#but when i say there's so much lore. i mean there is So Much Lore
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okay total aside, but a lot of leftists get really, really mad at me when i say that a fundamental part of any communist movement must be the elimination of the division of labour. they mock me with "what, do you want us all taking turns being doctors?"
no, you fucking morons. i want us to live in a society where medical knowledge isn't treated as secret unknowable lore that gatekeeps access to the care and resources we need to survive.
the reason we have so much bullshit medical psudeoscience is our society has a vested interest in making medical knowledge seem like impossible magic that only our greatest super-geniuses can hope to understand, but as both a trans person and a person who has helped a loved one with a chronic illness, getting care in these situations more often than not involved sitting down in front of a disinterested doctor and realizing with slow horror that we know more about our condition than they do, yet they decide what is best for us.
and if they notice you notice they're out of their depths, there's a good chance they will withhold care you need to punish you
the solution is the demystification and democratization of knowledge. yes, we have dedicated medical experts, because having specialists is important in realms of complex knowledge, but the death of the division of labour means the death of the idea that a field of human labour is the exclusive property of a caste of specialists.
it means exactly this; invite the community to be involved! teach those who are curious openly and eagerly so they don't go looking for answers from grifters! get everyone involved! treat medicine as a journey a community takes together, not a missive from on high. and that goes for everything. treat science this way, treat education this way, treat life and all the work we do to sustain it as a beautiful shared journey instead of capitalism's pay-as-you-go haunted house
Thread from Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez on her experience in a hospital in Cuba
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SSR Leona Kingscholar - Nightmare Suit Vignette
"What makes a qualified king"
[Halloween Town – Town Hall]
Leona: You want to hear more about the Halloween we celebrate back home? We've already come up with enough ideas for you.
Jack Skellington: Well, you guys have so many fresh ideas. I want you to teach me everything you know, without skipping a thing.
Epel: Without skipping a thing… Hmm, was there anything else?
Epel: Oh yeah, don't the people in this town wear any costumes for Halloween?
Jack Skellington: Costumes?
Epel: Yes! We dress up like mummies, werewolves, vampires and other sorts of monsters to scare people.
Riddle: When it comes to scaring… I don't think any of that would be any different for the residents here.
Epel: Oh, right… Hmmm, I'm sorry, I can't think of anything better.
Jack Skellington: No, you're fine. Basically, you're saying that you dress differently than you normally do, right? That also sounds interesting.
Jack Skellington: Might not be too bad to have big ears, a tail, sharp fangs and claws to become a werewolf.
Epel: Jack-san… a werewolf?
Leona: Kekek, I can see that making things even more confusing.
Leona: Regardless, it's much too early to be talking about next Halloween.
Jack Skellington: Too early? Not at all.
Jack Skellington: Once this year's Halloween is over, we only have 364 days until next Halloween.
Riddle: Indeed. I agree in that it may not be too early. Even this time, we are all working on a tight schedule…
Riddle: If you were to create a rough plan now, there'll be more time for preparations next year.
Leona: I get what you're saying. But there's no saying whether our Halloween will even be successful.
Leona: We haven't even finished the prep for this coming Halloween.
Leona: I think it'd be best for us to give our brains and bodies a rest to make sure we can even prepare everything properly.
Jack Skellington: Yeah, it's important to take breaks. But once this Halloween is over, you guys are going back to your own world, right?
Jack Skellington: And during the day, we're all so busy with preparations. I want to hear all your stories while I can.
Leona: Your eagerness to learn is astounding. If that's the case, then there's someone else who can help you better.
Leona: Hey, Idia.
Idia: Eeek!? D-Don't just pan the camera over to me… Why me, anyway…?
Leona: "Why"? Well, obviously because you're the Housewarden of the dorm Ignihyde, which adheres to the diligent spirit of the Lord of the Underworld.
Jack Skellington: The Lord of the Underworld? That sounds fascinating. Idia-kun, tell me more.
Idia: T-T-T-Tell you more? More what? I mean, s-sure, I know all his lore, but I don't want to give a presentation, or anything…!
Epel: Right, since Jack-san is the King of Halloween… That means he'd be considered the Lord of this town, right?
Leona: You can't judge someone just by their title. A king is only as good as what actions they take.
Leona: Although I'm pretty interested in what exactly the King of Halloween is expected to do, too.
Jack Skellington: What I do? Well, of course, that's to make Halloween as frightening as possible.
Idia: I-I mean, since you're the King of Halloween, you just gotta hype up Halloween, right? I guess…
Riddle: In order to make Halloween as frightening as possible, what exactly do you do?
Jack Skellington: Let me think. I'd drive a cart…
Epel: You drive…?
Jack Skellington: Or take walks in the cemetery with Zero…
Idia: And walk your dog…?
Jack Skellington: And I'll also read, or do experiments.
Riddle: Reading is one thing, but what sort of experiments does one need to do on Halloween…?
Jack Skellington: And finally… It's also my job to look over the townsfolk's proposals that the mayor has gathered.
Leona: Ah, there we go, finally something that sounds appropriate.
Leona: But you're telling me that the king goes through everyone's proposals personally? I bet there's a more efficient way to do it.
Jack Skellington: No, not at all. I need to take everyone's ideas and bring them together to make the best Halloween ever.
Jack Skellington: Wait, yeah, that's it. The king is someone who can bring everyone together.
Epel: I see. So, that's why you're the King of Halloween.
Idia: Ugh… There's no way I'd ever be able to bring everyone together like that…
Riddle: I cannot allow you to wallow like that. It is a Housewarden's job to keep the students together.
Leona: Hey, now, Riddle, don't bully the guy. That's way too much to ask of that gloomy kid.
Leona: But, huh, never expected bringing everyone together to be considered what makes a qualified king here. Guess it's much easier to decide a king here in this town than in other places.
[Halloween Town – Center]
Mayor: Now, now, everyone work quickly! We must hurry to finish making all the decorations!
Jack Skellington: Mayor! I've brought all the finished decorations.
Mayor: Oho, these have been made splendidly! I'll get these up on the gate now.
Leona: …I thought I'd take a break around here, but it looks like I should look somewhere else.
Leona: I'm exhausted from all the troubles I've had to deal with. I can just leave the rest of the preparations to the townsfolk… Hm?
Grim: OUTTA THE WAY, GET OUT OF MY WAAAY!
1. Grim, stop! 2. Someone please catch him!
[Mayor's face changes to sad]
Jack Skellington: Mayor, look out!
Mayor: AAAAAAAA HE'S GONNA CRASH RIGHT INTO MEEEEE!!!!
Mayor: H-Huh…? I'm not hurt…
Grim: MYAAAAAH! DON'T PICK ME UP BY MY SCRUFFFF!
Leona: Shut up, stop fussing. Geez, it's just one thing after another with you.
Leona: What did this furball do this time?
1. He ruined a bunch of the decorations…
Leona: So, that's the reason why he's got so many things stuck in his fur after running away without looking where he was going, huh. Leona: There's spider webs, bat wings, and… is this a fish bone? How many decorations did you destroy?
2. He snuck a bunch of the candy…
Leona: There's a lot of crumbs all over Grim's face. …I understand what happened. Leona: You got caught stuffing your face, and just ran away without looking where you were going, huh.
Grim: Humph! Blame the decorations for being in the way!!
Jack Skellington: …
Grim: How dare all these things stick to my beautiful fur… I'll throw off all these weird decorations!!
Grim: HEY, LEONA, LET GO OF ME ALREADY!! LET GO, LET GO, LET GOOOOO!
Jack Skellington: GRAAAAAAAAAH!!
Grim: Eeep!?
Grim: I-I was just joking! And now that my tummy's happy, I'll totally help with the prep now!
Jack Skellington: Then make sure you put the decorations back where they came from. And apologize to everyone you caused problems for.
Grim: Fine…
Jack Skellington: Good. Halloween is right around the corner, you know.
Grim: His bones streeeetched, and he had such sharp teeth just now… That version of Jack was super scary.
Leona: Hey, [Yuu]. Go see Trey and Jamil right now, and tell them everything that happened.
Leona: Since it's those guys, I'm sure they already planned for any sort of possible trouble, but…
Leona: If Grim really did eat so much he's full, then there's no way we'll have enough to eat.
Leona: After you talk to them, do whatever Trey and Jamil tell you to. Got it?
1. I understand. 2. Yessir, right away!
Grim: Gweh!? Hey, [Yuu], don't you grab me by my scruff too!
[Grim and Yuu leave]
Leona: What's left is… Those decorations, huh.
Mayor: That's right. We need to finish decorating the gate as quickly as we can. I'll call the closest people and...
Leona: Hey, now, you planning on having everyone stand in a line and take turns going up and down the ladder to set everything up, or something?
Leona: Just have someone call over the witches.
Leona: These are all light. If they carry them up on their brooms and put up the decorations, it'll be over in less than 30 minutes.
Mayor: Eeeh!? But I'm having the witches do a different task.
Leona: Then have someone else do whatever it is they're doing. Halloween is right around the corner, right?
Leona: Do you all even have time to be lax about all this?
Leona: Pretty sure now's the time you want to start thinking about who should do what to get everything done in the shortest amount of time possible.
Jack Skellington: Yeah, I think you're right, Leona-kun. If we're looking for someone to trade jobs with the witches… I think that guy over there should work.
Jack Skellington: We'll tell the witches to come to the town center and have them do this task.
Mayor: We're going with what Leona-kun says, hm… Then, can I ask you to help on a few other things?
Mayor: You see, we're actually facing delays on this task and that one…
Leona: Haah… I just wanted to rest for a bit.
Leona: But it'd be bad if I just let it be and Halloween is a big failure, since I won't be able to go back home.
Leona: Fine. I'll just do a little bit more work, then.
[Mayor's face changes to glad]
[Halloween Town – Center]
[rabble, rabble]
Halloween Town Resident A: Jack, we've finished with our tasks.
Halloween Town Resident B: We're done, too. Oh, and it sounds like there'll be enough candy made in time, too.
Jack Skellington: That's great! Thanks, everyone.
Leona: …Looks like we somehow made it. Now all we can do is hope Halloween goes off without a hitch.
???: For my part, I apologize for all the troubles I caused.
Leona: Yeah, seriously. You can't possibly imagine the amount of extra work I had to do all because of your tantrum.
Skully: However, ever since you took charge, Leona-san, it seems as though all preparations were completed smoothly.
Skully: Vil-san looked over all the completed delicate needlework, and Idia-san provided so much help with difficult calculations…
Skully: I heard you took everyone's strengths and thoughtfully allocated tasks accordingly.
Leona: I didn't do nothing "thoughtfully." I just gave them stuff I didn't want to do.
Skully: Oh, you are most humble. Yes, even Trey-san and Jamil-san were especially thankful for your consideration.
Skully: Because you see, they were lacking in sweets in a greater number than Jamil-san had initially thought.
Skully: He said, if you had not sent [Yuu]-san to inform them…
Skully: We would have been forced to have a desolate Halloween without candy.
Leona: Heh, well, sorry for makin' him work harder, then.
Skully: …You keep a good eye on everything around you. Not only did you look after your schoolmates, but also the townsfolk.
Skully: You were able to get everyone to work together, despite only having met them only a few days ago… Your skill is a sight to behold.
Jack Skellington: That's right!
Skully: Jack-sama!
Jack Skellington: As everyone finished their tasks, they'd all report to me afterwards, you see.
Jack Skellington: When I told them everything was all thanks to Leona-kun's improvement efforts, everyone was so pleased.
Dr. Finkelstein: That's right. Leona's got quite the head on his shoulders. He's a rather capable young man.
Mayor: Absolutely. Whenever we consulted him, he'd always have an idea ready, and once we implemented it, it always went well.
Sally: It was amazing how he didn't even need to leave the town center, and could figure out the situation and give the right instructions right away…
Skully: He never lifted a finger, and yet he was able to expertly give commands… Heheh, sounds like Leona-san is a king to me.
Skully: Perhaps it could be said, then… That this Halloween came to be thanks to two great kings.
Jack Skellington: Yes, it's just as Skully-kun says. Because a king is someone who can bring everyone together.
Mayor: I agree, you guys are so skilled in keeping everyone on task!
Sally: Both of you have amazing leadership skills.
Dr. Finkelstein: Indeed, we've received great inspiration from all of your original ideas.
Skully: Isn't it amazing, Leona-san? Not only are you receiving high praise from the illustrious Jack-sama, but also from all those who admire him…
Leona: Well, whatever, thanks for all the accolades.
Leona: Just hearing all of you say all that is making me feel idiotic for even putting so much thought into everything.
Leona: If someone is recognized as a king by all those who need and admire them…
Leona: I guess that person really becomes their "king," then.
[Savanaclaw Dorm – Lounge]
Savanaclaw Student A: And that's how we do Halloween at Night Raven College. That was epic!
Savanaclaw Student B: I had just as much fun prepping as I did enjoying the events. Man, I can't believe Halloween's over already.
Jack: What are those guys doing…? They should be getting ready for Spelldrive practice.
Ruggie: Guess they're just sufferin' from what we call the Halloween Blues. Y'see it every year. There's always freshmen who're burned out after.
Ruggie: I mean, I totally get the same "we did it!" feeling, sure. But if they keep lounging around like that…
Leona: Hey, you. How long do all of you plan to laze around?
Savanaclaw Student A/B: AH, HOUSEWARDEN LEONA!
Leona: It's almost time for Spelldrive practice to start… You guys must be feeling pretty good to not even be changed yet, huh.
Leona: If you've learned the applied magic needed to change your clothes right here, right now, why don't all you freshmen show me what you can do?
Savanaclaw Student A/B: S-Sorry! We'll go change right now and head towards the Spelldrive field!
Leona: Geez, they're just one pain after another…
Jack: They were all just laying around… But as soon as they saw Leona-senpai, they straightened right out.
Ruggie: Didja see how stiff they were when they shot up straight? …Well, I guess when a lion glares atcha, anyone'd fall in line.
Ruggie: See, that's why when Leona-san's around, everyone's at attention… It's like the whole dorm is in peak condition.
Ruggie: That's Leona-san, for ya. Our king is the best of the best!
Leona: What, I'm a king just 'cause I scolded some of our cubs? That's a pretty cheap price for a throne.
Leona: If you're gonna try to butter me up, try making a little more sense.
Jack: It's not just idle flattery. Just like Ruggie-senpai says, you're our…
Leona: Yeah, yeah, whatever, thanks.
Leona: …Leave the stupid chatter out of it. Time to head to the Spelldrive field.
Requested by @farfalla049 and @raven-at-the-writing-desk
#twisted wonderland#twst#leona kingscholar#epel felmier#riddle rosehearts#idia shroud#grim#jack howl#ruggie bucchi#jack skellington#halloween town mayor#sally#dr. finkelstein#skully j graves#twst leona#twst epe#twst riddle#twst idia#twst grim#twst jack#twst ruggie#twst skully#twst yuu#twst translation#twst halloween#twst nightmare before christmas#twst nightmare suit#mention: trey#mention: jamil#mention: vil
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Castles in the Fade, or What Was the Point of the Veil Anyway
Something that will now haunt me until the end of time is why was the concept of the Veil ever introduced into this series.
We’ve been hearing about it since the very first game. There’s a codex entry about tears in the Veil in Origins. Tamlen mentions a thin spot in the Veil if you play a Dalish elf. Sandal has a prophecy in Dragon Age 2: “One day the magic will come back—all of it. Everyone will be just like they were. The shadows will part and the skies will open wide. When he rises, everyone will see.” Admittedly, this is just one line said by a character who often says odd things, but it hinted to the fact they were planning to do something with the Veil from the very beginning. The state of the Veil is repeatedly brought up. It all had to mean something! Or so I thought.
When I saw “The Dread Wolf Rises” quest in Veilguard, I said, “Oh, here we go!” The Veil is coming down, magic is coming back, and it’s going to set up such an interesting story for the next game.
Alas, no.
I hadn’t really enjoyed my time playing Veilguard up until this point. It felt like the game was ducking and dodging every bit of world building and lore that could possibly bring nuance or complexity to the story. Every returning character or faction was a cardboard cutout of themself. They shoved Solas is a time-out box and gave him nothing to do. They refused to let him have any impact or influence on the story when he had been set up to be our main antagonist back in Trespasser. This game used to be called Dreadwolf! And while we learn about his past… we never talk to him about it. In the present, he’s in stasis.
Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain are our villains. And they are your typical evil for evil’s sake villains. They are mad, bad, and only as dangerous as the narrative will allow as to not give Rook and co too much trouble. They are surprisingly patient while Rook fixes all their companions’ problems… until Elgar’nan moves the moon to cause an eclipse. A vital component in making his own lyrium dagger. For some reason. This guy can move a satellite!? And he just let Rook walk away in previous encounters… twice. Ok. Sure.
The Evil Duo need their own dagger ostensibly to tear down the Veil, because they want to unleash the full force of the Blight onto the world. Because they are evil. And they were thwarted last time they tried to Blight the entire world. Why do they think Blighting the world is a good idea? What’s the point of ruling a world if everyone is dead? I guess they haven’t thought that through, because of the madness and the evilness.
Ok, I thought. Perhaps the gods will be the one to tear down the Veil. Or maybe we’ll have a choice to let Solas do it his way before they can, which will be less chaotic and less full of Blight. Because the Veil has to be coming down one way or another? Why introduce the concept of the Veil, especially a Veil that has been thinning and failing since the series began, if it’s just going to… stay.
There is a principle in storytelling called Chekov’s gun. If something is mentioned in a story, it must have a purpose. If you keeping mentioning that gun hanging on the wall over the fireplace, it’s because at some point in the story, someone is going to take it down and use it. The Veil felt like Chekov’s gun to me. Chekov’s Veil, if you will. It’s been here from the beginning of our tale, the spectre hanging over our protagonists’ heads for multiple games.
The Veil has been a character unto itself. It was the central focus of the third game, and its dissolution was set up to be the core conflict of the fourth game. We learn everything we thought we knew about the Veil was a lie. It was not created by the Maker to separate the Fade from this world because of jealous spirits, it was created by a guy named Solas to trap the elven gods and the Blight from destroying the world. Also, the elven gods were never gods, and they are also evil.
This reveal will surely throw the Andrastian religion into chaos! This puts the very existence of the Maker into question! The Evanuris are a lie; it’s only fair Catholicism—oh, I mean—the Chantry is a lie too. We briefly touch on that in Veilguard… then it is quietly discarded. Religious crisis averted.
But I digress.
When the title of the fourth game was changed from Dreadwolf to Veilguard, I started to see the writing on the wall. Still, I held out hope the Veil would have some greater purpose in the story. That its introduction as a concept was for a reason. That something in this world would change.
Instead, from the get-go, the question of the Veil is no question at all. We only get Solas and Varric making oblique or catastrophizing statements about it. Solas says little beyond he has a plan. If I ever wanted to hear a villain monologue about their plan, it was now! Varric, on the other hand, decries Solas’s plan. He warns that should the Veil fall, it will destroy the world and drown it in demons. And that’s that.
We never really learn why Solas wants to tear the Veil down, or why he thinks it will help anyone. “The Veil is a wound inflicted upon this world. It must be healed,” he says. And that’s basically all he says about it in Veilguard. In Inquisition and Trespasser, we learn it took the immortality from the elves. It cut most of magic off from the world. Spirits are trapped and are being corrupted into demons, and most of what we know about spirits and demons is wrong. There are ancient elves possibly asleep? That part is left vague, but ancient elves are still about. We meet some in Mythal’s temple. There seems to have been some merit in bringing it down, because elves were flocking to Solas’s cause at the end of Trespasser. He had agents working for him already. What do they know that we don’t know?
Apparently nothing, because by the time Veilguard rolls around, there are no mention of agents. He is working alone. His only motivation now seems to be he’s too deep in his sunk-cost fallacy. The Veil is unnatural, so it must be removed—consequences be damned. We are never given any reason to think Solas has a leg to stand on in his pursuit of tearing down the Veil. We never hear any kind of counter argument from anyone, not even Solas, as to why the Veil should come down. We are only told it will destroy the world. It will drown the world in demons. This is all Solas’s fault.
There is no nuance. No complexity. No moral quandary to mull over. The game gives us vague warnings with no explanation as to what exactly is so world-annihilating about the Veil coming down. We must take Varric’s word at face value. We’re the heroes; Solas is the villain. Stop him.
It makes me wonder why Solas was ever a companion in Inquisition, let alone a romance option. Solas was presented to us as a complicated character in Inquisition. We had the potential throughout the game to make him see the value of this world, to help him realize he was wrong about it. “We aren’t even people to you,” the Inquisitor says in Trespasser. Solas replies, “Not at first. You showed me that I was wrong...again.” He began the third game viewing the world as tranquil, seeing the people in it as nothing more than figments in a nightmare, just as we saw our companions in the In Hushed Whispers quest. He ends the game having made friends, having recognized he was mistaken. He might have even fallen in love. (Or he may still seen no merit in this world if the Inquisitor antagonized him the entirety of their time together.) But something makes him continue with his plan to tear down the Veil, despite recognizing this world is real. He must know something we don’t. Something we’ll learn about in the next game.
We’ve been hearing about the Veil for three games now. We’ve set up our complex antivillain for the next installment, and he’s going to tear the Veil down. We swear to stop him or save him. But it has to be more complex than that. It can’t be so straightforward. Uncomplicated. Simple. Boring. Right? Right?
Nope. He really is just the villain, mustache-twirling and all. He apparently had no greater motivation, no as of yet unrevealed knowledge that would put this whole Veil thing into a new context. It was really as simple as the Veil falling will destroy the world, so Solas must be stopped. There is no new information that is revealed which makes us question what we are doing. Solas is never given any nuance or complexity to his actions. Nuance and complexity have actively been taken away. Both him and the Veil are looking like they are the worst things to be in a story: pointless. Why introduce the Veil if it’s just going to remain unchanged? Why introduce a character like Solas, bother humanizing him (for lack of a better term), giving us his backstory, setting him up as a cunning antagonist, only to make him look stupid, then put him on a shelf until the last ten minutes of your game?
Solas was the trickster archetype of this tale. He was our version of Loki from Norse mythology. What is the role of the trickster archetype? To challenge the status quo. To bring about events of extreme change, like say, the tearing down of a Veil that holds back all of magic. Loki is a huge contributing factor in Ragnarök. Through his manipulation, he causes the death of the beloved god, Baldr. This ushers in a long winter, which signifies the beginning of the end. Loki is imprisoned for this crime. When the final battle between gods and giants begins, the sun and moon are swallowed, plunging the earth into darkness. The earth shakes and Loki is freed to fight on the side of the giants. The world burns in raw chaos, falls beneath the sea, and is reborn. The world is remade, and a new realm of the gods and a new, better earth is formed.
It really felt like this was the setup they were going for. Solas causes the death of Mythal, and this is his catalyst for creating the Veil, which ushers in a world without magic. This could be seen as equivalent to the long winter. Solas falls asleep, trapped in dreams. He wakes and sets in motion bringing about the apocalypse. It’s not a perfect one to one, but it’s there if you squint. We have a war against the gods in Veilguard. I was expecting a few remaining Titans to wake and join the fight. But we don’t get any of that. There is a final battle, but it does not end in the end of the world. Or a better world. It just ends, and everything is the same.
It seems our trickster god caused his apocalypse thousands of years before our story started, when he created the Veil. His role in this tale was over before ours began, and he really is just some relic from a long-past age. He has no role, no purpose in this story. He is here to be thwarted. He is no Loki at all.
If you can’t tell, I wanted the Veil to come down. Did I think the Veil coming down would be painless? Have no negative consequences? No. Of course not. But keeping it up has negative consequences too. And it made for an interesting story. Or at least it could have. But we never explore that. The game presents no counter argument to having the Veil stay up, which, again, begs the question: what was the point of introducing the concept of the Veil at all?
Did I think the Veil coming down was actually the best solution to help Thedas become a better place? I don’t know, and I never will, because the game never argues for it one way or another. It just tells you to want it in place and to stop asking questions. In real life, a catastrophic event is not the best way to solve any of the world’s problems. But this is the realm of fiction. We have gods and monsters, magic and myth. We have introduced the status quo of Thedas, recognized it needs to change, then our trickster god appears ready to fulfill his role in the narrative.
Instead, it all comes to nothing.
I got to the end of Veilguard… and everything was more or less the same as it was at the start of Origins. Veilguard actually tries its hardest to pretend any previously mentioned problems don’t exist, so of course the Veil coming down has no merit. There are no problems to solve in this world, apparently. Solas is just stuck in the past and can’t get with the times. Silly Solas.
The Veil isn’t even a permanent solution. It wasn’t to begin with. It was some duct tape wrapped around a broken pipe, and we’ve just slapped an extra piece of tape on it. It’s still leaking. It is still unnatural, and will fall eventually one way or another. Large amounts of bloodshed weaken it, so I guess Thedas better achieve world peace real quick to avoid any battles. There were seven super-powered mages holding it together… now there is just one. Ironically, the Veil was going to fall after two more Blights anyway. The Wardens were doing Solas’s work for him! It would also have released the full force of the Blight at that time… which Solas was trying to avoid, I presume.
It feels like keeping the Veil up just pushed a big problem onto Thedas’ future generations. We’ll keep slapping bandaids on it until it all falls apart. Someone else can deal with the fallout, but we’ll be dead by then, so who cares.
Primarily, I wanted the Veil to come down from a storytelling perspective. The Veil was an interesting concept and I wanted the story to do something interesting with it. Conflict is what makes stories stories and the Veil coming down could create so much compelling and complex conflict. And the Fade is weird, and I like weird. Stories are also about change, and I wanted to see Thedas change. Yet, Veilguard is over, and barely anything has changed. Instead of magic coming back being a conflict for the next game, they went with Fantasy Illuminati. Oh.
The Veil turned out to be a nothing-burger, and no problems in this world are even close to being solved. Slavery is still rampant in Tevinter. The elven people are still oppressed everywhere. Mages have no more rights in the South than they did in Origins. Spirits are still trapped and being corrupted. The Calling still exists, though might be different somehow now? They don’t really get into that. The Chantry’s validity is still not allowed to be questioned. The Blight still exists in some form, but again it’s vague. Oh, and we learn the dwarves have been gravely wronged, and the Titans are still tranquil. At least if you redeem Solas and a romanced Lavellan joins him, they can work together on healing the Blight and helping the Titans. Oh, good. One problem is being acknowledged and some action will be taken. Offscreen. Hurray? Solas doesn’t have a really great track record of fixing problems, so Lavellan is definitely going to need to be there to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up.
For some reason, this game seemed terrified of letting us think about anything for more than two seconds. It shied away from complexity or nuance at every turn. The game is called The Veilguard—ironically, that word is never uttered in the game—but we are given no real motive for guarding the Veil. We’re unquestionably the hero. The villains are uncomplicatedly evil. Save the world… never wonder what you are doing or why.
I wanted the game to make me question if the Veil staying up or coming down was the right choice. I needed to be given a real counter argument. Convince me the alternative would actually be better or worse, because as I mentioned… things suck quite a bit in Thedas already for a lot of people right now. Let the Veil’s fate be a difficult choice to make. If the conflict cannot be what to do about the Veil, it should be am I doing the right thing about the Veil. If the heart of your game is so thin on motive, everything else falls apart around it.
I hoped they were setting up a complex, Thedas-sized existential conflict for this game in Trespasser, but no. I wanted something to happen, but nothing did.
I want to feel challenged and changed by a story, not left feeling empty. I’m tired of superficial entertainment. I want to sink my teeth into a narrative that doesn’t paint the world in broad strokes of black and white, good and evil, heroes and villains.
Ultimately, I think my issue is why even introduce a concept like The Veil if you’re not going to do anything interesting with it. Or anything at all. What I thought was Chekov’s Veil turned out to just be a MacGuffin. And that’s disappointing.
#dragon age#the veil#the veil the veil the veil#solas#in which I shake my fist at heaven for 3000 words
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How I became The Desk of Alto Clef.
My response to a SCP Group designed around Hate and Bigotry who have targeted me and others in this community.
Nah, man, my daughter is dead.
It has been brought to my attention that there is a group of people on the internet who are fascinated with my fascination of Alto Clef and Meri. Hurtful and yet cute in a way so I think now I'll choose this time and these screen grabs from their discord to explain how I came to be 'The Desk of Alto Clef'.
My Daughter died six years ago and it sent me spiraling deep into the bottom of whatever bottle I could find.
I was completely prepared to take my own life and even had the things to 'finish the job' because my life had no meaning at that point. What was another statistic going to matter anyways, right?
It was in one of these dark, drunk moments with a gun when I fell across the Volgun's video on 'reality benders and you' and fell into a rabbit hole.
Drunkenly I fumbled around the wiki and learned more about this broken man known as Alto Clef.
A man whom I could relate to in my own way. A man who, no matter what he did, could never see his daughter as I will never be able to see mine. So thus, I became a very, very shitty cosplayer.
I like to believe that over the past four years my acting ability has increased to a sustainable level and as much as I joke about things I do try to stay humble about it. Though I like to think I've become better but I digress.
I love the lore of Clef and Meri, on or offsite, to the point that I am weird about it I know, but that's how I stay connected to my daughter. Writing the Deskverse is how I stay connected to my daughter.
I am also autistic which causes me to hyper fixate on Clef as a coping mechanism.
Because of this group of people I have greatly considered leaving the community and going back to my own personal solitude. Acting, Voice Acting, Cosplaying as Clef gave and still gives me something to live for again. I may not be this group's cup of tea but I do like to believe that I have helped others. My main goal has always been to uplift those who need uplifting. I do not want anyone to ever feel how I felt in my lowest and darkest moments.
The main story in the deskverse is about a father and a daughter torn apart by the actions of an abusive mother. My real life story.
I also have ZERO clue as to why I am being involved with misogyny or yuri things. If I have offended you in any way I do apologize.
I do not plan on posting the more 'suggestive' or 'lewd' responses they have made. Overly sexualized content does make me extremely uncomfortable.
This group of people have broken my heart into pieces. Seeing this list of images and names dragging me through the mud has already smashed my unstable self-esteem as it is.
At this time I do not plan on releasing any names associated with all of this because I am honestly tired of reliving the most horrid event of my life over and over because I, for whatever reason, do not fit what this group feels is acceptable of an actor/writer/fan.
I cannot say the same for the others in which they were assaulting.
In summary Alto Clef is an outlet for the pain I live with every day. I can never see, hold, hear, smell, or speak to my daughter. I have scars on my body from her mother that will never allow me to forget that life I had. I will always remember the taste of gunpowder but thankfully my drunk ass was too weak. If your going to be bad at something, be bad at that I suppose.
I will leave all of this with a final image from the copious list and the one that honestly hurts me the most. I am honestly a shy and reserved person and frankly it takes a lot for me to get out of my comfort zone. Not long ago I went to another SCP discord server because I wanted to meet new people and someone in there was awesome. I truly enjoyed my time with this person and just found them amazing. They were kind, open, willing to listen to my ideas, and gushed over Numberonedoggo. I thought I had finally made a new friend on my own. I was apparently wrong.
Art, from some of my favorite artists, was made for the sole reason of mocking me specifically. To laugh at me for finding joy in something that gives me purpose. Something I use to drive away the darkness.
No age, disorder, illness, or reason at all can be acceptable for anyone to act in this way. You are all a mockery of everything the SCP community should stand for.
-TheDesk
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Okay friends. Romans. Countrymen. I wish to yell about my bird and the most recent lore, so. Spoilers below the cut.
WE FINALLY GOT THERE! VIRWOOD NATION, HOW ARE WE FEELING?
God, I am so excited to finally have gotten there. Connor and I pretty much decided after the very first time we did lore together that we wanted Virwood to be a thing and it's finally here!
One thing that was very very important to me [actually obviously it was important to us both but I don't wanna talk for Connor, so I'll focus on my end of things for the time being] was to portray these birds' aro-ace-spec identity truthfully.
Elwood is demiromantic and that, mixed with the fact he is just not really used to the idea of being loved or even wanted, really was gonna impact any relationship they were gonna have. Before he got to Brightstep he didn’t ever really consider having friends or family a possibility, let alone having a partner, so when he figured out he liked Virgil that was really terrifying for them. His experience with love, love of any kind, was limited to reading about it, and he didn’t even plan on telling Virgil. I think his plan probably was to just bury it for the time being - and then Virgil was presumed dead for a week. Not that Elwood nessecarily believed that, but they also didn’t not believe it. He simply clung onto inaccceptance - if he didn’t accept the option of Virgil being gone, then maybe it wasn’t real.
And then Virgil showed back up in the library, and confided in Elwood about the void sickness, and suddenly a mess of feelings - love and fear and worry - bubbled over and even though Elwood didn’t mean to confess, he indirectly did by blurting out the one solid truth he came to realize over the previous week sitting in Virgil's office, not talking to anybody, just alone with their own thoughts. He would not accept a world that Virgil was not in.
I didn’t want Elwood confessing to be like... him just saying "I love you" or "I'm in love with you" or "I like you" - those are things he feels, but he doesn't know how to articulate how he feels a lot of the time. This is heavily based on how my experience with the combination of being autistic and demiromantic impacts how I process and experience emotions. Sometimes I know the word for an emotion, but it's not enough. One word does not even get close to describing how emotions feel. And I wanted to express that with Elwood. He does love Virgil, but to them I don't think the word has the same weight as saying that Virgil is kind and a good person that they refuse to live without. Describing how an emotion feels, what he thinks, how he experiences being around Virgil is more impactful to him than just saying one small four-letter-word.
I loved seeing everybody's reactions to the lore and I am sending you all hearts and I am so excited to get to keep telling Elwood's story and to create some depiction of aroacespec relationships that I can confidently say feel truthful to how I experience those identities.
💕💕💕💕💕
Also obviously I am excited for the Angst. Void sickness makes brain go brrrrrr fr fr.
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Hi I’m a new circusclan enjoyer and I am SO confused on what’s happening. Can I get a rundown of the current lore we know? Or like links for me to understand because like who is marquee?? I read the moon updates how do I not know them. Also monkeypaw was only mentioned once I believe? What’s their deal??
You got it! I'm not planning on posting here until I finish the next moon--which most likely wont be until the new year, so it'll be nice to have this sitting at the top of my blog for a while! Here's the official Circusclan Lore rundown, including what happened in the moons, the lost moons, the puzzles, and the 10th ring of HELL that is the discord server: First, the starter cats: Ringstar--previously Ringtail of Heronclan, and brother of @echoes-in-echoclan 's Kestrelstar--and his two kits, Clownpaw and Tigerkit.
The pre-moon events: Ring left his clan and his brother to join the circus and be with a cat he met, named Goldmask. Suffient to say for now, Goldmask's treatment of Ring was less that ideal, but he loved her all the more. They had a son together, Clown. The birth was INCREDIBLY taxing on Goldmask, and almost killed her (detailed here https://www.tumblr.com/circus-clangen/768067551594987520/wait-if-goldmask-wasis-paralyzed-how-did-she?source=share). A little while later, Goldmask became pregnant again. Ring was there when one of the kits was born, and knew it was not his. Goldmask knew she would die in this kitting--she'd barely survived having one kit, and this time, she'd had two. Only, Ring never knew the second one existed, because it's father had stolen it away before Ring could arrive. Goldmask didn't make it, and Ring was left alone in the circus, with Clown and Tiger.
The lost moons: I wasn't intending for Circusclan to become a comic. This, coupled with some technical issues, means moons 1-5 were lost. The technical issues were caused because, around moon 3-4, Tigerkit was taken by an eagle and killed. I wasn't ready for her to die, so I went into the code and brought her back... only, something strange happened. Before her in-game death, she was definitively Ring's favorite child. So much so, that I made jokes about it to my friends. He LOVED her. But after she died--after I brought her back--he hated her. He hated her so *viscerally*. A non-secret about the clangen save behind this comic is that both Ring and Clown's hate stats for Tiger are COMPLETELY maxxed. I knew I had to do something with this lore-wise, which I've detailed here (https://www.tumblr.com/circus-clangen/769542088687747072/anything-youre-dying-to-share-3?source=share). Monkeypaw: In a tale I've yet to reveal, Monkeypaw left Heronclan with Ring, but not long after, became the Starclan guide for my clan. The reason you don't see much of him is some lore I've added. There's a lot to it, but the basics of it is that Monkeypaw is only remembered by Ringstar--none of the ever living cats have met him, and so he can't directly interact with him. Unfortunately, Ringstar's connection with Starclan right now is akin to an Internet Explorer browser windows connection to the internet. So, Monkeypaw is a somewhat abstract figure for now. Marquee: Marquee is the father of Tigertoe and the mystery Tigersibling. He's Goldmask's other mate--one Ringstar didn't know existed until Tiger's birth. A staple of Circusclan is the cats affinity for human culture, and their imitation of it. Unknown to them, Marquee was "there first". He's from an almost cultlike group of cats that have been trying to not only imitate, but steal, humanity, for many many years. It's unclear as of now which of his actions are on behalf of this unnamed group, and which are on behalf of his deceased mate Goldmask. Moons 6-14: These moons were drawn when Circusclan was a fun meme project for me to share with my friends. I had no intention of posting it on Tumblr, much less giving it this level of lore. You CAN glean some lore from these wretched posts, but most notable in this era, is the infamous "hide and seek game", in which the player's failure to correctly solve a puzzle (https://www.tumblr.com/circus-clangen/746608261062639616/you-have-successfully-determined-that-ringstar?source=share) left Ringstar trapped in a burning caravan--the blaze implied to be set by Marquee. The players decided to let him burn, and he lost five lives. Moons 13-18: By this point, Tigertoe got the patrol event where a secret, outside-clan mate joins the clan: Trapezetangle. Also by this point, an outside-clan apprentice named Whippaw joins. Moon 19: I forgor Moon 20: The Experimental Era of video moons that were SUPER fun to make but took my entire life so I'm not going to be doing them every moon. Some people expressed they weren't comfortable watching a scary video, so the rundown of moon 20 is this: Ringstar died again, and Tigertoe found out she was pregnant. (For a rundown of that whole mess of a puzzle, look here: https://www.tumblr.com/circus-clangen/761426559722782720/i-try-my-best-to-never-explain-my-puzzles-even-if?source=share) Moon 21: Present day! Horrible things are going to happen very soon <3 Present, currently-alive (or dead) characters that we're AWARE of, even if I haven't properly revealed them: Monkeypaw, Ringstar, Tigertoe, Tigersibling, Clownwish, Goldmask, Marquee, Trapezetangle, Whippaw Nicknames you should be aware of for clarity: Dave is Marquee. The discord server will only call him Dave. His name is Marquee. Please help. Hope this helps at least some!
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i can 100% see Nezha and mk's relationship (regardless if it's platonic or romantic) being equally beneficial and detrimental. like there so much they could help each other with but also subconsciously cause serious problematic habits/ thought processes/ coping mechanisums for each other and themselves the biggest thing my brain latched onto was how MK could become Nezha's first truly safe space.
Nezha going what i know and understand about his lore and what we can glean from the little we know in the show's canon, definitely has it rough in the celestial realm. he had a very troubled childhood and is clearly haunted by his past and is being defined by it despite his efforts to grow and prove that he's better now. he can command respect for his strength and power but people still question him as a person, always waiting for him to slip up. what relationships he does have he probably doesn't feel fully safe expressing his real self and thoughts because it poses potential risks. then mk comes into the picture. Nezha's given him a safe place to talk openly and he'd want to offer the same to the prince. even if he can't help directly he knows just having someone to vent to can help. its small stuff at first, little complaints here and there about work and the celestial realm, but slowly nezha starts to open up about more personal stuff. stuff with his family, with other celestials, and about his past. and to his amazement and relief is met with only empathy and understanding from mk, even after learning about the darker stuff MK never judges him. Nezha doesn't have to mask anything about himself around mk, infact he's being encouraged to relax and just be his natural self around him. he's truly safe when its just him and mk, that feeling has to be euphoric for the poor guy used to being on guard constantly even around the people he loves.
but of course, could easily lead to a mutually unhealthy co-dependency. nezha's already been isolated to some degree having never had much of a positive support structure, and mk's slowly isolating himself away from his established support structure. resulting in an echo chamber of two very well-meaning but very mentally ill people.
(i'm so sorry this turned into a short essay I've been waiting three hours to get of shift so i can spill my brains out about this. i have more but I'm going to end it here in fear that i'm being a bit much about these two)
Noo don’t worry about this being long, I absolutely love it!!
You’re so right, Nezha and MK are at the same time a good counterbalance for each other while also being accidentally self-destructive. MK is a chaotic lil gremlin who follows his emotions and worries about consequences later and Nezha (in LMK at least) seems to be trying very hard to come at things logically and approach from a more grounded, duty-based perspective. They both could use a splash of the other’s energy in that manner, so in that way it’s for sure a good thing that they’re getting closer.
Problem is, like you said, these boys are sooooo mentally ill 😂 The feeling that they need to constantly be proving themselves, giving a little more away every time, pushing their own boundaries and suffering in silence because it’s what someone else needs- these are things they might accidentally end up encouraging in each other…. Actually, probably not even accidentally. They see the other working crazy hard and being run ragged physically and probably emotionally too, and they’re like “I am SO proud of you for sacrificing so much!” ..and both of them have never felt so seen as when the other says that to them. It’s validating their worst impulses to just keep going and giving because their own feelings about it are less important than everyone else’s.
Also, the fact that they feel like they can expect to get that praise when they admit to being stressed might even make them be more open about it. Only with each other, though… if they were to mention feeling overworked or burdened to their families, they know already that they would not get the response they were looking for.. but again, even if it means they’re being more open, it’s still not a super good thing that it’s reinforcing destructive behavior. :U
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Nope! In fact I have very thoroughly thought out Misha's middle name and the lore behind it (partially because I headcanon him as trans, so his name is obviously an important decision to him)
Middle names are patronymic in Ukraine, he's going to get his father's name, despite the fucker being better fit as a sperm donor than an actual father.
But Misha has a rebellious attitude, and a forged birth certificate, so he can fix this.
So while his mother puts in Михайло (Mykhailo) on the birth cert, and asks about changing the suffix of his middle name (because it's gendered, translates to son/daughter of ___) he's like "actually, I've a better idea"
Because this is the fake one, and his adoptive parents will have no concept of Ukrainian naming customs. It's also the one the government will never find, so he doesn't have to stick to Ukrainian naming customs if he doesn't want to (and he doesn't, because his dad sucks).
Everyone but him and his mother will be none the wiser. But they know what his birth cert says, and they are the only people who need to know that at least on a sentimental and not-quite-legal level, that his name is Михайло Тамаравич Бачинський, Mykhailo (Misha) Tamaravych Bachynsky.
According to the government though, his name is Тетяна Олександрівна Бачинський, Tetyana Oleksandrivna Bachynsky
Also, to add to the choir name headcanons:
Also also for the rest of the choir's middle names:
Constance Eleanor Blackwood (canon)
Ocean Faythe Justice O'Connell Rosenberg
Persephone Jennifer Lamb (listen I know that odds are, Penny's name is Penelope. Maybe it's mentioned in Legoland, idk, haven't read it. But I don't care, you can pry this name headcanon from my cold, dead hands)
Richard Keenan Potts
For other characters names/personalities (probably way too detailed but eh) (also I don't have these for everyone but hopefully I will soon I'd love to add to this):
Noel Dorian Casimir Gruber
I think Constance's brothers (I hc there's two of them, fraternal twin boys) would have classic names like Constance does, but they can have cute nicknames like Connie. I've named them Matthew/Mattie and Alexander/Lex. Lex has a very similar personality to Constance, he tends to stick by her or his brother, and is extremely shy. He's not very vocal about his wants or needs, but Mattie was always ready to speak up for him if he needed it. Mattie is a complete social butterfly, and has enough energy and enthusiasm to make up for the timidness of his two older siblings. The second he learned to talk, he did not shut up.
Noel's mom is Roxanne, and to put it simply, she would lay down her life for her son (in fact she basically already has, if we're going by my idea of what happened with Noel's dad. And she'd fucking do it again) and sure, maybe she didn't deal with his coming out in the best way possible, but she does care about him and she just wants him to be safe above all else, and unfortunately in the situation they're in that means they have to barricade the metaphorical closet door just a little. I also headcanon that Noel has an older sister named Camille, she's about 7 years older than him and moved out without any indication of where she was going or where she might be now.
Misha's mother is Tamara, obviously, she's named in the musical. She was the coolest mom ever. She never cared about his grades in school (thought to be fair to him, he was a great student when he lived in Ukraine), she was always encouraging about his hobbies, and she was definitely the first follower of BagEgg on YouTube. She wanted to raise him to be as independent of her as he could be, and she realised once she got sicker that it was the best possible thing she could have done. She was very accepting of him when he came out as trans; well it wasn't coming out as such, it was 6-year-old Misha insisting he wasn't a girl and that he didn't want to be Tetyana anymore. She tried to help him as much as she could, and when she had to forge his birth certificate to get him out of the country she happily changed his name on it, if it meant he could live a safer life in Canada without any judgement based on what he was or wasn't born as. I also think Misha has a little sister, Lyuba. She also emigrated to Canada with Misha, but they went to different homes at opposite ends of Saskatchewan, and he hasn't seen her since.
Would it be stupid to have middle name headcanons for the choir?
And name headcanons/very light personality trait ideas for their family and friends (if they have any)?
#ride the cyclone#rtc musical#noel gruber#constance blackwood#misha bachynskyi#mischa bachinski#rtc headcanons
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Don't mind me....
Just casually thinking about how Wooly might just be like Amanda with different coping mechanisms. LET'S DISCUSS!
I'm talking specfically about Wooly's verse in Play My Way.
"Now watch us play our part. Now watch us dance and sing. Don't let it break your heart just play along and never-"
We see an image of Wooly half in demon form. (Similar to Amanda in the lonely kitten scene). And then we see Wooly covered in blood. But I realized something... is it just me or...
Do these blood patterns look kind of similar? Was it foreshadowing? Or is it telling us what really happened... so as far as I can deduce... Wooly lost control over himself, demoned out, and killed Mr. Fox. Amanda prolly hid the body for him but not after playing with it a little cuz it's Amanda you know how she is. Morbid girl's gotta get her thrills somehow. ANYWAY- I find it interesting how Wooly says "just play along and never-" before those two frames show up. Because... what is something Wooly is ALWAYS doing? Playing along, to the point he raises suspicion from both Amanda and the audience. But considering the way all these images line up... could playing along be some way of maintaining control? Over himself and the situation? My personal headcanon/theory is that Wooly for the most part is in this for himself. I mean like post being trapped in here he doesn't seem to pay any notice to the children getting trapped and he doesn't seem to really care about Amanda's wellbeing. Well he does, like he shows concern for her but he never acts on it. So... I think most of his actions in the games are more for his own self interest and peace of mind. A way of maintaining his own sanity by simply bottling things up and ignoring the problem. I'm not saying he was never a Hameln employee whether it be a doctor or child actor... but I don't think his actions are in Hameln's interest anymore. Heck, it's always a possibility he was put in here with Amanda as a punishment of some sort. That said, my main theory about Wooly is that he was a child actor who had been with Hameln much longer than Amanda.
Anyway, this video gave me a new interpretation of Wooly. Wooly is very much like Amanda, where he has his own demon to control and his own Hameln trauma probably. He just handles it in a much different way. He bottles things up and plays along as a way of keeping control and certainty over himself and the situation. But just like Amanda, he has his breaking points and is prone to snap. It's possible that especially in the first game, if I'm right that this takes place before that, he might've been repressing extra hard out of fear that he might snap again. But in the second game, it seems like he's beginning to break down again, especially towards the end and in the "We can Fix it!" tape. I really hope we see one or both Amanda and Wooly demon-out again because I really want to know how that whole thing works. The demons appear when their upset but not every time they are upset. They seem to demon-out when they are having a complete breakdown but what is this exactly? Is the demon taking over their TV counterpart? Why? Plus, why does this lead to violence? All I can say for sure is I am so hyped to learn more about Amanda and Wooly in the third game. I really hope we get more demon lore too!
#amanda the adventurer#amanda the adventurer 2#maddykpost#wooly the sheep#ata 2#amanda the adventurer wooly#amanda the adventurer theory#play my way
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PSA WARNING: Asaba Harumasa’s Agent Story Part One
CW: Child exploitation, suicide and talks of suicide, and a bittersweet ending.
So I did Harumasa’s Agent Story knowing that it’s not going to be a happy one. Yet, I was not prepared for what the writers had in store for his Agent Story.
Now, if you think Lighter had problems, you’re about to question what is wrong with the writers because they upped the ante with Asaba Harumasa.
(Sorry to the next S rank male, but the devs might torture you next)
Now, the story starts off lightly and a bit sad because Harumasa wants to be on sick leave, and then it’s revealed that he was abandoned as a child. Is he an orphan? Might as well because those people shouldn’t be called parents anymore.
Then, after a few fights into his story, we learn that he knew Seth and his brother from their academy days, though it seems that Asaba did not have a good relationship with Seth’s brother and that might’ve contributed to why he acts mean to Seth. If you did Lighter’s Trust Events, you would remember that Asaba and Seth did not get along when dealing with Lighter, Asaba even going as far as to tell Lighter to report Seth for what happened. And now you know why.
And then the fight with the child who turned into an Ethereal. It was bad. Asaba is shook and Seth drives it harder. We had no chance to save the child.
And then you meet this guy. You will want him dead and gone to HELL.
More lore about his master. It hurts him to think about him. He wants answers and has been finding him for years.
I didn’t get much pictures from the start of his second part, but the ones I did get, it’s just horrible. The reason being that you and Asaba meet THREE more victims and Asaba knows what they’re going through because it’s his past that they’re going through. And one of them is suicidal.
He studied a bit of psychology. Good for him because it does help with trying to deal with trauma.
The writers need a ton of awards, higher pay checks and a million vacation days. They legitimately deserve it. This is highly realistic and true. There will be days when you’ll think of why you’re still alive when the world is just suffocating you but then realize that everyday you haven’t died is you being a survivor of your worst thoughts. It’s hard, and it is highly annoying to keep hearing people telling you to be happy when you don’t want to feel like it, but one more day of living for a tiny reason is better than nothing.
We get back to Seth and the other guy. All I can say is, I advocate murdering people that uses children as science experiments and lie to their face about it. Also, I don’t like the other guy because he’s okay with children dying for medical advancement. I get that they won’t live for long, but it’s not right, and we all should try to be like Seth in this topic.
I know this is a secret test of character, but this is why, despite his naivety on some topics, Seth is a good boy. You can trust him to save your life.
May the bad blood end today. Seth passed his test.
Shoot him. Take him to HELL.
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Since somebody sent in an ask about favorite yandere males in genshin, who are your favorite yandere hsr males?
CW: Yandere Themes
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Azen posting 2 actual writing-ish posts in one day? Extremely unlikely, but now that I'm on break and finished writing about mermen, possible! All things aside, thank you so much for this ask!
I'd say absolute favorites are Argenti and Jing Yuan, but before I talk about them in-depth, I wanted to do some honorable mentions. Aventurine has a lot of potential as a yandere in my opinion, considering his backstory and how that might have affected his psyche, but I just find myself struggling to tap into his character. I love Boothill, but find it hard to envision him as a yandere considering the fact that he's a Galaxy Ranger. Still, like Aventurine, I definitely can see a motive for why he would be a yandere. In my favorite Genshin yanderes post, I mentioned how Neuvillette and Zhongli are two of my favorites from that game, and I also really like Dan Heng/Dan Feng! Draconic characters are really fun to write for, but I'm not very good at keeping up with HSR lore, so I try to shy away from writing Dan Feng because of how entrenched his character is in a lot of the lore. Dan Heng is a little hard for me to write because I struggle to see how he could act on his possessive tendencies with the Astral Express crew being in such close proximity. Dr. Ratio is a super interesting character, but I really struggle with his characterization and while I have a few drabbles written about him, they will not be posted because I don't like how they turned out. Gallagher is another character I've loved since his release, but like Dan Feng, I'm both confused about his lore, and I'm unsure on how to write for him in general when in-game he...doesn't exist? Still not exactly sure what happened to him haha. I recently posted a Moze drabble and depending on what happens in the future, he may move up to be one of my favorites, because I think he has a lot of potential and I'd love to write a oneshot from his perspective about realizing his feelings, but I just need more time working on getting used to his character before I can definitively decide how I feel on him. And finally, I love Sampo, and I actually have an idea of a fic I want to write in regards to a MSND!AU where Sampo is Puck, but he's another character where I really struggle with his characterization.
Ok, now it's time to talk about Argenti and Jing Yuan.
When I say Argenti is my favorite yandere from this game, I mean it. I think he has so much potential as a yandere, and I have this very specific vision of a reader who is an Emanator of Beauty that he finds one day and kidnaps and brings back to his ship. He's such a gentleman to them, but he refuses to let them leave. You can see stars shooting by the windows of his spaceship, see your home planet slowly shrinking into a tiny pinprick on the horizon, until it just pops out of existence. Your new home is with him, he tells you, pressing a chaste kiss against your wrist. He pampers and dotes on you every chance he gets. He can't let you leave his ship, so he brings back souvenirs and memorabilia from every planet he visits. Sometimes he takes photos if he can figure out how to work his phone's camera. Every hour or so when he's off espousing Idrila's prowess to some planet, you'll get a text or call from him making sure you're safe. He cares so much. He cares too much. He cares too much, but he means so well. He sees something of such supreme beauty, and he can't help but want to shelter it.
It's how sweet yet cruel he would be that gets me. The thing that draws me to write yandere content is the fact that these feelings are born from a distorted sense of love. What they are distorted by changes depending on the character, and in Argenti's case, I think it's due to an extreme sense of devotion to his beloved. That method of distortion is probably one of the most fascinating for me to explore. Beyond that, I also think he'd be a good yandere logistically. I could easily see him having a method of controlling the entrance to his spaceship to prevent his beloved from being able to leave while he's out. All in all, I just really, really love Yandere!Argenti, and I hope that me talking about him might have convinced some people to start looking into him more, because he's such a fun character to write for!
Onto Jing Yuan, I have less to talk about, but I still feel really strongly about him! I'm pretty sure most of the writing that I've posted on my blog has been about Jing Yuan, and that's because I feel like I have a good handle on his character. Jing Yuan strikes me less as someone affected by obsessive love, and more as someone affected by overprotective desires. He's lived centuries and seen countless close friends die, and because of that, I think when he's in love, he'd be extremely anxious about losing his beloved. I'm not sure if I talked about this when I talked about my favorite Genshin yanderes, but something that I also find helpful in terms of writing is the level of power the yandere has. This could range from something like pure strength to how much social capital the yandere has. Jing Yuan, in my opinion, is incredibly powerful in a multitude of ways. Canonically, he's an Emanator of The Hunt, he's General of the Luofu, and he's hundreds of years old. Strength, social capital, wisdom, and more. All this power makes for a really fantastic dynamic in my opinion, and it's really fun to write for.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere drabble#yandere imagine#yandere hsr#yandere hsr x reader#yandere hsr x you#yandere honkai star rail#yandere honkai star rail x you#yandere honkai star rail x reader#yandere jing yuan#yandere jingyuan#yandere jing yuan x reader#yandere argenti#yandere argenti x reader#hsr#hsr jing yuan#hsr x reader#hsr argenti#argenti#argenti x reader#argenti x you#jing yuan x you#jing yuan x y/n#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan#jing yuan hsr#hsr fic#hsr x y/n
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okay i wanted to share my thoughts on the comic!!! i finished it maybe 1-2 hours ago and ik nobody’s gonna see this but i still feel like ranting lol (this is gonna be pretty short but spoiler warning ig!!!)
i really enjoyed the backstory stuff with Helen. it all felt so raw, so real. when she hung herself just for Gray Mann to cut the rope with shears i let out an audible gasp
with that being said, i definitely think that the build up through all of the previous comics with whatever she had going on just kinda flopped here. she didn’t really do anything with the last hour of Australium except for talking to a dead guy, and the ”old debt” wasn’t really expanded upon all that much?
there was obviously a lot of fanservice in the comic and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy it,,
i mean come on now! i fucking SCREAMED.
loved to see Olivia again!! and she’s around my age now! and spy without his mask was a VERY pleasant surprise, i’m glad they never showed Pyro’s face too!!!
but speaking of pyro, they got even LESS screen time than they’ve gotten in the previous comics, and that’s saying a lot. Demo was also fucking ROBBED, i wanted SO MUCH more of him. i am fine with the lack of Medic content though, he got a lot of focus in the previous comics + the uh uh heavymedic part,,,
and i do think Scout giving up on Pauling THAT quickly was very ooc and added to the element of this comic feeling kinda disconnected to the other ones.
here’s the thing about all of this though. i might nitpick and bitch about it when the rush has faded, but as it is right now? i am just. SO happy that the comic even came out
like i was on a call with a good good friend (u know who u are ( ˘ ³˘) ♥︎) and suddenly they just yelled ”THE SEVENTH COMIC CAME OUT??” and i was in fucking DISBELIEF, we hung up and i read the entire thing as fast as I could without missing everything and i fucking LOVED IT.
as it is right now i don’t care about the plot holes, ignored characters and stories, or the corny ending. i’m just happy it exists!!! i had a blast with it!!!! merry Christmas everybody <3
edit: it does feel EXTREMELY rushed. and i really wanted more story for everyone since it’s clear that this is it, we’re not getting anymore TF2 content from Valve. we could have had so much more lore for Engie he’s like the most important merc!!!
#tf2#tf2 comics#heavymedic#ish#not perfect but god damn it I enjoyed it#and i loathe opening twt for other ppls opinion#only to see people complain and nitpick the bad parts#like yeah. some elements were bad#but i’m just happy man#team fortress 2
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Dating Jason Todd (Part Five)
fanfic type: angst, fluff, comfort (ongoing)
If you liked the Titans show but wish they handled Jason’s story line differently you might like this fic!
Hey so this is in fact my first time writing fanfiction (idk what my life has come to). Sorry if it’s cringy but also I would eat this up cause I LOVE some good angsty comfort fanfiction. I won’t write smut. I don’t think I’m gonna do requests but if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Also of course I don’t own any DC characters this is purely fanfiction. Although I’ve had tumblr for a bit I’m not really used to posting stuff so sorry if I don’t format everything well. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. (I hope you like run-on sentences💀) (if you don’t like it don’t be rude just move on dude😃🧍♀️)
So story line, this doesn’t really take place in any specific universe but I’m gonna be pulling concepts from Titans, The Batman, Under the Red Hood, and whatever lore I remember from the CW shows cause I grew up watching those, then just my imagination of course. Reader is referred to as she/her btw.
Warnings: talking about death, suicide, depression, torture (it’s not graphic I hate gore it’s just sad), talking about intimacy (not graphic), struggling with eating, topics of grief
Part five: Dead?
You think you’re in shock. Maybe you’re so in shock you don’t even know you are. Dick said Barbra was going to deal with things back in Gotham so him, Kori and Rachel could come home. He told everyone he wants the team to be together but you know he really just wants to keep an eye on you. They should be back any minute since it’s been about three hours since you got the phone call; the call that told you the love of your life is dead. You and Gar sit on the couch side by side both quietly staring off into space. The elevator door opens and Dick, Kori and Rachel walk in. Rachel walks over to you and Gar, she pulls you both into a hug, Kori joins in and Dick simply stands to the side.
You get sick of the awkward conversation and long periods of silence. “Can I talk to you?” You ask Dick. He nods and you head into your old room.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“I know,” you reply. “I’m going to Gotham.”
“Y/N, it’s not safe,” he says.
“You can’t stop me Dick, if you want you can come with but I’m going to Gotham…I want to see him,” you say softly.
“Fine, but no running off and what I say goes,” he says.
“Yes to the first one but I’m not a titan anymore I don’t take orders from you,” you say.
“Sorry…” he says. You begin to throw things into a leather backpack when he says, “you’ll always be a titan to me.” You look into his eyes and see so much sorrow. You don’t have the energy nor motive to attempt to unpack what he’s said. All you want is Jason, and now you’ll never see him again.
“Come on,” you say as you put on Jason’s leather jacket and your pink Chicago hat. Dick follows you out of the room and down the halls to where the titans are.
“Going somewhere?” Rachel says.
“Yeah, Y/N and I are going back to Gotham,” Dick says.
“What?” Gar says.
“What about the threats?” Kori says.
“Jokers the least of my problems right now, Jason’s dead…I need to be there,” you say.
“You’re okay with this Dick?” Gar asks.
“No but that’s why I’m going,” he says.
The car ride is filled with awkward silence. You guys are about an hour into the drive when Dick finally says something. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise,” he says.
“I don’t really wanna talk about it,” you answer quickly.
“I just need you to know I tried, I swept every room in Arkham myself,” he says.
“I know, Rachel told me,” you say. You notice he’s about to continue the conversation so you say, “I forgive you, I know that’s all you care about so I forgive you.”
“Hey, that’s not all I care about” He says.
“It wasn’t your fault, and besides it’s not about you,” you say.
“It’s not about me? What does that mean?” He says.
“Nothing just, you always do this Dick,” you say.
“Do what?” He asks.
“You always make it about yourself and your redemption, you did it on the roof top and you’re doing it right now and I just can’t deal with it, not today,” you say.
“Wait the rooftop-“ he starts to say before you cut him off.
“Not today Dick!” You say with anger. “Please,” you say softly. The rest of the car ride is fairly quiet except the typical arguing about if the gps is correct.
You and Dick get to GCPD to find Barbra speaking with a man in a lab coat.
“Dick?” She says. “I was just about to call you.”
“Barbra you remember Y/N,” Dick says.
“Right, hi,” she says sounding off. “Um something’s happened,” she says.
“Course more bad news, first can we see the body?” Dick asks.
“Fucks sake it’s not “the body” it’s Jason,” you mumble.
“Yeah so that’s the thing, it’s not Jason,” Barbra says.
“What?” You say.
“What do you mean it’s not Jason?” Dick asks.
“He was so beaten he was only recognizable by the Robin suit, we tested his DNA cause it’s part of procedure and the body in the morgue is not Jason Todd,” Barbra says.
“So Jason could still be alive somewhere?” You ask.
“Hypothetically yeah,” Barbra says.
I hope you liked the fic if you did please like, I really appreciate any positive feedback. It’s nice to know people enjoy my writing and it encourages me to keep writing and posting. I have a lot of ideas to develop the red hood story line and also I have backstory ideas for how the reader meets Jason and Dick and becomes a titan. Sorry this one is so short my mom is in the hospital that’s why. I did the whole Jason’s alive thing because I thought I killed him off a bit too suddenly, I’m trying to sort of merge the plots of under the red hood, death in the family and Arkham knight in regards to how he dies. Anyways I hope you are enjoying this series🩷
Also here’s my Masterlist incase you haven’t read the other parts.
Masterlist
#batfam#batfamily#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd comfort#jason todd imagine#jason todd fluff#jason todd x reader#jason todd x oc#jason todd angst#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fic#jason todd#redhood x you#redhood x reader#red hood#arkham knight x you#arkham knight x reader#arkham knight#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson fanfiction#titans fanfiction#dc titans#titans#batfam imagine#titans x reader
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Inside the Character's Mind: Part 1
mentions of physical, psychological and sexual abuse towards both Koujaku and his mother
SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR
Let’s go back to the beginning. Or rather, what Koujaku tells us. He also talks about himself, of course, but usually when he talks about his past, most of the time he talks about his mother: because that’s what hurts him the most. He barely mentions the abuse towards him other than the tattoo and that one time his father punched him. But he always talks about all the hardships that his family put his mother through. And I’m sure you’ll agree with me that it is hard to believe that was it.
Koujaku’s father has proven to be an extremely violent piece of shit and a zero-empathetic person. I don’t doubt that Koujaku’s mother, because of her nature, was his favorite toy. What’s more, he did every cruel thing he could think of to her, his wife too, she had fresh wounds every day and she couldn’t even eat, and although it isn’t said nor implied I wouldn’t be surprised if Koujaku was a product of rape. I mean… most likely. We hardly know anything about his mother, not her appearance, not her name, not what she liked, not how the hell she ended up in that place, if there was any love involved in it or if it was something about debt, we only know that she was the perfect victim.
She was always saying sorry to her son, for everything Koujaku’s been witnessing, she feels guilty and responsible because he tries to stand up for her, and because she has brought him to a world where the one that decides for them is a criminal. She keeps a deep pain inside for everything that’s happening and she tries to hide it, especially from Koujaku, and seeing her son suffer doesn’t help. Smiling to him so he doesn’t worry, and saying sorry to try to comfort him. That’s why the last thing she repeats over and over to her son when she’s lethally wounded is “I’m sorry”, feeling sorry that it’s because of her that he has lived like this, because she wasn’t able to protect him, to give him a proper life.
Obviously all his father did was also psychological abuse towards Koujaku, even blackmailing him with hurting his mother. But I sincerely believe that his father would use physical abuse to teach the boy a lesson, nothing could stop him anyway, because Koujaku as a child complained and rebelled, he didn’t care if his father hit him, he would defend his mother regardless. This is why I sometimes give Koujaku more scars to his body, and besides defensive cuts I also give him cigarette burn marks. Lore expansion better known as adding trauma.
I think he just doesn’t talk about it that much because the abuse towards him isn’t what has hurt him the most. We ourselves often don’t give it much importance if someone tries to insult us, but maybe if it’s someone close to us, that does piss us off, some logic like that. Moreover, throughout the game Koujaku’s personality is just like that, always worrying about others and giving little importance to himself, to the point of being tremendously negative for himself.
Don’t you think those scars would make him look more masculine, intimidating, as if he’s survived dozens of dangerous, tough fights? It seems the perfect image for an environment like organized crime.
Despite all of Koujaku’s feminine traits, the perception of him both in canon and in fandom (usually) is that of a stereotypically masculine, super straight man who fucks a different woman every night, always joking with “no homo, bro” (which, mind you, I’m not saying I don’t like these jokes, I make them myself too). But in reality that couldn't be further from the truth.
With that image that we have of him, sometimes it would seem that he is someone with prejudices or that he really had a hard time accepting that he’s not straight, specially when in the scene where he confesses to Aoba he says the following:
The reasons he tries to hide his feelings is a mix between the fact that they are friends and he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship they already have, that he wants to hide his past and that he doesn’t want to be a burden on Aoba, so he keeps all those things to himself. (And he’s also been educated a certain way and has always seen things one way, never gave it much thought so when it crosses his mind, of course he’s confused)
When he first met Aoba he thought he was a girl because he had really long hair, and after all, when we’re kids we don’t have very developed features anyway, it’s a pretty androgynous state. When Aoba corrects him and tells him he’s a boy his behavior is exactly the same, nothing changes. He corrects himself and never treats him as a girl.
He is someone who has no problem showing his affection for Aoba, neither in private nor in public, he’s very comfortable with his bisexuality, the only one who is reluctant to do so, either out of shame or fear, is Aoba.
What I’m trying to get at with all this is that all that “gentleman” facade and the “always accepting women who want to have something with him” that makes him look so stereotypical in a first impression has a much darker origin, although underneath all that there’s a much more sentimental, vulnerable and open Koujaku about his true feelings, expressing them even if he feels embarrassed, as we see on some occasions (touching his hair nervously when he confesses, of when he explains why Aoba's hair is so important to him).
The relationship he has with his mother is the most direct connection, or course. Being the son of an abused woman has made him hyper-aware of his position as a man (so much that sexism in this game almost goes full circle like the Bourbon family tree, but this is NC’s problem and it happens everywhere, it’s so obvious it’s a writers problem and it’s a shame it affects Koujaku so much because he’s basically the only one who isn’t scared of a bad bitch). We’ll talk about this in particular some more later, but let’s focus on what concerns his father for now.
Being the family of criminals that they are, abusers and… almost slavers, the most logical thing to assume is that they are specially conservative. It could very well be that his father, once he decided to make him his heir, wanted the image of his kid to be as intimidating and masculine as possible. A criminal, a murderer who could run his business in a world like this.
We know that the tattoo is an experiment by Toue, and it wouldn’t be strange if his father knew what was behind it, because after all it would also be beneficial for him to have a way to control him, to mold him to his liking and to make him obedient, unlike he had been behaving, refusing to be his heir and trying to defend his mother. The image of an effeminate, soft, sissy man was not exactly ideal for the future leader. For me, Koujaku’s father either already intended to name him heir before agreeing to the tattoo being an experiment with Toue and Ryuuhou, or he ended up deciding to name him the heir precisely because they had already talked about the tattoo and its possibilities beforehand.
His father would want to break him, drive him to despair so that he would stop resisting, take away his will and, although this is mostly headcanon, “make him a man”. Be a man, be strong, tenacious, learn to fight and find a woman to continue the family with, etc. So it is not surprising that at first he didn’t even reconsider his sexuality and thought that the affection he had for Aoba was just friendship, which over time, with such strong feelings, he realized was not the case. I sincerely love that he is shown to be so nervous and that he confesses to be kinda confused about it and in a state of denial, without having any external reference and too busy hating his father and Ryuuhou to even think about it, it’s normal that it took him so long.
He was trained to be a gangster, while his father insulted him, hit him and threatened him using his mother, on whom he took it out. This training also implies not only fighting but also for doing business, how to talk to be well-received, how to negotiate, how to give the best impression of himself at any given situation. This pack of skills seem to resonate with those that he uses to flirt and run his own business, even if he does it on an unconscious level, he just knows what to say to strike the person he’s talking to in their weak spots. His father’s physical treatment would not only be a punishment, but also to teach him a lesson, to learn to endure the pain, just like he endured the pain of the tattoo. If he cried, it would be shameful, he would be punished. He had to hide his pain, his feelings, his thoughts, for the sake of his mother’s safety and his own. Practically becoming a puppet, thus evolving into the life he carries in Midorijima as an adult.
Him not wanting to open up to Aoba wouldn’t be just an “oh he’s going to hate me”. It’s also what he learned would be the best, having a charismatic appearance that everyone likes. After all wouldn’t it be logical to not want any confrontation with anyone after all that? A tough guy, with people around him who admire him, who never gets tired or cries, because nothing’s wrong. In a way it’s also a shield, a protection, a defense mechanism. To be a man.
Now, the way he behaves that almost everyone without exception associates with his mother. And this, for sure, is the intention, his desire to protect his mother and therefore take care of the women he meets. But it’s also him actively wanting to be the opposite of his father.
What kind of relationship does he have with women? The contact he has with them is mostly through all his female fans, who are crazy to say the least. We’re not going to get much into the subject of sexism but first of all it’s a huge mistake that his fans are only young women or the way they make them all act.
Koujaku spends all his time building a character that he considers perfect, someone gentle, who never says no to a woman and is always available to entertain them, it would never occur to him to deny anything to any of them, as his mother was denied so many things. Unlike that hard and tenacious masculinity that he was taught to have in order to take on his role as the heir or the bestiality of his tattoo, he presents a gentle and chivalrous masculinity on the outside. What he does is pamper them and give them everything they ask for (almost, because has never really had serious relationships. Which makes sense because he would be telling them pretty big lies, right? That wouldn’t fit with his own code). He doesn’t think very highly of himself, he has a low self-esteem as he thinks of himself as nothing better than a worthless monster that should have probably died a long time ago.
Sometimes people who are abused go through abuse again, in a cycle. I think saying that Koujaku is a playboy is incorrect. (He acts flirty and likes playing around, sure, but there’s something deeper). That perception of him is natural, of course, because the way he behaves and how he is presented to you, it is the image they want to give of him after all, in a basic and cliche way, so artificial that it is unsettling. I could believe that it sounds artificial on purpose, referring to that shell of how a confident and strong man should talk, if it weren’t for the fact that they do this kind of cliche and artificial situations quite often with other characters as well, and it makes it kinda hard to remain immersed. I honestly think that the foreshadowing could have been done a little better, but it still serves the narrative. Also this is practically almost all you see of his character the two first interactions he has with Aoba. Considering the structure of the game and how rushed everything is, it’s not very positive, but for the sake of your mental health it's better not to think too much about it.
In short, Koujaku is a very accommodating and attentive person. He listens and encourages others with their problems but doesn’t let anyone worry about him with his own, taking on everything himself. He even ironically tells Aoba that if he’s worried about what happened with Mizuki, he can blame him, and that he can always count on him to tell him anything. It’s a very lonely way to live, even though he has so many people around him.
Knowing this, it’s more than reasonable to think that more than him flirting with women, it’s simply him agreeing to give what those women ask of him. They come looking for something and he gives it to them. He’s a toy. It’s often joked that he’s practically a prostitute, and pretty much that’s what it is. And it’s in the balcony scene where we see a more personal side of him, where we can observe that in reality all this burden tires him, it’s not natural. It’s not like his character isn’t extroverted and charismatic, but that’s not everything, and in public he doesn’t allow himself to be “less”, so in private and in confidence is when he can afford to relax, with Aoba or in his own house.
Somehow, even though he is no longer with his family, the way he interacts with other people, or how he lets himself be used, be it consciously or not, even if there is a different intention behind, is not that different from before, people still use him.
ERHM... SOMETHING
I’ve sometimes wondered if there was some sort of sexual abuse on Ryuuhou’s part towards Koujaku. Nothing is implied canonically, at least physically, but the erotic connotations of the story of the tattoo artist he’s based on, the sadism, and his constant references to love make me think of it happening on a symbolic level.
I think it’s obvious that Ryuuhou loves Koujaku, in his own way, as his creation, and he’s referencing love at first sight and Koujaku’s abuse of Aoba. In a metaphorical way that abuse certainly happened, ever since he was tattooed, his body did not belong to him anymore. There are people who can’t stand the idea of having sex, and others who often seek it out to ease the pain. Ryuuhou made sure to mark his body and mind so that he could never forget him. His tattoos are his shame, his filth and sin. When Aoba touches his tattoos Koujaku practically jumps at contact.
#again text in red is new info added after the document was posted to you can identify it if you've already read it all#dmmd#dramatical murder#koujaku dmmd#koujaku#essay#this one's long 🥴#I can't believe we finally ended the character design part 🤯
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Heeeyyyy, I'm so so intrigued by your hockey posting. I'd love to know more about Fedorov, like what's the lore, what makes him special? Have a nice day/ night <333
good morning/afternoon/evening anon! since you asked so nicely i'll try my best but i do tend to forget everything i know when i have to actually explain it. there is a lot of lore tho so i'm not gonna go over all of it (mainly the bits that interest me the most + some other stuff). i guess what really makes him special (at least to me) is the fact that we don't get players like this anymore. and i'm not talking playing style here (the impact of euro hockey players of the 90s on the nhl today is still so obviously there). a lot of his early career was directly impacted by cold war politics, and since those circumstances haven't existed for a while now, we don't get this insane type of backstories and lore anymore. i should also make it clear that i'm a massive nerd who sat in classrooms for years learning abt soviet stuff which i think definitely has an impact on who My Guys are
seriously there is a lot under the cut so be warned because i did get carried away with myself A Lot (i literally wrote over 1k words on this. sorry in advance)
ok so. sergei started playing "pro" hockey in the soviet union in the mid 80s (i don't think this is the place to explain whether these players were pro or amateur so will leave it like that), first in minsk (only for a year) before being picked up by cska moscow- the central army team. these guys made up most of the national team, which can probably be explained by the fact that their head coach also coached the national team (god that's a bit of a mouthful, but incredibly relevant). he wasn't the only rookie on the team that season; another kid (i think they were both like 16 at the time ?) called alex mogilny had also just arrived in moscow. they would become good friends. sergei would play three seasons for cska before being called up for the national team- he was going to the 1989 world championship. alex would be there, too, having already played on the team before. naturally, the ussr won gold (as they did almost every year). but that doesn't mean everything was good with the players. not long too after the tournament, some of the older players would finally get permission to play in the nhl, but for the younger guys it was looking like they had no way of getting out any time soon. in the days between the end of the championship and the soviet team's flight home, mogilny apparently approached fedorov and asked him to go to america with him- sergei said no, worried about what would happen to his family. alex would go anyway, disappearing for a few days before popping up in buffalo ready to join the sabres. (this might seem irrelevant right now but it's actually really not- i'm getting there now)
that same summer, sergei would be drafted in the fourth round by detroit. this choice may or may not have been influenced by steve yzerman telling them sergei was better than him. after a bit of back and forth, they got him to defect after cska played a series of games in north america. it literally sounds like the type of shit they write in spy films it was fucking mental. this made him only the second soviet to defect in order to play in the nhl i'm pretty sure (defo the second in like 18 months- funnily enough it was his bestie who was the first one. what a coincidence), but they weren't the first two from the other side of the iron curtain to do that. might be wrong but i think that honour goes to the stastny brothers. anyway. when sergei got to detroit he wore 91 because he wanted to "be like stevie" or some insane shit like that. which i literally think about all the time. like seriously what was that about sergei.
okok can't not talk about the russian five so doing that now. since idk how much you know about hockey i'll do a better job on this bit. after sergei arrived in detroit, management must've figured they could get more russians. over the next couple of years they got vladimir konstantinov (who was drafted the same year as sergei) and slava kozlov to make the jump to the states. since i'm mainly talking about sergei i won't go into how they got those two but it's just as unbelievable as you'd expect. after the 1994-95 lockout, the wings traded for another russian- slava fetisov. if you ever want to learn about soviet hockey you'll hear a lot about this guy, and for good reason too. he won two olympic gold medals and seven world championships with the soviet union, and captained most of those teams. obviously adding a guy with that much experience winning was a smart choice imo, even if he hadn't won anything in the nhl yet. by now the wings had four russian players- why not add a fifth ? in 1994 the wings were embarrassed in the playoffs, losing to san jose. it just happened that sj happened to have two of the older soviets who had fought for the right to play in north america. one of them was igor larionov- probably the smartest guy to ever play hockey. it was his tactics (and refusal to change his style of play) that led to his team's success in the first round. and i guess detroit didn't ever want to deal with that again because they ended up trading for the guy in the first part of the 1995-96 season. the russian five first played together in calgary, where they played that style of soviet hockey that nhlers could never really wrap their heads around at the time. they walked all over the flames in their own building, and would continue to do the same to the rest of the league. the five would be a key part of the 1997 stanley cup-winning team, which was the first wings team to lift the cup in over forty years.
sergei stayed to win a few more cups, and then left the city. he signed w the ducks in anaheim, bleached his hair and moved out to california (i think we can all resonate with wanting to change our appearance and move thousands of miles away from where we've spent over a decade building out lives amiright). from what i can tell, this move was Not Liked by detroit's owners (honestly i can't see any other reason his number hasn't been retired there). he'd bounce around a couple more nhl teams before going back to russia to play on the same team as his brother, eventually retiring in 2012.
jumping to 2015, that year's hockey hall of fame inductees included sergei (and nick lidstrom, one of his detroit teammates and one of the best defencemen to every play the game). it was basically a 90s wings reunion. in sergei's induction speech, he did like everyone else and thanked a bunch of people who helped him out throughout his career. and, you know, it was all the expected stuff (hockey guys can be so predictable sometimes), but "to my captain, steve yzerman" still fucking gets me. it had been twelve years since he'd worn a wings jersey. my captain. i think you get my point but i'm gonna have to stop there because i can't carry on and be remotely normal about it.
oh and in 2021, after spending a few years bouncing around random jobs for the team, cska announced that fedorov would be taking over as head coach. he went back to the team where all this started. now i don't know how exactly he is with his team but i sure hope he learned enough from his days there as a player under tikhonov on exactly how not to treat your players. cska won back to back gagarin cups (the trophy awarded to the khl team who wins the playoffs) in sergei'd first two seasons behind the bench, and they're probably looking to make it a threepeat with the playoffs starting today (?)
#ok so i did start this last night but it got a bit messy because i was so tired so had to redo it this morning. sorry it took so long#but when i say there's so much lore. i mean there is So Much Lore#tl;dr to me what makes him Special is his early days in the soviet union/his defection and his role in the russian five (and by extension#the championship teams in detroit in the late 90s)#oh and @ my wings mutuals if i got anything wrong help me out i did this all off the top of my head and don't have the time to fact check#everything
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tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid
okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.
Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.
It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.
(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)
There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.
It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.
Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.
Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.
He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.
At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.
This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.
Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.
Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.
Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.
("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)
Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.
Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.
Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.
Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.
Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".
(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)
Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.
He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.
Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.
Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.
At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.
He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.
Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."
And there it is. There's his out.
Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."
The ball starts rolling.
Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.
He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.
It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.
Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.
He breaks the lock by hand.
Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.
The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.
And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.
I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"
I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.
Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.
But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.
Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.
Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.
Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.
Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.
And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#tales of the passerine au#i dont want to overemphasize how much vlad sucks but also i dont want to downplay it. but also i didn't wanna make this post too long#i didn't emphasize enough on vlad's possessiveness but i wanted to make this post as general enough as possible for the au.#for some more wiggle room in the future if i make more posts about this au.#the consequences for Danny repressing himself was not a concern i was focused on for the post but i am thinking about it and mulling it ove#i'll be blunt my main specific reason for why this occurs shortly after tue is bc it means dani doesn't exist yet and it means i dont have#to include her in the continuation of this au. i love that girl but she's a dead weight. i dont wanna come up with an elaborate reason as#to why she's not in the picture when i can just say 'she never created in the first place' instead. i don't have anything for her to do#I don't want to risk giving her a poor plot line just so that she exists in au.#sometimes i really hate just how long my posts get. i feel like it kills my engagement. but i also don't want to make posts that have#a part 1 and part 2 just because I think it got too long.#i feel kinda bad for having Danny take the spot of 'first partner' from Dick. But that was part of the reason i was inspired to make this a#i've already got the skeleton of a reasoning for danny becoming a vigilante being made in my head.#He can't go by Phantom since that risks drawing Vlad's attention -- a new vigilante showing up in Gotham. a place the visited frequently#who goes by the name Phantom? He'd be on that faster than chickens on meat. and nightingale has familial meaning behind it due to being#part of an ancestral name. it follows robin's theme of using it to honor his parents while still having its own unique enough lore to stand#on its own without feeling like a cheap copy. plus the bonus meta reason that it follows the bird theme. which personally is vital to me#my other alternative to Nightingale is Sparrow. mostly because it has good phonetic structure for a hero name. not too many syllables#a good balance of consonants and vowels. dont want a hero name with too many syllables or unbalanced consonants. or worse; both.#my reasonings is that hero names should be easy for a civ or teammate to yell while still being understood. max amount of syllables before#it threatens to become too wordy is 3. If it goes over 3 it should have a balanced consonant-vowel ratio. Wonder Woman is a good example#some things got cut here that were in the initial oneshot. like danny giving bruce his physical ghost core and showing up bloody.#the first son au
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