#but walmart was out of the right green paint

[gooseygooseyartstuff]

I had a dream that was so vivid the only thing I could do was poorly edit it together to hopefully capture the vibe and It's the closest thing It's gonna be to screenshotting my brain

words cannot begin to explain every little thing that happened

[purplestanleypinkblanket]

Dinner for two, Moonlit Solace (Prologue):

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: You, Dean, Sam, and Charlie stop at a diner after a hunt. A cute little prologue that leads into the Moonlit Solace series.

Warnings: Minor cursing, that's about it! Some tension, Dean is unable to say his feelings!

Genre: Fluff all the way.

Word Count: 1,151

Series Masterlist: Coming Soon!

You had been traveling with the Winchester brothers for two years now, practically verging on three. You listened with a smile as Charlie eagerly ranted about something with computers. Your gaze wasn't on her, however. It was on Dean, watching as he took a mouthful of eggs only to let his jaw fall open as he laughed. You shook your head, smiling with a held back chuckle as you cast your gaze down to the dining table. The four of you had just finished off a hunt and had been on your drive back to the bunker when Dean declared that it was time for a celebratory dinner. That's how you found yourself seated in the diner booth across from Sam. Charlie sat next to you, picking food you had yet to touch off your plate.

The faint sound of Frank Sinatra's voice playing from the nearby speaker behind the counter added to the conversation. It provided noise when you all fell silent, it provided comfortability. Sam watched as Dean's gaze wandered from the chatting Charlie to you, your hand covering your mouth as you chewed. It wasn't long before the four of you were walking back to the impala, Charlie and Sam's arguing over the passenger seat grew to be but a distant sound as you walked beside Dean.

"Ya know…" He hesitantly started, hands in his jean pockets, throwing a green-eyed glance at you. "You're more than welcome to sit in the passenger seat."

You let out a snort as you looked at him, a bright smile gracing your features. "I don't think I could do that to Sammy….or Charlie. They love sitting up there with you."

Dean nodded, eyes analyzing the way your smile lit up your face. "Right, yea." He flashed a grin that made your heart pick up its pace.

Silence fell between the two of you, your arms bumping against one another's every so often. Hopping into the backseat of the impala next to Sam, you watched as Dean started the engine. His love for his car was always notable. The way he rubbed her dash lovingly, how he told you he'd never let you drive her after last time. It wasn't your fault that the local Walmart had pink paint that day.

The drive was filled with Charlie ranting about something. You hoped there wouldn't be a questionnaire afterword because you had barely heard a word she said. Dean watched from the rearview mirror as you yawned, nestling into the side door while Sam read. By the time the impala reached the bunker, you were fast asleep. The drive had been long and boring, as it usually is.

"I'll get her." Dean declared to the others, his head gesturing to the door. As Charlie and Sam worked their way into the bunker- a knowing smile on their lips- Dean had walked towards the car door you rested on. Opening it carefully, he reached a hand over and pressed it on your shoulder, preventing you from falling. "Hey, sweetheart. It's time to get up." His voice was low, coaxing.

"Mm." You whined out, turning away from him with a grumpy huff, "Five more minutes."

He let out a chuckle, a smile on his face as he slid a hand behind your back, the other on your bicep. "We both know five minutes really means 'fuck off'." He replied as he pulled you from the Impala. "C'mon, outta my baby, sweetheart."

With a grumpy scowl, you stood, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Oh, c'mon, sweetheart." Dean coaxed, arm wrapping playfully over your shoulders, "Don't be like that!"

"Bite me." You grumbled, slipping from his arms.

Dean watched you walk away, his lips pursed. He knew you were tired; you always were after a hunt. However, he wanted to talk to you a little longer. It wasn't often he got you one on one.

"Hey, hold on a minute." Dean was quick to blurt out, hand grasping your wrist. His hold on you started out tight, like you'd disappear if he let go. You had paused, looking back at him with brows furrowed in confusion. As you stared at him, he loosened his grip, trying to keep the situation light. The warmth seeping from your skin was refreshing, the contact of your flesh against his sent sparks through his spine. Reluctantly, he released your wrist, desperate to not reveal how he felt. Desperately trying to not make himself powerless. His green eyes traced your face, tongue running along his bottom lip as he thought. A long stretch of silence fell between you two, his face contorting slightly, silently pleading that you could understand what he was trying to say. When your head tilted to the side and shook ever so slightly, brows furrowed and lips parted, Dean knew he had to verbalize his thoughts.

He gulped softly, exhaling in exasperated frustration, "You, uh, you did good today." He was frustrated that he couldn't say how much he admired the bravery you held during the hunt, the determination in your face as you stood between the vampires and the children.

Taking in the slight frustrated undertone of his voice, you tensed, frowning. He had given you a compliment, but it didn't feel very much like one. Your hands clenched at your sides as your lips pursed.

He tried again, hesitating for a moment before he tried to speak. Dean's lips parted, he wanted to tell you that he enjoyed having you out there. Having you fight by his side felt so...reassuring. You had his back, he had yours. It helped that Dean knew you were safe when he could see you. Even if it meant having you out on a hunt. He could be there to prevent anything from hurting you, from reaching you. After a second, he pursed his lips, unsure on how to express what he wanted to say. Dean's green eyes focused on yours, deep in thought. Your own looked between his, searching them for any answer as to what he was trying to say. He leaned in ever so subtly, finding his mind racing for something, anything, he could say to make it better.

Sensing his struggle, you spoke up, "thanks, Dean." A bright smile graced your tired face, accepting that he wouldn't be able to say more. Your voice was relieved, appreciative. It was nice. It was nice to be complimented by Dean. He had noticed how hard you tried, and he thought you did good. You casted your gaze away, a small bite of your lip as you turned. He watched you take your leave, a frown tugging his lips.

"Anytime, sweetheart." Dean's statement may have gone unheard by you but that was alright. Because it was meant more for him. It was a promise to himself that he'd see that smile again. That he'd be the reason you smiled again.

[theloveoftoms]

its alright - e. hunt x reader

summary: while staying over at your boyfriends house, you get your period. basically just ethan hunt being the gorgeous and perfect and comforting guy that he is.

t.w: periods, if that grosses you out, this probably isn the fic for you 🙄

a/n: hello lovlies!! I hope your all having a great day, and thank you so much for clicking on this post! it is seriously so cold where I live, there is snow and it feels kinda like Christmas🎅 the grammar in this is probably whack, thats because Im trying to write a history essay right now and all of my 'grammar-ly thoughts' are going into that. sooooo, enjoy whatever this story is! ✌️😚

Last night was the first time you had stayed over at your boyfriend, Ethan's house. Now of course you had slept over before, but last night was the very first time that the two of you had actually orchestrated plans for you to stay over. Instead of scavenging his bathroom cupboards for an extra toothbrush or some form of cleanser that wasn't a 3 in 1 wash for face, hair, body, groin, feet and lord knows what else, you had packed all of your cosmetics and a comfy pair of pjs to sleep in. However, you didn't exactly wear the pyjamas for very long upon your arrival.

When you woke up, it took you a moment to realize where you were. The feeling of Ethan's arm wrapped loosely around your waist and the sun filtering through the blinds in the way similar to that of a Monet painting reassured your busy mind as the memories from last night played over in your head. Fall was in full bloom outside, and you felt warm and safe beneath the covers. That is, until you moved from your side onto your back.

As you pivoted beneath the sheets you felt a unwanted but yet familiar gush in-between your thighs. Your heart rate began to rise, and the pit of your stomach began to sink as you noticed the damp sensation in your underwear. You slowly pulled back the sheets, shimming your hips up, revealing a red spot from where you had been sleeping. Sure the spot was small, but it still was a stain of blood in your boyfriend's light grey bedsheets.

You rolled your eyes, just great.

So confidently, you had slept in only your panties and one of Ethan's t-shirts, which had hit just below your waist. The one time you didnt actually sleep in a pair of cheap ratty Walmart sweatpants is the time when miss flo decided to pay a visit.

You cursed silently as you brought yourself up, sitting vertically in bed.

On the chair in the corner lay your small duffel with your belongings. You would rise from bed, grab a change of clothes, and head into the bathroom and change. After in a fresh pair of panties and a new oversized t-shirt courtesy of Ethan, you would crawl back into bed and pretend that this all was a dream. The only problem, was the bed sheets. What the hell were you going to do about those?

It seemed, the moment you thought about how to keep Ethan sleeping and somehow remove the soaked sheet, Ethan was already stirring. "y/n?" he mumbled, barely awake, his green eyes meeting with the sun for the first time today.

You ran a hand through his messy brown hair, reassuring him of your presence, "Shhh," you hushed him, in a tone that was somehow quieter than a whisper, "go back to sleep."

Ethan blinked a couple of times before bringing his eyes up to yours. "What's wrong?" he asked, perhaps noticing the sheets pulled around your waist or the worried look in your eyes. "Are you okay?"

You nodded, tugging the sheets up, "I got my period," you replied, saying that last work as if it were a curse. Even saying it made you want to crawl away and pretend like you didn't just leave a notable mark on your boyfriends pressed linen sheets.

You were so embarrassed. Yeah, of course Ethan knew you had a period, you were a woman of a certain age after all, but it was never something the two of you had ever really discussed before. Sure, in passing you might have companied about your cramps, or asked him to come lay on the couch with you, but you never had openly talked about it with him before, and for some reason, this made you nervous.

You brought your hands up to your face, rubbing them over your eyes in embarrassment. You felt so humiliated.

"Hey," Ethan said reassuringly, sitting up, reaching for your hands, lulling them down from your eyes, "its okay y/n. It's all natural."

You shook your head, still refusing to meet his gaze.

"Do you need me to get you anything?" he asked, propping himself up on one of the pillows.

"A change of clothes?" he offered, "I can drive to Walgreens and pick up some pads if you need?"

You nodded, taking a hold of Ethan's hand, "That would be really nice Ethan," you said, offering him a gentle smile, "but thats not what I'm worried about."

Running a hand though his hair in the nonchalant way he always seemed to, "what is it then?" He spoke softly.

"I kinda leaked onto your sheets," you said, embarrassed, "Do you have a change?"

Ethan nodded, but before he could speak, you interjected, "I'm so sorry Ethan. This isn't how I wanted my first real time over here to end up."

Ethan took your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to press a featherlight kiss on the back of your palm, "Waking up next to you is all I ever wanted," he spoke softly, "and I got to do that today y/n."

"So please," he begun gently, "let me help you."

"Go hop in the shower, change into one of my t-shirts and by the time you're done, the sheets will be changed and I will be back with some things from the pharmacy."

You looked up, finally meeting his gaze, "Ethan," you cooed, "what did I ever do to deserve you?"

...

So you did as Ethan wished. You showered, changed into his navy blue t-shirt that always seemed to bring out his eyes, and when you were done blowdrying your hair, Ethan was back with a whole bag of items.

"I wasn't too sure what to get," Ethan smiled, handing you a grocery bag that seemed to have perhaps a bit too much in it, "so I just got it all."

Sitting up in the chair opposite of the island, you peered into the bag, pulling out not one but three packs of pads and one case of tampons. Oh, and also, there was a heating pack, Tylenol, a small stuffed dog with eyes smilier to the colour of Ethan's, and enough candy and sweets for three months of time. You laughed whole heartedly, "Ethan," you smiled, pulling your boyfriend in by the collar of his jacket, "You're the best."

Ethan planted a kiss on your forehead, "Only for you."

[thatonebabybat]

I always see people who are interested in alt fashion ask goths where to get good clothes (that aren't overpriced) so here's a few good places from my own experiences: - BANDCAMP. Not all goth bands have merch, but the ones who do always have incredible designs and they can be fairly inexpensive! The smaller the artist, the more likely their merch will be affordable, and the more they need the support. So go do some digging~ (I find a lot of niche bands through playlists, Never Resting Soul on youtube has some good ones and so does Obscura Undead) - Thrift stores. I know this one gets talked about a lot but I see people say "My thrift store just has granny clothes" and I just want to say... It's about the way you search and the way you style pieces. I like to beeline towards the black sections since my thrift store is sorted by color but yours might be different. After that I usually like to look at reds and purples, but green or even white can also be pretty cool if you style em right. See what calls to you. Look for good fabrics. Lace, velvet (or fake velvet), leather (I'm vegetarian so I hate to say it, but fake leather kind of sucks ass and crumbles apart within a few wears most of the time. Look for real leather if you want to buy it), or normal fabrics with interesting prints. I'm plus size and I've found some really good items doing this. Also, sometimes something that looks like a "grandma" piece on its own looks stunning when you pair it with the right accessories. Invest in some good belts and jewelry and you can make the most basic black t shirt and jeans or skirt look super alternative and pretty. - DIY. A lot of people assume you need some decent sewing skills to do this and while that's certainly helpful for more complicated DIYs, I'm here to tell you: You can just bullshit things with paint and safety pins and fabric glue and cheap craft supplies. Want a chain belt? the crafts section of walmart has chains you can throw on literally anything if you have a will and some safety pins (which you can also buy at walmart) and I hear hardware stores have longer chains way cheaper. You can also write things with that puffy paint you probably remember from when you were a kid. or use a cheap paintbrush to actually paint with it if you want. If you have patches you can fabric glue them or safety pin them (seriously those things are lifesavers) or both for good measure. Key rings are also great for projects that have a lot of chains or other hardware on them. you can make a chain with them or you can attach chains together with them or just like throw em on any piece of black clothing you want or honestly like 50 other things I'm probably not thinking of rn. Of course, you can also just shred tf out of things if that's more your style. Tights, denim, shirts, whatever. Distressed clothes are always an easy mention. (shredding denim is weirdly therapeutic if you have pent up frustration, try it out sometime) You can also draw or write on colored things with markers for a cool effect. I have a whole playlist for alt DIYs if you're looking for some inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLK4LkzpKtOvIFkJadZDUnfN4ntztkU70q - Finally, and I hate to say it, but.. Fast fashion. I don't recommend it if you can avoid it, but sometimes it's all you got and I don't really judge anyone for buying it. I got my current pair of combat boots at target and there's plenty of pieces you can style in alternative ways there. Lots of good basics and they usually have a pretty decent belt selection. They also have combat boots for around $20 last time I checked. (Don't buy from shein if you can help it though that shit is toxic and I don't just mean it in the metaphorical way.) You can also get good pieces for DIY projects like I mentioned above, or you can find cool tights to pair with your outfits.

[thevondoom62]

Well, this has been a bit of a controversial one. From its very announcement to delivery date, the Marvel Legends Retro Venom has been one divisive figure. I've heard people praise this thing to high heaven and others who absolutely HATE it, calling it trash. Where do I sit on the matter?

First thing's first, wow! A Walmart exclusive where preorders were up for a long time and it actually shipped out! Incredible! Congrats for doing the bare minimum, Wally World.

Let's address the biggest issue upfront here: that neck. Right out the box, that head articulation is nigh worthless. You get some tilt, but the up movement is PITIFUL. I normally like to mince words, try to be nice, but it is actually just bad. I took an exacto knife to it and carved it up until it got better movement. Then I sanded it down to make it look smoother. I shouldn't have to do that. Hasbro seems like it just can't figure out the dumbell joint, except when they can. Like, classic War Machine, Baron Helmut Zemo, and NWH Green Goblin all have pretty good ones. Even movie/KiB Venom was passable to me. This, though? No good. Might be a safety standards thing, but if so, they're better off sticking with disc hinges.

With that fixed, the second biggest issue I've heard is that it's gummy. Well, mine doesn't feel that gummy. Certainly more solid than the Pulsecon Animated Venom felt. It's about par for the course with Hasbro, maybe a little softer but not by much. It's certainly no first release movie Ant-Man, that's for sure. That one felt like it was made of Twizzlers.

The paint has been another sticking point, quite literally. The logo feels thick and tacky, which... yeah. It does. My Pulsecon Venom and Retro Carded Symbiote Spidey had the same issue. Both of those eventually destickied and I can already feel the same happening to this one. It has to be the process they use to print the logo on so cleanly. However, I do have one major complaint with the paint! The inverted ab crunch clashes with the pelvis when pushed fully forward. This has resulted in paint damage on the logo, which I had to patch up. Now I can mod a figure no problem, but I HATE painting them. My hands are too damn shaky and the way the colors never fully match unless you mix, augh. Paint wear is inevitable, especially with how I handle my toys, but it would have been nice if they designed it with extra clearance between plastic.

Wow, that's a lot of words! A lot of this might seem negative, but I'm just addressing the current conversation. I've seen a lot of varied opinions on this one. I feel you can tell by how many pics I've taken that I fall on the very positive end of the spectrum. It is probably the closest I've gotten to that ideal Venom in toy form. He's so squat and chunky looking, while still being appropriately tall. Not overly hulking, proportions are juuuust right. Articulation is superb, neck aside. Everything feels fluid, even if I'll always want more movement at the hips. Sculpt is good. I wasn't crazy about the tongue lashing head at first since it skews so modern, but I kinda dig it now. The real prize is that grinning face, though! Looks like a mix between Bagley and McFarlane, it rocks!

I don't know if I've ever typed this much out for a toy before. I try to keep as brief as possible, but there was a lot to say. It's for sure got problems, but I can't help but love it.

[merpthealmighty]

Was writing a connor fic, my bad this is late

Oogly Boogly, @outlandishscenarios !! I was your secret Santa all along mwuhahahah

Happy new year, haha (im very sorry)

Beforehand; they are separate. Oh, and you smuggled them in your home. 

Walmart was a wonderful place. Especially as the holidays were in full swing, and the formidable climb of high quality clothes, it was a haven of cheap thrills and a retreat for both the poor and the wealthy. A cultural center in the whole of America built on an infrastructure meant to appeal to the primitive brain, complete with just the right setup to convince us into purchasing more products- to the advertisements to persuade our subconscious minds. But all this had led to this one pivotal moment. 

You hadn't thought that much of Walmart before the moment you met eyes with the Sun and Moon themed pajamas. You were just going to be in and out that day- collecting some necessities and some not, but something glittery and yellow had caught your eye and something itched inside of you to walk over to it like a magnet. And oh, were you happy about it. 

You had bought the massively oversized pajamas with him specifically in mind. Bright yellow and orange in color- a fuzzy mess of sequins you knew would make an absolute mess of your washing machine; but it was far that worth it to watch him bounce from one leg to the other in surprise and elation at the gift. Just to hear the tinkling lilt of grateful happiness spilling from his voice box was a gift enough. You had known him long enough to know the differences in pitch he held in his voice- there was a clear change from real happiness, and the happiness he was programmed to portray.

“Oh, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Y/N!” His long arms cocooned around your midriff tightly, swinging you around in dizzying circles. You wished you could get out the few syllables needed to respond in affirmative- if food didn't threaten to chase your words. 

Moon was more moody, to keep it in one word. He enjoyed the things he was related to- the moon and stars and galaxy. He would idly chatter about how he admired the constellations that glittered in the sky, so firmly put in their respective spaces for generations on end, yet strung in one of the most empty and inhabitable places we know.

He enjoyed lounging in a pair of simple gray sweatpants, paired with an untucked and oversized black tee with painted splatters across it with soft airbrushing of cool toned colors to simulate the look of a pulsing galaxy. He didn't accept the gift with the same excitement as Sun did- but instead disappeared behind a corner quietly as Sun was given his comfy clothes, and in a haste put it on, stepping back into the conversation with the clothes situated neatly on his body like nothing happened at all. It was his own way of saying 'Thank you'. 

“It’s snowing pretty hard outside.” He remarked, reassuming his seat on the couch bordering the window of your living room, with the utmost casualty. Edgy boy. 

 It was a goal far beforehand- from the very first time you found out who the daycare attendants really were behind all the paint and glitter glue and angst, to bring as much light to their life as they would allow you. Seeing firsthand how deeply they could not only feel- but scar- made you want to shower them with as much love and compassion as you possibly could. 

Naturally, you smuggle two lanky animatronics out of their respective positions, and into your home. You had backup, of course. As long as you did not damage the animatronics or take them permanently, the software and repair manager, (who, frankly, might be some kind of drug dealer) gave you the green light. 

Much to your delight, you discovered each one of their interests one by one. 

Moon enjoyed scrapbooking. Just doing little things with his hands- gluing bits of paper together and the satisfying intricacies of stationary and ink. He enjoyed finding little pretty things, whether it be petite flowers pressed between the pages of a book for a long while- or the jumbled clippings of magazines he collected here and there. Oddly enough- you hadn't caught him accumulating most of the things he scrapbooked, they just… appeared. But the way his red eyes flickered thoughtfully as he placed pictures and film- slick with glue, carefully onto pages. Almost like he was a surgeon, he treated scrapbooking with frightening accuracy. 

Sun, on the other hand, liked plants and flowers. The daycare had no windows, so your little modest house tucked away in a quiet neighborhood was one of the best places he could have been taken. You had purchased a few brightly-colored perennials from the local market earlier on in the year, and helped him plant them in the backyard during the summer. 

Summer had since then come and gone, leaving nothing but blankets of snow and shorter days with a reliant chill. It was a wonderful season in terms of snuggling and warm drinks and anything related to affection and warmth, but snowstorms proved to be a great opponent in your quest to cater to your lanky robot boys. Just one nasty storm could knock down your dainty power grid, and ruin all your plans for the day. But Zeus be damned, you'd make the best out of any situation. 

Is what you said in your head, but when your light did dim out while your freshly brewed coffee that just began to trickle out of the espresso machine to come to an abrupt halt; you didn't have a damn of what to do. 

Zues probably heard you. 

A barrage of desperately muffled curses(in order to not trigger sun) jumped freely from your mouth as both the daycare animatronics looked inquisitively at all the lights and lamps now suddenly dark in your living room.

“Hm. But the lights were just all on? Do you also have to shut the lights off to conserve energy?” Sun questioned with a tilt to his head, as you were able to see the red glowing of Moon’s eyes behind him, partially closed and exhausted. He didn't bother to say much, just a low vibrato of a sigh, of irritation or just robot fatigue, you weren't sure. 

“Good God! I really can't have anything, can I? Ha, of course the fuckin-”

“Language, sunshine.”

“FREAKING!” Instantaneously, you corrected yourself. It had been so long dealing with these boys that things like Sundrop’s censorship was almost expected every time you let out a swear. 

“-Power would go out. How wonderful.” Blindly, you felt yourself tumble through your house to try and find the flashlight you knew you had in a drawer in your credenza, but doing anything frustrated will only turn out to be a hot mess with you. 

“Where IS that flashlight?!” Your fingers and arms spread stiffly in front of you to navigate your own house; but you felt a lurch in your stomach as you ankle caught the leg of a couch or a table or a chair- a fall so sudden no noise could escape you- just blown eyes wide in desperation to see and avoid any possible threat. But there was nothing. Just darkness. 

But Moon was oh, so familiar with the dark. 

He hugged the part of you that was closest to where he was seated, hand snaking around your waist and rib cage, much like the supportive arm a parent would thrust out in case of a sudden brake while driving. 

When you look behind you back to where his face is- the half-mast look in his eyes was no longer there. Red LEDs were wide and alert, this time around.

He sighed- but it sounded far more similar to a growl in his voice box “Be careful.” His faceplate was dipped slightly into the crook of your neck- as she had to pull your body towards his slightly heavier body to negate the force of the fall. “And slow down. Stop panicking.” You huffed a laugh, not really humorous at all, and clutched his hand that rested firmly on your stomach. 

“Thanks… ‘preciate it, Moonie.” 

He only replies with another grunt, Though this one a little softer. 

“Jus’ tell me where it's at. I'll get it.” 

You felt a tinge flustered, only able to watch his eyes wander down the hallway as you gave vague directions towards where you thought the nearest flashlight was, and when you finally did, his cool metal hand cupped the bottom of yours; his other hand placing the small bit of plastic in your hand. 

“M’ sitting back down.” His regards were sent through a slight wave of his hand as he wandered back towards the couch. If he wasn't so close, you'd have been beside yourself in embarrassment. 

“Robot boys and their subtle little acts of affection…” You stood and fiddled with the strap attached to the flashlight until the tingling heat subsided from your cheeks. 

You flicked the light into the on position, finally lighting ip your carpeted floor. A few ideas of the priorities rooted in your mind as you made your way to the kitchen once again. 

Sticking the flashlight in your teeth and rooting through overhead cabinets in your kitchen, you yanked out a coffee percolator from the very back of the shelving. It was heavy and old, something you probably pulled from a thrift or antique shop out of pure curiosity. Couldn't have cost much. Brushing away a mile of dust from it and blindly grabbing a bag of ground coffee- you prepared it as you could faintly remember. Coffee in the little basket-looking thing- water in the bigger container. 

Flicking a match to light and twisting the knob to your oven, you lit a front eye on fire. Placing the percolator over the oven, you finally spit the flashlight from in between your teeth out and waited for what seemed like an adequate amount of time for the coffee to accumulate. 

"Sunshine?" Slightly high-pitched and kindly, Sun's voice perked up behind you.

"What'cha doing?" Out of the corner of you eye, you dimly saw the outline of a hand rested on the countertop next to your hip. He was right behind you. 

"I'm making coffee on the stove since the powers out." You responded simply, placing the light back in your mouth. 

"Well, I can do that, sunshine." He tugged lightly at the dangling strap, looking at you with slightly less bright LED eyes as Moons, watching as it fell from your lips. 

"How sweet of you!" You traded him an equally soft smile, as his rays spun a little in recognition of the praise.

Your blind grab for mugs resulted in a few mis-matched ones, different in size and color but fine enough for your purposes. The dark and rich liquid spilled from the nozzle into each cup, and you fixed them how you thought they each would like it. Sun’s- milky and overly sweet, closer to creamer than actual coffee you’d assume. And moons, pitch black with only a tad of sugar. 

You felt a little bad that they couldn't drink any of it per se, but Sun explained how he liked the way the steam came out of the mug. Moon just enjoyed the feeling of being included. And with his help, you located your hoard of wool blankets in the linen closet to wrap you all in comfortably finding a few scented candles you had never bothered to use and lit them for the dim lighting.

You found a dimpled spot on your couch a little next to Moondrop, and spread the blanket over the length of your arm to cover you both. Sunny boy followed keenly behind, holding his own blanked and finding a nook at the other side of you to properly get comfortable in. All three of you were tied together mostly by one blanket, but with the knots of throws and piled if pillows, one couldn't really tell. 

You noticed moon was decently cool to the touch. Like the hand that had caressed you earlier, the metal connecting his limbs were smooth and cold. Not a wet cold that made you shiver, but beneath the heat of the blankets, all you wanted to do was lean closer to him. Like the cooler side of the pillow on a summer night. 

But Sundrop was a whole different animal. You thirsted after every drink of warmth he produced. Sun’s fans were like white noise, rested against his chest, a more sustained and softer version of rainfall. Of course he had silicone padding for the safety of the kids- but an extra warm body? Fans whirring inside of him like the gentlest of air conditioners? 

You had to fight the sand underneath your eyes to stay in the moment.

But you stayed sandwiched, peppering little kisses on their faceplate every so often, and drawing little reassuring shapes on whatever you could reach with the soft pads of your fingers. Goodness, with the candles and the warmth you were encased in, you weren't sure how long you were going to last. You might as well leave with something, you thought, before you conked out cold on both of them. 

Sundrops soft eyes with a graceful light spilling from them.

And Moon with his red, passionate half mast gaze.

"You're both so pretty." You tucked yourself further into the blanket, sleep fogging your brain intensely with the certainty of death. 

What was there ever really to worry about?

 You fell asleep without an answer.

Ew! I hate it. This is my first time writing fluff, actually haha. Horror and smut are more down my alley, but it was really interesting to try to write something new. Genuinely apologizing to @outlandishsenarios. Happy Christma-Hannu-Kwanza-nothingatall! 

Just now kinda realizing I focused on moon alot. Welp! Its here now

[mental-breakdown-machine]

You'll have to excuse the shitty lighting and also the weird green paint. I moved these into the kitchen to water and was too lazy to move them back for better photos.

I thought I'd post photos and talk about the plants that I was talking about in those other 2 asks a couple days ago.

I don't actually know the name of this plant. This is the really weird funky looking plant that I've had for about 4-ish years.

I got it from Walmart around Christmas time I think, it was very short and had very nice white flowers. It went outside for a brief bit because I thought it died after it was done flowering (clearly it did not) it's gotten very tall and you can kinda see in the photo it's being propped up by an unbroken pair of chopsticks. I really gotta get a different stake for it tho.

Amazing and easy to care for plant. looks nice and grows fast. 9/10

Disocactus anguliger or Fishbone cactus is probably one of my favourite plants I own because it looks very weird. That is usually the driving point of every plant I buy but this one took me like half a year to find.

This one is only about 2(?) years old. As they age and grow Fishbone cacti tend to droop downward, lending it an even more wild look and also making it a good plant if you want to put it in a hanging basket.

Mine is looking particularly strange as it's growing aerial roots right now which could be for two reasons: 1, It's looking for something to climb and latch onto (weird I know, I'll explain in a sec) anyway that's likely.

2, many tropical plants like the Fishbone cactus developed aerial roots to find more water (very likely).

The Fishbone cactus is a tropical plant which means that it requires a lot more water than you would usually give a cactus, mix that with it being a very dry and cold season and me forgetting to water it, it makes sense for the aerial roots to be there.

Final rating 8/10 The plant looks very nice, but may be harder to take care of if you often forget to water your plants as the soil needs to stay at least a little wet.

Dracaena trifasciata or mother in law's tongue? I just call it my snake plant because it is.

This is my oldest plant. I've had it for about 6 years and while I accidentally said it's about 4 feet tall it only about 3 and a half feet tall.

What I love about snake plants is that they require such low levels of light and water it's easy to just forget on a shelf. And if you do forget it, unless it's been a very very long time there's nearly no consequences. I do believe this is the first time I've watered this one in a month.

These plants are definitely my number 1 recommendation to people who haven't taken care of a plant before.

There are actually many different kinds of snake plants. The one I have is probably the most common, but they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, including one (Dracaena masoniana) that I kid you not looks like 1 giant leaf growing out of a pot. I want one desperately.

The care for snake plants are very easy and basically are: 1, keep in indirect light (and no light for a bit but don't forget to bring it out to the sun once in a while) water only when the leafs are bendy and kind of soft to the touch (the soil should be completely dry) and that's pretty much it! This is one of my favourite plants just for how easy it is to take care of!

rating is a 10/10 because it is just so easy to care for and is quite showy when the plant is more full and not the size of a toddler.

uh anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk?

[sailor-toni]

Danny Fenton Football Captain and the East Coast Vampire CH 1

You can also read it on A03, FF.NET, and on Wattpad

Chapter One: The Trainwreck House

The house was at the end of a long driveway off the main road in old Amity Park. Giant oak trees lined each side of the pavement, following the black stripe till it reached the house. The giant oaks framed the faded brown roof and broken windows with their bold yellow fall leaves. Danny hopped off his old bike, and pushed it the rest of the way. The bike had served him since middle school and still bore the scars. Glitter dollar store NASA and astronaut stickers were stuck to its frame. Several had lost most of their color turning brown yellow or blue from the past summer suns. The sun of the present had its fading sunlight reflected off those stickers. Creating spectacles of rainbow on the ground that followed where his bike went. 

The further we went, the quieter his surroundings got, the noise of the city was still there, but it sounded like it was from another room or another time. Then he came upon the house itself.  The house was a train wreck painted sickly yellow and left to die. The sunset set the broken windows ablaze with light scattering their reflections on the leaf covered ground below. Danny stuck his tongue out in disgust. The smell matched the building and he assumed it would give him a headache. The front door swung with the light breeze, each time emitting a loud creek. Danny winced, then he pulled out his phone and opened up the Discord App. 

SpaceGhostDanny: I��m here. Where are you guys? 

SayonaraPaulieCat: The girls and I are still getting ready! We will be there soon!

TouchDownHero: I lost the board. 

ThisSunnyBoi: I’m almost there, I stopped by Nasty Burger for dinner. What do you mean you lost the board? 

TouchDownHero: Look I put it on my bed and now it’s gone. 

SayonaraPaulieCat: Not again!

SpaceGhostDanny: If Kwan is still in town he can get a new one from Walmart. 

ThisSunnyBoi: Yeah! 

TouchDownHero: No, a normal board won’t work. It has to be this vintage one I found! 

SayonaraPaulieCat: Val says she is calling BS

SpaceGhostDanny: Hey Kwan if I pay you back later can you grab me a nasty double burger, extra secret nasty sauce, a milkshake and large fries. 

ThisSunnyBoi: Sure! 

SayonaraPaulieCat: Oh! Star wants a nasty kid’s meal with BBQ sauce and the girl’s toy and a coke, Val wants a triple nasty burger with fries, no drink. Can you get me large fries and sparkling water? 

 ThisSunnyBoi: Uh you have the money for this?

SayonaraPaulieCat: I just Venmo-ed you. 

ThisSunnyBoi: Okay order is right up! 

Kwan added a few wide mouth smile emoji’s after his message. Danny sighed, Dash was right. Kwan did text like a white mom. He shoved the phone into his Casper High letterman jacket and took another look at the puke house. 

A chill shot up his spine as a woman stared back at him. Her skin was melting off her body like wax. The green skin dripped off her sharp chin and splashed onto his feet. But her eyes. They weren't there, instead they had been replaced with two small red flames, like someone had shoved candles into her eye sockets. 

“H-hi h-how can I h-h-Elp you?” Danny took a step back but the woman grabbed his arm and yanked him closer. The lack of breath on his ear terrified him. 

“Get out before HE sees you” Danny was sent flying back, his back crashing into his bike. He shoved himself up and threw his fist up, but the woman was gone. The only sign of her was his own breath escaping his lips in small puffs of smoke. 

“I don’t know who you are Lady but this is supposed to be my night off,” There was no response. “Hey!” Danny called out louder. Wisp of green began to gather in his palm. He cautiously approaches the house, watching for any sign of movement in the leaves. Green vapors began to grow and swirl in his palms, as he moved towards the center of the driveway. 

A sharp and cold wind whipped around him, blowing the golden leaves below him into a frenzy. Until he was in the center of a golden tornado. Splotches of black and red appeared between the holes of gold. The vapor in his palm sharpened into spikes of green energy. Each spike was hurled at the splotches, each one missing as she moved through the leaves. The house’s front door was swinging rapidly with the wind, creaking back and forth. 

“Young Halfa,” she said. “Your life will be in great danger if he finds you, so acknowledge this threat and-” The wind was now a tornado, sucking the air out of its center, choking him. Then as suddenly as it came it stopped. Leaves fell around him as the woman stood in front of the house. “Leave,” Danny shot another energy spike at her. She tilted her head and the train wreck of the house took the abuse in her stead. “Please,” she begged. 

“Who?” Danny gasped out, but the woman was gone. The front door slammed shut. The wind was gone completely now. Not even the leaves still on the trees moved around him. 

Slowly getting up Danny brushed himself off, his red letterman jacket was thankfully unscathed. He looked at the door, then around him, and finally at the door again. It was closed, the horrible creaking from before was gone, but he had to know. So, he began to slowly approach it. Each step closer sent his nerves on edge. His breath was coming out in a long puff of smoke, and he could feel the goosebumps on his arm raise up like small mountains. His fingers brushed the frosty cold doorknob, shocking him. Forcing his arm forward again, the metal didn’t sting his fingers a second time, but the hair on his body rose with the wave of goosebumps. 

“Hey Fenton! What are you doing? Trying to get a sneak peek?” Danny jumped, the green vapors became a mist around his hands. Ready to strike, he turned to see Kwan Seok walking up to him. Kwan's red ten-gear mountain bike was propped up next to Danny’s. Its metal basket was over filled with drinks and Nasty Burger bags. 

“Kwan, we have to get out of here, “Danny jogged to his friend, hiding his hands in his coat pocket.

“What why? I just got here,” Kwan said. 

“This place just doesn’t feel right”

“Well duh!” Kwan rolled his eyes. 

“Hun?” Danny looked at his friend with a dumbfounded look. 

“It’s an abandoned house from the 1800’s, of course it won’t feel right to you. You're not used to it, plus it's all run down and stuff, so it looks gross as well.” 

“That’s- that’s not what I mean dude. I mean there is something wrong with this place.”

“What? Like a ghost?”

“Um, yeah?” 

“This whole town is filled with ghost dude, plus isn’t that the reason we're here? To talk to the dead and stuff?” Kwan wasn’t wrong. Dash had invited them here to see if they could talk to the ghost of the old mansion. 

“Okay, but I don’t think we are going to be talking to Casper the friendly ghost here. This thing might attack us or something.” 

“Are you scared Fenton?”

“No!”

“Awww is our captain scared of a little ghost? Dude your parents are like crazy ghost hunters how can you be scared of a ghost?” 

“I’m not scared dude.” 

“Don’t worry. I know you're scared but dude, the Kwan-ster is here to protect you! Plus,” Kwan slapped his arm around Danny’s shoulder “if a ghost does start to cause trouble, we can just use Dash as a meat shield. This was his idea anyways” The two snickered at the mental image of their blond friend being held up like a shield. 

“What are you guys laughing about?” Behind them arrived Valerie Gray and Star Morninglory. Yes, that is Star’s legal name. Her parents were new-age spiritualists in the 80’s but now all they do is smoke pot and worship Elon Musk from their three garage townhouse. 

“We were talking about using Dash as a meat shield if anything goes wrong!” Kwan yelled out. 

“Ooh that sounds like a great idea, count me in!” Star showed back. 

“Count me in two.” Valerie jest. Star stood on the back of Valerie’s bike, her pink converse supported by two small bars on Valerie’s back wheels. Paulina Sanchez rode up behind them in a pink motorized scooter. Little pairs of pink pom-poms hung from her handlebars. 

“Ooooh! I call using him as a meat shield first!” She yelled.

“No way, it was my idea first so Fenton and I get to use him first.”

“But you boys are already so strong and big. Shouldn’t you protect the ladies first?” 

“What do you think Fenton?” Kwan asked.

“We should get Dash first.”

“Danny!” Paulina yelled as she stopped right in front of him. Her long curly hair looked perfect. No Paulina was always perfect, and today she was wearing that pink v-shaped crop top. “You wouldn't protect me from the ghost?”

Danny forced his eyes up “I would. That’s why you would get Dash after we use him.”

“That’s right Danny!” Kwan laughed.

“Ugh you boys.” Paulina rolled her eyes.

“Yo! Speaking of Dash, where the hell is he?” Valerie spoke up. She had her hair in a tight bun above her head, and was wearing a bright orange tank top and denim shorts. 

“Is he still looking for the board?” Star stepped off the bike, almost falling over in the process. 

“Ugh, it's just like him to lose it.” Valerie scoffed. Parking her bike next to the others. 

“Let’s just have a picnic until he gets here then, Kwan did you get the food?”

“Yep it's right here.”

Star pulled out a large quilted blanket from her star-shaped backpack. The quilt was covered in flowers and butterflies in tacky orange and pink, but no one seemed to mind as they sat down and grabbed their meals from Kwan. Their conversation and inside jokes slowed down as the gang shoved food down their mouths. Danny sat between Paulina and Valerie, while Kwan sat next to Star. The two had been dating for almost a year and it was still stomach churning to watch them together. Their lovey dovey sweet talk could give a puppy cavities, every event they went to they wore matching or color coordinated outfits, even now they both wore spooky black shirts under their red and white jackets. And worst of all, they were a packaged deal. Everywhere Star went, Kwan came as well.

Kwan smirked at him. Danny frowned and munched down on his double nasty burger. Paulina and Valerie were almost complete opposites. Paulina was the head cheerleader with the personality to match. Everything was pink or Barbie related, today she even had pink butterfly clips in her beautiful waist length hair. Meanwhile Valerie was the head of the volleyball team and track team. Her body was toned to perfection and looked like it could crush him. But she still wore makeup and had beaded friendship bracelets hanging over her sweat bands. Both were some of the strongest people Danny knew. And he had a major crush on both. His face buried every time his elbow knocked against one of theirs, or when he reached for a napkin and Paulina’s hand brushed his. 

“Oops! Sorry you go first,” Her voice was like a melody leaving her sweet pink lips. Just being in between them allowed him to forget about the ghost. Oh! The ghost! He took a peek at the train wreck house, and he saw a pair of red eyes disappear from the upstairs broken window. 

“Hey if Dash doesn't come we could head down to the roller skate rink.” He said, glancing away from the ghost. 

“I don’t know, exploring this house could be cool. We could film it and put it on YouTube.” Valerie said.

“Oh I always wanted to do urban exploring!” Star said.

“What if the house falls apart or falls on you?” Danny said

“We can call 911,” Danny accepted Star’s answer. 

“Still I don’t-” 

“Look there’s Dash!” Kwan motioned his friend over.

Dash ran up the driveway, the Ouija board tucked under his arm. “I found it!” he said, holding it up in the air. Everyone gave a quick cheer, some holding up their sodas, others returning to their meals. 

“Did you guys get me anything?” Dash asked. 

“No. You didn’t ask bro.”

“What! But I had to find the stupid board!”

“Calm down Dash, you can have my fries,” Danny handed his fries over to dash. The hulking football star groaned before he joined them. An annoyed expression on his face as he munched on the fries. 

“So you wanna explain why it had to be that Ouija board and not like, something from the dollar store?” Valerie asked.

“This one is a family heirloom. My great Nana told me they smuggled this over when the Nazi’s started bombing France. It’s been in my family since the 1600’s or something like that, and I figured since it’s so old it has to work. We just, uh, have to be careful, my Great-Nana will kill me if this gets damaged.” 

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this then. I wouldn’t want to get on the bad side of great-grandma-Baxter.” 

“Oh Danny cut it out. We all agreed to do this, it's too late to back out now” Paulina snapped. 

“Are you scared Danny?” Dash said. 

“NO! I’m not scared.” 

“Aw it's okay Danny Valerie is here to be the brave one tonight.” Star and Valerie burst out into laughter. 

“Hey don’t forget about me.” Dash flexed his muscles. 

“Pff as if,” 

“What?” 

“Do you remember last year at the Halloween fair? You screamed like a girl when that clown came up behind you,” Valerie snickered. 

“Hey, we all saw It. Clowns are scary. And whatever, are you guys ready to go in or not?” Dash said. 

The sun was starting to set below the horizon, the shadows around them were merging into big swaths of darkness. The houses’ windows were now completely black, like a void had taken over the walls of the house, and watched their every move. Dash tried the front door, first gently pulling on it, then yanking it, then he used his whole body to pull it open. 

“I think it’s locked.” Paulina said. 

“Then maybe we should-” 

“NO!” Everyone cut Danny off. 

Dash motioned for Kwan, and together the two boys grasped the handle and pulled for dear life. But the door refused to budge. Staying back with the girls, Danny whipped his head around for any sign of the ghost. CRACK! The boys fell over the steps with the door handle still in their hands. Without its rusted handle or lock, the door swung open with a long high pitch creek.

[venusinsilk]

birthday wishlist? 🙂

Hi I never answered this my bday was back in July and I had a huge party with cake and friends and music and I took lsd and had lots of fun in my house I share with my boyfriend :) that's what I wanted and i got it! Thanks for asking. Anyway I'm just going to post things I want now

Diana Ho Designs on Etsy is one of my fav pages to stare at and just feel yearning I want everything she makes!!! Her designs are so delicate and beautiful and sexy. I love everything in her store but the body chains in particular are sooooo gorgeous and I'm planning to reward myself with one of the body chains i want when I reach a savings goal next year :) I love that she uses high quality gold filled chains... her jewelry is water safe and won't turn my skin green ;) I really want to start supporting local artists and jewelers who are independent, and she happens to be from LA too. I can't wait to buy one of her pieces!!!!!!! Money spent locally on artists who live in your area is always better than at a huge company like Walmart or Target or whatever. Your $$$ stays in your local economy longer and supports your community when you spend with individual people and small businesses!

I'm learning about jewelry and color theory in regards to skin tone right now and I've come to the conclusion that silver, white gold, pearls and opals would suit me well. But I love gold and copper too much to stop trying to wear those colors, and I want to try experimenting with mixing metals when I wear jewelry. I want to build out a thoughtful and cohesive collection with pieces purchased from independent designers and give away most of my older things I never wear. I've been spending my free time in the wee hours of the morning after I get home from work browsing jewelers on Etsy. I love the look of hammered metals in particular, and I've been drawn to coins and oval coins that reflect light like drops of water 💧

I want piercings!! I was so poor throughout my 20s I never got any more piercings beyond my septum. It just wasn't a priority for me. And my earlobs closed up!! Lmao i cant even wear earrings. I'm planning to get my earlobes pierced again in January. This time I want 3 piercings along my lobes so i can stack different earrings and studs, along with a double helix :) I'm also considering getting a Daith piercing later in the year after my ears heal. I found a piercing shop in my city that makes jewelry in house and stocks unique pieces from independent designers and I'm very much looking forward to supporting them!

I also want to get thin rings to stack on my days off. Hand jewelry is tricky for me because I'm a baker, I can't wear jewelry during my work week and I rarely paint my nails. That being said, putting on rings feels very special to me because it never happens! Taking an hour out of my weekend to paint my nails and make my hands look pretty is something i wouldn't mind doing more often. It's more about setting aside time to be alone and make myself feel beautiful, making my self esteem a priority. I'm interested in collecting thin, understated rings that are gold or silver filled, again so they don't turn my skin green. There are so many gorgeous designs on Etsy, that's where I do most of my browsing now, and they're affordable.

[nancypullen]

Friday

It was a long week, a weird week too. In the library we see loads of nice people, but we also see our fair share of wackadoodles. On Wednesday I arrived at work to unlock the doors, get things ready to open, take our deposit to the bank, etc. The parking lot was empty when I arrived with the exception of a woman who appeared to be intoxicated. Most of my brain focused on how sad it was that she was under the influence at 8:45 in the morning. But the curious part of my brain was entertained by her actions. She stood at the entry, looking at her reflection in the door, and raised and lowered her shirt while shouting (something I couldn't make out). She thought it was hilarious.

As I walked up to the door, hoping that our interaction would be a good one, I said, "Good morning!" She stared at me for a minute and then said, "Heyyyyy, peace lady earrings smile." I was wearing peace sign earrings, so I guess it all made sense. About fifteen minutes later a coworker came in and said that our friend at the door had made fun of her green shoes. Everyone's a fashion critic.

During my lunch break that same day I decided to treat myself to Starbucks. It's only a couple of minutes from the library so I zipped over. While sitting at a red light, I noticed a fellow on a bike waiting to cross. There was white hair poking out of his helmet so I was admiring his gusto when I noticed something else... sitting on his handlebars was a big ol' parrot.

Terrible picture because I had to zoom in and then the darn bird kept turning away. I think he was embarrassed. He knows he's supposed to wear a helmet. As the full Flower Moon drew closer things just got weirder and weirder. Patrons asked kooky questions, another coworker quit (that's 4 in the last four months!), I was asked to paint those snake rocks (shudder), and so on. But I still love a full moon and I couldn't wait to sit on the porch and soak it up. I plan to do a lot of porch sittin' for the next couple of days. Isn't it pretty?

I probably should have swept before snapping that, but this is real life, not a magazine.

There's a fern to the left of the front door. SItting beside that fern is a cute little pig that the grandgirl named Maybe, after a pig in a storybook.

On the opposite end of the porch, where it wraps around just a bit, is where I like to sit and read. It's not fluffed up just yet, but it's serviceable.

I'm short enough to sit on that loveseat and prop my legs on the railing. It's comfy. That stretch of dirt you see along the side of the house is popping up tiny zinnias and sunflowers. It'll be a glorious riot of color this summer. There's also bee balm and a climbing rose just out of the photo. From that spot, if I look to the right I can watch the chickadee family that's occupying the little white birdhouse.

All in all, a really lovely place to waste some time. Though it's not really wasted time if it recharges your batteries, right?

After getting the mulch down I poked around a bit and gave all of the plants a pep talk. The basil, dill, and cilantro look fantastic. The rosemary isn't thriving. I've never in my life had a rosemary plant that didn't do well. I wonder what she needs from me. More sun, less sun, more water, less water? She's in a pot with several types of flowers, is there someone she's not getting along with? Some plants don't play well with others. I'll figure it out. I've got to run up to Walmart and buy spray paint for the rocksssss. Since the basil is growing like gangbusters I'm tempted to pick up an eggplant and make eggplant cutlets with fresh mozzarella and a big slice of tomato. It's so yummy. Fresh basil takes it over the top.

This is the recipe I use, so simple and absolutely delicious.

I'd better wrap this up and go get some paint. I have big ideas and I'm not sure how to execute them - never stopped me before. Just wanted to reach out from my little corner of the web and tell you that I think you're fabulous. You really are. I double dog dare you to name three things that you like about yourself. Are you smart, kind, creative, hardworking, generous, witty, athletic, punctual, efficient, organized, flexible, a snappy dresser, helpful, or any number of other good things? Think about how much you'd admire those same qualities in someone else. See? You're fabulous, own it. Sending out love and full moon vibes. Stay safe, stay well, get kooky. XOXO, Nancy

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

April 30, 2024

CAMPUS PROTESTS: THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

So Wilson, it must be déjà vu all over again for you and the guys in the band. Campus demonstrations — students getting beat up and arrested. It's gotta bring back fond memories of the war in Vietnam. Cops wielding batons, bloody foreheads, handcuffs, all that good stuff. It's like 1968 all over again. It started at Columbia University where students apparently don't appreciate their bloody fingerprints all over the 34,000 dead in Gaza. The protests spread from NYU to USC. It's the same but different from protests over our disastrous and deadly 10-year soiree through Southeast Asia. The National Guard hasn't killed any students yet — like at Kent State on May 4, 1970 — but give it time. Remember those days, Wilson, when young people wouldn't take ownership of all the bullshit the old, white men were up to in the nation's capital. Those screwups. It's always the young people who have it together. What was the battle cry back then — sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. It does have a ring to it. Yes Wilson, we know, you and the guys took it very seriously. Such dedication. This time around Republicans in Congress are getting into the act with public executions of university presidents for allowing civil disobedience. Meanwhile they hail Jan. 6 insurrectionists as heroes. What're you gonna do? Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll.

TOP 10 NAMES FOR UTAH'S NEW NHL TEAM

The Arizona Coyotes NHL hockey franchise is moving to Utah and there's a big buzz over what to name them. Already a bunch of dumb names have been suggested, such as The Pucks, The Blades, The Pioneers etc. etc. So the staff here at Smart Bombs got to work on some totally better proposals. Here they are:

10 – Latter-day Saints

9 – The Jack Mos

8 – Crispy Creams

7 – Swarming Locusts

6 – The Salt Water Taffy

5 – Jesus's Sunbeams

4 – Jiggly Jell-Os

3 – Skating Apostates

2 – Gayful Rainbows

1 – What's wrong with the Coyotes, anyway. We kill plenty of them in Utah each year. How about Grateful Dead Coyotes?

TO RECUSE OR NOT RECUSE — THAT IS NOT THE QUESTION

Recently Rep. Jamie Raskin, D-Md. suggested the U.S. Supreme Court move its chambers to the headquarters of the National Republican Committee because the justices act like partisan hacks. Nanner, nanner, nanner! Raskin took out after the high court's conservative majority as they looked to be receptive to Trump's claim of absolute immunity. But the big question is, does the RNC have parking for Justice Clarence Thomas' 40-foot, $267,000 motor home that he purchased with a “loan” from billionaire Anthony Welters. If not, he'll have to leave it at the Walmart parking lot. During the recent immunity hearing nothing was mentioned about Thomas' wife, Ginni, and her critical involvement in a conspiracy to keep Trump in power after he lost the 2020 election. Some of those liberal nit-pickers say Clarence should recuse himself because he appears to have a conflict of interest. But just because Ginni was up to her neck in the planned coup is no reason Clarence should bow out. That would signal jurisprudence, which has little to do with the Roberts Court mission statement. It hews toward “originalism,” that is, bullshitting your way through any argument by claiming to read the minds of the long-dead framers of the Constitution. And then there's always voodoo.

Post script — That's a wrap for another fabulous but frightening April here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of the nastiness at the Utah Republican State Convention so you don't have to. Hey Wilson, if you think Marjorie Taylor Greene is a bitch you weren't at the state GOP convention. There was so much malevolence there that it threatened to peel the paint off the convention center walls. It made MTG look like a Girl Scout. Let's agree to disagree or I'll rip your f-ing head off. Eesch! The rabid right contingent even booed the mild mannered Gov. Spencer Cox, to which he retorted: “Maybe you hate that I don’t hate enough.” The Party of Trump, where if you ain't mean, you ain't American. People believe what they want to believe. For example: 9/11 was an inside job. George W. Bush pulled it off so he could expand government power and the military industrial complex to profit on the war on terror. Don't forget Pizzagate. Hillary Clinton and her band of thugs ran a child sex ring in the basement of a pizza place in D.C. One problem: no basement. For his part, Donald Trump made 30,573 false or misleading statements while president, according to The Washington Post. Hey Wilson, did you hear that Trump won the 2020 election. It must be true — just ask the MAGAtes.

Reality isn't for sissies. As it was in Vietnam, it's up to the college kids to point out the slaughter in Gaza is inhumane. And as it was then, too, the response of university administrations is flat-footed and dumb-headed. The more things change, well ... So Wilson, get the guys in the band and take us back to the future:

There's something happening here But what it is ain't exactly clear There's a man with a gun over there Telling me I got to beware I think it's time we stop Children, what's that sound? Everybody look - what's going down? There's battle lines being drawn Nobody's right if everybody's wrong Young people speaking' their minds Getting so much resistance from behind It's time we stop Hey, what's that sound? Everybody look - what's going down? What a field day for the heat A thousand people in the street Singing songs and carrying signs Mostly saying, "hooray for our side" It's time we stop Hey, what's that sound? Everybody look - what's going down? Paranoia strikes deep Into your life it will creep It starts when you're always afraid Step out of line, the man come and take you away We better stop Hey, what's that sound? Everybody look - what's going down?

(For What It's Worth — Buffalo Springfield)

[petunia-petals-please]

Red and Purple: The New Black

A Hair Dying Adventure with My Boyfriend

I always like to change the color of  my hair. Last time I did a purple, blue, green ombre. This time I wanted a simple red and purple, but the thought of doing it myself always seemed daunting. I am never certain of the exact style I want to dye my hair. There are just so many options . . . Red and Purple, The New Black

That’s where my boyfriend comes in – he offered to assist me in the hair dying process and let me tell you, he did an amazing job!

Red and Purple: The New Black

We started off with a trip to Walmart

I immediately bolted to the hair section to gather all of the necessary materials, including the hair dye (Midnight Ruby and Purple Desire), developer, gloves, and a brush. The Splat already came with bleach so that was another easy win for me. YAY! Once we got home, we dove right in. My boyfriend read the instructions first and then began to mix the dye and developer together.

Red and Purple: The New Black

Once we got started

I soon realized that I forgot to grab clips to keep the aluminum foil folded around my hair properly. But that was a minor setback for my boyfriend. He quickly realized that he could just wrap the foil around my hair so that it clings into place. WE DON'T NEED NO TIN FOIL!

As we waited for the dye to set

 We went down into the basement to continue sanding down the front bumper of the tow truck. Before we are to get some paint on the truck, it is best to scrape the chrome lining first. My boyfriend showed me the different types of sandpaper to use when buffing the trucks bumper. He told me that it is better to use sandpaper that is more is more fine and has a higher grit. The higher the grit the better for scraping chrome for a paint job. After the Bumpers done, the headlights are next!

Red and Purple: The New Black

Anyways

Before we knew it, it was time to wash my hair. Naturally, I decided to take a nice, long warm bath and soak for a while. My hair has only been sitting for two and a half hours at the point. What’s another two hours?  Finally, I rinsed out the dye and was left with the most vibrant and luscious red and purple locks I had ever seen!

My boyfriend is a natural at hair dying. I am so ecstatic with the way that my hair has turned out! I feel like a new person. All thanks to my boyfriend; I can now confidently say that I am officially a red and purple haired goddess.

Red and Purple: The New Black

[synchlora]

fuckit im wearing the matrix coat

[starsoflyra]

Walmart SBI on a road triiiiip! Consider me obsessed with this dynamic (Ironically I was actually on a road trip while watching this stream!)

[Image ID: A digital painting of Philza, Eret, Ranboo, and Tubbo in a minivan. Philza’s in the driver’s seat, Eret’s got shotgun, Ranboo’s taking up the middle seat, and Tubbo’s in the back with all the bags. It’s pretty much the human version of their characters (not the cc’s) because I didn’t want to figure out how to fit Philza’s wings into the car lmao. Philza’s wearing his traditional striped bucket hat, a green polo shirt, and brown khakis. He’s smiling frustratedly and leaning forward in the seat, hands gripping the wheel. Eret’s wearing a white sweatshirt, blue jeans, and red and white sneakers. They’re reclining back in their seat and listening to music through a pair of earbuds, feet up on the dashboard, a fast food shake held in their right hand, nails painted a tasteful shade of red. They’ve got a crown barrette in their curly brown hair, and underneath their sunglasses, they’re smirking. In the back of the car, Tubbo’s leaning forward over the middle seat and trying to grab the bag of gummy worms Ranboo’s clutching. He’s wearing a green sweater and white button-up. Ranboo’s leaning back, pushing away from Tubbo, one hand up in the air clutching a gummy worm. He’s wearing a pair of dark jeans, a white T-shirt, and a monochromatic floral shirt. On the floor next to him is a purple backpack. Next to Tubbo is a cute little bee plushy. In the trunk are a pile of blue, orange, brown, and red duffels (plus a toy diamond sword). Trees and sky blur past the windows.]

[tyrian-stuck]

Drabble for Fuchsia tavros please?

The seige upon the Earth had gone on for seven months. The actual war with humanity lasted only seven days. If Jade's estimates were correct, the complete annihilation of the human race would take only seven more weeks.

The invaders, trolls as they were called, were like an invasive species. A problem far outside of Earth's context, that nothing in mankind's history could have prepared it for. Grandpa always told her it was a hunter's duty to wipe out any such species, there would be no game to hunt if the ecosystem was destroyed.

While Jade certainly couldn't do that in this case, she could preserve what little was left. Trolls may have been an outside context problem to humanity, but the invaders were just as unprepared to contend with her best friend.

Jade appeared back in the garden in a flash of green light, Becquerel by her side. Her trusty rifle and a back pack hung from her shoulder straps. "Okay, everyone, I'm back!" She said cheerfully as people gathered around, casually putting out a small fire in her hair without even looking. "That's going to be the last trip I can make to America for, uh, awhile... Long story. Okay! We've got food, medicine, clothing..."

She continued through the list as she handed out supplies to pass around, having mostly memorized by now who needs what. Judging by the feeling of Bec's tail suddenly beating against her leg, Jade assumed Dave flash stepped over and started petting him.

"Hey." He said once Jade was finished, acting like he was just there by coincidence. Jade did a pretend huff like she knew what he was gonna ask.

"No, Dave, I didn't find any sick shades for you." Dave gave a faux scoff like he was offended by the implication. His eyebrows crept over the square glasses he'd painted black to look like shades. His cracked on a supply run yesterday and so Dave had pestered John for one of his spares.

"Well, damn Harley, someone has to worry about their style around here. The people need a certifiable cool dude to look up to in hours of crisis. And how am I supposed to oblige them without some sick shades? I can't work under these conditions I swear." Jade rolled her eyes and playfully punched him in the arm.

"Yeah, yeah, you're the cooliest dude I know, dork." Dave gasped like he was horrifed, barely hiding the slight smirk under his "shades". He shouted over to Rose and John, who were leaning against a pillar not far away. "Guys, Jade went bananas and punched me."

"Jade, stop bullying Dave. He's very sensitive around women. He probably has a complex about it." Rose shouted back, not even looking up from her book. John snickered beside her as Dave led Jade over. Jade parented to be exasperated by it all, rolling her eyes before breaking down into giggling.

*Alright, alright guys. What's up?" Dave's stance changed a bit. In fact, the whole air got a bit more rigid. Not serious, just concerned.

"So, where did you find the supplies?" Dave asked. Jade scartched her chin.

"Oh, uh... from that old breadstick place by Dave's apartment. There was a clinic nearby."

John nodded as he and Rose shared a concerned look. "Yeah, and the week before that, I did a supply run on that local Walmart." John said. "And Rose picked up some medicine from that old hospital in Wisconsin."

Jade bit her lip as her eyes flicked between the two. "Um, right. Why the recap?"

Rose looked over her shoulder, before leaning into whisper. She hated having to have discussions out in the open like this, but Jade's island was starting to get so crowded that few rooms were ever private for long. Aside from a few personal bedrooms, but those were a long ways away, and this was urgent. "We fear that their Emperor may be tracking us."

Jade's eyes widened. "Wait, the Emperor? Like, their leader, their ruler? That one? Aren't we kinda small potatoes for someone like him?"

Rose closed her book, an old coding book from her mother's lab. "We, or rather, my mother and I, have managed to hack into some surveillance drones and we've recovered the past month's worth of footage." She began laying out pictures on the ground between the four of them. "Every location we've raided was seen being investigated by imperial drones a few days before we were told their were suppiles there."

Jade gulped, a cold sweat breaking out acrossed her forehead. The gold trim, the pink plating. Those were the Emperor's personal drones. "Well, maybe our contact hacked into them? Maybe that's how he knew there were supplies in there."

The air grew colder, outright fridged now. The commotion of the people milling around them seemed miles away suddenly. Dave took off his shades to look Jade in the eye. "Jade... are you sure we can trust him?"

That one caught her off guard, her voice stalled in her throat before she could respond. "I...Yes! Yes, I'm sure we can."

Rose closed her book to make eye contact with Jade. "Hacking into drones used by the Emperor himself would be nigh impossible. Mother and I have tried. If he was truly on our side, don't you think he would've done more with that kind of influence?"

"He's been helping us for months! I..." Jade pulled on her hair, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. It was a good point, one she couldn't really argue with... but still... AT was her friend.

"I'll... I'll talk to him about it."

John leaned over and out an arm around her shoulder. "I'm sorry about this..."

"Don't be... you're just being worried..."

"...Please, just be careful with him, alright."

Jade forced on a smile as she stood up. "I will, John. I always am."

~

Jade slammed the door to her bedroom shut, locking it tight. She let out a deep breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Finally. Her one safe space.

Ahe collapsed onto her bed and pulled out her phone, taking another deeo breath to figure out how she'd even approach this situation. What should she even say? How could you ask, "hey, my friends think you're a spy" without being suspicious? She didn't have long to muse on it before her Pesterchum lit up.

--adiosToreadore [AT] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG]--

AT: hI, jADE, dID YOU GET THOSE SUPPLIES,

AT: tHEY WERE SLIM PICKINGS COMPARED TO LAST WEEK, sO SORRY ABOUT THAT,

AT: bUT WITH ANY LUCK YOU SHOULDN'T NEED TO HOLD OUT TO MUCH LONGER,

Taking one last deep, steadying breath, Jade responded.

GG: hey, tav! yeah, i got them, don't worry.

AT: gREAT, i SAW YOU ENTER THE BUILDING VIA SURVEILLANCE DRONE, bUT I NEVER SAW YOU LEAVE, sO I WASN'T SURE IF YOU WERE BACK YET,

GG: no worries! bec made sure I got back safely.

AT: hEH, yEAH, hE'S A GREAT LUSUS,

AT: oR, uH, pET I GUESS,

AT: oR KINDA BOTH,

AT: hUMAN FAMILIES ARE CONFUSING,

GG:...

AT: uH, i DON'T MEAN TO PRY, bUT ARE YOU OKAY,

AT: YOU'RE NOT AS CHATTY TODAY, aND IT'S PRETTY RARE FOR YOU TO JUST PUT DOWN DOTS AS A REPLY.

AT: yOU HAVEN'T EVEN USED THE :) EMOJI YET,

AT: nOT THAT YOU HAVE TOO.

AT: i'M JUST CONCERNED IS ALL.

GG: yeah i'm fine. it's just, well...

GG: do you think someone's tracking us?

AT: uH, wHY?

GG: well.... hmmmm....

GG: it's just...

GG: there was an imperial drone staking out our last supply drop. It looked... high ranking...

AT: ,,,,oH,

GG: ring any bells?

AT: ,,,

AT: yOU'RE, uH, rEALLY SMART JADE,

AT: i'M SURE YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT,

GG: i was hoping you could help me on that front.

AT: nO, sEE, tHAT'S THE PROBLEM, i CAN'T LET YOU,

GG: what?

--aquaticToreador [AT] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG]--

AT: i'M SORRY, jADE,

GG: WHAT!?

Jade heard the sharp crackle of electricity outside her window. Pulling her rifle to her side, she rushed over to investigate.

Hordes of people were disappearing into thin air below her, crackling out of existence as the green thunder flooded the entire island. It was like they were all being vaporized. Or teleported.

"Bec...?" She whispered out in horror. Immediately, she ran for the door, but her dog was already there. The empty white expanse on Becquerel's face had been replaced with two pink lines, pseudo eyes that weren't his own. The First Guardian moved stiffly, almost tiredly, as he walked towards her, the green glow now illuminating the entire room.

"Bec, wait, don't!"

But her friend wasn't there to listen. Jade's word disappeared in a flash of green light. Then, darkness and silence.

~

When Jade came to, she almost thought she was back in her island, waking up from a bad dream. The bright blue sky, the sun beating down on her face, the nice shadow of a tree blocking most the heat. Any minute now, she expected Bec to trod over and lick her until she woke up completely, but he never did. She sat up with a yawn and a stretch, adjusting her glasses that she'd foolishly fallen asleep in again. She really needed to get that sleeping problem fixed eventually. As her vision cleared, she quickly realized this was not her home.

There were people here. Confused people milling around in confusion in varying degrees of panic. It wasn't until her memory came back that Jade had the slightest clue as to why.

Bec!

She stood up with a jolt, glancing around rapidly. Where was that guy? "Bec? Bec!" She shouted, pushing through the branches and running through the trees. Even in her state of panic and confusion, she knew this place wasn't natural. Wildly different kinds of trees were planted together, with seemingly no thought out into where they grew naturally.

"Bec! Bec! Beeeeeeec!"

Jade ran through a bush and suddenly skid to a hault. She was met with a wall of clear glass, barely visible to her. She was lucky she didn't run right into it. Outside of it appeared to be a museum of some kind... or more accurately a zoo.

Held back behind more glass windows were massive biomes, rich and teaming with exotic combinations of life. Combinations that would be impossible on her or any world. Behind some, she saw other Earth animals, even other humans, trudging through winter snow or relaxing on beautiful beaches. Behind others, she saw lifeforms she could never even dream of before now.

It wasn't until her shocked expression trailed down that she matched gazes with a small, shy boy in a wheel chair. He looked to be about her age, even he was likely far older if she understood how trolls age correctly. His hair was styled in a small mop of a mohawk that only served to make his giant horns stand out all the more. Everything he wore, the pink symbol on his shirt, the tyrian linings on his jack, the tiara on his head, screamed royalty, but his demeanor was completely antithetical to that.

The boy looked almost embarrassed to be noticed like this, quietly whispering to the large guards at his side to leave. He stares back at her as they left, nervous and conflicted, before leaning forward from his wheelchair and pressing a button beneath the window.

A speaker somewhere crackled to life. "Uh... hello Jade."

Jade raised an eyebrow as she crouched down to his eye level. "Um, hi? ...Where am I? How do you know me?"

The boy smiled, sharp teeth contrasting his timid demeanor. "I'm Tavros! It's good to meet you!"

Jade's eyes furrowed, the diplomatic smile she'd put up suddenly gone. "What. Did you do."

Sensing the sudden shift in tone, Tav put his hands up diplomatically. "Nothing! Well, uh, nothing that would hurt you anyways..."

"Where's Bec! Where are my friends!!"

Jade slammed her fist against the glass. Predictably, it didn't break, instead just panging loudly as she shook her fist in pain. "Please don't do that. It was designed to electrocute you if you risk actually cracking it."

"Well, what am I supposed to do, you locked me up! You took my dog and probably my friends too!"

Tavros sushed her as he made patting motions in her direction, almost looking like he about to start papping her through the glass. "I know this is scary and, uh, weird. But I have a good reason for this-"

"You'd better!"

"If! If, uh, you'd just let me explain. This all has a good reason behind it, I promise." He took a deep breath as he tugged on his jacket zipper, face fins reluctantly puffing back up again. "See, I'm not... imprisoning you... per say... I'm protecting you."

Tavros leaned forward again, as if about to deliver somber news. The break that made him need the wheelchair must not have happened in the spine if he had such good lumbar support. Or, at least, not in the upper areas of the spine? Jade didn't know, she wasn't an anatomy expert. "Let's... start from the top. I'm, uh, troll royalty I guess you could say?"

"You're the Emperor?"

"Oh, heh, no. I could never by the Emperor. I tried for the throne once and, uh...." He looked down at his legs and winced. "It didn't go well. No, see, any heir who fails to topple the Emperor gets turned into one of the grand admirals of his navy. He, uh, can't conquer the universe by himself I guess, heh."

Jade scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Oh, excuse me. You're just vice galactic conquerer, not main galactic conquerer."

Again, Tavros winced. "Uh, no. No no no. See, uh, let's just get this straight real quick, because this is something that a lot of people don't grasp. You're not supposed to be here."

"Excuse me?"

Tavros scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "That.. sounds really bad, doesn't it? No, see, trolls were meant to be here. We were planned to exist. Be it by fate or Gl'bgolb or the Mirthful Messiahs..." He trailed off, spinning his hand. "It's like a whole thing. But our existence was planned while yours wasn't. You're, well, an invasive species."

Sensing Jade was clearly getting fed up with this story, Tavros again gestured to calm her down. "And that's not your fault! I realize... you didn't ask to exist. You're just, well, in the way." As he learned forward, he wiggled around in his seat, clearly excited. Jade was reminded vaguely of John when he was allowed to talk about Sassacre for any amount of time. Whatever he was about to say, he wasn't just passionate about it, he loved it.

"It's amazing what the world... does automatically. The ways life can grow anywhere if left alone, even on Alternia, uh... is special to me. The world just... creates beauty, with or without trolls. The universe creates special things, it makes wonderful people... it makes people like you."

Tavros Nitram wasn't malicious. That was the most disturbing thing about it. He wasn't malicious. He wasn't smug. He wasn't cruel or condescending, not in his own mind. This was a favor. This was him being nice. He wasn't betraying their friendship because this was there friendship to him. He was keeping her and her species alive the only way he knew how and saw nothing wrong with keeping the Earth's remnants in a box for him to gawk at as he did so.

Tavros Nitram conquered the Earth in seven months because he was being nice. If he wasn't, Jade and all her friends would be dead right now.

Taking her silent dawning horror to be approval, Tavros nodded cheerfully, grinning widely. "Uh, anyways, I'd better get going. Conquering a gakaxy is always a whole ordeal with paperwork and what not and I still have to figure out what to do with your lusus. We'll catch up next time!"

Jade sprung to her feet. "Tavros wait! Don't!" But it was too late. Tav had already turned off the speakers and turned away. "Where's Bec! Where are my friends!! Tavros!"

She could just barely hear him whistling happily to himself as he wheeled away.

[mrs-gucci]

A Beach Day to Remember {Clyde Logan x Reader}

author’s notes: made it just under the wire for this week’s writer wednesday :) it’s a bit different from my usual writing MO, but I honestly had a blast with it and I’m decently pleased with how it turned out, actually. I wrote this late at night while I was half-asleep lol so sorry if it’s a little all over the place! thanks, as always, to @autumnleaves1991-blog for hosting & @clydesducktape​ for helping out! it’s such a great and fun weekly tradition!

warnings: fluff. humor. romance. beach fun. chair wrestling. a quick lil makeout session (nothing explicit). 

no tw’s :)

word count: 2.2k

clyde’s taglist peeps! @goddessofsprings​ my general taglist peeps!  @frank-and-honey @shygirl268 @icarusinthesea​  @gildedstarlight​ @mrs-zimmerman @soldmysoulagain @roseepossee @pascalisfairyy​ @I-can’t-draw-faces @ahsoka1 @safarigirlsp​ @babbushka

By some miracle, you’d convinced born-and-raised country boy Clyde Logan to accompany you to Miami Beach for a week. A whole week, you couldn’t believe it. 

And...he actually bought a pair of swim trunks. Sure, they were a West Virginia Walmart buy, but hey, he bought a pair; you’ll take what you can get.

Who was this man and what has he done with Clyde Logan?

He’s never really been to the beach before, Mamma Logan didn’t like bein’ in the sun too long and Pappa wasn’t about to cross her, so this was his first time. 

Your family used to vacation here every year, so you were relatively familiar with the notoriously rowdy town. The first evening and night consisted of you showing a wide-eyed Clyde around Miami’s bustling night life. But, when the sun came up the next morning, he was revving to get down to the beach.

You had to talk him down a bit there at first, convincing him to eat somethin’ for breakfast before spending a whole entire day in the sun ‘cause if he passes out, he’s on his own getting back to the condo.

“I’m gon’ go get changed fer the beach!” He says excitedly, clapping his hands together and doing a little jog over to the dresser the second you two get back from your sidewalk cafe breakfast.

You smile at his enthusiasm, trying to remember the last time you saw him so openly excited and smiley. After only a few moments of thought, you realize that you’ve never seen him quite like this before. But, you’re certainly taking a liking to vacation Clyde.

Both Mellie and Jimmy requested plenty of photos of, and this is a direct quote, “Clyde’s long, pasty-ass legs in swim shorts”, and you’re nothing if not accommodating...

As soon as he steps out of the bathroom, you quickly say “Smile!” and snap a picture of him in his leaf-pattern hunter green trunks. He frowns, striding over to where you’re standing.

“Hey now pumpkin, who’re ya sendin’ that off to?”

You giggle, typing out his sibling’s contacts into your messages. “Nobody...”

His eyes widen when he sees Jimmy and Mellie’s names. He tries to grab the phone away from you, but as he takes it, his palm accidentally nudges the little ‘send’ icon. 

“G’damnit! I fuckin’ sent it to ‘em!”

You’re cracking up as he frantically tries to somehow un-send the message, despite you trying to repeatedly convince him that there’s literally nothing that can be done at this point; the message is permanent.

Almost immediately, the replies begin to pile in and Clyde quickly puts a hand over his face as your phone chimes continuously.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

“‘m never gonna hear the end ‘a this when we get back home.” He groans. “Now they got that picture forever and they’re never gonna stop showin’ it...Oh ma god, they’re gonna put it in our weddin’ slideshow, a-and our future kids ‘re gonna see it, and it’s gonna be shown at ma funeral...”

You laugh, shaking your head as you put your hands on his bare, freckle-painted chest. “Hon, I really wouldn’t worry that much about it. It’ll all blow over in a little bit, I promise. Plus, I now have evidence that you actually came to the beach with me. I have a feeling our future kids won’t believe me when I tell them this story someday.”

Clyde starts laughing, running his hands down the curve of your body before landing on your hips. He pulls you in for a kiss, moving his lips gently against yours.

Your face scrunches when he starts licking into your mouth and the bitter taste of zinc overwhelms your taste buds.

“Mmmm, mmm, Clyde?”

He pulls away, brows furrowed.

“Did you put some zinc on your lips?”

His cheeks turn pink and he looks away bashfully. “Oh, yeah, I did. ‘m sorry, I forgot ‘bout that.”

“It’s alright, no need to apologize.” You chuckle, shaking your head. “I love you.”

He smiles, placing a kiss on your forehead this time, rather than your lips.

“Love ya too, pumpkin.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clyde’s like a kid at a candy store when he gets down to the beach, quickly putting the cooler down on the sand and dropping his chair down next to it. The sunglasses sit just above the bridge of his zinc-whitened nose as his head moves around to drink in the sights unfolding before him.

You giggle to yourself as you watch him, setting your beach bag down with the cooler before beginning to set up your chair. But your man quickly jumps in and insists on unfolding the chair for you even though, as you’ll soon find out, he has zero idea how to operate a folding beach chair. To be fair, it was one of those older-fashioned ones that had sustained quite a bit of rust.

“Now, how in the world...?” He grumbles, trying to unfold the stubborn thing. He tries just about every method he could think up, at one point he was trying to use his flip-flop equipped foot to aid in the unfolding process, but he still cannot get the damn chair open.

Eventually, a curious (and very entertained) bystander comes over and helps the two of you out with your chairs, and both of you thank them profusely before finally beginning your day at the beach. Clyde remains standing, continuing to look around at all the things happening on the beach while you lay back and open your book to begin reading.

After a bit of sunning time, you and Clyde head down to the water. You keep your feet in the cool water while he stands further in, little waves crashing mid-calf. He finds a nice shell and runs up to put it back at your little setup while you stay and watch as the natural push and pull of the ocean slowly buries your feet in the sand.

Suddenly, a flesh arm comes on your back and a metallic arm scoops behind your knees, lifting you up as you squeal. 

“Clydeeee!”

He laughs, rushing into the water while holding you bridal-style, water splashing up all over both you and him with each of his massive strides. As soon as he knows he’s deep enough, he starts swinging you back and forth.

“One...Two...”

You’re in a fit of laughter, playfully hitting his chest. “Noooooo! Stooopppp!”

“Three!” Clyde tosses you into the blue-green water of the Atlantic as you screech, a big splash accompanying your collision with the surface.

You emerge a moment later, quickly rushing up and jumping into his arms, causing him to fall backwards into the water. He laughs when he resurfaces and splashes you in the face teasingly, to which you respond by doing the exact same thing.

“No more splashin’!” He says, chuckling to himself at the irony of his exclamation.

You laugh, splashing him one more time. “You’re the one that started it, you goof!”

“Now, let’s not play the blame game, pumpkin.” He smiles jokingly, then wraps his arms around your torso, head nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

Both of you spend a bit more time in the water before heading back up to your chairs to dry off in the sun and re-apply sunscreen. Clyde ends up falling asleep, a few shells he found in the water spread out on the top of his thighs as he snoozes.

Only about fifteen minutes later, you look over and put a hand over your mouth to cover the giggles that come when you see that one of the shells has sprouted some legs in preparation for an escape attempt. The creature begins crawling and he starts squirming a bit at the ticklish sensation, clearly beginning to re-awaken from his early afternoon slumber. 

When his eyes blink open and he looks down, he gasps, launching backwards in his chair. Unfortunately, the old-school beach chair already struggles to hold his massive form, so when he jumps back, the chair gives out and breaks clean in half, sending Clyde back into the sand. 

The poor crab is thrust into the sand, but it’s alright, quickly crawling back towards the ocean. You immediately stand up, trying not to laugh too hard until you know he’s completely alright. 

“Oh my fuck...Clyde! Are you okay, hon?”

He nods, chuckling softly. “’m alright, though I can’t say the same for this here chair, though.”

You giggle, helping him sit back up in the sand. When he’s fully sat up, he’s still smiling and laughing, shaking his head.

“Well, I suppose I owe the condo owners a new beach chair.”

--

A full, active day at the beach has you pretty fucking exhausted when you two finally head back up to the condo around four in the afternoon. You take a quick cat nap while Clyde showers, then you hop in and wash off the day’s sunscreen and sand.

While you’re in the shower, Clyde rifles through his duffle and pulls out a little velvet box, popping it open to expose the glittering diamond ring that sits on a little pillow. He smiles at the sight, knowing that tonight’s the night he’s finally gonna ask you to be his forever.

He’s been waiting for the right moment for a short while now, and after the fun y’all had at the beach today and the sunset beach walk he’s planning to take you on before your fancy dinner reservations later this evening...he can’t think of a more perfect time to do it.

You step out of the bathroom and Clyde scrambles to quickly tuck the ring box into his khaki pants pocket. He smooths his hands over the fabric before standing up, face breaking out into a wide smile when he sees the beautiful sundress you’ve got on.

“You’re so beautiful, pumpkin.” He says, smiling as he walks up to you, hands on your hips. “Always so, so beautiful.”

Your expression stretches into a bright, genuine smile as you get up on your tiptoes for a kiss. “Thank you, Clyde. You look awfully handsome yourself this evening.”

“Oh, well, thank ya, darlin’.” His cheeks grow red as he looks down for a moment, shoving his hands down in his pockets. “So, do ya wanna go on a sunset walk ‘fore our reservations?”

You agree, and the two of you head back down to the beach. His fingers fiddle with the little box in his pocket as you walk along the beach. Soon, you reach an old lifeguards stand, painted in brilliant mint green and flamingo pink colors. The ‘No Lifeguard on Duty’ paint is still visible, even after some seeming wear and tear to the outside of the building. 

The sun’s touching down on the horizon line as he guides you up onto the old structure’s small front deck, and you lean over the railing together as the sun sinks down. 

Your head turns to look over at your beloved boyfriend, admiring the way the sherbet sky reflects off of and compliments his alabaster skin. God he’s beautiful, you think to yourself for what has to be the millionth time in your three years of dating Clyde. He’ll forever be the most beautiful man in your eyes.

He turns to you then, standing up with a shaky hand reaching out to take yours. “Uh, Y/N, there’s somethin’...somethin’ I wanna do ‘fore we head off to dinner.”

You nod, eyebrows furrowing.

“Sure, hon. Are you alright, though? You’re shaking a bit.”

“’m alright, pumpkin.”

Clyde nods and then, he sinks down onto one knee, wobbling a bit as he adjusts to the new position. He steadies shortly after and then, he pulls the box out of his pocket and opens it up, exposing the ring he spent hours picking out for you.

You’re in shock, hands over your mouth as he smiles up at you, tears already forming in his eyes.

“Y/N, I-I knew when I first met ya that you were gon’ be the woman I wanted to s...spend the rest of ma life with. Y-Yer so funny ‘n kind ‘n so, so beautiful; yer just...yer perfect, p-pumpkin.”

You feel the tears beginning to spill out of the corners of your eyes as he continues, tears now running down his cheeks as well.

“I love y-ya more than life itself, Y/N, an’ I...I wanna spend the rest of ma livin’ days on this planet by yer side. Will ya...will ya marry me?”

Time seems to stand still for Clyde, then, his nerves overwhelming and overtaking his entire being. The seconds between his final word and your response are some of the longest and most anxious seconds of his life, but damnit, they were well worth it.

“Yes, Clyde, yes. O-Of course I’ll marry you.” You say, smiling as he stands to pull you in for a passionate kiss.

He’s overjoyed, really, heart racing but in the best possible way. You said yes. You’re gonna be his wife, his Mrs. Logan.

“God, I love ya.” Clyde whispers against your lips, pulling the ring from its place on the delicate pillow. “I love ya so, so much, Y/N.”

“I love you t-too, Clyde.” You smile, holding your left hand out for him to slip the ring onto your finger. It’s a perfect fit, and you immediately pull him in for a hug. “I can’t wait to marry you, hon, can’t wait to become Mrs. Logan.”

He grins widely, pressing another few kisses onto your lips.

“Mrs. Y/N Logan, ma beautiful wife, ma forever partner.”

You nod, sniffling softly.

“Your forever partner.”