#but we'd go to talk about almost anything else with one another and i'd have to be like
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
11 year old me meeting current me is a fun concept. (ID in alt text)
#the crazy thing is that he would see the haircut and mustache and trans flag shirt and be like#“omg we got to transition already?? how did we get ahold of some testosterone” bc i didnt know i was intersex yet back then#but we'd go to talk about almost anything else with one another and i'd have to be like#“oh. right. i forgot how different i was back then. sorry‚ i no longer share almost ANY of those beliefs or identities lol”#i'd go to talk about wanting to fuck bill cipher and he'd be like “haha yeah.. conceptually... y'know not actually since we're asexual haha#and i'd have to be like Oh Kid. No That Was The Trauma.#and he'd go to mention a crush he had on someone and i'd be like “yeah that's called hyperfixating on someone actually.”#and he'd be like “huh.”#and i'd be like “yeah turns out we're aromantic. but not asexual. really got that one backward. sorry.”#andiv3r draws#self portrait#drawing#art#digital art#traditional art#<- was traditional and i scanned it in digitally to colour it#gravity falls#tecnically..???
58 notes
·
View notes
Note
could you do something like the 24hr karting race and shes a driver for senor frogs, she finishes her stint and then like the new video they couldnt find the bed in the rv or whatever so they go into quadrants and theres only one bed and both her and harry need sleep si they have to share?? sorry im so bad at explaining
We’ll have to share -W2S



words: 1.5k+
warnings: unestablished relationship, spooning.
summary: while filming the annual señor frogs 24 hour go cart race you and Harry end up having to share a bed, but nether of you mind since your both majorly crushing on the other.
notes: hello love!🤗 I decided to write this asap even though I have so many requests but I wanted to get this out before everyone gets over the señor frogs high (If you get what I’m saying?). Anyways, enjoy!!💓🏎️
Today I'm driving for señor frogs in the annual twenty four hour go cart race. I woke up early this morning, took a quick shower, got ready, packed a small bag and then set off. It took almost two hours to get to Buckmoore Park and I arrived just after ten, ready for the practice that starts at ten thirty.
I've know the boys for years and are good friends with them all. After they dropped Callux from the team they asked if I would participate this year and after seeing how fun it looked last year I couldn't say no. I've done lots of practice in the last few weeks and I'm actually pretty good. I used to race with my friends for fun when I was younger but that's about all the experience I've had.
When I arrived I parked my car then signed in at the front desk. "Hey! You're here!" Chip's voice echoed through the reception. A smile spread across my face. We shared a quick hug then he walked me to our green room.
Harry, Chris, Will and Freezy stood talking. They turned to me as we entered. "Hi guys!" I set my bag down. I glanced at Harry, he smiled softly at me. They all said their "hello's" then we started talking about the plan for the twenty four hours.
Unfortunately the weather forecast wasn't ideal since it was supposed to rain for almost the entire time but that made it more interesting and fun to watch.
We sent Chip and Plum out for the practice and once that was done it was time for the race to begin. We were starting off with Chris. After getting into our suits all of us walked out onto the track. I pulled mine down so that it rested at my waist and I wore a comfortable black tank top underneath.
Once we'd finished doing some interviews the group headed back upstairs onto the balcony to watch as the race began. As soon as the flag was waved Chris raced over to the cart, accidentally kicking another racer on the way. Harry pushed the cart to give him a boost then he drove swiftly off, along with everyone else.
When twelve am hit it was finally my turn. I suited up and grabbed my helmet. I stepped outside onto the deck, Harry just behind me (who'd already done his first stint, just before Plum went out). "Jesus Christ it's hammering it down." I looked out at the soaked and slippery track. He placed his hands on my shoulder, squeezing. "You'll be fine," he reassured me.
I quickly walked down the stairs, taking a deep breath when I got to the bottom. I looked back up at Harry. He put his two thumbs up. I smiled softly, nodding. "I can do this. Let's hope I don't completely embarrass myself." I thought.
"Nervous?" The camera man asked as I waited. "To be honest I'm shitting myself," I replied with a shaky laugh. Plum pulled in and immediately jumped out, he gave me a quick wave as I passed him. I adjusted the seat insert, got in and then drove off.
As soon as I set off I heard Freezy in the earpiece. He was talking about what place I was and how carful I needed to be on the turns. I could barely concentrate since I was focusing on not spinning out and it didn't help that I couldn't really see out of my visor.
Around an hour in I'd gotten used to it and was now much calmer. I hadn't heard anything through the communications for a while then I suddenly heard Harry's voice. He told me that Freezy had gone for a snooze and that he was replacing him.
"That was really good, one minute nine seconds. Try and keep up that time," he said as I finished another lap. The rain was starting to pick up. "It's so fucking slippy!" I felt as though I wasn't in control, the wheels were spinning everywhere. I just desperately didn't want to spin out and let the boys down.
When I was finally told to come in I felt so relieved. I had no idea what place we were or how I'd done. I practically stumbled out, my legs and bum asleep from sitting in the same position for two hours. I pulled my helmet off as I passed Chip.
When I got to the boys I was met with what seemed to be happy faces. "We're fucking second place in class!" Freezy patted my back excitedly. Harry smiled wildly at me. "I told you you'd be fine." I smiled back at him, relieved that I hadn't fucked everything up.
I was completely soaked so I went to get changed into some comfy clothes that I could sleep in. Plum, Will and Chris had already gone to bed and me and Harry were going to do the same as it was now around two in the morning.
We walked together to quadrants bus, since there wasn't a proper bed in the one Chip had rented and they'd kindly said we could sleep in there's. When we got inside, out of the rain we quietly walked down the hall. I turned to look at him, my eyes slightly wider than a minute ago. "Is there only one bed left?"
"Shit. I think so," he replied before looking around to check again. "What are we gonna do?" I whispered. "Uh- you can have it." My brows knitted together. "No, don't be daft. They're pretty big... we could share?" I was really hoping I hadn't just embarrassed myself.
Harry's face turned red, though I couldn't really tell due to the dim lights. "Uh- uhm- yeah. Okay," he stuttered. I smiled slightly. "Come on then. I'm exhausted."
He got in first. It was slightly awkward since the last bed was at the bottom and practically on the floor. I slid in after, both now on our sides, my back facing his front. Turns out they were smaller than they looked.
Evidently Harry didn't know what to do with his hands, they were sort of hovering over my side. I smirked to myself then grabbed his hand, placing it around me my waist. I shuffled into him comfortably. I felt him physically relax. "You sure this is okay?" He asked quietly. "I'm sure."
I've had a massive crush on Harry since a few months ago when we spent the entire night together at a party nether of us wanted to be at. I laughed more than I had in a while that night and I really enjoyed spending time with him.
I was woken up a few hours later by Chip giggling. My eyes fluttered open and a small tired groan escaped from my lips. "You alright there love? Comfy?" He chuckled quietly, as people were still asleep. I was confused then I realised I was still pressed up against Harry.
Harry shuffled behind me, mumbling something and then shooting up. A loud bang was heard as he whacked his head on the roof of the bed. "Ow." He fell back onto the pillow and brought his hand up to rub his head. Chip laughed even more.
We got out and stood up. I sighed before glancing at Harry. His hand rubbed at the back of his neck, he looked slightly uncomfortable. Chip continued to tease us as we walked back to the green room and he immediately told Freezy and Chris that he'd found us asleep together.
"I knew it! You like each other!" Freezy exclaimed, standing up. My eyes widened. "Uh-" "you guessed it," Harry replied, interrupting me. My head snapped over to him. "You like me?" I blurted out. The room fell silent. "Uhm- yeah- yeah I think I do." My face softened. Freezy chuckled with a smirk.
It turns out they wanted Harry to get back in the cart once again, which he wasn't very happy about. But he ended up agreeing and he got back into his suit. I stood next to him on the balcony, both of us leaning our forearms on the barrier as we waited for the signal that it was his turn to go out.
"I like you too. Just so you know." I said, not taking my eyes off the track. "You do?" He turned to me, surprise evident on his face. I looked at him sincerely. "Mhm, ever since that party last month." A smile graced his lips. "So... did you wanna go for lunch or something after this?" He asked. "Are you asking me on a date Mr Lewis?" I teased. He chuckled. I gently nudged his side with my elbow. "I'd really like that."
"Harry! Time to go!" Chip shouted. I glanced at Chip then looked up at Harry, pushing onto my tiptoes and placing a quick kiss on his cheek. "Good luck!" I whispered. He smirked. "I'll see you in a bit." I nodded before patting his chest.
I watched as he quickly walked down the stairs then I turned to go back inside. I stopped as I noticed Freezy through the window. He raised his eyebrows with a mischievous look on his face. I groaned but I didn't really mind that he'd seen mine and Harry's encounter, all I could think about was the date I was going on in a few hours.
#w2s#wroetoshaw#harry lewis#harry w2s#harry wroetoshaw#w2s x reader#w2s fic#w2s imagine#wroetoshaw x reader#wroetoshaw oneshot#harry lewis x reader#harry x reader#sidemen x reader#youtuber x reader#british youtubers#fanfic#imagine#oneshot#x fem!reader#x female reader#x y/n#x you#x reader#24 hour go cart race#go cart race#go cart#señor frogs#fluff
423 notes
·
View notes
Text

INDIGO
Epilogue
Southern!Jason Todd x Reader
The Beginning
a/n: even if Jason Todd is doomed by the narrative I had to give him a happy end :) I hope you all enjoyed this series that spiraled further than I wanted it to, thank you for all the reads <3
"So, anyway-" you're trying to find your keys in your bag, on the phone with Jason.
It's been almost two months since you sold your parents house, back in Jersey, going to classes and working. Your calls and texts were still pretty sporadic given your varying schedules but you still managed to talk to him at least a few times a week. Save for the memes you would send him almost daily that we're followed by '??????' texts.
"Graduation's in a few weeks, you should come." You offer, since you didn't have anyone else.
"Yeah, yeah, I'd like that." Jason grunts. He's at work, Wayne Ranch, and you can tell he's trying to fix something big and heavy. Metal clanks together every few minutes followed by swears.
"Maybe I can stay for a few days." He mumbles like an after thought.
"That would be great," you smile, unlocking the door to your apartment.
There's a few minutes of silence as you settle in, taking off your shoes and setting down your bag.
"Y'know, I found out Mr. Wayne owns some property up there in Jersey." Jason grunts again. You hear another curse and you laugh to yourself.
"Yeah? Where abouts?"
"Outskirts of Gotham. Heard of it?"
You wrack your brain and hum, "Yeah, it's not too far from where I'm staying. About an hour drive or so."
"He uh.. mentioned maybe needing a hand out managing the property." You stop your movements, your mind is swirling.
"You wouldn't leave Clyde." You remark with a sad smile.
Jason's silent, he sets his tools down and sighs. "Only thing keepin' me here how is this job, darlin'. If he offers me the job up there..." The implication hangs heavy in the air.
"I guess his son has some sort of... animal sanctuary?" He questions himself. "Somethin' 'bout senior animals, ones with disabilities and the like."
"Jay..." You say softly. The thought of Jason moving out of Texas is one thing, but for him to be so close would be a dream come true. Then you start spiraling with ideas. How much is rent in Gotham? What is the job market like for veterinarians?
"We'd be able to see each other more." You bite down on your bottom lip feeling like a giddy little girl as you smile.
"... I'll call you back in a bit, darlin'. I gotta make a couple calls." And Jason hangs up without a goodbye.
Jason doesn't tell you if he talks to Mr. Wayne or not, doesn't mention anything about his calls he so desperately had to make. All he's been texting about is your graduation. When you try to bring it up he brushed you off. So instead you talk about your graduation.
You try to convince him that flying would be cheaper, faster. But he insists he doesn't trust anything that stays up in the air that long. He's rather chance his truck on the two day long drive. You call him crazy, he says "yeah crazy for you".
Another phone call on your way home from work, it's late at night. He says he just needs to confirm the days for your ceremony, making sure it's actually okay if he crashes at your place instead of a hotel. He doesn't want to impose or intrude.
"You're becomin' a doctor, I ain't missin' it for nothin'. I'll be there." A vet, you would remind him and he scoff about semantics. You keep telling him it's in five days, then four days, then three. You know he's not this forgetful.
"Jay, if I gotta remind you one more time-" you open the front door to your apartment and stop dead in your tracks.
Because there he is, all 6'2 200 pounds of muscle of him. He looks so out of place in your small space, but it feels like he belongs, in your space with you.
You fumble with your bag, letting it slide down your arm, your phone slipping out of your hand along with it. Jason ends the phone call with a smile.
"Mr. Wayne gave me the week off, thought I'd show up early." He smiles.
Your arms are around his neck in an instant, you're on your tip toes. His hug is crushing and comforting all at the same time. He smells familiar. Like sunshine and hay, you smile to yourself.
"How'd you get in here?" You find yourself asking.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Ya gotta get better locks on your windows. I climbed the fire escape, popped that sucker right open." He smiles into your shoulder. His arms are tight around you and he lifts you and inch off the ground.
"Yeah, I'll get right on that." You giggle, mutter something about being put back down. You pull back enough to look him in the eyes and you want to cry. Seeing him was exactly what you needed. Like a breath of fresh air.
"Why're ya lookin' at me like that?" He asks in a whisper, smiling.
"Like what?"
"Like I'm the only thing that matters to ya."
"'cause ya are, Jay."
You can't deny it anymore. Not after spending the last two months thinking about him and only him. You had gone on one single date and you felt so guilty the entire time because all you could think about was him.
Jason lets out a quiet noise, something between a whimper and noise of approval. He swallows and buries his face into the crook of your shoulder.
"I took the job." He mutters quietly, you almost can't understand what he says.
"Huh? The job?"
"Yeah, the job. For Wayne. In Gotham. It's.. the actual reason 'm here so early. I start next week. Got m' whole life packed up in the truck."
Your legs wrap around his waist and he lets out a small grunt before steadying you, large palms cupping the backs of your thighs like you weigh nothing.
"You know...Gotham is always in need of vets. Maybe I don't wanna stay in this town after I graduate." Jason's hands tighten on your legs.
"You'd follow me to Gotham? Just like that?" He asks, breathless, hopeful.
"Cowboy, I'd follow you anywhere." You answer. Your arms are tight around his neck, holding him as close as humanly possible. In that moment you decide you're not letting him go, not again.
"I don't think I can ever be away from ya again." Jason admits quietly.
"I missed ya, baby girl." He chokes out with a thick voice.
Baby girl. No longer darlin'. You both knew in that moment that you were his and he was yours.
"I missed you too, Jay baby."
--------
taglist: @lettucel0ver @sinnamon-bunn
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
patience and pleasure pt 3
summary: after dealing with a tough injury, azzi is just hoping for some stability. after their plans fall through, paige finds a creative way to give her just that.
warnings: angst, suggestive language, brief mention of injury.
disclaimer: as always everything i write is fictional!
word count: 2.9k +
author's note: sorry for the long wait, thank you for being patient. i tried something a bit different here, i hope you all enjoy <3
~flashback to november ‘23~
azzi’s pov:
i know everyone loves to believe their best friend would do anything for them, but paige really would.
i knew it from the day i tore my acl. the way paige was crying for me, i thought she got hurt.
i’ll spare you the details but recovery was hell. the worst part was seeing how much of it paige took on. she was at every physical therapy appointment and check up. she called me every night to make sure i was doing my recovery exercises.
between school and practice, paige managed to check in on me at any opportunity.
and the crazy part is...she made it all look effortless.
i didn't want paige to feel like all her hard work was going to waste, so i refused to let her see me when things got really bad. which as of recently, has been the case.
it felt like i was losing years of progress day by day. sometimes i'd lay down and physically feel the time and dedication being stripped from my body. i poured myself into this sport just for everything to be taken from me in an instant.
everything except her.
i remember one night in particular so vividly. i’d spent all day resting and watching enough reality tv to numb my mind.
paige called me every chance she got. seriously, you would’ve thought she was the one injured.
“AZZI, HOW WE FEELIN TODAY,” she yells through the phone.
“oh i’m doing great, p. thanks for asking,” i said sarcastically.
“you know what day it is right?” she asks, her excitement rising.
every year, we’d pick a day in the fall to drive out to my favorite restaurant, charlie’s. they have this amazing fresh basil pizza that i would (no lie) kill somebody for.
the tradition started after paige and i tried to learn how to cook at my house and almost burned down the place. after that, we agreed we'd just make the trip at least once a year. the only bad part was that charlie’s was about two hours away.
“yes, paige. how could i forget?” i say trying not to let her hear my smile through the phone.
“just making sure, i’ll pick you up in an hour,” she responds.
i started getting ready, carefully avoiding my leg. i wouldn’t say this to paige but i’d really been struggling. as much as having her here was great, playing with her was when the magic happened. so i’ve been really looking forward to this, at least some things didn’t change.
i was almost done getting ready when i got another call from paige.
“hey…azzi, bad news,” she speaks softly as if she might scare me. “charlie’s got shut down last month.” she sounds almost as disappointed as me.
“oh,” i respond. it feels as if my world had just collapsed.
i can’t think of anything else to say.
“i’m so sorry azzi, we’ll do something else. i know how hard everything's been recently,” she pleads frantically. she almost sounds like she’s gonna cry.
“nah p, it’s fine really,” i try to sound happy.
“hey i’ll talk to you later, k?” i hang up before she can hear my voice break.
god, why does everything have to be so terrible right now.
paige’s pov:
when i found out about charlie’s, my heart broke for her.
i'd been visiting or calling azzi almost every day since the accident. i know she's gotten annoyed by my overly enthusiastic phone calls but it's the only way i've been getting a smile out of her.
i still remember the first time we went together. from outside, charlie's didn't look like anything special. just another hole-in-the-wall joint tucked between a pawnshop and a laundromat.
but my god, the way her eyes lit up when we stepped inside.
the small interior illuminated by the warm glow of an excessive amount of lamps and chandeliers. none of which followed any cohesive style.
vintage southern soul records croon from the speakers with a gritty authenticity.
i wasn’t a fan of the food to be completely honest, the basil pizza azzi raved about tasted like...pizza to me? the real beauty of charlie's was the ambience.
azzi was the air that breathed life into this place.
a honeyed glow kaleidoscope refracted on her face, her smile still brighter than the surplus of lights. while we ate, azzi gushed over the art covering the wall. effortlessly naming different artists' with the ease of a soul singer.
despite looking like they hadn't been watered in years, resilient dark green vines twisted around bookshelves and counters. the rebellious desire to bloom.
a pale imitation of my admiration for her.
the drive back home was my favorite. a peace seemed to have washed over her, clearly satisfied with our trip. with a special kind of softness only azzi had, she'd hum to herself.
i'd sneak looks at her while driving, watching as the sun flickered on her face through the trees. a slight breeze carrying her curls. the drive was long and boring but moments like this made it all worth it.
so when i found out about charlie's closing, i knew exactly what i needed to do.
it only occurred to me after i'd been deciding between tomato sauces for a half hour, that i might have a thing for her. i stood in the aisle, comparing two nearly identical cans, scanning ingredients like a mad man.
get it together, bueckers. its just pizza.
but it wasn't. it was the way her eyes darted around the room. the slightly higher pitch she took on when she talked about it. the velvety texture of her laugh.
it was her.
i just want everything to be perfect. she deserves it.
i bought both cans just to be safe, plus i needed an extra just in case i burn the first batch.
i must've looked like a crazy person, repeating the list of ingredients under my breath. finally snapping out of my trance, i locked eyes with a bouquet of flowers. the same kind of flowers she'd put in her hair when we went on vacation.
a postcard from simpler times, laced with her careless joy.
without a second thought, i threw them into my basket. the hard part would be what came after. i can't cook to save my life.
after countless attempts and enough youtube tutorials to last a lifetime, i finally had something. a misshapen pizza in the vague form of a heart.
at the very least, it'll make her laugh.
the second hard part was picking an outfit. i usually had no trouble finding an outfit to fit any event but tonight was different. it felt like i had sifted through my entire closet when i finally spotted it– one of azzi tank tops.
would it be weird if i showed up to her house in her clothes?
all things considered, i think it'd be the least strange thing i've done for her tonight. i lifted the top over my head slowly, letting myself catch a hint of her perfume. an earthy vanilla haze coating my thoughts, heat rushing to my face. i'm almost jealous of the damn thing for getting to be so close to her.
if i focus hard enough i can almost feel her touch.
despite my own preferences, i left my hair down. shaking out my roots so my curls fell a bit out of place.
she'll fix it for me anyways. she always does.
i know her. her warm brown eyes will scan my hair and she'll try to ignore it until she can't anymore. she'll let out a big dramatic sigh and roll her eyes then tuck one of my loose curls behind my ear. maybe even throw in a comment or two about charging me for being my personal hairstylist. but behind her sarcasm, azzi's touch carried a kindness i'd never seen before.
i tapped my fingertips anxiously against my steering wheel when i pulled into her driveway. i took a sharp deep breath before stepping out of the car. i'd been to her house hundreds of times, but there was something different about this.
i just hope i did everything right.
my hand shakes slightly as i ring her doorbell.
azzi's pov:
my body flinched when i heard my doorbell. i had been trying to take my mind off of charlie's closing by finally reading one of my favorite thrillers. a bit paranoid after reading so much suspense, i took a deep breath before walking to the door.
i swear if it's another one of those salespeople again. like how many times do we gotta say we're not gonna get solar panels? and at this time of the night? that's some persistence.
as i swing the door open, and my words catch in my throat. paige stands there, fighting off a soft smile. in one hand she carries a small glass container, her nervous fingers fidgeting with the foil on top. in the other hand, golden yellow and red flowers peek out from behind her.
she didn't.
"i just thought i'd– " before she can finish her sentence i fling my arms around her neck nearly knocking both items out of her hands.
feeling her arms wrap around my waist, i nearly cry. my eyes sting and i take a steadying breath into her ear.
paige might just be an earth angel.
my heart swells in my chest, a sweet ache. with my head on her shoulder, a familiar scent wafts toward me.
was that my perfume?
i hug her for a beat longer when i finally pull away, her fingers trace my waist.
she wears my clothes like they were made for her.
"you could've told me you were gonna get all dressed up," i tease, eyeing my shirt.
"we always get dressed up for charlie's," she shoots back with a smile.
and just like that, i'm okay again.
holding the door open for her, i get a good look at her outfit. my gaze lingering on her curves, the fabric melting around the rough edges of her muscles.
even in my porch light, she looked like a supermodel.
watching her plate the food, i felt something deeper than my usual admiration for her. she carefully finds a vase for the flowers. she could navigate my kitchen blindfolded. her fingers sorting through my silverware, a domestic intimacy. things were always so easy with her.
for a moment, i could see our future– not as a new vision, but our inevitable path. a kitchen of our own, shared tableware, late night cooking. i felt a claim to this future like it was promised to me.
shit– i've been staring at her this whole time. i should help her with the food.
i bend over the counter to grab the plates, letting my body drape over her forearm for a moment. i feel her eyes trace my body, a nervous awareness of my movements. straightening my spine, i caught her eye. a carnation-pink dusting her cheek, she snapped her eyes to the floor.
oh, i'm definitely gonna have to catch her staring more often.
as she unwraps the container, i finally get a good look at the pizza: an irregularly shaped crust, with slightly burnt edges.
is that supposed to be a heart?
a giggle bubbles up in my chest and i turn my face to hide it.
"paige, what happened here?" i say between laughs. my eyes softening out of genuine sympathy.
"hey!" she's immediately defensive. "this is a piece of modern abstract art, you're into that stuff anyways," she pokes my side smiling.
"ah, yes. was picasso an inspiration for you in this piece?" i tease.
the fact that paige can't microwave popcorn without setting off the smoke detector but managed to make a whole pizza for me is...impressive to say the least. i almost don't believe it was her.
did she really learn how to cook for me?
my heart swells at the thought of her checking the oven anxiously, flour dusting her cheek. the image is so sweet, it makes my head hurt.
"well, i think it's perfect," i finally let her off the hook.
"that's not all either," she grabs her phone out of her pocket.
a playful smile tugs at the corners of her lips as she scrolls. finally tapping her phone, a few familiar notes of a song plays. it takes me a moment before i recognize it– "loved by you" by kirby.
oh god, she wouldn't–
but of course, she would. grabbing a wooden spoon as a microphone, she belts in right before the chorus.
"cause i heard that heaven ain't easy to get to…" her voice cracks but from the look on her face she's completely tone deaf.
i take a seat, raising my eyebrows at her while holding in a laugh. she beams at me, dramatically taking a deep breath before the next line.
"closest i'll get might be right next to you," she drags out the last note. her wooden spoon microphone in one hand, she cups my face with the other. i can't help but flash her a smile, her thumb falling into my dimple.
a loving warmth radiates from her touch, i have to resist the urge to lean into her palm.
only paige could look this gorgeous while being so ridiculous.
there's something so special about seeing her like this. dancing around my kitchen with the confidence of veteran performer. unabashedly herself, pouring out her heart just to make me laugh. this is when she looks the most beautiful.
"paige, my neighbors are gonna think i'm torturing small animals in here," i taunt.
"boo, you're such a hater," she laughs between verses, still singing.
her hair falls out of place slightly, just adding to her beauty. standing up, i take the strand and tuck it behind her ear. her singing softens to a whisper when she feels my touch.
breathless, her eyes flicker to my lips, and i swear i could hear her heartbeat race. i search to meet her eyes but they remain intently on my lips. her sweet nervous breath tingling against my cheek. she sways ever so slightly, and my breath hitches, thinking she's gonna close the gap.
"azzi–" she closes her eyes briefly.
she's so close to giving in, i can see the indecision on her face.
"how have you been, like really," her eyes open, filled with tender worry.
her question catches me off guard. i thought i'd been doing a good job keeping all this to myself.
she sees right through me.
after everything she's done for me tonight, i owe her a bit of vulnerability. i take a deep sigh before answering.
"it's been... tough. yeah. i haven't been doing great." i respond, recalling countless days i've spent wishing i could get back to normal.
"you know, i'm here for you, right?" her words carry intention, i know she means it.
"i know, i just didn't want to be a burden," i feel my words catch in my throat. my eyes start to water.
"oh, azzi–" she pulls me into a deep hug. "never say that again."
paige has this amazing ability to make my worries disappear in just a few sentences.
i melt into her hug, my body going slack in her arms. a few tears land on her shoulder. i can't think of the right thing to say, caught between thanking her and apologizing.
"whatever you want, okay? i'm here. even if it takes a million of those little picasso pizzas," she laughs softly, stroking my back.
"speaking of which, they're probably getting cold by now," i pull back collecting myself.
she nods, giving my hand a squeeze before letting go. despite its shape, the food is great. dare i say it may even be better than charlie's, but i wouldn't tell her that.
like always, we fall into an easy conversation. in just the span of a dinner, i can feel weeks of heavy apathy fall off my shoulders.
how did i get so lucky?
paige's pov:
seeing her smile was the highlight of my night. even if it was just for a few hours, i'm glad to have my girl back.
empty plates sit forgotten on the counter as we lounge in her living room. sitting as still as i possibly can, azzi's head rest on my shoulder. her breath slows to a sweet hum. i watch her chest rise and fall like waves crashing on the shore as she dozes off.
of course, she also looks pretty when she sleeps.
i hate to interrupt this beautiful moment, but it was getting late.
"azzi," i whisper to her, trying to wake her gently.
"hm," she whines, slowly blinking.
"i should probably get going," i say, hoping she can hear the reluctance in my voice. knowing if she said stay, i would.
"okay..." she responds finally sitting up. "just one more thing."
anything. whatever she wants.
"yeah, what's up," i try to sound nonchalant like i wouldn't drop everything for her in an instant.
"can you help me take my brace off so i can change clothes?" she sounds almost embarrassed for having to ask.
"yes, of course," i respond, failing to hide my eagerness.
she stands in front of me, using my shoulders for stability. my fingers work at the straps gently. my movements are deliberate and careful as i grip her hips. as she changes, i find a spot to stare at on the floor respectfully.
"better?" i ask.
"yeah, thanks" she replies bashfully.
i stand to hug her goodbye. i swear it hurts a little more each time i leave.
"thank you...for all of this," her breath tickling my shoulder as she speaks.
"always." i hope she knows i mean it.
loving azzi was the easiest thing i've ever done in my life.
170 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sunset Died - Erin's Crew
Last Desert Day (Part 1)

The last day at the base was a bit hectic. Everyone got up at their usual time, and this time they swapped their comfortable clothes for camouflage again. “I had only just got used to a bit of normality again. Now I'm excited…"/ ‘It's not just you, Shearing, hn.’/ ‘How long will the first stage take?’/ ‘About 7 hours, I guess’.

Chloe looked for a moment at the cereal flakes floating around in the milk. “Phew, 7 hours of sitting… I think I'll definitely go to the loo again later before we fly off”/ “I would have advised you to do that in any case, hn. And if it's urgent on board, you know what you have to do"/ ‘Yes, but it's so embarrassing in front of the others’/ ‘I understand that.’

For Diego, it was the last time he would be tidying up the kitchen at the military base for the time being. The flight wouldn't be leaving until the evening, but he wanted to get on with the task he hadn't managed the day before. He wanted to run a few errands in the city, especially picking up the medication. He had already called one of the pharmacies as a precaution and asked if they could put together a package.

Roman wasn't particularly relaxed that morning, rather irritable. “What's going on? Have you perhaps changed your mind and want to stay here?"/ ”Nonsense, I just didn't remember that we'd have to turn up in winter clothes. And I don't really have anything like that in my wardrobe"/ ‘I'd be happy to lend you something of mine’. Roman looked at her with his familiar disparaging look. “Huh? No, that's all right, I'll have another look in the spare clothes cupboard”

Later. Diego has gone into town with Roman to get the rest of the things. “And you're really sure there's a pharmacy in the supermarket?"/ ”Yeah, sure, or do you think I'm stupid? You'd better get the other things"/ ”OK, that's fine, man, sometimes you act like the boss himself!”

The two of them went into the supermarket. While Diego went straight to the pharmacy section, Roman made almost half a circuit of the entire store. He didn't actually have much to buy. But then he stopped at one of the shelves. “oh yeah… I've really controlled myself long enough now, come to daddy, hehe”.

Once they were outside again, Roman put the boxes down at the side for a moment and sat down on the bench to light up one of the cigarettes he had just bought. “hh… Oh man, that's really good"/ ‘wow… you've lasted all this time without them, why are you starting again?’.

While Diego walked towards the bench, Roman looked after him and had to squint a little because of the sun shining on his face “be honest, what else can I do here in this town at the moment? smoking is a bit like sex. At least you have a stimulant and can lick her black pearl from time to time”…

“Hn, at least her pearl tastes better than that shit you're sucking into your lungs"/ ”hhp, thanks, I didn't really want to know that exactly. Did she talk to you last night? About your conversation with the general?"/ ‘Not really, she just said it's all sorted.’. Only Diego knew at that moment that wasn't quite true. Erin had spoken to him about the matter with the surveillance cameras. But he remained calm and promised not to tell anyone else about it.

“I see. And how long is our assignment there supposed to last? Another three months?” said Roman in a sarcastic tone. “No, certainly not that long, hopefully not. We won't be the only ones helping them out there. They also need heavy-duty helicopters for the evacuation, which they don't have here, but other teams are already in the starting blocks. Let's see what it looks like there first.” / ”hh, okay. Let's go back”.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

@greenplumbboblover ⭐
#sims3#ts3 screenshots#simsstories#sims3 story#ts3 story#ts3 gameplay#ts3 simblr#sunset died#post apocalyptic#erin kennedy#diego swan#roman cardona#chloe shearing
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Winchester in Mystic Falls Part 5
So far tailing Elena and her friends has been entertaining to say the least. I've learned that she's still friends with Bonnie and Caroline. Bonnie was never cruel to me, she just ignored me like everyone else in town did. Caroline on the other hand was right there with Elena. They both tortured me my entire childhood. Most of it was emotional, the name calling, making everyone in my life ignore me and pretend that I didn't exist. Sometimes though they would go on some sort of power trip and hurt me. Looking back on that now I remember being so scared of them both, but now they look like weak little dolls in my eyes. What they put me through made me who I am today, it set me down a path to meet my brothers and for that I am grateful to them.
It doesn't surprise me that the three girls are still friends, just like it didn't surprise me when I learned Bonnie was a witch or that Caroline got turned into a vampire. What did surprise me was the fact that Elena is a doppelganger. Apparently it was one of Elena's doppelgangers that turned Caroline. Another interesting thing I learned was that the originals where in town. Sam and Dean learned about how vampires came to be when they captured one and had a little chat. That vamp was about 900 years old so they still knew the stories of the originals, it even claimed to be turned by one. I had yet to see one running around town but from what I've gathered they came here to sacrifice my sister to break a curse. If I had to take an educated guess it would be the curse placed on the hybrid.
If it really is the originals in town then I really need to hit the books to find something to kill them with. All of the lore I've read up to now had never mentioned a way to kill an original. As far as I know they are truly Immortal. Maybe I could just kill all the non original vampires in town and then hightail it out of here before they get wind of a hunter. Lets be honest I'm going to end up dead by the end of all of this.
I haven't talked to Elena since I got interrupted before I was able to have a little chat with her. I assume she's told her little boyfriends about what happened by now, so me getting within 10 feet of her again is out of the question. So making a scene in public is now my only option to find out what she knows. This whole thing is getting tiresome already. If it weren't for the innocent people dying I'd cut my loses by now. But I am a Winchester and Winchesters never back down from anything. Hell not even from the actual devil, and the Mikaelsons are no Lucifer.
getting back to my hotel room I get comfy on the bed with my laptop, if I'm going to find anyway to kill the originals I have to channel my inner Sam. Full on research mode. After hours of sitting and looking at the computer screen I've come up with one possible lead, one impossible lead. White oak. It's almost too good to be true but It's all I got. Some hunter in New Orleans had a story passed down generations in his family. Apparently the only thing that could stop an original was an original themselves, or a weapon one of them possessed. A dagger dipped in White oak ash. If the ash from this tree could put them to sleep imagine what the real thing could do. Unfortunately all records of the white oak tree say that it went extinct centuries ago. Another dead end.
Deciding that I've had enough of the headache that is research I get dressed and head back to the Grill. I'm starving, one of the things Dean and I have in common is our appetite. I think he was secretly happy to have someone around to out vote Sam on where we'd eat. Maybe if I'm lucky I can run into Elena again there, kill two birds with one stone.
When I walk into the Grill I spot them right away. Elena and her little gang looking directly at me. By the look on dumb and dumbers faces she defiently told them what I was going to do to her. I sit down at a table ignoreing them the best I can until I can at least have somthing to eat. While I'm waiting on my food I notice two guys sitting at the bar again. Talk about deja vu. The vibe coming from these two is defiently dangerous but there's something else I can't quite place, It's like a comfort almost. Just as I'm about to stand up to go to them I get snapped out of my daze by my food arriving.
While I'm enjoying my food I start to notice everyone slowly leave the Grill. EVeryone apart from Elena and her friends, and the two guys at the bar who have now turned around to face us obiously interested in what is happeneing. I look up from my food to see my sister and her friends walking over to my table. Bonnie and Caroline are behing my sister and her two boyfriends are infront of her. Anyone would think shes the president with the way they protect her.
"How can I help you Elena, would you like some of my fries?" I question her, I always have to have the first and last words. Something Sam and Dean both love and hate about me.
"No I don't want you're fries Y/N, I want to know why you're in town and how you know about vampires" Elena says, she looks so serious I burst out laughing.
"Sorry, you acctually think I'll just tell you because you asked. Wow you really have no idea who I am now do you Elena?" I stand up as I ask my question getting ready for a fight. By the way everyone clings to Elena's side I guess they are too.
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Out of Order.
This takes place after this thread when Elara runs away from Monty thanks to Titan distracting him so she can get to the clinic. Sorry for the delay. This is a one shot followed by a small event. Please do not respond to this thread.
As Elara ran away from their confrontation, Monty felt anger rising in his systems. It burned him alive. He almost couldn't stand the pain of his wires being fried a little from the heat. So. Angry! His violet optics were starting to turn a blood red.
Titan leaned his head back and gave Monty another firm headbutt. Hopefully that would help Monty focus. It usually worked.
"Focus on me, dipshit! We'd run into each other less often if you just followed the damn rules and got a fucking hobby." Titan growled.
This only seemed to make Monty angrier as he pushed away from Titan, that headbutt not doing anything to him this time. In fact, it only seemed to rile him up more. Monty stomped away from Titan by a few steps and threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.
"Is that all you ever care about?! Rule this, rule that!?" Monty pointed at Titan accusingly, "You allow Andromeda to bend and break every fucking rule it's disgusting! Hypocrite!"
Titan opened his mouth to say something. He quickly closed it, his face burning a dark copper tone in a silent admission of guilt. Andromeda really did get away with a lot... She could do anything except leave this place.
"Everyone else got a lot more freedom than I do. Hell. You even gave Chica permission to go into the kitchens. But I get a bunch of freaky turtle statues?!"
Titan's face color returned to normal as he couldn't help the smug grin that he gave the giant green rock star a nonchalant shrug and a smirk.
"To be honest with that one, Monty. You've been absolutely shit last year. You broke a stage bot, terrified a few customers and..." Titan's smirk fell straight into a deadpan stare, "You physically blocked a human staff member from her normal duties and tried to coerce her to come close to you. You know WHY that is forbidden."
Monty growled lowly at Titan. Of course he'd find out and talk to him about it someday.
"You got me on the tightest lock down out of all the Stars..."
Titan raised his voice in anger, gesturing a hand to the air in frustration, "BECAUSE YOU HAVE A VIOLENT TEMPER!? You've destroyed my original body because Andromeda sure fuck wasn't interested in you! You fought me TWICE because Chica wasn't interested in you either! You've broken a few stage bots AND you've nearly mauled that woman one time--!"
"Then WHY am I still here if I'm oh so dangerous!?"
Titan scoffed a bit, his voice turning cold, "Because the company sees the financial gain in having a quote un quote bad boy slash lady's man type of character on board. Honestly, Nico makes a better impression of yourself and without the violence. I'd decommission you myself if I could."
Monty stared at Titan. That line was nothing new to Monty. He's heard that line before and after Titan got his new body years ago. Now was the time to decide if he felt like fighting Titan today. He was leaning on a yes...
".... You're nothing more than a warden in this prison."
Titan shrugged. He knew there was some truth to that. He let out a tired sigh and pointed down the hallway.
"Then get back to your fucking cell, jackass. I don't have all day to waste time babysitting you."
Babysitting. Yeah. That'd do it. Hell. Monty has started a fight with this guy for nothing. Just because.
"Before I swing on you, Titan, answer me one thing..... what's so fucking special about that lil green bot that got away from me?"
Titan stared up at Monty, not daring to speak a word. This made Monty smirk mischievously.
"That your side piece?"
Titan's face screwed up to show a look of pure rage and indignation, "No?! She's a friend. Someone I'm trying to help you freakin-- SHE HAS A FAMILY, ASSHOLE!? Not every woman you see is up for grabs, as you would say! You're a fucking pig!"
Monty chortled darkly, "Says you, you smooth bastard. I've seen you with that other new friend of yours. The other dark sun model?"
Titan froze. He couldn't believe Monty was about to suggest what he was hinting at. Besides that -- Callisto was a... Situation of a feeling he hasn't really dealt with or handled yet. Especially with his conflicting emotions regarding Andromeda. But at the end of the day he could say that he did like Callisto. She was different... And he really.... really... didn't want Monty to speak her name. Or about her. He felt something inside of him twitch at the very thought of it.
"What about her...." Titan gave Monty a warning growl, one of his eyes turning a deep red color as he felt anger rise to the surface. Oh, Titan always did try to keep a lid on his anger. He hated it when he got out of control.
Monty grinned widely, now feeling a bit more in control of the situation. "A bit rough round the edges for my taste but I bet she's a sweet replacement for the Sun that doesn't love ya back, huh?"
That was so much worse to say. It felt like a bullet went straight into his metaphorical heart. That's -- that's not why he talks to Callisto at all!! To say that was-- That was just an ugly thing to say about her. Titan's stern face crumbled a bit and Monty's tail began to wag when he saw it. Oh that's new. He didn't know he could finally make Titan express emotion around him at all. Monty opened his jaw to say something else but Titan beat him to it.
Titan reached out to grab Monty by the snout with both hands. Both of his eyes were now red and his optics were slightly glassy from the emotional turmoil that was bubbling up inside of him. Monty struggled a bit but paused at Titan's trembling voice that shook with both fury and heartache.
"If you ever say anything like that about Callisto again, I will make sure the next time you turn on...it'll be with a clean AI and a new body. Maybe I'll suggest making you female JUST so you can be someone's bitch. I heard Bonnie was looking."
Oh that riled Monty up into a ferocious snarl. That got the fighting spirit in him. Monty dropped to the ground, yanking Titan with him, and performed a Gator's death roll. The pair tumbled and clanged loudly in the hallway. Rather than investigate the noises, the entire Theater seemed to go dead quiet. No one who knew wanted to be near them...
Titan grunted as he was tumbled around in the hall and struggled to regain his footing. He was forced to let go of Monty's snout and rolled away a couple of feet. He groaned a bit as he was tossed against the wall in such a stunt, his head smacking against the wall harshly. It caused his vision to see double as it rattled his optics. Titan struggled to get up to his feet as the world spun around. Monty was going to take that to his advantage. While Titan did outclass him by just a SMIDGE in strength, he had claws and teeth to his advantage. If he could gain the upper hand in any way, he'd take it. While Titan was struggling to recalibrate, Monty pounced. He got to his hands and feet and launched at Titan full force, knocking him over and pinning Titan below him.
He roared in his fury, unable to make coherent words. Monty swiped at Titan with his claws rather than closed fists. The sound of metal tearing could be heard and Titan did raise his arms to try to defend his head. He lifted his legs and firmly bucked Monty off of him. They pair scrambled for dominance as Titan swatted away the damage reports.
Torn face, missing optic, torn chassis, torn arms, major oil lines cut open, one fan crushed and inoperable, damaged battery port --
It was through sheer will power and anger that Titan had the energy to get up and give Monty one good punch across the face. Monty let out a pained yelp as his lower jaw was ripped clean off. He stared at the floor in shock, watching as his lower jaw clanged to the floor violently from the sheer power Titan put into that hit. Monty stared at Titan in shock.
Titan's body shook violently before it froze in place....and then fell over. It seems his body ran out of oil.... Monty stared at the security guard in shock. This mother fucker...... He was holding back on him. But. Why? Monty shook his head. He quickly picked up his lower jaw and stumbled out of the hallway, leaving Titan's body behind.
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
Helloo Ash!! 🌷🥰💕
Here's some self ship questions for any fo(s) of your choosing!! 🙂↕️☕🌷🎍
1. Where and how did you two meet? Was it love at first sight, or more of a slow burn for you two?
2. Would you rather go for a moonlit walk along the beach or have a night under the stars in the mountains? Describe what that looks like for you two.
3. List three songs that describe your relationship.
4. If you and your fo(s) were animals, what would you be and why? Feel free to provide visuals if you want!
5. What colors/scents/moods or aesthetics remind you of your fo and your relationship? What's your vibes/essence as a couple? Feel free to be as descriptive or vague as you want!
Oh my Goodness Hey Jelly💕
First of all I want to say I love your works and your blog as a whole. You're super super talented and the amount of positivity you spread is so inspiring 🌻🥰🌻
I've been on a mad Sam Winchester fixation right now. He's just such a sweetie and I just wanna take away all his trauma and treat him so well because he deserves it.
P.S: I'm sorry for the delay and how long it is. I've just had these scenarios swirling around in my head for so long and I had to get them down. Not to mention a little yapper. Love you ❣️
🪻🌲🪻
1.)- We'd definitely meet through Bobby Singer. Not because I was a hunter. It was more so because I was one of the few people who would check in on Bobby. I'd go visit him just to keep him company, make sure he was fed, and help him out around his property. Learn the ins- and-outs of hunting. Its very much a grandfather/granddaughter dynamic.
When Sam and I first met it wasn't love at first sight. But there was be some initial interest for sure.
It was a very slow to start, simple 'hello's' and small talk while I made my rounds at Bobby's. I was super shy and anxious around Sam in the beginning, being slightly intimidated by how attractive and sweet he was. And he definitely picked up on it, finding it amusing at how open and talkative I'd be with Dean and Bobby. But the second I was with him it was like the flip of a switch. How I got all quiet, anxious, and tongue tied. Always trying my best not to look like a nervous, blushing wreck, but he never called me out or picked on me for it. He just gave me the space and time I needed to let things flow naturally. To let me open up at my own pace.
The more times the boys came to visit, the more comfortable I got around him. And eventually started to be more open and approachable with him. Inviting him to take some afternoon walks with me around Bobby's property if he was up for it. Asking if he wanted help setting up for hunts, which he'd let me, despite me not really knowing what I was doing. Actively seeking him out late at night when he was researching in the bunker, asking him if he wanted to come up for a cup of tea or coffee.
The late nights were when we really started to bond. When it was just the two of us sitting at the table, talking for hours and hours over multiple cups of coffee. When there weren't any distractions. That's when we really clicked. We could talk about anything to each other, be vulnerable with one another. Discuss and share things we buried deep within ourselves, things that we didn't really share with anyone else. It was during those moments we really began to understand each other. To appreciate one another as people with all our flaws and mistakes.
To really see each other.
Whenever he'd come back to Bobby's after his and Dean's hunts. The sparks always seemed to intensify. The lingering looks of affection, the deep, gentle embraces, and time spent together. And when he wasn't around, he always made sure to call at least once every week or two. Talking about the cases he'd been on, asking me about my day, sometimes calling to say he just wanted to make sure I was ok. Wishing I was there with him and that he and Dean couldn't wait to get back. I couldn't even count the time I almost let an 'I love you' slip at the end of those calls.
It all got to a point where it wasn't even a secret anymore. It was like we both instinctively knew how we felt, but neither of us wanted to say it. So Dean and Bobby did. Telling us we just needed to get on with it and stop dancing around each other. To act on how we felt, even if it was unconventional and against the odds. And maybe it was. But we didn't care knowing we had each other, and that there wasn't any reason to hide how we felt any more.
🪻🌲🪻
2.)- Definitely a night under the stars in the mountains. If Bobby would allow it, he'd let the boys and I take off into the black mountains for a day or two just to have a break from all the monster hunting and demon slaying. These nights usually entail sitting on the hood of the Impala while Dean is asleep. Watching the stars and sharing a beer all while cozied up with one another. I'd probably be in one of his old flannels or Carhartt jackets, cause he'd fuss about me staying warm. Making sure I was as comfortable as possible.
We'd talk some, maybe about astrology, maybe about what our lives would be like if we hadn't met each other, maybe even about running away. But a lot of it would just be comforting silence. Relishing in each other's company. Taking the time to just be. To share that deep connection of companionship.
I'd make sure he felt safe and loved in those quiet moments between us. Knowing all the trauma he'd experienced in the past, knowing the life he led wasn't the most tender and caring. I'd want him to know that I was there for him. That I wasn't going to reprimand him for all his last mistakes. That he wasn't alone. Not while I was in the picture anyways.
In those tender moments together, knowing that we supported and genuinely cared about each other. It would spark a lustful streak in Sam. Considering he hadn't experienced real, true love since Jess. We'd let things lead to more sinful, pleasurable activities, because why wouldn't we? But we'd find a secluded place for that first. We wouldn't want to mentally scar Dean with the image of his brother and I fucking on his most prized possession.
🪻🌲🪻
3.)- Songs that describe our relationship:
Skin and Bones - ORKID
I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys
Nightcall - Kavinsky
There's No Way - Lauv, Julia Michaels
YAD - Vanna Rainelle
🪻🌲🪻
4.)- Sam would be a moose for obvious reasons. With how big and tall he is, he's the human version of a moose both in stature and personality. Gentle and kind, but also strong and firm when necessary. He's just a cute, sweet moose <3
I feel I would be a rabbit ngl. Not because of the sexual innuendo. I just feel I connect with the personality traits associated with rabbits. Shy, skiddish, anxious at first, but very affectionate and friendly once I'm comfortable with someone. Having that sense of tenderness, but the ability to be cunning with those I don't like or trust.
🪻🌲🪻
5.)- Colors and Aesthetics:
There would be a lot of forest greens, lavender purples, dusty browns, and foggy/haunting greys. Maybe a few splashes of golden yellows and denim blues. Very much dark haunted forest meets a bouquet of wildflowers vibe. Scents include white pine, wet moss, black tea, lavender, vanilla and sandalwood. Here's a moodboard to kinda give you a better idea <3
The vibes/essence of the relationship is very soft, tender, and domestic. Quiet evenings of me helping Sam study lore and researching for cases. Sam watching me paint or helping me dye my hair over midnight coffee. Slow, passionate love making and hand written love notes before he leaves for hunts. Here's another moodboard <3
Thank you so much for your ask. Hope you have a wonderful day Hun 🪻🌲❤️🌲🪻
#sam winchester#supernatural#spn#spn fandom#self ship#self ship x canon#f/o#f/o community#romantic f/o#jelly asks#moodboard#sam winchester moodboard#f/o moodboard#i love you jelly#self ship community#selfship community#f/o imagines
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
diary post #1
summer so close! school gets out on thursday, and it's only a half day - we have two finals, lunch, and then a makeup period for people who miss a class or need to talk to their teachers, and I don't have anything that I need to do, so I can leave at eleven, basically!! :P
monday was a half day, too, because of how hot its been here. our school was rebuilt recently so it has AC, but not everywhere in the district does. I think that most people either take the city bus or get driven, but there's some people who live in the suburbs that have to take school buses, so the end time needs to align with everywhere else.
I only had one real exam today, in math, which was cumulative but pretty surface level for every unit. I'm almost 100% sure that I got a 7 :)))) (IB grading system - that's the highest possible mark, equivalent of an A+) other than that, I had choir, which didn't have a final, and English, and we'd already finished our essays and the test, so it was just acting out various scenes from r+j. my group forgot our lines a little bit xD but it was fine overall.
I got a whole lot of people to sign my yearbook. it's pretty full now, which I'm glad about. my main goal is always to get as many signatures as possible. a lot of people wrote full notes this time, which I wasn't really expecting, but was very happy about. I'm gonna try to get more signatures in my other classes, too.
I think that this summer is going to be rlly fun !! I have summer homework for math and chem, which are both ib classes, and then this one gov't extracurricular I do, but none of it is particularly heavy. I'll prolly wait until sorta late in the summer to do them, anyways, so that all the info is fresher in my brain. I feel bad for my sister - every single class (8 in total) that she's taking is IB, so,,,,,,,lots of homework.
once school ends, I'm almost immediately going to this writing workshop camp at a nearby college :D it's residential, which I'm quite excited about, and somewhat difficult to get into - 65 people accepted this year, some unknown number of applicants in the hundreds - so I'm proud of myself for getting there in the first place, not to brag too much. I'm one of the younger people going there - it's rising 10th-12th - but I think it should be fine. I got in for poetry, which I haven't posted here at all, but might once I get the courage to do so lol. I think it'll be super fun! I don't wanna name the specific program, because i'd basically be announcing my location for two weeks, but I might do so after the fact.
after that, it's Seattle + the mcr concert with m, then my parents n sister r gone for a wedding and a camp at another college (all the way on the east coast o_O) respectively, so my brother n I get to basically stay alone. my aunt will be staying at our house, but she has work, so we have the days to ourselves. I think it'll be fun !
right after my parents get back I'm going camping with two friends of mine, and then a few weeks after that we'll go to the coast for a few days with my grandparents. I've got a few weeks after that, and then it's back to school :'( I prolly won't be too upset or anything by then - I always end up kind of missing seeing my friends everyday, choir, having a steady routine, all of that.
oh, and almost all of my friends (that I'm close with) have birthdays in or near summer, so there's that, too!!
wow, looking back this is really just me ranting for a while. also, anyone who knows me irl would immediately know who I was, but what are the odds of them stumbling across this blog, right? well, it's nice to have somewhere to put down my thoughts after school n stuff. that's really the whole purpose of a blog, right? I liked doing this, more than just writing in a physical journal or something. maybe that's because typing is faster. well, anyways, I'll prolly do this semi-regularly. hopefully I'll gain the confidence to post some of my more serious/official writing (mostly poetry) soon! excuse the multitude of tags - I wanna get more mutuals and find people who post similar stuff, so I'm trying to have as many people sorting tags by new stumble upon this as possible lol
anyways, see ya later !! ^-^
-elle
#elle rambles#virtual diary#diary#digital diary#diary entry#journal entry#journal#dear diary#teen writer#young writer#journaling#thoughts#reflection#self reflecting#just reflecting#wow that's a lot of tags#one for my blog specifically:#elle's diary entries#okay that works ig#ok now its time to press the post button#because that's how this works#why am I still ranting in the tags?#I really am a yapper at heart lol#professional yapper#fr fr
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
I’ve seen your Joanna headcannons. What about lyarra stark? Part of me thinks she could be really wild but the other part thinks she could be a patriarchy enforcer like Rickard was. Then again my mom was a ceiling glass breaker but started to deter my sisters and I from that sort of behaviour as we became teens which oh course didn’t work we were tough nuts and party girls.
She's another tricky one... I'd love to know more about Lyarra but for whatever reason we know less about her than almost any other notable dead lady. Which is pretty fucking odd, given this is House Stark we're talking about - we know about ten times as much about Joanna and Rhaella (and they're a pretty low bar) - Lannister and Targaryen are the other two of the big three houses in the story, so you'd think we'd know about as much about the Stark matriarch as we do Joanna and Rhaella. but no lol. There are at least some sketchy details to work with with the UPOD (and she doesn't even have a name!!), and we even have more for Cassana Baratheon née Estermont and Minisa Tully née Whent - granted, no more than the fact that Cassana died in a shipwreck, and Minisa is vaguely remembered in Cat's chapters, but at least they're in the books. Lyarra is never even mentioned on the page - her name comes from an appendix, there's nothing else to go on. And this is really annoying to me lol
So I guess anything I imagine about Lyarra has no real basis besides my own tastes, but I do picture her as another parent who had favourites, and that hers were Brandon and Lyanna. I imagine her as having a bit of the wolf's blood in her as well, and she was proud to have children who shared it. We don't know how she died so I just hc her passing away of an illness (surprisingly few dead people in ASOIAF have just 'sickness' as cause of death lol it's like GRRM you don't have to say 'in childbirth' every damn time) in Ned's early-to-mid teenage years.
But yeah I don't imagine her as a perfect benevolent matriarch... this is definitely headcanon territory, but I picture Ned as having been a little bit of an odd one out in his family, where he ends up kind of pushed to the back behind all the big personalities, and with Brandon soaking up all the limelight and their parents' attentions. It's interesting to me that Rickard (and Lyarra?) worked hard on good matches for Brandon and Lyanna but seemingly never made one for Ned, so he was very much a second son.
And yeah the feeling I get about Lyanna is that she was a version of Arya who grew up with more validation and less judgement for the ways she didn't conform (hence why Ned is largely accepting of Arya's non-conformity as well) - so Lyarra was maybe an outdoorsy type as well who wanted to share her hobbies with her daughter.
Ultimately I don't imagine the prev gen Starks chafing much amongst themselves, and that Lyarra, whilst having favourites, wasn't ever unpleasant to Ned - but her preferences were obvious enough that it led to some private hurt on his part, and resentment towards Brandon, that then turns to guilt after Brandon's death (more thoughts on the Ned/Brandon r/ship here). However, I also hc Ned and Lyanna as very close in their youth, so being Lyarra's least favourite son is a little made up for in being Lyanna's fave brother uwu
#ask#lyarra stark#ned stark#lyanna stark#sorry this is mostly about ned#he's the easiest angle to approach lyarra from given he's the only POV we have who would have met her
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
The First Meeting: Part One
Echo is finally escaping his Hive. Unfortunately, everything quickly goes wrong and he finds himself in odd company.
| series typical (see mp) | peril and falling | losing breath | derogatory use of it/its pronouns |
[masterpost] [Part Two] [Part Three]

A misty rain blanketed the night. Droplets of water splashed along the veins of leaves. The dark clouds hung ominously silent as they slowly moved in the wind that was much louder. Above all of this the sound of chatter drifted down from the balcony above me.
I peered past the rain drops to get one last look of my dearest, and only, friend.
Leaf's smile dazzled through the gloom. He was still beaming from the ceremony earlier today. His time as a lowly trainee was finally over and he could began his career as a guard at last. Not even this deary night shift could bring him down. And he wouldn't let his fellow guard be down either, he was animatedly chatting with the unseen guard.
A faint smile crept up my face before I could smother it.
This was a moment I've dreamt of countless days and nights. Being somewhere like this, with the outside so close, so easy to run. I'd get Leaf alone and we'd talk. About nothing at first but then I'd start telling him all the things that I hadn't had the words for before now. Tell him that I love him. That I want to be together always. Just not here. Anywhere else, run away with me!
Laughter burst from above. Leaf moved out of view, walking away with the other guard.
It was just a dream, it would always be a dream. Leaf has never listened to me before. And tonight was too important to risk on him.
I had to do this alone.
The bark of the hive tree glistened with rain. Little rivers had formed, winding through the cracks and crevasses of the bark. I disrupted the flow by using those same spots as handholds to climb down the tree.
Bit by bit I made my way down to the ground. The wind tugged at my clothes, but I kept a good grip onto the tree. And at least the Hive Tree would keep me safe one last time.
Finally my boots hit dirt. Squelching in the mud.
I ran my hands against the grain of the wood. Then I pushed off from the bark into the underbrush.
The forest floor was littered with all manners of obstacles. Fallen leaves, twigs, and roots seemed to grab for my feet. A far cry from the smooth wooden walkways that even my sturdiest pair of boots were made for. I wished I could have grabbed a pair truly meant for this, but that might have given away my plans to Daisy.
As I ducked under large flat leaves I wondered how far they'd entertain her this time.
No doubt Daisy was already in a tizzy. I had told her I was going to run out and see Leaf before his first shift. That had been a good couple of hours ago at this point. So she was probably on her way to hunt Leaf down. She'll sob to him when she does find him without me.
Leaf will escort her to the captain most likely. Hopefully he won't stop his shift to go on a fruitless butterfly chase looking for me in the Hive. Daisy will escalate it to the captain anyway.
After that I wasn't sure what would happen. It wasn't like fairies were forced to stay in the Hive or anything, they just did because it was the safest option. And I am an adult even if I don't have any wings, so I should be allowed to go as I please.
But Daisy thought otherwise, and the others had never been vocal about disagreeing with her. The Hive seemed content in letting her do what she wanted with her wingless offspring so that wasn't likely to change now.
A fat, cold, raindrop hit me square on the head. Knocked me out of my thoughts and almost off of my feet.
I gritted my teeth as to not curse the rain. It was the reason I was able to do this. The rain and wind not only gave me cover, but would keep any potential search parties at bay for awhile. So I should stay thankful.
Another drop landed close by in a puddle, splashing me with water.
As I swallowed down more curses I realized the puddle was more like a stream cutting through the underbrush.
But certainly not a natural one. It was very straight with no winding bends. As well as narrow but quite deep.
I drew closer to investigate. It couldn't be…
Indeed it was a wagon rut. Just beyond it was a stretch of empty ground with nothing but exposed stones and a few fast growing plants. At the other side I could just barely see another rut filling with water.
A giant's path. But so close to the Hive? And one that saw regular use of their contraptions! It was much too deep within the wilderness for something like this.
I jumped over the rut to the rocky wasteland. While the stones were slick here, the lack of plants did make it easier to walk. As much as I didn't want to give giants such credit.
Rain slapped the ground all around me. The clouds were starting to rumble.
My ears twitched. Had that been voices?
Just barely over the rain was grumbling that was sounding less like the clouds the more I listened. More like one or two deep voices.
Storm spirits? This rain was going longer then I thought it was going to. If a couple of spirits were riding along with they'd make it more intense by default.
"Hello?" I called out.
No one answered, the voices didn't pause in their rumblings to each other.
I debated trying again. Spirits were fickle things, they might rather drown me then easing up the storm.
Then I noticed I had a shadow again. The sky was still choked on clouds but some light was now able to cast a shadow on me.
A great many stones crunched and turned behind me.
I turned and was blinded by a light. After a moment I realized it wasn't the sun peaking through.
Two dark shapes stood behind the light. They towered over me but were far too small to be trees. One shifted, and a dark shape moved past the light.
A hand.
I turned sharply. Too sharply, my feet slipped against the stones and I fell to the ground.
My hands burned as grains of dirt cut into them as I tried to claw myself up.
Then several large objects, fingers they were fingers, enveloped me.
I squirmed against the rough skin. Was it even skin? It felt like fabric.
After enveloping me, the hand lifted me higher and higher.
Squirming like a poked caterpillar, I slipped right out of the soaked glove.
Rain drops kept pace with me as I plummeted to the ground. Or maybe time had just slowed down.
My back made contact with the stony ground.
I've read books where the character gets the wind knocked out of them and the ordeal takes about two sentences. They get hit, they gasp for air, and then they're back at it. I probably should have known that wasn't really how it goes.
Air just seemed to stop existing upon impact. There was none in my lungs. My mouth hung open but I couldn't even tell if I was trying to breath. Everything felt tense but I felt no pain. My body couldn't move but my mind ran wondering if I'd just suffocate. Yet I wasn't dying apparently. Nothing was happening.
Then air was suddenly swooping into my lungs and everything started back up.
My body shoved itself up as I gasped desperately. I realized that had been what I was trying to do the whole time.
"Gods dammit Ryan." rumbled a voice above.
I had forgotten about the giants.
Another hand came at me.
It hit me like a wall. Shoving me across the stones while somehow not crushing me into them. Eventually I was all but thrown, landing into something with a clank.
There was a click as I tried to get my bearings.
The world around me seemed distorted now. It took me a moment to realize I was looking through rain covered glass. I sat on a cold metal floor. A lantern.
Once again I was raised up and up into the air until I was level with the lantern that was lit.
Now that I was about face level with them and had lighting, I could see the giants.
They were both human men with worn rugged appearances. The one holding the lantern I was in looked older and more jagged. While the other one looked younger and had a vacantly stupid look in his eyes.
"We're taking this back to base?" said Stupid.
"Yes." barked Old. "Need to get something out of this blasted trip. "
Stupid looked critically at me. "You sure about that? It's got no wings."
Old made a dismissive noise "A fairy is a fairy, let's just get the hell out of this rain."
The lantern began rocking as the humans walked. I pressed my back into one of the corners and braced my arms and legs. Rain smacked loudly against the glass but I could still hear the humans bickering about nothing above it.
I felt dizzy and not just from all the movement. How did this all go so wrong so fast?
A little voice in my head spoke "You should have know better Echo." It sounded like Daisy.
"But how could I have possibly planned for this!" I raged internally "No one in that damn Hive had any idea about a human path so close!"
I tried to stop these thoughts but something about how the lantern swung and the rain hitting the glass kept them swirling in my head. All I could think about was Daisy's lectures and thinly veiled mockings. The fight's we'd have over stupid things she'd blow out of proportion. How Leaf would witness these but tell me "well she's your mom" whenever I tried to vent too much.
They made me almost wish they humans had just squished me.
#g/t#g/t ocs#g/t writing#g/t whump#giant/tiny#giant/tiny writing#g/t angst#echoing whispers#my stuff#g/t story#oc echo#oc whisper
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I stopped liveblogging Hurricane Milton somewhere around the eye, because there was too much going on, but I do want to write it down for my own sake, so here we go:
______________________________________________________
So the eye had come and gone. My wind chimes began to chime again, heralding the return of the wind, and soon the storm was as strong as it had been before, shrieking through the trees and making deep bass noises as it pushed against our apartment building.
We'd been spared the worst of the noise during the first part of the storm, because the wind had been buffeting the opposite side of the building, blowing from SE. The wind had been so strong then that it blew the rain into my neighbors' apartments in a steady stream around the edges of their tightly closed windows and doors. Now, the wind had shifted to come from the NW, and was forcing its way around our doors.
There was an ominous scraping noise. It was completely dark outside the window — no moon, no stars, no streetlights, only the sporadic green flare of exploding transformers. Inside the apartment wasn't much brighter. We couldn't see what was causing the sound, but Little Sister thought maybe the patio screen had been ripped off, staple by staple. The wind got louder and louder. A frantic knocking sounded at the door — it was our upstairs neighbor Bea and her eight-week-old puppy.
We ushered her in. She was apologetic about coming, but said she had wanted to get downstairs because "the wind was starting to sound tornado-y." I was glad she'd come, because I'd offered our downstairs apartment as a tornado shelter before, and also because the conversation was a welcome distraction from the wind. Sister was glad she'd come because she likes puppies. We talked and watched the transformers blow up for a while. There were so many of them... it was a little like that scene in Lilo and Stitch, when Stitch crash lands and the sky pulses with green light and Lilo thinks it's a shooting star. It was like a hundred experiment 626's crash-landed on Earth that night.
Something went Boom! and shook the building.
I was sure a tree had fallen on something or someone. We ran into the hall to see if everyone was okay. Almost everyone else was in the hall too, trying to figure out what caused the boom. One neighbor wasn't answering her door. She's an older lady, and she's starting to have some memory problems. She seemed the most nervous about the storm. We knocked on her door multiple times. I was afraid that maybe she'd had a medical emergency in there, but I couldn't just break into my neighbor's apartment to see if she'd had a heart attack or been squished by an oak tree or something. Another neighbor, Tea thought maybe Elder Neighbor was asleep and decided to text her.
Bea was worried because when she'd grabbed the puppy and ran, she’d been in such a hurry that she'd forgotten to blow out her candles, and she didn't want to leave live fire unattended with cats. I asked if she wanted to bring the cats down too, but she said they were hiding and we probably wouldn't be able to get them out. She also apparently had a fish tank she'd left on her balcony, tucked behind a wall, that she no longer thought was safe.
Was I incredulous that Bea had left anything, let alone living creatures, outside during a hurricane? Yes. Do I think this was irresponsible? Yes. But Bea had just driven home from Georgia the day before and was taking care of a new 8-week-old, so I’m trying not to judge.
So me, Bea, Little Sister and Baby Puppy all climb the stairs to Bea's apartment, carrying flashlights and solar lanterns, and then Bea does the unthinkable. She does the thing you're not supposed to do.
She opens a door during a hurricane.
She slides open the sliding glass door to her balcony in the middle of the eyewall, and goes outside to grab her fishtank.
Earlier that day, I had learned about a different neighbor, in a different building, during a different hurricane, who once opened a door into the storm; the wind ripped the door off it's hinges and put it in a tree.
Bea goes out into the hurricane, picks up her fish tank, and carries it in, while my sister and I stand ready to slide the door shut the moment she's back inside. And we do shut it, but this stupid balcony curtain is in the way, and it's blocking the latch. We have to crack open the door again and again, and try to push the curtain back out, but the wind is a sustained 80mph, and even with both of us we cannot force the curtain to stay outside, so we get it away from the latch and slam the door shut with half the curtain poking through. But it latches, so that's that.
That’s about when the gutter finally snapped free of it's moorings, and started flapping around outside Bea's balcony like a 40 foot metal kite. I took a picture, Bea blew out her candles, and we went back down to my unit.
The partially-ripped-off gutter was long enough to be seen from my floor, so we sat in the living room and watched the gutter flap and the transformers blow for a while, all the while hoping the gutter wouldn’t punch a hole in either someone’s windshield or my patio door. Eventually, Bea decided that the wind had gone down enough, and she went home.
I kept watching the window from the couch, and Little Sister did the same from the floor, where she was soothing her pets: Cat did not like being in the carrier one bit. Rabbit was eating hay like it was just another Wednesday. The gutter broke away and disappeared.
More transformers lit up the horizon, mostly green, some purple. One transformer was very very close when it blew out, somewhere behind us; it didn’t just light the sky, it temporarily illuminated all the other buildings in the apartment. The gutter blew back towards us, dragging along the sidewalk. It went back and forth several times before being caught underneath some cars in the parking lot.
Another transformer blew, and this one was different. This one was orange. This one didn’t go out after a few seconds, or half a minute tops. This orange glow on the horizon flickered.
Something was on fire. Something close. Across the street, maybe.
We were in the south side of the storm at this point, which for Hurricane Milton happened to be the dry side. So it was very windy and relatively dry and something was on fire.
We couldn’t go outside to see, and even if we called someone, no emergency departments would be responding to anything for several hours, so we just watched to see if it would spread.
Whatever was on fire stopped being on fire. Hallelujah.
The wind was still fucken wimdy, but I was dead tired at this point. It was sometime past midnight. Little Sister was staying up with the animals until she felt safe to let them out of their carriers, so we agreed that she would keep watch, and when she was ready to sleep, if things still seemed dangerous she would wake me up.
That’s more or less it. The winds died down. The sun rose.
Me, my sister, and all our neighbors all went outside at about the same time, dawn, to look at the damage. By 7:30, we’d cleared all the branches from the entry road, in time for the first evacuee to return home.
(Eldest neighbor was fine; she was sleeping. I still don’t know how she slept through all that.)
#juniper blethers#hurricane milton#Live blogging Milton#not really live blogging but that;s the tag I used for the rest of it so#by the way I recognize that we got SO lucky in this storm#like it was scary but we only lost all our perishable food and electricity and water (temporarily).#one of my current neighbors had to be rescued by boat from her house when it flooded in a previous hurricane
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's that time again, and I don't know what to say.
I'm here because I'm here. As I wrote last time, it's clear that I'm on Tumblr to stay, even if I abandon other social media sites. I took a sorta hiatus from Xitter this last week, because I had my first meatspace social engagement in months and because I'd just gotten into a fight with one of the only people I actually interact with over there, and I really don't feel like I'm missing anything. I really might quit using it this year, but Tumblr is a different story.
But I don't know what to write about, even so.
When I wrote the last milestone, my dad had just crested the peak of his post-stroke health, and still doing well enough that I thought he might actually beat the cancer. It killed him, not two months later. Did I ever explicitly talk about that on here? I don't recall. I did, back on Xitter. I took a week off the site after that happened, too.
Then Mom got sick, right before the family reunion in May, and ended up in the hospital three separate times. She's still not well, now on second- and third-order consequences of the original thing. So I came back to Kansas City, and I've been here all summer, again.
All told, the last 18 months or so I've simply felt like I have no real control over my life. Using the singular feels wrong; I have two lives, the good one back home and the bad one here, and basically no control over which one I'll be living at any given time. Everything hinges upon the biology of another human being, both cases one which I have only the most limited power to influence to take the actions that maximize future utility for either of us.
It's soul-crushing precisely because it's nothing new. I consider my 20s a lost decade because almost all of it was spent on dealing with my family's irrationalities and incapacities, instead of building the career which they spent so many years encouraging me to pursue. The pandemic didn't help and inviting a literal Randian parasite into the house towards end definitely didn't help. Since this latest round kicked off right before my birthday, my 30s aren't exactly off to a great start, either.
The nine months or so between taking my current job and Dad's stroke were, in retrospect, probably the best of my adult life. I thought the bullshit was behind me, and we'd finally get to have the sort of relationship I always wanted with my parents, and which I figured they wanted with me. We never got to experience that. Everything reverted to the mean and now I just feel hopeless. Will I get to live while either of them still does? With every miserable month that passes it seems less and less likely.
Compare the 27,000 post to this one. So full of optimism by comparison. (Don't believe what anyone says: I'm an insufferable optimist by nature. I expect things to go right the first time. Then they don't. Expecting the worst is a strategy that leaves me less disappointed when the actual results are significantly worse than whatever I imagined the minimum could possibly be.) Not even two years ago, and despite recognizing my own hand it almost feels like a different person must have written it. As I keep having to tell people, when I took this job I had two healthy parents. Now I can barely contribute to my team, because I'm just...exhausted. There's nothing left in the tank.
Maybe it gets better. That's happened before. But it's never stayed better remotely long enough for me to recover. The tank is dry and there's no reason to expect it'll get to refill. Outside view is great and all, but after so much pointless pain I can't make myself believe it, not where it counts.
If that day does ever come, maybe then I'll finally leave Tumblr like I almost managed in late '22 and early '23. Until then, I'll be here, sharing my small scraps of sanity with this insane world. It's not like there's anything else to do while I'm waiting.
#milestone post#29000th post#posting this one late at night because i stayed up too late (one of many ways i haven't felt remotely in control) and so fewer people see i
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
im quitting smut & everything nsfw!!
like straight up, cold-turkey, quitting. so far, we're 20 hours in.
heres why
this is gonna get REALLLL personal, buckle in.
i know not many ppl will see this, but its nice to just get it out.
tw: online sexual grooming and me being a minor thru it all
basically, im gonna talk abt how this all started (i should REALLY be doing homework right now, but i need to get it off my chest, and i only have 1 assignment left)
please bear with me! i only recently remembered all of this, and most of it is still terribly foggy, and hopefully shall stay that way.
when i was 8, i entered into a friendship with a 26-year-old man on roblox. we met thru our mutual like for percy jackson & the olympians, and i met him on a pjo role-playing game on roblox. mind you, roblox filter about 8 years ago was almost nonexistent.
the man, sam (found this out years into my "relationship" w him, to me he was cookie [cookieflame546]), asked my age when i first met him. i knew about stranger danger, obviously i did, i was born a girl. but i gave him my age anyway. so he knew.
this relationship lasted 5 years. 8 years old to 13 years old.
it started okay! we'd roleplay together, nothing too bad! the real trouble began when one of my ocs went into a romantic relationship with one of his ocs. he asked me if i knew anything about sex (the deed, the dirty, the devils tango, he called it something else that i dont remember) and i said no. obviously i didnt, i was 8.
he offered to teach me stuff, and i said ok. i trusted him for some reason. (NO GIRL STOPPP)
and boy. BOY, did he teach me stuff.
he bought a private server JUST to have sex w me. i'd go online, roleplay a little with my other online friends (who were my age, maybe 1 or 2 years older), and then once sam got on, i'd go to the private server. it happened maybe three times a week, i think? we'd roleplay w other people normally most of the time. i got discord at 10, because he asked me to.
when it started getting really, really, actually terrible (more than it already was) was when i got into the hamilton fandom in 2020. (also, since covid was happening, i was on everyday, so we interacted a lot more)
"kal, y is hamilton important?" well, when i got into hamilton, i got into wattpad. when i got into wattpad, i got into smut. when i got into smut, i got into actual fucking porn. at the ripe age of 12 years old.
i was so proud of my newfound knowledge. i wanted to show him all i knew. the sex got worse. he'd find ways to bypass the increasingly strong filter, and so would i.
the only thing im glad for is that he never sent nsfw pics, and neither did i.
it started tapering off once i got into 8th grade. i had more homework, i couldnt be on as much. we still had those little sessions, but they were more infrequent.
(BUT, in his place, came another friend. his name is alex. hes a year older than me, and we roleplayed almost exclusively sexually together. outside of roleplay, we would also message sexually on discord. some of got disturbing when i look back on it [he said he would find my address, climb into my window, and fuck me. bro i am 12 years old]
me and alex fell out of contact for a long time [something something i used to be really homophobic and our entire friendgroup, excluding him and i, was queer]. we say hi hello when hes online on discord, but we dont talk anymore)
slowly, me and sam went back into a regular friendship. we didn't talk for months, other than the occasional hi, hello, hru, im good. i stopped roleplaying, he didnt.
and then my brain decided "yooooo wait this was kinda bad.......im gonna make them forget it >:]"
and i did! i forgot about it. and then in freshmen year, at a winter camp for school, it all came rushing back. i cried about it to one of my closest friends (they moved, but we still talk. if ur seeing this joey [ur prob not], the second im 18 we r gonna see each other istg!!!!), and they told me to block him. i did.
i havent spoken to him since.
and then my brain did another little silly and said "im gonna make them forget it again!! >:]"
and guess what! i forgot about it again.
until i sat by myself, just having finished a brutal smut fic, crying, because, man, why the fuck was i like this? why cant i stop reading and watching and looking at this horrible shit? because it was ruining me! it really was! (it still is, but we're working on it)
andddddddd it came rushing back again.
finally, an answer! thats why im like this!
my most formative years were filled with sex! thats why im obsessed with it!
i know im partly to blame. i enabled myself by actively looking for nsfw. but im trying to fix that.
thank u for ur time :]
#mental health#healing#self awareness#new beginnings#getting over it#by god i will defeat this addiction!#mark my words!!!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
a story as endless as the ocean
the lightning thief
0.1 kronos ate the kids
warnings : kronos... eating his kids
word count : 3.7k

0.1 kronos ate the kids... yummy ( ? )
-- sixteen years later
In the absence of the sun, the day could've been observed as night as dark storm clouds gathered overhead. I was glad I'd checked the weather before getting on my motorcycle— I would just barely miss getting caught in the storm.
Normally, in New York City, you only drove yourself places if you were one of two things: rich or stupid (although, to be honest, it's astounding how often those two things coincide). The traffic of Manhattan is unbearable, but if you're that much of a show off, and you really want people looking at your car, you drive. However, while I did fall under the "rich" category (thank you random casting agent in Central Park when I was 2... I guess?), I wasn't driving because I wanted people to see the Harley my mom had gotten me for my 16th birthday the August before. Being entirely honest, I just needed a break, and sometimes yelling at people about how awful their driving is can be very therapeutic.
But the clouds unsettled me in a way that I couldn't explain. A way that had me shuffling on my Harley and shifting my weight much more than my ADHD would normally have made me do. The weather had been off since I'd come back from Philly in December, so I was almost used to it at that point, but it was like a sandbag had burst open in the pit of my stomach, letting all of the particles of sand spill out, every time I looked up at the sky.
Still, there was no use complaining about the weather. If anything, I should've been complaining about the fact that I was still in the exact same spot I was ten minutes ago. Sometimes the City That Never Sleeps is really a pain in the ass.
Danny was going to give me a real hard talking to if I was late for this field trip. It was supposed to be to some Greek and Roman history museum in Brooklyn, but most people weren't going to learn— they were going because it got them out of class. We only had a few weeks left of school, but Christ if we all didn't want the year to end sooner rather than later. And Danny only wanted me to go because of a role I'd recently gotten playing a Spartan queen, Aerlla, as though me knowing more about Greek mythology was going to win me another Oscar.
I gave a sigh of relief as my next few turns weren't nearly as crowded. A bit of the traffic finally thinned out, so getting to school was much less difficult. Technically, with it being a boarding school and all, we weren't allowed to have our cars here. They figured we'd all try to leave and never come back if that were the case. It was only with a little extra money that I was allowed to be able to travel. No one else really got that privilege.
Luck seemed to be on my side that day and I got back to the school just as they were loading the bus for us to go on our senior's (which was a whole story in and of itself, as I was supposed to be a sophomore. Thank God for online classes) end of the year field trip. While it might be the most boring thing you've ever heard of (yes, I thought that at first, too), Mr. Brunner, the coolest teacher I've ever had, was supposed to be chaperoning all of us.
My luck ran out right after that, though, once I noticed our other chaperone was my insufferable AP calculus teacher from Georgia. She came to our school right after our first calc teacher had a nervous breakdown. She always wore a faux leather jacket and, although she was fifty, she looked like she'd drive my Harley into someone's locker whenever she wanted.
"Allie, there you are! I was beginning to think you wouldn't make it on time," my friend, Grover, called as soon as I took my helmet off. I saw Mr. Brunner check my name off of the roll call list from beside Grover.
Grimacing as I realized I wouldn't have time to run by my room to put my helmet up and therefore would have to take it with me, I replied, "We wouldn't be in New York if I wasn't almost late."
We both boarded the bus, Mr. Brunner giving me a small smile as I passed, and luckily got a seat together. Much to my chagrin, however, it was right in front of the resident douche and pain in the ass himself: Nathan Bobofit. He gave me a gross smile and I could only just keep myself from getting up and bolting as the bus started moving.
My teeth clenched together as Nathan reached around the back of my seat to grab my arm. "C'mon, Jackson, my lap's a whole lot more comfortable than sitting next to that weirdo."
I jerked my arm out of his hand as he tried pulling me up. "Don't fucking touch me," I snapped scathingly as I tried scooting as far away from him as I could.
I'd had my share of rejecting him, but God if he wasn't persistent. And gross. Really, really gross. It was sad to say, but I was used to it. People on the internet don't exactly hold back either. And being an actress and model with a big following... yeah, not the best mix. People are creepy, I've learned that lesson many times.
"I'm gonna fucking kill him this time. I swear to God, I'm not kidding," I grumbled as I felt Nathan's knee pressing into my seat, just enough for me to be able to feel.
"Don't. Allie, these are the last few weeks you have to be in high school. If you get expelled now, you won't be able to go to Columbia next year and you'll be repeating your senior year at a different school. Just get through this, a few more weeks, and you're in the clear," Grover warned me. I huffed and leaned back, grumbling a 'whatever' to keep him satisfied.
To be fair, he was right. Danny, my manager, would've been pissed at me if I managed to get expelled in my last semester of high school. He'd already done so much so I could graduate early and figure out a schedule for me to be able to go to some classes in person and finish the rest online. With how much time and effort he'd put into helping me get a good education, I'd hate to throw it all away because I couldn't keep my temper in check.
And I'd hate for TMZ and all the other awful news outlets to get word of me having got expelled because I fought someone. God, I shudder to think of the fire that the media would light under my ass. Though, I thought, maybe if they figured out why, at least Twitter would be on my side.
I was happy the trip was fairly short. I could only go so long ignoring the painfully obvious and gross comments about my body by the boys behind me. Grover and one of my cheerleader friends, Ivy, made sure they got directly behind me so Nathan couldn't. He'd been known to try things when left behind me and today I'd made a mistake by wearing a skirt. As we unloaded the bus, Mr. Brunner got us checked in and led the museum tour.
Mr. Brunner was your average middle-aged guy, except for the wheelchair he had to be in wherever he went. It was a well-known joke for everyone around the school to try and guess why he had to use it. As far as we knew, no one was correct. Mainly because no one has enough courage to ask him. Popular theory was that he got stabbed during one of his sword demonstrations and accidentally got hurt.
He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery. It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for over two thousand or three thousand years.
He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top and us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, Mrs. Dodds would give me the evil eye.
Finally, I got fed up, my patience run too thin, and I snapped, "will you shut up?" at Nathan, the loudest of them all. And though I had turned towards Nathan, Mr. Brunner had stopped talking and I could tell he was looking directly at me. I could also hear a few stifled giggles coming for the rest of the senior class.
"Miss Jackson, did you have a comment?" I turned back towards him and noticed his amused expression.
"No, sir," I replied, trying to keep a blush from coming to my face.
"Do you mind telling us what this picture represents?" He asked, gesturing towards a carving right beside him. I let out an internal breath of relief. Thank God it was something I recognized.
"That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"
"Yes," he frowned, and I knew he was going to ask for a better explanation. "And he did this because..."
"Kronos was the King of the Titans and he didn't trust his kids, the gods, because there was a prophecy he heard that said they would overthrow him and lead the world themselves. So he ate them. Except, his wife, Rhea hid baby Zeus and gave Kronos and rock dressed in baby clothes to eat instead. Once Zeus grew up, Rhea gave Kronos a mixture of wine and mustard so he would throw up the rest of his children." There were a few disgusted outbursts at this. "Since they were immortal, they had been growing in Kronos' stomach the same way they would have. So then there was a long war between the gods and the titans and the gods ended up winning."
I heard a scoff from beside me. "This is so stupid. It's not like our job applications are gonna have 'why did Kronos eat his children' as a question you have to answer correctly to get hired," Nathan stage whispered to his friends. They snickered in response.
"And why, Miss Jackson," Mr. Brunner said, "to paraphrase Mr. Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"
I sighed and racked my brain for at least a semi-logical explanation, because truthfully, I couldn't think of one. "There's always something that you can learn from history and myths passed down by generations. By listening to the stories, you can ensure you won't make the same mistakes— in this case, you learn not to let your own paranoia control you?"
He tilted his head as if debating whether or not my answer satisfied what he was looking for. He finally came to a conclusion. "Not quite the answer I was looking for, but full credit all the same. Your explanation was wonderfully done, Miss Jackson. After Kronos' children were released from his stomach, the gods teamed up together to overthrow their father. And they did so by cutting him into little pieces with his own scythe. Now on that happy note, Mrs. Dodds, could you escort us outside for lunch?"
I speed-walked out of there, Grover in tow, before Mr. Brunner could call me back in. If he needed to say something super important he could tell me outside, but I wasn't in the mood to get lectured right at that moment.
We all gathered in various groups on the steps of the museum. We were positioned in a way that would allow us to watch the traffic on Fifth Avenue. The weather still worried me as the clouds had only gotten darker, but I forced myself to ignore it once I noticed no one else was paying attention to it.
Most of the girls were gossiping in groups, most likely talking about how Gabby hooked up with a boy in our class, Tate Dare. I'd heard the story a million times— I didn't need the story again.
Being famous did have one major perk: everyone wanted to be my friend, which in turn allowed me to know all of the school's gossip before almost everyone else. The boys were trying— and failing— to pickpocket a few tourists who'd stopped in front of the museum to take pictures. Of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.
I threw my head to the side, a gesture telling Grover to follow me to the fountain a little ways away, trying very hard to make it seem like we weren't part of the slightly-psycho group of teens.
"Since you're my main source of news, what's going on school-wise?" Grover asked me once we'd gotten comfortable on the fountain.
I shrugged. "Gabby, you know— the Gabriella who's on the cheer team with me— hooked up with Tate Dare. Lindsay Greene might be getting suspended for vaping in the bathrooms, but that's up in the air right now considering her daddy's a teacher. Uh... oh! Victor Ryles failed a drug test, so he can't try out for any sports next year. That's it, I think?"
"Why do you know all of this? And can I have your apple?"
I handed it to him and smirked. "Most people like me— well, they like my 'status' at the very least. If I want to know the gossip, they give me the gossip."
Grover and I laughed and he was about to say something else but was cut off by Nathan 'tripping' over a crack in the sidewalk and tossing his food right on Gover's lap.
"Oops. I got a little distracted by your beautiful eyes, Allie," he said in a faux British accent, his friends snickering behind him.
The look on his face just made me angrier and he reached out to touch my face, but never got the chance. One moment he was in front of me, the next he was sitting on his ass in the fountain, spitting out water and a few coins. The weirdest part was the whispers.
"Did you see—"
"— The water—"
"— Like it grabbed him!"
I clenched my teeth as I glared at him. I would've loved to say something super badass, and the words were on the tip of my tongue, but a strong grip on my arm kept me from saying it. I turned my glare to Mrs. Dodds, who was staring at me with the most triumphant expression. She looked as if she'd been waiting for this moment all semester.
"Now, honey—" she said, using the nickname that never failed to enrage me.
I rolled my eyes and interrupted her despite the situation I had put myself in. "Oh, whatever! What's my punishment going to be? See how long I can go without eating?" I snapped.
That apparently wasn't the correct thing to say. The triumphant fire in her eyes only burned brighter.
"Come with me."
"Wait!" Grover said, trying to force himself in between Mrs. Dodds and me, giving me a why-the-FUCK-would-you-say-something-like-that look. "It was me, I pushed him."
It wasn't the most believable lie in the world, especially considering I had much more muscle than him and it was very obvious he wouldn't have been able to push Nathan into the fountain.
Because of the roles I'd done, I had to learn a whole bunch of shit I'd never use again, which include, but are not limited to, sword fighting, hitting many bullseyes with a bow and arrow, and lots of hand-to-hand fighting. From the weight training classes I take, I can bench press about 160 pounds, give or take, and cheerleading makes throw myself upside down while spinning. Grover looked like a twig compared to me (still love you, though, Grover).
"I don't think so. Miss Jackson will come with me, and you can stay right here."
She didn't have to try hard to scare Grover, considering she already terrified him. He gave a small and stiff nod and looked at me petrified.
"Thanks for trying, G," I whispered.
He just stood paralyzed and kept glancing between Mr. Brunner and Mrs. Dodds, who was already at the front door.
Wait, what? How did she get there so fast? I shook my head and walked after her.
"Don't die in there, Jackson! Me and my friends still want to fuck you before we graduate! How about Thursday?" Nathan yelled at my turned back.
I turned, gave him my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare and a middle finger, then continued walking.
At first, I thought she was just going to make me buy Nathan a new t-shirt at the gift shop, but that didn't seem to be the case. Mrs. Dodds kept walking until we'd made it back to the Greek statues and paintings section.
She crossed her arms with her back turned towards me until I'd gotten close enough. When she turned, I stopped walking.
"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said after a few moments of silence.
At first, I thought she was mentioning all the random times paparazzi would show up at the front steps of Yancy Acadamy and demand my picture, but something told me that wasn't it. I decided to go for the safest option and chose to be polite.
"Yes... ma'am?"
She started making a sound from the back of her throat, almost like growling. She tugged on the cuffs of her jacket. "Did you really think you were going to get away with it?"
I furrowed my eyebrows. The only thing I could think was, what the hell? The fire grew brighter. She looked beyond mad; she looked evil. "I'll... it won't happen again... ma'am," I shot out, saying the first response that came to mind.
Thunder shook the building.
"We aren't fools, Astraea Jackson."
I flinched at the use of my real name. Virtually no one knew it, only my mother, the principal, and my manager. And usually it was because I was in trouble. I didn't like the way it rolled off her tongue.
"It was only a matter of time before you were caught. Confess to what you've done and I might choose to be merciful."
"Okay, time for a pause. What am I even confessing to? What the hell did I do that was so—"
"Time's up!"
And with that, she started changing. Her eyes turned red, her fingernails grew into talons, and her leather jacket started melting and turning into wings.
"Holy shit!" I screamed, scrambling back a few steps as she shot into the air. Thunder rumbled again.
"Allie!"
My eyes didn't shift from the winged-bat-creature-thing my calculus teacher had just turned into, but my mind registered that it was Mr. Brunner's voice. I stepped back and turned and barely had a second to catch the sword flying towards me. Once I had it in my hands I turned back towards Mrs. Dodds, who was flying overhead like a vulture.
Finally, she swooped down for the kill and I got into the stance my instructor made me do thousands of times over. Once she got close, I didn't feel any fear. It's just like a prop, do what you're supposed to and you won't get hit.
My body did the only thing that came naturally; I swung the sword.
She'd flown down in the perfect position, and the sword hit her left shoulder and passed through all the way to her right hip. She burst into a yellow powder and vaporized on the spot, leaving only the smell of sulfur and an uneasy vibe in the air.
I didn't register the sword falling out of my hand, only the overwhelming desire to get back to my group. I felt like throwing up and like an awful migraine was about to hit.
When the doors were in my sight, I sprinted the rest of the way and almost ripped the doors off their hinges to get out of there. Grover met me halfway down the steps and started to say something, but I just shook my head. I felt like I was about to pass out from the pain in my head, so there was no way I could've explained anything that had just happened to Grover.
Just as I got off the last step, Nathan intercepted my path. "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your ass, bitch. Would've gotten you prepared for the main course," he said, still dripping from his swim in the fountain.
I was about to punch his lights out, but a piercing whistle cut through the storm, re-irritating my migraine. I cried out in pain, clutching my head. I settled for shoulder-checking past him, leaving him to follow in Grover and my tracks.
Mr. Brunner gave me a concerned look as I boarded the bus, but he didn't say anything to me. Once I got to my seat I pulled a Gucci hoodie out of my bag and threw the hood over my head. Grover sat down as I was searching for some ibuprofen. I relaxed as I found it and dry swallowed three pills.
"You okay, Allie?"
I shook my head. "Migraine," I muttered and our conversation ended there. The storm raged worse and the entire bus was silent as lightning cracked across the sky and thunder quickly followed.
* * *
previous | next
SERIES M.LIST | MAIN M.LIST | TIPS
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm feeling very, very jittery and very, very chatty so I'm just gonna take some time to gush about my girlfriend because she's absolutely wonderful. click below if you want to hear a lesbian be sappy about her girlfriend because I'm just. So lucky.
So I've been lucky enough to be dating J for almost 2 years now.
We started dating on August 4, 2022. At this point, we'd been roommates for a year already. I'd known I had a crush on her since December, but had convinced myself that it was just a temporary thing. And also something that I needed to get over because at the time she was very anti-marriage due to personal reasons that I'm not going to get into.
We had been doing the whole long distance friendship thing that summer due to the fact that our hometowns are 4 hours apart. I had convinced myself that time away from her was going to make my little crush go away. If anything, it only made it worse. We were doing all kinds of phone calls and FaceTime calls. There were a couple of times that we had one day that lined up so one of us got up super early to make the 4 hour drive to the other's town just to spend the day together for the day and then make the 4 hour drive back that night.
None of this was helpful for my little crush. In fact, it made me convince myself that mayhaps she liked me back.
On one of my visits to her town, I had nearly convinced myself to confess my feelings to her. I made a joke about one of my friends joking about her being my girlfriend, something that had been a recurring joke for a while now with that friend. That friend is TBH the reason we got together, but we're not gonna talk about that.
She admitted that she had a crush on one of her friends from high school, crushing my little heart just a little bit.
However, she was still acting the same. We fell asleep on FaceTime. She got better and better at texting just so she could talk to me. No one else (even to this day) gets as good of a response time from her as I did/do. My friend finally convinced me to confess my feelings, so I wrote out a little thing and sent it to the "jury" to have it approved.
I sent it over text. Clearly it wasn't going to happen in person, so I sent it via text.
Still, nothing changed about our relationship. She said she needed time to consider her feelings. I gave her space. It started to feel like teasing. She eventually made another visit to my town. She didn't say anything about it.
A few days later, I was feeling hurt and frustrated. She still hadn't said anything about her feelings towards me, in either direction. She hadn't given me any indication whether there was something there or if I needed to drop it. I asked her to give me an answer one way or the other because I *really* needed to know.
We got on a call. There were a couple of times that I could tell she wanted to say something, but I wasn't going to force it. We fell asleep on that call. Neither of us had anything to do the next day, so we just stayed on the call. Around 1, she finally got the words out. "I think I like you too."
"Shall we make it official then?"
She blushed and did her adorable little smile that I just love so much and nodded. And just like that, it begins.
The next few weeks were a little awkward as we figured out how now being girlfriends changed our relationship. We moved back to our campus, both of us coming earlier than the crowd. Me for band camp, her for auditions. We both tiptoed around each other, nervous to make the move into physical intimacy.
We were watching a stupid Twilight knock-off when I finally got the courage to put my head on her shoulder, which ripped the bandaid off for our physical touch. We started cuddling with every movie night. Eventually, it got to a point that we admitted to each other that we had a hard time getting into bed after movie night because we didn't want to go to our separate beds, so we started sleeping in the same bed.
Eventually, we were playfully kissing each other's faces on the floor of the dorm room that we shared. She stops and says that she wants to kiss me for real. I tell her that I've been dropping hints that that's what I wanted all night long. We shared our first kiss.
I admitted to her that it was my first kiss ever. She asks me if she can kiss me again.
I don't remember how it came up, but I do remember that I was the first one to say I love you, some night curled up snuggling in bed together. She immediately said it back.
We spend our first Thanksgiving together, driving back and forth across the state to make sure that we hit everyone. I meet some of her family (I had met a lot of them on previous visits to her town) and she met the majority of mine. One of my grandma's brothers jokingly asked her to pray, causing her to have a minor freak out because she didn't know how my family would react if she said no.
Christmas break was hard. It was the first time that we had to spend a significant amount of time apart since we'd started dating. We didn't get to spend Christmas together, we didn't get to spend her birthday together.
Coming back to campus, I was a little worried that we would lose all of the progress in our relationship that we'd made before break, but we didn't. We immediately got to talking again, just like normal.
It was the most natural thing in the world.
We had some shenanigans throughout the rest of the semester, and supported each other through some really, really hard times (that was a *bad* semester for both of us). I joined her fraternity that she'd been pestering me about for years.
We start having bigger conversations. Getting married is now on the table. Not immediately, but it now becomes something that is on our minds. I start a google folder to start collecting ideas for it.
I spent the first few days of summer break that year in her town. We had more time to explore than we ever had before, so I really got to know the town a little bit better. We said goodbye, and it was hard. However, we already had lots of plans on the calendar that we could point to and say "hey, that's the next time I get to see you."
We spent our second pride together (first as a couple). She brought her friend who has kind of become our unofficial third wheel (if we are ever hanging out with only one of her friends, it is usually that one). My dad invited her on our San Francisco trip, so she tagged along for that. She ended up staying an extra day after she got back, so we got to explore the city that is closest to me more than we had ever gotten to before.
I had to move back to campus almost a month early, having gotten a job on campus that required me to be at the desk for that time before the school year started. I needed to be there for move-in and such.
We (by pure luck of my new boss being the nicest person ever) got to spend our first anniversary together in her town.
She moved back to campus for a wild ride. It was going to be her last semester on campus. She had her senior recital coming up, and mostly a lot of other lasts.
We were invited to attend a friend of hers' wedding. It was the first wedding either of us had gone to that our parents weren't at. She was an usher/the emcee for the reception, but it still meant that I got a crap ton of time around her that night. I think that put us both in our feels and we both start getting really mushy about the whole thing.
She has her senior recital on the bass trombone. It was over in a flash, but I could not be more proud of her. She did such an amazing job with it, and I could not imagine it going better. It was such a cool experience getting to watch her up there all in her element, doing the thing she loves most in the world. It is the biggest performance of her degree, and she absolutely NAILS it. We also get to hang out with one of my best friends from high school (who drove all the way to our college campus with her boyfriend {who I hadn't met anywhere that wasn't a funeral} just because she also wanted to support J in her recital).
For Thanksgiving break, we start packing up some of J's things. The stuff that she isn't going to need anymore. Anything that we can to make her big move our in December a little easier. We make more trips back and forth across the state to hit everyone. She gets to meet my family from out-of-state and hold a baby for the first time ever in her life.
The first few weeks of December are a mess. I'm trying to get my new major figured out while also staying on top of my incredibly demanding current major and prepping for juries. She is wrapping up loose ends as her time in college comes to an end.
We have the hardest goodbye we've ever had. Once all of her stuff was packed up and ready to head back to her hometown, there was no telling when we would see each other again. We were both going to be busy with work and stuff all of break, and she wouldn't be returning to campus in January.
By luck and luck alone, I had a three-day weekend leading up to New Year's. I texted her mom telling her that I was going to surprise her. By this point, we did have a visit day picked out for her to come visit at school, so I was able to hide my excitement of getting to come surprise her through being excited about that later day.
I knock on her door. She yells that she's not decent. I didn't want to let her know that it was me, so I knock again. She opens the door. Her jaw drops.
I get to officially meet her brother who lives out of the country and his girlfriend who is from the country that he lives in. I get to spend New Year's with them in person instead of via FaceTime in my room. Her friends come over. Her brother's friends come over. We all gather in the living room to watch the ball drop.
I get my first ever New Year's Kiss.
We say goodbye at the end of the weekend, easier knowing that the next time I get to see her is already all planned out. Still hard though.
I move back to campus and prep myself to start in a whole new major where I'm essentially a first year and I do not know *anyone*.
The first visit gets postponed for weather. She starts student teaching. That, too, gets interrupted a lot by the weather. Once the weather calmed down, she made her first visit back to campus and came to visit a meeting in our fraternity to say hello to all of our sisters.
I trudge through a lot of snow. Days that probably should have gotten cancelled due to being cold or icey. But really finding myself in it. Getting myself ready for my spring semester job that inspired me to change my major to begin with. The best job I will ever have.
We have more visits. We have more people pledge into our chapter.
Our spring break ends up lining up perfectly so we spend the entire time together.
We travel a few weeks later to watch the Sonic Symphony. I come to watch her conduct her first concert ever. The kids treat me like I'm a celebrity.
I finish the semester strong, stronger than I've ever had a semester in the history of college.
I get to watch the love of my life walk across the stage for her graduation. She graduates with having the honor of having the highest grades in our chapter. She also walks with the honor of the HIGHEST award that our school offers graduates. Only one person per department gets it. To get it, you have to have high grades and an amazing character. It is a medal that she gets to walk with.
She helps me finish packing up my car. We drive together to her town, which has now become our town as I now live with her.
We have set specific financial goals that we would like to accomplish before we start saving for a wedding. We have set a number to have saved to start wedding planning.
We spent our third pride together, living our absolute best lives.
This August, we will celebrate our 2nd anniversary with her helping me move in because I am now an RA at our college and need to be there early.
I cannot even begin to put words to how lucky I am to have her. She is my absolute world and I don't have a single clue in the world of what I'd do without her. She is my rock, my confident, my everything. She has been there for me when I needed her. She always knows how to make me smile. She makes the every day stuff *fun*. I love getting to run errands with her, plan out our breaks so that we can make sure to visit everyone. We work incredibly well together as a team and we are able to compliment each other incredibly well.
She inspires me to be a better person, because she deserves the absolute best and I want to be the absolute best for her.
She treats me like an absolute princess.
She is the gift that I have been so, so, *so* incredibly lucky to receive.
I love her so very, very much. I'm living in a massive fairytale. There is nothing I could want more than I want to have her by my side for my entire life. I cannot *wait* to get to be married to her and build our entire lives together.
Das us, living our best lives ❤️❤️❤️
#kay speaks#the girlfriend chronicles#kays college adventure#saphic#gaylove#gay love#gaypride#gay pride#lesbian#wlw post#wlw#love story#gay#pride month#queer pride#lgbt pride#happy pride 🌈#lgbtqia#pride 2024#long post#queer love#i love her to death
3 notes
·
View notes