#but when i try to explain it im like ???????? i cant explain it but i know what im trying to say

[bonesandthebees]

im confused sorry but why is everyone celebrating tommy, jack, and phil talking about dream that way?? im seeing a lot of mixed sides on them talking about this so im so sorry if you cant answer

oh boy anon uh. this is a bit like opening pandora's box ngl.

I don't know how much context to give but basically a very very pared down version is: back when the dsmp was in its heyday with cctommy being, yknow, 16 years old, there were some instances of interactions he and dream had that seemed off in certain ways, but given that us fans only saw the public thing + general fandom opinion of dream being very different at that time we generally tended to believe that the interactions were joking and friendly on all sides

over the years, as we've come to learn more about the person dream really is a lot of fans have looked back on these somewhat strange interactions with a more critical eye. specifically with the podcast clip I reblogged, tommy, jack, and phil were referring to a twitter interaction dream and tommy had back in 2021. tommy had made a dumb joke about dream, dream replied basically saying he made tommy's career and that tommy owed his success to him and even posted graphs of sub counts and stuff to prove his point?? I don't remember exactly what the reply was but it was along those lines and was strangely aggressive for an obvious joke tommy was making. so phil replied to dream with his own tweet basically saying "imagine taking credit for another creator's success because you helped guide them a bit" which was such an eloquent and simple takedown that the tweet has achieved somewhat legendary status in the fanbase lol

so yeah, in the podcast tommy, jack, and phil were talking about the behind the scenes of that whole thing basically revealing what most of us figured: tommy was joking and dream took it way too seriously and got aggressive publicly on twitter with someone who was ostensibly his friend, who he could've just dmed to clear things up. the reason phil jumped in is because tommy had dmed him at the time asking phil to help because he wasn't sure if dream was trying to joke as well or if he was genuinely pissed at him.

also on this podcast (which is a bonus episode only technically available on their paid patreon) tommy, jack, and phil all talked pretty openly about their true feelings regarding dream during that time and also now. basically, what phil and jack were both saying was there were a lot of red flags with dream's behavior back then with the way he treated the people around him. it's basically very cathartic for a lot of the fanbase to hear about this because we've all suspected for a long time there was a lot more animosity between cc's behind the scenes, especially after that spilled over to dream's public behavior on twitter.

sorry if that's not exactly coherent I am tired but I hope that explains things a bit

[ganondoodle]

i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)

i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-

and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)

by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)

its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )

i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that

what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode

[soft-cristobalite]

Watched arcane season 2 act 1, thought abt it, so here are some of my thoughts in no particular order. Obvious spoilers.

Also, i watched in dub. Important to know when i am quoting charaters + when i am talking about their tone.

Starting of with something that is directly affected by dub — ukrainian Jayce is my Jayce. Ppl said he sounded condesending while talking to Ekko — not. at. alllll. true for my Jayce. My Jayce sounded tired, emotionaly burn out. "You drink tea, Ekko?" said with no though to it, in a context of continues talking of "Haha do i live here? Hahah....... Do you guys want tea? Want some tea? I'll make tea. Do you drink tea, Ekko?". But d-dub is supposed to stay true to the original— I DONT CAREEE. I love my blorbo almost-himbo Jayce, never changing his characterisation in my mind.

And i will hold Jayce's hand when i say this — you were. Just so gay for like... Essentialy going "Are you okay? Good, good" to lady Mel Medarda HERSELF and then seeing Victor and losing your mind. Sprinting with him in your hands to your lab. LIVING in your lab to monitor him. I just... I get it, you don't have many friends. But like...... Really dude. Reaally.

Give Mel and Ekko thirty minutes. I promise you they would work it out. Eternal piece would be achieved.

I know there are a lot of different opinions regarding Caitlyn. I will not be explaining in-depts what i think about her acr, because a) who cares and b) i like to see her go cray-cray. But like — why isnt anybody exept for Vi attempting to stop her??? Like why is Jayce mourning Victor's twink death instead of, yk, stopping his childhood-best-friend-kinda-younger-sister from killing ppl of Zaun, the last thing Victor wants btw? She and Vi are twenty-ish — WHYYYY are they going through it by themselves??? Why doesnt baby yoda guy with German name that i dont dare to write trying to stop the daughtrer of his ex-collegue? He is 600 or something, im sure he could've come up with advice.

Cait pointing her gun at a child is terrifying, it opens up the possibilities of her going even more blinded with anger, doing even more horrific things, and Vi is right to try and stop her. However... I know damn right i would've believe her when she said she will not miss 😭 Every single time she fired her gun she was very precise. Even in that scene she aimed at the gun the girl was holding like two seconds ago and got a perfect. fucking. score. Like i dont remember her missing at all, actually.

"Ohhhhh you're gonnnaaa haaaaaattteeee Maddie after act two—" says who? On that note, i hope both Cait AND Vi will sleep with a few random people. Good for them. Let them try to forget about each other only to realise just how down bad they are for one another. Let the scenes of Cait and Maddie hooking up intertwine with Vi's one night stand.

"Maddie is just gonna be a victim of comander Cait :(((" and i do not have any thing to say to that — we dont yet KNOW what will happen — but I dont think Cait will try to manipulate her into this. I think Maddie will flirt a bit, Cait will try and seek salvage and vulnerability in someone, especially since she is now constantly in public's eye and needs to project hope™ and stoicism™. It will be a genuine attempt to move on — not anybody's fault she can't.

But oh god, oh goooddd i cant wait for Maddie to loose the spark in her eyes due to lesbian situationship.

[cyancees]

i have neither a good imagination nor aphantasia, but a secret third thing

[umblrspectrum]

go read Memento Nori and Like the Stars and What Friends Are For and just generally all of Ad Astra Per Aspera by LadyDaybreaker on ao3

[king-magppi]

🦾Detroit doodles from these past two weeks! When I wasn't replaying the game I was drawing these.🤖

Alice has 3 dads. NONE of them are Todd. (I need to draw Luther with Alice) Oh by the way the last two are from my own little happy ending AU where Kara, Luther, and Alice bring Ralph and Jerry(s) over to Canada with them!! They learn to adapt to life as "humans" and they all love Alice very much! She deserves it.

[arrowheadedbitch]

Thinking about the episode where Nessie Jr hatches and how Colonel Baird assumes that Ezekiel is goofing off so she gives him a job to do and he keeps trying to get that job out of the way as fast as he can so he can go back to the very important job he was doing.

There's so much to be said about that part of the episode!

The way colonel baird assumes he's goofing off, the way he doesn't even try to defend himself until after he's already finished the thing she was stopping him from doing, the way he only explains why he was on his phone after she's already scolded him multiple times, the way he HACKED a GOVERNMENT SATALITE from his CELL PHONE, the way he genuinely cares about the egg despite it being dumped on him because of the assumption that he isn't working on something worthwhile, the way he's genuinely upset that he almost killed the egg by accident, the way he doesn't realise a bunsen burner will kill the baby but knows how to HACK a SATALITE from his CELL PHONE, the way he doesn't really care that Baird kept him away from his important work because of an assumption, the way he never tries to curb her assumption, the way he's only annoyed and really only mildly scolds her for making him take longer to figure out the other's were in big trouble, the way that this episode deeply effects how Baird sees Ezekiel, there's just so much to be said

[puppyeared]

whenever someone asks me for help or advice i want to beam all my lived experience and advice that helped me through it directly into their mind to try and spare them as much pain and stress as possible, but because i cant actually do that what ends up happening is i dump everything i know related to that topic hoping something helps them like

[ratatatastic]

they asked luosty about the paul quote on mikksy

and he just smirks to himself as he tries to find his words to answer the question in way that gets no one in trouble

[bunnihearted]

being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me

[nyatbinary-81]

@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.

[yarrowleef]

I was skimming part of code of the clans today where the Leafpool narrator goes over proposed code rules that were struck down. I was curious why this StarClan rule wasn't implemented because it seems like something the zealot clan cats would go for. The guide does not rly answer my question lol

This is such a weird paragraph. It's like. In one breath Leafpool-narrator is saying they didn't make it a code rule because clan cats can think for themselves, but in the next breath implies that belief in StarClan is in fact necessary for living in the clan, because to live in a clan means you have to follow the warrior code, and belief in StarClan is what makes them follow the code (apparently). If you don't believe in StarClan, she seems to imply that must mean you are planning on leaving the clan? ("it's not a law to stay in the clan" + you can "choose a different path"?) There is not actually any room being made here for a clan cat to peacefully not believe in StarClan---at least not a good code abiding clan cat. And the alternative of leaving the clan obviously means you are no longer planning on following any of the code, so like...how is this meaningfully different from making it an official code rule?

[commonzinnia]

you are still responsible for your behavior! hope this helps ✨️💖💞

i didnt say i wasnt! hope this helps 🫶🫶🫶

[motherforthefamicom]

redrew an oc thing from last year :3

[gifti3]

okay im back with more for this arranged marriage AU! Heres the last thing i wrote

this time i made something longer--Asmo and MC doing their little meeting/date before agreeing to marriage its fun check it out :]

the only warning is "an upset asmo getting in ur personal space'" other than that i think thats it!

Tomorrow you were supposed to meet your possible future fiancé. This type of affair was not a first time thing for you so you already had an idea of how things would go. Which was the two of you being forced to interact for several hours.

Though you knew what was coming, was it not possible to be a little nervous considering who it was you were meeting?

Asmodeus Morningstar--one of the most influential families in Nefarelin. Their was no shortage of exceptional members in that tree. And to be crass, every other potential spouse you met before were like dried leaves in comparison.

And this didn't even factor Asmodeus's own appeal and popularity. You'd only seen him in passing a few times but you could tell he was quite beautiful even from a distance. On top of that, the general public were strangely obsessed with him. You weren't completely sure why, but he must be very likeable if that's the case.

God, how many people have probably asked for his hand in marriage by now? You could only wonder.

All around it would be pretty foolish to turn this down. And that's why you were nervous…. Your parents were giving you a choice. But it was one of those choices where the answers were 'yes' or 'hmm, okay I suppose'. You did not want to know what would happen if you dare declined.

You'd already considered the logistics of this situation, dwelled on it for days. And it would definitely be a loveless marriage from your side. And that was something normal…but you were fine with how your life was currently! You didn't want to deal with any expectations romantic or otherwise from a spouse.

And what about Asmodeus.

He was well loved by many, had a reputation for enjoying the nightlife and being the center of attention. It seemed highly unlikely that a man like him was looking to "settle down" all of a sudden!

Your hands stop fiddling with your hair.

Wait.

Maybe this arrangement could work.

~

God this is so uncomfortable.

Maybe you underestimated Asmodeus. For some reason the first time your eyes met his saccharine ones, you struggled with maintaining contact. Each time, it felt like he was staring straight into your mind.

Perhaps it was just your nerves but either way you were overwhelmed. You didn't feel like yourself so had trouble talking.

Luckily for you, Asmodeus didn't notice or didn't care as he had been talking nonstop this entire time.

"Hellooo?"

"Oh--sorry what did you say?"

Asmodeus repeats his question while fanning himself. "I asked if you wanted to rest for a minute. I need a break from the sun."

"Okay…"

It was sunny today but not too hot to take a walk. Though you had been outside for a good while with Asmodeus. You both make your way to a gazebo that provided good shade around this time of day.

You rest your elbows on on of the railings and prop your head in your hands. A small sigh escapes you.

"Can you make it any more obvious that you don't want to be here?"

Asmodeus rests a small distance away, smiling but you're not so sure if he's being lighthearted about it.

It was a fair observation. These meetings always felt like a waste of time to you. They were forced interactions. The worst type. And you already knew you'd agree with the arranged marriage at the end anyways.

"Sorry, I'm just a little tired."

You look back at him and try to give a friendly(?) smile. Actually why not just be straightforward now?

"It's kind of hard to believe you want to get married. It doesn't seem like something that would interest someone like you."

"Eh…I guess there comes a time in everyone's life where they think about these things."

Very vague.

Asmodeus leans back in his chair, looking up as if he's scraping through his brain. "But I don't recall running into you beforehand. I definitely would have remembered…so how would you know that?"

"I've heard a lot about you. Kind of impossible not to."

You had a bit of an idea about him before this whole situation. But once it got out that he was "interested" in proposing, well the maids had no problem telling you everything they knew. It was definitely not all true, but it pretty much confirmed what you already felt.

"That makes sense. Isn't it great that now you get to experience me in person instead of by word-of-mouth~"

"…Uh huh. Well I feel like I should tell you now. That I plan to say yes."

"Say yes?"

"Say yes to marrying you."

You watch for any negative reactions but nothing. Though you were still sure he wasn't really interested in marriage.

"…Oh?"

"Listen I understand if you were forced into this position. In fact, I'm sure that you were. And to be honest I've never been partial to marriage myself. I always thought it wasn't in the cards for me…"

You take a step away from the railing closer to Asmodeus. "But wouldn't it be foolish to say no? Outside of the benefits it would have for my family. You're definitely one of the most sought after bachelors…and well just look at you. I'm almost a little envious…"

Asmodeus's curious face changes to something else. Something you can't really place your finger on. You just knew he didn't look very pleased.

"Well at least I know you're not blind." His fingers play with his fringe. "And that's all fine and dandy but…"

When Asmodeus stands and looks back at you your heart skips a beat. You take a step back as he takes one forward. "I hope you're ready to handle me because I don't think you can."

Oh my god what was happening?

You were frozen in place as Asmodeus trapped you against the railing between his arms. You didn't even think to push him away and just stood there stupidly.

"I-I…"

Rustling sounds from a nearby hedge, but when you both look in the direction of the noise there's giggling and the sound of retreating people.

You sigh. At least someone was enjoying the show.

You gently push at Asmodeus's chest so you can make space.

"Sorry sometimes the staff gets bored haha…er should we h-head back?"

"If that's what you want."

Asmodeus turns away from you. "I just want you to know that since this marriage is just a title I'll be sticking to my usual. Hope you don't mind~" He walks away humming to himself.

Your brows furrow…that man. Why'd he have to do all that? You weren't expecting anything different in the first place?

You let out a huge sigh. Was this going to be the norm from now on?

Well at least you both were on the same page about the marriage…. but you couldn't help but think a serious misunderstanding just occurred.

[puppyeared]

i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand