#but um it was literally like nothing
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First ever tattoo before/after
#no I’m not fully bald yet lol my hairs just up#also ignore my pterodactyl grip n old ass phone case#but yeah! very exciting! cant believe I actually did it#also I know it was just cuz of the location but man all you bitches out there always gave me the impression that it hurt like hell#but um it was literally like nothing#I had originally planned on having them more like down and over but I think my artist was right when he said it would be a weird angle#plus it would be sort of weirdly close to the armpit so he was right lol#he also called me a pussy hahah for putting it off for so long which like yeah so true#literally just laying on the couch in my underwear rn I love my new apartment#I’m resisting the urge but it’s already got me wondering what one I wanna get next#hmm what is my face tag#mars.mugshots
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fascinated by just how much marvel movies (and shows) managed to perfect the formula of making 2 male characters Just gay enough that the fans who want that will go UMMM IT'S NOT BAIT THEY'RE LITERALLY GAY LOOK!!!! but not too gay that homophobes even pick up on there being any subtext let alone get mad. extremely insidious form of bait. obvious examples being fatws and loki and more recently deadpool 3 and now venom 3
#it actually makes me feel like im going insane. engineered specifically to upset noone and commit to nothing#and the worst part is every time i say this people immediately#go ''um no it's literally gay? didnt you see x scene??'' im sorry but you are just proving my exact point.#venom#venom 3#venom spoilers#venom the last dance#anti marvel#anti mcu#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#for the record i havent seen fatws and i never will but i Know.#poolverine#deadclaws#veddie#symbrock
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lighter is a loser. idc i said what i said. behind all the cool nicknames and stylish glasses is someone who looks at you with so much love in his eyes.
it’s unfair that he is a fire attribute because he always ends up lighting a little bit of his clothes or hair on fire when he gets flustered by you. something about seeing you smile, excitedly laughing to him about your day, has him pushing his sunglasses up a little more and staring off to the side. the rest of the sons of calydon can CLEARLY see right through him though. they knew the ominous undefeated champion had a soft spot but seeing him loosen his red scarf and clear his throat was when they knew he was head over heels for you.
he doesn’t have the best memory but even he’d remember small details about you. what drink you’d prefer, which sunglasses he wore had you blushing like crazy. his love for you is quiet on the outside but deep down, it’s a blazing fire that cannot be contained.
#luminotes ˚✧₊⁎☆#lighter zzz#zenless zone zero#zzz#lighter lorenz#lighter zenless zone zero#lighter x you#lighter x reader#lighter x gn reader#can yall um…. tell i have a type#I KNEW I LOVED LIGHTER BEFORE HE WAS DRIP MARKETED#AUGHSGSKHD I WANTED HIM AND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A WHILE BEFORE HE WAS RELEASED#BUT NO THEY RELEASE HIM SO QUICK ???#sorry lycaon and seth….. lighter was always in my heart before it all#and like his leaks ??? IM SOLD !! i was already saving my guaranteed for him hehe#his story quest art thing augh….. need him so badly#ALSO HES A BIT LIKE WRIO#I WILL LOVE YOU IN EVERY UNIVERSE WRIOTHESLEY#i love lighter I CANT WAIT FOR HIMMMMM#also sorry if this is some mischaracterization#we literally have nothing about him so ermmm this is the best i can do#sorry yall love u saurrr muchh <33
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seeing people claim that lucanis is 'bad representation' is hilarious to me because in so many ways he's really the closest anything has ever gotten to capturing my own personal experience. sorry for being bad real life queer and mental health/neurodiversity representation folks 😔 I'll take time to reflect and do some work on myself and try to do better in the future
#it's lucanis and harrowhark nonagesimus. I'm basically in the middle of that venn diagram. it's about as fun as it sounds lol#but. we. stay. silly. we stay silly. *deep breath* we stay silly#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#it does show bioware kind of are fucked coming and going tho. taash' character arc holds your hand too much apparently#and the moment lucanis' arc lets go of your hand for a second you walk directly into traffic and scream 'why would bioware do me like this'#is either arc perfect? no of course not as I apparently have to state every time to the point of tediousness. but also there clearly#is no winning everyone over anyway and people will invent problems that frankly do not exist. tilting at windmills gamer style#'is this just maybe not 100% 4 me but a bit for someone else? no. it's the writers who are objectively wrong and we all agree on this'#tooltip pop up: that is literally never true. there's NOTHING we all agree on. this is dragon age fandom.#you have been alive long enough to write words and access the internet. you know this if you search your heart#and think about it for even a second. so please do that before posting in the tag where I have to see it#as always 'your experience is not universal' is a useful thing to keep in the back of your head lol#also why lucanis is autistic To Me. a different flavour than taash and potentially bellara but the flavour closest to um. well. me lol
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been thinking abt book 4 again,,,
#actual drawing program??? whats that i only know and love aggie#it is literally only one brush i like on there and it is so wonderful#scarabia the silly guys#nothing bad ever happens to the—#jamil you’ll never betray me right???#heavy blow to the gut#falling over#some little notes i wannaaaa say#BEWARE!! BOOK 4 SPOILERS AFTER THUS#used both kalim and jamils UM magic in the piece and u can kiiinda see jamil’s UM seeping over to kalims side#which is like the magic taking over#ykykykyk#and i drew a teeny moon and sun on each of their sides cause idk they r very dual like that#and idk if its noticeable anymore but#i drew red for jamils eye first and covered it w blue but left some red spots which is kinda like him secretly using his UM#ARGHHH THEY MAKE ME INSANE#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#kalim al asim#disney twst#twst fanart#twst kalim#scarabia#jamil viper#twst jamil#twst scarabia#i love scarabia sm
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babpy.
#pizza tower#peppino#arts#mine#happy pride; heres a little otter for u#hes like very early 20s here#happy and unbothered before the Horrors happened#it is NOT his 30s bc he needs to exude raw dilf energy by that point#but for now he is anxious and sweet and awkward#not that i dont draw him like that already but its like 10x here#its PALPABLE#okay mwah i will hopefully come back w more than just sketches that mean nothing skjfsdjkfdhfhsk#i have LITERALLY been on this commission for WEEKS i need someone to take me out back and put me out of my misery i swear#im going to finish the lines TODAY like i cant be this person i cant keep coming back to this fucking comm w no progress ill simply Die#its like singlehandedly preventing me from doing anything else; its making a mental block waaaaaaaau#but i feel like i am breaking through it today. at least i HOPE i am sdkjfsdjkfjsdkf#um if u are still here ilu. send me some anons; i want to be chatty but the messages i have feel like i need to respond w essays#and i literally. cannot.#at least until i get my head screwed on properly again
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Me: oh I'll do a card pull for funsies, see if there's anything I can get for the new year
The cards: YOU NEED TO TRANSITION. NOW.
Upright 8 Of Cups - Action, change, journey
Reversed High Priestess - Hidden Motive, Ignorance, Confusion
Upright Death - Transformation, Transition, Necessary Change
#ace on stage#IM NOT. PARTICULARLY RELIGIOUS ABOUT IT i literally only do tarot pulls for fun. i enjoy staying in the belief of like#'it doesn't have any particular weight one way or another' yknow. but its really funny that i got this combo#Literally nothing more transgender than 'people will be ignorant but you need to change.#You need to keep going or else you'll be dissatisfied'#i shuffled the deck before putting it away too (i always do that no matter the cards) and dropped one face up#and it was upright the world (accomplishment‚ success‚ mastery) so um. if that isnt a sign i dunno what is#the cards want me to fuckin transition i guess!!!!!#i dunno. its nice to be hopeful
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venting like an idiot
the main reason i dont wanna go back to uni is that i feel like i've completely embarrassed myself last year. idk, i feel horrified at the thought of returning and looking these people in the eye. i didn't do anything, i was lazy and barely finished my projects and the only way to redeem myself somehow would be to come back with some new energy and work hard. i didn't even really get a job this summer because i really wanted to rest, cause i thought i would drop out. and i just feel worse, i feel even more tired
#ughhhh#im not going to drop out just yet#itd be a shame i think#theres many opportunities at my uni that i just dont take cause i cant commit to them or im too tired or im too scared#idk if doing any of this is worth it if i don't truly commit tho#i dont think ive learned anything these past 2 years tbh i feel like ive been wasting time and money#and i know my mental state is just my fault cause i cant get myself to do anything and i feel shame and spiral but goddd#idk i just feel like shit#the academic year starts so soon and i just dread everything thats to come#idk i dont even feel like im going to come out of this school with a portfolio. im literally nothing and ive done nothing#i have no idea how i could write a dissertation because ive literally learned nothing i have no desire to learn i just want to fucking chil#i cant get myself to care much for anything except silly shit thats just a distraction from uni work ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh#sucks sucks everything sucks#sorry for this stupid fucking essay im just having lots of thoughts and no one to tell them so.. um#vent#i know this is all my fault but also like. what am i supposed to do about it every solution sounds like literal hell to me -_-#i guess ive been feeling less suicidal recently which i guess is good but i feel like its bad cause like ykiyk ig#idk its all a huge contradiction
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oh to be the person Umemiya Hajime meets and falls for as he’s traveling after graduation
#mari says#meeting this guy who’s also traveling alone but he’d got too many green flags for you to stay away altogether#and he just naturally gets along with most people so he helps you when you’re having trouble with reservations for your hotel#gives you his number in case you get lost#ive been thinking about it#would he be the type to somehow end up with a dog as he’s traveling? I think so#comes back to makochi with a partner and a dog like nothing#can u imagine you meet a guy and go visit his hometown and literally EVERYONE knows him?#he’s just so casual abt it too like thats normal#its been on my mind OH I WANT TO WRITE RIGHT NOW BUT IHAVE LIKE 5 UMEMIYA WIPS THAT I SHOULDNT EVEN BE WRITING#EM YOU’RE READING THIS RIGHT?!?#THE SONG EYES ON YOU I MADE YOU LISTEN TO THE OTHER DAY#I CAN WORK WITH THAT#SORRY IM EXCITED#gotta be cool ok#maybe its rox’s fault for writing such a good ume thing#made me fall in love all over again grrr
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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does anyone else have the issue with their ocs where you have A Vibe. there is a very specific Vibe and maybe even some Emotions tied to some ocs that make you crazy feral etc but theres not Actually anything there. i could not tell you the plot of these ocs or what actually happens to them but in their unfinished state they still represent So Much and i feel so strongly about them but theres nothing actually there!!! but theres so much there!!!!!!! its just fucking hiding from me !!!!!!!!!!! Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#LIKE. IDK.#i have these two guys who are integral to this very vague story idea i have#that i desperately want to develop more when i have the time#but ive been thinking about them specifically lately and oughh my god#i literally cannot articulate it#younger brother who idolized his successful and cool older brother#older brother that loves and is protective of his brother but always kept him at arms length for (in his opinion) his own safety#believing himself to be a hazard in some way#botanist younger brother vs comp sci older brother#nature vs technology#severed connections and the perceived greater good and getting involved with higher powers and wanting nothing more than your family to be#safe from it#but like i dont actually know what the plot is for real LOLL#um i rambled#shout out Amber and Coda fr#rambling
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no yeah i really love how every core 4 member got a real happy ending....except for ej
nini is happily pursuing music in la with her moms' full support
ricky is dating gina, a girl he calls "home". he's finally becoming more at peace with love and how to show it. he's learned how to not run from his problems. his parents are getting back together (???) and his drama teacher wrote such a good letter of recommendation that he was accepted into a community college
gina becomes a literal movie star and was able to change the filming location of her second movie, without any consequences, to salt lake so she can physically be with ricky, the boy she finally got to date after crushing on him since the day they met. she has a permanent home to call her own now. her mom finally showed up to an opening night and she was finally able to portray gabriella
and then ej...is alone (in a wildcat sense) at college, financially cut off from his family, working multiple jobs to afford it. he spends most of his season 4 screentime guiding and helping others (ricky, gina, miss jenn, madlyn) instead of an actual storyline and a lot of his lines were about how he's made mistakes and has to live with them
#um...ignore how nini has a singular sentence#but anyway#ej says that he's happy but compared to every other important character nothing happy happens to him#obviously you can be at peace with/like a less than perfect situation#but that doesn't make the situation good or that you don't deserve more than that#he's literally cousins with ashlyn#he has a connection to a main character and yet we hear nothing about how he's doing until admissions#hell his first mention in the season is terri talking bad about him to gina#and before someone says 'well he graduated already and this is about the students of east high so-'#lily was at east high for all of five minutes and she got plotlines INCLUDING dating one of the main characters#dewey freakin wood got an appearance in s4 when we're no longer at the camp...#jenn mike lynne and ben all have extensive storylines and they're adults#(and mike and lynne don't even work at east high like jennzzara! they're just ricky's parents !)#channing (someone who really didn't need to be such a big character) had a whole storyline in s3#even jarred had a storyline in s4 !!! AND HE WAS A STALKER !!!#can you tell i'm pissed#probably missed some things i'm going off of memory and rage#and it just seems like a poor writing choice to do nothing with ej until ep 5 when he was still dealing with his dad when s3 ended#<- something that could've been made into a storyline !! instead of just throwing it at us that ej was cut off#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series#ej caswell#nini salazar roberts#ricky bowen#gina porter#okay i regularly call them the core 4 so i think i've tricked myself into thinking other ppl do too...#tags are not as neat as i want them to be the thoughts just kinda spilled out but hopefully this all makes sense
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#can I just. scream for a second#so as is news to no one#we need to start over the entire us medical system from scratch#also I would like to be flayed alive and start over from scratch in the skin department as well#anyway for context: I've had some kind of rash/acne/infection/irritation all over my legs for over a year now#have tried various products and changed habits and products to try and get rid of it to no avail#everyone said you should really just go to a dermatologist#(I was not that inclined to do so bc the previous and only time I'd seen a dermatologist it was not a good experience. very condescending#also I don't like making appointments and stuff. girl I don't have time)#but I decided to be an adult and go (my insurance info seemed to imply I could go with zero copay even)#spoilers: that was not the case#anyway so I show up and surprise surprise: it sucked#she was dismissive and condescending imo. was literally like 'well it could be A B or C but I can't tell'#'all of those are basically impossible to get rid of anyway but the things to try are X Y or Z'#I asked to try Z since X and Y are things that I already tried and did nothing (which I had told her!!!)#but she just kept being like 'you just need to stop picking at it. that's the real problem and that's what's exacerbating your scarring'#(wow thanks never thought of that!) (she also insinuated that my scarring was ugly)#girl I'm not 5 years old I understand.#unfortunately for me that is a compulsion so strong it would probably take years of directed therapy to get me to stop doing that#what I'm here to see you about is to figure out what the problem is and how to stop it from happening in the first place#and STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A COSMETIC ISSUE#it's causing me pain and discomfort that's the main problem! I would like that to stop!! and me not touching it would not solve that proble#also I wanted to ask her about something else but they were too quick about it. felt very Handled if you know what I mean#but anyway#she gave me a prescription for topical antibiotic which was the thing I had not tried#apparently my insurance doesn't cover it and it's also made of gold and plutonium or something#so she gave me a coupon for it#but get this#when I went to pick it up at the pharmacy they didn't take the coupon#the guy said. 'um this only works for the generic brand. and we don't have the generic brand'
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After pondering on it for several days, I have officially decided I did not like the direction of KFP4 and have banished it from my brain. It is no longer canon. KFP4? What's that? Don't know what you're talking about.
#spoilers ahead#it wasn't all bad#I really truly loved the scenes with Li and Mr Ping they were wonderfully hilarious#and the music was great#BUT#I just did not like the direction they took Po's story at all.#and I'm kinda furious they subtly undermined Shifu's character#by making him “fine”/“not fine” with Oogway picking Po as his successor instead of him.#it was only a thing for 2 seconds for the sake of humor but it completely undermines his inner peace character development#first off why can there only be one successor#and second off why can't Po take primarily the fighting side and Shifu take the spiritual side#It FITS HIM#don't know if most people would notice that shifu's character was undermined but because he's one of my favorites I sure did and it HURT#also um the furious five WHY didn't we have them be the main characters with Po instead of the fox chick no one cares about#literally their interactions with Po that's WHY WE'RE HERE DREAMWORKS#also it's become really obvious to me that the fox girl was literally written just so they could cast a specific voice actress in a big rol#nothing against that actress I love her in other stuff but that was a bad move Dreamworks#and another thing#the movie's message about change not always being bad is perfectly fine and good in theory#but such character change is only satisfying from a storytelling perspective if the audience actually WANTS the character to change!!!#I don't WANT Po to stop being the dragon warrior! I don't WANT him to pick a successor! That wasn't satisfying!! like whyyyyyyyyy#Plus he's like way too young?? to be worrying about this??? Oogway didn't worry about it until he was literally 900 years old#Shifu is what in his 60s? 80s? and he hasn't picked one#why would they make shifu worry about po doing that any time soon literally at all#so there dreamworks#I banish this movie#I banish it for one thousand years#kfp4#kung fu panda 4#po kung fu panda
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Ermm hii everyone sooo I’m in rehab again O_o detox was hardcorE !! But I’m better now ;* anyway ima be way more active here. Love u ALL ૮ › ༝ ‹ ྀིა
#um like hopefully evrythn works out….#send ur prayers im gna frfr try to do this rIGHT! this timr :3#was literally hospitalized for two whole days because my withdrawals were SO BADDD like non stop vomiting with nothing in my stomach (ew)#but we r ok now that was the worst of it
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g*lmar rly has to be the best skajrim character on the real like even if you don't like him he just is . literally The best one i think......... on dat note i also imagine that he and ulfr*c despite being fairydust BFFs for lyfe genuinely have the worst communication skills ever seen
#text#but i already talked about how g*lmar is weird about ulfr*c anyways#literally jubilant and feeling special cus he's the only person ulfr*c actually trusts and speaks to outside of formal conversations#he's a very manly man too (like N*loth) for wanting to just control everything... well actually having ulfr*c under 'control' is enough 4 -#- him. unlike n*loth who wants to be above everything that moves. literally not about him tho#i hope that other st*rmcloaks develop a habit of going to hide downstairs in the palace whenever they can tell the vibe between -#- g*lmar and ulfr*c is off because they're gonna be yelling at each other and throwing shit around for 40 minutes in a few seconds#i don't believe they'd fight insanely often but being at an active war probably gets them heated more. Often than usual; and their -#- conflicts are never resolved. i feel like they just don't talk to each other for a good 2 days and act like nothing happened#they're way too manly and prideful to actually let the other one 'win' so they just don't say anything ever post-arguing#Tbhs g*lmar actually really likes that ulfr*c is so unstable and harrowed because it makes himself feel very good and reliable -#- but he has his limits 😂LMFAOO i bet sometimes he gets really tired of him being so traumatized. very rarely but he does think about it#i'll have to desribe that a bit better later tho... don't know how to word it atm#but maybe he wants to punch him or something BYE. no...... 💔savage as hell#he likes it in a very general sense of ulfr*c's personality especially between them but doesn't like it when it causes them to clash#this might just be mostly ulfr*c's doing cus i doubt he's actually talkative about his past issues and Troubles (torture mayhem) and -#- can't communicate anything about it or set boundaries when needed. he just gets mad or very avoidant. No fixing that tho#well it's just shameful to him so he'd rather do nothing than even admit anything to anyone Everrrrr#why does his life suck so bad LMFAOOOOOOOOO#their nasty musty mutualism .. leeching off your traumatized Bff so that he can make you feel good by saying he needs you in particular#while U pay him back with some support.......SOME#Oh well#that zero communication between some sk*rim characters looks yammy as fuck to me. A;lways. ALWAYS#nelvas is power dynamic induced...... g*lmar&&ulfr*c trauma-caused... elituli Um���� t*llius doesn't even know any hobbies she has#bye this is why they're serving so hard
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