#but what they gave me worked! so thats good lol
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
The one time I plan to go out for drinks after work with someone who isn't my safe person to do social stuff with, shout out my bf I love you, and I end up in the emergency room an hour and a half before it and I have to cancel -_-
Someone I've been trying to hangout with that's canceled on me the last three times. FML.
I'm fine but yeah, I'm upset.
And lonely lol. I wanted to hangout and there was gonna be a live rock band playing. I was looking forward to that :(
#seriously tho wtf#anyway#had my first emergency room experience where there like 10 people all doing soenthing with you at once#it was kinda terrifying but hownstly im better at coping with shit that im terrified of these days#it was interesting fs tho and they stole my blood!?#and i didnt even notice?!#my blood bro! just taken#but ya i had a crazy high bpm all of a sudden#i was just laying down and it started out of no where.#i think the highest it got at the emergency room which was 210-220#which is very very not good#but what they gave me worked! so thats good lol#also shout out to my adrenaline it had my back so good#felt like a roller coaster when they have me the drug that would instantly slow down my heart#thats better than feeling like youre gonna die so ya i love adrenaline my pookie
0 notes
Text
watch my body disintegrate into a pile of ash like a cartoon character who just got struck by a lightning bolt (JOINT PAIN JOINT PAIN JOINT PAIN JOINT PAIN) (just got off work)
#salmon jibberish#god you horribly wipe out on your bike and injure yourself ONE TIME in middle school and suddenly youre inflicted with lifelong knee/joint a#d leg pain 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄#worm lore drop 🔥🔥🔥#can you really call it lore its nothing crazy#i was riding my bike w my friend and their mom and we were on a steep hill and i got scared and braked and flew off my bike and down#the hill#i got to miss like i think a week or two of gym because the scab on my knee was so big i literally couldnt bend it#it'd melt off every time i took a shower too#<- that was probably kinda gross sorry#scabs on both my knees#one was bigger and made my knee unable to bend#and one on the palm of one of my hands that made me unable to bend my thumb#we didnt go to the doctor or anything for it i just didnt do anything for like a week lol#afterward one of my other friends said my knees look weird 💀#<- not mad abt that i just think its funny#me when i yap in the tags#sorry gang#and of course i got myself a job that requires genuinely running around all day#my legs have given out twice at work and thats what finally pushed me to get a knee brace#just one for now bcs . expensive . i just gotta guess which leg o think is gonna give me the most trouble that day#idk i just tend to deny myself help . i dont think i deserve it . i really only got pushed for this bcs i didnt want to get obliterated by a#dog at work if my knee gave out 1) while walking a dog or 2) while in the daycare in a crowd of dogs#idk i dont like making my own life easier i dont think i deserve it . i dont think im suffering enough to need help but yk#ANYWAY#good news is we have ROTISSERIE CHICKEN FIR DINNER LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO#IM GONNA DRAW NOW 💥💥🔥🔥🔥
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
alright. applying for an internal position that im absolutely not qualified for bc my supervisor said i should. ok ok ok
#she said what we both know that im not the ideal candidate BUT she thinks i can make a strong case for myself and that shes happy to be a#a reference for me#and that some coworkers had spoke highly of me and my work ethic unprompted in meetings i wasnt in#and she gave me a lot of insights from the manager for the department im going for so... yeah. yeah!!#worse case i just dont get an interview or i interview and dont move on but thats just more experience#anyway. i hate this shit so im trying to psych myself up lol. it does feel good that all my coworkers want me on full time#ramblings
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
watched the first 2 episodes of acolyte and so far i like every character except for the main one lol. (also is her name osha as in occupational safety and health administration??)
#star wars#the acolyte#acolyte#the nemoidian faces look really good#definitely the best looking prequel alien from the last few shows#rather ironic to name Miss Hazardous Workplace Conditions 'Osha' lol#the assassin lady was really cool looking#it was pretty funny to see that the 120bby sith assassins are reasonably friendly to each other#and at least help each other somewhat#and then there's poor ventress (and briefly savage ig) who just get force-zapped a bunch#the conversation between sol and vernesta(?) at the end of ep 2 was also pretty funny#vernestra: well we have to take time to Thoughtfully Deliberate this situation so we can respond wisely :)#sol: SHE IS ACTIVELY TRYING TO KILL ME???#poor guy hope the situation works out better for him#hey at least his new padawan (orange theelin) is smart#anyways might draw one of them idk#more inclined to draw nightsisters and soft wars rn but we'll see#whos the sith(?) cant be plageius bc hes a muun right?#how old is palpatine again? was the acolyte project his Sith Senior Thesis or something like that#unrelated but the scene of the jedi running around the ice planet bareheaded was so infuriating lol#PUT ON YOUR HOODS I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM#maybe i'll draw hats for them all#i found it a bit weird that they basically gave osha the anakin background? having her be *eight* specifically when she got to the temple#felt a bit off#kind of like it's taking away from the caution around anakin's induction? since i think koth was four and that was considered 'late'#so for a non-prophecied random kid to show up at age eight?#on the other hand maybe they only got cautious about age after this whole debacle happened? idk i'll see what happens#ok i think thats all
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm gonna post this hopefully quickly and then go make bracelets to distract myself bc I wanna get it out but not have to come back to it later . And I will be whining about this on main a lot so I might as well give yall some context first
#i got soft fired.#they said it was bc summertime is slow and they dont have the hours for me#but they also said smth about my 3 month evaluation ? which i was not involved in but i felt like it implied something about my performance#but they didn't say it was about my performance not being good enough#and they also didn't say its just bc of the hours but you're a good employee so don't worry about that#they said they still might call me at some point if they have hours for me again#the words fired and let you go were not used#but. i stg they just hired a new froster. idk for sure but i thought they did#and one of the cashiers (the girl i know actually 😐) said she might get trained in frosting this summer#even tho by company policy youre not supposed to work in the kitchen if youre under 18. shes 16#but there was no warning or critiques or anything#there was when i first started#but not for a long time now#the manager gave me one note like 2 or 3 weeks ago and not since and that was the first time in a while#i had a panic attack when i got home#idk what im gonna do and idk what to think or feel about it rn#i just . yea#thats whats going on in my life lol anyway
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
biting and clawing trying to write an essay rn
#i can write essays! but this teacher drives me insane#because ik no matter what i do its not going to work#not a single person this year has written an essay thats gotten in the 90s in her class#i have an 89 on one and thats it. thats the highest.#we do everything she fucking tells us to do and its not good enough#on my last essay she went over it. and marked all the stuff she didnt like. And i fucking fixed it.#and she was like 'lol no. 89'#and she has like a billion comma rules that she hasnt told us. so all of us lose points for commas every fucking time.#same shit with projects.#for our last project she told our team that we had her favorite project and she really really liked it#I even spent like $40 getting shit for it#And she gave us a fucking 82#We went over each fucking requirement she wanted like 5 times and made sure we had everything#We did everything she FUCKING WANTED US TO#AND SHE DIDNT EXPLAIN THAT GRADE EVER??#agh. i hate her so much. like girl go back to south dakota and leave us the fuck alone.#she doesnt even teach. she tells us boring ass stories about her life in south dakota and how she hates grammarly#like girl clearly you need grammarly because youve spelled shakespeare as shaeksepare twice now#she makes me hate english
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have never felt more dumb by a class than i did by language literacy when i was 15
#basically the worst part was i thought it was just gonna be and english ext type thing but no#now looking back at it i was in bottom english too so 2016 was the year i lost faith in the english department#anyways i remember my mum actually called the school and went ‘this class is making my daughter feel dumb and not in a good way’#literally its bc you selected her for it and then are reteaching her fucking english grammer#*granmar#enough on that tho at least i worked my way out#and there was no yearly either lol#i have stories about how fucking incompetent my schools english department made me feel 7 years ago but you know what? im fine now#gonna continue writing my silly stories out of fucking spite#that combined with my ex friend’s math test story is kinda fucked#basically in year seven they altered the questions in her’s and several other’s tests to make it easier#then when they did well it would “boost their confidence”#i repressed it fr and it just came back to me then#and i was like… oh thats the point i gave up on them! it was long before my yr 12 teacher decided to hate me!!!#they tried so hard to make me a woman in stem
1 note
·
View note
Text
-_____- ive been wanting to wait until i have like much better insurance when my permanent position comes thru but i might just cave and make a dr's appointment for my. ongoing ear infection thats been on-and-off for like. years at this point
#its been worse the past few days and im like grrrrrrr#i might as well get a starting appointment with a new pcp. cause like i feel like they usually need to see you with a new patient appt#before you get into any like. actual problems you might have. and might want to like.. see a doctor for#which i understand on some level but thats kind of crazy to me#last time i went to a doctor for this ear thing he was shocked because he gave me 2 different steroids to treat it#and neither of them worked on my ear. he was like yuuuup thats still red and swollen on the inside. huh weird#and he gave me some eardrops for it which also didnt work#so im like what now. i USED to think it was due to the pressure from my sideways wisdom tooth pressing on that ear canal#and honestly getting them removed DID seem to help for awhile. and i was like ahh that fixed it ... but it came back like a year later#so now im like now what. i feel like i might need an ear specialist at this point#but i'll wait and see what a new doctor has to say about my ears and how we go about treating it i guess#the place i get obgyn at has pcps which is like a pretty good place.#i was looking for someone specifically trans knowledgeable but i might just cave and go there#cause i do trust that place with my health now#it MIGHT just be that my ear canals are shaped poorly which makes it like. condusive to getting infections#which like. well what do i do about that i guess. ummmmmm ....??#i could believe that cause parts of my body are shaped a lil funny due to like. my birth circumstances#i have bones doctors have hemmed and hawed over if they were broken like huh????#and they bascially were like wait ohhh you were born with bones shaped weird. lol#you cant really tell just from looking at my hands if i dont show you but my hands are shaped like curved outwards from one another#people think im doing a gross-out party trick when i show them and theyre like eww stooop but im like thats just my hands LOL
0 notes
Text
have a whole short story due tomorrow and i finished my outline yesterday......
#she even gave the whole class an extra week extension i hate myself#i just like. made it hard for myself and ran into an issue i run into with essays where. i know all the info i need to put in. but the#order i put it in greatly affects how it will be written and i cant know what order will work until i write it but i dont know how to write#it without knowing what order the info is in....so i spend so much time writing the beginning and then just an outline#and i went with a plot thats a bit complicated when it comes to that. so i finally know where im putting stuff but now as i'm writing it#that is. shifting but i did really need the outline bc my brain is a mess. and idk focus is so so hard i work in bursts i take all fucking#day to get only a little done and starting even is so hard.#anyway im writing it and i do not think my prose is good right now but what can i do lol i don't have time to write a full draft and rewrit#it better. which tbh is tough for me to do in general like we had to do a character bio setting study plot work assignment for it and im#finding it hard to translate what i wrote in that to prose that fits in a story idk.#i am going to be soooo stressed tonite.
0 notes
Text
sitting there like has my art gotten better over time or do I just add way too much unnecessary detail now
#but lineart becomes honestly really meditative for me at times especially if im adding texture to something#i will say at least i dont pick such ugly colors anymore. i used to always have reslly bright colors and then i thought it was too much#and overcorrected imo so everything was desaturated and boring#oh i also used to color in the lines for like every single color on the character? idk how to describe it but it was tedious#i like it on other people's art but i dont have the patience and i dont like how it looks when my lines are “cleaner”#sometimes i do miss how i used to not care if what i drew was “cringy”#but i think im coming back out of that considering all i draw is like. gay shit and elves and various iterations of myself and also my ocs#i should redraw some really really old art after what im working on maybe#i almost started working on a redraw of when i drew yavanna in likr 2017-18 but i dont like the design i gave her at all#minus the weird branch ears those were cool#mostly im just frustrated it still takes me hours to draw lol. i dont know why i get insecure about it or about art in general#i guess bc no one in my family really does so they have this idea im good at it#and i wanna grab them and shake them sometimes and explain all the reasons im actually not and all the mistakes i regularly make#i dont know if that makes any sense and i dont know why i struggle to just take the compliment#i guess because i know im not good enough at it for it to be a job? except thats not it either because ive almost always wanted to write#its very dumb and weird. especially considering i dont really draw for other people. i mean i like when people like my art but unless its#for somebody specific im not necessarily going to take it very hard at all if its not to their taste. i just do it because i enjoy it#and because there are things i only know how to express through writing or drawing. and when one doesnt work sometimes its the other#maybe i just get frustrated i cant be good at everything#its not realistic but i always end up wanting to do so many things and getting frustrated when i dont pick them up right away#because OF COURSE i dont#ok where was i going with this#its nearly 2am and my head is pounding again i dont even know what day this makes it. at least a week?#i dont know
1 note
·
View note
Text
How I manifested my dad being the CEO of a big company:
1. I affirmed for a bit but then I didnt feel like affirming and I had other things i wanted to affirm about so i stopped affirming and I would only affirm for like 2 to 3 times like once a day maybe lol.
2. I accepted the fact that my dad has a great job. It was hard for me to accept something just like that but I pushed through that feeling. Everytime I would see him at home and not at office, I would just think "Oh well he is working from home for a bit"
3. Everytime I had thoughts like "My dad doesn't have a job" I would change that to "no he does! what am i talking about lol"
4. I didnt try to "feel it real" or robotically affirm. These methods are amazing and 100% works and robotically affirming is something I really like too and do often but I just didnt want to put more efforts in this because I knew I could do it even without doing the methods.
5. Did I feel miserable sometimes when I would see him getting worried or frustrated? Yes. But it didnt matter. Everytime I would feel really frustrated, I didnt do anything and just let myself feel what I want to feel and moved on.
6. Unlike my other desires, this one wasnt on my mind all the time. I didnt think about it that much. Only when something in the 3d contradicted with what I desired did I think about it.
It doesnt matter if you're obsessed with what you desire or if you arent. It doesnt matter if you think about it all the time or if you dont. It doesnt matter if you're manifesting in steps or if you're just accepting it as true. It will still work regardless. Because everything is an assumption.
A bit backstory: My dad lost his job around December of last year and since my family is financially stable, it didnt bother me that much. But then months passed and he wasnt getting a job even though he was really qualified. I was busy with my exams so I still didnt think about it much. But then I was bothered seeing him sad and at home all the time, so i decided to manifest a job. It's a great job in one of the best companies in our country so I'm really happy. It's not like he was a CEO of any company before. He is really good at his job but getting a CEO position in such a huge company is a really big deal. He gave an interview in that company MONTHS ago but they didnt get back to him after the interview so we all thought he didnt get the job. So it was a really big deal that they suddenly decided to employ him. I would show yall photos of the car they gave him but I'm scared any of my family member will be on this app and they will find out😭 not that they care about it. They are chill lol.
Tldr: Affirmed whenever I felt like it and accepted that he has a job and it's a great position. Thats all really.
#law of assumption#void state#affirm#affirm and persist#neville goddard#assume and persist#shifting#loa success#reality shifting#lucid dreaming#void success#dream life#affirmations#manifestation#manifesting
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
it'll be ok | LN4
lando norris x female!reader
warnings: unexpected pregnancy, talk of throwing up/being nauseous, suggestive actions implied if you get what i’m saying, early on pregnancy symptoms, mention of alcohol and being drunk (not the reader!!), lando being a simp for his girlfriend in every aspect of his life.
note: i know how pregnancy works and i’m not saying that reader got pregnant on this trip, her and lando are just h**ny 😭 (increased sex drive is a symptom of pregnancy though so..…)
double note: i’m not sure how lily (oscar’s lily) is as a person but she seems like a sweetheart so i went off those vibes and i referred to alexandra by her full name cause if i said alex, someone might think alex albon lol
okay thats it. enjoy 😉
word count: a little over 5k
masterlist | taglist
You and Lando had been dating now for close to 2 years. You were happy with the life you were making with him and he was happy to have you by his side through his success.
Everything was going great, at least it was up until 5 minutes ago. Now here you were sitting in the bathroom to the villa you had rented out for a vacation with friends, holding a pregnancy test not sure what to do with the fact that there were two lines looking back at you.
48 Hours Before Finding Out
“Omg this is so much more prettier than the pictures” you said as you, Lando and some of your closest friends which included some of the other drivers and their girlfriends, walked into the villa
“This is gonna be great” Lando exclaimed excitedly while wrapping an arm around your waist “Alright everyone get their rooms sorted and when you’re done, meet down by the beach” he told everyone, earning a round of “okays” and “sounds goods”.
You and Lando made your way to the master suite on the second floor, seeing as you had been the ones to suggest the vacation and rent the villa, it was only fair you got the biggest room.
“Lan I don’t know which bathing suit to wear” you asked as you stared at the bathing suits you had brought.
“Doesn’t matter to me, either way it’ll end up on the floor later” he whispered in your ear as he came up behind you
You blushed at his flirty remark “You’re naughty” you joked with him
“Only for you” he reiterated as he put his hands on your hips and started kissing your neck
“Lan if we start doing that, we’re never gonna leave” you tried being serious even though the shudder in your voice gave you away, telling Lando he was succeeding in distracting you.
This happened quite frequently. Lando knew you so well and he made you feel things, none of your previous boyfriends had ever made you feel.
He continued kissing your neck, knowing exactly where to put his lips. You felt yourself giving in with the way he was kissing you and how his hands were slowly moving down from your hips, you knew you wouldn’t be making it to the beach anytime soon.
-
You and Lando eventually left your room, joining your friends on the beach.
“Where the hell were you two” Max asked as he sat on a beach chair with everyone else doing their own thing
“Y/N needed help picking a bathing suit” Lando responded smirking, knowing Max wouldn’t believe him but also knew he wouldn’t push for the truth, he was smart enough to put two and two together.
“Babe I’m gonna go in the water, care to join?” Lando asked turning to you as your hands were interlocked
“No I’m okay for now, I’m gonna try and tan a bit then I’ll come join you” you told him, he smiled at your answer and then gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and started making his way towards the water to join the friends of yours that were currently playing water volleyball.
You spent the rest of your day in between tanning with the girls and playing in the water with Lando. Once everyone was done with the sun, you all made your way back to the house where you went to your perspective rooms to rest a little before you went out for dinner.
You felt extra tired which on any other day you might be more concerned about but you had been travelling between time zones and then spent a significant amount of time in the sun, so in your head it made sense to be this tired.
Once you had changed from your bathing suit into some clean undies and a oversized T-shirt, you crashed on yours and Lando’s bed where he was already sitting scrolling on his phone
“Lan im gonna take a quick nap, wake me up in like an hour so I can start getting ready” you told him as you curled into a ball nuzzling your face into the pillows
“Sure thing sweets” he said leaning down to kiss your head before going back to his phone, keeping one hand free to play with your hair knowing that always helped put you to sleep.
-
Lando stayed true to his word and gently woke you up about an hour into your nap, not wanting to, seeing as you looked so peaceful but knowing you’d be upset if he let you sleep longer than you wanted.
“Babe” he said gently stroking his hand over your cheek
“Hmm” you mumbled still half asleep
“You wanted me to wake you so you could start to get ready” he told you smiling at how cute you looked
“Why are you a good boyfriend and actually listen to what I say” you grumbled
He chuckled “C’mon we can take a shower together, that’ll wake you up” he suggested knowing you’d get what he was implying
You opened one eye looking at him to see if he was joking but knew he wasn’t when you saw the look in his eyes, this got you to open both eyes and slowly stretch, waking up fully in the process
“Alright pretty boy let’s go” you said as you got off the bed causing a laugh to leave Lando as he got off the bed, following you into the bathroom.
-
Once everyone including you and Lando were ready, you decided to visit a cute Italian restaurant nearby. Everyone in the group all loved Italian so it worked out perfectly.
While you were walking to the restaurant, you felt a slight squeeze in your stomach but chalked it up to that all you had to eat today was some fruit and a small salad.
Lately your appetite hadn’t been what it normally was, you pushed this thought aside though wanting to enjoy your vacation and deciding you’d worry about it once you got back home.
After some walking you reached the restaurant, Charles taking point and speaking to the hostess in Italian to get a table. They brought you to the part of the restaurant that was more private and made sure there were enough seats for everyone.
The host got you all menus and water, letting you know your server would be there momentarily.
You politely smiled at her and offered her thanks in Italian, you may have loved everything Italian but your knowledge of the language didn’t go past basic phrases and words.
You sat next to Lando and Lily, Oscars girlfriend. The two of you had gotten close with your boyfriends being teammates. You felt that squeeze in your stomach again, this time more intense so you casually reached for your water and hoped it would help.
Once you had drank enough water to feel better, you went back to look at your menu
“Baby are you okay? You just practically chugged your water” Lando asked quietly turning to you
You nodded “Yeah, I'm good, I just didn’t realize how thirsty I was” you lied offering him a smile, he seemed to believe you and went back to the menu, Lily however offered you a strange look, having overheard your words and not fully believing you but deciding not to push.
You could still feel that slight squeeze in your stomach and was apprehensive to order a large meal so you went for a simple soup, figuring it was the safest option.
When everyone’s food arrived, you caught a whiff of the food around you and suddenly that squeeze in your stomach was becoming too much to handle. You didn’t want to bring attention to yourself but if you didn’t go to the washroom now, you weren’t sure what would happen so you turned to Lily.
“Lils I need your help” you whispered to the girl who had just taken a bite of her food
“Is everything okay? You look pale” she asked concerned
“I’m gonna throw up and desperately need to get away from the table” you explained trying to stuff the nausea down until you were somewhere else
“Say no more” the girl said then turned to Oscar letting him know she was using the washroom, he smiled and moved out of the booth, luckily he was on the end
“Y/N will you come with?” She asked, acting like the washroom was her idea and just wanted a friend to accompany her
Your name sparked Lando’s interest and turned to face you
“Babe I’ll be back im just gonna go to the washroom with Lily” you told him quickly before getting out of the booth, offering Oscar a small smile to say sorry for interrupting his meal
Then you and Lily made your way to the washroom, as much as you would’ve preferred to run there, you didn’t want to seem weird so you casually bit your lip and hoped you could get there in time.
“Girls are so strange in always wanting someone with them to go to the washroom” Lando said to Oscar eating his food
Oscar just shrugged “I’m used to it at this point” he replied to his friend and teammate before both drivers went back to their previous conversation with the others around them.
Meanwhile in the washroom, you were in a stall on your knees with your head over the toilet. Luckily Lily was there to hold back your hair and rub your back.
“Are you okay? Did you eat something you shouldn’t have?” She asked after you were done and had stood up, using some tissues to wipe your mouth
“I didn’t have anything weird to eat, just some fruit and a small salad” you told her as you fixed your hair and did your best to get the taste of vomit out of your mouth. Remembering you had gum in your purse and silently saying a prayer to your past self for putting it there.
“That’s strange” she said even though you could sense there was more the girl wanted to say but held back
“I don’t know how I'm gonna get through dinner. The smell of everything is what triggered this” you told her turning to her
“Maybe just tell Lando you aren’t feeling the greatest and are gonna walk back to the Villa” she suggested
“He wont let me go alone, he’ll want to join me and I don’t want to take him away from everyone” you explained
“I’ll go back with you. I’ll just tell Oscar to bring my food home in a to go box” she offered
“Are you sure Lils?” You asked the girl, feeling bad
“That’s what friends are for” she smiled
“Okay, let’s go then” you told her
-
When you made your way back to the table, Lando looked at you, you could see there was some concern behind his eyes probably because of how long you had been in the washroom
You slid in the booth to tell him you and Lily were gonna head back
“I’m just not feeling super great and don’t want to take you away from everyone so Lily’s gonna walk back with me” you explained to him
“Are you okay? What are you feeling? I’ll walk back with you, I don’t mind” he told you the concern only worsening
“Babe I'm fine, really, I'm sure a good nights rest is all I need and then tomorrow I’ll be good” you reassured him, offering him a small smile
“Okay but text me if you need anything or want me to come back” he told you which you nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before getting out of the booth and walking to the exit with Lily.
“Where’s Lily and Y/N going?” Charles asked
“Y/N’s not feeling the great so they’re going back to the villa” Lando answered him
Charles nodded then went back to talking to his girlfriend, Alexandra.
Lando shared a look with Oscar as both of their girlfriends had left them
“Did Lily say anything?” Lando asked Oscar as they moved closer now that there was some space between them
“No, just that she was going back with Y/N” he told him. He could see Lando was worried “I’m sure she’ll be fine and Lily will text if anything happens” Oscar did his best to reassure the Brit. Lando just nodded and silently went back to his food.
-
24 Hours Before Finding Out
The next day, you had woken up and luckily you didn’t feel any feelings of nausea, hopefully that was an indicator that today was going to be different from yesterday and you could enjoy your trip.
You got out of bed and made your way to the kitchen, you had a strange craving for orange juice which wasn’t normally your go to breakfast drink but you weren’t mad about it, seeing as the orange juice in the fridge was freshly squeezed.
You smiled when you poured yourself a tall glass and went to sit on the patio furniture outside enjoying the beautiful view.
You pulled your phone out, scrolling through TikTok. You tried to avoid TikTok because most of the time you’d see videos of your boyfriend or any sort of f1 content but today you gave it a chance.
So far it was going great until you saw a video of this creator explaining their battle with cancer and how they were finally in remission. You felt the tears gathering in your eyes but figured it was just your hormones and you being a sensitive person.
Then you moved from TikTok to Instagram and saw a post about puppy adoptions and suddenly you couldn’t hold the tears back and that’s how Lando found you, crying over your phone
“Babe what’s wrong?” He asked instantly pulling the chair next to you, rubbing your back
“These puppies, they’re all up for adoption” you told him, showing him the rescue centre’s instagram highlighting all the dogs they had up for adoption.
Lando found you the cutest for crying over dogs “Why are you crying though?” he asked still rubbing your back
You shrugged, wiping your eyes with the back of your sleeve “I don’t know, they just all look so cute and I want them to find their forever homes” you tried to explain why you were crying, even if you didn’t fully understand why.
“You’re adorable” he smiled at you “How about when we get back, we can try and organize an adoption event with the centre, I’m sure the attention from an f1 driver should help” he suggested.
He would do anything to see you smile even if that meant having to talk with his PR manager about organizing a puppy adoption event sponsored by McLaren.
The idea brought a smile to your face and you sniffled “Thats really sweet of you Lan” you told him
“We’ll get all those dogs adopted” you leaned over giving your boyfriend a hug. The tears had subsided which Lando was grateful for, he hated seeing you cry.
He hugged you back, kissing the top of your head “Anything for you sweets” he reassured you.
-
After your moment, you and Lando joined the rest of your friends inside. You all enjoyed a nice breakfast together, then once the dishes were dealt with, you all went your own ways, everyone wanting to do something different.
You and Lando planned to go take some pictures around the area. That was one of the things that drew you two to each other, both having a passion for photography.
On your first date, you spent so much time sharing pictures and the stories that went with them so when you started dating, it became something you did together, whenever you could.
You were walking up to your room when Kika called your name. You turned looking in the direction of where your name had come, seeing Kika sticking her head out of her and Pierre’s room.
“Whats up? Is everything okay?” you asked as you approached their room.
“Yeah, I just was wondering if you had a tampon or a pad, I got my period and just realized I didn’t bring anything” she chuckled
“Oh yeah, I have tampons in my room. I’ll bring you a few to get you through until you can go to a local store” you told the girl, she smiled at you “Thank you, youre an angel”
You just smiled and then turned walking to your room, going straight to the washroom, to look through your toiletries bag. As you looked at the mini travel sized bag you brought filled with tampons, it hit you, you had never gotten your period.
You were supposed to get it right before the trip and the last few days of your period should’ve been the first couple days you were away but as you got ready for vacation, you still hadn’t gotten it which was why you brought a weeks worth figuring you’d end up getting it on the trip but you still hadn’t gotten it and that sparked a fear within you.
You quickly grabbed a few for Kika and closed the bag. As you turned to leave the washroom, you bumped into Lando “Oh sorry babe” you told him, you must’ve seemed frazzled judging by the expression Lando offered you
“Are you okay?” he asked “Oh yeah, just need to give something to Kika” you told him hiding the tampons behind your back.
Obviously Lando knew what a period was, having a mother, 2 sisters and a girlfriend, he was used to it and had they been for you, you wouldn’t have cared but you didn’t want to make Kika uncomfortable so you with held those details from him.
“Oh okay..well I’m ready to go whenever you want to go take some photos” he told you, offering you his typical Lando smile. You smiled, leaning up to kiss his lips “I can be ready in a few minutes” you told him once you pulled away.
Then moved around him, being sure he couldn’t see what was behind your back before leaving the room, walking to Kika’s. You knocked on the door, she answered almost immediately “You’re my lifesaver. I owe you” she told you once you handed her the tampons.
“Really glad you said that, I need you to get me something from the store whenever you go” you told her biting your bottom lip, something you did when you were nervous
“What’s up?” she asked
“Can you get me a couple pregnancy tests” you whispered, not wanting anyone to hear. Kika’s eyes grew in size “Woah, really?” she confirmed, you just nodded, not saying anything.
“Yeah of course. Want me to leave them in your suitcase while you’re out?” she offered
“That’d be great. Thank you” you told her
“Do you really think you’re” she started before gesturing to your stomach instead of saying the word
“Honestly I’m not too sure, it didn’t cross my mind until moments ago when I realized I missed my period” you explained, she nodded along
“Well you aren’t alone regardless of the results. We’re all here for you” she reassured you, you smiled at her words.
“Thanks Kika, I appreciate that” you told her “Anyways I should go and get ready, Lan and I are going to take some photos around the area, I’ll see you later” you told her offering her a goodbye before walking back to yours and Lando’s room.
You quickly changed into something clean, washed your face, tied your hair into a high ponytail and then slipped on your converse to go meet Lando downstairs.
yourusername posted on instagram
landonorris, francisca.cgomez, oscarpiastri, mclaren & others liked
out exploring 🧡🎞️🥰
tagged: landonorris
view all comments
fan2: they’re so cute
fan3: y/n giving us the lando content
fan4: the y/nlando crumbs
landonorris: my favourite adventure partner 🧡
╰ liked by yourusername
francisca.cgomez: my faves ☺️
╰ liked by yourusername
-
You and Lando ended up having an awesome time. You walked around and took plenty of photos. Yours were of the area, some of the locals, some of Lando, a good variety meanwhile Lando’s were mostly of you.
He called you his muse the first time you asked him why he took so many pictures of you but by now you had grown used to it and didn’t question it.
In the midst of walking around, you had grabbed a quick bite to eat at a cute cafe. You went with a fruit parfait and water, figuring it was the safest option not wanting to risk being sick.
After being out for a couple hours, you eventually made your way back to the villa. When you got back, you got a text from Kika after passing her in the kitchen.
Kika: ‘They’re in your suitcase, under a pile of bathing suits’
You quickly texted her back
Y/N: ‘Thank you. Now I owe you’
Kika: ‘If you end up having a girl, name her Francisca 😌’
You laughed, not answering her but rather hearting the message then going to find the tests.
When you walked into your room, you heard Lando in the washroom, so you checked your suitcase to double check where they were and then once you had confirmation, covered them back up.
You had plans with everyone to go out tonight so you wouldn’t be able to test until tomorrow. You weren’t sure how you were gonna avoid drinking tonight.
It’s not as if you were a heavy drinker, you just enjoyed doing shots while you were out and you could handle your alcohol well so nights out never phased you.
Tonight however to be cautious incase you were pregnant you had to avoid alcohol.
You sighed, so far this trip you had spent more time stressed out then relaxed and you weren’t sure how much more you could handle before you exploded from the uncertainty.
You heard Lando finishing in the washroom so you quickly grabbed an outfit from your suitcase before shutting it.
“I thought you were gonna join me in the shower” Lando said when he walked out, his curls wet from the water
“Sorry my love, I took too long trying to figure out what to wear” you lied, offering him a soft smile
“It’s okay, I can think of a couple ways you can make it up to me” he winked at you, you blushed.
“Your cheeky” you told him smiling as he laughed at your comment.
You quickly got yourself ready and then you made your way downstairs with Lando to meet everyone else. Once everyone was ready to go, you made your way to the local club.
On the way, Kika linked her arm with yours and walked a bit up from the boys.
“Did you test?” She asked in a low tone, you subtly shook your head
“I need your help tonight avoiding alcohol” you replied keeping your voice low
She nodded “Don’t worry, we’ll get you a mocktail at the bar and you can either sip on it through the evening or keep going back for the same one. Then with shots, we’ll tell the bartender to give you water” she explained still keeping her voice low, you offered her a small smile
“I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here. You and Lily have both been the best” you exclaimed, Kika just smiled and gave you a side hug
“That’s what friends do” she told you.
-
Once you got to the club, Kika went to get your drinks and made sure to tell the bartender the plan. The bartender was a female and without even having to explain why, somehow she understood and told Kika to always give you the shot with a rounder base.
So far everything had been going smoothly and once people became more intoxicated, it was easier to let loose and not keep up the show as much as you had been.
Surprisingly you were having a great time sober, just getting to dance with everyone and enjoy being with your friends, this was exactly what you needed and it took your mind off what you had to do tomorrow.
Currently you were dancing with Lando, his hands were on your waist and you could smell the alcohol on his breath. It didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would.
“Babyyyyy” he said into your ear due to the loud music
“Yes Lan?” You asked laughing at your boyfriends behaviour
“I love youuu” he told you stretching out the you. You smiled at him
“I know. I love you too” you told him running a hand through his curls, he closed his eyes enjoying the feeling
“Can we go back to our place, I just want to be alone with you” he told you, pulling you closer and nuzzling his face in your neck, breathing in your perfume.
“What about our friends?” You asked him, even though you knew they’d be fine and you wouldn’t mind alone time with Lando
“They’ll be fine” he said as he started kissing your neck, you shuddered a bit at the sensation.
“Don’t start doing that here or we won’t be able to stop” you told him even though you didn’t want him to stop
“I don’t want to stop” he said pulling his lips away to answer you before leaning down and kissing you.
You felt yourself getting weaker in the knees. This was the effect Lando had on you.
“Okay fine, let’s leave then” you said in between breaths, he smiled and then grabbed your hand, intertwining his with yours and carefully made his way to the door.
“Where are you going?” Kika asked as you passed her and Pierre
“Back to the Villa. See you later, stay safe” you told her quickly offering a wave over your shoulder
She chuckled “Children having a child” she muttered under her breath
“What did you just say?” Pierre asked his girlfriend
Kika didn’t think he had heard with the music “Nothing” she quickly said
“No I swear you said” he started but she stopped him before he could finish.
“Pierre just drop it for now. Please” she asked. The look they shared said enough. He nodded and then they went back to dancing.
She hoped he wouldn’t say anything further on the topic, her boyfriend had a tendency to spread gossip even if it wasn’t always intentional but hopefully this time, he’d keep it to himself.
Back at the Villa, you and Lando were having a great time and took advantage of the empty house, getting to be loud as you pleased. If you weren’t already pregnant, there’s a good possibility after tonight, you might’ve been.
-
Moments Before Finding Out
The next morning, you woke up wrapped in the duvet and Lando. You smiled at how peaceful he looked. Then you remembered what you had to do and suddenly you felt the nerves creep back up on you.
You sighed and carefully got out of bed, being sure not to wake Lando. Thankfully he was a heavy sleeper when he had been drinking.
You crept over to your suitcase, finding the pregnancy tests and taking them to the washroom. You had googled that testing in the morning was the best time so that’s what you were doing.
You locked the door and then opened the first box. Taking the test and sitting on the toilet. You quickly peed on the stick and then placed it back on the counter, on top of a piece of toilet paper. You finished up and then pulled your sleep shorts back up and set the timer on your phone. Sitting on the edge of the toilet.
You closed your eyes trying your best to keep your breathing steady. Everything would be fine. Lando loved you and even if this was unexpected, he wouldn’t leave you, at least you didn’t think he would, he wasn’t like that. You did some more deep breaths until your timer went off and you quickly silenced it not wanting to wake up Lando.
You shakily stood up from the toilet and with your shaking hands, reached for the test and that’s when you saw, the two lines looking up at you, indicating you were pregnant.
-
After Finding Out
After the first positive, you had to do the other 3 tests to be sure and of course those all came back positive. You put them back in one of the boxes and just stood there in shock.
You were pregnant. You were going to be a mom and Lando was going to be a dad. You wanted to cry but you also knew once you started you wouldn’t be able to stop.
You weren’t sure how long you stayed in the washroom until you heard Lando call your name, you knew you had to tell him now or else you’d drive yourself mad keeping it in.
You opened the door and made your way back to the bed. Seeing Lando sitting up rubbing his eyes, he must’ve just woken up.
“Lan, I need to tell you something” you told him biting your lip due to your nerves. He looked confused
“Is everything okay? Did something happen?” He asked as you made your way to sit next to him. You sat with your feet tucked under you
You reached for his hand “Nothing happened” you reassured him then took a deep breath before continuing
“I’m pregnant” you told him trying to keep your voice steady and calm not wanting to show your nerves, already knowing Lando would have plenty of his own.
“Sorry but I think I heard you incorrectly; did you say pregnant?” He asked rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
You nodded your head, not sure what was going through his mind at the moment. You sat in silence for what felt like a lifetime, the longer the more nervous you got.
Lan was never speechless and this scared you “Lan please say something” you said, feeling yourself wanting to cry even more now
He must’ve sensed you were on the verge of tears “Baby I'm sorry, come here” he said opening his arms which you gladly accepted and buried your head in his chest, the tears finally leaving.
“It’s unexpected but it’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out together” he said rubbing your back “I love you and there’s no one else I’d want to have children with, I just thought it’d be a bit further down the road but this is okay. Baby’s are a good thing regardless of when they come” he told you.
You pulled away, wiping your eyes “So you aren’t gonna leave?” You asked as you hiccuped
“Not a chance. You’re stuck with me for life now” he told you smiling. You returned the smile finally feeling better.
You and Lando spent the rest of the morning cuddled up, talking about your baby, what you thought they’d look like, how they’d act, if they were a boy or a girl.
At some point you must’ve started to drift off cause you found yourself cuddled up next to Lando as he played with your hair, subconsciously your hand found its place on your stomach and Lando kissed your head.
He loved you and would do anything for you and now that meant your baby as well. The two of you were his world and he planned on spending the rest of his life making sure you both knew how much he loved you both.
-
taglist: @namgification
AH! I hope you all enjoyed this <3 I had such a fun time writing it and I'm proud of how it turned out! Im always open to feedback so please share your thoughts !
#ssprayberrythings talks#ssprayberrythings x formula one#lando norris#lando norris x reader#f1 x reader#f1#f1 smau#x reader#f1 imagine#ln4#lando norris smau#lando x reader#ln4 x reader#imagines#ln4 fluff
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
spoilers for 2.1 !!!!!!!
aventurine rant, please keep in my mind that these are my own thoughts and interpretations. im extremely sleep deprived lol so im sorry if i got anything wrong
something thats been on my mind since yesterday are these lines.
from the start to me, it was very clear aventurine had self esteem/worth issues because of how he treats his own life, but the line that says “the other hand is below the table, clutching your chips for dear life” stuck out to me.
i always assumed aventurine was so incredibly confident in his luck but in reality he is afraid. he’s terrified that he’ll lose. it’s an act. he convinces himself, he fools himself, he forces himself to act like he’s confident he’ll win, when in reality even if he does win, he’s still clutching his chips under the table for dear life because of how terrified he is of losing.
that really messed with me to be honest. i feel tricked and what’s ironic is that he tricks his opponents into thinking he’s confident, and he also tricked ME the player but really, this made my heart break in two because i had absolutely no clue up until now.
so why does he act this way
all throughout his life, aventurine has had his pride stripped away. just try to imagine being in his shoes. i myself do not think i could deal with the situations he was put in. i cannot stress this enough, aventurine has a mark on his neck that screams to him that he has once belonged to someone. he has had his pride stripped away from him countless times. but it’s ironic because aventurine is introduced as a very prideful and flashy man. you start to realize the front aventurine puts on is his own way of protecting himself. it’s how he’s able to live basically. i wanna go into more detail but i will later.
as it was said before, aventurine is an uptight person who worries. he is extremely afraid of losing and he has a massive inferiority complex. aventurine may seem like a go lucky person on the outside, but in actuality he is not. he is not happy. he has no self worth, he believes he has nothing to live for, and he has no problem with throwing his life away. aventurine believes the only good thing he brings to the table is his luck.
but this brings me to my next point.
aventurine may not realize it, but he is so much more than his luck. he has so many good qualities and he doesn’t seem to realize it. even if some of it may be an act, he’s still able to pull it off. he’s still an intelligent business man who is both charming and cunning EVEN if it may be an act, those are still amazing qualities to have in his line of work.
but more importantly, aventurine chose to live. despite witnessing his family die, being a slave, and tortured, he chose to live. he chooses to. i cannot stress this enough. this man has gone through hell and back. he truly has had an incredibly difficult life to the point where my heart hurts so so badly for him. he made the decision to stay alive.
that says more than enough about his character.
and last but not least, aventurine wants one thing, and that is to be with his family. he’s witnessed horrible things in his life that no one should ever go through. he lost everyone close to him, he lost his people. he has nothing to live for and he values his life so little to the point where he has no problem with dying. the only real thing that he wants is just to see his family.
and he will one day, but in the meantime, i genuinely hope this man can find a reason to live, and ratio already gave him one just by that note. i just truly wish aventurine happiness while he lives the rest of his life.
i guess this is a topic that really hits me hard because i know all too well that choosing to live life isn’t easy sometimes and i just love aventurine.
let’s all appreciate how truly amazing his character is.
982 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#just an observation bc im avoiding working on stuff but i draw a lot and post basically everything i draw thst gets finished#and its v funny to me how u can tell how out of focus i was based on the quality of the drawing#or like when i post something and its like ok some of that was good but u def gave up halfway thru one of those lol#inconsistency i funny like that. its also funny to me that now a days i get comments like COLORS!!!#which is funny bc i notoriously haaaaaate coloring. like i will sit around whining and complaining when im home with my parents bc i dont#wanna color. its just so easy to fuck things up when u draw traditionally and it takes a million years so its a big ask lol#but i guess i dont hate is so much right now bc i kinda just slap whatever colors i want together like fuck it we ball#and thats kinda fun. reckless i suppose#its agony when u wanna try to do shadows and lights tho. like finding references ugh#or wanting to draw big ideas but then its like oh god its gonna take so long and if i dont do it all in one sitting i might die#im a lil better abt thst now bc it would b impossible but in my head i still hate it#ugh. all i wanna do is draw. theres another universe where i went to art school. or just like took art classes. and i wanna say id b happier#but thats def a lie XD i like learning too much and i dont have the attention span to hardcore learn genetics outside an academic#environment. and i got way too excited abt exploring the genetic traits of my cyano species#like i can make genetics trees for traits and look for. fuck. i forgot the word. how tf did i forget the word. oh god. horizontal gene#transfer. jesus christ its like theres a hole in my brain. well. i guess i did get only like 4hrs sleep. ugh im rambling.#i need to finish getting ready for Monday so i dont have to tomorrow and ill have time to draw. prob wont stop me feeling nauseous abt#teaching tho. OH FUCK. i just remembered i have a new office space now to decorate. fuck i need to hang up pictures and stuff#what would b the funniest way to put narut0 on my deskspace? idk ill have to think abt it. oh god im not ready#my head is like a handbell. one of the big ones when u ring it and it hits soft and u can feel the vibrations. someones wrung my head lol#unrelated
11 notes
·
View notes