#but trying to make my own šŸ˜­ i understand
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koi-p0nd Ā· 2 days ago
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Good morning,afternoon, and nights!
I was wondering if can you do an imagine of reader protecting Anya from jimmy before and after the crash? Which reader always giving a bitchy attitude to j#### and reader giving self defense tools to Anya just in case. (The self defense weapons are a taser,a pocket knā€™fe, and a pink decorated pepper spray)
-anonymous
Omg hi hello????? I woke up around an hour and a half ago????
(Am I that good of a writer???? Lmao kidding)
Anya getting self defense lessons and weapons from reader with an attitude? To keep the Bad Stinker Man away? Yes.
Okay, since I'm still trying to get back into writing again, this might be a bit wonky and not really up to what others can make but I'm trying my best here :')
I think imma make like a list or smth, I dunno, but I hope it works :D
I also decided to change the pocket knife to a swiss army knife, thought that she could use the different things on it for more than self defense or to give some more severe injuries to Stinker.
Mouthwashing Anya x Reader. (Platonic)
"Don't be afraid to use force, girl." (Not proof read)
Before the crash:
Way long before the crash, just a few weeks or months after taking off with the ship Anya had told you about getting weird vibes from Jimmy.
It was kind of obvious as to why she would go to you and just quietly voice her suspicions to you, you literally had a tazer and can off pepper spray clipped to your uniform belt out in the open.
She was glad for that, honestly.
After she told you about this, you kept an extra eye on Jimmy whenever he were nearby you and/or Anya. Watching like a hawk.
There was constant bitchy attitude from you towards Jimmy when he and you interreacted. It always pissed him off.
It wasn't pretty arguments and fights over something small and irrelevant.... Swansea, Daisuke and Curly had to often break you two apart....
Not even a week later, you offered to teach Anya some self defense.
Shock and surprise was the only thing that Anya could express for a few moments. Understandable.
Who in the world would offer a colleague, who you barely know anything about, self defense?
Well... You did.
Not out of pity, of course not. You just wanted to teach her so she could beat Jimmy up if she needed to and no one was around.
Anyways
Anya had gladly taken the offer from you. Grateful that you just decided to spend your free time in training her and teaching her things.
Although she felt a little guilty for it.
Hush girly, don't feel bad. You deserve to knock Jimmy's teeth out<3
She was ectsatic and giddy internally when she got her own self defense tools from you; a tazer, a somewhat old swiss army knife and the pepper spray decorated in pink.
You just smiled at how giddy she looked.
After the crash:
After the crash. Hmm....
Things went to hell, basically.
Curly was a burnt, crispy nugget (sorry CurlyšŸ˜­)
Let's just say that Anya has used her tazer quite a lot of times on Jimmy out of spite or when he was getting up in her space.
The pepper not so much, she wants to save as much of it to really bad situations. Since the water supply is not that big on the ship.
The army knife is more used to be a every day life tool, using the various things on it for various things. Has occasionally had the knife of it pointed at Jimmy, as well as the tazer/pepper spray in her other hand.
She is so very gratefull for having you as her self defense teacher. She can sucker punch Jimmy if she feels really fed up with Jimmy.
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I hope this is what you asked for :') and sorry if it's badšŸ˜­ I'm trying to get my writing skills back...
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persphonesorchid Ā· 3 days ago
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Echoes Of Nebula - MYG
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Summary: Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, a part of each other, one and the same. Stars donā€™t live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever.Ā Ā 
Genre: Exes to lovers, angst, fluff
Word Count: 5.5k
Warning(s): I don't think there's any, but let me know if I've missed! Any mistakes are my own, I proofread this one (1) time šŸ˜­
Masterlist
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Notes: Eep, hello! Here's this lil thing I've been working on! Also, Yoongi and Mc didn't end on bad terms, their separation was somewhat mutual and they're all good :)). Feedback is always appreciated and encouraged! Enjoy!
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ā€œMake sure to eat, okay?ā€Ā 
Snow swirls along the train tracks, following a gust as a train pulls into the station.Ā  Thereā€™s the bustle of people getting on and some getting off, bundled up warmly against the winter air. Some are going to see their families, some are taking a break from theirs. Some of them are stepping onto the train to never step foot in this town again. Some of them are just starting the first day of their adult lives.Ā 
Min Yoongi? Heā€™s moving to Seoul.Ā Ā 
Your hands tuck the ends of his scarf securely into his sweater, staring at him like youā€™re trying to memorize his face. Your tears make tracks against your cheeks and dry quickly in the cold.Ā Ā 
Min Yoongi is breaking up with his girlfriend.Ā Ā 
ā€œEat on time. And I donā€™t mean ramyeon because youā€™re too lazy to cook.ā€ You sniffle, and Yoongi wipes under your eyes with his thumbs. His glove has a hole in it. Not that it matters much right now, heā€™s trying to get you to stop crying. ā€œSleep on time, not when the sunā€™s coming up.ā€Ā Ā 
Min Yoongi is trying not to cry.Ā Ā 
ā€œOkay.ā€ He holds you still because heā€™s trying to memorize your face. Heā€™s got pictures, even the silly ones that he took and promised to delete, but they wonā€™t compare. ā€œIā€™m sorry.ā€Ā 
He mustā€™ve apologised for the millionth time. He doesnā€™t know what else to say.Ā Ā 
You nod, smile ā€” sadly, tears on your waterline ā€” and, ā€œI understand.ā€ for the millionth time.Ā Ā 
Heā€™s moving to Seoul, a long way away from Daegu.Ā Ā 
A mixtape he made for shits and giggles took off and pulled him with it, and he has no choice but to follow. Your life is in this little town like a ship in a bottle and like a captain youā€™ll go down with it. You canā€™t follow.Ā Ā 
You both talked about it for days, compromising, bargaining, but in the end, your lives are going separate ways.Ā Ā 
Stars either explode or implode when they die, and Yoongi feel like the star youā€™re both made of has finally reached its end. Itā€™s imploding, folding in on itself and pulling everything with it.Ā Ā 
He has five minutes left to take you in, how the tears shine in your eyes despite his efforts, the string of the necklace he won you at a fair peeking from behind your scarf. The way you smile and your eyes squint, the way he could feel the chill of your hands through his gloves.Ā Ā 
He wants to stay right here in this moment and never leave if it meant he could take you in for five minutes till eternity.Ā Ā 
ā€œRemember to...ā€ His throat feels raw, but itā€™s because of the cold and definitely not because heā€™s crying. The lump in his throat makes it hard to swallow. He looks somewhere above your head to give himself a second, things like these are always hard for him. ā€œRemember to dress for the weather.ā€Ā Ā 
He squeezes your hands, takes a breath that he almost chokes on, and looks back at you. ā€œDonā€™t skip meals. Get warm when you feel cold. Always carry an umbrella in July.ā€Ā Ā 
Sometime later, Yoongi will wonder if the things he reminded you to do made much sense, if they mattered at all. Wonders if youā€™d actually remember. The umbrella one is really important; you always forget.Ā Ā 
He sat where he could see you when his five minutes were up and eternity never came. Waving from behind a glass and missing the warmth of you and the sound of your voice. He watches you wipe your tears and smile big and you walk alongside the train when it pulls off and then you run, and then, Yoongi could no longer see you.Ā Ā 
Min Yoongi broke up with his girlfriend and left her in the middle of winter chasing a train.Ā Ā 
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July is always rainy.Ā 
And every time it rains, Min Yoongi remembers the love he left in winter. He wonders if you remember to carry an umbrella. Itā€™s been five years; he wonders if you remember him at all.Ā 
He watches the rain splash into puddles and listens to the patter against his umbrella. Seoul bustles on, indifferent to the weather, its crowds meandering through the mid-summer downpour. Despite the seasonā€™s warmth, a stray breeze slips past his collar and reminds him of colder days. Heā€™s grateful his gloves no longer have holes.Ā 
He walks along the sidewalk, carried by the crowdā€™s flow without much thought.Ā Ā 
Thereā€™s not much that he wishes for anymore, not much he can wish for when heā€™s got everything. He lives in a high rise, works at the top music production company. Sometimes itā€™s a bit hard being the most sought-after producer in Seoul. Life has been good; he canā€™t complain. That mixtape opened doors he thought heā€™d be knocking on forever, and heā€™s worked hard to keep them open.Ā 
Min Yoongi doesnā€™t need much of anything else.Ā 
But on days like this, when the wind is just a little chilly and the skyā€™s opened up and crying, he misses you.Ā 
Sometimes he looks back on that day and feel guilt. He knows it was just as hard for you as it was for him, the pain in your eyes that you smiled through.Ā 
For a while, heā€™d call you every night and update you, made sure that you were doing well. For a while, heā€™d keep up with you and made sure that youā€™re doing well. For a while, heā€™d call you every now and then, see if youā€™re doing well.Ā Ā 
For a while, it had been a while and life, and then five years slinked on by.Ā Ā 
Yoongi sighs, and thereā€™s guilt in it. He got busy, as one gets being a producer in Seoul with a shit ton of expectations. Heā€™s changed phones over the years, lost your contact, and he got busy.Ā 
Of course, heā€™s dated ā€” mostly blind dates his friends set him up on ā€” and heā€™s tried his best to push forward. Thereā€™s no point living in the past, heā€™s sure youā€™ve moved on and on by now. Sometimes heā€™s fine, and sometimes heā€™s back on that train station platform, wishing heā€™d begged you to come with him.Ā 
It wouldā€™ve been the selfish thing. It wouldnā€™t have been fair to you had he done that. When he got to Seoul, heā€™d buried himself so deep into his work he barely found himself. He wouldā€™ve dragged you out here, made you give up everything just to sit on the side-lines.Ā Ā 
He misses you sometimes, anyways. Heā€™s forgotten the sound of your laugh, but he still remembers the way your nose scrunches when you do. Heā€™s forgotten the scent of your favourite perfume, but he remembers the way you lit up when he saved up and bought you a bottle forever ago.Ā 
Min Yoongi wonders if you remember him at all.Ā 
As Yoongi turns the corner, his umbrella catches a gust of wind and flips inside out. He fights with it for a moment before giving up, letting the rain soak his hair and the front of his jacket and jeans. He canā€™t help but laugh at the irony, standing there drenched, remembering the countless times he reminded you to carry an umbrella.Ā 
In the distance, he spots a small cafĆ© and decides to seek shelter. The bell above the door jingles as he enters, and the warm, cozy atmosphere wraps around him like a comforting hug. He shakes off his umbrella ā€“ finally pulling it back down ā€“ and steps up to the counter, ordering a hot coffee to chase away the chill.Ā 
As he waits, his eyes wander around the cafĆ©, taking in the rustic dĆ©cor and the soft hum of conversation. A bulletin board on the wall catches his attention, filled with flyers and photos. His gaze lands on a familiar face, and his heart skips a beat.Ā 
Itā€™s you. Your photo, smiling brightly, pinned among various advertisements and announcements. Youā€™re standing next to a large canvas, looking proud. He steps closer, reading the caption beneath your picture: ā€œLocal Artist Exhibition - Featuring Works by ________.ā€Ā 
Yoongiā€™s mind races as he takes in the information. Youā€™re here in Seoul, and youā€™ve been showcasing your art. A mix of emotions floods through himā€”relief, excitement, and a twinge of nervousness. He jots down the address of the gallery from the flyer without much thought and leaves without his coffee.Ā 
As Yoongi steps out into the rain, a million thoughts swirl through his mind, each one more turbulent than the last. He wonders why you never sought him out. Seoul is vast, but youā€™d known he was here, making waves in the music scene. Did you ever think about him? Did you ever miss him?Ā 
The realization hits him hard: he never knew you were doing art before he left. In all your conversations, all your late-night talks and shared dreams, you never mentioned a passion for painting. He feels a pang of guilt. Had he been so wrapped up in his own ambitions that he failed to notice yours? The thought stings, and he can't shake the feeling that he should have been there for your journey, supporting you the way you always supported him.Ā 
The gallery isnā€™t far, and soon heā€™s standing in front of it, his heart pounding in his chest. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, the sound of soft music and hushed voices greeting him. Thereā€™s quite a bit of people mingling about in quiet discussion, taking photos of the art mounted on the walls under ambient lighting.Ā 
Inside the gallery, he feels out of place. The walls, adorned with your art, are a testament to a part of your life he knows nothing about. Each piece is beautiful, but they also serve as a painful reminder of how much heā€™s missed. He wonders how many late nights you spent creating these, how many times you might have needed someone to share your successes and frustrations with.Ā 
Yoongi wanders through the gallery, the sound of soft music and hushed voices creating a backdrop to his thoughts. The rain outside has left him feeling introspective, and as he takes in the various pieces of art, he feels a strange mix of pride and sadness seeing how far youā€™ve come.Ā 
Each painting tells a story, each one a glimpse into your life over the past five years, a life he wasnā€™t a part of.Ā 
His gaze is drawn to a large canvas on the far wall. The colours are bold and dramatic, the brushstrokes chaotic and full of emotion. As he steps closer, he realizes with a jolt that the scene depicted is achingly familiar: a train station, snow swirling in the air, and two figures standing close together, wrapped in scarves and winter coats.Ā 
His breath catches in his throat as he takes in the details. The style is unmistakably expressionist, the exaggerated forms and vibrant colours capturing the raw emotion of that day. The figures are abstract, but he knows them instantly: one is you, and the other is him.Ā 
He remembers the way you tucked his scarf into his sweater, the tears that made tracks down your cheeks, and the way you both tried to memorize each other in those final moments. The painting captures all of it, the pain and the love, the sorrow and the hope.Ā 
Yoongi feels a lump in his throat as he stares at the piece. Itā€™s a testament to your skill as an artist. He wonders how long you carried the weight of that moment, how many times you revisited it in your mind to create this masterpiece. Heā€™s overwhelmed by a wave of emotions: regret, longing, and a deep, unspoken connection.Ā 
The title of the painting, written on a small plaque beside it, reads ā€œDeparture.ā€ Itā€™s fitting, he thinks, for the moment it captures, but also for the way it marks the beginning of your separate journeys.Ā 
As he stands there, lost in thought, he hears your voice nearby, and for a moment, he simply stands there. Your words meld together and he isnā€™t hearing much of what youā€™re saying, just the sound.Ā  His heart pounds against his ribs as your laugh ā€” it sparks a memory and adds sound to the ones that were muted ā€” bounces off the walls and around in his head.Ā Ā 
He turns and sees you, in a corner, your back to him talking to a taller man, discussing a point of space where youā€™re standing. The sight of you, so vibrant and alive, sends a mixture of relief and nervousness fluttering around in Yoongiā€™s tummy.Ā Ā Ā 
Gathering his courage, he takes a step forward, then another, until heā€™s standing just a few feet away. You turn and startle, staring at him like heā€™s a ghost. Thereā€™s a brief moment of surprise ā€” he gets it ā€” and then you blink.Ā 
ā€œYoongi,ā€ you breathe, and turning to the man next to you, you smile gently. ā€œTaehyung...Can you give us a moment?ā€Ā Ā 
The guy looks between you both for a second with a raised brow before heā€™s gone, walking off to some other part of the gallery. Yoongiā€™s mind is too occupied taking in the sight of you to wonder what that manā€™s presence may mean.Ā 
ā€œHi,ā€ he replies, his voice soft and filled with all the words heā€™s wanted to say for years. Despite this, he doesnā€™t actually know what to say, he didnā€™t actually think this far ahead. He glances back at the painting of the train station platform, then back at you. ā€œI saw your painting.ā€Ā 
You follow his gaze and nod, your smile tinged with a hint of sadness. ā€œIt was a significant moment for me. For both of us, I think.ā€Ā 
Itā€™s a lot awkward, with him just standing there, not sure what to do with himself. You look the same, though now your hair is styled professionally and not the frizzy, wind swept mess it was when he last saw you.Ā Ā 
Thereā€™s so much he wants to say but he feel like he doesnā€™t have enough words, or the right ones, so he takes it easy. ā€œI saw a flyer...in a cafĆ©. Um... Itā€™s amazing...your work.ā€Ā Ā 
ā€œThank you,ā€ you say, your eyes reflecting a mixture of pride, nostalgia and a certain sadness. ā€œI didnā€™t know youā€™d be here. Itā€™s... good to see you.ā€Ā 
The conversation goes slowly, awkwardly. There are long pauses and nervous laughter, each of you trying to bridge the gap of five years with small talk about your art and his music.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™ve done well,ā€ he says, gesturing to the paintings around you both. ā€œI didnā€™t even know you were into art.ā€Ā 
You smile, the same just barely there sad smile from earlier. ā€œIt was something I started after you left. It helped me cope.ā€Ā 
ā€œOh...ā€ His heart aches at the thought of you turning to art just to fill the void he left behind. ā€œIā€™m sorry I wasnā€™t there,ā€ he says, his voice barely above a whisper.Ā 
You shake your head and shrug. ā€œWe both had our paths to follow. Itā€™s just... life.ā€Ā 
He nods, but the guilt lingers. Life had taken you both in different directions, but he canā€™t help but wonder what might have been different if he had stayed, or if he had at least tried to stay in touch better.Ā 
Min Yoongi is an idiot and heā€™s always told himself so. Heā€™s an idiot and he sucks at this sort of thing.Ā 
As the gallery starts to empty out, Yoongi looks at you, the rain pattering gently against the windows. Thereā€™s a part of him that wants to apologize, to make up for all the lost time, but he knows itā€™s not that simple.Ā 
ā€œDo you have time for a coffee?ā€ he asks, hope and uncertainty mingling in his eyes.Ā 
Your smile is a little hesitant, but you nod, ā€œSure.ā€Ā 
You excuse yourself to grab your jacket and an umbrella ā€” you remembered, he smiles privately ā€”, and then you talk to the man from earlier for a minute before Yoongi follows you out of the gallery and onto the wet street.Ā Ā 
The walk is quiet, filled with the awkwardness of five yearsā€™ worth of missed everythingā€™s, and Yoongi holds tight to the handle of his umbrella. Thereā€™s a confidence to your step as you weave your way through the crowd, head straight forward and not looking down at your feet like he remembers.Ā 
Youā€™re not the girl he left on that platform five years ago just as heā€™s not the guy that left you there.Ā Ā 
You walk back to the cafe heā€™d come from, and he realises that youā€™re probably a regular here. The barista behind the counter greets you with a smile and asks if youā€™re having your usual. You order a coffee and Yoongi asks the girl behind the counter to reheat the one he bought earlier, and the baristaā€™s eyes dart between you both.Ā 
You lead him to a cozy corner table after the order was called, and as you settle in, the conversation starts up slowly again.Ā 
ā€œHow long have you been in Seoul?ā€ Yoongi asks first, his voice a little hesitant, not sure if heā€™s allowed to ask.Ā Ā 
ā€œAlmost three years now,ā€ you reply, looking down at your coffee cup, the tiniest furrow between your brows. ā€œIt took a while, but I got settled.ā€Ā 
Yoongi takes a moment to observe you, trying to reconcile the person in front of him with the memories heā€™s held onto for the past five years. You donā€™t look much different, your hairā€™s in an up-do, your cheeks are a little fuller, but thatā€™s as much as he notices.Ā Ā 
The silence that rings between you both is louder than the other customers in the cafe. Yoongi can only imagine what this scene looks like to others; two people who are barely looking at each other, like awkward strangers forced to share a space.Ā Ā 
His coffee is still hot, and it burns his tongue when he sips at it, but at least itā€™s given him a distraction. He steals glances at you, watching the way your eyes comb the cafe and avoid his gaze.Ā Ā 
Unfortunately, Yoongi is naught but a man, and thereā€™s a nagging sound at the back of his brain. It grows louder until he fidgets, the nerves of his free hand feel like theyā€™re dancing and he takes a breath. He looks down at his coffee cup, glances at you and then back to the cup. Then, he asks a question that made him want to crawl out of his skin.Ā Ā 
ā€œSo...that guy back at your gallery seemed nice...ā€Ā Ā 
He knows itā€™s been five years, and a lot can change in that time.Ā  As toxic as it may sound, the thought of you moving on with someone else stirs a mix of emotions in him.Ā 
He knows he has no right to be upset if youā€™ve found happiness with someone else. Itā€™s not his business anymore, not after all this time.Ā Ā Ā 
Still, the fear is there. He doesnā€™t want to admit how much it hurts to think of you with someone else. He canā€™t deny the pang of jealousy at the thought, but he tries his best to ignore it. He has no claim over you. You deserve to be happy, and if youā€™ve found that with someone, then heā€™s happy.Ā Ā 
He sighs inwardly, pushing the thoughts aside. He wants to focus on the present, on the fact that youā€™re sitting in front of him right now. Whatever happens, heā€™s happy to be here, he hopes he can be a part of your life again of you let him, even if itā€™s only as a friend. He doesnā€™t want to ruin this, whatever it turns out to be.Ā 
You stare at him for a moment and Yoongi canā€™t tell what youā€™re thinking, ā€œHe is...heā€™s got an eye for art.ā€Ā Ā 
Yoongi nods slowly, his fingers tracing the rim of his coffee cup. He hums softly, and now itā€™s his turn to pretend youā€™re not looking; he finds interest in the light fixtures above.Ā Ā Ā 
His next question sits on his tongue trying to pry past his teeth. He feels like a kid trying to find the right moment to ask his parents if he could go play outside. Thereā€™s a nervous churning in his tummy that isnā€™t at all pleasant. How does one ask their ex of five years if theyā€™re seeing someone?Ā Ā 
Yoongi imagines theyā€™d just ask, out of curiosity, and get it out of the way. He could play it well. Maybe lean back into his seat and appear more casual before he says the stupid words. Maybe he could stop staring at the lights like a damn moth, and act like a being with a fully developed frontal lobe.Ā Ā 
ā€œAre you two...close? Or...you know...ā€ He waves a hand and then lays it on the table. The sound of his ring knocking against it is kind of jarring, but it gives Yoongi an opportunity to look away again.Ā 
You make a quiet sound, and Yoongi finally meets your gaze. Thereā€™s amusement in your eyes, itā€™s obvious youā€™ve figured him out already ā€” he wasnā€™t exactly being subtle. Which is unfortunate, because now Yoongi could feel embarrassment tapping on his shoulder.Ā 
You say nothing of it, even though he knows you want to. He could feel it.Ā Ā 
ā€œAs close as business partners can be, I suppose.ā€ You say, and Yoongi can see the beginning of a smile as you lift your coffee to hide it.Ā Ā 
ā€œRight...Sorry.ā€ Yoongi says sheepishly, though, a weight lifts off his chest. As he looks at you, he notices something that makes his heart skip a beat.Ā Ā 
Youā€™re still wearing the necklace he got you all those years ago, the one he won for you at the fair. The twine that the little pendant hangs on looks worn, fraying a bit at some points, but youā€™re wearing it.Ā Ā 
You kept it.Ā 
He clears his throat, the words heā€™s been holding back spilling out. ā€œIā€™m sorry I lost touch. I got so busy, and then it felt like too much time had passed to reconnect. I lost your contact, andā€¦ I didnā€™t know how to find you again.ā€Ā 
You nod, your fingers brushing over the necklace like you sensed his gaze on it. ā€œItā€™s okay. Life happened, for both of us.ā€Ā 
ā€œBut why didnā€™t you seek me out when you got to Seoul?ā€ Yoongi asks, his voice soft, devoid of accusation; genuinely curious.Ā 
ā€œI thought it would be for the best,ā€ you say, equally as soft, staring into your coffee as though it would give you the words youā€™re looking for. ā€œSo much time had passed, and I didnā€™t want to disrupt your life. You were doing well.ā€Ā Ā 
You look so sad when you say it that it almost breaks Yoongiā€™s heart.Ā Ā 
ā€œYou know I wouldnā€™t have...ā€ He wouldnā€™t have turned you away.Ā Ā 
ā€œI know, I just...ā€ You sigh, your eyes dart somewhere to his left, and then back at him, ā€œ...I really missed you.ā€Ā Ā 
Yoongi wants to reach out and take your hand so he does. Your fingers are warm from the coffee, squeezing his own, and tears beads at your waterline.Ā Ā 
ā€œI missed you too.ā€ His gaze is soft and he knows it, but he doesnā€™t care because its you. Youā€™re still you and heā€™s still him, and he misses you and the girl he left on that platform.Ā Ā 
Youā€™re both still made of the same star. Itā€™s imploded but still glowing, and your necklace pendant catches the above head light.Ā Ā 
His finger brushes over your knuckles, he stares at them, the shape and colour and all the little things about them that makes them a part of you. All that with his heart in his throat because he wants to ask something.Ā Ā 
ā€œDo you thinkā€¦ā€ His voice is barely a whisper, as if heā€™s afraid the wrong volume might shatter whatever delicate thread holds this moment together. ā€œDo you think thereā€™s a chanceā€¦ that we could try again?ā€Ā 
You stare at him, your eyes wide, and he feels the subtle pressure of your fingers in his. He knows itā€™s a lot to ask,Ā  but the longing, the sense that maybe something beautiful can still be salvaged from the pieces, presses him to keep going.Ā 
Hope catches on the glint of your necklace pendant, and he clings to it.Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t expect anything to happen right away. I justā€¦ I want to be in your life again, even if we start slow. No pressure, justā€¦ what feels right.ā€Ā 
Youā€™re quiet for a moment, and then a soft smile curves your lips, almost as if youā€™ve been waiting for him to say something like this.Ā Ā 
ā€œWe could try,ā€ you murmur, the words tentative but filled with the same cautious hope Yoongi feels.Ā 
And from there, the pace is unhurried. You both ease into each otherā€™s lives like rivers that find their way back to the same stream.Ā Ā 
Some days Yoongi feels like heā€™s been whacked on the head with a giant stick. Anyone could tell by looking at him, when heā€™s got that stupid look on his face. Like heā€™s seen a goddess and she spared him a glance. He feels like heā€™s dreaming, and the last five years without you seem to blur.Ā Ā 
He starts small, a text here and there; good morning and good night. Even if heā€™s busy heā€™d keep up with you, except when his work demands his focus. There are some days when youā€™d disappear, and Yoongi understands when you explain youā€™ve been in your studio for hours.Ā Ā 
Your gallery isnā€™t far from his work, and as much as he could heā€™d go see you. He finds himself drawn to small gesturesā€”bringing you lunch or a cup of coffee, or sometimes a sweet he thinks you might like. Each time he steps into the gallery with something for you, he feels a warmth settle in his chest.Ā 
Itā€™s an excuse, he knows, to see you smile, to watch you light up at the thoughtfulness of it. And each time you look at him with that gentle, appreciative gaze, he feels his hope grow a little stronger.Ā 
Youā€™d tell him all about your creative process, how youā€™d spin and weave whatā€™s in your head onto a canvas. Heā€™d listen attentively because heā€™s interested and he owes it to you. All those nights spent burning the midnight oil, steeping in his frustrations; you were there. Youā€™d listen to him rant and cry when things werenā€™t working out the way he wanted.Ā 
He owed you much more than that.Ā Ā 
He feels like he has to learn you all over again, which, in a sense, he does. Even if the bases of you are the same, thereā€™s new facets. Little shards that fit into the mirror that reflects you, some pieces are a little dusty and worn with time and others are new and shiny. Yoongi has to take his time cleaning the old ones to see them again, and get used to the new ones that twinkle his eyes.Ā Ā 
He invites you to his place for dinner, something simple and easy, and the conversation flows a lot better than it had a month before.Ā Ā 
Thereā€™s no awkward sentences that cut off somewhere in the middle. Yoongi knows what to do with his hands and he has a better time looking you in the eye now. He feels a lot like he did back then, like a school boy taking his crush to meet his parents. His hands are a little sweaty, but the food is good and your eyes sparkle like they did back then, too.Ā Ā 
You seem so sure, like youā€™re not worried one bit. Like you knew youā€™d meet him again and youā€™d be here in this moment; sipping on white wine ā€“ something new heā€™s learned ā€“ and chucking over stories set in the past.Ā Ā 
The day he let a pet name slip was the day Yoongi wished a chasm would open up and swallow him. He had his excuse ready; the clockā€™s pushing one in the morning; heā€™s tired. The truth? Itā€™s so easy to slip back into old ways, like nothing changed at all.Ā Ā 
Like a smouldering fire in a hearth. Itā€™s not quite out yet, and if you throw some sticks in there, theyā€™ll catch.Ā Ā 
After a while, on some sunny evening, Yoongi invited you to his studio.Ā 
ā€œThis is where I spend most of my time.ā€ And he means that, letting you into his studio. Thereā€™s a blanket tossed haphazardly on the black couch that lines the wall near the door.Ā Ā 
Thereā€™s day old take away coffee cups that never made it to the bin, cluttered in a designated spot. The bin he meant to empty is overflowing with scraps of paper and crushed takeout containers. Thatā€™s as far as the clutter goes. Though, Yoongiā€™s embarrassed now ā€“ he prides himself on keeping tidy. He wasnā€™t thinking when he asked you over, didnā€™t expect you to agree either.Ā Ā 
So now heā€™s clearing up his desk and tying a knot on the waste bag. You make yourself comfortable on his couch like youā€™ve been there before, throwing the blanket over your lap as your eyes dart about to take everything in.Ā Ā 
Youā€™re impressed, he could tell by the gleam in your eyes and your little down turned smile. Heā€™s come a long way from his old computer and MIDI.Ā Ā 
ā€œIts nice, cosy. Beats camping out in your bedroom.ā€ You smile and Yoongi chuckles, nodding.Ā Ā 
ā€œDamn right.ā€ He agrees, but he wouldnā€™t trade in those days for anything. Truthfully, heā€™s been here for three days, only going home to shower. Inspiration on an all time high and heā€™s just been riding the wave, youā€™ve been his muse for the past month. It isnā€™t the first time, at moments over the years gone youā€™d float into his mind like a mirage, and heā€™d get stuck on you.Ā Ā 
Heā€™s grateful for the break, though, thereā€™s nothing much to do and he doesnā€™t want to bore you with rambling about what heā€™s working on. So he orders something, and lets a movie play on his laptop.Ā Ā 
The clock ticks softly in the corner, its sound nearly drowned out by the hum of the desk lamp ā€” he should really get that replaced. Youā€™re still curled up on his couch despite the hour, the blanket pooled around your legs, your eyes scanning a painting on the wall he doesnā€™t remember hanging.Ā 
ā€œItā€™s peaceful here,ā€ you say, your voice quiet but steady, like youā€™re speaking directly to the heart of the roomā€”and to him.Ā 
Yoongi glances up from the cluttered desk heā€™d been half-heartedly straightening; resorting his things because he canā€™t sit still. He watches the way you seem to belong in his space, your presence settling into the corners he never realized were empty. The faintest smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.Ā 
ā€œYou think so?ā€ he asks, moving to lean against the edge of the desk. He crosses his arms, the soft light from the lamp catching on the fine lines of his face. ā€œI always thought it was too chaotic.ā€Ā 
You turn your head, your gaze locking onto his. ā€œChaos can be beautiful. It just takes the right eyes to see it.ā€Ā 
The words settle between you, their weight both gentle and profound. Yoongi feels something inside him shiftā€”a small piece of armour finally cracking and falling away.Ā 
He takes a step toward you, his hands slipping into his pockets, his expression tentative. ā€œThereā€™s something Iā€™ve been meaning to ask you.ā€Ā 
You sit up a little straighter, tilting your head. ā€œWhat is it?ā€Ā 
ā€œWould youā€¦ā€ He hesitates, his fingers brushing against the edge of a USB drive in his pocketā€”the same drive that holds the tracks heā€™s been working on for weeks. ā€œWould you let me write something for you? About you?ā€Ā 
Your surprise shows in the slight widening of your eyes, followed quickly by a soft, warm smile. ā€œYou already do that, donā€™t you?ā€Ā 
Yoongi chuckles under his breath, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment. ā€œMaybe,ā€ he admits, with a small smile that meant more than he could say. ā€œBut this time, I want you to know itā€™s for you. No hiding it in metaphors or beats no one else understands. Justā€¦you.ā€Ā 
You rise from the couch, the blanket slipping to the side as you close the small distance between you. Standing so close, Yoongi count all the things that make you you.Ā Ā 
ā€œOkay,ā€ you say softly, your fingers brushing against his. ā€œBut only if you let me paint something for you, too.ā€Ā 
Yoongi takes your hand because he wants to, and his fingers make home in the spaces between yours. It feels like dĆ©jĆ  vu and an epiphany all at once: five years ago you were this close and he was saying goodbye. His gloves had holes. Today...heā€™s saying hello again, and it feels like no time had gone by. And he kisses you now because he didnā€™t kiss you then, and you sigh into it like youā€™ve been waiting a lifetime.Ā Ā 
Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, apart of each other, one in the same. Stars donā€™t live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever.Ā Ā 
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Tagging: @hoseoksluna @xpeachesncream @amon-rei @allhobbitstoisengard @euphoricfilter @madbutgloriouspond
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yaseraphine Ā· 21 hours ago
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short-medium mercury observations bcuz I am feeling silly
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A little silly astro obs until I am finished with the capricorn rising one. This post is just leo mercury non sense please don't mind me
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I feel like a lot of water mercuries, especially scorpio mercuries, donā€™t talk much. They tend to observe, analyze and stay kind of out of the conversation. They only speak when itā€™s necessary. The opposite of a yapper basically
They also tend to have deep voices, both for men and women.
Capricorn mercuries can be a bit like this too. Really dry texters (as a leo mercury it gives me anxiety i feel like they hate me when they talk to me.. like if you hate me just tell meĀ ā˜¹ļøšŸ’”šŸ˜­)
I genuinely donā€™t understand capricorns, and capricorn energy. Except when itā€™s in the ascendant or Venus, their energy is unreadable to me. Whenever I interact with a Capricorn, I feel like they hate me and donā€™t want to be there because they are not really expressive when they speak and are really direct and realists in their talking style. As a Leo mercury, I feel so judged šŸ« šŸ˜ŸLike if you hate me just say thatšŸ’”šŸ˜­šŸ˜«
I am super expressive when I speak, kind of like a theater kid. Kind of like the voices in cartoons. Overtly excited when saying worldly stuff, like talking about the weather in the most dramatic way. When I speak, my tone goes up and down, it feels like youā€™re on a roller coaster when you interact with me. I have had people coming to me many times in the streets or the library telling me that I am too loud and that I should lower my voice to be respectful lolšŸ’€šŸ¤”šŸ’©Ā sorryšŸ˜€
Aries and Leo mercuries, sometimes sag mercuries : we canā€™t shut the f up to save our lives lol the number of times i have been kicked out of class with my friends at school for being too loud, and laughing too much i canā€™t even count help-šŸ’€šŸ¤ŖšŸ¤ 
Mercury in Sagittarius are so funny but at the same time so cringe my mom has it and she always makes corny dad jokes and sheā€™s always the only one laughing at the diner table lmaoo
Mercuries in Gemini are so fucking smart, not in a genius way, but they can pick up on stuff so easily. Like understanding a text, or seeing the main points of a text without reading it in its entirety. They are really good at making connections between things, and connections that make sense. They are generally as logical as virgo mercuries, but they lack the meticulous side. They are pretty much to me a virgo mercury with ADHD on crack lolĀ I'd say instead of being smart, they are more so perceptive, insightful or astute.
Some Mercury in Pisces sometimes speak so cryptically that it gets hard to understand, once they open their mouths, where they are going with what theyā€™re trying to say. Their talking style is kind of surreal and romantic. They tend to create new words, and change up the grammar and verb conjugations. Their sensitivity and capacity to perceive things that cannot be seen by the naked eye is what makes them invent those words, because the already existing vocabulary isnā€™t enough to express this hyper specific thing or feeling they have.
Mercury in Pisces and Mercury in Virgo were placements that I found in the biggest readers I know. Both love reading and writing, and they have a thing for romance novels or fantasy books from what I've seen. Really delulu people in their own respective ways šŸ«” but at the same time really talented šŸ˜šŸ˜
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the type of fiction virgo and pisces mercuries be writing on AO3 and Quotev instead of being productive members of society :
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i just know a pisces mercury was behind this soul crushing poem šŸ˜žšŸ˜”šŸ˜æšŸ«‚
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hanjisungslag Ā· 2 days ago
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hiiii!! so sorryyy idk if you take requests BUTT could you do headcannons of being in an argument with the aot characters?
šŸ—£ļø aot characters & arguments
characters involved: eren, armin, mikasa, connie, jean, sasha, reiner, annie, bertolt, erwin, levi & hange
notes: i do take requests indeed!! :3 i luv angst, i hope this is gdā™”
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āœ§ eren jaeger - ļæ¼
okay, when you guys argue itā€™s honestly more cute than anything because youā€™re both so protective of one another. neither of you wanted each other to join the scouts because it was so dangerous but, you both joined anyways obviously. oh my god, you guys non-stop bicker when thereā€™s a mission! and donā€™t even get me started if you get put into different teamsšŸ˜­ you start TWEAKINGG. after he finds out heā€™s the attack titan, oh it gets 10x worse. his absolute biggest fear is losing control and hurting you - heā€™s already so conflicted, confused & felt like an outcast. he definitely lashes out more and becomes snappier than usual but, it does come from a place of sincerity.
when this happens, you just leave it be. as soon as itā€™s not just bickering anymore, when a voice is raised or an insult is made, you just leave it. you understand heā€™s going through a lot and just needs a minute but, TRUST ME! when you walk off, you make sure it is known that your feelings are hurt.
ā€œi said no! you are not being on my team! im going with the levi squad, thats final.ā€
āœ§ armin arlert -
you both love each other very much but, goddamn youā€™re both so up your own arses! you are the ā€˜smart coupleā€™ you are both strategic and witty and have your own way you go about things. so, when it comes to deciding whose plan is better, you always think yours is better and admin thinks his is better. this has (and probably always will be) the main root of your arguments, tbh. nobody likes to get involved either because if someone picks a side then even more havoc will break lose. the only people whoā€™ve ever come between you two is: mikasa, levi & erwin.
itā€™s just like a debate, you know the ones on jubilee where itā€™s just people speaking over each other with different facts and sources? literally you two. you both would keep going until the end of time if you didnā€™t need to sleep, eat and drink water. itā€™s never that serious at the end of the day, you both love each other and i GUESS you can appreciate each others plans albeit you both think yours is better.
ā€œif you actually listen to me when i say, my layout is better! look at how easy it is to manoeuvre from the castle to the forest!ā€
āœ§ mikasa ackerman -
wash the damn scarf. that is all you ask of her. she has literally never washed it and you love but jesus christ, stink LINGERS. not only do you think itā€™s weird she doesnā€™t wash it but, itā€™s also from erenā€¦ now, you know mikasaā€™s lore, of course. however, itā€™s really hard to get over your girlfriend having this deep love for this smelly scarf that her ex-crush gave to her after he literally saved her from being kidnapped. at first, you try to ignore it but it gets to a point where you sit down and talk to her but, she is not having it. she clearly cares very, very deeply for this scarf and will defend it. itā€™s really awkward conversation that slowly turns into raised voices and some opinionated things being raised.
ā€œwhy are you getting jealous over a scarf? thatā€™s so stupid! i just have fond memories with it!ā€
āœ§ connie springer -
again, not so much major arguments but just bickers. it usually starts as a joke but slowly but surely divulges into an argument about something stupid. one time, someone ate the last of jeanā€™s meal that his mum made for him and he saved until today, obviously he was super upset and jokingly you blamed connie. at first, all was well, laughs were being heard and he even poked fun at you but, somewhere along the way it became more serious for you two, you genuinely suspected connie of eating jeanā€™s meal and connie was getting visibly more upset.
ā€œthat was so not me! why are you telling them that?! i didnā€™t eat it, y/n!ā€
jean regretted asking who ate his food.
āœ§ jean kirstein -
jean is unfortunately a jealous guy. not for any malicious reasons, heā€™s just a bit insecure gang! heā€™s more scared that youā€™ll leave him for someone ā€˜betterā€™ more than anything but, these feelings of insecurity manifest as jealously. heā€™d get jealous over you spending time with people like eren, mikasa or armin. in so many aspects, theyā€™re better than him (in his eyes) and this will just make him reallyyy pissy. being in an argument with jean is painstakingly ambiguous like he never straight up says it, itā€™s always sly remarks or dry responses from him for a while. eventually, you know something is up and question him but he will avoid answering like the plague and itā€™s just so, so frustrating! eventually, when you break your calm demeanour, he will also break his ā€˜nonchalant-nessā€™ and just shout about how he feels.
he crossed his arms, ā€œi just donā€™t understand why you need to be around him so much, you have me?ā€
āœ§ sasha braus -
absolutely nothing. iā€™m sorry but, she is too sweet and loving. IM SORRY, iā€™m sorryā€¦ i tried so hard to think of something but this queen is too perfect. at most, she would snap at you in high stress situations but she would never turn it into an argument. for example, if you told her to slow down her eating because youā€™re going on a mission but, she hasnā€™t eaten much that day she may snap and tell you to ā€œlet her do what she wantsā€ but, sheā€™s sooo quick to recover and apologise. literally not even giving you a second to even think about arguing with her!!
ā€œah, iā€™m sorry. youā€™re right, i donā€™t wanna be sick while flying through the air, huh?ā€ she pouts.
āœ§ reiner braun -
youā€™re both from marley, you know damn well what youā€™re doing here but it seems reiner is straying off path. youā€™re there to try and remind him why youā€™re there and this leads to so many arguments. his split personality also plays a role in the arguments because itā€™s so.. scary and confusing for you because one moment heā€™s defending eldians than the next, heā€™s shouting at you about how he ā€˜knows the planā€™.
when talking about stuff like this, since itā€™s extra sensitive for reiner he definitely flips out. iā€™m talking shouting, angry grunting, clenching his fists into balls and holding them against his forehead so he doesnā€™t fully crash tf out. heā€™s just as confused and scared as you are about his split personality but, he doesnā€™t want to seem weak or to seem like heā€™s losing sight of what is ā€˜rightā€™ - it gets him really worked up. obviously, you stand your ground against him, he doesnā€™t scare you when youā€™re arguing. youā€™ve known him for so long.. you feel like he just needs to be guided.
ā€œwhen did i ever say i liked them? yes, theyā€™re okay people to be around for now butā€” no, i never said that! i know what they are, you donā€™t remind to tell me, y/n!ā€
āœ§ annie leonhart -
just the fact sheā€™s cold and distant, it makes it really hard to actually have a relationship with her. at first, she was closed off COMPLETELY but cracks began to show and eventually, you thought you were at a good point with each other but, you kind of realised you didnā€™t know that much about annie. you try to ask questions to get her to open up but, she is one tough egg to crack so eventually, you just ask! hoping to help her more than anything but, this leads to an argumentā€¦
after this first argument, it became pretty regular like once every few weeks this would happen. you get super frustrated because she acts like she doesnā€™t even care! so, youā€™re shouting and getting really passionate while she sits there, looking pissed off and bored, rolling her eyes and scoffing. she doesnā€™t see the need to open up to you, sheā€™s done what she thinks is ā€˜enoughā€™ in her books.
ā€œwhat do you want me to say? iā€™m not an open book, thatā€™s just how i am. weā€™re all gonna end up dead, anyways.ā€
āœ§ bertolt hoover -
sighā€¦ oh bert. every time you feel yourself developing further into your relationship with bert, his friends seem to pull him back. youā€™re still not quite sure why and they always seem to be giving side eyes or glances when he talks about his life - its starting to piss you off, rightfully so. you feel like heā€™s got two other side hoes watching yours and his every move! you being this up in subtle ways as to not seem like a crazy, jealous partner but eventually you burst and tell him how you really feel.
arguing with sweet bert isnā€™t fun because you can tell he tries so hard to please everyone in the situation, whether itā€™s you, him or now in this case, his friends too. he will raise his voice but, not in a bad way just in a general sense, things are getting heated, his voice will raise and he will fling his arms and hands. heā€™s a very expressive man when arguing because he is so passionate about it.
ā€œy/n, theyā€™re my friends! theyā€™re just trying to protect me, why are you jealous?ā€
āœ§ erwin smith -
thereā€™s so such things as arguments in your relationship, erwin likes to call them ā€˜mutual disagreementsā€™ as your both in the scouts, he knows your time is limited. itā€™s a morbid and pessimistic way to think but, you have to be realistic when you live such a deadly lifestyle. he doesnā€™t want to take your time together for granted - plus, heā€™s a MAN like, he is calm and collected and will always hear you out.
you both start off calm, having a mature conversation about whatever it is that is bothering you but, when you start getting rowdier thatā€™s when erwin quells the flames quickly. he takes a deep breath, hears you out and calmly walks you through it all. heā€™s so compassionate about it, i cant omg. heā€™ll gently place a hand over your own hand or on your shoulder if youā€™re standing, letting you know heā€™s present, heā€™ll sweetly talk you down, eventually calming you down and usually youā€™ll both say apologises or just general sweet statements and move on!
ā€œiā€™m sorry, y/n. no, iā€™m glad you talked to me about this.ā€
āœ§ levi ackerman -
oh lord, being in an argument with levi ackerman is nawwtt fun. iā€™m sorry but, iā€™d kms if i argued with levi šŸ˜­. this man has such an awful resting bitch face as it is but, imagine his face when heā€™s arguing with you? IF LOOKS COULD KILL. he cant hide his emotions, so when youā€™re arguing even if heā€™s trying to be somewhat nice, his face says it all. usually heā€™ll roll his eyes and scoff if itā€™s something minor, heā€™ll hear you out, maybe give a half arsed apology or some sort of nice gesture to make sure youā€™re not upset however, if itā€™s a big issue oh brotherā€¦
silent treatment, i fear. he is so bad at communicating his feels correctly and often feels confused because this mf ainā€™t been in love before?! it gets too a point where heā€™s so mad, he just cant even begin to think of anything to say to you. youā€™ll be there raising your voice, becoming so passionate and when you ask what he thinks, heā€™ll say ā€œi have nothing to say.ā€ then boom, silent treatment. however, heā€™s bad with his wordsā€¦ but good with his actions. he still wants you to know he cares, you two could be in the most rancid moods but, youā€™ll go to your room and find your clothes ironed and foldedšŸ„².
āœ§ hange zoĆ« -
oh my sweet hange, my probably neurological challenged sweet hangeā€¦ an argument with them would definitely stem from them spending more time with titans than you. when sawney and bean were around, you werenā€™t getting ANY time of day with them, trust. at first, you didnā€™t want to say anything because of course, you understand! the lifetime you guys are living in, things like hangeā€™s research is soo important but, you canā€™t help but feel neglected sometimes.
when you finally bring it up, an argument ensues. neither of you really shout or anything, itā€™s just that kind of weird sort of raised, high pitched voice people get when youā€™re really frustrated. you both stay relatively calm for the situation youā€™re in but, you can totally tell youā€™re both so frustrated because hange just doesnā€™t see the problem. when you guys argue like this, it usually just goes in circles and after a while you both decide to mutually give up and leave it for another day.
ā€œitā€™s all for science and the greater good of humanity though, i donā€™t understand?ā€
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soft-sunbird Ā· 2 days ago
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ā€¼ļøSave Hilda's Pregnancyā€¼ļø
šŸ’„šŸšØ Pregnancy in WaršŸšØšŸ’„
šŸ‡µšŸ‡øšŸ‰šŸ‡µšŸ‡øšŸ‰šŸ‡µšŸ‡øšŸ‰šŸ‡µšŸ‡øšŸ‰
šŸ”„šŸ’„Am pregnant šŸ”„šŸ’„
Please read our story carefully and imagine the situation we are living in. 400 days of war and genocide. šŸ˜„
There is nothing in the markets, and if anything is found, it is extremely expensive. šŸ˜­
The weather is very cold, and the leaky tents are worn out from the summer heat. šŸ”„
The children cry from the intense cold and the darkness of the night šŸ’„.
There is no electricity, the water is contaminated, no education, no healthcare, and no medicine. šŸ˜“
Pregnancy has exhausted me, and I wonder how my child will survive in these conditions if they arrive. There are not even vaccinations or clothes for children. šŸ˜„
Some of my relatives are covering their children with pieces of plastic to protect them from the cold due to the lack of any income sources. šŸ˜°
In addition, the sounds of bombing, gunfire, and drones mimic the sounds of wild animals and screaming to frighten people in their sleep. We don't know how long this suffering will last or if we will truly be able to endure it. šŸ˜” šŸ‡µšŸ‡øšŸ‰šŸ‡µšŸ‡øšŸ‰
We want to reach our goal, we're still in the beginning šŸ™šŸ™
Plz visit the pinned post on my page to donate or reblog ā™»ļø
https://gofund.me/b845968e
āœ…verified by @gaza-evacuation-funds
āœ…bilal-salah0
āœ…khanger
āœ…ana-bananya
āœ…dlxxv-vetted-donations
āœ…a-shade-of-blue
Hey, Tumblr. This is Hilda, who I care about so so so much. So much that I'm willing to be brave and vulnerable and share my own story under the cut. I ask that you make a donation to either of the below links if you can; Gofundme minimum ā‚¬5, Ko-Fi minimum $1 AUD. Link to her Gofundme | Link to our Ko-Fi (Ko-Fi proceeds are split between the 20 families I'm supporting, but you can ask that your donation goes to Hilda directly) TW: loss
I was around Hilda's age when I got pregnant, too. I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't ready. My life was just beginning, and I had no money, and I had just escaped from a household that wasn't being very kind to me. I was NOT ready to be a parent. I was extremely distressed. My partner and I talked about it. We decided that, although it broke our hearts... it wouldn't be fair to bring up a child in the circumstances we were living in. We promised that one day we would try again, when things were better, when we'd both grown up a bit. So I booked an appointment, shamefully borrowed $1,000 from a friend, had a surgery... and I wasn't pregnant any more. And that was 9 years ago. I am still sad about it, because I think about what my child would look like, what their favourite animal would be, what their favourite food would have been. I will never know.
In those 9 years, I've been living my life. I'm 30 now, and I have only just started to feel like I understand myself, and what's important in life, and how to participate in the world. I am strong, I am brave, I am good.
But it's not the end of my story. I still get to look forward to meeting my child. I feel capable of raising a kind, gentle, creative child that becomes a passionate, strong, thoughtful adult. The thing is, although they were still overwhelming for me, my circumstances then were so much better than Hilda's are now. I had food, I had a safe place to live, our hospitals are free and operational. I WISH Hilda had that privilege right now. How will she cope, if she's already struggling to find food, taking vitamins in place of meals because she has no other choice? If her tent is already flooding, her bedding soaking wet and freezing cold? Will she have a safe birth with medical care, or will she be alone and afraid and in pain? Maybe Hilda would make the same decision I made, if she had the choice. I think she's very brave. I know she's very lovely. I have no doubt that if her child makes it into this world, she'll do an excellent job with the limited resources that she's got. I would be overjoyed to know that her soul carries on in the spirit of the next generation. I would hope so dearly that her child might grow up in a safe environment, that the war will end soon, that this crisis is something that her child is taught ABOUT, rather than having to live through and experience firsthand. I hope so. I really hope so. What I do know is that we are Hilda's best hope to survive this monumental life change, as safely and comfortably as possible. Whatever happens, I want her to know that she is loved and supported. That she matters, and so does her unborn child, whether they make it into this world or not. That they are worth fighting for. Give a little, or give a lot.
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yinyuedijun Ā· 12 hours ago
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Hello my friend! Youā€™re one of the best writers Iā€™ve seen in so long, the way you describe things is second to none!! I was wondering if you had any tips on how to be more descriptive/have good imagery, and how to do better plot and dialogue? Your writing just wowed me in ways I canā€™t even explain, youā€™re such an amazing writer and have such great flow in your stories!!!!
HI ANON!!! thanks so much, that's so incredibly kind of you to say šŸ˜­ I unfortunately have no concrete technical tips to offer and I actually think my plot/dialogue/everything have been really messy lately ALFNDQLFJA so I'm not sure that I'm the best person to ask. BUT in terms of writing habits, I usually try to do these things as a general rule:
to improve prose/description, I try to read authors I want to write like (and if I read an author whose writing I hate, I deconstruct the technical shortcomings to make sure I don't do it myself)
For plot, try to make sure every scene (or even sentence, ideally) fulfills a specific purpose for the plot or character arc
I read my dialogue out loud. It makes me look like an insane person but it really works. If you read your dialogue aloud and you don't sound like a regular human, edit the dialogue until it sounds like something a real person might say (accounting for the fact that real people often aren't super eloquent, don't totally understand their own feelings, often obfuscate information, etc)
Try to give yourself space to not do any of the above and write whatever the hell you want with no pressure. For every banger from me you've read, I promise I wrote ten shitty non-bangers just for funsies LOL and that's how I developed my current writing style!
hope that helps!!! and THANK U AGAIN FOR BEING SO KIND!!!!
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skitskatdacat63 Ā· 2 months ago
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For funsies I like to go thru the Habsburg family tree, usually to try and determine who's related to who. I'm still constantly taken aback by how incestous it genuinely is šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ It'll be like, oh hey I feel like I recognize the wife's name!! ....it's the husband's niece, great.
Ik its probably common knowledge but it's still surprising to me how closely related the Bourbons and Habsburgs are despite basically considering each other rivals. Like for Louis XIV and Leopold I, you guys are literally first cousins(I think.)
(Yes this is what I do for fun on weekends, shut up.)
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ball-of-butter Ā· 10 months ago
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i remember being genuinely scared to ship mareven because im a toddler that uses tiktok so my first intro to mareven shippers were just crazy maven stans who romanticise his mental illness. i remember one so vile i had to comment hate on it because they were bringing my bae mare into this like mare get behind me rn. and then they doubled down saying her rejection to maven made him more mentally unstable LIKE it was her responsibility???
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dreambunnynotes Ā· 1 year ago
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things to keep in mind before reading my blog:
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1.) self-improvement is not a "one size fits all" experience. my strengths, barriers, methods, and goals are going to be very different from everyone else's, and the methods, routines, and lists i post might not always apply to your life and might not be relevant to your experience at all. i am in no way claiming that my way is the only way; self-improvement is a very personal journey and it is through self-discovery that we learn what works best for us, which i encourage everyone to seek on this beautiful journey! ā¤ļøŽ
2.) on this same note, this blog is a personal blog which means that i am posting my own unique-to-me self-improvement experience and not necessarily posting with anyone else in mind. please use discernment and only take what inspires you, leaving behind what doesn't. i ask that you do not attack me for posting what i am currently working on in my own journey, unless i am being harmful and need criticism. i am trying to not worry about what other people think of me and focus on my own self-improvement and i encourage you to do the same; keep your body and mind healthy and safe first and foremost, always!
3.) i am very aware of how detrimental the toxic positivity and productivity culture are, especially in north america where i am from, and i try to walk a fine line between discipline and play. my current journey is primarily focused on building up tolerance to discipline and hard work. if you are at a point in your journey where rest and recovery from over-working are integral to your growth, my posts might not be applicable to you and that is totally okay! i respect and support your journey, and please know that my need to focus on hard work at this moment is not in any way an attack on where you are at in yours.
4.) it is very important to me that the health and beauty related information i share is scientifically accurate and is not cultural appropriation. if i post something that is incorrect, insensitive, or harmful, please let me know and i will make sure to edit or take down the post and learn from my mistakes! accountability is important to me and i am always open to learning more.
5.) i do not follow people under the age of 18. it is nothing personal against you if you are a minor, it's just that it is important for me to follow people who are at a similar place in life as me and to make sure that the friends i make are within my appropriate age range. however, all people are welcome on my blog and it will ALWAYS be sfw! when i was a minor on tumblr, it was very important for me to follow adults that i looked up to and who were safe and treated me with respect so that i could grow and learn; you are welcome here, and i will always try to treat you and everyone i interact with with the utmost care and respect!
with love, bunny ā¤ļøŽ
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kavehater Ā· 4 months ago
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Chappel Roan saying sheā€™s sad sheā€™s demisexual and then thereā€™s me being aroace as a whole like donā€™t you think Iā€™m even more sad šŸ˜­
#not saying sheā€™s not allowed to feel sad at all#just makes me think about myself LOL#I hate being aroace itā€™s like everyoneā€™s part of a secret club I will never be a part of#and that people donā€™t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact#like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because itā€™s horrifying#and disgusting to me in a practical sense#like I donā€™t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal#and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence#ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but itā€™s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when youā€™re in a world which a) doesnā€™t#understand wth aroace is b) doesnā€™t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin#and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie#but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because theyā€™d have a partner who will be their number one#and as usual you wonā€™t even be second place you will be last like always#because Iā€™ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I canā€™t have that cause it#freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so Iā€™m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to#someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them ā€¦#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but itā€™ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart#because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak#and not in the š’»š“‡ā„Æš’¶š“€š“Ž type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak#and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters#into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO#dora daily#and that is why despite aroace being cool to me itā€™s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool#as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl ā€¦ weā€™re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is#living the life dating who they want and being with who they want#but allegedly it is but a crime I canā€™t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit#and that they take it upon their hands to define what Iā€™m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are#I swear Iā€™m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone šŸ˜­#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace#is saving them from torture ā˜ ļø anyways ! rant over :3
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thedrotter Ā· 7 months ago
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Re:Kinder Fun fact time!! Did you know? šŸ˜Š
Yuuichi's theme song (the one that often accompanies his entrances with "Vamos Cantar!"), ę–°ć—ć„å¤ć®ćƒŠćƒŠ, is not in any latin language such as Spanish or Portuguese, despite its lyrics sounding as such. It's actually in Hanamogera, which to put it simply is nonsense speech based on japanese syllables. So the song's lyrics are essentially gibberish meant to imitate the sound of latin music! šŸ˜Š
It is listed as such in the source site for the song, oo39.com, where the song can be found as "YS068" in the hanamogera category.
Additional fun fact! The song can also be found in Spotify as Vien Nana by Oo39.com themselves alongside a few other select songs from the site. So you can properly enjoy the song on the platform without having to import it from your local files.
Those are the fun Re:Kinder related fun facts for today... Use them to entertain your friends at parties ! ā˜ŗļø
#re:kinder#not art#now tiny storytime in the tags!!! šŸ˜Š...#what prompted me to look into this months ago was the fact i genuinely thought it was in spanish at first#AS A SPANISH NATIVE SPEAKER. I HEARD THIS SONG VAGUELY AND WAS LIKE... WOW... i wonder what it says!#because i thought i didnt understand it as i was mostly paying attention to the text or because of my computer's speaker#plugged headphones in and heard carefully... i didnt understand anything. but it sounded just like it i was so confused#for a second i wondered if it was portuguese but there was no way it was because even then i would have knownšŸ˜­#the magic of knowing either language of spanish (at least latin spanish) and portuguese is it makes the other very recognizable#this was not it looked for the opinions of other latin speaking language people THEY DID NOT UNDERSTAND A THING#and thats how i ended up looking into the source and finding this out šŸ˜Š#i was very pleasantly surprised to see it was gibberish because IM NOT SURE HOW TO EXPRESS TO YOU ITS VERY GOOD#VERY WELL DONE GIBBERISH SO WELL DONE IT MAKES A PROPER SENTENCE AT ONE POINT#gibberish so well done it fooled native speakers into thinking it was their own languages . so good im so obsessed with this#i had to share this fun fact eventually somrwhere other than yourjbe comments#and i remembered i could acrually speak here about the game and not only post art of it teeheešŸ˜Š#so thats your awesome fun fact micht also drop more if im confident in doing so and their validity because theres more tbat are in japanese#and im trying to figure em out watch as i study the inner workings of a language so i dont have to learn how to actually speak it#(i love conlangs so this is a good excuse)
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jaymesyourplaything Ā· 8 months ago
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hi i'm jay; i mod jim moriarty @criminalisticonsultant. those who know me, keep my name private please.
i've been asked to speak of my side since i have been indirectly involved for awhile. i need to apologize; i have recently injured my hand and i will be typing one handed. i can't guarantee when i will post, or how often i may respond if anyone truly cares enough to keep asking questions. (actually most of it is written, i have been sitting on this for awhile. )
if you're here for slander or an angry opinion against either of my friends, @consult-sherlockholmes (sherlock for the character, ver for the mod @veritassempervincit ) or @consultjohnwatson (john, not nicknamed yet, but mod account @sherlockbbc-rp ) then this is not the place.
i am currently proof reading my most recent draft, - correction. (changed my mind ehe )
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pleasedontcareaboutme Ā· 3 months ago
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I don't care when people don't include me in stuff, I'm used to it but-----
my own family going on a trip w/o even asking me kinda felt
shit šŸ« 
#like i understand cuz they gave up on trying to talk to me butttttttt#why the fuck am i the villain in the story even like this šŸ˜­#its okay if u dont give a fuck abt me. but at least dont make me feel like i deserve it lol#like yes sorry but i have a reason for lowkey disliking all of you#and i know damn well all of you know why#yet they always say that it makes no sense i behave this way#behave this way means keeping my healthy distance and trying to move out asap#i dont spread hate and im not an asshole with them???#but me not acting all lovey dovey is a problem too#yes idk i always think i should cherish that they are still alive and i could better my relationship with them but#What to do when you can see your own dad literally hating you#like when he talks to me he always does so in a cynical and angry way#man im sorry i was born and shit its kind of your fault for not using a condom :/#lol okay i think imma delete this later but yes#yes i hate it that the only people i feel loved by are de*d ffsssssssssssssss#like all is well lately but i wish! love wouldn't only exist in my head man! im happy this way but when i realize the situation its kind of#pathetic and idk until how long#can i keep on staying sane like this lol#im kind of already insane if we think abt it but how long will it take me to lose my marbles completely šŸ˜­#yes this crisis was spiraled by just me not being included in a trip i wouldnt have gone to regardless if they asked me#but yes like. Idk they could have just told me at leastšŸ˜­ i called my sis in the morning and she responded like 10 hours later that they are#w dad and a womannn doing some funsies eating pancakes n shit šŸ‘»šŸ‘»#i hate pancakes and i hate myself but šŸ‘»#im jealous of you guys frrrrršŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬› for being so normal n happy šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆā€ā¬›
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girlivealwaysbean Ā· 3 months ago
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it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreakā€š not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
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lieutenantselnia Ā· 7 months ago
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I currently have to write a thesis, work on the biggest project in my entire study programme and will have to start preparing for my bachelor's exam at some point, and my brain thinks now it's a good time to get back into Red Dead Redemption 2šŸ‘
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cupiare Ā· 7 months ago
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what it feels like when staff and students at work come to me saying ā€œi heard ur the one who knows everything and can help meā€ Thats nice considering iā€™m forced to leave in 2 weeks .. ā¤ļø
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