#but when i tried to explain it i couldnt make it make sense

[oetscop]

i kept misunderstanding what this voice coach was trying to say abt scheduling and they seemed Slightly angry over me not knowing their availability so i just like blocked them. out of embarrassment 😭

[macroglossus]

being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED

[mothpdf]

also i love that all vampires ever all collectively went "fuck science we dont want to know shit"

[apcllpsie]

— ON ACCIDENT

DEAN WINCHESTER x FEM!READ

★. 18+ CONTENT - read at your own discretion , youve been warned.

PAIRING?: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

OUTLINE: After a long day of hunting .. you, sam, and dean all head back to the motel. you & dean have some sort of tension after a incident during the hunt, and sam tries to make sure dean does something about it.

WARNING(S): smut , p : v , dirty talk , semi public sex , praise kink , strong language , use of pet names

It had been an extremely long day of hunting, you were beyond sore. And Sam was right, windigo's are a total bitch to chase. You began to slowly creep up on the windigo, when Dean followed closely right behind you. Unfortunately, Dean wasnt looking at the ground, he was looking at the girl infront of him.

"Son of a Bitch! Hes getting away!" y/n said, beginning to run after the windigo, dean followed right behind you, running after it. this windigo was fast, and could fit through tight spaces. You and dean had made it to a very tight spot, between two walls, deep down in this cavern where the windigo was keeping its victims. As you began to get in between the walls, so did Dean. And here you both were, stuck inbetween the walls. Your back on his chest. "Youve got to be kidding me. We lost him." You huffed in frustration and exhaustion. You were trying to move as best as you could, not helping Deans case.

"Y/n, stop moving." He said, embarrassed, following by a groan. "What..? Why?-" You had said, as you felt something on your back. Your face flushed red, "Im so sorry-" Dean began to repeat, over and over again. "I dont know why or how that happened-" He tried to explain, but you were in not only shock, but in embarrassment. The thing is, is that youve kinda always had a thing for Dean. I mean, he was your type. Total pretty boy, good smile, tall, flirty, knows how to talk, strong.. The list goes on. But, deep down you never thought that you would even have a chance with Dean. There was no way he had any sort of interest in you.. right?

"Dean, its okay. I wont mention it." You said, cutting off Dean. A million things were running through your mind, but you could only focus on one. "Lets get the hell out of here. I dont wanna be here anymore, we can chase after it tomorrow." Dean nodded in agreement, as they both got out of the situation together. That was definitely not something that you had on your bucket list. To get into a moment like that with Dean? As you caught up back with Sam, he noticed that both you and Dean were failing to have eye contact with eachother, let alone the fact that your guys' face was flushed red.

You guys got into the car, sitting beside Sam. You really couldnt sit next to Dean after what happened. It would really be nothing but awkward. And Sam could sense the tension. He needed to know what happened between you two. As you guys got the motel, you went to the back of the car, grabbed your bag and went straight inside. Enough time to unpack and be asleep before Dean talks to you about the situation.

"What the hell happened between you two?" Sam said, pausing in his tracks, turning around to face Dean. "Nothing, why?" He replies immediately. Nonchalant about the whole idea. "Dean, dont give me the BS, what happened between you two?" He repeats again, this time more firmly. A few seconds of silence took replacement of the voices of them when Dean replied. "When me and Y/n were chasing after the Windigo, we got.. stuck?" He says, keeping it to a bare minimum. Dean was already embarrassed about it, he just wasnt gonna show it. "Stuck.. huh.." Sam replied, "Stuck.. what do you mean?" He tilted his head, having a confused face. "She was infront of me, and we got stuck between two walls .. and i .. i uh-" He became silent again. "You.. what?" Sam already knew, he just wanted to hear Dean say it. "I got.. hard." Right after that, sam began to laugh.. hysterically.

Sam and Dean had finally came in. You were unpacked, and about to find something to eat. "I think im just gonna go to the gas station and grab something. Its just a block from here. You guys' want anything?" Y/n says, looking around at the boys who then look at eachother. "I dont want anything, but im pretty sure Dean might." He smirks to himself, with the comment. "Dude, shut up." Dean retaliated, standing up and grabbing his leather coat. "Ill go with you, dress warm, its cold out."

You put on your coat, and head out the door. Sam flashes a smirk at you and a wink at Dean. "You two dont get introuble now!" He laughed, as you began to walk down the road. Dean scoffed, walking beside you. "Im sorry, for today." He said, blurting out of nowhere. "I really didnt mean to, it really just happened in the moment, and i dont want things awkward between us.." You looked over at Dean and smiled. "Listen, its okay. I know it wasnt on purpose." Well, thats what Y/n thought. Dean laughed to himself after the comment. "What? Whats so funny?" You asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "Oh nothin, sweetheart."

That name came out of his mouth like butter, and god didnt it really heat you to your core. To hear him call you that, you just wanted to have him ALL over you. You guys got the stuff from the gas station and came back. It was a quiet trip, in the moment, your heart was racing and you most definitely wanted to take Dean somewhere you two could be alone. "Y/n?" He stops in his tracks, and turns around to look at you. "It was on purpose." He says. You were confused, but then it clicked. There it was again, that same feeling. "Why?" You ask, curious. "Because your attractive." He said, getting closer to you, he began to speak, his voice raspy, and deep. Perfectly just how you liked it. "You make me feel like that everday. You drive me insane." He says, letting it off his chest. "I need you, Y/n." Followed by a groan, he leads you to his car.

This was happening. What you thought about all the time. You got in the car, as he went around and slammed the door right behind him. He got in between your legs, kissing you roughly. He was starving, he needed you, badly. "God, you have no idea how long ive been waiting for this. All those nights, when it was you and me. I thought about bending you over then, and fucking you so rough." He said, kissing along your neck, leaving purple bruises. "Your mine now, sweetheart" Dean said, and he meant every word.

"Now, I need you to be a good girl for me. Can you do that?" He asked, looking at you in the eyes. "I can." You said, looking up at dean. "You cant cum til I tell you to. Okay sweet thing?" Hearing those names fall off his tongue was heaven. And it made you wet. "Yes sir." You said, following his order. “That’s my girl.”  He praised you in that deep rough tone you adored. He ran his fingers along your core, in a circular motion. "Im gonna stretch you out so perfectly." Dean said, as he inserted two fingers in, and curled his fingers, giving the feeling that you needed. "Thats it, keep on making noise, i want everyone to know your mine."

He took out his fingers, holding your legs open for what was gonna happen next. His pulled off his jeans, followed by his boxers. Y/n always thought about how big he was, but to now see it in person, made her mouth water. "Im gonna stretch you out realll good" Slowly beginning to insert his dick inside. A moan escaping your lips as you tried to fit him. "Oh baby, this is all you needed. You needed someone like me to come in, and stretch you out." He began to pickup the pace, his thrusts getting deeper and deeper each time. He couldnt help it, the times when the pants hugged your ass perfectly, or the times where your lips were just so kissable. He needed it to be his. He began to go rougher, the slapping and the groaning was making your head fuzzy. "Fucking you good, you cant think straight, hm?" He began to raise his voice. "This pussy was made for me, for me to stretch you out, and show you how good I can make you feel." You moaned at the feeling of his dick perfectly hitting your g-spot. He felt so good, and you needed this so bad.

"whos my good girl?" he repeated. all you could manage was moans. "fucked you so good, cant think straight, huh baby?" he said. making sure that you still were feeling good. "dean, im gonna- fuck, im gonna cum!" you stated, tears in your eyes as you began to get overstimulated. "me too baby." he replied, pacing himself as he came. followed by you right after. he pulled out, watching the cum ooze out of you. "no baby, you need to keep this in." he took his finger, pushing back inside you. now, you were beyond tired. you put your pants back on, your legs shaking. "dean, im gonna need help!" you said, he smirked, and picked you up. "cmon baby." he laughed, as you guys went into the bathroom. he cleaned you up, getting you into your comfortable clothes. laying you down, as you fell asleep in his arms. he ran his hands through your hair, holding you close. Sam pipes up and says "So, how did it go?" He says, smirking. Dean follows by a "Shut up." as he smiles and goes to sleep with you.

AUTHORS NOTE: hi! this was my first smut book, and i did a light reading over to make sure it wasn't TERRIBLY bad with spelling! feedback is always recommended <3!

[lightlavenders]

also i think spop does a great job at showing how people struggle to think rationally in the face of their trauma. like, i couldnt understand why catra would activate the portal despite everyone telling her otherwise, but she'd been *badly* hurt prior to that scene and all she knew was that the rebellion, her enemies, would "lose" if she pulled the switch, so, regardless of the cost, she pulled it

similarly, hordak tries to send catra to beast island when she lies about losing shadow weaver. as far as things that have happened in the horde this isn't so catastrophic, but he insists on it, even arguing with entrapta when she defends catra's place in the horde. i think the only reason he changes his mind is partially because he decides the crimson waste would be an equally fitting punishment. but despite the fact that catra is the only one keeping the horde running, his trauma at being cast out by prime has led him to value absolute loyalty, and he won't keep her around

you can see it in adora too!! she struggles greatly to remember her own inherent value as a person like, all the time, *especially* when shadow weaver is around

and glimmer, after losing angella and having to be responsible for her kingdom and the rebellion, hurting and not used to taking personal responsibility, lashes out and blames adora when things get heated

entrapta too, on beast island, where she's fully aware that her life is in danger as long as she stays there, has to practically be dragged out, because she can't face integrating back into society, having friends again when she thinks she totally failed at being a friend

i just think the show does a great job of explaining why its characters do the things they do. like even if it doesn't make logical sense, there's emotional reasoning for everything, and i think that's neat.

[mythicmanuscripts]

Hi,just wanted to ask if you would be able to write about people reacting to Aegon in displaying PDA with either his wife or lover.

Like the touches are not sexual but like lingering and innocent, people can see how in love they are or how deep their connection is.

It can also be a brothel worker (I love your latest piece of work) that he cares deeply for and wouldn't mind showering her with affections as she did him.

Anyway, just saying your writings got me into knowing the dom and sub in a very gentle and comfortable way. Love you!

I'm so glad to hear you enjoy my content!! Also yeah I love when dom/sub dynamics can be so gentle and sweet and very very healthy and communicative. Loads of people tend to think that BDSM is purely slapping people and calling them whores but that's not even close to the truth. In case you guys couldnt tell I am most certainly a certified soft dom and service dom.

Anyway, I love this idea! I think I'm going to write this with Aegon and his wife instead of brothel worker? I'm very happy to do a brothel worker one if you guys would like I just think he concept makes a bit more sense with wife!reader. If you have thoughts about this with brothel worker!reader and how that would work then feel free to let me know!! I'd be happy to explain on it.

Back to the point, there's nothing too explicit in this answer so no cut to hide behind, but it's very clearly sub!aegon so bare that in mind before you decide to read :))

I've said this before and I'll say it again: at first your marriage with Aegon is like any other arranged marriage and you're only seen together when absolutely necessary. But then you start to get to know each other and your dynamic starts to become more dom/sub and from there he is absolutely OBSESSED with his wife and everyone knows it.

So the PDA starts once the dom/sub dynamic has been sorted out.

As we all know, Aegon is very needy. He's a needy, jealous kinda pathetic little thing and he wants nothing more than to watch his wife be so much smarter than him and get to be her little gremlin cheerleader who followers her around and has no thoughts whatsoever. Now obviously he's the actual king so he needs to be seen a little more in control than that, as Allicent is always reminding him, but that's not to say he actually tries to seem that way.

If you're in public with Aegon then you are always next to him. If you get called away and are gone for more than a few minutes then Aegon will start looking for you because where are you??!! You're his wife!! How are you be away from him for more than a few minutes!!

He's been known to come up from behind you and wrap both his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind and resting his head on your shoulder while you're talking to someone else. He won't actually contribute to the conversation and if the people you're talking to try to include him he simply won't respond. He's not there to actually joint the conversation, he's there because his wife is!

When he's holding court, Aegon will never allow you to be standing with all the others below the thrown. Historically that is where the queen consort has always been, standing with the other ladies of the court while the king sits on the iron thrown.

Before you two became closer you wouldnt even attend Aegon's court and he didnt care. But when you start to get closer and you start come to court, he point blank refuses to let you stand with all the other ladies. You're the queen!! What are you doing down there???

The first time this happens, you had spent the night with him and he asks you to come to court with him. You agree of course, and you enter the thrown room together. He walks as he usually does and goes up the stairs to the thrown. He turns around and he's about to sit when he realises you arent with him. He looks around and sees you've moved to the side with the other ladies of the court.

"What are you doing over there?" Aegon asks you. He tilts his head and chuckles because he thinks it's absolutely hilarious that you'd actually think you had to stand there with all of them. He tells you to come up with him, and you do walk up the stairs to the thrown but when you get there you simply speak softy to him, reminding him that there's only the iron thrown and not anything else to sit on so you ask if he wants you to stand next to him for the entire thing.

Obviously this is unacceptable to him. He would never make you do that.

He ends up insisting you sit on the actual thrown and he literally just sits on the stairs besides you. Everyone, including you, doesn't know what to think of this but Aegon has no issues whatsoever. Honestly he's very happy sitting on the stairs and listening to all the different things people come to him about. Very often he'll look up at you, silently asking for your opinion and when you do start speaking, he doesn't look back at the person you're speaking to but instead he keeps his eyes on you. He looks so very clearly in love and in awe of you and pretty quickly everyone gets used to it.

After that court day you try to suggest he gets another chair next to the thrown or something but he actually refuses? He really likes sitting on the stairs, likes that you get the thrown. When you try to tell him that you're not sure if that's even allowed he simply reminds you that he's king.

Pretty soon all the paintings of Aegon during his reign are actually him on the stairs with you on the thrown, many of them show Aegon looking up at you and not even looking straight ahead.

That really shows everyone what your dynamic is. You're always calm and collected and very kind when needed. Aegon, meanwhile, is utterly obsessed with you and is always looking at you like he's in awe you're actually his wife.

Of course you're also always holding hands when walking together, or linking arms.

[mit0bee]

Hii! Could you write Silver and Jamil with a s/o who is touch starved? In the sense they're not opposed to affection, but aren't that used to it and get kind of startled, but crave it nonetheless? Thank you so much, have a great night!

WHY IS THIS ME???? ill def be making a pt 2 because i love this so much

Twisted Wonderland Boys with an S/O who is touch starved

Stuff you should read: touch starved s/o, a tinyyyyyyyyyyy bit self indulgent because me too anon me too, bulleted post, i didnt use actual grammar/punctuation because i am lazy, once again no beta we die like men Characters: Silver Vanrouge, Jamil Viper, Malleus Draconia, Leona Kingscholar, Sebek Zigvolt, Lilia Vanrouge

SILVER VANROUGE

Silver first found out about your touch starved-ness when he accidentally fell asleep on your shoulder

When you shrieked softly in suprise, he shot up, thinking that he might've hurt you.

When you explained to him that you were just not used to physical contact, he sighed in relief.

i kid you not he genuinely thought he somehow headbutted you

And oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh boy when he learned that you craved touch, the boy was so ecstatic (for his standards)

from then on, he was always somehow holding your hand, or had his head resting in your lap or something

(at first, he would ask you or warn you before he would touch you, just so you wouldn't be too suprised or startled, but if you were okay with it, and as you got more comfortable, he'd just go for it)

if you were okay with more romantic displays of affection, he'd nap during lunch with you in the courtyard, with you somehow in his embrace

hes such a pookie i swear (im sorry his is so short idk how to write silver *sob*

JAMIL VIPER

Jamil actually found out from a silly little walk to Sam's

he went to hold your hand, and you pulled away, surprised

he thought you were mad at him and when i tell you this man tried to think of a reason why you would be mad at him

when he couldnt think of anything, he decided to just come out and ask if he did something wrong

and then you explained it to him

like silver, he sighed in relief

but not a little sigh

a big one

like muscles relaxing and everything he genuinely thought you were mad at him.

so when you slowly brought your hand to his, lightly squeezing it, you almost killed him

my dude ASCENDED like he actually would die with no regrets

when he figures out that you actually crave touch, he isn't as ecstatic as silver, but hes fairly excited

he'd definitely enjoy showing that he loves you through small physical touches (hand holding, maybe having your arm around his, ect)

Again, like silver, he'd tell/ask you when/if he was going to hug you or something

he wouldn't ALWAYS be touching you, but he would be in private

he himself is kinda iffy on pda but he'd hold your hand or something, nothing like kissing or full on big hugs, but hand holding is a big one for him

you two probably came up with one of those cute systems where its like "two hand squeezes means ily" or something

MALLEUS DRACONIA

he found out when, on one of your nightly walks, he tried to hug you and you just...froze in the hug

he just comes straight out and asks, he doesn't want to assume you're mad at him, but he did do something wrong, he wants to apologize

"Child of Man, is everything alright? You froze."

when you explained that no, nothing is wrong and that you just were a little touch starved, he nodded thoughtfully

"Well then, would you be okay if I request a hug, instead?"

^^^ (all of these men are so polite omg)

when you say yes, he is very happy

if he had a tail, it would wag

you know those cute pictures of rlly tall people hugging their shorter friends, s/o's? thats what this becomes. he is just leaned over, hugging you

"tsunotarou....shouldn't you let go now...?"

give him a second

when he learns you crave physical touch HE IS LITERALLY SO HAPPY

i hc that one of his main love languages is physical touch, so he is VERY HAPPY that he gets to show you just how much he loves you

once again, is another who would start with telling you when he will touch you, but his telling phase ends fairly quickly compared to silver and jamil

his main forms of physical contact are those elegant ones like where he has a hand on the small of your back

he would ALWAYS BE TOUCHING YOU.

more than silver

tfym he cant come to your ancient curses class with you when he has potionology? he already knows everything he needs to know anyway, so why cant he hold your hand a little longer :(

will 9/10 times end up sleeping over at ramshackle big spooning you (the big spoon in me wants to big spoon malleus but maybeeeeeeeeeee ill save that for another post)

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

he puts his head in your lap, and now youre shifting around?

come on herbivore smh smh you cant move so much hes trying to sleep!

when the thought eats a little too much at the back of his mind, he finally asks you whats up

when you explain it to him, he sighs and STAYS WITH HIS HEAD ON YOUR LAP.

but the only reason he keeps his head in your lap is because he knows his herbivore, and he knows all the signs that you're truly uncomfortable with something, so he knows that you don't mind

he breaks the cycle of asking. like i said before he knows his herbivore well, and he knows your boundaries and the signs that your uncomfortable even better, so he knows he won't overstep

i feel like he never had to figure out you craved attention, hes an observer, and just kinda always knew by your lingering touches, even after the shock of the touch

his favourite forms of physical touch are to lay his head in your lap, and basically anything (sexual or non sexual) where your body is on/close to his

hes another one whos main love language is touch, so he is too seen skipping his classes to hang out with you/to pull you from yours to the botanical garden

SEBEK ZIGVOLT

hes very aggressive with his affection, so when you shied away from his hug after training, he did a Jamil and tried to think of any reason you'd be mad at him

hes kinda sulking for the rest of the day until he decides to just come to ramshackle to ask you

"sebek wtf are you doing at my door its the middle of the night- WHY ARE YOU WET?!"

"I COULDN'T SLEEP THINKING YOU WERE MAD AT ME! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I DID, SO I CAN PROPERLY ATONE!!!!!!"

"............what.................?"

you had to run and grab a towel because this idiot decided to WALK over while it was RAINING

when you explained everything to him, how you were just surprised, he understood immediately, so, he joins the Polite Cult (tm) and asks you to give you a hug

when he finds out you crave touch, he is a man on a MISSION

he WILL make sure you get what you want becuase he LOVES YOU SO MUCH

(just dont use your power over him when hes trying to protect malleus. he will become crisis'd about what to prioritize)

he loves to hold your hand sosososososo much its such a little gesture that can mean so much

hold his hand.

LILIA VANROUGE

he went to taze you (yk when you put your hands on someones waist and just pinch/tickle them while going ZZZZZT? yeah that) and you almost died of shock

hes seen many things, when your a prehistoric artifact like him, you know whats up

so you didnt even need to explain, he just kinda knew the second you screamed

hes also like leona in the sense he just knows you arent necessarily uncomfortable or anything

but he still tries to limit the amount he scares you but COME ON....your back is faced to him! its the perfect chance to scare you!

he, again, knew you needed more physical touch, so he's always stuck to you whenever he can be

not like skipping class level like malleus and leona, but he still is with you 90% of the day

another one to come to ramshackle with you, but he wont tell the others where he is so everyone thinks peepaw went missing

get peepaw to take his meds please hes a little deranged

--------------------------- I LOVED WRITING THIS SM but i was cramping the entireee time :( m.list @mit0ee 's work, please do not steal!

[ugly-pickle]

wait!- ☆ scara

CHARACTERS: idol!scara x gn!reader

SYNOPSIS: scara had always promised you that he will always love you and will always have time for you, but he never confirmed that hes a man of his word…

GENRE: angst 🦢 (comfort from another at the end)

W/C: 1.3k

C/W: cheating, moaning, hinting of intoxication, kissing, toxicity, and cussing (if theres anything that i missed let me know!)

A/N: a lot of people liked my previous post so it motivated me to make another! im still new at this so please keep that in mind if a few bits are off (IT’S REALLY REALLY REALLY CRINGY). most grammatical errors are also intentional!

your boyfriend, scara, has a performance today and youre really excited. you received flowers, theyre beautiful. maybe this is an apology for the lack of affection and being more grumpy towards you lately, i mean to be an idol certainly is tiring, isnt it? so it makes perfect sense why he’s acting like this… right?

as always, he gave you tickets to his concert. you couldnt get the chance to say goodbye to him because he left so early in the morning, so youll make it up to him when you meet him backstage.

you got dressed and headed out the door, youre excited to see your beloved scara preform, because he looked happy while doing his job, you were excited to see his smile because… well, he doesnt smile at you anymore… but you quickly brush it off, i mean, being an idol is very stressful.

youve arrived, you tried to enter backstage but some bodyguard stopped you, “hey! what do you think youre doing missy?” you sigh, he must be new, “scara is my lover, i just want to see him,” you try to explain but the bodyguard cuts you off and says “thats what they all say,” he rolls his eyes. “no! really, i am!” you show the bodyguard a picture of you and scara together kissing, “oh” the bodyguard grunts, “so youll let me in?” you look up at him, he looks a bit uncomfortable, “well uhm… ive been given specific orders to not let you in… im sorry,”

“w-what?...”

you heard him loud and clear, the world around you begins to spin, but you quickly ground yourself by comforting yourself with false hopes. maybe hes just planning a surprise for you back there, i mean, it might explain why you got flowers, yea! that must be the reason… you hope.

you found your spot, perfect timing too! the concert begins, you see scara. you melt when you see a smile on his lips, he looks so happy. the crowd screams, theyre chanting 5wirl (the name of their group). venti, xiao, kazuha, heizou, and scara is greeting the audience with warms smiles and kind words.

after a while, the performance ends, it was quite long actually, but it felt so short, time does fly when youre having fun. you head to the backstage doors, hoping that the bodyguard lets you in this time. as you make your way to the backstage doors you see scara’s back in your peripheral vision. hes in a secluded place, he looks like hes trying to be hidden from the crowd, makes sense. you decide to scare him, as you get closer you can see a beautiful lady’s lips pressed against scara’s. you hear the sounds of kissing and soft moaning coming from them.

your heart shatters into a million pieces, it broke so bad that you swore you heard it make a shattering sound. tears fall down your face, youre so stunned that you cant even form words, instead, a pathetic whimpering sound escapes your lips. scara turns around to see where the strange sound is coming from.

his eyes widen a bit, but he immediately regains his composure. “stop crying like a baby and get over it, youre just a nuisance in my life,” now scara was just stomping all over your already broken heart. these simple actions somehow drained all of your energy, just standing was exhausting, not wanting to waste time or energy you give him an “ok,” and you turn around and leave.

you arrive at your shared apartment and decide to eat and rest for a little, so when he comes back you can properly confront him. but, he comes back the next day, hes wasted and the smell of sex is clinging onto him. he walks past you and immediately collapses on the couch and knocks out cold.

when he finally wakes up, youre making dinner. he remembers the encounter from last night. his eyes wander, wanting to look at anything but you. something in the trashcan catches his eye, the flowers. theyre pretty but it didnt come from him.

youve finished cooking, you see scara sitting at the table. you sit down, and placed your meal in front of you and you start to eat. “…what about mine?” scara asks you with a quiet voice. “oh wow, youre initiating a conversation with the nuisance. well, if you must know, that having to take care of you is quite tiring and ive realized that youre quite troublesome and it would be better if you werent in my life. so, kunikuzushi, im breaking up with you.”

hes taken aback when you use his birth name, “h-hey y/n, i didnt mean what i said yesterday… i regret it, it was just the heat of the moment,” he says, his voice trembling a bit. you sigh, “that still doesnt change the fact that you cheated on me, pack your bags and leave, this is my apartment after all,”

his trembling demeanour quickly turned aggressive, “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH LOVE AND TIME IVE SPENT ON YOU?” you scoff, “WHAT LOVE? WHAT TIME? SURE, YOUVE PROMISED ME THESE THINGS BUT HAVE YOU EVER FULFILLED IT? EVER SINCE YOU BECAME AN IDOL, EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU CHANGED,”

the two of you are now yelling. “WELL, BEING AN IDOL IS TIRING, AND BEING BOUND TO ONLY YOU IS TIRING. ANEMO RESEMBLES FREEDOM, I CANT JUST BE BOUND TO YOU. A-AND SHE LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM” youre hurt, you stop yelling, “she loves you for who you are today, but will she when you have nothing?” “NO ONE LOVED ME WHEN I HAD NOTHING, WHEN I WAS NOTHING-“ “I FUCKING DID”

your voice begins to break, “i loved you when you had nothing, i was the one who helped you get back on your feet,” you sigh, hot tears now spilling down your face, “im gonna take a walk, and when i come back your things better be packed.” you leave the apartment, “you didnt even get to enjoy your meal,” he mumbles to himself. he begins to pack his things.

youre walking towards the park, youre tears making your cheeks glisten in the sunlight. you spot kazuha admiring the scenery, hes sitting down on a bench with a pen and notebook in hand, you assume he was making song lyrics or a haiku. you walk up to kazuha and wipe away your tears, “u-uhm hey kazu,” you sit down beside him. “oh hey y/n! nice seeing you here!” his voice is warm and comforting.

“im surprised that you arent swarmed by paparazzi yet,” you giggle, “me too, the quiet is very relaxing. my day has become better now that youre here. wheres scara?” you can feel your eyes watering up “we broke up… he cheated on me,” kazuha hugs you, patting your back, tears are now falling down your face. “you dont deserve that, you really dont, youre one of the most amazing people that i know.”

tip tap tip tap tip tap

you hear the sound of footsteps running, it’s probably someone jogging. kazuha tucks your hair behind your ear while looking you in the eyes.

“WAIT!-“

kazuha presses a gentle kiss on your forehead. you turn your head to see who had just called out, it was scara, he was standing there in shock, tears slipping down his face. “YOU BITCH KAZUHA,” scara yells at him. the bouquet of flowers you threw out earlier was now in his hands. “YOU LIKE Y/N, DONT YOU? YOU HAVE HER THESE FLOWERS, RIGHT?” scara scoffs, “and what if i do? theres no harm in having a crush, unlike cheating on your lover. and, i did give those flowers to her, so what?”

scara turns to you “b-baby you still love me right? a-and not this bastard, right?” his voice seems desperate, “kunikuzushi i-”

A/N: UHMM I LITERALLY HAD NO IDEA HOW TO END THIS- I AT LEAST TRIED LOL ┐༼ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°༽┌

(ngl i wanna make a part 2 because the ending was so messy ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º· )

TAGLIST @justaxiaosimp @mommykukki @xdrin @midnight-pluto @boomie-123 @scaramochies @dnsuhwr874y @hopefulceladon @yukinenikora @akusiapaakudimana @mai-yay @uhfhfhfhf

[crystallizsch]

Hello Ian! ♡

I hope you're doing well!

Here's some more Jamil thoughts for you!

Something I don't see a lot of people talk about when it comes to Jamil is the idea of family recipes, more specifically, recipes that only the Viper Family know.

Food that he and Najma grew up having, learning the recipes for himself once he was older. Recipes that have been passed down in the Viper Family for generations.

I would like to imagine he wouldn't make them for Kalim, or even let him know about them, wanting to keep these foods and recipes for himself.

As he gets to know you, his feelings growing and turning to something more, he thinks of these recipes, wanting to share these foods with you.

Foods to be made and had with family. For loved ones.

As much as he tried to deny it, to fight it, he grew attached to you. Not just attached, oh no, he knew in the back of his mind what this was. He wouldn't admit it though, even when he ends up making one of the recipes for himself, wondering if you'd enjoy it as he ate.

It wouldn't be until you two were a couple that it would happen, Jamil offering to make you dinner one day. Perhaps you arrive early, and he asks if you'd like to help him prepare it. (The intimacy of cooking together, Jamil instructing you on a recipe that only he and his family members know) Once it was done and served, you both would sit down to eat, Jamil waiting for you to have the first bite.

Any compliment you give it will have a sense of pride bursting in his chest, a small smile coming to his face. He's radiating with satisfaction as you both enjoy your meal, promising to cook for you again some other time. He already has the next recipe in mind ♡

(It's up to you whether Yuusha knows the importance of the meal, as I can see Jamil either trying to be subtle and downplay it, or him simply saying it's a family recipe and having you figure out the significance of that on your own)

Thank you! ♡

SHEEPPPP I WAS ACTUALLY SOOBBINGGF

MY BRAINNNN ALHDKSJSJSJSKSBXJS THIS IS SO CUTE I WENT FERAL

i love this headcanon and i’m keeping it in my mind forever and this reminded me of my silly comic from a while ago

his cooking being basically a love language overall is so AGH and trusting you enough to share with you something that is very important to him???

i’m positively GNAWING on this so much

anyways i literally couldnt help it i may or may not have spent all day working on this with yuusha and jamil’s dynamic hdkshdjss

So. Care to finally tell me what this is?

It's a Viper Family recipe.

Oh, no wonder. Do you only serve it on special occasions? I don't think I've had it during any Scarabia parties.

Of course you haven't. This is your first time. And we don't serve these recipes outside of the Viper Family household.

Oh, that sucks.

After Yuu took another bite, the implication of Jamil sharing this meal with her just hit her in the head that she almost spat out what was in her mouth in surprise.

Yuu and Jamil gave each other a knowing look. The prefect saw that the vice housewarden had a flushed look on his face as he tried to cover it up by sipping casually from his bowl.

Yuu was silent as she tried to rack her brain around what he just said.

Jamil attempted to look unbothered but his slightly shifting eyes and darkened cheeks had betrayed him.

So, do you… understand what this means?

Oh, Yuu definitely understood. It was making her feel flustered, giddy perhaps—happy that Jamil thought of her that way. Enough to consider her…

No. Oh, no. Jamil was making her say it. Oh, she was not going to let her do his work for him.

... I don't, Jamil. I would love for you to explain it to me.

Touché. Jamil thought as he set his utensils down with a sigh. Jamil also thought that he could decide to feign ignorance back but he knew it would be fighting fire with fire.

So might as well be direct.

Yuu, I…

(idk i’m out of juice) (plus i do love me some uncertain endings sometimes)

[coeurcanelle]

☆Baby,the stars shine bright☆ pt4

pt1 , pt2 , pt3, pt4,pt5

inspired by the 'kamikaze girls',♡ always had unconditional love for lolita fashion and nothing else but when she met ellie,an auburn haired girl whos part of a gang with a dad's fashion sense ,her love for clothes begins to compete with her growing feelings for ellie

strangers to friends to lovers,love-hate friendship,ellie is into reader♡ but reader♡ shows no interest (in the beginning),opposite aesthetics,early 2000s

wlw,fluff

wc:5k

warnings: none except violence

On a rainy Friday night, when a storm was raging, you were more worried about your father than yourself, even as the whole house shook violently.

He finally came back home, soaked clothes clinging to him, and bruises marking his face.

You felt relieved that he still had all four fingers, after his gang had taken one for letting an enemy escape.

As tears streamed down his face, you quickly wiped them away as he sat before you.

It was clear to you, even then, that you would never choose the same path as your father.

"I'm not interested" you responded to ellie standing in front of you.

The way you beat up the man who stole your purse surprised Ellie, but the fact that you stood up for yourself and didn't ask her to make him pay got her even more interested. It felt like a waste not to have you in Dina's gang, but she still respected your decision; she knew she couldn't force you into criminality.

Also, who the hell would fight in a frilly dress?

Ellie understood that you had your own reasons (she thought you couldn't bear wearing anything other than Lolita dresses).

You couldnt perfectly hear the low whispers from Ellie's friends, but you guessed they wondered why Ellie was asking you to join the gang.

Ellie turned to them and introduced you, saying, "she sells really cool stuff,i got a new jacket for Himeko."

The gangsters shot you a more appreciative glance before talking with Ellie. She explained the whole thing about your stolen purse to them while you were just standing there like this 🧍‍♀️.

After a while, Ellie turned her attention back to you, telling you she has to go do what she usually does while out with her gang.

The girls' motorcycles roared once again, with Ellie sitting behind one of her friends since she had left hers at home. They respectfully said 'goodbye' and left, disappearing into the dust.

Suddenly, you felt self-conscious about the idea of Ellie finding out you had sold her fake brand clothes. If she ever told her whole gang, they would certainly not spare you any trouble and might even do worse than chopping off your fingers...

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

The next day, you were met with peace, but you also had mixed feelings.

You hadn't seen Ellie all day, but out of sight didn't mean out of mind.

Every time you'd do anything, it felt like you were trying to distract yourself from thinking of her.

You kept thinking about how she was willing to help you catch the thief and find your purse, how she tried to lift your spirits up no matter how tired you were, and how proud and impressed she was when you made the thief pay.

It was cloudy that day, but her smile was outshining the sun.

The 200 bucks she helped you get weren't used to buy a new purse; you looked at it and put it in your wallet. Instead of saving up, you thought about giving it to Ellie as a sign of gratitude.

After all, you would probably still be waiting for the police to find your purse if Ellie hadn't been here for you.

Ellie also gave you her phone number,

'just in case you need my help.'

You saved it in your contacts; in fact, she was the only person you've ever had in there.

As you were thinking about texting her, you were also contemplating your emotions.

Bitter, but also sweet; you've never felt lonely before meeting Ellie.

Perhaps it was because you spent such a great time with her that you finally acknowledged a hole you didn't even know was there in the first place.

A hole that was created when you made the mistake of getting attached to people who weren't worthy of your love.

You only realize it now that she's gone, that it actually felt pleasant being around her.

You closed your glittering flip phone, making a 'clap' sound as you sighed. You were comfortable being alone but uncomfortable feeling lonely.

"she's probably having fun with her friends," you thought. So instead of texting her, you tried to distance yourself.

And it started with getting rid of your thoughts about her. So you cleaned your room, baked with your grandma, had tea time, listened to classical music as you sewed a brand new headband, and tried on different outfits for the next time you go out. However, you were spending more time trying to distract yourself than actually enjoying yourself.

You fell into a restless sleep after this long, tiring day, still with the feeling you failed to make go away.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

One, then two, then three rocks were thrown at your window. You were already awake, lying on your bed, but too lazy to start changing.

Or just start this day, in general.

Then another rock hit your window. The rocks were too small to break the glass, but you still wondered why this person kept persisting at getting your attention.

Although you already had your own idea of who that person was.

After slipping out of the covers, you walked towards your windows and opened them, pushing out the curtains, letting the morning sun enter your bedroom.

You weren't surprised to see her once again.

Ellie looked up at you with a faint smile and waved at you without saying a word.

You had no idea why she showed up in front of your house, but the reason was probably not as important as buying your fake luxury clothes.

After a moment of silence, you started to close the windows, making the auburn-haired girl scream to stop.

That was not so discreet of her.

"i'm just going to change, I'll be right back," you reassured her before closing the windows and putting on the curtains.

About 15 minutes passed by before you showed up in front of Ellie. You didn't wear something extravagant, unlike other days, just a simple baby pink and white dress matching with your old-school lolita bonnet.

To Ellie, you took a lot of time to dress up just to put on a simple outfit. "you know, that's kinda rude", Ellie referred to you closing the windows when you saw her.

"I was going to sleep in, but you interrupted me".You didn't only close them for changing, but mostly to annoy her. Her reactions were so funny.

"sleeping that much is bad for your health though",Ellie replied, looking at your face. You looked like you had enough beauty sleep, unlike her and her eye bags.

On the other hand, you didn't mind her eye bags; they looked cute. But the cute freckles adorning her face were adorable.

"what do you know about health? you smoke", you retorted. It was enough to make her face instantly turn as red as a tomato. She was thinking of a violent comeback but couldn't reply. "anyways, why didn't you just knock at the front door like a decent human?"

"your grandma's there"ellie pointed at your front door where your grandma was. You suddenly remembered when your grandma was trying to tear her ear off; it was hilarious now that you think about it.

"oh yeah, I forgot, she's guarding the house from people like you",you said, holding back your laugh. But Ellie wasn't pleased by the slight insult/teasing. You didn't forget when she revealed she stalked your dad though.

"hey, who gives you money? you better watch your mouth," Ellie said, half-jokingly, but you still enjoyed teasing her; it was like a guilty pleasure.

You wanted to ask her why she hadn't come to see you at all yesterday, but Ellie suddenly grabbed your arm, remembering why she came here in the first place. "come with me, I wanna show you something."

Her touch was as warm as the weather. You couldn't explain why, but it brought you a feeling of comfort, knowing that today was going to be as pleasant as a few days ago, or maybe even better.

However, you still felt reluctant.

What's with the excited look on her face?

Ellie didn't directly voice her intentions and it didn't convince you to follow her. "what is it?"

The fact that you spent a whole day with her, even if the reason was looking for your purse, was enough for Ellie to consider you as a friend.

Ellie wanted to keep it a surprise, but she also knew you wouldn't go with her if she told you what she had in mind. "do you trust me?"she asked.

She looked deep into your eyes with a faint smile, she couldnt convince you , so she tried persuasion.

"absolutely not",you replied honestly. The last time she told you to trust her was before the spicy food contest, and this girl couldn't eat spicy noodles to save her life!

The truth was that she just wanted to help. If lying about the most random things could get you to do fun things with her, she would certainly do it.

And that's exactly how she managed to get you behind her on her black bosozoku. You were gripping the sides of her motorcycle for dear life, not having any seatbelt on.

Ellie pushed the key, turning on her motorcycle, before looking at you to make sure you felt safe.

You caught her smirk before she turned her head back to look at the road; the gangster could tell you've never been on a motorcycle before.

"gimme your hands," Ellie said.

You did as Ellie said, and she placed your arms around her waist. You didn't mind being this close to her since it was for your safety, especially when she smelled so good.

You felt safer holding Ellie like this than wearing helmets and protection from head to toe.

But that quickly changed as soon as she drove off, speeding as if she owned the road.

Many drivers honked, surprised by how fast and how close Ellie was approaching them. You could swear you would have died right there if she wasn't used to doing this.

It was almost miraculous that both of you arrived safe and sound in Shibuya, but not without feeling so dizzy that you couldn't walk straight.

"c'mon, was I really that bad?" Ellie complained at your reaction. She forgot it was your first time on a motorcycle as she was driving; she was purely guided by adrenaline and kind of felt bad about it.

"are you expecting me to praise you after driving like this?" You left home without eating breakfast, and Ellie promised you'd eat once you guys arrived in Shibuya. However, you were too nauseous to put anything in your mouth. You wondered if it wasnt part of her plan

The worst part is Ellie wasn't even drunk,she was driving like this sober !

As she was driving, you forced yourself not to blink, too scared that you would see your life flash by at any moment.

"you're such a drama queen. also, I like physical touch over praises if that helps," the auburn-haired girl chuckled. She saw how nauseous you felt and decided to get you straight to the place she had in mind, skipping breakfast.

"shut up"you retorted but you didnt let this information unregistered in your head.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

Entering this luxurious building felt like stepping into a hidden world. You felt excited, but it also felt wrong.

Everyone gathered around everything. Younger adults were drawn towards slot machines, whereas older people gathered around tables playing games you knew your dad had played before.

You immediately recognized you had entered a casino when you saw the elders playing roulette.

It was during this game that your dad met his ex-gang for the very first time, managing to befriend the members despite losing all his money to them.

That must be a gangster thing because Ellie was literally the one dragging you here. You had passed in front of the building multiple times but never entered it due to lack of interest.

Ellie walked towards the back of the room, holding your hand to make sure you wouldn't run away.

You felt eyes on you as Ellie continued towards a colorful door at the back of the room, its colors contrasting with the white-beige walls of the room but blending perfectly with the one she led you into.

The pink and yellow machines immediately caught your eye.

Ellie knew what she was doing.

Upbeat music played, setting the atmosphere, and unlike the other room, these games attracted both elders and younger people.

"what game is that?" You turned to Ellie, who was already taking a seat. There was no way you could refuse playing pachinko after she had won you 200 bucks last time.

"just another way for us to make money,who knows...we might even get rich by the end of the day." Ellie had played pachinko multiple times before bringing you here for the first time. Luck wasn't something she believed in, but she had learned tricks that often made her win—maybe not every time, but more than everyone in the room combined.

It was also the occasion to see you and make up for her absence yesterday since she was busy kicking ass with her friends.

But mostly, she wanted to show off after losing the spicy eating contest to you. She still hadn't recovered after this, being the bad loser she is...

"sometimes your confidence is kinda tricky," you replied, looking at her hands taking out shiny balls from her pockets.

This girl never carried a bag, so she had the most random things hidden in her pockets.

"just sometimes, not every time" Ellie took your hand, giving you a handful of pachinko balls without giving you the choice but to play with her.

It's not like you would say 'no' after making all this way here, and especially after she helped you find your precious purse.

Her finger softly grazed next to the silver bow ring adorning your middle finger.

"did you know that you can make jewelry out of pachinko balls?" Ellie asked as she pulled a lever, launching the balls in the machine. Colorful arrows of lights flickered on the Pac-Man backboard as upbeat music started to play.

"really?" You mimicked Ellie's action with your Dragon Ball Z-themed machine. You weren't particularly into shonen anime, but the other machine to Ellie's right was already taken by a young guy.

Ellie elaborated as she adjusted the pressure on the lever, launching the shiny balls in the machine, trying to get them into the winning pocket. "you can drill small holes into the balls to string them together for necklaces or bracelets. I've seen some girls adding beads and charms, it's kinda cute."

Your eyes followed the balls bouncing off pins and obstacles as you pressed the button, trying to control their trajectory. Too focused on the machine in front of you, you nodded in response to her random facts.

Ellie then closed her mouth, fully dedicating her attention to putting the small balls in the winning pocket. The balls kept launching in the machine as she applied pressure on the lever, but not a single one would hit the jackpot. She considered this as a warm-up, hoping she would quickly get the hang of it.

On the other hand, despite having absolutely no experience in playing pachinko or gambling games, you were doing perfectly, having each single ball thrown straight into the winning pocket as if you'd been playing for years.

It was not strategy nor how many times you were pressing the button that would make you win; there was simply no other explanation than luck. You never went outside without putting on your favorite silver ring, convinced that it would bring you luck. And here you were, getting more balls in the tray ready to be exchanged for money.

Ellie looked at your machine, purely intrigued. She thought she was going to impress you and not the other way around.

Not a single ball missed the winning pocket!

"hey, did you know why the pachinko ball went to school?" Ellie went back to playing but not without trying to distract you.

"I have no idea." You knew what Ellie was doing; you were starting to know her a little better. Her stupid jokes weren't something that would easily distract you; in fact, you kept accumulating new balls in your tray.

"because it wanted to be a little brighter." She was the only one laughing, but she managed to make you smile, which satisfied her.

She was convinced she could make you laugh out loud soon.

"trying to distract me won't make you win." You would occasionally glance at her, desperately trying to get at least one ball in the winning pocket, noticing how her confidence disappeared instantly from the minute she started to pull the lever.

You almost pitied her. (you kept playing anyway.)

Ellie thought there was no other explanation than a machine problem; maybe she picked a defective machine that would only make her lose.

After a few minutes, you noticed Ellie wasn't beside you anymore; the seat on your right was empty, and instead of her, you caught the envious gaze of a guy looking younger than you.

The sound of people whispering behind you, along with balls aggressively flipping at every corner of the machine, made you turn around; Ellie was behind you on another machine.

Luckily winning, she'd get new shiny balls in her tray after 30 minutes of playing, already imagining how full of cash her pockets were going to be.

However, if money could bring luck, it could also do the opposite; you were too focused on your game to notice how much attention it gathered.

"It's her, right over there with the child's clothes," the door in the back of the room opened before loudly being slammed. Two men in suits walked straight towards you.

Ellie noticed them and stood up before they could try anything.

"she's cheating, sir! I saw her with my own eyes!" It was the same guy looking at you with pure envy from earlier, now talking. You didn't even notice him leaving. You wondered how he was going to prove it.

"miss, stand up and step aside," the taller guy ordered, not even considering the younger guy lying.

"how is winning cheating? this dude is just mad that I have good luck," you defended yourself, but you could tell the taller guy didn't want to hear anything from a woman like you, even if you were telling the truth.

You desperately wanted to keep your jackpot, so you had no choice but to do as he told you, hoping this misunderstanding would quickly end.

Suddenly, you felt a hand forcefully pushing you towards the two men. The three of you fell to the floor like bowling pins, with the two men's heads bumping into each other as yours was cushioned by the tall guy's abdomen.

You didn't even want to apologize when the younger dude yelled at you for trying to kill them, claiming it was an attempt to get away with your 'cheating'

You sighed at how chaotic the situation had turned in just a split second and noticed Ellie behind you.

The two men slowly stood up, and the taller guy pushed you away before he went to check the pachinko machine.

There was no proof that you were cheating, and the look of envy on the guy's face was now mixed with jealousy.

He added another lie, determined to make you lose your jackpot. "aren't minors forbidden in this place, sir?"

His tone was so cocky; you were more trying to control yourself from punching him in the face than keep explaining yourself.

"shut the fuck up. I bet your pubic hair is still growing for the first time," Ellie walked towards him as she cracked her fingers, her patience quickly wearing thin.

The guy stepped back anxiously as he recognized the golden signature on Ellie's jacket.

You've never seen anyone get in such a state just by looking at someone's jacket, but this also explained why everyone would give Ellie a 3-meter of private space in public.

"excuse me? watch your mouth, otherwise not only her, but also you will be expelled," he wasn't even denying what Ellie had said.

The tall man looked you up and down, wondering how the guards even let you enter the casino. You and Ellie didn't even see anyone controlling people at the entrance.

Ellie's gaze shifted from the young guy's face to the tall man's, coming up with a quick lie too, even though both of you were legal. "no, seriously, she's uh... she's my mother. she's just dressed in child's clothes."

Both of the guys looked at each other before looking at you, searching for any sign of old age.

"Yeah, I brought my daughter here so we could get money and get a lawyer for divorce." Your brain worked faster than you'd think. You glanced at Ellie before looking at them, hoping to make this lie sound like truth to the stupid men.

Unfortunately, their level of stupidity was so high that they would only believe men lying, but never women, regardless of whether they'd lie or tell the truth.

Because you had tried both,but it didn't stop both you and Ellie from being expelled from the casino, thrown outside of the building like useless trash.

You brushed the dust off your dress as you stood up with Ellie. "I hate men," you complained as you looked at the front of the building.

The reason both of you got kicked out wasn't because of your age, but because Ellie violently headbutted the two men who were going to call the police on them.

You didn't blame her though; you got kicked out without your jackpot, but she did what you restrained yourself from doing.

Ellie looked at you, making sure you weren't hurt or anything. "same, they didn't have to throw us out like that", her voice dripping with annoyance as she looked back at the building.

Although you were safe, with no police to track you down and no men trying to threaten you, you still felt bad and for losing the jackpot you won.

But you stopped worrying once you recognized the shiny balls Ellie was taking out of her pockets. "no need to be grumpy now,i got these just in time" Ellie said proudly as she handed them out to you. Ellie was usually chill and carefree, but in serious situations, her brain would always work faster than she'd think. That's how she got the quick reflex to push you to the two douchebags so she could put your pachinko balls in her pocket.

There was no way you were going to get in trouble AND lose what belonged to you.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

Impatiently, both of you went to exchange the pachinko balls for money secretly. It wasn't your first time doing something illegal for your own interest; in fact, it was starting to become a habit.

Ellie counted up all the money while you stood next to her, ensuring there was no one watching around, but your eyes would always turn back to Ellie with a focused look on her face.

You couldn't see her beautiful freckles because the roofs of the houses were blocking the sun, casting their shadows on the ground.

The darkness reflected the mystery of Ellie's mind to you.

You wondered what her childhood was like, why she liked darker colors, how she always appeared tough and fearless. You wondered if she ever showed her vulnerable side to her gang members.

But mostly, you wondered why she kept helping you. Was there a deeper meaning behind her smile, a message conveyed through the way she looked at you, and why was she desperate to hear you laugh at her jokes?

Ellie wasn't an attention seeker, but she loved it when you would give yours to her.

The way you stood up for yourself and kicked the ass of the asshole who stole your purse that day was undeniably attractive.

Ellie was still thinking about it; she also imagined how it would be if you joined her gang. The day after that, although she hadn't seen you all day, it didn't mean that you didn't leave her mind.

You realized you hit the big jackpot when Ellie gave you the amount of money your luck was worth; those 500 bucks were easy money for you.

Ellie had a bit less money than you, but when you handed her half of what you had, she refused respectfully.

"we said we'd split up," you insisted. You still had the 200 bucks she got you doubled up in your purse. They were the first thing you grabbed before she drove you to the casino. You never had the occasion to properly thank her for helping you find your purse until now.

Ellie looked at you. She knew your intention but still refused, though she appreciated the act. "you won this because you're a good player. It's yours," her tone softer than usual.

So you softened yours too. "at least take it as a gift." You took her hand, but she closed it before you could give her anything.

You knew Ellie preferred actions over words, so why wasn't she accepting the money?

"I swear I'm going to shove it in your mouth if you keep refusing my act of gratefulness."

Ellie just laughed at how quickly your tone changed, insisting for her to take the money you offered her. She liked how fast you started to understand her.

"Wow, so kind of you, but-"Ellie replied sarcastically, but suddenly her phone rang, interrupting your moment.

Slipping the money into her pockets was far from discreet, so you decided to wait.

You weren't listening, just hearing.

You assumed the deep raspy voice talking to Ellie was Joel. He was telling her to come back home soon since the sun was going to start setting, which she agreed to. She couldn't say 'no' after he said he made pizza.

Ellie talked to Joel as she kept eye contact with you, making the call quick.

"' 'mkay, see ya," she closed her flip phone, making a 'clap' sound before fully focusing her attention back to you.

"kiddo..." you muttered. The way Ellie and Joel conversed told you a lot about their relationship. Joel had a caring yet friendly tone, while Ellie would give short and direct responses. Something felt off between these two, but what caught your attention the most was the nickname Joel would call Ellie. "he calls you kiddo, how cute."

Ellie put her phone back in her pocket, giving you an unappreciative side eye. "don't call me that."

"I was just saying that the way he calls you kiddo's cute." You noticed how embarrassed Ellie got; it showed all over her face with how fast she blushed.

Ellie sighed. She regretted not lowering the volume of her phone during her call; she knew you would tease her about it. "yeah, but he's the only one allowed to call me that."

"but I wasnt calling you kiddo."

"say that one more time and I'll kill you." Ellie shot you a glare as she playfully threatened you. You forgot this side of her for a moment. It wasn't the weed making her chill and goofy whenever she's around you; it was just the way she was with you.

You smiled playfully before leaning your face toward her,you knew perfectly how to annoy her "kiddo"

You ran as fast as you could away from her, with her chasing you.

The wind was blowing against you, making your hair fly as you ran.

Ellie was catching up to you, but before she could grab you ,you stumbled and slipped headfirst on the floor !

Too embarrassed, you stayed on the floor when you heard Ellie exploding into laughter as if she had been holding her laughter in for centuries.

"you don't even wear platforms, how the fuck did you slip like that?" Ellie walked closer to you still refusing to budge. You wanted her to feel guilty

Ellie noticed the lack of response and instantly got worried, already imagining the worst scenarios. She crouched down, gently moving your hair out of your face. "hey ♡, are you ok?" Her voice was caring and gentler compared to earlier.

If she only talks to you like this when worried, you'd stumble on the ground more often.

[aspoonofsugar]

Hello again. First, thank you for your answer to my request; it was very good and I liked it alot. And I was wondering if you can do a couple more. No rush at all, and I promise to separate each question. I just love Chaggie and I loved your analysis on them. But again, I won't rush you and I understand if you can't. So, I'll start with my first question to about the couple: According to their voice actors (sorry couldnt find link), Charlie and Vaggie's bond are at the core of the show; given that, how do you think their relationship will evolve in season 2?

My second question; like I explained in the previous question, I'm separating each request because they're pretty long. Anyway, my second Chaggie related ask if you could do an analysis of Charlie's reaction to learning of Vaggie's secret. During the trial, she was all confident and defiant but all that leaves the second Vaggie's secret is revealed; then the fight is gone from her. Her anger at Vaggie isn't her typical comedic anger or anger with her demonic form; it's filled with coldness, iciness, distance, and stoicness; it still hurts me a little whenever I think about Charlie's cold questioning if Vaggie would've told her the angels' weakness if she knew and then coldly asking if Vaggie was with "us" (her and Alastor). How despite having to deal with a corrupt Heaven, Adam's threat, and finding allies, Charlie is more concerned with how Vaggie kept a secret from her. How more easily angered she was because of it; and by that I mean how more openly annoyed she was at Alastor's taunts instead of brushing it off, rolling her eyes at Rosie's joke at her and Alastor being a couple, and flipping off Susan. It was just so...I can't even find the right words.

Last question. Something I've noticed that's very cute. When Charlie introduces Vaggie to Lucifer, she refers to her as "my girlfriend". This is totally fine but it may realize something - Charlie didn't also add that Vaggie was the manager of the Hotel. But when introducing the other Hotel occupants, she referred to them as their title. Just to make it clear, I am NOT bashing Charlie or anything. I just thought it was interesting. What are your thoughts on it? And as promised, this is my last Chaggie question for a while.

Hi!

Thank you for passing by again. I love writing about Hazbin and the Hellaverse in general, so thank you for your questions :)

I will answer them in reverse, if it is not a problem.

Something I've noticed that's very cute. When Charlie introduces Vaggie to Lucifer, she refers to her as "my girlfriend". This is totally fine but it may realize something - Charlie didn't also add that Vaggie was the manager of the Hotel. But when introducing the other Hotel occupants, she referred to them as their title. What are your thoughts on it?

I don't have many meta-thoughts on it. I think the choice was made because Charlie telling Lucifer Vaggie is her girlfriend and his reaction to it were the most important pieces of information that needed to be conveyed by the dialogue. After all, Charlie sharing that Vaggie is her romantic partner is a much more intimate detail than simply saying Vaggie is the Hotel Manager. In general, Vaggie and Lucifer's short interaction is full of information and details:

Charlie introduces her girlfriend to her dad - This is sweet, but it also gives us an idea of how estranged father and daughter are. After all, Chaggie have been together for three years by this point.

Vaggie's reaction conveys how nervous she is about meeting Lucifer. She is worried about first impressions of course. However, her covering her eye also foreshadows her anxiety to be outed as an angel.

Lucifer's reaction to the reveal is a strong characterization point for him. He tries to be supportive, but does so in an absolute weird way (as per usual). It is a sweet, but awkward interaction.

In short, a lot needs to be conveyed in very little time, so it makes sense you want to cut the unimportant stuff. All in all, Charlie saying Vaggie is the Hotel Manager would not have added anything to it. It would have meant nothing both for the audience and for Lucifer.

If you want to go deeper, though, you can say:

Vaggie's introduction focusing on Charlie's personal bond with her nicely foils Alastor's one, which focuses on Alastor's role as Hotel Host. In general, Alastor and Vaggie are two opposite influences in Charlie's life. So, their opposite introductions are interesting.

Charlie herself mostly sees Vaggie as her girlfriend. That is Vaggie's role in her life and how she wants her dad to see her first and foremost. It is something that simply comes natural to her. The same can't really be said for the other guests and staff. Angel, Pentious, Nifty and Husk all grow to be Charlie's found family. However, she initially sees them as her guests and staff. Vaggie is instead Charlie's girlfriend and only later on she becomes a member of Charlie's staff.

Could do an analysis of Charlie's reaction to learning of Vaggie's secret?

I am not writing a long analysis because I am planning a longer meta to explore this. In short, though, Charlie's reaction to Vaggie's secret is important because it marks the beginning of her character arc. As a matter of fact Charlie represses all her negative feelings.

She doesn't let herself feel fear, resentment or anger. She represses it all being a cheerful and optimistic persona. However, Vaggie breaking her trust makes Charlie's mask crack. She loses her living crutch at the worst possible time, when Adam is coming to kill all her loved ones. As a result, Charlie's coping mechanism shakles violently and we are able to take a glimpse at everything Charlie hides.

The self-loathing, annoyance and anger Charlie shows in episode 7 aren't things she feels because Vaggie kept a secret from her. These are things she always feels, but usually manages to hide. However, Vaggie is such an integral part of Charlie's life and self-identity that the moment she discovers Vaggie isn't who Charlie thought, the Princess starts doubting who she herself even is:

Charlie: She always supported me, and my ideas, and-and- and now, I don't know whether or not that was just more of the lies!

So, Vaggie is a catalyst for Charlie to take a glimpse at a part of herself she ignores, but that she needs to integrate. Her shadow:

This is why episode 7 focuses so much on Alastor and Charlie's relationship by the way. That is because Alastor is the character embodying the jungian shadow and he is both dangerous (he makes a deal with Charlie), but also helpful (he helps Charlie with the Cannibals). The shadow is both. It is one negative emotions, but also one's postential. That is true for Charlie as well.

Moreover, the reveal Vaggie isn't as perfect as Charlie thought is clearly foreshadowing for what will happen with Lilith. Here comes your last (first?) question.

According to their voice actors (sorry couldnt find link), Charlie and Vaggie's bond are at the core of the show; given that, how do you think their relationship will evolve in season 2?

Charlie and Vaggie's bond is the core of the show, as they clearly foil Lucifer and Lilith. I think the Overture makes it very clear that Lucifer and Lilith's story is important. Either way, it would not be told to us at the very beginning of the show. Theirs is a tragic love story, as it broke the world and the two are currently separated.

Charlie and Vaggie instead are framed as a new generation, who will repair what was broken. That is why the two girls foil both the Fallen Angel and the Demon Queen in different ways. They are meant to redeem the Devil and his Wife. In particular, Charlie as the protagonist must face and solve her complicated feelings for her parents:

Charlie: No, we just have never been close. After he and mom split, he never really wanted to see me. He calls, sometimes, but only if he's bored or like needs me to do something.

Charlie: Not that long, only...seven....years, off doing something important, I'm sure!

But Lilith's hope remained. And her dream passed down to their precious daughter, the Princess of Hell.

Notice that Charlie clearly projects all her parents' bad qualities of on Lucifer and all their good qualities on Lilith. Both Lucifer and Lilith are neglectful, but Charlie only recognizes Lucifer's neglect, not Lilith's. Similarly, the Hazbin Hotel is the embodyment of both Lucifer and Lilith's dream, but Charlie only mentions Lilith. So, she has to better understand both of her parents, if she wants to grow up.

In season 1, Charlie starts with Lucifer, specifically she discovers her father's hidden light:

In season 2, Charlie will have instead face her mother's shadows:

Just like she did face Vaggie's ones in season 1. No doubt, when the time comes Vaggie will be by her side, so that Charlie can empathize with Lilith and understand her, just like she did with Vaggie.

Apart from this, both girls need to continue their arcs:

Charlie has just made a first step into integrating her demonic parts. At the end of season 1, she needs the help of both Alastor and Lucifer (two mentors) to succeed. Alastor helps Charlie charming the Cannibals. Lucifer helps Charlie defeat Adam.

Vaggie has just made a first step into dealing with her abuse. She shows Lute mercy, but she is still harboring strong anger and hate. Not to count she has just started dancing and self-expressing.

So, both will keep inspire each other to grow. Also, structurally, I would say Charlie is the protagonist and Vaggie is the deuteragonist. So, they will both keep on sharing the screentime.

Thank you for your asks!

[nemzd]

Purification and Order in a place no diffrent then hell~

Part 03/??

Everyone was sleeping soundly in heaven, everyone one, except the man in your arms, Archangel Raphael, while you were peacefully sleeping holding Raphael in your arms, the man has opened his eyes.. and just looked at you,..I mean who wouldnt? The Lord, maker of heaven and Earth left heaven.. and is in the presence of a mortal.. his Spirit, the Spirit of God... he can feel him... but he can also feel.. that if he attacks you, or tries anything on you..the lord will severly punish him. For hurting the chosen one, chosed by God himself for some kind of task, would anger God truly.

As he thought many things.. he looked at your chest, where he was naturaly lying his head on.. he just looked your chest and saw the mark of a Angel and not only that ... but your shirt was also ripped off... he knew which angel would dare to do so..

Raphael:..Micheal.. what big sin are you gonna commit with hurting this human?.. Oh dear..

...

(Now it may come a bit weird but hope it still sticks to it)

As he said those words, he traced his finger on your chest, removing the brand left by Micheal on you.

He just looked at your face.

Raphael:If God has chosen this mortal as a vessel .... then who am I to hurt and go against the divine will of God?...

...

He said those words.. he felt.. wonderful for the first time in a long time.. he couldnt explain how this human had the Spirit of the Lord... nor why he felt so comfortable on sight seeing this human and how they were able to calm him down to such a decree... He was happy to say the least.. he tried to touch your face but then you moved slightly, which he knew and meant that you were about to wake up.

He stood up and saw a nearby chair, and stood up to get a chair for himself to sit near you, while you felt moved and shifted, you groaned and opened your eyes.. and saw him, Raphael in his full glory.

You tried to remember what happend last time and then remembered it fully.. you were in heaven, in heaven my dear! But the moment you began to smile you stopped it, realizing something.. what was told to you by Micheal the Archangel.. was partly true... because you know the feeling of being in the presence of God... but here in heaven where it should feel the most intense.. it isnt diffrent then being in earth... oh dear.. what has happend?..

You turned your eyes to Raphael, the Archangel.. and looked at him.. he then spoke.

Raphael:.. ......Mortal.. how are you able to speak with the almighty lord himself... How?!

...

He said to you, the moment ??? has brought you here.. and that even Micheal came to you.. and now that he also realised you were marked by him.. just shook him.. and when you prayed.. oh dear.. he felt the lords presence once more.. and not only that.. his Holy Spirit.. is inside of you... it hurts his head even just thinking of it!.. And that he chose a mortal... over his own angels.. his own servants.. just.. it hurt him...

You:... I dont know.

Your simple but direct answer.. Just made him stare at you.

Raphael:...HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW?!

...

You: How am I supposed to know? In your eyes I am just a sinner aint I?.. One worth of death, the only reason I am in such a close relationship with God, even closer then you angels seem to be with him.Is because Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour, so yea my God is the most gracious, most perfect and loving being in all of existence!

...

Saying those words made you feel good, not only were you always on the side of God but it also made you feel like you done the right thing, and these exact words shocked Raphael, even though it did make him angry to some sense... it made him realise.. what he himself lacked that you seemed to have a abudance of.. and that is love.... so he took you by your hand, sliced off the chain off your wrist and took you by arm... and dragged you outside the room... he was gonna bring you into the "Throne room of God"...

At a diffrent diffrent place~

Micheal felt something odd.... he didnt feel the human that branded and marked with his own blood.. it made him stand up in horror trying to run to where you were but someone else stopped him.

???:.. Micheal, dont be that hasty, stay calm, how far can a mortal come in this realm?.. you got nothing to worry about, so just sit down.. and I make sure that the Angels bring them back to their chambers.. So dont worry.

...

Micheal:... I will take care of it myself Gabriel.. and dont you try hurting them in any way.. they might be our only key into finding out where God is...

...

He said those words with a malice intend, not intending to spare the man even a moment before he walked through the doory not sparing a second at Gabriel...

Gabriel:..You may try something.. but dont you dare get in my ways.. because that human.. will be mine.

...

Said Gabriel as he smilled happily to himself.... oh well will this be finally happening?.. He doesnt know.. but it will make it a worth while experince.. he chuckles to himself.

Back to you

He still dragged you around the corridors, yes you knew heaven was supposed to be very large but you didnt expect it to be this large!.. But on the way waiting infront of the door to the throne room of God.. you saw a familiar person... wait thats Archangel Micheal!

You nudged at Raphael and said that he should see who has come.. and when he waited.. Raphael saw him.. someone he didnt particuliarly like.. Micheal.

Micheal came nearer you.. you off course forgetting your Shirt was ripped and your chest exposed, he couldnt just watch this.. and he threw.. a garment on you?..

Micheal:.. Cover yourself with that and return to your chambers, right this instant..

...

Raphael just looked at the both of you... a but shocked.. normaly anyone that breaks the commands of Micheal or even does a poor job, would have been killed.. no matter if it was a angel or a demon...

Micheal(Thoughts):.. They didnt leave.. huff.. I cant let them leave after finally being in the lords presence after so many years.. and the mark... Raphael seemed to have broken it... ha.. then I just add a new one..

...

Micheal once again took his sword and sliced his arm once more, he threw his blood on your hand this time... he just smilled and looked at Raphael with a cold glare.

Micheal:.. If you try to break that mark again.. I be having your head next Raphael, and also dont try to make the human go with their chest like that now return with the human to their chambers.. tommorow I have some plans for them..

...

He said and looked at you with a smirk, he then left... Raphael even though he also is a Archangel wanted no smoke with Micheal.. even though he didnt wanna hear his lousy brothers command.. he had to obligate...

Raphael:...You heard him mortal.. time to return you back to your chamber... ha..

He took your small frame.. wrapped you like a Burrito in the garment which was obviously almost twice your size.. and held you in his arms.. like a bride.. and then he walked into the way of your chamber... all through the way you have been silent.. at times you looked at his face... which was.. beautiful but.. he had a eyepatch.... you didnt know why.. but when you tried to reach for his face.. another bright light emited.. but this time.. it wasnt just any light.. the light seemed to be green in colour.. and when Raphael saw this he was stiff as a stone.. Just watching what happend....... he .. felt something.. he removed his eyepatch.. and his face felt.. much warmer.. he ran into your room, with you in burrito style in his arms.. he threw you onto the bed and ran to your desk in your chamber.... he saw .. his face was completly healed.. and his.. eye.. he could see again with that eye.. he looked at you with wide disbelief..... but then he smilled at you.

Raphael:.. You truly are a blessing from the lord... thank you.

And with that, he left the room.. leaving you puzzled.. normaly this shouldnt have happend.. and this doesnt happen in around 2 days!.. Oh dear.. you pray to the Lord that everything will go according to his will.. and then.. simply layed there on your bed.. snoring and sleeping in your burrito garment...

Somewhere else

...

???.. just smiled.. he seemed to be happy...

???:.. My dear spouse.. they have returned.. oh how exciting this will be, Darling I am waiting for you♡

(Cliffhanger :D)

Huff, this took some time to think through but for now I am done, I know I am technicly late but still HAPPY EASTERN SUNDAY, HE HAS RISEEEEEEN HALLELUJA!!!!!!,!^-*+&'KYXL

God bless ya all and stay blessed my readers.

[justafairytailofinnocence]

Hii hope all is well 💜. Can I please request Jack Sparrow being in love headcanon? Thanks if approved! 😊

Hello dear 💖, thanks for your request.

Jack sparrow being in love 😍

This wasn't planned, nor thought out in any sense of emotions.

Jack being in love was something rare.

Sparrow had his ways with women. A corsair of the buccaneers, a Casanova of the seven seas.

Jack had many admirers and lovers; angelica, giselle, and scarlett, esmerelda, even Tia Dalma at one point.

Jack avoided you, and he deceived you. He didn't want to believe he was in love, such a cliche thing, really. A pirate falling for a woman/man/person and they live happily ever after on the pearl.

Jack sparrow hid in the most unusual places, even when you weren't expecting it.

Jack spent nights in tortuga ravishing himself with pretty wenches to take his mind off. But even then, when he came lip to lip with them, he didn't kiss them. Instead his mind thought of you.

He couldn't be in love, he didn't want to. He valued the freedom and the sea. He was committed to the sea and his ship.

Jack spent his days trying to figure out what his feelings were, why he valued you, or rather felt the "weird things" when you were around.

One night Master Gibbs was out with his bottle of rum "a yo ho ho, a pirate's life fo-".

"Psssst, Matser Gibbs" Jack whispered.

"Cap'n, be tha yer? Where ar' yer" Gibbs looked around the main deck.

Master Gibbs walked up to a bunch of cargo with a big barrell.

Gibbs looked inside the barrell to see Jack, hidden inside.

"Did they see me?" Jack's pupils turned left and right.

"What's wrong Jack, why ar' ya hidin', who ar' ya hiding from" Gibbs asked.

"Is it tha' kraken? As Jones spotted our ship, Gibbs looked worriedly.

"No mate, even worse than that," Jack stood up from the barrell.

"Her?/him?/them?" He whispered.

"Her?/him?/them?" Gibbs replied.

"The lass/lad/y/n," Jack muttered.

"The lass?/the lad?/y/n?" Gibbs questioned further.

Gibbs soon caught on to who Jack meant. "Ye mean, y/n, the landlubber."

"Ohhh, ar' they a spy from tha navy." Gibbs tried to realise,"I knew it, Jack, tha's why I said I didn't trust them from the moment they first docked."

"I've been having these," he gestures with his hands. "Things."

"Wha-what sort o' thins, ave' ye caught scurvy?" Gibbs still couldn't make sense of what Jack meant.

"You know, things, things that make you feel... funny," he couldn't make into words. How could he? It's not like Jack's ever felt this way before.

"So yer feel funny when ye see--ohhh Jack" Gibbs realised finally what was going on.

"Are ye, in love?" Gibbs smiled. "Aye I remember the first time I be tha way, and let me tell yer, she was a fine lass, one I couldn't forget".

"Turned out tha next mornin', I couldnt find er'-- or rather, she wasn't even human, Aye, Turned out ta be but a sack o' oranges" Gibbs rambled about his drunken tale.

Jack got out of the barrell and took Master Gibbs's rum and swung it down his gullet.

"Aye, I remembered that, bieleved that sack was named sally or martha, hm, also that night I do recall nearly losing a finger or two from that wager, was worth it though, got that map in the end" Jack explained.

"Aye, Is that how we ended up cursed" Gibbs leaned against the big oak railing of the main deck.

"The pearl's already cursed mate, I'm just the captain of it" Jack threw the rum over board.

"So whaddya gonna tell er/im/em then" Master Gibbs asked.

"I'll do em one better, ill set them off at some fancy port and they can tell their friends of how a devlelish, delightful captain Jack Sparrow saved them from the clutches of a bunch of rutheless scoundrels" Jack agreed.

"Now that sounds like a tale to behold, don't it?" Jack smiled.

"Jack, ye can't just abandon tha poor thing" Gibbs sympathised.

"Ye did that already--on an island" Gibbs recalled.

"Jack" a woman/man/person called from the distance.

Jack gestured with his hands for Gibbs to move.

"You never saw me, savvy?" Jack scurried away.

Jack would be like this for a while but eventually you would confront him about why he was acting strang-er.

Jack would come clean and admit "the world's a funny place innit darlin, things I can't explain between you and I, happens from me always wondering about you, wondering in Tortuga, wondering when I drink rum, wondering about these...things". He continued with a smile, "Things for you mate".

"Hm, does sound a bit cliche to say 'I love you' don't it" Jack places his first finger on his chin.

Jack leaned toward you "Hmmm, how about rather, your enduring, I can't figure out why I'm besotted to you"

"Suppose it ain't gonna sound cliche to say--" he admitted. "I loved you mate, I always have, I always will".

You blushed with astonishment. You had no idea yet it made sense for Jack's behaviour recently.

You could kiss him, and that would be that. You could marry him, and that's the end of your love story. You could sail with him, entailing the fantasy of many countless women, men, or anyone with pirates--or--rather.

You chose to endure the freedom as Jack did, being two souls that understood each other when no one else did.

A rather more passionate romance then the tales of Will and Elizabeth.

Jack was no fool when he was in love. A legendary captain like him would grant you protection.

Though for Jack, would it truly be the end? No, of course not, it only means another chapter is written in the tales of the captain.

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta ✨️

[phasewashere]

dutch van der linde thoughts and feelings and the human condition,,,

like. i think that dutch being a good guy who is capable of compassion and kindness can like. coexist with his skewed view of the world and his place in it. hes just as capable of saving and cradling those less fortunate than him as much as he is at using them for his own gain.

and like. the facade to me. is more in his psyche than anything else

its a mask of strength and intelligence for his own sake

and his relationship with molly is meant to show you how negligent and mean he can get. it also shows you that hes insecure and lashes out whenever somebody tries to help him

he doesnt like being wrong or being ridiculed in any sense because it reflects back on what i think he feels he is at his core. a nobody. a two bit outlaw. and when thats pointed out he gets defensive

i want to be able to explain that yes. he wants to help people and he wants a better world but that wanting has become twisted over the years and now that hes backed into a corner that thought becomes second place (and micah encourages this) and hes willing to throw people under the bus

he thinks everyones out to get him and that he can only trust himself

i also think that stems from the fact that hes so scared of everyone leaving him or everything going wrong that hes come to the conclusion that nobodies really sticking around for him

and i think this can also exist at the same time as his moment of narcissim cus. thats how mood swings and especially bpd (whether or not he has it) is like. part of him being all over the place is because of this

he can be a kind man while also being a hypocrite of all sorts. the human condition allows this

his words and his actions do not always match up for good and for bad

and i think thats like. the core of it all is that hes meant to show a part of the human condition which allows for so many possibilities and shows how these choices can go beyond what you think or what you feel. dutch was going to get backed into a corner no matter what happened. but he jumped the gun and assumed (in actions rather than words) that he was already doomed and acted accordingly. throwing people under th bus and assuming that he had been duped

he was so caught up in looking for the problem he couldnt see it righth in front of him

because by his perception why would someone manipulating him be kind to him?? why would they encourage him and soothe his fears and inflate his ego?

also him and molyy are such like. a good relationship. writing wise. obviously in game they are terrible for one another but

molly and dutch are similiar to me. in a psychological way. they are easily consumed by the idea of love and being wanted but. molly isnt a conman or a killer like dutch is. and i feel like molly doesnt hide behind the mask as much as dutch does. i think its still there for her. but to a lesser extent. mollys kind and caring nature always struck me as being given much more freely than dutch's. and in such a way it feels more genuine. whereas dutch has the intention but must make it flowery and grand even though hes capable of the smaller goods

ansd the tragedy of the both of them is that all molly wanted to do was help him

she loved him. i dont think dutch loved her the same. dutchs love was quick and dependent completely on how he felt at the moment. dutchs mode was survival and her comfort or him caring for her wasnt top of his priority. i dont think he loved her in the way molly loved him

molly thought she had found true love in him. dutch wanted someone to woo. someone to care about him for the brief amount of time. it was fleeting. and conditional

also dutchs whole deal with the wapiti tribe is the real killer for him morally. the whole point of helping them was to prove a point. and not for the tribes benefit but for himself

sure it was a "distraction" but he gave no plan for it afterwards. he wanted the rush of it. he was hurt and scared and therefore angry. he recognized eagle flies righteous anger and eagerly encouraged him into a death trap and when eagle flies dies. he backtracks. says that it was all according to plan. at that point he's grasping at strings. he's chewing off his own leg to escape the trap and that leg is all he is as a person

he's casting off the ideals and the dreams because he has convinced himself they are obsolete. he has nothing left to lose and to him nobody wants him anymore. and he's violently bitter about it. the way hes so shocked that micah was duping him. the vulnerability of his ignorance in that moment. the realization of his failure in that moment was destroying for him. he did all that for nothing. threw away everything he had known and tied himself into a knot trying to escape the trap he was led into. and then he was forced to reckon with the only leg he has left and the fact that he's bleeding out

but even more fascinating is how adamant he is that he was betrayed. admitting to his failure is too much for him. it would make everything they ever said about him true and he can't handle that. but also the way he runs back to micah for revenge. he cannot let go no matter what. he drags the trap along with him in a spiral of bitterness that quite literally lasts until his dying day

he kills micah for himself. to soothe the failure of killing his son

and then he goes on to create a new gang. with the people he admires. people who are full of righteous anger. it feels as if he's attempting to relive his life through all of this. this time he's not going to fail. this time he won't take any chances

dutch's greatest malady is that he cannot let go. but he also cannot look

he cannot obtain his redemption because he can't face down nor let go of what he's done

he's stuck in limbo fighting for the sake of figthing

he says it himself. all he's ever done is fight and he continues to no matter what. in the littlest of ways like snapping at the hand that wants to help him to killing men by the droves to slay the unseen enemy thats in his mind

it all circles back to the vicious cycle that red dead redemption is meant to be

it's meant to be a cautionary tale. and dutch is the prime example. he doesn't want to look at he what he's done but nonetheless cannot let go

even if he never wanted to continue the cycle he continues it anyways through never facing it

and he would rather throw himself from a cliff rather than seeing it. dutch was tired of fighting. but he never stopped running

[abimee]

was trying to write a post but it just wasnt coming out how i liked it or conveying what i was thinking about the jist of it was that i was thinking about how i used my art as my only tool in isolation to think about things that people tried to teach me was ''wrong'' like being trans or having acne but of which i never understood why it was ''wrong'' as a kid, so i ran off to my secluded corner to draw up what i was thinking about and how i really struggled wanting to show what i was seeing because there was no tutorial or online tips or refferences on how to do things, i didnt have any icons i was looking up to because they were isolated and hidden from me for the exact same reason, so for a long time my art felt like it was me trying to ''call out'' into the darkness to an idea i could just barely see on the horizon but couldnt get to through the murky depths of isolation and being told that art has to be a certain way and people need to look a certain way in it

to finally getting to a point where i seemingly managed to grasp that idea and shine a light onto it and have the depths disappear and everyones voices fade out until all i could see was the image clear in my head, and i was able to draw what i wanted because i finally ''understood it'' --- and this is about a lot of things in my art, like discovering i was trans or letting go of my fear of having self harm scars or acne scars or gaining weight, or even just random bullshit like having red cheeks or crooked teeth or weird looking knees. like i grew up rooted in so much self hatred and around people who were so mean and judgemental and i felt like i couldnt even fit myself into the little box of expectation placed before me and my friends that even when i ran away to my art i felt like i was trapped by the will of the world around me with nowhere to go and no way to communicate my sadness, because above all else i really do think all i wanted when i was younger was for people to be happy and to be happy myself, but i felt like i was being strangled by the thoughts and ideals of those around me to even the smallest degree, like a passing judgemental remark about someones self harm scars or crooked teeth

so now that i can draw that and communicate a positive love for people, that everyone is amazing and that nobody is ''wrong'', that love ive had since i was a kid for the world around me and everyone i met, it feels really good!! i cannot explain how much it means to me that people let me draw this way and respond psoitively to it and are moved by it because it feels like ive been locked in a box all my life not knowing what to do or what i was thinking about, and someone finally opened up the box and let me out and showed me what it all means. does that make sense? i feel like my art was a gateway to recognizing my own identity and who i am and to tell me that its not Wrong to be a certain way, that the people i was raised around were not telling the truth, that i wasnt a failure or doing something wrong when my teeth yellowed beyond my control or acne started showing up on my skin, that it wasnt wrong to have mobility aids or be suicidal or gain weight

like when i look back at my old art i see younger me who was struggling with a lot and just wanting to understand what it all meant, and as i grew up and put my art out there i was shown that the world wasnt a mean and cruel place, that it didnt have to be, and it really allowed me to open up and draw more. this post makes about as much sense as my draft but i just wanted to say all of this to say THANK YOU to everyone who has supported me because it really does mean more than you will ever know in so many ways!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if youve been here for a while you may have even seen how much happier i am now and how my art has developed as i got happier and its all because i know now that the world doesnt have to be cruel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you !!!!!! (^ old art i drew as a 15 year old as a thsank you)

[mihotose]

104 mirapa radio!! (103)

its the prep room now since they're preparing for the public recording in summer! also rinchan is here now

rinchan says shes been calling them "kanchan" and "konachan" lately. kankan says the cast has been trying to call her "kankan" since they normally call her "kanchan" and konachi says the same for nonsuke too, instead of "chuke" (but whines "nonsuke" isnt cute...)

rinchan is "rinchan" to both kankan and konachi, and konachi explains again if shes "rinrin" alongside "kankan" mirapa will sound like ueno zoo! kankan says "rinrin" makes her happy and konachi yells at her

rinchan says shes decided to have both options and konachi's immediately like "ok rinchan then" so kankan decided to use "rinrin" for balance. rinrin 🤝 kankan

kankan tells rinchan konachi has banned polite speech on this show. rinchan says she does normally use polite speech but shes realised she speaks casually online like while gaming but its weird irl. konachi tells her to try casual speech from now on

rinchan describes hime as "a cute but downer mirapa otaku gamer girl with a sweet tooth." kankan and konachi are surprised her answer was so good before realising she probably just figured it out beforehand

rinchan feels shes really connected to hime since theyre both fast eaters (kankan: me too...! 🥺) and talks about how when she and the other 104 cast go out for dinner together shes finished her main by the time the others have finished their soup. konachi then talks about how surprised she was when she saw how quickly kankan eats

[kankan and rinrin bonding over being fast eaters] konachi: i dont get this at all

konachi says one time kankan tried to pace herself against chuke since shes a slow eater ("she has a small mouth. cute!") but she couldnt resist

konachi says hime probably likes sweets that dont mess up her hands while gaming and eats fast probably so she can get Back to gaming

rinchan says the point she and hime are most similar is gaming. though she's also a massive sweet tooth as well (kankan: wow! im feeling such a connection!! konachi: between her and hime?? kankan: no me and her)

kankan and rinrin say their favourite sweet at the same time to see if they match. kankan's is mont blanc and rinrin's is nutella (konachi: wait im obsessed with nutella!!! rinrin: a connection... kankan: hey wait)

for the record konachi also likes mont blanc and kankan also likes nutella lol ... she actually likes yanyan tsukebou more than nutella...

konachi: i have this big jar of nutella rinchan: i eat it with a spoon konachi: um..

rinchan also eats honey with a spoon for her throat

rinchan says shes surprisingly outdoorsy and kankan and konachi immediately dont believe it. she says she doesnt really go to the mountains but she does like cycling. she goes to the beach and collects shells and has made a lamp out of seaglass. she's outdoorsy. (kankan: maybe outdoorsy level 1... konachi: idk i just dont see it your image is too strong)

rinrin: i really do have an indoors image... kankan: you're always gaming! whenever i get a discord notification its you gaming again!

rinchan says konachi joins to watch and leaves after a while [another discord server argument]

rinchan has no sense of direction and will get lost in places shes been before and still doesnt know where to get off the train to get to their dance practice studio. if she goes to the toilet in a mall or train station she wont remember where she came from

rinchan says when she teases the 104 cast by the time they react shes disappeared. "isnt konachan the same?" konachi: its not that rinchan can't hear she just isn't listening anymore. me, i got bored

"i cant multitask" "oh, same as kankan"

konachi's personal question for her: who's your hasunosora oshi!

"oh no. obviously i love everyone but i love mirakura park!" (annoyed kankan noises) (threats of mirapa divorce) "i have equal number of goods for each of you! honestly! um... help...!"

kankan says she saw her rinkura profile the other day and ruri was her home screen but rinrin counters by saying she always has a megu keychain on her bag. and on her pc desk she has a nesoberi of each!

kankan and konachi at the same time: And Which Does Your Heart Prefer rinchan: oh man im sweating. i. have two oshi.

kankan and konachi ask for her Saioshi so she asks who their 104 oshi is and when they cant pick one they move on to the next question lol

kankan's personal question for her: what's your favourite hasu song!

"uh.! when i first heard it i fell in love with on your mark but now its ishin denshin"

seeing their performance of on your mark made her want to audition so she could sing it but now shes passed it and joined mirapa shes listening to all of their songs and loves ishin denshin, especially the part at the beginning where they sing individually

rinchan describes hiichan as very serious and nervous when she doesnt have a script and fuuchan as very pure whos always smiling and has high tension. she lightens the atmosphere and shes just like kosuzu irl

rinchan points out sayaka-senpai's half twin tails in harukaze buranko and konachi says its megu-chan respect. kaho-chan is ruri-chan respect as well

they say miracreation is a song that could only be sung by the three of them, 104 mirapa

kankan says ladybug is already in the top ranks for her

they ask how it was singing on your mark since she had wanted to and she said it was difficult trying to connect hime with coolness but she got it eventually

rinchan talks about the pressure of being responsible for the songs of their senpai and the senpai that came before them and how she was nervous to sing parts of songs that used to be a senpai's part

this has been the first time theyve been able to talk longform since theyre normally doing afureco or practice when together so this was fun

kankan says she'll join voice chat next time and the other two say she always says that lmao. rinchan waits every day for her to come until its 2am! (kankan and konachi: because you game every day!)

since its golden week now they discuss what theyd do if they had a ten day break. konachi says she'd go to hokkaido or sendai, with kankan agreeing on sendai

rinchan says she'd go abroad, and asks if theyre afraid of flying. konachi immediately says kankan is, who explains she doesn't like takeoff or landing, and she can't sleep without something from home, so she brings her own towel or something to hold onto

kankan asks where overseas and konachi immediately says switzerland since its so beautiful and the food looks good. rinchan and konachi talk about how theyve seen switzerland on instagram and tiktok and think it looke amazing, from the mountains to the beaches to the buildings

kankan's like how do you two know so much about switzerland???

they decide theyd like to go to switzerland together but they need to get passports lol

the next corner is them presenting their ideas for the public recording, and they have to vote on whether its a good idea or not. kankan says she has five ideas she definitely won't give up on

they do a practice idea from the preparation committee first: "everyone in the venue does a supplementary lesson and a following test and if anyone gets a question wrong the event ends." obviously everyone says 👎

kankan asks rinchan how she does with studying and she says she often learns words incorrectly. and clarifies specifically japanese. she's good at english. konachi immediately says she isnt sure if that english counts if she just learned it from games lmao. rinchan says she's got a grade 2 eiken english qualification (approx A2/B1)!! and kankan says she's only got a grade 3 (A1) herself...

the next practice idea is recreating a natsumatsuri on the stage with stalls and a unit shooting competition (not like it will come across over the radio). konachi screams while rinchan reads it out and obviously they all say 👍

kankan says she wants to make cotton candy and goes wait isn't that ceribou [sugar melt mention]. she decides dollche reminds her of water so they can have water yoyos and so mirapa can have target shooting

kankan's first idea is they have chowchows on stage with them. konachi says 👎 but rinrin says 👍. they ask what the chowchows will do and rinchan asks if they'll have "abilities" (english) which kankan doesn't understand (she means tricks). rinchan also suggests putting mics up to them so they can hear them breathing so they decide on chowchow asmr

kankan starts saying something about the nine of them at rehearsals when konachi interrupts to say when the nine of them are together kankan looks like shes one of the first years. like, until now theyve been doing things as the 103 club, so she gets why theyre not that mixed yet, but there'll be infinity seats and kankan will be sitting with the first years lmao. itll be the second years and third years together and then "rinchan kanchan hii fuu"

anyway. kanchan lost her airpods and rinchan told her about an app that plays a noise so you can find them again and they were in rinchan's bag somehow [idk why they brought this up after talking about chowchows]

rinchan's first idea: hasunosora song intros quiz. 👍 Immediately no questions asked

konachi's first idea: wearing their character's casual outfits. 👍 immediately as well. she explains that theyre always in their school uniforms or a live outfit but since the event is during the summer holidays itd be nice to wear regular clothes. kankan adds she wants a three person mirapa outfit or a radio tshirt and konachi says yukata would nice too!

kankan's idea: hairstyle swap. konachi immediately makes fun of her for trying to get out of ruri's twintails. kankan complains konachi always makes fun of ruri's flowers. the others try and tell her she looks cute and she's the only one who suits them but they end up deciding rinchan should have them

kankan starts laughing that if uisama is sitting next to her she'd have to wear them and they laugh about nassu or hiichan in them as well

konachi suggests if they get a radio tshirt they'd design it themselves but rinchan says she can't draw. they say "isnt your writing really cute though?" and shes like "its really not" and they're like um..

konachi starts laughing and says her dad asked if ruri's autograph is messy on purpose, does she know who designed it? and she said it's because kankan wrote it lmao

kankan: its all my fault

she explains that when she feels like ruri she can't write slowly, and her family and friends and lots of others asked her "is rurino's autograph going to be like that forever?"

so it turns out she mixed up her Ls and Rs and written Lurino. so she corrected it by crossing out the L and writing an R next to it but staff thought it was a mistake so edited it to Rurino

she thinks its funny though and i think has recently asked them to use the non edited version from now on? [i think there's goods with the L crossed out and replaced with an R and a version that just says Rurino]

kankan says shes looking forward to hime's autograph (it was included in 104 doribiri already) and then asks to see rinchan's own autograph. konachi calls it a bird and rinchan corrects her to say its a penguin

konachi says its eyebrows are ugly and she explains it didnt originally have eyebrows but someone told her itd be cute so she added them and they were ugly but people told her they liked them so she keeps doing them (kankan: they're cute! [konachi silence of disapproval])

kankan says she wants rinchan to give her a tarot reading! she says in the 4/4 with×meets ruri talked about seeing a girl on the bus doing magic tricks and everyone got so excited hoping she'd be a new club member but it didn't happen lol (konachi scolds everyone for thinking a magician would go to an arts school like hasunosora lmao)

rinchan talks about mentioning she can read tarot and all of the senpai surrounded her lol

kankan also wants the three of them be DJs like in ishin denshin

after they play miracreation they talk about how fun itll be to perform live

kankan brings up at the end of the episode that she really wants chowchows at the recording lol

rinchan says if they arent allowed to do tarot readings she'll do it for them in the dressing room. konachi asks kankan what she wants reading and she says mirapa's future. when they ask what theyll do if she gets a bad reading so she changes it to her own future

they get a letter asking them to introduce themselves as kankan rinrin konakona and konachi protests but the others get her to try it once. so they redo the intro but kankan initiates it like unexpectedly genki which throws the others off so they ask to try again. konachi whines they said Once but they do it properly and she immediately says she doesnt like it lol

as the episode was released on kodomo no hi they talk about their childhoods. kankan says she was a serious kid to which konachi immediately asks for proof. kankan says she studied a lot and konachi asks if she's lying lol

konachi was a really shy kid (shyer than she is now) who couldnt talk to adults

hiichan introduces herself and kankan immediately goes "cerise bouquet are so unfair"

its hiichan's first ever radio appearance which she's been looking forward to. she also said brings up the special rule (no formal language) and says itll be hard since she isn't used to it but she'll do her best!

for her words of enthusiasm for this episode she talks about how she hasn't been able to talk about herself or interact with mirapa-san often since they normally do practice in units, so she really wants to talk a lot with them! (struggling to use casual speech)

a letter calls hiichan "hinahina" and its the first time she's ever been called that (konachi thinks this name is cute which makes rinrin and kankan complain lol)

mirapa say hiichan is very "ceribou" which she doesn't accept or deny but is happy about

kankan brings up that at hasu 2nd chiba hiichan asked if she'd like her to call her "kanna" and hiichan's like "i heard you might want to be called kanna" and konachi's like "who did you hear that from"

kanna-chan says girls who support her often call her "kanna-chan" so she feels like that name is exclusive to girls w

hiichan describes ginko as a yamato nadeshiko from kanazawa who loves tradition and she hopes she makes one hundred friends

she explains ginko mostly has friends of her grandparents' age and so it would be nice for her to make friends of her own for the first time at hasunosora. hiichan added her own personal wish for ginko to her description

rinchan says she loves ginko's interactions with kaho and konachi talks about how the sukisuki club all got interested in that last sentence of ginko's profile when it was released, "she struggles being honest with kaho"

hiichan says she thinks she and ginko are similar in how they think. theyre both only children so often do things by themselves. she really sympathised with one of ginko's lines about spending holidays alone

hiichan describes herself as someone who wants to do things properly. her hobby is doing relaxing things and her special skill is not getting lost

she says that things often go well, so people see her as 80% reliable, but the other 20% she is very nervous, like the MCs at lives, but the others are surprised and tell her they didn't even notice

kankan and konachi laugh at hiichan saying she doesn't get lost with zero hesitation. hiichan says that her classmates, especially rin, but fuuchan as well (kankan and konachi say she seems the type lol) get lost a lot, such as the first time they were at the studio, they were trying to get back to a room and they walked in opposite directions

rinchan's like "you have a good memory, hina" and konachi's like "maybe yours is just bad"

kankan tries to defend(?) rinrin by saying its not like shes stupid she just has a memory that forgets where she's going after three steps. she's probably missing something in her head (somehow not helpful)

kankan asks about the "idol appreciation" on hiichan's profile. hiichan says when she was in her first year of high school she had a came across a female idol group by chance and fell in love with one of the members at first sight and has been going to lives and supporting them ever since

rinchan says hiichan is always saying how cute she is and showing her pictures of her w

hiichan says her bangs obsession probably came from her love of idols. ever since she was a kid she'd watch idol mvs and copy them, and high school was when she started going see them and getting into oshikatsu. she took night buses from ishikawa to tokyo so she could buy goods and line up to meet them early in the morning

konachi switches topic to talk about how early hiichan wakes up/goes to sleep, as in her goodnight tweets are at like 10pm. konachi can't believe someone sleeps that early

hiichan says she doesn't understand how twitter works lmao. so she'll tweet goodnight and then stay up. she didn't know people would see her 2am retweets. on days she has work in the morning she'll wake up and post her good morning tweet within ten minutes, but on days off she'll set an alarm to wake her up to post and once she's done it she'll go back to sleep lol

hiichan says she sees tweeting good morning as an achievement and konachi tells her she should since she would never wake up just to tweet lmao

konachi compliments hiichan for tweeting useful information about the stamp rally and mirapa all wish hiichan could give them a tour around kanazawa on sehasu

rinchan's personal question for hiichan: what's your favourite thing about mirakura park!

hiichan says she loves how cute they are and their unique voices!

she says all the units have their own colour, but for mirapa-san, even when they're singing together you can pick out each of their (kankan, rinrin, konakona) voices. they don't interfere with each other but they are all part of one "mirapa"

mirapa thank her and say its the same for ceribou. hiichan's voice is like between kaho and kozue's, and its so clear

konachi says hiichan's voice is like a watercolour (suisai) while mirapa's are oil based (yusei) (kankan: we're yusei sekai)

kankan has two questions she wants to ask but konachi tells her to ask if hiichan has any kanazawa facts people don't know

hiichan says telephone poles around higashichaya and kenrokuen are buried underground so as to avoid disturbing the scenery which they find really cool

rinchan says hina told her about the small sprinklers ishikawa has in the road for melting snow to allow for vehicles since hokuriku is very snowy

hiichan says in high school she would hang out in kouribou, downtown from kanazawa station, where ruri-chan and megu-chan were in a card [petite pâtissière]. she'd go shopping or go to starbucks there like megu-chan. its a popular place for high school girls

kankan also asks hiichan her favourite hasu song and she answers reflection in the mirror!

obviously people know now that its an important song to ginko, but hiichan herself had listened to it a lot before it had been decided she had been cast as ginko. as reflection in the mirror is a song about encouraging someone when you're with them, she imagined it as ginko-chan encouraging her and pulling her along by the hand, so she was so happy when she found out its an important song to ginko as well (kankan: its like fate...)

mirapa compliment 104 reflection in the mirror and say they couldnt dance to it like ceribou did

konachi's personal question is who her oshi is besides ginko lol

hiichan says not including the senpai, it would be hime-chan! but she has two senpai in ceribou and she loves them both

of course she loves kosuzu and ginko, but she loves hime's uniqueness and her way of speaking, and her in game system voices are so cute she has to bite the inside of her cheek so she won't smile while listening to her

rinchan says hiichan is someone who laughs a lot, before referencing the afureco they did earlier. something about how much ruri changes her speaking mannerisms but this time her word choices were especially odd and "tokyo". kankan says she's been weird ever since she became a senpai. so rinchan said at that session hina was laughing a lot and konachi says she didnt know there were people who laughed that much while recording

konachi says the others have a really high tolerance but there are times she and kankan laugh a lot too. at the moment theyre obsessed with making jokes about petite pâtissière ruri's "hoi cake!" line and they literally open the game to listen to it

kankan has to explain it means like "here, have some cake!" but since its a skill activation line it has to be quite short so she said it really fast and it turned out funny. its what they say in the mornings instead of good morning lmao

hiichan says she loves the way the three of their voices blend together in aoku haruka. she was worried as to whether she could blend in with them at first but once she heard it she thought she managed it

mirapa say aoku haruka feels like the beginning of summer, like a school playing field, like youth. kankan says it feels like cerise bouquet with a new wind. konachi says ginko's colour really suits cerise bouquet

they introduce themselves as kankan rinrin and konakona right from the beginning but you can feel konachi's regret right after she said it lmao

afterwards they reveal that was their Second take. konachi messed up even earlier in that one

its been one month since 104 were announced! rinchan says their lives have changed. for example, hina has an alarm in the mornings now

rinchan says she's become more conscious but the others say she was from the start, shes such a pro. even yumi-sensei calls her a pro (rinchan told her not to but she kept doing it)

hiichan shouts SUGGESTION BOX over kankan and konachi and they scold her for it

hiichan starts reading a letter and says she thinks she should read it with energy like mirapa. the others laugh when she reads sentences with exclamation marks

they all say how cute ginko is in her kimono and hiichan says she wants ginko to know how cute she is

kankan says she wears kimono fairly often while rinchan says she hasn't besides her coming of age day. hiichan says her mom dressed her in her yukata for coming of age

kankan says hasu has a lot of cast with traditional japanese backgrounds [kankan does tea ceremonies, konachi does japanese dance, uisama does flower arranging]

hiichan enjoys going to teahouses as well. she likes black coffee, and says she gets anxious if she doesn't have one in her bag. its like flipping a switch before work lol

hiichan says japanese dance is cool. konachi asks if she's done it before and she says she's done a lot of dance but not japanese. she's going to dance lessons to learn how to dance like ginko

when hiichan was in elementary school, she did hiphop kids dancing. she did that the longest, but then she also did a bit of jazz, show dance, and ballet in middle school. but of course uisama is the one who properly did ballet

hiichan says both hime and rinchan are mirapa otaku, and what made her realise this was during rehearsals for hasu 2nd, the 104 cast were observing their senpai to study from them. konachi/megu-chan waved or something, and they each thought she was waving at them. but later rinchan showed hiichan a message from konachi in the mirapa discord confirming it was meant for rinchan. a few days later hiichan was talking about it with kanchan who said rinchan had responded to konachi's message extremely happy and thanking her for the fansa (konachi: it was like seven lines of messages)

kankan reads out rinchan's message and its like "thank you so much for the fansa!!! was it really for me!?!?!? you're absolutely the best. you're the best oshi in the whole world. i love you. please take good care of yourself and make it to the end of the tour well" with lots of crying and laughing emojis lol

hiichan said kankan was like "im really glad she's getting into the role of tsumayouji-chan" and hiichan was like "i dont think she is." kankan is like "i thought she was just taking it really seriously!!"

rinchan says that as 104 she loves her senpai, but itd be annoying if she brought it up too much. even when theyre together she doesn't tell them when they're being cute, so she let it all out at that moment

they talk about how loud fuuchan is lol. konachi says she's surprised she hasn't hurt her throat from shouting, and that she thinks she's probably even louder than kanchan. kanchan's voice carries but fuuchan's voice is just loud. (kankan: its like her voice comes from her stomach). hiichan says its surprising how energetic and loud she is early in the morning

when hiichan first went to the studio for afureco it was the six senpai plus herself in the booth. she was really nervous and hadn't really spoken to the senpai much yet, but it was fun recording the back and forths with kaho-senpai. kankan adds that ginko's exchanges with kaho are similar to the ones kaho had with sayaka way back at the beginning

a letter calls hiichan "hinahina" and hiichan confusedly whispering "hinahina...?" really reminded me of ginko

104 dream believers/on your mark/eien no euphoria were the first things 104 recorded, and although she didn't really know what kind of character she was yet, hiichan sang it with the image of ginko being "slender" in mind. rinchan says there was a sense of nerves about singing parts that their senpai had sung

kankan and konachi compliment the first years on all being such good singers, and konachi says the gap between fuuchan and kachimachi is amazing

hiichan recommends kenrokuen if you're going to kanazawa. its the garden of kanazawa castle, with lush plants and ponds, and you can really feel nature no matter the season and no matter how many times you go. kankan wants to visit in winter and konachi wants to visit in autumn

hiichan recommends you try the seafood in kanazawa! konachi also recommends the soft serve ice cream. kankan says she wants to go to kanazawa as nine

they get letters about ginko's kanazawa-ben, and hiichan says while working she speaks in standard japanese, but she thinks ginko-chan using kanazawa-ben is really cute. when she's with the hasu cast if she looks at their faces she'll slip into kanazawa-ben. she thinks she slips into it naturally when talking to the other first years

hiichan also teaches the others some kanazawa-ben. kankan says i love you and then rinchan tries to end the mail corner without doing it herself so kankan gets mad at her and konachi threatens to clip the sound again and send it to the nine member group chat lol

somehow konachi and rinchan turn it on kankan by doing theirs confidently and calling her cute for being so embarrassed so they get her to do it Again without the embarrassment

they play rinchan's oshi song, (104) on your mark, and she says once she heard the complete version she felt she had properly joined. hiichan sings the opening lines, which used to be sayaka-senpai's part which she loves, so she was especially enthusiastic. after they recorded on your mark they had worked so hard they were exhausted and "had the face of a warrior"

point of interest in the seiran no koi nagashi cards: hime's dream believers and dododo nesos. kankan likes the shoes. hiichan points out these outfits are modifications of kunpuu no shirabe from last year. konachi says tired kaho in ginko's card is really cute. kachimachi's twin tails are cute. sayaka's cooking ponytail. kachimachi's ribbons like sayaka's. the same apron in a different colour. rinchan calls kosuzu sayaka's daughter. konachi says dollche's family feel is great

hiichan wants to play shiritori at the mirapa radio public recording. she's good at drawing chicks but she's still practising drawing people. fuuchan is good at drawing so she might ask to teach her

they once again introduce themselves as kankan rinrin and konakona :3

its fuuchan's first time speaking to so many people on a radio, so kankan tells her she should ask rinrin for advice since shes a pro and rinrin's like "fuuchan will be ok!" since fuuchan is a leader who pulls everyone forward (according to the mbti quiz she's an enfp)

they read letters reminding "fuufuu" to use casual language and rinchan says it was fuuchan who started using casual language after they met first and fuuchan says she wanted them to be friends

mirapa ask if fuuchan's ready for the dododo q&a so she says she's been practising and theyre all like as expected of a leader!

fuuchan describes kosuzu as "a super genki but self deprecating full speed challenge girl." she expands by saying although she deprecates herself, she puts a positive spin on it, and its something she really respects about her. mirapa all compliment kosuzu's ability to pick herself back up and try again

rinchan says she was wondering how kosuzu's self deprecation would coexist with her brightness and says fuuchan has made her really charming

konachi says she likes kosuzu in dollchestra. of course everyone loves the two person dollchestra, but with her addition theyve become something new. "they're like parents with a child"

they all say she's really cute and want to look after/protect her. konachi especially likes how she calls herself kachimachi. kankan's first impression of her was she's taller than ruri w she had heard that a short girl would be joining so she was kind of excited but then she was still taller than ruri lol

fuuchan says lots of people have said they want to support kosuzu, so she'd like everyone to watch her closely as she undergoes new challenges and grows in the story

fuuchan says she's similar to kosuzu in how they hate to lose. and how she also says things like "this time was no good, but the next one..." and self deprecates, like she doesn't feel she's good at things. rinchan is aghast at this, saying fuuchan can do most things and she often feels she has to be next to her so she can absorb it. konachi says fuuchan has a lot of potential

fuuchan describes herself as "personality: indecisive, hobby: checking out new ramune, special skill: singing and long distance running"

konachi tells a story about the time she was going home with fuuchan (kanchan was also there) and fuuchan had a dentist appointment, which she wouldn't make in time unless she got a train that left five minutes later. konachi wondered why she'd book an appointment she couldn't make but. well, she hadn't seen someone run like that in a while (kankan adds it was a hot day as well). fuuchan says she ran all the way to the station and made it in time 👍

"i dont want to stop until i achieve my goal" konachi: is that what you call your dentist

they all compliment fuuchan on her singing. konachi really loves her long note near the end of sparkly spot, especially since its combined with the difficult dollche choreography

kankan says she wants to hear fuuchan's regular singing voice. she's heard 102 and 103's in voice training but she wants to hear 104's too (konachi suggests karaoke). fuuchan says kosuzu's voice is high but her own is lower

fuuchan only carries one type of ramune with her but she does have four other non ramune snacks in her bag. rinchan says one time she was super tired and fell asleep at her desk and when she woke up she had ramune in her hands. they talk about how fuuchan buys 1kg bags of ramune and gives some to kocchan ("i gave her some yesterday too") and kankan says she's like a mom before amending to like a leader

rinchan's personal question for fuuchan: the biggest challenge since she joined hasunosora?

fuuchan says growing her hair out and dancing

when they first met, her hair was barely down to her shoulders so mirapa congratulate her on growing her hair out so fast. fuuchan says she's worried about her first summer with hair this long

as for dance, she didnt really do much in school so this is her first time. her body is stiff but she's slowly been getting more flexible and she can touch the floor now

kankan's personal question: her favourite hasunosora song?

its tsubasa la liberté! on hasu 2nd day 1 the first years were watching the stream while waiting and when they saw tsubasa la liberté fuuchan had to hold back from crying. and when she was in the audience seats during rehearsals she cried for real. she really loves the outfits. she likes rain related songs so she loves tragic drops as well

kankan asks for her favourite songs from each unit. for ceribou its holiholi, mirapa identity, dollche (besides tragic drops) knot

konachi says she wants knot to be performed hundreds of times thats how much she loves it. she says nassu and kocchan have discussed it a lot so no matter how many times she sees it is always the best

konachi's personal question: hasunosora oshi?

fuuchan says yuugiri tsuzuri-senpai!

kankan says fuuchan's love of tsuzuri is well known within hasu. fuuchan loves her looks, and when she read the story she loved her vocabulary and way of speaking and her cute exchanges with sayaka-senpai, but when she performs shes so cool! that gap makes her her oshi!

they all talk about how good ladybug and its lyric video are. and how its dollchestra, but a new dollchestra, with a kosuzu like feeling

fuuchan recorded ladybug along with eien no euphoria, where she had to think how kosuzu would be in a group song instead of a unit song. it was difficult as in dollche songs she tries to sing with a cool feeling. but in the sense of kosuzu wanting to work hard to Sound cool

a letter asks fuuchan what she'd like to challenge herself with and she answers english and musical instruments. she loves going to theme parks so she wants to learn english so she can read what's on the signs and learn the lore. as for instruments she started learning drums and piano but she didnt get too into them

kankan's been interested in english recently. a friend of hers is kind of dumb (konachi: are you talking about yourself?) and has absolutely no sense of direction (konachi: kurusu rin?) but she works at a big company and speaks english since a lot of people there are from overseas and kankan thinks its super cool and wants to have a gap like that w

also (kankan apologises for talking about herself so much) she said in an earlier episode she has a grade 3 (approx A1) eiken english qualification but she realised she didnt do an interview so maybe its a grade 4 (only grades 3 and above do the interview) so she went home and asked her mom who told her she actually has a grade 5 (like elementary school level)...

actually, hayama has a grade 3... she did the nisshou business exam though which doesn't have an interview section. kankan says "then maybe i have a grade 3 too..." and fuuchan goes "you?" (they say she sounded like uisama lol)

kankan asks if there's anything the others want to challenge themselves with and rinrin says konachi seems like she could do anything and konachi says its not true if she can't do something she'll just give up lmao

she went to a guitar lesson once and quit after learning do re mi bc she didnt want to learn music theory she just wanted to learn how to play songs lol so she'd just look up the tab sheets online, mess up, quit, and repeat until around third year middle school to second year high school when she could play while reading the tab

they decide that if they were in a band konachi would be on guitar, rinrin on bass, fuuchan on vocals, so kankan on drums

kankan says she wants to perform with a live band and konachi adds liella had an acoustic live and kankan brings up aqours-san's orchestra lives too

they introduce themselves as kankan rinrin konakona with minimal hesitation on konachi's part :3

as its almost time to change into summer uniforms, they talk about their uniform memories. konachi and fuuchan had blazer uniforms. kankan had a blazer in high school but her elementary school uniform was a sailor fuku that looked like hasunosora's summer uniform. rinchan really likes coloured uniforms as her uniforms were all navy blazers

rinchan's school allowed both neckties and ribbons. konachi bought a necktie because she likes them and wore it even though it wasn't allowed. fuuchan allowed both technically but if there was a formal event they had to wear a necktie

rinchan says she loved the overture of the april fes×live

kankan says it was really emotional for the nine of them to perform at the same venue one year after the first four members did, personally and as ruri-chan as it was her first time along with the first years. konachi says it might be a tradition to perform there

fuuchan is grateful the tempo of sparkly spot slowed down lol. when she heard the 103 version it was so cool but also difficult and she didn't know how she'd do it. so it gives her a warm feeling that it seems the senpai arranged the songs to help them fit in

of course 103 identity probably had many changes itself, but rinchan and hime have only seen the 103 version so they have a really strong image of that version. so she hopes the 104 version can bring out a different charm and show the new mirakura park with the addition of hime's colours

they all say the choreography of 104 reflection in the mirror is really cool and fuuchan says they were all trying to copy it but its too hard

they also compliment dollche's ladybug outfits and then rinchan says kosuzu's bangs are cute and her eyebrows are cute when she's sad or angry

konachi says kachimachi's voice feels like you can't leave her behind and rinchan says you can really feel her effort in the song

fuuchan says before they recorded ladybug she studied her senpai's voices and realised theyre similar but different, and she was able to sing in a kosuzu like way

kankan says in a good way dollche has become even hotter

they get letters telling them about fukui's famous echizen crab which theyre jealous of

none of them have been to fukui, except fuuchan, but she didnt go to tsuruga, she went to shibumasa with her family (she didn't even eat crab)

kosuzu has a gao pose and loves big dinosaurs, and fuuchan says maybe she likes big animals because she's small. fuuchan wants to visit the dinosaur museum!

they get a letter about speaking in kansai-ben as fuuchan is from osaka and konachi reads it out like a yankii

kankan protests at this since they already did kanazawa-ben recently but konachi's like "this is a seiyuu radio." kankan's like "are you dumb" and konachi goes "that's meannn :(" so she apologises

kankan asks fuuchan for good points about osaka and konachi shouts over her to say the food is so good!!!!!! they just start shouting good osaka food (takoyaki, konamon, okonomiy- oh thats kyoto)

they all want to go to osaka and kankan wants to do the glico pose in front of glico (but konachi says no??)

fuuchan's osaka oshi point is everyone is cheerful which also makes you cheerful

konachi asks if fuu is so loud because shes from kansai and she says actually her mom listened to the last episode and told her she was loud. rinchan says kanchan is loud too and konachi says she's from "oo"ita ("oo"ita and "o"saka)

staff says since kansaijin are cheerful itd be perfect for mirapa to have an event in osaka and rinchan says she wants to go to universal studios there and kankan says she's never been

fuuchan speaks kansai-ben with 104

they get prompted to speak in kansai-ben again which konachi pushes onto kankan and fuuchan and fuuchan says she'll do it if kanchan does

fuuchan says she listened to what hiichan said in kanazawa-ben but doesn't think she'd use kansai-ben when confessing so she makes it thicker

she says "i like you" in kansai-ben while looking at rinchan so konachi says "you like her?" the other three also say it but kankan laughs during it and konachi's like "people like it when shes embarrassed. theyre gonna write 'kan kanna-san is so cute when she's embarrassed'"

rinchan says it was fun to do the "gaya" parts in eien no euphoria (the "yeah!" "lets go!" etc parts)

kankan likes the new line distribution and konachi says its like theyre passing them down. kankan says eien no euphoria always felt more of a school year song rather than a unit song and its only gotten stronger now

fuuchan really likes the 104 parts as it feels like theyve joined and are going to do their best

rinchan points out that you can see the hand of whoever took the photo of megu-chan's 365 days card and she really likes that

rinchan goes to food sample stores like the one tsuzuri is in in her 365 days card

konachi says its nice to see things other than their school idol activities

they also point out the 365 days outfits are difficult depending on unit like dream believers (dollche has long sleeves, mirapa has puffed sleeves, ceribou has frilled sleeves)

they all say how mature kaho looks in her BR and rinchan points out her bunny hair accessory. kankan says she wants all nine of their BRs

they get a letter saying they could get chowchows at the public recording if they had radio tshirts with designs from the dododo lyric video (such as a chowchow). plus hime-chan the mirapa otaku would definitely love a tshirt with a dododo motif!

kankan agrees with this, but the others (especially konachi) seem to want to design their own. kankan then asks if she can draw a chowchow on hers and konachi's like "hm... :/"

kankan really wants these chowchows lmao she says the others can draw rurihimemegu as well. or even the nine of them. since theyre good at drawing girls

konachi: what if we all draw our own girl? kankan: wait thats goo- uisama... (collective unsure noises)

fuuchan wants to play musical chairs at the public recording!!

mirapa say fuuchan has been a nice leader 👍

apparently fuuchan gives strange names to her toys. kankan wants her to tweet a photo of them

fuuchan: i have a seal plushie called ikameshi kankan: like isnt that weird? its a seal called squid (ika)? fuuchan: the ika doesnt mean squid! konachi: kanchan said that so confidently lol

fuuchan tries to explain where the name comes from but i dont get it and neither do mirapa so konachi goes ahead and ends the episode lol