#but we will see her healing and becoming happier

[kawaiichibiart]

I think we need to talk about the fact that two of Mafuyu's trained cards depict her as a nurse, but that's the only thing they really have in common.

Because looking at them next to each other, you can really see a difference. And I don't mean design wise or anything like that. I'm very specifically talking about Mafuyu herself.

The first has her tangled in vines and thread. Like she's being held down, wouldn't you agree?? Everything behind her is bright and blending in together. Her uniform is also light (in the trained card). And when you see what it actually looks like, different shades of gray (some with purple tones) it feels clear that she's being affected by thet white light. It gives off the feeling of "This is good. This is good for you. Your clothing are a pristine and light in color. The flowers, leaves and vines are all bright, making them beautiful."

And the way she's sitting looks almost as if she was either forced onto the ground or like she wants to escape but doesn't know how. She's stuck. And again, with the vines and thread, she's being held down. Trapped. And just looking at her face, she looks like she wants to cry. Like she wants to cut/snap those vines and threads holding her down but can't.

But the second? She's so much happier in the second. The room is darker but the lighting still makes it bright. But rather than bright white like the first, it's blue. She's on the ground, but she isn't struggling. She's wearing brighter colors. Her uniform is blue. Like, actually blue. Blue and pink. And considering when this takes place. After she opens up about her feelings. After she runs away. After she tells her dad what she wants and how she feels, and unlike her mom, who tried to guilt and manipulate her, he apologized...

It doesn't surprise me that in her second trained nurse card she looks happy. She looks like things are looking up. Like things can be better. Like maybe she can be who she wants to be. She's on the floor but nothing is tying her down anymore. She isn't struggling anymore.

In short: it looks like she's healing.

[melzula]

Smoke and Shadow

part one

pairings: Zuko x Princess!reader

notes: it’s finally here! hope you guys enjoy this and sorry it took so long! and ofc reminder that reading the comics is suggested for this piece

summary: The Princess decides to pay Zuko a visit only to find the Fire Nation in disarray.

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

Returning home from the Fire Nation always feels bittersweet; you miss your people, but you know that once you’re back in the South the ache of homesickness will be replaced by your longing to be at Zuko’s side. You once thought the end of the war would mean easier days for your relationship, but being the leaders of two different nations seemed to keep you apart more often than it kept you together. Leaving him never got any easier, but you knew in your heart that this was for the best. You had duties to fulfill and people to take care of, so you’d just have to be patient. Things will settle eventually and the distance will become easier, you just have to see it through.

“Do you really have to go? You just got here!” Kiyi complains with a frown as she watches you pack your things and prepare for your return home.

“I’m sorry, Kiyi, but my people need me.“

“Can’t someone else do it?” She retorts, prompting you to let out a small laugh of amusement. She certainly had her older brother’s attitude at times.

“I’m afraid not. I have a tribe to rebuild and students to teach,” you explain to her. “Things don’t run very smoothly when the Chief is away for too long.”

“Will you at least come back and visit me?” The little girl begs, and you can’t really find a way to say no to her when she looks at you with her best pleading eyes. “I want to see more water bending tricks!”

“I promise to come back as soon as I have the time,” you assure her before giving her a tight hug. You’ve grown rather attached to Zuko’s little sister since meeting her, so it’s not easy having to say goodbye.

A gentle knock at your door alerts both you and Kiyi of someone’s presence, but once you see Zuko’s face peeking through the doorway you smile and part from the girl so that she can run out to play in the palace halls. “My love, the ship is ready to leave when you are.”

“I suppose I’m ready,” you sigh with a melancholic smile, melting into Zuko’s touch when he pulls you into his embrace. “It’s going to be hard being away from you.”

“I know,” he comforts while resting his warm hand upon your cool cheek, “but it’s nothing we can’t handle. We’ll be together again soon.”

“I’m already counting down the days,” you profess earnestly, eliciting a soft chuckle from him in return. Rubbing his nose affectionately against your own, Zuko angles his face to reach your lips and press a tender kiss against your own. It’s the last one you’ll be sharing for some time, and he makes sure to savor it for as long as possible. Your kiss is impossibly sweet, your smell of fire lilies intoxicating, and it pains him to have to pull away from you.

“I love you, y/n. I hope you know that.”

You smile before pulling him in for another kiss, enjoying your perfect goodbye.

~~~

A month has passed since you left the Fire Nation, and the South has developed swimmingly. With the help of your sister tribe, the outer villages have slowly begun to transform into cities equipped with new buildings, homes, and even town halls. Progress is steady and your tribe is growing, and it will only be a matter of time before the Southern Water Tribe is restored to its rightful glory.

As your advisor, Hakoda has agreed to oversee the Southern Reconstruction Project so that you may focus on teaching the next generation of water benders with Master Pakku. Your time as Chief is spent either at your school or in your office to approve new construction plans and debrief with Hakoda about the progress of the rebuilding project. You’re as busy as ever, but you couldn’t be any happier.

“Sifu y/n, why do we have to learn about healing?” One of your students complains as you set out the practice mannequins for the children. “I don’t want to heal, I want to fight!”

“Healing is just as important as bending,” you explain thoughtfully. “As a wise woman once told me, ‘You cannot bend something that is broken, but you can heal something that is hurt.’ Some situations require a gentle hand, and it’s important your bending has balance. Healing can save lives, and your gift can be used to help your people.”

“Sifu y/n,” another student says with her hand raised eagerly in the air, “is it true you healed Fire Lord Zuko from a lightning strike?”

“It is,” you reply with a fond smile, laughing at the amazed gasps your students share at the story. “I wouldn’t have been able to save his life if I hadn’t known how to heal, and that’s why it’s important for you all to learn. Now any last questions before we begin?”

A little hand raises into the air and you nod, signaling them to continue. “Do you miss Zuko?”

“Always,” you sigh wistfully, the familiar ache of longing pulling at your heart strings. You wondered what he was doing now and if he was thinking of you in this moment.

After teaching your healing class, you retire to your office for the evening to look over the new construction plans Hakoda has prepared for you. However, your mind seems to be elsewhere for the night as you find yourself repeatedly looking upon the frame on your desk. The night of your coronation you’d had a local artist paint a portrait of Zuko and yourself. You shared the biggest smiles, the two of you adorned in formal water tribe attire for the festivities ahead. It had been a perfect night, and the painting served as a reminder of the wonderful time you’d had together.

Sighing, you look over your schedule for the upcoming week. Nothing too major seems to be taking place, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt if you took a short trip to the Fire Nation to see how Zuko and Kiyi were doing. Hakoda could handle the reconstruction project on his own for a few days, and Pakku could look after your students in your absence.

Grabbing a scroll and a brush, you quickly begin scribbling out a lengthy list of items for Hakoda and Pakku to oversee while you’re gone. It seems your mind is made up, and as soon as your affairs are in order you’ll be using the secret tunnel to travel to the Fire Nation to finally see Zuko again.

~~~

Zuko was exhausted.

Carrying the guilt he felt for his sister’s kidnapping as well as the awkward tension that came with working alongside his ex-girlfriend wasn’t exactly helping him keep his peace. More children were going missing with every night that passed, and it seemed he wasn’t any closer to catching his sister and her group of Kemurikage. A part of him wished it really was spirits tormenting his people instead of his sister, but he figured she’d have to turn up eventually.

“We’ll find them, Zuko,” Mai comforts, carefully resting her hand upon his tense shoulder as he stares down at the array of scrolls scattered across his desk. Various passages about the Kemurikage and information about the men part of the New Ozai Society line the endless papers, and yet none of it has gotten them any closer to figuring out where the missing children or Azula are.

“I hope you’re right,” he murmurs before shifting his gaze to the bush of fire lilies out in the courtyard. It dawns on him then that he hasn’t had the time to write to you lately, and he feels you deserve to know about Kiyi‘s disappearance and Azula’s return. He’s sure you’d know just what to do, just what to say to make him feel better, and he needs the comfort now more than anything. “I should write y/n. She cares for Kiyi just as much as I do, she should know.”

Mai’s mood immediately sours at the mention of the Southern Princess, but she’s able to mask it well enough for Zuko’s sake. Despite being willing to work with her ex-boyfriend to find her missing brother, their past relationship was still a sore subject for her. It’s not exactly easy getting over the fact that the boy you thought was in love with you was really just using you to get over someone else.

Their talk at the Boiling Rock hadn’t given her any real closure, and her encounter with the Princess at the flower shop didn’t leave the greatest impression on the girl. Mai still couldn’t see what was so special about her, and she didn’t understand what kind of future Zuko saw with her. She supposed it didn’t matter what she thought anymore, and it didn’t matter what Zuko did with his life. She was with Kei Lo now, and the Fire Lord was no longer her concern.

“Is writing a letter to your girlfriend really your top priority right now?” She can’t help but to retort sarcastically, prompting Zuko to scowl.

“Y/n could be a great help to us,” he argues defensively. “She views things more clearly than I do at times and keeps me from making rash decisions.“

“So is she your girlfriend or your babysitter?”

“Mai-!”

“I know, I know,” she sighs with a passive wave of her hand. “I’m sorry.”

Frowning, Zuko lets out a quiet breath before turning to meet her gaze. He’s unsure of how to approach such a sensitive subject, but he knows he must if any progress is to be made. “I know you’re still mad at me, and I know no apology will fix the hurt I caused you, but you have to put it behind you if we’re going to work together. Y/n is my girlfriend, and Kei Lo is your boyfriend, so why are things still so awkward between us?”

“It’s not that simple, Zuko,” Mai snaps, a bitter scowl masking her features. “It’s not just that you broke my heart, it’s that I was stupid enough to let you! I should have known I’d never be enough for you, and you talking about her is like throwing salt in the wound. It’s like a constant reminder that I was never good enough for you, that what we had was all just a lie. I never want to feel that way again, but I feel it every time I’m around you. I’m like the pathetic ex-girlfriend you can’t get away from.”

“Mai…”

“I can’t believe I still care about you,” she grumbles sullenly.

“I care for you too,” he insists before gently taking one of her hands in his own. “Maybe not in the way you want me to, but I do. I always have, even when we were children and I pushed you into the fountain to put out that apple on your head. You’re a good friend, and I owe you more than I can ever repay you for what you did at Boiling Rock. Can’t we still be friends?”

Mai is silent, her gaze set firmly upon her hand in his own. The sensation is warm and familiar, comforting, but she knows the hurt that is to come if she agrees to his request. Maybe one day she can learn to love Kei Lo and fill the emptiness, be the one doing the using instead of the one being used, but she can’t accomplish this feat with Zuko in the picture.

The room is quiet and tense, but still she does not remove her hand.

And neither of them notice the figure in the doorway watching the scene unfold.

~~~

You’re surprised to find Zuko’s end of the tunnel blocked off by Fire Nation guards. He hadn’t been expecting you of course, but you didn’t think you’d find the passage closed off like this. What had happened while you were away to promote such a drastic measure?

“Excuse me,” you call gently so as to not startle the guards that face away from you, “I’m here to see Fire Lord Zuko. May I cross?”

“I’m sorry, but no one is allowed in or out of the Capital City,” one guard states gruffly, but his companion waves him off dismissively.

“She’s the Southern Chief and the Fire Lord’s girlfriend,” he explains before gesturing you to continue forward. “I’m sure he wouldn’t be happy to hear we’d blocked his beloved from seeing him.”

“O-Oh, my apologies,” the first guard stutters sheepishly before clearing himself out of your path.

“What’s going on? Why is the Capital City in lockdown?”

“Children of the Fire Nation have been going missing and the people are becoming restless,” he explains. "The Fire Lord wants everyone to stay put until a culprit has been caught and the children are returned safe.”

“How awful,” you murmur quietly before an uneasy feeling begins to hit you. “Have you heard anything of Kiyi, Ursa’s daughter? Is she safe?”

The two guards exchange solemn glances, and that’s all you need to know before immediately rushing towards the palace. If Kiyi is in danger, you want to do everything you can to help Zuko find her and the other missing children before it’s too late. Who knows what danger they could be in?

Your trek to the palace isn’t easy, what with the protests and unrest occurring on the streets as a result of Zuko’s harsh restrictions, but you manage to weave your way through the chaos and make it to your destination. You’re a bit overwhelmed by the commotion, blind to the conflict that’s been occurring in your absence and unaware of what exactly is going on, but you do your best to focus on finding Zuko first.

Surprisingly, the palace hallways are relatively empty, and you slow your sprint to a walk once you reach the throne room corridors. The pristine gold doors are left open, and the sound of Zuko’s voice carries through the air. Already you can feel the worry melting away just by hearing him speak, and though you want nothing more than to run in and throw yourself into his arms you stop to listen. You want to make sure you’re not interrupting anything important before you announce yourself.

“I care for you…” you hear him say, prompting your brows to furrow slightly in uncertainty. You can’t exactly make out everything he’s saying or what the context of his conversation is, but you’re able to note the soft gentleness in his tone, and a part of you is starting to feel strange listening in. Who is he speaking to in such a manner?

Peeking your head around the corner, you can’t help but feel your heart begin to sink to your stomach at the sight before you.

Zuko stands in the center of the throne room, gently clasping one of Mai’s hands in his own as he speaks to her in a comforting manner. You’re not sure what exactly they’re saying to each other or why she’s there, but watching the scene unfold before you fills you with dread and insecurity. Surely Zuko wouldn’t be unfaithful to you… would he?

You’ve worked hard to build your trust in him again after all you’d both been through, but you can’t help but question what he’s been up to in your absence. Why was he with his ex-girlfriend, and why he was holding her hand in what looked to be like an intimate moment? Was he thinking of leaving you again? Had he changed his mind about your relationship? What had you just walked in on?

“Zuko?” You call meekly, as if you shouldn’t be there interrupting their moment and as if you’re not his actual girlfriend. The two startle at the intrusion, but when Zuko realizes that you’re actually there before him he immediately releases his hold on her and runs towards you.

“Y/n!” He exclaims, engulfing you in the tightest hug imaginable. You’re unsure how to react at first, still reeling from what you’d just seen, but eventually you return his hug. Your weary gaze sets upon Mai who keeps her eyes down to the ground and refuses to look you in the face.

“Am I interrupting something?” You warily ask when he finally pulls away. He falters for a moment, almost offended by your insinuation.

“No! No, of course not,” he rushes to explain. “We were just… talking.”

“It kind of looked like it was more than just talking to me,” you say defensively. You don’t want to be jealous or accusatory, but you can’t help it. How could you not question them being alone together and holding hands?

“Princess, I swear there is nothing going on,” Zuko pleads earnestly, taking both of your hands in his own. “Mai is only here because the children of the Fire Nation are going missing and she’s helping me find them.”

“They took my little brother,” she adds quietly, solemn gaze still focused on the ground.

“They took Kiyi,” Zuko utters sorrowfully. His eyes are full of shame and worry, and you find it difficult to be upset with him when he looks so hurt and vulnerable.

“I’m so sorry,” you murmur softly before pulling him in for a tight hug.

“I have the city on lockdown until I’m able to find the people responsible, and I’m doing everything I can to get them back. I’m sorry you had to find out like this, I didn’t mean to exclude you. I swear I was just going to write you and ask for your help.”

“You never have to ask,” you say with a comforting smile. “I came to surprise you because I missed you, and I’m glad I did.“

“So am I,” Zuko professes earnestly before cupping your face and pulling you in for a kiss.

Neither of you notice Mai leaving the room.

~~~

Zuko catches you up on everything- the Kemurikage, the “Safe Nation Society,” the kidnapping of Tom-Tom and Kiyi, Azula’s return, and Ukano’s possible connection to Zuko’s sister. It was a lot to process, but you were quick to get up to speed so that you’d be able to do all you could to help.

“I don’t think you should have kicked Aang out of the throne room,” you chide Zuko after hearing him recount his disagreement with the Avatar. Fire Nation guards escort you to the Capital City prison as you converse, and Zuko hopes that by the time you reach your destination Mai’s father will be caught and ready for questioning.

“I tried to do things his way, but if he isn’t going to see things my way then I can’t have him around,” he tries to explain.

“Zuko, I saw firsthand how restless your people have become as a result of your harsh lockdown rules. Aang might be right,” you try to reason with him. “I don’t think causing fear and uncertainty is going to help us find the missing children.”

“I had to do something,” he argues weakly, “I have to get my sister back and stop Azula before it’s too late.”

“You will,” you assure him firmly, giving his arm a comforting squeeze.

As the two of you talk, Mai trails along quietly behind you both. A whirlwind of emotions are festering in her mind; she wants her brother returned to her, but she feels guilty exposing her father to Zuko and his guards and costing him his freedom. It feels like she’s working with the enemy, and perhaps in a way that’s true.

She can’t help the scowl that plays upon her features as she watches you and Zuko walk arm in arm to the prison. While she’s fretting over her family, it almost seems as if you two don’t have a care in the world about anything but each other. That isn’t true, of course, but her resentment clouds her better judgement, and all she can feel is disdain for the couple in front of her.

You were Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, a master bender, kind, beautiful. She could understand why any guy would want you, but why did Zuko? And why did you have to want him back? You had practically everything, you grew up a Princess, so why couldn’t you have just let her have this one thing? Why did you have to take him back and take him away from her after she’d finally gotten the one thing she’d always wanted?

“I’m sorry about your brother,” a voice says, pulling Mai away from her thoughts. So wrapped up in her cynicism, she hadn’t even realized they’d made it to the prison. A couple feet away, Zuko speaks to one of his men about the riot that had broken out on behalf of the Safe Nation Society. And in front of her you stand, your features kind and your words remorseful despite the tension you share.

“Thanks,” she says flatly, unsure of what else to say. The last time she’d spoken to you had been in the flower shop, and it hadn’t exactly been a pleasant conversation. She knows that you’re trying, and she knows this is all just as uncomfortable for you as it is for her, but she still isn’t so easily swayed. She doesn’t think you deserve her sympathy or understanding, and she doesn’t plan to go out of her way to be nice to you.

“I don’t have any siblings so I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I want to help however I can if you’ll let me.”

“You can help by staying out of the way,” she replies bluntly, her gaze hardening much to your surprise. “Zuko promised he’d help me find Tom-Tom, and I don’t need you distracting him while you’re here.”

“I want to help him find Kiyi,” you argue defensively, “I’m not going to get in the way of something as important as finding the missing children. Why can’t you believe that?”

“Because you have a really good track record of getting in the way of things that are important to me.”

Stunned by her admission, you can’t help but find yourself falling short of words. You knew Mai didn’t exactly think highly of you or approve of your relationship, but did she really still believe that you’d stolen Zuko away from her? You’re not to blame for what Zuko did to her or what she went through. You’ve endured just as much hurt as she has if not worse, and it isn’t fair for her to paint you as the problem.

“I didn’t even know about you and Zuko until we were already broken up! I’ve never personally tried to hurt you, and I don’t expect you to like me, but you need to get over yourself. Zuko isn’t what’s important here, you and I are not what’s important, it’s the kids. It’s Tom-Tom and Kiyi and all the children that are probably so frightened and alone. Can we at least agree on that?!”

It’s silent for a moment, you and Mai simply starting each other down for what feels like ages until she finally relents. Her tense shoulders slowly fall in defeat and she sighs, somewhat embarrassed at her little outburst. She’d been letting her emotions get the better of her lately, failing to conceal them like she was usually so good at doing, and it was painfully embarrassing for her to come to this realization.

“You’re right,” she murmurs, “let’s just focus on finding the children. The sooner this is all over the sooner we never have to see each other again anyway.”

“Fine by me,” you huff indignantly. Though Mai has more to say, she isn’t given the time to once she spots her boyfriend being escorted towards the prison in handcuffs.

“Kei Lo!” She exclaims before turning to the Fire Lord. “Zuko, this is obviously a mistake! Get him out of those cuffs!”

“I’m not so sure,” Zuko says hesitantly, looking to you for guidance to see if he’s making the right choice. You merely give him a hesitant shrug, not really wanting to get involved in their quarrel. You don’t know the full story, so it’s better to just stay out of it.

“Are you serious? You need her permission to let my boyfriend go?” She exclaims exasperatedly. “Release him!”

“What were you doing with the Safe Nation Society, Kei Lo?” Zuko prods firmly, ignoring Mai’s complaints.

“They ran into me! Literally!” The boy argues to try and prove his innocence.

“You’ve betrayed your allies bedore, who’s to say you aren’t acting as a double agent now!”

“Zuko! Stop being ridiculous!” Mai scolds angrily before looking to you. “Tell him he’s being ridiculous.”

“I’d rather not get involved…” you trail off awkwardly, only irritating her further.

Eventually Zuko allows for Kei Lo’s release, but you can tell by the look on his face that he isn’t too happy about it. His firm gaze seems to be burning holes into the back of Kei Lo’s head as he watches Mai embrace the boy, and a part of you wonders if he’s feeling some sort of jealousy towards him. Surely he wouldn’t be, he has no reason or right to be jealous, at least you think so anyway.

“Zuko?” You utter softly, placing a careful hand on his back to get his attention. “If I ask you something… will you be honest with me? Even if it’s something I don’t want to hear?”

“Of course, my love,” he says earnestly before giving you his full undivided attention. “What is it?”

“Do you… do you still-“

“Zuko!”

You startle away from Zuko at the sudden intrusion, eyes widening as you see Aang sprinting towards your boyfriend with Suki and Ty Lee in tow. You’re honestly surprised to see him considering he should have been heading back to the South with Katara and Sokka by now, and based upon his reaction it seems he’s just as surprised to see you.

“Aang!”

“Y/n! What are you doing here?” He exclaims in bewilderment.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Zuko interrupts. “I thought you left.”

“Well you thought wrong, buddy!” Aang corrects him impatiently. “We’ve been looking all over for you! Suki, Ty Lee, and I found something you need to see! Come on!”

“Fire Lord,” one of Zuko’s men interrupts, “the sun will set before we know it. We need to make a plan our people will rise up again.”

Zuko shares a quiet glance with the men before looking to Aang. You know what his answer is going to be, and you know that the Avatar isn’t going to like it.

“I’m sorry, Aang, but General Mak is right. I need to handle this my own way.”

“Even if your way is stupid?!” He rebuffs indignantly.

“What Aang means to say,” you correct, trying to put a nicer spin on his words, “is that maybe the approach you’ve been taking isn’t working. Maybe keeping your people on lockdown like they’re criminals in their own homes will only make things worse. You need to change your approach.”

“I’m sorry, Princess, but I know what’s best for my people.”

“I’ve seen your people, and they’re not happy. They’re scared, and I know you want to find Kiyi and stop Azula but you need to start thinking rationally first.”

“Can you please just trust that I know what I’m doing? Help me come up with a new plan to keep the Fire Nation citizens in order and find Azula and Ukano so that we can find Kiyi.”

His pleading eyes beg for your understanding and support, but you’re hesitant. You know that Zuko means well, but you don’t agree with his methods at all. Being a leader yourself, you know that fear and unrest is not the way to solve problems. You must treat your people with trust and respect like they deserve, otherwise they won’t be able to do the same for you.

Luckily, Aang buts in before you’re able to shoot Zuko’s request down. An air scooter is abruptly thrown beneath your boyfriend, lifting him up and carrying him away to spirits know where- if the situation weren’t so serious you’d laugh at how discombobulated Zuko looks being swept up off his feet and whisked away by a ball of air.

“Aang, slow down!” You call out before sprinting after the pair. Suki and Ty Lee are right beside you chasing them down. “Why are our reunions always so chaotic?”

“I don’t think this group knows how to live without chaos,” Suki quips with a breathless laugh. “It’s good to see you, y/n. Ty Lee and I will catch you up on everything on the way there.”

“I’d love nothing more,” you applaud gratefully.

You can only hope that whatever it is they’ve found will make things much easier from here on out.

Because you’re not sure how much more of this you can take.

| atla tags: @sirkekselord @niktwazny303

| zuko tags: @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @taeeemin

| fire lilies tags: @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @xapham @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 8, Unexpected - Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, bit 'o' dirty talk, allusions to sexual situations, Tony being Tony.

Word Count: 1.9k

Previously On...: Tony invented an interesting game for the team to play while you and Bucky were otherwise... occupied, and the team voted on whether or not to approve Jade's probationary term. To your surprise, Bucky voted against it, though it didn't matter, as you were outvoted, but you were grateful for his support.

A/N: Welcome to Chapter 8! I know Bucky said some shitty stuff in Ch. 7, Pt. 1, but I'd like to clarify that none of what was said was out of malice or lack of care for Pocket. He just truly wasn't thinking about how the things he said would make her feel. Is it callous? Absolutely. Is it unforgivable? I don't necessarily think so. We all have moments where we simply speak without thought. It's not his finest moment in the fic, but it's also not going to be his worst.

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @jupiter-107 @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch

The next few weeks were some of the best of your life. True to his word, Bucky was romancing the absolute shit out of you. It seemed like nearly every night, he was whisking you out for another romantic dinner, or to this hole-in-the-wall jazz club he found so he could finally take you dancing ("the proper way, not this humping-while-standing-up-thing you kids do nowadays"). He brought fresh flowers to both your suite and your office once a week like clockwork, and the sex-- well, there were some mornings you couldn't even walk properly. It was perfect. He was perfect.

Together, you existed in your own little bubble, a new level of happiness unlocked in both of you that neither one ever expected to achieve.

The day of Jade's move-in to the Tower arrived, and you would have completely forgotten all about it if Tony hadn't mentioned it to you when you passed him in the hall on your way to meet Bucky in the common room for lunch. The reminder didn't weigh you down like you had expected it to. While she was unpleasant, and you didn't expect to become chums with her anytime soon, that burning rage you'd felt for her when she'd flirted with Bucky had subsided. Knowing how he felt about you had worn your jealousy down to non-existent.

You entered the common room, spotting Bucky kneeling in front of the coffee table, his back to you, as he took the lunches he'd ordered for you out of their takeout carriers and arranging them on the surface.

Feeling playful, you decided to sneak up on him, covering his eyes with your hands when you finally reached him.

"You know I heard you coming a mile away, doll," he chuckled, reaching around to pull you into a kiss. "Could smell you, too."

"Oh, I--" You felt the heat rise to your cheeks as you sank next to him on the floor. Just thinking about Bucky was enough to get you aroused most days, but for it to be enough for him to smell--

"Relax, ya pervert; I meant your perfume," Bucky laughed, passing you a bottle of iced tea from the take out bag. You playfully swatted at him.

"You're awful," you admonished with a grin.

"Yet, you love me," he shot back, leaning in to give you a quick kiss.

"The world is full of mysteries," you teased. You started opening up the container of Gaeng Daeng Bucky had ordered from your favorite Thai place. The portions were so large, you'd only ever be able to eat half of it, but that was just fine; your super soldier boyfriend would make sure none of it went to waste.

"I do love that lilac perfume on you," Bucky mused as he dug into his own plate of Pad Krapow Moo Saap. "Mixes so nice with the scent of your pussy."

You choked on a bite of your curry as Bucky broke into a fit of laughter. Handing you your bottle of tea, Bucky gently rubbed your back as he tried to reel himself in. "I'm sorry, doll. Drink this. Don't go choking to death on me, now."

When you were finally able to get your breathing back under control, you shot him a look.

"What?" he said, face the picture of innocence as he held up his hands in surrender. "'s not my fault you have the prettiest pussy I've ever laid my tongue on."

For the sake of propriety, you wanted to be mad at, or at least a little annoyed by him. But, Lord, if his words didn't do things to you. So, instead, you grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him toward you in a bruising kiss. His hands quickly guided your body down, until you were lying on the floor and he was resting on top of you, your Thai food temporarily abandoned as you gave in to one another.

Bucky had just begun pawing at your clothes when you both froze at the sound of someone awkwardly clearing their throat in the doorway.

"Common Room's closed for maintenance. Come back later," Bucky called over his shoulder without even looking. You couldn't help but laugh as he resumed kissing you. The man had no shame and you were kinda into it.

"Buck." The single word, low and harsh from Steve left you both frozen in place. In unison, you picked your heads up and looked to the door. Standing in the archway were three individuals-- one looking at you with barely disguised amusement, one with undisguised rage, and one who was trying very hard not to look at you at all.

"I hope you're not fraternizing on company time, Pocket," Tony said with a grin. Surprisingly, he had warmed up to the idea of you and Bucky being together (especially after you had threatened to "take my talents somewhere where my personal life won't be scrutinized and judged." "You wouldn't!" he'd gasped. "I wouldn't want to," you'd replied. "Don't let that be my only remaining option." It had been an empty threat; you both knew it, but it had been enough to get him on board).

The same couldn't be said for the man who refused to look at you, though. Since you and Bucky had officially begun dating, Steve had been ignoring you like you had cooties and he was unvaccinated, and you couldn't, for the life of you, figure out why. You'd brought your concern up to Bucky one evening, sure he'd assuage your anxiety, but he just told you to give the other man time to sort himself, leaving you with more questions. Did Steve hate you now because he thought you'd stolen his best friend from him? Or were those ‘Stucky’ shippers on Tumblr onto something?

"Like you're one to talk, Boss," you sassed back to Tony as you and Bucky extricated yourselves from your compromising position and stood up. Brushing down your pants, you turned to Bucky. "Can't even begin to tell you how many girls I've walked in on this guy with in the office before Pep came into the picture. Scarred me for life."

Tony had a faux-sappy look on his face and let loose a couple of fake sniffles as he clutched his hands to his heart. "Office dalliances of her very own. My little girl is all grown up. There is nothing more for me to teach you, precious Padawan." His hands moved to wipe away at a fake tear.

"Tony," Steve warned with a raised brow.

Tony blanched, as though just remembering his purpose for being in the common room. "Oh, yeah. Um, very unprofessional, you two. I'm shocked. Just scandalized. This is a place of business, blah blah blah and all that. Anyway, you remember Jade Carthage, our newest Probationary Avenger."

Ah, the third individual who was glaring at you with unadulterated hatred in her eyes.

"Vixen, nice to see you again. Welcome to the team." Bucky extended his hand for Jade to shake, and you watched her gaze soften and melt under his as she took his hand.

"Such a pleasure to see you again, Sergeant Barnes," she cooed. When Bucky released her hand, she turned to you, a cold, wicked smile that cut like a knife across her face.

"I don't think we've met," she said, extending her hand to you. "I'm Jade Carthage, but please, call me 'Vixen.'"

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N)," you said, with a shrug, as if completely nonplussed that she claimed not to know you. “My friends call me ‘Pocket,’ but Ms. (Y/L/N) should suffice.'" You took her hand to shake it. "CTO of Stark Industries, head of Innovation and Technology for the Avengers’ Initiative. Bucky's girlfriend." Jade's grip around your hand tightened, her super soldier strength making it feel as though she were crushing your very bones, but you held on, not letting a single ounce of pain show on your face. You'd dealt with worse.

When you didn't back down, Jade let your hand go. You flexed your fingers, relishing in the return of blood flow to your appendages.

"Buck," Steve said, and you were kind of hoping for more than just a single syllable out of him this time, "we're putting Jade next door to you. Mind showing her where to go? We've already had her stuff moved in. Tony and I just need to finalize some paperwork with her and we'll have her back down."

Sensing your body tense up at Steve's request, Bucky placed a reassuring hand at the small of your back. "Well, I'm in Pocket's room most nights now, anyway." He looked down at you, offering a soft smile that you returned. "But since she's just across the hall, yeah. We can walk you down, Jade. That is," he added, his smile turning a little naughty, "if I can convince my girl here to take the afternoon off and indulge me with a bit of her time." His arm moved from your back up to around your shoulders, and he pulled you into him.

"Well," you hemmed, as though not already completely convinced that would be an absolutely wonderful idea, "I have to check with my boss first. Hey, Tony?" He pursed his lips at you, clearly not pleased that you wanted to slack off. "Can I take the afternoon off?" He opened his mouth, most likely to deny you, but you cut him off "Oh, wait-- that's right. I don't actually report to you anymore." You turned back to Bucky. "We're good to go, baby." You winked and blew Tony a kiss. You both knew you had so much unused vacation time stacked up, you could not show up to work for a year and you'd barely tap into it.

"Great," Bucky said with a smile. "We'll finish our lunch and you can meet us back here when you're done finalizing your paperwork, and we'll show you your new digs."

Steve nodded and grunted his consent, while Jade just glared at you.

"Perfect," said Tony with a clap of his hands. Before turning to leave, he looked back at you and Bucky with a conspiratorial nod. "Just make sure to finish off your lunch and not each other, got it? I'm not due to have this carpet shampooed for another couple of weeks, and they charge extra for dealing with bodily fluids."

"Oh, gross, Tony," you moaned, while they walked off, Tony laughing to himself.

Once they were gone and you and Bucky had settled back around the coffee table to eat your now cooling Thai, you leaned in and kissed him. "Thank you," you said when you'd pulled away.

"For what?" he asked, breath a little uneven from the kiss.

"For being amazing and handling that entire thing perfectly," you told him, putting a hand on his knee.

He smiled at you, his blue eyes like crystals. "I told you, sweetheart, gonna be the best goddamned boyfriend you ever had, and that means making sure I'm not putting myself in a situation with her" he nodded his head toward the now empty doorway, "that makes you uncomfortable. Besides, it was really immature of her to pretend she didn't know who you were. I'm not going to spend alone time with someone who disrespects my girl like that."

You brought your hand up to stroke his jaw. "Have I told you how much I fucking love you?"

"Yeah," said Bucky, smiling at you through a big bite of his food, "but you might have to repeat yourself a lot. I am over a hundred, you know. My hearing's not what it used to be."

<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->

[fanttasttica]

Your love healed me

Rhysand x reader

You were friends with Rhysand and his Inner circle for nearly a hundred years. He trusted you with paperwork, he discussed ideas with you that he wasn't sure if they were good or bad.. You took your work very seriously and put it before everything else, even before your own safety. When Amartantha invites Rhysand and other High lords to her court, you manage to convince Rhysand to take you with him. That night, you end up being imprisoned for nearly fifty years and after you were freed.. The consequences of all this fell on you.  

warnings: mentions of sexual abuse, depression

words: 2599

“We don't know what exactly, but Amarantha is planning something big. She invited all the High lords to her court for some celebration and Rhys is going in hope that he will find out something..” You still shook your head, this wasn't surprising at all. “This is ridiculous. It's very dangerous. What if something happened and he would end up all alone? What is he thinking?” You couldn't believe what you were hearing. She sighed and nodded, also not believing what her cousin was thinking.. “Yeah.. he will leave tomorrow morning and return later at night. Hopefully he will find something then..” She came closer and hugged you. “I will go now, had to speak with one of the Priestess about something. Take care..” You tried giving her a small smile, your thoughts already elsewhere, before she disappeared. If only you knew that this was the last time you would see her for almost fifty years.. You would probably never stop hugging her. 

You didn't know how, but you were free. Free.. It was a strange word for you. You have been under the mountain for almost fifty years. After your last conversation with Morrigan, you went straight to Rhysands office and demanded that he take you with him. And after some persuading, he did. That celebration.. didn't go the way you and everyone else thought it would. Amarantha somehow took powers of all High lords and imprisoned them Under the mountain, together with their courts. And that's how your life in hell began. You and Rhys tried to come up with a plan on how to get out of this mess, but you came up with nothing. You learned that he locked your friends in Velaris, so at least they were safe. And because of that he let Amarantha use him as she pleased. She was sick and you couldn't be happier that she was dead now. These years were hard for Rhys, they were hard for you, for everyone. Many lost their loved ones, their friends.. And some lost themselves, that was also your case. You were broken. After a year or so, Amarantha found a job for you. You were forced to be entertainment for her most faithful guards. This was the reason why you began to close yourself before others, you tried to get away from all of it and pretending that this isn't your body and it's not happening to you, was the easiest way. Of course, there was Rhys, who was trying to help you as much as he could, but he was also scared that if someone noticed he was paying you this much attention, your situation would only get worse. He was blaming himself for bringing you with him, although you said to him many times, it wasn't his fault. In the end, you persuaded him. You felt terrible, when you knew he saw you like this.. broken. Most of the time, you were trying to avoid him as everyone else. You started talking less and less, not trying to communicate with anyone. You become allergic to the touches, which was understandable considering what you had to do. The day when you were freed by this human girl - Feyre, you were looking like a ghost and feeling empty. After Feyre woke up, after she survived her death, chaos broke out in the hall. Some fairies were cheering happily, some broke down crying in relief and you.. You were standing here, not moving the muscle until Rhysand found you. “Thanks to the Cauldron.. there you are, darling.” He seemed relieved that he was seeing you, his eyes were watching you with care and happiness. “We should come home. I will winnow us, okay?” He took your silence as yes, grabbed your hand gently and before you could protest, you were standing in the familiar room with four figures looking at you and Rhys in surprise.

The house hadn't changed, not a little bit. Your friends looked exactly like fifty years ago. It looked like you and Rhys were gone for maybe a few days, not half a century. The first person who came to senses was Morrigan, who ran to Rhys and hugged him tightly, as they both broke into tears. You used this as an opportunity to shake off Rhysand's hand which was still holding yours. But you didn't have much time to celebrate, because there was already another person touching and hugging, Cassian. You didn't return the hug, instead you tried to get out of the hug as fast as possible. He of course let you go, looking at you with worry and shock at the same time. Your heart was beating rapidly. “I.. I can't..” Saying the first words in this week, you shook your head. This was too much for you. This attention and touches were making you more uncomfortable than you already were. “Y/N?” Morrigan reached out to you and you stepped back. She gave Rhysand a look, asking for an explanation. Instead of answering her, he started walking towards you. “You don't have to worry anymore, Y/N. You are safe here.. Trust me again, please.” He was pleading with you. Pleading you to let him help you, but how could you let it happen? He had his own trauma he had to deal with, he shouldn't be concentrating on you. “I am okay.. I just have to.. get used to everything again.” And with that, you left the room in a hurry, going directly to your room.

The first day after you returned, you were crying your eyes out. The second day, you were sleeping almost all day and the next few days? You spent staring right in front of you, not having the power to cry, eat or talk. Your friends tried to visit you, they tried to talk with you and get you to eat, but you needed time to heal. Well, you were hoping time will heal you, maybe thanks to some miracle? The truth is, this wasn't helping you at all. You were behaving like you would still be Under the mountain and not in Velaris, with your family, who were very worried about you. This wasn't like every other before. You were dressed in black leggings and white sweater, your unwashed hair was in a messy bun and you were laying in your bed, looking like a zombie, when you heard a knock on your door. “Y/N? It's me..” Rhysand's voice was quiet and filled with sadness. “I am going inside.” He wasn't asking you, he simply told you and maybe it was better, because you would probably send him away. He opened the door and closed them behind him. He was looking better than before. His eyes were still tired, he was also not fully healed, but unlike you, he was stronger. Strong enough to talk about his trauma and to face it. He pulled the chair from your table to your bed and sat on it. “We need to talk.. This.. can't continue. I do not expect you to be happy and to act like nothing happened, but at least need to get me and others in. Slowly and one after the other.” You sighed softly and turned your head at him. How come you are so brave? So strong?” You shook your head. “I really admire you. For what you have done and for how you manage to.. continue after all this.” His expression was soft and he averted his eyes. “I would say we both went through the same thing.. So I know how hard it is. To believe it is really over. To wake up during the night sweaty and scared because you had a nightmare. To.. let each other touch you and start talking, trusting someone else again. But you have to push yourself. You can really try slowly, with me at first and then with Mor for example. She wants to help you, we all want to help you.” You felt the tears building in your eyes, trying to blink them away, but didn't succeed. You sat up with tears now rolling on your face. “I.. I.. am just scared. I am coward.” You whispered and he nodded in understatement. “You are not a coward. What happened to you was awful and many people would be in the same state as you. Just.. Let me help you and try not to push me away.” You looked him in the eye, thinking about it for a second, before nodding in agreement. 

After you decided to give it a try, Rhysand came to your room everyday. Sometimes he brought himself work and some books he thought you would like for you and you would spend time in comfortable silence. When you were in a better mood you two were talking about ordinary things and after some time, when you were more comfortable around him, you started to talk about your trauma. Well, he started first, he wanted to show you that you shouldn't be scared or ashamed to talk about it. Sometimes you cried together and hugged each other. He was the first person you allowed to touch you since your returning home and he was well aware of that, so he always hugged you softly and gave you a chance to pull away anytime you would want. Sometimes, you wouldn't let him go for a few minutes and he was patient with you, gently stroking your back, like now “You really don't mind?” This was a question he heard for a third time today, so he laughed a little. “No, I really don't mind. You are very.. comforting for me too, you know.” You smiled a little and buried your face into his chest. He was so warm, he smelled good and you were welcoming that and also a feeling of safety he was bringing to you. You pulled away after a while and sat on your bed, next to him. “I think.. I think I will ask Mor to visit me tomorrow.” His expression changed, he was pleasantly surprised. “Are you sure? I don't want you to get overwhelmed.” You smile slightly at him. “I am sure. Morrigan can be very chatty, but I really miss her and I am feeling better, so I think I will manage.” Rhysand was scanning your face for any doubts, but could not find any. He took your hand in his. “I will be honest. I am really glad you are feeling better, but I will miss having you only for myself.” You chuckled at this. “And I thought you'd had enough of me at this point.” You pretended to disbelieve and put his hand on his chest, right where he has a heart. “Enough of you? I don't believe it's actually possible.” You raised your eyebrow and grinned at him. “I am going to take it as a challenge.” 

“I am so glad you are feeling better! Maybe it's weird, but I was missing you maybe even more since you came home.” You two were sitting in your room, on your bed and drinking wine together after a dinner she brought you. “Yeah.. I think I understand you. And I am sorry I didn't let you in sooner.” She shook her head. “Don't you dare apologize for it. Never, you got it? What happened wasn't your fault and you managed to recover from it soon.” At this moment, you were happier than you were in the past fifty years. “It's thanks to Rhys.. He helped me a lot. I think more than he knows and when at the same time he has to get used to everything himself.. I don't know how I will ever repay him.” In the end, it wasn't a time that healed you. “You are repaying me just by smiling again.” Of course you knew whose voice it was and it unknowingly made you smile even brighter. Morrigan saw this and stood up. “I will leave you two be alone now. Y/N if you don't mind, I will come tomorrow to visit  you again.” You nodded at her “And bring Cassian and Azriel too. I will never admit it in front of them, because Cassian would never stop teasing me, but I miss them both dearly.” Mor grinned at you as she walked past Rhysand and closed the door behind her. You patted on the bed, on the place, which was occupied by your blonde friend only a few seconds ago. Rhys understood what you were telling him and sat next to you. “I mean it, Y/N. I don't want anything from you as some sort of repayment. Actually.. You also helped me very much.” You narrowed your eyes in confusion. “Really? How so?” You weren't aware about anything special you did for him.”Since the day we started spending more time with each other again, I have been feeling better. It was nice, like in old times. I was also trying to get used to some touches and well with you.. It was more natural than with anyone else. It always felt so good to hold your hand, hug you..” He exhaled and looked you in the eyes. “Although I have to admit to you that I was feeling this way.. for a longer time. Actually I think there wasn't a time I wasn't feeling like this with you. At first I blamed it for a simple crush. And when I finally admitted to myself how I feel, the whole thing with Amarantha had happened. I didn't want to rush you and I am sorry for telling you this right now, because we are both still healing, but I love you. That's why I was so.. distant under the mountain. maybe more than it was necessary. But I couldn't risk Amarantha finding out about it.” Telling you were surprised wouldn't be enough. You were absolutely stunned, watching him with wide eyes and mouth open a little. “Rhys.. I don't know what to say.” You offered you a little smile “You don't have to say anything. I just.. couldn't hold it in me anymore.” You shook your head and took his hand into your. “No. I want to. It just surprised me a lot.” You always liked him, but under the Mountain you realized you love him too. Perhaps that's why you also started to avoid him, not wanting him to find out somehow, because it would only complicate some things and possibly destroy your friendship. Or you thought.. “I love you Rhys. And I am not saying this out of some obligation. I love you for your kindness, patience, for your sense of humor.. For everything.” A big grin appeared on his face and you laughed a little. He took your face into his hand, looking at your lips and then to your eyes, asking for permission you gladly gave him. His kiss was very soft, he was clearly scared a little, not wanting to hurt you in any way. After you pulled away from each other, you both were smiling like fools. “Thank you.” You whispered to him, while he was caressing your cheek. “What for, my darling?” You put your hand on his and kissed his palm. “For your love. Because.. Your love healed me.”

[chiqelatasblog]

CHAPTER FIVE : I don’t want to know more about you. (But I want to…)

-> Ao3 link is here.

-> Chapter Four link is here.

Pairing : Sub-Zero / Bi-Han x Reader

Summary : Nearly a month has passed since you first joined the Lin Kuei, and as you spend time with Bi-Han, you started to realize some things about him and also about yourself.

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15 years ago…

“May I join you too?”

It had been a few months since you turned eight, and there were a few other kids close to your age in the clan. When you weren’t undergoing martial arts training, you still attended noble womanly pursuits, as deemed by your father. The time you could spend by yourself was so limited that, at times fatigue seemed to permeate every moment.

Fortunately, there was an exception today. Your teacher, responsible for teaching etiquette, fell ill. Upon discovering that your afternoon would be unoccupied, you pondered how to fill the empty space. The last time you had such wide-open time, the wound in your throat had yet to heal. You spent those days in your room, drawing pictures, reading books your mother brought you, and indulging in the very activity your father despised the most: daydreaming.

Your father was a man who was firmly attached to a sense of reality. He was an idealist, he believed in reality, not dreams. He always talked about how daydreaming distorts the perception of reality, disconnects from goals and leads to the wrong path, so he never wanted any of his children to dream.

However, since your powers were discovered, you were left alone and as you relied more on your umbrakinesis, this isolation also fueled your imagination. Reality often brought pain, while in your own dream world, you felt safer and happier. No one could harm you there, everything followed your control and will.

But since your father changed his mind and decided that you should take martial art training with the others, you haven’t even had time to think properly, let alone dream. The moment your head touched the pillow, you were falling into a deep sleep. You couldn’t even have your nightmares as usual because of the fatigue. The rigorous training left you so physically exhausted that not even your subconscious could conjure the haunting visions that usually plagued your sleep.

It had been two and a half years since the wound on your throat had healed. Given the intense pace of the past two and a half years, it was quite normal for you to feel stunned now, unsure of what to do.

As three children argued about who should be the next “it,” all turned their heads, looking at you with distant eyes when you posed the question.

Unsettled by the prolonged silence, you attempted to ease the tension with a friendly smile. Being the grandmaster’s daughter had always created a distance between you and others in the clan. Here was no exception.

“I suppose you’re playing hide and seek. I really like this game!” you exclaimed cheerfully. The tallest boy among them—Wang, you recalled—squinted his eyes suspiciously and crossed his arms.

“Wherever the shadows touch, you will find us immediately. How do we know if you’re going to cheat or not?” he questioned.

“Yes!” added another. “We can’t trust you!’’

Panic immediately entered your voice.

‘’No, no! I wouldn’t do that. I promise you! My mother has always advised me to be on the side of honesty.”

As the silence lingered once again, a familiar sense of discomfort and exclusion enveloped you. When would you truly become a part of the clan? The first time you vocalized this thought to your mother, she grew angry, instructing you to banish such ideas. In her eyes, you already held a respectable place as the grandmaster’s daughter. Yet, both of you acknowledged the truth—the assassination attempt being the clearest example.

“Let’s let her play the first round. If we see you cheating, you can’t play with us, okay?” the last boy spoke, taking charge in a way that indicated he was the leader of this small group.

The chance given to you filled your heart with excitement and happiness, a broad smile adorning your face. It felt unexpectedly easy. In the past, with your brothers you’d beg to be part of the game, enduring insults, hair-pulling, and tripping that left you bleeding. However, you had outgrown such pleas, tired of the mistreatment.

“All right! Shall I start counting?” you said, eager to begin.

“Put your face against that oak tree,” the leader directed, pointing to the sizable trunk nearby. “We can’t afford for you to peek.”

Nodding eagerly, you placed your hands against the rough bark of the tree, burying your head between them. Your cheeks turned a rosy hue with anticipation as you felt the rough texture beneath your fingers.

“Count to thirty!”

As you counted aloud, the distant echoes of footsteps retreated on the dew-kissed grass. When you reached thirty, you excitedly turned around, carefully observing the surroundings. Despite the bright weather and the sun overhead, the residual chill in the air left it a bit muddy, marking the arrival of spring.

Moving forward with small, cautious steps, you searched every bush, tree, and nook and cranny in your field of vision, being careful not to make too much noise and disturb the serene atmosphere.

“(y/n), what are you doing?”

At the unexpected sound of your father’s deep, resonant voice you froze in place. Fear misfired through your heart, giving you the strength to turn around and face him. He stood a little away, observing you with his usual cold gaze. Although accustomed to that look, his power over you was evident. Your father’s imposing presence always scared you, making you nervous and timid.

It seemed the only way to please him was to stand next to him, as if you were a trinket without breathing.

“I-I was playing hide and seek.” you said in a voice that was barely audible. When your father’s eyebrows furrowed against your answer, it felt like your heart might stop beating right there.

“What happened to today’s lesson?” As your father approached, his presence seemed to crush the world around you. Unable to answer, your lower jaw trembled with fear, and your tongue felt heavy inside your mouth. His dominant presence often did more than physical force.

He never raised a hand to you, but his words were as sharp as a knife, and his heavy, dominating aura weighed on you. When he stood right on top of you, you tilted your head back, trying not to tremble under his imposing size. Showing fear was another thing he detested, a sign of weakness.

“I asked you a question, girl.”

“I found out that Mrs. Cheng has contracted pneumonia. When there was no lesson, I thought-”

“What did you think?” your father interjected. Although his voice sounded calm, the underlying rage made you tremble. “How many times do I have to repeat this to get it into that thick little head of yours; you don’t have time for this kind of nonsense. You’re not anyone’s daughter. Don’t embarrass me and our clan any more and go back to your studies.”

While your father practically pinned you with his eyes, the rustling bushes behind you revealed the children who were hiding. As your father humiliated you in front of them, your cheeks flushed with shame, and your eyes shone with tears that you resisted not to shed. Clenching your small fists, you bowed your head to hide your tears.

“Very well, sir.” you muttered in a bitter voice.

With a sigh, your father said, “Fall in front of me.” Obliged to obey, you started walking along the path to the temple. Though you felt the children’s eyes watching you and heard their whispers, you avoided looking at them due to your shame.

As the temple came into view, you saw your older and middle brothers, one year apart, laughing and pointing fingers at you. The pain in your heart surged, and you made a great effort not to cry. The distance with your brothers and the clan seemed insurmountable. Even if you managed to get closer, somehow they were still moving away from you. Swallowing hard, you swore at that very moment.

You were going to prove yourself to everyone in the clan, especially your father.

No matter what happens.

Today…

You were nervous.

It was the first letter you were going to send to your brother since you came to Lin Kuei. In the letter, you didn’t mention being poisoned and almost coming back from death. The first reason for this was to prevent your brother from starting a war when you had not yet gathered useful information. The second reason was that you didn’t want him to humiliate you for not noticing the poison.

So, without touching on the subject at the moment, you talked about your new life here and the closeness you had begun to establish with the clan members. Especially with Bi-Han, you started to communicate even if it was a little. Your conversations usually revolved around the books he brought you from his mother’s library, which you were forbidden to enter. Surprisingly, Bi-Han had read most of them, maintaining a secretive attitude but not holding back from making a few comments.

He was busy, spending almost all of his day taking care of the affairs of his clan. Even if you only saw him at meals, it made it difficult to further the small communication you had established with him.

Aside from that, it was much easier for you to get along with the others compared to Bi-Han. The only exception was Frost. The woman was as inaccessible as an ice castle, vowing not to talk to you. She was ranked in the top five among the most talented and successful warriors in the clan, and having her assigned as your bodyguard frustrated both her and you. You tried to initiate a dialogue with her more than once to make it feel less like a duty, but the constant surveillance was starting to infuriate you. As long as this situation continued, gathering information about Lin Kuei would be challenging.

Everything you’d learned so far was superficial. Forbidden from entering the archive, the only way to go unnoticed was to use your powers. To do this, you had to create the appropriate moment, but doubts lingered. Ninjas patrolling and Bi-Han lingered into the late hours of the night. A few nights ago, you observed Cyrax walking around with other ninjas.

After adding the last lines to your letter, you created a crow out of the shadows. The only shining place on the crow, standing in a black state, was its beady eyes, having the same eye color as yours. Stroking the crow’s head and under its chin, you inhaled deeply.

You could already anticipate the response your brother would send, filled with humiliation and pressure to accelerate your progress. But Bi-Han was a unique individual, different from anyone you knew, carrying a bit of each of them but forming a distinct persona.

He was bound by traditions, his clan was more important to him than anything else, maybe even more than himself. Perhaps the woman who poisoned you was genuinely innocent, but even that couldn’t be fully proven. Bi-Han considered eliminating her a reasonable option. Whether he liked it or not, you were his wife now, and you represented Lin Kuei. Everything done to you was directly related to him.

This fact bothered you more than the invasion of your privacy in recent days. You accepted this mission knowing the consequences, but facing the truth turned out differently than you hoped. On the other hand, your mother had always instilled in you from childhood that there is hope in every despair. Maybe it was a sign for you to look at ways to turn this situation in your favor. If you could find a way to take the reins into your own hands, who knows, maybe you could even change the course.

Folding the letter you had written, you stamped your seal on it and handed it to the crow’s beak to carry. Then, with a graceful movement of the wrist, you created a portal in the middle of the room, again from the shadows, commanding the crow with a nod to pass into it.

The crow quietly passed right through the portal after a few flaps of its wings and disappeared out of sight, and the portal disappeared on its own right behind him with its departure.

You stood up with another deep breath. It was about to come to dinner, and when you left your room to go to the table before the others, two ninjas waiting outside the door moved with you.

Since you learned about the temple’s layout, it took you only a few minutes to find the dining room now. When you got to the room, one of the ninjas opened the sliding door for you, and after you entered, they waited outside the room, closing the door behind you.

When you noticed Sektor inside, except for you, you said, ‘‘Good evening.’’ Sektor responded in the same way by making a small greeting with his head.

‘’You’re early today.’’

‘’I’m going on a mission to America tomorrow. That’s why I finished my work early,’’ said Sektor, collapsing into his usual chair. And when you took your place at the head of the table next to Bi-Han, you took a small sip of the water placed in the glass in front of you.

After what happened, you hesitated once or twice about touching something to your mouth, but after seeing the protection provided to you and the precautions taken, this hesitation disappeared in a very short time.

While the water refreshed you and slowly calmed the tension you were feeling because of the letter, you quietly studied Sektor. He had a strong physique like every other warrior in the clan. His long black hair was always massed in a tight ponytail, and his beard was neatly shaved.

You had limited information about him. He wasn’t much of a talker compared to the others; he had a tough stance and judgmental looks, much like Bi-Han. You had heard how fast and ruthless he was when fighting while the members around him were talking among themselves. One of the people Bi-Han trusted the most was Sektor, without a doubt.

‘’How do you feel? You seem to have recovered quite a bit since the last time I saw you.’’

“I am being well taken care of, thank you,” you said with a smile that you hoped seemed convincing. Although most of the clan still viewed you as an outsider, an extension of the enemy clan, you couldn’t ignore the care shown for your health and safety.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

‘’Do you think that woman was innocent?’’ you asked at once.

“What made you think of that question?” Sektor raised one of his black eyebrows, looking at you with a questioning expression. You took another sip of your water before answering, keeping your gaze expressionless.

“Tomas was with me that day, and the woman told him that if he wanted to drink tea, she could bring a cup. I honestly don’t think she would have made such an offer if she had known that there really was poison in it. I may be a stranger to you, but Tomas is one of you, and on top of that, Bi-Han’s brother.’’

‘’You are also his wife,’’ Sektor said, voicing the simple truth.

‘’Yes, but many of you have not yet been able to accept this fact.’’

“Ginger has a pungent smell, a logical material that can be used to make it difficult for you to choose the poison.’’

‘’Still, I really don’t think she’s the one who planned this. Is it right that it was decided to kill her before this was clarified?’’

Sektor, leaning back in his chair, drew a breath so loud that you could hear it. He put his own glass between his fingers, looking into the it with thoughtful eyes.

‘’Our clan is strictly bound by traditions, so the punishments used to be heavier. As a penalty for certain crimes, not only the person but also their entire family was sentenced to death along with them. In the event of an assassination attempt against you, it does not matter whether this person is innocent or not; the fact that they took part in this act is considered quite sufficient reason for their murder.’’ He went on, taking a sip of his water just like you.

‘‘My respect and loyalty to Bi-Han are absolute. After the death of his father, he made great innovations to move the clan forward. But sometimes he can succumb to his anger, and at those moments, even if we try to give him common sense as council members, he won’t hear anyone. It is impossible to change his mind when he makes a decision.’’

‘’Then what does it matter to the council if he is doing what he knows in the end?’’

From the way you asked the question, it was clear that you were really curious about the answer and trying to decipher the dynamic between them. A small smile appeared on Sektor’s face.

“Bi-Han can get angry easily, but he knows his responsibilities better than anyone. He is very strong-willed to fulfill them. Exceptions do not break the pedestal.’’

‘’So you’re saying that under all his scary appearance, he’s reasonable as long as we don’t touch a sore point?’’

‘’Isn’t it just like everybody?’’ Sektor said, the smile on his face widening a little more. ‘’I’m going to tell you a secret, like you, I think the woman is innocent. She doesn’t know who’s behind this.’’ When he said these things, he had made his voice too quiet for those outside to hear. You asked curiously.

‘‘How can you speak so confidently?’’

‘’I was present during the interrogation, and it became evident from the woman’s body language and speech that she had no knowledge of the situation.’’

‘‘And what is the secret part of it?’’

‘’The woman is alive.” Sektor left the glass in his hand on the table, leaned his chin on his clasped hands, and while he continued to talk to you without breaking eye contact, he maintained a dominant presence that held your attention.

‘’How so? Did you disobey Bi-Han’s orders?’’

‘’Partly. To be more precise, I can say I saved the life of an innocent person by taking her away from here.’’

’‘Oh.’’ You sat back, not knowing what to say. ‘’And why did you share this with me? You don’t even trust me.’’

‘’True, but I want to try. After all, you are part of this clan. Trust won’t build on its own, and I believe we need to start somewhere for this.’’

‘’So you’re extending an olive branch, are you?’’

As footsteps, signaling the arrival of others, began echoing in the corridor, Sektor muttered his final words before the doors swung open.

“There is no war between you and me, (y/n). It is true that you are a foreigner, but it is entirely up to you to change this fact.’’

As soon as Sektor concluded his words, the grand doors on both sides of the room swung open wide, revealing the entrance of the clan members. In particular, Bi-Han and the others streamed in with an air of authority. Simultaneously, a dozen helpers, deftly carrying trays of steaming, delectable dishes, entered through the opposite door.

The delicious smell of the feast filled the room, making you more aware of the tempting dishes arranged on the table. As the culinary delights were displayed, your hunger in contrast to the stress you’ve felt since composing a letter in your room, became more noticeable.

While quietly calculating which dish to choose first, you caught Bi-Han’s questioning gaze. He sat down on the chair next to you and asked in his usual cold, deep voice.

‘’What are you doing?’’

Although your cheeks turned pink due to the slight embarrassment of being caught, you didn’t let yourself down. You gently cleared your throat and threw your hair over your shoulder.

‘’They all look perfect. I was trying to decide which one to start first, but I’m having a hard time.’’

Tomas chuckled at your response from the other end of the table.

“I advise you to start with sweet-sour pork. The taste is absolutely legendary.’’

‘’You should taste the spring rolls too. I'm sure you'll like it.’’ Suggested Kuai Liang. He offered you a spring roll with chopsticks, surprising you with his gentlemanliness. Such approaches were rare in your own house, leaving you occasionally disoriented.

‘’She has arms, she can reach her own,’’ grumbled Bi-Han as he filled his plate with food, but no one paid much attention.

‘’Guys, you are all misguiding her. What you really need to try is Peking duck,’’ insisted Cyrax, pointing with his chopsticks to the dish he mentioned. Your cheeks warmed under the attention, marking the first time you didn’t feel truly uncomfortable with it. The interest and relevance they showed unexpectedly warmed your heart.

As everyone chatted and filled their plates, Bi-Han subtly added some tofu to yours without anyone noticing. When you stared at him in surprise, he looked ahead, almost pretending he hadn’t done it, assuming a guarded stance as if suggesting you do the same.

With the surprise lingering on your face, you decided to try the tofu first, popping one into your mouth. The taste was spicier and more bitter than expected, making you express your surprise. Bi-Han, despite taking care of his own food, watched your reaction out of the corner of his eye. You carefully wiped your mouth with a napkin, in case anything was smeared.

‘‘It’s quite hot,’’ you admitted. ‘’Very spicy.’’

‘’The dish you’re eating is called Mapo Tofu. Is it never made in your clan?’’ inquired Bi-Han, now fully attentive and curious about your answer.

‘’This kind of food isn’t cooked in our clan because my father doesn’t like spicy dishes. So, I can’t say it’s a taste I’m familiar with. I’m surprised that you like it too, frankly.’’

“Why?” Bi-Han focused on you, curiosity evident on his face. ‘’If you’re going to attribute it to the fact I’m a cryomancer-‘’

‘’But isn’t it surprising?’’ you interrupted with a small chuckle.

“No.’’

‘’The tofu I just ate was as hot as if it had come out of the dragon’s mouth. You can even spray fire with a few of them.’’

‘’That’s because your taste buds aren’t used to it. Also, according to your illogical understanding, then I should be enjoying tasteless and cold dishes that contain no spices.’’

In an attempt to stifle the laughter welling up inside you, you reached for your refilled water glass and took a substantial sip. The ongoing banter, much like the one Bi-Han had criticized a few days ago when he deemed your stargazing childish, mirrored the very judgment he had passed. However, this time, you opted to continue the conversation rather than shutting it down. It marked the lengthiest exchange Bi-Han had engaged in without sarcasm since your arrival.

‘’Yes, all these things you’re counting also align with your character,’’ you affirmed. Despite Bi-Han’s automatic frown, you maintained a calm, friendly tone without yielding. “Although, on second thought, you’re right; there must be something that feeds your mood. Am I wrong?’’

Before Bi-Han could respond, laughter erupted from Kuai Liang across the table. Tomas, Cyrax, and even Sektor, less overtly, stifled their amusement. Observing their reactions, Bi-Han emitted an irritated growl.

‘‘What the hell are you all looking at? Eat your damn food.’’

A muffled laugh rippled through them, and as Bi-Han exhaled a deep breath of icy smoke, the others refocused on their meals, avoiding further provocation.

The room, adorned with hanging lights casting a warm, soft glow, emanated a tranquil ambiance. A calm conversation filled the space, punctuated by occasional questions that allowed you to participate. Listening to their daily routines and being part of the camaraderie reignited an ache in your heart.

In your own house, women, including yourself and your mother, were barred from active participation in conversations between your father, clan elders and even your siblings. Speaking was deemed great rudeness, and until today, you had adhered to quietly eating your meals and waiting until they concluded. Now, the opposite experience left you offering brief answers, apprehensive of overstepping unfamiliar boundaries.

Fortunately, no one probed into the evasive responses, likely attributing it to lingering shyness. It wasn’t precisely a falsehood, but the unfamiliarity of this environment left you unsure of where the boundaries started and ended, instilling a fear of making mistakes.

‘‘(y/n),’’ Bi-Han’s hoarse voice interrupted your musings. Meeting his gaze, you wondered about the reason for his summons. ‘’Walk with me a little after you’ve finished your dinner.’’

Choosing not to question the motive, you simply responded, ‘’Of course.’’

Half an hour passed, and when the fruit service concluded, Sektor rose first from the table. Cyrax followed about ten minutes later, prompting Bi-Han to stand and signal for you to do the same with a nod. As you left the room after exchanging a ‘goodnight’ with a smile, the two remaining brothers glanced at you with curiosity and questioning expressions.

One of the two ninjas tasked with protecting you handed you a coat as you walked out the door. Surprised by this, Bi-Han caught the expression on your face while you quietly put on the coat that was handed to you and explained.

‘’I asked for the coat to be brought. It’s colder outside than last night.’’

‘’I thought you couldn’t feel the cold.’’

‘’It is so.’’ Bi-Han said simply. The fact that he did not take his intense gaze off you for a moment while saying this did something strange to your heart. You felt the cold like everyone else, but you were trained to be resilient to all kinds of bad conditions and negativity. Although you could tolerate the bitter cold up to a point, there was no need for Bi-Han not to know this fact. And you also liked the unexpected gesture, no matter how much you wanted to deny it.

Fortunately, Bi-Han quickly returned to his usual arrogant mood, making it easier for you to get rid of unwanted feelings.

“After all, birds can’t survive in winter.’’

‘’I’m sure there are a few survival tricks in them that they know.’’ You said, lifting your chin slightly to get a better view of him. Bi-Han’s eyes narrowed in a way that showed he was having fun.

‘‘We’ll see about that.’’

Bi-Han, walking in front, led you from the back terrace into the garden. The cold evening air took away all the warmth from your face, which was warmed inside. The air was fresh and the sky was clear. Since there were not many people walking around, it was calm and quiet. When you arrived almost running to catch up with Bi-Han’s wide steps, you curiously expressed the question you wanted to ask all along.

‘‘Why did you call me over?’’

‘’To talk.’’

‘’To talk?’’

‘’Do you want me to spell it out for you to understand, too?’’

You frowned at his sarcastic reply.

‘‘You could have talked to me at the table, too.’’

During your argument, when Bi-Han slowed down his steps so that you could catch up with him, you started walking next to him. A few seconds passed, and when you realized that Bi-Han would not answer you with a prolonged silence, you sighed, ‘’What do you want to talk about?’’ You asked.

With the question, Bi-Han’s hard, illegible gaze found yours.

‘‘About your family.’’ His brown eyes, very dark in the moonlight, went down to the scar hidden by your turtleneck sweater. Even though he couldn’t see it, you moved restlessly where you were, because it bothered you that he knew where the scar was. ‘‘And your past.’’ Bi-Han said after a while.

“And why should I do that? There is no reason for me to open my private life to you.”

“You are my wife, so it is important that I know everything about you.”

“Oh, really? Then how about it being mutual, grandmaster?” You used a sarcastic tone against him, echoing the attitude he displayed towards you a little while ago. “If you want to exchange information, you should also reveal something about yourself. It can’t be one-sided.”

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” Bi-Han stopped walking. While you couldn’t discern exact anger, his tone hinted at displeasure with the conversation’s direction. It made you smile at least he was beginning to understand that you wouldn’t comply with everything he said.

“Then you may suppose that this conversation is over.” You stated it in a polite but clear tone. Without waiting for Bi-Han to resume walking, you heard him talking behind you as you started walking ahead.

“What do you want to know?”

“There, if you keep on answering like that—wait a minute, what?”

Turning on your heels, you stared with big eyes at Bi-Han, who was standing a little further away, with a confused expression that showed you weren’t sure you had heard correctly.

“What do you want to know?” said Bi-Han calmly, repeating his question. He covered the distance in two big steps, and when he stood in front of you, you tilted your head back slightly and looked at him.

Normally, his hair would have come out of its bun, tufts disheveled and scattered due to the workouts and studies he did during the day. However, at the moment, it caught your attention that it was standing properly, as if he had just collected it. When you caught the smell of soap rising slightly from him, you realized that he had just been washed. He probably should have gone to the hot springs before he came to dinner.

The places where the moonlight touched his face softened his expression with a silvery light, while his shadowed lines were hard and angular. It must have been a cruel trick of fate for such a cold and arrogant man to be blessed with a handsome face.

“Have you always wanted to have this title?” You said, averting your gaze from his eyes, which were surrounded by long black lashes.

“Yes, I’ve been trained for this all my life.”

“It doesn’t seem like an easy life.”

“Success, as I see it, involves the sacrifices we’re willing to make. I grew up knowing that one day, I’d have this title, and I accepted that reality.”

You responded thoughtfully.

“I can imagine it’s a difficult path. Do you believe you make a good leader?”

The unexpected question caught Bi-Han off guard, prompting him to pause and study your face with furrowed brows. As you two continued walking, the snow crunched beneath your steps, your breath visible in the cold air, forming a mist. The temperature dropped further, the chilly air biting at your cheeks and nose.

“Are you making an insinuation?”

“No, I really wonder what you’re thinking.”

Bi-Han’s gaze was aimed at a distant point rather than at you. His face was again darkened with an expression that you could not read.

“I can’t answer that question, but I know what kind of leader I don’t want to be,” he said. His voice was unexpectedly honest. When you were standing in front of a snow-covered bench together, Bi-Han melted the snow with just a hand gesture, leaving it dry enough to sit on.

“My father has always remained closed to innovations throughout his rule of the clan. While technology was advancing every day, he was determined to cling to the traditional ways without adapting to the changes. However, history has shown us that those who do not adapt to innovation are always doomed to extinction. I want to do the right thing for my clan; we have the potential to achieve much more than it seems. Just being content with what is happening will lead to inevitable decline after a while.’’

“I don’t think you will experience such a thing,” you said in a polite voice, picking up where he left off. You were both seated at either end of the bench, with a space between you so decently marked that one person could comfortably enter. “Maybe I’ve been here for about a month, but I can see how much you put your clan at the forefront.”

“What kind of leader do you think I am?”

“Do you want an honest answer or-”

“Honest,” Bi-Han interrupted, not letting you continue your words. “Compared to most people here, you’re not afraid when you talk to me. That’s why I’m curious about your thoughts.”

It was true that you were not afraid because you did not exactly anger him. Unlike a segment that everyone is afraid of seeing and therefore makes sure not to even breathe in the same place as him, you haven’t seen the other side of him yet.

“I would say that you are an ambitious person. You are stubborn and determined, you can stand behind what you believe is right to the end. But at the same time, you are rude and arrogant, you do not allow people to express their own opinions. You intimidate them with fear.”

“I don’t need to hear their thought. I know what’s right better than they do.”

“It’s true that experience makes you different from them, but one of the important features of being a good leader is being able to listen to what others are saying. It’s not just listening, it’s communicating that’s the main thing. Fear is a compulsion, whereas respect is earned.” As your gaze turned to the ornamental pool in the distance, your next words poured from your lips as a whisper. “My father too could never decipher the difference between these two.”

Bi-Han looked at you silently with his chin resting on his clasped hands, leaning his elbows on his legs, which he had spread out from side to side. With this posture, his large, muscular body had shrunk a little, as if he was giving you space to talk more comfortably, trying to make himself look less threatening to you.

‘’What do you mean?’’

“Through fear, you can easily compel someone to obey you, but that person does not willingly open their heart, thoughts, or soul to you. Respect, on the other hand, is the admiration one feels for a person’s qualities, values, and achievements. Being with them gives you strength, they won’t hurt you, and you want to follow them wherever they go. My father was a tough man, and achieving the position of his right-hand man was considered a courageous task. That’s why they were constantly changing like the seasons, as no one wanted to be near him due to fear.’’

While discussing your past without delving into too many details, Bi-Han’s gaze was attentive, as if he was absorbing the most crucial fact of his life. To be more comfortable on the bench, you slightly turned your body to the side, leaning your back against the armrest, bringing your knees close enough to touch each other.

‘’It must have been hard for you.’’ Surprisingly, there was no usual condescending tone in Bi-Han’s voice, instead, it carried sincere understanding—an unexpected development for you.

‘’My mother was my greatest blessing. She was understanding, kind, and caring. In short, she possessed all the characteristics that my father did not have.’’ As your gaze shifted from the ornamental pool to the stars in the sky, your voice trembled with a longing you couldn’t suppress. ‘’I miss her.’’

At that moment, Bi-Han’s knee touched yours. His movement was so slight and imperceptible that, at first, you thought you were imagining it. However, the coolness emanating from him was too realistic to pretend otherwise.

“It seems mothers have always held a different place compared to fathers. My mother was a good person too. She was always a buffer between me and my old man.’’

Against his small consolation, the lump in your throat grew. Why did he start treating you like this? Everything would be easier if he kept acting as he did on the first night you got married. Instead of getting to know him, he should have remained a stranger, all these conversations and tiny gestures should not have happened. You’ve already opened up to even the slightest emotional warmth, and you couldn’t undermine the responsibility you felt towards your mission with your own hands. How would you face your brothers and your clan?

He’s your enemy.

When your brother’s voice hissed inside your mind like a poisonous snake, you quickly composed yourself and straightened your seat.

‘‘Sorry, but I’d better get inside. it’s getting pretty cold. Goodnight, grandmaster. Thank you for this little conversation.’’

Without giving Bi-Han a chance to say anything, you quickly got up from where you were sitting and started walking back towards the temple with brisk steps. All the while, you could feel Bi-Han’s burning gaze on you.

It’s a mission. You said to yourself. Keep your feelings out of your task.

*******

P.S : Their knees touched aaaaaaaaa :3

Tagging @mmeerraa ❤️

[damonjuicyscock]

Playlist-Chapter 15: Stand by me (90s Noel Gallagher X reader)

Pairing: 90s Noel Gallagher X Reader

Warnings: Sad, very sad. Angst, fluff, mentions of pregnancy loss, and death of a loved one, smut (unprotected P in V)

Words: 5211 (I got carried away this time XD)

Summary: After their son's death, Y/N and Noel's couple isn't doing fine. It's tearing them apart, there's only one way to heal.

A/N: Heya Y'all ! Here's chapter 15, I hope you'll like it, as per usual. As I said, it's another important chapter, dealing with pregnancy loss or miscarriage. This is a topic that sometimes isnt taken seriously, or people are told they're exaggerating. It's something that we must talk about. I promise the next chapters will be happier ones ! We're almost at the end of this fanfic (I'd say 4 or 5 chapters left), so soon, I'll finally work on the requests.

Next part this weekend !

Love y'all, take care of yourselves !

Enjoy !

“Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday I've got a lot of things to learn Said I would and I'll be leaving one day Before my heart starts to burn

So what's the matter with you? Sing me something new Don't you know the cold and wind and rain don't know They only seem to come and go away Times are hard when things have got no meaning I've found a key upon the floor Maybe you and I will not believe in The things we find behind the door So what's the matter with you? Sing me something new Don't you know the cold and wind and rain don't know They only seem to come and go away Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows Yeah, nobody knows, the way it's gonna be”

January 1997- London:

I was depressed. So was Noel.

None of us knew how to act with the other. We were barely talking to each other. Andrew’s death shook us.

We moved in the house that would become “Supernova Heights”. And we didn’t have a minute alone for us on the evenings because it quickly became an open nightclub.

Noel wasn’t touching me at all when we were alone, but was all touchy when others were around, and I hated this.

I felt so alone, I didn’t have anyone to talk to.

So I started drowning my sorrow in alcohol, which wasn’t helpful because I ended up crying, then throwing up, and Noel was yelling at me because I was shaming him.

And a night, I lost it.

I became friends with Kate Moss not so long before, during Knebworth, and I was so fucking wasted I wasn’t good to be around.

So, how are you doing sweet Y/N? She asked

Trying to feel good as you can see. I answered, drinking my vodka

Trying? You should feel good with the house you have.

I don’t know if I have to remind you but I’m grieving my son.

Oh I see. But he wasn’t born yet so…

I was shocked.

I was almost 7 months pregnant Kate. It already was a human being.

Y/N, stop talking about this and have fun. Noel said, smiling but squeezing my leg, indicating me I should shut up

I’m sorry for your loss Y/N, truly. But you should try to get through it… She added

And oh, she shouldn’t have.

Listen to me Kate, I really like you okay? you’re a good friend, but you’ll make this kind of comment the day you’ll be pregnant and when your baby will come out fine, because he won’t have been strangled by his own umbilical cord okay? You didn’t lose a baby; you don’t know what it is and how it feels like! I shouted at her, standing up, on the verge of tears

Wait Y/N, it’s not how you should…

Fuck you. In fact, fuck all of you, I’m out of here. I said, leaving the living room

I went to the only room no one had the right to go to, not even me. Noel’s studio. I found Noel’s whiskey bottle and started drinking. I sat on the couch, fixing the ceiling, crying.

A few minutes after, when he saw I wasn’t coming back and after he searched me in the whole house, Noel entered, I heard him closing the door.

Are ye done? He said, coming in front of me, his arms crossed

Done for what?

Moaning like a mardy…

Don’t. seriously, don’t. I interrupted him, chuckling sarcastically

Ye owe fucking apologies to Kate.

I don’t owe owt to anyone! You fucking turned our house into a fucking nightclub without even asking me If I agreed to this, If I wasn’t too depressed or too tired for this because you don’t care and all this because you just don’t want to be alone with me!

Oh stop yer fucking nonsense!

I was sobbing, my heart was in pieces.

My fucking nonsense? You barely talk to me, you don’t touch me, you don’t make love with me, you don’t kiss me except when there’s other people around! Didn’t you think that maybe I needed some time alone with you after what happened? That we need to talk about it? To what fucking happened to our son, our Andy? That I suffer and need your support? No, you just let people come around and decide for me when to talk or when to shut up!

Others don’t need to know about this! Ye think I’m not suffering?

Well if you do, you hide it very well!

I’m just not showing it because it’s not people’s concern!

No it’s ours, but you’re acting like…

Like what? Fucking say it!

Like he never happened! I yelled

A little silence settled in.

In a way he didn’t.

For fuck’s sake Noel, do you even hear yourself?! I said, breaking down even more

We’ll try again!

You think that’s what I want to hear right now?! I don’t even know if I want to try again, especially with a man who doesn’t seem to care about his son or isn’t even grieving him.

Don’t ye dare saying that!

Please, just go back to your people. I need to be alone. I need to think.

About what?

Our future.

I just… need to think.

He sighed and left the room, slamming the door.

Is this alcoholic woman was who I wanted to become? Is this grieving and depressed woman was who I was supposed to be?

No, it wasn’t me. It wasn’t like me. I couldn’t and wouldn’t be.

After drinking the whole bottle and throwing up, I fell asleep like a little shit on the sofa in Noel’s studio.

*

The next morning, the smell of tea and someone caressing my face woke me up.

Mornin’ love. Noel said as I opened my eyes

Mornin’. I answered, shitfaced

I made ye a cuppa. He answered, handing it to me

Thanks.

I took it and drank. I was dehydrated. Noel cleared his throat.

So hum… did ye think well?

I looked at him with a jaded look.

Yeah I did. But you know, you can do better to try to have a chat with me.

Yea, ye’re right, soz. It’s just that… I don’t know how to act after being such a jerk last night.

Well I understood that. And to give you a proper answer, yes, I thought a lot.

And ye’re going to break up with me and leave, don’t ye? He said, lowering his head, so I wouldn’t see his eyes fill up with tears

I grabbed his face in my hands.

No Noel, I’m not planning to. But… I think we both need some space for a few. You have an album to finish, and we both need to get better. To heal. I’m going to leave for a few. I’ll be at Liam and Patsy’s. She has a kid so I think she might understand what I’m going through, and she’ll have good advice and methods to get better. By your side you also need to work on this. I know Andy’s death shook you too and that you’re suffering but you’re trying to make it all disappear with parties and drugs and alcohol.

Yea, ye’re right. He said, tears running down his face

I kissed him.

I think it might be the solution for us. We tried to face the situation, but it was too painful for us. It’ll save us, for a better future.

Noel sighed.

How long? He asked

I don’t know. The time we need to heal.

I can’t live without ye, and I need ye to heal Y/N.

I can’t live without you neither, that’s why I’m doing this. Or it will tear us apart. I’m not letting you go again.

Neither do I. Never.

I prepared a suitcase with the stuff I needed and left, kissing Noel’s cheek.

Don’t forget that I love you. I said before leaving

I won’t. And I hope you won’t too.

I gave him a weak smile, closed the door and walked to the nearest tube station.

*

When I rang at Liam’s door, a little boy opened the door.

Hello! He said, smiling

Oh hey there, you must be James! Is your mam here?

Yes, but who are you? He asked

I’m Y/N, I’m a friend.

Mommy! Y/N’s here! He shouted

Y/N? She answered, surprised

She came out of the kitchen, flour all over her clothes, and a bit on her cheek.

Heya! I said, embarrassed

Hey, what are you doing here?

I…um…

She saw my suitcase.

Come in, we’ll have a chat. I’m preparing a cake if you want to join. It’s good therapy.

She took my suitcase, putting it in the living room, and put cartoons for James to watch while we both went to the kitchen.

You did a good job with your son. He’s so cute, polite and careful.

Yes I know. Well his father also did a great job.

He’s Jim Kerr’ son, right?

Yup. She answered, insisting on the letter P

Well you raised him well.

Thank you.

A silence settled in. Patsy saw my sad look.

What’s going on in this little head of yours darling? She asked

Well huh… I hope you and Liam will accept to let me stay here for a bit… I know I came unannounced but…

Of course you will, you’re family. Now get to the main topic and mix the vanilla with the cream please. She interrupted me, handing me a bowl

I obliged and felt tears invade my eyes immediately.

Noel and I are not doing fine.

The opposite would have surprised me.

There are always people in the house, I don’t know most of ‘em. Noel is here, partying, alcohol and drugs never miss, he’s all touchy, smiling and laughing, but during the rare occasions we’re alone, he doesn’t talk to me or touches me, it’s like he’s even avoiding me…

I see…

And what happened yesterday was too much. I just… lost it. You know during Knebworth that I befriended Kate Moss. She was there yesterday. She made me feel like a fucking mardy get because when she asked how I was doing, I told her the truth. Noel told me to shut up, and Kate added the sentence she shouldn’t have said.

Which was?

“You should try to get through it”. I answered, imitating her

Oh shit.

So like I said, I just lost it. I got… so angry. I was mean and I escaped to Noel’s studio where I’m not supposed to go, it’s his space. But it was the only room I could go to be alone. And then Noel joined me and we argued. He told me the sentence I don’t want to hear. I’m not able to hear it yet. The famous “we’ll try again”. As if Andy never existed. So I got drunker, cried, threw up, thought and thought and thought again before passing out. And when thinking, I just saw who I was becoming, and I don’t like it. I don’t want to become this bloody alcoholic, this woman drowning her sorrow in liquid. So I told Noel that we need some time for ourselves, so our couple can get better. Because I love him so much Patsy. I don’t want us to be torn apart again…

Oh I know that you love him. And I understand. But you need to be at peace with your mind and body again. You were going to have a baby, that’s who Andy was. He was already a little human still growing in you, a person, you were excited, you wanted him. And just like that, he was taken away from you. You’re grieving. You’re grieving your son, who he was going to be, you’re grieving the mother you were about to be to him. And that’s perfectly normal. It’s as if you were grieving any loss A parent, a cousin, a cat… No one has to decide for you when it has to stop. But you have the power to do it, and for it, you need time. And of course you’re not done grieving only three months after. It’s common sense. Only a mother, even when she was a mum to be and technically in her heart, already a mum can understand this kind of grief.

She said everything. I felt less crazy. My situation was beyond normal. I broke down and she took me in her arms.

Thank you… I said

For what? For saying the truth?

Yes. Everyone except my mum, Peggy and you made me feel it wasn’t normal.

But it is. And Noel is also grieving. You both tried to face it but it’s too painful and you need to take time for yourselves.

That’s what I think, yes.

And you’re goddamn right.

*

When Liam was back home, we chatted, us three. It felt good to be understood. He wasn’t happy with his brother’s behaviour.

Fucking scouse schlepper. I know I can be a pain in the ass most of the time, me. But I would never behave like that. I don’t think he really remembers what our mam has been through. I know it’s something else, but I remember the nights where we could hear her scrinkin’ ‘cause she was struggling to make ends meet, to keep a roof over our heads, to feed us, to raise us despite all the shite we were doing and problems we were bringing her. From the moment she knew she was pregnant with each of us three, she loved us and already was our mam. She was so fucking scared of losing us and that the social services would come and take us away from her.

I already know all that Li’.

I know, it’s just to say that his behaviour towards ye has been fucking rank. Sometimes I wonder if he remembers where he fucking comes from.

He’s hurt too Li’…

He maybe is. But what is it right, is that he’s being a teetotal arsehole. Anyway. Ye know ye can stay here as long as you want, ye’re me sister Y/N. But I think ye need holidays. Like in Spain or summat like that, under the sun. Somewhere where ye’ll feel godlike.

And I’ll accompany you. Patsy added

It would be great, but I don’t earn enough for that.

I’ll pay everything fer ye.

Oh come on cock, you’re not going to…

I will. Ye saved me life countless of times Y/N. Let me do the same fer ye.

*

Patsy and I left two days after, when James went back to his father’s. We went to Malaga, in the south of Spain. It was sunny and hot. We would stay there for a full month. Sat on the terrace of the rented house on the hill, I was admiring the landscapes around. I could see the mere horizon and the silhouette of the African continent that wasn’t so far.

Have you ever been to Africa? I asked

Not yet, but I hope one day I will. Patsy answered

Me too. I always imagine the Lions, elephants, zebras or giraffes and the Saharan desert like it is told to us when we’re young folks, when you learn it at school or when you see it on TV. But I think there’s so much more to see.

Oh there is! What we’re learning or are always told is that the Saharan desert is only sand, but in truth it’s mainly rocky.

I know! In fact, us Europeans don’t know much about Africa. You and I should go together one day.

With pleasure! Oh get ready! She said, looking at her watch

Ready for what?

To get pampered! We’ve got spa and massages.

Wait, what the… Did Liam also pay that?

Yeah he did.

But it must be so expensive!

He just wants you to heal and feel better.

A massage won’t heal me. It always feels good though. But I’m still going to fucking kill him.

*

Three weeks later, the owner of the rented house came to give me a package. I opened it. I was surprised to find a CD with a word. It was from Noel. I could recognize his handwriting.

“Finally finished this song, It’ll be on the album. Please, give it a go. I love you with all my being and beyond. Tenderly, your Noely.”

On the CD was written the title. “Stand by me (mustique demo)”

I first heard the song in 1994 during a soundcheck in Japan.

I went to the living room where a CD player was. I put it in and pressed on play.

Patsy heard the intro of the song and sat on the stairs.

Is that… she started

Yup, a new song. It’s an Avant premiere.

It seems to be a special one since it was Noel who sent it to you, am I wrong?

No you’re not. And indeed, I think it might be one, yeah.

“ Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday I've got a lot of things to learn Said I would and I'll be leaving one day Before my heart starts to burn”

What does he mean? Patsy asked

After Noel saved me from Kenneth, he took care of me. Peggy tried to give him some advice to cook us meals to make sure we were eating properly. One day he cooked us a Sunday roast and it led to food poisoning. We vomited for two days. After that we came back to pot noodles.

Oh!

And then, the chorus.

“Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows the way it's gonna be Stand by me, nobody knows Yeah, nobody knows, the way it's gonna be” 

I started crying. Noel was really scared to lose me. He was really scared I would leave him. But I wouldn’t.

Hey, are you okay? Patsy asked, when she saw my tears

Yeah, just got a bit emotional that’s all.

Oh, come here. She said, opening her arms to me

I found refuge in them.

“If you're leaving will you take me with you? I'm tired of talking on my phone There is one thing I can never give you My heart will never be your home”

Here he’s alluding to when we were first together, when he left for tour with the Inspiral carpets. We were calling each other everyday but it wasn’t enough to save our couple. He’s also talking about the fact we’re both clawing to our independence and a certain freedom. That’s even why he doesn’t want me to hang around in his studio at home and it’s perfectly understandable. Though, he’s lying a bit too because our hearts are each other’s home.

He’s talented. He knows what he’s writing.

Well at least here, yes.

What do you mean?

I mean that cocaine and alcohol might have helped during the creation of some songs. Like for Wonderwall and Champagne Supernova for example. They are masterpieces, no one is gonna deny that, but the lyrics are nonsense. Everyone feels these songs in their heart and give them the meaning they want. But if you ask people what the lyrics mean after a dictionary, they’re going to look at you and answer “in fact, I don’t know shit”. I feel like Noel didn’t realise it yet.

You’re right. You really are. Your analysis is clever.

*

Two nights after, I was watching the movie Highlander, and I was singing out loud everytime a Queen song was coming in the movie.

At the middle of it, I heard a noise that wasn’t part of it. I paused the movie and listened closely. The noise happened again.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! I said to myself

Rocks at my window. And it surely wasn’t Patsy.

I opened the window and stepped back.

Not this time me love; I saw ye open the window. He said

I approached.

What the hell are you doing here Gallagher? I asked

I… I miss ye. I wanted to see this pretty face of yers.

Jeez! I miss you too Noel, but please, respect my choices, I told you I would be coming back when I’ll be ready.

And I know ye enough to tell this day will never come. I’m actually losing ye. I can’t let that happen. Can I come in? I have two gifts for ye.

I hesitated.

No, Patsy might be sleeping. Wait for me, I’m coming to you. Just let me put on a jacket.

I couldn’t find my jacket, so I grabbed a plaid and put it on my shoulders. I went downstairs and opened the door. Here he was, standing.

Hey beautiful. He said

Hey. I answered

I took him in my arms and held him tight. I missed him too, but a part of me was still desperate because of what happened to us and because of what he told me.

Do ye… want to take a walk? I t could be good, and we could chat? He asked

Yeah, that’s a good idea. There’s a small forest in there. I said, indicating my left

I closed the front door behind me, and we started walking.

So… how are ye doing? He asked, not knowing where to start

I’m okay. Trying to get better. What about you?

I’m fine. I’m working a lot, so it doesn’t give me time to… think about it.

About him, Noel, not about it. Just say things as they are. What happened to us? Before Andy, we could communicate and say things as they were…

I didn’t mean “it” love. I just didn’t know if ye were ready to hear me say “him”.

Ready or not, he was our son Noel. Not just an object. I just don’t know how you function on this one.

Well I’m still coping with it, me. I knew ye never meant to sound selfish because I know ye’re not. But it shattered me too Y/N. And I didn’t know how to talk about Andy without making ye scrink, knowing it was already what ye were doing before sleeping and when waking up. It broke me heart to know our son died, and yer cries were breaking it more. He’s gone and there’s nothing more we can do.

But since it shattered you that much Noel, why did you say “we’ll try again” when you’re apparently grieving him? And why not talking about this with our supposed friends who are invading your house everyday?

Because they wouldn’t understand. Only us two know what it is and what it feels like. And I’m soz fer saying we’ll try again. It’s a sensitive topic fer us both and I want us to get through it. And we will, with time. Ye’re right we need to talk about Andy. And when I was telling ye I was starting to lose ye, I was right. Ye don’t call our home “our house” but mine. And if I didn’t come here, I’m sure you would never come back, because you’ll think we wouldn’t talk about Andy. We have lost a baby, that’s true. But I want this event to make our couple stronger. I want to marry ye, no matter what and have a family with ye.

I chuckled.

Noel, what you’re saying is beautiful, but you’re oh so blind. I answered

And why so?

You haven’t touched me in months! When we hugged a few minutes ago it was the first time since October! You haven’t kissed me. When I was scrinkin’, you were downstairs with your buds, drinking and snorting cocaine! Words are beautiful, but what about acts?

A silence settled in.

Sex isn’t what ye need when ye’ve lost…

Oh shut your cake ole. Stop finding excuses.

Ye’re right, I fucked up and I apologize. And don’t think I hold ye responsible fer Andy because it’s not yer fault. I know ye enough to know ye feel guilty. So please, don’t.

I think I needed to hear this. Because he was right. I felt guilty deep inside. And I needed him more than that. It just couldn’t and wouldn’t go like this. Not without his support.

Promise me.

Promise what?

That’s you’ll finally support me.

That’s why I’m here. And also to give ye this.

As we arrived in the dark forest, Noel took out too things of his pocket. The first was a medallion with Andy’s hand imprint. He insisted on doing it after his death. Just this should have made me understand he was in pain too. He put the necklace around my neck. Tears invaded my eyes.

Thank you. I said

He showed me his neck. He had the same.

He’s with us both.

The second gift was my engagement ring that I forgot in London.

And also this because I can’t let ye forget we’re a fucking team and I still really want to marry ye. I’ll support ye no matter what. I love ye Y/N. I fucking love ye beyond anything. We can get through it. I’ve been an arsehole and I’m so soz, because ye know this is not who I really am.

I couldn’t resist the urge to kiss him. I just brought my lips to his and held him as tight as I could. He kissed me back and did the same. I started peppering his neck with kisses and he gasped. He wrapped his arms around my waist. When I stopped, I guided his body to the grass. He sat down, and I hovered him, kissing him again. I put my hands on both sides of his face, while he wrapped his arms around me again. I quickly felt him get hard under me.

Noel…

I want ye too Y/N. I need ye. Touch me… He answered

I unbuckled, unzipped and unbuttoned his trousers. I put my hand on his hard bulge and started massaging it.

He moaned lowly, before squeezing my ass and kissing my neck.

He stopped my hand and pushed me away before putting the plaid I had on my shoulders away and sliding down my nightdress off. He looked at my body.

Ye’re so goddamn beautiful. I hope ye know it.

And so are you, handsome.

I helped him get rid of his jacket and tee before dealing with his jeans and boxers.

When we were both naked, he started kissing me again, putting me on top of him again.

Tell me… He said

Tell you what?

Tell me what ye want me to do and I’ll do it.

You know what I want.

I’d like to hear it. I need to hear it.

I put my mouth near his hear.

I want you to make love to me Noely.

He took his member in his hand and guided himself inside me.

We both moaned in unison.

Are ye okay?

I haven’t felt this good in months. I answered

He started rolling his hips against mine, as I put my arms around his neck, enjoying the heat and the passion of our reunion. It as slow and tender. What we both needed.

Oh god… yes… Noel moaned

It was as if our lives depended on it. Our hands were roaming on each other’s body.

It was strong. It was powerful. Full of love.

I love you Noel. I said between moans

He went deeper with his thrusts, making me moan loudly as he touched my G-spot. I felt his arms getting tighter around me.

Our moans and the sound of our bodies slapping against each other were filling the forest and slightly echoing.

I felt myself getting closer to my orgasm as Noel’s member hit my sweet spot everytime. My walls were contracting around him, causing him to lose the rhythm of his movements.

Give it to us, love. Make us cum. Ye know we need it. Please.

I arched my back to give him a better angle, his hands on it.

He panted in my mouth, his eyes closed, his face slightly contorsioning with pleasure.

It was all I needed to be thrown over the edge. It felt so intense that tears invaded my eyes again, and sobs, sobs of pleasure mixed with moans took over.

A familiar coil exploded in my lower stomach, as I shut my eyes, tears spilling from them, my insides convulsing around Noel’s manhood.

I didn’t know it was as intense for me that it was for Noel, who cried out, sobbed, and finally groaned in pleasure, before emptying himself inside me.

My head fell in the crook of his neck, that was wet with sweat and… tears?

I looked at him. He was crying, just like me.

You scrinkin’? I asked, catching my breath

Yea… He answered

Why?

Because it was too much. And because I love ye so fucking much I would die without ye. I was so scared to lose ye again.

We’re scrinkin’ for the same thing.

Good. Means we’re connected.

He softened inside me, so I pulled out. We lay next to each other in the grass, Noel covering us with the plaid.

I really want to marry ye. Let’s do it when the occasion will let us.

I agree on that.

But let’s be clear on summat. I’m not doing or saying this to make ye me property or because I’m scared to lose ye. Ye’ll always belong to yerself. I’m doing and saying this because I love ye, I want us when the time will come again to have our family, and I want ye to stand by me.

And I will. Nobody knows the way it’s gonna be, huh?

He smiled, knowing now that I listened to the song.

No, nobody knows. But at least, we’ll be together.

[monsieuroverlord]

My honest reaction to this week's comics:

Spoilers Under the Cut:

Wolverine #50:

FREEDOM!

The ending wrapped up a little too neat, much like X-Force did.

Basically, before the battle against Graydon could even comence, Sabretooth got him first with a lethal blow.

I was kind of expecting a bit of a fight, but okay.

Also, Logan's a godddamn hypocrite:

How much have the writers just kind of glossed over? I'm guessing they've never read Remender's X-Force at minimum.

Like, Logan acting like killing your own son is inconceivable? It would've made more sense for Logan to harp on his angst regarding his own son here.

Sabretooth lures Logan to the heart of former Krakoa to be captured by the residue pit, but it just ripped his armor off.

But the side purpose of the armor is to reactivate his healing factor (because fuck it, of course it is).

The X-Force crew subdues Sabretooth, but Logan faces him one-on-one, and hacks him to bits as revenge.

This panel was actually a cool visual (artist did amazing):

With Akihiro front and center :(

And also Logan realizes (once again) that he's happier with "family" -- both found and blood family.

Laura doesn't get to react to her brother's death.

Phoebe turns off the Quire-head device (but we already know he's going to be resurrected anyway)

No Beaubier twin cameos.

Even Logan's man-pain is absolutely glossed over. Weirdly, he's not hating himself enough for a man who just lost his beloved son.

(I thought we were pretending that everything was fixed off-panel and he loves his son)

(The only other Akihiro cameo in this book. At least he doesn't have a beer this time)

Like, I know denial is a stage of grief, and its not unheard of to compartmentalize things, but we could still have had a moment where Logan just ~breaks~ at the end, you know? Like it all comes flooding in after the war is over and won.

I'm sorry, the ending was weirdly too hopeful for my tastes. It comes across as very shallow to me.

In general, I think the writing between Akihiro and Logan just lacks a lot of depth.

The most we've gotten from this writer is a brief mention or small moment here or there -- for example Jeff Bannister had mentioned once that Logan told him about Itsu during one of their hang-out sessions (from the Wolverine ongoing). Or Logan conisistently referring to Akihiro as "my son" with a more positive connotation.

There's just no real depth being built between Logan and Aki -- not even in monologue form. No reflection on how his son has grown and changed, become a hero, no thoughts on Itsu -- there used to be a time when Logan couldn't even look at his son without thinking about Itsu.

Its not like Akihiro was a product of a one-night stand -- he was originally a WANTED child. Logan not only married Itsu, but also knew he was gonna be a father before all that shit went down.

I'm just not seeing the expected reactions of man who was granted the opportunity to reconnect with his long-lost child in a relatively healthier format, only to lose him AGAIN. After implied healing progress was finally made. AND in a BRUTAL fashion -- that alone should be tramatizing.

Just in general, the writing style is great for a comic book format, but also, I think a lot of the plotline choices/character development are lacking if you've read up on Akihiro (and other characters in general -- Laura is written a little odd, like a mini-Logan)

As far as the side story by Larry Hama/Daniel Picciotto -- it was fun. It was a nostalgia trip. I have nothing to add and I liked it.

We also got ink pages (unlettered/uncolored) for the upcoming Wolverine series out in September -- Kurt is tracking down Logan, who is living with wolves again.

Hellverine #1

Oddly, I don't completely hate it yet. Like this issue had quality set-up, but its weird. The plot choices are weird. The implications of what's happening are weird. It's all weird. It's too weird to bash yet.

But its not bad writing, in terms of quality. The story flows well, it kept my interest -- but I still have reservations regarding upcoming plot deicisions.

Essentially, Akihiro, possessed by the spirit of Bagra-Gul, is going around hunting bad guys -- human traffickers, a corrupt priest, a cannibalistic supper club, etc.

The secret underground Pentagon organization is also trying to figure out the Hellverine is doing. They had harnessed Hellfire and infused into a bunch of of deceased elite soldiers--who immediately went rogue and escaped. But Aki/Hellverine showed up and tried to stop them -- presumably sensing the Hellfire stuff going on. But they managed to blow him up and escape while he healed.

In response, the Pentagon organization captured Logan, believing him to be the Hellverine (to be fair -- in the demon form, it looks a lot like him with a flaming skull). The head of the org interrogated him, lying about the Hellfire soldiers' origin, so Logan agreed to help him locate the Hellverine to take the soldiers down. Upon reviewing the video -- particularly at the moment of explosion, Logan recognized his son's tattoo.

The issue ends on a cliffhanger, with Aki going "flame-off" to reveal his beautiful face.

So Aki is NOT part of the secret underground Pentagon organization like I thought. He is an oddity. I'm assuming as this progresses, we'll find out why -- I'm currently assuming its an old shell, like a Krakoan era resurrection that was never disposed of properly, you know? Then mix it with demon-magic.

I still don't get the all the stitches -- I mean, if its an old shell, it would explain the mohawk (I miss the long, fluffy hair already. I mean, I guess the mohawk is more iconic, but he already has a unique tattoo, let him change up his style for a bit longer. I never got my messy hair-down panel ☹) .

But also, he 100% looks like Logan with a flaming skull in his demon form. Like, the tattoo canonically disappears, and he's short and hairy, and has Logan's claw placement.

The implications of it are weirding me out -- like I know Aki canonically has his father's shoulders, but he's taller and I've always headcanoned him having a relatively slimmer/wiry build overall. Mostly taking after his mama with hints of his father here and there. I guess it could be explained away with demon magic transformation, but I don't know how I feel yet. (like it would be weird to be specifically transformed into your father, right?)

The explanation for Bagra-Gul is that bonding to Logan fundamentally changed him -- as in, as a demon, Bagra-Gul still feeds on pain and violence, but now tinged with a sense of twisted justice so he feeds on the sinners/scum of the earth and taking the same demonic pleasures.

Does this mean Akihiro is also feeling his father's influence on Bagra-Gul? Is Bagra-Gul influenced by Akihiro at all? Does Aki know what he's doing? Is there even Aki's soul in there, or is it just an empty shell for a demon?

I guess we'll have to wait and see?

However, I am 100% worried with how this is going to play out. (Especially considering its likely the writer was planning this out since the beginning of the Sabretooth War arc)The Hellverine mini lines up perfectly to the relaunch of the Wolverine series. And I know I've said it before, but Logan only turns his back on civilization for two reasons: braining-washing or grief (or both.)

The caption teaser for Hellverine #4 is as folllows:

"HELLVERINE VS. WOLVERINE! BAGRA-GHUL has come for LOGAN's soul, but when the heat is on, who will survive - the HELLVERINE or the WOLVERINE?"

I really just hope it is just a fake-out and it means purifying Akihiro's soul and not making Logan kill him again. I am so tired. (and Aki gets to keep the character growth -- no hard reset making him a villian again)

But it really seems like they want Logan to hate himself for some reason and wouldn't be the first time they made him kill his son (or kids in general) to make him feel bad.

Or even just kill a shell of his son could be just enough -- Logan has never needed much to trigger the self-loathing.

Its lining up a little too well for comfort, if that makes sense.

I just want to be hopeful. Such as, maybe now that Akihiro is relatively front and center for this mini, we'll actually get some proper father-son relationship development. Maybe it'll end nicely wrapped up on a positive note -- where Akihiro is resurrected, relatively fine, and set up to join a new team, such as one of the books that hasn't been announced yet (Editor Tom Brevoort mentioned in an interview that there are still "first wave" new era books that haven't even been announced yet)

[untaemedqueen]

At Your Service

Escort!Jeongguk x CEO!Reader

Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Chapter 8.

Series Warnings (Will Be Updated): Angst, Fluff, Cold Heartedness, Emotional Trauma, Healing, Smut, Dark Humor

The mansion you're currently standing in is completely different from yours. The amount of people in this place is incredibly different for one. It's also so bright in here that it almost makes your eyes hurt.

There's regal looking paintings lining the walls with heavily decorated gold frames accompanying their expensive stature. Marble statues stand atop marble pedestals in romantic positions and you're not even close to becoming comfortable here.

But the person by your side is even more uncomfortable than you at the moment.

"Oh my God, let's just leave," Jeongguk hisses, draping his arm over your shoulders.

He hasn't been in this home for many years, just even breathing the same air as his grandmother is something he thought he would never do again. In some way, he's reverting back to the small nervous child he once was. He hasn't had much time to think about what he would say to the madam of the house nor has he strengthened his will enough to stay here.

But you're comforting him, his lips still tingle with fresh, raw emotions from the make out session in the car. He needed that to calm down -- he needed you to calm down.

Jeongguk has been thinking about you far more often than his mind would care to admit. Pretending that you're his girlfriend seems easier and happier than he could have hoped for and it's hurting his brain to remember that he can't take you home after all this.

Guk doesn't know if you would even want that but he does know that he does. He wouldn't mind taking you home and peeling this black dress off your body like you're the only Christmas present he would want.

"You know we can't do that," you mumble, moving out of the way for a waiter to pass with a tray of hors d'oeuvres.

"But Wednesday," the escort whines, putting his forehead to your shoulder sullenly.

"Let's just deal with your grandmother and then we can leave and go do something else," you promise, coursing your fingers through his hair.

It's almost like it's something second nature all of a sudden. Your fingers just moved toward him without any thought that it could be wrong or awkward. And he doesn't give you any negative reaction to it, instead he sighs happily, moving the arm on your shoulders to encircling your hips and pulling you close.

"Let's step into one of the closets or something, I need more kisses," he mumbles, putting his forehead to yours.

Once again, his scent drifts over you like a shroud of comfort. It's strange to you that you're not pulling back wildly with nervousness fleeting over every vein within you.

"We could get caught," you try to reason with him.

"That'd be hot," he counters with a small, devious smirk.

"I don't think these type of people would approv-"

"Well, I'm shocked to see you."

Jeongguk snaps up straight like a stick, turning on his heel to meet the voice that's riddled with judgemental tones.

His hand struggles to grasp for yours, his fingers fumble and itch until finally you're able to intertwine with him. Your palm lays flat and comfortable against his, thumb stroking the back of his hand with soothing intentions.

The woman before you holds herself elegantly, her hair is raven black and cut into a bob around her jawline. The way her eyebrows notch together quizzically already tells you that she's spent a lifetime judging others, the wrinkles give her away.

Poor Guk beside you is two seconds away from shaking like a leaf. He looks like he's about ready to pass out. You can't imagine the anger and anxiousness that's rooted deep within his chest.

You can only imagine what choice words he wishes he could say if he wasn't frozen stiff with fear.

His grandmother doesn't even acknowledge you, which is fine because it gives you more time to study her.

"Hello," the escort whispers softly, bowing his head respectfully.

"Hello, grandson," she breathes, turning on her heel and ushering the both of you to follow.

"Oh fuck," he hisses, running his free hand over his face.

"It's okay," you promise, "I'm here."

"I know," he mumbles, kissing your temple and pulling you along to follow her.

Finally, after several minutes of wading through the guests of the house you find yourself in the grand office of the mansion.

There's awards and certificates on the wall, pictures of his grandmother with famous people and first prototypes of the kimchi containers that made her rich in the first place within glass cases.

Once again, she does not acknowledge you or her grandson, if you're being honest, while she sits down at her large glass desk.

Jeongguk leads you over to your chair first, waiting until you sit down to do so as well.

When his back meets the chair, he can feel his organs within him shaking so violently that he's not sure if he'll ever be able to get back up again.

His grandmother pulls out a fan, the length of it expanding all at once with a sharp noise that has Guk wincing in an instant. She purses her lips, leaning back into her chair to bore her eyes into her grandson's face.

The fan moves leisurely within her grip, sending pieces of black hair blowing in symmetrical swirls around her face.

She picks up a small bell and rings it daintily between her thumb and index finger before returning her gaze to Jeongguk. You aren't sure whether she's trying to break him down with one quick look or if she's trying to assess what he's going through.

A butler steps into the doorway with white gloves covering both his hands politely at his sides.

"A bottle of Veuve and three glasses," she orders dully.

So she does acknowledge that you're here but she's purposefully ignoring you like it's all a part of some sort of plan.

The silence begins to creep in after the butler leaves, the muted groan of hundreds of conversations just outside the office doors breach past your ears and while it's putting the escort beside you on edge, this is comfortable for you.

You look down at your long gloves, fixing them properly before placing them in your lap.

Finally, the madam of the home gets bored with her meek acting grandson and turns her attention to you.

You give her a polite smile, leaning back in your chair and crossing your legs.

You're ready for anything if you're being honest, whether that be confrontation or just a simple introduction.

"Do you… work with my grandson? Do you do what vile things he does?" she inquires pointedly, snapping her fan shut.

Jeongguk looks up as if he's been cracked with a whip, his eyebrows furrow painfully as if her words have burned him but he stays silent nonetheless, looking to you for your answer.

"I don't work with him, no. I'm his girlfriend. And to me, he's not vile nor is what he does vile," you reply, folding your hands in your lap.

She hums out quizzically, looking over your garments with intrigue written all over her face.

"I see, so you could afford these clothes yourself then? Without the help of someone who lays on their back to get their money?"

Your insides are beginning to boil with the hottest of fires, you're unsure if your irises have turned bright red like a devil waiting to tear into this woman but what you do know is that you fucking wish you could.

She has no sense of anything kind in her personality at all.

"As far as I'm concerned, Jeongguk hasn't laid on his back in quite a long time. But I can afford these clothes myself, I own a business."

Her head seems to tilt curiously at your words and it seems with the tight lipped smile she gives that she's going to enjoy this confrontation.

"And what sort of business is that?" his grandmother purrs, leaning down onto her desk.

"I own a wine business," you reply.

"And your net worth?"

"None of your business, actually."

Jeongguk takes a sharp breath between his teeth, flitting his eyes from your face to his grandmothers like he's watching some sort of ping pong tournament.

"And I should assume that you're with my grandson on your own accord?"

"Why would you assume anything otherwise? It's not like he's willing to divulge the fact that his grandparents are rich while he grew up poor."

Guk takes you in then, the gentle fall sun highlights your silhouette so gently and it only begins to sing out to him when your face becomes fierce with protective intentions.

You want to keep him safe, you want to fight for him and he can see it as plain as day.

"I didn't expect my grandson to start dating such a hard headed woman."

"I'm not hard headed -- I'm hard working. I take what I want and I'm not apologetic for that."

Jeongguk picks at some skin on his lip, tilting his head to see how absolutely earth shatteringly gorgeous you look defending his honor. If he could sigh sweetly, believe him, he would.

"Baby," he calls to you softly.

The pet name has your head snapping to look at him and he smiles sweetly at your pinched face.

Jeongguk slowly shakes his head as if to tell you that it's not worth it and you simply shrug before folding your arms and huffing out impatiently.

She's getting on your fucking nerves, he's certainly not wrong about her in any sense of the word.

His grandmother simply blinks at the interaction between you both.

How could it be so warm and endearing when the space between you both is as far as it is?

Is this something serious or is it something that can be picked apart by just a few words?

When the butler returns with the bottle, the madam of the house simply nods to it. "You run a wine business, why don't you open it?"

While you begin to pull the cage off, the older woman decides to test the waters the only way she knows how.

"Chloe is here," she notifies her grandson.

"Yeah, I know," he huffs out, "we saw her."

"And what did she think of your new woman?" his grandmother prods.

"Who cares what she thinks? She doesn't know her ass from her elbow," he gripes.

You can only roll your eyes, slowly letting the bottle do the work to push the cork out of the mouth.

"If you begged for her back, maybe she would accept you," she drolls.

The sharp inhale through your nose makes Jeongguk cringe and in a second he's standing to comfort you.

There's not a split second where you both remember that this is fake, you're invested in this somehow -- you both are.

"I don't want to beg her for anything. She doesn't deserve me. I found a woman who likes and cares for me as I am now! Besides, she's married to Holdritch."

"Hamish," his grandmother corrects him.

"Whoever," he murmurs, crouching down beside you to take the wrappings and cage from your hand.

"My girlfriend is smart and beautiful, strong and brave as hell. Chloe can't even compare to a single cell in her body. So, just because you don't respect me, grandmother, please don't disrespect my significant other."

The champagne bottle makes a slow hiss when the cork comes out and it seems to echo throughout the room while Guk waltz over to the trash can to get rid of the rubbish.

"I see," the older woman breathes, leaning back in her chair.

"What are your intentions with my grandson then, uh…"

"Y/N, her name is Y/N. You were bickering with her five minutes ago and you don't even know her name," the escort hisses, draping himself over the top of your chair and putting his hands on your shoulders.

You're immediately comforted by his presence, basking under the heat of his hands like a lizard under the molten sun.

"What are your intentions with Jeongguk, Y/N?" his grandmother inquires, pouring three glasses of champagne.

"To love him," you announce.

The way his hands clench at your shoulders makes you want to cave in immediately, you want to shove the chair out of the way and squeeze him so tightly that the air between you both has no chance of escaping.

"Well then. She's passed the test," his grandmother smiles, handing you both champagne glasses.

"Test?" Guk blinks confused.

"Yes, the test that not even Chloe ever passed. If you recall her answer was, 'treat him like he deserves me.' Which is incredibly inappropriate."

Sounds like Chloe.

You roll your eyes heavily, optng to take a sip of the bubbly alcohol instead of releasing the string of obscenities you wish to.

"So you being… rude to my girlfriends has always been a test?" Guk blurts out, scratching at his neck confused.

"To put it simply, yes. And Y/N has passed."

"Oh," the escort breathes awkwardly.

"I hope you love him more than anything and anyone. Just because I never spoon fed him doesn't mean I don't care about him," his grandmother says, drifting her fingers over the glass of her desk.

Jeongguk kisses the top of your head and your eyes flutter shut immediately.

Your heart is wildly racing within your chest like a horse and to say that it's because of the simple kiss is not true.

Your heart is beating so fast because of the words you spoke.

They keep replaying in your mind over and over again to no avail.

"To love him."

"To love him."

"To love him."

Your heart is beating so wildly because you're scared.

There was not a single ounce of a lie within that three worded sentence. There was no pause or need for acting. There was no reason to string those words together purposefully.

They flowed from your mouth like a river, like it was meant to be said with that same heartfelt inflection.

You believe these words.

<---- Last Chapter                            Next Chapter ---->

[illusionindelirium]

I really appreciate watching Prue lighten up and become more likable as the series goes on. In the beginning she was the typical unhealed oldest daughter, rigid, parentified and angry at the world. We see her slowly open up and let her personality shine through, especially in seasons 2 and 3. You can visually tell she's become a happier person in the way she dresses too. She was arguably the second best dressed sister imo.

From her quippy one-liner vanquishes (which were very reminiscent of Buffy) to her nipple-baring cunty fashion to her character-building episodes about healing, Prue Halliwell became a fun character to watch. The relationship with between her, Piper and Phoebe was so realistic and beautiful that it's hard to believe the actresses did not get along on set. It sucks that we didn't get to see her come back (on the TV show) so we can see how she develops a relationship with Paige.

[mooniety]

so the 2nd trailer for the fourth madoka magica movie JUST came out & i wanna talk about a few theories i have after seeing it:

here's a link to the trailer if you accidentally missed it (there's english subtitles)

MADOKA MAGICA SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT, WATCH UP TO REBELLION IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED

The Walpurgisnacht is a culmination of the Holy Quintet's stripped away powers (I'll get to this theory later) & the 15th Clara Doll, Ai (Love), which is why the Clara Doll is stated to "have yet to arrive." This would somewhat make sense as Walpurgisnacht is officially known as the Stage Witch with an unidentified name, who is a culmination of multiple witches & why Homura in the beginning of the trailer dresses in an attire similar to Walpurgisnacht. Let's not forget how familiars are able to become witches themselves.

The Homura lookalike we see in the most recent trailer poster & in certain parts of the trailer could be the Clara Dolls, who have taken the shape of a possibly idealized version of Homura that Homura thinks Madoka would enjoy/be deserving of Madoka's love. Because the Clara Dolls' purpose is to torment Homura, this idealized version of Homura could be the main source of the actual Homura's torment in this world. Not to mention that the Homura lookalike's headband shares a lot of resemblance to the Clara Dolls' typical clothing. Furthermore, as we pan down a large obscure tower of chains, chairs, & etc., there are three different Homuras among the Clara Dolls. In the trailer, the Homura at the bottom is identified to be the real Homura & when you count them all together, it equals 15. Assuming that Ai isn't one of the Clara Dolls we see standing on the tower, Ai is still nowhere to be seen.

Ai may be the magical girl who we see fall down the roof/turn into a witch (possibly the Walpurgisnacht) in the trailer & where Homura may be keeping the Holy Quintet's stripped away powers. This is because we see that this anonymous magical girl not only wields Mami's powers (ribbons) but also Madoka's (a bow). Interestingly, the magical girl's motif is purple & the bow she wields looks exactly like Homura's at the end of the TV anime, basically confirming her connection to Homura. The Clara Doll may be the new "Madoka" Homura has instated in replacement of the actual Madoka, so Madoka no longer has to become a magical girl to save the world. After all, the person Homura loves the most is Madoka.

The Holy Quintet have been stripped of their original powers aka their somewhat different outfits, which could be due to Homura attempting to keep them from fighting back against her rule as they most likely (& definitely for Sayaka) want to reinstate the original Law of Cycles, or possibly worse, Kyubey's control over the magical girl system. Thus Homura has decided to hide their original powers into the anonymous magical girl we see throughout the trailer. This can be seen in Sayaka's redesign, whose power was to heal quickly, now, she's draped in bandages - bandages that noticeably cover her mouth, which could be related to the ending of Rebellion where she confronts Homura's changes to the world & destruction of the Law of Cycles. Mami's outfit seems to have a lot less ribbons & flowers as well, which was a large motif of hers. As for why Homura's own magical girl design is different as well, if you look closely, her outfit is cut very similarly to her devil outfit in Rebellion, which is slightly reinforced by the frame of her soul gem being black instead of gold.

Although it could be very much an animation mistake, Mami's eyes are different, which could hint that she's much more younger or less jaded than she was in all of the original timelines Homura time looped in before the events of Rebellion. This could mean that all of the girls (& hopefully Sayaka as well lol) are living much more happier lives/the lives they wanted, despite being vaguely aware that something seems off.

The Holy Quintet gathering in an abandoned building (other than Homura & Madoka, who Homura obviously refuses to let become a magical girl, let alone be aware of such a thing) may be related to the Walpurgisnacht arriving (aka the title Walpurgisnacht: Rising), whose destruction may have been undone after Homura destroyed the Law of Cycles, thus they're meeting in order to make a plan on how to destroy it in this current world or put a stop to Homura. & assuming if they want to stop her, they will all have to band together to put a stop to her. This could add onto the theory that the Holy Quintet led to the creation of the Walpurgisnacht, as the real life event, Walpurgisnacht/Walpurgis Night is the gathering of multiple witches at once, & what do magical girls become when their soul gems become corrupted? Witches. This means witches are back, WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! However, if you missed Nagisa, I wouldn't fret, as in the official website, Nagisa is confirmed to make a return, YAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm still a little disappointed how they didn't include her in the trailer though.)

so here's a crack theory that has seemingly revived & now seems far more sensical because of this trailer:

Because a figure very similar to Homura or just Homura herself is wearing attire that strongly resembles the Walpurgisnacht, she could very much be Walpurgisnacht herself, especially now that she has the power of a devil. & when you put it into perspective how the Walpurgisnacht has no official name & how Homulilly in Rebellion was stated to only evolve into a useless witch because it was missing the 15th Clara Doll, Ai, Homulilly may very much be its actual name. Not to mention how our Homura lookalike is under a parasol that looks vaguely similar to the ruffles of the Walpurgisnacht's dress skirt & stands in an area akin to a stage when Madoka meets her. It doesn't help either that the line the trailer ends on is "And so, let the curtain rise on tonight's dream." This could theoretically mean that in every timeline, Homura has been fighting herself. Madoka Magica has become a psychological anime if it wasn't already - it really is all just an inner struggle.

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 17, Unanswered - Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, Pocket embraces her inner Karen (just a little bit)

Word Count: 1.1k

Previously On...: Word on the street is that you and Steve are a Thing. You try to give Bucky a head's up that it's all bullshit, but he's not answering his phone. That can't be bad, right?! RIGHT??? 😬

A/N: Time for Pocket to set the record straight! (ALSO! Surprise, besties: Three updates tonight! - 445, 5, 515 EST)

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when I update, please enable notifications from my Blog page!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

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You’d never had an opportunity to meet Lisa Galvin, head of the PR firm that exclusively represented Stark Industries, but you figured that, if she could handle the public relations nightmare that was Tony Stark, you were obviously in good hands.

“Ms. (Y/L/N),” Lisa said, rising to shake your hand as you were shown into her office, “it’s so lovely to finally meet you. I’ve heard such good things.” Her firm’s suite was on one of the Tower’s mid floors, and was bright and spacious, but lacked any real sense of character or personal warmth. Given that Galvin & Associates represented all of Stark Industries, plus every Avenger, you kind of expected the space to be a bit more… colorful.

“‘Pocket’s fine,” you said, sitting down in the chair she offered you. “Thanks for meeting with me on such short notice.”

Lisa smiled. “My pleasure. Though, we wish you’d come to see us much sooner. In terms of a PR footprint, you’re practically a ghost! We could do so much for your public image, if you’d only let us, dear.”

You looked around, wondering who the ‘we’ was that she was referring to, as it was only the two of you in the room. “I actually prefer it that way,” you told her. “I highly value my privacy, and I took my job to create and innovate, not to become public property.”

Lisa pursed her lips, as though she could think of nothing more disdainful than wanting to remain out of the public eye. “Well, to each their own, I suppose,” she said, her voice betraying that she very much did not agree with you. “Now, what is it you wanted to meet about?”

“I’m sure that you’ve seen the articles by now,” you told her, something about her beginning to rub you the wrong way. “You wouldn’t be very good at your job if you hadn’t.”

“Ah, yes,” she replied, and if she heard the edge in your voice, she didn’t acknowledge it. “The ones about you and our very own Captain Rogers! Congratulations, I might add! Just delightful! What about them?”

“I want to issue a statement refuting them,” you said. 

Lisa looked at you as if you asked her if she wanted to go out and kill any and every puppy you could find. “But Pocket, my dear, why? You must understand that being romantically linked to one of the most eligible bachelors in the entire world– nay; throughout all of history can only increase your public approval ratings. Do you know how many of my clients would literally kill to have exposure like that?”

You widened your eyes. She was slightly scary, like a deranged Effie Trinket. “Well,” you began slowly, “first, there’s the fact that it’s not the truth. I am not now, nor have I ever been, romantically linked with Steve Rogers. And second, and most importantly, I’m deeply committed to someone else, and I don’t want him getting hurt by these lies.”

Lisa rolled her eyes at you. “My dear, in the court of public opinion, no one gives a damn about the truth. It’s all about optics. And given the public’s engagement with the articles that have been posted since the gala, the optics you and the Captain present together are divine.”

“Yeeeeaaaah,” you drew out, “I really don’t give a shit about optics. I’d just like the record to reflect the facts.” You leaned forward, putting your elbows on Lisa’s desk as you looked her in the eye. “And if you’re not going to do that for me, I’ll speak to Ms. Potts and Mr. Stark about finding a new firm for the company that can.”

You smiled your “did you forget exactly what my position was in this company?” smile; not one that you used very often, as it tended to give you the ick, but you felt it was more than appropriate, given the circumstances. It wasn’t uncommon for people to underestimate or dismiss you, or think they could intimidate you or bend you to their will due to your small stature or your relatively young age, or just because you were a woman. It didn’t hurt to give them an occasional reminder.

Lisa looked properly concerned. “Well, I – there’s no need for that!” she spluttered. “I see no reason Mr. Stark needs to be involved. It’s a simple matter of having you write out a statement, after all. From there, my associates will send it along the AP wire, and to the outlets that wrote the articles, asking for a retraction, or at the very least, that they publish your response.” She opened a drawer in her desk and pulled out a legal pad. Handing it to you, along with a pen, she said “Just write the basic sentiment you wish to get across, and my team will tweak it into something befitting a proper press release.”

You raised an eyebrow. “I’d prefer to have my statement in my own words, thanks,” you said, before bowing your head and beginning to write:

While Ms. (Y/L/N) greatly values her friendship with Captain Rogers and admires all he has done for his country, she would like to clarify that they are not now, nor have they ever been, involved in a romantic relationship of any kind. Ms. (Y/L/N) is involved in a committed, long-term relationship with another party and kindly requests that her privacy in this arena be respected, and she be left to continue living her life as a private citizen.

“There,” you said, handing her the sheet of paper. “That should do it.”

Lisa looked it over and nodded her approval. “It will do,” she said. “It’ll go out straight away; I’ll do it myself.” You nodded and, thanking her for her time, stood and turned to leave. “Oh, Pocket, dear,” she called to you. You turned, wondering what more she needed from you. “Just for the sake of curiosity, when you wrote you were already in a long-term relationship, who were you referring to? Is it someone in the Tower? I only ask because it may become a relevant issue at some point in the future.” “James Barnes,” you told her proudly. You loved him, and you honestly didn’t care who knew it.

Lisa clutched her chest as if you were attempting to steal her pearls. “The Winter Soldier?! Oh, my dear– you better pray that little nugget never gets out, because if it does, you’ll be running back here in tears, begging me to fix your ruined public image.”

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[eeblouissant]

in this essay I need to talk about the way Dorothy acts around & reacts to stan in this clip (season 4 ep 5) specifically or I will simply perish.

enjoy the unorganized (unedited, and definitely not reread) chaos, this will be more of a ramble than anything - it’s so late & I need to get these thoughts out of my head before I explode.

Firstly, the clip in question:

( 1:15 - 2:22 )

now. Oh boy. Where do I even begin.

As much as I know it was done for comedic effect; the way Dorothy doesn’t hesitate to let herself cuddle into stan (STAN!!! CUDDLING. with STAN. And **publicly** there are so many layers here) when he puts an arm around her, describing what probably were the happier times Dorothy’s mentioned having with him despite it all (or at least a version of them. his version, that he’d created in an attempt to persuade her, as we learn pretty quickly) - oh god it just breaks my heart. She lets herself feel those memories for just a moment, before it all inevitably comes crashing down again. The way she snaps so quickly… that’s something we do not see in younger Dorothy. Younger Dorothy comes off much more passive-aggressive leaning more on the passive (shy?) side, she’s just very logical & no nonsense (but not in the way she is now). That’s something that Dorothy never really loses - Whereas current Dorothy has lost that (passiveness) completely with stan, and seems find it natural to come off as “aggressive” & dominating around/toward others. So - that ability to shut off & become defensive like that, & so fast, was developed later on. She’s got a bite now that was learned, because she had to bite to survive. For her own sanity. Do you know how much work that would take to unlearn & heal, if she ever even tried? oh my. Yeah I’m not well. I don’t think she would have much faith in it changing either, it’s become such a part of her. I think she would feel a little lost without it.

That first bit kills me - but what kills me about this scene most, is that last bit. Where she tries to push back further with a comment she know will be funny and just a little hurtful (towards stan, im sure she thought) and that will further deflect. But it backfires and hurts her instead. Her voice breaks. It breaks and her eyes soften and it looks like that just for a moment she lets the hurt shine through. Because that is especially painful, she cannot bury it. Her entire demeanour changes as those last few words are delivered (and Oh My God do they register fast - like she’d reopened that wound having no idea it was going to sting so badly.) and I just - oh my GOD. For that split second she looks like she might crack, the pain in her voice is so clear. & then the walls go right back up & it’s pushed right back down. I cannot deal. I absolutely cannot. Dorothy has let herself be vulnerable in the past, but has there ever been more than maybe (maybe) a handfull of instances where her voice & face soften that way? Anyway, I’m absolutely losing it over those little details. I’ve yet to find another scene where it feels like younger Dorothy shines through in the current. It hurt my heart so good and I cannot stop thinking about it :’) I think this is my sign to rebinge every episode in order. Because I am definitely forgetting - there has to be more.

Okay that’s all for now! If any of you have any thoughts or personal fav scenes (etc) to share as well please feel free!!! Dorothy angst seems to be my drug of choice lately lmao

(like two bits of this were my own interpretations of Dorothy’s character based on observation, don’t take them as canon nor am I claiming they are, because we obviously don’t know exactly what happened in between + younger Dorothy didn’t have much screen time :’)! Headcanons are just so much fun to throw around!!)

She <333 <33333333 <3 <3 <3 heart heart heart xxoo literal angel

[paracosmicparadox]

So, I'm falling back into the FFXV kick, and I have decided that I disapprove of how little complex character development Square Enix has given the guys?? Like where is the emotional depth beyond surface-level cutscene angst?? So I took matters into my own hands and have compiled a handy little list of headcanons / expanded canons that I think make sense.

Noctis: Has clinical insomnia and frequent lucid dreams (sorta a given, but bear w me bear w me)

Feels the weight of having to take so much on from such a young age much, much more than he lets on

Loves to argue

Would've been happier if he and Luna stayed as childhood best-buds rather than betrothed fiancés (controversial, ik, but it just didn't seem like he cared that much for her romantically to me?? Like he obviously cared about her, but it seemed like a really strong penpal vibe rather than a "We're-gonna-get-married-and-be-the-next-hotshot-couple" vibe. If you disagree, coolio, I'm not gonna debate w you on this one)

Has a natural sadness to his eyes regardless of what he's feeling

Went through an anime phase (possibly still in his anime phase, idk)

Social anxiety for the win

Severe RBF

Prefers tea over coffee (black tea is best---particularly lavender earl grey)

Can play the cello (practicing tho?? Don't know her)

Writes the most beautiful poetry when The Motivation™ strikes him (usually when he's home sick and half-delirious)

Prompto: Has ADHD and clinical anxiety, but is undiagnosed and doesn't take any meds for either of them.

Is legit like SO SMART, but can never focus, so not many people take any notice

Wears contact lenses (he had glasses as a child and I refuse to believe he had some high-tech corrective surgery to eliminate the need for them when lenses are cheaper and less risky)

Doesn't drink caffeine because it makes him jittery

Doesn't drive the Regalia when the guys are around because having other people in the car distracts him from the road. Also he tends to drive like a speed demon, which worries Ignis to no end.

Sunburns insanely easily

Could legit become a hitman if he wanted to with the amount of gun-knowledge he has. It doesn't matter what firearm you put in this boy's hand---pistol, SMG, sniper, rocket launcher, you name it. He can and will hit the target every single time.

Addicted to adrenaline

Pansexual

Has a lot of self-loathing (we see a bit of this in Ep. Prompto) and talks with an online therapist about it via text whenever his lows hit him. He's making great progress in learning how to heal and how to accept himself for who he is beyond the mask he wears for others

Ignis: More than a little bit of a control freak, and works very hard not to be too overbearing or critical about his friends' misgivings

Hypochondriac

Wants to protect everyone all the time and mentally kicks himself when he doesn't get there fast enough

Is SO PROUD of Noctis's journey and felt a stronger hatred towards Ardyn than anyone else in the group for what he forced Noct to go through (he stayed up at night sick to his stomach with hollow rage and baked nonstop to take his mind off of it)

Can verbally obliterate a man, but only rarely chooses to do so bc he's classy like that

After losing his eyes, he notices so much more beauty in the world than he used to (the sound of rain on the Regalia's roof, the specific gait of each of his friends, the smell of salt on the wind in Galdin Quay, the flawless feel of one specific silk tie he has in his repertoire, etc)

His internal compass is never wrong

Regularly takes antacids for his stomach

Has the straightest teeth you've ever seen

Demiromantic

Gladio: Hates being wrong: it's his way or the highway

Actually so much smarter than the musclehead jock front he puts up

A little vain and easily jealous (this man has a Jealous Face like no other)

Thunderstorms are his favorite; his ideal place to be is at a campsite, during a storm, with a well-worn book and a mug of Irish coffee in hand

Would throw himself in front of a bus for any one of his friends

Would beat up kids for the folks he cared about in middle school and spent the time he wasn't training to be a Crownsguard sitting in detention with the most unrepentant, smug, and-I'd-do-it-again look scrawled across his face

Can make a better smoothie than anyone (except maybe Iggy)

Spotify junkie

Had a dinosaur phase as a kid and can still name random facts about them whenever the opportunity presents itself

Avid technology-hater and only has a phone to make calls and join the others in playing King's Knight since they begged him so profoundly (he's sure the thing's going to be his downfall)

Gets most of Prompto's pop culture references

[bakersgrief]

a/n: I can't draw it, at least not yet, so I decided to write it. Bear Juza! ...Mostly. Everyone is trans and jubantai gives you cavities, basically.

Everyone around Juza could see how they changed. They were becoming more comfortable and confident. Their effort and passion was helping them grow into one of the finest actors anybody knew, breathing life and love into their roles.

Those around Juza could also see they were healing. Juza wouldn't say they had ever been unhealthy, exactly, but it was obvious that they were becoming healthier and happier by the day.

The truth was, Juza had been hurt. They had been hurting for a long time, before joining Mankai. That was where the healing started. And soon, the growth.

It started with a bit of hair. Juza had hair in most of the usual places, but they noticed their chest seemed to be getting fuzzier lately. Over the course of a few weeks, the sparse chest hairs their teenage self possessed grew like a patch of ferns. Soft curls adorned their chest more thickly than before; curls that had trailed down their abs and stomach and up their back and shoulders. It was a little unnerving for them. Juza felt as if it contributed to their masculine, intimidating image. But they were surprised by how much their partners seemed to like it.

Laying in bed, Taichi ran her slender fingers through the cloud of curls on Juza's chest.

"It's so soft and fluffy, Juza-san! I didn't think you could get even better for cuddling!" Taichi threw her arm over Juza's abdomen, snuggling closer into their side.

"Can't believe you ended up even more hairy than you were before. You were already gettin' a shadow by the time we went to bed," Banri mused from zir position on Juza's other side. Taichi agreed enthusiastically.

"Yeah," she chirped. "Now they get it at 4 o'clock! You're so cool, Juza-san!"

Juza felt reassured by their lovers' praise. It seemed a shame that their body was changing just as they had been becoming more comfortable in it. Oh well, that was life. (Or, "say-la-vee", as Homare-san would say.)

Time passed. People changed and grew. Perhaps it was fitting that Juza's body was changing now that their life had taken a turn for the better, as if puberty had decided to hold off on hitting them like a truck until they had learned to love their body and their self more than before.

But hair wasn't the end of it. Oh no. As time passed, Juza found the muscles they had gained from constant fights (and maintained from being an actor) were slowly being hidden under a layer of fat. Their body was growing bigger and softer, less hard ridges and more curves.

That was something they didn't dislike. A lot of people disliked having a pudgy tummy, but Juza was very happy with their new soft, squishy body.

"INCOMIIIIIIING!!!"

"Oof!"

Kumon had launched ximself into xer big brother's chest. Juza and Kumon would always be brothers. Regardless of the fact that neither were quite boys anymore.

Kumon squeezed xer big brother enthusiastically.

"You're so squishy, Nii-chan!!!" Xe hollered.

Even though they hated loud noises, Kumon's noises would never be a nuisance to Juza. Xe knew when they needed quiet.

"Thanks, Kumon." Juza chuckled, patting xer head.

Their mother could hardly believe the change her eldest had been through. There they were, on her doorstep. Completely changed from the lonely, angry teenage boy of two years ago.

She could barely keep the tears from falling as she wrapped them in a hug.

"Uh! ...Hi, mom."

"You look so good, baby! You've gained weight- that's so good..."

Juza smiled privately. They thought so, too.

"Hey, Ban-chan! Maybe we should start calling Juza-san "Kuma-chan" instead."

"Ha? Why would we do that?"

"Well, they're a bear now, right?!"

"Does it even count as a bear if they're not a man?"

"...I don't mind being a bear."

"Good!"

Taichi snuggled deeper into the space between her partners.

"You're our bear!"

Banri reached over and pinched one of Juza's love handles.

"Oi, keep it in the bedroom." They growled.

"Whatever." Ze retorted. "You're lucky I'm happy being a little femme, otherwise I'd beat you out in the hair department."

"Bullshiiiiiit~" Taichi sang, giggling.

The three of them cuddled closer on the couch, another happy day drawing to a close in the Mankai dorms.

[baldwinivmybeloved]

☆⌒(*＾-゜)v Charper Fifteen ⟪🪭⟫ Xica x Baldwin Iv

Xica lay in bed, her body still aching and her heart broken. The days had become an indistinguishable mass of sadness and pain. She could barely muster the strength to move, and the thought of getting up felt overwhelming. Food was an obligation she couldn't fulfill, and her nerves were on the brink of collapse. Memories of her mother and the sight of her home reduced to ashes haunted her constantly.

The afternoon sun filtered through the window, casting dancing shadows on the walls of the room. Xavier and Jacobino, tireless in their efforts to rebuild their home alongside other survivors, visited her occasionally to encourage her and try to get her to eat something. Xavier entered the room with a tired smile. He sat by Xica's bed, gently taking her hand.

"We've made great progress in rebuilding," he said, his voice warm and comforting. "The king has sent aid. He's provided materials and food for everyone. We're doing everything we can to restore things to normal."

Xica barely looked up, responding with a barely audible whisper. "Thank you, Xavier."

He sighed, knowing Xica's sadness was deep. "Xica, we need you to recover. Your strength has been an inspiration to all of us. We can't afford to lose you now. Please, eat something."

He tried to offer her a plate of food, but Xica turned away, unable to find appetite in her grief. Xavier continued speaking, trying to fill the silence with words of encouragement.

"Remember the days when we used to work together in the fields, how we used to sing as we worked. You were always the strongest, the one who kept us all together. Now we need that strength more than ever. The children look up to you as a role model. If you falter, what hope do the rest of us have?"

Xica sighed deeply, closing her eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Xavier, I don't know if I can be that person now. All I see is darkness and pain."

Xavier tenderly stroked her hair. "I know, sister. But we must press on, for those who have gone and for those who are still here. The king has done much for us. He believes in you, and so do I."

Her thoughts swirled, returning again and again to the losses she had suffered. "I have lost so much," she thought. "My mother… my home… and Baldwin… though he has done so much for us, I cannot help but feel trapped in this sorrow. It's all so overwhelming." The weight of her grief felt unbearable, and every time she closed her eyes, she saw her mother's face amidst the flames, heard the cries of those who did not escape the fire.

At that moment, Kiria, one of her mother's friends, entered the room. She approached Xica with a look of compassion. "My dear Xica," she said softly, "you cannot let sorrow consume you. Your mother would want you to move forward, to live your life with bravery."

Kiria helped Xica to rise from the bed, despite the pain. "Come, you need to wash yourself and refresh. It will help you feel a bit better." Xica let herself be guided, her movements clumsy and slow, as if each step were a monumental effort.

Kiria led her to the wooden tub, helping her undress carefully. Xica sank into the warm water, feeling how the heat eased her physical pains slightly. Kiria began to wash her body gently, while speaking to her in a comforting tone. "You must not let sorrow rule you. You have a life ahead of you, full of possibilities. Think of what your mother would tell you now. She would want you to fight, to live for her and for yourself."

Xica nodded weakly, feeling tears mingling with the bathwater. Kiria continued washing her, her hands moving with tenderness and care, cleansing not only her body but also trying to heal the wounds of her soul. Kiria spoke to her of happier times, of the laughter they shared, and how her mother always found a reason to smile, even in the darkest moments.

"Remember, Xica," Kiria said as she washed her hair, "your mother's strength resides in you. She taught you to be brave, to face adversity with your head held high. Don't let grief steal that strength from you."

After a while, Xica emerged from the water, and Kiria helped her to dry off. On the bed, Xica saw a beautiful dress, white with patches of blue on the skirt. It looked soft and comfortable, clearly a resting dress.

"I can't wear this," Xica said with a broken voice. "I am a slave, I don't deserve something like this."

Kiria looked at her firmly. "It's a gift from the king. He wants you to feel better. You must accept it and allow yourself some comfort."

With mixed emotions, Xica put on the dress. It was soft against her skin, a reminder that someone cared for her. However, her heart still felt heavy, and she returned to bed, overwhelmed by her sorrow. Despite the comfort of the dress, she couldn't escape the pain she carried inside. Kiria whispered words of encouragement, telling her to remember her mother with love and not with pain, to honor her memory by living a full life.

In the throne room, Baldwin IV, Tiberias, and Godfrey were judging Reynald de Chatilleu. The tension in the room was palpable, and Baldwin could barely contain his anger. Reynald, with a defiant expression, blamed supposed Saracens for the attack. His excuses were weak, and the witnesses present contradicted him, although some knights lied under the orders of Reynald and Guido de Lusignan.

"The fire was started by the Saracens," Reynald insisted vehemently. "They wanted to destroy our home and our kingdom."

Baldwin looked at him coldly, his eyes gleaming with anger. "Lies will not save you, Reynald. Your actions have brought suffering to our kingdom. You cannot escape justice."

Reynald remained defiant, but he knew his position was precarious. The voices of the witnesses incriminating him were too loud to ignore. Murmurs among those present grew louder, and Baldwin knew he had to make a firm decision.

"Reynald de Chatilleu," declared Baldwin, his voice resonating in the room, "you have been found guilty of heinous acts against our people. Your fate will be decided by Xica, the woman who has suffered the most from your actions."

Reynald, upon hearing this, felt a deep hatred towards Xica, blaming her in his mind for his situation. "That woman," he thought venomously. "She has been the cause of all my troubles. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be in this position."

Baldwin continued, his tone severe. "Xica will choose your fate. And I assure you, Reynald, there will be no mercy for those who bring pain and destruction to our home."

Baldwin IV made his way to Xica's room, his heart heavy with the decision she would have to make. He found Xica lost in thought, still trapped in her sadness. Baldwin tried to persuade her, bringing her books, scrolls, and flowers, but nothing could coax a smile from her.

"Xica," Baldwin said softly, sitting beside her, "I know you've been through so much. But you must know that I am here for you. I will always be by your side."

Xica looked at him, her eyes filled with pain. "Baldwin… I don't know if I can go on. Everything is so hard."

Baldwin took her hand, squeezing it gently. "You are stronger than you think. Together, we can overcome anything."

Xica embraced Baldwin with so much love that both crumbled before the other. "Take me away from here, Baldwin. I don't want to suffer anymore."

Baldwin looked at her with love and determination. "I promise I will do everything I can to help you. I will get you out of here and take you to a place where you can find peace." He felt a mix of love and desperation, wanting to alleviate Xica's pain, even if only a little.

After that conversation, Baldwin left Xica resting, knowing he had to keep watching the progress of the help of the people.

Later, Godfrey came to see Xica. He sat by her bed, looking at her with tenderness. "My dear Xica," he said in a soft voice, "I know you're suffering, but you're not alone. I'm here for you, as I have been from the beginning."

Xica looked at him, her eyes filled with tears. "Godfrey, I feel like I've lost everything. I don't know how to move forward."

Godfrey took her hand, caressing it gently. "You are like a daughter to me, Xica. And I promise I will do everything I can to help you heal. Your mother would be proud of you, for everything you have endured and for your strength."

Xica sobbed, letting the tears flow freely. "I don't know if I have that strength, Godfrey. I feel so lost."

"I know," Godfrey replied, squeezing her hand. "But strength doesn't mean not feeling pain. It means moving forward despite it. And I will be here to help you every step of the way."

As the days passed, Xica began to heal slowly. Baldwin IV brought her gifts and beautiful details, spending afternoons and nights talking with her. In one of those conversations,

Baldwin sat by Xica's bed, holding a small bouquet of flowers.

"These are for you," he said, offering them with a smile. "I thought they might brighten your day."

Xica took the flowers, a faint smile appearing on her lips. "Thank you, Baldwin. They're beautiful."

Baldwin felt relieved to see that small sign of improvement. "I'm glad you like them. I've been thinking a lot about you, about everything you've been through. I want you to know that I'm here for you, always."

Xica looked at him gratefully. "Your words mean a lot to me. Sometimes, I feel like I'm in a dark tunnel, and you're the light guiding me."

Physical contact between them became more frequent, and Baldwin usually removed his mask more often, allowing Xica to quickly kiss him on the face. Those moments were comforting for both of them, a refuge in the midst of pain.

One afternoon, as Xica left the library, she met Tobiah, who seemed different. He knelt before her, his expression serious and determined.

"Xica," he said firmly, "I ask you to be my wife. Together, with Jacobino and Xavier, we can escape from Jerusalem and go to Sidon. We can start a new life."

Xica looked at him with coldness, her eyes reflecting a mixture of sadness and resolution. "Tobiah, I can't. I can't be your partner."

Tobiah, in shock, tried to understand her words. "Why not, Xica? Is it because of Baldwin? Is he the reason?"

Xica sighed deeply, trying to stay calm. "No, Tobiah. It's not because of Baldwin. It's because I don't love you. And I can't be with someone I don't love."

Tobiah looked at her bitterly. "You're a coward, Xica. You betray us all."

Just as Tobiah was yelling at Xica, Xavier and Jacobino arrived to stop the scene. They defended Xica, moving Tobiah away.

Xica, still affected by the confrontation, turned to Jacobino. "I need advice about my future," she said in a trembling voice.

Jacobino looked at her lovingly. "Xica, you must follow your heart. Only you can decide what your path is. But remember, you will always have our support."

With those words, Xica felt a spark of hope in her heart. She knew she had much to overcome, but with the support of those who loved her, she could face it. She decided that, although her path might be difficult, she would walk it with bravery and determination, honoring her mother's memory and building a better future for everyone

The sun slid slowly towards the horizon, tinting the sky with golden and pink hues as Xica and Baldwin IV shared moments of tranquility in the castle library. It had been days since Xica began slowly healing, and Baldwin was determined to help her find peace.

Sitting near the open window, the soft murmur of the wind swayed the silk curtains. Baldwin leafed through an ancient history book, occasionally commenting on the intrigues of neighboring kingdoms and forgotten legends.

Xica listened attentively, admiring Baldwin's passion for knowledge. Though her heart still bore the scars of pain, she found solace in Baldwin's presence and their conversations.

"Our ancestors lived in tumultuous times," remarked Baldwin, with a slight smile. "But they always found ways to face the challenges. It's a reminder that history always has something to teach us."

Xica nodded, feeling the peace of the place and Baldwin's company bringing temporary relief to her wounded soul. "They always have something to teach us… always something to learn from history."

Baldwin set the book aside and took her hand tenderly. "Xica, what's on your mind?"

She smiled weakly, feeling the comforting warmth of his hand. "Tell me, what would you do if you ever found out that someone you thought you knew was hiding something unexpected?"

Baldwin, surprised, took her hand and said gently, "It all depends on how the heart feels upon such news. There are secrets that are necessary, but others that are desperate."

They remained silent for a moment, letting their emotions intertwine in the library's peaceful air. Their physical closeness had become more natural over time, a mutual refuge amidst the storms they faced.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the castle, Sibylla confronted Xica with a frankness that cut like a sharp knife. She entered Xica's room with disapproval in her blue eyes, her voice resonating with a mix of authority and disdain.

"Xica," began Sibylla bluntly, "what do you intend to do? You can't go on like this, you can be here alone and do not stay for nothing , It is a responsibility to all of us."

Xica looked at her calmly, although Sibylla's tone irritated her deeply. "Sibylla, I understand your concerns. But you can't expect me to get over this overnight. I lost my mother and my home…"

Sibylla interrupted her with a gesture of impatience. "It's not just about you, Xica. It's about Baldwin. He needs you strong, not submerged in pain. I won't allow him to be hurt by your inability to move forward."

Xica felt hurt by Sibylla's words, though she understood her point of view. "I don't want to hurt Baldwin. He's done so much for me…"

"Then prove it," replied Sibylla firmly. "Be the woman he needs. Don't let your pain consume you to the point of forgetting your responsibilities."

Sibylla's words echoed in Xica's mind as she pondered what to do next. She knew she had to find a way to overcome her pain and honor the trust Baldwin had placed in her.

Later that night, Xica sought out Godfrey in his chambers. She was determined to make an important decision, one that only he could help her with. Godfrey greeted her with his usual warmth, but immediately noticed the determination in Xica's eyes.

"Godfrey," began Xica firmly, "there's something I need to show you."

She pulled out a small diary from her clothes and handed it to Godfrey. "This is something my father left me before he died. I think it's time you knew the truth about me."

Godfrey opened the diary carefully, his eyes scanning the pages filled with letters and drawings worn by time. As he read, his expression shifted from initial curiosity to surprise and finally to understanding.

"Xica," he said softly, closing the diary carefully, "this changes everything. I had no idea… you must use this with cunning at the moment to save us."

She nodded, feeling the weight of the revelation on her shoulders. "I know my past is complicated, but I'm willing to face it. I need your help to do what's right."

Godfrey looked at her with pride and tenderness. "I'll always be here for you, Xica. You're part of this family, and together we'll overcome any challenge that stands in our way."

The next day, the time came for Reynald de Chatilleu's final judgment. Baldwin IV presided over the court with seriousness and justice, while Xica observed from a prominent point where it was time

TO BE CONTINUED...

[thehumanistcrusader]

I don't think we realize just dangerous Silver Snow could be for Byleth as a character.

(EDIT: Changed the title to reflect the headcanon-esque nature of this post.)

In the other three routes, Byleth has the house leaders to anchor themselves down when they receive their divine powers. In Azure Moon and especially Verdant Wind, they are able to maintain their humanity despite their rise to godhood because they have those bonds, and in Crimson Flower, they end up losing their powers altogether. But Silver Snow? Oh, Silver Snow is a whole other ball game.

In Silver Snow, Edelgard, who in another timeline would have been the one to relieve Byleth of their divinity and perhaps even fill their life with love and compassion, instead turns on them, leaving to fulfill her own ideals. Dimitri ends up going insane from his own demons and dies at Gronder, likely not in a very nice way, too. Claude is forced to leave Fodlan for Almyra in order to save himself. Worse yet, all the other students who weren't lucky enough to join Byleth are likely dead as well.

And Rhea, the one person they've been holding out for this whole time, the one person that they had hoped would be able to turn things around, is either dead, or has retired to Zanado. Byleth was just beginning to show their humanity, to warm their stone cold heart, and what did they get for it? Nothing. Their home is ravaged by war, so many of their students, their friends are dead, and the ones that did make it out will never get to see their dear Professor grow old alongside them. Even Cyril, the youngest voiced character in the entire game, will be nothing but a blink to the immortal Byleth. Sure, Seteth and Flayn are still there, and maybe Macuil and Indech could be convinced to come hang out at Gareg Mach, but even these 4 are nothing compared to the 40+ friends that Byleth has lost.

A major part of Byleth's story is the relationship between their humanity and their divinity. Azure Moon and Verdant Wind manage to strike a balance, albeit leaning towards human and divine respectively. The Black Eagle routes, then, are the extremes. In Crimson Flower, Byleth sacrifices their divinity to embrace their humanity, finding themselves in the loving arms of close friends, and perhaps eventually, family. In Silver Snow, what does Byleth do when almost everyone they know is dead, and they must now shoulder the responsibility of leading Fodlan for all eternity? Simple. They reject their humanity, and with it the memories of happier days, and embrace their divine nature wholeheartedly. There is no longer Byleth, there is only The Enlightened One.

Fodlan is transformed into a theocracy, ruled eternally by The Enlightened One, who rules with daft precision and perfection. Thanks to the technology from Shambala, Fodlan is transformed into a technological paradise. Every building is self-powered, all foods is grown in buildings with perfect conditions, all jobs are handled by machines. There is no disease, because The Enlightened One heals all the sick. There is no crime, because The Enlightened One rains divine judgement on those who sin. There is no war, because The Enlightened One destroys all who threaten Fodlan.

However, just as The Enlightened One guards those under the wings, so too do they strike down any from outside. Under their rule, Fodlan becomes even more isolationist, to the point where had folks like Petra or Claude tried to enter Fodlan, they would have been chased off like savage bears outside of one's house, because to The Enlightened One, that is essentially what they are: savage beasts threatening their precious home.

Fodlan becomes a perfect world, and yet, because of this, there is no growth, no change, no evolution. The Enlightened One has become a cold, apathetic, and pragmatic ruler in their rejection of humanity. Fodlan becomes cold, stale, emotionless, blanketed forever...

...in silver snow.