and they let him stay with his abusive dad. that's awful. then again, charles was in charge during this time period so that makes THAT make more sense but ugh

and finally. inch resting... i always saw kate's sympathy for little ben as 1. he's only a child, he's Not big ben. and 2. she grew up in an abusive home too so she sees a kindred spirit

regarding ben's memory, it annoys me how the writers felt the need to erase some of little ben's memories to supposedly Make It Make Sense but i felt that was unneeded. i think it's perfectly viable for ben to remember all the stuff that went down in season 5 but he never mentioned it because why the fuck would he. for one thing, he was henry gale at first, he's hardly gonna be like "oh hey are you the guy who shot me when i was a kid??" no, he'd keep his memories to himself. i think ben keeps a lot of things to himself for tactical reasons so i think the lost writers employed a get outta jail free card when they really didn't need to

[highpope]

Silver Keys - Ch. One

JJ Maybank x oc / Soulmate AU / Topper x oc

warnings: none, if there are any let me know!

Word Count: 2k ish

Notes: Hi guys, sorry this is so long overdue. I was fighting with this one. But i really wanted to update this story. It’s not my fave but that’s okay. ** As always, reblogs and feedback is welcome and appreciated. 

Masterlist - READ PROLOGUE FIRST :))

June sat at the piano she got for her 16th birthday. She had been saving up for years and finally had enough money for a keyboard. It wasn’t the same as the beautiful grand piano at her instructors, but it did the job. June nervously watched the clock tick down to midnight and tried to focus on the song she was trying to learn. If she came into lessons next week without having learned at least half of it she wouldn’t be on track to play at the recital in a few weeks. It was a big deal to her parents, and June too. The recital was on the mainland with tons of different kids from the surrounding areas. June had never gotten an opportunity to play and she wasn’t about to let worrying about her potential soulmate stop her. 

She took a deep breath and began to play. As the minutes turned to seconds, June was gracefully gliding her fingers up and down the keyboard, trying to make sense of the melodies, allowing the notes to soak into the room. 

On the morning of her birthday, June walked down the stairs into the kitchen to see a note and a box of donuts. It was Saturday, meaning both her parents were working and Olivia, her sister, was going to be sleeping the day away. June grabbed a powder sugar donut from the box and read the note: 

Happy Birthday, Love! We can’t wait to celebrate with you tonight. 

Have fun today, Mom and Dad

She smiles and folds the note up. June was just about to grab another donut when the doorbell rang. She looked at the time, 9:30. There’s no way any family member would be stopping by and Olivia’s friends wouldn’t show up unannounced. June opens the door to reveal JJ dressed in shorts and a light long sleeve t-shirt. 

“Happy birthday Ju Ju!” JJ exclaims.

June rolled her eyes, “God, please don’t call me that.” She opened the door wide to let him in. The nickname originated from June’s younger sister. They were five years apart and she couldn’t properly say June’s name for quite a while. So from ages 5 to 8, she was Ju Ju. 

“Nah, I think 18 is the year we bring it back,” JJ said, slinging his arm around her shoulders. 

“Absolutely not,” June says, tapping his cheek lightly, “Thanks though.” He smiles as she jumps up onto one of the stools in the kitchen, “what’s up?”

“You, miss birthday girl, have very important places to be. Go get dressed.” 

“Where exactly do I have to be?” 

“Well, first, Kie’s and then,” JJ motions like he is zipping his lips and throwing the key away. June narrows her eyes causing him to throw up his hands in defense. 

“Okay, fine, but don’t eat my donuts!” June runs up the stairs and begins to get ready. She decides on a blue tube top, shorts, and a white cropped jacket. She runs a brush through her hair and packs her swimsuit and a few other things in a drawstring before going down the hallway to leave a note for her sister. She tells her where she’s going to be and to call when she gets up. 

JJ and her drive to Kiara’a in his truck, the windows down and the radio stuck on the same channel it’s been on since he got it. They’ve learned to tolerate it. JJ was so proud of the truck when he first showed the pogues. He had gotten a busted down pickup from some guy on the island and fixed it up pretty much by himself. The rest of them promised to never make fun of it. 

“Happy Birthday!” The pogues yell when June opens the door. She can’t contain her laughter. Everyone is wearing pink sparkly party hats. Kie instantly comes over to her, throwing her arms around her neck, “baby is eighteen!” June squeezes back and accepts a hat identical to the rest and hands one to JJ who shuts the door behind them. 

“Looking good, boys.” June laughs at Pope and John B posing in their hats. 

“It’s the required attire didn’t you hear?” John B asks, kissing the top of June's head and Pope slinging an arm around her shoulders. They lead her through the kitchen and the sliding door to the outdoor patio. The lounge chairs are set up along with string lights and a birthday banner. It was perfect. The whole thing, being with her favorite people, the perfect weather. 

“You guys didn’t have to do all of this.” 

“But you deserve it. You’re always the first to do anything for the rest of us,” Pope says. 

“He’s right, Juney,” Kie says, smiling. 

“You’re a bunch of saps,” JJ says plopping into a chair. 

After spending the morning and early afternoon hanging out in Kie’s backyard, the five piled into the van and headed down to the beach. The boys were in the water before June could even set her stuff down. It was arguably not warm enough to swim, but that didn’t stop them. Kie and June decided to layout, occasionally sneaking a few drinks from the water bottle filled with alcohol. 

“So how are you feeling about the whole soulmate thing?” Kie asks, bumping her shoulder against June’s. 

To be honest, June had forgotten all about it. She could barely sleep last night she was so nervous, but now that it could happen whenever, she felt much better.

“Honestly okay.” She admitted.

“Do you think you already know who it is?”

“I mean that happens more often than not, right? Just look at our parents.” Kie’s parents had known each other in high school, having grown up on the island, but didn’t know they were soulmates until later down the line. That happens all the time. Whether or not it’s just coincidence or really is fate, June hadn’t decided yet. 

“I guess you’re right.” She paused before speaking again, “I don’t think I want to already know them. I don’t want to marry someone we went to high school with and be stuck here only for our kids to end up the same way.” Seeing Kiara open up like this made June wonder about her own future. 

“Don’t worry Kie, you’re gonna go somewhere cool like Australia and stop the wildfires and clean the oceans and fall in love with some really hot girl and leave us all behind forever.” 

She moved her sunglasses off her face to hold back her hair, “I could never leave you, but you really think so?”

“Of course. You’re going places. John B, JJ, and I are gonna be stuck here smelling like fish bait until we’re 80.” June gags.

Kiara laughs, making a disgusted face, “what about Pope?” 

“Nah, he’s too good for this place.” They both laugh so hard they don’t even notice the boys had made their way back to where they were laying.

“What’s so funny?” John B asks, shaking out his hair.

“Nothing,” Kie says with a smile on her lips. The boys share a knowing look before dropping it altogether. That’s when June’s phone chimes with a message from her sister. 

Mom said to make sure you were home soon for tonight. We’re almost all set up here.

I guess Aunt Morrane is coming:/

“No,” June groans at the last of Olivia’s message. 

“What’s wrong?” JJ asks, sitting down next to her. 

“My Aunt is coming to dinner tonight.”

“The horror!” John B mocks. 

“Stop! I’m serious. She’s a nutcase.” June replies, throwing a towel at his face. He catches it in one swift motion. 

“Ju it’s gonna be fine.” JJ said reassuringly, “I’ll drop you back off.” 

The pogues only stayed a little while longer before packing up their stuff into the van and parting ways once back at Kiara’s. 

“I won’t have any fun without you,” Kie begged before June got into the truck. 

“You’re gonna be fine.” The rest of the group was going to the first official kegger of the summer. June always missed it. She was sure she would hear all about it tomorrow when she would stop by the chateau with a bunch of water and ibuprofen in the morning to make sure they were all breathing. 

“Hey, thanks, J,” June says when JJ had pulled up in front of her house. 

“No problem,” he starts. June reaches for the door handle, “actually, I got you something.” 

Surprised, June says “You didn’t have to get me anything.” 

He waves her off and reaches into the glove compartment, pulling out a bracelet, “uh. It’s not wrapped or anything.” 

June examines the bracelet, it was a brown braided string with a single pearl threaded in the middle. 

“I love it.” 

“Really?” JJ asks, scrunching up his nose, “because it’s okay if you don’t I just thought-”

“No, no I do. Thank you,” June says and reaches up to kiss his cheek. Just then there is a loud pounding coming from the passenger side window, causing June to startle and drop the bracelet. Both June and JJ lean in to grab it off the floor of the car and smack heads. “Shit, sorry”

“Ow!” 

JJ finally grabs the bracelet and hands it back to her before they are both faced with Aunt Morrane opening the door and practically dragging her out of the truck. 

“You know,” her aunt starts, “darling, everyone is waiting inside.” 

“I’ll just be one second, I promise.” She says flashing a smile to her aunt and pleading eyes to JJ. He tries to hide his laughter. 

Aunt Morrane locks arms with June and begins walking up to their sidewalk, quite literally dragging her by her feet, and begins talking about this show she was watching.

“Happy Birthday, Ju Ju!” JJ yells from the truck. June tries to flip him off as discreetly as possible with her aunt still gripping on to her. 

At the door, her mother engulfs her into a hug, “Happy 18th, love.” 

“Thank you, mama.” 

“Was that JJ? You know he could've come in. We have enough food.”

“It’s okay, Mama, he had plans.” That satisfied her enough as she went to close the door and straight back into the kitchen. June took off her shoes and that’s when she heard it. It only lasted a minute and she couldn’t recite it if she was asked, but it was there. Faint, but clear. Just how Pope had described it. Just how everyone had described it. Her soulmate. 

taglist: @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc (hi im sorry I forgot to tag yall) 

** if you want to be added to the taglist let me know!!

[brvceselina]

what are your batcat taylor swift songs?

oh anon... you really want to go there?? you see basically my mind lives in a 24/7 tswift + batcat <33 

under the cut bc boy do i have words about this 

its impossible for me to not think of my batcat fam, aka em, haley and kayleigh (love u guys <3), whenever i think about taylor and batcat bc i have had many, many, many conversations with them about this and basically ‘cornelia street’ is one of my #1 batcat songs ( i mean the line “ I get mystified by how this city screams your name “ & “ I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away “ scream selina kyle to me) 

-coney island: i made a post about it a few weeks ago but i see it more from a bruce pov “ Were you waiting at our old spot in the tree line by the gold clock, did I leave you hanging every single day?” (imagine selina on a rooftop waiting for bruce to come home, rip to my feelings i guess)

-daylight: i see this as a future batcat song, when they have found some peace after reconnecting with each other after all those years apart: “ I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night // and now I see daylight, I only see daylight” & also i recall a late night chat with em about how the line ‘you gotta step into the daylight and let it go’ fits so well with selina after stepping into the studio of wayne manor again bc even tho the place holds such beautiful memories for both of them, is also the place where she was shot and almost bleeds to death so, at first, its really hard for her to just be there (after bruce comes back, after they´re past the anger, the sadness and the regrets towards each other, after she finds the strenght to go back to his place again) but in time she learns to just let go of that awful experiencie and just hold on to the beautiful memories they have in that room (’ hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you’ boom there´s another tswift + batcat reference for you)

-king of my heart: the bridge screams batcat “ Is the end of all the endings? //

my broken bones are mending // with all these nights we're spending // up on the roof with a school girl crush // drinking beer out of plastic cups // say you fancy me, not fancy stuff // baby, all at once, this is enough” (missing batcat moment of them on some rooftoop actually acting like teenagers for once and just being silly while drinking cheap beer even tho he´s a billionaire)

-all you had to do was stay: a selina anthem if you ask me. “ all you had to do was stay // had me in the palm of your hand // then why'd you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?” when bruce left gotham, selina was already in a ‘yes, i know what i want, i know i want to be with him and let´s go all the way for it’ state of mind, she was sure of what she wanted and of course, that was the moment he decided to leave (good reasons, bad execution), so that completely destroyed her bc she was ready to give him everything and he just left without even saying goodbye to her. also ‘you were all i wanted’ (tswift lyric) vs ‘i wanted you’ (an actual line from the show)?? i rest my case. 

-death by a thousand cuts: ‘quiet my fears with the touch of your hand’ selina, as we know, has many, many abandonment issues and that was a constant fear in her mind whenever she was around bruce, like ‘dont get too close, don´t get attached, he´s going to leave someday’ but everything he looked at her, everytime he smiled at her, he made those fears go away, he made her feel she had found a safe space so eventually, she became too attached and the heartbreak when he left was the price she paid for that. 

-cruel summer: “and i walked through the garden gate, everynight that summer just to seal my fate” s4 was when they were at a point where everyone in gotham could tell that selina kyle and bruce wayne were something, ra's al ghul, being the creepy, nosy obsessed with bruce dude that he is, of course knew that, so he told jeremiah that the only way to get through bruce wayne besides alfred (hello he had killed him once) was through selina. ‘jeremiah shot me to get to you’ she says to him after, so while being with bruce, she basically sealed her fate that nigh she was shot. 

oh my god this is way too long already and i dont even know if this makes ANY sense. 

-cowboy like me: another full batcat song. “ and the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up” those two are filled with so much trauma, so much fear, so much repressed feelings that those ‘skeletons in their closets’ were really trying to destroy them but, at the end, they managed to beat them. 

you know im going to end this here before i end up writing like a full freaking eassy on how i relate every taylor song to batcat, kay? 

thanks for asking <3 

[onlysmagic]

🌌  ———  MEET CORDELIA .

hey hey hey! it's me, honey, back again. i've miss everyone so very much. how have you all been? good, i hope. for the time being, i'll be playing sweet cordy again ( nothing new  . . . nothing's changed . . . still the same old cordy! ) but noah could be coming back soon ~* and maybe some new muses *~ ooOOoOOh. as always, hit the heart for a new old friend and i'll im you to get the party started!

cordy’s stats 🌌 cordy’s wanted connections 🌌 cordy’s pinboard

thanks again for an incredibly warm welcome back! i've missed you all terribly!

🌌 —  THE STATS .

FULL   NAME *    . CORDELIA AMI WANTANABE . NICKNAMES *    CODY   ,   DELIA   ,   CORDY . AGE *    TWENTY-FOUR . DATE   OF   BIRTH *    APRIL   3RD   1996 . STAR   SIGN *    ARIES . HOME   TOWN *    NARA   ,   KANSAI   ,   JAPAN . GENDER *    CIS FEMALE . SEXUALITY *    (   CLOSETED   )   BISEXUAL . NATIONALITY *    JAPANESE . ETHNICITY *    ASIAN . FAMILY *    WANTANABE   TSUYOSHI   (   FATHER   ,   MAINTENANCE   WORKER   -   JAPANESE   )   &   WANTANABE   AMI   -   FORMERLY   ITO   (   MOTHER   ,   FLORIST   -   JAPANESE-CANADIAN   ) . OCCUPATION *   UNEMPLOYED . PLAYLIST *   COMING   SOON .  QUIRK *    STELLARKINESIS   ,   OR   THE   ABILITY   TO   CREATE   AND / OR   MANIPULATE   STARS   AND   USE   THEIR   STELLAR   ENERGY  . 

🌌 —  THE STORY.

           ONCE UPON A TIME , IN A FAR-AWAY LAND known as nara , an ordinary girl is born to two parents who love her ( but cannot seem to love themselves. ) they name her cordelia and, from a young age, there was always something a little . . . off about their sweet girl. now, many parents would claim that their child glows & a light seems to follow them wherever they wander, but the wantanabes would be right.

           it isn’t until the young girl turns 10 that she realizes that no, not everyone can bend space and time to their own whim. not everyone sees the universe as a malleable thing, able to be crafted in one’s own image should they wish. in fact, she is the only one she knows who can do anything of the sort. okay, her dad has superhuman-like strength ( in that he can help her open bottles and things of that sort ) and her mother is incredibly quick-witted, but neither of them can conjure hot balls of gas and light whenever they wish. cordelia can. it’s her mother’s idea to keep it a secret, out of fear that someone could find the young girl and exile her for being so . . . different. delia doesn’t see the harm in it. what’s the worst that can happen? at that age, all she tended to do was bring a bit of starlight to the light-polluted nara and its surrounding areas. it wasn’t like she was dangerous in her mind, it’s all fun and games . . . until someone gets hurt.

           and who should get hurt? why, her beloved parents, of course. a freak accident ( a rush, a blur, not knowing where her powers could take her. ) cordelia was swallowed whole by the guilt of seeing both of her parents in the hospital, doctors whizzing around them while not knowing what in the world had gotten to either of them. they couldn’t for the life of them guess; most thought lightning had something to do with it. if they only knew it was the little girl sitting at each of their bedsides, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

           they both eventually got to go home -- becoming known around nara as the lightning couple, due to the belief that they both were struck by lightning, despite the outlandish odds -- but cordy knew that she wouldn’t be able to go home with them. she would never forgive herself if something worse ( and there wasn’t much worse that could happen to either of them ) so she found hosu and ran, ran, ran. of course, when she arrived safe and sound, she wrote to her parents, but she’s broken inside knowing that, well, it has to be this way. it’s breaking them all, but it has to be this way.

🌌 —  WELCOME TO THE ISLE.

          THE BROWN-EYED girl shows up on the island shaking. she'd never done anything so brash before, yet, here she was, so many miles away from everything she'd ever known and with nothing to her name . . . nothing other than that stupid quirk she'd been all but cursed with.

          stupid stars. stupid light. stupid gas. stupid universe.

          . . . so what if she's not exactly eloquent, she's too angry to care. what a wicked way to go, but cordelia figures it's better her than her parents. they do forgive her, eventually, but it takes quite a few conversations that last hours upon hours and some good, old fashion groveling. afraid of growing so close to someone that she can hurt them again, cordelia becomes a master of being seen and not heard; it's easier to not be missed if no one really knows you, after all.

          but it's incredibly lonely. living by a rule that an eleven-year-old version of herself created is becoming harder and harder with each passing day, especially when she starts having to lie to mom and dad when they ask about her friends ( cordelia never did like that sad sounding sigh that would always come across the line. ) so she creates these fanciful friends and their fantastic adventures across the isle. they all have their own quirks but they learn to live with them, learn to love them and, by extension, themselves. yeah, it sounds something out of a coming-of-age film that cordelia would probably love . . . but what her parents don't know won't hurt them.

          but it'll end up hurting cordelia. karma's been chasing not too far behind with its sight set on her and, one day, it finally gets her. a horrible accident, her mother exclaimed, so much blood and just -- what, what is going on? cordelia's heart was in her throat and she wanted to scream until she broke the sound barrier. she nearly went supernova ( quite literally, too. it took everything in her not to explode right then and there. ) her father was hit by some punk drunk driver and was announced dead on arrival . . . what? why would the universe do such a thing? why would those stupid stars that everyone swore by decide to take such an inherently good person away?

          it wasn't fair. cordelia fell into a deep deep depression. the stars didn't shine nearly as brightly as they once did ( there was no one to create new galaxies for anymore. ) every night, she'd watch the stars she'd created for her father, her mother, the old friends she knew in nara, die slow deaths. soon, there would be nothing left in the world with her namesake on it and cordelia, all at once, found that to be a crying shame. call it her father's optimism finally rubbing off on her, or just simply finding it hard to keep lying to her now-widowed mother.

          she was going to find some friends . . . anyhow, anyway. if karma, the stars, the government, anything or everything was keeping an eye on her, she’d at least give them a worthwhile show.

🌌 —  PERSONALITY TRAITS.

POSITIVE : appropriate, brave, balanced, sugary, polite, organized, practical.

NEGATIVE : co-dependent, stuffy, standoffish, aloof, lethal, anti-social, incapable, dishonest.

LABEL : the doll . . . beautiful but fragile / untouchable.

EASTERN ZODIAC SIGN : THE RAT . . . a clever, quick thinker; successful, but content with living a quiet and peaceful life.

WESTERN ZODIAC SIGN : ARIES / THE RAM . . . a fire sign.  a passionate, motivated, and confident leader who builds community with their cheerful disposition and relentless determination. uncomplicated and direct in their approach, they often get frustrated by exhaustive details and unnecessary nuances.

PERSONALITY TYPE : INTJ / THE ARCHITECT . . . highly analytical, creative and logical.

🌌 —  THE CONNECTION IDEAS .

AURIGA / THE CHARIOTEER  . . . you and cordelia live in the same building. you have the ( un ) fortune of living above her, and in the middle of the night, you awaken to so many odd noises. when you look outside your window, you see her in the middle of the field painting the night sky with thousands of sparkling lights. stars . . . and so many of them! maybe you like them, maybe you ask her to spell out a swear word in the sky, or maybe you just want to sleep.

CASSIOPEIA - THE QUEEN  . . . cordelia rubs you the wrong way. that emotionless void of a girl has gotten on your last nerve and you are going to show her. how? you're not sure yet, but she will rue the day she ever crossed you. wait, what do you mean she's not that bad? that's not fair! you're supposed to hate her . . . wait, did you ever?

CYGNUS - THE SWAN . . . you fell for a vision. no, literally, a vision. they say you only dream up faces you've seen in real life, and for some reason, cordelia is that face. maybe she visits you in dreams and messes with your head, or maybe she's that serial killer who runs after you down the never-ending hallway with a knife in her hand and a smile on her face. how do you deal with seeing her . . . all the time?

GEMINI - THE TWINS . . . something happened and you were both in a tough situation, with cordelia being in the tougher of the two. you two strike a deal to help one another, but you tell her that she owes you. whatever she owes you, that's the deal ( please don't be weird about it tho ) and, for as long as you'd like, she can run around and do your errands for you, tell everyone your blunt opinion of them ( she's pretty good at that ) or just have to listen to you sing the entire aladdin soundtrack over and over again at 3 am. your call.

LYRA - THE LYRE . . . cordelia's never been the type to truly understand people. she always thought that it was because she was so sheltered growing up, really choosing to spend her time with her parents and a select friends from school. however, as she's grown up, she's come to learn that she does want to understand people . . . she just can't. not for trying, but she's too blunt, too sardonic, too -- cordelia. which is why she enlists your help. you're the golden child and she'd like a little bit of that sparkle to shine on her, thank you very much.

ORION - THE HUNTER . . . call it fate, destiny, whatever you will -- something brought you and cordelia together for a fun summer romance. however, now that summer’s melted into fall and everything is getting colder, so did your romance. you broke it off in a way that you thought was amicable but cordelia would be quick to disagree with. she doesn’t want you back, per say, but she does wish that she could have had better closure than a single text message . . . then again, she wasn’t exactly an angel in the relationship either. after she drops off one of your hoodies, you find a crumpled up note stuck in the pocket of someone confessing their love for cordelia . . . during your relationship. seriously, it includes your name and everything! do you confront her, or do you try and get the pair together?

URSA MAJOR - THE BIG BEAR . . . she didn’t mean to, honestly !! you just so happened to be hit by that star and, oh god, it’s like the entire ordeal with her parents all over again. only except she doesn’t really know you. every day during your stint in the hospital, you receive a bouquet of beautiful flowers -- maybe they’re your favorites or maybe they’re the type you cannot stand -- with the same note. i’m sorry. you figure it isn’t from anyone you know; it can’t be, can it? on your second-to-last day, the apologetic message is accompanied by an address and a little, scratchy handwritten note asking to meet someone there. against your better judgement you do, but no one is there . . . until you look up in the sky to see an incredible array of different-colored gasses ,you’ve never seen a nebula up close, save for photographs. a tall, black-haired girl walks beside you and begins to explain that she did not mean to hit you with a shooting star. she was simply practicing but her aim isn’t where it needs to be. do you believe this girl, or run as far as you can away from her?

[husbandograveyard]

Matchup for @jordimac33​

I’m very excited I made it! Thank you Hazel!! 💕

My name is Jordan, but all my friends call me Jordie. I’m 23 and 5'10". I’m bisexual. My Myers Briggs is INTP, and my zodiac sign is Cancer (everytime I open my horoscope it feels like a personal attack). I have brown eyes with glasses, and short brown hair shaved along the sides & back. I have a couple of stray freckles around my chin and down my shoulders. I played Ice hockey up until college so I’m still pretty lean. Hockey made my legs pretty strong & thick and they’re probably my favorite feature on myself. I’ve got two really big passions in my life, baking and my friends & family. Baking is something that has always brought me a lot of joy, and it’s something I can share with the people that I care about. I was always a firm believer that my love language to others was gift giving, especially with food. Everytime someone is feeling low or upset pastries have a way of appearing. It’s something I can see myself doing happily for the rest of my life, so I’m trying to make a career out of it. I’m my 2nd year of a pastry program in culinary school, so I’m constantly trying different recipes out on my friends and coworkers. When I’m not baking up a storm, I’m normally burning through any book I can get my hands on. History and fantasy adventure stories have always been my favorite. I come from a pretty big family that saw each other regularly, so I’ve come to love the chaos. Being that close really made me treasure my friendships as well. Family & friends always come first for me, it doesn’t matter what I’m doing i’ll drop it to be there for them. I’m normally the one people head to for comfort/advice, and I thrive off of that. I’m not always comfortable being in the foreground, but I absolutely love being able to support the people who are. My biggest fear is probably being alone, I flourish in environments with lots of people I care about. I hate the thought of being left behind.

I hope I hit all the points you needed, sorry if I’m long winded! 😬 Thank you again Hazel!! 💕

Hiya Jordan (can I call you Jordie?) Dont worry about being long winded, the more info I get the better! :D The baking talents sound amazing (and now im hungry TwT ) I hope you like these matches for you! I match you with...

OTP: Katakuri 

Into sweets? Big family? A lot of chaos? Unwavering loyalty? I think all the marks get checked right here! Your pastries are a great way of winning him over, breaking that stoic first wall and getting him to trust and eventually love you. The biggest hurdle is allowing you to see his face, and from there on out, it’s pretty much smooth sailing. 

Despite his hard exterior and overwhelming power, Kata is pretty insecure and a softie once you get closer. He loves and admires your cooking, preferring it over whatever the chefs make, because of the secret ingrediënt only you can provide: love. You’re the only person ever to be invited to his merienda. 

Once you get past the initial hard exterior, you will find that he can be pretty affectionate. Usually not in public but within the walls of your own home you can unleash all the affections you have, and he will carefully reciprocate, treating you with utmost care and softness. He gets easily flustered whenever you initiate even a cuddle session but will never reject you or let you down, after all, he likes it too. 

He loves that you adapt to such a big family so well and get along with everyone so easily. No matter how weird or dysfunctional this family is sometimes, Katakuri does care about his siblings and the fact that you somehow feel comforted in the chaos does make him happy. The fact that you are so supportive and someone everyone in the family can come and talk to makes you fit in perfectly and all around loved! 

Dates, besides the obvious baking and tasting include long walks around the various islands, just for exercise since you both like some activity, as well as letting you find all kinds of new flavors and ingredients that are so prominently available on the many islands! Katakuri likes to take you to Big mom’s huge library every now and then. He himself is not really an avid reader, but can stare for hours as you lose yourself in the endless bookcollection that there is. 

Runner up: Nico Robin 

A shared love for books and history, the two of you can speak for hours about diverse topic, have intense yet polite discussions, and a whole array of inside jokes. Honestly, you two could spend hours upon hours talking and never get tired nor bored of each other. Anyone listening in on a conversation would either be gravely disturbed, thoroughly confused of have no idea what either of you are talking about, and purposfully picking the most strange things to talk about in places where others can overhear it just to shock them slowly becomes a hobby, even if neither of you has every explicitly said that the goal was to disturb eavesdropping people.  

You both like being supportive in the background, the caretakers of the crew so to say, and are usually the first ones the crew comes to when it is actual advice they need. You’re also each other’s first line whenever either one of you need help. 

Why she’s not the one: Robin can endure chaos very well, is even amused by it, but in the end, she thrives in solitude and needs time to herself quite often to be able to give her all to you. In those times, she can be a little cold, and even though it’s nothing personal, it is not ideal for someone who thrives on companionship. 

BrOTP: Sanj

Silently supporting your friends in the background with love; strong legs and heaps of great food. Sanji and you bond over food and make a hobby out of coming up with new desserts; one more creative and insane than the other, each and every single one of them tasty, great looking and still relatively nutricious. 

You are the first one in the background waiting with a towel to throw at his face the moment he loses control over the bloodflow to his nose when he spots someone to swoon over and the first one to drag him back into the kitchen where both of you thrive. 

Favorite pastime is doing challenges: think of the most insane cooking shows with desserts you’ve seen and now apply that craziness to the both of you, some timers and your crew/friends in the background as the jury both to keep an eye on you following the rules and as taste-testers (after all there will be no food wasted). 

[today-we-will-survive]

moodboard made by me

Title: Perfect

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader ft. Dragonite

Genre: Pokemon!au, fluff, crack

Word Count: 1.9K

The sound of your phone receiving a text message cuts through the dark silence of the early morning. You groan, peeling one eye open to glare at your nightstand. Really? You reach over because your curiosity is too strong even in your three-quarters still asleep state. Luckily, “pre-sleep you” was smart enough to dim your screen before going to bed so the dulled brightness is only a little assaulting to your retinas when you push the home button. Immediately, a tired smile spreads your mouth wide, all animosity felt toward the sender diminishing when you see that it’s none other than the boy you’ve been texting nonstop for the past two weeks.

Joonie: hey, r u awake?

Y/N: I am now :)

Joonie: shoot Im sorry …

Y/N: no its okay. I would hav been mad if it was anyone else.

Joonie: well, I promise I hav a reason for texting u this early.

Y/N: yea, u do realize its still dark outside, right?

Joonie: thats actually why I texted u. R u busy?

Y/N: …what do u think?

Joonie: right. duh. sleeping. well…

Joonie: do u want to go for a ride with me?

Y/N: a ride? like a car ride?

Joonie: um…not exactly…how quickly could u get ready?

Y/N: depends on what “ready” means.

Joonie: hmm dress for cold weather.

Y/N: its the middle of summer, joon. Even at 4 in the morning its already prolly 60 degrees out. How cold r we talking here?

Joonie: really cold.

Y/N: Im confused.

Joonie: just trust me.

It feels so wrong to be shrugging on the winter coat you had to dig out of the back of your closet as you head out of your apartment. Luckily, no one else is out at this ungodly hour which saves you from having to endure the confused looks. Though if you did run into someone, they’d see that you’re just as confused. That is, until you make it outside where Namjoon said he’d be to meet you. You expected him to be waiting for you in his car. Even on foot wouldn’t be as surprising as the scene you step into once you’re out the front door of your apartment.

Your eyes settle on the giant, orange dragon standing in the middle of the road. The thing is massive. You’ve seen a few Dragonite in your lifetime but never one as big as this thing. It has to be at least twelve feet tall. And while initially it’s terrifying to see such a giant Pokémon just standing there right outside of your apartment—and staring at you, nonetheless—the fear melts away as you meet its eyes. There’s something gentle about the way it looks at you curiously. Its rounded nose and crinkling eyes almost make it look like the thing is smiling.

“Hey, Y/N!”

You only just now realize that the Dragonite isn’t here by itself and you tear your gaze away from its own to look further back at the boy sitting just above its wings.

“Namjoon?” His own eyes lift along with his mouth into a bright smile and even though it’s dark out—the only light being that from the streetlamp across the street and down a bit—you can still see those deep dimples that had you captivated in the first place. “What are you doing here?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to go for a ride,” he says and reaches up to pat his Dragonite on the head. The Pokémon lets out a contented noise, the sound echoing down the block and you take an intimidated step backward.

“Uh, is it safe?” you ask. That was a dumb question. Obviously it is or Namjoon wouldn’t be offering, right?

“Completely,” he replies then swings his leg out from over its wing and slides down off its back. He holds out a hand to you and smiles wider, those dimples growing impossibly deeper. “I have a surprise for you.”

You look down at his offered hand. You haven’t known Namjoon for very long. You met him only about a month ago when he first started volunteering at the Pokémon Center you work at.

You remember his first day there, how you couldn’t seem to keep your eyes from wandering over to him whenever the two of you were in the same room. How you couldn’t help but go a bit soft when you saw the way he handled each Pokémon with such care and tenderness, how he’d speak so gently to them, how they would visibly relax at his soothing words.

He was nice to you from the get-go. The two of you would exchange playful banter and joke around quite a bit. It was obvious you liked each other and you wanted to address it, but at the same time you were so worried that he was just one of those guys that’s nice to everyone and to say anything would just make things awkward. It was a relief when he finally broke down and asked for your number. You gave it to him maybe a little too eagerly but luckily for you, he thought your excitement was cute—and you blushed when he said as much.

But here he is now, that gentle smile on his handsome face, his eyes sparkling, his hand held out to you and you can’t help but feel intrigue and excitement bubbling up inside you. Even if it weren’t for your overpowering curiosity, what kind of person would pass up the opportunity to ride on the back of a Dragonite? And a giant one nonetheless. These are your last thoughts as you shyly reach up to place your hand in his and smile back at him. His hand is so warm wrapped around yours and so solid as he tugs you toward the giant Pokémon behind him.

You watch as Namjoon climbs back up onto it then he reaches down and you wrap your fingers around his wrist. He grips your own wrist and pulls hard. You can’t help the squeal that escapes as he pulls you up so easily with just his one arm. You scramble up, being careful where you place your feet so you don’t accidentally step on the joint where the wings connect to the dragon Pokémon’s back as you settle down behind Namjoon. He still has ahold of your one hand and now you reach around with the other to join it with the first.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Dragonite as big as this one,” you say. He feels so warm and solid in your arms even through both of your coats.

“I rescued it when it was still just a Dratini from that lab on Cinnabar Island.”

“I’ve heard of that place,” you say. “They do some pretty awful stuff there to Pokémon, don’t they?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon utters and you can hear the anger in his voice. “I’m not sure what they did to it but it was already bigger than any Dratini I’d ever seen before. And I knew that wasn’t normal and that I needed to get it out of there. Luckily, there doesn’t seem to be any other negative effects from whatever they did to it.” Namjoon pats the Pokémon on the head again, eliciting another happy, echoing moan from it.

“You’re amazing,” you utter and immediately feel your cheeks turn red. Did you really just say that out loud?

Namjoon turns his head so he can see you out of the corner of his eye and his cheek lifts in another dimpled grin. “Nah,” he says. “I just try to be a good person, you know?”

You nod and the two of you sit in silence atop the Pokémon for several more moments.

“So, uh,” you finally say. “Is this what you wanted to show me?”

Namjoon perks up. “Oh right,” he says and gives his Dragonite two firm pats on its neck. The Dragonite shifts, dipping its head low and unfolding its wings from either side of you. Then with a hard push against the ground, it kicks up into the air and you squeal, clutching onto the boy in front of you for dear life.

He lets out a chuckle. “It’s okay, Y/N,” he assures you. “Just keep ahold of me and you won’t fall.”

“Will do,” you reply though you don’t think he can hear you over the wind whistling past your ears.

It’s a good thing you’re holding onto him so tightly because as soon as the Dragonite reaches an incredibly terrifying height—the city lights below you now looking more like stars than the actual ones above you—you remember reading that Dragonite can actually fly faster than the speed of sound. And just as you tighten your grip even more on Namjoon’s waist, the dragon Pokémon shoots forward, cutting through the night sky like a bullet. You grit your teeth and press your cheek against Namjoon’s back to keep the wind from stealing your breath away.

Much to your relief, it’s not long before you feel the Dragonite begin to slow down again and when it’s at last going at a more comfortable pace, you lift your head and peer around. It’s still kind of dark out but now the sky is more of a medium blue and the stars have disappeared. Nothing but ocean stretches for miles below you.

“Where are we?” you ask looking around confusedly.

“Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean,” Namjoon replies nonchalantly.

You nod slowly. “And why, exactly are we somewhere over the Pacific Ocean?”

The boy places his hands over your own. They’re much warmer than yours and suddenly you’re glad he told you to dress warmly because it is freaking freezing up there over the ocean. “Because I wanted to show you that,” he says then nods at the horizon in front of him.

You focus farther ahead, past Namjoon’s shoulders and over Dragonite’s head until your eyes land on the line where the ocean ends and the sky begins. At first, you can’t see much of a separation between the two similar shades of blue, but then a sliver of bright orange appears, awakening the sky, shooting streaks of lavender upward. Your breath catches as you watch in silent awe.

The sun rises faster than you thought it would, every inch it gains throwing different colors like buckets of paint across the sky. From dazzling pink to sherbet orange to marigold, and the ocean reflects them all back, the rising sun at the epicenter of this incredible masterpiece being created before you.

You feel tears spring to your eyes and you immediately feel like an absolute dork for being moved to tears by something like a sunrise but the sight along with the feeling of Namjoon’s thumbs rubbing circles across the back of your hand just sends your emotions into overdrive.

This is perfect.

This is perfect and you never want it to end. In a moment of impulsivity, you lean forward and rest your chin on Namjoon’s shoulder. The simple gesture feels so intimate in this silence and maybe he sees it as that too because you hear his breath hitch and his thumb freezes on your skin for a split second before continuing the motion. His own cheek rests against the side of your head and you sigh.

Too perfect.

[tasyoungreckless]

may these memories break our fall. – Nashville secret sessions story

“Is that Kara?” she asked loudly over the music as she grabbed my hands and twirled me around. I was stumbling on the pillows below my feet but grasped her hands so tight. All I could do was aggressively nod and hope she couldn’t see the tears forming in my eyes in the dark, candle-lit room.

I have read dozens, if not hundreds of Taylor meet and greet stories. I have cried out of love for her and happiness for my friends and sadness that it wasn’t me. I have felt so close to meeting her and insanely disappointed when it didn’t happen. But the feeling I had on October 25? The feeling like my dreams were coming true but that I was also maybe going to pass out? That feeling was worth it. It was worth everything to me. So, here’s my story. It’s been a long time in the making. (I’m leaving out the stuff from before because it was just getting so long, but I got my message on tumblr from TN on Saturday and my call on Sunday. i bought flights Monday and my mom insisted on flying from DC and meeting me there to make sure it was all legit, even though she couldn’t come with).

OKAY SO once we got to the secret spot, I saw people I recognized and made lots of friends waiting (hi everyone!!!) We got checked in, did security all that jazz. We finally got to her house and mingled outside and ate. There were chick-fil-a nuggets (which is so funny because a few months ago I messaged Taylor to come to my Fourth of July party and all I said was “Come to my party. We will have chick fil a nuggets” LOL. on brand) and sushi and the REP cookies and M&Ms. Not a lot of people were eating much but you BET YOUR ASS i was chowing down. 

They let us into the room where we would listen to the album and I got a spot slightly to the left of where Taylor would be sitting. The floor was just covered in blankets and pillows and it looked like a huge slumber party was about to go down. 

Before we knew it, Taylor walked in with Abigail and of course we all lost it. I think you have all seen what they were wearing by now, but god they looked like angels. Taylor looked exactly like I imagined and yet so different too. It is such a strange feeling seeing someone you have always seen in pictures in real life. Someone you see virtually every single day. I teared up because I just was so so excited and felt like it wasn’t real life. 

So obviously y’all know what is next and that is she played us all of reputation. The album blew me away. It’s not like I was surprised, because I knew it would be good, but like it was just SO good?! And so cool to watch Taylor and Abi, Tree, Andrea and Scott singing along and doing these little dances. All of us were just JAMMING on the floor listening along.

I thought it was really incredible how Taylor made eye contact with every single person in that room. Every single one. Multiple times. It didn’t matter where you were sitting. She looked at you and sang to you and smiled so big. I love her. 

It was when we got to Look What You Made Me Do that she decided we could have a little dance party to shake out our legs and take a break. Someone dimmed the lights and since we all knew this song, we were able to just sing (scream?) the lyrics together with our idol dancing along our side, which was a dream. She was towards the middle of the room, so I made my way over there to dance near her. 

Before I knew it, she reached out to grab my hands and looked me dead in the eye. “Is that Kara?” she asked me, trying to get closer to see my face. It was like a million butterflies were released in my stomach at once. I was in shock. I was so happy. But I was speechless. I nodded and we danced to the bridge. It was literally at the “I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams” part, which was my tumblr bio. SO ON BRAND. SO PERFECT.

So we heard the rest of the songs and they continued to blow us away. Before long, we had finished the album. She was so honest with us about each song and I absolutely love her for that. She trusts us so much it is unreal. And y’all are not prepared for how good this album is. i CANNOT WAIT

OKAY OKAY NOW THE FUN MEETING HER PART

At first they called a few people by name to go first, but then they let everyone else just go whenever they wanted. A bunch of people seemed to want to wait until the end, but I knew my nerves would only get worse. I watched her meet some people from the corner, which was so incredible. It is honestly almost as exciting as meeting her yourself. You get to watch how she interacts with each person and takes her time. She also looks them dead in the eye and listens so intently. She never rushed anyone. It was beautiful.

OKAY SO FAST FOWARD TO MY TURN HERE WE GO

“Kara!!! Oh my god I’m so happy you’re here!” she said as she quickly walked toward me with her arms outstretched. I hugged her so tight trying to keep the tears back.

“Thank you SO much for coming!”

“Are you kidding, thank you so much for having me!”

We pulled away from the hug and I was looking right in her eyes, slightly looking up because she’s so tall. She said something along the lines of “I’m so glad we are finally meeting. You’re so lovely!” and I just sort of laughed and said “Oh my god Taylor, my mom isn’t going to believe you said that” (referring to her knowing my name and such).

“But you are Kara! You’re so lovely and sweet. Like you’re amazing, tell her I said that!”

oKAY SO YOU KNOW IM DYING ON THE INSIDE BUT TRYING TO STAY COMPOSED. MY LEGS WERE SORTA SHAKING BUT I WAS DOING BETTER THAN EXPECTED. 

I tried to keep myself together and tell her how much I loved reputation and just said “Taylor, the album is amazing” and she smiled, but she looked a bit distracted as she was looking at me and sort of interrupted and just said “Kara you’re even more beautiful in person. Like you are so naturally beautiful! Like you aren’t even wearing makeup and you’re so pretty?!”

excuse me WHAT. In my head I’m laughing as I know I’m definitely wearing makeup but that a lot of it came off when I cried earlier and that I don’t wear all that much in general but like WHAT I WAS SO SHOOK LIKE SHE CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL ??? THE FUCK 

All that I could muster up was a “Oh my God” and “thank you so much” as I wrapped my arms around her neck again and she pulled me in for a hug (and yes she smells so good like a vanilla goddess).

So after she SHOWERED me with compliments that my poor heart couldn’t handle, I knew I had a few things I could talk about with her. I told her about studying abroad in London last semester and she asked what school. I explained my program through my home university and told her about how I interned in SoHo. I joked because I told her I knew she was there at the same time, supposedly undercover, and said that we probably ran into each other on Oxford Street. She said how amazing it was that I had that opportunity. We talked about other places I traveled and I mentioned going to the Canary Islands for spring break and said “how casual” and she laughed and nodded. I just said how much I loved London and that city life. She said something along the lines of “That is soooo amazing. You’re getting to see the world and have these opportunities! I’m so excited to see all you do, Kara. I’m so proud of you!” she said, giggling.

....this woman....is proud of ME....im proud of YOU you queen WHAT 

I think I said “thank you so much for saying that” and hugged her again. I needed a second to think of the next thing to talk about so I asked her if we could take our picture. She said of course and pointed to the mantle behind us that had Grammys and Moonmen and a bunch of her awards on it. “Do we want to hold a Grammy or something?”, but I hesitated and said “well..” and she asked “or did you have a pose in mind?” and I just said “Can we just act we’re best friends having the night of our lives because that’s basically how I feel right now” and she smiled and said “of course!”

So we turned towards the camera, which was probably the only time I looked away from her during our entire time together, and we hugged super tight and I smiled bigger than I probably ever have before. I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE IT BUT IM NERVOUS 

She turned back to me and I still had a few more things to say and ask. Something I thought about during the session was just a silly question for her. “So I’m in college and like I just need to know what’s your favorite drinking game?” and she laughs and says “Oh God, my favorite drinking game?!” as she turned away to think about it. “Well I will play any of them and I love playing them…and I sorta think that’s the problem…” and she smirked at me. I NEED TO GET DRUNK WITH TAYLOR SWIFT ONE DAY OKAY LIKE WHAT 

I was feeling like my time was running out so I hugged her again and she said “It’s so cool meeting you. Like I sort of feel like I’m just your older sister…just like stalking you on the internet” and my jaw kind of dropped. “I love seeing your life online and I’m sure we will talk there!” and I just said “That means so much to me. Thank you so so much” and we hugged again.

“I’ll see you on tour and of course online,” I said. She smiled and said goodbye and that it was nice to meet me. I turned to leave and looked behind my shoulder and just said, “love you!”

It was the most surreal experience ever. I think i blacked out like i can barely remember it anymore, but wow it was so amazing and the fact that she KNEW ME AND RECOGNIZED ME made it even more incredible ? i never expected that in a hundred million years. 

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF SHE STALKED ME AFTER AND LIKED SIX OF MY POSTS ABOUT THAT NIGHT INCLUDING DANCING WITH ME AND RECOGNIZING ME. LIEK WHAT THE FUCK SHES SO INCREDIBLE AND I FEEL SO SO LUCKY. PLEASE DONT GIVE UP YALL I NEVER EVER SAW THIS COMING

From the bottom of my heart, thank you Taylor and thank you Taylor Nation. I didn’t think things like this could just happen to people like me ? I’ve never felt that special or deserving of things like this, but you’ve proved that we all deserve this opportunity. I love you so so SO much. I’m still not sure how it happened, but oh my god am I glad it did. I will never forget this as long as I live. 

See you on tour and online, big sister. 

[chickenfetus]

ALL!!!! (also the gemini sqUAD LOL)

im gonna enjoy a nice cup of water while doing this bc idk a tea (update i didnt drink water at all and now im dying of thirst,, also undercut bc many)

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?

i dont wake up early enough to see the sunrise and when i do i never manage to take pics bc of school so peachy sunsets

2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?

idk what a sugar cone is but i like waffle cones!!! havent eaten ice cream with a cone in forever though,, i rarely eat ice cream now

3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?

listen…. its about 33 degrees everyday but even if im in a colder country i dont wear scarves

4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?

this depends?? on how motivated im feeling lmao never more than 10 minutes though because if i lay awake for that long ill just fall back asleep

5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?

i dont think so?? im bad at trying new things especially food

6: What does your umbrella look like?

i dont.. go outside often and whenever i do i take public transport so basically everythings sheltered so i never had a need for umbrellas

7: Do you listen to ASMR?

ive only listened to one everybody please listen to this gift

8: Rain storms or a light drizzle?

both, preferably when im indoors

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?

hm??????????? my tags lmao 

UPDATE: i also really like reading other people’s tags and their rambles that is all

10: Favorite color aesthetic?

does the word aesthetic make this question any different from a normal favourite colour question???? if it doesnt then sky blue 

11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?

in this house we draw lines with no ruler like men (but also because even if i did use a ruler it wouldnt be like… straight idk i cant use rulers

12:  Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?

neutral cozy living room but i also love basking in sunlight 

13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?

im not a big fan of heavy smelling products so i dont own any candles

14: Have you ever rode a horse?

i dont think so??????? ive seen horses before though

15: Do you have glasses?

without my glasses i wouldnt be able to read these questions lmao and . .. theyre also a result of watching pokemon too closely to the tv at a young age… its been like 10 years since i got glasses

16: What’s a language you’d like to speak?

japanese i tried speaking it but i got 2 embarrassed to say anything properly while i was in japan (i cant even speak english properly to a friend whyd i think i could speak another language to a stranger beats me) 

17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?

my singaporean no season ass: ? but autumn and november (is this cutting it too close to winter? idk my seasons)

18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

hm not really i just wear blue ankle socks a lot but my friend did give me a pair of pokemon and gudetama socks before and i adore those although i lost the gudetama ones in the uk last year she got me another pair whatd i do to deserve her?

19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie

m .. um? big. hero 6?????? 

20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar?

my dumb ass didnt know they were different

21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?

i rarely go and watch movies anymore but when i did watch a lot of movies with my friend at the theater we’d get afternoon shows and sneak mcdonalds in lmao

22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?

how about band? day6 i only ever play pokemon + sif + bandori so i cant say much and i rarely watch movies and a show? if its an anime id say the one i mentioned before in my one text post 

23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?

not really rip 

24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite?

HM mmmmmm there was this one but i forgot the name lmao pass

25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.)

when im the … audience? what do u call it???? i like seeing all kinda of art styles!!! everyone has their own unique art style and i love it all :o

for ME,, , ive been doing art for 6 years maybe and i still cant do shit

26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers?

i would die straight up die thats such a soft concept i cant imagine myself receiving flowers thats 2 sweet oh my god wtf id combust??? i prefer leaves though is that weird i picked some nice leaves recently and im gonna give those to my friends

27: Do you like nicknames?

giving and having nicknames is my favorite past time

28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time?

pokemon lmao thank u 4 not ending it…. the animation has only improved and im so proud to have been watching it since the start pokemon is my special thing i love it so much!! an interest that never died down, with an anime that stays super like idk to my preference? i tried watching the new digimon stuff but i just couldnt :^( im glad they made ash stay the main character 

29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)

never forget dat boi

30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?)

we dont celebrate halloween and i would never cosplay, big shoutout to cosplayers though!!! they put in so much effort and just, respect!!!!! 

i dont know if this is an actual memory because i dont remember well but when i was younger i thiNK? i had to dress up as a swan thing i have no clue i dont even remember the performance but i might have had to ?? and dance??? or act i dont remember everythings fuzzy but i dressed up a swan once? in kindergarten ????? 

31:  Are you a fashionable person?

i have the worst fashion sense and even though jeans are nice once again the weather here doesnt allow me to be as fashionable as i can be

32: Do you like watching holiday movies?

not realyyy??? the jack frost (rip) movie was ncie????

33:  Cookies or brownies?

i live 4 chocolate chip cookies but too much is . . not preferable

34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath?

no i hate breathing in & out from my mouth

35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing?

WELL from the great cockroach ordeal last night id probably die bc we live in an apartment building so the only way id be hearing crickets would be if they were in the ROOM 

36: Do you like cobblestone streets?

my only knowledge of cobblestone is from minecraft so idk

37:  How often do you doodle?

when school was still relevant i would doodle as soon as i picked up a pencil lmao i try not to anymore bc i doodled on my math assignment and forgot to fucking erase it and my math teacher called me out

38: When was the last time you blew bubbles?

a year ago?? i dont remember but i do remember when i was younger id try and blow bubbles at the void deck do yall kno what that is its just a space near the lift lobby anyway i swallowed the soap thing idk u know how ur supposed to blow? well i sucked the soap in yum

39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?

in my room its the bed and in the house its the water bottle that contains water

40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often?

i………………………… i dont actualy kno how to clip my nails and my mum would kill me if i tried but i dont bite my nails either

41: Any birthmarks?

not that i know of

42: Thoughts on freckles?

ive never actually seen someone with freckles in public before but theyre good stuff i gueess?? i dont actually have an opinion on them? everyone says theyre cute and all but im just ??? not that i hate freckles tho if u have freckles? thats cool! 

43: First video game you ever played?

pokemon pearl?? either that or megaman on my ps3 OR the bomb square guy????? idk the game name but.. ya

44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?

i dont know what the bird species are but theyre small black birds not crows idk

45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?

memes yes gifs no bc im not lame like jen

46: Thoughts on spring?

no comment?? i mean? its nice??????? i guess ??? if we had a spring

47: Ideal temperature outside?

oh boy 20 degrees would be enough for me but its never gotten that low before sunny island’s life

48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?

i like clear skies when its bright! but not too sunny and not too warm!!!!! clouds are nice to look at too though

49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?

yeah we live near an airport i dont think anybody uses????

50: Do you enjoy windy days?

windy days are my SHIT back in school our basketball court was open spaced and whenevr wind blew we could feel it man thats the life right there but i hate windy days when im sitting at home bc it flows the curtains rigth into my face i like the feel of the wind and the smell of fresh air but… curtains in my face? not 2 great so rip i close all the windows lmao

okay thank u so much 4 asking falen i love you and wow this was a lot

[gayninjabadass]

“Anyone with eyes...”

Here it is guys the moment we have all been waiting for thank you so much @irenedrew your pictures turned out so so beautiful and I’m so excited to be able to SEE my story alive like that. Collaborating has made this extra fun and I hope everyone who reads this story and sees your art is as excited as I am!

This story is for the prompt 

"I really want to see the Captain of the Desus ship, Rick, get fed up with the non-movement of the sip and call all hands on deck to get it sailing."

Ill include an AO3 link if that’s your preferred format otherwise read more!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10849887

Please do not repost, link to another site, or remove water marks from Irenedrew’s work without her consent!!!

Wednesday:

4:30 pm,

Rick’s house.

Rick stood against the mantel of his Alexandrian home with his arms folded. The core of his group, his family, was beginning to disperse after wrapping up their regular Wednesday meeting before dinner. As Daryl crosses the room in front of him Rick watches the way Jesus eyes trail after Daryl. He sits in his place beside Maggie on the couch appearing to manage listening to her at the same time as he tracks Daryl. His eyes land on Rick briefly before darting back to Maggie no doubt he feels the steely blue gaze that still lingers on him. Rick wasn't worried about starring He wants Jesus to know he is looking at him. He needs Jesus to linger after the meeting so he can talk to him and Rick is pretty sure that Jesus will get the message.

Rick had been watching this now for months. He saw the lingering looks Daryl gave Jesus when Jesus was too preoccupied to notice. He saw the way Jesus looked at Daryl all the time, seeming to enjoy the flustered response Daryl gave him or otherwise unconcerned when Daryl didn't notice. Rick had hoped if he just left things alone Daryl would come around in his own time but something Daryl had said to him recently was still bouncing around in his head and it became obvious Daryl was going to need a bit of a push.

Monday:Earlier that week.

Noon,

Rick’s house.

After getting back from a run to find clothes for the ever growing population of children, Daryl stops in Rick's kitchen to drink a glass of water. He leans heavily on the light pink marble counter, tipping his head back and gulping down two full glasses allowing driblets of water to escape the sides of his mouth before slowing down to take smaller sips of the third glass. Rick approaches him cautiously. He had been meaning to talk to Daryl this entire run. It was the reason he had suggested they go together in the first place. He hadn't been going on runs as often since the war ended, his efforts were needed elsewhere, besides Jesus, Daryl, Aaron and Tara were always willing to go. Rick sighs and looks hard at Daryl, accepting that it was now or never. Daryl beats him to it.

.

“What cha got on yer mind?”

Daryls low rumbling voice doesn't sound hesitant like it did when he first got back from the sanctuary. He had never talked much in the first place but after being held captive he said even less and what he did say sounded empty and lifeless. It still sent relief flooding through Ricks body everytime he heard Daryl sounding like his old self. Losing Glenn has been hard but feeling like he had lost Daryl while he stood right infront of him might have been just as painful. Jesus had rescued Daryl, a debt Rick will never be able to repay and that was when Daryl and Jesus first started spending a lot of time together. Somehow they are always within spitting distance of each other, when looking for one you could just find the other. Over those months Rick saw how Jesus slowly managed to get a smirk from Daryl, a huff of air that might be Daryl's laugh, a playful shove or a lazy swat of the hand that Jesus had no trouble dodging. Rick has never seen anyone reach Daryl as quickly as Jesus. He is certain that his brother has feelings for the bearded scout. He thinks now might be a good time for one of his signature Rick speeches. They almost always work on Daryl.

“I was thinkin’ ...”

Rick drops his gaze before rolling his eyes back up and giving Daryl a quirked eyebrow.

“You and Jesus seem to be gettin’ pretty close.”

Daryls shoulders tensed and he lets his hair drop over his eyes while he lifts a thumbnail to nibble on.

“So what?”

Drayls grunt comes out even more mumbled around the nail caught between his teeth and Rick sighs placing his hands on his hips. At least Daryl wasn't denying anything yet. Before Rick can finish sucking in a breath Daryl cuts him off.

“No. nuh-uh.”

“What?”

Rick asks sheepishly.

“Yer gonna do the speech thing. Ya got yer hip cocked an everything’”

Daryl walks around the kitchen island making a B-line for the front porch but Rick jumps in front of the doorway just before Daryl can pass through it. Their chests bump and Daryl takes two long steps back before pacing back and forth reminding Rick of Ezekiel's tiger Shiva.

“Just listen alright?”

Daryl snorts sending some of the wispy hairs on his face fluttering.

“Ya aint givin’ me much choice are ya?”

Rick grins devilishly.

“Exactly. I just want you to know that yer ma brother and I want to see ya happy. And you do seem happy around ‘im. No One here would judge you. Life ain't just waiting fer the next war Daryl. The next Governor, the next Grady, the next Negan. That's what you do. You wait, you help us move on but yer always the first one ready when the fight breaks out ‘cause you never stop. The war is over. Negan is locked up. We’ve got trade deals with four different communities. This is the new world we are building. You can relax.”

Daryl who has been pacing this entire speech whirls around on Rick. Leaning into his space. He doesn't raise his voice. Daryl never raises his voice anymore. Now where he once would have shouted he speaks in a low harrowing tone that sends ice down your spine.

“Relax? I ain't gonna Relax. At the Prison we let shit settle and then we watched Hershel's head roll off his shoulders. Out with Beth we relaxed, sang some damn songs, tried to feed a dog then she got took. Relaxin’ is how people die. ‘Sides it ain't like that. Jesus he don't, we ain't”

Daryl trails off shifting uncomfortably in front of Rick before shoving his finger back between his teeth. Rick understood now what was holding Daryl back. All the people alive today can relate to that. The fear of letting people in, of being really happy, knowing that at any moment the rug could get pulled from under you.

“Daryl, what will you regret more? Never tryin’ or gettin’ what ya want and losing it? Yer alive. Yer still here. Ya still get to try. What would Hershel say? What about Beth? Don't ya think they would want you to be happy?”

Rick knows it's a low blow using the dead against him like that but he needs to make Daryl understand. He needs to reach him. He tries to do it with just his gaze now as he waits for a response. Daryl stares at Rick just shaking his head once as an answer. Rick lets out a long sigh again, squeezing the bridge of his nose. Maybe talking to Daryl first wasn't the right choice after all, it was only making him certain that he wasn't done being involved, and Daryl was going to shut him out. Its best to communicate to Daryl in your actions whenever possible. On top of that this time his speech was too unfocused. Rick had to go and try to talk it out with him but he isn't saying the right thing. He is getting frustrated.  

“Look. I won't make ya do anythin’ but anyone with eyes can see you have feelings for the man. You don't just cozy up to new people everyday. ‘specially not people who steal from ya the first time you meet. Didn't you try to kill Dwight at least 3 times?“

“Was different”

Daryls grunt only serve to make Rick roll his eyes.

“Yeah ‘cause Dwight don’t have that pretty hair am I right?”

Daryls posture goes Rigid and his face flushes red.

“I dunno the fuck yer on abou’”

Rick isn't trying to push Daryl he just can't believe how oblivious he seems to be. He has a sharp eye, can read people in a second, he is bright even though Daryl would never agree with Rick about that.

“Oh come on Daryl. He looks at you the same way you look at him. Ya must have noticed that by now.”

Daryl is vibrating with energy his fists balled at his sides.

“He can do better.”

He checks his shoulder into RIck pushing him back just enough for him to slip through the doorway and out the front of the house before Rick regains his balance.  Rick drops his head and rests his hands on his hips looking at the door swinging closed. That had not gone as well as he’d hoped.

Wednesday:

5:00 pm

Rick’s house

It is just Maggie, Jesus and Rick in the room now. Maggie is talking with her hands mapping out whatever she is describing and Jesus follows with his eyebrows pulled together in concentration. Rick hesitates interrupting them. Maggie had taken on a lot of responsibility at Hilltop and making the trip every Wednesday to be in this meeting must get in the way of her other responsibilities since she always seemed to be working something out when she came.

Ultimately Rick decides to approach the pair. Jesus, Maggie and this time Daryl will all be heading back to Hilltop at sundown. Night travel had recently been reintroduced after the war had ended and the Walker population thinned. Daryl had stuck around Alexandria after last weeks meeting, Aaron and Eric had convinced him to visit for longer by using Judith, they knew Daryl had a soft spot for her and they kindly pointed out that she missed him now that he lived at Hilltop.  With dinner about to start this might be the last chance Rick has to talk to Jesus before he and Daryl are out of reach for a week.

Rick comes to a stop standing by the sitting pair drawing Jesus’s attention first. He gives Rick a meek smile folding his hands delicately across his lap a gesture Rick recognizes as his “Jesus” persona now. He slips it on when he is unsure or being cautious about a situation, it would seem like a tell, except that once the persona was up you had no idea who he was. You couldn't tell what he was thinking or predict what he would do. That's what gets Maggie's attention. The shift in Jesus. She glances up and gives Rick a warm smile when she recognizes him.

“This was a great meeting Rick, I think the water irrigation is gonna make a big difference in the crop yield, thankyou for sending those materials back with us.”

“What's good for the Hilltop is good for Alexandria”

Rick locks eyes with Maggie and they communicate much more than they say. She's family and with his family Rick doesn't have to say much. Rick clears his throat and shifts onto his other leg.

“I was actually hopin’ I could have a moment with Jesus if you could spare ‘im.”

Rick notices the way Jesus eyes flick between them as they talk. Jesus is observant but Rick would bet that Jesus has no idea what Rick wants to talk to him about. Jesus steps forward and places a hand lightly on Maggie's shoulder. His hair brushes the shoulders of his green sweater as he does.

“Go on to dinner I’ll catch up with you.”

Maggie gives him a closed lip smile and squeezes his shoulder in return before nodding at Rick and heading out the front door. Rick turns to Jesus and finds two large inquisitive eyes patiently trained on him. His voice is smooth and reassuring something Rick doesn't have but has made due without. Rick thinks Jesus knows he could lead if he only wanted to. Tucking his hair behind his right ear Jesus cocks his head and addresses Rick directly for the first time.

“How can I help you Rick?”

Rick hasn't exactly panned what he will say. So he just starts the same way he did with Daryl.

“So you and Daryl have been gettin’ pretty close.”

The tips of Jesus ears turn pink and in a fleeting flash he pulls his hair over them looking at the ground before his calm Jesus air resettles around him and he looks at Rick again. It was so quick it could have slipped by if he hadn't come to know Jesus better.

“We have.”

“Daryl is ma brother. When Negan took him ….”

Rick swallows a lump in his throat before continuing.

“I wasn't right then. I couldn't help ‘im. I shoulda been the one ta go get ‘im, been a better brother than his real one ever was, I didn't though. You did. Thank You for gettin’ him back. Not just from the sanctuary, but after. Bringin’ him back to himself.”

Jesus’s mouth is hanging open slightly his already large eyes wide open. He looks at Rick completely speechless a pinkness creeping across his cheeks. He maintains a casual air nonetheless.

“ I- I was just there, in the right place at the right time.“

“No, you made a choice.”

The two men stare at each other silently for a long moment before Jesus starts to shift glancing at the room around him probably mapping out his exits for the 100th time.

“Daryls a good man.”

Rick brings Jesus’s attention back to him. He continues.

“He doesn't think it but he is. One a the best men I’ve ever known. I’ve leaned on him as often as Michonne and for longer. If he were ta get hurt, If anyone at all was ta hurt him I would be very angry. I can be unreasonable when I’m angry. Rash. ”

Jesus narrows his eyes at Rick folding his arms against his chest and straightening his spine. He is a small man, at least a few inches shorter than Rick, but he knows better than to underestimate Jesus.

“Are you giving me the shovel talk Rick?”

Jesus voice is still soft but there is a steal in his eyes that suggests he isn't thrilled about being threatened, there is something else there too, something like amusement. Rick hadn't intended for the conversation to go this way. He meant to encourage Jesus. He was trying to push these two idiots together but somehow it had turned into a protective dad speech. Rick pinches the bridge of his nose reminded of his attempt at talking to Daryl. He just wants to grab them by their shoulders and shake them.

“Anyone with eyes can see there's something going on.”

Rick tries to turn it around assure Jesus he noticed the chemistry but as he watches Jesus’s eyes narrow he knows he did not succeeded.

“You have nothing to worry about Rick. Daryl is straight.”

Rick snorts.

“As a hula hoop.”

Jesus smirks a twinkle in his eyes now.

“You sound pretty sure of that.”

Rick nods his head yes looking at the ground before it dawns on him that he is feeding Jesus answers. He looks back up quickly to see the end of Jesus coat tail pass out the front door. Rick stands there staring after Jesus completely blindsided.

Sunday: Where it began.

7:00 pm

Aaron and Eric’s house

Rick had suspicions about Daryl's sexuality for a while now. It had never seemed important enough to ask about so he hadn’t. That was fine, it worked. That is until Jesus came along. Now Rick is dying to know if he's losing his mind or his brothers perfect match has just shown up. To Rick it's the most obvious thing he's ever seen and he can't understand why no one else is talking about it.  After Daryl quickly befriended Aaron, Eric, and Denise while refusing to interact with anyone else from Alexandria's original residents Rick had shrugged and said it was just a coincidence. Now, with Jesus around and Daryl actually showering regularly he finally decides to ask. Not Daryl of course. That would have never gone over well. Rick talks to Aaron, asks him if Daryl had mentioned anything about it, if all he learns is that Daryl has been confiding in Aaron it might tell him all he needs to know. If Daryl is going to get relationship advice from somebody Rick thinks it would be Aaron. Aaron of course told him that if Daryl had said anything he wouldn't be at liberty to say. Eric who is sitting on the couch reading and listening, chimes in very casually.  

“ But he sure does love making goo goo eyes at that Jesus.”

“Eric!”

Aaron tosses a sandal at Eric saying his name disapprovingly.

“It’s just an observation sweety. Not a violation of his trust. Unless you're suggesting he talks about Jesus.“

“Eric! I swear to god I’ll never rub your feet again.”

Eric rolls his eyes and turns back to his magazine mumbling under his breath as he does.

“I’m sorry I have eyes.”

Rick snorts before pushing off the wall he was leaning on and heading towards the door. So it isn't just him. Other people can see there is something there between the scout and the archer.

“Well I think I have my answer.”

Aaron looks visibly worried as Rick starts backing away.

“Don't say anything to him Rick. You know how closed off he is. If he doesn't tell you himself and you know it's gonna freak him out.”

Rick nods thoughtfully reaching the threshold of the house.

“Well like Eric said, I have eyes.”

Wednesday:

5:15 pm

Rick’s house.

Coming out of his thoughts Rick realizes he needs to talk to Aaron and Eric again. He is in over his head and has struck out talking to both Jesus and Daryl. He decides to find time before next week's meeting to talk to the men. The trouble is Rick just did exactly what Aaron told him not to do.

Wednesday: One week later.

2:00 pm

Aaron and Eric’s house

Rick doesn't find time until a few hours before Jesus, Maggie, and Daryl are expected to arrive.  He knocks on the frame of Aaron and Eric’s open door before he enters, like usual he finds Eric reading and Aaron tinkering with something mechanical on the table. They both look up as he enters.

“Rick, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

Aaron stands up going to the sink to wash his hands. Hospitality is a strength Aaron and Eric share, which is exactly what Rick kept reminding himself as he avoided this all week.

“I need yer advice.”

Rick waits one hip cocked standing between the two partners as they exchange a look. Eric looks excited Aaron looks nervous.

“About what?”

Eric asks this time. Rick takes a deep breath.

“I talked ta Jesus n’ Daryl.”

Eric drops his book and stands immediately. Aaron turns the sink off staring hard at Rick.

“You what?”

“Rick No!”

Rick scratches at his beard tossing his head to the side remembering the conversations from last week.

“Yeah, I did.”

Aaron makes a displeased groan but Eric steps around the coach too invested to stay so far away.

“Okay, well there's no going back now. So what happened?”

Erics eager eyes roam Rick's face hopefully.

“Ah, well Daryl said there ain't nothin’ goin’ on and that relaxin’ is how people die. Worst was he said Jesus could do better. Jesus… well..”

Rick trails off unsure how to describe the conversation he had with Jesus. Eric is hanging on the edge of his seat waiting for Rick to continue. Aaron is approaching slowly drying his hands on a towel with a pinched expression on his face. Rick pushes air out through his nose before the words sort of tumble free.

“First I thanked ‘im for gettin’ Daryl back... Then I threatened ta hurt him if he hurt Daryl, then he said not to worry ‘cause Daryl was straight and I kind a said he ain’t.”

“Rick!”

Aarons face is horror struck and Eric has a hand cupped over his mouth and nose the other on his hip. They both speak at the same time. Eric saying

“You threatened him?”

Was lost under Aaron saying

“You told Jesus, Daryl isn't straight? Rick why would you do that?”

“I didn't mean to, I didn't realize he didn't already know ‘till after I said it. Then he was just gone. He Ninja’d outta the room ‘fore I even figured out what was happenin’.”

Rick watches Aaron walk over to the couch rubbing his face with his hands before gingerly sitting down.

“Daryl is never going to trust me again.”

Rick feels a pang of guilt hearing that. Eric swoops in quickly standing in front of Aaron and pulling his head against his stomach.

“Oh hush, if we can get that bone head to stop ignoring his feelings he might even thank you and it's not Rick's fault, Jesus is a slippery one.”

Eric looks up and over to Rick.

“Take them on a run. Daryl gets claustrophobic behind walls. If you're gonna get through to them it's gonna be out there.”

Rick nods his head. That is a great idea if he had them both together and alone they would have no choice but to deal with each other. There would be nowhere for Daryl to run off to.  Rick did know that Daryl likes to venture outside the walls to think things over but it hadn't occurred to him to take him out there for this; it might be easier on him. It is a good observation Rick knew talking to Aaron and Eric would help. Other than Rick, Aaron and Eric saw Daryl the most they knew him almost as well as Rick did. In some ways better even.  A shout from the gates gets all of their attention.

“Rick Grimes!”

Rick darts out the door into the bright mid afternoon sun shielding his eyes when he hears Maggie call for him but as soon as he makes it into the street and sees the pregnant woman marching towards him he freezes. She looks furious. Michonne who must have opened the gate is chuckling with Rosita when Rick stops dead in his tracks. She slides the gate back into place but Rick couldn't keep watching because Maggie was right in front of him now. At least he knows this isn't a life threatening issue since Michonne is laughing.

“Maggie, it's good to see you.”

Rick tries to sound casual but Maggie still looks furious as she grabs him by the bicep and tugs him towards his home two houses down.

“We have to talk. Now!”

Once inside Maggie closes the door and turns on Rick with fire in her eyes and wild hair.

“What did you do?”

She demands without giving any context. Rick twists in his posture before stammering a response.

“What? I? I dunno Mag’s what did I do?”

“You did somethin’! You ask to talk to Jesus last week and since then I haven't been able to get him and Daryl in a room together without them fightin’ or one of them running off. It took me months of pairing them up to get them where they were and now you went n’ ruined it all. Jesus says you gave him the shovel talk? You can't be serious Rick. You gave Jesus the shovel talk.”

Rick sighs frustration mounting. Why had he gotten himself involved in this. He had just wanted to see Daryl happy and now he was buried in a mess and feeling the wrath of Aaron and Maggie. He had not been as close to Daryl as those two over the past months and he was starting to realize what a disadvantage that had become.

“I just wanted ta help! They have been pining after each other like a couple a dumbasses and I just thought if I talked to ‘em they might actually do somethin’ “bout it. I wasn't even tryin’ ta give him the shovel talk it just happened.”

Maggie scoffs and throws her hands up.

“It just happened? You didn't think about talkin’ to me before sendin’ me back with a couple of oversized children? They have been bickerin’ and avoidin’ each other ever since then. I know you didn't just talk to Jesus, what did you say to Daryl. He won't tell me and I can't fix this if I don't know.”

Rick really is desperate for some help. He hadn't meant to make such a mess of this.

“I told Daryl it was okay to relax. Told ‘im we all just want him ta be happy.”

Maggies temper seems to be fizzling out.

“Is that what you said to him? What did he say? Why is he so upset, I’ve said things like that to him before and he ain't never acted like this petulant child.”

“He said Relaxin’ gets people killed. I told him anyone with eyes can see he's got feelings for..”

Maggies screech cuts Rick off before he can continue.

“You What?! Rick! You did not tell him that. No wonder he is avoidin’ Jesus. Anyone with eyes? Are you serious, what is going to make a closet case like Daryl freak out more than thinkin’ he's that obvious?”

Rick hadn't even thought about it that way. He remembered Eric saying he had eyes to Aaron and hadn't considered what it would sound like to someone as shy as Daryl. Suddenly Aarons scolding made more sense. Eric called it like he saw it but Eric getting away with that is different. It's just him. Rick pinches the bridge of his nose.

“ Eric said it. I repeated it. I didn't think.. Shit Maggie. “

“Shit is right. Just because Eric can say it don't mean you can. You and Daryl are really close Rick but your relationship don't work like theirs. You could really hurt Daryl if yer not careful ‘bout how you say stuff like that. He gives a shit what you think of him. I’ve worked hard to get those two bone heads together and you just undid months of work. I could strangle you. Jesus was miserable all week. Daryl wouldn't even look at ‘im for the first 3 days.”

This is starting to feel like Highschool all over again. Rick has gotten himself in way over his head.

“I’ll fix it! Okay? I was gonna try and take ‘em both on a run. Get ‘em outta here and get ‘em ta talk.”

“ No way! You've done enough damage Rick.”

“Look I won't say nothin’ ‘bout them being obvious. I’ll just get ‘em somewhere so that they’ll be stuck talkin’ to each other. They will have ta sort it out. “

Maggie chews on her lip still glaring at Rick with her arms crossed resting on her baby bump.

“And what about you, what will you do?”

“I don't know. I’ll figure it out. “

Maggie studies Rick hard for a long moment and Rick holds his breath.

“Fine but if they come back and you ain't got them on good terms I'm gettin’ Michonne to kick your ass for me. I'd do it myself if I wasn't pregnant.”

Later that evening after the meeting wraps up and people are beginning to stand once again Rick locks eyes with Maggie. Operation:Leather boyfriends is set to go. That was a name Maggie had already come up with for her plan before Rick stumbled right into the middle of it and he thought it was fitting, if not a bit on the nose. Maggie nods to Rick once before quickly grabbing Jesus’s attention and stopping him from following Sasha out. Rick quickly scans the room finding Daryl already nearing the door on his way out. His heart jumps knowing he needs to keep his part of the plan running smoothly and prevent Daryl from running off.

“Wait up! Daryl.”

Rick calls out taking a few light jogging steps towards the fleeing figure ahead of him. Daryl pauses scuffing a shoe before turning to face Rick. He nods his head towards Rick in acknowledgment his eyes darting to where Jesus is further in the room over Rick’s shoulder. Rick almost smirks but catches himself.

“I'm going on a run tomorrow morning. Gonna be a day's travel there and a day back, camping out for a night. Thought you might like to get out for a bit.”

Daryls shoulders relax while he thinks on it chewing on his lip for a long contemplative moment before he nods at Rick again.

“Yeah sounds good. You talk to Maggie?”

This was going exactly how Rick hoped it would. He is having trouble keeping from acting over excited. This needs to be discussed as a run like any other or else Daryl will run for the hills.

“Yeah I talked to her first. She's headin’ back in the morning, we need ta go that way so we will stop off at Hilltop n’ head out from there.”

Daryl nods again fidgeting with his bandana and stepping to leave.

“A’ight.”

Daryl slinks off towards dinner and Rick finally lets his smile break through. Maggie is a devious woman and her plan to get them on this trip is going to work. Rick is filled with nervous excitement. He has no way of knowing how exactly this will play out but he has a good feeling about this plan. Rick looks back and sees Maggie is glancing his way every few moments. He quickly makes his way over to them giving them a closed lip smile and starting phase two.

“Jesus good ta see ya, Mags”

Rick nods at both of them. Jesus has a suspicious squint to his eye as he looks at Rick.

“Rick”

A name is all he offers as a greeting. Maggie smiles big and warm grabbing them both by the shoulder.

“Well boys, the baby is gonna crack my ribs if I don't get ‘im fed soon. He's kickin’ up a bigger fuss than a cornered pig.”

Jesus lets out a breathy chuckle at Maggie's words and looks fondly after her as she exits. His eyes lazily flick over to Rick, his face expectant. His hair is tied up at the crown of his head a few pieces having fallen loose at some point. Rick tries for a moment to see Jesus through Daryl's eyes. He is a very pretty guy with sharp features and bright eyes, Rick thinks, as far as men go, Jesus is good looking. He takes a deep breath. This is going to be harder than talking to Daryl. Rick just didn't mention Jesus would be coming along knowing that Daryl wouldn't ask questions but that would never work on Jesus. Rick has no choice but to shoot from the hip just invite Jesus and see where it goes.

“Jesus,  I'm goin’ on a run. Days trip out, camp for the night then head back. I could use ya on it. Yer quick, quiet, plus more eyes is always better.”

Rick watches Jesus digest his offer. He hums softly looking up at Rick through his eyelashes.

“and who else is going on this run Rick?”

There it is. The question. Rick itches at the back of his neck.

“Just me ...n’ Daryl.”

Rick smiles sheepishly at Jesus whose eyes watch him knowingly.

“and did you already talk to Daryl about it?”

Jesus makes Rick feel like a child who's missbehaved. He sighs heavily tapping the heel of his boot against the ground as he shifts his stance.

“Sort of. He's goin’.”

Jesus lets out a big breath there is a noticeable shift in his attitude, the playfulness melting away as seriousness sets in.

“Look Rick. I don't know what you're angle is but Daryl doesn't want to go on a run with me. Especially not a two day run. He hasn't talked to me in a week. “

Rick can tell Jesus knows he had been involved in why Daryl was avoiding him. Rick gives up trying to navigate this conversation. There was no use pretending he could hold his own in a game of words with Jesus, he has a way of seeing right through you while keeping his own cards close to his chest,  if Rick tries to prevent that it would just drain all his energy. He knows when he is beat. So Rick just decides to lay it all out. Fold his cards.

“I'm sorry ‘bout that. Was my fault. I'm trying ta fix it. You gotta go on this run with us. The whole point a this is ta get him to deal with his feelings. I know I probably sounded like a real ass last week but I was tryin’ ta tell ya ta go for it.”

Jesus’s eye brows are pinched as he keeps his hands unnaturally still, folded palms up in front of his stomach. Rick thinks he may never have had a more personal conversation with Jesus. Most of their interactions had been preparing for the war against Negan and the Saviors.

“With all due respect Rick, you can't make Daryl want to date me. As flattered as I am that you think I would be good for him, knowing how important Daryl is to you, it won’t change how he feels. You can't fix that.”

Jesus has his arms crossed and his eyes look vulnerable. He is obviously feeling exposed by this conversation but he isn't telling Rick to leave and so Rick takes that as permission to continue. Rick takes a step closer feeling like this was to private to be said at full volume.

“ Paul, Daryl cares about ya. I know it. Because I know him. He's just scared of bein’ happy he has more reason than most a us for that. The other day I talked to him ‘fore I talked to you, he said you could do better. He's got it in his head that yer too good for ‘im.”

Jesus’s arms fall loosely for a moment before he pulls his hair out of its bun shaking it loose and running a hand through it. He rubs at his face making a few attempts at speaking before finding the words.

“That's a lot to take in. Rick. I don't know what you think is going to happen. Even if you're right and he thinks of me that way if he doesn't want to let me in it doesn't matter. I won't make him talk to me.”

Rick nods his head thinking it out.

“Sometimes, Daryl needs a little push. I know you ain't known him that long yet but he would still be sleepin’ in a tent a football field away from the rest of us if it weren't for Carol goin’ out n’ pushing him to open up. Hes stubborn as all hell and He dont make the first move in anythin’ but a fight. This will work. If we go out in the woods we start a fire and I wander off. Maybe I go ta sleep or go get firewood but I'll make sure you get a chance to just try and talk to ‘im. Out there where he's more comfortable and got nowhere to hide. All the time I’ve known him there ain't been no one I could see him happy with ‘cept you. ”

Rick watches Jesus hopefully. He looks reluctant to accept but as time stretches Rick starts thinking more certainly that the answer will be yes. Jesus eyes him again hesitantly this time from behind his hair with that same pull between his eyebrows.

“Rick you've never even asked how I feel about him.”

Jesus points out, his voice soft . It's obviously a weak attempt at avoiding this impending confrontation on their run tomorrow. Rick chuckles. He remembers telling Maggie he wouldn't talk about how obvious these two are and stops himself before it slips out again. Instead he says.

“Well Jesus, how do you feel about ‘im?”

Jesus’s face twists and a pained sound passes his lips. He pulls his arms back across his chest shaking his head back and forth and giving a barely audible answer.

“I don't know.”

Jesus has his eyes trained on the floor so Rick steps forward gripping his shoulder and peering down into his line of sight.

“Hey. The two a ya were on Negan's personal hit list. Doesn't the fact that ya both made it through the war say something? You aren't done yet. Neither of you. You still get time.”

Jesus smirks now following that with a wispy half hearted chuckle, he looks up at Rick with a slight wetness to his eyes. Rick isn't sure so he asks.

“What's funny?”

“Something I said to Sasha, it's a long life; and then it isn't.”

“Exactly!”

Rick feels that hope from before returning and then Jesus and him are both smiling and Jesus shoves Rick's hand off his shoulder.

“Alright alright. I'll go but I want it on record that I thought tricking Daryl was a bad idea.”

“We're not trickin’ him we are just ignorin’ his wishes.”

“You’re right that’s so much better.”

Rick chuckles before leading Jesus out towards dinner.

“Well it's for his own good.”

Thursday: Show time.

5:00 Am.

The gates of Alexandria.

Jesus sits in the back seat of the car that Rick has pulled around for their run. The car is sitting behind the gate turned off to conserve gas while last minute preparations are seen to. Maggie is talking to Daryl in hushed voices by the trunk as Rick approaches to head out.

“All set?”

Rick asks making to take the driver's seat. Daryl eyes the cars lone occupant through the back window.

“Yeah.”

Daryl seems put off and Rick isn't sure if this is just what Maggie was talking about before, Daryl being crabby all week, or if it is something else.

“Everythin’ alright?”

Maggie smiles at Rick rubbing her hands across her belly absentmindedly. The fabric of her floral blouse hangs loosely where it can't be buttoned any further over her baby bump, instead there was the stretched fabric of her tank top to cover her.

“Yeah we are just fine. I was just tellin’ Daryl here that I checked your supplies for ya and that we can head out as soon as you're ready”

Rick locks eyes with Maggie. She must have stopped Daryl from going through the trunk and noticing the extra supplies for Jesus. Rick feels a nervous twitch start in the pit off his stomach.

“Great. Let's head out.”

Rick quickly ducks into the car ready to just go and get this over with. When they arrive at Hilltop Maggie is going to hop out quickly and Rick is going to pull away before Daryl has a chance to react to Jesus’s continued presence. It wasn't guaranteed to go smoothly but Rick is hoping Daryl will take the silently brooding path rather than say anything. Daryl hesitates outside the car as he sees Maggie move to the passenger seat. When he climbs into the faded gray interior he aims to sit as close to the door as possible leaning his head into his arm against the window. Rick looks at Jesus in the rear view mirror and catches him glancing at Daryl shoving his hair behind his ears and adjusting his scouting gloves. Rick really hopes he isn't being overly optimistic about how this trip will go.

After two hours of completely silent driving Rick pull’s the Sedan up to the gates of Hilltop. It is still early in the morning since they had left just as the sun was rising. Rick squeezes Maggie's hand over the center console and she squeezes back just as Rick brings the car to a stop.

“Have a good trip boys!”

Maggie turns around and smiles big and bright at Daryl who looks startled for a moment before he gives her a nod and leans forward to bump his hand into her shoulder briefly. Maggie looks mischievously at Jesus before jumping out of the car much faster than any pregnant woman Ricks ever seen before. As soon as the car door latches closed she's pounding on the roof laughing and chanting

“Go Rick go!”

So Rick floors it into the turn heading back down the road a bit before he can turn off and start on his way for the run. He realizes as his adrenaline pumps that he is still going to be in the car with these two for a while and driving away fast isn't going to keep him from that. Rick looks up to his mirror to see Jesus has pulled his beanie down over his eyes and is leaning his head back as if he is sleeping, Daryl is glaring daggers into the back of Rick's head. Rick can feel the waves of agitation rolling off Daryl and he is sure that Jesus feigning sleep is more of a response to that than any actual fatigue. Daryl knows now that he has been set up and that Maggie was in on it. Rick takes comfort in being able to drag her down with him if Daryl gets really upset. With Daryl's angry glare still on him Rick reaches into the glove box and pulls out a CD. He figures there's no way he can make Daryl’s mood any worse and he knows that Daryl secretly likes when Rick singings along even if he says he has shit taste in music.

“No, Rick!”

“Hmm?”

Rick pretends not to hear Daryl as he slides the disc in. A country western song starts blaring through the speakers and Rick hits the steering wheel in time with the boot stomps as the twangy whisky voice comes in. Rick knows every word to this song because it's the only CD he has in this car he looks at Daryl again and starts singing along. Rick notices that Jesus’s head is turned towards the window so that his huge grin is hidden from Daryl. Rick smiles as he sings thinking he will get these two to cheer up and chill out by the end of the trip.

Rick tries a few times to start up conversation but Daryl refuses to acknowledge him at all and Jesus offers short responses that make it obvious he is only responding because he feels he has to. Rick doesn't let himself get discouraged he doesn't need anyone else to talk he can just talk to them anyway.  As they were nearing the area they will be camping out in Rick decides to talk about the real reason they are on this trip instead of the random chatter he has been maintaining for a while now.

“Daryl.”

Daryl doesn't respond staring out the window like Rick isn't there. Rick cleares his throat and uses his business voice this time.

“Daryl look at me or I’ll pull this car over.”

Daryls eyes flick to Rick and back to the window before finally settling on a place just past Rick but in his general direction. Rick holds in his sigh.

“I’m sorry if I upset ya the other day.”

Daryls eyes make a panicked flick to Jesus who is sitting up and watching the both of them now much to Daryl's dismay.

“Can ya not.”

Daryls deep voice is a relief after hours of listening to his own voice.

“No we’re gonna sort this out. All of us.”

Rick locks eyes with Jesus and can't help noticing that the man looks a little pale. Rick continues speaking to both of them now.

“The two of you can't be avoiding each other. Yer our best scoutin’ team, two a our strongest fighters. You work well together.”

Rick refrains from saying what he thinks they work well as. Jesus leans his head back and for a moment Rick thinks he is going to go back to faking sleep but he leans forward again quickly folding his hands and resting his elbows on his knees. Daryl watches him from the sides of his eyes.

“Rick, you're right but I still don't know that the best way to get that is to treat us like children in time out.”

Ricks feathers are ruffled by that but he bites his tongue because Daryl snorts something like a laugh. Rick thinks if they can unite against him then at least they will be United in something. He turns down a dirt road nearly hidden by overgrowth so long after the turn. He slows the car down as it jostles on the uneven ground. The sun is beginning to set so Rick turns on the headlights to see more clearly in the dark of the wooded road.

“Well I'm sorry for that too then.”

Rick comes to a stop in a clearing. He pulls the car to the side and turns it off.

“Tomorrow morning we walk about 2 miles to a small town ta check out their clinic. It was about to open when everythin’ went ta shit. It might still be well stocked on medicines. Some that we sorely need.”

The men in the back seat just nod. There is a heaviness in the air. Anticipation not for the run but for what comes first.

“The two a you set up camp, I'll be right back.”

With that Rick gets out of the car and walks directly into the woods leaving the scout and the archer sitting in the back seat. Daryl and Jesus look to each other Daryl wearing a confused look on his face while Jesus just looks tired.

Rick circles around the clearing going through the brush until he finds what he's looking for. On the top of the hill that sits to one side of the clearing, hidden within the foliage, is Maggie with a pair of binoculars. She has two folding chairs, blankets, a basket full of snacks, and a rifle propped against her knee.

When they had made this plan Rick had chosen a long path to get here so that Maggie would have time to beat him here and set this up. When Maggie hears Rick approach she stand pulling her knife from her belt. When she sees it's Rick she puts her knife back and pats the chair next to her as she sits again. She has to lower herself slowly, the size of her belly getting in the way of her usual grace. Not nearly matching her quick escape from the car earlier today. Rick hurries over reaching to help her settle and taking the binoculars that Maggie has outstretched towards him.

“ What are they doin’?”

Rick is already trying to find them in his sights. He finds Jesus sitting on the hood of the car his Beanie having been removed at some point. He is watching Daryl fuss with a tent. Maggies voice filters in like narration while he spies on the two men in the clearing.

“Well Daryl is tryin’ to set up that tent and failin’.”

“But Daryl can set up a tent with his hands tied behind his back.”

Rick doesn't understand what could be the problem. Maggie is laughing and when Rick looks over he sees she has pulled out another pair of binoculars for herself.

“Jesus hid a few pieces of it and I think he is waitin’ for Daryl to ask for help.”

Rick is grinning, This is already turning out to be very interesting. He just wishes they could hear what they were saying so he says as much.

“ I dunno, I think watchin’ them is a bit of an invasion of privacy already.”

Rick nods. Maggie is right. He leans back into watch them.

The Campsite: Jesus and Daryl

Sundown.

Daryl growls kicking the side of the dingy, faded, red tent as it tips over again. It stirs up some dirt and dry leaves when it lands.

“Maggie said we was all set to leave, didn't mention the tent is missing pieces. Shoulda checked it myself.”

“It was all there when we left, I packed the trunk. I’m sure it's all here somewhere.”

Jesus leans back so his shoulders are resting on the car's windshield, lazily tucking his hands behind his head and gazing up at the canopy of trees. He is completely unbothered by Daryls very apparent frustration.

“It ain't hear I’m tellin’ ya.”

“Would you like some help?”

Daryl stops what he is doing and looks at Jesus the cocky grin on his face cluing Daryl in suddenly.

“You little shit. Where is it? “

Jesus laughs tossing Daryl the two pieces of the tent he had tucked in his pocket and motioning under the car where the missing pole was stashed. Daryl crouches down getting on his hands and knees to reach the pole groaning as he stands back up when his knee screams for him to take it slower. He ignores it and gets the tent constructed in less than 2 minute after.

“I dunno why you always gotta fuck wit me”

Daryl says while standing back and admiring his work. He could have done this on the first try if Jesus hadn't gone and hid shit. Jesus leans forward again more serious than before.

“I just wanted you to talk to me again. You’ve been ignoring me all week. The car ride too.”

“I aint ignoring ya.”

“Daryl.”

Jesus voice sounds unamused. Daryl shuffles before turning to the center of the camp site to build a firepit. He needs to start working on getting some light in the camp site before the sun is completely gone. He doesn't answer Jesus for a long moment so the scout hops down from the car and approaches him. As he nears, Daryl nervously spits out a change of topic.

“Where is Rick anyway, said he would be right back.”

He can feel Jesus still where he stands behind him.

“He isn't coming back. At least not for a while.”

Daryl stops what he is doing straightening his back and looking at Jesus who has his hands on his hips and a patient look on his face. He pushes the panic down.  

“The fuck ya mean?”

Jesus looks a little guilty and crosses his arms over his chest a gesture that Daryl recognizes as one of Jesus nervous habits.

“I mean Rick is intentionally not here right now. He wants us to talk.”

Daryl paces around the fire pit he started constructing waving his arm roughly at Jesus when he speaks.  

“You in on this? Everyone trying to trick the dumb Redneck now?”

Jesus face softens.

“No Daryl. That's not..”

“What? you expect me to believe you ain't in on this, how'd ya know Rick wasn't gonna come back? that he wants us to talk? Yall planning this shit.”

Jesus steps towards Daryl his hands up palms out. His eyes imploring Daryl to trust him. Daryl takes a couple deep breaths trying to keep his head clear. Something Jesus had been helping him do at night when he woke from his nightmares hyperventilating and sweating. Jesus watches Daryl carefully he thinks he has gotten better at calming him he thinks he has learned how to get passed Daryl's feral self defense but whenever it's put to the test he starts to doubt it.

“Daryl, I knew about the point of this trip but it wasn't my idea. I still don't even know why you’ve been avoiding me. Rick just asked me to come on this trip and he can be pretty convincing when he wants to be.”

Daryl still looks upset but he nods at the comment about Rick. He knows first hand how convincing Rick is when he wants something.

“You still went along with it.”

Daryls voice has less venom in it now. He isn't mad at Jesus. He isn't even mad at Rick though he is going to have words with him about this whole trip.

“He didn't even ask me untill after you had agreed to go. He sort of cornered me into it. I wanted to say no but...I also missed you.“

Daryl feels his face heat at Jesus words so he turns back to the fire and starts standing sticks against each other pilling dry leaves in the center between them. Jesus takes his gloves off and places them in his trench coat pocket before kneeling down and stacking loose rocks around the edges of the firewood Daryl is stacking. Jesus peeks at Daryl through the sheet of hair that's hanging over his shoulder.

“I went along with it, you're right. Do you think I shouldn't have?”

Daryls hands still before he stands up hitting his hands against his pants. He chews on his lip then squats back down and joins Jesus in stacking the Rocks around the edges. His nervous movements don't bother Jesus. He’s used to the restless ways Daryl deals with things. It's been a long silent moment and Jesus is concentrating diligently on stacking rocks. Giving it much more attention that it really requires trying to be patient while Daryl decides how to say whatever it is he wants to say. Jesus knows if he waits he will get an answer but the anticipation builds anyway the more time pases.

“I think Rick woulda got cha here anyway. Maybe knocked you out and stuffed ya in the trunk.”

Jesus laughs now nodding his head. He is relieved by the way Daryl seems to be taking this odd situation in stride.

“You're right. That man finds a way.”

It's quiet again but not awkwardly so. Daryl manages to get the fire lit so Jesus turns back to the car's trunk to pull out the camping chairs. He takes a moment just moving things around in the back of the car steeling himself for what he is about to say.

“Daryl?”

“Mm?”

“Can we talk? About whatever's got you upset with me? “

“Ain't nothin goin on.”

“So you were avoided me all week for no reason?”

“I said I wasn't avoiding ya”

“And I’m not stupid.”

When Jesus says that Daryl takes a deep breath. This was going to suck. He was not good at talking things out.

“I didn't say you was stupid.”

“I’d have to be to believe that nothing has changed and that you weren't avoiding me.”

Daryl sits in his chair pushing his forehead into his palms with his elbows on his knees. He feels something nudge his arm and when he looks Jesus is handing him a flask. They sit side by side in their folding camping chairs. Daryl’s the same ugly shade of red as the tent Jesus in a army green version with cup holders. The fire a few feet infront of them is doing a good job of keeping the chilly bite of night air tolerable. The sun has finally fallen completely and the buzzing sounds of the woods at night fills the air.

“This part a Rick’s plan too?”

He asks as he takes the Flask from Jesus and tosses back a big swig.

“Nope, this was my genius idea. Rick told me I was going to be coming on this trip and I figured I could use a little liquid courage.”

“What you need courage for, s’just us.”

Jesus ducks his head when he hears “us” he can't help how much he likes the way that sounds coming out of Daryl’s mouth.

“You always tell me you aren't good at talking about stuff. Well I’m not either. Not personal stuff at least.”

“Whats personal about this?”

Jesus sighs leaning back and taking another sip. Daryl fascinates him. His direct approach to things and his refusal to make assumptions.

“You are really gonna make me work for this aren't you?”

“I don't know what yer talking about.”

Daryl wants to keep his hands busy but he has nothing to do, no arrows to clean, no animals to skin so he just wraps and unwraps a loose thread from his jeans around his finger.

“Does that usually work? Pretending you have no idea what's going on until people give up trying to talk to you?”

Jesus doesn't mean that as a jab he is genuinely curious wanting to understand why Dary, someone who can clearly read between the lines, refuses to accept certain things no matter how many times he is told or how clear Jesus makes it. Daryl just grunts. He didn't intend to do it, turn away from things he didn't want to accept. For a long time he refused to accept that he could be Rick's right hand man. He shied away from the way people looked to him in the group as Rick's second in command he didn't mean to run from it then, it just happened but just like Carol did then Jesus picked up on it right away. He shared that quality with Carol, his ability to read people and an adaptable personality. Daryl starts to realize that he can't get out of this. Just like he never could with her. He feels a bit of sweat starting to prickle his neck. Jesus rolls his eyes handing Daryl the flask again and bringing an entire bottle of Jack Daniels out of his trench coat. Daryls eyebrows shoot up.

“Flask wasn't doin’ it for ya?”

“No, clearly it wasn't.”

Jesus temper sounds a little short but his gaze is on the flames in front of them and the only sign that he is upset is the tight way his hand grips the bottles neck.

The Lookout : Rick and Maggie

Rick and Maggie share a bowl of stale cheese popcorn as they watch the two men in the clearing set up camp together. Rick lowers his binoculars looking over at Maggie.

“The alcohol was a great idea. I didn't even think about givin’ ‘em somethin’ like that.”

Maggie scrunches up her eyebrows and shakes her head.

“That wasn't me, I thought you gave that to Jesus.”

Rick grins and laughs picking his binoculars backup and leaning forward but doesn't take his eyes off Maggie.

“That sneaky little devil calls himself Jesus but he swiped that from the pantry.”

“ I don't blame him, we basically locked him in the closet with his crush and told em they weren't comin’ out till they kissed.”

Rick has to hold his sides as he laughs. He looks fondly at Maggie who looks so much younger when she smiles. Rick thinks back to where they met on the farm it seems so long ago but it was really only a year ago or two maybe. So much can happen in that amount of time in today's world. Rick looks back to the men in the camp, he hopes that they realize that and can stop fighting a good thing.  

The Campsite: Jesus and Daryl

“What did Rick say to ya, ‘bout why we was going on this trip?”

Jesus looks over at Daryl but he doesn't answer. He just sips directly from the bottle in his hand and stares.

“What?”

Dary asks his heart rate is spiking. He knows what he talked about with Rick and he was damn near crawling out of his skin then. He doesn't know how he will handle it if that's what Rick talked to Jesus about. He doesn't understand why his brother is meddling. Why he can't just let Daryl be. He wanted to explain to Rick why he isnt any good for Jesus but he wouldn't listen even if Daryl had the words and if Rick went to Jesus for the same reason Daryl is gonna strangle him.

“I don't know if I should tell you.”

Daryl stares at Jesus, blue eyes locked in a tense challenge.

“What ya mean?”

“Well I’ve asked you twice now why you have been avoiding me. You refused to answer. I don't know if I should tell you what Rick said to me. It might be the perfect bargaining chip.”

“Always gotta have an angle”

Jesus pulls his feet into his seat and tucks the bottle between his crossed legs as he turns his body to look directly at Daryl.

“If you want I’ll just go sit in the car. I’m not going to make you talk to me. I told Rick as much.”

Daryl hesitates a moment. He doesn't want Jesus to go. He had missed him too in all honesty but he also was terrified of this. He had been fine when he was just hanging out with Jesus in their trailer over the last few months telling himself he could just ignore his feelings. Shove them down so deep that they could never surface. After talking to Rick last week he couldn't get it out of his head. Rick had said anyone with eyes could see he had feelings for Jesus and suddenly he was hyper aware of everything. He could feel how often he looked at Jesus .It was like he was magnetically pulled to his side. Always wandering to stand next to him or sit beside him, like his feet were moving before the thought even registered in his mind. He could see everyone else noticing it and he felt like he had a neon sign over his head that read Gay. He had never talked about his sexuality with anyone in his family. Never needed to. Suddenly it seemed like everyone knew already and Daryl didn't know how to deal with it. Jesus is still watching him and he looks as though he is about to get up and go do exactly what he said. His nerves had been on edge as soon as he offered to go off and leave Daryl because as honest as he had been when he said it he really didn't want to do it. He moves to stand up when Daryl finally speaks

“ Dont. you can stay it's just…”

Daryl hangs his head. He is going to have to tell Jesus whats going on to find out what Rick told him. His mouth feels dry and the burn of whisky doesn't help that but it does make him feel a little more bold. This is his third shot and Daryl thinks he may have become a light weight since the days of Dixon trailer parties. Jesus waits patiently for Daryl to continue.

“Rick talked to me last week. When I stayed at Alexandria. Said I’s obvious, hanging round ya all the time. Said he thought there was something going on. I just didn't want noone getting the wrong idea.”

Jesus nods weighing his words before he says them.

“You didn't want them getting the wrong idea about what? Us? Or you?”

Jesus expression is guarded when Daryl peeks at it. Now was his chance to find out if what Rick said was really true. He had tried not to hope much and that wasn't hard considering the way Daryl had been turning tale whenever they saw each other. For Jesus the way Daryl had started leaning on him, needing his presence, was a victory. Everytime Daryl passed up a run so he could be there when Jesus returned from his, everytime Daryl found a reason to sit beside Jesus felt like an honor. Daryls heart is pounding. He can do this. He can tell Jesus , he knows Jesus won't judge him. He remembers when Aaron had figured it out, it was so much easier with Aaron Daryl isn't sure if that's because Aaron hadn’t made him say it or if it was just because he hadn't looked as pretty and vulnerable as Jesus does.

“It ain't the wrong idea bout me, just bout us.”

Daryl can't look at Jesus now. He stares at the orange and yellow flickers in front of him and picks up a stick to poke the fire just to have something to do.

“What idea do you think they were getting?”

Daryl is frustrated now. He doesn't want to come right out and say it but Jesus is trying to prod him to. He is using the same, refuse to read between the lines, tactic Daryl does but against him and Daryl really doesn't want to admit how annoying it is. Jesus already knows and Daryl thinks his amused twinkling eyes say he loves having the shoe on the other foot.

“Come on, you know. That we…. Cuz we's always together and living together… Shit I didn't want noone thinking...”

Daryl gives up, he can't find the words. He doesn't know how to say that he didn't want anyone thinking Jesus would be dumb enough to love a guy like him without insulting Jesus.  Jesus sighs and sips his whisky. The light of the fire is flickering across his face making his hair glow a golden shade of brown and his eyes look as bright as they do in the sunshine. He decides to have mercy on Daryl. He does know what Daryl is hinting at, that people might think they were a couple. Something Jesus himself had considered on a few late sleep deprived nights out on runs when he missed Daryl and knew he would be waiting for him at the gate when he got back.

“Would it be the wrong idea?”

Jesus voice is small and hesitant as he looks at Daryl. Neither of them say anything. Daryl was afraid of this. He knows Jesus was giving him the same looks he gave Jesus . He wasn't dumb but he knows this would be. He knows that if Jesus just knew him better, saw who he really was he wouldn't want anything to do with him.

“You don't know me. Wouldn't be askin that if ya did.”

Jesus scoffs and grabs Daryl's flask refilling it and handing it back while he thinks.

“Daryl. I’m just going to be direct. I like you. I do. It sucked this week when you were running away from me and ignoring me. I thought I’d done something and I couldn't figure out what it was. I thought maybe I’d scared you off because I was being too obvious but then Rick talked to me after the meeting. He told me He noticed we had been getting close. He thanked me for bringing you home and then he threatened me”

Daryls head shoots up.

“He did what?”

Daryls fists ball around the arms of his chair. Jesus smirks at Daryl's protective reaction a small thrill shooting up his spine despite the logical part of his brain shouting that he really doesn't need anyone to protect him. Normally he finds that sort of thing insulting but coming from Daryl it feels much more endearing. Daryl doesn't defend people because he thinks they can't handle themselves he does it because he cares and Jesus loves being on the list of people Daryl cares about.

“It was kind of funny actually. He was just warning me not to hurt you or else I’d have to deal with him. I didn't point out that I could knock him on his ass faster than he could blink. I just let him do the big brother thing. It was cute really, he cares about you. He wants what's best for you. I do to so I get it I guess. I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing if some guy was cozying up to you. I’d want to make sure they knew not to fuck it up.”

Daryl is staring at Jesus hearing him swear wasn't necessarily uncommon but It might be a result of the alcohol because Jesus eyes do look a little glassy. Daryl hears Jesus say “Some guy” in his head again and he swallows a nervous laugh. It felt right to hear it but he hadn't ever heard it from anyone out loud before. There has never been a time in his life that another person casually accepted his sexuallity like that. It feels so strange and so good to Daryl and he takes a big gulp from the flask. Rick had talked to Jesus about the same thing he had talked to Daryl about but he finds it a little harder to hold the grudge he was harboring before. He shakes his head following the burn of the alcohol.

“Ricks gotta mind his own business.”

“Well if he did that we would be less drunk and ignoring each other so I don't really have it in me to be mad at him.”

Daryls body feels relaxes and when he looks over at Jesus he sees the man has kicked his feet out and has slouched low down into his seat looking contentedly at the flames. His whole body feels warm. Jesus decides not to mention what else Rick had told him when he sees the relaxed way Daryl is sipping his flask.

“I’m sorry.”

Daryl hears himself say the words before he decides to say anything at all. Jesus looks at him with a small smile.

“For ignoring me? Or for telling me I don't know you?”

Daryl had forgotten he had said that.

“Ignoring you, I’s right about you not known’ me. There’s a whole lot I aint never told ya.”

“Well not everything I know about you is things you’ve told me. Besides you don't know about me either. That doesn't mean you don't know me.”

Daryl swallows a lump. He feels like there is no going back.

“I wanna know ‘bout ya.”

He almost looks away but he pushes the urge away, he likes the fuzzy way Jesus smiles at him when he says it.

“How about we trade information then? Something about you for something about me.”

Daryl chews on his thumbnail. He wants to say yes but he doesn't know where to start.

“A’ight, You first.”

Jesus isnt surprised by that condition he leans forward and clears his throat.

“Alright, well I grew up in a group home. Kids came and went but I was there for about 9 years until I turned 18 and left with nothing but a backpack and 200 dollars.”

Daryl takes a moment to absorb that. He had pictured Jesus growing up in a nice suburban home with loving parents and good grades. He seems so well adjusted and tidy. Daryl decides he will just meet Jesus secrets with the same version of his.

“I grew up in backwoods Georgia. Lived in a trailer most a my life after my ma burned the house down smokin’ in bed. Lost her and everythin’ else when that happened. Cept Pa’s bike and the clothes I’s wearin’.”

Jesus scoots his chair closer to both Daryl and the fire leaning his head sideways and curling his knees up in front of him. He looks so invested and Daryl feels like he could run right out of this camp if he could just make his legs move.

“I learned martial arts after I got jumped on the street for being gay. I got the shit beat out of me so bad I had to miss school for 2 weeks. After that I didn't want to ever feel that helpless again.“

Daryl looks at the cracked leather of his boots stretched out in front of him he answers quickly before he has time to back out.

“Ma Pa used to beat the shit outta me. All the time, didn't need no reason most a the time. Merle used ta try and keep me from it till he was gone in Juvie or out the house. Then it was just me and Pa.”

“Merle?”

Jesus asks for clarification.

“He was my brother. Not like Rick, he was blood, just about all he was too. He was a nasty son of a bitch. Racist, sexist, Homophobic, Fucked with my head as much as pa.”

Jesus looks solemn for a moment. He has to remind himself that neither of those men are around for him to beat up but the desire is intense.

“Rick said something about him. Said he should have gotten you from the sanctuary so he could be a better brother to you than Merle ever was.”

Daryls heart feels heavy. Rick is already a better brother to him than Merle. He hoped Rick knew that.

“I’m glad it was you though.”

Jesus looks surprised.

“Why?”

Daryl ducks his head.

“I dunno.”

Jesus giggles, honest to god giggles and Daryl's ears turn red.

“What’s funny?”

His voice is gravely from the whisky. He's starting to feel sloppy and happy. He missed whisky by the fire. It had been a long time.

“You're just cute.”

Daryls squirms in his seat.

“Knock that off.”

Jesus smiles fondly.

The Lookout: Rick and Maggie

Rick sighs leaning back and turning towards Maggie who is looking tired. Watching the two men talk without being able to hear what's being said can get a little tedious and Maggie has driven for hours and set up a camp site all on her own while pregnant. She must be beat.

“I remember back when I was workin’ in the force I used to have ta stake out a place with Shane and he would always fall asleep ‘fore anythin’ happened.”

Maggie looks towards Rick groggily. She hadn't known that Shane, Rick's best friend. She had only met him after. She had known the Shane that was consumed with guilt and jealousy the man who turned on his partner. She smiles softly and grabs another handful of their dwindling popcorn.

“Well I can't say I ever wanted ta be like Shane before but if napping comes with the package I might change my mind.”

Rick chuckles leaning to bump his shoulder into Maggies.

“I think you’d a been a good police officer. Women sometimes had trouble workin’ the job. People didn't take em serious or somethin’, it got under more than a few people's skin they ended up doin’ somethin’ stupid tryin’ to prove they could...but it wouldn't a got to you. Same way you ended up leadin’ Hilltop I think you’d a been a sheriff in no time.”

Maggie leans towards Rick resting her head on his shoulder while she chews.

“Thankyou Rick. I forget sometimes that you used to be an officer but it's just ‘casue that's who you are. You look out for people.”

“That's who you are too.”

They smile at each other again before turning back to the less than eventful happenings in the camp.

The Campsite: Jesus and Daryl

Jesus is still looking at Daryl with a goofy grin when he starts talking.

“I think it's my turn to share something . Hmm. Um my first boyfriend was a really jerky closeted guy. The whole thing had to be kept secret and he told everyone I had raped him when they found out we were dating. I had to change schools.”

Daryl can't hide his shock.

“Seriously? “

“Honest. I haven't had a serious relationship since. I just couldn't.”

“What a coward. Throwing ya under the bus jus’ cuz he was scared a lookin’ in the mirror. Hope he didn't make it.”

Jesus bust out laughing. The way Daryl unquestioningly takes Jesus side, not even batting an eye, it sends tingles over Jesus’s skin and he finds he might be a little more drunk than he realized. He looks at Daryl for a moment seeing the way the dirt on his arms makes the curve of his muscles stand out. The frayed edges of his shirts arm hole sticking out under his leather vest. Jesus takes a big breath realizing he forgot to breath that entire time. He turns his gaze to the fire so he can gather himself.

“There's no way he made it he had a maid and a driver. He probably didn't even tie his own shoes.”

Daryl laughs now too.

“What a winner, why ya even bother with em?”

Jesus sombers up a bit.

“Well I sort of figured it was be with him or be alone forever. Didn't really turn out like I was wrong.”

Daryl doesn't know what to say. He wants to tell Jesus that isnt true but he can't make the words form it's like his tongue is too heavy. Jesus sees the gears turning in Daryl's head and they share a meaningful glance.

“Ya had it rougher than I thought. “

Jesus smirks spinning his half full bottle between his fingers. That isn't the first time he has heard that from someone. He never quite figured out why people always assumed he has it all together. To him it's obvious how much of a mess he is.

“You had it just about as rough as I’d figured. Which was much more rough than you deserved.”

The way Daryls chest expanded when Jesus spoke made him feel like he was going to burst. He felt for a brief moment like he might cry but he pushes it down. There is something so warm and comfortable about talking to Jesus that makes Daryl just wanted to curl up in it and never leave.

“I ain't nothin’.”

Daryl says it like he has said it to himself 100 times today already. He remembers hearing it everyday from his Pa, from Merle, from the cops always taling him looking for a reason to lock him up. Jesus’s voice is a welcome distraction from those thoughts.

“Rick told me something else. He told me you said I could do better. Is that true?”

Daryl squeezes his eyes closed. Silently cursing Rick again, he hands his empty flask over to Jesus who takes it but doesn't refill it, waiting for his answer. Daryl realizes Jesus thinks he won't answer, thinks he will need to keep something in his pocket to bargain with.

“Ya, cuz ya can. Could do a hell of a lot better than some middle aged, good fer nothin’ redneck, who don't know a damn thing about relationships.”

Jesus tentatively gets up leaving the flask behind and moving to stand close to the fire, he gestures for Daryl to do the same. When Daryl is stood beside him he turns standing nearly chest to chest with Daryl whose breath catches in his throat. Jesus looks powerful and the way shadows are flickering across his features only enhances it. He looks every bit like his name sake. He touches the bottle to Daryl's chest and when there hands meet on the neck Daryl thinks he might pass out.

“I need you to listen to me very carefully. You are one of the strongest people I've ever met. You're brave and smart and loyal and you have a big heart. The very first thing I noticed about you was the fierce closeness you share with your family. It amazed me and the more I was around you the more I wanted that closeness for myself. I never stayed at Hilltop long before you and Maggie showed up. I'm no good at relationships I don't know how to do this but I want to try.”

Daryl is taking small shallow breaths unable to keep himself from watching the way Jesus’s lips move while he talks. Standing so close together feels like the whole world has melted away and they are the only two things that exist. Jesus reaches up and trails a delicate touch from Daryl's hairline to under his chin. The shorter man getting a better view of Daryl’s face looking up at him. Daryls organs feel like they are shaking and he brings the bottle to his lips feeling the ghost of Jesus own on it. Every nerve in Jesus’s body is on fire. He can't remember the last time he put himself out there like this he feels like he is walking the plank. When Daryl brings the bottle away from his mouth Jesus watches his lips. He sees the way  they shine with the remnants of whisky and Jesus unconsciously licks his own. Thankfully Daryl speaks up.

“‘M scarred. I never … I never nothin’ Hangin’ around ma brother and his skinhead friends I couldn't let noone know. Till It was too late.”

“It’s not too late.”

Jesus crushes the distance between them bringing his hands behind Daryl's head and burying them in his hair. Daryl closes his eyes at the contact.

“Is this okay?”

Jesus voice is just a whisper. Daryl nods his head and when he does his forehead lightly bumps into the top of Jesus head. They stand their for a moment until Daryl can feel Jesus’s breath on his face.

“Would it be okay if I kissed you?”

Daryls heart is in his throat but he nods again and gives a sort of grunt unable to speak through the tightness in his throat. The gentle press of Jesus lips against his feels like the first breath after a coma. His entire body is electric and he is dropping the bottle of whisky to tangle his hands into Jesus hair. A surprised gasp leaves Jesus before it's smothered by the fierce pushback from Daryl's lips. Daryl finds that kissing is less about knowing what you're doing than he thought. His body knows and his mind doesn't have time to question it. Jesus places a hand on Daryl's chest breaking them apart.

“Hold on.”

Jesus lips look plump and bruised and his eyes are wide paired with his wild hair Daryl thinks he has never seen him look more beautiful, a similar thought is passing through Jesus’s mind when he catches his breath.

“M’ sorry”

The doubt Daryl had avoided before is bubbling up now.

“No, that was perfect. I’m just… I needed a second.”

Jesus thumb is gently stroking Daryl's collarbone and Daryl's hands have shifted to cup both of Jesus shoulders. Daryl can feel a slight shake under his hands so he pulls Jesus in holding the back of his head as he tucks it into the crook of his neck. The embrace feeling somehow just as electrifying as the kiss. Jesus lets out a shaky sigh gripping Daryls vest in his fist and relaxing into him. Daryl’s mind is spinning. He doesn't ever want to let go. There is a sound in the distance a rustling and a clang followed by a thud. Both men freeze in their embrace.

“Do you think?”

”Shh.”

Daryl strains his ears his mind turning over the possibilities. He pulls Jesus back looking into his face still gripping him as he gestures with his head for Jesus to circle around and come at the noise from the other side. Jesus understands and nods quickly pulling his beanie and gloves from his pockets and putting them on.

The Lookout: Rick and Maggie

Rick untangles himself from the collapsed and broken camping chair as Maggie tries to catch her breath between fits of laughter. Rick had been standing on his chair trying to hold in his excitement as he witnessed the scout and the archer finally kiss. It took every bit of restraint  he had not to hoot out a victory cry. Then his foot had gone through the worn fabric of the chair's seat and the entire thing had collapsed the metal bars clanking together before Rick hit the ground hard.  He manages to free his leg from where it's trapped.

Maggie stands to try and help Rick but he waves her off the red in his cheeks finally fading. He brushes his hands on his pants before returning his gaze to the men at the camp site. He moves his binoculars around trying to figure out where they went and when he can't find them his heart rate spikes.

“Maggie?”

She is assessing the busted chair with a clicking tongue.

“Hmm?”

She asks her thoughts elsewhere.

“Maggie? Where did they go?”

Maggies attention snaps back to the current situation and she quickly scrambles over to her own binoculars. The two of them scan the clearing again their panic edging closer as Maggie can't find them either.

“I dunno they were right there just a minute ago. You don't think somethin’ happened?”

“Maybe they went into the tent?”

Rick asks hopefully, trying to keep the worry out of his voice. A rustle to his left his Rick tensing and then there is a hand wrapped around his neck and a voice next to his ear.

“I don't think they are in the tent.”

Jesus’s voice is a mock version of Rick's as he says it, the southern drawl sounding goofy coming from him. Rick relaxes not worried now that the arm pressed to his throat will end his life.

“Jesus, you scared the crap outta me.”

In front of him Maggie is clutching her chest and glaring up at Daryl who has both his arms locked around her pinning her arms to her sides above the elbow. It looks more like a hug than an attack. Rick thinks Jesus grip might looks similarly harmless to Maggie and he smiles the relief finally flooding through him. They were all accounted for and unharmed.

“So. You guys worked it out then?”

Daryl drops his arms from around Maggie and steps forward like he might hit Rick but Jesus has spun them around and placed himself in front of Rick just as fast.

“We sure did, Maggie looks pretty tired, scheming sure takes alot out of a pregnant lady huh?”

Maggie looks at the ground guiltily as Jesus continues talking.

“Since we have a run to go on in the morning I think we outta rest up. You got watch Rick right?”

Jesus asks but he is already walking towards the clearing down the hill followed closely by Daryl and Rick sees that it isn't actually a question at all. He looks behind him seeing Maggie zip the flaps of the tent closed and realizes he is alone. He shifts turning around again and sighs.

The next morning the group decides to take the car to the town 2 miles over rather than walk for Maggie's sake. When Rick falls asleep on the way there the group takes mercy on him and clears out the clinic without him. Maggie finds as many excuses as she can to wander away from the two men when she sees the way their arms brush or their gazes lock. Rick might have made a mess interrupting her plans but he certainly sped things up too. She grabs a bottle of minty toothpaste so Rick can give it to Michonne. She thinks that there ought to be a good reward in it for him.

Please do not remove watermarks,link to another site or repost Irenedrews work without her consent!

[fartandsoul]

ALL THE MUSICAL POST THING

WHY HELLO THANKS

everything is under the cut since there’s over 30 questions! if anyone read this all i would be impressed and die for u

1. Favorite (Reprise)

y’all 38 planes (reprise)/somewhere in the middle of nowhere is the best reprise ever created sorry i don’t make the rules

2. Best Act 1 ending.

like….nonstop gave me chills when i saw it and it’s still my fave hamilton song i have to choose it 

3. If you could go back in time to see a certain production, which one would it be?

if i say i would go back to see great comet with josh as pierre does that count

4. Who should write a musical?

like, this is a weird answer, but i made a post the other day about if dave malloy and sufjan stevens wrote a song together but now i really want to know how freakin weird a musical by them would be 

5. The routine you recreate when home alone

i don’t really do a routine but i usually sing no one else loudly in the shower or do sonya & natasha while cleaning/getting ready it’s such a good song to sing while getting shit done

6. A duet you’d love to perform and with whom

oh lordt i can’t sing but a little priest from sweeney todd would be really fun to do

7. A musical everyone can learn from

come from away!!!!!! it’s really approachable and catchy so everyone can be into it but it’s also so important and beautiful!!

8. Favorite set design EVER

is it a surprise that i’m going to say great comet. when i imagine being back in that theater sometimes i start crying

9. Favorite person to play Natasha Rostova

this question told me to insert a role and obviously i picked natasha so that i can talk about how denée literally IS natasha like pippa, shoba, and everyone else are good natashas but denée somehow embodies that naivete and inner joy and also strength and stubbornness of her she does the most beautiful job and seeing her do it live really made me love natasha and i am not going to stop ranting about her performance for as long as i live

P.S. remember when she called natasha “radiant” in her tweet? that’s the most accurate descriptor of denée AS natasha also

10. Best digital #ham4ham 

oh the time lin did the barricade bit

or rent4ham because that made me watch rent for the first time and now i love rent

oh or the time pippa sung laurie’s song from the tender land i watch that so much it’s beautiful

11. Make up a name and the ingredients for a Waitress pie

haven’t listened to waitress yet!!

12. Best tap number

like, any bit from newsies, kaylee @jackellysbae knows them

14. Express your love for the orchestras!

HI I WANNA GIVE A SHOUT-OUT TO THE ORCHESTRAS OF TINY LOCAL THEATERS THAT ARE EVEN LESS RECOGNIZED THAN THOSE AT BIG BROADWAY THEATERS like my local theater always does so great w the orchestra!! good job y’all

15. Favorite musical written by Dave Malloy

this one also told me to insert a composer/lyricist so obviously i had to say dave and like i go back and forth between great comet and ghost quartet they’re both so beautiful but comet is just spectacular, gorgeous, and life changing so uhh. great comet

16. Which part (or parts) do you sing in One Day More?

u fool, i try to sing them all at once, you cannot sing it any other way (but mostly javert for some reason)

17. A line that never fails to make you laugh

oh in come from away both “ya. that’s a m00se” and “cold towel?” im screaming

and in comet “we are off to the clUb” 

18. An upcoming production you’re excited for

THE MY FAIR LADY REVIVAL I WILL SEE IT OR DIE

also i’d love to see once on this island!!!

and dave’s moby dick musical whenever that comes out

19. Do you have any funny misheard lyrics from a showtune?

i know i have a couple from comet i think in the fast part of moscow i got really confused for a bit and just mumbled but if i think of anything more specific i’ll edit this

20. A musical you would NEVER see with your parents

well my dad hates musicals and i’d probably see almost anything with my mom except book of mormon or spring awakening

21. Musicals can introduce you to new cultures, interests, fancy words and so on. Name 3 things you’ve learned form musicals

well i read war and peace after getting into great comet so that was a pretty big Learn

come from away obviously i learned about gander!

also i’m going to be a sappy asshole and say that musicals in general have taught me to just GO FOR IT you fool you want to write a rap/hip-hop musical about founding fathers and work on it for 6 years? do it you want to write a musical that doesn’t even rhyme? or a self-insert of you and your three friends with like 3459835 timelines that doesn’t even make sense sometimes? you wanna mash every fairy tale together or write about your hometown or make jokes about shakespeare or write about cannibalism whatever you can do anything (and let’s not even get into what the characters themselves have taught me). musicals really just inspire me to write and since writing is what i love doing most in the world that’s really valuable to me

22. Favorite OBC

uhhh great comet next question

23. Cast recording you know by heart

surprisingly i listened to hamilton the other day for the first time in a year or so and i still know it all

also great comet of course

in the heights, ghost quartet, come from away, and sweeney todd pretty well like 90%

24. Cast recording for a long car ride

okay u gotta time this stuff….hamilton or comet are both perfect for my drive home from school like it’s almost exactly 2.5 hours

for a longer trip (4+ hours) i would say the entire works of dave malloy

for an even longer trip (6+ hours) i would make a playlist of the Big Ones like wicked, into the woods, etc.

and for the longest trip of all (10+ hours) just put your theatre playlist on shuffle and go hard

25. Favorite Miscast performance

brandon victor dixon and mandy gonzalez doing one second and a million miles!

26. I really like these ones so: make 2 musical related confessions

1) i don’t like book of mormon

2) have i listened to anything by alw? no

27. Showtune of the day

tango dancer from ghost quartet has been stuck in my head for a week

28.  Who would play you in a musical about your life?

oh lordt why would you want to make that

29. Who would play your best friend in a musical about your life?

several of my best friends have beautiful voices so im just going to say let them play themselves!!

30.  Who would play your romantic interest in a musical about your life?

what is a romantic interest and when will i get one

31. 2 solos you’d love to perform

like i said i can’t sing but i almost have brittain ashford’s range so let’s say hero from ghost quartet (not that i could do it justice) 

but if i had pippa soo’s range i would love to do times are hard for dreamers from amelie

32. Describe yourself with 3 musical theatre characters

well this is hard

natasha rostova, portia from something rotten (lmao this is for the poetry mood), and the baker’s wife from into the woods

33. A character that inspires you to be better

pierre bezukhov!!!

34. A showtune that always puts you in a good mood

the abduction!!!

35. A showtune that makes you feel melancholic

no one is alone from into the woods

36. Best showstopper

kaylee @jackellysbae said defying gravity and like…..you can’t argue with that

37-40. 

Already answered!

[survivortaveuni]

Episode 6: “Uwu Her Way Out The Door” -Shea

Finally, finally the swap arrived! A schoolyard pick, with LA, Nic, and Steffen as team captains for their original tribes. This tribe swap shook up the game somewhat and also got people to submit confessionals. Waitavala was also dissolved due to flopping. 

On new Bouma, Steffen gave Jack E access to the Rainbow Reef almost as soon as he met him. Steffen also formed an alliance with Billy, Lily, and himself (which never went to tribal together, either). They did search for stuff in the Rainbow Reef, though. Steffen was somewhat aligned with Jack E, which left Steven on the outs. 

On new Motomaiqi, Charlotte and LA met up for the first time in the game. LA, the captain of the tribe, was glad Jordan was gone, because she felt like she was on the bottom of the old Motomaiqi with him and Jack C as a duo. Tribewise though, it was 2 Motomaiqi with Jack C and LA, and 2 Bouma with Charlotte and Tyler, and 1 Waitavala in the middle with William. This might make William the swing vote, but we’ll see...  

On the new Ravi Levu, Nic quickly aligned with Jordan, gaining access to the Prism Reef from him. Nic continued his agenda of getting out the people with connections, except he was trying to get out Jordan’s people which was...yeah. Shea felt concerned because nobody from the undefeated original Bouma was with them on their tribe, hoping for merge to come soon. 

Anyway, the challenge this round was the Word Game, aka Lily slaughtering everyone in her path. It was a little scary. It was also a double tribal, which meant two people were going to tribal council. Lily carried her new Bouma tribe to victory, sending the new Ravi Levu and Motomaiqi tribes to tribal council. 

On the new Ravi Levu tribe, Nic and Jordan pulled in Gavin to form the Demon Hunters alliance which targeted Roxy and Shea. Jordan pushed for Roxy, Nic pushed for Shea, and ultimately Jordan got his way with Roxy going home 4-1. 

On Motomaiqi, everyone decided to vote out William for being a weak player and for not really being connected to anyone on this tribe. Jack C was a little paranoid, thinking about playing his idol, but he managed to control his paranoia and not play his idol. If only he managed to do that in the future as well... William was sent home unanimously as planned 4-1.

Endurance immunity challenge! I like to call this 'how long can we all stay awake so we don't end up dragging our asses to tribal council.' I haven't been yet, and I don't wanna for as long as I can.

Right so we had the swap and I got to be team captain which was exciting. *puts on captain america shirt* (lowkey wanted to be on tribe with steffen) I think the new tribe is pretty good, we have some strong players so we should be okay. Honestly I feel more comfortable without Jordan because I felt at the bottom, I'm pretty sure he would have kept Billy and Jack over me but now I don't have to worry about that and I have a chance to get closer to Jack  and hopefully keep him as an ally moving forward. This double tribal is stressful though, cause Lily is slaying in this challenge but  hopefully we can pull through.

The swap was rough for me. I was probably the weakest member of the strongest tribe being Bouma, and I ended up on a tribe alone with nobody else from OG Bouma. We're getting our asses handed to us hard in this challenge and it's a little difficult to swallow. I'm pretty much going to tribal no matter what since I don't feel like we can pull this out. I think I have a decent chance of surviving this tribal, and hopefully merge is next. If push comes to shove, I'd be willing to vote out any one of these people, I'm not attached to any of them. 

OKAY WOW! I'm doing REALLY good with this challenge, I seem to be socializing quite a bit (by my standards), and everyone seems to be on good terms with me. It looks like we'll be evading double tribal, but it looks like if we do end up vulnerable at some point, I'll have the trust of a lot of people here. I feel like the planets are slowly aligning for me to end up winning this game, if I'm being honest! I don't wanna jinx it, of course... But still. I score high in challenges, which might put a target on my back at merge when I'm left non-immune, but... Jordan likes me, Steffen likes me, Billy likes me, Charlotte likes me, LA likes me, and it looks like Jack and Steven like me too. So, uh... F5 TR6 C7 is on the horizon for me. ;)

Dear Heartbroken Diary, Well seems that while my actual life is garbage, this game isn't going the worst? I dunno, but I promised Kevin to write a confessional, so HERE I AM.  So since last time, I formed that small alliance on my old Bouma tribe with Lily and Charolette, and gurl it wasn't just lit, it was about to burn the island down.  So we figured out the Rainbow Reef, and we pretty much mapped out the entire thing, like we got it, we know where the stamps are to get the Rainbow Idol, like thats a plus, oh ALSO, GUESS WHO NOW HAS A RAINBOW IDOL!!!! not me, but like, I can get it whenever I want, however there's a catch.  So I got my prism pass all pretty like right (shoutout to Mitch), I got all the stamps, but turns out if I swap it, then I can never EVER head back to the Rainbow Reef, which is insanely problematic.  So while I could get the rainbow idol, why would I do that now, I mean sure I could have it, but extra votes and shite could still be waiting over there.  My plan for the time being is just to make sure I can keep my lines open so I know that if Im going home, I can get that rainbow idol.  Otherwise rn, me and Lily and probably Billy are gonna use our Bouma Bussy map to find what advantages we can, which will be difficult since those clues are vague as heckle.  Anyways the next big thing is the swap.  FINALLY, though its weird cause when I wanted a swap, it couldn't come soon enough, but now, when I dont necessarily want a swap, it happens.....YAY LIFE.  So here's the dealio, Liana leaves and I get assigned as the tribe captain of Bouma, LA for Moto, and Nic for Ravi, and we go in order picking what tribemates we want, WHICH MEANS I DONT HAVE TO BE ON A TRIBE WITH NIC THANK THE LORD, tbh with any luck he'll leave soon enough.  So heading into this I needed to make sure I could easily gain majority on the new Bouma tribe, thus I picked Billy, I got Billy to pick Lily, thus my majority was formed since we know each other.  The next thing was to pick someone who wouldn't vote for me if we were in the minority, so I got Lily to pick Jack E. my bae from all stars, so if all goes well I should be ok???? Who knows, he says he just wants to make jury, but hey if that helps me get further, yay me.  So that leaves Steven, who I don't really know, but he seems sweet as heckle, so main goal is if we don't go to tribal until merge, cozy on up to him, if not, I'd rather him go next.  I can't get too comfortable in this game, even if I have access to an idol, an alliance and hopefully winning this challenge, but who the heck knows at this point, right now the goal is to win so I don't need to be in jeopardy.  Also I'm calling it rn, we're gonna merge next round cause apparently now 13 person merges are peoples kinks.  But I was also hella wrong over the swaps before so I say don't trust a word that comes out of my mouth.  SO LETS HAVE FUN With spite, Steffen

We swapped and I am finally away from people I was with from the beginning of the game. Steffen is on my new tribe, which is kind of disappointing, but I am going to have to deal with it. I decided that for this tribe, I'm just going to be a social butterfly, maybe the comic relief of some sort. I have started calls in the tribe chat just to rant and hopefully get a few people interested in working with me. I am not going to try very hard in the challenges, like I have been before, because I think it's more fun to live your life in this game on the edge, and tribal council is just the tip of the iceberg. My tribe is most likely going to win immunity, but it's a double tribal so I am kind of disappointed that we're winning, but just think about it, we're gonna have a numbers advantage and I like everyone here! I think I can use my skills to get myself to the merge and finally become a complete mess. Thank goodness I am likeable!

Fuck. I'm pretty worried, because the way I see it, me and LA vote together, and Charlotte and Tyler do. While I think the smartest move is to vote out the weak link William, it'd be very easy for the ex-boumese to just snag his vote and get me or LA out. I'd prefer to not waste my idol, but i also don't wanna die with it in my hands. This situation's all different dimensions of fucked.

Here's hoping that tomorrow's tribal is an easy one. I think we're all on the same page with voting William. He's the one person I haven't really talked to since we swapped tribes. Also lily, I love you girl, but I wanted to murder you a little during this challenge. Holy fuck, you're a beast. I miss Bouma guys. Wah.

So that challenge was a shitshow. Like how did Lily even do that? After a certain point we shouldn't have even bothered but whatever. So the plan is for Charolette, LA, and I and possibly Jack to all vote William. I'm putting my trust in Charolette. I hope she is right when she says LA will vote with us. I don't know I just don't want to get voted out yet.

I'm really worried about this vote. I was good friends with everyone else in Waitavala, and now that nobody is still with me in Motomaiqi, I don't think I'll last very long. 

I'm sorry Tyler, but you're my vote. 

Going to tribal sucks, and not a surprise, my name has been brought up by a few people. I'm lucky I'm on a tribe with Jordan, someone who has a lot of trust in me and will go out of his way to protect me, which he has. I didn't do much in the challenge and I'm the only person here from Bouma, I'd be an easy vote, but I am very skilled in the art of making sure I'm not the one going home, and I'm gonna make sure I do that tonight by shoving Roxy so far under the bus that it just runs her right over. I know I have Jordan's vote, he isn't gonna betray me as it just isn't an option for him right now. All I need is to get either Nic or Gavin, both very easy to manipulate. Strong guys with big egos is who I like to surround myself with, and you all have left me with many of those. All I need to do now is for Roxy to uwu her way out the door and hopefully merge will be next.

Voted William. I see this vote going 1 of 2 ways, either its 4-1 against William or 3-2 against me/LA. Guess we'll see.

Lily's back must hurt, cause SHE CARRIED THAT FUCKING TEAM, damn. (sorry kids, I swear sometimes) So Moto is going to tribal, I'm not too stressed about this one? The plan is to vote out William and I hope everyone will stick to it. Jack was worried but I'm working with Charlotte and she said Tyler was down to vote out William too so unless the boys teamed up, we're golden. 

We lost.. no surprise.. fuck everyone on Bouma. Fuck them. So Gavin/Jordan and I form an alliance. Jordan wants Roxy gone cause Roxy hates him lol. Roxy knows Jordan/Shea are a duo and wants one of them gone. She originally brings up Jordan's name, but I switch it to Shea because Jordan's my ally and I love making subtle moves. I'm literally the most subtle person on this island. I want Shea gone because I think we could do better with Roxy for reasons I'm too lazy to type out. But Jordan gets his way and I gotta vote out Roxy even though I don't wanna. Oh well. My edit must suck uugggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhh maybe I'll do something chaotic to stand out like tell Roxy she's getting votes. Too bad she's not online.

Also like Roxy/Jack/I made a deal to stick together. Voting out Roxy ostracizes Jack E. Jack C is also good with Roxy so goodbye to our chances of working with him and making a majority alliance at merge!!!!! Anyway Roxy's on. Do I tell her the news or what. Also fuck the Rainbow Reef. It makes me homophobic

the biggest nut in this game is me doing absolutely nothing but calling the tribe chat to rant about things and STILL going to be immune because they’re winning for me I haven’t talked to anyone but stiffen I’m literally gonna die vdofjgbgh but at least I'm selfaware!

you know whats hilarious nic is going after my friend group in the game, people like andrew steffen and billy and lily or whatever and like thats fine by me but nic is telling me as if I’m not apart of that friend group or whatever like okay give me info now ill choose my side later