#but tomorrows my grandmas death anniversary

[autumnvine]

She's Gone

Summary: This was the first time you'd ever had a whole movie to shoot, a chance to work with Tom Hiddleston. Tom became your best friend, your saviour. He was always there for you, especially when you needed him most.

Tw: Death of yn Grandparent, mentions of blood in the crimson peak movie scene.

"Well, that's a wrap for today! I just wanted to personally thank everyone one of you for your amazing work. You guys have put in a tremendous effort, go home, rest up, see you all Monday morning bright and early." The director called cut on the scene, everyone was smiling all day filming with no hoovers, no retakes, no cuts. Everyone did so well. Youwere proud of your team, Tom was your best friend he really cared about you as you did him, his girlfriend was just lovely and you couldn't be happier for them, it was nice seeing them both happy together. For all you were single, you were okay with it, choosing to focus on your career right now over relationships.

Tom always looked out for you, he helped you through everything, on your first day he asked you to get coffee with him so you weren't alone, on days you had filmed intense scenes together he made sure you were alright and day where his character shouted at yours, he made sure to check on you and apologized for yelling eventhough it wasn't him, it was the characters but he wanted to always make sure you were alright.

You confided in Tom with everything, when your parents divorced he was there, when your best friend moved away he was there for you, when you were ill his was the shoulder you lent on. Tom knew your whole life, he knew absolutely everything that happened in your life, just as you did his. The bond between you was unbreakable. Rock solid.

"Yn you did amazing today, I'm so proud of you, how is your shoulder after landing o n it today?"

"Thank you Tom, you did great also, you always do your scenes amazing, my shoulder is okay trust me I had a soft landing on the mat, so what's your plan for the weekend are you and Zawe going out?"

"We are yes, I'm taking her out on Sunday for our anniversary. She's working tomorrow or I would have taken her away for the weekend."

"Awh Tom that's lovely have a fabulous weekend, congratulations on your anniversary."

" Thank you darling, What about you? What is your plans?"

"I'm not sure I might call home see what's happening there and how everyone is doing."

"Have a great time, say hi to your parents for me, be safe"

"Thank you have a great time too." You hugged Tom and left for your separate trailers,

Your trailer was almost as big as your apartment, a dressing table, wardrobe with your everyday clothes, some of your makeup and sprays. Sitting down in front of your mirror you took the rollers out your hair, took off your makeup and removed the dress from your last scene, you'd be in serious trouble if it got dirty or lost at your apartment. Slipping into some leggings and an oversize comfortable jumper with your trainers.

Gathering your belongings and driving home, you took your golden retriever out for a walk as soon as you got in, she was so excited to see you, as you were her. There was a great little walk around your home, through the feilds and trees, giving her some time offf the lead to run free without anyone getting knocked over by the speed she runs. IIt had been over an hor since you finished filming for the day, not once thinking to check your phone.

Missed call x5

message x 5

"Call me, you need to come home now"

"Yn answer your phone, we're at the hospital"

"Are you working, hurry up before it's too late"

"Yn call me right now!"

"She's gone Yn, your grandma passed at 3.15 this afternoon, she just wanted to say goodbye to you, but you wouldn't answer"

Trying to call your mom back a few times but no answer, Crying at the horrific news, your grandma passed away, yous had always been so close, when youy were ill when you were little she made you soup and scones, insisting it made you feel better. When you fell off your bike and broke your arm when you were nine she came over while your mom worked, gave you the controller for the Tv and let you eat so much sweets and cakes as you wanted. EVery birthday she was the frst one to call you, as well as christmas, and when your grandpa died last year you insited upon staying with her so she wasn't alone, but when she needed you most you didn't even know, you weren't there.

Leaving to go for a walk along through the town, the silence was making you more upset, knowing you can't call her, see how she was doing, or being able to get ahold of your mom, you found the beer garden she took you to the day after your 21st birthday to celebrate and drink with you. Sitting in the same table, drank exactly what you had that night of your birthday, having a coctail a passionfruit martini "I'm sorry Grandma I hope you found your peace" raising your glass to the air you toasted each drink in her honour. Drink after drink, hour after hour, "I hope your happy up there with grandpa"

"Hey just leave the bottle for me yeh?" you asked the bartender while passing over $40 to pay for it.

After a few hours you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder

"I'm sorry ma'am you have to leave were closed.

"I'm sorry, I'm going I'm just going"

Grabbing your purse and of course your bottle you walked home, eyes red raw from the tears shed for your grandma, your dog greeting you at the door, tail wagging, running around you as you kicked off your trainers,

"Come on babe lets go to bed."

The following morning you tried to call your parents again, who didn't answer again, they never text you back from last night. "Babe want to go for a walk?" youasked your beautiful golden pooch laying on the bed beside you, as soon as she heard walk, she ran for the door.

Strolling through the streets with your dog trying to call over and over, trying to take your mind on your grandma, it wasn't working. You could feel the tears welling in your eyes again just at the though your grandma was mad you never answered. All day you walked around with your dog throwing sticks for her, and playing chase, getting some water for her as you had been out for a long time,stopping in for a wrap on the way home.

You went for a shower, got some comfy pyjammies on and curled up on the couch with a blanket, tear falling onto the blanket, one after the other after the other until there was no stopping it, babe jumped up onto the couch and nuzzeled her face under your arm and layed over your lap trying to comfort you.

Monday morning had came around, no word from your parents, you had to drag yourself out of bedget up, get dressed, kissed babe goodbye "I'll be back in a few hours okya, I love you" you always spoke to your dog like she could understand you. You knew she could.

"Alright guys hope everyone's weekend wasn't too crazy, now I need you to be ready Tom for the last scene in the film, so get ready, get dirty, remember exactly how the hair and makeup wasbut your team will support you with this. Yn I need you ready in fifteen minuites, hair, makeup, dress everything, get whoever you need to have this done and go. The rest of you I need some clothes scattered over the floor on scene, I need everything done ASAP people, come on, last scene we can do this!" Shouted the director possitively encouraging all of you.

In your trailer you pulled the dress overhead, two ladies working on your hair, one lady working on your makeup and a man filming the behind the scene documentary. "Getting ready with Yn" Walking on set you waited for Tom running over your lines in your head, preparing yourself and trying to keep your tears at bay.

"Hi Tom, how was your anniversary?"

"Yn darling it nice to see you this morning, it was lovely Zawe and I had a wonderful time, how was your weekend?"

"It was fine" coosing not to tell him the truth or you'd cry

"ALRIGHT EVRYONE PLACES, PLACES......AND.. SCENE"

Tom's line "McMichael is still alive, he's alive"

Yn line "You lied to me"

Tom "I did"

Yn "You poisoned me"

Tom "I did"

Yn "You told me you loved me"

"I do, please trust me this one more time, let me make this right,you can leave if you want, or you can wait for me here, I'm going to get those papers back, I'm going to finish this, I'm going to get us out of here"I'm going to save you Tom kisses you "Now hide, don't let her find you, I will finish this and we will all be free, we sell the house and let themmines and the Sharpe family name die"

You kissed Tom and ran off scene as scripted, still watching from the side, he ran through the halls of the mansion

"Lucile it's over, she's gone, burn the papers and we will all be free"

"It will never be over"

"Lucille it's over pleae, pass them to me" reaching over to pick up the papers

"Nooo" Lucille shouted, cutting Tom with a fake knife as scripted "You did this, you made this happen, you were never supposed to fall in love with anyone, you were supposed to love me, you were only supposed to love me, it was perfect, it was us, and you fell in love with her!" Lucille shouted repeatedly stabbing into his shift as scripted. Obviously not hurting Tom but watching it hurt you.

"AND SCENE! THATS US GUYS WELL DONE" The director shouted, everyone started clapping and cheering, hugging and dancing with achother, but you stood crying watching as your best friend was stabbed oer and over, which you knew was fake and just the scene for the movie but it was all too much, "Tom" you shouted running over to him, wiping your tears and helping him up, "Darling are you alright?" Tom pushed a strand of the wid behind your ear oaway from your face, tears streaming down your cheeks, "Oh darling what's wrong?" Tom sympathised with you pulling you into his arms holding you against his chest

"Darling you did so well, your scene was amazing, are you alright? What's wrong? Did I upset you, I'm sorry my dear"

Sobbing in his arms he helped you up "Come on lets go outside, somewhere more private, get you some air"Tom was fully aware that everyone was watching your heart break in his arms, you nodded and walked outside with him but the tears wouldn't stop no matter how hard you tried.

He guided you over to your trailer, politely asking the makeup and hair crew to leave,.

He helped you sit on your front trailer stap with him sitting just infront of you, holding your hands runnign his fingers up your arms,

"Darling whta's going on?" Talk to me"

"I saw you, and she hurt you, and your bleeding and I'm so sorry"

Tom looked down to see the bloodstained shirt he was wearing, obviously fake blood from the scene, none the less he removed it, sitting infront of you topless

"Darling I'm alright, look she didn't hurt me it's alright, it's all fake, you know that."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Tom"

"Yn don't appologize it's alright, just take a deep breath, dry your eyes, tell me what's going on. I know this didn't upset you this much."

Taking some deep breaths of fresh air, looking at Tom's blue beautiful eyes

"She's gone Tom, my grandma, she's gone, my mom won't talk to me because I never said goodbye to her, i didn'tknw, I was working, I was filming I din't know. And now noone will talk to me,I feel completely alone and she's gone and nothing is going to bring her back. She was 86, it's her birthday in a few weeks, or at least it was. She's gone I don't know what happened, my mom text me saying there atthe hospital friday lunch time and at the three she text me again saying my grandma is gone. I'm so sorry I never ment to get this upset, or ruin your filming party, I'm so sorry Tom"

Tom gently held you in his arms as you spoke about all the times you had spent with your grandma, and how she adored you, Tom comforted you explaining to you that eventhough you were working when she passed, it's what she prefered, she wouldn't want you to get upset talking to her, and she would want you to be happy. "You darling I bet she's up there right now looking down on you, sitting with your grandpa, sh's reunited with her love. You finished your first film, both she and I are so proud of you." Tom kissed your head, he always knew exactly what you needed to hear.

"I want you to come have dinner with Zawe and I, I don't think you should be by yourself."

"That's so kind of you Tom thank you, but don't worry I have babe and I can't leave her by herself all night."

"Alright, well I'll drop you home and stay with you for a while until I know babe will take care of you."

"Thank you Tom"

"You are my best friend Yn, you are never alone, you always have Zawe and I, we are both just a phone call away alright"

"Thank you"

[elektrischemaidchen]

Lisztober #17: Frédéric Chopin

On the 175th anniversary of Chopin's death, we send our heartfelt condolences, @chopinski-official & @franzliszt-official And what better way to do that than with a typical Maidchen song? So, no eulogising today, just passionate  love. (More quiet & pensive songs from the 20th onwards, I think. I still don't know what to do with Rome by now.)

Of course, there is no Lisztober without Chip-Chip, as George Sand so ‘nicely’ called him. (Marie D'Agoult insulted him an ‘over-sugared oyster’, which is no better.) The shy, thoughtful prototype of a romantic softboi par excellence. Franz and Chopin are such opposites, but two sides of the same coin. Both combined are of course a primal force. They certainly saw it that way, at least for a while. (More on this tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.) And what would have happened if there hadn't been this constant catfight between Marie and George!

 Nevertheless, this song is inspired by George Sand (who we adore) and has a passionate Maidchen-Thirst in it as well.

And now I, the desperate Liszt fangirl, am writing THIS after 17 days full of Franz-mania on Lisztober: Franz was technically a master of his craft, a genius, beautiful (!!!), a jack-of-all-trades, a whirlwind...but Chopin was clearly the better composer. Because he poured his soul and longing into his works more than anyone else. And I actually listen to more Chopin than Liszt in my everyday life. I mean, have you ever tried to read and work, while listening to "Totentanz"? No chance. I need time for everything Franz has ever written, Chopin always works. So. Now it's out ;)

‘Liszt and Chopin have both moved away from their early compositions and yet have remained true to themselves. Liszt's music rains down from above, Chopin's creeps up from below. Liszt's music is sprayed onto the canvas, Chopin's is the canvas. Together they are the two sides of the Romantic soul. Liszt and Chopin had each other as friends, we lucky ones have both,’ the NZZ once wrote.  You can't write it any better than that.

And, oh, of course my Babcia would also have been delighted if I had brought him home with me. It is Chopin, after all. I don't think my grandma ever heard a single one of his compositions in her life, but it was enough that he was a Polish national hero. (She might have been just as happy if I had brought Geralt of Rivia ;))

She would have stuffed him with food, pinched his cheeks and knitted him so many socks that he would probably never have contracted tuberculosis in the first place. Incidentally, there will be a song about this on our new album ;)

And by the way, if you want to know how to win over a Maidchen:

Here it is, my first ‘mixtape’ (neither a mix nor a tape, but you get what I mean) that my boyfriend at the time made for me: Chopin's Nocturnes. With a self-photographed and self-designed cover from the Georgen cemetery in Berlin (?). He had me with that. Well, we also got to know each other at Body Worlds, sent Trakl poems back and forth and didn't actually do anything that you normally do at 17. But it was still exactly my thing. (Just ignore my nailpolish. No time for worldly secular stuff while Lisztober is on xD)

I also like all my guys Like tuberculotic And... hot My favourite of all, Is Chopin's Frederic His soft gothboy energy Gives me the kick He coughs up blood He's scared of me Don't you worry It's not your fault He's scared of the stage His soul, pure as snow It's chip-chip My piano deer He looks like Like he's starving to death Suffering And can write Write the most beautiful pieces His dark hair Frames his face His voice is nothing but a whisper When he speaks He panics before the stage Performing hurts him It's chip-chip My piano deer He suffers every day From world-weariness and pain And always starts crying after sex He panics before the stage Performing hurts him It's chip-chip My piano deer Hey, Fluttershy, I heard you like smoking poets? All right! I'll woo you With Polish native soil Babcia would be proud When I become your wife His fingers Caressing so gently The notes Oh, God protect Your piano-playing sons From US!

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

"Aunt Edana, how are you? How's Adam doing? He's missed a lot of classes, but when I saw him in the hall the other day, he waved at me, so that must mean he's okay, right?"

"Greetings, Prince Jasper," Edana replied, bowing to the future king of Strangetown and one of the brightest students in the Pleasantview Academy of Magic. "I seek an audience with His Highness Leonid Toyonaga."

"Uncle Leo? He's upstairs, I can get him for you if you want."

Edana raised an eyebrow at the prince's responses. She folded her arms sternly.

"You haven't been studying your protocols," she chided, earning an embarrassed shrug from the teen. "Your grandfather would be appalled at my welcome. I'm not Aunt Edana when I first arrive at the castle, and you know that. Formal greetings come first and then we can drop the formalities."

"You're right," Jasper sighed. "But it's all so stupid. Anyway, how's Adam? Why are you wanting to see Uncle Leo? Can you help me with my potion homework?"

"Shouldn't you be in class?" Edana asked. She mentally scanned the academic calendar, looking for a holiday she'd missed. She didn't recall a day off today.

"Grandpa signed me out," Jasper answered, already looking bored. "It's the anniversary of Great-Grandma's death tomorrow and Grandpa is having a service to remember her. We all have to show up to it, but I have a mini speech to memorize. I'd rather be at school; all my friends are there."

"As the future king, you need to learn your place in the world and how to honour the old ways," Edana insisted. "When your grandfather and mother are gone, Strangetown will look to you. The king must balance the country and ensure that the proper order of things is respected. The vampires, the witches, and demons, you must lead them all."

"Uncle Leo's upstairs," Jasper replied, looking annoyed at the lecture. "He's doing his meditations though, so he's going to be pissed if you interrupt him."

"Watch your language, Your Highness," Edana said, her brain automatically correcting the poor behaviour just like Jasper was one of her own children. "Leo doesn't like me on a regular day, so I'm sure that interrupting him isn't going to change his opinion much." She paused. "Adam is doing better though, thanks for asking. He could use all of his friends' help to heal. Be sure to keep an eye on him for me, okay?"

Jasper nodded.

"Of course. He and Theo are always nice to me."

Edana murmured something impolite about the demon who had hurt her son, but Jasper didn't seem to catch it. Good. The last thing she needed was for Ewan to scream at her about respecting all of the apprentices of the coven, even the one who nearly killed her son. She'd promised the coven that she would treat Theo like any other student when he returned, but they all knew the truth. She wouldn't likely be asked to step in to teach a class any time soon, but that was fine with her. She knew that Ewan was giving her busy work to keep her away from their son, but Edana didn't fight it. She still needed to investigate the danger her brother had warned her of, and Adam had been rather withdrawn since his injury. His father was the calm, compassionate parent; she had always been the protective, furious parent who usually only made things worse.

She could accept that. Adam knew that he always have her love, but his father may have a point. She would likely only agitate her son and slow his recovery. Her own fathers had seen it and her old coven leader had seen it. Edana functioned best when there was something physical to fight, otherwise, her emotions usually got the better of her. She couldn't attack Theo or blame her son for this mess, and she'd barely kept a security team away from her at the hospital. Her time was better utilized finding answers about her brother's cryptic warnings.

Leo and his family lived on the third floor of the castle. When they had tried to move out of the cramped castle years ago, the king had simply built more rooms. It always seemed like Josh and Leo wanted to find a place of their own, but Charley refused to let them leave. Edana could sympathize. Charley had made her a room of her own that he insisted on her using at least once a month. The man put family sims to shame.

As Jasper had said, Leo looked deep in meditation. He always seemed to either be meditating or playing with his kids, so when was she supposed to talk to him? This conversation was better without children present, so it had to be now.

"Leo! Er, Your Highness," Edana called out, forcing Leo to begin descending to a normal standing pose. "I was hoping to speak with you briefly. If you have the time, that is."

"I seriously doubt that you'd leave if I said no, so i guess I have some time to talk with you. Just try to make it quick."

Leo folded his arms, looking just as hostile as his voice sounded.

"Look, I know I'm a bit of a bitch," she began. "I bullied your husband for being poor and intellectually challenged-"

"He has a damn learning disorder!" Leo interrupted quickly. "We eloped and were on the run from the Red Queen and I nearly died of heavy metal poisoning that she ordered. We lost our first pregnancy because of her. We were completely fucked, and you and your brother made it worse by bullying Josh as he was trying to learn while working full-time to support us!"

Edana paused, trying to think of something to defend her actions. She came up short.

"Yes, but I didn't know that," she replied. "Charlotte herself rejected him from class until the king made her take him in. She used to know everything, so we never doubted her choices."

"Which is why she and everyone else in your little cult are dead," Leo stated coldly. "It looks like she was wrong about Josh, since he's living his best life and the kid she gave life to only to sacrifice to Death doesn't even remember her. Her legacy has been ruined."

"Which is sort of why I'm here today," Edana said, trying desperately to shift the tone of their conversation. "I went to see my brother's tomb and he appeared as a ghost right in front of me."

"Ghosts are very rare," Leo noted skeptically. "I doubt that Adam had that kind of power. The reapers are very good at containing the spirits."

"I know what i saw," Edana insisted. "Anna Goldman showed up to collect him right in front of me. He escaped the afterlife to warn me of something, but he didn't have time to say what. Something about great danger coming to Strangetown and the Darktide family. Normally, I wouldn't worry because I can take care of myself, but my children are Darktides. I can't risk putting them in danger by doing nothing. Surely you can understand that."

"I can," Leo sighed. "I wouldn't stop until anyone who threatened my kids was obliterated. To come back as a spirit takes incredible effort. Adam must really care about you. You two must have meant a lot to each other."

Edana nodded, unable to put her feelings into words.

"Our fathers both died before we started studying the final courses to complete our apprenticeship. We only had each other to lean on. Over the years, we both had boyfriends and girlfriends, but none of them could ever divide us. That is, until that bitch started filling my brother's head with lies."

"I do know what happened, I was there to see it all crumble," Leo reminded the witch. "Josh almost died fighting off your cult leader. Excuse me if I don't find your sob story convincing. I'm sorry that your brother died, but he sealed his fate himself . The Ocean can only wipe a person so clean if they are unwilling to change."

Edana groaned, unwilling to play along with Leo's weird religion.

"The old ways are what matter here," she replied irritably. "They saved Strangetown in the wake of its near destruction, and you descend from Holy Queen Jasone yourself. There's not a drop of ocean here until you reach the end of our borders. It's blasphemy for a Toyonaga of your blood to turn away from such an inheritance."

"Did you have a point, Edana?" Leo snapped. "Did you come here today to insult both my husband and religion or did you have something else to say?"

"Sorry. Really, I am. I don't like the person I used to be and every time I try to change, people always remind me how little progress I've made. My son almost died, and my ex-husband and half of the hospital all want me to be nowhere near him. I really do try to be the parent my kids deserve, but I know I fail. The Strangetown coven wasn't always corrupt, and it came to be how I defined myself after growing up in it. I understand that you hate me, but I refuse to leave until you tell me how I can keep my children safe from whatever my brother saw."

Leo's face softened at her words and despite his anger, he unfolded his arms and tried to breathe slowly and calmly to collect himself.

"You're married to my brother, Edana," Leo replied, the tone in his voice beginning to thaw slightly. "You make him incredibly happy and he's a pretty good judge of character. You and I will always have our issues, but for Ewan's sake, I'll try to move past them. I'm sorry to hear about Adam's ill health. My brother was devastated to hear the news. He's always been close with Adam."

"He's doing much better from what I hear. I'm going to visit him on Friday when I'm in town. I've been working hard on my...outbursts to people just trying to help."

Leo shot her a look that clearly doubted her words, but he said nothing.

"I suppose a quick conversation couldn't hurt," Leo decided. "We can talk in the king's office. No one can eavesdrop on us there."

"So Adam came to you to warn you?" Leo asked. The king's office was about the most private place in the castle, but it was far from private. With the amount of people Charley crammed into his home and all of their children, the halls were hardly quiet. "Where did you meet him?"

"At the royal cemetery," Edana answered. "The king escorted me that day, and you joined us later. Adam appeared beside his urn, just like the old stories say."

Leo looked uncomfortable at these words, though Edana couldn't imagine why.

"The day Lukas possessed me to go to the cemetery to warn the king about some unknown danger? That same day your brother appeared to do the same thing?"

Edana nodded.

"It seems so. He told me that Strangetown was in danger, that the entire Darktide bloodline could be lost if I wasn't careful. And...and he told me to go find a specific reaper."

Leo leaned back in his chair, processing this information.

"Lukas said something very similar," he stated. "That Strangetown was about to get caught in a storm. Whether that's a metaphor or an actual storm sent by the Ocean, I'm not sure."

"Probably a metaphor," Edana said quickly, dismissing the possibility of Leo's strange deity immediately. "Adam mentioned that this storm was related to the explosion in Twikkii Island a few years back."

"Did he now? Hmm. Well, we don't have a royal boat to blow up, so that's something in our favour. But an event in Twikkii Island that would impact the Darktides here? Don't all your kids attend boarding school at the magic academy in Pleasantview? That's nowhere near Strangetown."

"I know, it doesn't make any sense! Unless it means just me specifically? But even I don't live full time in Strangetown."

"And the name of the reaper you're supposed to find?"

"Atem. Do you know the name? Growing up here, he was something we heard about in stories. He's the grandson of Death, but that's about all I know officially about him. Folktales and rumors won't help us find him."

"The name sounds somewhat familiar," Leo admitted. "I don't have any clue why you would need to see him or how to even summon a reaper that old. So this Atem is the one who is bringing the storm or is he stopping it?"

"I can't say. All I was told was that he would know what was going on." Edana paused for a moment, trying to word her next sentence carefully. "Adam also mentioned you, Leo. He said that I needed to talk to you, that you've seen someone or something that could help."

"That I've seen something that could relate to the death of the Twikkii Island royal family?" Leo repeated incredulously. "I doubt it. If Lukas knew anything about this threat, they would have told me specifics. They are obviously tracking something strong enough to warn Uncle Charley about, but if Lukas had a new lead, they'd probably be here announcing it to anyone who could hear and demanding reinforcement."

"Well, has anything happened within the past decade worth looking into? No threats or protesters or disgruntled guests?"

Leo shook his head, running through a list of dangerous events that had been brought to his attention over the years.

"No, even Josh hasn't encountered anything too dangerous in his work, aside from your future son in law."

Edana glowered at Leo, his jab hitting her right where she was vulnerable.

"Theodosius is no longer my problem. Once Adam recovers, my strongest hope will be for him to see reason."

"I never did and I'm pretty happy with my choice," Leo laughed. "I don't know if Adam can match running away from an arranged royal marriage with the best man, but I hope he does. My dad got over it...sort of. Well, maybe. Maybe someday soon."

"You ran off with Josh, leaving Princess Charlotte at the altar and her extremely volatile mother with the shame and expenses?" Edana asked. "I vaguely remember something about that in the news. That might be relevant. Pissing off the Red Queen was usually a death sentence."

"Charlotte ran with us, but yeah, we paid for it. It turns out that the queen of Pleasantview has access to an official assassin, which makes a lot of sense in retrospect. I came very close to dying, and I lost our baby because of the poison. I didn't walk for months. I still don't regret choosing Josh though. I never will."

"All of this happened and you didn't think it was relevant to this situation? How can it not be? Leo, you saw something or someone who later killed the Twikkii Island royal family! You need to tell me who to look for!"

Leo grew quiet, clearly lost in difficult memories.

"I...I don't remember a lot about those months," he said quietly. "They were the worst of my life. We buried the remains of our child and the rest of the months were a blur afterward. My sister and her husband died in a car accident the next year. I've blocked most of that time from my memory."

"Then unlock it," Edana demanded. "I can do a spell or you could ask your ocean to do something with waves or whatever. This could save my family's life."

"The Ocean doesn't take orders unless he's in a good mood, and even then, he's fickle. I can't just try to remember all of this horrible shit on command, Edana. I'll need to meditate on this."

"I watched my brother's body hit the ground, bleeding out his eyes," Edana snapped. "I had to identify his body at the morgue. I inherited twin children that I didn't know how to care for. My parents are dead. I have no one but my children and Adam's children left of my family. Something wants to take them away from me, but I have a head start because of the brother who was planning on sacrificing his own children. Adam was a terrible person, I know that, but he risked everything to save me and my family. There is no way in hell that I'm leaving this castle this close to answers. You and I are going to make a list of every shady person you have ever seen in your life and then you can go back to hiding away your trauma."

"And if I included your brother on that list?" Leo asked, still staring calmly at Edana while she struggled to control her emotions. "Or Charlotte Maricourt, who spent her long life breaking the natural laws of magic and led your coven to its death? What about Queen Celeste, who kept her zombified mother in a cell unless she was performing menial, degrading tasks for the coven?"

"Living people only," Edana replied, gritting her teeth. "You can hold any grudge you want against the dead, but I only need the names of people still able to access the living world where my children are. Have you seen this assassin? Are they still alive?"

"I never saw the royal assassin myself, no. Charlotte found him mentioned in her mother's papers when she took the throne, but he never appeared to her while she was queen. We figured that he stayed in the shadows when he saw that Charlotte was nothing like her mother. It is a very real position in the Pleasantview monarchy though. It goes back centuries, possibly even longer."

"An assassin could pull off an explosion on the royal yacht," Edana mused. "I'd put money on him still being alive, that or he's found a replacement to fill that vacancy. But why would a Pleasantview assassin want to kill the Twikkii Island royal family?"

"Probably because their queen wanted the family dead. Though it was during Claudia's reign," Leo replied. "Why Queen Claudia would want that is beyond my understanding, but people do unfathomable things all the time. Perhaps the queen is being framed or this former assassin went rogue. If that's even the true culprit at all. Your brother could have just been lying to you to carry out some devious scheme he never got to finish."

Edana carefully mulled this over in her mind for a moment. Adam could be manipulating her, that was quite possible. Still, the urgency written all over his ghostly face had seemed genuine.

"How did the assassin poison you? Did you see him, or did you only find out about it when Charlotte took the throne? If you saw his face, then maybe-"

"The formal markings of the Pleasantview assassin are ghoulish, jagged teeth drawn over their face. We saw the design in the archives from King Mordred's reign. I never saw him, though. We think he had a partner or accomplice should he be caught or was unable to finish the job." Leo paused, struggling to find the words to describe this dark time in his life. "I had really bad morning sickness when I got pregnant. So bad that I was assigned a specialist at the hospital to help me cope. I saw this specialist regularly and took every vitamin and potion he gave me to help control the symptoms. I trusted that he was a legitimate doctor because he worked out of the hospital. As the months went by, I only got worse. He was slowly poisoning me. I lost the pregnancy and nearly died myself. By the time we figured out what he was doing to me, he was long gone and no one has seen him since. Uncle Charley still has a reward for his capture posted, but it's like he never existed."

Edana noted the short, choppy sentences that Leo had adopted and realized that she was nearly out of time to speak to the man. He was starting to close up emotionally. She often did the same thing when she thought about losing everything precious in her life. He didn't want to discuss this topic anymore than she wanted to discuss her brother. Leo was probably only discussing this as a favour to his brother.

"What was his name? What did he look like?"

Leo shook his head.

"I only knew him as Dr. Pinkerton," Leo stated. "That's obviously not his real name, but I remember thinking that it fit him well as he had very light pink skin. Brown hair, I think. That's everything."

"And he hadn't been seen since your first pregnancy? He just vanished?"

Leo nodded.

"Somewhere around sixteen to seventeen years ago? Just before Medora was born. My uncle's security team looked for him, but he must have fled the country. If he's still in Strangetown, then no one has seen him."

"Okay, so Queen Claudia has an assassin she hides, that assassin has an accomplice who tried to kill you and has completely vanished for almost two decades now. We can assume that Claudia had her cousin's family killed, or that her predecessor did shortly before giving up the throne. All of that somehow leads to a threat against Strangetown and my family. Does that sound right?"

Leo shrugged.

"It's a theory. I don't know what Pleasantview had against Twikkii Island's queen though. That part doesn't make much sense to me. Next time I speak with Lukas, I'll present this theory and see what they say. They may have something to add with all the sneaking around and spying they do."

"Thank you for your time and openness," Edana said, rising from her chair. "It's given me a lot to think about. If I make any more progress, I'll be sure to let you know."

"You do that. Say hi to Ewan for me, I think Dad wants us to come for dinner next week. Until then."

Leo stood and began to briskly walk down the hall towards the staircase to his suite. Edana watched him leave, admiring his composure. Though he was obviously upset from remembering a dark period in his life, somehow, he remained calm. He had lost a child and a sibling and nearly his own life, but he didn't let the grief and anger consume him the way it did Edana. His sister had been gone for a year or two less than Adam, and yet Leo was able to talk calmly about it. Maybe it was because he still had his family with him, or maybe because of his frequent talks with Life. Maybe his dumb religion helped grant him a peace that Edana had never known.

Whatever it was, Edana was extremely envious.

[gravehags]

tomorrow is the 13th anniversary and 22nd anniversary of my paternal grandpa and maternal grandma’s deaths, respectively and i just. miss them both a lot. my grandma marie (or “rie” as i called her because i couldn’t say her name as a kid) died way too young (64 what the fuck) and she was such a firecracker. i would have killed to know her as an adult. i’m thankful my grandpa, my final grandparent, lived to a good age but still i was only 20 when i lost him and i felt like we had so much more time to spend. anyway if you’ve got grandparents and you have a good relationship with them, please give them a kiss for me tomorrow.

[perfectlullabies]

tomorrow's the 2nd anniversary of my grandparents' car accident and my grandma's death and i am working all day idk if it's good or bad bc nothing will keep my thoughts away from it anyway

[rxin3akamallory]

That Night

I keep pumping out art like it’s no tomorrow good god!

Ok so y’all need context for this one, this is based on a short story I wrote I wanna say a year or two ago focusing around the day Barley and Maria became a couple. Maria’s mother passed away when she was young, and today was the anniversary of her death. It’s unfortunate that that day happened to also be her mom’s birthday. The whole day Maria was going through different emotions, but was determined to keep them bottled to herself. At least until she got home. Barley unintentionally makes her crack and in the drawing, he arrives inside Maria’s home. He’s come to apologize for not being sensitive towards her feelings and not giving her enough space.

An excerpt from the short I wrote is provided below. It’s ehhh tbh but still probably one of my best written work within the last year or two.

Barley: Is it ok if I come in, or?

Maria: Oh! Right, I’m sorry.

Maria led him inside. Barley sat on her bed while Maria went back to work on her broomstick.

Barley: Hey, you’re making a new broomstick.

Maria: Yeah I finally got the motivation to work on a new one.

Barley: I remember what happened to the first one. You were so devastated. You acted almost Iike how you were today.

Maria: Yeah, I almost didn’t want to replace it. That broomstick meant so much to me.

Barley: I saw a name carved onto the broomstick. Elizabeth Morven. Are they a family member of your’s?

Maria: That’s uh.. my mother’s name.

Barley: Oh. Did she give it to you?

Maria: Mhm. She made that broomstick for me so I could have it when I’d set off for witch training.

Barley: That’s right. It’s what witches used to do when they were the age of 13. They’d set off on a year’s training to strengthen their magic. You were able to actually go into training?

Maria: Yes, I know other witches stopped doing that decades ago, but my family believed in keeping older traditions alive so they insisted I’d go train. My mom especially wanted to see me go. But.. she passed away before she could see that happen.

Barely: I’m so sorry, Maria.

Maria: I was trying to hold back my emotions because tonight’s the night she passed away.

Barley’s eyes widened. He knew she lost her mother when she was young, like how Barley lost his father, but he never knew how she passed away. She never really talks about it to anyone. He wanted to know what happened but at the same time, he didn’t want to press on in case he’d hurt her again.

Barley: Oh. You don’t have to talk about it, but I know what that feels like. You feel like you have to keep strong for the one you lost. You want them to be proud of the person you’ve become, you know? So you try to bottle in your emotions.

Maria: Mhm. You see this bracelet?

Maria held up her wrist so Barley could see the purple bracelet she was wearing.

Maria: The night my mother passed away, was also her birthday. My father gave mom a new bracelet as a present. As she took off her old bracelet, she handed it to me.

Maria held up her left wrist and showed the exact bracelet her mom gave her.

Maria: I wear it everyday ever since. So I can always keep her close…

Maria started to tear up, Barley instinctively gripping her hand.

Barley: I’m so sorry for your loss, Maria.

Maria: She made me feel safe and secure as a kid, and to lose her so suddenly terrified me. I lost that secure feeling. I worry everyday the same thing could happen to someone else, to my friends, to you, to grandma, to dad.. To me..

Barley hugged Maria as tight as he could.

Barley: Shh, Maria no. Don’t think like that.

He let her cry into his shoulder for a few moments until her sobs turned into small breaths.

Barley: What did you get her?

Maria: Hm?

Barley: Your mom’s birthday. Did you give her anything?

Maria: Hold on.

Maria lets go of Barley and opens a drawer on her desk. She takes out two large rings meant to be wrapped around the end of a broomstick.

Maria: I wanted to give her one to put on her broomstick and one to put on my future one when I got older. I might put mine on my new broomstick, but I don’t know where to put my mother’s.

Barley thought about it for a moment until he got an idea.

Barley: You got any string on you?

Maria: Yeah why?

Barley: You’ll see. Here, hand me the ring.

Maria hands the ring along with some rope. Barley carefully puts the string in the ring and ties the ends together, making it into a necklace. He motioned Maria to turn around and when she did he slipped the necklace around her neck.

Barley: There, now your mother’s right where she always was.

Barley points to her heart where the ring was.

Maria: It’s perfect. Thank you, Bar.

Barley: And you shouldn’t feel unsafe, Maria. You still got your father and grandma, your friends, and you got me. You shouldn’t worry about what’ll probably happen to us, you should be more focused on right now. And right now, from this day forward, I want to make sure you feel safe so I promise to protect you like your mother did. With your permission that is.

Maria smiled, new tears falling down her cheeks.

Maria: Of course. I can’t think of anyone better to fill that role.

[bots-and-cons]

Stressed, tired and dealing with grief

I know the title probably makes it sound worse than it actually is, but I just need to vent, because I've had a bit of a rough week. I'll try to post something tomorrow, because I don't like leaving the blog alone for this long. Also I can deal with crap by writing so it's a win-win I guess. The stuff below might be a bit of a ramble, but eeeh

Venting starts here btw

There has been a lot going on during the past week and being at my mom's and looking after my little sister really drained me, because I didn't get a single minute alone for six days, aside from sleeping and I didn't do much of that either. My social battery is already nonexistent to begin with and then you add to that no sleep, it's not a good combination. I'm probably not going to my mom's for a couple of weeks, since I can't really deal with my two youngest siblings until I recharge.

On other news, my grandma on my dad's side died a couple of years back in June, and her husband, my grandpa is in a nursing home. I don't visit him much, because I can't really handle it well. He doesn't remember any of us anymore, not even my dad, and it's just way too much for me to handle most of the time.

Anyway, today we went to clean out their old house and it was pretty hard. I didn't really realize it right then, but now that I'm getting tired and have stopped for the day, it's kind of hitting me. We found so many old things that I played with when I was a kid, clothes that I remember my grandma wearing, actual physical photographs were stuffed into every cabinet and corner, and I found all kinds of stuff. I didn't really stop to look at them though, I couldn't really handle it. I looked at one photo for a while, my grandma smiling, wearing that blue flower dress that she liked. That's how I'd like to remember her though, smiling. I know she loved me, even though I didn't hear it for a long time before she died, because she stopped talking. I'll always love her and even though the grief raises its head occasionally, I'll get through it somehow.

Another thing that's been getting to me is the anniversary of Technoblade's death. He died last year at the very end of June. I don't normally get attached to youtubers or streamers, or people on the internet I don't personally interact with, but I guess in his case it was different. I started watching Technoblade when I was still pretty badly depressed, and he was a big source of fun and joy for me. He was one of my comfort youtubers and I still watch his old videos occasionally. I just watched a few old animations about him and hearing his voice literally made me cry.

There's a lot that's stressing me out right now and my grandma's death anniversary among other things just happened to trigger a bit of an emotional avalanche. I've been keeping all this crap in since the beginning of June and it's now all rising to the surface, because I'm tired and don't have the strength to keep it at bay anymore. Also me overburdening myself doesn't help this situation at all, so I'll probably sort of refrain from most social contacts next week and try to take it easy. I'll make some good food, bake something for my birthday (12th of July) and maybe go get ice cream with my bff. I also have an appointment with my mental health counselor/nurse on Monday, so that's gonna help the situation a lot too.

Stay hydrated y'all and thanks if you read all this :D

[alwaysthesitter]

Currently at the unit with my grandma. I got a call from my mom that I should come now and I ran out of work. Head nurse said today is probably her last day so to say goodbye now. I'll be here all day. She's smiling and her blood pressure went back up (it was deathly low) so I have hope but they think it's sepsis which means she might be holding on these last 24 hours then will pass. Anything yall can send me to make me smile would be so appreciated. This is all a lot. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my mom's brother's death so it's already rough this week.

[flowers-of-io]

There's this thing about the tunnel vision that fear induces, when you only care about escaping the thing that scares you and don't really see much else. And when you're afraid 24/7 it just sorta becomes the default state, I guess. I'm burning all my resources on being scared. It feels like I've got this very thick layer of dead skin all over me, and nothing can quite cut through it. I'm failing classes and I don't really care that much. Every thing I come in contact with only makes me more afraid. I was on a friend's wedding the other day and my mum texted me like "why are you so active on social media and not partying? :p" and I really didn't want to upset her by saying i was having a panic! at the disco moment and went home before midnight because a bed is a safer place to lose your shit than someone's wedding reception. I'm writing so much because retreating into stories is the only defense mechanism I've got left, and even that leaves me feeling bad (but at least is somewhat productive). It's winter so I should feel better, because in two months it's gonna start getting warmer and it'll only get worse from there. I'm so, so tired. At this point I want to stay buried and only spit stories at people because everything else is frightening and wrong, and I don't wanna touch it with a ten foot pole because I'll either taint it with my fear or absorb even more fear from it. There's no place I'm not afraid in. I don't have a room in my parent's house anymore, and that's fair, I've got a whole flat instead, but now I can't even go there to curl into my mum and lay low for a while. There's God but I can't, like, hug Him. My grandma's death anniversary is tomorrow and I'm sad she won't be on my wedding but I'm five hundred times more afraid of my wedding itself. I SHOULDN'T FEEL LIKE THIS, NOTHING BAD HAS HAPPENED TO ME, I'm freaking out in the middle of the street with the complete conviction of someone who's never had anything actually really bad happen to them. But I'm committed now to the feeling. I don't know how it started, I don't know how to stop it.

[thebendsbyradiohead]

cancelled my ticket for the cinema tonight bc i had to talk w my parents which started with my mom relaying how my father entered a screaming match against a ceasefire in gaza at the dinner for my grandma's death anniversary & ended abruptly when i'd had enough of him justifying why the dutch should vote right-wing at the elections tomorrow

[kod-lyoko]

i went with my grandma to a bookshop and she bought herself yellowface and she even chose the more fancy version bc she said it will be for the future generations after she dies (for me) and in my mind i was like bruh you know it's my mom's death anniversary tomorrow right?? like i don't want to think about death rn

[abstractlesbian]

Further context: this is my last week of classes before exams, I have like 6 assignments due and two presentations to do and it's the anniversary of my grandma's death on Tuesday night , booked wendaday off to have a mental breakdown / spend time with family, but will be working my ass off every other day this week then finals the next week then one last assignment then 3 weeks of field placement

[psychoticwillgraham]

just had a major breakdown bc seeing two women with their 90 something year old mother at the coffee shop today helping her with cane and getting her food (and she was clearly sick and barely coherent) today just. Broke me. i guess. bc grandma and i only got to do that twice before she died and just the amount of love and care these women had for their elderly mother brought up all of that pent up and buried grief from grandma’s death that i never properly dealt with. plus with the two year anniversary of her death coming up on October 25th (specifically around 11:30pm that night), i’m a goddamn mess.

cried the hardest i had since that first night without her (4am ish so technically the 26th) and i was crying so much that i could feel my throat closing and barely choking out words and yknow what? it actually felt good to get it all out after it was all said and done but I hated how weak it made me feel. like i was glass that was shattering. it was a true breakdown, and it’s the one i was expecting since the beginning, but it wasn’t violent and chaotic like i thought it’d be.

i know it’ll take proper therapy to completely work through all of it, and it might take a long time, but at least i got a fraction of those emotions out. mom’s forcing me to sleep on the floor in her room tonight so she can watch me so I won’t be able to sh during the night.

i’m ok right now. I am, but I’m also not. i’m ok enough that I can sleep easy and do emotional damage control tomorrow and finally do some goddamn self care. hate that it took for a breakdown to finally get me to do it, but it’s fine.

i’m ok. i will be.

[moonlitdestruction]

Not a good day today..

So today is the 3 year anniversary of my grandma's passing. But I could have sworn it was tomorrow. I was working at IHOP at the time, so I knew it was around this time. But, I was mentally preparing myself for tomorrow being the day. Then I find out that it is today and it hit me like a ton of bricks. My head is throbbing like crazy from crying so hard. I wasn't expecting it and it was like a knife in the heart. My brain fog has been bad but I didn't realize it was that bad until now.

So, I'm spending the day taking it semi-easy. Watching some movies, doing some light cleaning and trying to find my bin of photos so I can enjoy some photos of my grandma. I miss her so much and all I can think of is her in the hospice bed in that nursing home covered in bruises. The sounds she made is replaying in my head as I type this. My "aunt" being the vapid bitch that she is, attacking me for visiting her before she passed, and not giving me the recipe book that my grandma wanted me to have or any of her ashes. That also hurts. Knowing that she used her death to hurt us more after the fact. Who does that?

I have a clip somewhere of my grandma laughing and saying the word "fuck" because she never cursed like that and she'd scold us if we did. She only said it that one time because my sister begged and pleaded for her to. I'm going to try and keep that good memory in my head instead of the bad. It's not easy, but I'm going to do my best.

I miss you, Josh Josh. ❤❤

[radwolf76]

2023 Tumblr Top 10

1). 17,079 notes - Jan 5 2023

Pika Sword Grandma

See also the final form and the reblog from @notpikaman​

2). 596 notes - May 13 2023

The RED DOT Has Been Caught

3). 407 notes - Jan 1 2023

Happy New Year 2023

(When your first post of 2023 gets more notes in less than 24 hours than anything you posted in 2022.)

4). 262 notes - Aug 16 2023

Erwin Beekveld's They're Taking The Hobbits to Isengard was originally uploaded on 16 Aug 2005, not 18 Aug 2005 like Know Your Meme Claims.

(Mashed Taters was uploaded on 18 Aug the year before, so you can still celebrate the anniversary of a different memetastic LotR song on that day.)

See also where I linked to a video of YouTuber Jeffiot debunking Know Your Meme’s claims about the origin of the Doot Doot Trumpet Skull gif.

5). 143 notes - Aug 26 2023

Lucky and His Love of Being Bopped by Empty Soda Bottles

See the followup posts with videos.

6). 123 notes - Apr 15 2023

Guess what kids? It's time for yet another entry in the hyper specific poll bandwagon!

(Yes, these were all just describing me.)

7). 113 notes - Nov 20 2023

Experimental Prototype Documentary Of Tomorrow

Sharing Kevin “Defunctland” Perjurer’s latest masterpiece.

8). 40 notes - Jan 28 2023

holy fucking beholder, what?! ꙮ3

Celebrating WotC/Hasbro putting the D&D System Reference Document into Creative Commons as damage control for their bungled attempt to milk their own Open Gaming License for more profits at the expense of 3rd Party Publishers. (Good thing too, seeing as how executive decisions are putting the D&D brand on a death march.) Also, credit to @nyancrimew​ whose Bingle post I totally ganked when making this.

9). 34 notes - Jul 17 2023

Bonded Pair

See also bonus cuddle.

10). 33 notes - Aug 15 2023

Thought I'd Share The Voids Being Cozy

This was the post where I mentioned that Red Crinkle Ball is Lucky’s cuddle toy, his teddy bear. See also this post for further evidence of this.

Honorable Mentions:

verpfwot’s Miette Halloween costume from 2021. At the end of 2021, it had 428 notes, and at the end of 2022 it had 6,186 notes. As of right now it’s up to a staggering 18,082 notes, making it my most popular post ever, even resoundly beating out Pika Sword Grandma above.

My 1,437 followers (up 25% from last year).

My Halloween Costume that was two scary for the cats.

My post about Billi the Cat giving a reminder that it’s time to take meds.

My Metamour’s short story Storage getting published in the anthology Manor of Frights, and read aloud on the Horror Addicts podcast. (Not that I had anything at all to do with either, but anyone who knows my tumblr knows I’m always reblogging my household to hype up their creative endeavours.)

My Spouse’s yarncraft and art. (See note above.)

Lucky falling off things.

Jinx and the giant sushi plush.

My Hero Forge Creations, especially this one I made for a friend. (I took the lessons learned from that 3D print in that post and tweaked it before I had it printed for her, so she got an even better one.)

The time Tumblr tried to sell me a Fallout Melee Weapon, and the many times they tried to sell me nothing at all.

Both of my Let’s Read Homestuck Upd8 posts from April and August, since this is the first time since 2019 I didn’t have one of those land in my Top 10.

My late cat Hennessy showing up as a Tumblr gif in someone else’s post, and of course we remember and miss Percy too.

Previous Year’s Top Tens: 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019 

Created by TumblrTop10

[alwaysthesitter]

Currently at the unit with my grandma. I got a call from my mom that I should come now and I ran out of work. Head nurse said today is probably her last day so to say goodbye now. I'll be here all day. She's smiling and her blood pressure went back up (it was deathly low) so I have hope but they think it's sepsis which means she might be holding on these last 24 hours then will pass. Anything yall can send me to make me smile would be so appreciated. This is all a lot. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my mom's brother's death so it's already rough this week.