andiv3r-drawing

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one day we're gonna sail off together, just you and me

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OH RIGHT uhhh have a billford

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"If you won't give me the equation, I guess I'll have to have my fun another way."

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⚠️ CONTENT WARNING ⚠️

Below the cut are artistic depictions of and extended discussions of self-harm and physical abuse. If you do not wish to see these topics, please move along.

weird how i seem to be the only one who can see it. i wonder, would it be clearer if the blood were on my own hands?

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Extended thoughts here, not necessary to read them but just considering the correlation between physical abuse in childhood and self-harm.

¹except for the very first incident, which was far more a cry for help than anything

Weird how people think using physical harm as punishment is fine when it's your parents, but suddenly appalling and horrifying when you've learned that the right way to punish yourself for minor mistakes is by ripping up your skin. I recently learned that children who were subjected to physical reprimanding (such as hitting, "spanking", slapping, etc.) as punishment are more likely to turn to self-harm later in life, and it was like something clicked into place in my brain. Of course we do. We're taught from an early age that doing anything bad should result in physical pain. I don't know about others, but for me, self-harm has always¹ been a form of punishing myself when I feel I've either done something wrong or not done something right².

²I can think of many times when I came out of an argument with my mother and, because I wasn't able to explain my side of it in a way that she understood and agreed, wound up reaching for my paperclips to punish myself for being bad at explaining my point of view. Doing something "bad" and doing something not good enough are essentially the same in my mind.

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One specific panel from Lost Legends felt like it was ripping into my heart and soul, so I had to draw it as Gravity Paws.

Panel it's based on under the cut<3

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Made myself a new home & lock screen after realising I've never drawn any stancest art with my gravity paws au, had to remedy that.

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I Just Think He's Neat

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do you, by chance, have any color ideas for bills cat design 0~0

I was gonna wait till later to post this but..

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Lalalalalala @d00medyur1 for tha tea party scene eheheh

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I maked art for the Wonderland Falls (?) (name might change?) AU @d00medyur1 keeps talking to me about

I am. Quite in love with cheshire triangle bill.

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New pfp? 😦

Yep!!

Cygnus <3 in honor of the lore post I'm finally writing for him

+ red alt version for my red themed discord pfp

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Sorry it's been a lot of OC art lately. I'll get back on that stancest and/or billford grind soon, i just... have been thinking about them.

Cygnus² is so fucking. Sssoft. Like. I don't know how to explain but there's so much gentleness because they both know. I'm you and you're me and I know this is hard for you and i know all the parts of your body that you hate and i know you want to be loved.

Anyway I'm crying now 👍 enjoy my boy(s).

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I hit that nerdy scientist man with the transgender beam #ford with tits

Bonus: live bill reaction from the whiteboard. This was my response drawing. Bill just thinks he's neat.

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Keeping to my 2pm art post schedule for now, have a Cygnus!

One day I'm gonna drop all his lore on everybody out of the blue and watch all your minds explode. For now I draw silly doodles of him and let you all Wonder. Except the people in The Group Chat, y'all know.

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My transition timeline is really funny to me because back when I looked like a girl, I wasn't, but now that I look like a guy, I'm actually genderfluid & at least sometimes I Am In Fact a girl. So anyway I drew this.

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No 2pm artpost today, got busy, have this doodle instead.

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Lalalala drew ouppies for @tigersfrom711 eee