#i think i was in sixth grade?? maybe still in fifth? so like 10 or so
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dr4c0n1c-st4rdust · 10 days ago
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you know what yeah why did my mom let me start drinking with her when i was like 13. what the fuck is up with that actually
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thenationaltreasuregazette · 2 months ago
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Meet the Editor
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Hi, I’m Rachel, the editor of the National Treasure Gazette!
As part of Treas-tober lmao I thought it would be fun to introduce myself. Since we’ve got a newspaper motif going I thought I’d, like, interview myself. Which is super normal I’m sure.
Why are you like this?
Great question! In 2004, at the tender age of 10, I had my brain chemistry rewired by a cinematic one-two punch of two of the greatest films of all time: Scooby Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed and National Treasure.
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I had always liked stories, but SD2 was the first time it occurred to me that somebody actually wrote them. And maybe…I could write them. The hyperfixation hit HARD. That night I invented a fascinating new drug called fanfiction. It would be years before I learned that that was a thing and you could put it online for other people to read, but that didn’t stop me from writing it, and I took it so seriously.
As far as I was concerned I was writing what would become the real sequels to SD2 and NT. I spent fifth grade working on the Scooby Doo one (a god-awful self-insert fic with no plot to speak of) and sixth grade working on my own version of the as-yet-unrealized National Treasure 2. (Also a self insert.)
But these projects got me interested in writing. I started learning about story structure and screenplays, and for National Treasure I started reading more about history.
Specifically, for an open choice book report I read an entire adult-level book about American conspiracy theories and then presented to my class about the Skull and Bones society and other weird shit like that. I’m sure my teacher was thrilled.
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What inspired you to start this blog?
My love for my two favorite nostalgic comfort movies stayed with me and I would periodically rant about them to my friends and loved once, who were very kind to humor me.
I’ve had plenty of other interests and hyperfixations throughout the years too, and one of them was CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. When I fell back down that rabbit hole in 2021, I happened upon the exquisite collection of asks and articles by @addictedtostorytelling. (Seriously, if you were ever even a little bit interested in the og CSI and haven’t discovered this, check it out.)
And I thought, well reading this is fantastic but it seems like even more fun to be the one writing the articles. What piece of media could I be, like, a subject matter expert in? Not one with a million think pieces already, just a casual place that I could have fun exploring at my own pace? National Treasure!
And then I put off making it for a year or two because I was sure I couldn’t keep up with it and it would become yet another dead project in my graveyard of notebooks, forever haunting me with the specter of what I could have accomplished.
But at some point I said, “fuck it” and here we are!
What are you proudest of, re: the blog?
That it exists! When I started I set a goal of posting 10 articles before I let myself give up on yet another thing. I definitely still don’t get to it much more often than I do, but now it’s not a ghost!
Also that there are other people who like it? I started this fully expecting to be rambling into the void, but I’m so thrilled that there are other people out there who are still thinking about National Treasure. We are few but mighty.
Do you have any takeaways from the project?
Yes! The fun of this isn’t in being a National Treasure expert, if such a thing exists. It’s about sitting with a movie and asking new questions. Every time I explore an article topic or get asked a question I learn something different about the movie, that I doubt it would have occurred to me to think about otherwise. And you my dear readers always challenge me to explore more.
I love paying that kind of attention again. I think the reason Monsters Unleashed and National Treasure will always be so special to me is because I did spend all that time sitting with them, exploring every nook and cranny and possibility I could find. I’ve missed that.
Do you have any plans for another blog like this?
Well I do have the url @the-coolsville-inquirer saved right now, but there are whole swaths of Doo lore I am unversed on, so no, no current plans.
What do you do when you’re not thinking about National Treasure?
I walk my dog, take pottery classes, work on my YA novel, watch movies for the movie club I’m in, try to learn Turkish, cook, and chip away at a million unfinished writing projects. (And you know, work and stuff).
What can readers expect in the future?
I have a few fun ideas left for Treas-tober and one very exciting art-related surprise the 20th anniversary. At least, I’m excited.
And I hope a few people participate in the fanworks week!
Oh babygirl it's almost thanksgiving.
At least one Riley article, really!
You would think I'd be starting to run out of things to say but actually the more I seem to find to talk about.
Thanks for enjoying the ride with me so far!
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wasionlymadetocry · 1 year ago
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The troubled teen industry isn't anything new. In fact, I think it's more well-known than it's ever been in the past. It seems like everyone I know has had their own experiences within it. Somehow their's seem worse than mine ever was. Does that make mine worth less? Or is that just another way of thinking that got me placed in psychiatric care in the first place?
The first time I was ever admitted to a mental health facility was when I was twelve. I was in sixth grade, and my birthday had only recently passed. When my family had come home from eating out that night, I found a razor. The type you use for construction. I remember staying up way later than I usually did, and I self-harmed for the first time.
I was scared. Scared of the blood, of consequences, of the relief it brought. I don't think I hid for very long before I broke down and told someone. My friends knew I was sad, but not depressed I don't think. I told our little group at the lunch table, and by the end of fifth period I was in the guidance counselor's office.
My counselor was kind, but the school officer legally required to be in the room was not. She acted like the whole ordeal was a waste of time. That it would have been easier to have called the cops and have me Baker Acted. My counselor wanted to call my parents. Have them pick me up, take me home, and have me voluntarily admitted. A supposedly far less traumatizing experience than the former. I suppose it was.
It was exceedingly difficult to get ahold of my parents that day, which just made the cop more and more irritated at me. My mother works from home and was in a meeting when I tried to call her. Even after being told it was an emergency, it was still more important that she finished her stupid work call. My father didn't answer the phone either. But he listened to my guidance counselor's voicemail and immediately called back. At least it seemed like one parent prioritized me over work.
All of my times in the system are so jumbled up I can't remember what details belong to which visit. I'm pretty sure for my first-ever visit I went almost right away. I was admitted to a psychiatric unit in a local hospital, and then I was trapped there for five days. Those visits never really help much. You spend more time in the emergency room going through the process of being admitted than talking to a therapist once you're on the unit.
All I ever did in that unit was sit around and wait for the doctor to say I was healthy enough to go home. It was a never-ending cycle of waking up, eating breakfast, doing fake school work, having lunch, going to our rooms for quiet hour, doing jack shit until dinner, having dinner, visitation hours, showering, then sleeping. And you do that every fucking day without change until you're not anywhere close to stable enough to go home but they don't want you any longer.
You sleep in a shitty bed, in a cold room, with no comfort other than the thought that maybe you're a little bit more sane than the kid in the bedroom across from yours. You have the endless discomfort of being on medications that fuck up your body, and that everyone will look at you like you're going to snap once you go back to your everyday life.
All of my friends decided they didn't want me to be around anymore. For the first time in my life, I had absolutely nobody. And it would remain that way for 10 more years. And my depression would only get more and more severe over that decade. There's so much more to it that takes so long to discuss, and takes even longer to put into eligible words.
maybe one day i will
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sokkas1mp · 4 years ago
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I gonna break in this acocunt with me being angry about something that doesn't really matter (very fitting for tumblr if you ask me), this article.
First: "And I’m sorry to open with this, but part of that is due to the age difference between them. Two years is hardly worlds apart (I’m personally working with four), but a 12-year-old boy and a 14-year-old girl are. Especially the way these two are drawn. Not to be too voyeuristic about Y7 cartoons, but Katara has clearly gone through puberty, while Aang hasn’t. There is something just…off, about a sixth grade boy having a full on make-out sesh with a high school girl."
This argument is one of the most stupid ones if you ask me, because it blatantly ignores the culture we have been presented by the show. I can understand why people find this weird, but we have to try not to look at it as if its our society, because its not. In A:tla, specifically the water tribes, 16 is marrying age. Right there, our "age norms" (idk what else to call it) are very different. And there are no divisions between ages in their world like we have with middle and high school. To me, two people are fit to be together based on their maturity, not their age. That's why 45 & 40 is not the same as 15 & 10, or 20 & 15. This is the same for Kataang. They have very similar life experiences and matured together, literally side by side, so a two year ago gap is irrelevant.
Second: "...Katara took on a very maternal role with Aang. Sure, she’s a caretaker and sort of a “mom friend,” but it’s a bit more than that. She served as his literal guardian during the show’s run—there’s just no other way to look at it. By the third episode, she called herself his “family,” and later even went on to role play as his mother to get him out of trouble at school. Aang, meanwhile, was… Well, I wouldn’t say “immature” for his age, […] However, Katara is 14 going on 25, while Aang is just, Aang."
There's a compilation of Katara doing thing with Aang that if someone saw a mother doing with her son they would call it incest:
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Katara definitely acts motherly towards Aang, but that is just her nature. She is more than just motherly with him. And some people like to call the check kisses familial (which is kinda weird imo), but we know Katara herself doesnt think that:
"Easy there, big brother" She pushes Sokka away. Not to mention, this was about a scene or two before she kisses Aang on the check.
Calling someone close to you your family does not mean you see them in the same way you see your parents/siblings. And Sokka played Aang's father in that scene, but we aren't sitting here using that as evidence to call him Aang's paternal figure.
Something Aang haters forget (or chose to ignore) is that being lighthearted and goofy does not equal immature. Yes, Aang does some juvenile things, but that shouldn't take away from his growth and maturity.
Third: "In fact, in the last season, Katara was shown to be uncomfortable each time Aang kisses her, and even went as far as to tell him to back off with the romantic stuff in the episode before the finale, because she was confused about how she felt. [*new paragraph*] Yet, in the end, she just trots up and blushes at Aang, than happily makes out with him when he goes for it,"
Katara initiated 2/4 of the kataang kisses (not including the check kisses). The kiss in The Cave of Two Lovers and the kiss in the finale. Yes, she's the one that "goes for it" in the finale (she also initiates the hug). She only pulls away once out of the 3 times we see a kiss end (this would be excluding the kiss in The Cave of Two Lovers). She wasn't confused about her feelings, she didn't want to have to worry about a relationship when they were nearing the end of the war.
Fourth: "The post-canon comics only furthered the lack of exploration of her feelings in this relationship"
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Fifth: "[referencing a scene in The Promise in which Katara is jealous of a fanclub being around Aang] "I'm sorry, this amazing, adult communication is blowing me away"
The are both still teenagers, who have zero previous relationship experience. Also, Aang had no ill intentions and Katara recognized it.
Sixth: [refencing Katara's role in The Legend of Korra] "Did Katara want to do anything other than sit in a healing hut and be known for having Aang's kids?"
This is another argument that just pisses me off. You can not use Katara's lifestyle in her 80s (she is 85 in s1) as judgement for her adulthood. It's purely assumption based. Constantly this author assumes that because she is in a relationship with Aang, Katara would drop her whole personality. What? Katara would not and could not be forced to do something or conform to some label and Aang wouldn't let it get to that point either. He would squash any idea that she is just "The Avatar's wife" or "The mother of the Avatar's children" the minute he heard it.
Seven: [comparing Katara's reaction to Aang The Desert to Aang's reaction to Katara in The Southern Raiders] "You'll spend a long time looking for her condescending tones. "Anger won't help, Aang," Katara never said, because she got that he was processing something painful and needed to sort it out himself. This difference in behavior is something that would be really fitting for a twelve year old boy to learn and understand. There's just no indication that he ever did."
Maybe I'm remembering wrong, but I don't remember Aang being condescending towards Katara. He was offering his advice because he knew her and knew that she would regret doing what she thought was right when her judgement was clouded by anger. And guess what. He was right. He never forced anything on her, either. Sure, he was a bit more pushy than he could've been, but in the end he let her go on the trip with no complaints. He even agreed that this was something she had to do.
Eighth: [referencing The Ember Island Players] "When the actor says 'Wait! I thought you were the Avatar's girl', Aang agrees. Katara is his."
You know damn well Aang doesn't see Katara as just his. And she's give him PLENTY of reason to believe that his feelings are reciprocated (which they are).
Ninth: "It's the story of a woman who swallows everything lest the man she's interested in has to learn anything about his behavior that violates her boundaries."
Ha! You said she was interested in him.
But in all seriousness, you mentioned how Katara stood her ground and told Aang that she was confused, but apparently now she's swallowing her feeings.
Tenth: [talks about the cloud babies daddy issues]
I don't disagree with what is said here, for the most part, but I don't think it is a reflection on Aang and Katara's relationship.
Eleventh: "... given what what we got with Kataang, it's completely unsurprising that Aang and Katara's parenthood/adult life was defined by a lack of communication and availability, at least from what we can tell. This also puts Katara's choice to immediately moved to the South Pole once Aang died in perspective; perhaps the city he poured all his energy into, at the cost of his family, held some bitter memories."
Once again with the lack communication. We can't use the early years of their relationship to determine their whole relationship. Also, there wasn't consistently a lack of communication, you just pointed out one time and ran with it.
We don't know at what point Katara moved back to the South Pole, but there are plenty of reasons for Katara to leave Air Temple Island:
a) Her son moving in/or planning to move in with his family.
b) She was no longer needed in the city and thus had no need to stay.
c) She wanted to go back to her native home for comfort after the love of her life died at a relatively early age.
d) The next Avatar was discovered and she came home to train them.
That's all. Thank you for reading my unnecessary rant if you made it this far, and I just want to close out with a few things:
- There were some things in the article that I did not include for the fear of this becoming a novel of me repeating myself.
- I agree with most thing said in the final segment of the the article. Most, not all.
- I appreciate the author for not trying to shove Zutara in just because Kataang wasn't there. That is becoming increasingly uncommon, so it was nice to see.
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tuanhood · 4 years ago
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alpha
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pairing: frat!im jaebeom x reader 
genre: lil bit of everything. lil smut, lil angst, maybe lots of fluff, established relationship
warnings: language, cringey frat stuff, public(??) fingering
word count: 4,200+
summary: your boyfriend’s frat doesn’t allow dating outside of greek life. hence the reason you two have had to sneak around for ten months... and hence the reason you’ve somehow found yourself stuck and hiding in a closet. 
a/n: wow long time no see! sorry for the delay, I’m really busy/stressing about dissertation stuff lately so updates and writings aren’t going to be frequent. but I really wanted to write this for ya’ll real quick to have SOMETHING, but yeah it’s not edited and NOT very good bc of the quickness. But I hope ya’ll will forgive me :) 
lambda | delta | gamma | kappa | theta | sigma
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When you woke up this morning, you really didn’t think you would end up in a closet at the Alpha Sigma Phi house.
The space is cramped, dark and a little smelly. Judging by the odor, you guessed that this was the closet that the boys in the house used to throw garbage in whenever they had to “clean” the house. Maybe this situation would have been a little bit better if you had been pushed into the closet that’s on the second floor – that way there would be less garbage and less boy smell. But who were you kidding? There would be a boy smell regardless.
In theory though you really shouldn’t be stuck in a closet at a frat house thinking about which closet you’d rather be in. What had your life become lately?
“Just a little bit longer, okay?” You heard Jaebeom utter through the door. It instinctively made you roll your eyes. The tone of his voice was so nonchalant, as if you weren’t stuck in a small space. But of course, he was on the other side of the door in fresh air, with as much space to roam around as he pleased – he didn’t understand “just a little bit longer” was triggering.
As much as you lo- liked Jaebeom… you weren’t sure if you would be able to hide in small spaces for the entirety of your relationship.
Babe it’s not for our entire relationship… Just until we graduate.
When he had first said that you didn’t really think about the bigger picture. All you had thought about was how happy he made you and how much you loved being with him. And that was the most important thing to you. But lately the sneaking around and the hiding had been a little too much for you – you weren’t sure if you could keep it up for another year… It had already been 10 months and you were at your wits end. Every time you wanted to sit down to have the conversation with Jaebeom – the one where you tell him it’s either the end of hiding or the end of your relationship – he’d give you those eyes, that smile and it would be completely wiped from your thoughts.
Damn Im Jaebeom. You think you fucking love him.
“Jae…” you grumbled, hitting your head against the door a bit. It had already been what… a half hour?
You heard him shush you and another voice emerged from the other side of the door. “Hey man, any particular reason you’ve been standing here?” Jaebeom’s nervous laughter is a giveaway, you just hope that Yugyeom doesn’t pick up on it. “No reason… just… like the space over here… It’s good party watching space.”
There’s silence and you pressed your ear up to the door further, hoping to hear something. You jumped back when you heard your boyfriend’s panicked voice, “what are you doing?”
Yugyeom snorted, “Dude chill… I’m just getting more cups from the closet.”
“Uh… Let me! I’ll get them!”
“What?”
“Yeah no worries dude, I didn’t really do anything to help prep for the party so I might as well get some fucking cups from the closet,” Jaebeom chuckled, his voice shifting to a more normal tone, “to be honest I didn’t really even know this was happening tonight… otherwise…” He drifted off, mumbling the last part to himself. You know he’s referencing the fact that the two of you thought the house would be empty – many of the guys typically going out to a local bar on Thursdays, but to your surprise as you crossed the main foyer in the house, the front door opened with most of the guys in the frat piling through. That led to your push into the closet.
“Yeah well… Red Room was closed because apparently they have a rat problem. I feel like that’s a bunch of bullshit. I mean we go there every week… we would have noticed if there was a rat problem.”
“Maybe they were just good at hiding it.”
There’s a lull in silence and Yugyeom clicked his tongue, as if he thinking deeply about something, “but I guess you wouldn’t know… You really don’t go out with us on Thursdays anymore…” As much as you liked the guys in Jaebeom’s frat – from stories you’d heard through your boyfriend of course – it seemed like they were often pretty slow when it came to certain things. If Yugyeom was starting to get skeptical and began piecing things together then surely the rest of the guys would too.
“Let me get you guys those cups.”
Taking a small step back, you turn to the shelf on your right, finding the red cups almost immediately through the dimmed closet. As the door cracks open slightly, your boyfriend’s long arm appears in the small space, gesturing around – clearly looking for the cups.
“Dude what are you doing?” Yugyeom asked.
“I know where the cups are so why should I go in all the way and get claustrophobic?” You have to cover your mouth to stop yourself from laughing at Jaebeom’s fake explanation.
Yes, because why would anyone ever want to be stuck inside of a closet? Rolling your eyes – happy he can’t see – you thrust the cups forward into his wandering hand. You swear you hear him grunt at your force.
The cups and his hand disappeared along with the small sliver of light that comes from the door being open. “Well… here you go… the cups you wanted.” There’s another pause and you wished you could see what was going on – to know if Yugyeom was buying how uncharacteristically strange Jaebeom was being or if he was still suspicious.
“You should leave your creepy party watching spot and actually join the fun, ya know? Some of the girls from Theta are going to be by soon and I know Amanda’s been asking a lot about you lately.”
Yugyeom’s mention of another girl makes your skin crawl and you’re almost ready to pounce out of the closet and call it a day, but instead you clenched your fists and waited to hear your boyfriend’s response.
“Nah man… I’m good.”
“Come on… how long has it been since you last had any action? I’m pretty sure Amanda would be down to hook up tonight.” Instinctively you felt your hand go to the doorknob, gripping it tightly.
To your dismay Jaebeom says nothing in response and your mind starts running wild thinking about possible nonverbal responses he could have communicated to Yugyeom – perhaps one of them being “yeah I’ll totally bang Amanda tonight.”
And you know what… maybe he should. Maybe it’d be better for him to be with someone he can actually walk around campus with. To be with someone he could actually introduce to his friends. You weren’t any of those things.
The circumstances of your relationship with Jaebeom had been complicated from the beginning. The two of you had met in a random general ed class you were both forced to take for a stupid credit. Never in your life did you think you were going to meet your next boyfriend in “Comparative Post-Communist Politics.” The two of you had the lowest scores in the class and found yourselves bonding over your almost failing midterm grades, but luckily the two of you had passed the course. Thank god for the grading curve.
It had started just that simply – two people who were “class friends.” Nothing more, nothing less. You’d sit next to each other every lecture and laugh over how dumb you both were, but never made efforts to hang out after class or even study together in preparation for exams. It wasn’t until the final day of class that Jaebeom had asked you to get drinks. His request shocked you as you had figured that just like most “class friends” you two would part ways and never see each other again except for the occasional pass by on campus where each of you would squint and wonder how do I know that person? Were they in that one class I took that one time?
You were perhaps even more shocked when you agreed to go.
From then on, the two of you talked about things besides class and got to know each other on a more personal level. You had already known some very basic things about him – such as his affiliation with the Greek system – but soon enough Jaebeom was pouring his heart out to you, and you to him. Both of you admitted that you had never felt this comfortable with someone before.
It was probably you fifth- or sixth-time getting drinks at a secluded place downtown when Jaebeom revealed to you how much he liked you. You felt your heart leap out of your chest and just as you were about to reveal your own confession, he hit you with a “but…”
“but… I can’t technically date you. My frat’s chapter is really strict about dating outside of Greek life. When I was a pledge, they told me that they’ve kicked guys out for going out with girls who aren’t affiliated.”
In any other situation you would have gotten up and said “no thank you” to whoever the guy was, not wanting to waste your time on anything or anyone who prioritized some stupid brotherhood over their feelings for you. But this was Jaebeom… The Jaebeom that you had grown close to over such a short period of time and had told you how much Alpha Sigma Phi meant to him. He had grown up an only child and spent much of his younger years feeling lonely, which was what made him want to rush the frat. He wanted the close experience and to have strong loyalty and ties with the other members – just like with real brothers.
“We can make it work. I really like you too Jaebeom… I’m willing to try this and figure something out…”
At the time… you weren’t sure what “figure something out” really meant – especially since you weren’t supposed to be seen together by literally anyone. Most people on campus knew someone who knew someone that was in Alpha Sig and if anyone saw the two of you together, you’d risk it getting back to the guys at the house. Which was why for 10 months the two of you had been dating in secret – him coming over to yours almost every night and you sneaking over to the house every Thursday when the guys were usually gone until the early hours.
You felt like you were fighting back tears at the thought of Jaebeom with someone else, but maybe it was what was right. You deserved to not be a secret forever – you were in a closet for godssake – and Jaebeom deserved to be with the perfect sorority girl that he could take wherever he wanted without the risk of getting kicked out of his second home. Tightly shutting your eyes, you attempted to stop yourself from crying, but somehow it makes it worse with the first drop rolling down your cheek slowly.
“Baby? Are you crying?”
It’s then that you realized the door had been cracked open once again, Jaebeom looking behind him before slipping in with you, shutting the door tightly. It occurred to you how pathetic you must look, crying in a dim, cramped closet at a frat house.
Quickly, you tried to wipe the tears of your cheek and hiccupped slightly, “N-no I’m not crying. It’s just my allergies with all the dust in here.”
“You don’t have allergies…” He positioned himself closer to you, bringing his own hand up to your face to rest it on your cheek, feeling the wet trails your tears had left behind, “what’s wrong?” Biting your lip, you don’t say anything in the hopes that he’ll drop the subject. Jaebeom knows you well enough to know when you want to move on and not address a topic, but this time he can’t find it in himself to just let it go.
“Y/N tell me.”
The way his thumb continued to gently caress your cheek back in forth, makes you want to close your eyes and pretend you’re anywhere else besides here in this closet having this conversation. You’d rather be with your boyfriend in a place far away from here where you don’t have to hide and you don’t have to worry about perceptions.
“I was just thinking about what Yugyeom said about the girl from Theta.”
“Baby… I would never go behind your back and do something with her-”
You sighed deeply and felt your stomach drop as you kept wedging your way further and further into the conversation you had once been wanting to have. Not seeing his sparkling eyes and that look in bright light made the words somewhat easier to get out. “I know you would never do that… I just think sometimes maybe it’s best if you had someone you could actually be seen with.”
Jaebeom doesn’t say anything, because it’s at that moment he feels his own stomach churn and feel sick. Making out your saddened face in the dark closet and listening to your words he realizes what he’s done. The way you had said “if you had someone you could actually be seen with” as if there was something wrong with you. As if you were less then. He wanted to kick himself for making you feel like that when it was in fact his fault and his own issues that stopped the two of you from being together publicly. Was brotherhood really so important to him when he was at risk of losing the person he loves?
Loves.
Reality hit him again.
“No,” Jaebeom finally said shaking his head, “I don’t want anyone else. I only want you and I’m sorry for making you feel like this. You’ve been so willing to hide this just because I’m a fucking idiot… because you understand how much this all meant to me.”
“Meant?”
He delicately brings his hands to rest at your waist, leaning close enough forward until you can feel his breath on your face, “I have something in my life that’s more important than getting kicked out of a stupid frat. I-I love you Y/N.”
You don’t answer him for a moment and he feels like he’s going to collapse at first from your lack of response. He wonders if maybe he had read the last 10-months completely wrong or if you had finally had enough with his bullshit and he was just too late. Jaebeom feels all of these worries and doubts fade away when you lean forward to press your lips against his. “I love you too,” you mumbled against his lips and you felt your boyfriend smile, his grip tightening on your waist and bringing you even closer to his body until you’re flush against one another.
You felt one of his hands drift down from your waist to the hem of your skirt, slowly caressing your thigh and slipping itself underneath the material until it’s hitched up above his hand. Removing yourself from his lips, you let out a lustful sigh to let him know how much you want him to do what he’s thinking about doing. As he rests his forehead against yours, he looks down between your two bodies, his hand going to your panties, gently playing with the waistband – snapping it back and forth gently to tease you.
“Do you want me to take back that I love you?” You asked playfully.
Jaebeom laughed, “you wouldn’t dare.”
Just as you’re about to respond with a bratty “try me,” you feel him dip his hand underneath the now damp material. He smiled at your caught off guard reaction. His fingers brushed your core, his index finger moving along your slit as he gathered your juices on his finger before he brought it to his lips and sucked them gently. You watched him in the dim light and felt yourself somehow grow more wet than before. He moved his fingers back down, his thumb pressing up against your clit and you felt yourself suck in a breath at the feeling, before two of his digits pushed into your completely. With the small amount of space, you had, you lifted your hips in an effort to get more of him inside of you and he chuckled at the action.
“We have all night baby girl, don’t worry. I take care of you, always.”
You exhaled at the feeling of his thumb massaging your clit and his fingers began to pump into you at a slow rhythmic pace. He watched you for a moment wondering how he got so lucky before returning his lips back to yours.
A groan arose in your throat and against Jaebeom’s lips as he curled his middle finger into you, hitting that spot that always made you so weak and you feel your thighs begin to twitch as you near your high. Sometimes it amazed you how quick he could make you reach your release, but he already knew everything else about you so well it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he would excel at this as well.
When he picked up the pace of his fingers fucking into you, continuing to hit your g-spot each time, you felt yourself quickly come apart and your walls clench around his fingers tightly. You dropped your head down to his shoulder and felt like there wasn’t any breath left in your body as you rode out the waves of your orgasm, Jaebeom making sure not to overstimulate you and slowing his fingers down. When he finally removes his hand from you, you feel so empty almost like your body just wants to be that close to him all the time – not even in a sexual way.
When you finally feel strong enough, you bring your head off of Jaebeom’s shoulder and wrap your hands around his neck tightly, bringing him in for another kiss.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. I never want to stop saying it and I never want to stop hearing it.”
With arms still around his neck, you gently play with the hair at his nape. You feel happier than you’ve felt in a long time – which was saying something considering how happy your boyfriend had made you the past 10 months.
“Should we get out of this closet?” Jaebeom asked with shut eyes, feeling relaxed every time he’s under your touch.
“Now? You want everyone to see us now?”
He shrugged, “They’re going to find out either way so might as well just do it now. I just hope they give me time to get my stuff before they kick me out.” You feel yourself frown at his candor and the thought of Jaebeom losing the sense of belonging he had gained from being in Alpha Sig, but you remember his previous assurances. You had one another and everything was going to be fine.
Just as you’re about to respond to him, you’re interrupted by a sudden emergence of light into the closet signaling the opening of the door. You and Jaebeom both freeze when you see Yugyeom and some of the other brothers behind him.
“Can you two just come out already?”
It’s almost as though both you and your boyfriend had forgotten all of your words. Instead you stare at one another with wide eyes.
“We’re tired of all this waiting. Just come out and introduce us to your girlfriend already man,” Yugyeom whined.
This was embarrassing. Had they been… listening?
“Listen ‘Gyeom I know you chose today’s date in the pool, but that doesn’t mean you win the bet,” one of the guys from behind him said.
Yugyeom lets out a large groan and turns to the member, “what? Why not? I chose today and he was going to do it today! I swear!”
“Yeah but you ruined it by opening the door! You pretty much made the whole thing void… Haven’t you heard of like… not ruining the controlled variable in the experiment or whatever the fuck?”
“The controlled variable was the door? That doesn’t make sense. You’re as dumb as a bag of bones dude,” Yugyeom snorted, turning back to you and Jaebeom. It’s then that you feel relief as Jaebeom finally cleared his throat to say something to the many pairs of eyes fixated on you both, “can you guys please explain to me what’s going on here?”
Yugyeom rolled his eyes at Jaebeom as if it was the most obvious thing in the world to understand, “we had a bet going for when you would finally tell us about your secret girlfriend… Who to be honest isn’t really a secret. I sit next to Y/N’s friend in Econ… class friends ya know.”
You felt your mouth go dry. If they knew about Jaebeom dating an unaffiliated girl this entire time why did they let it play out for so long? Why didn’t they say something to him and make him break up with you or kick him out of the frat? Were they trying to torture the two of you for the longest amount of time possible?
It’s then when you really take in each member of Alpha Sig’s face and you see no malice or disgust at the fact that you’re not a non-affiliate. They almost seemed… happy.
You felt Jaebeom take his head into yours and he sighs once more before looking back to the guys, “listen… Y/N is my girlfriend and has been for the last 10 months… I’ve put her through so much shit and made her sneak around which she did willingly because of how amazing she is. I’ve never felt so loved and cared for by someone before and I can’t put her through more shit that’s going to make her feel less then she is. I love her and I’m sorry you guys can’t accept that. I can be out of here by tomorrow.”
As Jaebeom goes to move the two of you out of the closet, Yugyeom places his hand up causing you both to stop in your tracks.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Jaebeom looks to you and then back to Yugyeom, “the rule… that we’re not allowed to date anyone who’s not affiliated. When we were pledges they told us they’ve kicked guys out for breaking the rule… remember?”
The boys in front of Jaebeom all look at him blankly until Yugyeom begins to laugh, the rest of the guys following him until you have approximately 6 frat guys laughing in your faces. Looking at your boyfriend his eyebrows are furrowed. You can’t tell if he’s confused at their reaction or annoyed.
It takes a moment for Yugyeom and the boys to finally stop laughing, “Jae… are you joking? Is that why you haven’t introduced her to us? Because of that stupid rule?”
“Yeah…”
Coming closer, Yugyeom placed his hand on Jaebeom’s shoulder, “Dude… that rule is not real. They’ve never kicked anyone out over dating someone who’s unaffiliated. Sure, the upperclassmen then didn’t want us to date someone not in an org, but they would have never made us leave… That kinda goes against the whole brotherhood thing. Besides, now we’re the upperclassmen and we just care that we’re all happy. You included.”
You felt like you could run a marathon at the amount of energy and feelings coursing through your body. You wanted to hug all of the semi-strangers in front of you, but also you wanted to hit Jaebeom for thinking that rule was a real thing when it was in fact… apparently not. In the back of your head, you make a mental note to lecture him on next time it never hurts to ask questions before you get into a secret 10-month relationship that might not need to be a secret.
“Thanks guys,” Jaebeom smiled at his brothers, with his hand still holding onto yours, caressing your smooth skin with his thumb.
“Now let’s continue this party, shall we?” Yugyeom yelled loudly as the rest of the guys cheer back in response, most of them heading back to the main living space until it’s just you, Jaebeom and Yugyeom.
The younger boy shakes his head, “I still can’t believe you were in that closet the entire time… which reminds me. I am never going in there again after the actions that occurred in there,” you felt your face grow hot at his admittance that he had heard or at least knew what had happened in the closest just moments before his grand entrance.
“I still can’t believe you knew the entire time and didn’t say anything!” You whined.
“I was expecting you to jump out as soon as I mentioned Amanda… That’s why I brought it up. Which by the way man,” Yugyeom turned to Jaebeom, “none of the girls at Theta give a shit about you.”
“That’s totally okay. There’s only one girl I want to give a shit about me,” Jaebeom smiled proudly placing his arm around you in front of Yugyeom and everyone else at the party. He relishes in how comfortable it feels to finally be like this with you in front of some of the most important people in his life. Besides you of course.
You hummed in delight and nuzzled your head against his arm, into his shoulder, “She doesn’t just give a shit about you. She kind of loves you too.”
“Just kind of?”
“Nah with her full heart.”
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piratewithvigor · 3 years ago
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a couple of the questions in the ask meme you reblogged really resonated with me, would you do 23, 24, 45?
Took me a bit to find the right list and I'm just guessing, but I hope this is the right one. I ended up answering these for two hours, so sorry about the novel
23. Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
Four months ago was March 13, by my calculations. And it's a really tough one to answer. A lot of dirty laundry happened that week, and I'm not sure just how much I want to share. What I do know is that one week before March 13, I was having a really great night. Went out on a mini road trip with a group of friends. We were gonna go have dinner in this little restaurant/convenience store in the middle of nowhere, but we only arrived 10 minutes after they'd closed down the kitchen. We bought snacks and this big tub of peanut butter ice cream. Drove around and ended up getting some KFC, then eating the ice cream in the high school parking lot before burying it in the snow to try and hide it until Monday. We sang Sk8tr Boy until we were hoarse. That kind of jubilant joy is gonna be hard to recreate.
A few days after that was my birthday. I've never really made a fuss about my birthday and it isn't super important to me, so acknowledgement from the people closest to me is pretty much all I look forward to. Making memories of some kind.
I had a boyfriend at the time I really loved. He'd gone on the mini road trip a few days before (also being a part of that friend group) and had mentioned offhand when my birthday was, so I knew he knew. We were never really chatty over text because he's much more vocal, but we always made it a point to wish each other good morning as soon as possible after we woke up. I already knew something was off when he took until 9 or so to wish me good morning (he had classes that started at 8, so I knew he wasn't sleeping in). It was the beginning of a day that was likely one of the worst birthdays I've had. After spending the day listening to those who did remember tell me to leave him, that this was unacceptable, I requested a call with him around 8pm. We hardly ever called, so I think he knew something was up. I told him he'd forgotten my birthday (and called him a dumbass in my rage, which wasn't called for)
I said a lot of things that night to people in my anger. I wish I could take a lot of it back, or explain what I had meant at the time, but none of it can be taken back and I accept that. We didn't break up that night.
The next few weeks were a little uneasy. He was jumpy and had gone into an anxiety/depression spiral over the fear of getting dumped (no matter how often I assured him that I loved him and had no intention of doing so), but as a result, we weren't leaning on each other with the right balance anymore.
A few days before Easter, I had an emotional breakdown that lasted several hours. He wasn't returning my messages and later said he was with two of our mutual friends at a beach about an hour away. I wasn't angry at him, but really disappointed. A lot of my turmoil had come from the solitude of being the only university student in a gang of high schoolers, so there were days I'd see them all having fun together without me, and I snapped a little.
The next day, one of those friends requested an evening hangout and I was obviously elated. I spent the day waiting and passing the time as quickly as possible. When she pulled up to my house at exactly the minute she said she got off work, I was a little suspicious, but suspected I had misread the message. The car was fully parked (also weird), my boyfriend was sitting shotgun (I didn't know he was coming) and the other friend was sitting in the backseat (I didn't know she was coming either). The vibe was all off and my boyfriend turned around in his seat and said that we needed to break up. He explained our relationship was taking a toll on his mental health.
In front of two other people, I didn't have the chance to get my emotions out properly. Nor did I have the chance to really talk things over with him. I learned later that this was because he wanted backup in case I got violent (one of the misunderstandings from the evening of my birthday).
I haven't seen him since then. I've only heard his voice twice during calls with other mutual friends who've remained neutral in the breakup. Overnight, my friend group went from a healthy regular 6 that could be expanded to 10 to only 2 who talk to me (in person friends, I should specify).
In the weeks since, I haven't left the property beyond picking up the mail or my brother from school. I've gotten a new interest that I adore (but my family hates). I've had days that feel magical and days where I feel like I'd be better off dead if I could give my all in a relationship and still be disrespected like that.
I don't know if I'm happier than I was 4 months ago. I have up days and down days just as frequently. They're just about different things. But maybe I am happier; some days, I notice my 'ups' are higher than they used to be.
24. Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
Yes. In the aforementioned friend group, there were 6 of us who were the core: myself, my boyfriend, two other girls his age, one guy and one girl 4 years younger than me. I was never particularly close with the guy, but I always liked hanging out with him. The two other girls were the most regular hangouts because they were in town a lot, so if they went to hang out with my boyfriend, I was generally there too. They were the two in the car the night of the breakup.
The younger girl, I was probably the closest with. There would be evenings when she wanted help with homework or just someone to talk about nonsense while she listens. There were a good number of occasions where she would want to do homework late into the night and I'd lie in bed and tell her about movies I've watched recently. I considered her a really good friend, but because of our age difference, her parents were a little wary of her hanging out with the group outside of school (completely understandably so. I think the only reason she got to hang out with me was because her mom had been basically the youth pastor at our church since I was 8).
She took my boyfriend's side in the breakup. I know they were significantly closer than she was with me, but I just wish I didn't have to lose that friendship too. I sent her word through her brother to let her know I have no beef with her at all, but I don't think it did any good. It's very likely I won't be able to talk with her anymore, and I've mostly made my peace with it, but the lack of closure I got there is probably gonna mess with me for a while.
45. Do you believe exes can be friends?
I do. I have proof, but I don't know just how allowable it would be in this case. I consider myself to have had 6 relationships. They ranged from 1 month to 2 1/2 years.
My first one was third grade. The entire year, and about as PG as two 8-year-olds get. We broke up when fourth grade started, but were still pretty close friends. We got back together for a few months in seventh grade, but it wasn't working, so we went back to friends. He's now one of the only people I know in person who still talks to me. Definitely still a friend.
My second was 8th grade. A little bit toxic and we were probably better off ending when we did, but he gave me a lot of experience that I banked on for years. Have not spoken to him in close to 4 years.
My third was 9th grade. Definitely toxic. We don't talk about it. Stayed in contact and even friendly for about 2 1/2 years afterwards until I cut him off. It was really for the best in the end.
My fourth was later in 9th grade. My longest. Long-distance and one of my healthier ones. He left me after 2 1/2 years and gave me a whole lotta issues as a result. Our contact wavers on occasion, but we've never gone more than a month without talking.
My fifth was probably a week after my fourth. He was inheriting a basket case of a bitch. Also long distance and have not spoken since the breakup.
My sixth was the one who's breakup you read about above. We were together for almost exactly 18 months. My second-healthiest relationship after my first. He said we could still be friends, but the more time that passes, the less I believe it's a possibility.
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archiefms · 5 years ago
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𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒅𝒖𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 : 𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒆 𝒎𝒄𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒏 !
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[ alex fitzalan,  he/him,  24 ] did you see ARCHIE MCMILLAN ? looking as broke as ever. rumor has it HE is usually IMPULSIVE and  SELF INVOLVED but is also known to be INDEPENDENT and CHARISMATIC. we’ll see about that. they kind of remind me of damp   asphalt   after   a   summer   storm ,  coming   to   a   screeching   halt,  and using   duct   tape   for   all   problems . maybe because they’re a PISCES. they’ve been living around here for 1 MONTH. i wonder when they’ll make it out… [ em, 23, she/her, pst ]
hellooooo fellas !! if you would like to plot out any connections pls feel free to hit me up either on here or discord <3 I am down to clown lkjslf 
i . STATS .
full   name   :   archie  mcmillan  .
nickname   :   archie   , arch .
birthdate   :   march   1st  . 
age   :   twenty   -  four.
pronouns   :   he   /   him   .
gender   :   cisgender   male   .
sexuality   :   bisexual    *   leans   more   toward   female   /   feminine   .
aesthetics :   damp   asphalt   after   a   summer   storm   ,   coming   to   a   screeching   halt   ,   using   duct   tape   for   all   problems   ,   the   eerie   silence   of   a   graveyard   .
faceclaim   :   alex fitzalan   .
ii   .   BIOGRAPHY   .
he’s in the second grade when he’s first told that his family is poor , and it isn’t until fifth grade that archie begins to understand it himself . with hair long and curly , untamed like ocean waves , and clothing tainted with the stench of second - hand smoke and mildew , his teachers begin to take notice . in sixth grade , his name is called over the intercom and his classmates holler and cackle and point their fingers at him like he’s some sort of animal in a cage , but he manages to get out of the classroom before bursting into tears on his way to the counselor’s office . she sits him down the way your parents sit you down before they tell you awful news , but she tells him she’s only here to help , and if he could just tell her why he wears the clothes he wears and if his house has plumbing and if his parents ever hit him . he speaks , tells her he doesn’t know , yes , and no , but he must have told her something she wanted to hear , because her eyes widen and she tells him to continue . my father , he tells her , chain - smokes cigarettes in the car , in the house , sometimes blows the smoke in my face to make my mother laugh . by eighth grade , his father’s out of the picture , but his clothing still reeks of cigarette smoke and mildew , and though his hair is shorter , it’s greasy and freckled with white flakes . his mother hardly speaks to him, and that would bother him, but , he realizes , she doesn’t speak much at all after his father left .
by high school , he’s learned to shower at friends’ houses and learned to wash his own clothing at laundromats , and though the mildew stench is gone , his clothes now take on a different aroma . cigarettes , cheap beer , weed , and axe body spray . he’s not entirely fond of the smell of body spray , but it’s all he can afford , even after a summer mowing lawns around town . in junior year , he begins to take his schooling more seriously , finds himself immersed in textbooks and novels and documentaries in the late hours of the night . but , by the time second semester rolls around , he’s immersed in something else , someone else , a person who changes his viewpoint on the ideologies of love . her name is bonnie , a bright soul , rich in spirit and in wealth , a person who opens his eyes to the world of luxuries . he’s nineteen when they officially begin dating , a cat and mouse game played throughout the years they spent as friends , and though she’s a few years older , she doesn’t treat him like he’s naive . she’s open to him about everything , about her illness , about her wealth , about her motives . she leaves everything to him after her death , an ending they both saw coming all too well after her years battling cancer . money , a house , a car , a job with her father’s company – if archie’d only take it . he gives the money to a local hospital , sells the house and gives that money to his mother , but he keeps the car because the inside smells like her , smells like warmth and embers and leather and entirely bonnie .
he spends his time now working at the local bookshop now , and if he’s not clocked in , he’s sitting against its shelves rereading bukowski or baldwin , a cup of coffee nestled comfortably between his thighs . he’d gone to college for a semester , but dropped out once he realized he didn’t need a degree in order to get educated , and why should he waste money he doesn’t have to get a degree he probably won’t want ? he thinks often of his father and of bonnie and of his mother , who moved to florida with the house money . of other loves, as well -- more recent ones. a girl who somehow managed to climb into his head without knocking and fix herself in like a map pin. he wonders why people always leave , but perhaps he won’t ever discover the answer to that question , and , sometimes on his darkest days , he thinks the answer might be himself . 
iii   .   DISPOSITION   /   PERSONALITY   .
often gets told by elders that he’s an ‘ old soul ’ , but just thinks that’s a polite way of telling him he’s a bit darker , a bit out of place , especially in comparison to his peers . definitely has a darker sense of humor and oftentimes uses sarcasm and is known to be quite vulgar at times , especially if he’s under the influence . can be relatively meticulous , especially when it comes to reading – takes his time to underline words or phrases , likes writing in the margins . can be somewhat critical of others , and can be quite cynical at times , especially in terms of friendships and relationships . often has to question if feelings are genuine , both his own and other people’s , and definitely has abandonment issues . is both patient and impatient in the sense that he can be patient to see his mother after years of not seeing her , but is impatient that his water is taking too long to boil . is evasive , especially – but not only – when it comes to relationships or questions about himself , but is alluring enough for people to want to know more about him , he supposes . archie’s just … an overall darker personality , really .
iv   .   HEADCANONS   .
1   .   has definitely bought an old television at some point just so he could smash it with a baseball bat . it’s not that he’s fueled by anger or that he’s a generally angry person , because he’s not . it’s just that , sometimes , his emotions become all - consuming .
2   .   enjoys buying vinyls and cd’s and will sometimes put on a record in the middle of the day at the highest volume and just kind of lay on his couch , smoke a couple cigarettes , and listen intently .
3   .   has a wonderful relationships with books and spends a majority of his time reading and underlining and jotting notes down in the margins of books . books are , quite honestly , the only thing that has ever been a constant for him .
4  .   drinks / smokes / drugs : yes , like a chimney , yes .
5   .   is known to make cd mixtapes for people . also playlists on occasion .
6   .   skateboards around town often despite owning a car .
7   .   journals and wanted to attend college for english and creative writing .
8  .   has a complicated relationship with sleep to the point that he either sleeps far too much or far too little .
9   .   favorite book : giovanni’s room , things fall apart , the great gatsby , 1984 .
10   .   favorite song : asleep by the smiths , just like heaven by the cure , arabella by arctic monkeys , let’s dance to joy division by the wombats .
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thegalapogos · 5 years ago
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Early bloomer, late bloomer I
I started blaming myself for things I had no control over. I didn’t know it back then, but that was when I started slowly losing control of my own life and feeling disconnected from my needs and wants.
“I’m really not as clever as I thought I was,” I remember thinking, countless times whilst laying on my bed late at night before falling asleep. “I really should’ve listened to my pessimistic side a lot more, and not think of myself so highly.” It sounded hopeless. It was hopeless. Day after day, after day, I experienced explicit demonstrations of horror and hatred towards me. I had no one to turn to. No role models to follow. I was being picked on on a daily basis for something that is intrinsic to myself as a person. Something that I could not change. And God knows I wanted to change so much back then. But that’s not something that can happen.
Middle school was a nightmare. I remember walking with a handful of friends between different school buildings on a September afternoon. I think we were going to have an Arts class next. I could feel the last remnants of summer still in the air. The sun was shining bright, and many students were enjoying recess just outside of their classrooms, laughing, playing and chasing each other. The feeling of having separate classes in different buildings was still kind of foreign to me. I was distracted, thinking about all this, when all of a sudden a girl that I had never seen before jumps from within a group of students enjoying their recess and stops in front of us, and just stares.
We all just stopped walking and stared back at her. She had this mischievous smile on her face. The kind of smile I’d grow to recognise and fear for next few years of my life. What is it that she wants? I started feeling nervous, mainly because I was a shy kid and I didn’t want her to ask for money, rob us, or something of the sort.
She just started counting us, pointing at us with her index finger. “One,” she said, pointing at Francisca. Francisca just frowned, unsure of what was going on. “Two,” she said, pointing at Maria. “Three,” pointing at Marta. “Four,” pointing at Raquel. My 10-year-old ass knew where this was going. She then faces me and takes a deep breath. “Five girls!,” she proclaims, proudly. After seeing the confused expressions on our faces, she just let out a loud cackle. Some of her friends, still sitting on the concrete bench that she jumped from, laughed with her. I was so embarrassed that I didn’t want to look towards them, but all of sudden I noticed that we’ve caught the attention of everyone in a 50-metre radius. I was petrified. I hated being the centre of attention. This was the first time someone picked on me for being perceived as gay. At first, I was confused. Why was she picking on the fact that I was friends with four girls? Am I not supposed to be friends with girls? On the other hand, I knew exactly what she meant and what her intent was. I just don’t remember how I got out of that situation. But that was only the first of many.
During the next two years, I went on to be bullied and harassed almost on a daily basis. My only reaction when people were picking on me was to look down and not say anything, hoping that whoever was tormenting me would just leave me alone. It didn’t always work. Eventually I would dread walking between buildings, checking the way before following my friends to our next class. I started taking mental notes of where my main bullies used to hang out, at what time of the day, and what day of the week. I would make up excuses to my friends, so I could go to the bathroom or get an Iced Tea from the main building’s vending machine, so as to make a detour and avoid the bullies, meanwhile risking facing another one in the absence of my friends. But it worked, most of the time.
I remember trying to figure out why people started being so mean to me all of a sudden. I had never experienced bullying up until then. I was a pretty sociable and popular kid in elementary school. I was friends with everybody before. Why was I being antagonised? Was it because all my friends were girls? I only knew a few girls in my 5th grade class because I knew them from elementary school. I didn’t know most of the boys in the new class. Maybe I suddenly became gayer as puberty was approaching? This was my main theory back then. But it became clear to me over the years that prior to this I was just living inside a walled garden. My friends from elementary school were already familiar with my mannerisms since we were very little. So it was never a shock to them. I wonder if that made them more accepting of gay people as they grew up.
I didn’t know what caused so many people to suddenly go out of their way just to mock me. I didn’t know most or any of them. Was I that flamboyant? Were people mocking me behind my back, and the rumours spreading from word of mouth? I didn’t know. What I did know is that I started getting very conscious about the way I walked, talked and gestured. I would try to mimic male friends, so people perceived me as more masculine and stopped picking on me. I was worried about the image I was projecting, 24 hours a day. But that didn’t seem to make much of a difference. Of course it didn’t.
I remember dreading going to school in the morning. I wanted to vent to my mom so badly. But venting meant, at the very least, exposing a very vulnerable part of me that I was already hiding for years. In the worst case scenario, venting would mean coming out to her. And it would be a long way before I felt ready to do that.
I remember feeling powerless. All these bullies were bigger than me, or they would act in groups. My friends, although they liked me, didn’t do anything to defend me, for the most part. I felt like they pitied me, and frankly that hurt almost as much as the bullying itself. I remember a guy picking a fight with me as I was walking and talking to two friends of mine. He said he would turn me into a “canned sardine”. I didn’t even know who he was. I felt like responding that day, so told him in a tongue-in-cheek manner that I’d turn him into a “Bairrada-style suckling pig”. It rhymes with “canned sardine” in my native language, so it was kind of funny and my friends chuckled. He was walking the opposite way, but he turned around and started punching me. I defended myself and tried punching him as best as I could, but he was at least a couple years older than me and therefore a lot stronger. I can only remember my friends yelling “Stop! Stop!” repeatedly. But it would never end.
Teachers would hear altercations between me and my bullies, even inside the classroom. Sometimes, they would try to stop the arguing, other times they would have a smirk on their faces like they were mildly amused by what my bullies were saying. Very rarely they would take my side. I really felt like I had no one to defend me, and that I was inherently inferior to my colleagues.
There was, however, a day that sticks out to me as a good day, when my friend Marta was witnessing one more instance of me being mocked and staring at the ground, waiting for the bully to focus his attention on someone or something else. I remember not expecting to hear her high-pitched, yet assertive voice contrasting with the jokester, “I’m-already-going-through-puberty” tone that my bully had. “What the hell do you want?”, she asked him. He just looked amused at that little girl with her tiny voice, but combative stance. “He’s not gay but even if he was, so what? Leave him alone!” I felt so warm and fuzzy inside when I heard that. He kept trying to ignore her and focusing his attention on me, but eventually he got annoyed with her and left. I remember feeling thankful for her intervention, but I was so embarrassed that I never told her. To this day, 20 years later, I still admire how she’s able to stand up for herself in the face of bullies and bigots. I wish I could be more like her.
In those days, any day without hearing or experiencing homophobic bullying was a good day. Being called a fag was definitely the worst thing I could ever be called - my Arts teacher calling me a retard on one of the first few classes of the year had nothing on the casual homophobic slang I heard outside the classroom.
As the first trimester of fifth grade went on, I slowly started getting the respect of my closest colleagues, either because I was a great student back then, or because I really was a doormat and I tried to be nice to everyone, even my bullies. Some boys in my class would still pick on me occasionally, but the episodes were not as bad. But every time someone new got to experience my gayness, it was almost like going back to square one. It was still visceral and violent every time, even if was just an uttering of the word “faggot”.
In sixth grade, a boy that had been in my class the previous year came up to me and apologised. He said he was sorry, and that he shouldn’t have said the things he said. It was probably the only time a bully apologised to me, at least in a heartfelt manner. I have never seen him again after leaving that school at the end of the year, but I will forever cherish the moments when he went out of his way to say “Hi, how are you?” to me. It was such as simple gesture, but it was meaningful to me, and it was such a rare occurrence back then, that it always brightened my day.
Things got better in some ways during the subsequent years, but in reality the bullying never really stopped until I was a sophomore in high school, while my confidence remained mostly below average well into my college years. I still feel like I haven’t fully recovered from the years when I was bullied. I still fear making new friends and worry if they perceive me as gay right away. I am still extremely self-conscious and waste precious energy on policing my mannerisms in public.
I wonder if gay kids still have it this hard nowadays. I hope not. Most kids that age are cruel, but what I experienced was, to me, in another level of cruelty. I don’t wish it upon anybody.
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fireburningbright · 5 years ago
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I've been wanting to make this post about what I feel was maybe my first experience with Ares but I wasn't sure how to word it without sounding like a crazy person. I'm still not entirely sure I'll succeed but I want to share anyway.
When I was in middle school I got picked on and bullied a lot. Not in the 'I got beaten up and shoved in a locker' kind of way. In the elitist parochial school kind of way. I was the short, fat, smart kid who was apparently an outsider because I came to that school in the first grade and hadn't been there since preschool. Yeah, seriously. How fucking ridiculous, right? I came home crying almost every day. The summer between fifth and sixth grade my dad basically said "Either you're changing schools or you're starting karate lessons." And me, being the spiteful little shit that I am, chose karate because I didn't want the bullies to 'win.'
Literally the day after my first karate lesson I was over at my friends' house and we were hanging out with their neighbor in her driveway. Some neighborhood boys kept riding by on their bikes being jerks. At one point my friends' neighbor says that they better be careful because I knew 'judo.' Like, really, I had had one lesson of a completely different martial art and you're using ME as your threat? Gee thanks. One of the hooligans said something to the effect of "Oh yeah? What're you gonna do about it?" which was when things got interesting.
It was like something came over me. I stood up straight and tall, feeling so much bigger than I was at the time (now at 28 I'm a whopping 5'1" so at 10 I was real tiny). I could feel the fire burning in my eyes as I walked towards this boy. I had no thought, no plan, just the burning rage in my eyes that was enough to scare the teenager into falling off his bike, sprinting away on foot and leaving it there for hours. My friends laughed as his crew raced to catch up with him, afraid of the 10 year old that stood fearless albeit slightly confused at the end of the driveway.
Looking back now I think that maybe that was Ares influencing my actions. I feel like he guided me to stand up for myself, to stand tall and burn with just enough rage to get the job done without needing to lay hand or fist on anyone.
When I talked to Ares by name for the first time a few months ago I told him that I was scared. Scared for multiple reasons. Scared for going against how I had been raised. Scared for the well being of a person I considered a brother who has since proved that he wants nothing to do with me. Scared for...well, we all know how scary the world is for trans people. And he told me "But you kept going, didn't you? You kept your head down and kept going. Sometimes that's the smart thing to do." Hearing that felt like coming home, like he was always there behind me and was just waiting for me to find him.
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and-i-uh · 5 years ago
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6? 22? Any other number you wanted to answer?
6- i dont have any stim toys, ive never really delved into that stuff, i was never really given the chance to explore stuff that would help me out with stimming and such. I also dont think i would like stim toys? Maybe i just have to try some but idk.
22- idk any specific songs i stim to. But ive stimmed while listening to mcr, and honestly i just stim to alot of the general songs i listen to. I really like singing along, i think thats a stim of mine, and some songs just listening to them is like stimming (anything with drums and/or guitars)
2- i like blankets a lot. Even if im hot and dont really need one, ill subconsciously grab the blanket on the couch and put it on my lap, and on my bed. There was one day i grabbed a pocket-sized beanie baby and put itin my hoodie pocket, and just knowing it was there made me happy. Also when i was with my friends one of them stuck their hands in my pocket and i panicked and like moved it out of their reach bc i was scared to get made fun of lol, it ended up being fine. I sleep with stuffed animals a lot. I think thats it
3- my school experiences were,,, not fun at all. Theres a lot to unpack there. My schools all had this thing called a “504 plan” or whatever. And it’s supposed to help people with certain disorders/disabilities. Mine only acknowledged my adhd as far as i know. Maybe my anxiety too. Some of the things that were supposed to ‘help’ were moving me to the front of the room, i got extended time to complete stuff (supposedly), extended time on certain tests (which i only saw on the act, literally i got no other extended time to do anything else. And after i got extended time on the act my scores shot up. Imagine the potential if i was given my actual extended time shit) and the meetings were hell. They started to have meetings with me in middle school, sixth grade i think. Having an administrator there, and my parents, and at least one teacher was terrifying to me. I think i cried every meeting. Honestly it felt like an interrogation to me, esp with all the damn eye contact and shit. My dad asked me if i wanted to continue it this year and i was immediately like fuck no nuh uh not happening. And whether or not I actually needed to be in the front of the room depended on the class, teacher, the people in there, but a lot of the time i would just be moved to the front and i would hate it. In eighth grade my math teacher moved me from the back of the room (a favorite seat in that class) to the front of the room in the middle of class for like a week. It was honestly humiliating and the only time i was eventually able to express my opinion on the 504 shit. Actually my freshman math teacher did that too. Ahaha moving on now before this gets too long.
4/5- three negative and positive things about being autistic.
Pros-
(1) i dont really have a chance to not have a hobby. Ive always got an interest to keep me entertained and i like that.
(2) stimming is nice, i like it, im not afraid to let myself stim. Makes me feel better.
(3) im unique and shit. I have a different pov than other people and that allows me to have different ways of thinking. I think outside the box ig. I also have this weird version of confidence and objectivity that I appreciate in myself
Cons-
(1) its hard to feel like i belong somewhere, bc im so different. Im getting better at it but im not good at getting close to people.
(2) i also like,, dont have certain permanence? Like object permanence? A lot of the time i dont really miss things/people unless im somewhere that reminds me of them. Idk if it’s negative really but its something,, even a spin, like bts, i dont really miss them that much until i do. Theyre still very important to me but yeah
(3) people dont really get me the same way other people get other people. And its hard for me to explain it to people. And theres certain people i get more than others. Its weird.
7- people need to give autistics a chance to be heard. Apply the accommodations you “give” them. Dont put them in the spotlight and give them space when needed. We are what you might call “picky” too. Eating, learning, socializing, we have our own things we need to be able to do shit. Learn them. Let us stim. Encourage us to learn about ourselves and remind us that youre there for us. But dont try to help us unless we ask or we actually need help. Dont trigger meltdowns on purpose, stop using the r word even in passing like its not a big deal. Be more than aware of us, accept us, appreciate us. Dont be a bystander.
8- i dont have much experience with meltdowns? I think? If i have i didnt have chances to recover. I had to go back to class or something. Idk how to recognize them in me either.
10- showering. Thats a big thing that even though i kinda need i forget to do. Except during school. I had a whole routine in the morning and i was super punctual. If i didnt shower i would be late, miss the bus, forget something.
12- meat. The way it feels. Disgusting. How do people eat it and not feel like dying? Same with lettuce. Spinach is fine but every time i try to eat lettuce I almost throw up. Bell peppers, pickles, vinegar, mayo, eggs usually, cheese sometimes. Just off the top of my head. One time i tried putting lettuce on my burger, was feeling adventurous, and after biting down i had to just take the lettuce off. Another time, my stepmom (newly married to my dad) made slads for us, and i was skeptical. There was white stuff all over the salad and she wouldnt tell me what it was. I tried eating a little carrot stick thing and almost vomited. Thats when she learned I cannot eat mayo. Even if idk that its mayo i still cant fuckin eat it. She forced me to eat bell peppers one time. Didnt go well at all. At all.
(Not gonna do the spin one bc ive already talked about them and if i do again itll be too long)
15- yes! I only do big stuff(?)(like yelling n shit) when im completely alone. Like if im home alone. Bc i get so loud. Sometimes ill hum in my room or sing to myself in my room though. Its so fun. As for phrases i repeat, ill repeat anything i find interesting. In a movie or song, or even something a friend said. One time my mom said the phrase “tough titty said the kitty but the milks still good” and i went around the kitchen repeating it until she got annoyed. Also sometimes something in the room will have a constant sound and ill like think a phrase to that sound repeatedly. Idk how to explain it lol. Idk if thats echolalia either
16- rocks. Typical i know, collecting rocks. But i just cant help it. I see a rock i like, i pick it up, take it home. I used to collect sticks. And when i was in elementary school, i used to pick shit up off the playground. Beer bottle caps was a favorite. Apparently the school called my mom about it bc they found my stash and thought it was from home and my parents were drinking excessively. 😬 oops
18- introverted?
19- kinda depends. Idk. I really cant tell wow. I would probably say hypersensitive. Just cause i have a ton of sensory issues and a lot of stuff bothers me. Like types of clothes. And how things are resting on my body. Yeah i guess i am hypersensitive.
20- i used to struggle with self love a lot. And sometimes i still kinda do. But in the past few years ive really started appreciating myself and trying to learn a lot about myself. Its going well id say.
21- empathy. Hmm. I think im very empathetic, actually. I can always tell when someone is feeling uncomfortable in a situation. And when i should tell people to back off of them if they wont say it themselves. And im very uncomfortable when theres secondhand embarrassment. And bullying, in something im watching or reading. Yknow, I actually cant watch mean girls. I just. I tried, i had to walk away bc I couldn’t take it. It also kinda triggers me so theres that. Bc of the bullying. But yeah im very empathetic. Otherwise socially im not good at that.
23- nope. Ive got like no support system other than tumblr and online friends. Apparently my dad refused to acknowledge im autistic and hes my favorite parent. Thats his big flaw though. And if i “came out” to him and said it myself he would probably come around. I know hes not completely nt either. My Opa has ocd, so nuerodiversity runs in the family ig.
While making this i got distracted and went on insta for like an hour oops lol
24- steampunk cosplay? Or college dorm tips? The steampunk one was freshman year, and the college dorm one was fifth grade. It lasted well into sixth grade and seventh grade.
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starlitwishforu · 5 years ago
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Forty-Two Things I’ve Learned in School, by Chronological Order, that is if Time is on a Sugar High
1. Horizontal means lying down, and vertical means standing up. This is a critical distinction.
2. Friendships don’t always start with a bang or a whimper. Sometimes, they seep in like the cold during a January recess, leaving you shivering with delight and wondering if you’d ever really lived without it settled into the gaps between your bones.
3. That girl on the dance team who started high school when I started fifth grade is not the oldest person in the whole wide world, and in fact is very much almost my age, and in further fact is a better friend than idol.
4. When you make a friend who exists outside the torn edges of a paperback you will learn their entire history not in an hour and a half and a few hundred pages, but rather a few hundred hours and a page and a half, maybe. You will spend most of those hours wondering about the parts you have not been told. 
5. A circle is made up of all the points that are equidistant from a single point.
6. A good essay has an introduction, several body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
7. Enough California history to want to move to Virginia.
8. Taylor Swift died at sixteen.
 a.Taylor Swift did not die at sixteen, and her best songs are usually wildly inappropriate.
9. The Harry Potter series is not nearly as scary but much more sad than it was made out to be.
 a. Harry Potter is not just a series; it’s an obsession.
 b. Harry Potter is not just an obsession, it’s a lifestyle.
10. Best friends are hard to come by, and they are often the least impressive person in the room at first glance. The best best friends are the ones you fall a little in love with.
11. If you fall a little in love with someone you are vaguely acquainted with you should make them one of your best friends as soon as possible so as to avoid losing several years of what could have been an epic friendship.
12. Stupid white boys do not get any less stupid in middle school.
 a. Neither does math class.
 b. That doesn’t mean you will crush on the stupid white boy in your math class any less.
13. At least, until you see Him across the history classroom.
14. When you’ve read more romance novels in your life than the rest of your seating row combined you will become a romantic at heart. Symptoms include: crushing on every boy in aforementioned seating row for at least two weeks in the first semester of sixth grade. The last one, who sits right next to you, will last two years. This is inconvenient.
15. Twilight is a good form of sex ed, but not as good as fanfiction.
16. Horizontal means lying down, vertical means standing up, the distinction is less critical in-- certain situations, and I did not need to know that for another three years at least.
17. In the mornings the California sun will peak through the blinds of every window, whisper hello, and slip away to the next one. It’s a gentle caress as familiar as a mother’s hand, and on rainy days it is sorely missed. Perhaps this is why rainy days are so delightfully depressing.
18. A posse is made up of a group of people that are equally close to a single stupid white boy.
 a. Do not refer to someone’s posse as a harem unless you want to be given a horrified look and a relatively wide berth for the rest of the year.
19. That boy who sits next to me in history, who has been playing piano since the womb, probably, has nice hands and a crooked smile and a tendency to run his hands through his hair when he’s trying to convince me to let him copy my homework.
 a. You know what else he has? A girlfriend.
20. Sometimes you will wake up in the morning with another best friend and no memory of how they wiggled their way into your heart.
 a. (Spoiler alert-- she’s the best thing that ever happened to you, idiot.)
21. So, like. Gay people exist. 
22. A scatter plot is made up of several points that are distributed on a graph and fall into a particular pattern.
23. A friend group is made up of several people that are distributed in a cafeteria corner that fall into a particular pattern. 
24. Piano Boy from sixth-grade history is willing to befriend me outside the context of class. This is the most important revelation I will have for the entirety of the first half of seventh grade.
25. So, like. LGBT people exist in real life. 
26. What you do to one side of an equation, you do to the other. Balance is crucial.
27. Except I’ve been learning to balance on my tippy-toes since I was six years old, so why does talking to him make me stumble over my own feet?
28. Piano Boy likes me back!
 a. Piano Boy confesses, then doesn’t talk to me for a month or seven.
 b. Piano Boy now has a girlfriend.
 c. Stupid bastard.
29. So, like. All sorts of queer people exist! In real life! I know one!
30. This year, in eighth grade, I no longer define myself by a boy with a crooked smile and piano hands and the sort of naivety that thinks it is love. This feels freer than I want to give it credit for, but not for long, because
31. So this is what crushing on a girl feels like. 
32. Oh.
 a. Oh.
 b. Ah.
 c. Ah--
 d. Hm.
33. Happiness is now, happiness is what is here, happiness is sun and studying and friendship and dancing. But Happiness is anticipation, Happiness is what comes next, Happiness is the promise of tomorrow.
34. Misery is losing the promise of tomorrow.
35. Let’s rewind a bit.
 a. Happiness is spending an entire night in the best place in the world, with the girls you call family and boba milk tea and an entire night to do whatever you want.
 b. Happiness is playing Apples to Apples and exchanging gifts and making leaf puns.
 c. Happiness is sitting in the corner and watching her dance as though the stars themselves are entwined with her flying fingertips, last run-through and then I’m free-- but I want to see you dance more-- constellation fingers are much better than piano hands.
 d. Happiness is falling asleep amidst tangled limbs and sleeping bags. (Sleep’s not the only thing I’m falling into, but I don’t know that yet.)
36. Happiness is casual kisses on the shoulder and slipping my hand into constellations and friends forever, right?
37. R i g h t.
38. High school is scarier than Harry Potter was in second grade, and the future scarier than that, and facing it alone the most terrifying of all.
39. But everyone knows that.
40. Happiness is falling mid-dance with a laugh, walls of sadness falling down for a little while, falling asleep tangled in less limbs than before but more kisses (despite all the walls that can’t come down, despite friends forever), having already fallen deep into this river of the sky, hey mountain meet moon, and the seas turn the silver of the stars at her fingertips.
41. Capital-H Happiness is still the promise of tomorrow, except the best thing about tomorrow is that it comes after today, because today there are memes and puns and compliments and philosophical discussions and how are yous and good mornings and no us and maybe just lowercase happiness is enough for me right now.
42. A smattering of French: je t’adore jusqu’a l’étoiles tombent du ta bout des doigts.
I will love you until the stars fall from your fingertips.
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jancys-blue-bayou · 5 years ago
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If you are still taking requests could write about Jancy when they were younger? I see a lot of posts about the idea of Jonathan liking Nancy since when Mike & Will became friends and Nancy possibly having some feelings too. I think it would be cute if they first met at one of their sibling's bday party where the sibs are like 6 (grade 1) and they are 10 (grade 5) and just exploring the feelings and interactions throughout the years building and leading up to the event of them getting together.
Great prompt! Not exactly what you asked for here with the birthday party but, here you get Jancy reminiscing about growing up and noticing each other. From their first day of kindergarten to Mike and Will’s first day to more…
Also on Ao3 and FFnet!
”Do you remember when we first met?”
They’re just laid cuddling in his bed one night when Nancy asks him the question. It’s been a wonderful day in all its simplicity. Being with Nancy will never be simplistic of course, but it’s nice that they’ve now been together long enough to have developed routines. Comfortable and nice, just spending all their time together doing nothing special. Nothing special is really nice after everything they’ve gone through. After school they went to his house, studied together for awhile. Had dinner with his family. Fooled around in his room for awhile. Then Nancy said good night to him, his mom and his brother. And then snuck back in through his bedroom window as always. He suspects his mom has seen right through their routine but as long as she doesn’t bring it up, he’s sure as hell not going to so they keep going at this charade pretending like he and Nancy doesn’t also spend all their nights together.
”Of course. First day of kindergarten. You had a pink dress and pink backpack and you had your hair in two braids. With pink scrunchies,” he smiles at the still vivid memory of five year old Nancy Wheeler.
”I like pink,” she tells him and gives him a light smack on the arm. ”But I don’t really remember you from the first day, I think it was the third day I noticed you.”
”Makes sense, I tried to make myself invisible. School was scary with all the new people.”
”Aw.”
”But yes it was the third day. You were the first person who talked to me. I mean, besides Mrs. Morton.”
”Aw, really? You didn’t speak to anyone the first two days?”
”No, I was scared to. Everything was new, the first day I just tried to get used to everything. I thought I would try and talk to someone the second day but when I was walking in uh, Steve and Tommy pointed out my old shoes and jacket and laughed because they were old and scuffed and too big for me. Since I was supposed to grow into them. And everyone turned around and looked and laughed so then I figured it best to try and not to be noticed so I didn’t say anything.”
”That’s awful, I don’t remember that.”
”I don’t think you were there right then.”
”Steve used to be such a little jerk. Tommy still is.”
”Yeah. Well, water under the bridge now. Anyway, so yeah you were the first person who talked to me, the next day. When you asked me if I wanted to play hopscotch with you and Barb.”
”You were just stood in the corner of the schoolyard near us.”
”I was trying to stay clear of the boys.”
”You said yes though, when I asked you. Why did you do that if you wanted to be invisible?”
”I don’t know… you seemed nice. And even if I’ve never exactly been the most sociable…”
”No, stop…” Nancy josses him.
”… three days of no talking was a bit much even for me. So I said yes because you seemed nice and I had seen you and Barb play hopscotch before and I thought that looked more fun than that game the boys played where they threw the ball at each other and then just tackled each other to the ground.”
”Hah, yeah. Barb didn’t want me too invite you to play with us at first I remember. We were pretty suspicious of all boys but you seemed different. You were quiet, I didn’t know boys could be quiet.”
”Really?” He chuckles.
”Well yeah all the other boys in the class was just… loud. And Mike was almost two years old and very loud. You were the first boy I met who wasn’t loud, I liked that.”
He giggles at that.
”I wish I had played more with you. I don’t get why we didn’t, you were fun to play with it even though you were so shy. But I was so tied to Barb, we did pretty much everything together just the two of us back then.”
”Yeah… I wish we had too but, eh. It is what it is. Maybe if I’d been less shy.”
”You wouldn’t have been you then. Hey, remember when Mike and Will started kindergarten?”
”Yeah. Will was so nervous just like I’d been but I promised him I’d show him around and all, that I’d have his back and that he’d meet lots of new friends. He was glued to my side for as long as he could, he didn’t want to go into class when the bell rung and we’d have to go our separate ways.”
”Aw.”
”And I remember I was worried since they had recess earlier than us, if he’d be okay. But when I got out he was on the swings with Mike and talking to him like they’d known each other forever. And then you were there next to me.”
”Yeah. It was the same for me, I promised mom I’d look after Mike. He was such a scaredy cat back then and shy. He told me after that Will asked him to play on the swings with him and that was that. So I could kind of back off. But you know, when I first saw Mike on the swings with Will I had to look twice because Will looked so much like you did in kindergarten. Right down to the clothes even.”
”Yeah I remember, you turned to me and said he must be my brother.”
”And you said yes and asked me if Mike was my brother.”
”And you said yes and asked me to play again.”
They lay in a comfortable silence for awhile, the trip down memory lane evoking more images of the past to think of. Nancy breaks the silence first.
”Do you remember when they talked us into being part of their campaign?”
”I remember you in elf ears,” Jonathan giggles.
”Shut up! I was being a good sister,” Nancy smacks him on the arm again but can’t help but giggle herself.
”You always were.”
”Eh, not always. Not like you. Best brother in the world. You know Mike told me years ago he was jealous that Will had a cool older brother. You were always the coolest.”
”To nerdy twelve year old boys,” Jonathan self-deprecatingly notes with a smirk.
”Hey, I think you’re pretty cool too,” Nancy grins and gives him a peck on the cheek.
”Thanks, you too. I always thought you were cool.”
”Oh please, not just another suburban girl?” She smirks.
”Nope, that was me being dumb,” he smiles.
The silence returns for a few moments while he’s thinking, remembering. He presses a kiss to her hair and speaks up again.
”Do you know when I first realized I really um, liked you?”
Nancy pokes her head up, intrigued.
”No?”
”It was sixth grade I think, Halloween. When we took the boys trick or treating. The boys were all doing Star Wars as a group costume and Will talked me into being Obi-Wan. I was going to look after them anyway so. But I didn’t know you were coming too.”
”Mike begged me to be Princess Leia. Apparently it wouldn’t be a complete group costume without a Leia. I agreed because I liked to dress up. I think that’s how he managed to convince me to be an elf for DnD that time too.”
”I remember thinking you looked pretty even with the ridiculous Leia hair.”
”When I commit, I commit.”
”I know. And I love that. And the moment I realized I really really liked you was-”
”Ooh you really really liked me?” She interrupts with a grin.
”Shut up,” he chuckles and rolls his eyes.
”Like, like-liked me?” She continues, waggling her eyebrows at him.
”… yes, at that age I really really like, like-liked you,” he concedes. She snickers and gives him another kiss on the cheek. ”And the moment I realized it was when we were all leaving your house to go trick or treating and you took out a whole city map and folded it out on the ground and you had marked out in detail every block and street we needed to hit for the best candy, and in what order.”
”That was the moment?”
”Yeah. Because you looked really cute in your outfit and you were really smart, like, I don’t think anyone else ever would’ve thought like you. I still don’t. Whether it’s to score the best haul at trick or treating or to defeat a monster I… always loved your plans. And the haul was good.”
Nancy kisses him on the lips. He closes his eyes, relishing the feeling of her lips on his. When he opens his eyes she’s beaming, looking down at him.
”You are sweet. But did you know I kind of liked-liked you before that?”
”What? You did?”
This revelation surprises him. He knows his own feelings of course, knows what he had kind of liked Nancy for years before things started to really happen between them. But he has never considered that she would’ve felt anything for him really before that autumn they were thrown together in a life and death search for their loved ones.
”Fifth grade. When we actually took them to see Star Wars. Remember?”
”Yeah. I remember them having light saber battles the whole way home.”
”Me too,” Nancy giggles at the memory.
”And sitting with you next to the aisle because the boys wanted to sit closer to the center. I was nervous about that, sitting next to you.”
”I was excited to sit next to you instead of Mike,” Nancy grins. ”But don’t you remember what happened? With the popcorn?”
”The popcorn?”
”I dropped mine when someone bumped into me when we were finding our seats. And I was upset about it because mom had given me money to buy popcorn for me and Mike and a soda each and now I had wasted mine. But you immediately insisted I’d have yours instead. I had to convince you that you didn’t have to give me all but that we could maybe share, which we did.”
”Oh yeah, I remember. I felt bad. Losing popcorn would’ve upset me too so I wanted to make it right.”
”And you did. And I thought that was real nice of you, you didn’t have to do that but you wanted to do it. You were nice and kind because that’s who you were. Are, who you are. And then I accidentally grabbed your hand when I was reaching for popcorn and it was the first time I ever held hands with a boy. And I liked it. Even though we let go of each other in an instant like we’d been shocked,” Nancy dissolves into giggles at that last part. He laughs with her.
”It was the first time for me too. Holding hands, with a girl I mean. Do you know the second time?”
”No?”
”Also with you. In your bedroom, the morning after I pulled you from the tree. When your mom didn’t knock.”
The way she’s smiling down at him makes his heart do somersaults. She leans down and kisses him again, in the process taking both his hands in hers, holding them while letting them rest on his chest. Her thumb strokes his scar.
”I remember.”
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glitchyartist · 5 years ago
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THANKS FOR THE TAG @ongaku-ato-kakikomi
Rules: answer 10 questions then ask 10 questions.
1. What was your favorite toy growing up?
I have a white Teddy Bear named Nana. She has a red nose and a white bow around her neck. I don't remember who gave her to me, but she has "Godiva 2004" stitched in gold on her foot. I'm guessing she was some kind of anniversary item for Godiva chocolate. I also have a Shadow the hedgehog plush, and all but one of his arms have fallen off and been sewn back on three times.
2. If you could time travel, where would you go?
Maybe the 70's. They had some awesome music and I could see the neighborhood my dad grew up in back when it looked nice. I've seen how it looks now, and yikes!
3. What is the best piece of advice you've ever received?
"if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all" from my grandma and the movie Bambi. I am an empathetic person to the point where, if I upset someone I will instantly feel like I wanna jump off a bridge for doing so. Even if i was right about something. I try to be as nice as possible. Any insults a give people are given in a joking manner. If I'm ACTUALLY thinking of an insult for a person, I keep my mouth shut because it's just going to make both of us feel bad.
4. If you had to pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Probably what my parents were going to name me before they picked my actual name: Lorelei. My mom thought the name was pretty, but my dad's mom said no because that was the name of her sister, and they hated each other. And since they had already decided that if I was a boy, they were gonna name me Shawn, they decided on the female version of Shawna instead. But apparently this is the "weird" spelling, and people keep spelling my name with a "U" instead of a "W".
5. What's your favorite cheesy pickup line?
I lost my phone number, can I have yours?
6. If you could ask your cat three questions, what would they be?
To my cat Bendy, What happened to Alice and Cheese? Was it you or Mac that knocked up the cat down the street? And, why do you yell at me so much?
7. What is the funniest thing you've ever seen a stranger do?
Not sure if this counts, but since we live in the woods by a lake, we get all kinds of people come up to ride or hike the trails. The main road to the lake passes right by our house, and it's not unusual to see hikers, bikers, people on dirt bikes and ATVs, and even people on horses pass by our house. We're usually alerted to their presence by our dogs barking at them. But I will never forget the one time two people walked by our house with THREE LLAMAS. They were having trouble getting past our house because our dogs were barking and llamas are more skittish than horses. I've never seen people with llamas come up here again.
8. How many days in a row do you wear the same pair of pants before it becomes a problem?
Sweat pants and pajama bottoms I'll wear for about a week before I throw them in the laundry hamper, and unless they actually get really dirty, you don't really have to wash jeans that often. If they stay relativity clean, a pair of jeans can last me about a month.
9. Which movie sequel do you wish you could erase from history?
I probably could've lived a happy life if Shrek 3&4 had never existed. Keep the Puss in Boots spin-off, but burn those two.
10. Who was your worst teacher and why?
I've been homeschooled most of my life, and any time I had a teacher for an extracurricular thing I liked them. Although, there was a time when I was part of a charter school thing, and one of the teachers in charge of distributing the textbooks to the students screwed up and gave me the fourth grade math book, WHEN I WAS IN FIFTH GRADE. we didn't find out until the end of the school year so I had to do fifth grade math in sixth grade and that threw everything off and I ended up having to do sixth grade TWICE. I was already a year ahead of other kids my age anyway so it didn't make THAT big of a difference. But still!
And now for my questions,
1. What's your favorite music genre?
2. What band(s) or song(s) remind you of your childhood anytime you hear them?
3. What's your favorite Pokemon type?
4. If you suddenly woke up in cowboy times, what job would you want to have?
5. What is an accent you like to mimic? (You don't have to mimic it well)
6. What kind of collections or mini shrines do you have?
7. What dog breed would you want to own?
8. What cat breed would you like to own?
9. Five Nights At Freddy's or Bendy And The Ink Machine?
10. Roll for dexterity.
Tagging @the-pumpkin-demon @10th-no-name-person @randowaffle @anon-green @pmaismydna @caesardoe @fairyofsomething
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willofhounds · 5 years ago
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Chasing a Scammander ch 10
Newt's POV
It wasnt until several hours later that they exited his case. Newt made sure it was securely latched before turning his attention to the two men.
Percival seemed to be considering everything that he had seen. Gently trying to educate his fellow wizards was taking a long time. However, it seemed to be slowly getting through to some people. With any luck, it would continue to get through to people.
Percival turned his back to Newt and the younger man caught sight of a tattoo on the back of his neck. It was a flowering bud. The very same tattoo that was on Newt's right arm. On Metz's left shoulder as well. Theseus had one on his right cheek.
Newt inquired carefully, "Graves where did you get that mark on your neck?"
Instinctively Graves's hand went to where the mark was. His response was soft almost as if he couldn't remember, "I've had it for as long as I can remember. Why are you asking?"
Newt rolled up the sleeve to his shirt to reveal the very same mark. He replied, "Our parents found that Theseus and I were born with the same mark. In our hands was a round ball with an inscription in the middle. Mine says Devotion."
"Mine says gratitude," whispered Theseus.
Percival pulled out an ocean blue gem as he said, "Mine is Duty."
In his travels, Newt heard of a story concerning gems that appeared at birth.
Lady Fuse was the one who sealed away Murasame the first time. Binding him to this realm and to the form of a sword and bird. She later fought against Tamazusa. Alone she was losing and the world was threatened to fall into eternal darkness.
Eight warriors came to her aid each holding a unique and special trait. After winning against Tamazusa she stabbed herself and made a promise to resurrect and grant the wishes of the incarnations of her eight fallen warriors. Eight gems then appeared in the afterlife and are each born by the eight reincarnations of the dog warriors of legend. Duty, devotion, faith, brotherhood, loyalty, wisdom, etiquette, and benevolence.
Even to the young seeker, he thought that they were just stories. There should have been away for it to be true. Yet here three of them were.
Theseus queried curiosity in his eyes, "What are you thinking Newt?"
"Just something I heard once," Newt shook his head.
Maybe he would tell his brother about it one day. That day was not today, however.
Percival stated suddenly, "I'll talk to Picquery about allowing you to work in the country and allowing you to leave as needed. With your skillset and the amount of creature knowledge you have, I'm sure she'll agree. Once she does I'll send the proper permits you need for each of your creatures."
Newt could only blink dumbfoundedly. Percival was going to do what now?
Theseus laughed shaking his head, "He will work with you, little one. He's saying that you will be able to take your creatures to New York with you."
Oh... that wasnt what he was expecting at all. There was still one more thing he would need though. The one thing he wasnt likely to receive.
"I also need an international floo connection. There might be a time where I'll have to leave at a moment's notice. If you cant deal with that then I'm not the person for you."
Percival sighed, "That can be arranged. I wonder though. Is it about that place in Germany? The Huntik Foundation?"
So the man did remember the Foundation. It wasnt that surprising given that one of its members had activated Percival's abilities. Unlike Newt it had not been an accident but a deliberate attempt. Percival would need training to fully utilize his new abilities. If he was open to it Newt could give him at least the basics.
Newt wasnt much of a teacher. Seeker magic was something that either came easily to the seeker. Or it didnt.
In the beginning, Newt had difficulty with seeker magic. Summoning titans was easy and he able to complete a summoning his first try. Though if the chase was any indication Percival would have no problem with magic. He had instinctively used feather drop and landed on a train. That was not something someone with problems using their seeker magic would do. Then again he had been wrong before.
For now, though he would follow his instincts. For now, that would be going to New York.
Gellert's POV
Three months had passed since he saw the seeker with the red hair and green eyes. In that time there had been little to no activity from the seeker world. At least activity that he could track.
Seekers were almost as secretive as the history that they uncovered. Tracking any seeker at all was next to impossible.
Wizards had to register if they became a seeker but it was too easy for them to change their names. In doing so they could be registered under one name and operate under another.
He suspected this was what young Lambert was doing. The key was to find out what the man's name.
Vinda opened the door without knocking. While he raised an eyebrow at her he didn't curse her. If it had been anyone else he would have. As his second in command, she was given more liberties than others.
In her hands held a file. It was thick but not overflowing. Most likely a Ministry file on a wizard to bring into their ranks.
As she approached she threw that theory out the window when she said, "My lord I found him," Gellert took the file and opened it reading through the information as she continued, "Lukas Lambert is also known as Newton Fido Artemis Scamander. He is the second son of the Scamander Family."
:And something of a trouble maker,: thought Gellert as he saw the sheer amount of detentions the younger man received.
Almost all of the detentions had to do with creatures. Or he was sneaking into the Forbidden Forest. Despite all of this though Newton's grades were all exceeding expectations or higher.
He achieved 8 OWLs in his fifth year but was expelled in his sixth year. According to his file, it was for bringing in a dangerous creature to the school. Apparently, Albus had spoken up for the boy. This kept his wand from being snapped.
That was when he entered the war and of all places the Dragon Platoon. Gellert had heard of the man on the Allies side who could tame dragons but never encountered him.
After the war Scamander had practically disappeared off the face of the Earth. No one magical or muggle could track him.
That was until two months ago when he suddenly began working for MACUSA. It seemed his newest interest had caught the attention of the aurors. He had to wonder what they had on Newton. The redhead didn't seem like one to work with the government without a reason.
He ordered, "See what you can find of about this. Put one of our spies into his new department. I want to know everything that happens."
"Yes my lord," sighed Vinda.
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mars-colony · 6 years ago
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OC Interview
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1. Choose an OC.
2. Answer them as that OC.
3. Tag 5 people to do the same.
I was re-tagged by @marvilus73, and I think a few other people a;sdlfj so here’s an interview with Vince.
1. What is your name? Vince Yoon. Only my grandmother called me Vincent.
2. Do you know why are you named that? Good question, but I don't have an answer for you.
3. Are you single or taken? Oh, I'm taken alright. [pauses] Taken for granted. [laughs at his own joke]
4. Have any abilities or powers? I have the ability to walk away from this interview at any time, and the power to ask you to leave this settlement. I'm just teasing, of course.
5. Stop being a Mary Sue. Sure thing, pal. Soon as you start explainin' what that means.
6. What’s your eye color? Blue, like my father's.
7. How about your hair color? Oh, I dunno. Purple or something. [gestures at his clearly black hair]
8. Have any family members? My family gets a bit bigger every day. Every settlement that joins the Minutemen is good as family in my book.
9. Oh? How about pets? Does Bobby count? No? [waves off the question] He should qualify just by the amount of takin' care of him I have to do.
10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like? Ask me what I do like, that list might be shorter.
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do? The Diamond City baseball league's gotten off to a pretty rocky start so it hardly qualifies. In my college days I was almost always battin' three hundred, could be better now if the damn league ever straightens out. [gestures in exasperation] You would not believe how hard it is to explain to Moe that you don't gotta kill the opposing team.
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before? Well if breakin' hearts hurts, I'm guilty. [chuckles at his own joke] Lock me up.
13. Ever… killed anyone before? Askin' questions like that, you're bound to find out, buddy.
14. What kind of animal are you? Oh, probably something fluffy and uglier than sin.
15. Name your worst habits? I care too much and don't take anything damn near as serious as I should.
16. Do you look up to anyone at all? No, I'm a pretty tall guy so...
17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual? Sorry, buddy. This ride's closed.
18. Do you go to school? I mean, yeah I went to college, but I was honestly just there to play ball. After the draft and the front lines, the majors were kind of out of the question, ya know.
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day? [Grows quiet and less animated] You know, there's some things you only try once.
20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys? Oh yeah, the raiders, the gunners, the mutants. Big fans.
21. What are you most afraid of? That this interview will never end, and you'll just keep asking me questions until I look like a dried up mutfruit and then I'll die.
22. What do you usually wear? Well Preston got me all set up with this fancy shmancy uniform. It's pretty neat. Otherwise I'm just a t-shirt and jeans kinda guy. Maybe slacks if I'm tryin' to look fancy.
23. What’s one food that tempts you? Oh, man, do I miss my Mother's kimchi something awful. There's nothing else like it. Nothing compares to it now.
24. Am I annoying to you? [Laughs] Well, that's a long list, don't get too offended.
25. Well, it’s still not over! [The smile drops from his face]
26. What class are you (low/middle/high)? Uhhh... maybe fifth... sixth grade? Nor always told me I should go back to Kindergarten for bein' so mean.
27. How many friends do you have? I've got friends all over. We could be friends, too. [mutters under his breath] If you stopped askin' such stupid questions.
28. What are your thoughts on pie? Pie? You trying to kill me or something? Man, does pie even exist anymore?
29. Favorite drink? Nothing beats a stiff drink of whiskey on the rocks. Nothing.
30. What’s your favorite place? Bed.
31. Are you interested in anyone? Me, me, and me. And any settlement that needs my help.
32. That was a stupid question… [Nods impatiently]
33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? Swimming. Ha. Why not Lake Quannapowitt? Then I'll really be glowing.
34. What’s your type? German Shepard.
35. Any fetishes? Peace and quiet.
36. Camping or outdoors? Camping sounds like something an idiot would do these days.
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bwunch · 5 years ago
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Coming Home
@awolfstory rather liked this story when I gave it to them to critique, so I figured I’d post it. I’m going to try and get back into writing this kind of escapist fiction, as it does rather seem to help keep my happy while I’m writing it. This story is really dedicated to him, but he doesn’t need to know that, now does he.———————————————————————- I checked my watch, although the bell for fifth period had just rung so I knew exactly what time it was. “OK class,” I announced standing up to begin the period, “as I’m sure you all remember, you had a page of notes on act III of Macbeth due today. I’m gonna take attendance, walk around and check that, and then we’re going to watch the movie version of act III and the start of IV. General reminder, please don’t be distracting to those around you while the movie is playing, especially me, as I’ve got quite a lot of work to get finished. I still have 40 essays to grade, so thank you for that.”
I very quickly scanned the room to make sure everyone was here, and then walked around to check the notes. Everyone had done them, for once. I went over to the DVD player that was older than I am, and pressed the power button. It would need a second to work properly, so I walked over to the windows and close the blinds. As I close the blinds on the window in the very back of the room, I notice a car is parked out in the drop off lane. I take no note of it, thinking it’s probably just a delivery for a late lunch. I’ve had many of those, and many more late dinners than I care to admit, delivered to the school. But not tonight. I was determined to get everything done before the dismissal bell rang, so that I could bolt home and finish cleaning before making dinner and waiting for him to come home.
Three years. I think back on the person I was three years ago, and I’m a little shocked he didn’t leave me before signing up for another enlistment. I wasn’t a horrible person, but I was a bit of a wreck. I hadn’t started teaching yet, I was fresh out of college with a little too much debt to be comfortable with. But he stayed, even if he technically did leave. And I miss him every day with every fiber of my soul.
The phone rings, which is a bit bizarre. The phone never rings. That means something must be going on. I make an audible groaning sound as I put down my pen and pick up the receiver. “Dr. Sutton’s room. The doctor is currently out, but I can schedule an appointment to meet with them if you’d like.”
“Oliver, shut up.” replies Nessa, the chemistry teacher from down the halls and literally one of the only people who has saved me from dying of sadness while he’s been gone. “I need to run down to the front office and pick up a delivery from the front office, can you come watch my class for a moment while I do that.”
“Ness, I can just go get it for you.” I say, slightly confused.
“I’ve got to sign for it. Now get your butt over here so that the delivery guy isn’t standing down there all day.” they say. I respond that I’ll be over in a moment in the most exasperated voice I can muster.
“Class, I need to go to Dr. Drake’s room for a moment while they grab something from the office. Stay here, watch the movie, if anyone needs me, call their room. The number is on the sticky note next to the phone.” I say, grabbing my jacket since their room is always frigid.
I head down the hall, hauling 30 some essays under my arm. I enter their room, and they head out. I sit there and continue grading. I check my watch. 20 mins until the period is out. I can get these done in a little over an hour.
10 mins later, the phone rings. What the fuck did they do.
I pick up the phone. “Shhhhh…” I hear someone in the background. The movie is not playing. “Dr. Sutton, can you come down here. There’s been… a problem with the DVD player.” I hear, before people giggle in the background. I swear, these kids.
“Don’t cheat.” I say to the class as I exit the room. I head down the hall. The light in my room flashes off. God damnit.
“What happened!” I say, more out of anxiety than anger. The lights flick on.
And there he is. Sitting right in the front row. Smiling at me. I hear something in the background, but I can’t make it out exactly. It doesn’t matter. The 13 discordant horns of the Apocalypse could be sounding around me, but he’s there, so it doesn’t matter.
I may have started to cry a little bit.
“Hi…” he tries to say before I interrupt him with the most desperate hug I’ve ever managed. He hugs me back, and I definitely start crying. Not an embarrassing amount, but it’s definitely there.
“I love you so much.” I say, before squeezing and letting go. “I have waited so long for that.”
“So have I.” he says. I stare into his bright blue eyes and wonder how if anyone had ever had blue eyes before he did, because nothing compared to that blue. It pierced into my very soul, and carried me like I was floating on the ocean.
“Uhmm… do y’all need a minute?” I hear Nessa pipe up from the back corner.
I stand up straight and remember that all of that happened in front of a roomful of students (and Ness, but they’ve seen me do stupider shit). “Uhh… sorry about that y’all. I’d like to introduce you to my boyfriend. He’s been overseas with the army for three years now. But now he’s home, and I just… god I couldn’t stand to have another day with you gone.” I say, turning towards him. His dark curly hair has fallen more perfect then Donatello could’ve imagined. I hate it so much. I hate how he can just shower, and have it fall so perfectly, have it be so soft. The shit I have to do to get my hair to do that.
“I couldn’t have said it any better myself.” He says, before he begins to dig around in his pocket. “Will you do me the honour of making sure that never happens.” He gets on one knee and produces a small box. Inside it is a ring made of a soft gold. I start crying again.
“Whoa!” exclaims Ness. “Why didn’t you tell me! Is that why you needed their ring size!?”
“I mean… why else would I need it?” He says, still on the ground. There are no words coming out of my mouth. Just tears and gasps of air as I try and make sure this isn’t a dream.
I fall to my knees, wincing when I land on my bad knee. Who am I kidding, they both suck. My worse knee.
I kiss him. I really shouldn’t, being at work and all, but I don’t care at this point. I kiss him deeper. I only stop when I physically can’t breathe anymore.
“Is that a yes?” He says. He’s a fucking idiot.
“Oh my lord, yes you idiot!” I say. He stands up and offers me a hand. At least he’s polite. I take it and pull myself up.
Ness comes over and gives me a big hug. “There, now we won’t need anymore ice cream nights for a while, right?”
I may have spent a lot of money on almond milk ice cream in the last three years.
“No, no we won’t.” I say, putting on the biggest shit eating grin imaginable. I hear a bunch of people start clapping behind me before I hear the bell go off.
“Shit, is that the sixth period bell?” I say.
“Maybe…” replies Nessa.
“Go, get going to your next class. No homework, obviously. If anyone gives you trouble, let them know to call me. Have a good weekend.” I say, shooing out my fifth period kids.
I turn to my fiancé. Gonna have to get used to that. I turn to my amazing, beautiful, charming, stupid fiancé. “You made my kids late.” I say, with a stupid grin. I kiss his cheek.
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