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ashwhowrites · 1 year ago

Note

Eddie, who divorced reader for a another woman.

But after him and that another woman get together he starts to realize that he messed up so he goes back to reader only to find out she’s pregnant with his baby it reader won’t talk to him unless it’s her yelling at him?

You can choose the ending!!

⚠️I pick the ending? Good luck. I hope this is what you were looking for and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting :)

⚠️talks of miscarriage

Lacy

Y/N didn't understand how two people could be in the same marriage but in two different chapters. Her and Eddie married young, two kids racing to the chapel the second they had the money. A small ring on her finger as Eddie promised to love her until death do them part.

They slept in the bed but felt like they woke up in different worlds. She loved Eddie and she believed she always would. She wanted a family with him, an empty room in their house. A room she wanted to turn into a nursery, but they struggled so hard with getting pregnant after her miscarriage.

Something in their marriage changed, the disappointment of every negative test tore them apart more than she wanted. She wanted to break down in his arms, and he wanted to deal with it alone.

She hated that she couldn't give him the baby they wanted. She hated that her own body couldn't create a baby for them. She knew deep down, if she got pregnant again he'd love her again. He'd touch her again, kiss her again, and be happy again.

She did everything she could to increase their chances. She ate all the right food, exercised, and did anything the Internet and doctor told her to do.

Over the last few months, Eddie got distant and she was worried. He constantly worked late, coming home just to sleep and then leaving all over again. With their anniversary coming up she hoped he'd be home and make an effort.

~~~

Y/N gave up on her hopes when the clock hit 8 and he still wasn't home. She sighed and cleaned up the meal she made, covered his plate in tin foil, and put it in the fridge. She cleaned the kitchen and headed up to their bedroom.

She eyed the lingerie she bought, she remembered how beautiful she felt in it. She hasn't felt desired in so long and she wanted to feel it just one more time. She slipped it on herself. The black lace complimented her skin tone as she checked herself in the mirror.

She felt beautiful and sexy. She didn't see her body as a failure or an issue. She loved her body in that moment.

"You look stunning."

Y/N jumped as she turned around, Eddie stood against the door. His eyes raked up and down her body. She felt her body burn under his gaze, she missed the way he looked at her. The same look he held when they got married. The love and lust it was back.

"Oh thank you," she said shyly. She went to cover herself with the rob, but Eddie's hand stopped her.

"Leave it open, wanna look at you," Eddie said, she shivered as his hands rubbed her hips. His eyes taking her in. She felt so nervous, and she hated it. It was her husband and she felt like he was seeing her for the first time.

His soft lips were all over her skin, his hands trailing up and down her body. She missed how he felt inside of her, his moans and her whimpers. She missed feeling his body this close. She ignored the alcohol on his breath, needing to pretend he'd do this sober.

She moaned because of the way he gripped her, the way he held her down because he didn't want her to go anywhere. The way he held her like he didn't want to let her go. The pleasure she felt when he came inside of her, feeling his warmth as she came around him. They haven't made love in so long and she knew she'd remember this night forever....

"Goodnight Lacy." He muttered, falling asleep as Y/N laid underneath his arm.

She felt her body collapsing. Like every organ inside of her was dropping into a bottomless bit and she was forced to feel the drop forever. A longing feeling to remind her of this moment. That when she'd wake up, her stomach would still be dropping, and she'd be stuck remembering why. Remembering the night he said a woman's name.

Who the fuck was Lacy?

~~~

A week passed and she hadn't said a word. She knew Lacy was the other woman. The woman her husband fell in love with. He was emotionally distant too, and she knew it was because he was thinking of someone else.

She didn't know how to lose the love of her life. She didn't know what to say or what she was supposed to do. It was Eddie, the man she loved since high school. They had it all planned out. The marriage, the kids, and she'd die first so Eddie didn't have to live with the fact she lost him first. But now she still did. She lost him and it hurt like hell knowing it was to another woman. She always thought Eddie was just as in love. It felt like her heart was being stabbed with every breath. How long was her husband out of love with her?

A week of haunting questions tore her apart. It became too hard to deal with, she needed the answers. But she didn't have to ask a thing. Every doubt in her mind and every question was answered when Eddie slipped over the divorce papers.

The silence was pounding in her ears. He hadn't said a word, just watching as she tried to read the paper through her tears. She felt sick that divorce was written in huge bold letters.

"Divorce?" She squeaked out, she looked up at him, but he quickly looked away.

"I'm not happy anymore and that's not fair to either of us," Eddie said, he sounded so rehearsed.

"But there are other options if you are unhappy! We can go to therapy, or just split temporarily. Eddie, a divorce is like a final decision." She explained, how could he want to give up so easily?

"I don't need anything temporary. I want the final decision. I want a divorce and I want you to move out."

"Me move out? Why do I have to leave? I don't even want the divorce or to be apart. If you want to leave me, then leave me." She argued. She couldn't just move out, she didn't have the money for that.

"It's my house, and I provide more for it. It's under my name and I don't think I should have to leave just because I'm unhappy. I'm unhappy with you, not unhappy living here." He barked out. She hated that his eyes were back to hating her.

"You're just going to throw us away? And throw me out like I mean nothing? Is there at least any part of you that cares about me enough so I mean something?" She cried, the tears flying down her cheeks. He still wouldn't look her in the eyes. Looking right above her head as he spit out the words.

"There isn't an us!" He said, smacking the table as he stood up.

"What about our vows? HUH EDDIE? WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU PROMISED ME?" she yelled, standing up as she marched over to him.

"Oh, you want to talk about promises? Real pathetic of you." He said, rolling his eyes as he looked away from her. He leaned against the sink as his leg shook in anger.

"What the fuck does that mean? ANSWER ME!"

"IT MEANS YOU PROMISED ME A FAMILY AND YOU FAILED! AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT YOU ALL I SEE IS THE REASON MY DAUGHTER IS DEAD!"

He screamed, turning around to say it all to her face.

She felt her organs finally hurting the bottom of the pit. Splattering on the concrete below her feet. The truth right there screamed in her face. The reason she knew was true. Her body was a failure.

Y/N nodded, trying to hold in her sobs as she turned around. She couldn't fight for him, she killed the one chance they had at being a family, and couldn't make more chances. She promised him a family and it was impossible.

She turned the papers as she signed every box. Eddie watched in silence as her tears dropped and mixed with the ink. Her name smeared across the pages.

"I also promised to do whatever I could to make you happy, and that's a promise I can keep." She said, sliding the papers over to him.

"I'll pack and be out tomorrow. I hope Lacy can make a family for you."

Eddie flinched at her words as she walked upstairs. He knew he wanted this and he knew he couldn't be with her anymore. He just didn't love her the same. But he felt guilty for falling in love with another woman. He hated that he couldn't keep his own vows and that he couldn't love her through everything.

Eddie knew what he said was wrong, but he did blame her. He blamed her the second the doctor announced their daughter's heart wasn't beating. He couldn't control that. He hated that he looked at his wife with such hatred but he couldn't help it.

~~~

Just as she said, she was gone by the time he woke up. He moved off the couch and walked to their room, all the small touches of her were gone. Their wedding picture was still on the side of her bed. Eddie used to have one too, but put it faced down.

If this is what he wanted, why did he already miss her?

~~~

Y/N moved in with Robin and Steve. She couldn't afford a place, but she prepared to save every penny she could. It's been six months since Eddie kicked her out. And so much has changed.

She got an additional job, needing the extra money more than anything. She also found out she was pregnant, she sobbed when she read the test. Robin and Steve rushed in, shock on their face as she showed them the pink plus.

They set up an appointment right away, Robin and Steve cried when the doctor announced it was positive. Y/N wanted to reach for the phone so many times. But she didn't want Eddie to be stuck with her again. She couldn't do that to him.

Robin and Steve were amazing. They helped her every minute and went to all the appointments. Steve had a collage on the fridge of all the ultrasound pictures. Next to the photos of the gender reveal. Steve spun her in the air was the pink smoke surrounded them. Robin smiled as she held a pink cupcake in another picture. She was worried she wouldn't enjoy the moments since Eddie wasn't there. But this was her daughter and she wasn't ever celebrating alone.

~~~

Eddie sighed as he left the house. He drove himself to the bar, ordering a shot as he sat down.

"Fight with the girl again?" The bartender asked as he handed Eddie the shot.

Eddie nodded, throwing back the shot. It's been three months of constant fighting. He thought once the divorce went through Lacy would be easier to be with. But it wasn't enough. She found other things to fight about. He doesn't know what changed. She used to promise him that she could give him a family and make him happy. He fell for her words and lost himself in the dream of having a family. He found it in someone else, but now she avoids the topic. She doesn't speak about having a baby and refuses to have unprotected sex.

He found himself missing Y/N more and more. He hoped he would shrug it off once he got used to her being gone. But when she showed up in court, it was like he was a teenager again. He felt his heart race and palms get sweaty. But her tears were a painful reminder they weren't falling in love for the first time, they were ending it.

He refused to admit to himself, but he knew he regretted it the second she walked out. The feeling in his gut knowing he truly wasn't going to be with her again. He wouldn't wake up in her hair. He wouldn't share coffee with her on the porch. He wouldn't hear her laugh as she watched the same TV show over and over.

There wouldn't be an Y/N and Eddie Munson anymore.

He finished his third shot and stood up. He left his keys with the bartender, and headed outside.

Within an hour, he arrived at Robin and Steve's. Knocking at the door.

Y/N sighed as she heard knocks at the door. Robin and Steve were going to a party tonight and she prayed they didn't forget a key.

But when she opened the door, she wished they did.

"Eddie?"

His eyes looked at her then down to her stomach. His eyes glued to her bump as her tank top rode up.

"What are you going here?" Y/N asked, crossing her arms over her stomach, or tried to.

"You're pregnant?" Eddie asked, his eyes filling with tears. She was glowing. Eddie imagined how beautiful she'd look pregnant all the time, and she was better than he imagined.

"Answer me." She snapped. She could feel herself needing to breakdown. But she was tired of letting him see her cry over him.

"I miss you." He admitted, he flinched as she laughed.

"And what? You love me? And you're so sorry for leaving me like I meant nothing." She snapped

"I do love you! I miss you and I miss us. It was all a mistake. Lacy and the divorce. I've never regretted anything more. I thought I loved her, but it was just something new. I got caught up in everything. And I didn't mean anything I said. I'm so sorry for blaming you and turning away from you. We both were heartbroken and I should have been there for you. You didn't kill her, and I never should have said that" Eddie explained, but she rolled her eyes.

"It doesn't matter now. You gave up. I don't care if it was "something new" it's the fact that you were attracted to another woman and acted on it. Love her or not, you cheated and that means you didn't love me. I blamed myself so many times because I couldn't give you a baby. I hated myself and I couldn't even lean on my own husband to love me. I'll never forgive you for that. And remember, there isn't an us. This is my baby. Go back to Lacy" She spat, slamming the door in his face.

Tags!

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#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson request #eddie munson angst #eddie munson angst x reader #husband eddie x wife reader #ashwhowrites

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riverashifts · 7 days ago

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@ MY BACKSTORY ᰔᩚ . ݁ 🎀 ͘ ࣭ 🎱 ⸰

⌗ 제이's GiRL : introducing my backstory—what i did pre-debut and how i became the idol i am known to be

˳ ׄ ⟡ ◌ ⃘ i want to do something splendid ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ｡‏‏‎ 𓏸𓈒 something heroic or wonderful that won't be forgotten after i'm dead. i don't know what 𖦹 ˚ ⊹ ♡ but i'm on the watch for it and mean to astonish you all ( little women 1868 )

⊹﹒EARLY CHILDHOOD

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ born in the same hometown as i was in this reality, i had a fairly normal childhood for the first five years of my life, i had a loving mother, and a father who would do anything for our small family ] — and then my mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness and passed on february 5, 2007

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ this caused several ripple effects for my father and i. my dad became a workaholic and took on jobs he never would've taken before ] — that's when he started taking on international jobs within the company, causing the two of us to move around a lot

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ first to seattle, then all the way to shanghai, then to toulouse, then to berlin, then to yorkshire ] — we only stayed in one spot for about a year or two before moving away as quickly as we settled in

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ during this time, i had to learn how to entertain myself because my father was always so busy with work. this is when i started really getting into music and wanting to become a singer myself ] — however, i was also really into reading—and when i heard they were casting young girls around my age for a role in the book-to-movie adaptation of one of my favourite books, i had to audition

⊹﹒FIRST ACTING ROLE

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ who would've guessed—i got the role!! filming took place in berlin, so for the time being i lived with my aunt and uncle on their farm near berlin. filming lasted for about just under a year—for me, at least, as i didn't have a very big role ] — thanks to this movie, i not only opened many doors to a career as an actress, i also met my first boyfriend, louis partridge, as he was one of my cast mates. we only started dating later on, though

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ gilded, the film, was released in 2012 and filming for the sequel, cursed, started quickly afterwards. the second movie released in 2014—and on the red carpet for the premiere event in la, i met sabrina carpenter, one of my best friends, who was there to promote her upcoming disney show "girl meets world"!! ] — meanwhile, my father was working in london, meeting my future step-mom and step-brother while i was out of the country

⊹﹒GROWING FAMILY

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ my (future) step-mom had recently divorced her husband and gotten a job overseas from korea in england, where my dad worked as well. they became close very quickly—but my dad would keep this a secret from me as i was still living away in berlin ] — when filming for cursed wrapped up, i finally moved back to england with my father, where he dropped the bomb that our family would be growing—they were to get married in a few months

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ i did not like my new family, especially the woman who would be replacing my late mother. i barely paid any attention to my future step-brother and i never even looked at my future step-mom ] — not only that, i was furious with my father for making such a big decision without consulting or even telling me. i wanted to escape

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ and then one day i came back home from school to my step-mom (after the wedding) preparing a meal in honour of my late mother—it was the anniversary of her death ] — from then, i realized that my new mom was not replacing my biological mom, but was stepping up to help heal our broken family. i no longer had any hostility toward them. instead, i started to learn to love them

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ it did not come to a surprise when my brother, hyunjin, started talking about missing korea, and in turn, so did his mother ] — so soon enough, we were packing our things once more and moving to korea as a new family

⊹﹒BEING A JYPE ACTRESS

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ sometime in 2015, hyunjin and i went out with our mom to do some shopping and ... we were scouted by jype recruiters!! ] — we were skeptical at first, but decided to give it a shot and auditioned for the company

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ we both got in. hyunjin as an idol trainee, and me as an actress. i was a little disappointed, to say the least ] — for years i had been wanting to join the music industry, and with this audition i had come so close, and yet they didn't want me to become an idol

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ still, i stuck around as an actress. i ended up starting with some minor roles in k-dramas, and eventually moving onto bigger things such as extracurricular and all of us are dead ] — but that's when i started to have enough. it had been years and i wasn't making any progress to becoming an idol. so, i quit

⊹﹒PRE-ILAND

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ i joined big hit soon after, and that's where i trained for the next year and four months ] — i was known as the "killer trainee" because i would always dominate the monthly evaluations—alongside heeseung, a good friend of mine

. ۫ ꣑ৎ ݁ 𓈒 ๑ [ things were going very well and i was making actual progress toward my dream. i was happy ] — and then the staff brought me together with two other girls (huh yunjin and aris young) and asked us if we wanted to join their upcoming survival show.... and of course we did

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thenickgirl · 9 months ago

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Bf!Nick HeadCanons

nick x male!reader

disclaimer: this is all fictional! these are based on my own conclusions as a (unhinged) fan.

warnings: not proofread. mostly fluff, a little suggestive. i kinda wrote these as they came to my mind so i apologize if it doesn’t really flow well 😭

Nick as a boyfriend:

♢ he’s the number one shit talker and comeback king, so he loves teasing you but it’s all laced with love

♢ not very big on PDA, but will hold your hand and give small kisses when in public

♢ he’s never controlling or jealous, he trusts you and is confident in the relationship you two have

♢ he will talk you to death, but will also listen intently to what you have to say

♢ he loves taking pictures with and of you, especially off guard ones

- “wait when did you even take this?”

“uhh…don’t worry about it”

♢ he’s much softer around you, always blushing or giggling and a little nervous

♢ he claims to hate pet names but will blush every time you call him baby, sweetheart, or my love

♢ he hates the teasing from his brothers so whenever you come over, he’ll keep you hostage to his room

♢ he’ll want to wait a while before hard launching your relationship to the public, but once he does you’ll be in almost every one of his photodumbs

♢ he loves the bond that you have created with matt and chris, but hates it when you chose to spend time or hang out with them instead

- “you’re seriously ditching me for matt right now?? is he gonna suck your dick? no i didn’t think so”

♢ he’s very protective, would not tolerate any hate towards you, he’s quick to rip someones head off their shoulders about you

♢ he loves going out and experiencing new things with you, whether it be new restaurants, new clothing stores, or even traveling he just loves spending time with you

♢ he’s making you watch every single season of RuPaul and if you’ve never seen Edwards Scissorhands…just take a wild guess

♢ he enjoys seeing you happy and passionate about things you like as well, he doesn’t mind a single bit when you guys watch your favorite show for the 12th time this week

♢ he loves hugs, anytime you wrap your arms around him he just melts

♢ he loves going on walks and late night drives with you and if you let him on aux omg he’s ready to suck you off right then and there

♢ he absolutely loves spoiling you: birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, any celebrations you’re getting flooded with gifts. he tries to make them a surprise but fails because he’s so excited to give them to you

- “i got this for your birthday, i couldn’t wait”

“but my birthday is two months awa-”

“JUST OPEN IT”

♢ he loves when you wear his hoodies and sweaters, he just thinks you look so cute in them

♢ you’ll always get a first hand look at all the new and upcoming space camp products way before they’re released

- “i think this one is gonna do really well”

“which flavor is that?”

“kiss me and you’ll find out”

♢ disagreements or arguments never last long between you two because one of you always caves

♢ if you’re active on social media he’s the first person in your comment section, hyping you up like crazy

♢ he’s not overly affectionate, but will always reassure you of how much he loves and cares for you

♢ if you’re ever in a car video he’ll make sure you get your chance to speak, cutting off matt and chris without hesitation

- “HELLOOO. i hear them, do you??”

♢ he’s not overly sexual, but is easily turned on by you, something as simple as a smirk or the way you look at him will have him on his knees for you

♢ he loves when you have your hand on his thigh when you’re driving, or your hand around his waist when you’re walking together

♢ intimate moments are always private, keeping things sweet and sensual, taking your time with one another. even on the rougher nights you both make sure that after care is a priority

♢ when you’re alone he simply can’t keep his hands off of you, always touching you in some way or another

♢ he loves cuddle sessions, but because he gets hot so fast they’re usually short lived

♢ he’s such a people person so when you take him to meet your parents they love him instantly

♢ he’ll be super supportive of you and whatever it is that you do, always willing to help you if you need it

♢ he loves to praise you even when you’re not in his presence, he loves talking about you to others

- “y/n is just amazing, i love them so much and i’m so blessed to have met them. i could literally talk about them for hours”

taglist: @demistyles @sturniolossss @mattslolita @guccifrog @luverboychris @muwapsturniolo @orangelala @freshloveforthefit @imsosillygoofylol @moonk1ss3d

#stromboli hc #mr stromboli #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolos #sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo x male reader #nick sturniolo x reader #a headcanon

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ladylilithprime · 3 months ago

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Day 4: Birthday

SAM WINCHESTER WAS just about to turn twenty-four when he was abducted by a Prince of Hell and thrown into a death tournament which he did not survive because he refused to kill another psychic human kid like him. He was just turned twenty-five the day his brother's deal to bring him back from the dead came due and Dean was dragged to Hell by the hellhounds. His twenty-sixth birthday was the last thing on his mind the day he went to kill Lilith to stop the Apocalypse only to learn too late that her death was the Final Seal to break and ensure that Lucifer walked free. And he was only just twenty-seven when his love for Dean helped him wrench control of his body back from a Fallen Archangel and drop them both into the Cage to be sealed away again, Michael and Adam dragged along for the ride when the eldest Archangel tried to stop him.

Sam's reckoning of his birthday got a lot more fuzzy after that point, what with his soul trapped down in the Cage while his body wandered around for a year and a half without him. Dean had once confessed to a similar disorientation regarding his own age, particularly the question of whether or not to count the four months spent dead verses the forty years his soul spent in Hell. He hadn't felt much like celebrating what should have been his thirtieth birthday in the middle of the Apocalypse, and neither of them had paid much attention to birthdays in the years since then.

So it was a bit of a jolt when Dean came up to Sam and clapped him on the shoulder, saying, "Well, Sammy, the big three-oh! What'cha wanna do for it?"

"I don't," Sam said after a moment of floundering as he scrambled to identify what his brother was even talking about. "We didn't celebrate your thirtieth, so why bother with mine?"

"C'mon, Sammy," Dean almost whines, looking supremely uncomfortable. "I wasn't in a good place that time, you know that."

"Well I haven't been in a good place on my birthday for over five years now," Sam pointed out, just barely restraining the urge to snap. He saw the moment Dean, thinking back, actually remembered what had been happening on or around Sam's birthdays for the last several years. "Yeah. There's a lot of anniversaries sharing the date that I don't feel like celebrating."

Dean had backed off after that, for which Sam was grateful. He didn't think he could have actually admitted to Dean's face that one of the reasons he didn't feel like celebrating was because he couldn't see a point in celebrating the birth of Lucifer's Vessel, Azazel's favorite, the demon-blooded abomination he had once tried to convince his young parents not to even conceive.

HE SHOULD HAVE known that wouldn't be the end of it.

"Okay, so the actual day has some bad memories attached that make it awkward for you to celebrate on, I get that," Dean said when he ambushed Sam in the library of the Bunker, startling Sam and causing Castiel to look up curiously. "So what if we pick a date, like, two weeks after that without any of those negative associations and make that your new birthday to celebrate?"

"Dean," Sam groaned in protest, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I really don't care enough to celebrate at all, regardless of the date!"

"Are birthdays something important in your culture to celebrate?" Castiel asked, frowning in confusion when Dean said "yes" at the same time that Sam said "no".

"It's complicated, Cas," Sam sighed, ever the more patient one with explaining human things to their angel friend. "Birthdays and birthday parties mostly tend to be focused on young children or the elderly, marking another year surviving to reach adulthood or into advanced age. Many people also use it as an excuse to solicit gifts from others, or even just an excuse to have cake and ice cream."

"Wow, cynical much?" Dean grumbled, holding up his hands when Sam glared at him. "But see, that's kinda my point. I know we didn't celebrate my thirtieth, but it's not like hunters tend to live very long once they start hunting!"

"Hunters also tend to be less inclined to celebrate their birthdays with more than a shot or six at a bar," Sam pointed out with a roll of his eyes. "Not my idea of a good time."

"Would you prefer cake and ice cream?" Castiel asked with a curious tilt of his head.

"I'd prefer not to even bother," Sam muttered. When Castiel continued to look at him expectantly, he sighed and said, "Look, whether by accident or design on the part of any number of beings, my birthday just... really isn't a good day, and the surrounding days aren't much better. Too many 'end of the world' situations cropping up on or around it, and even when we were kids about the only person who bothered marking it was Dean. I don't know why he's so eager to celebrate this year, especially after practically snapping at me to ignore his own, but I'd just as soon not."

"I see," Castiel said in a measured tone that immediately put Sam on edge. Before he could say anything or even pray for Castiel to stop, the angel said evenly, "You do not believe that your existence is worth celebrating."

Sam got up from the table, ignoring Castiel's penetrating gaze and Dean's stricken one, and left the library.

IT WAS CASTIEL who found him hiding in his room later. The angel who was most used to bypassing thresholds to fly directly into whichever room the person he sought might inhabit showed a marked restraint and consideration for personal privacy and boundaries by knocking lightly on the door and waiting for Sam's mumbled "come in" before nudging it open enough to enter. "Hey, Cas."

"Sam," Castiel returned, coming to a stop just inside the door, as if unsure of how far he should enter the room. "I apologize if I misspoke earlier."

"You didn't," Sam sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. "I mean, I kinda wish you hadn't said it in front of Dean, but it is what it is and it's not like you were wrong."

"Much like Dean, you do not wish to burden your brother with the pain you carry inside yourself," Castiel murmured. "Sam... are you so resistent to celebrating your birth and continued existence because Dean has refused to celebrate his own?"

"That's... part of it," Sam acknowledged. He didn't really want to get into all the reasons he felt that celebrating his birthday was a worthless and frankly inappropriate endeavor, not with Castiel and not when he knew the number of birthdays he even had left to him once the Trials were complete would be numbered zero. That was definitely a conversation he wasn't ready to have, though, so he refocused. "I mean, celebrating my birthday while ignoring his? That's like some weird double standard of favoritism, and I don't want to encourage that crap."

"I see," Castiel hummed thoughtfully. "Sam? What is the significance to turning thirty years old?"

"Not much," Sam answered with a half-shrug. "It's a decade marker, a big round number that makes it slightly more significant to reach than just counting one year after another. Thirty, forty, fifty... it's more of a minor milestone than anything else, at least until around sixty-five or so."

"Then perhaps Dean would accept a compromise," Castiel suggested. "Dean will be turning forty in five years and eight months. If he will agree to allow you to celebrate that day, perhape you might agree to allow him to celebrate your fortieth birthday when it comes to pass?"

It was so like Castiel to try and find a compromise for them like this, and Sam didn't have the heart to admit to the angel why he knew it wouldn't happen.

"Sure, Cas," he said instead. "If Dean'll let me make a big fuss for him on his fortieth birthday, I'll let him celebrate however he wants for mine."

"May I inform Dean of the suggestion and your agreement?" Castiel asked, and left Sam's room when Sam nodded, presumably to go find Dean. Oh, well. Hopefully Castiel wouldn't be too disappointed when Sam didn't make it to summer.

THE GRANITE STONE bore the name "Dean Campbell" and the inscription "There'll be peace when you are done," along with Dean Winchester's birth year and only the most recent date of death. It had been very tempting to put down every single date that Dean had died in a column marching down the stone, but that would have raised too many eyebrows in the public cemetery. As it was, the plot was small and held a ceramic urn with the salted ashes left behind after the hunter's funeral Dean had been given. The other side of the stone remained blank, a stark testament to the fact that the space beside Dean remained unoccupied by a matching urn and with no sure plan of when it would be filled.

Sam slowly let out the breath in his lungs and crouched down before the headstone, absently clearing away a few weeds that were trying to grow up over the base. He didn't speak; there was nothing left to say that hadn't been said in a barn surrounded by beheaded bodies. No point, either, since he knew there was no one listening... no one he wanted to hear him.

With a hand that only shook a little, Sam set an empty shot glass in front of the engraved words and filled it with cheap whiskey from an old metal flask. A matching shot glass was lifted and filled, and then Sam set aside the flask and clinked his shot glass against the one waiting.

Happy birthday to me, he thought with a sad, wistful little smile. He picked up the other shot glass and poured it out over the grass where he knew the urn was buried as he downed his own shot, closing his eyes against the burn that was more from tears than alcohol.

"Sam," a soft voice called from behind him. Sam stiffened and twisted around, wondering who the hell would approach him in a cemetery and say his name like that--

His breath caught.

The vessel was different. Whether that was because the body of Jimmy Novak had been taken directly from Earth by the Empty or some other reason, it was not that familiar face and frame standing before him. Not even that stupid tan overcoat remained after that. The dark hair was similar, as were the blue eyes, but everything else was different. Softer and thinner and more like that one vessel he remebered being described from a trip back in time. And yet Sam couldn't help but recognize Castiel in the woman standing there, from the strong posture and curiously tilted head to the faint shadow of wings hovering behind her shoulders.

"Dean wishes for me to apologize for him that he cannot be here to celebrate with you," the angel said softly, reaching out a hand and helping Sam to his feet when he took it automatically. "He hopes that I will make an acceptable substitute and birthday gift." A pause, and then, awkwardly, Castiel added, "I was given a bow to put in my hair if you wish."

Sam snorted, helplessly, and then with the dam broken he dissolved into helpless laughter and pulled Castiel into a tight hug. Not the brother who had promised to celebrate with him, but the angel who had made that promise happen. Substitute, no, but gift? He'd take it.

And he swore he would keep this gift for as long as he could.

#rk writes #suptober24 #supernatural fic #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #this one was an angst fest i'm so sorry

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creedslove · 1 year ago

Text

DESERVE IT - EPILOGUE ✨

Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: it's our favorite couple's anniversary, they deserved a celebration and we deserved a glimpse into their lives.

• You can find the rest of this wonderful story on my MASTERLIST

Warnings: fluff, sexual tension, smut (oral m! receiving, piv), fluff and so much fluff

A/N: Hi besties, I know I promised this two weeks ago, but I wasn't in the right place to write for Javi in the last couple of weeks so I delayed this chapter a little because I didn't want to write something I didn't have feelings to add to. Luckily, Javi made his way back into my heart and the inspiration came back, so here's the result, I hope you enjoy it ❤️

8k words (I got carried away)

Javi checked his wristwatch and sighed relieved to see it was still early, he definitely didn't need to arrive late at work on his anniversary day, because that would mean he would have to compensate by staying late at the end of his shift. Which, overall, was usually very calm, as Laredo was a calm city. He barely remembered the last time he had to deal with a death, but it was probably when Leonid had a few too many at the bar and ended up crashing his truck against a cow that broke loose from one of the farms nearby. It was quite a ridiculous death but not only did the old guy die but also the cow too, and Javier as the chief of police had to show condolences to the family after treating the case with as much respect and tenacity as he would treat a murder case in Colombia.

Colombia, he always smiled whenever he thought of that country, the one he very often thought of as hell on Earth. It was nothing personal, he actually liked the country, the food, the culture and for a few years he loved the women there too, but he had ups and downs, and his downs weren't great, quite the opposite, they were traumatic, exhausting and very often made Javi dwell in a spiral of depressing thoughts and heavy drinking.

But his ups were the best, because it was Colombia that had given Javier his wife, you, and he would never trade that for anything in the world. It was that hot, distant country that had provided Javier with the love of his life, and there he was, three years after his wedding day, two kids later - Analuz Peña, two years old and nine-month-old Javier Gabriel Peña, your little Gabe - Javi could tell the whole world he was a happy married man.

Nowadays you and Javi weren't the hot gossip of Laredo anymore, of course people still did talk about the two of you, after all your husband ended up becoming a powerful man in the city and many women were envious of your status, they knew the two of you made decent money but you never spent on anything extravagant, it was a comfortable life, but what people liked to talk about was how happy you always seemed, how Javier had proved everyone wrong and took his marriage and fatherhood seriously. Besides, people had other subjects to talk about, such as how everyone had learned that Leonid, the guy who died in a crash with a cow happened to have two wives, who only learned about each other during the funeral which led the two women into a fight and Javi had to put an end to it.

Later that day, when he got home, you two had shared quite a few laughs at the odd situation, amused to know Laredo had other things to feel interested in.

Life was good for the two of you; you lived on a comfortable ranch, your husband provided to the point you didn't need to get a job, you could stay home with your kids, of course their grandpa very often spoiled them too much, but then, you couldn't complain as Chucho also spoiled you a lot. Your husband was loving, caring, handsome and still every bit of horny for you as he was when you two shared his bed every single night in a small, cramped apartment in Colombia.

It always baffled you to see how happy you became, how good life was to you, and well, even if you got down on your knees every night and thanked God for the family you were blessed with, it would probably not be enough, your babies were your life, and their daddy… wow, he was something else. You loved Javi with all your heart and you felt so proud of him for the man he became, how he overcame his fears, his traumas and was able to make you the happiest woman in the world. You two were meant to be and the clear sign of it was the beautiful family you had.

Analuz was probably the most loved little girl in the whole world, when her grandpa didn't linger around her the entire time, bringing her sliced apples, or ragdolls, or taking her to pet the animals, she was all around Javi. She loved her dada with all her little heart, always waiting up for him to arrive, even if he only got home after her bedtime and you had already tucked her in. She still waited for him, even if it was against the rules, but she needed to give Javi a hug before bed.

And your Javi simply melted. Whoever had met the infamous Agent Javier Peña during his Escobar years, could never imagine a two-year-old would have him around her tiny little finger. The man who helped to take down cartels, killed and arrested many, had to learn how to braid his daughter's soft, silky hair. He had to learn to be patient and sit through animation movies, to play with dolls and to read all the bedtime stories that had to do with fairies, princesses and mermaids.

And he did an outstanding job.

For your anniversary, you and Javi decided to stay home and spend time with your family, unlike the other years, you two wouldn't go out, even if you two had the tradition of going out for a nice meal and some love making. The reason why, had been Gabe's recent teething, which made him feverish and uncomfortable. Of course all you wanted was your baby boy to be alright, but you had already gone through the same thing with Analuz when she was tiny and you knew there wasn't much you could do other than give him the medicine and cuddle your baby until he felt better.

You still felt a little upset about not going on a date for your anniversary but you would never bother Javi with that, you two made a great team, but he also worked a lot and you didn't want to exhaust him more than he already was, between the long shifts in the police station and coming home to a feverish baby.

However, showing why Javier Peña deserved the title of best husband, he had surprised you a few days before your anniversary, announcing he'd invited your aunt to spend a few weeks with you on the ranch. Unlike your mom, your aunt was a kind, loving woman who actually recognized how wonderful Javier was, and embraced your new family as part of her own; being in Laredo with you when you first gave birth to Analuz and later on Gabe, and helping you for the first few weeks, knowing how rough they were especially for new parents like you and Javi were for the first time.

Also, the fact your aunt seemed to have a crush on Chucho might or might not have had to do with the fact she accepted your husband's invitation so quickly, being on the first flight to Laredo only two days later.

What your husband didn't know was that you had also planned a small anniversary surprise for him, as your aunt kindly accepted to watch the kids pretty much the whole day, you were able to put into practice what you had thought. Javi was a simple man, he loved sex and he loved sex with you, that was a part of your relationship that didn't lack, but you knew there was an even better taste to it if it was unexpected, to everyone who took a look at Javi, they would see a respectable man and a good cop, but in the sheets, you knew damn well the beast he was. Well, you and several girls from Laredo from his younger days, way before even going to Colombia, but that didn't matter nor bothered you, as your man didn't look at anyone but you.

So, to reward Javier Peña for being the best husband you could ask for, you had to come up with a plan, a simple one but one you were sure would please him. First thing was to leave home early in the morning, even before Javi to put your plan into practice, you'd asked your aunt to watch the kids and in case your husband had asked for you, you'd told her to say you had to go into town to find things for the special night you'd have but you wouldn't take very long to return, perhaps he would think it was kind of odd, but he also knew how much you loved celebrating your anniversaries, they were simply your favorite special days, the milestones of the best thing that ever happened to you.

Parking behind the station and walking in, with the excuse your husband had asked you to organize some things on his desk, the other cops knew better than to question you, the wife of the chief of police. You chuckled at that thought and closed the blinders, so you could change into more comfortable clothes.

When Javi parked his car and entered the station, he was welcomed by a few lazy 'good mornings' here and there. As Laredo was a calm city, the law enforcement team was also… calm, if he were nice about it, and lazy as fuck, if he were honest about it. If there was something those cops didn't like doing very much, was definitely working; perhaps because things were slow and they often didn't have to deal with nerve wracking situation, but still, after all the stress Javi went through in his narcos years, he was more than thankful to be worried about neighbors' quarrels or small thefts.

"Hey chief, there's a case for you because there's a woman waiting inside" officer Danny informed absent minded and turned his attention back to the small TV they kept in the office for entertainment.

Javier sighed heavily, what could be so important for someone to come after the chief of police so early in the morning?! He was ready to carry on with his day without any bumps on the road, he even ditched his uniform - actually Javier ditched the uniform after the first month of work and stuck with the suits just like he wore whenever he needed to see Messina at the Embassy. It gave him a real nice look, according to his very horny wife, and it was more comfortable to work. That being said, Javier decided to ditch his usual, Javier Peña trademark uniform and go for his tight jeans and pink shirt. He knew what that outfit did to you, and he was hoping he would get a glimpse of your 'appreciation' for that outfit, but unfortunately you'd been gone by the time he left home.

And that low-key annoyed him, it was your anniversary after all, he thought that was a special enough occasion to have some morning fuck. So what he really didn't need was having to deal with a grumpy old lady complaining about whatever it was Javier would probably not care at all, because he assumed that was the kind of woman who would be waiting for him.

"What can I do for you, ma'am?" He asked as he opened the door and entered his room, too busy focusing on his hot steamy mug of coffee to take a look at the small couch before he had the chance to close the window.

"I'm here to press charges against my husband, chief…" your voice hit him unexpectedly some of his coffee dripped out of his mug and hit the floor, at the same time he abruptly turned around to look at you; and the expression on his handsome face was priceless: big brown eyes widened and jaw on the floor at the sight of you waiting for him in his office, wearing nothing but a nightgown.

However, it wasn't just any nightgown, it was the same one you wore the very first time you slept with him, back in Colombia, that night you watched him stumbling and struggling to open the door, with his face completely bruised after getting himself into trouble.

It had become his favorite piece of clothing and you hadn't worn it in a while, but there you were, displaying your gorgeous body with that particular outfit in honor of your anniversary. He felt his blood going towards one direction, though his heart also warmed, thinking back on how you had taken care of him that night, being so gentle and understanding of his neediness, the way he asked you to sit on his lap, how he had craved your body after playing cat and mouse for so long. The way his skin burned with fever, and yet he had never felt better, because he was finally able to have the woman he loved in his arms for the very first time.

"W-what are you doing here?" He managed to ask after catching his breath, devouring you with his eyes as you stood up and walked to him, locking the door on your way towards the man "I already told you, chief… I wanna press charges against my husband…" you licked your lips as you stood in front of Javi, your hands on his shoulder, caressing them softly and unbuttoning his shirt with a smirk

"Rosado te sale tan bien, jefe" you whispered against his lips, but instead of kissing his lips, you went for his neck, your soft kisses running through his skin and causing goosebumps on him. Javi's hands held your hips, squeezing them softly as he pressed you against his body and you chuckled at the feeling of his hardening cock against your body.

"What's wrong with your husband, ma'am?" Javi finally got into the game, licking his lips and smirking softly "word in the streets says you're happily married"

"Well, I don't actually have a complaint, he's a nice guy… but I've got my eyes on the chief of police for a while now and I can't wait to have a taste of him too" you bit your lips and pulled Javier gently towards the chair, making it clear you wanted him to sit down on his chair.

He gladly obliged and swallowed, his eyes darkening with lust the moment you unbuttoned his shirt and kissed down his neck

"You know cariño, there's people outside, we don't wanna embarrass ourselves do we?

"If you don't to embarrass yourself, I strongly suggest you shut the fuck up chief" you winked at him and opened his fly, his cock was already rock hard under his jeans because of course Javier Peña was still going commando, that was a habit he would probably never abandon.

You got on your knees in front of him, a clear sign of submission and licked your lips at the sight of his thick cock growing harder in your hands. You took it by the base, moving it up and down and feeling it throbbing, you ran your tongue through his tip, tasting him and savoring his whimpers. Javier Peña could never resist a blowjob.

"Fuck Javi, do you know how much I love your fucking cock?" You asked and felt as he wrapped his hand around your hair pulling it and clenching his jaw "oh I know it mi amor, porque eres mi puta" he smirked and you nodded with innocent eyes before sinking your head onto his lap, taking his length as long as you could down your throat and using your hands to stroke his base and caress his balls. You bobbed your head up and down, giving your husband head, just as his employees were a few meters away from the two of you, the way Javi was holding back his moans so he wouldn't be loud, you just loved the affect you had on him, he was still yours, just as you were his and neither of you could fucking resist each other.

When you felt his balls quivering under your touch, you knew he was close, it was just a matter of time for Javi to reach his bliss, so you fastened your pace, resting your hands on his thighs which shook slightly the moment his orgasm came and you welcomed his load into your mouth swallowing it like the obedient good wife you were.

Javi panted, his hands left your hair and gripped the sides of his chair, looking down at you and helping you up, pulling your body towards his and having you sitting on his lap. He hungrily kissed you, tasting himself in your lips, at the same time he calmed down. His fingers worked the straps of your gown down your shoulders and the thin cloth fell, revealing your nakedness underneath.

"Fuck cariño, you're gonna kill me, you know that?" He whispered against your skin, his lips touching your shoulder, trailing a path of affection that led to your breasts. You whimpered at the feeling of his tongue toying with your nipples, one at a time, whereas his fingers found their way down your core, spreading your soaked pussy lips apart and gently brushing against your clit. You closed your eyes at his touch, your knees still weak for Javier no matter if the years had passed and if you were a married couple, he still had the same effect on you as he did when he was just the forbidden fruit from Colombia.

The way you whimpered with pleasure caused his cock to go rock hard in no time, his fingers deep in your pussy now, seeing how prepared you were for him, so Javi lifted you up and bent you over his desk, sliding his cock into you, making you take him inch by inch as he fucked you in his police station. He played with your clit at the same place he moved his hips in sync with yours, your walls squeezing him and the sounds of skin slapping against skin were almost as obscene as the muffled pleasure sounds that came from the two of you. It didn't take long for you to cum and milking his cock at the same time, you welcomed the second load of his thick cum inside, clenching your pussy so you'd keep all of it in there. Perhaps you would also welcome baby Peña number three after that, or maybe not; it didn't really matter, you and Javi were already happy, with another kid or not.

•••

By noon, you were back home; of course you didn't want to leave Javi, but you had to, after all, he needed to work or pretend he was working, while he recovered from your morning round in his office. Besides, you two would have more time together in the evening, and by then, the kids also needed their mom, especially Gabe who was going through his teething phase. It was no secret Gabe was a mama's boy and Analuz was a daddy girl, of course your daughter loved you as much as you loved her, but no one could ever top Javier in her little heart; her grandpa Chucho came closer, as he was all the time spoiling her and doing anything she wanted, he'd loved his grandkids ever since they were tiny seeds in your womb, feeling happy and proud of the man his son became because of you.

From the moment Analuz heard the engine of your car, she rushed outside, a bolt of excitement running through her little body in hopes to see her daddy arriving, she hoped you'd bring him for lunch.

"Mommy!!!" She squealed and ran through the grass to meet you once you got out of the car, and you just admired your beautiful daughter. Whenever she ran freely through the green fields she did look like a butterfly, no wonder Javi would constantly call her 'mariposa'. She hugged you tight but her eyes wandered all over the place, in hopes to see her daddy and her disappointed face when she realized he wouldn't come for lunch, was adorable. If you had a camera, you would've snapped a picture right there, as you were sure Javi's heart would burst with love and pride to see his little mariposa so sad he wasn't around.

"I'm sorry baby, daddy is busy and he isn't coming for lunch today… did you behave well with auntie Adelaide?" Analuz nodded with her honest, beautiful brown eyes. She had so much from her dad, it was impressive. The way she sometimes pouted or how she tilted her head, it was all Javi.

"And what about Gabe?"

"Gabe cwied, mommy!" She informed quickly. Analuz had trouble saying her Rs, something common for her age which Javi confessed to you he was scared to death the day she would be able to pronounce it correctly, because that would mean his mariposita was growing up.

You nodded and picked her up, walking back inside with her and being greeted by Chucho "hey mijita! All this came up through the mail for you" he pointed at the box and the couple of letters on the table as he extended his arms for his granddaughter, who of course, didn't hesitate in going with her grandpa.

You nodded at him and promised you'd be right back, wanting to take a look at your baby boy first, your heart yearning for your kids, first your beautiful mariposa, and then your sweet Gabe. You walked into his room and found him there, sleeping peacefully in his crib, your heart clenched in your chest just at the realization of how much you loved him, he was such a sweet and well-behaved baby, he never fussed or cried unless he was in pain, and those his cheeks were reddish, you touched his soft face and breathed relieved he wasn't sick anymore. You grabbed his chubby hand and pecked it gently, not wanting to disturb your son from his peaceful sleep.

As you returned to the kitchen, you could listen to Analuz and Chucho, he held her, telling her all about the fun afternoon they would have along with auntie Adelaide, but she only asked about her daddy. You knew Javier would be so cocky if he heard her asking for him so much.

"So are these for me?" You asked as you saw some letters and a box over the table, seeing the red, beautiful box had a card signed by your husband and something just told you you would avoid any embarrassment if you opened it by yourself. Analuz was curiously watching it, asking you if it was a box of chocolates, eager to have one, but it was pretty obvious that coming from Javi, it wasn't anything appropriate for a toddler, however, you frowned

"Why are you asking about chocolate? You've never had any…" you always made sure to keep your kids' eating habits as healthy as possible. Tiny kids didn't need sweets if they had fruits, but at daughter's guilty silence, you could see Chucho cleared his throat

"I'm sorry mijita, I was eating a bar the other day and she walked on me and I couldn't say no… it was just a tiny piece of chocolate but if it makes it any better, my Javi was also crazy about chocolate since he was a niñito así"

A part of you felt quite frustrated at how Chucho simply did anything your daughter wanted, even if sometimes he disregarded your instructions, he didn't do it on purpose or to piss you off, of course, he just wanted to make Analuz happy and you couldn't take that away from him, not after how amazing he'd been to you and how her birth helped him and Javier to get closer again, like they hadn't been ever since your husband was a child.

"It's okay Don Chucho, I just prefer Analuz eating fruits because it's better for her health, but a tiny piece of chocolate sometimes should be fine" you smiled at him, showing you weren't angry "under one condition of course: that you bring me some chocolate too" you winked at the older man who laughed out loud and Analuz giggled happily "you'we silly mommy" she said reaching for you and hugging you gently, your mariposa just had the power to melt everyone's heart.

Chucho cleared his throat again and looked at you "so mijita, I was thinking about taking your aunt Adelaide and Analuz for an ice cream at that place near the police station, is that okay with you?"

You held back your laughter and nodded with a sweet smile. Chucho had smoothly planned out a date with your aunt, as he could simply leave Analuz with her dad and spend time alone with your aunt. There was no denying the Peña charm ran in the family. You agreed to his plan, and though Analuz was immediately overly excited about the ice cream and visiting her daddy at work, you let her grandpa deal with it, taking your box and your mail to your bedroom.

You placed them carefully on the bed and you were about to start it by the beautiful box your husband sent to you, when one of the envelopes caught your attention: the stamps were from Colombia, which was extremely odd as you hadn't spoken to anyone from there since you left everything behind and went after your happiness in Laredo. Curiosity immediately caught your attention and you opened the envelope, taking the letter in hand and reading it as quickly as you could, you recognized the handwriting before you could even finish the first sentence and the confusion as to why your ex-boyfriend Manuel Herrera had sent you a letter was increasing, he was decisive for you to leave Colombia and go after Javier, he, out of everyone, advised you to seek your happiness, following your heart, even after you'd been such a bad girlfriend to him. You didn't regret any part of your story with Javi, you were just meant to be and no one could fight that, but you know some things the two of you should've handled better, and Manu was definitely one of them. You shook your head trying to keep the guilt away and concentrated on what he had to say, reading about how his life had been in the last four years you hadn't seen each other and how things had changed. He'd congratulated you on giving birth to your two children, apologized for always saying Javier would never be a good husband to you, and broke the news that he and Colleen - the receptionist you hated and also never kept her eyes off Peña - were about to get married and already had a bun in the oven. You laughed out loud at that information, thinking of how amusing life could really be. It was funny how things fell into the right place without much effort and eventually everyone found their own way. You couldn't wait to tell Javi that he would find it as amusing as you did, and you made a mental note to write back to Manu sometime and wish him well in his new life.

Setting aside the letter, you focused on the beautiful box you'd received from your husband, you thought of Colombia again and how he would leave small chocolates or other stuff here and there on your desk and how he got you flowers for your first date, you would never exchange the life you had for anything else in the world at all, but you'd be lying if you didn't say you missed those times, the flirting, the butterfly in your stomach, the desperate touches and even the uncertainty about your future made you a little nostalgic even if it didn't make any sense. Not being able to wait any longer, you just opened the box once for all, finding a gorgeous pair of blood red lingerie. It was just so Javi you blushed like a schoolgirl, as your fingers ran through the sophisticated fabric, seeing the beautiful sparkly details and even if your husband had fucked you raw against his work desk just a couple of hours before, you felt the wetness pooling in your underwear. The little note he'd sent with the present just told you to wear it that night for him, he couldn't wait to spend some time away with you.

•••

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Analuz's happy squeals filled the police station the moment Chucho stepped inside and let go of her little hand. She'd been there so many times already, everyone at the station was used to the little girl always looking for her daddy. Javier was doing some paperwork, nose buried in files with a pen in his hand when he heard his daughter's lovely voice and stopped everything he was doing to open the door to her. His heart skipping a beat at her presence and he would never imagine that someday in his life he would experience the purest kind of love anyone could ever do: their kids' love. Analuz had been his little girl since she was born, and there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her. It was funny for anyone who could see them, how Javier turned into a completely different person around his kids. He wasn't a former DEA agent and current chief of police anymore, he was just daddy. He was the father who would keep his daughter all the time with him, who would do anything she wanted, would play with her and make her feel like the luckiest little girl in the world. He watched her running towards him, like a beautiful little mariposa flying and opened his arms, welcoming her small body into a tight hug, lifting her up and resting his forehead against hers. His daughter was so gorgeous, being a tiny version of her equality gorgeous mommy, Javi never got tired of reminding you how alike the two of you were and how beautiful his girls are, he never thought he would be this happy before but here it was: his perfect life.

Analuz giggled, wrapping her arms around her daddy's neck and snuggling him

"Miss you daddy!" She said sweetly, not letting go of him at all. "Mommy is home, painting nails wed" she informed her dad and Javi approved your choice of color internally, he was dying to see your nails matching your lingerie later, but that would be something for him to think of later, because at that moment, he sat down, letting his beautiful Analuz get comfortable in his lap and grab the first pen and paper she could see and began drawing for him. When he worked in Colombia, he very often spotted kids' drawings on other agents' desk and he never got why they were so proud of that bunch of incoherent lines scribbled all over the paper, now he just couldn't get himself to throw away any of Analuz's drawings, they seemed so precious to him, even if they didn't make sense, he knew his beautiful daughter just put a lot of effort into them, so the solution was simple: Javi got one of those empty evidence boxes and placed it by his desk, always keeping her drawings there, that way he could always take a look at them when he missed his sweet mariposa during the day. And he already had another box sorted for Gabe too, knowing it was just a matter of time before he started experimenting with his papers and crayons.

"Whewe mommy and daddy going tonight?" Analuz raised her head from her drawing and looked at Javi curiously, she'd overheard grandpa Chucho telling auntie Adelaide about how her parents would have a date even if she didn't know what it was.

"Daddy is taking mommy dancing, because today is our anniversary, a few years ago on this day, daddy married your mommy in a beautiful party on our ranch and you were already there!" Her brown eyes widened in excitement to know that information though she couldn't remember it "but you were a tiny little seed in mommy's tummy… but I loved you just the same" and then former Agent Peña went so soft, especially when Analuz dropped her pen and wrapped her skinny arms around his neck. Sometimes Javi felt his heart would burst with love, there wasn't any other explanation to it, it was simple, pure and real love.

"I wanna dance too, daddy!!!" She asked excitedly and Javi grinned, standing up from his chair and placing his daughter's small feet on top of his, at the same time he held both hands "then follow daddy's steps like this…" he calmly explained as he began taking some dance steps to an inexistent song, but it didn't matter, he smiled at how happy she got, and suddenly Javi thought of how things would be in a few more years, he thought of his daughter's first dance in her quinceñera and wondered if she would still be close to him; he really hoped so, because he didn't know what he would do with himself if his mariposita distanced herself from him just like Javi had done with his own father, he felt a wave of melancholy and immediately pulled Analuz up, hugging her as tight as possible, listening to her happy giggles and feeling his pain slowly going away. A knock on the door interrupted them when officer Danny opened it

"Excuse me, chief… we just listened in the radio a big storm is coming and the mayor is recommending everyone to go home because there's risk of flooding the roads"

Javi nodded and sighed. Storms were never good and he knew the next day would bring them a lot of work, but for the moment, he got a free pass to go home earlier to his wife and daughter.

"Alright, if my dad stops by, tell him we went home"

•••

By the time it took Javi to drive home, the weather had changed completely; the beautiful, sunny day darkened in a matter of minutes, seeming the mid-afternoon had quickly turned into night and the first raindrops hit the ground almost at the same time he parked his truck and helped Analuz out of her seatbelt. He held her against his body and the two of them rushed inside, avoiding being caught by the rain. He sighed as he didn't see Chucho's truck and felt worried about his dad, but you immediately rushed to see your husband and your daughter. Gabe was now fully awake in your arms, his fever had finally broken and he was back to being the dweet, docile little baby boy you all were used to.

"Gabe!!" Analuz squealed excitedly to see her baby brother, she loved playing with him and he gave her a big gummy smile. Javi placed his little mariposa down and picked his son, holding him against his chest and kissing all over his chubby cheeks, before getting you with a peck on the lips

"Chucho called, he's with aunt Adelaide and they both went to your uncle's ranch, it was closer and they have shelter to wait for the storm to end, if it doesn't, they'll sleep there" you raised your eyebrow and Javi gave you a knowing nod, the two of you thinking exactly the same but not saying it out loud because of the kids, but yeah, probably something would happen between his dad and your aunt.

"I'm very sorry cariño, but I don't think we'll be able to go out tonight, I know you were looking forward to celebrating our anniversary…"

You shook your head and smiled "it's not your fault Javi, it's okay, we can't go out, but we'll stay home, with our family, we'll celebrate it with our beautiful kids" you assured him, nuzzling Gabe's cheek and making him giggle.

"Let me figure something out for dinner, my love, can you watch the kids?" You asked but you knew it wasn't even necessary, Javi was a great dad and he often watched the kids because he liked to, he enjoyed spending time and playing with them, and not simply because he had to. Of course, going out would be nice, but eventually, you enjoyed the fact you had the house for your husband and yourself, the kids wouldn't take long to fall asleep, and you two could enjoy the time to be together without any interruptions or the need to watch ourselves all the time.

Javi sat on the carpet with his kids, even if back protested against it, he just made sure to be there, holding them close and helping them playing with their own toys - Analuz loved her dolls and Gabe loved blocks - he just gave them attention, spending a precious time with them while the rain poured outside. You made your family some dinner and of course it wasn't a special menu like you figured you would have with Javi if you had gone out, but you also knew you would have other opportunities for that, it was nobody's fault, the weather could be unpredictable at times and no one could fight against the nature. After everyone had eaten and he'd helped you with the dishes, you sat on the couch with Javi and the kids, the four of you snuggling with each other, as the kids played happily with each other and you admired your husband. He was so handsome, just like the first time you got to Colombia and met the infamous Agent Peña, you couldn't wrap your head around the fact he was simply gorgeously handsome and just a few years later, he would be yours and no one else's.

At the first sign of the kids being sleepy, you took Gabe and Javi took Analuz, taking them to their shared bedroom. You placing your baby boy in the crib and Javi his little mariposa in bed. Gabe fell asleep easily, just like every night he was tucked in, wrapped in warm blankets and a couple of soft words from his mommy and he was happily off to dreamland. Analuz, on the other hand, could only fall asleep if her daddy told her a story, which he patiently did, no matter how tired he was, he would keep himself awake and tell her whichever stories she wanted to hear; fairies, princesses, pirates, spaceships or anything at all, he would make it up for her.

You wished your daughter goodnight and excused yourself, leaving father and daughter alone in the bedroom, Javi's hand stroked her small face, earning a lovely smile from her

"I love you daddy" she said between yawns and held his hand with her tiny one

"I love you too, mariposa, so much…" he pecked her forehead and watched as Analuz closed her little eyes and joined her brother in dreamland, the two of them being so safe and loved in the Peña family.

You turned around to see Javi walking into your living room, he had no right to look that devilish handsome in a pink shirt, but there he was: two buttons undone, strong arms exposed and tight jeans, just like your hot Colombian summer dream was. You bit your lips and smiled at him, you'd applied some red lipstick, matching your nails and the red gown you put on, over the gorgeous pair of lingerie he'd gifted you. He was dominated by the sight in front of him, you looked like a walking sin and it was all for him; he was a lucky bastard and nothing would ever change that. Taking a step closer, he placed his hands on your waist, pulling you closer and licking his lips at the sight of you;

"Fuck me cariño… How can you walk around being so goddamn gorgeous all the time?" His voice wasn't much more than a low groan and he lowered himself enough to nuzzle your cleavage, his lips ghosting over your skin. You had always looked incredible to him, but he couldn't deny how much he loved your breasts after you got pregnant, it simply drove him mad.

Javi's soft touches went for your neck, at the same time you let out a shaky breath, that man knowing his shit and how to play you.

"I'm sorry our plans got ruined, I really wanted to have taken you out, I'm not complaining about your sexy attire here…" he pointed at your body covered by some tempting pieces of cloth "but I wanted to take you out, you spend a lot of time taking care of the house, the kids, of me… I wanted you to have fun" he sighed and gave you the puppy eyes as another thunder broke outside.

"It's not your fault the worst storm to hit Laredo in years happened to be on our anniversary day, Javi… besides, you got to come home earlier, we spent some nice time with our kids and the cherry on top is that the grown-ups are out and we have the house all for ourselves" you winked and the two of you burst out laughing. You noticed Javi swayed your hips at an imaginary step, and followed it shyly, dancing to the sound of rain.

"But just out of curiosity, where would you take me?"

"I'd take you out for dinner of course, maybe that steakhouse we like or the Italian place, it would be your call, hermosa… then I'd take you out to dance, we would dance some bolero and then I'd take you to the nice hotel, get ourselves a room and rail you into morning light"

You chuckled at Javi's sentence, seeing he had planned everything perfectly for that night, it would have been definitely special, you weren't doubting that, but you also likes how it ended up, just the two of you, intimate and cozy like it had always been, since the beginning of your relationship.

"Well, the last part we can still make it happen, chief Peña… you can rail me for as long as can take me" you teased and Javi's hand immediately went down on your ass, giving you a well-deserved swat and making you squeak "in fact, I'm all ready for it, you are the one who looks overdressed…" you undid another button of his shirt "but I'm a little curious: why go out to dance?"

"I realized I was a bad boyfriend and never took you out to dance while we were in Colombia, there were so many bars you wanted to have gone and we never did…"

"You were never a bad boyfriend, Javi, never. We just didn't have time, maybe because we dated for five minutes before getting married and having kids" the two of you chuckled again at your own inside joke "you've always been the best boyfriend in the world, you were so good at it I ended up marrying you"

"Do you ever miss it? Colombia, I mean? How we were back then, how things were horrible at work, but how good we were, how there used to be only you and me in the world once we got inside our apartment…" he asked you curiously and you nodded, surprised to see Javi held as much nostalgia as you did in your hearts.

"I do… it feels it happened ages ago, we were so young back then… well, I know it's only been what, four? Five years we've met? But it was a marriage and two babies ago, and we were very different people, I miss it too, as much as I love our family, it feels kind of sad knowing these special moments won't ever come back right? I mean, this moment right here, us dancing to nothing in our living room with a baby and a toddler sleeping peacefully in the next room will only be a sweet memory in a few years and sometimes that makes me sad becau-"

Javi kissed you. He knew how you had a habit of overthinking things and he didn't want it to make you upset when you two were having a special moment together. He held you tight, as if his life depended on it and though he understood perfectly what you meant, he knew you two couldn't let the fear of time passing by and changing your lives become bigger than the joy you felt in the present. He knew you two would be together for life and you had a beautiful family, perhaps another baby could come anytime, or not, it didn't matter because you were happy as long as you had each other.

"Mi amor, I was thinking… would you like to come back? To Colombia, like on vacation? We have some extra cash and maybe the kids would enjoy it too, visiting a different country, trying new food?"

"Do you mean, Bogota?"

"Well, I was thinking of Cartagena, with the beaches, the beautiful landscape… maybe we could even renew our vows?"

"I'd like that, Javi… I really would, going back to the place where you became my Javi and showing our kids that"

"Good then, Mrs.Peña, I can't wait"

That night Javi took you to bed, like many other nights you'd spent together, but instead of railing you like he said he would, he made love to you, just like it happened on your wedding day. He treated you like a delicate flower, with so much love, affection and appreciation, he showed you how much he adored you, your body, your touch, your taste, everything about you. You were his wife, the love of his life, the mother of his precious, beautiful children and all he could do was to thank God, or destiny, or whoever was in charge of giving that undeserving man so much joy and happiness in life. When you were more than satisfied, being brought to your orgasm for the fifth time that night, he allowed himself to finish inside of you, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against yours, mumbling love words under his breath. He panted as beads of sweat formed on his forehead, your bodies pressed tight against each other's. Javier rolled on his back and pulled you to him, you resting against his chest, letting out a tired but satisfied sigh as you listened to his heartbeat. You never wanted any other kind of life, looking back at all the good and bad you went with Javier, you knew you wouldn't change one single thing, because that was what led you and Javier to what you had now, a marriage full of love and a gorgeous family.

In the middle of the night, you woke up with Analuz poking your side. She wanted to tell you Gabe woke up with a thunder and started crying, but before you could even get up, Javier was already on it, walking to the kids' room and picking up his son. He checked if Gabe needed a diaper change, but he was fine; perhaps he just needed a snuggle. He pressed his son against his chest gently and pecked his forehead, the baby sniffed and buried his face into the crook of his daddy, and by the time Javier was back to bed, Analuz was already tucked into it, so warm. You chuckled at your husband and helped him get under the blankets. It didn't take long for Javi to fall asleep with the kids and you stayed awake a little longer, admiring them. The three of them were so peaceful at that moment, and you closed your eyes, joining your family in the sweet slumber, knowing once you woke up, they'd be there for you.

You and Javi weren't the best people in the world, you've had your share of doing bad things and hurting people's feelings, but you were just human beings with flaws and qualities, and you found love in each other, both of you lost at first, but things fell into the right place even if it took a while, and soon enough it all made sense, you and Javi were meant to be and nothing could ever keep the two of you apart.

Your family and was the best thing you had and you deserved all the happiness you got.

____

A/N: this is it, besties, the final chapter of our lovely story. Thank you so so so much for all the love you've given me and this story, I hope you liked it, it came from the bottom of my heart ❤️

And this incredible, gorgeous, amazing, beautiful fanart of Javi and his daughter Analuz made by my sweet friend @bl0odymari ❤️ thank you for it honey ❤️

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eclipsedrgn · 1 year ago

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He loves me

Pair: 2k12 Leonardo x Rise! Reader

Summary: At the final battle against Kraang, you sacrificed your life to save the Turtles only for you to end up with another version of them.

Warning: Angst with happy ending

Part 1

RISE OF THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES - P.O.V

The blue bandana turtle gasps awake as another nightmare filled his dreams, it's been happening for quite some time, the same dream. His brothers, father, Amelia and (Y/n) fighting the Kraang then it fades to (Y/n) tearily saying goodbye to them as the portal shuts. Amelia has been there for him every step of the way, but lately she's been having her own problem above ground and couldn't be with him.

Groaning, Leo turns to his side to see the clock, it was only five am, other than Raph who was probably training or Donnie working on an invention no one would be bothering him. But he stood up anyway and walk out of his room, to his surprise, his brothers sat there in the TV room with a gloomy look on their faces.

Ah yes.

It is (Y/n)'s third death anniversary.

Every year the brothers go to the same spot where you were perish, the same time as the battle ended and leave flowers. Since your death Draxum has been searching for a spell to bring you back, perhaps you were still alive on the other side but as time became hours, days, months and eventually three years have passed.

Draxum knew you were gone.

"Hey Leo" Raph greeted, "Ready to go?"

"Is everyone ready?" Leo asks.

Raph nodded, "Dad and the others went ahead, we three waited for you. We know how much this has been hitting you, even though years have gone by"

Leo chuckled darkly, "It should've been me"

"Leo..." Mikey sighs, "I should've been able to open the portal like Casey said future me did. But I didn't. I couldn't"

"We have to accept that (Y/n)'s dead. She couldn't have survive that dimension without any needs" Donnie pointed out.

"Let's just go" Leo groans as they journey their way to your final resting place.

Arriving there, Leo saw the rest of his family as his eyes starts tearing up. A little monument for you and the flowers you favored laid there, light pink candles lit up in your honor as the family said their prayers.

"We defeated the Kraang, three years ago today" Splinter says as everyone looks at him. "But we also lost an alley, our friend, my daughter"

"I still remember the way she looked at me" Amelia says her voice cracks as tears gather in her eyes. "She told me "I love you all" as the portal closes"

"I-I just wished I could've done something-"

"BUT YOU DIDN'T" Leo shouts, done with everything, done with his girlfriend constantly reminding him she could've help. But nothing. "For three years you say that, you stood there and watch her die. And you have the audacity to tell us she loves us as you stood there. J-Just shut up"

"Leonardo" Splinter warns, shocked at his son's temper.

"I barely sleep, I barely eat, every time I close my eyes I see her haunting my dreams!" Leo cries.

"Bro, relax-" Mikey says placing his hands on the blue clad's shoulder. "She wouldn't want this"

"Every year..." Donnie mutters.

This was a first of Leo snapping at Amelia, the passed two years he's screamed his feelings to his brothers but never Amelia, he didn't want to make her feel bad.

But did she really have to repeat those words?

Every fucking year.

"I j-just want to f-forget about her" Leo cries as he collapses into Mikey's shoulder.

Raph sighs looking up to the sky when he sees something weird, "Uh guys? Is the sky suppose to have purple triangles?"

They looked at the red clad weirdly before looking up, seeing the exact things he's described.

A flash of white and their screams was the last thing people heard.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

2k12 TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES - P.O.V

3 long years since the death of Master Splinter, the defeat of the Shredder and the mumified Shredder... for some reason...

The Turtles has completed their mission, the Foot Clan now under Karai is on their side, the Mightly Mutanimals are their partners for missions and the Kraangs officially gone from earth.

They're lives became rather peaceful.

Donatello invented what he calls a T-munization, a watch that helps mutants blend with the human world. The Turtles uses it to go on dates, walk around during the day and even went to school.

Raphael welcomed Mona Lisa to earth a year ago after she decided to move in with him, leaving her life in space behind. Wearing the watch, Mona is a latina woman with beautiful dark brown curly hair and dakrish golden eyes. Currently, she's in university earning her degree in fashion, something she sound fasinating when moving to earth.

Donatello completely moved on from April when he met Hailey, a complete opposite personality from Donnie. Hailey is a half white, half asian girl with blonde hair and pink highlights, her blue eyes slightly brighter than Leo's. She's a fun, active and hyper girl but extremely smart. Currently, she's finishing her double degree in Mathematics and Biology.

Michelangelo was in a relationship with Renet, but the long distance and her constantly not reaching out to him got him sad and thought she wasn't worth the time anymore. The two mutually broke up and now he's dating Katherine or Kat for short, a short white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes with a dazzling personality matching Mikey's. She's an athlete focusing on volleyball.

Lastly, the leader in blue Leonardo. Trying to work things out with Karai didn't work in his favor. It was too weird knowing she was related to Splinter, though even if she didn't care, it was like he was disrespecting his sensei.

Then he met, you.

(Y/n).

The girl who fell from the skies.

Leo saved you as you fell from one of the kraang portals that appeared out of nowhere, you were battered and bruise, Donnie totally thought you were a goner.

Then you took a breath.

They rushed you to the lair to care for you, when you woke up, you were completely unfaze to them. That's when they learn you weren't from their universe but another universe of them. Thanks to Donnie's technology and skills you were able to live in their world like you've been born there and lived there, you were sad knowing Splinter has passed on but happy as you gained a new family.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Today was the third year in this new world, you were walking in the streets on New York holding your nephew's hand as he giggles and squeals every time he steps on the puddle. It was slightly raining out today and you thought you'd give your girl a break from motherhood and decided to take you nephew, Alex for ramen.

You entered through the alleyway and lifted the manhole, carefully carrying your nephew you climbed down. You hummed listening to him babbling as you entered the lair, you called out for Leo as he greeted you with a kiss when another kraang portal opens.

Leo places his arms out to you, covering you in case you were sucked in when a familiar bunch of people landed on the living room groaning in pain. You placed your hand on Leo's arm, the other holding Alex tightly.

"Everyone okay?" Raph shouts rushing out of the kitchen with Mona following.

"We heard a crash- who is that?" Hailey asks following Mona out once she saw a pile of people in the living room.

"GUYS, GUYS THERE'S A KRAANG- Oh nevermind" Donnie paused seeing the pile.

You placed Alex down as you patted Leo's arm in comfort, you appraoched the pile of people and mutants stopping closely by them.

You muttered, "You're here"

#tmnt x reader #crossover #tmnt #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt leo

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tojiscumdumpster · 1 year ago

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CHAPTER ELEVEN- TOJI

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

Life has really been fucking with me these last six weeks. Work’s hell. The apartment we live in went up by four hundred dollars. And to make matters worse, Megumi and I have been rockier than ever.

That’s the thing that’s bothering me the most.

It’s over simple shit, too.

I try my best to be a laid back parent and only go full on dad mode when needed, but I think the kid has taken advantage of that. All I ask is three things from Megumi:

Don’t get into fights, and if you do, don’t get caught.

School night curfew is eight. Weekends are eleven.

And lastly, tell me your whereabouts.

But what does he do instead? Miss curfew. Leave the house without telling me where he’s going, and now he’s on a two week-suspension from school since he got into a fight.

Grant it the fight was justify because some kids were fucking with him and talking shit about his lack of English, but shit, Megumi.

At least he won.

One side of me was saying that’s my boy, and the other side had to ground him.

Let’s just say he wasn’t too happy with me after that.

I’m surprised he actually listened to me, though. But with him listening, I’ve been getting the silent treatment, no eating meals together, and been avoided like I’m the plague.

Parenting is not a walk in the park, I know that. Especially when you’re a single parent. When times like this hit, I think of my late wife more than ever.

With her death anniversary right around the corner, I can’t help but miss her and wish she was by my side.

I can’t do this shit alone. I was not raised in a loving environment, and considering the fact that my old man was an abusive drunk that used me as his punching bag, I damn sure don’t know what the fuck it feels like to have a father.

A mom? Don’t know either. Old man wasn’t faithful and was sleeping around with different women, so my mom could be dead or alive. Who knows?

My late wife knew all of this, not the severity, but she knew I had a shitty family. Yet she managed to see something good in a motherfucker like me, to the point we had a kid together.

A kid that fucking hates me. And I’m the only one to blame.

God, maybe I should listen to Kong for once. I’m forty-two. Shit, maybe it is time to settle down and look for a housewife. Someone who’s willing to help raise a fifteen-year-old boy.

No, what the fuck am I saying? Since when do I listen to that fucker?

Never. I trust him, though. Hell, do I really have a choice since he helped me take care of Megumi when I was going through my episodes in the early years of my wife’s death?

But my kid is my responsibility. Getting a woman involved isn’t going to help my relationship with Megumi. That’s some shit I need to fix myself.

Kong and I have one unorthodox ass relationship, but he’s the only bastard I actually consider a friend, and I know he means well.

He is Megumi’s godfather after all. Besides, the last thing I want to do is to ever make Megumi feel like I’m trying to replace his mom. Far from it.

Maybe loneliness is just catching up to my old ass.m, and the only woman I think of breaking me from my no relationship rule is Y/N.

Y/N fucking L /N.

That woman drives me insane in more ways than one.

After our first date over a month ago, we’ve been talking nonstop. Texting. Calling. Casual dates every now and there when time allows us. If I’m being real, Y/N is the only reason why I haven’t ripped my fucking hair out.

People would usually turn to alcohol to depend on the burning sensation it gives you to get drunk when feeling stressed. But me? Y/N is who I get drunk off of. Her energy is fucking addicting, and the reassurance she gives me… who know I needed so much of it.

Like any other man, I don’t turn to anyone to help with my problems. I’m a prideful motherfucker who has the ego the size of a galaxy. However, I don’t have to be the way around Y/N. I sound sappy as shit, I know.

Guess that’s what happens when you become vulnerable.

The only reason why I haven’t had sex with her yet.

I know myself. When I was younger, I only saw sex as a way to make extra cash when I was struggling after I got disowned by the Zen’in. The older I got, sex became more meaningless to me. I can be balls deep in pussy, no matter how good it is, and have no type of feelings attached. Me making a woman come or them making me come doesn’t mean I’ll start buying them roses and shit.

It wouldn’t be the same with Y/N.

Not saying I’m on the verge of falling in love with her, let alone loving her. But seeing how much we talk, how jealous I fucking get, especially after figuring out she works at the same school as her ex-fiancé, I don’t want any other fucker to even breathe the same air as her.

Not even myself, but I’ll still be selfish enough to do it.

That’s the thing about Y/N. I feel myself growing more selfish when it comes to her. I want her time and energy to only be for me. She’s mine without her knowing and I’m planning on keeping it that way. I can admit that’s probably a dick move, but I can’t find myself falling in love again.

At least, I’m forcing myself not to.

Hearing her moan my name. Seeing her face when she comes. Knowing what it feels to have that sweet, tight, warm fucking pussy clench around my fingers. I’ll become a starved and possessive man the moment she’s like that around my dick.

I’ll catch feelings.

I’ll want her above me, beneath me, all over me twenty-four-seven. I’m not an easy lover. I can admit to that.

But that won’t stop me from…

No, I won’t say that.

It’s strong. Whatever emotion I feel about Y/N, and I can’t help but think it has something to do with her being so damn familiar. The more I talk to her, the more I know who she is. Maybe in another lifetime I’ve loved her before.

Even saying that in my head sounds crazy as shit. The dreams about her aren't helping, either.

“Get a hold of yourself, Fushiguro,” I mutter to myself. I look at the time to see it’s eleven thirty. “She should be on her free hour right now.”

Maybe a phone call wouldn’t hurt.

“I’m busy,” I grunt.

I couldn’t even call Y/N before Kong called me to fucking be clingy. He claims he only calls me to check on the kid, but Megumi has his own phone.

“Mad because I’m not your girlfriend? Sorry, I had you first, Fushiguro.” I hear him puffing out smoke from his cigarette. “Be grateful you have a fucking friend to check on you, you fucking jackass.”

I chuckle, sarcastically saying, “Awe, I consider myself very lucky.”

“Fuck you.”

“Sorry, not interested,” I replied. And this is what I mean by unorthodox friendship. “Assuming you got some information for me?” After that Zen’in fuck purchased the club ownership last month, I had Kong do some digging for me.

All the bullshit he was spewing about Naobito forcing everyone in that family who doesn’t have a kid, to have one, and taking interest in finding Megumi, I couldn’t take shit like that lightly.

Not when my kid is potentially involved.

Knowing how those Zen’ins’ get down, they always find a way to get what they want. Even if it results in blood.

“I found some files about that Naoya shitface you told me about… Looks like he’s the real deal,” he says.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning he is your cousin. Looks like your old man’s brother had some unwanted kids of his own.”

“Having kids in the family just to leave them dry is a fucking ritual in that shitty ass family.” I get up from bed and go to the kitchen to grab a ginger ale. “What else you find out?”

“Zen'in owns half of the real estate in Tokyo,” he tells me, clicking his tongue. “Those bastards keep growing and growing by the minute. So if what this Naoya is saying is true, I can only imagine Naobito is doing this to have the city fear the name Zen’in, even after he’s six feet under.”

I scoff. “For an ego stroker? So what the fuck does this have to do with my kid?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know?”

Over my dead fucking body if they think they could come even twenty feet near Megumi. I have no problem going back to that violent lifestyle that I’m trying to escape when it comes to protecting my kid.

Actually, I’m hoping that they do because I’ve been itching for a stress relief and permanently getting rid of those Zen’in fucks just might be the way to do it.

Maybe I should pay them a visit on my trip to Japan in a few months.

I run my hand through my hair and sigh. “Alright. Keep me posted.” An incoming call comes through and I see Y/N’s name flashing my screen. “Gotta go.”

“Your girlfriend’s callin-” I disconnected our line before he finished his bullshit to answer Y/N.

“I’m so close to fucking pulling these braids out and choking my boss with them.” Ha, that’s a funny way to say hello.

“I’m trying to wrap my head around why hearing you threaten to kill someone is turning me on?” I tease.

She lets out a soft breath. “I’m sorry, big guy. Work is being a pain in my ass right now.”

“I see that. You cursed twice. That’s something expected from me.”

“Well, it’s kind of inevitable when you’re a high school teacher,” she argues. “And actually, no. I expect four curse words in under a minute from you. So I think my two words will be alright.”

I smile while walking back to my room and close the door behind me. “Talk to me, sweets. What’s going on?”

“Other than finding out that my name was unknowingly submitted to take part in the state’s teachers summit, nothing really.”

“Is it that bad?”

“No. It’s actually a good opportunity to voice your concerns as a teacher to the school board, but quite frankly, I’m tired of going. Only one teacher is selected every year to represent each school in the county and it’s always me.”

“And what is this summit shit? Why do they need teacher representatives?” I hear her smile through the phone when she explains the summit, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of me cursing already. “Probably this isn’t what you want to hear, but I can see why you’re always chosen. You speak your mind well, and I can see the passion you have when it comes to your students.”

“Well, yeah, but every teacher should be that way,” she counters. “And the summit this year is four hours away from us, so they made it a weekend convention. A weekend, Toji?”

I arch my brow. “And who submitted your name?” Her silence tells me my answer. “You sure this fucker isn’t trying to win you back? Abusing his power as your boss to get you to himself for the weekend seems like a man move I probably would’ve done, too.”

“You would?” she incredulously asks.

“When it comes to you? Absolutely. Zero questions asked.” I can almost guarantee the silence from her again is because she’s blushing, something I find fucking adorable about her. “You there, Miss L/N?”

“Toji, I’m at work,” she answers.

“Admitting that your mind is in the gutter?”

“I-uh, no. Just reminding you to get your head out of it.”

I tip my head back and laugh. “Cute. So when’s the summit?”

“In three months.”

“And you can’t pull out?”

“Unfortunately, no. Unless I can prove that it’s due to a medical or family emergency, I’m out of luck.” No doubt in my mind that her ex pulled this shit intentionally. I mean, I get it. If I lost someone like Y/N as my fiancée, I would be going through hell and back until she was mine again.

But too bad for this fucker that isn’t the case anymore, and I don’t tread lightly when it comes to people fucking with what’s mine.

Mine, that’s exactly what Y/N is.

“I’m way too hungry for this crap,” she says, pulling me from my possessive musings.

“And you didn’t eat because?”

“Someone kept me up last night on the phone, so I overslept and couldn’t get a decent breakfast before work this morning.”

I chuckle, remembering our two a.m. conversations that turned into her masturbating while I was talking her through it. “I’m sure that person is sorry.”

“Doubt it.”

I look at the time again to see it’s noon. “What time is your free hour over?”

“One. Why?”

“Grab lunch with me.”

She playfully hums to consider my last minute invitation. “I guess I can squeeze you in.”

“Squeeze me in?” I mock her response while laughing. “Appreciate it, Miss L/N.”

“I’m sure you can find a way to show me your appreciation.”

I smirk. “Forgot you were at work?”

“Whatever, Mr. Fushiguro. Text me the address and I’ll meet you there.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you,” is the last thing I say before disconnecting the call.

Smiling to myself like a fucking lovesick idiot knowing that I’m about to see Y/N has me surprised myself. Like I said earlier, this woman drives me insane.

And I think I’ll grow to not mind it.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

no discussion question this chapter. but would love to hear your thoughts ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

#anime x black!reader #anime x reader #toji x reader #toji fushigro x reader #toji x black reader #toji fushiguro x black reader #jjk x reader #jjk x black reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x black reader #toji angst #jjk angst

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biaonww · 1 year ago

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"13th of december". nanami based • angst & death.

may contain errors, similar content is coincidental.

december finally came.

it’s crazy how 11 months pass by so quick..

today was december 13. the anniversary, and the day it all ended with your first love, nanami kento.

did you guys end badly? no, in any way, things ended beautifully.

you confessed at the beach while it was snowing, and our last moments together before he left was at the same snowing beach. but still, there was just this gut feeling-

that you both knew that you guys weren’t going to last that long. plus, he needed to go to shibuya.

but he promised he’d meet you again in the same spot the two of you only know. no one else knew, but you two did.

so he gave a promise ring.

after he left to do the mission though.. the two of us just grew apart and lost contact, and simply stopped trying.

as a naive girl in her late 20s, it did hurt. it hurts knowing that you're just clinging on something that was meant to fall apart.

but looking back, that’s just how life is.

nonetheless, you still find yourself in that same beach.

it’s still snowing.

there’s a couple over there who seem so happy together. the boy exactly had the same glint kento had for you, the look of love.

winter, spring, autumn— no scratch that, every season felt colder without him.

it’s sad that you and him never went to malaysia. he would’ve loved it there.

you still wear the same promise ring he gave. it’s a shame, he never came home after shibuya.

it seems like you two will never be mrs. and mr. no matter how much his friends teased him and you about marriage, huh?

you wish you cherished your first love much more, so you stay here, stuck reminiscing about him. - fin.

oh this fr sucks STOP ME. but this was a quick drabble & my first time posting smth here on tumblr, so hope its good enough to be posted (honestly kinda insecure ab it but anyways) !! snow on the beach ref. + based on me & my ex's anniversary, if you know me, no you do not (sobs) if this goes well maybe i'll release my other drabble ab sae itoshi...

#jjk #jjk x reader #nanami kento #nanami x reader #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen #flop post #jujutsu nanami #nanami x you #kento nanami angst #nanamin

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taeraecore · 2 years ago

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one last time

pairing: late!hanbin x gn!reader

summary: before your big and special day, you wanted to get a few things off your chest and have one last chat with your ex-lover

genre: angst, drabble

word count: 0.4k words

warnings: death (cause of not mentioned)

notes: i decided to drop this semi-old draft because i was eager to post something. i’m in my last weeks of school so i’ll be super busy but i’ve started writing and brainstorming some of your guys requests, wait for me lovelies. 😁

all the preparations before your wedding day were close to be being complete but, you had one last important thing to do, which had to be specifically done by tonight.

your partner would have gotten suspicious if they heard what your plans were so, you lied and told them you had last-minute plans with guests attending tomorrow.

what you were actually doing was visiting your hometown one last time. you didn’t realize how quick the drive was until you noticed your surroundings were becoming more familiar.

the sun was starting to disappear from the sky by the time you made it to your old high school. the trees in front were in blossom, just like the first time you two met. your nose started to sting from your eyes tearing up but you were still smiling while wiping away your tears. you made a promise to yourself to leave everything you wanted to forget in the past and you saved the hardest for last.

you visited one last place, a place that gets many visitors. you took a seat on a random patch of grass, admiring the last of him. around your neck was a heart locket necklace, the one he gave you on your sixth-month anniversary. inside was the last picture you had of him.

by now your smile was wiped gone and your vision was completely blurred with tears. it was getting late, you took the locket in your hand and spoke.

“i’m getting married tomorrow and i guess it would be selfish to keep this while being married to someone else. i just…wanted to talk to you while watching the sunset together one last time.

i thank fate for putting us together, even if our time together was nowhere near enough.

before you, i didn’t know it was possible to fall in love with your partner more than once, but when i look back at all the times we laughed, bickered, or coexisted beside each other, i realized i fell in love with you a countless amount of times.

i will always love everything about you and everything that came from you. you were close to perfection to me, your personality, your confidence, your love for everyone and everything, your patience, how you treated strangers, and the list could keep going on forever.

i would consider it a blessing to be one of your close ones and to be loved by you. i will never forgive the world for taking you away so early. maybe in another life we got to live happily ever after, and own thirteen cats like you always wanted.

i’m sorry for not loving you as much as you loved me. i promise to love you forever, sung hanbin.”

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voxofthevoid · 9 months ago

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Posting Schedule: April & May 2024

I'm merging the months since the April anniversary project has outgrown April rather egregiously. It is funny how I said just last month that I'm cutting down my updates to four a month, and now we have eight each for these two months. But to be fair, the word count is pretty much the same because these are shorter fics (...mostly).

April:

2. Chapter 1/1 of the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself

JJK; goyuu; When Yuuji’s fifteen, Gojou Satoru dies; when Yuuji’s seventeen, Gojou Satoru is born.

6. Chapter 1/1 of (it wasn't hard to realize) love's the death of peace of mind

JJK; goyuu; When a blip in time lands sixteen-year-old Satoru in the future, he finds himself in possession of a cursed object sporting his own eyes and a grieving boy who can’t look away from those eyes.

12. Chapter 1/2 of because the negative sex was born into a bloodline

JJK; kenita; Yuuji makes reasonable assumptions about the handsome man stalking him. Kenjaku gets to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

14. Chapter 1/1 of caught the teacher giving his eyes to a student

JJK; goyuu; Megumi finds out that Gojou’s been giving Yuuji some hands-on sex education.

19. Chapter 1/1 of will we remain stuck in the throat of gods

JJK; sukuita with past!goyuu; A bad breakup isn’t a good excuse to fuck the monster rotting your soul, but Yuuji’s made worse decisions—probably.

23. Chapter 1/1 of this was something you incited, you opened up and invited

JJK; goyuu; Satoru learns why most alphas don’t fuck other alphas.

26. Chapter 1/1 of we can be anything we want to be (make shit up and live it completely)

JJK; goyuu; An offhand comment leads to Yuuji discovering the dubious joys of pet ownership.

30. Chapter 1/1 of this is the wrong story

JJK; goyuu; In a faraway forest enclosed in Brahmic barriers, there’s a boy who loves and hates the world in equal measure.

May

3. Chapter 1/1 of vulgarity (the glory and the virtue died so long ago)

JJK; goyuu; Yuuji’s hormones battle his morals while his half-naked teacher sleeps on his lap.

8. Chapter 1/1 of somebody ought to corrupt you on the dance floor and take you home

JJK; hiita; A wardrobe malfunction drastically alters the aftermath of Yuuji’s fight with Higuruma.

10. Chapter 1/1 of never seen such a pretty wicked thing

JJK; goyuu; Satoru has a late-night philosophical discussion with the King of Curses.

15. Chapter 2/2 of because the negative sex was born into a bloodline

JJK; kenita; Yuuji makes reasonable assumptions about the handsome man stalking him. Kenjaku gets to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

19. Chapter 1/1 of i'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

JJK; goyuu; Satoru’s ward is in that peculiar purgatory between puberty and presentation. He tries to help.

23. Chapter 1/1 of you're like a goddess in disguise (i'm drowning slowly in your eyes)

JJK; fem!goyuu; Yuuji finds religion in her teacher’s tits, violently.

26. Chapter 1/1 of but lover, you're the one to blame

JJK; goyuu; Yuuji acquires a doll that’s sympathetically connected to Satoru. It’s innocent until it isn’t.

31. Chapter 1/7 of i can offer you a black-lit paradise

JJK; itagofushi; Satoru plays favorites with his students in the worst way possible. Megumi suffers, while Yuuji’s oblivious—and horny.

The dates are tentative, the order isn't set in stone, and I am about to become void soup.

If anything's repeated or mismatched, ignore for now. I'll look over this again when these fic titles/dates aren't at risk of setting my eyes on fire.

#posting schedule #goyuu #sukuita #hiita #kenita #itagofushi #vox unhinged

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kjack89 · 1 year ago

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Back to Where We Started (Chapter 1/?)

For @theworldfallsup for my 10 year/4k follower anniversary, who requested a Mr. & Mrs. Smith-type AU.

It's gotten long, so I'm splitting it into multiple chapters, largely to force myself to actually finish it.

E/R, modern AU. CW: Mentioned character death, gun violence, everything you'd expect from an action movie AU.

Cosette offered the two men sitting on the couch in her office a tight smile. “I’m sorry for being late,” she said as she sat down. “My last session ran over.”

“It’s fine,” the blond man sitting on the left assured her with a faint accent she couldn’t quite place.

She nodded, giving them both a quick once-over as she pulled her pad of paper close to her. For as long as she’d been doing this, it would never not surprise her how much she could learn about a couple before they even got into whatever issue had ostensibly brought them in for couple’s therapy. In the case of the two men sitting in front of her, the tension between them was palpable, mostly based on the fact that they were sitting at opposite ends of the couch rather than directly next to her. And based on the way his knee was bouncing at about ninety miles an hour, the darker-haired man was particularly unconvinced that this was going to work.

“So,” she said, “my name is Cosette Fauchelevent. Which one of you is Enjolras?” The blond raised his hand and she smiled at him before switching her gaze to the brunet. “And you must be Grantaire.”

“I assume these incredible deductive reasoning skills explain the exorbitant price we’re paying for this,” Grantaire said in lieu of an answer.

Cosette didn’t so much as blink. “Then let’s get right into it to justify the cost,” she said pleasantly. “What’s wrong with your marriage?”

Both Enjolras and Grantaire stared at her. “Who said something was wrong with it?” Enjolras asked, his brow furrowed.

“Mostly the fact that you’re sitting here,” Cosette said, still pleasant. “But if you’d rather, we can back up a little. How long have you been married?”

“Three years,” Grantaire said.

Cosette nodded. “And how often do you have sex?” This time, she didn’t wait for either of them to protest. “Sex is a cause or symptom of larger issues more often than you might think, so better to get it out in the open.”

Enjolras cleared his throat. “Sex isn’t really our problem,” he muttered, the tips of his ears burning red, as Grantaire crossed and recrossed his legs, studiously avoiding looking at him.

Cosette just nodded again, scribbling a note on her pad of paper. “On a scale of one to ten, how satisfied would you each say you are with your sex life?”

For the first time all session, Enjolras and Grantaire glanced at each other. “Eight,” Enjolras said, and Grantaire looked back at Cosette.

“Wait, is ten the best or is one the best? Like is ten mind-blowing sex every day, and one is bad missionary once every six months, or—?”

“Just answer instinctively,” Cosette said.

Grantaire jerked a nod, looking back at Enjolras. “Ok. Ready?”

“Ready,” Enjolras said.

They both looked at Cosette and said in perfect unison, “Eight.”

Cosette jotted down another note. “And how often do you say ‘I love you’?”

The question was met with a stunned sort of silence. Then, Enjolras leaned forward, his brow furrowed. “I don’t understand the question.”

“Yeah, I’m lost,” Grantaire added quickly. “Is this a one to ten thing?”

“It’s really not,” Cosette said, circling something in her notes. “But how about I make this easier: do you love each other?”

Again, silence.

Cosette let it linger for as long as she personally felt comfortable with before clearing her throat. “Maybe we should back up even further,” she said, keeping her tone as neutral as possible. “Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourselves, like what you do for a living? Sometimes that can be a sore spot between couples.”

Enjolras looked visibly relieved at the change in subjects. “Oh, well, I’m involved in local politics—”

Grantaire snorted derisively. “I think she meant, like, your job.” He glanced at Cosette. “Which is a sore spot, because he doesn’t have one.”

A muscle worked in Enjolras’s cheek. “We’re very fortunate to not need a second income, which allows me to focus on things that matter,” he said, something warning in his tone. “And I don’t know that I’d consider photography a real job, anyway.”

“Is that what you do?” Cosette asked Grantaire, ignoring the murderous look he had just shot Enjolras. “Photography?”

“Yeah,” Grantaire said gruffly. “I used to be a wildlife photographer. Traveled all over: Sub-Saharan Africa, the Middle East, the Korean Peninsula, Siberia—”

Cosette cocked her head. “I wouldn’t think there’d be a lot of wildlife in Siberia,” she remarked.

Something shifted in Grantaire’s expression. “You’d be surprised,” he said before clearing his throat. “Anyway, now I mostly do, like, weddings, senior portraits, stuff like that.”

“I’m sensing that you’re not particularly enthusiastic about the type of photography you’re currently doing.”

Grantaire jerked a shrug. “It’s fine. It’s steady. It’s – well, I mean, it doesn’t quite compare to traveling the world, but…”

He trailed off and Enjolras shifted impatiently in his seat. “But we both agreed that we can do a lot of good right here in this community, right, honey?”

“Absolutely, sweetheart,” Grantaire said, saccharine sweet. “Of course, if it weren’t for traveling, we never would have met, so…”

“Oh, where did the two of you meet?” Cosette asked.

“East Africa,” Enjolras and Grantaire said, again in unison.

Cosette nodded. “Were you on vacation?”

“Something like that.”

Three Years Ago

Enjolras wasn’t naïve about what he looked like, so the fact that he managed to slip unnoticed through the crowded market in Bujumbura spoke to how much effort he’d put into learning how to blend in. It was a necessary survival skill, after all, given his line of work.

It was also a skill put to the test when he overheard a snippet of conversation between two men in police uniforms patrolling the outskirts of the market, and more specifically, the name General Lamarque. Enjolras’s step slowed, and he lingered longer than was wise to overhear what they were saying next, hopeful that it would be about the continued rumblings of revolution that Lamarque was stirring in the former capital city.

Instead, what he heard next made his blood run cold.

“Le Général Lamarque est mort.”

And then: “Assassinat.”

Enjolras was immediately aware that these two were not the only police in the market, and that the police he saw were much more heavily armed than usual. And scanning the crowd as if looking for someone.

He backed away quickly, his heart pounding in his chest as he rapidly thought through every exit strategy he had developed over the past few weeks living in Burundi. But he hadn’t thought that this would happen, at least not this early on, so the vast majority of them wouldn’t work, especially if the police were looking for anyone they could reasonably accuse of being involved.

Like anyone foreign, and traveling alone.

He couldn’t do anything about the former, but he could try to figure something out for the latter.

Plan decided on, he turned on heel and strode back in the direction of city centre and the few hotels in the area, hoping he could find someone friendly. It wasn’t exactly a tourist-heavy part of the world, but there were bound to be a few NGO workers who wouldn’t have been evacuated yet.

He managed to make it inside a hotel lobby before he was stopped by two men in paramilitary uniforms who spoke to him in rapid French. Enjolras only half-listened, looking over their shoulders into the bar he could just see, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he locked eyes with a dark-haired man sitting by himself at the bar.

Not that Enjolras particularly cared at the moment, but the man wasn’t much to look at, though judging by the way his shirt tightened across his chest as he moved, he was well-muscled, and that mattered far more given everything. “Cet homme là,” he said, interrupting the man speaking. “C’est mon ami.”

He didn’t wait to hear what they said, just brushing past them and making a beeline for the man in the bar, who smiled when he approached. “I was wondering when you’d be back,” he said, with a kind of warm familiarity that Enjolras wouldn’t have appreciated under any other circumstance. “I was beginning to think I was going to spend the evening drinking by myself.”

“You’re traveling together?” one of the military officials asked sharply.

“Of course,” the man said, as if it was obvious, and Enjolras thanked whatever higher power might exist that he was rolling with it. “Do you need to see our visas, or…?”

A sudden burst of gunfire came from the street, and the officials exchanged glances. “You should get to your embassy,” one said shortly before they both hurried outside, leaving Enjolras alone with the man who just might have saved his life, or at the very least, kept him out of a Burundi prison cell.

“I hope you don’t think that was, uh, forward of me,” the man said, almost a little sheepishly. “Only the bartender just told me that someone was assassinated and the military police are looking for anyone traveling alone, and then I saw you, and, well, you looked a little desperate, so I just figured—”

“You figured correctly,” Enjolras said, cutting off the man’s ramble. He glanced over his shoulder at the sound of more gunfire. “And while I thank you for your assistance, we should get out of here.”

The man nodded and turned back to the bar, grabbing whatever he’d been drinking it and downing it in a single gulp. “To the embassy?” he asked. Enjolras hesitated, because of course he had absolutely no way of explaining that going to any embassy was as dangerous for him as staying put, but thankfully, the man then offered, “Or I have a connection that was going to take me to Kenya tomorrow anyway, and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind an extra passenger.”

“Are you sure?” Enjolras asked, surprised.

The man shrugged. “He owes me a favor,” he said breezily. “Or ten.” He looked at Enjolras expectantly. “So what do you say?”

Enjolras shrugged as well. “It’s as good a plan as any,” he said, aiming to match the man’s breezy tone.

The man laughed. “Not exactly brimming with enthusiasm, but I’ll take it.” He held his hand out for Enjolras to shake. “My name is Grantaire.”

“Enjolras,” Enjolras said, shaking his hand, but before he could say anything more, there was the sound of a distant explosion. “How would your connection feel about moving our trip up to today?”

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Grantaire said. “I need to grab my bag from upstairs. Do you…?”

“No,” Enjolras said, thinking of his clothes, forged passport and array of weaponry currently stashed in what had been General Lamarque’s camp outside the city. “No, I never travel with anything I can’t afford to leave behind.”

Grantaire smiled at him. “Well,” he said, “just as long as that doesn’t include me.”

Enjolras laughed as well. “Don’t worry,” he said, and it was only after Grantaire had left for his hotel room that Enjolras added, “it absolutely does.”

— — — — —

Three nights later, Enjolras slipped out from under Grantaire’s arm still draped across his waist and held his breath when the other man shifted in his sleep. But Grantaire didn’t stir and Enjolras breathed a sigh of relief before standing and heading over to his bag to grab his satellite phone. He glanced at Grantaire before stepping out onto the balcony, closing the door softly behind him.

Then he called Combeferre.

“Thank God you’re alive,” Combeferre said by way of greeting, and Enjolras half-smiled as he leaned down to rest his elbows on the balcony railing.

“Alive, and made it to Nairobi,” he reported. “Wish I could say the same about Lamarque.”

Combeferre sighed. “I know. It’s a tough loss.”

“Tough?” Enjolras repeated. “It’s going to set back progress in the region by at least a decade.”

“Unfortunately, we’ve got bigger problems than that,” Combeferre said, a little grimly.

“Like what?”

Combeferre cleared his throat. “The Burundi government evidently recovered some of your personal effects, and after connecting your most recent alias to some of your other ones, well…let’s just say you’re being blamed for the assassination. Meaning you’re also now on every terrorist watchlist in the world.” Enjolras had expected as much, not that it made it easier to hear. “Speaking of which, how did you make it all the way to Kenya on your own?”

Enjolras glanced back over his shoulder to make sure Grantaire was still sleeping. “I’m not on my own.”

“You – what?”

This was the part of the conversation that Enjolras had been dreading most. “I met someone,” he said, and when Combeferre was silent, he added, “His name is Grantaire. He’s an American, a wildlife photographer, and he used his connections to get us both out of there.”

“And then you immediately abandoned him in Nairobi, right?” Combeferre asked, and Enjolras could just picture him pinching the bridge of his nose.

Enjolras traced a finger along the balcony railing as he hedged, “Define abandoned.”

“Enjolras.”

“He’s very nice,” Enjolras assured him. “And he thinks he just saved my life.”

“Courfeyrac and I wouldn’t have let—”

“You know that, and I know that, but…”

“But what?” Combeferre demanded, exasperated. “Enjolras, you can’t just sleep with a random American you met in a war zone without us thoroughly vetting him!”

Enjolras made a face. “Tell that to Courfeyrac,” he muttered.

He could practically hear Combeferre roll his eyes. “Courfeyrac doesn’t exactly have the same international profile that you do. And this guy could be CIA, he could be INTERPOL—”

“Or he could be my ticket out of here.”

Combeferre was silent for a moment before asking warily, “What do you mean?”

Enjolras cleared his throat. “I mean, it’ll be, what, three to five years before the heat dies down enough that I can get back to work, right?”

“At least.”

Enjolras nodded. “So I’ll spend the next three to five years with Grantaire,” he said, looking over his shoulder again before telling Combeferre, “He asked me to marry him.”

“He – what?” Combeferre said weakly. “It’s been three days!”

That had more or less been Enjolras’s reaction, though he at least had the benefit of seeing how amazing the sex was before Grantaire asked him the world’s dumbest question. But while Enjolras had demurred at the time, he had also been thinking about it. And now he needed Combeferre on his side. “What can I say, almost dying together has a tendency to accelerate the timeline.”

“Enjolras,” Combeferre said, with the kind of patience a parent used on a misbehaving child, “you can’t marry him.”

Enjolras shrugged. “After a thorough background check, I don’t see why not—”

“Because you are wanted by INTERPOL, the FBI, the CIA, Mossad, Hezbollah, the Russian SVR, NYPD, LAPD, and the Cook County Assessor’s Office for $5,000 in back owed property taxes!”

Combeferre practically shouted the last bit, and Enjolras cocked his head. “I’m pretty sure Courfeyrac added that last one to my file as a joke,” he said mildly, “seeing as how it’s the plot of the Blues Brothers.”

“That’s not the point—”

“No, the point is, I need to lie low until the heat from any and all of those dies down,” Enjolras said, with conviction. “And the sane thing to do is to flee to a non-extradition island somewhere and wait it out.”

“Exactly, the sane thing—”

“And the predictable thing.” Combeferre fell silent and Enjolras paused before asking, “Can you honestly tell me that you think the CIA is going to come looking for me in a suburb in middle America? Let alone Mossad, or the SVR?”

Combeferre sighed, and Enjolras knew he had already won. “I think we can safely assume that the CIA is going to come looking for you wherever they pick up your trail.”

“Then we’ll do whatever we can to make sure I don’t leave one.” Enjolras half-smiled. “Come on, you have to admit, of all the asinine plans we’ve made, this one actually might work.”

“Maybe.” It was Combeferre’s turn to pause, and Enjolras knew he was readying his most convincing argument. “But what happens to Grantaire after three to five years?” Enjolras was silent, and Combeferre sighed again. “I have always supported you, and I’m not going to stop now, but this is a mistake.”

Enjolras shook his head. “I don’t think it is. Combeferre, you know me. You know that I’m not…sentimental. But Grantaire…” He trailed off and shook his head again. “He’s different. No questions, no demands, it’s like he already knows the truth about me and doesn’t care.”

“Then it’s even more of a mistake,” Combeferre said heavily.

“Maybe,” Enjolras echoed. “But the worst that can happen could happen anywhere, with anyone. So why not?”

Combeferre was silent for so long that Enjolras almost checked to make sure the call didn’t drop. Then, reluctantly, he said, “I’ll talk to Courfeyrac. We’ll get started on the arrangements. Let me know when you’re back stateside.”

“Thank you,” Enjolras said softly. He hung up and turned the phone over in his hands, removing the SIM card with practiced fingers before casually dropping the phone off of the balcony.

And just in time, as moments later, Grantaire stepped out onto the balcony, yawning widely. “What are you doing up?” he asked sleepily, wrapping his arms around Enjolras waist from behind and dropping a kiss onto his bare shoulder.

Enjolras turned to face him. “Couldn’t sleep,” he said. “I was thinking about what you asked me.”

Hesitation flickered across Grantaire’s expression. “I know it’s only been a few days—”

“Yes.”

Grantaire blinked. “Yes – yes what?”

Enjolras smiled. “Yes, I will marry you.”

A grin spread slowly across Grantaire’s face. “Seriously?” he breathed, and when Enjolras nodded, he let out a whoop before pulling Enjolras close and kissing him. “You’re not going to regret this, I promise.”

“I know,” Enjolras told him, closing his eyes as Grantaire pulled him in again.

He’d had worse covers, after all.

And how bad could three to five years of marriage be?

>>Read Part 2>>

#exr #enjolras x grantaire #enjoltaire #grantaire #enjolras #cosette #fanfiction #les miserables #mr and mrs smith au #spies and assassins and suchforth

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thephoebeyates · 3 months ago

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para002

tw: emotional abusive relationships, graphic imagery of a near death experience, pregnancy/birth complications, self deprecating thoughts, anxiety, depression (this is a flashback thread with Lisa and Spencer, what else do you expect)

They're singing, "Happy Birthday" You just wanna lay down and cry

For all intents and purposes as Phoebe awoke that morning, it was just another Monday. Well, she had once again fallen victim to the peace and serenity sleep brought her, still hoping the last month had been some horrific nightmare, where she’d roll over and find Foster there and everything would be fine. But, aside from that, just another day.

She watched the sun flit through the cheap, thin curtains as she laid in bed until Misty’s mewling was impossible to ignore. She fed the cat, made herself some coffee, and watched as the first notifications of the day popped up.

One thing was certain in life. Jeanie Ramachandran was always going to be the first one to post a birthday story for Phoebe, no matter how many times the birthday girl in question had complained. There was a few years where the bartender hadn’t take into account the time difference of where she was traveling to Illinois, which left a lot of people confused on when Phoebe’s date of birth was exactly, and she couldn’t help but admit that the best birthday gifts were that of confused texts from friends and acquaintances apologizing for being a day too late or too early.

Still, she got the notification that Jeanie had added her to her Instagram story, but didn’t click on it, watching her phone curiously to see if two specific people would contact her today. Her mom was unpredictable in every sense of the word, and Foster…

She told him she’d reach out first. What was she supposed to do; text him ‘hey I’m ready to talk now. BTW its my birthday’? Phoebe would rather gouge her eyes out with a spoon.

Still, she opened up her text history with Lisa, the last few on Phoebe’s end going undelivered which meant her mom likely disconnected her number and was starting afresh somewhere new. It wasn’t like she’d forget Phoebe’s birthday: the worst day of Lisa Yates’ life. But whether she’d break no-contact with her daughter was anyone’s guess.

12 years ago. Phoebe’s 18th birthday.

“It’s upsetting me you’re not doing a party, Bee. You’re eighteen.” Lisa whined from her usual place on the couch. Douglas had just broken up with her, now his ex-wife was single again. True love never meant to be broken apart, Phoebe assumed. And Lisa just liked an excuse to wear her bathrobe at all hours of the day.

“Who’d come to my party, Mom? You, Linc, Seb, Jeanie —,” She paused, staring at her mother incredulously. “Not exactly a big birthday blowout.”

Lisa scoffed. “Oh, please. You have more friends than that. C’mon, I can get the invitations sent out today.”

“It’s Sunday, Mom. The post office isn’t exactly open.” She had finished packing her bag for the day, the dusty blue polo shirt of her Gulp ‘n’ Go uniform being her designated birthday outfit to ring in eighteen years. “Now I’m going to work, but I’ll be back later.” And she kissed Lisa on the forehead, prepared to have a normal day.

Upon returning home, the darkness setting over the small Weaver Ridge apartment with the exception of the neon lights of Gulp ‘n’Go guiding Phoebe jimmying the lock slightly before throwing her body weight into the door to get it open. She stumbled into the darkened living room, clutching the small store bought cake that she was sure was stale, but it was the only one the gas station had. Lisa was still sitting on the couch, just where Phoebe had left her, an empty bottle of red wine on the coffee table, a fresh one just being opened.

“Hey.” Phoebe murmured, keeping her distance, trying to gauge which drunk Lisa she was getting. It most likely wasn’t the happy-go lucky party girl most people associated with her, which meant…

“Here’s to the anniversary of when I almost died!” Lisa slurred, holding up her wine glass, red wine splashing carelessly from the rim.

“Mom..” It was a story she heard every year. Sometimes it was painted in a more forgiving light, and others like now, it was like Phoebe deliberately made her entrance to the world a difficult and painful one.

“Just sixteen, barely lived. And you, fucking hell. You had the cord wrapped around your neck, and a really weak heartbeat, and never mind I was gushing out blood like I had an unlimited supply of it.” She sneered at Phoebe, who just stood there numbly. “And I remember begging God to let me live, let us both live. And I’d provide you with a great life.” Lisa managed to stand, stumbling over to her daughter. Phoebe tried hard to blink back the tears.

“The worst day of my life, and you’re too selfish to even honor that with a fucking party.” The smell of wine on her hot breath made Phoebe’s stomach churn. “Happy birthday, Bee.” And with a shoulder check, stormed off to her bedroom.

Phoebe stood there numbly, taking a few deep breaths, before dumping the cake in the trash and just heading to bed, preparing for tomorrow to be a truly normal day.

Blinking out of her thoughts, Phoebe closed the text history with Lisa, deciding it was probably better to not hear from her mother, and after confirming to Jeanie she was definitely going to meet her later and not bail, showered and got dressed. The only good thing about Mondays was that it was Phoebe’s day off from the paper, and with her internship ending soon, she had no qualms about going in the remainder of the week either. She had a connection, had emailed her manuscript over to a potential agent who’d possibly take her on as a client. It was just the matter of finding something else to do with her day.

If her and Foster survived it, would he have done something? She had no doubt he’d have respected her wishes to keep things lowkey, but she couldn’t help but mourn the potential loss of the birthday of a woman in a happy relationship, rather than the single thirty year old who barely felt like she was out of her teens. At least, a small voice told her, it was better than any birthday she was forced to spend with Spencer…

7 years ago. Phoebe’s 23rd birthday.

They hadn’t been dating that long. Only meeting a few months ago when he came by chance to O’Shea’s, and Phoebe served him the wrong drink by accident. After that, Spencer came by every Friday night to ask her out. He was charming, good looking, but she had been hesitant. However, one night she agreed, and the rest was history.

The thing was, Spencer was maybe too nice. He never let Phoebe have a bad word to say about herself, any self-deprecating jokes regarding her writing or playing immediately shut down. “Y’know you shouldn’t say those things about yourself,” He had pointed out one day, “I don’t like it. You wouldn’t like it if I said those things about me, would you?” And she had to admit she wouldn’t. But maybe after two decades of her mom’s backhanded compliments and ability to fly off the handle at any given moment, Phoebe was finally waiting for Spencer, and should have just quelled her anxiety that the other shoe looming over her threateningly was going to drop.

Then she turned twenty-three. And the shoe dropped hard.

It had been her usual routine. She’d wake up, there’d be a post from Jeanie and other texts from her friends. Her mom would douse her in attention and bitch and moan that Phoebe wasn’t throwing a party, and that she wanted to shout from the rooftops that her baby girl was born twenty-three years today! But Phoebe wanted a normal day. She had the rare weekend off from O’Shea’s, and wanted to spend time with Spencer who, by her own design, had no idea what the date meant.

But all day he was off with her, like he couldn’t have thought of anything worse than spending time with his…well, they hadn’t exactly put a label on it yet, but Phoebe assumed with the way things were going it wouldn’t be long until they were boyfriend and girlfriend. It wasn’t until they came back to his apartment, a large chrome inspired place in the nice part of Cardinal Hill, when he took out his phone showing a screenshot of Jeanie’s birthday wishes to Phoebe, and slid it over to her.

“Do you know how embarrassing it was for me to find out this way?” He asked, and Phoebe immediately felt guilt wash over her.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I just…my birthday isn’t a big deal to me, and uh, we’ve only been seeing each other for a few months so..” She tried to explain, and Spencer had the audacity to scoff in her face.

“No, I get it Phoebe. You don’t think I’m important enough. God, to think what amazing plans you must have canceled out on to slum it with me.” He shook his head. “I bet your friends will think I’m such an asshole for not getting you a gift. For not even saying it to you!”

“They won’t think that, they know I’m…look, it’s just a day.” She tried to reason, heart palpitating at the idea of upsetting him further. “I…I can make it up to you. We can go for dinner, or…do something tomorrow, maybe?”

He looked at her with utter contempt, shaking his head. “I think I should just drop you off home.” And that’s what he did, the car ride silent, Phoebe feeling like a monster for not disclosing her birthday to him. Her mom had set up more balloons since that morning, and even got Phoebe a cake from Walmart, and she held back tears the entire night.

When she woke up the next morning, she had a text from Spencer inviting her over. She tentatively did, scared things would end before they even really began, being met instead with a large balloon arch, the biggest cake she ever seen, and a small pile of gifts.

“I’m sorry about yesterday, I was just upset you felt like you had to keep it from me. I was worried you thought I was someone who’d feel…inconvenienced or something.” He said, pulling her in for a kiss. “I’m never not going to make you feel like your birthday isn’t a big deal ever again…”

If only she knew what the next four years of birthdays would bring.

Her morning flew by quickly, though she was tense to leave on the off-chance Foster dropped by. But she left it for as long as she did to go for her pre-made plans she couldn’t exactly cancel, returning home with a couple of hours to spare in getting ready for whatever Jeanie had planned for her.

Whatever it was, she could handle it. She was still a living, breathing person after what Elijah had gifted to her, and she knew the excitement would sink in after the shock and the exhaustion of her birthday was past her.

Still, she came home, sorting through her closet to find something suitable, eyes falling on the gift box. Nine whole months it had been shoved in there, the vaguely festive wrapping paper collecting dust. Phoebe had strategically hidden it behind Foster’s stuff when he had first moved in, but without his pants and coats hung up, it was there hiding in plain sight, staring at her in the face.

She pulled it out and placed it on the bed, tearing it open and lifting the box flaps, letting out a soft gasp at what was inside.

2004. Phoebe’s 10th birthday.

“Mommy, mommy! Look!” When her mom had asked Phoebe what she wanted to do today, letting her skip school to celebrate her birthday, all the little girl wanted to was spend time with her mom. Lisa opted to take them to Chicago for the day, letting Phoebe into boutiques, music stores, and even had plans to visit one of the museums after lunch.

They were currently in a small second-hand bookstore, and Phoebe stared hungrily at what was on offer on the small, rickety shelves. The kindly old man was patient with all of her questions, and she had stumbled upon the best thing she had even seen.

A three-piece collection of Alice in Wonderland, The Wizard of Oz, and Peter Pan.

“Oh, they’re a bit young for you, aren’t you?” Lisa questioned with a patient smile, as Phoebe held up the books. “Like, baby, you have an advanced reading level — your teacher even said — you don’t wanna waste time with children’s books.”

“But mom, look at them. They’re like really special.” Phoebe defended, her big brown eyes watering. Lisa, to her credit, did take the box holding the books in her hands, studying each angle, eyes landing on the price tag.

“I’m sorry, Bee. I would, but they’re just…so expensive. For books! C’mon, I can get you a pretty new birthday dress next door for the same price.” They thanked the man for his time, and Phoebe hesitantly put the set down, and no matter how many times she returned to that store over the years — to any second hand store in the greater Illinois area — Phoebe was convinced she had lost those books forever.

There, staring at her in the box, was the exact same collection set she had stumbled upon twenty years ago. All three stories of a little girl going to a magical land, all three stories about her somehow, some way finding her way home again.

There was no note, no clever sentence tying Oz, Wonderland or Neverland into Blue Harbor or what Phoebe sacrificed in her last thirty years. She didn’t know if it was an apology, or somehow Lisa proving that no matter what, she did care and listen to what her daughter wanted. All Phoebe could do was leave the books on her bed as she got ready.

She didn’t cry, not even when she accidentally jabbed her mascara brush in her eye. Just plastered on her best ‘I can’t believe you’ve done this but thank you anyway’ smile, and decided, that maybe once, celebrating her birthday didn’t have to be such a fucking hardship.

#self.para #para002 #e.30thbday #emotional abuse tw #birth complication tw #anxiety tw #depression tw

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only-lonely-stars · 9 months ago

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A Bride for the Prince (Prologue)

[Prologue - you are here!] // [Chapter 1 of 9] – (FFN) (AO3)

Part of the @ninjago-fairy-tale-au!

Summary:

Once upon a time, there lived a faithful and hardworking girl named Pixal Borg, who worked every day to satisfy her demanding stepmother. For years, she cleaned and cooked, giving no argument, until the day came when she met the prince. A Pixane Cinderella retelling.

Chapter summary:

Pixal Borg, daughter of Cyrus Borg, was the only heir to a lush estate... until they day her stepmother decided to get in the way.

Once upon a time, there lived a happy family in the Central Commonwealth within the realm of Ninjago. There was a father, a mother, and a lone daughter; the Borgs. They loved each other deeply and dearly, putting each other's needs before their own, and were envied by all who knew them.

As time passed, however, it became clear to everyone that their family was imperfect. The father, Cyrus, was an inventor who often worked late into the night by candlelight. The mother, Astrid, slowly became sickly and weak, confined to bed due to her weakness. Due to these circumstances, their daughter Pansy took it upon herself to run their household.

For several years, it seemed as if Astrid's sickness would come and go, leaving her slightly worse every time it faded. Eventually, however, it took her to death's door. It was at that time that she called Pansy to her side, that she might say her last goodbyes, even as Cyrus worked tirelessly to find a cure.

When Pansy at last came to her mother's bedside, Astrid took her hands. "My dearest daughter, my brightest star. You are but a pixel in the sky, but you shine with the light of faithfulness. Thank you for caring for me so well."

Pansy cried, wiping her tears away just as she shed them. "Mother, won't you recover? Father swears he's finally found a way."

"Not this time." Astrid struggled to sit up and pressed a kiss to Pansy's forehead. "My daughter, you must be good for your father. Be faithful, and the First Master will always take care of you. I will watch over you from the next life; you will never be alone."

Later that night, Astrid breathed her last. Pansy cried unceasingly for weeks. In her mother's memory, she decided she would no longer live by the name of Pansy; instead, she would be Pixal, shining faithfully despite all hardship.

After his wife's death, Cyrus lapsed into a deep despair. He would neither sleep nor eat as he should. More than once, Pixal had to beg him to care for himself. For months his sorrow was inexpressable. He prayed, he cried, and he lived on. Eventually, however, he began to be able to cope with their loss.

One day as Cyrus was wandering their town's market, he came across a beautiful woman and her two daughters, shopping for clothing. He introduced himself, and they began a friendship. Before much time had passed, they decided to court. The woman, Amaryllis, was a widow who sought financial stability, especially for her daughters Begonia and Columbine, while Cyrus desired companionship, that Pixal might have a mother again. It seemed like a perfect solution to all involved.

Eleven months after Astrid's death, Cyrus and Amaryllis were married. Their courtship had been beautiful, as was the ceremony, and not a single eye was dry as they spoke their vows. Pixal thought that she would have a beautiful relationship with every one of her new family members, and the future looked bright to all.

Unfortunately, when the anniversary of his first wife's death arrived, Cyrus lapsed once more into his sorrow. He delved into his work to cope, avoiding every obligation. Once again, he worked by candle light to finish his many inventions, in the hope that they could bring him out of his despair. He could not revive his wife, but if he could provide perfectly for his new family, perhaps he would feel saved.

When Amaryllis saw how Cyrus still cared about his first wife, however, she was filled with rage. Begonia and Columbine were likewise angered, as they had hoped their new father would spoil them with attention and gifts, but instead he holed himself up in his workroom. Pixal, for her part, simply went about her life as she had prior, for her new sisters never lifted a finger to help with the housework, as she always had to aid their hired help. Her relationship with her new sisters became strained. In thinking that she thought she was a more righteous girl than them, Begonia and Columbine began to torment her, giving her ever more work to do and telling the maids that it was Pixal's doing. As Pixal slowly took on more chores, Amaryllis began to join in.

As the years passed, life only devolved for the Borgs, even as Cyrus found success in his inventions. Under his unsuspecting eye, Pixal slowly became akin to a maid, while Amaryllis, Begonia, and Columbine began to treat themselves like queens. He took long business trips, often traveling to the farthest corners of their kingdom to sell his inventions. However, Pixal never wavered, committed to her promise to her mother. Faithful until the end, she held her head high, despite wearing rags smudged with cinders, determined to be the daughter her mother raised.

#ninjago #ninjago pixal #ninjago zane #pixal borg #zane julien #pixane #ninjago fanfiction #OLST fanfic #OLST writing #ninjago fairy tale au #a bride for the prince

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amberjazmyn · 6 months ago

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always with me 💔

pairing : max verstappen x fem!reader, lando norris x fem!reader, oscar piastri x fem!reader & charles leclerc x fem!reader

summary : with the lyrics of westlife's song "always with me" we will see four of the f1 grid drivers (m.verstappen, l. norris, o. piastri and c. leclerc) or their partner deal with someone they love pass away, a verse or line or two of the song describing it

warnings : tears, death, mentions of f1 death, mentions of terminal illnesses and dodgy google translations

a/n : this is going to be written in the same format as the last one-shot since i loved that so much. the lyrics in bold italics and everything else will be in normal font and lowercase. and as a disclaimer, what i have written is not to sensationalise or capatalise on any of the real-life deaths talked about whilst fake deaths will also be talked about. it is awful that real-life crashes have occured during an f1 race, this is just a work of fiction with real-life elements to make the storyline make more sense.

max verstappen:

we share our life together, built our dreams forever, this much i know that is true. but i'd give anything to see your smile again and have just one more dance with you

you and max had shared everything together, from sharing the same dreams to just sharing the simple things of life with one another. however, that was no longer going to happen. a couple of months ago, just short of your three-month wedding anniversary, you passed away from a terminal illness and it completely blindsided both you and your new husband, max. of course it did, no one had expected you to become so ill but, you did and there was nothing that could have stopped it nor could have possibly prevented it from killing you. because it had been detected so late, it was already at the stage of being completely incurable, and not even chemotherapy or any other kind of therapy was able to help prevent it.

tears streamed down max's face as he sat himself down at the new gravestone that had just been put up for you. max verstappen was a well-known formula 1 driver with red bull and right now, he would be driving the british grand prix at silverstone but right now, he had graciously been given bereavement leave by red bull, which was why he was still in the netherlands, at the cemetery where his wife would forever lay. placing the bouquet of flowers on your headstone, max leaned back, sitting back down, grateful that the grass wasn't wet from any rain that was supposedly meant to come through the day before. this was a regular thing for max to do since getting his paid bereavement leave, come down to the cemetery and visit your gravestone. sometimes he'd stay for as short as five minutes to as long as one time he didn't leave the cemetery until it was two minutes from the gate's closing time. but, today, it was obvious for max that today wasn't going to be a day he'd want to stay too long. it was too painful for him to stay any longer than an hour because, for some reason, today was not the best day for him and he just couldn't fathom why.

max sighed, wiping his tears away as he immediately thought up his favourite things about you. saying them in dutch since he remembers just how much you loved it when he'd speak dutch to you. the thing he loved the most about you was your smile. your smile was his favourite thing about you. he was envious of how bright and happy it always was. he then suddenly snickered softly after a memory passed through his mind. the memory wasn't anything too big or dramatic but, it was just a small memory that he wishes he could have held onto forever. it was at your wedding night a couple of months ago just before you guys were set to do your first dance. oh... that was another thing, how he wished he could just have one last dance with you. you were such an amazing dancer that it made up for max's not-so-coordinated dancing considering he was built to be an f1 driver and not a dancer. not that max was an awful dancer however, i mean, he would sometimes do really well when he was messing around or playing just dance on the wii but, he was the worst when it came to freestyle dancing. whereas you were the royal highness of freestyle dancing but most especially contemporary since that was the dancing you were taught the most as a child. which always confused everyone when you and max said you'd known each other since childhood because the question was "how?" since max was always doing karting and you were always doing dance competitions.

you giggled as you noticed your now-husband, max staring at you as you smiled, "waar ben je naar aan het staren?" you giggled as max giggled too as he held you closer, just as you were about to go to the dance floor for you and your husband's first dance as mr and mrs verstappen what are you staring at?

"jouw lach. het is de hele dag niet één keer veranderd. en ik wilde ook alleen maar naar mijn vrouw staren, is dat nu illegaal, mevrouw verstappen?" max teased as you giggled again, your smile staying plastered on your face like it had been the whole day your smile. it's not changed once this whole day. and also, i just wanted to stare at my wife, is that now illegal, mrs verstappen?

"ja, omdat ik blij ben, meneer verstappen. en natuurlijk is het oké dat je naar me staart, en het is niet illegaal, ik was gewoon in de war. bovendien hebben we onze eerste dans en ik wil niet dat mensen op ons wachten," you whispered back as max rolled his eyes as he reluctantly walked out to the dance floor with you yeah, because i'm happy, mr verstappen. and, of course, it's okay for you to stare at me, and it's not illegal, i was just confused. besides, we have our first dance and i don't want people waiting for us

you and max then danced your first dance as the verstappen's and, you couldn't help the smile that stayed on your face. you were so proud of max because he had finally gotten the steps of the first dance correctly. and, like you always told him, he was a good dancer, he just had to focus on the steps but to not forget to also not to overthink it too much, because that's why he'd often mess up during rehearsals. because he'd be overthinking the moves too much as well as worrying about his f1 physique and it would confuse him and that would be the reason why he'd just suddenly stop halfway through their dance rehearsals for their wedding whilst you would just continue.

the guests continued to cheer as you and max ran off the dance floor as everyone else ran onto it so they could continue the party as the slow song that was playing for the first dance was all of a sudden changed to an upbeat track. then, you just kissed max because of how proud you were of him for not overthinking the steps and being so seamless in his dancing. you guys then starting whispering to each other in english, even though you'd usually speak in dutch if you didn't want others hearing you, no one was going to because they were all so focused on the fact that the real party of the wedding had finally started. so you didn't feel like you had to speak in dutch.

"...see, i told you maxie! you can dance! you just did it then and you didn't mess up once, you were perfect!" you bursted out in pride as max smiled, his cheeks going pink

"yeah, because you were with me and you're like, the royal highness of dancing, babe. that's the only reason, if i had to do that entire thing on my own, i'd be falling over and dancing with two left feet!" max rolled his eyes dramatically which made you roll your eyes as well

"oh yeah, that's a lie babe! you weren't overthinking and you weren't trying to do too many things at once, that's why. and besides, you can dance, and you can dance more amazingly then you actually give yourself credit for considering you are a formula 1 driver..." your voice was fading as max was leaving the memory and back to real life when he heard the voice of a slightly younger woman who was sitting down at a gravestone next to him, speaking in dutch, a different contrast to the english between you and max

"...gaat het, lieverd?" the girl asked, noticing that max was now sobbing silently, slightly frightened by the new voice but nodded his head as he smiled at the girl - she couldn't have been any older than twenty-seven are you okay darling?

he then noticed the gravestone that she was kneeling in front of and his heart almost broke. it seemed like she was visiting the grave of her spouse, just like he was.

"ja sorry. het gaat goed met me," max giggled uncomfortably as the girl offered max a tissue, which he gladly accepted as she then moved closer and started asking questions about who's gravestone it was that max was sitting in front of yeah, sorry. i'm fine

"als ik vragen mag, wie zie je dan?" the girl questioned as he smiled, wiping his tears away and sniffled if i may ask, who is it that your seeing?

"mijn vrouw... we waren net een paar maanden geleden getrouwd, maar helaas werd zij binnen een paar weken na ons huwelijk ongeneeslijk ziek en overleed niet lang daarna..." max trailed off as the girl sighed in empathy as she nodded her head my wife...we had just got married a couple of months ago but, sadly, she unfortunately, got terminally ill within a couple of weeks after our wedding and then passed away not long after that

"...en jij? wiens graf is dat?" he then asked softly as the girl smiled in the same way that max had what about you? whose grave is that?

"mijn man... hij is twee jaar geleden overleden, we waren geliefden op de middelbare school en toen kreeg hij niet lang nadat we getrouwd waren ook kanker, net zoals jouw vrouw. Ik weet niet hoe, maar we kwamen er doorheen en toen stierf hij op een avond in mijn armen..." the girl trailed off, however there were no tears as she explained it and it kind of gave max some hope that he'll eventually stop crying when explaining what happened to his own wife my husband...he passed away two-years-ago, we were high school sweethearts and then he developed cancer not long after we got married too, just like your wife did. i don't know how but, we get through it and then, he died in my arms one night

"...oh, het spijt me zo om dat te horen. en als ik het niet erg vind: hoe lang duurde het voordat je stopte met huilen toen mensen je naar hem vroegen?" max questioned with a small sniffle, his tears starting to subside as the girl smiled oh, i'm so sorry to hear that. also, if you don't mind me asking, how long did it take for you to stop crying when people asked you about him?

"persoonlijk duurde het bij mij tot een paar weken geleden, maar dat betekent niet dat het bij jou zo lang zal duren. ik ben niet beschut, ik weet wie je bent, max verstappen, maar als je terugkeert naar de formule 1, zal het je helpen sneller te genezen. misschien duurt het een jaar of misschien zelfs een paar maanden. er is geen goed of fout. als je morgen stopt met huilen, is dat ook goed. en in welke herinnering zat jij toen ik merkte dat je huilde als ik het vraag, want ik heb dezelfde herinnering elke keer als ik hier kom om mijn man te bezoeken," max smiled as the girl asked him that personally, for me, it took around until a couple of weeks ago but, that doesn't mean that it'll take that long for you. i'm not sheltered, i know who you are, max verstappen, but when you return to formula 1, it'll help you heal quicker. maybe it'll take a year or maybe even a couple of months. there's no wrong or right. if you stop crying over it tomorrow, that's okay as well. also, what memory were you in when i noticed you were crying if you don't mind me asking, because i have the same memory every time i come here to visit my husband

"onze eerste dans op onze bruiloft. ik ben uiteraard niet de beste danseres, maar mijn vrouw, zij... zij was de beste danseres ooit. maar eerlijk gezegd was ze een getrainde hedendaagse danseres, dus het is logisch dat ze een betere danseres is dan ik, maar ja. ik geef er alles voor om haar te zien lachen en nog één keer met haar te dansen..." max trailed off as the girl nodded her head and stood up and walked away our first dance at our wedding. i'm not the best of dancers, obviously, but my wife, she...she was the best dancer ever. in fairness to her though, she was a trained contemporary dancer so, it makes sense that she's a better dancer than me but, yeah. i just give anything to see her smile and have one more dance with her

but, before she did walk away, she told max what memory she has about her husband, "...dat is mooi, want ik heb precies dezelfde herinnering aan mijn man en ik op onze bruiloft tijdens onze eerste dans. mijn man was ook een geschoolde hedendaagse danser en was een veel betere danser dan ik..." that's lovely because, i have the same exact memory of my husband and i at our wedding during our first dance. my husband was also a trained contemporary dancer and was a way better dancer than i was

lando norris:

now i'm half the man without you, and it's getting harder every day

lando couldn't breathe. well, he could but barely. it had barely been a couple of days after his best friend harry had dropped dead from what was a suspected suicide attempt and already, lando felt as though he was half the man without his best friend. it felt as though he would never be able to stop crying because it was all he found himself able to do. he was thankful to have you, his wife, your dog, the rest of his family and his formula 1 teammates by his side but, it still didn't feel whole like it would have if his best friend was alive. you could tell that this whole situation of his best friend killing hismelf and then having to rush home from the airport since the next f1 grand prix was supposed to start again after two weeks off to then rush to the hospital to be told his friend had died had exhausted him out. and then, on top of that, because lando was the closest person to his best friend by way of family, lando had to help in the planning of the funeral for his best friend and it was obvious how stressful this was for your grieving husband. the worst part of all was the fact it was being publicised everywhere because of lando's f1 fame. sure, the moment you become famous, basically everything about you becomes public knowledge but, this, this you thought was a little bit too far. who on this earth wants to read a news article about your husband's best friend dying of suicide? well, clearly the oddballs because your eyes widened at how many clicks this certain article that you had accidentally stumbled upon was receiving daily. your heart sank as you then lifted your head up from the image that had been photographed of your husband with the mother of the deceased best friend from a day or two ago to look at your husband, lando, who seemed to have the same sunken, grieving look on his face that he had in the photo.

you threw the tablet down to the bed and extended your hand out to lando who immediately grabbed it, "...what's going on in that head of yours, babe?" you questioned as lando huffed shakily as he shrugged his shoulders

"i...i have no idea, y.n. i'm just so stressed, i..." lando couldn't even finish his sentence because he just started to cry out of the blue - grateful that it was just you two in the house, the family giving the both of you a break

"...oh, honey. i know, it's not easy my love but you are doing so well!" you whispered as you tightly embraced lando as he continued to cry into your shoulder, his body sagged from exhaustion

"is this ever going to get easier?" lando whimpered as he closed his eyes and let the river of tears that welled in his eyes pour down his cheeks as you sighed, hugging your grief-stricken husband tighter

"i think so, lan. not right now because everything's happening so quickly with the planning of the funeral and all the phone calls you and harry's mum have had to make but, i do believe it'll get easier. the hurt you feel currently will start to fade and it won't hurt as much as it does right now. but, how long it'll take, i have no idea," you sighed softly as lando limply nodded his head

you could tell he was so exhausted but, it was the exhaustion that couldn't be fixed with sleep. however, you could tell that he was also tired, one that could be fixed with sleep. so, your heart broke in the knowledge that you didn't know what to do to help your husband. you didn't want to send him upstairs to your guys' room but you knew that the phone calls he and his best friend's mum were doing was causing him so much stress and you just wished you could take his pain away. so, you decided the best thing was for you to send lando up to your guys' bedroom to have a quick sleep while you and his best friend's mum continued the phone calls to the extended family and the rest of the planning that lando was tasked to do alongside his best friend's mum.

"lan, babe, i don't think you're in the right headspace to continue with the phone calls and funeral planning so, go upstairs and have a sleep for about an hour or two and i'll continue the phone calls and help harry's mum with the funeral planning until you wake up again, okay? is that okay with you?" you proposed as you could tell your proposal to help almost made lando cry all over again

"no, y.n, babe, it's fine, i can do it! i just needed to take a breather, i'm fine, i need to do it. harry's mum can't do it on her own, she needs me to help her..."

"...and i understand you want to help harry's mum, i get it, sweetheart. but, babe, look at the state of you, you are not in the right state of mind to be on the phone with his family and the funeral directors. there's a reason why his mum has been attempting to be this strong and it's because she has to. so, i'll ask you again, go upstairs to our room and i'll take care of this. what you need is sleep. you are wrecked and the only way you'll be able to continue is if you rest and take care of yourself. you are not okay, lan, you just lost your best friend..." you trailed off as lando's eyes closed and he covered his face with his hands

you felt awful for making your husband cry again but, it seemed as though lando was still in a battle of the denial and depression stages of grief and it had only been about, two or three days since his best friend passed away.

"...you need to take care of yourself babe, i'm sorry for making you cry again but, you cannot keep overwhelming yourself with these phone calls and everything else of the sort. remember, whilst the others on the grid don't know everything, they still know some of what's going on and like me, they also want to help. so, maybe, it'll be a good thing if you shoot them a quick text in the group chat or ring one of them and, once i've finished a couple of phone calls myself, i'll come upstairs to join you for that nap, deal?" you tried to convince lando but, it seemed like you didn't even need to try since lando just weakly nodded his head in agreement as you smiled softly with a head nod

"okay, i'll text the group chat and have a sleep. thank you, babe, i love you so much," lando whispered as he sauntered over to you and gave you a hug and the sweetest kiss as you smiled and nodded your head

"of course, babe. i didn't just marry you because of how attractive you are," you joked in the hope of getting your husband to giggle and, for a moment, it worked which you nearly screamed the house down over

but, it wasn't until you watched him ring up the group chat, oscar answering, that you truly realised how hard lando had taken the death of his best friend. whilst it brought tears to your own eyes, watching your husband be so grief-stricken and almost lifeless over the phone with oscar and his teammates broke your heart, you knew it was still something that brought that little bit of joy when he got to hear the voices of his f1 grid family on the other line of the phone that made this loss that little bit easier to deal with.

sure, right now, a couple of days after the death of lando's best friend harry was going to be hard and painful but, it wasn't going to stay this painful forever and soon, lando would be able to find it easier to breathe and easier to be without his best friend.

oscar piastri:

i'll never let go, you're the one that keeps me breathing. time slows even though the world keeps spinning

it hadn't even been that long since you and oscar had gotten married in london's west end when the heartbreaking news of oscar's dad's death had been confirmed. you hadn't been at the hospital in london that day since you were running some errands but you knew that oscar was since there was a two week break inbetween the last and next grand prix and that, he'd need you the moment he gave you that specific code word to let you know that your father-in-law had passed away. so, when you received that code word from your husband, you dropped everything you were doing (literally) and you rushed to the car.

you knew that oscar's heart was shattered and that he was barely breathing. even for you, your world was slowing down but you could not imagine how slow oscar's was whilst the world around him kept spinning. so you knew you needed to hurry up because there was only so long oscar could keep his tears to himself before he'd just drop to the floor and cry.

thankfully, you weren't that far away and you had arrived in a whopping five minutes that would normally have been fifteen minutes from where you were to the hospital that mr piastri had been in. and, almost immediately, you could tell by the distraught look on oscar's face that he was seconds from breaking down into tears. so, very quickly, as your world started to speed up to normal speed again and oscar's stayed at slow, you managed to whisk him out of the hospital room and into the privacy of the hospital's waiting room hallway as you held your husband ever so tightly as he just cried and cried and cried.

you couldn't help the tears that streamed down your own cheeks as oscar sobbed hysterically into your shoulders. it seemed like his tears weren't ever going to stop as you rubbed your hand up and down his back in a very futile effort to console him but, it was as though he was inconsolable and you couldn't blame him. you knew exactly what the loss of a parent felt like, you lost your own dad when you were twelve years old, two years after you had met oscar for the first time actually and you just remembered how supportive oscar and his whole family were. but, none were more supportive and helpful in your grief then oscar's dad, when you would sometimes be inconsolable, mr piastri just knew the things to do and say to you that would get those tears to stop and it was only in this moment that you wished you had recorded those words on your phone so that you could play them for oscar right now. because it seemed like no matter what you whispered or did, nothing could possibly help stop oscar's cries of pain, anguish and grief over the loss of his father.

"...i am so sorry, baby. your dad loved you so much. and you were such an amazing son to him as well, never forget that..." you trailed off, slightly disheartened that nothing you could say could console your husband but, you had to remember that this was only hours recent for oscar whereas, for you, it's been up to a decade, even longer since your own dad died

so, you took a deep breath and you pulled out of the hug. which, of course broke your heart because seeing your husband cry was the worst thing in the world for you, you just coached him into taking some deep breaths. because, since he was crying so much and his breathing was uneven, he was going to start to hyperventilate which would send him into a panic attack which was not what you or oscar needed. so, finally, oscar got his breathing under control and his tears slowly but surely started to cease and his wails were no longer loud, the tears were silent and his breathing was slightly shaky. but, this oscar, this oscar was easier to comfort and talk to whereas the other oscar that was sobbing and wailing was not easy to talk to since it wasn't registering in his mind that someone was talking to you, let alone his own wife.

"...osc, my love, do you feel somewhat better?" you whispered after calming down oscar as he shrugged his shoulders after he had hesitated to nod his head yes

"i...i don't know...dad's gone, babe. my dad's dead..." oscar trailed off as tears started to well in his eyes again as you squeezed his hand tightly, telling him that it was okay to cry absolutely but not to work himself up in the state he was before

"...i know babe. i know he's gone but, we need to calm down because we can't help if we're hysterical, alright? so, what do you need to do and what do you want to do? do you want to stay here with your family and ring the important people or do you wanna go home and i can ring everyone from home?" you gave oscar options, knowing if he'd be unsure, he could pick from the options you gave him which, you could tell appreciated as he wiped his tears off his cheeks as he composed himself

"umm, can...can we go home? i can't, i can't stay here anymore..." oscar sniffled as he wiped more tears from his cheeks as you nodded your head

"...of course we can babe, we don't need to say here but, it'll be helpful to tell your mum that we're leaving and if there is anyone we need to call, we can do it for them, okay?" you proposed as oscar nodded his head

"thank you," he whispered, resting his head on your shoulder as you bit your lip, brushing your fingers through his messy hair

"of course, sweetheart. it's not a problem or worry at all. if you need to go back home, we'll go back home," you whispered back and kissed your husband, only wishing you could take his pain and go through it all over again with your dad's death so he didn't have to with his own dad

by the time you and oscar had let mrs piastri know that you guys were going home but if there was anyone they needed to call to lessen the stress on her and everyone else, they'd do it. she thanked you and oscar and said there wasn't anyone in the family they needed to call. but, if you wanted to call his team leader at mclaren and the rest of the f1 grid to let them know, that you could do that because you both knew that oscar would need their help over anyone else's and, you agreed.

even though oscar's world was spinning ever so slowly whilst everyone else's was spinning normally, you promised you weren't going to let his world stay spinning slowly nor would you let it spiral out of control. so, you informed his f1 grid family of the news before the press could and asked if and when they could get over to london that it would be much appreciated since she knew she couldn't console her husband on her own.

but, there was no doubt in your mind that eventually, oscar's world would go back to spinning normally, just right now, it wouldn't be and that was okay. as long as it didn't stay spinning slowly forever, you were okay with that.

charles leclerc:

they say that time can heal a broken heart but i just don't know how this could be true. everyday i see a picture on my wall, my heart is broken into two.

your heart broke as you saw the melancholic look on your husband's face as he looked at the photo of his dad and godfather, herve leclerc and jules bianchi, that was hanging up on the wall of your guys' house. you could tell his heart was breaking into two. yours was as well. mr leclerc had died back in twenty-seventeen when charles was twenty just four days before charles would go on to win the feature race at the twenty-seventeen baku formula two round, two days before mr leclerc died, charles had lied to him saying he had been signed a contract with formula 1. jules, his godfather, dying in twenty-fifteen during a race, two years before herve would die from a terminal illness. two years, they had died within a space of two years and it was too much for anyone to handle however, it had now been a considerable amount of years since both deaths however, it was coming up to the annviersary of his godfather, jules, death. the anniversary of his dad's death just gone in june. charles was so young when he lost his godfather and then two years later, as he's months away from joining formula 1, he loses his dad. it was a grief and a trauma that hung over the ferarri driver constantly. charles adored jules and his father, he loved them more than he thought he could have loved anyone, of course, other than the rest of his family and you, his wife. so, you just knew charles' heart was breaking every single day that passed because the only things he now has left of his dad and godfather were the photos and the videos and the memories they shared together, no longer having the opportunity to create new ones with them ever again.

however, this day, you could tell that charles was thinking about something and it was eating away at him so, you asked him, "what's going on in that head of yours, charles?" you questioned softly, wrapping your arms around his waist as your head rested on his shoulder as he sniffled softly

"something that mum said to us not long after dad had died at jules' grave..." charles sniffled as your heart sank, you knew exactly what it was that charles was going to say since it was not a new thing anymore

"...yeah, what was it?" you asked even though you both knew what it was, you just knew it would be beneficial for charles to say it so, he said it

"they say that time can heal a broken heart but, i don't think that's true..." charles sobbed softly as you hugged him tighter as you sighed

"...your mum lost the love of her life, charles, of course she's going to say that...besides, you guys also lost your godfather two years earlier, what else could she have said..." you trailed off, hoping it wouldn't come off as offensive to your father-in-law and husband's godfather as charles smiled softly

"...i know but, could it be true? can time heal a broken heart?" charles wandered, it was truthfully something he wondered the moment his grief-stricken mother said those words after his dad died whilst at the grave of his deceased godfather

"well, personally, my mum thinks so. i mean, she remarried the man who would become my father after her first love, well, who she thought was the love of her life, died so, i suppose time can heal a broken heart..." you trailed off as charles smiled as he nodded his head

"... mais, le voudriez-vous?" charles then questioned in french, no longer bothered to speak in english as that stumped you, what on earth was your husband talking about now? but, would you?

"je ferais quoi, bébé?" you questioned with a soft giggle as alex scoffed and introduced the thing that's called context would i what, babe?

"est-ce que tu pourrais te remarier avec un autre homme si j'étais mort avant notre mariage et si j'avais eleanor et sage?" charles questioned as this stumped you even more even though you couldn't deny the fact you had thought about this, especially after jules' as you guys weren't old enough to be having kids let alone be in a serious commited relationship yet not so much after mr leclerc's either even though you were now married and had two daughters, you were more focused on the grief of the family that you had no time to think about it after mr leclerc's death would you possibly remarry another man if i had died before we got married and had eleanor and sage?

"well, i don't know, amore. i mean, mum's first husband died because he was terminally ill and knew that he wouldn't stay alive for the two of them to get married and have the timeline that he wanted so, he allowed my mum to fall in love again so she could still have the timeline that she wanted so, that's what she did. she met my dad, fell in love, and then got married and then had her seven kids. but, if you were to die on me now with our two kids and the third on the way, who knows what i'd do because maybe i won't or maybe i will fall in love again but, because i'm not in that situation, i have no idea... what about you, would you remarry if i died?" you responded with your answer, switching back to english seamlessly and then asked charles the same question as he sniffled, wiping away his tears

"well...yeah, i don't know. maybe if weren't already married and with our three kids, i'd consider marrying again but, because i'm with you and have our three kids, i don't think i would because you're all i want in my life...and, i think that's why mum said that..." charles trailed off as tears continued to stream down his face which you could tell was starting to slightly annoy him

"...yeah? because she knew there was no one else that she would love the same way or as greatly as she loved your father. as well as she knew that no matter how long it had been since the loss of both jules and your father, that she felt like time would never make it better. and it's true, some people who do become widows or widowers don't ever get married or even find another person because their person before was the only one for them and in their minds, there was no one else for them but that one person..." you trailed off as charles nodded his head, you could tell the cogs in his head were spinning so you allowed him and waited for his next thought

"...i just, i still can't believe, after so many years, that both jules and dad are gone, like, they're never coming back, babe..." charles' voice broke off at the end as his eyes widened once he realised what he had just said as your heart broke

"...oh, babe..." you trailed off as you turned charles around into your embrace, away from the photo on the wall and let him cry into your shoulder

you knew that charles just wished he could see his dad and godfather again instead of having to constantly look at the photos and the memories of his dad and godfather. but, you also knew that he knew that jules and mr leclerc were always going to be with him, whether that was on the f1 track or in his everyday life. you just hoped he knew that you were also going to always be with him no matter what.

fin

okay, this one was kinda messy and i'm pretty sure the european languages to english were dodgy as fuck but at this point i'm proud of myself alright? also, i'm sorry that this was super depressing, for those who are reading my books for the first time, depressing shit and angst is kind of my specialty but, in saying that, i do write happier and fluffier stuff, i just write angsty shit a whole lot better and seamlessly without making it awkward. also, just as a disclaimer, this was not at all meant to be disprespectful to those real people that have been lost in the real-life context of this one-shot since it was only two people and that was jules bianchi and herve leclerc since the other three were completely fictional deaths.

#formula one #angst #max verstappen x fem!reader #lando norris x fem!reader #oscar pisatri x fem!reader #charles leclerc x fem!reader #always with me

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