#but todays my first full day off
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Childs Play, but everyone is muppets except for Chucky and Mike Norris, who are human.
#i havent posted much for several days as i was in my brothers wedding#but todays my first full day off#and my calves are fucked from waling in heelz#so expect more of me#also i just saw that saw muppet post again#so...#yeah
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appleshipping (gameverse edition) ❤️💚
#that moment when your two childhood friends ditched you because they're dating each other now (blue)#here comes the obligatory diary styled rambling#im so giddy over red rn ❤️#today wasnt such a pleasant day sadly#so i tried to keep my mind off of it by coloring this draft i had#feel better now#i love red ❤️#im quite proud of this. id say this entire piece has accomplished 3 things i had in mind for my new years resolution#first. i draw more full body especially two people#second i draw more body (especially men. look at red)#and thirdly i always wanted to do a page doodle - and i did it#i want to try this again - with steven perhaps 💙#i love my champion boyfriends a lot#pipino never leaves red and jaide ❤️#~ art#♥️ appleshipping#selfship#jaide (gameverse).insert
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Small collection of weird little oc writing experiments and art (AGAIN THERES A LOT OF TEXT UNDER THE READ MORE BEWARE)
mmmmmmm nonsense writings
I remember seeing the soil slowly flood the grave, it felt like watching watching a man drown. He was dead already of course, but in that moment. Looking at magnus' cold still slowly disappearing face, that's when he really died. Beneath the soil. Would that be me some day? Would i too die under the meaningless embrace of dirt for a company that didn't even know my middle name? The grave was shallow, and the coffin poor. It was an insult to call it a coffin really, more a crude spikey construction of nails and scattered drift wood. It was the same gray as the rest of the place. At least it was decent weather considering the universe being a barren wasteland. The sky stagnated as a dull grey tinted by a blue. The wasteland was quite bleak, the land bumped up and down from the dirt hills stretching to nearby off to the horizon, it felt like they would go on forever if i tried to explore. Of course I didn't, i was too afraid. Elanor called it the company graveyard, and with 30 years of working here, I believe her. ------------------------------------------------------------ FOR INTERNAL USE ONLY [Sable Pri psyc eval No. #2] [[TAPE BEGINS]] "I remember the first time there was a death at work. The grave was in a unmonitored uninhabited universe. I apologise but I don't remember the number it has in the system. i aware it was delegated the company graveyard due to the institute's long term possession of the universe. The grave was shallow, approximately five to eight feet deep. I don't believe anyone talked. The body was rolled into the ditch, we filled the grave, and went home. Normally according to company policy's regarding on work deaths we would send the ashes to family with some kind of lie but magnus- [Mr Pri proceeds to stay silent for 1 minute and 10 seconds] I apologize, i wasn't on a first name basis with Mr Tiug. It's inappropriate to call him that- Due to Mr Tiug's lack of family, we followed protocol and buried him in the company graveyard as i stated prior. Ms Elanor Blaidd was promoted to M.E department head soon after the burial, and three years later due to her retirement i took her place as the head of the Multiversal exchanges department. That is all."
[[TAPE ENDS]] [Mr Pri then became uncooperative and vague with answers when further prompted with questions by Mrs L.L Dreamuur, the institute hired psychiatrist]
#i had a horrific day lemme post oc shit#digital art#art#utmv#utmv oc#YOU GET NO CONTEXT#ACTUALLY#Magnus Tiug was the m.e dept head at the time of sable joining. sable witnessed his death first hand#that's all the t.u.a lore for today piss off#i need to write a full fan fic at some point for something huh#oc garbage#my art#T.U.A#Writing garbage#cw death#cw blood#tw death#tw funerals
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Ya know. Wild that I got so many replies from people correcting / trying to correct things that were super minor or didn't matter on the vmd blog
BUT NO ONE POINTED OUT THAT I HAD THREE SEPARATE TAGS FOR つばきP!!!! anyway that's fixed now bc they put all their motions on their booth account to "avoid careless downloads" and it made me realize i missed a few. So the queue is very full again.
Also, my smoke detector started doing the low battery chirp wednesday morning. Unfortunately, the ceilings here are about 8 feet high? I think? so there's like no way in hell I can get to it on my own. The leasing office has a service request system that specifically lists "low battery smoke detector" as an option (bc ALL the ceilings are high, and i know a good number of elderly people live here).. STILL HAVEN'T HAD ANYONE COME OUT AND FIX IT YET.
IM BEING DRAMATIC BUT MY APARTMENT IS VERY SMALL AND ECHO-Y BC OF THE CEILING THING AND IT'S VERY LOUD AND I AM LOOSING MY MIND.
Anyway, assuming I don't end up dead from a smoke detector related casualty, I'll have something to post very soon.
#i don't want them to finally show up just to find it on the floor in like 20 pieces. i feel like that would reflect badly on me.#but like. does it take that long to stop by and replace a battery???#This is honestly the first time i've had this issue. i've had to call them three times before (each time AC or filter related)#and they showed up like. THE NEXT DAY.#SO LIKE WHATS UP. DO Y'ALL JUST NOT HAVE A BATTERY ON HAND AND UR PUTTIN OFF GETTIN ONE?#DO OTHER PEOPLE JUST KEEP HAVING BIGGER EMERGENCIES AND I KEEP GETTING PUSHED DOWN THE LIST?#I CANNOT KEEP SLEEPING WITH MY INCREDIBLY LOUD BATHROOM FAN ON FULL BLAST AS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO MUFFLE THE CHIRPS#whats worse is i know they don't work weekends and there's only about half an hour left in their work day TODAY so.#great sign. i'll probably be dealing with this until monday at least.#at this rate im like “man i hope the whole 'battery fully dies after about 7 days' thing is true”#valkris says shit
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also i think i am having a bad allergic reaction to the mold in my office. there’s mold in my office btw
#their solution was to clean the carpets and talking about hiring pros to come in and clean the walls#then sending out an email about how taking everything off the walls would too hard.#but there’s lysol wipes in the hall if you’d like to clean them yourself#anyways i started getting a really bad cough and a little congestion last week.#also had a covid exposure at the office so i was freaking + testing like crazy bc i was getting respiratory symptoms + mildly elevated temp#all negative‚ requested an extra remote day just to be safe. cough went away and i felt much better after a few days. figured it was a cold.#worked my first full day in the office again today and the cough is mysteriously back and worse.#now i’m no doctor house but —#ig my next move is getting tested for mold allergy?#and if i have to submit an ada request to have Working In A Place With No Mold be granted as a reasonable accommodation.#that will legitimately be the funniest thing ive ever done.#there is everyone’s too much personal detail liz update of the day We Live in A Society
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client: umm, excuse me! ☝🤓 this is a sentence fragment. PLEASE be more professional!!!
me: ma'am this is marketing
#you dont use proper structured grammar!!!! you write how people speak!!!!#this is literally just creative writing please get off my ass 🥰#literally drives me crazy when a client nitpicks every single bit of my writing structure. like feedback? yes of course!#you cant always get it right on the first try! give me helpful feedback like 'wed like to focus more on x' or 'can you xyz?'#leaving 14 comments on a single page document criticizing my use of commas periods sentence structure and phrasing is ridiculous#like consider for a moment. that my job. is a writer. and the company you have hired. has hired ME. to do this full time all day every day.#which means that i probably know more than you random marketing director at a development company!!#anyways im really annoyed and this client is also sitting in my google doc for no reason while im making the revisions#even though there was no indication that i was making revisions today and she left her comments days ago#like why are you back. go away. stop lurking
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#just need to bitch about my new job for a minute#first of all - so lucky and happy to have a job i will say that#been unemployed for two months and i need something to pay the bills#but...the fucking 'no one wants to work' of it all is such bullshit#so this new company starts you at $13/hr#not great but considering i live in rural america it's way worse around here#they're remote but their definition of remote is that you can only work from your house no where else#you get two days off per week but it's not two days back to back#if you're full time you get extra holiday pay but there are no holidays off#if you're part time fuck you you just have to work#full time employees get 10 vacation days and 6 sick days#part time you just get so many unpaid hours off#like...i'm working part time because i'm hoping to get actual work in my field#but you're telling me if i was full time i'd get /16 days/ of paid time off per year?#but also i'm not allowed to go anywhere else while i work??#like i have family just out of state that i could pop over and see on a long weekend or even a short one#but i don't even have two days back to back so i just can't go see them without taking time off#and like...probably i can just use a vpn and it won't be a big deal#and i'm hoping this is a super temporary thing and i can actually use my degree#but like /fucking hell/ of course no one wants to work in conditions like this!#i know it's work from home and there are some perks to that but not enough to make up for everything else#also not them telling me during my interview that after training you don't have to be on camera#but during out first day today being told we have to 'earn the privilege'#bitch please it's fucking chat support#i am just so tired of employers thinking that it's a privilege for us to work for them#it's a privilege for you to have me honestly#oh and also if you run out of days off you don't get unpaid time off#they just start giving you strikes#like our trainer is really nice and great but also she's trying to sell this 10 days off as some kind of amazing thing#in the us that's /fine/ if you also get the holidays off!
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almost cried in the car back from work again lol
#today was difficult. first of all i was so sleepy you could literally see my brain buffering for the first two and a half hours#then 10 min before going home the team leader comes asking if on tuesday (i'm off the whole day) i can come in the afternoon#man i felt crushed like i just made plans with my friends yesterday to go hike since i was home!!#so i was like uhmmm i kinda already have a commitment that day....#so she kinda backtracked saying she has to see maybe she can do it herself#but likeeeee i feel guilty bc i only have 1 hour overtime scheduled next week and idw to put more hours on my coworkers but likeee come on#i already work two full days next week why am i the one who needs to do another afternoon too. why do they give us schedules 2 weeks before#if they're always changing it last minute. man im tired too !#and i always say yes so this time im really gonna say no . i can do another day i can work more hours the other days but i wanna be home on#tuesday#but i still feel guilty about it though#it's hard being a pushover
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GOOD MORNIE WORLD!!! startin my day off v early & v strong bc!!! EEEP!!!! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*。 i just got the first sketch back for my bleach tattoo!!! it looks SO SO GOOD SO FAR!! he started so quick like bunnies too!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ i can’t wait to see it in color!!!
#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!#I LITERALLY TALKED TO HIM AB IT YESTERDAY & HE ALREADY HAD THE FIRST SKETCH DONE BY THIS MORNIN!!! HOLY WOAH!!!! ⁽⁽٩(๑˃̶͈̀ ᗨ ˂̶͈́)۶⁾⁾#IM ABOUT TO HAVE HIM DRAW A FEW OTHER TATTOO IDEAS SOON OMG!!!!#it looks so so SO GOOD!!! i might actually be able to get the full tattoo done before my bday in jan!! (੭ु ›ω‹ )੭ु⁾⁾♡#but this gal is up bright & early bc i had to drop my mom off at work!! :3 her cars in the shop rn#& im workin at my besties store today & i get to train a new girl!! ૮ ˆﻌˆ ა i met her briefly last wk & she seems so nice!! im excited!!#debating on whether i wanna wear my mini skirt or not today…hmmm…we’ll see after my shower how im feelin#snuggin up for a lil longer before i start my day!! lets make this thurs the best EVER!!! <333
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…
#rough day today with an emotional mess at the end#rough as in it wasn’t BAD just… I had low energy the entire time and lost the day really#I don’t know how my mom does it. she has it worse than me and she expects me to be more bounding and alive and USING my energy#buddy. pal. I got rude and angry because I was LOW and I DO NOT HAVE YOUR PAIN TOLERANCE THRESHOLD#on MULTIPLE levels. physical and emotional#you went to dental school in Otago in the 90’s. I did animation school 2019-2023.#you escaped communism and were a stranger in a strange land and married my father who became a bat from hell and you had to escape him#AND keep the kids in good schools and in God.#I didn’t. I was the child who had it worst on the spectrum and had the PTSD to crawl out of during high school.#of course THAT put a dampener on me growing up in several ways (and uh. being on this hellsite in 2014 didn’t help either)#mom I love you and you love me. we are clearly NOT the same ever#I’m a little over the age dad married you at first now. I do not have the same threshold nor tolerance as you. I AM more sensitive yeah#and I’m trying to work through it but damn it it is hard trying to stay soft in a world getting crueller.#and yet! I have my father’s face and eyes in anger! I wish I could be more kind and loving on low energy and I’m sorry!#I am genuinely an ass when I’m tired and ticked off and want none of your help and I wish I wasn’t! alas!#I do not! have! your threshold nor tolerance!#when I finally get myself together and have a full place to call my own. with bills and all to pay.#I will finally allow myself the relief of lying down onto the kitchen floor and sobbing.#in the knowledge and safety of solitude.#Chris rambles#AUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#vent
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hell day today and i'm only two hours into my EIGHT HOUR SHIFT
#9 to 5 by dolly parton starts playing in the background..#literally had to open up shop alone 2day and also was entirely alone for the first 45 min. of my shift so that was already a negative start#to the day + i heard that i can't have my break later than two thirty which is very bad for me bc 1) there'll be a lot of ppl all around me#when i'm eating which i already dislike and 2) like 85% of ppl taking their break around that time are VERY noisy eaters so even worse and#then 3) it'll be really loud in the room as well bc everyone's talking loudly and eating and the cutlery's clanging against plates and such#and also some ppl have actual full-blown arguments with each other in the break room bc half the ppl here hate each other's guts so more#negatives to the day and then on top of that we've had sooooo many annoying customers already today who r just. intent on making u stressed#out and upset and literally will tell u to your face to 'do your job better' like bro...i can easily tell you haven't worked in retail....#also someone hung their clothes on the rack outside the fitting rooms which is where u hang ur clothes when you're DONE fitting them & don'#want them bc they don't fit or don't sit right or u just don't rlly like them after all so if clothes are hanging there we the ppl working#there WILL take them and hang them back in their original places what did u expect to happen?? anyway someone hung the clothes they had#tried on already and did want there and i reached out to take them bc like. that's what we do here..we hang the clothes on the 'discard#rack' back in the store bc else the rack gets stuffed and the woman literally grabbed my arm and said 'those are mine what do u think you'r#doing' LIKE?????? GIRL THE RACK'S THERE FOR A REASONNNN ofc i'm going to assume u don't want them anymore if they're hanging there that's#why it's called the DISCARD rack....also how am i to know those specific clothes are yours HONESTLYYYYYY STFU AND GET OFF ME#ALSO some dude was like (to his child but like. looking at me while he said it.) 'this guy needs a haircut doesn't he' bc my hair is kinda#long and apparently i passed today. LIKE 1st of all kind of a rude thing to say to a stranger innit 2nd of all setting a great example to#your child there just casually commenting on other ppl's looks like that👍 3rd of all jokes on you you wouldn't consider me a guy if#you Knew most likely. thanks for that little zing of glee much obliged <3 but also man just piss off will you. 4th of all my hair isn't eve#that long....like the ends of it are just shy of my shoulders wdym LONG if u knew the long-haired guys i know you'd faint.#anyway. great start of the day. i still have six more hours to go 🥴#ALSO no surprise this always happens but my legs already hurt SOOOOOOOO BADDDDDD :(((((((((((#r.txt
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there’s nothing like the relationship between a girl, an unfinished 70k(+) word fic for a show she hasn’t even watched yet, & 11pm-1am *twirls hair anticlimactically*
#pls don’t ask what the twirls hair thing means y’all idk what it means it’s one am and my first alarm goes off in five hours and i have a#full day of teaching/praying my meds are actually in now tomorrow or today ig and also recovering from sick#but sometimes brain says you post this bc you’re funny kay babes bestie#and you do it#idk where i am even going wigh gbjs post big you know what i am sleepy and it e xisys so i’m throwing this at you ghen passing out#tehe
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Autoimmune flare up
#my doctor just signed a paper telling me I’m out of work for a month#and today was my first official day just at home doing nothing#and I don’t know what to do with myself#I just keep crying on and off lol#I’ve got so many doctors appointments booked for the next few weeks and my mouth is always full of blood and my body is so weak#and I just feel so useless#and idk I love gross up close portraits of how I really see myself in the mirror#I’m also like not all there rn lol I’m kinda in a daze still#this doesn’t feel real yet#self portrait my beloathed#anyway#autoimmune#autoimmine disease#pots#graphite#drawing#self portrait#art#artists#disability#disability art#traditional art#sketchbook#pencil sketch
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hheeeuuurrgghppbbtttt
#my dad messaged me today sayin’ he hopes to see me soon and it honestly ruined my day luke#like please leave me alone ://////#then some general normal Every Day BS happened at work and I just had to dip I almost walked off the job no word to my sups#Just makes me think of my mom which#i feel more justified after it I guess ‘cause she’s the one who allegedly approves the messages her husband sent me when we had our fight#tbh life is better w/o her messaging me daily like I spent basically all of 2023#wanting to cut her off and she gave me even the lightest reason to do it so i did and it’s been nice#the pointless guilt I felt for not wanting to see my family has turned into general resentment and annoyance#i don’t even miss her or him like I straight up just don’t want to see my blood relatives they’re not family to me they’re just people#i happen to share genes with like if you really wanted to build a relationship with the person#you forced into this stupid world then maybe you shouldn’t have been such insufferable assholes for the first 18 years#i spent most of my conversations with them over the phone last year basically just saying life sucks and that i want to kill myself#I need them to feel bad for conceiving me i need them to regret it#my cousin Aaron has the right idea tbh like last I heard he wasn’t talking to my uncle or anyone w/ blood relations really#following in his footsteps. I legit just got so full of rage and frustration when my dad messaged me it’s been like 3 weeks since we spoke#it was so obvious that I didn’t like my mom growing up everyone knew it and berated me for it like how am i supposed to accept that?#How am I supposed to take the hate and anger she exhibit and put out there in that unhappy home#and turn the hate and anger her and her family felt towards me for not loving her#and turn that into love? How am I supposed to turn unending anger and hatred and bitterness and just be like ‘yeah i love you’#I love my parents in the sense that I am familiar w/ them and they have had a constant presence in my life up this point and when I was like#8y/o I had some pretty good times w/ my dad that were DIRECTLY related to my mom being out of the house#my mom was just so abusive to that man for 20+ years#and he took the love I had for him and made me hate him by just shoving jesus down my throat#We used to have CONVERSATIONS he & I but then he got his head stuck so far up his ass that he couldn’t see#how he was just ruining everything. Me: Hey so this thing thats goin on?#him: haha yeah that thing thats been goin on!! You know what tho#[starts pitching JC to me again]#that was all I could get from him from 12-18/19#he killed whatever relationship we had together and now it’s a decade later and I have no interest in talking to him#I don’t care to try and rebuild. I don’t want to rebuild anything with him I don’t want him to want that either
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roommate has covid (again) (I hopefully dodged it bc I've been out on a work trip all week but still). I apparently got assigned awhile ago to lead next week's work trip but today is the first I heard about it so I'm scrambling to prepare everything on time. a covid conscious person I connected w/ online is coming to visit tomorrow and I'm stressed bc I have to get a bunch of work done before then and also I hope the vibe is cool in-person and that we can be friends! also none of my coworkers have said they can cover my shift tomorrow even though I put the request in the group chat weeks ago and I cover their shifts whenever I can. i am on day 32 of a 41 day stretch of working every single day with only two days off including 9/5 and tomorrow (IF one of my coworkers steps up...) . and then my next day off, in October, isn't even really a day off because I have to drive 4 hours round trip to the nearest city to get an MRI to see whether or not my recently diagnosed genetic disorder has given me internal cysts or tumors. I am hanging on by a thread haha
#god I fucked myself over so bad by having multiple part time jobs instead of one full-time + maybe a flexible side gig like I did last year#don't do it folks#anyways I finally get 4 days off in a row in October and I am going to sleep soooo much#the only thing keeping me afloat today is that I met w/ my former boss abt working for him doing rare books stuff this winter#and it's pretty much the perfect side gig#so i'm going to quit my other one the first week of october i think. finally#personal#im also sad and mad bc my roommates ruined the last batch of fireweed i harvested and bc i've worked so much this month i haven't been able#to go harvest more#i'm hoping that the covid conscious person & I can do that tomorrow! they'd like that i think#but ugh i wanted to forage so much this fall (prickly pear and rose hips and whatnot)#and i haven't had the chance bc i fucking work all the goddamn time and now most things are done#i also haven't checked on my community garden plot in weeks and i know im missing so many ripe tomatoes and peppers and stuff#god it just enrages me how much i have to work just to scrape by. how work demands all of me and leaves no time or energy for anything else#antiwork
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just had one of the worst cries of my life i think
#going out soon but idk im just so full of anxiety n everything sucks#ive been throwing up since like 3am too bc im so anxious#like i fucked up last night and it hasnt left my mind#n then i have to join a discord and get interviewed and play a game that i find terrifying bc itll make him happy (first world problems ik)#and now i have to go out to lunch today#which would be great but !!#my jeans are a tiny bit tighter than they usually are which means i gained weight !!!! i havent eaten today so its not bloating !!!#and then i went into the bathroom to look at myself and i saw how bad my eyebags are so i went to put on makeup#but i looked fucking stupid so i took it off and now im just sitting here kinda bawling over how ugly i am#i fucking hate it !! im so disgusting#im so tired i just want to kms and cut#how am i meant to talk to him when i cant stop crying and how am i meant to go outside like this#like im never gonna post my face here but u guys rlly dont know how gross i look#god im gonna meet him in like 4 months dude i fucking cant hes gonna find me so repulsive im going to cry#wtf do i do im so fucked nothing is going to save me#hes just gonna spend like 3 days with me probably fuck me and then just leave me i fucking know it#its so over man its so fucking over someone just run me over with a car#jamie.txt
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