#but to drive really well you need to know what the cars and pedestrians around you are going to do

[servuscallidus]

I drive like shit I hate this

[7s3ven]

DRIVING LESSONS. luke (pjo)

Normal! Au

( master list )

IN WHICH… Luke attempts to teach Percy how to drive and, in the process, almost crashes into Luke’s long time crush. But maybe he can spin it in his favor.

—

Luke was like an older brother to many. He had warm and comforting aura that people seemed to gravitate towards.

“Don’t get hurt, seaweed brain.” Annabeth warned Percy, pointing a stern finger at him. Luke chuckled as he leaned against the hood of his shiny car. Percy needed driving lessons and Luke was more than happy to help. Though, he knew he was going to regret it. Annabeth and Sally were both too terrified to teach Percy but Luke was up for the challenge.

“Turn on your blinker, Percy.” Luke reminded the teenage boy for the fifth time.

“My what?” Percy only stared at Luke in utter confusion.

“Your turn signal. And keep your eyes in the road!” Luke exclaimed as another car whizzed past, narrowly avoiding crashing into them. Percy immediately glued his eyes back to the view in front of him, sheepishly smiling.

"Sorry." He whispered.

“Turn slowly here.” Luke instructed, nodding when Percy finally remembered to press his blinker. Percy turned painfully slow, matching the speed of a sloth, and Luke held back an annoyed groan.

“So, when did you start driving?” Percy asked. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Luke shrug.

“I’m not sure. Around your age or a little older.” Luke was in his twenties now, already having secured a well-paying job which helped pay for half of Annabeth’s tuitions. The other half was paid by a scholarship she earned.

“Have you met any cute girls?”

Luke lightly snorted, grinning in amusement. “Why are you asking me that, Percy? You know I can see how you look at Annabeth. I should be asking you how it’s going with her.”

Percy and Annabeth had always been stuck between friends and lovers and it was driving Luke insane. He wanted to shove the two of them together and demand they admit their feelings.

“Okay, but have you met any cute girls?” Percy was persistent, which suited his given name. Luke scoffed, tilting his head back. He had but he didn’t want to admit it to Percy. How was he supposed to tell Percy that he was still in love with the same girl from high school?

He thought he was over his feelings but he saw her in a coffee shop one day and everything came flooding back. Their playful flirting, their late night rants as they lay in each other’s arms while listening to Luke’s playlist, and that kiss they shared in their last year. Annabeth was already calling Luke a loser for liking her again, he didn’t need Percy doing the same.

“I guess.” Luke finally answered. “I’m not really attached to any of them, though.” Because his mind was always on Y/N, his high school sweetheart.

“Are you gay?” Percy asked out of the blue, causing Luke to choke in surprise.

“Am I- No! I’m not gay, Percy! I like girls but I wouldn’t date any of the girls I meet!”

“Is it because you’re still obsessed with her?”

Luke knew who he was talking about. He clicked his tongue, giving Percy the indirect answer that he needed. Percy wasn’t so clueless after all.

In all Luke’s years of babysitting Annabeth and Percy, he had only brought one girl over, who happened to be Y/N. They were working on a school project but Annabeth still liked to tease him about the way he gazed at Y/N.

Percy made the mistake of tearing his eyes away from the road again. “Percy!” Luke shouted as soon as he spotted someone walking across the pedestrian crossing, “Eyes on the road!” Percy, in a panic, slammed his foot against the break. The car screeched to an abrupt halt and both boys were sent flying forward. If it weren't for their seat belts, they would've crashed through the windshield.

There was a soft knock on Luke’s window and he turned his head, mortified to see the very girl he was just thinking about. The brunette slowly rolled the window down, thickly gulping.

“Hey.” Y/N greeted him, resting her arms on the sill, “You know, people usually stop at the crossing. They don’t almost run someone over.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. It’s his first time and he’s still pretty nervous.” Luke jabbed a thumb in Percy’s direction. The blond boy was sweating, gripping the steering wheel tightly. He sent Y/N an apologetic smile.

“Oh, Percy. I haven’t seen you in a while.” Y/N grinned at him, “You’ve grown up so fast. Last time I saw you, you were smashing into walls.” Percy’s cheeks heated up at the memory. “Glad to see you still have that habit. Though, instead of walls now, it seems you like to crash into people. You weren't thinking of committing a hit and run, right?"

“How have you been, Y/N?” Luke changed the subject to spare Percy from the embarrassment of Y/N’s teasing remarks. “You disappeared after high school. And the last time I saw you was in a cafe. I barely had time to ask.”

“I went to university in Europe.”

“And you got your law degree, I assume?”

“Conjoint, actually. I majored in law with a minor in psychology.”

Luke whistled, impressed. He barely passed university. “So, what are you doing now?”

“Well, I was taking a calming walk before I almost got killed.” She chuckled, an amused glimmer flashing in her eyes. Percy sank deeper into Luke’s leather car seat. “If you need help with teaching Percy to drive, I’d be happy to help. You look like you need it.” She fished out a card from her purse, handing it over to Luke. “I changed my number, by the way. That’s my personal one. Feel free to contact me, Luke.”

She bid the pair farewell and once she was out of earshot, Percy and Luke turned to face each other.

“Oh my gosh, she gave you her number!”

“Bro, I got her number!”

It was safe to say that Luke spent the rest of the terrifying car ride feeling elated despite being tossed around in the vehicle with Percy and almost throwing up once or twice.

Luke was dreading the next day with Percy because the young boy was not a good driver. At all. Not only had Percy narrowly avoided crashing into a pole and took off one of Luke’s mirrors in the process, but they also got chased by the cops for going over the speeding limit. Twice. And he couldn't forget how they almost killed Y/N.

Luke was thinking of ditching Percy but he was technically Annabeth’s boyfriend, even if she didn’t want to admit it.

His phone buzzed and his eyes darted to the screen for a split second. He looked back at the road, quickly stomping his foot onto the break. His heart sank for the second time this week. This was not how he wanted to meet Y/N again.

Y/N was teasingly grinning as she made her way over to his window. She knocked on it, bending down to match his height. “Hey, Luke.” She uttered, clicking her tongue. She playfully pursed her lips as she watched Luke sigh, his head resting against the wheel. “You and Percy seem to have one thing in common. Almost crashing into me.”

Luke’s cheeks flushed bright pink. “I didn’t mean to… I swear.” He uttered.

“It’s fine, Luke. As long as you don’t actually hit me. Because if you do, I will run you over too.” Y/N smiled, acting as if she didn’t just whisper a threat in Luke’s ear.

“I’m actually going to pick up Percy right now. Do you want to, uh, join me? I might throw up less with you around. Partly in fear of embarrassing myself.” Luke chuckled to himself while Y/N huffed in amusement.

“As long as I don’t land in hospital, I’m up for it.”

“No promises.”

Y/N climbed into the passenger seat, shutting the door behind her. She tilted her head to the side as she picked up a Lancôme lipstick. “I never took you as lipstick person, Luke.” She joked, holding up the tube.

“It’s Clarisse’s.” He said. Despite their differences, the two were quite close in high school. And they still were.

“You two dating already? Everybody shipped you two.” Y/N chuckled, turning her head to look at Luke.

“We’re just friends.” Luke said.

“Oh, come on. You must like a girl. Who’s the lucky one, huh?”

You, Luke almost said.

“I’m not interested in any girls right now.” He said instead. Y/N quirked an eyebrow.

“Are you gay? Wait, I kissed you while you were gay?!” Y/N gasped while Luke wildly shook his head.

“Why does everyone think I’m gay?!” He exclaimed.

"You've never dated anyone, Luke. It makes people think things." Y/N chuckled as leaned back in her seat. "I remember when everybody thought you and Chris were an item. Your fangirls were devastated. It was hilarious."

"What about you?" Luke asked, "How did... you feel?" Y/N faltered. She slowly turned her head to look at Luke before shyly diverting her gaze.

"I was more preoccupied with laughing over the sad girls with my friends." She uttered, "But I had a feeling you weren't gay. Your fashion sense back then was a dead give away that you were straight."

Luke clicked his tongue, "Was that meant to be an insult or a compliment?"

Y/N silently shrugged, flashing him a small grin. "A bit of both, I think."

Silence eventually settled between the pair. The car engine quietly hummed and Y/N glanced out the window as the radio played a soft melody. She thickly gulped as Luke pulled into Percy's driveway, a little disappointed they'd no longer be alone.

"Y/N." Luke quickly turned to her as soon as he pulled the keys out of his car. She met his gaze, confused as she gestured for him to continue. She watched as Luke took a deep breath. "Do you remember when I asked you if you had a partner for prom?"

"Of course. I went with Jake."

"I know that. But do you remember when you told me about Jake and I looked a little sad?" Luke was usually straight-forward with his sentences but he couldn't find the right words in this moment. Y/N slightly tilted her head.

"Yeah... you looked crushed." She said in a joking tone, causing Luke to gently chuckle.

"I looked sad because... I wanted to ask you out. Because I liked you. And I didn't ask anyone else out or accept any other offers because you were the only person I wanted to go with. And when you kissed me in our senior year, I couldn't feel happier, even if it was only because you wanted to feel a teen romance. And when you left... I didn't leave my room for ages. Annabeth had to drag me out. I was scared that you would find another person and I didn't want you to leave me behind."

Y/N gazed at him in silence. Luke cleared his throat, nodding his face. "I shouldn't have said anything... sorry. All those things were ancient history. I don't even know why I brought it up."

"What about you?" Y/N breathed, "Is there anyone else in your life?"

Luke pressed his lips into a thin line. "No... To be honest, I still haven't moved on from you." He turned his head to face Y/N, taken aback when she pressed her lips against his.

"I didn't find anyone else, Luke. I wanted to come back from university and run into your arms again, like old times." Y/N uttered as she pulled away. Luke cracked an ecstatic grin, pulling her back.

"Are you guys seriously making out in front of my house?"

Y/N and Luke jumped apart at the sound of Percy's voice. The younger boy was staring at them through the tinted window, face wrinkled up in disgust.

"I'll, um, get in the backseat." Y/N said, smiling before she switched seats, allowing Luke to sit beside Percy. The brunette gave the boy a subtle glare.

"Can I turn on some music?" Percy asked as he drove down an empty road. Luke had switched off the radio to allow the blond to concentrate.

"Only for a little while. Keep your eyes on the road so you don't almost kill anybody else." Luke snapped. From the backseat, Y/N lightly laughed.

Percy pushed a button and with a quiet click, Olivia Rodrigo started playing. "Really, Luke? Your sad playlist?"

"It's the only other tape in my car."

"I got my driver's license last week"- Percy sang along but he was cut off by Luke's stern tone.

"Percy, you won't be getting your license for ages if you don't focus on the road." The brunette warned. Percy frowned, going silent for a few moments before he parted his lips again.

"He used to listen to this playlist in his car while it rained. He was probably thinking about you." Percy said to Y/N, looking at her through the mirror, "I think he even cried at some point. Annabeth and I saw him one night, just sitting in the car and banging his head against the wheel."

"Percy!" Luke hissed, trying to shush the boy. But the damage was already done as Y/N diverted her eyes to look at Luke.

"Really?" There was an amused edge to her voice.

"Stop the car." Luke demanded, glowering at Percy. The young blond nonchalantly pulled over and stopped the engine. "You're dead, Percy. I'm going to tell Annabeth how you still drool in your sleep." Luke pulled out his phone, causing Percy to panic.

"I told her I stopped!" Percy reached for Luke's device but the brunette quickly stepped out of the car. He held the phone up high, away from Percy's grasp. Y/N watched as Percy chased after Luke, desperate to hide his drooling problem from Annabeth.

Luke turned his head to scowl at Percy. "It's your payback for telling Y/N that!"

idea from @emiliehornby !!

PJO TAG LIST : @lostinhisworld @julielightwood @outerbanks-stuff @jennapancake @csifandom @evrybodydies1 @kkrenae @s0ulsniper @annispamz @justanotherkpopstanlol @soraya-09 @simpforeveyone @papichulo120627 @corpsebridenightamare @lilacspider @prettylilsimp @urmomsbananabread @ur-lacol-dsylexic @hottiewifeyyyy @kamiliora @be-bap @finnickodaddy @th0tblckgrl @shoyofroyoyoyo @uniquely-her @imafrkinsimp @syraxesrevenge @ahh-chickens @dracoslovergirl @midnightstar-90 @8812-342 @liv1104 @krkiiz @arialikestea @ch16rles @lizziesliz @maryclx01 @lukecastellandefender @yuminako @coryoskywalker @julielightwood @crybabysbakery @jsbabyyy @liviessun @p3pperm1nttea @angie-esc @purplerose291 @prettylilsimp @10ava01 @froggiesstalks @happy-jj @czennieszn @gisellesprettylies @loveyava @csifandom @luvvfromme @mashiromochi @kamiliora @yorksyree @mqg125 @jamesmackreideswife @niktwazny303 @2hiigh2cry @user021099 @living-in-my-imagination88 @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @randomgurl2326 @niktwazny303

[male-body-swap-lover]

That Suburban Dad Life

Nicholas Fletcher was young, but he was well on his way. A young ad exeuctive who lived in downtown Chicago. A stunning new condo at Wolf Point that looked directly down the south branch of the Chicago river. Not everyone was so lucky. And did he care? Not at all. Selfish. Unlikeable. Cutthroat. Just some words that described Nicholas Fletcher. At least he had the heart of Ms. Annabelle Davis. She came from a wealthy family and Nicholas saw it as a way to get ahead in his career. Today was the day he was going to propose to the “love” of his life. Unfortunately he was running late.

“God dammit. Stupid traffic. Why won’t these pedestrians move out of the way”, he said.

In his impatience, he accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake and hit an old woman walking in front of his car.

“Oh fuck” he said.

He got out of the car and walked to the old lady who had fallen. He tried to help her up but she swatted his hand away.

“I don’t need help. Could you not see I was walking” she screamed at him.

“Look lady, I am on my way to propose to my girlfriend. I don’t have time to wait for some old lady from the suburbs to cross the road. I’m sorry.

“Young man, you are impatient and unkind.”

“And you are kind of a dramatic bitch. Get up off the street so I can go.”

“All you young men are so rude. You call me suburban. I bet if you were suburban, you’d have some patience and manners.”

As she stood up, she whispered in his ear “I curse you. The next time you meet a woman from the suburbs, you are slowly going to turn into her ideal companion. It’ll teach you some manners and respect.”

Nicholas laughed as she slowly walked away. He got back into his car and sped away to Alinea.

He parked his car and was walking inside just as a young woman was walking out, crying. He tried to avoid her, but they accidentally bumped into each other.

“Oh I am so sorry. My boyfriend just dumped me. I came in all the way from Elgin and I thought he was going to propose, but he dumped me!” She started cring again.

Nicholas didn’t know how to respond, so he just muttered sorry and kept walking into the restaurant.

He greeted Annabelle and sat down. He had arranged to have the ring be presented as part of dessert. As they talked all through dinner, Nicholas felt off. He couldn’t get comfortable. Everything Annabelle kept talking about bored him. He just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him and decided he wasn’t going to propose. He called the waiter over while she was in the bathroom and got him the stop the proposal. After finishing dinner, he parted ways with her and went home.

As he sat in his living room, he felt this weird urge to drive out to Elgin. He couldn’t shake the feeling so he decided to do it, and went into his room to change. He grabbed his cubs jersey and jeans, but for some reason he tucked his jersey into his jeans. He had to admit it looked dorky, but didn’t untuck it.

He got into his car and drove out to the Elgin. He didn’t know where he was going so after driving around passing house after house, he went downtown and ended up at a bar. He sat down at the bar and ordered a beer, even though he normally got a martini. The game was on and he was enjoying it even though he rarely watched sports because he was always working.

After a while a young woman sat down next to him. They started talking and they had a really good time. He knew he should go home and call Annabelle, but he was having a good time. Hours passed and suddenly it was time for the bar to close. He paid for her drinks and they walked out. They ended up kissing goodnight and he got back into his car. Only when he got in, did he realize the woman was the woman he had run into hours earlier in the city. He couldn’t believe it. He drove back into the city and went to bed.

Weeks passed and Nicholas changed. Annabelle kept calling him but he dodged all of her calls. His performance at work went downhill. For some reasons, nothing was making sense. He stopped going to the gym and he started gaining weight. He even let his facial hair grow in more. Every time he looked in the mirror, he thought he was starting to look more like his father. Finally his boss came into his office and told Nicholas he had to take some time off of work. He needed rest. Nicholas realized he was right and went home.

A week passed and Nicholas didn’t leave his apartment at all. Finally he felt the urge to go out and went to put on some suitable clothes. However nothing fit. He had gained so much weight that he was no longer a 32 waist. He found some sweatpants and decided to go shopping to get some clothes that would fit. On instinct, he drove out to the suburbs and went shopping at Kohls. It seemed to go by in a whirlwind and he found himself back home with bags and bags of clothes. As he looked through the bags, he realized everything he bought was not fashionable. It was all dad attire. He pulled out a a polo shirt and some cargo shorts. He laid them on the bed and started laughing. This was not him at all. It was something he thought some dad out in the suburbs would wear.

Then something came over him. Some insane urge to put on the clothes. So he stipped down. First he put on a white undershirt. Then he slipped on the polo shirt and buttonened one button. Then he put on the cargo shirts and tucked in his polo shirt. He grabbed a brown belt and cinched it around his waist. Then he grabbed a pair of white socks that he bought and put them on and pulled them all the way up. Then he slipped on a pair of sneakers and grabbed a baseball hat. He stood in front of the mirror and laughed. With his weight gain, and with his beard grown out, and with these clothes on, he could have passed for some suburban dad. He started laughing and then his body seized up.

Suddenly, Nicholas felt everything in his brain shifting. Thoughts of ads and revenue were replaced with electrical knowledge and wiring. Late nights at the office were replaced with thoughts of relaxing in a recliner with a beer watching sports. Weekends spent at the club were replaced with thoughts of grilling for the neighbors and mowing his lawn. Finally thoughts of Annabelle were replaced with thoughts of the woman he met at the bar, Natalie Richards. Nicholas suddenly snapped out of it. He looked around his trendy highrise apartment and knew that it was all wrong. He didn’t belong here. He belonged in the suburbs. He grabbed his keys, got in his car, and drove back to Elgin. For some reason he knew exactly where Natalie Richards lived. He got out the car, took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell. She answered the door.

“Hi Natalie, it’s Nick Fletcher. You may remember we met at the bar a few weeks ago. While I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, and was just wondering if you would like to go on a date?”

“Oh Nick, that’s so unexpected. Yes, I would love to. Just give me a few minutes to get ready! And don’t you look cute!”

Nick stood outside and waited for Natalie. He struck up a conversation with some neighbors about the cubs performance. Time flew by and Nick and Natalie went on there date. Everything was perfect.

15 Years Later

Nick couldn’t believe how the years had flown by! The very next day after his first date with Natalie, he put his condo on the market and quit his ad job. He broke up with Annabelle and found a place out in Elgin. He also started his own electrician business with all the knowledge he had somehow gained out of nowhere. After six months of dating, Natalie and Nick got engaged, and six months later, they got married. Every part of Nick’s old life was gone. He no longer dressed in trendy clothes. He didn’t keep up with everything going on in the world. He wasn’t concerned about being at the top of his game. He just wanted a good stable homelife for himself, his wife, and his future family.

Nick and Natalie quickly got to business and had four wonderful kids, Michael, Jacob, Elizabeth, and little Nick Jr. They had to buy a bigger house in the suburbs and that was okay by them. There was now room for a pool out back and a ping pong table in the basement. Sure it was more expensive, but the business was doing well, and he could always save money other places. Anything to make his family happy was worth it. Yes he had gained more weight, and yes his hairline was receding, but he was happy. He had a good, steady middle class job, a good house in the suburbs, and a family who loved him. What could be better?!

[nolsaesthetic]

A one shot I wrote about Nina helping Crowley after season 2. The agnst isn't too bad, but it's definitely there. Hope you enjoy it!

More Expresso, Less Depresso

It wasn't such a nice day. Then again, everyday had been a bad for Crowley since Aziraphale had left. At first, the demon decided he would sleep for the rest of eternity. Maybe at least in his dreams Aziraphale would be there. Yet even rest refused him solace. 

It had been two weeks since the fight. Two weeks, and Crowley hadn't slept a wink.  He tried to, he really did, but every time he shut his eyes, the scene would play in his mind. 

The image of an angel, his angel, looking at him with a look of shock, pity, guilt, and sadness. His posture straight and collar still ajar from when Crowley grabbed him.  Hands fidgeting together until they stilled, and Aziraphale had looked at him. And those eyes, the blue tantalizing eyes that gave him comfort. The eyes that had once gazed at him with such kindness and companionship, now wide with longing and agony. I forgive you.

Don't bother.

It drove him mad. He wanted to forget. He wanted to go back and change what he said, change what he did. Maybe then Aziraphale wouldn't have left. Maybe then they could have had their breakfast at the Ritz, fed the ducks at the St.James park, bicker over miniscule things, yet always seem to forgive one another in the end. 

Forgiveness

 Crowley hated forgiveness. He never wanted to be forgiven. He never thought he did anything wrong. He's a demon, the pure definition of unforgivable. Though it seemed he was always being forgiven.

Did his angel really think that little of him? That he was some evil creature who needed to be forgiven all the time? 

No, Crowley knew that's not how Aziraphale thinks. No matter what he said or did, Aziraphale would have gone to heaven. He had his own reasons, he had to. 

-------

Crowley slammed his hands down on the steering wheel of the Bentley, and the car rumbled to life. His plants in the backseat slid around as he turned quickly into traffic. They were well on their way to dying, leaves wilting and color fading. Crowley hasn't watered them since the day Aziraphale left. Typically, the plants would be too scared to let themselves die. Though Crowley barely even looked at them anymore, let alone yell at them. 

After a 15-minute drive of shouting at other drivers and stop lights, as well as almost hitting a few pedestrians, the car stopped. Crowley didn't really know where he was going, just trying to blow off steam. Yet the Bentley seemed to run off instinct. 

He found himself parked on the street next to a coffee shop and an all too familiar bookshop.

His eyes widened as he realized where he was. Grip tightening around the wheel, Crowley grimaced and glanced across the street. Through a window in the shop, he could see Muriel, pleasently working in their new human clothes while tidying up the shop. It had changed a lot in the two weeks since he had been there. There were no more piles of books and trinkets everywhere. It was neat and organized, almost like a proper library. The lights were brighter than he had ever seen Aziraphale turn them up, and quite a few people occupied the shop. They seemed rather happy, chatting away or flipping through pages of the books.

Wait... People? Customers? Shit. 

Crowley almost flew out of the car. Slamming the door shut as the Bentley miraculously turned itself off, a car almost hit him as he ran across the street. The doors to the bookshop burst open as Crowley looks at everyone, a sense of manic in his eyes. 

Everyone in the shop either gasped or jerked their heads towards him at the noise of it all. All except for Muriel, who happily waved at him before returning to work. Smiling almost maliciously, Crowley addressed them.

"Change of plan people! No books are for sale! Get out."

The would-be customers quickly gathered their things and filed out of the shop. Not wanting to upset the obviously crazy person who had just appeared, they mostly remained quiet as they left. 

Once all humans had evaded the premisis, Crowley marched his way over to Muriel who was standing with a confused expression. 

"What the Heaven do you think you're doing?!" He shouted

Holding up the feather duster in their left hand Muriel replied. "I'm dusting!" 

"No, not that! The books! Why were you selling the books!" 

"I'm running the shop like the Metatron told me!" 

"The Metatron" Crowley spat out his name like it was a curse. Sighing, he continued, "Aziraphale's going to be so upset when he comes back I-"

"But Mr.Aziraphale.. the Supreme Archangel..isn't coming back Mr.Crowley."

Oh...

He had forgotten. In all of his panic to protect his angel's precious books, Crowley had forgotten that Aziraphale wasn't there anymore. He was gone. He had left him.

Suddenly the shop didnt just look different, it felt different. The warm, homey feeling it once had was gone. Replaced by the stale and depressing silence of dread. 

He was silent for a long time, all he could hear was a ringing in his ears and muffled sounds of Muriel trying to get his attention as he stared off into nothingness.

"Mr. Crowley!" He had finally snapped out of it as Muriel grabbed his arm. "What's the matter?" 

He didn't respond, just blankly looked at her as he pulled him arm away. Stepping back, he grumbled out, "Just- don't sell the books. Tell anyone that comes in to piss off." 

Before Muriel could get another word out he was long gone. Leaving poor Muriel to stand alone in her confusion. 

Crowley was back inside the Bentley, looking up at the top of the car. He wanted to cry, to scream, to shout, to do something, but he just couldn't. Something inside him felt broken, missing, and he didn't know what. He didn't want to think about it, just wanted the feeling to go away, wanted to kill that part of him, wanted to kill-

A few taps came from his window, and he sighed and reached to roll it down. He expected Muriel, coming to find him after his outburst. He was shocked to look outside and see Nina holding a coffee cup and looking back at him with a pitiful smirk.

Once the window was fully down, the cup was quickly shoved towards him. 

"Hey expresso, you don't look so good."

Crowley just rolled his eyes and took the cup, drinking half of it - it was his usual six shots of expresso - before looking back up. 

"You don't say"

Nina returned the attitude right back, "Yeah, you look like shit."

It was true, his hair was grown down to his shoulders and it was a wreck, you could see the bags under his eyes from beneath the sunglasses, and there was five empty wine bottles in his passenger seat alone.

When all the response she got from Crowley was a dead stare, Nina decided to continue talking. 

"Look, I just closed up shop. Why don't you come in and we can get you a proper drink?"

Crowley mulled over the option in his head. He could just drive off and continue mopping on his own, but it that did nothing to stop the emptiness he felt. Hoping that it might distract him even a little bit, Crowley chugged the rest of the expresso and made a grumbling noise in the affirmative. 

Stepping out of the car he nodded towards the coffee shop and the two started on their way inside.

-----

Apparently, it is very difficult to explain a 6000-year relationship to a human. Nina kept questioning when and why certain things happened, why they didn't communicate clearer, why why why. And it didn't help when Crowley kept beating around the bush as to what happened right before Aziraphale left. Usually, this would irritate Crowley, but he was currently on the verge of tipsy as he lay spread out on Nina's leather couch she kept in the back. 

"Wonder what..what Warlock's doing these days.." he mumbled out, taking another sip of his wine glass that Nina gave him. 

Nina sighed as yet another one of her questions went unanswered. She was sitting at a table not too far from the couch, with the bottle of wine and her own wine glass close to her. 

"You still haven't told me what happened, Crowley." She spoke firmly, getting up and taking his wine glass from him. It was no use though, the demon just miracled himself another one. Still, Nina took that from him too. 

Groaning, he swung himself back to an upright position before looking up at Nina and replying. 

"What's there to say? I followed your idiotic advice, and now I'm alone!" 

"You know that's not what I meant. You've spent six millenia pinning after this guy, and it seems to me that it was mutual. Nothing that runs that deep just ends." 

It was silent in the room for a while, Crowley looked to be staring past her as she turned to put the glasses away. But as she was almost out of the room, Crowley responded. 

"..he wanted me to be an angel again."

Nina blinked a few times before turning back around. Setting the glasses on the table she spoke slowly, "and you didnt want to?"

Crowley took off his sunglasses, still staring out in front of him as he spoke. His posture was lowered as he leaned his elbows on his knees, holding his glasses in between them.

"Its one of the only things I wouldn't do for him

I've always followed him, protected him.. he's gone now, and it's like.. I'm not even me anymore." 

Nina took a deep breath, exhaling as she lsat down on the couch next to Crowley and leaned back into the cushion. 

"To me, it sounds like you need to figure yourself out.

Take a break, take care of yourself...

Also, stop living in your car. I have space at my flat if you need a place to stay." 

Crowley didn't know how he felt about that offer, but talking to Nina was making him feel better, and he was willing to give anything a shot at this point. 

Pausing for just a moment, he sobered himself up and finally turned to look at Nina.

"Can I bring my plants?"

[ceilidhtransing]

It's astonishing the number of conversations about urbanism that get derailed by one person going “but what about my very specific situation!”

Look. No one is talking about forcing you specifically to never ever use a car if the life you lead needs one. There will always be edge cases like someone who lives on the very outer limits of a city but has to commute every day to their job thirty miles away in Middle Of Nowhere Village Farm (Population Two Hundred) which is too far to cycle and it's unlikely that there will ever be fast frequent public transport on that particular route so of course it makes sense for that person to drive. Even in well planned places there are still some situations that warrant a car. And, of course (though this is not really the group this post is about), there will be a very small population of disabled people - smaller than a lot of people probably imagine, but it definitely exists - for whom, no matter how accessible a mixed-use walkable neighbourhood you build, with tactile paving and level boarding and free seating everywhere and continuous pavements and safe segregated pedestrian paths and all that fantastic stuff, it will still be necessary to use a car a lot of the time.

But the existence of edge cases does not invalidate the project as a whole, and in fact it's a pretty conservative instinct to respond to an attempt to massively improve the general conditions of society with “but what about the way it will affect me?!”

I am very sympathetic to a lot of these people's fears and apprehensions, particularly those of disabled people who are all too used to urban planning projects completely forgetting they exist and severely limiting their ability to get around the world. I really do understand the feeling of “I can only barely get around as it is and I'm afraid that all this urbanism stuff will only make it yet more impossible for me to live my life”. But I suspect that a lot of this feeling comes from a fear of extremely poorly implemented “urbanism”, where things are - especially in North America - basically the exact same as there are now except you're forced to walk or cycle everywhere so you have an 80-minute round-trip cycle just to get groceries and the Urbanism Cops will hunt you down if you so much as think about driving. And while there's always some risk that good ideas will be absolutely butchered in execution by incompetent, careless and/or malicious officials, I do want to emphasise that no one is actually advocating for that kind of situation. An “urbanism” that leaves everything basically as-is except now cars are banned or something is no urbanism at all. And an urbanism that makes it infinitely harder for people to get around, rather than easier, is also no urbanism at all. Whatever your nightmare vision is of “everyone being forced to cycle everywhere” or “my commute now being 4 hours long because I'm not allowed to drive” or “now I'm trapped inside my house because I can't walk very far and my neighbourhood isn't accessible to me” is not actually being advocated by anyone.

Urbanism is about greatly improving the quality of life for society as a whole (as well as, you know, staving off the climate catastrophe), and within that framework there will be space for all the edge cases. Because that's what they are: edge cases. Even if 15% of people will need to drive to work no matter what, that's still 85% of people who won't. Even if 10% of people will need a car to go shopping, that's still 90% of people who won't. And the expectation - especially from people whose opposition is rooted not in genuine concern for accessibility but rather in pure myopic selfishness, like the business owners who go apeshit every time a bike lane is proposed on their street - that we should hold off on massive improvements for the vast bulk of society because “what about their specific edge case situation” is how nothing ever gets improved at all. “My personal need to drive means that everything should remain car-dependent forever.” “I can't ride a bike therefore we shouldn't invest in cycle infrastructure.” “My nearest transit stop is a half-hour walk away so instead of advocating for better public transit that works for my neighbourhood I'm going to insist that everything stays the way it is now.” Prioritising edge cases - often those of loud and wealthy conservative minorities - at the direct expense of the broad solutions that will result in massive quality-of-life improvements for almost everyone is deeply unfair, and doesn't result in anything ever getting better, but rather is a big contributing factor to everything staying shit forever.

[anipgarden]

Tips on talking to HOAs about installing gardens in the shared spaces? I live in a condo, but the parking lot is /barren/

I'm sorry for how late this is! (This was sent in November for everyone's context), I simply had no idea how to answer it!

Though I live in an HOA neighborhood, I've never really been in a position where I had to talk to them about anything. However, a book I checked out from the library awhile back (Hellstrip Gardening by Evelyn J. Hadden, which I really need to take back soon) mentions a couple of tip in regards to talking to HOAs about gardening in the front yard. Hopefully it helps!

Come with an idea in mind! Being able to present a drawing or a description of what you'd like to do in the area will be a lot more helpful than 'I want to do A Thing', and may be enough to get permission! In other cases, you may need a formal presentation, but even then having an idea of what you'd like to plant and why and the benefits to the community will be helpful for building said presentation!

HOA's suck, I'll be the first to agree. But if you wanna get permission for a cool parking lot garden, you've gotta go over there ready and willing to compromise and talk nice. Maybe come up with a few alternative options--for example, if you want to dig in the ground but they don't want a permanent fixture, be open to raised beds instead. But that doesn't mean let them walk all over you! Be confident, and bring facts to back you up. And know what rights the HOA does or doesn't have in your city or state.

Try presenting the idea to some neighbors and get them to back you! The more people you can get behind the idea, the less likely a 'oh but what if the neighbors don't like the aesthetic what if they complain' concern will actually stick.

Focus moreso on practical benefits than emotional arguments when it comes to the HOA. Bring up things like reducing runoff, erosion control, less water usage, little to no mowing or blowing--anything that can add a dollar figure to how beneficial it is will likely tilt people towards your side if you're convincing enough, especially if you can show that the cost of planting and maintaining your parking lot garden idea long term will be negligible to or even cheaper than maintaining whatever's going on there now--if they're constantly planting sod there only for it to wither away, that could be a good starting point.

Visuals!! Again!! This comes from the book, but also from me convincing my mom to let me plant by the front yard mailbox--me rattling off names of plants and all is way less effective than me texting her pictures and descriptions of how tall they get. If you can get a general idea of what you'd like to plant and where, gather up a bunch of pictures of your ideal plants and maybe draw a quick mock-up of your design. If there's other places in your town that have similar gardens--someone's front yard, or a park, or anything of the sort--provide addresses so the HOA board members can drop by and see what it looks like in action, and further cement the idea that it has been done before and done well. Consider the aesthetic appeal of it all!

Get ahead of any questions or concerns that you think the board may have. This idea you have is for a parking lot garden--they might have concerns about cars and pedestrians existing around the space. Is there risk of plants damaging the cars? Being a trip hazard for people getting in and out of their cars, or existing around the space? Are the plants you have in mind known to cause allergies, are they toxic to kids and pets that may be around the area at times?

Maybe include like a stone bench or something, depending on how big the spot is. If the HOA can make the presence of the garden a fixture, make it look like a plus to moving into the condos, they'll love it all the more! 'Look at this lovely garden break spot you can chill in oooo!'

Do you have a plan in mind if the garden gets damaged--whether its a car driving over the curb, or someone intentionally messing with the plants? What is it? What do you think the potential cost of it would be? This may be something they'd ask.

That's everything I've got, between the book and my personal thoughts. If any of my followers have dealt with an HOA and have feedback or other comments to provide, by all means chime in!

[residentshitcunt]

Ahh this fucking post crossed my dash again, I really had better do a thing about it.

Unless you are living in an area with a very large bat colony nearby, this is a fucking terrible idea, and fails to take into account the very negative effects to human safety that widespread adoption is likely to have. So, let's go over some whys of it all.

First off, sodium vs. cool white LEDs. Basically, the reason that high pressure sodium lamps have been the standard for so long is because once they're burning they're really fucking bright, and really fucking efficient. The big problem with them is human vision. We physically don't see the same in daytime as we do at night. In the day, under photopic (well lit) lighting, our vision is very sensitive to the light spectrum that HPS lighting outputs, but at night under scotopic lighting conditions, our vision is much less sensitive to those kinds of red/orange wavelengths and is much more sensitive to blue wavelengths, which makes sense when you remember that moonlight is significantly cooler than sunlight. So, to achieve the same equivalent illumination, you have to use much brighter HPS lighting than is actually required, to account for the reduced sensitivity of our eyes during the night. Blue-white LEDs can thus be much less bright, but achieve the same equivalent illumination, all while increasing actual visibility and lowering maintainence and replacement costs.

Secondly, DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID ABOUT LOW SENSITIVITY TO RED LIGHT AT NIGHT?? Public lighting is a public safety concern. There's no point in having it if you can't use it to fucking see. Like I know enough people that don't feel comfortable walking at night at the best of times, but turning everything into a low contrast blurr is beyond a joke. Also, people still drive, and while that is still the case, you have to think about the safety of human-car interactions. Car headlights are bad at side illumination, street lighting helps with this massively. This is very important in urban settings, reducing the visibility of pedestrians is dangerous. People will most likely be killed because they could not be seen.

Also, LEDs like those are near monochromatic. God forbid someone wears anything other than maximum red clothing and they just vanish into low res background movement, not materially distinguishable from the leaves in the trees.

These red lights do have real uses, but it's much more limited. Generally, they're installed where a bat flightpath crosses a bit of human infrastructure like a highway, and they're only used for stretches in the tens of metres, where it's not going to materially impact safety. Widespread adoption, however, would be a massive swing in the wrong direction.

Overlighting and light pollution are massive issues with cities and towns generally. One of the easiest ways to reduce it (while maintaining safer streets and helping bats too) is super simple: constrain light sources. You know those lights which are just like a big white ball on the end of a pole? Yeah, don't do that. Bats fly, so you make the lights not directly visible from the sky, I.e. with a light cone of less than 180° (ideally around 100°-120°), you'll massively reduce the amount of light spill, while still adequately lighting roadways and footpaths.

Overlighting is a big issue, which essentially just boils down to "we put lights in too many places where we really don't need them to be". Those illuminated signs for businesses that aren't open at night? Get rid of them. Does your local castle/old library/government building/palace really need to be lit up at night? Are you sure?

And here's an idea: if your park/side street/ alleyway isn't heavily trafficked, you don't need to have the lights on all the time (they also don't need to shine into everybody's front windows). It wouldn't be that difficult to install motion or vehicle magnetic sensors into roadways to trigger light usage. You could even put like, a button? So that when you press it, a block of lights goes on for a while, and then just turns off.

All of these are good for wildlife, all of these are food for liveability, and all have their own issues with cost, maintainence, public opposition, cranky business owners etc, but they're also not making it materially more dangerous to go outside at night. Like you notice that both of those photos of the red lighting were taken while there was still vestiges of daylight around because taking them when it's actually dark shows that they're not kind on your eyes. Harsh blue-white lighting also helps keep drivers more alert, increasing road safety. It's about balancing factors, not making sweeping changes based on one fairly small one.

perhaps some will disagree, but i think the world got worse when we changed the colour of the night

[paa-official]

Recording No. 24

The noises from the street had suddenly returned. Or they just suddenly appeared because they weren't there before. Jenny looked me in the eye again and then she also noticed the noise from outside, so she got up and ran to the window. Cars were driving through the area with screeching tires and passers-by were running back and forth frantically.

I went over to her and looked outside too, but instead of looking down, I turned my attention upwards. The armada of our army had arrived and it looked like they had followed exactly what I had inadvertently told Luke to do. Then Jenny's phone rang. It was her father >> Dad? <<

The staff officer's voice had been heard softly through the speaker >> Honey. Are you out with James yet? <<

>> No, I didn't want to go with him. <<

>> At least you're not in one of the bases. They've all been destroyed. Please make your way out of Manhattan before the aliens get you. <<

The two were still talking while I noticed a single shuttle fly towards Central Park and land in the middle of it.

I immediately turned to Jenny “ Please do as your father says. And please take care of yourself. “ I told her and ran out the door.

>> Wait, where are you going? <<

I turned around and took on my human form >> I need to talk to a friend one last time. <<

Outside the door, James was still waiting >> Aye, what's your hurry? <<

I simply pushed him aside and ran down the fire escape. The streets were pure chaos. People were all bumping into each other and not caring if anyone fell. Drivers were speeding through the streets, squealing their tires. Some even took garbage cans with them and didn't seem to care about pedestrians either.

I carefully tried to cross the road, avoiding a few cars. They all honked at me as if I had been the problem, forgetting what was buzzing around in their skies. Surprising as it was, the shuttles and warships hadn't fired yet. They were actually just buzzing around Manhattan like vultures, waiting for something.

The park had been empty, not a soul far and wide, so I took on my own shape again. And the closer I got to the center where the shuttle had landed, the slower the shuttles moved in the sky. They had spread out all over Manhattan and were taking up specific positions.

Then I arrived at the shuttle and there were two Grievers. Luke, who was holding Becka and tapping his foot impatiently on the ground >> Looks like you weren't lying. << he said to Becka.

>> Hey, let her go. She's not to blame. This was all me. << I shouted to Luke when I was only a few meters away from him.

>> Oh really? Then why did she publicly reveal secret information from the archives? <<

Becka resisted, but Luke's grip had been too strong. He probably hadn't minded her wriggling around. And to calm her down, he squeezed her arm tighter, causing her to cry out and lose her grip on her legs. I jerked forward, but stopped myself from rushing to her.

>> You must have recovered well from last night. A few scratches are still there, but you seem to be able to move well. <<

>> Come on. You know as well as I do that none of this is necessary. << I called out again.

>> Which one? This meeting or the attack? Thanks for your tactical advice, by the way. The humans really are an easy target. All I have to do is give the command and your beautiful city will be dust and ashes. <<

Becka took advantage of the moment he was distracted and kicked him in the soft parts with her knee. His grip loosened and she was free, but I knew she wouldn't make it far. >> Becka! << I shouted and ran to them. Because before she could hit him in the side of the face, he had caught her with his fist and she fell backwards. I was with him at that moment and activated Xornud's blade. I swung sideways, but Luke dodged backwards and I missed his throat by a little.

>> Nice piece. Did your scaly friends give it to you? <<

I held the sword in front of me with both hands and stood with my legs apart >> Luke, do you really want to serve someone who betrays his own people? <<

>> Miran has been dead for a long time. I serve the military. <<

>> That doesn't make it any better. <<

>> Are you saying that you can't understand why the military kept the truth from everyone? If everyone had known that from the beginning, many would have spoken out against the invasion and we wouldn't have gotten anywhere. <<

>> You are about to wipe out an innocent species. How can you be so blinded? <<

>> I am the deluded one? You would sacrifice yourself for a primitive species that is slaughtering itself . <<

>> And the Grievers didn't have a similar story? <<

He pulled out his hilt and activated his blade >> Just tell me if you've really been my friend all these years . <<

Becka slowly got up and stood next to me. I gave Luke an uncomprehending look.

>> All these years, were my feelings towards you even real? <<

My eyes widened >> Who told you that? <<

>> A telepath from the archives. You probably noticed him too, otherwise you wouldn't have had a headache, would you? <<

My fingers gripped the handle much tighter >> You were just testing me. <<

>> That's the normal procedure when someone is initiated. And you even slipped away from him. <<

I took another swing from above, but Luke stepped aside. Then I tried to hit him from the side, but he took a step back. Suddenly, fighter jets and helicopters appeared in the sky and fired their missiles at the shuttles, but they were repelled by their shields. Fighting vehicles appeared on the streets and shot into the sky, but the bullets had no effect. The humans were hopelessly outgunned by the Grievers.

Then Luke spoke into his radio watch >> Launch the attack. <<

Without hesitation, the air units began shooting at the human machines and the skyscrapers. One shot each was enough to disable the military technology. One missile tore a huge hole in each of the buildings. The guns tore through the defenceless people and their vehicles as if they had never been there.

I quickly took out my own sword hilt and gave it to Becka. Then I charged at Luke again, slashing at him in short bursts. But he blocked every one of my attacks until he had the chance to punch me in the face with his fist. I fell onto the floor with the back of my head. And as long as I was lying there, Luke tried to ram his sword into me, but I rolled to the side. Before I could get up properly, he went straight for the next blow, tearing the earth out of the ground.

The blade had been too heavy for me to lift it up in time to block his blow. But suddenly another blue blade appeared in front of me and stopped Luke's blow. Becka held her sword with all her strength and pushed against its enormous strength. He kept pushing and she had to swipe his blade upwards. But that didn't stop him and he took another sideways swing at Becka. We both took a step backwards and dodged his sword.

A burning jet had been crashing above us and was spinning on its own axis. The ensuing explosion shook the ground and bent the trees with the shockwave.

>> You know what? << Luke then spoke >> I'm not actually here to deal with you two. <<

He tapped something on his watch and walked over to his shuttle. Becka wanted to run after him and stab her blade into his back, but I quickly restrained her. But I quickly regretted that decision, because another shuttle soon appeared behind us and kept its guns on us. I could already hear them charging and saw the plasma light up in the barrel.

Then there was a bang. Something had hit the hull of the shuttle, causing it to start burning. This was followed by two more shots and the shuttle fell to the ground. Its turbines shredded the grass as it skidded sideways along the ground and when it hit a tree, it finally exploded. We all looked up and many smaller, dark gray pods flew towards the Griever air units.

[emcroissant]

Let me just see something real quick...

Charleston, SC, technically has a bus system. It's CARTA, and it's free, but it's not really a bus. It's more of a shuttle that travels around the peninsula in a circle route, mostly catered to tourists.

But it's a million degrees in Downtown Charleston today, and the path I needed to take does not have much shade.

So I decided to take the bus.

Bad idea. Very bad idea.

It started off fine. I got on, along with a bunch of cruise ship tourists who have no idea how to get around this city that's 2 sq. miles at the most. Whatever. Since the bus only goes in a loop, I know I'm gonna be on there for a while.

Flash forward to my stop. In London, I knew that I had to press the red button to let the driver know I needed to get off. I press that. I see that a "Stop Requested" sign has lit up. I think I have been successful.

WRONG.

I stand up and step toward the bux exit, only to watch as we drive idly by my stop. Then the next. I started to panic, so I pulled the yellow wire that I didn't even know worked anymore. It doesn't. The driver then tells us we have to YELL that we want to get off and that she's not going to stop at every stop (despite there being people waiting for the bus as well).

Finally, I got off the bus and had to walk 3 blocks to my destination instead of the 30 seconds it would have taken me if I had been allowed off at my stop like I wanted.

Charleston has NO efficient public transport. The bus is too unreliable, and it's not an actual transportation system that I can take to any desired destination.

Charleston streets were never designed for cars, yet we squeeze them in there.

The horses who pull the carriages are abused and forced to work in the sweltering heat, but they're not used for transport either.

The bike taxis up-charge people, especially if you're "bigger" or not as pretty. I've watched and witnessed it firsthand.

Biclysists run off the road and are not given safe buffers to ride on the road. If you want to be able to ride your bike Downtown, you have to basically be a speed-racer and super skinny so that you can squeeze between moving and parked cards.

Pedestrians and joggers are not safe either. They're hit if they go into the streets, which is sometimes necessary due to the narrow and uneven sidewalks. They're hit when they're on the sidewalk, too. Nobody is safe.

Charleston has the tracks for a trolley system, but they have been buried beneath pothole-filled asphalt.

And what was once a bustling railroad depot is now long gone. To get to the suburbs around Charleston, you have to have a car. They were supposed to start building a train from Downtown to the town where my parents live, which would have been great! But no. They've shortened the proposed route, but I have a feeling I'll never see it in my lifetime anyway.

[kareofbears]

so many hours in a day

It's drizzling in Tokyo when Nanami sees him, or rather runs into him, in a way that only Yuji can pull off.

read on ao3 or below the tag :)

Nanami Kento is a busy man.

He would prefer if he wasn't. He would like to be the type of person who wakes up naturally, instead of a shrill alarm. He would like to have slow breakfasts with coffee that he makes himself, instead of rushing to the convenience store around the corner for a pre-made egg salad sandwich and instant coffee from the fridge. He'd love to take a few weeks off in a year and travel for a bit, to enjoy the sights with his own eyes, instead of an advertisement that he'd see plastered on the subway walls.

Nevertheless, preference doesn't dictate reality. It doesn't matter what he'd like. A leisurely life wasn't designated to him in the lottery of birth, and it was something he resented for a long time. Accepting the cards that he's been dealt with, however, is indeed something he can control.

What he had yet to accept, on the other hand, was the consistent presence of Itadori Yuji.

--

It's drizzling in Tokyo when he sees him, or rather runs into him, in a way that only Yuji can pull off.

Nanami pulls into the curb gently, mindful of the rain and wary of pedestrians. It isn't often he drives around the city, with public transit being fairly reliable if not cramped. Parking is a gamble that Nanami doesn't appreciate, but rain can be difficult to traverse when he's in need of a grocery run.

Pulling on the handbrake, he opens his umbrella as he steps out of the car, and feels something roll onto his foot.

Looking down, he stares as a can of beans slowly gets wet with rain. He stoops down to pick it up, readjusting the umbrella on his shoulder.

A familiar voice sighs, loud and frustrated. "Sorry to bother you, it just got away from me. Again, if you can believe it. Oh, hey!"

"Hello, Itadori-kun," Nanami straightens up and takes in the boy in front of him.

Yuji, arms full of groceries, from vegetables to eggs to a carton of milk, stands in front of him, grin wide, hair flat and wet. "I didn't think I'd see you today, Nanamin. It's really great to see you," he says, open and earnest.

"I'm grocery shopping." For once, Yuji's out of his jujutsu uniform and is sporting a hoodie and pale jeans, neither of which are helping with the current weather. Nanami raises his umbrella to prop it above Yuji. "I assume you are, too."

"Bingo!" Yuji laughs, wordlessly getting closer to Nanami so they can share the umbrella as the rain picks up a bit more. "What gave it away? Haha, just kidding, don't answer that."

That's good because he wasn't going to. "Are you on your way home now?" he asks. "You didn't bring a bag with you?"

"Ah," Yuji shifts from foot to foot, and Nanami eyes the carrot that's threatening to topple over. "I ran out of money for a bag. At least I have my arms, which is kind of like nature's bag."

"It's three yen for a bag," he says, but he digs through his pockets, pulling out his car keys and unlocking the trunk. "Here, put it down. There should be a few reusable bags in there as well, so make sure to separate your groceries into three different sections: produce, refrigerated, and non-perishables."

"Thanks!"

Yuji hums as he works, Nanami opening the bags for him as Yuji drops the groceries in. "What are you making for dinner tonight, Nanamin?"

"Curry omurice." He expected the oohs and ahhs that follow. "It isn't difficult. If you're attentive in the timing of it, anyone can do it."

"You must be a good cook," Yuji remarks, shuffling the eggs around so they don't break under the oranges. "I want to be like that, too."

Nanami considers this, vaguely remembering how Gojo boasted about how his student made meatballs for him. "I recall you being able to cook."

"I can make about five things super well," he says. "Like, really well! Simple dishes are doable. But anything past that--" Yuji makes a so-so gesture. "Hit or miss, so I stick with what I know."

Once everything is packed up, Yuji hauls everything from the trunk with ease. "Thanks for the bags. I'll make sure to wash them before I give them back to you. Geh, imagine if the milk spills and I give it back to you like that." He shudders at the image he conjured himself. "Anyway, next time you stop by school, I can pass these back to you."

Nanami peers above the trunk, displeased. "Where are you going?"

That makes Yuji pause. With his confused eyes and dripping hair, the rain only emphasizes how young he looks. "The train?"

"But that only takes you so far," he says, reaching over to pull Yuji's hood up. "It's another thirty walk after."

It's Yuji's turn to frown. "Yes?"

Repressing a sigh, Nanami glances at his watch. "There's still another 20 minutes before rush hour hits. I suggest we get going now, and we can get to the school in 30 minutes." Opening the driver's side, he gets in and closes the door, cutting off any protest that Yuji has.

Nanami stares into the rearview mirror, seeing Yuji smile as he gently puts the groceries into the back before moving to the passenger side. Turning the ignition, he cranks the heat so it'll be warm by the time the door opens.

He wonders if the store will still be open once he helps Yuji put his groceries away. Not a big deal, Nanami can get takeaway if it comes to it. He also wonders when was the last time that someone offered him a ride that wasn't for a mission. He also wonders how many cans had slipped out of his hand before someone finally offered to pick them up for him.

What Yuji has not accepted, it may seem, was the consistent presence of Nanami Kento.

[fx1600]

Putting this here instead of tags to really drive home that last point. Because believe me I know fully well how anxiety and panic inducing it can be to think someone's waiting on you. To think that the people behind you are waiting, angry, and losing their patience with you. BUT that doesn't matter because PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS AND DRIVE HORRIBLY NOW N DAYS. Everyone's safety is most important and you've gotta remember that because I've had people try to pressure me to go at horrendous moments. I had someone tailgate me so close they almost hit me for slowing to 20 in an active construction zone. I slowed down even FURTHER because there were construction workers STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR and all the lanes were condensing down to one concrete lined lane. And the person behind me wanted me to just speed up and plow through everyone. I've had people honk at me for waiting during a right turn while there were PEDESTRIANS IN THE PATH OF MY CAR

I've had people swerve around me because I wasn't going at a speed where I would LITERALLY LOSE CONTROL OF MY CAR I know driving is scary, it's nerve wracking, that's why you need to take a breath and do whatever you can to keep yourself safe. Because genuinely no one else on the road will care about your safety but you. People would rather risk accidents and killing someone than stay on the road 2 minutes longer than they want to. I don't even care if you're running late! Your class is not worth it. Your job is not worth it. That event that starts at a certain time is definitely not worth it. Because no matter what you could possibly lose from showing up late or irritating someone by driving slow is not at all on the same level as risking the health and safety of yourself and those around you.

I am BEGGING younger drivers. drive carefully. give yourself room. for fuck's sake use your turn signals and don't fucking weave thru traffic. this is not a video game, this is real life and if you get into an accident, you could get killed or kill someone else VERY easily

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

CONGRATULATIONS ON GRADUATING H!! 🥳🥳

May I request a Calum fic where reader is also a singer and after a chill day of running errands and having dinner they go hangout in their home studio. They just fool around making music and maybe they post a clip of what they made to their socials and fans beg them to release a song together. Maybe they do end up doing something low key just for the fans. The whole thing is just super fluffy and they’re the cute musician couple everyone adores 🥰🥰

Thank you!

Also thanks for your patience. I got carried away a bit with this one.

Written for Graduation Blurb Weekend. Going until May 8th. 

Gender Neutral Reader Insert. 

Muses

_________________

You touch your back pockets even before Calum turns to you. The person behind the window seems to be staring blankly after requesting the 58 cents. You find your wallet and some change clinks around. You pray it's enough. Calum’s already pulling his card from one of the slots in his wallet, but he knows. He knows you hate when he uses his card for things so small so he pauses for a moment as he hears you whisper out the command, “Wait.”

“It’s really just a stamp,” Calum counters. 

“No, absolutely not,” you return. Two quarters plop into your hands. Behind it are some dimes, a couple nickels and a handful of pennies. You pick out the correct coinage and hand it over to Calum. Calum passes it over to the attendant. They give it a quick glance over and then tap their keys to get to the register open. 

“Do you need a receipt?” they ask. 

Calum shakes his head no. “Thanks.”

“Of course. Have a great rest of your day.”

The two of you return the sentiment and then move off to the side. The post office seems to be somehow busy even though the morning’s barely broken. Plenty of people are in lines with boxes and slips and it feels silly for Calum not to have stamps to mail off things. But as par for the course, he manages to handle most things electronically. It’s your mail that you needed to send off--a card for a friend who’s a couple states away. You normally do the texts and posts on Instagram. But you still think there’s nothing quite like getting a physical card in the mail. 

“Thanks,” you state to Calum, threading an arm around his. 

“Of course, love,” he returns, smiling at you from behind the sunglasses and trucker cap. “Should we divide and conquer on hair cut and grocery?” His stylist was only a few blocks away from the grocery store. 

You shake your head. “It’s not like your hair takes that long.” 

It was time to clean up the mullet, possibly even say goodbye to it. The thing he didn’t want to happen was that he somehow managed to make some sort of last minute decision about his hair and then delay the rest of the day. “Are you trying to keep me from going green?”

You laugh. “I think you’d look good in a lot of different colors. But I don’t know. I just don’t think green is it for right now.”

“Hmm, just say you don’t love me.” The lights to the SUV blink and Calum opens the door for you. 

Before he can close the door, you lean in closer to him. “I do love you. Just to let all the records show.”

“Yeah, yeah, but you won’t let me dye my hair green and it might as well be the same thing.” He punctuates the jest with a kiss. 

“Lordy,” you mutter and buckle yourself into the truck. The drive is mostly quiet even over the soft voices floating up from the radio. 

“Do you like the mullet?” Calum asks at a stop light. 

“What do you mean?”

Calum gives a shrug, waiting for the light to turn green. A few pedestrian cross in front of the car. “I don’t know. Like, I like it. But you never really said anything about it. I guess I’m just assessing the options.”

You reach out and squeeze his free hand. “I think you should do what makes you happy. The mullet’s been interesting. It’s grown on me. But I’m not with you for your hair, love.”

Calum nods. “I know your favorites though.” The grin on his faces eludes to the nights you two have spent lost in each other. “Blue shave. Short sides, long top. Growing out blonde/a bit of platinum was your peak.”

Your laughter attempts to cover the embarrassment. “Shut up. Also, the blonde was like right at the height of our honeymoon phase. So you can fuck off.”

“Oh I can fuck off, huh? Put that on the to-do list.”

Your giggles escape you in tufts. It’s a ridiculous list. But you lean into the joke and pull out your phone. As you title it, set a date and time, you decide to go as far as inviting Calum to the invite as well. His phone shakes after the event is created. You know he won’t check it for a while, but it’ll be a nice laugh for later. 

The silence after your laughter settles and you turn your attention solely to Calum. The cap creates shadows that caress his full cheeks and though you know it’s just your imagination you imagine the shadows that pass over his face see what you see too. The quiet soul, the boisterous laughter, the animated man when he wants to be that is Calum. You imagine that Calum is also like an electromagnetic field and anyone who settles into his radius is just sucked it. It’s not worth fighting. 

You’d found Calum by what you’d call a fluke. A bar that you frequented hosted open mics and thought you and your songwriting career was already taking off (finally) you still made time to come back, to pay homage and respect to the place that gave you your start. So you waltzed up to the makeshift stage only intending to sing your two latest releases, have maybe one or two drinks and then head back home. 

But after your two songs, while at the bar, Calum approached you. You call it a fluke because after performing you noticed a text from your producer asking if you could come in tonight. And you almost left immediately. But between the folks that came to approach you, you’d been floated up to the bar and then you figured one drink wouldn’t hurt you. And just like that, by the fates of the universe you found yourself in the position for Calum to approach you. 

“You’re staring,” Calum notes, pulling the truck into a space. 

“You’re handsome,” you return and then unbuckle yourself. It’s matter-of-fact and you’ve never exactly been one to hide your thoughts at least from Calum. You were the door that always seemed to cracked ajar. He was the door always closed. And yet, he’d seen your openness and wanted some. 

The two of you walk into the salon and Calum’s stylist greets you both with a smile. She waves him over to her chair and you settle into one of the plush chairs and pick up the latest edition of Vogue to preoccupy yourself. The rush of water, the buzz of clippers, the soft hum of music all mix above you and settle into your ears. You manage occasionally to catch Calum’s laughter ringing above all the sounds. When you glance up, you spot him in all the phases--at the shampoo bowl, waiting with his conditioner, back to the bowl, in the seat again. 

And you only really capture the events in glimpses, looking up to spot him in the area of the salon and then going back to your magazine. You’ve traded Vogue for Rolling Stones and then Rolling Stones for Cosmopolitan. You keep cycling through until you notice a presence creating a shadow over you. When you glance up, you spot Calum, grinning sans his hat. The bushy sides have been taken down, the long back shortened. The top’s been taken down too. The short cut accentuates all the sharp angles of his face. 

“What’s cookin’ good-lookin’?” you tease. 

“Ah, so you do like the mullet,” he teases, holding out a hand. 

“I like it when it’s fresh, if you must know.” As you ascend, you press a kiss to his cheek. 

“That calendar invite, by the way, has been accepted.”

You laugh at the wiggle of his brow. “But first grocery store?”

“Yes, to the grocery store. And we do need to get Duke’s food too.”

“Of course.” 

Duke’s paws click against the hardwood floors and it’s barely audible over the crinkle of the brown paper bags both you and Calum are carrying. Grocery shopping went smoothly and though you got sidetracked looking at vacuums. You wanted a new one, though nothing was wrong with the current one. With Calum at your side, he easily talked you out of it but did make the joke he’d put down as a birthday present. 

“So, burgers for dinner? I am feeling particular lazy,” Calum comments as the last of the grocery are put up. 

“Burgers sound good. Are we finishing the last of those fries too? The frozen ones?”

“We do need space in the freezer, so yes, I think we should.” Calum comments, trying to get the freezer door closed. 

“It’s the damn chili too,” you laugh, thinking about the containers you frozen a couple weeks ago. “I was supposed to take some to the studio this week but never defrosted them in enough time to actually do that, my bad.”

Calum laughs and takes one container down and places it into the fridge. “I’ll bite the bullet this week. But you have to take the other container next week, okay? Promise?”

Wrapping your pinky around his, you nod. “Swear it with a cherry on top.”

“My love, all your sayings are twisted,” he laughs but gets the oven preheating and a pan warming. You pull out the head of lettuce, a tomato, and an onion too. The second the pan sizzles with four patties, a second patty should either one of you want it, you’re already moving to slice and dice. Calum watches the way your forearms tense as you slide the knife through the onion. He knows it’s a small detail, something others might miss, but he follows the line of your body up. When his gaze settles onto your face, he’s so caught in the way your lips sit and your eyes have a small crinkle around them, that he knows is just from all the times you’ve smiled. 

“You’re the kind of person people create art about,” Calum states suddenly. 

You pause your cutting and look up. “I mean, you’re a song writer, so you’re saying you wouldn’t create art about me.” It’s a tease and he knows when you grin. 

“I mean I would and I do sometimes. But I just mean, like I get it now. You know. Why all the classics and all the art I’ve seen and the whole thing about muses. I get it now.”

Setting the knife down, you kiss his cheek. “Also please get our burgers to the other side so they don’t burn.”

With a small hiss, Calum turns back to the pan and gets the patties flipped over. “I’m on it, I promise.”

“Sure you are,” you laugh, one hand sliding between his shoulders and tracing his spine down. But you do get it. What a muse to have in front of you too. 

Since Calum cooked, though you did assist, you clean. The dishes aren’t massively overwhelming as you tried to clean just a little as Calum cooked. You’ve been washing mostly in silence until you catch the distinct plucking of some strings and you listen to Calum as he works. You assume some sort of inspiration as hit him and you’re content just to listen to him as he works from your place in the kitchen. 

The chords keep calling you though and when the sink sucks down the last bit of the sudsy water, you follow the sounds. The music room door is open and you lean up against the molding. Duke’s curled up on his bed next to the desk and Calum’s head is hanging low on his neck as if he needs every sense pressed up against the acoustic guitar to truly feel the emotion. 

Calum hums for a moment and then reaches around the instrument for the legal pad. “Want help or want company?”

“When it’s you, it’s both and I’m happy about it,” he grins. 

You pull the second computer chair from the corner over to his desk. “Play what you’ve got so far.”

“As you request Your Majesty.” 

Calum plucks out only about a verse worth of instrumentals. He plays it once without lyrics and then a second time singing to the lyrics he’s been scribbling down since dinner. You’re tapping the tempo out on your thigh, head reclining into the cushion of the seat. By the time Calum’s voice accompanies the chords, you’re already cooking up something. You turn to the keys against the wall. Your fingers fumble for a moment, but you get your rhythm quickly. Calum grins at the hums you’re giving, almost as if you had lyrics, but weren’t sure about it.

“I love you, but we are not going to try and slot orange into this song,” Calum laughs. He’s moved now to the couch, the guitar covering up this chest as he melts into the cushion. 

You watch your phone, having recorded some of your session just for memory sake. It’s still going and you push away from the computer. You’re trying to see the iambic pentameter of a line and you need the stressing that orange has to fit th line.  “I’m not saying we have to use orange. I’m just saying that word fits the pattern.”

“God, you sound like Luke a little. Let’s take it from the top, yeah. Something will hit us.”

You scoot yourself back to the keys and on Calum’s count, the two of you start the introduction of the song. As your voices mix in the air around you too, you find yourself feeling floaty. It’s the sensation you get when something is mixing just right, when all the sights, and sounds, and chords have mingled so well that it causes your body to almost leave this plane. You are here, but you are also not here. 

The song goes all the down until the final bridge and you two let the sounds of your notes fade out into the echoing room. “Maybe there’s nothing left to say,” Calum offers, his fingers still sliding over the frets. 

“Maybe not,” you agree and then grab your phone to pause the recording. “We can always sleep on it.”

“Let me hear,” Calum asks, sitting up. You play the video for him and he grins during the playback. That’s his love, that’s his muse right there on camera, singing about how the two of you inspire each other. “Should we post a small clip?”

You pause for a moment, feeling the shock pulling up your own brows. “If you’re sure. I know you’re not like, big on posting too much about us. And I respect that. It is a hell of a lot sometimes with the fans. But I don’t want you to feel forced to do it.”

He nods. “I’m sure.” It’s all he says. And for Calum, that’s all he needs to say. He starts to edit down a small clip and then exports it as a secondary video onto your phone. He sends a copy to himself and when his phone shakes with the text, he sets your down. 

There’s a few moments of silence and Calum’s finger tap over his screen. You start saving the stuff on the computer. It’s exporting and you know sometimes it can take a while. Duke pushes up from the bed and waddles out of the room. “I love you, Duke,” you call out after him. But he says nothing in response. “Typical.”

Arms slide around your shoulder and neck, hanging loosely. “So there’s still that calendar invite,” Calum whispers against your ear. 

You hum at the sensation of his breath hitting your skin. “Ah, yes, it would appear so.”

Calum gently pulls you away from the desk. “Shall we?” he grins. 

You laugh, but stand. “We’re getting older. We should stretch first.”

He scoffs, “I am still limber. Thank you very much.”

_____________

You don’t even have a mind to worry about your phone until the next morning. You sit up and reach for your night table only to be greeted just by your alarm clock and the family pictures of you, Calum, and Duke at the park from your first anniversary date. 

Peeling from the sheets, though Calum’s arm is still loosely encasing your waist, you get up and find your phone on the table in the music room. The screen is mostly a mess of notifications from Instagram and you think you really should turn those off at some point. You hadn’t yet out of fear, but now you worry having the notification is doing nothing but draining your phone’s battery life and your mental energy.  As you go to mass clear the notifications, you tap on one and the app opens up. It refreshes; the photos of friends from back home are replaced. The first one you notice is from Calum. The video plays without the sound and it’s the two of you from the night previously. You catch the caption, my muse at work.

[noforkingclue]

Hey what's up. I hope you had a great weekend.

May I please request a Steven Grant x reader where they are in a car chase with some of Marc's enemies who are trying to kill the reader and Steven. Would it be possible if you included the dialogue "There are no red lights in the middle of a car chase."

I hope this did not come across as being bossy, if it has im really sorry.

Have a great week :)

Thank you so much! I’m now on annual leave for two weeks and I’m so happy! Work has been very stressful lately so I’ve desperately needed a break!

Of course this didn’t come across as bossy! I loved Moon Knight and I’m glad I got a some requests for it :D

Hope you enjoy the fic!

Title: Chases

Marvel tag list: @geocookie21​, @greeneyedblondie44​, @purebloodwitch

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary​, @imjustassaneasyou​, @spngingerbread21​, @layazul​, @lov3vivian​

“Turn left! Turn left! Turn left!”

You gritted your teeth as the man in the passenger seat pressed himself further against the car door and gripped the seatbelt tightly.

“I know, Steven,” you said as calmly as you could manage, “I do live in London, y’know. I know which way I need to go.”

“Right,” Steven said awkwardly, “Yeah, I knew that. Silly me.”

“Although who the fuck starts a car chase in central London,” you muttered, “This isn’t a film. There are-“

“Pedestrian!”

“Shit!”

You slammed on the brakes at Steven’s yells and narrowly avoided hitting someone. You glanced at Steven out of the corner of your eye. He had his eyes tightly shut and you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, although this was all Marc’s fault. Who knew that the bastard had so many enemies?

“Look,” you said as you briefly looked into the rear-view mirror, “I’m trying to find a place to dump the car. I think we’ve lost them for the time being. The sooner we get off the road the better.”

“Yeah,” Steven opened his eyes slowly, “Good thing you can drive.”

“Umm.”

You coughed awkwardly and avoided eye contact. Steven sat up straight and the panicked look returned.

“You can drive?” he asked desperately

“Of course I can,” you said, “I wouldn’t be driving in central fucking London if I couldn’t. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“Legally speaking, I can’t.”

“What?”

“I didn’t pass my test. I almost did,” you added quickly, “It’s just my driving instructor was a cu- jerk. He failed me on one stupid little mistake.”

“So you don’t have a licence,” Steven flopped back in his seat, “Great. We are breaking so many laws right now.”

“Now see-“

You didn’t get to finish your sentence before another car slammed into the back of yours. You swore and glared at them in the mirror.

“One good thing,” you muttered as people jumped out of the way, “No guns.”

“What a relief,” said Steven, “Marc doesn’t agree though.”

“Well tell Marc that he’s a dick.”

“He heard you.”

“Good.”

You gripped the steering wheel tightly as you desperately tried to lose the cars that were chasing you. Part of you was glad that it was Steven next to you, while the other part secretly wished that it was Marc. Marc was more used to situations like these and would’ve been able to lose the cars quicker than you could. Well, at least you hoped he could. You glanced at Steven again who looked like he was slowly recovering.

“Y/n-“

But you still needed to get rid of those damn cars.

“Y/n-“

If only you could find a place to dump your car then run to underground. Hopefully you’d be able to lose then in there and-

“Red light!”

“Fuck.”

You didn’t have time to hit the brakes and you narrowly avoided hitting another person. Steven was gripping the seat belt again and he said weakly,

“You skipped a red light.”

“There are no red lights in the middle of a car chase,” you said, “We really need to get out of London.”

“You’re being very sensible.”

You snapped your head around to glare at Steven. You opened your mouth to argue back when you realised that you had taken your eyes off the road. You jerked your head back just as the steering wheel slipped from your grasp. As quickly as that had happened a hand shot out a grabbed your hand, steadying the wheel.

“Not very sensible,” Marc voice seemed to cut through the noise like a knife, “Maybe Steven needs his view reassessed.”

You swallowed thickly as Marc remained near as he helped you steady the car. With your eyes firmly locked on the road in front of you, Marc looked behind.

“Well done,” he said, “You’ve managed to lose them. Good girl.”

You wrinkled your nose at Marc’s words which earned a chuckle from him. As he relaxed back into his seat you said,

“Should I asked why those people were chasing us?”

“Best not to worry about it.”

“Even if not knowing is why Steven and I get killed?”

“You won’t. I have faith in you.”

“Glad to hear it. Where to now? Hey are you sleeping?”

Marc, who did have his eyes shut, open one eye and said,

“Preferably out of the city. I trust you to keep us all safe.”

You remained silent as Marc shut his eyes again. You weren’t expecting Marc to say that or the odd feeling that you got in the pit of your stomach at his words. What you did know was that nothing good was going to come from it.

[jayjtheunsispiciousmelodicathem]

Since it’s Autism Awareness Month I have something to say

So I’m on the Autism spectrum, and one thing that really annoys me, angers me in fact, is how the neurotypicals react to our explanations of our behaviours or the way they tend to connect our awareness of our problems and our actions.

When I was younger I would often react with anger to being made fun of and bullied so I got in trouble pretty much all the time (besides that I was a good kid) and my mum often grounded me for that (which is fair, although at least half the cases was unjust because I only tried to defend myself or was pretty obviously provoked or tricked into. I never got an apology for any one of those unfair groundings but that’s besides the point).

Every time I was getting the talk, she told me something along the lines of “using your Asperger’s [yes, I know it’s not the proper term anymore, this was at least ten to six years ago and I’m only quoting] as an excuse will not get you out of trouble when you’re older”.

The problem?

I have never in my life used my neurodivergence as an excuse for my actions

You know how parents keep blaming the phones, internet etc for every single one of our problems? Yeah it’s kinda like that

I have never mentioned autism, not even in a walk-around way when explaining why I did something that I did - I only explained the cause and result e.g. “he kept mocking me, I told him to stop and he didn’t, I yelled at him to stop and he still didn’t, so I got angry”

When I do, however, mention neurodivergence, it’s when I’m explaining some of my behaviours that some people might find bizarre but not harmful to anyone, or explaining why I am so socially inept in person, or why I can’t do something as well as others can, or why I can’t get myself to read a new book or start a new show, or “properly” review material for school. That’s right, EXPLAINING.

For some reason most neurotypicals I’ve met think of explanations and excuses as synonymous, exactly the same even, and that’s what makes me angry.

Is gravity an excuse for things falling down? No, it’s an explanation Is needing oxygen an excuse for breathing? No, it’s an explanation Is being hungry an excuse for eating? No, it’s an explanation Is wanting to spend time with people and have some fun an excuse for going out or to a party? No

Excuses are half-assed, feeble, made out of laziness, and generally untruthful.

Explanations while not always strong due to one’s potential hardships with argumentation, are always made bona fide and in hope of the other side understanding why something happened.

I can’t do shit in PE because my neurodivergence affects my motor skills and makes me self conscious all the time because I’m around like 15 people less than half of which I can say something about beyond their appearance.

I can’t take good notes and review material like most other students do, because my neurodivergence affects the way I proccess and memorise information, so before I’m done writing down the first thing in a legible manner and so that I could gain info from it later, the teacher is ten sentences ahead already. I much better memorise by listening.

I don’t go to parties because my neurodivergence makes it suffering for me to spend time in a loud place where there are more than a hundred people who could judge me for anything and everything, including my lack of dancing skills which stems from the aforementioned lack of motor ability.

I don’t want to learn to drive because my neurodivergence keeps me from focusing on the road, which makes me not notice the potential pedestrians crossing the or makes me zone out and just drive as if there was only road before me and nothing else. Also my neurodivergence makes it very stressful for me to drive a car for reasons stated above as well as having to remember so many things at once is overwhelming, and it’s overall uncomfortable for me to drive.

I can’t clean the room up to my parents’ standards (even though it’s not that messy at all???) because with my neurodivergence it’s more comfortable for me to have my items arranged the way they are as it makes things easier for me to find, and I need a lot of things to be at hand.

These are just some of examples from my own experience, but somehow my mother still doesn’t understand I never make excuses.

So for Autism Awareness Month I want all neurotypicals/Allistics to know the difference and that

WE DON’T MAKE EXCUSES, WE OFFER EXPLANATIONS

please spread the word

[redheadconfections]

AOT Driving Headcanons!

Yeah, we’re doing this. Set in modern AU

Eren

Believes he’s an excellent driver. 

Sometimes gets distracted by his own thoughts.

Refuses to listen to music because it distracts him. He takes driving safely a little too seriously.

Got extremely frustrated when he failed his driver’s test the first time.

Mikasa

Always drives at exactly the speed limit.

Doesn’t mind listening to music but doesn’t really listen to it because she’s focused on the road.

If she’s driving with someone else, does that thing where she holds her arm out to protect the other person when she hits the brakes hard.

Almost never gets distracted.

Passes her driver’s test the first time.

Overall almost a perfect driver.

Armin

Is so nervous.

Knows all the rules and has memorized exactly what all the signs mean, what to do in certain situations, etc. He’s pretty much memorized his whole driver’s ed book. 

Always lets pedestrians pass, sometimes to the annoyance of other drivers behind him.

Always looks at an exact map of the route he needs to take before going; memorizes where the rest stops are, all the turns, pretty much every detail of the trip beforehand. If you are driving with him, you don’t even need to remind him to turn up ahead - he already knows to.

Slams the brakes hard first time he sees a deer and almost gets rear-ended by the car behind him. Has a really hard time calming down afterwards.

Jean

Tries to abide by all the traffic laws unless he believes they’re unreasonable.

Has no problem listening to music without getting distracted and listens to it constantly.

Road rage. Awful road rage. “OH MY GOD ARE YOU BLIND? THE LIGHT’S GREEN GO!!!!”

Slams the brakes hard.

Gets mad at other people speeding but then always goes at least 3 miles above the speed limit.

Sasha

Gets distracted so easily, especially by roadside attractions or animals. (*points* “COWS!”)

Also gets really nervous when she makes a mistake and has driving anxiety.

Blasts the music loud and sings along.

Would probably cry if another driver cussed her out or got really angry at her.

Connie

Also believes he’s an excellent driver. (”I’m an excellent driver.” *runs over a squirrel*)

Has definitely drove past a stop sign/red light before because he got distracted and didn’t see it. 

Sharp turns.

If he sees a dog in the car next to him, he will not move from that spot until another driver honks their horn at him.

Overall probably the worst driver in the 104th.

Levi

Doesn’t have much road rage, but will flip people off occasionally.

Speeds but flips other people off when they speed.

Knows how to fix a car pretty well and how they work.

Will cut people off if they’re being assholes.

Hange

Finds cars fascinating and also knows how to fix them.

Knows all the rules to driving just like Armin.

Will not let anyone tell them how to drive because they believe they know exactly what they’re doing.

Likes to listen to music while driving.

Can be careful if they need to be.

Ymir

Also bad road rage.

Speeds but not as often as Jean or Levi.

Can also get distracted sometimes talking to the person next to her.

Also slams the brakes hard.

If she sees a bird in the middle of the road, swerves around it instead of stopping. If she can’t do that, she stops and yells at it to move the fuck out of the way.

Historia

Is pretty nervous but is still a pretty good driver. Never really speeds and has no trouble with directions.

Can get mad at other drivers but doesn’t really show it.

Sometimes talks on the phone while driving which is the only time she’ll ever really get distracted.

Has no problem driving other people places. Need a ride? She’s always up for it.

Always stops for animals in the road, whether it’s a deer, a squirrel, or the smallest little pigeon.

Reiner

Is a pretty good driver and is also pretty calm, but one time he almost hit a deer and lowkey kinda panicked and had trouble calming down.

Kinda speeds a lot but still has somehow never even gotten close to an accident (except for the deer thing).

Is much more careful when driving with someone else.

If he’s angry while driving, drives much more aggressively (faster and with sharper turns).

Bertholdt

Is also a pretty good driver, surprisingly calm and knows what he’s doing.

Rarely gets distracted, unless he’s really nervous about something in which case he might get lost in thought.

Overall, almost as good a driver as Mikasa.

Makes sure everyone is safe and wearing their seatbelts before taking off.

Annie

Speeds. And does not give a shit if you criticize her driving. Has still never come close to an accident.

Is super focused and follows all of the rules except for the speed limit.

Rarely talks while driving.

Got pulled over for speeding once. Was kind of annoyed by receiving a ticket but didn’t really show it.

[drkxsh]

If These guys were Gangsters

Follow up from the last post

Mammon

• Mammon rides solo which makes him more of a plug, since he’s real scary but them witches might as well be a gang themselves

• He takes you out for drives at night since you’re busy in the day. His clients usually invite him to these crazy parties or get togethers so he likes to take you with him

• You spend most of your time together in the car so prepare for him to talk your ear off when he’s driving.

• He loves things that aren’t his so if you’re seeing someone else that’s right up his alley. He doesn’t like fighting but he fights baby and he shoot back if he gotta. He’s so fun and open that you gone leave yo old hoe.

• He’s the type to purposely break your window, claim it was an accident just so he can sneak in when he pleases.

• Like I said he gets into a lot so he tries a lot of things. Like piercing himself, he’s gonna fake like he can’t do it so you can be on him but if your scared he’ll do it himself until you can’t watch anymore and he’ll stop. He likes reactions so he’s gonna manipulate his actions to get them.

• Now Mammon is about his money so if by any chance he gets robbed… you won’t have a man cause he’s gonna die about his money

• Speaking of money if you do a lil dance you will get some bills thrown your way. He’s banned from every strip club cause he likes to steal the money so you don’t have to worry about that.

• Mammon’s Instagram attracts the masses cuz u know… HE GOT THAT SHIT ON. He fly asf, he gets distracted at the ladies in his comments… and on the block but he has self control.

• He doesn’t wanna disrespect you, but he will unknowingly test his limits. He loves his clients and the money he makes.

Lucifer

• He’s the corrupt Mayor

• It depends on who you are, if you’re more of a hood rat or you volunteer. He doesn’t care he like it all as long as you can listen and act right when the time come

• Behind close doors I know Lucifer loves all that ghetto shit. Yell, talk back, get mad, roll your eyes, twerk with no music, blast music in the burbs, because at the end of the day Lucifer always has the upper hand because he simply knows he does. You WILL do whatever he says.

• He doesn’t ask for much just sit pretty and count his money. That’s all he needs and you will have everything you want.

• Just don’t let him catch you where you’re not supposed to be.

• He really doesn’t want you around while he works, he makes you count money so you won’t wanna follow him. He already knows how much it is, he’s always scheming to have a child- I mean to have something to keep you occupied.

• he is the Mayor so you’ll have to go out the community and give little speeches. He’ll tell you what to say and it’s probably the worst time you’ll ever have. There’s a tremendous award if you do it right.

• Lucifer is quiet so he’s a whisperer which means he like to get up close. Especially behind closed doors, he even keeps some of your things in his desk drawer.

• He goes to the gun range on his free time. Whenever he feels you staring too hard, he’ll smile slightly, look back at his target and miss

• He loves it when you put him on, music, dances, food trends, jewelry. He likes when you try on new styles, even if doesn’t like it he’ll never say it to your face

Asmodeus

• Now Asmo isn’t the gang type, I really put him here cause you know. He’s a pedestrian around the block. But I got something for him.

• Asmo be outside, every block party, every club, every stripper know him. If you don’t know Asmo you don’t be outside.

• I can’t even imagine Asmo smoking but he’s got a few pics of him. He’s held a firearm like once. He doesn’t drive or work but he takes Miami trips.

• He’s a scammer and you gotta pay to learn his methods. He does hair, nails and designs clothes so I guess he does work but not for real.

• You’ve got to be one fly bitch to get Asmo’s attention because if he doesn’t know you like him and you hang around him, you’ll be heartbroken at the sights you see

• Don’t look through his phone either, or his contact names… probably not his snap either

• Since you are that bitch, big money Asmo will buy anything for you and fly you out. He’ll also delete every number, he gone act right when he gets cuffed.

• He does all the holiday couple stuff, takes your pictures and posts you everywhere. Just be his test dummy for his new wig and nail colors.

Beel

• For the sake of, we’re gonna say you also don’t know they sellin crack out the family restaurant.

• He starts out subtle, giving you extra food and telling you not to worry about it. Making you sweets and telling you that it’s only a test item for the day.

• He’s pretty formal so he’ll ask you out, then you decide to surprise him because he said he was at work. When you got there he wasn’t in the kitchen or behind the register. So now you think he’s cheating.

• You text him and he doesn’t answer so you leave, he calls you when he gets off and invites you to his place. He doesn’t sound like he’s trying to hide anything cause he’s a bad liar so you go.

• So you told him what happened and he says that he was working in the back the whole day. He complains how it’s not his favorite cause it’s messy and the clean up takes forever.

• So you like cool he probably seasoning and prepping meats. So as time goes on the people know you and are cool with letting you come through the kitchen

• So he tells you to pull up during a slow day while he’s in the back… he opens the door for you and why do you see a full wash and set crack lab. You’re stunned cause you’ve been dating a dealer this whole time. Like the mayor Lucifer walk through this bitch and pay him big money.

• Beel doesn’t care cause that money is sweet and it keeps him beyond feed. You can’t care enough cause Beel’s favorite thing is to sneak peeks at your phone and buy whatever you’re looking at without asking.

• All of Beel’s friends are gangsters and dealers that come through the restaurant. He’s cool, level headed, likes to eat, play sports and always where you can find him.

• They tend to purposely make him mad and put him against strong guys just so they can bet, $100 a seat and his friends don’t like to fumble bags.

• A cool dude that keep his baby fly and well fed

Diavolo

• He may not know exactly what he’s doing, but all he knows is that he has to make money and he has to have people under him. Good thing he’s charismatic and a natural born hustler, a go getter

• Once he’s comfortable at the top he’ll be focused on other things. Like you, he sees you with one of his guys and he wants in. Who doesn’t want the man on top?

• He has like this natural sense of responsibility and an instinct to spoil you. So once he has you, you start to to know all the tea.

• Mfs cannot stand how Diavolo eased his way to the top and can actually do it right so he got opps. He’s not a killer but people push him, now you watch him sing apologies on the news, preaching about less violence.

• He’s got the mayor scared sometimes because even though Lucifer chose the route of the mayor, Diavolo took it a step further so Lucifer comes to Diavolo with all his street problems

• Diavolo can still live his life with you and have ample amount of free time. He has to be in hiding most of the time anyways

• Per usual you get what you want when you’re with him. You easily double cross or murder him he won’t fight back but his men would, that’s just the type of guy he is

• You almost wouldn’t think he was a simp or a killer when you first meet him. That’s why he’s dangerous too bad he can’t read a room. Good thing he has you to explain it to him when he comes back home and tells you the tea.

Barbatos

• A real menace, cold blooded and hearted killer. A true deceiver and a man of many crafts almost like he’s lived a few lives.

• Freak hoes are my favorite out the labels. He’s a big one, he was pimping at one point so he knows a few things. Keeps a few playthings in circulation so if you think your a main you’re mistaken

• If you piss him off your getting robbed and roasted, start acting up and he will just shoot you. He’s got money to make but he’s also got fighting words.

• If you get random jewelry gifts you walking around with dead money around your neck. He only works for Diavolo and he’s the best at cleaning up his loose ends.

• If you see him more than just the weekends that means Diavolo is probably laying low and that means he is too, and you just happen to always have nothing going on.

• If you continuously say stuff he likes that catches him off guard he might settle down. He’s like a completely different person behind closed doors. Peace really changes a person.

•He’s really petty so if one of old hoes give him a look he’ll smile and kiss you in front of them. You just think he’s being sweet cause he’s so slick. He’s grimy so cross him and he’s sending pics of him with your whole family if that’s what it takes to get back at you.

Simeon

• If Barbatos needs a favor he’s gonna ask Simeon. Simeon doesn’t fight or shoot back but he’s a trickster and he’s convincing. He’s seen a lot but he doesn’t do much. Plus Barbatos is the only one he would never backstab.

• He doesn’t tell anyone he has a son so if you know that Luke is his son then you’re special. The most people know is that Luke sells mini cakes and Simeon drives for the deliveries.

• Simeon hustle too, how do you think that crack in that restaurant be getting around?

•Simeon has face so he gets hit on by all the customers but he’s loyal and he’s got a kid to feed. That’s why he doesn’t do too much, Luke the first priority.

• When he comes back home to see you and Luke icing his cakes he feels less guilty. Easy money is still good money but one day he’ll leave it behind.

• Very affectionate, visits you at work with food. Takes you out all the time, cooks, hard to imagine what he does for money.

• Very clean, doesn’t take anything from work back with him, immediately takes a shower when he walks through the door. Luke is a fed fr so he absolutely can’t be caught lackin.

• He could start sellin plates but Beel would run him out of business like he does Luke. He does preorders for the regular public.