#but what i want is it to be an in depth conversation | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

earthchica · 18 hours ago

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Make It Right

terry richmond x black, fem!/plus size reader

summary: Terry makes it right and apologizes to you for his words and his behavior; soon, you and Terry talk through your issues, getting a better understanding of each other and rebuilding your communication.

warnings: angst, slight communication issues, serious conversation, explicit smut (18+), light daddy kink, oral (f), rough pent-up sex, making out, flirting, fluff, domestic life, romantic dinner, family vacation, nicknames [ baby, sweetheart, mama, baby girl & more ] words: 5k

note: please enjoy, but there may be some errors.

sequel to { funny how time flies } mini-series masterlist previous chapter { everything I ever wanted }

You heard the soft creak of the bedroom door as it opened and then shut, the sound echoing in the quiet bedroom. Suddenly, a familiar warmth enveloped you as Terry wrapped his arms around you, trying to pull you into an embrace.

You could feel the weight of his body pressing against yours, but frustration bubbled up inside you. “Get off of me, Terry!” you exclaimed, your voice sharp and annoyant as you firmly shoved him away.

You shifted towards the head of the bed, separating you from the man you hurt your feelings. Terry stood there, a blend of guilt and despair washing over his features.

“I’m sorry, baby. I-I,” Terry stammered, his words tumbling out in a rush as his eyes roamed your face, searching for a glimmer of understanding.

The remorse in his gaze was sincerity, which struck a deep chord within you. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.” He sat on the bed and moved closer, extending a hand as if trying to bridge the emotional depth that had formed between you.

“I’m so grateful to have you; you’re such an incredible wife and an amazing mother to our son.” His voice cracked slightly, laden with the weight of his apology, as he pleaded for you to see the truth in his words.

"No, why would you say you're tired of me? How could you say something like that to me of all people?" you yelled, your voice rising as a flood of emotions engulfed you.

A mix of anger and hurt made your heart race. "Baby, I didn't mean—" Terry started to respond, his voice still remorseful, but you couldn't let him finish.

You cut him off, allowing your pent-up emotions to spill like water gushing from a broken dam.

"Do you even grasp how I've been feeling these past few months?" your voice trembled, each word charged with frustration and hurt. "It feels like I'm carrying the whole load on my shoulders, all alone."

"If you’ve been feeling this, why didn't you communicate that to me? You know I'm not a damn mind reader!” Terry shot back, his tone rising and more urgent.

"So it's my fault again?” you retorted, your frustration boiling. “Why don't you take some accountability for once, Terry? You used to know how to support me or recognize when I was struggling without me having to spell it out for you."

Your words hung in the air, charged with the weight of unspoken expectations and the longing for understanding that felt increasingly out of reach.

Terry took a deep breath, his shoulders slumping as he faced you directly, the moment's weight heavy between you. “Look, I know I messed up badly,” he began, his voice low and sincere.

“I hurt you, and that’s not right. I should have never said I was tired of you. That was just disrespectful. You deserve so much better than that.”

Terry paused, searching for the right words, his eyes filled with regret. “I see how hard you work every day taking care of our son. You do everything for our family; I have taken that for granted. I haven’t been there like I should have been, allowing my frustrations to cloud my judgment.”

Terry stepped closer, his hands outstretched, palms up. “I got no excuses. What I said was wrong, and I’m ashamed of it. You’ve been carryin’ so much, I’m sorry, for real. I wanna make it right, whatever it takes. I'll support you better, listen more, and be the husband I know I can be.”

As he spoke, you could see the love and remorse etched on his face—deep lines of worry creased his brow. But it was hard for you to process his words fully at that moment.

You let out a shaky breath, feeling the anger decrease slightly. "I hear you, Terry,” you said softly, almost dismissively. “But right now, I just need some space…I think you should sleep on the couch.”

You get off the bed to grab your shower cap, go to the bathroom, and close the door. You hear Terry leave the bedroom, the silence filling the space again.

After your shower, you take your time with your night routine, meticulously applying your skincare products as if the physical act could somehow cleanse the emotional turmoil still swirling inside you.

Each motion rhythm felt almost meditative, yet the weight of the conversation earlier loomed heavily in your mind. You are dressed in a comfortable tank top and pajama shorts, feeling the fabric against your skin, a small comfort amidst the chaos of your thoughts.

Finally, you climbed into bed, the sheets cool against your skin, but the emptiness beside you felt overwhelming. The thought of Terry not being close to you despite the hurt made the room quiet.

You wrapped the thick blanket tightly around you, trying to find solace in the familiar fabric, yet you couldn't shake off the need for his presence.

Deep down, you craved the warmth of his body next to yours, the security you felt when he embraced him, even if your heart still stung from his words.

With a shaky sigh, you swung your legs over the side of the bed and decided to seek him out. You padded down the hallway, glancing at the clock—it was already late, and you wondered how long you’d been lost in thought.

As you reached the bottom of the stairs, the sight of him slumped over on the small loveseat in the living room tugged at your heart. His long frame seemed crammed into the little seat, the edges of the cushions barely accommodating his size.

“Terry…” you called softly, barely rising above a whisper. He lifted his head at the sound of your voice, eyes widening with surprise and a hint of hope.

“Yeah,” he replied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, his voice thick with fatigue. “Um...” you started, crossing your arms over your chest, unsure how to proceed.

The remnants of the hurt and irritation still lingered, yet the sight of his uncomfortable state and weary expression stirred something inside you.

“Come to bed,” you said softly with no expression, and his expression shifted to relief. “Are you sure?” Terry asked, a mixture of cautious optimism laced in his tone.

“Yeah, just…come on,” you replied, trying to sound more convinced than you felt. Terry was always so imposing as he stood up but looked helpless and small.

Without another word, he followed you back upstairs, and the silence between you felt thick. As you entered the bedroom, you climbed back into the bed, the sheets still warm where you had been.

Terry lingered by the door momentarily, hesitation clear on his face. “Are you still upset?” he asked, his voice soft yet heavy with concern. “I am,” you replied, not wanting to lie or sugarcoat the situation.

“But I don’t want to sleep alone. Maybe we can talk more tomorrow when we’re both in a better headspace.” You said softly. Terry nodded, understanding and regret evident in his eyes.

With a heavy sigh, he climbed into bed beside you, leaving a respectful and cautious distance between you. The silence hung between you until it was almost suffocating, but neither knew how to break it.

Instead, you both lay there, staring at the ceiling and pretending to be asleep. Eventually, sleep found its way to you both. The night felt long, but eventually, morning came with the promise of a new day.

As the sun peaked through the curtains, you stirred awake first, feeling the warmth of Terry's body against you, and you glanced over at him; your heart softened just a bit as you watched him breathe softly.

After last night's argument, some of you wanted to stay angry and distant from Terry, but another part just wanted things back to normal. You knew in your heart that you two would work this out somehow.

You turn over, gently reach over, and place your hand on his cheek before returning to sleep. Terry stirred slightly and cracked open an eye if you felt your touch even in his sleep.

Terry softly smiled at your sleepy state, knowing he had to make things right. He reached for his phone, the soft glow illuminating the dim room.

Sitting up, he took a deep breath, preparing himself for a tough day ahead—not at work, but at home. He scrolled through his contacts, dialing in to call your uncle.

“Hey, Uncle Eddie,” he said after a few rings. “I won’t be coming in today…yeah, personal reasons. I need to be home…Okay, thank you.” As he hung up, he glanced over at you, still half-asleep.

Terry slid out of bed quietly, careful not to wake you. Padding softly to the baby’s room, he gently lifted Elijah from the crib. Cradling him in his arms, he marveled momentarily at how small and innocent his son looked.

“Good morning, little man,” Terry whispered, bouncing Elijah slightly as he went downstairs to the kitchen. He set the little one in the high chair, securing him safely with the straps.

The baby’s sleepy gaze slowly transformed into a wide-eyed curiosity as he watched his daddy move about the kitchen. With Elijah happily sitting in his chair, Terry began preparing breakfast.

Terry rummaged through the fridge, pulling out eggs, milk, and fresh fruit. As he cracked the eggs into the skillet, their sizzling brought a sense of calm.

Cooking had always been a form of therapy for him. “Let’s get you some breakfast, too, huh?” he chimed to Elijah as he quickly poured him a bottle.

Terry could hear Elijah's soft noises of delight, making focusing easier. Deep down, he hoped that doing this would show you his sincerity.

After feeding Elijah, Terry made a generous portion of the breakfast for you and himself and set the table. As you wake up to an empty bed, you glance at the time and feel slightly panicked.

However, you hear Terry's voice through the baby monitor, talking to Elijah in the kitchen about you, hoping this would be the start of you forgiving him for your argument last night.

As you got out of bed, rubbed the sleep from your eyes, went to brush your teeth, and washed your face before strolling downstairs towards the kitchen.

The aroma of breakfast wafting through the air, making your stomach rumble. Terry turned as he caught sight of you, a sheepish smile lighting up his face.

“Morning,” he said warmly, his voice brightening the atmosphere. “I hope you’re hungry. I made your favorite,” he added; you tilted your head, curiosity piqued. “My favorite?”

“Yeah,” he replied, setting a plate on the table before you. “Eggs, pancakes, bacon, and fresh fruit. I know you usually love a little bit of everything.”

As you sat, Elijah babbled enthusiastically in his high chair, excited to see both of you. You couldn’t help but smile at your son and kiss his forehead. "Good morning, baby boy"

You started to eat, the first few bites eliciting a sense of normalcy you desperately craved. “Thanks for making breakfast, Terry,” you said softly, focusing on Elijah. “It smells amazing.”

“I wanted to do something nice for you,” Terry admitted, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I know.....last night. I hate that we left things unresolved.”

You looked up from your plate, gauging Terry’s expression. His eyes were sincere, mixed with an undercurrent of regret. “Yeah, I appreciate that you’re trying this morning.”

Terry nodded slightly, the weight of his guilt apparent in each motion. “I just want you to know again I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean it. I was just frustrated, and I didn’t handle it well.”

You paused before responding. “I get that, Terry, but when you said that to me...my heart broke, and I thought we were locked on this, I thought-.”

“I know,” he replied, his tone dropping to a more serious level. “It’s just so hard sometimes, balancing everything— Elijah, work, our marriage. I let the stress get the best of me and took it out on you.”

"Well, I think we really need to work on our communication because ever since Elijah was born, I feel like we've lost sight of that strength we've built," you said, your voice filled with realization.

Terry acknowledged the tension in his shoulders, easing just a bit. “You're right. I've noticed it, too. I miss how we used to talk, how we could share anything without worry.”

You swallowed hard, the weight of those words resonating deeply. “Yeah, me too. Remember those late-night talks we used to have? We'd stay up for hours just dreaming about our future, making plans together. Now it feels like we're just trying to survive the day.”

“Yeah,” he said, his expression softening. “I want to go back to that. “We have to find a way to carve out time for us, even if it's just small moments here and there.”

“What do you think that looks like?” you asked, genuinely curious. “How can we make it happen?” you added. Terry took a moment, clearly contemplating.

“Maybe we could set aside a few minutes each night after Elijah goes to bed. We could just talk about our day or even watch something together. Something light and fun.”

“That sounds nice,” you replied, a smile creeping onto your face. “I would love that. But I also think we need to be able to have those conversations when things get tough. It can't all be about being positive; we must address the heavy stuff, too.”

Terry thoughtfully, his brow furrowed in concentration. “You're right. I think it's so easy to avoid conflict, thinking it will just resolve itself. But it won't, will it? We have to face it head-on before resentment builds up.”

“I can be guilty of that too,” you admitted, feeling the weight of the past few months crash over you. “I've been just bottling things up instead of expressing my feelings. It’s easier to keep the peace, even if it eats away at me.”

“I get that,” he said softly, his gaze steady on you. “But I promise to do better. I want to hear what you say, baby, no matter how difficult. I care about your feelings and will be a better husband; I want to be a better husband.”

Your heart swelled at his words. “Thank you, Terry. That means a lot, and you are a good husband and a father. We're in a tough patch, and I'm sure we'll get through. I want you to feel the same way. We need to make this a mutual effort. If I ever say something that bothers you, please don't hesitate to let me know.”

Terry reached across the table, taking his hand in yours. “You have my word. And I hope you know I'm committed to strengthening our marriage. There's nothing more important to me than you and Elijah; “I love you, baby.”

"I love you too, Terry." With those words lingering in the air, you both shared a transformative moment of understanding. It wasn't an immediate solution to all your problems, but it was a solid step.

The past few weeks have been a turning point for both of you. Communicating openly like you used to, sharing your thoughts and feelings without the weight of tension lingering in the air, had lightened the load on your heart.

As you and Terry cuddled on the couch, the warmth of his body against yours felt comforting. The lamp's soft glow lit the room just enough to create an intimate atmosphere.

You watched Elijah through the baby monitor, sleeping peacefully in his crib. “Wow, you came through, huh?” you said playfully, playing with his ears.

“I feel like I barely had to lift a finger with the housework and Elijah. You got my back like that?” You said with a smile. Terry chuckled, leaning closer to you.

“Well, if I keep you happy, it’s a win-win situation, right?” He pretended to flex his muscles, and you both laughed at the moment's silliness.

“You’re so crazy,” you teased, smirking at him. “But real talk, I appreciate it. I feel like I can finally breathe again. It’s been a minute since we had this together.”

“Right? I missed this, alot, I mean a lot a lot ” Terry expressed, his face turning soft. He brushed his thumb along your cheek, making your heart flutter.

“You know I love you, sweetheart, I wanna see you shine and be happy,” Terry said, and you smiled, feeling a little bashful under his gaze.

“Aww, Terry, I love you too so much. I know I can get caught up in my head often, but having you step up like this? It just makes me feel so much better.”

Terry leaned in closer, his breath warm against your lips. “You keep saying how I stepped up, but it’s us together making it work. You’re the heart of this whole household, baby.”

Terry paused momentarily, still gazing into your eyes, and you could feel the heat rising between you. “We’ve been keeping things going in the house lately, being a team.”

“True, that's how it's supposed to be. And it feels good to be back in sync,” you responded, feeling at ease. “It’s nice to know you’re all in, and I’m all in too.”

With that, Terry leaned in, capturing your lips with his in a slow kiss. It was sweet at first, but gradually, it deepened, both of you melting into the moment as your bodies relaxed against each other.

A playful glint sparkled in his eye when he gently pulled away, hinting at a fun idea. “You know,” he said, his voice brimming with excitement.

"We should plan a little family getaway. Somewhere we can kick back and truly relax.” He said deeply low. “A vacation?” you replied, raising an eyebrow in intrigue.

“Really?” you asked, and Terry leaned closer, the enthusiasm contagious as he continued. “Yeah! How about we spend a weekend at that villa we used to visit in Cancun?"

"And we could invite your parents to join us. It would be an excellent opportunity to unplug from all the chaos and have fun.” His eyes lit up with the thought, a sparkle mirroring his excitement.

You couldn't help but bite your lip, imagining the warm sands and gentle ocean breezes. “That sounds amazing! I adore that place. It holds so many wonderful memories for us."

"—it’s where it all began. Plus, this would be Elijah's very first vacation! What a special way to introduce him to such a beautiful location.” You gasped.

Terry chuckled softly, “So, you wanna do it?” You nodded enthusiastically, a grin spreading across your face. “Let’s do it! I can already envision the memories we can make.”

Cancun, Mexico

The sun hung high in the cerulean sky, casting a warm golden glow over the peaceful Cancun shoreline as the day unfolded—a perfect Sunday morning.

The gentle sound of waves lapping against the soft, powdery sand created a soothing rhythm while a refreshing breeze played against your dark-brown skin, carrying the faint scent of salt and beach flowers.

Elijah giggled uncontrollably as he splashed playfully in the sandy oasis around him. Tiny grains of sand stuck to his little fingers and toes, glistening like miniature jewels in the sunlight.

You and your mom were fully immersed in the moment, working together to construct an elaborate sandcastle. Its towers rose proudly, decorated with seashells and bits of seaweed, as you all hoped it could withstand the approaching tide.

“Look at you, Eli! You love the sand, huh?!” you exclaimed, your heart swelling with affection. The moment's joy was captured forever as you snapped a picture of his bright smile, his hazel eyes sparkling with delight.

Elijah's laughter echoed around you, filling the air with pure joy as you and your mom continued to shape the sandcastle. Your dad strolled, still wet from his time on the jet skis, with a broad grin.

“Y’all got some serious skills over here!” he called out, surveying the castle. "That’s lookin’ like a real palace for my grandbaby!" Your mom chuckled, smoothing out a rough edge of the sandcastle.

“A palace fit for a prince! Ain’t he just the cutest?” She looked down at Elijah, who was now trying to pick up a handful of sand and giggling when it slipped through his tiny fingers.

“Right?” you replied, grinning. Your dad squatted beside Elijah, chuckling as the baby reached out toward him, his little hands covered in sand.

“Hey, Eli? Are you makin’ masterpieces over here? You tryna start a sand empire?” He asked. Elijah let out a squeal of delight, and your dad couldn’t help but laugh.

“Aww, look at that smile! He’s sayin’ ‘I got this, grandpa!’” Just then, Terry wandered back from the jet skis, a towel draped around his neck.

“What's going on? Y’all makin’ a sandcastle? I wanna see!” Terry said, leaning down, peering curiously at Elijah. “And there’s my number one fan!”

“Look at him, Terry!” you exclaimed, scooping Elijah into your arms as his face lit up at the sight of his daddy. “He’s ready to take on the beach. He’s got sand in places I didn’t even think was possible!”

Terry laughed, reaching out to tickle Elijah’s belly, causing him to burst out in another fit of giggles. “Man, how did we get so lucky? He’s a whole treasure out here!”

“Right, such a blessing!” your mom chimed in. You looked at the happy scene around you—your parents, your husband, and your precious son—and felt your warm heart swell.

“This is what it’s all about, y’all. Family!” You said softly, and Terry smiled at you sweetly. “That's right!” your dad agreed, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“We gotta make the most of these days, y’know? Family, fun, and all this love. Ain’t nothin’ better!” With everyone laughing and loving on Elijah, the sun shone brightly overhead, casting a golden glow over your little beach paradise.

Later.

The afternoon unfolded beautifully as your family gathered around the spacious dining table at the villa, sharing a delightful lunch filled with laughter and stories.

The warm sunlight streamed through the large windows, casting a golden glow on the cozy living room where everyone eventually settled in. Plush cushions beckoned from the oversized sofas, and the aroma of delicious food lingered in the air.

Your parents, visibly relaxed and content, cherished their time with Elijah, engaging in lighthearted conversations that filled the room with joy and warmth.

Terry leaned over to you, a playful grin on his face. “How about a little adventure?” he whispered, eyeing your parents, who were busily playing their grandson.

“What do you have in mind, handsome man?” you asked, intrigued. Terry glanced toward your mom and dad. "Well, I would you love to take you out for dinner? Just the two of us?”

Your heart raced with excitement. “Really? What about Elijah?”

“Don’t worry,” he replied, giving you a reassuring smile. “I’ll ask your parents to watch him, so we can have some time for ourselves.” You couldn’t help but feel a warmth spread through you at the thought of a romantic evening.

With every detail, he sparked a thrill in your heart that had been dormant for too long. “Okay, you’ve got a deal!” You said with a smile, you rushed upstairs to freshen up.

You pulled out a multicolored sundress adorned with shapes and designs. You applied some light makeup, focusing on a touch of lip gloss that shimmered in the fading sunlight.

Staring at your reflection, you felt nostalgia and excitement, feeling beautiful and ready for the evening ahead. When you returned to where your parents and Elijah were gathered, your dad raised an eyebrow with a teasing smile.

“Wow, look at you, miss thang! Someone’s got a hot date!” He teased, and you laughed. “Just a little dinner with Terry. He has a surprise planned for us.”

"Sounds wonderful! And you two deserve it, sweet pea." Your dad said with a light smile on his face, and your mom clapped her hands together.

“Yeah. We’ll take good care of Elijah. You both go enjoy your night!” Your mom said with a smile, and you nodded, giving Elijah a kiss on the forehead before leaving.

You met Terry at the beach's edge, his eyes lighting up as he took in your dress. “You look stunning, baby,” Terry said, taking your hand as you walked together towards the car.

The drive was filled with easy conversation and laughter. As you neared your destination, you noticed a seaside restaurant nestled under twinkling lights, music wafting from within.

“Is this our spot?” you asked, excitement bubbling. “Yup! I figured we could have a nice dinner followed by some dancing,” he said with a wink, holding the door open for you as you stepped out.

Inside, the ambiance was warm and inviting, with flickering candles on the tables and soft music playing in the background. After being seated, you both ordered and sipped on lemonade while discussing anything.

Terry leaned back in his chair, a playful smirk dancing on his lips. “So, you got any plans for when we take over the dance floor, huh?” he teased, his eyes glinting with mischief.

You chuckled softly, tilting your head. “Oh, don’t you worry about that, Mr. Smooth! I’m ready to turn this place out.” You twirled strands of hair around your finger, feeling the chemistry between you.

Terry raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Oh really now? Do you think you can keep up with me? I might spin you so fast you'll forget where you are!”

You laughed, biting your lip playfully as you met his gaze. “Honey, I was born ready! Just wait till I hit you with these hips. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

“Is that a challenge, baby girl?” Terry asked, feigning shock as he leaned closer. The scent of his cologne wrapped around you like a warm hug.

“Because if it is… well, I’m here for it.” His voice dipped low, drawing you in. The waiter arrived with your appetizers, but neither of you paid much attention.

Your eyes were locked in a playful duel. “You know I never back down from a challenge,” you replied boldly, lifting your glass in a mock salute before sipping the lemonade.

He watched every move you made with a smile that made your heart flutter. “And that’s exactly why I love ya,” he said softly, his tone turning more sincere.

It felt like old times, just the two of you in each other's company, the laughter ringing like music. After dinner, the music softened, and the atmosphere turned more romantic.

Terry stood, extending his hand to you. “Shall we?” With a smile, you took his hand as he led you to the dance floor, where the soft light danced around you like fireflies on a warm summer night.

As you swayed together, you felt the rhythm of the music seep into your bones. Terry pulled you closer, his hands resting gently on your lower back, confidently guiding you.

The world around you faded, and it was just him and you, lost in this moment. You could feel the warmth radiating from his body, his breath brushing against your ear as he whispered sweet nothings that made your heart swell.

“Look at you, movin’ like you own this floor,” Terry murmured, admiration dripping from his voice. “Ain’t nobody can do it like you can, sweetheart.”

You felt a rush of heat at his words, a giddy thrill igniting your chest. “Terry,” you replied, biting back a smile as you twirled under his arm, relishing how he effortlessly caught you again.

“You know how to make a girl feel special.” You said, resting your head against his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart sync with yours.

Terry chuckled lowly, tilting your chin up to meet your eyes. “Nah, baby girl, it’s all about you. Every move, every glance— I can’t help but be mesmerized,” he said earnestly.

“You’re my whole world.” His gaze held yours captive; it was intimate and raw, each word wrapping around your heart like a warm embrace.

“You know what you are doing!” You laughed lightly as your cheeks warmed under his adoration. “Maybe...but I'm just speaking the truth,” he whispers, kissing your lips.

The kiss was soft at first, a gentle brush that sent shivers down your spine. Time seemed to slow as you melted into him, the world around you fading.

You could taste the sweetness of the lemonade mingled with the warmth of his breath, an intoxicating blend that left you craving more.

As the music swelled, so did your passion. Terry deepened the kiss, his hands roaming from your waist to your ass, pulling you closer as if he wanted to erase any space between you.

“Baby,” Terry breathed against your lips, a teasing lilt in his voice. “You gotta know what kinda hold you got on me.”

You laughed softly, feeling emboldened by his affection. “Oh really? Is that right?” You leaned in closer, brushing your lips against his cheek, an invitation that promised more.

“Yeah...hey, I have something else special,” he replied with a playful smirk. His eyes sparkled as he twirled you again, then pulled you back into him, letting the music guide your movements.

“After this amazing dinner, what could you have else planned, Terry?" You asked as your bodies moved harmoniously, hips swaying together like they were made for this dance.

This moment where nothing else mattered. "You'll have to see, come on," he whispered, took your hand, leading you back to the table to settle the bill.

“You ready for this?” he asked, glancing at you with that glint in his eye that always made your heart skip. “Ready as I’ll ever be! Let’s go!” you answered, excitement bubbling over.

You stepped out into the cool night air, hand in hand. You two were in the car again and eventually made where you two were going. “Terry, where we goin’?” you asked, curiosity bubbling up like champagne, your heart racing as he pulled you along.

“Just trust me, baby,” he said over his shoulder, his smile mischievous and inviting. “I promise it’s somethin’ real special.”

You squeezed his hand, excitement surging through you as he navigated through the small villa. Every step was a tease; every turn held the potential for surprise.

Finally, he stopped in front of an ornate wooden door. He turned to you, letting go of your hand just long enough to pull out a small key from his pocket.

“Now, don't be peekin',” Terry said with a grin as he unlocked it. Your anticipation heightened as the door creaked open, revealing a cozy space bathed in warm golden light.

“Oh wow…” you breathed as you stepped inside, your heart leaping at the sight before you—a smaller villa impeccably decorated with rich crimson roses scattered across the bed and soft candlelight illuminating every corner.

“Surprise!” Terry announced proudly, closing the door behind you both. “I figured we needed a little time on this vacation just for us.” You spun around to face him, unable to contain your joy.

“Terry! This is, this is so beautiful and sweet! You really thought of everything!” You said softly, looking at him happily.

“Aww, you know I had to treat you right, baby. “Ain't nothin' but the best for my queen,” he said, his voice smooth like honey as he stepped closer, closing the space between you two.

You could feel the heat radiating off his body, sending shivers down your spine. “Terry, I love you,” you replied with a grin, your heart fluttering like a butterfly in spring.

Terry's eyes danced with mischief as he leaned down, brushing his lips against your ear. “Oh, baby, I love you too," Terry said, reaching for your waist.

Terry pulled you against him as his lips met yours with an urgent hunger. The kiss ignited a fire within you, deepening as he playfully nibbled on your bottom lip.

“Taste so sweet,” Terry murmured against your mouth before pulling away just enough to gaze intently into your eyes. His hands slid down to cup your ass, lifting you up slightly to the bed.

“I've been wanting you all night” Terry growled, his breath hot against your skin as he sat you on the bed. The soft sheets beckoned you both as he laid you down gently, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Look at you” Terry teased, a devilish grin playing on his lips as he traced a finger along your jawline. “Got all dressed up and ready for me; now it's time to rip that shit off.”

With that, he started peeling off your dress, bra, and panties like they were the layers of an onion, revealing every inch of your skin to him." fuck baby,” he said appreciatively, feasting his eyes on your body.

“You're so damn stunning.” His voice dropped low, sending shivers through you. “I could get lost in you.” He added. “Oh, Terry…” you breathed out, feeling the heat between you two intensify.

Terry leaned closer, his hands exploring every curve and dip of your body before trailing down to your thighs. “You smell good, too,” he murmured as he kissed down your neck, savoring the taste of your skin.

“I bet you taste even better.” You could feel the electricity crackling as he moved lower, his lips brushing against your stomach. “Gonna make you scream my name tonight,” he promised with a wicked glint in his eyes.

“Baby, don’t tease me like that,” you replied breathlessly, biting your lip in anticipation. His presence was intoxicating, and every moment felt like it was building to something spectacular.

“I ain’t teasin’; I’m just gettin' started,” Terry responded, his voice dripping with a sultry confidence that sent heat racing through your veins.

Terry grinned, eyes glinting as he knelt between your legs, his breath warm against your skin. “Now open up for me, mama,” he commanded softly, the authority in his tone making your heart race even faster.

“I wanna taste that sweet, wet pussy of yours the way you know I can.” He said sensual and you shivered at the intensity of his gaze, feeling wholly exposed yet utterly safe in his presence.

“Terry,” you gasped, your body arching instinctively toward him. Terry smirked as he spread your thighs wider, the anticipation hanging thick in the air.

With no warning, he dove in hungrily, lips wrapping around your most sensitive spot and sucking gently while his tongue flicked teasingly over you.

The sensation hit you like a tidal wave, sending shocks of pleasure coursing through every nerve ending. "Oh, shit! Terry," you moaned, gripping the sheets as waves of ecstasy washed over you.

“You taste so damn incredible,” Terry growled against you, the vibrations sending another jolt of pleasure through your core. “Like candy…I could spend all night down here.”

His tongue danced expertly, swirling and teasing as he took his time savoring every inch of you. “Don’t stop… Please don’t stop,” you begged, your voice breathy and filled with desperation.

You could feel it building inside you, a tight coil of pleasure that threatened to burst. “I’m close, baby! Just like that!” You cried out, the words tumbling from your lips as his mouth worked its magic.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Terry growled, deepening his rhythm as he added a finger, sliding it inside you just right. “C’mon, let me feel you.” He watched with satisfaction as your body responded to him, arching and writhing beneath his touch.

“Tell me how good it feels, sweetheart,” Terry demanded, his voice thick with desire. You could barely form words; each syllable was swallowed by the overwhelming waves of pleasure crashing over you.

“It feels… so fucking good, Terry!” you gasped out, your hand finding the back of his head, pulling him closer as if that could draw him deeper into you. “Don’t stop… I need to cum.”

“Then do it for me,” Terry urged, his tongue flicking faster against your sensitive bud while pumping his fingers in and out of you with expert precision. “Let me taste all that sweetness.”

And just like that, the coil inside you snapped. You cried out his name like a prayer, waves of ecstasy washing over you as your body quaked in pleasure.

“Oh ahhh fuck, Terry!” Your voice echoed in the room as you caved to the bliss. He lapped at every sweetness that flowed from you, savoring your release as if it were the finest delicacy.

“Damn, baby! You’re so beautiful when you cum,” Terry said, kissing along your inner thighs. You were panted, barely able to catch your breath.

“That was…” You couldn't get the words out; they were still coming down from your high. “I know, baby girl,” he said, winking at you as he got off the bed to take his clothes off.

Terry climbed back on top of the bed, his muscular arms flexing as he positioned himself between your legs. His eyes locked with yours as he pressed the tip of his big, throbbing dick against your wet pussy.

“Tell me what you want, sexy,” he purred in your ear, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. “Do you want Daddy to make love to his good girl or fuck her senseless?”

You looked into his eyes, the fire igniting a corresponding flame within you. “Fuck me, Daddy,” you growled, the words leaving a wake of desire in their path. “Fuck me 'til I can't walk straight.”

"You got it, baby," he said with a mischievous grin. Terry slammed his dick inside you, filling you to the hilt and setting every nerve ending ablaze.

"Damn, mmmm...you feel so amazing!" His breathing was labored and erratic as he pulled back out slowly before slamming back in even harder.

"Goddamn, yes, Terry! yes, Fuck me like you mean it!" Your words mixed with moans as he relentlessly pounded into you. "Harder, Terry! I want it harder!"

"No problem, babe," he grunted, picking up the pace. Sweat beading on both your brows as your bodies slapped together in carnal rhythm. “I’m gonna give it to you so good,” he said with a moan.

"I know you will, Terry," you moaned. "I know you gonna fuck me senseless."

"You better believe it," he growled, reaching around to roughly squeeze one of your plump breasts, tweaking the hard nipple between his fingers.

"You like that, huh? You like it when Daddy squeezes your tits while he fucks you?"

"Yes! Yes, Daddy, I love it!" you cried out, arching your back to meet him stroke for filthy stroke. "Squeeze them harder, make me cum again!"

Terry obliged, pinching and twisting your nipples as he continued to pound into you mercilessly. Your moans filled the room, bouncing off the walls in a symphony of lust and desire.

"Oh shit, baby, I'm close," Terry grunted, his breath coming in short pants. "I'm gonna…I'm gonna…"

"Cum inside me! Cum deep inside of me and show me how much you love me!" you screamed, your own orgasm building up once more.

"Damn, my nasty girl," Terry groaned before picking up the pace even more. “Your pussy is so fucking tight, sweetheart. Feels like heaven. fuck I love you.”

As if that were the final push needed, both of you came undone together. Terry roared out his release as he pumped hot thick ropes of cum deep inside you.

"Terry, Terry, Terry" you screamed, chanting his name at the top of your lungs as your body quaked with another mind-shattering orgasm.

Your bodies trembled together as the last waves of pleasure washed over you. Terry collapsed on top of you, his weight a comforting presence as you both struggled to catch your breath.

After a moment, he rolled to the side, pulling you into his arms. "That was…incredible," you panted, nuzzling into his chest. "You're incredible," Terry murmured, kissing your forehead tenderly.

His fingers traced lazy patterns on your back as your heartbeats slowly returned to normal. You lay there in comfortable silence, basking in the afterglow.

#Terry Richmond x Black Reader #terry richmond x reader #terry richmond smut #terry richmond x black!reader #terry richmond fic #terry richmond fanfiction #aaron pierre #aaron pierre x black reader #terry richmond #terry richmond x black fem reader #black!fem!reader #black fem reader #terry richmond x black! fem plus size reader #terry Richmond x plus size reader #terry richmond x fem reader #terry richmond fluff #rebel ridge #terry richmond angst

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callmemonster68 · 3 days ago

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JAKE - God of Death ( smut )

An immortal reaper who, upon falling in love with a soul destined to depart, discovers a new perspective on life and death. The presence of this special person illuminates his dark world and awakens a lust he never imagined feeling.

Pairing: Jake, a deity X FemReader

Genre: Obscenity

Warning: Contains explicit content, unprotected sex, suggestive, penetration, explicit language, climax, sex, swearing, loss of virginity, hickeys, messy make-out sessions, dirty talk, compliments, rough sex, touching bruises, handcuffs, chains, sadomasochism , masochism, brands

Note: I'm recently starting to write, and English is not my native language. I apologize for any mistakes and hope to improve my writing. Feedback is always welcome!

On a tranquil night, under the moonlight, a field stretches out in silence, where life and death subtly connect. It is in this setting that an unexpected encounter takes place between Y/N, a submissive mortal, and Jake, the God of Death. This moment transcends fear and uncertainty, intertwining curiosity and courage in an intense and provocative conversation about life, death, and the mysteries that await us beyond.

It is an irresistible invitation to explore the deepest desires and hidden passions, as they surrender to the pleasures of what it truly means to live and love. Every whispered word becomes a touch, every glance an invitation to dive into the depths of pleasure and connection, revealing the secrets that make us shiver and draw us closer to ecstasy.

Jake: "You know you were destined to meet me, don’t you?"

Y/N: "Perhaps. But I’m not afraid of you. Death is just a part of life."

Jake (moving closer): "You’re different. Most fear what I represent. But you… you bring a light I’ve never known."

Y/N: "And you bring a mystery that fascinates me. What happens if I don’t leave?"

Jake: "Then, perhaps I can show you what it means to live intensely, even with death always lurking, like a forbidden desire."

Y/N: "What if I want to feel that intensity with you? Right now, while I still have time, to lose ourselves in one another."

Jake: "Then let’s savor every moment, every touch, every breath. Life is precious, even if brief, and I want you to feel that by my side."

Y/N: "Then, teach me to live, God of Death."

Jake: "What if I showed you that death isn’t the end, but merely a new form of existence?"

Y/N: "Do as you will; I am in your hands, God of Death."

The words carried such force and intensity that the atmosphere grew heavy. Y/N felt insecure yet drawn to the enigmatic God of Death. Her eyes were enslaved by the beauty and power he exuded. Without further hesitation, Jake also felt a connection with the mortal, and he couldn’t resist his overwhelming desire to satisfy himself with her.

In the dimly lit room, Jake and Y/N faced each other. Jake’s heart raced as he watched Y/N’s body tremble with anticipation. This was the moment he had been waiting for.

Jake: "Let’s begin, Y/N."

Y/N’s eyes widened. She knew what was coming. Jake gestured for her to kneel before him, and she obeyed, lowering herself to the floor. Jake’s hand traced the length of Y/N’s body, stopping at her waist. He lifted her and guided her to the bed.

Jake: "Take off your clothes."

Y/N undressed, revealing her flawless figure. Jake’s eyes widened as he admired her beauty.

Jake: "Lie down on the bed."

Y/N lay on the bed, her body exposed to Jake’s gaze. She closed her eyes, preparing herself for what was to come.

Jake stood beside her, his eyes fixed on Y/N’s. He smiled, savoring her submission. Y/N opened her eyes, meeting Jake’s gaze.

Jake: "I want you to remember every detail of this moment."

Y/N nodded, her heart racing. Jake picked up a whip from beside the bed, and Y/N shuddered with anticipation. Jake caressed Y/N’s body, running the whip over her skin. He watched as Y/N’s body writhed with pleasure.

Jake began to whip her, the sound echoing through the room. Y/N’s body twisted, and she let out a series of moans.

Jake: "You’re mine, Y/N! You’re my submissive, and you will do everything I say."

Y/N’s eyes widened in ecstasy. She felt herself being carried away by the intensity of the moment. After minutes of being whipped and praised by Jake, Y/N, unable to wait any longer, begged.

Y/N: "Please, I beg you, I need to feel you inside me."

Jake: "How adorable, so desperate for my cock. How could I say no to someone as eager as you?"

Without waiting for an answer, Jake set the whip aside and grabbed handcuffs from the drawer beside the bed. He secured Y/N’s hands behind her and positioned her on all fours.

A sharp smack and a surprised cry of pain escaped Y/N. Another smack, and the obscene sounds of Y/N’s mix of pain and pleasure echoed in the room. Without warning, Jake thrust his large, thick cock into Y/N’s wet pussy, eliciting a scream. The blend of sensations—pain and burning mixed with overwhelming pleasure—left her increasingly mindless.

Jake’s movements grew more violent, and Y/N’s moans became more intense. She felt herself being pushed to the edge of pleasure and pain, and she loved every moment of it.

With teary eyes, Y/N reached her orgasm. With a few more careless thrusts, Jake finally climaxed. Y/N felt overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. Her tears streaked her face as Jake’s body trembled with pleasure.

Y/N lay on the bed, panting and exhausted, while Jake’s hand reached out to caress her face and body. She felt a wave of satisfaction and contentment washing over her.

Jake smiled, watching Y/N’s body relax in a state of bliss. He took her hand and kissed it, savoring the moment.

Jake: "You’re mine, Y/N. And nothing can change that, not even death."

Y/N smiled, her heart filled with a sense of love and devotion. She knew she had been completely consumed by Jake’s desires, and she loved every moment of it.

It wasn’t long before Y/N fell into a deep sleep from exhaustion. Jake watched her. His mission had been simple: find and reap her life. What had happened inside him to lead to this moment was a mystery to him. But he would do whatever it took to keep Y/N by his side after her death—his perfect doll, his vessel of lust, his sole obsession.

This story is part of the universe of ' Divine Sins: Immortal Fantasies with ENHYPEN ' created by me.Description:Seven sensual and mysterious tales that delve into the desires between mortals and immortals. Inspired by the members of ENHYPEN, these stories reimagine the group as powerful gods and a fallen angel, all wickedly alluring and irresistibly seductive. Each narrative immerses readers in a world of fantasy, unveiling forbidden passions, divine secrets, and the overwhelming intensity that sparks between celestial beings and an ordinary human. A universe brimming with lust, mystery, and the captivating allure of the forbidden, where every story is an invitation to desire. Contains mature content.

✿ If you don't reblog and comment, you can be sure I'll be showing up in your dreams tonight... and I won’t be as sweet as in the story ✿

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causticsodaa · 1 day ago

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What I personally think is behind Suo’s eyepatch: A Delusional Theory

The title explains itself (heed the disclaimer please), so I’ll get straight to the point.

Firstly, I believe that Suo is blind in his right eye.

Typically, eyepatches are mainly worn by people who

Are recovering from surgery

Cosplay

Have eye trauma or are half-blind

The first point is immediately negated, since it’s confirmed that Suo has been wearing an eyepatch on his right eye since middle school at the earliest. I doubt that even the most extensive eye surgeries would need him to be wearing one for years on end. Most eyepatches are made out of adhesive material, whilst Suo’s is made out of leather. I won’t dwell on this point much since I don’t think this outcome is very likely, but I just wanted to bring it up anyways (lol).

The second point could be plausible, considering that Suo voluntarily draws attention to his eyepatch in his introduction, even stating that there is “an ancient Chinese spirit sealed” in it—there’s a story behind it.

However, Nirei’s question immediately disproves this. Nii Satoru is a very deliberate writer; I don’t think there would be any reason to include Nirei’s dialogue about a ‘past accident’ (more on this later) if it wasn’t meant to serve as foreshadowing or at least be somewhat true.

Theres also the fact that Suo directly agrees with Nirei’s claim, though his wording is very vague (ie. it’s what other people say rather than Suo himself confirming it).

I believe this scene is mainly meant to showcase Suo’s goofy side (backed by Nirei’s comment about expecting Suo to be more cold/aloof and with Suo introducing himself as Leonardo di Caprio); but I also assume that he decided to make up a story about his eye because he’s been questioned about it many times in the past. It’s obviously not true, but I don’t think that Suo would voluntarily wear an eyepatch for years on end just to look cool (not to mention the depth perception issues!).

It’s also important to note that Nirei’s information is scarily accurate as well. He even figured out that Suo hated natto despite how secretive the latter is, but I digress.

This leads me to the third point, which is what most of the fandom (myself included) speculates. However, I’ll be focusing more on the prospect of Suo being half-blind.

If Suo is blind in his white eye, he would have a white iris. Although many blind characters in anime/animation have their eyes closed or just lack pupils, some do have white/clear/sheen irises:

Additionally, some people who are blind do have ‘milky’ eyes in real life!

Even other animanga characters who wear eyepatches have some sort of eye trauma (if they aren’t pirates/concealing some power/forced to give their eyeball up for a contract, though WBK isn’t that kind of story) such as Hange Zoë and Asuka Langely Soryu.

Personally, I believe that Suo had injured his right eye in the past to the point of blindness, given with the evidence presented before. I can’t really provide any theories as to how this happened due to a lack of canon evidence, but it’s probably linked to why he tells Nirei to never close his eyes. It’s highly probable his right eye is linked to a traumatic incident of his past—though anything further related to Suo’s backstory prompts an entirely different conversation.

Theres also a possibility that Suo might have been born half blind as well, and uses his eyepatch to protect/cover it; though it’s merely speculation on my part (and I’ll talk about this theory more in a bit).

You’ve probably noticed that I’m drawing a lot of attention to the color of Suo’s right eye, rather the cause of his blind eye. This is where my theory gets delusional.

Let me bring in our beloved protagonist of Wind Breaker; Sakura Haruka!

Wait, isn’t this a theory about Suo? What does Sakura have to do with Suo’s eye?

Although Sakura and Suo do have their stark differences, they’re also eerily similar (and this criteria applies to Suo + Nirei and Sakura + Nirei as well). The most prominent thing they have in common [design wise] are their ‘abnormal’ eyes (with Sakura having heterochromia, and Suo with only one eye visible), and how they’re somehow linked to some sort of past trauma. I (albeit briefly) went over how Suo’s right eye connects with a potentially traumatic incident earlier, so I’ll be focusing on Sakura in the meantime.

In the beginning of the anime, we see snippets of dialogue by people from Sakura’s past, which mainly consisted of a barrage of criticism and rude remarks towards him. This line in particular stands out to me:

Japanese society is very conformative both in real life and what we see in Sakura’s memories—being unique or looking different from the norm is 🆖. We see different people in the series poke fun at Sakura’s hair, but I feel like this comment hurts the most. You can’t exactly change your eye color easily without contacts, unlike hair in which you can style/dye it as you please (though I’m not trying to justify the mistreatment Sakura has experienced by comparing apples and oranges; simply put, it’s incredibly vile).

Because of the above, Sakura has been consistently ostracized in the past mainly due to his ‘weird’ appearance. This causes him to internalize those sentiments for years on end before coming to Furin. He then begins to project his insecurities externally throughout the manga whether it relates to his leadership skills or how he interacts with the other students (initially questioning why people can accept him given his ‘strange’ appearance and mannerisms). There’s also this:

Sakura used to cover his hair and eyes with hats/sunglasses, however it failed to work as people still avoided him. This is even shown in the anime!

Poor kid took all those comments to heart and internalized it to the point it essentially crippled his self-esteem—but who wouldn’t, honestly? Being constantly alienated and perceived as ‘disgusting’ by others causes a sense of distrust to a person, especially during their developmental stages (as Sakura experienced most of this as a child/teen), hence why I’m classifying this as traumatic for Sakura. Even though he’s in a better place now, the ghosts of his past still haunt and affect him to this day.

Since Suo + Sakura are written to foil/parallel each other at times, there is a chance that Suo might have also covered his eye for a similar reason to Sakura’s: he doesn’t want other people to know he is blind (either to not be perceived as weak, or Suo was ashamed of for a different reason—perhaps other people thought his blind eye was scary?). Maybe Suo was born with a blind eye, much like how Sakura was born with a “half and half” appearance.

As I’ve mentioned before, Sakura has heterochromia (wow no shit Sherlock); his left eye is yellow, while his right is black[ish-grey] (his eye is sometimes colored a light grey/blue but thats usually a stylistic choice)

Both Sakura and Suo’s character colors are based off their left eyes: Sakura’s being an amber and Suo’s being red (rather than mainly sappanwood but its a shade of red anyways—and Suo is usually represented with a bold red in other official/merch art so shhhh)

And if we were to follow my theory, Suo would hypothetically have a milky colored right eye and a red iris for his left as in canon. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Both Sakura and Suo would have their character color as their right eye (amber and red respectively), while their left eyes (black and white) would contrast each other. Black and white are considered opposites, after all.

If my (delulu) theory holds true, this could perfectly showcase Suo and Sakura’s differences and similarities—but instead of it being almost hidden through the layers of their unspoken relationship, they are physically represented through their character designs.

Okay, I know you’re probably thinking that this theory is too far fetched (hell, even I think the same). But hear me out:

There is another duo in Wind Breaker who have character designs that contrast each other: Togame and Choji!

Nii Satoru makes it a point to emphasize how different these two are—and it’s no secret given their designs: Togame is tall, beefier, and has straight dark hair while Choji is short, lankier, with light and curlier hair. Even their eyes contrast each other; Togame’s are thin, slanted, and green while Choji’s are wide, round and red[dish brown]. (I KNOW THAT HIS EYES ARE MORE BROWN IN THE ANIME BUT THEYRE COLORED RED SOMETIMES BY NIISATO PLEASE TRUST ME ON THIS)

Honestly, this entire section makes me want analyze Choji and Togame (must… control… my demons…), so I’ll just move on to my next point.

Additionally, Sakura is sometimes drawn with his hair slicked back, which makes him look eerily similar to Umemiya…

I believe this is entirely intentional by Nii-sensei, but if I speak any more I fear that I will start rambling about Umemiya/Sakura parallels like a madman. My point is, two characters with similar/contrasting designs do already exist in WBK.

And in the case of Suo and Sakura, these two elements could possibly coexist in their character designs via their ‘irregular’ eyes.

TLDR; Suo and Sakura are the only characters in the cast with messed up eyes -> If Suo’s blind in his right eye, it would be white -> which would contrast Sakura’s black iris thats also in his right eye -> this shows their differences -> but also reinforces the fact that they are similar since their left eyes are red and amber -> which are their character colors -> I am severely delusional -> and I need to be euthanized immediately

#wind breaker #wind breaker manga #wbk #wbk theories #wbk analysis #suo hayato #hayato suo #sakura haruka #haruka sakura

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oceanwithouthermoon · 17 hours ago

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ive seen you say terusai is implied a lot but i dont remember ever seeing you explain why you think that

yeah now that you say it, i dont think ive ever gone into depth about it 😭 its really hard to put my thoughts into words because its sooo much, i started writing a long analysis recently on their relationship, why i believe they have feelings for each other, and why they would work but itll probably sit unfinished in my drafts for a while

for now, i'll give you a few of my most noteworthy thoughts...

the mixer scene has teruhashi unknowingly proving to saiki that her feelings are true, and he accepts that and stops trying to get her to stop pursuing him. i dont believe he ever actually makes any REAL effort to try to stop her from liking him ever again after this. he genuinely hadnt acknowledged her feelings as true or at least not as deep yet, which is why he thinks hes succeeding at getting her to move on until she proves that not only is she still thinking of him, but shes NOT thinking of a fake version of him... shes thinking of HIM... she genuinely enjoys his company even when hes doing nothing but sitting there (which is factually and obviously what he wouldve been doing in this situation, people deny that for some odd reason but like. thats what he does. with ANYONE. even his own family and everyone else who knows of his powers.) and wants him around... i think some part of him stopped because he felt guilty for not believing her feelings were true and trying to control her heart despite her genuine intentions, and another part of him was realizing that he doesnt WANT her to stop having feelings for him... otherwise, why would he drag the other guys away WHILE acknowledging that she wouldnt have gone with them anyway??? after inserting himself into a rock paper scissors game for who gets to be the one to be with her???? HELLO?

and the offu, although i dont believe it was a direct declaration of him being in love with her or whatever, has obvious canon romantic connotations... teruhashis determination is something saiki has admired about her since the very beginning, but it isnt until THIS moment that he thinks in depth about what that entails... she makes him realize all at once that she truly IS the type of person he admires most... and his "offu" is exactly what teruhashi needs, she would have a straight up epiphany if she knew about it, because he DIDNT gasp at how beautiful she is, or anything she forced herself to do, or when she forced herself to CHANGE, he ONLY gasped when she let herself embrace a part of herself that was REAL and TRUE, her unwavering dedication and pride.

THIS chapter is where they both have huge realizations about themselves and each other, and they both prove that theyre more than willing to meet in the middle for the other...

saiki lives his life forcing himself to blend into the background, not because he genuinely wants to but because hes afraid to be SEEN.

teruhashi lives her life forcing herself to be perfect and the center of attention, not because she genuinely enjoys it but because she believes she wont get the validation she feels she needs if she doesnt give everyone exactly what they want from her.

and yet, here saiki is, allowing himself to jump into the spotlight and be seen catching teruhashi out of nowhere and carrying her to the nurse. and here teruhashi is, allowing herself to be seen being imperfect, forgetting something, and not caring about her conversation with these men. FOR EACH OTHER. they both let themselves break down a wall because they care more about the other than about the fake selves they dedicate their entire lives to, THEIR GENUINE CARE FOR EACH OTHER GIVES THEM THE COURAGE TO DO THAT.

and this is probably the number one reason why i think their feelings for each other are implied... this alternate timeline is quite clearly one where saiki is more open with his friends, and he and teruhashi ARE DATING in this universe. theres absolutely no other explanation for the author writing that. he spelled out "IF SAIKI WERE MORE OPEN WITH HIS FRIENDS, HE WOULD BE DATING TERUHASHI"

the saiki of that timeline isnt exactly the same as the saiki we know of course, and their relationship will not develop in the same way, but theres clearly intention behind this and it wouldnt be written and called attention to if there was no significance, youd have to jump through hoops to deny that 😭

overall, i think they both have a lot of work to do on themselves before they can be in a relationship, but not only do i believe they WILL eventually get there but also that they both need each other on their personal journey to get to that point, or at least that they are and will continue to be important in the others journey there, and their romantic feelings for each other are so clear... these two are so important to one another...

#:33 #thanks for the opportunity to spread my terusai agenda #also thank u guys for actually sending me asks i was gonna be kinda embarrassed if no one did after that post LOLLLL #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #teruhashi kokomi #terusai #saiteru #meows post #meownalysis

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thatsmzbitchtoyou · 1 day ago

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Sugar & Spicy Books Chapter 3

Summary: Y/N is an accomplished writer who is newly divorced, and out of fear of the unknown, moves back to her small hometown she swore she’d never come back to. She comes across her best friend that never left, who helps her out of a tough spot. Will old feelings arise? Or is she just too big for such a small place now?

Warnings: language, smut

Previous chapter Next chapter

Y/N got into a routine with Bucky and Autumn. On the days she picked up Autumn from school she would take her out and about to grocery shop on Mondays, accompany her to softball practice on Wednesdays, and every Friday was take out night. She loved spending time with Autumn, and could see childhood Bucky in her whenever they would play, or in the way she smiled or laughed. She also got to spend a lot of time with Winnie, which she was grateful for. People around town recognized Y/N from way back when or from her books and would try to talk to her sometimes, but she always politely brushed them off whenever she was with Autumn, not wanting to be a spectacle. Every night after they all got home, had dinner, and Autumn went to bed she and Bucky would talk for way too long, catching up and having in-depth, intellectual conversations that she missed. She could feel that crush coming on full force as their friendship picked up right where it left off all those years ago.

Two weeks later they all came home one Friday with Bucky acting extra excited. “Alright, Autumn! You’re having a sleepover weekend at Grandma’s!” he announced.

“Yay!” Autumn cheered, running up to her room to gather a bag of her things.

“And you and I,” he said quietly, pointing at Y/N, “are going out.”

“Out?” Y/N smiled. “Out where?”

“Boston,” he smirked.

“Boston?” Y/N scoffed. “What the hell for?”

“To celebrate,” Bucky said. “Go change into something nice but warm. And pack an overnight bag.”

Y/N watched him walk up the stairs with wide eyes. She quickly followed, changing into one of the nicer dresses she still owned, fixing up her hair and makeup and wearing sensible shoes, just in case. She grabbed her fluffiest cardigan and a larger purse to carry her overnight things. When she went back downstairs Autumn was jumping in place, holding her own bag and pillow as Bucky was fixing his hair in the mirror in the entryway.

“Daddy let’s go!” Autumn whined, then turned to Y/N and gasped dramatically. “Y/N you look beautiful!”

Y/N smiled at her. “Aw, thanks lovey,” she said, looking down at herself. She looked up again at Bucky who was more dressed up than she had seen him since she came to town, looking dapper and cleaned up. She whistled at him. “Wow, Barnes, you really know how to clean up,” she smirked at him.

Bucky blushed at her compliment. “Says the woman who came down looking like that,” he gestured to her. “Looking good, Y/L/N.”

She hid her blush behind a laugh and reached out to squeeze his arm. Autumn pulled on the sleeve of her cardigan and she quickly placated her. “Alright, alright, let’s go.”

After dropping Autumn off the ride to Boston was two hours. She and Bucky talked the whole way, reminiscing on old times and crazy things from their childhoods. Bucky pulled up to a small hotel downtown, checked them in and dropped off their overnight things, then ordered an Uber. The driver pulled up to The Bell in Hand Tavern. “Oh Jesus, I remember this,” Y/N giggled. “When Sam got us fake IDs and we drank way too much. I had to haul your ass down the street before the cops came. You were trying to kiss me the whole way.”

“I remember everything up until that point,” Bucky laughed. “Then Steve drove us all the way home but missed the turn off and took us to Sugarbrush Farm.”

“Where you bathed in the smallest vat of maple syrup I’ve ever seen,” Y/N laughed as he helped her out of the car. “You were sticky for weeks…Sugar.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and wound an arm around her shoulders. He dipped his head down to her ear. “You think you’re teasing me, but I like it when you call me Sugar,” he said.

“Oh really?” Y/N scoffed, looking at him. Bucky arched an eyebrow at her as he steered her to the main front bar and flagged down the bartender. “Hi, I’ll have a Jameson Black Barrel. And she’ll have a,” he eyed her, “Nantucket Lemonade?”

“Ugh, yes,” Y/N moaned, her eyes rolling back. “I haven’t had that in ages.”

Bucky’s eyes widened at her expression but he quickly looked back at the bartender. “That’ll be it,” he nodded.

When their drinks were ready he took her over to a small table by the window and they sat. “So, what are we celebrating?” Y/N asked.

Bucky held up his glass. “Cheers to your divorce.”

Y/N laughed loudly and clinked her glass against his. “Cheers!” she said, drinking the cocktail. “Fuck that’s good.”

They ate and drank the night away, laughing and talking too loud as they got more tipsy. They didn’t notice people leaving until the bartender yelled out, “Last call!”

“Oh shit,” Bucky giggled and took out his phone. “We gotta go, honey.”

“Aw,” Y/N whined. “But I’m hungry!”

“We’ll find something to eat on the way back,” he smiled as he stood and helped her get up. She leaned on him heavily as he paid the tab and then ordered another Uber.

“How are you still standing and I’m struggling?” Y/N asked, gripping his arm tight.

“‘Cause I had two whiskeys and drank water, and you had…four cocktails?” Bucky chuckled.

“Ugh,” Y/N groaned as he helped her into the Uber. They convinced the Uber driver to stop by a fast food place to grab food before going to the hotel, inhaling the burgers and fries while they stumbled in and eventually found their room.

Bucky fumbled with the key card, dropping it twice while Y/N fought back fits of giggles. When he finally opened the door they both fell inside, laughing maniacally as they sprawled out on the floor and the door shut loudly. “Ssshhh!!” Bucky shushed her, bringing a finger to her lips. “It’s late!”

Y/N playfully nipped at his finger, making him gasp. “Gotcha,” she teased, before rolling over and crawling toward the bed. Bucky crawled after her, and as she started to climb the bed he slapped her ass. “Buck!” Y/N gasped, looking back at him.

“What? It’s not my fault you have a great ass,” Bucky smirked.

“Oh no, are you gonna try to have your way with me like last time?” Y/N laughed, lifting herself up onto the bed and laying flat on it.

“How dare you! I would never take advantage of such a refined lady!” he said in a horrible British accent. He flopped onto the bed next to her. “Though I can assure you…you’d love it,” he winked.

“So sure of yourself,” Y/N giggled. Her head was feeling fuzzy, the filter fully gone as she turned to face him. He leaned on his elbows, making it so he was slightly hovering above her at the angle she put herself in. Y/N stared at him for a moment before her hand reached up and her finger traced his lips. “You’re a good kisser, did you know that?” she asked.

“What?” Bucky scoffed.

“The night before I left,” Y/N frowned. “You kissed me, remember?”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded, blinking rapidly.

Her thumb ran along his bottom lip, slightly pulling it down before she dropped her hand between them. “Softest, prettiest lips,” she whispered, then closed her eyes. “Felt like my heart was…flying that night,” she breathed.

“Really?” Bucky’s voice sounded closer.

“Mhm,” Y/N nodded, her eyes still closed. “Been dreaming about it ever since.”

She felt Bucky’s nose nuzzle her nose, his breath fanning her cheek. “I liked kissing you,” he breathed.

Y/N opened her eyes, looking up to see him staring at her with a soft look in his eyes. “Really?” she asked.

“Been dreaming about it ever since,” he repeated her words with a smirk.

Y/N sobered up as she processed his words and the position they were in, this moment that hung precariously in the balance between friendship and something more. She had the sudden realization that she had loved this man since she was a child, but it had just never been their time. He had only entered her life again recently, and as different and separate as their lives had been, it was like no time had passed at all. She wanted this. This life, with him and Autumn, in the town that she had initially run away from.

Bucky slowly leaned down, his gaze flickering to her lips. “Can I…can I kiss you, honey?” he whispered, his lips ghosting over hers.

“Yes,” Y/N whispered.

He smiled, then kissed her. Y/N sighed into the kiss, her entire body relaxing into the bed. It was like all the stress, tension, uncertainty, how lost she felt and how big the world felt, it all disappeared and tunnel visioned into this moment. All that mattered was that it was Bucky and he was kissing her…and it was perfect.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, her hand holding the back of his head to keep him close, scratching into his hair. Bucky moaned at the scratch, pulling his body to completely hover over hers, his hips nestled between her legs. Y/N got lost in his kisses, the euphoria of feeling his lips, his tongue, his teeth, his hands caressing her everywhere, his heaviness on top of her. She didn’t realize when they’d gotten naked, but suddenly they were and she felt him everywhere she could reach. The planes of muscles built up over time, the tuft of chest hair, his calloused fingers, and the pure pleasure at his cock rubbing between her lower lips.

Bucky kissed down her neck, her chest, giving plenty of attention and care to her breasts, then down her stomach to her core. He lifted her legs over his shoulders, gripping her thighs as he kissed over her clit, making her gasp and buck her hips, Bucky forcing her to stay put. He made out with her pussy, kissing and licking it like it was the most delicious dessert he’d ever had. Y/N’s head wrenched back as he sucked at her clit, then flicked it repeatedly with the tip of his tongue. She was cumming in seconds, squirming in his hold as she whimpered above him. Bucky licked and drank all she gave him. When he helped her through the aftershocks of her orgasm he slowly pulled himself up and crawled back up to kiss her, his mouth and chin shining with her slick. “And you call me Sugar,” he smiled as he bent down and kissed her again.

Y/N moaned at the taste of herself on his lips, her fingers scratching down his back. “Buck please,” she breathed.

Bucky nodded as his hand gripped his cock and slid it through her pussy again. “I’ll take care of you, honey,” he said. He aimed himself and started pushing forward. Y/N slightly winced at the stretch, her hands gripping his biceps as he thrust into her. When his hips were flush with hers he let out a grunt, his head leaning on her shoulder. “Fuck, Y/N…you feel so fucking good. Jesus,” he kissed her collarbone.

“You’re amazing,” she replied. “Please fuck me, Sugar. Fuck me. I can take it.”

Bucky huffed a laugh against her skin. “I’m sure you could, honey. And as much as I’d love to fuck you, right now I just wanna make love to you.” He lifted his head to look at her. “I just wanna feel you, nice and slow. Is that okay?” he pleaded. “I’ve wanted you for years, Y/N. I’ve loved you for so long.”

Y/N could feel tears start to build in her eyes. “I love you, Bucky,” she sniffled, cupping his face in her hands. “I’ve always loved you.”

Bucky smiled wide then kissed her. He started thrusting slowly, pulling keens and groans from her throat. His cock felt perfect, like it was meant to be in her. As much as she and Raf had had a mostly fulfilling sex life, it had never felt like this was him. Bucky’s hips rolled and thrust randomly, the switch up making her eyes roll back every time. He dug a hand under her neck, gripping her by the back of the head and the nape of the hair on her neck, forcing her head certain ways as he kissed her repeatedly. He would nip at her jaw and her earlobe, before kissing his way back to her mouth, where the kisses would change from sweet, soft pecks to demanding, sloppy, and passionate. She felt lightheaded at how he played her body like an instrument only he knew.

Her pussy fluttered around him, making him shudder above her, pulling away from another kiss as he gasped. “Damn, you gonna cum for me, honey? Cum all over my cock, huh?” Y/N nodded like she was still drunk. Bucky’s hips picked up the pace, his cock dragging in and out of her exquisitely. He suddenly hauled himself up and held her against him so she was sitting in his lap, her arms and legs wrapped around him as he changed the angle and started thrusting up into her even deeper. Y/N squealed, her nails digging into his back. “You feel how deep I am, Y/N? God, you’re perfect. Most perfect pussy. Better than I could have ever dreamed.” He kissed her deeply again, his hand still holding her by the back of the neck and his other hand splayed on her back, holding her where he wanted her. When he broke the kiss he leaned his forehead against her forehead and stared in her eyes. “You’re my perfect dream, you know that? Goddamn, I love you.”

“And you’re mine,” Y/N said, her breaths huffing against his face. “Love you…love you, Sugar, Bucky, love you.” She rattled on, feeling the build up in her belly. “Mine,” she groaned.

“Yours,” Bucky nodded, his hand at her neck sliding down to her clit and flicking it with his thumb fast. “Mine,” he nearly growled.

Y/N stiffened in his arms and came hard, shaking as it felt like lightning shooting through her veins and she cried out his name. He buckled at how her pussy gripped his cock, falling back onto the bed with her, his hips rolling into her as he shuddered again and whimpered loudly in her ear as he came. They held each other tightly as they calmed down, hot breaths fanning each other’s skin. Bucky lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her. His gaze made her heart leap with how soft and wondrous he looked. “Did you mean it?” he asked quietly.

“What?” Y/N frowned.

“That you love me,” Bucky said, tracing her face with his fingers.

She smiled. “I do. I love you, Sugar. I’ve loved you since we were kids. I wish I would have realized it sooner.”

Bucky smiled. “Been dreaming about me ever since?”

Y/N laughed and smacked his shoulder. “Yes, you little shit.”

Bucky chuckled, but his eyes looked mischievous. “Did you think of me when you were fucking your husband?”

Y/N scoffed incredulously. “Okay, first of all, ex-husband, and secondly, you cheeky bastard!”

“Answer the question, honey,” Bucky said, dipping his head back down into the crook of her neck, nipping at her skin. His hold on her tightened again, and his hips rocked into her, pulling a gasp from her lips at how he was getting hard inside her again.

“Sometimes,” she replied breathily.

He hummed in her ear. “I’m gonna take real good care of you, honey. All that sexy stuff in your books? God, you got me feeling horny for years from your stories. Now I’m gonna take my time and show you what it can really be like. You want to show me how well you can take it now?”

Y/N groaned. “Holy shit…yes!” she cried out.

Bucky chuckled darkly. “Good girl…”

#marvel #bucky barnes #smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #series fanfic #chapter 3 #spicy books

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sunk1ra · 24 hours ago

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Just as Beautiful as I Remembered on AO3 - a jayvik fic

Jayce has just crawled out of the depths of hell, with one thing on his mind: Viktor. Featuring the conversation that takes place when Jayce finds Viktor at the Commune to kill him.

“Mortality, huh? What about humanity? Have any of that?”

Jayce says, his eyes narrowing. He knows he’s being irrational. He knows Viktor isn’t inherently evil. But he’s terrified of the destruction the Hexcore can do. He knows it will ruin everything. And he knows Viktor will be the one to start that cascade.

“You were the last of my humanity, Jayce,” Viktor says, his tone cold but filled with unspoken emotion as looked straight into Jayce's eyes.

At that, Jayce does flinch. Damn it, that cut deeper than he would have liked. He wanted to bite back with something cutting, but he knew that would be cruel. But he’s just so tired. And so angry.

“Ironic, considering I was the one who took it away from you.” He says, bitterness in his tone.

Just as Beautiful as I Remembered

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paimonial-rage · 2 months ago

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Omg hi! How are you? Sorry for taking a while to write the fic I promised you. I struggled to figure out which word, the character, and the setting. I'm almost finished! Will be done in the following days, so there are no more delays! -Yuri

Aww, don't worry about it! Even though I am looking forward to it, I am in no rush. Honestly I'm having trouble with writing right now, so I totally get it.

#interactions #i also got this dumb idea to make a text game conversation/character study #sorta choose your own adventure shindig #except not really #more like choose your outcome based on one conversation #but what i want is it to be an in depth conversation #a unique response for every answer given #idk if i actually want to do it tho bc it looks like it's turning into a hell of a lot of work #and the best part is that it'd be for a character barely anybody is interested in HAHA #i don't write for the attention but it is disappointing when you put a lot of pain and agony into something only for it not to do well #regardless #that's not even mentioning the chiori fic i need to write HAHA #I'M SORRY CHIORI ANON #i got like 500 words into a fic only to discover that i absolutely hate it!#basic ass vibes #your fic is taking longer than i'd like i'm sorry #anyway honestly i am up to a bunch of no good nonsense right now and am not getting anything done #someone take me out of my misery

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captainfairygodmother · 5 months ago

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You know what I really love that should be explored in even more Merlin fanfics?

Immortal Leon. Like, you've just got Merlin over there sulking about while he waits for Arthur to return. Then there's just Leon, living his best immortal life, doing the most randomest shit known to mankind

#bonus points if merlin and leon are like fully bonded over the fact that they are the only two people left from their time #i want in depth nostalgic conversations between them over the return of arthur... while cooking some food in an airfryer or something #or EVEN BETTER- leon has learned a bunch of skills over the years and while merlin sticks to himself you have leon having famous careers #like they meet up for their like annual get together or whatever and then leon's just like #“oh yeah i got bored of being a world renowned painter so now i'm just going to go and write some socially critical novel”#basically what i'm saying is i want a fic where arthur comes back and merlin is frantically rushing around and he calls up leon #and leon answers like “hey merlin so glad to hear from you but can this call wait i'm about to perform at my world tour concert”#bbc merlin #immortal leon #sir leon #merlin #arthur pendragon

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what-even-is-sleep · 7 months ago

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thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such

#yes I’m making all these posts in a row #it’s bc I’m obsessed atm #mypost #Bodkin #bodkin netflix #PLEASSEEEEE #WHY DID THE PAPER MACHE HEAD LOOK LIKE GILBERT #CAN WE HAVE AN IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION ABOUT EVERYTHING ABOUT GILBERT BEING FORCED TO SWALLOW/CHOKE ON HIS WORDS (recorder) BUT THAT SOUND—HIS #STORY (HIS pov. however ‘abstract’ and detatched from consequence it may have been) BEING WHAT CATCHES EMMY AND DOVEs ATTENTION TO SAVE HIM #. LIKE #OUGHHHHHWJEHQIHSJSBWJXNAJSNNQJZNWHXJWHXJEBXNDUSBJS #AND THE WOLF IMAGERY PLS SOMEONE TELL ME ABOUT THAT #IS THERE MORE THAN THE SURFACE? what do I not understand? as im writing this out am thinking: ok its cause dove is a lone wolf #WAITTTT WAIT OMFG AND when she remembers that her mom told her to howl when she was lost… bc wolves actually have family and I’m p sure the #lone wolf thing is a myth… after she realizes that she’s not alone and she can choose to interact #GOD GRAHHHHH IM GOING CRAZY OVER THIS SHOW #other things I’m thinking abt (will maybe make a post abt?)#OUGH YEAH OK dove symbolism: wolf/lone wolf. sunglasses/shielding herself (OUGH AND SHE PICKS UP THAT XTRA LAYER OF DEFENCE WHEN SHE COMES #BACK TO HOMELAND/familiar space… bc she’s vulnerable to her past here…. hrahhh #. also LMFAO when she calls the sheriff a piggy #hrmmmmm aughhh I want to dissect Gilbert and Seamus’s friendship oughhh #ok wait even more on Dove: I want to dig into when she calls Emmy Emmy vs Sizargd (will have to look up the spelling whoops) —was it always #blatant manipulation? how much of it is a reflection of what she is? hrmmmm there’s so much there I think #another Q: why did Emmy call the tech guy Shitpants again at the end? ik there were the stakes I just wanna dig into her character more. why #would she say the shitpants thing instead of manipulating him in other ways? (not saying her was was unreasonable at all lol-j wanna dig #into her character.#OH prob something abt the whole ‘her needing to release her anger’ thing? idk ahh I want to analyze her more

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blaithnne · 8 months ago

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my timephoon hot take is that the episode was literally fine, it's the episodes that came AFTER it that fucked things up

#the final confrontation where louie and della say that shit to eachother? peak televesion #the next episodes shouldve. yk. resolved that #but by having the premise be “the entire family is goign to disneyland and leaving louie behind” uh...?#i get what they were going for but they fumbled so hard #timephoon introduces a lot of conflicts that the next episodes SHOULD have resolved #but they didn't. at least not well #like della and louie should've had a proper conversation #and also i dont think della was wrong for steppin in at the end of timephoon like that was warranted #her wording and execution? far from perfect #but she's trying #also. timphoon was fine yes but it could have been way better still #i would have preffered it if they went more in depth about the struggles of motherhood and how beakley and della both felt about it #give me beakley being vulnerable and opening up about how hard its been raising webby alone and how she GETS it #she gets not knowing what to do #she was a spy #she has no idea how to be soft and motherly but she's learned and she's trying and she did it alone #and she doesn't want della to be as alone as she was so she tries to help #but she's a certified grizzled ex spy so fuck if she knows how to be gentle about it #so it just makes della MORE insecur because beakley seems to have it all together #and i wish there was a scene where they could talk to eachother and beakley could admit that she doesn't #she's made mistakes she's fucked up but she's trying and aren't they all?#but yeah. for what timephoon was #it wasn't bad #but the following episodes fumbled #i forget if it was in timephoon or next erpisode were we got della telling louie to shape up or he couldn't be part of the family #like again that was BAD! BUT #it wuld have worked if the show adressed and had her learn from it #and showed that it wasnt out of malice its because she was doing her best!#but they didn't #they were...weird with it

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lalalaugenbrot · 26 days ago

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Attempt at a Comprehensive List of

Alexander von Humboldtʼs Potential Boyfriends

When if not now that Alex came 2nd in the @napoleonic-sexyman-tournament (what a time to be alive) would be the perfect time to finally thoroughly pick his private life apart. Strangely it has always been a mystery even to me (and of course overall it will remain a mystery until the end of times), but I still thought it was about time to at least get some order in the few things that we do know – mainly for myself but also, I dare say, for the public. You (the public!) will find a short text for every friend under the cut ￬.

disclaimers:

a) I tried to pick the most appropriate picture of everyone but please imagine especially the first ones a lot younger than they are in the pictures

b) it’s a potential boyfriends list, meaning: I’m not saying Alex definitely had romantic and/or sexual relationships with any let alone all of these men, it’s just a list of men where it seems at least possible; but ultimately, of course, we do not know and will never know

c) Alex lived for almost 90 years, and even though his textual remains can seem infinite, there is a lot we don’t know about him, especially his private life, not least because he habitually destroyed almost all of his private letters (which is also why for all of his correspondences we only know the letters he wrote but almost never the ones he received) − so I don’t think there’s any way this list is exhaustive (let me know if you think anyone is missing?)

d) Bonpland is not in this because Alex went out of his way to specifically state that his relationship with Bonpland was purely scientific

e) the point of this post isn’t to determine his sexuality, but since it has already come up, just a couple of words on him being on the asexual spectrum: that is perfectly possible and maybe not even unlikely, he said things about himself that could be interpreted as such (not wanting to marry, not having sensual needs); but I think it’s good to keep two things in mind about that: 1. not wanting to get married was a big thing in 1800, something you had to explain yourself for and not wanting to get married as a man also obviously meant not wanting a wife, it was by no means a question on whether or not wanting a significant other and/or sex; 2. the narrative of his sex-less life at least partly derives from the (mainly 19th/20th century) wish for him not to have been (actively) homosexual

f) I hate to be that person, but it has to be said: language and culture back then were much more emotional and expressive than we are used to today, so not everything that sounds super intimate or even romantic to us (language-wise) has to actually have been meant that way; of course this doesn’t rule out anything either but it’s a thing to keep in mind

g) if anyone is interested in sources or further reading on anything particular, do not hesitate to hit me up! But i’m not adding any of that to this post because 1. it’s already 2 km long and 2. this is tumblr dot com

Wilhelm Gabriel Wegener (1767-1837)

18-year-old Alex met Wilhelm in 1787 during the one semester he studied at the University of Frankfurt (Oder). Wilhelm was a (protestant) theology student and on 13 February 1788 they made a “holy” oath to “eternal brotherly love”. They wrote each other very cheesy letters, very much in the Empfindsamkeit fashion of the time, proclaiming their eternal and ever-growing love for each other. There was no one on earth, Alex wrote to him once (and in Italian no less), whom he loved as ardently as him (“Non vi è uomo sopra la terra ch'io amì così ardammente che lei…”). He also told him that, ever since he had met him, it seemed to him that God had created people only in pairs, because no one else could ever compare to what he meant to him. In his letters Alex also repeatedly refers to the many hours spent together (“chatting”) in a certain armchair in Frankfurt and proclaims that he has never been happier than in that very chair.

They kept contact for a couple of years after their time in Frankfurt, but at some point their friendship faded out.

Carl Ludwig Willdenow (1765-1812)

Willdenow (a published botanist) and Alex met in 1788 in Berlin, when Alex had one day decided to just call at his house to ask him to teach him botany. Willdenow agreed and they became friends quickly, spent a lot of time together, and when Alex wandered through Berlin on his own to collect plants, he would afterwards bring them to Willdenow who would then identify them for him.

We do not know a lot about their friendship during that time (and maybe I only included him in this because I needed 9 tiles) but at least one phrase in Alex’s autobiography fragment calls our attention, not least because it’s highlighted by what I like to call a Streisand strike-through: “I became enthusiastically fond of him” or “I grew to love him enthusiastically” (“Ich gewann ihn enthusiatisch lieb”, written in 1801 and crossed out roughly 50 years later).

They stayed in contact even after Alex had left Berlin a couple of months later: in 1795 Alex became godfather of Willdenow’s son and in 1810 he convinced him to come to Paris to work on his botanical collections from the South America trip. Sadly, Willdenow fell ill in 1811 and died in 1812 in Berlin.

Karl Freiesleben (1774-1846)

Alex met Karl in 1791 in Freiberg, where both studied geology and mining at the renowned Bergakademie. Karl was the son of a local mining family and Alex learnt a lot from him about his new profession. They both were nerdy about stones and minerals in ways you couldn’t even begin to imagine. They gifted each other minerals, went down into the mines together, and in August 1791 they made a 200 km long geological expedition through the mountains of Bohemia on foot. But aside from pages-long enthusiastic rants about geology, Alex’s letters to Karl are also full of sentimental love declarations. He called him Herzens-Freisesleben, Herzens-Karl or Herzensjunge (roughly “my heart’s Freiesleben/Karl/boy”) and once finished a letter with: “going to bed now and I’ll be happy when I dream of you” — a passage Karl thoroughly struck through later, probably so no one else could read it, but someone deciphered almost all the struck through passages anyway (not all heroes wear capes!).

Karl and Alex stayed (sporadic and long-distance) friends for the rest of Karl’s life.

Reinhard von Haeften (1772-1803)

The above picture shows a snippet from one of Alex’s travel journals where he noted Reinhard’s birthday (“14 Mai R.”) because sadly we don’t have a picture of Reinhard. But let’s hear how Alex described him:

“This Reinhard v. Haeften has been my only and hourly company for a year now. I live with him, he visits me in the mountains. [...] I have already ridden 8 miles [60 km] just to see him for a couple of hours. He is very tall, taller than most men and he’s only 22 years old but looks more mature than me [at 25]. He has a very remarkable face and everyone finds him to be one of the most beautiful men, and I too think he’s beautiful, but most importantly I have never seen purity of the soul, kindness and courtesy being reflected in anyone’s features as much as in his.”

Alex and Reinhard met in 1793 in Bayreuth (where Alex now worked as a mining official) and they quickly moved in together. However, shortly before meeting Alex, Reinhard had also managed to make a baby with a married woman 4 years older than him. Alex was friendly with Christiane, the child’s mother and helped to keep the birth a secret. The boy (named Friedrich Gustav Alexander, Alex’s godson and surely named after him) had to spend the first years away from his parents. In the meantime, Reinhard continued to live with Alex, accompanied him on business trips and mineralogical expeditions and in 1795 they went on a two-month trip through Northern Italy and Switzerland. It was only with and through him, Alex wrote to Reinhard once, that he could live, only close to him that he could be fully happy.

Later, after Reinhard and Christiane had finally gotten married (and reunited with their son), Alex wrote him a very long letter, proposing for the three of them to (continue to?) live together with Reinhard as head of the family and to settle for quiet life in Switzerland, Italy, or some small town in the west of Germany. That plan never worked out, but “Rein” (as Alex called him), Christiane, their by now two children and Alex lived and travelled together for another two years while Alex was already preparing for his big journey.

After he had sailed for the Americas in 1799, he tried his best to stay in contact with them. In his letters, he called them his “Herzensmenschen” (again, roughly: “his heart’s humans”), wrote them that he was dreaming about them day and night and how much he wished that his – their – Rein could be with him to see all the marvels, too. But cross-atlantic communication was bad during that time and in both directions most letters never arrived.

Sadly, Reinhard unexpectedly died in 1803 while Alex was still in America, meaning they never got to meet again. Alex stayed in contact with Christiane and the children − the only survivors of the shipwreck, as he put it − and wrote Christiane how he still remembered their time together, along with all the hopes and dreams that they had had and that despite the “all-robbing fate”, there was something unalterable in the depth of their love, that could only die with them. When Christiane remarried and had another son in 1806, she named him Gustave Louis Reinhard Alexandre. Alex continued to financially support Christiane and the children and in 1813, Reinhard’s son Fritz (Alex’s godson) visited Alex in Paris for three months.

Carlos Montúfar (1780-1816)

Alex met Carlos in 1802 in Quito and despite him having no scientific qualifications whatsoever, Alex chose Carlos to accompany him on his further journey. This decision offended botanist, geographer and astronomer Francisco José de Caldas (who himself had hoped to join the expedition) so much that he, in a letter to botanist José Celestino Mutis, famously called Carlos “[señor Barón de Humboldt’s] Adonis”, probably insinuating that Alex had picked Carlos purely for his looks, or even more.

Together with the rest of the party, Alex and his supposed “Adonis” travelled what today is Ecuador (where they climbed the Chimborazo), Peru, Mexico, Cuba and the USA. At least once during that journey (but perhaps regularly?) they shared a bed (as in some kind of temporary/mobile accomodation) which we know because Alex explicitly says so in his travel journal when he describes a night in which Carlos had very bad stomach cramps which Alex tried to ease by heating handkerchiefs over the fire for him in the middle of the night.

Carlos accompanied Alex back to Europe in 1804 and stayed with him in Paris for a couple of months (where they most likely both attended Napoleon’s coronation) until he ultimately left to go to Madrid. But since Carlos had trouble getting money from South America, he still had to rely on Alex’s support. However, over time his contact to Alex seems to have broken off, because in a letter from 1806, Carlos complained about Alex not answering him anymore (“¡Qué largo silencio!”) and then told him, quite dramatically, that he was running out of money, and that he, Alex, was his only friend, his only hope, and the only person he knew in Europe who could tell him what to do. Whether all of Alex’s letters had gotten lost in the mail and whether Alex ended up helping him out or not, I think we don’t know. (But knowing him as I do and since he after all kept that letter, I’m sure that he did.)

Later, Carlos went back to South America, where he (alongside Símon Bolívar) fought to liberate the continent from the Spanish Crown − a fight he unfortunately didn’t survive: he was captured and executed by the Spanish in 1816.

Joseph Louis Gay-Lussac (1778-1850)

Alex and Gay (that’s what Alex called him, no pun intended) first met in 1804 in Paris, just after Alex’s return from America. Before, Gay had done two things: 1. contributed to a harsh critique on one of Alex’s papers, 2. ascended 7016 m in a hot-air balloon to investigate the air up there − a world record at the time and more than 1000 m higher than Alex had been on the Chimborazo, which had then also been a world record (in recorded European history).

Evidently, these were the best conditions for them to totally hit it off: they almost immediately started to work on the evaluation of Gay’s balloon ascent and often spent entire days working together in Gay’s room, from 9 am until after midnight. In a letter to his father, Gay wrote that Alex was the man with the best heart he had ever known, that their tastes and sentiments were absolutely the same − and that their hearts felt a great need to see each other very often.

After the publication of their paper (in which they, without fully realising it, also first identified the chemical composition of water: H2O), they (and another friend) went on a six-month field trip through Switzerland and Italy − where they were lucky enough to witness both an earthquake and a resulting Vesuvius eruption. They ended their journey in Berlin where Gay stayed at Alex’s for a couple of months and even started to learn German until he unexpectedly had to leave for Paris. His absence, Alex wrote after Gay had left, pained him a lot.

When Alex finally returned to Paris as well, they shared a single room at the École Polytechnique and even after Gay became a father in 1808 and married in 1809, Alex continued to (at least occasionaly) live with his family for many years. Gay’s first son (born in 1810) was named Jules Alexandre and while I have no proof that he was named after Alex, I think it’s safe to assume. Alex seems to have also been very intimately integrated into the family life, because he once wrote to Willdenow (with a humorous undertone of course): “We are always pregnant and just had a girl again. Right now we’re not feeling anything though.” Alex was also there to help when an explosion in a laboratory accident injured Gay’s eyes so badly that Alex and another friend had to take him home in a blindfold.

No letters between the two have survived (that we know of), but we do know that in the years after they first met, Alex considered Gay his best friend and “one of the kindest beings in the world”, that he named an American plant genus after him (Gaylussacia), and that they used “tu” with each other (which was very uncommon in France at the time except for childhood friends and family). They stayed friends for the rest of their lives and formed a kind of trio with Arago (see below).

Karl von Steuben (1788-1856)

We don’t know when exactly they first met but according to Alex they started to see each other daily in 1812 at the studio of painter François Gérard, where Alex had then started to take drawing lessons. Steuben, a young aspiring artist, lived and worked at Gérard’s studio. According to Alex, they “drew and painted” together “daily” for at least one or two years. Withdrawn from all other society, he wrote, this was now his “only joy” (interestingly almost the exact same wording he had used to describe his relationship with Reinhard 20 years earlier). However, it had perhaps been one of Alex’s exaggerations because he at least seems to have attended the famous salons Gérard held at his studio, where all the cool Paris people came to hang out. Alex reportedly talked incessantly, stayed late into the night (the main thing usually didn’t get going until midnight) and was found there again, freshly dressed and shaved, already at 7 in the morning.

In the meantime, Alex had started to torment basically everyone around him to commission Steuben to paint them, their sons, daughters, fiancés etc. to help Steuben support his poor mother in St. Petersburg. In 1814, even Alex’s brother noted that Alex had suddenly become strangely interested in art. In the same year, Alex became godfather to Steuben’s newborn son Alexander.

However, the biggest commission Alex got Steuben was a life-sized full-body painting of himself, which he intended to gift to his sister-in-law. It took 7 years to finish and in the end Alex’s brother had to pay for transport and framing because Alex had run out of money. Neither his brother nor his sister-in-law were overly enthusiastic about the likeness of the painting or Steuben’s talent in general but they still put it up in their home because after all, as his brother put it, they loved Alex and always liked a picture of him around.

Alex and Steuben stayed in at least loose contact for many years and Alex occasionally even still tried to get him commissions. Steuben’s painting of Alex hung in the Humboldt residence in Tegel for over a century before it was ultimately destroyed in WWII. Apparently though, another Alex portrait by Steuben from 1815 still exists in a private collection somewhere.

François Arago (1786-1853)

Arago, a young astronomer, was on a scientific expedition through Spain when he got entangled in the Peninsular War: mistaken for a French spy, he got arrested and incarcerated, managed to flee, was captured again, transferred, released, drifted off at sea to Algeria, all the while managing to hold on to his most valuable possession: his scientific records, which he kept hidden under his shirt at all times. When Alex heard about this (the two had never met before), he was so impressed by his courage and determination that he sent a letter to congratulate him — and to offer him his friendship. And in fact, one of the first things Arago did when he finally returned to Paris in 1809 was to go and meet Alex. It was the beginning of a 44-year-long friendship. They saw each other almost daily, worked together at the observatory, planned an expedition to Tibet (which never happened), and actually travelled at least to London in 1817 to visit Alex’s brother, who commented to his wife: “Alexander has arrived yesterday. But he isn't staying with me, even though his room had already been prepared. You know his passion to always be with one person who is his favourite at that time. Now he has the astronomer Arago who he doesn't want to part with (...) So they're staying at a nearby inn.” Just as with Gay, Alex and Arago used “tu” with each other and after Arago had gotten married in 1811, Alex was close with his wife and children as well as with his siblings, nieces and nephews — in some letters he even considered himself part of the Arago family.

When Alex was forced to move back to Berlin in 1827 to work for the king, he wrote Arago desperate letters on how much their separation pained him, how much he missed him every hour of every day. In the following 26 years, Alex’s letters to him were full of yearning pleas for just a couple of lines of his hand, which, as he wrote, always made his heart flutter. However, Arago often didn’t respond for months, but when he did, he at least knew to reassure Alex, writing things like: “Outside my family, you are, without any comparison, the person I love most tenderly in this world.” Alex kept a portrait and a large Arago bust in his study in Berlin, and until his late seventies, he travelled to Paris regularly (that is, every few years), first and foremost to see Arago. (Actual quote from 78-year-old Alex in a letter to his niece: “Every morning at half past eight without interruption, I’ve been at Arago’s in the observatory, today for the 62nd time.”) According to Arago, he and Alex have only been angry with each other one single time in all those decades and even that went over in an instant.

They saw each other for the last time in January 1848, on the last night of Alex’s last stay in Paris. When Arago fell ill five years later, his family informed Alex of his worsening condition — but Alex couldn’t travel to Paris to see him one last time. Even over a year after Arago’s death, Alex wrote that the memory of those last moments in January 1848 vividly came back to him during the night at least once a week. He outlived his friend by 6 years.

#alexander von humboldt #alejandro #i'm so sorry alex ://#but this is the part about the mortifying ordeal of being known #(and we're all here to love you for it!!!)#all of this happened because i had a strange and unsatisfying conversation on this that got interrupted and never finished #and i couldn't stop rotating all i wanted to say in my head for literal weeks #and this (an in-depth and overly well researched overview of his 'intimate special friends') isn't at all what i would have wanted to say #but i think it still helped me to finally let go of that conversation #and a bonus: they're all my sons-in-law now🥺#lastly there's a lot i would have to add to this #(for instance did Friedrich Gustav Alexander von Haeften; Jules Alexandre Gay-Lussac;#Alexander von Steuben and Gustave Louis Reinhard Alexandre de Vernejoul ever meet I need to know????)#(or that the portrait i chose for arago was painted by steuben.... 🌝 (the one alex had in berlin was by scheffer though))#(or: it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters)#but actually i'm just going to say this one single thing:#gay-lussacs balloon ascent was a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e I N S A N I T Y #imagine being in a hot air ballon #ON YOUR OWN #SEVEN KILOMETRES from the ground #(that's a plane 25 (TWENTYFIVE!) mins before landing)#in 1804 #(e i g h t e e n h u n d r e d f o u r)#and not to be a pioneer in aviation #but to MEASURE AIR #????????#holy fucking shit

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