#but when he dies its gonna be like . its gone
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Yeah, Bidens a coward at best and a genocidal POS at worst
But Trump is also literally a white supremacist who is BFFs with Netanyahu and has been helping him stall any "peace" ("ceasefire") talks
Trump is not the answer to the situation, he will make it worse.
This past election wasn't about who would help Gaza, no one with the ability to become President cared about Gaza.
This was about how many American minorities, including Palestinian refugees, were taken with them.
It wasn't about Gaza, unfortunately, it was about harm reduction. It was about "who is easier to fight? A party who kinda doesn't wanr to act or fix anything or a party who is actively setting the house on fire?"
And y'all chose to throw trans & queer people, immigrants, people of colour, the environment, the economy, the poor, the sick, the homeless, women, and everyone else on the fire as well.
Also:
The genocide didn't start in 2023, Israel has been trying to erase Palestine since the 1940s and the reaction of the western world shows that it didn't matter who was President of the USA, if it did places like Australia, the UK, countries in Europe, Canada, some of them would have condemned Israel.
But they didn't.
Because it's not about Biden, it's literally just racism. It would have been the same or worse if Trump had won in 2020.
Acting like this is happening because of Biden is ignorance at best and misinformation at worst, Netanyahu isn't doing this because Biden is in power, he's doing this because Israel is a colonising state built on eugenics and a jewish-centrist version of white supremacy that has existed Before Hitler even came to power before WW2.
Colonisers gonna colonise and this was always going to happen without outside intervention.
Look at native amercians, native Australians, natives that have been displaced, murdered, and subjugated for centuries.
Israel took its playbook from them, and this was always going to happen. Israel put Hamas in place to begin with in like 2004. There was always going to be a ramp up in violence, no matter who was President of the USA.
Literally the only difference between Harris winning 2024 and Trump winning 2024 is that if Harris won, less people in the USA would have to worry about their rights/livelyhoods/safety/etc.
Now that Trump has won, a ton of people have gone into "duck, cover and survive" mode meaning that there is less help for others.
People can't rally if they have to work more for less, if the cops are gonna drag them off the streets cuz they 'look like an illegal immigrat'
And don't bring up "well people died under Biden" like it's some kind of "gotcha" cuz a ton of those deaths are from impacts of Trump's term and being like "well people were gonna die either way" is just the worst take.
This election was about "how can we limit and reduce harm?" And y'all went "Biden sucks im voting for the literal Nazi"
Netanyahu is not ramping up his actions because he's worried he won't be able to finish it when Trump is in power, he knows he can.
He's ramping up because of several reasons: 1 - this war is tanking the Israel economy, 2 - slowly public opinion is turning - not really in politics but in every day people and boycotts are working causing companies like McDonalds to withdraw many franchises from Israel & illegal settlements, 3 - that's what colonisers do. Its literally part of the playbook.
It has basically nothing to do with who's in power anywhere else. If it did, then the majority of the rest of the world's politicians wouldn't also be just standing by or, even worse, supporting Israel.
To summerise:
Yes, Biden is a coloniser, a genocide supporter, a coward, and a piece of shit
No, the genocide in Israel isn't connected to who's in power in the USA because it's actions have been consistent since before world war 2 & as far as I'm aware we've had a Lot of people in power since then all over the world.
Places like the US and Australia have been supporting Israel since the 1940s. And the USA has been sending weapons since the 1960s at least.
This isn't a modern day problem, this is a systematic issue that's existed for decades.
If you threw everyone on the fire just because Biden & then Harris didn't support Palestine, the blood of Palestine and everyone else is on your hands.
If you voted for Trump: you're a white supremacist. It doesn't matter if you agree with all his policies or none, if you vote for a Nazi, you are a Nazi.
White supremacy is worse than mold: if you let it take root for even a second you'll have to strip the entire room to weed it all out
#sorry for the long rant#im just sick of people implying that Biden is activley connected to whats happening#like hes not helpinh#and hes a POS#but this would have happened no matter who was in power#because its not about the US#its about israel and their coloniser bullshit#palestine#support palestine#keep putting pressure on ur governments#australian gov isnt activley sending weapons to israel but theyre not preventing Aus companies doing so#and thats the same thing in the end
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What are your thoughts on poly coven and if you do have have any what would the dynamic be?
You folks really want that Agatha All Along fic about all the different dynamics, don't you? 😂😂😂 (Referencing this ask--although I suppose I have no way of knowing whether this is the same anon. Thank you for the ask regardless!)
I enjoy poly coven, although I haven't read much of it! In my mind, there are two general ways to approach this: one where Billy functions as their non-romantic glue (the Billy-has-seven-moms approach) and one (more interesting imo) where we nix Billy altogether and let it be a true dumpster fire.
Billy Has Seven Moms:
The single thing they all agree on (no one believes Agatha when she equivocates, and Rio doesn't snarl about it, which is as close to agreement as they'll get) is that the kid comes first.
Agatha and Jen both provide a practical kind of mentorship: technical magical study, potion-making, spells. They snark at each other during lessons ("What happened to 'presenting a united front'?" says Agatha) and if Jen doesn't back off, Alice, Billy, or Lilia step in to stop it from going all the way downhill. Agatha and Jen fuck it out later.
Lilia mentors Billy in history, tarot, and witch culture--all the soft skills that Agatha and Jen aren't proficient in. She enjoys the quiet respect that all of the coven, but especially Billy and Alice, holds for her. She and Alice trade off nights cooking; Lilia's go-to recipes are old Sicilian favorites.
Alice is Billy's Normal Stable Person (TM), a fact that at one point sends Alice into a panic spiral that Agatha and Jen have to drag her out of. She's the one Billy comes to when he needs someone who understands what it's like to be a kid on your own--when he's having a tough time with someone else in the coven, when he's feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of mothers in his life. Alice teaches him guitar, and then, very hesitantly, protection spells passed down to her from Lorna.
Rio mopes around like a disgruntled housecat, never quite looking at Billy. The only time she does is when Billy announces he wants to make a Sharon Davis memorial garden. She doesn't help, of course, not in any way that Billy sees. But she does watch.
Of course, this well-oiled mentorship program works only as long as Billy is with them on the timeshare schedule. As soon as he's gone, it's like a ghost house with five roommates who hate each other's guts. If they still have separate places of residence, they all leave (except for the times when Jen is so annoyed with Agatha they bang first). If they actually do live in the same house, they all go into their separate rooms.
Then they seek each other out in pairs or trios, depending on what they want. Alice and Jen seek each other out when they want a normal date night; Rio seeks Lilia when she wants to talk shop about the old days; Agatha seeks Alice when it's been a hard day and she wants someone to be quiet about it. (Although let's be real: if Agatha's seeking someone out, it's also usually to fuck.)
Sometimes these pairs have a good time together; other times it turns into a fight that someone else cleans up. Lilia keeps count.
The only time the whole coven joins together sans Billy is when there's a threat. Usually to Agatha. Sometimes (futilely) to Rio. It always ends in massive property damage and murder, and there's an 80% chance the five of them have messy wow-we're-all-still-our-version-of-alive-sex afterward.
Agatha makes lots of divorce jokes.
No Billy, Just Chaos:
It's worse.
You know, I'm not even gonna bulletpoint this out because it's slowly growing into its own fic idea, but--in a poly coven where there's no Billy, everything happens a lot quicker and dirtier. (This is also because it veers wildly off-canon, and we're dealing with these characters before they've arced out. You know, the nasty, messy versions of them.)
Of course there's still got to be something forcing them together--soulmarks! Billy dies in episode 4 and leaves them in a crumbling Road illusion! The Salem Seven invade Westview and they all pick the same hiding spot!--but the thing keeping them together would not then be a kid. It would not be someone with a good heart they all care about. It would be one of Agatha's freakishly charismatic cons, utter fear, or a combination of both. Thus, everyone would spiral toward their most feral selves fast.
To wit: Jen and Agatha skip straight to the hate sex, Rio gets amused and jealous and jumps in. Alice, having no kid to protect, focuses her efforts on Lilia (the coven's elder) and Agatha (the coven's leader). This brings Alice directly into the snare that is Rio/Agatha/Jen, becoming--if we're being kind--their right hand and--if we're being truthful--their pet. Lilia considers herself above this weird fucked-up power tangle, but she and Rio have centuries of history, and Rio is almost as good as Agatha at annoying people into making bad decisions. It would be terrible. It would be glorious.
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#jennifer kale#alice wu gulliver#rio vidal#lilia calderu#ask#thanks for the ask anon!
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I've seen a couple of headcannons about Maria surviving somehow and seemingly ending up being a good person. I don't think that would be the case, tho hear me out
I don't think Maria would have ended up being a good person, but Maria would have grown up to be as bad or even worse than eggman in...different ways to the point it makes,gerald with the new information given is obviously has alot of darkness alot...he wasn't a good person that's what I am saying,like who takes their grandchildren pet experiments on it and leaves it to rot because it ended up being a failure? Guess what bio lizard that's some fuck up shit
Everyone talks as if...he was a good man he was likely never a good person. People always talk good about the dead, always forgetting whatever evil stuff they've done in the past conveniently , he most likely never was one to begin with and he hid more horrible secrets somewhere deep within the ark,the ark is a massive place we only had a glimpse of a certain section on it where shadow was created. A likely sealed off section due to its history,the place is the size of a moon/small by what I can tell, and also he likely has other secrets before that outside of the ark ,on earth maybe on mobious during his brief travels down there
A robotnik always growing up on being a robotnik
The only reason shadow having ended up being a good person...was due to the naive promises of a sick child who likely have barely experienced the world and didn't grow to eventually become the monster that alot of the robotnik family ends up being,what if...she was already developing those tendencies under gerald and shadow being naive never even noticed
What if this is cannon, and we've been just oh nice human child and experiment buddy running around having fun being nice
When budding an absolute sick little monster brat, a big ol monster mostly deceives everyone and poor innocent experiment fooled by the happy times.
If yall gonna make maria survive the ark Give me a old Maria who at first acts nice on first meeting shadow then it slowly unravels SHES A FUCKING MONSTER to the point that eggman pretends she doesn't exist because he's terrified of her and actually knew she was around and he didn't say anything because he knew how she is ,and Eggman EGGMAN didn't wish her upon his enemies like AT ALL he never said anything about them pretending he never knew gerald or Maria as to not mess up shadow even more than he already is ,gerald and Maria weren't the nicest robotnik family members no EGGMAN IS and that's saying alot ,it spins a whole other meaning of gerald and Maria being the black sheep of the family , most see the black sheep as being the nicest person pretty much abused n shit in a family of assholes , but in the robotnik they are the worse of the worse of an already fucked up family
Actually... this is my au Maria. Well, who she had been if she survived the ark,a monster in human skin metaphorically speaking tho she died, she had been already showing signs of the monster she would have become.
Fate never speaks ill of the dead, but she makes very few exceptions, but she never speaks of this to shadow, but now that he's better and gotten over, he's been slowly learning the truth about that family to the point that it's making him ill having robotnik in his own name
When fate and shadow eventually do get married, the shadow decides to take fates, the family name replacing the robotnik in his own, signifying that he's both truly moved on and never wants to ever be associated with that family again and the rose colored glasses on those memories are gone
#my thoughts#what if#headcannons#fated shadows au#fated shadows#fated shadows maria#fated shadows shadow#fated shadows fate#my art#my au#sonic au#my oc#sonic oc#my post#sonic#fate the artic fox#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#sth au#sth fandom#sth#sth oc#sonic fandom#my headcanons#shadow the ultimate lifeform
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oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios
#they wouldve died. badly.#unfortunately ive lost the link saw it on twitter but i think laios gets knocked unconscious and imagines that it had been him that got ate#and not falin. and falin is the only one to advocate for them going back#but no one wants to go along with her presumably because they dont care for laios that much#(or at least this is laios' perception as this is just his imagination)#but also because she doesnt know as much about monsters and couldnt come up with a good argument for going back in#<- didnt know about prolonged digestion in red dragons and marcille assumed the interval was the same as in humans (1-3 days)#BUT...................... when everyone leaves falin turns back and goes in herself. and laios realises that shes always been that sort#of person and theres no point in ruminating over what could have been.#now. i want to believe that had they known falin would turn back without them. that at the very least shuro would have gone in with her.#theres no way he would have let her go on her own. and frankly i dont think he would have assembled his retainers#to go save laios rip...#marcille would have gone if she had known falin would turn back. and honestly i think she mightve known her well enough to guess this irl#anyways what i was GOING to say was maybe as they venture thru the dungeon shuro gets to learn more about laios thru falins view#maybe they get to know each other more and he opens up more about how he thinks of laios and like. falin is able to explain more about him#diffuse tension and give him a better understanding. like yeah hes still annoyed at him but he has a better view of how laios is#they get close and become better friends but maybe it also helps falin make up her mind and let him down gently............................#and maybe they go and save laios but the dragon thing still happens to him#and its again a 'you felt like that all along??' situation irt him wanting to be a monster but it turns out ok and they (laishuro)#open up to one another in the end.........................#but. again im gonna be real. they would not have made it that far LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO laios the goat for real
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#im back from a week with my dad at home and at the lake#it was really nice to b home for a while but now im a mess lol#bc it really makes me wanna move back to Appalachia and not do another semester out here#and also this was our 1st trip to the lake without my mom being there. she loved the lake. she grew up on the water and was named after an#island. she died before she could use our new jetski. which my dad bought for her and she would have loved#and i stood in her sandles bc my dad keeps them out by the fireplace and my toes fit almost exactly into the impressions of her feet#and i came come with another bag full of her clothes. and i feel bad for my dad being all alone in that big house#i mean hes got the dogs but theyre 7 and 8 and theyre big boys so they probably dont have all that long left. itll be so sad when they die.#there was a moment where i was talking to the dogs and he said i sounded exactly like my mom. which was kinda intentional#on my part bc i say a lot of things bc she would say them. stolen phrases and intonations. pieces of things ive taken.#its still weird that she's just gone forever. the time in the hospital feels like it was some horrible nightmare.#and now shes never gonna kno where we end up. she's left rooms full of half tumbled rocks and half sorted photos and half organized#classroom supplies. the outlines of a person that will slowly be stitched out of existance as time moves on until theres nothing left and#the memories are gone. its just sad is all. especially bc she didnt deserve it. no one does but expecally not her.#but unfortunately life isnt about getting what you deserve. its chaos and coincidence all the way down.#unrelated
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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lmao looking at her insta highlights was a mistake
#i feel worse WHY DOES SHE HAVE TONED MUSCLES UGHHH#also my confidence has gone down a tiny bit bc why is she hanging out w all these cool ppl#how is this girl simultaneously a lawyer and also has her social life on max like give me a break#thered a photo of her walking around in heaven either before closing or after opening shes sooo#HOWEVER. i just had a call w her yesterday that made me realise my idea of romance is more romantic than her idea of romance#but also that she doesnt want to do smth super romancey on a 3rd date which according to my friends is fair but according to my heart#it is not. like why are u on a date if u dont wanna do anything romancey at that point just hang out w friends#odd of her to say that too considering our first two dated were quite romantic . anyway#yo this cafe is playing persian music nice. anyway yh#also she makes being middle eastern so gay yk the goodbye fake cheek kiss thing we do . where u like . kiss the air on the sides of the#persons face when ur saying goodbye. ygwim . yeah she doesnt do the fake air kisses she gives u two tender kisses like . anyway#i discussed the stuff she does w my friend and like why r her words so aloof and her actions so...not . and my friends reaction was#basically this is fuckboy behaviour. apparently he used to do that to girls ?? like tell them he rly liked them#and be all charming and romantic even tho he rly wasnt invested at all and he mostly wanted to hook up. like ok#im gonna kill myself then. why would u stroke my hair w my head on ur LAP THEN. WHAT IF SHE TURNS AROUND AND IS LIKE#oops it was nothing#....ill kms actually. no i womt. but anyway#also got added to the gc w the other lecturers givjng talks on the 6th so its getting more real#my friend was like did u do the script yet :))) . almost died shes so scary i love her . but . fuck two exams . crush. talk. ucl cambrdige#three conferences aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA im so anxious i dont even feel anything atp#......I HAVE NO MONEY!!! TO TOP IT OFF#my crush and i are both iranian (aka born w extremely expensive taste woven into our genes) but i wanna like#treat her w the entire 2 quid in my bank account ig ♡♡♡#crushposting
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just watched 21 jump street and looked up the cast bc thats what i do when i watch movies and found out that there was a tv show also named 21 jump street that the movie was a kinda sorta but not really sequel to the show and that the random cameo with johnny depp at the end was in fact not a random famous comedic actor cameo at all bc he was like the main character in the original tv show and that led me down a weird rabbit hole (incoming pun not intended) and learned about the other cops in that show one of them being Judy Hoffs which if youre like me ur former disney brain immediately connected that to Judy Hopps from zootopia and looked it up to see if it was intentional and apparently the name (and job) similarities were not supposed to be a reference on the zootopia team's part and its "just a play on how rabbits jump" and they were "unaware of the 21 jump street character when naming judy" which i think is some pretty big bullshit because theres no way a character who's first name is Judy and last name is hopps (spelled with two P's the way hoFFs is spelled) and just so happens to also be a young and brand new cop is just a crazy random coincidence
#no paragraph breaks bc this is how my brain works when im in lore deepdive mode#no ones gonna read this but whatever#anyway i didnt think id like 21 jump street the movie bc i usually hate 2010s R- comedy movies#and like anything jonah hill is in HAHA#but i figured ive gone long enough not knowing its references and also i felt like doing a channing tatum binge#bUt i actually giggled at a few jokes i hate to say#most of them were on channings part hes pretty funny. cant stand jonah hill tho sorry not sorry#also they look nothing alike but the amount of times i mix up tom hardy and channing tatum in my head is fucking crazy#anyway#kats movie rants#also i'll bring this up in everything thats relevant but i fucking love Zootopia ive seen it so many times#ive read and watched so many concept videos of the movie in preproduction and making ofs and docu's of that movie omfg#also yes i love nick wilde no not like that hes just silly goofy okay i just love suave sarcastic (fox) characters i swear#every time i remember how the movie plot was supposed to go (shock collars) another little piece of me dies inside because#goddamn its such a good and heartwrenching concept and i still wanna see it on the big screen SO BAD#especially all the test animations and storyboards they already did for that plot line OUGH IT LOOKED SO GOOD#and the fact that the supposed building that nick owned in the concept can be seen (delapadated) in the bkrd of the movie in a scene too BR#god i cant stop talking about it now oh god i unleashed my own beast i need to stop im stopping okay goodnight#yeah so if u cant tell i really love zootopia HAHA
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I used to have a really giant family like tons of tias and tios and cousins and i say used to cause like it seems like after my grandparents died on both sides both families seemed to never speak again and i had no chance to even try and keep hold of those ties i was in elementary school watching my parents marriage crash and burn in real time dealing with major death in the family and then subsequent family abandoning me at the tender age of 11. Hell my brothers were older and jumped ship it was just me and the horrors
#my moms dad and my dads mom were like the heads of their families and they both died really close to each other#but my grandma and a tio on my moms side died within 3 days of each other after being in hospice literally 3 doors away from each other#for months and my parents both took the roles of like taking care of everything and being the descision makers cause no one else would#which im sure was super traumatizing in everyway possible but their siblings both seemed to resent them in ways#when they didnt want to be those people but had to be and they arent even the oldest siblings they are both like 3rd youngest#but like it just ruined the families and me and mom and my dad were all at the hospital or hospice center for months#we were there every day and night i remember it so much i can get anywhere in any hospital in my town using the stairwells#like i knew them that well#it also likely ruined my parents marriage which was bumpy before the intense major tragedy#which like yaknow what fair it was a lot to deal with ontop of like trying to crawl ur way out of the recession#but after all was said and done i talk to no one on my dads side i bearly talk to my older brother#and i talk to like my nina and two tias on my moms side and occassionally a few cousins#when theyre arent being fucking insane and unhinged#idk i loved having a huge family the like going to 5 houses on christmas type#going to birthdays or weddings and seeing everyone taking at least 45 mins to say bye to everyone#and now its gone and i wont ever get it back#and its by no fault of my own cause i was literally 11 and every adult decided i was gonna pay the price too#like i think abt when i get married its not gonna be what i thought itd be or when i get my first movie in theatres#im not gonna have the major family celebration ill have all my friends which im so greafull for#but its not the same yaknow#and id love to have that relatiomship with my family again but like where do u start when its been over 10+ years#like they remember 11 year old me if they remember me#and thats part of the problem#like on my moms side specifically i have some family who acts like theyve never met me before when i used to see them every weekend#and it was a major failing on my part as an 11 year old for not keeping in touch even tho we did my mom calls everyone and she tried#but people didnt want to return it#and as for my dads side its the same and if it was a moral failing for me as an 11 yr old to not reach out and they didnt like my mom much#my grandma fucking loved her but the rest of the family didnt and like i lived w my mom and was fucking 11 i couldnt go anhwhere by myself#and i didnt like not being places without a parent and i hated sleepovers i refused and they took it so personal#and they stopped talking to my dad and bad mouthed him and still do nd ill never allow that around me my dad isnt perfect but hes a good man
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arasawa 'but are they You Know' can be so funny check this out. literally any scenario involving ichiban being nosy
#snap chats#in the funniest and most ironic way i can say it its like when someones kids really wants their parent to be happy for once#yk what i mean there's like two ways a kid meeting a stepparent can go Abject Horror and Joy#i dont have to say who the first one is. i will though masato wants to scream Why Is Everyone But Me Happy#no listen if you've been reading the essays being posted here the past week i don think ichiban hates jo#and on TOP of that i think ichi thinks jo would be happy if he and arakawa could have One Nice Night and ergo he wont be so MEAN#just no worrying about the clan ichi and everyone else has it covered you can totally rely on them <- no you cant#its like when your parents go on vacation and you comedically wreck the house by accident while theyre gone#but then you SOMEHOW get it all fixed up right before they get home. cat in the hat kind of bullshit#i just think they should have their brooklyn 99 moment. you know the one#'RESPECTFULLY captain you and the boss need alone time'#jo doesnt even get what hes trying to say until he looks at mitsu who looks about ready to jump out the window yk#like 'aniki PLEAAASE shut the fuck up you're gonna get us hit'#and its BECAUSE they arent together Like That that its especially like Put A Cork In It You're Insane#in the alternate timeline/scenario where jo Does like arakawa like that i think ichi should be annoying about it too#listen if arakawa is the only thing that prevents them from maiming each other then it'll be fine#ichiban please be the worst wingman imaginable while jo tells you to leave him alone#hes going to bottle his emotions and store it in his chest and it'll just sit and ferment there until he dies#like are we seeing the potential here. its awful i cant open any new canvases or word docs EW#maybe if i finished my fuckin SHIT..
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Thinking about Berserk again. I havent read any of the new chapters because Miura's death kind of got to me really bad so thinking about or talking about berserk at all just made me really depressed and I think I probably havent even looked at it since he passed (after I used to reread huge chunks of it like every week) but now its been like two years and Im thinking I should just accept it and give the new stuff a shot.
One thing I am always thinking about though is how Miura's death effected discussion around Berserk and how much it will continue to effect discussion. Like, I always felt Berserk never got enough criticism. You can search Berserk on here and find all my old posts complaining about how everybody was jumping the gun on calling it One Of The Greatest Manga Ever when it wasnt even done and at the time most people were convinced it hadnt been good since like what, conviction arc? And that was back before Kentaro Miura died and his death has only made the discussion even more like "Berserk is a beautiful wonderful masterpiece and anyone with problems doesnt GET IT".
So like I stopped reading under the idea that no matter what happened it wasnt gonna be what REALLY shouldve happened, now I think thats kind of unfair and maybe I should give it a shot, but I think that idea is gonna be influencing how people talk about a manga that was already being given alot of undue praise and adoration from people who seemed to mostly never have actually read it and had nothing more interesting to say about it beyond it being the manga that popularized the idea of a guy with a big big sword. I dunno.
#Also when Miura died and everybodys first questions were like what was gonna happen to berserk. I dunno#I might be lying I might just never get back to it.#Berserk still very important to me but also the fact that it is continuing at all. I dunno I guess I dont know what Miura wouldve wanted#but it kind of seems nobody did and I have this feeling in my mind of like 'is the only reason they continued Berserk is because-#-its so profitable'. but I dont know enough about the current mangaka or like Anything to really say that without feeling like a jerk.#yeah somebody liked one of my really old berserk posts so I started thinking about how much I used to talk about Berserk but also#have just been thinking alot about it again in general. I dunno..............#also when I say got depressed I mean I got convinced art was stupid and pointless for a second it was fucking bad#Like this is kind of the one time ever a celebrity dying really got to me and it was because like he was gone and everybody was just#asking about when berserk was gonna continue and again the nicest thing most people said about berserk was it#popularizing a trope in anime. It made me feel hopeless#Fine now. been two years. Sad situation but I dont think thats gonna be all berserk gets remembered for now.#yeah this is long and rambly sorry. MY blog I can start posting about berserk really sadly out of nowhere.
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sorry. still thinking
#its just been on my mind a lot more especially since talking about it with my mom in california she told me a lot i didnt know about#bc i was like 13 when it all initially happened i barely knew/was told what was going on. we just all saw him nearly dead on his floor#and then suddenly there was an ambulance and he was gone#and then he went to one of the city hospitals hours away and my mom was gone most of the time for months to be with him#and i knew he nearly died and was told later it was bc he got hiv but like that was basically it? and i knew it was from drug usage#but she told me basically everything this time. and it was just a lot#apparently i have a group of students from a texan medical college to thank for him being alive. bc they did an experimental thing on him#after his original doctor had given up hope and told my mom he was just going to die#we're not sure exactly what they did i guess it was some kind of medicine of course but like. anyway whatever it was it worked#and the thing i remember most. was my mom saying 'at least that makes it so he can help as many people as he's hurt.'#bc my brother just...has a complicated past and the things leading up to his near-death were especially#and apparently the test is gonna be in some medical journal probably. im guessing its what helped them confirm their experiment works#anyways. im just glad hes alive. but its a lot to think about
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what will i do once my cat dies?
#we already lost one cat. they aren't dead. they just.. left one day.#i kinda miss him#he was my mom's bestest friend#its weird though. when we couldn't find him i wasn't panicked or depressed...#i felt numb. like i couldn't feel anything for him or how he got lost#even now i kinda. care less than i want to#but we have another cat. the one that has been with us all this time#what will happen to me once she dies?#once i see her body lying down with no movement?#will she leave before that happens? because i kind of hope so#seeing her die might just break my heart in two#i'd rather suddenly never see her again than say goodbye to her knowing she's gone#...maybe it'll happen soon#we haven't brought her to the vet...#my mom said she was gonna take her to the vet one day#or more like. the vet would come here (to our house) and check her#she's not ill or anything#well. i hope she isn't#sorry i watched a vid of someone telling a story of how their cat died#and got a bit anxious#i'm just scared that i won't care once my cat dies#cw animal death#cw death mention
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developing an emotional attachment with a character and promptly hitting them with my beam that givesthem schizophrenia
#tongue#yes im rainerposting again get over it !!!!!!!!!!!#this post is only funny to me i feel like someones gonna take this the wrong way lmao#im working on ghe fic again i still. dont know if ill wven end up posting it#i keep making myself sad with it like unmm#rainer trying to get in the house because anna wont just listen to him and he doesnt understand why#shes scared and i mean somewhat rightfully so considering shes pretty small and rainers tall and Does Things when hes irrationally angry#and she wont just listen to him about care being lina reborn#this is the third time hes done this#leaning against the door sobbing just asking for a picture of care because really all of this was to keep her safe#mikes been gone and now cares gone too and she was the last thing that kinda reminded him of mike#and he looked after her when anna was just leaving her alone in a big dark scary house by herself#he convinced himself hes the only one who really ever cared about her#and its like she died too and really she did in a way. care A is long gone#and she wont just give him a photo. its like everything hes ever cared about is 6ft under#and all anna can see is someone whos more than willing to cause harm and is too terrified to listen to him#she just thinks he sounds fucking crazy#then within a few days hes gone again and the next time anyone sees him is christmmas eve
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#tw animal death#one of my rats is sick and im not doing well about it#i think he has an upper respiratory infection and its bad#i made a vet appointment but if im being honest i dont think hes gonna make it that long#and thres no emergency vet for exotics near me#his breathing sounds painful and its so hard to listen to#and hes not eating or drinking. ive tried hand feeding and watering him. he just wont accept it#today i picked him up. and normally he fights being picked up. but today he just let it happen#he let me cuddle him for half an hour. normally when hes out of his cage he doesnt stop moving#he only sits in his hammock. and it's so hard to see him pass like this#im trying to give him the best time that i can. ive been trying to feed him his favorite snack (goldfish crackers) and let him out often#i love him so much and ive only had him for six months and thats just not enough#i got him from a friend and im dreading having to tell her that he died#hes my little baby. when i picked him up today i gave him kisses and just kept saying 'i love you. youre my baby' over and over#watching him die is killing me. ive cried every day since he got sick. even broke down at work because#i didnt want to be away from him that long. every day i come back from work or wake up and im afraid hes gone#its 5am and i dont want to sleep because checking on him every morning is terrifying#i love him so much and dont want to live without him (or my other little babies) but i can feel the day coming#i just hope he had a good few months with me and knows how much i love him#edit: i can hear all his breathing but then all of a sudden i cant hear him anymore. and its happened a couple of times#I'm scared that tonight's the night. and i want to hold him for the last little bit. but he doesnt like to be held#he likes his hammock. so if hes passing then i want him to be comfy. i just dont want to lose him#i keep checking on him every time i cant hear his breathing. im afraid hes gone. this is so fucking hard#its past 6am but i cant stand the thought of not being there if something happens. i just love him so much
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death tw 😫😫 venting coz if i hit post its like letting it out into da universe n burning it
#so my dad is dying im pretty sure but i grew up without him#if he dies thats it all my hope or latching onto a distant shitty father is gone forever#i dont even wanna reconcile so its odd to be sad#but when he dies its gonna be like . its gone#it was the past for real#im no longer an abandoned child just a child#with a dead dad that cant actually like be angry at a person in another country being shitty#i am the person who cant be angry#well. i cried#i tried telling my mum she just vented over me ab her own issues#anyway#i feel odd#i want to cry and have someone hold me n listen to me rly lol#anyway i had a rly good day today LMFAO. life is odd#life will never stop for anyone !#diary
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