#but those posts haven’t been invented yet

[roughroadhaley]

i don’t think it is humanly possible for the Robby-Johnny relationship to be as good as the writers want me to believe it currently is going, but i also don’t think it’s going half as bad as people on here or on reddit say it is, so it is incredibly challenging for me to find posts I agree with about them anywhere

[bloodibambiidoll]

The copying in the Outer Banks fandom has gotten completely out of hand. I am not only speaking for myself, but for people who I’ve also witnessed this happening to. It seems that some of you have the mentality of “oh! Well this has probably been done before in fanfiction so it’s not copying because they didn’t invent it!” But if you see someone’s post, and take inspiration from it IN ANY WAY, you need to credit them for it.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a moodboard of a fic they haven’t posted yet. Or just a simple thought they put out into the universe. Even if you use someone’s gif they took the time to make and share, there needs to be credit. I think the over abundance of !Readers has made a lot of regurgitation happening between blogs in this fandom. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t write them, but they’re all the same. Spice it up. And when there is something new? I see it ripped off over and over again until it’s like a telephone game and the original poster is lost in the wind.

It fucking HURTS to put your time, creativity, energy, and care into something and then see someone else take your idea, not even make it their own, and then proceed to give you zero credit for it. Taking inspiration from people is a fundamental human reaction that every person does. But it doesn’t matter if it was malicious. It still hurts just the same. I have posted moodboards teasing my AUs and have had people take that idea and write it before I can ever even post my fic. It fucking sucks. It’s discouraging. And it’s just fucking rude and inconsiderate as hell.

On top of that, it’s fucking boring. Why would you want to march to the beat of every other person in this fandoms drum? Fanfiction is about being whoever the fuck you want, writing whatever the fuck you want, but it seems like people care more about notes and what others think than the actual content they’re putting out. This fandom needs to be less about the aesthetics and more about the content. I’m tired of reading the same thing over and over again. I’m tired of the 500-1k blurbs that throw me right into the smut with no plot or backstory.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a little smut blurb down, but when it’s all you see? It’s gets old. But that being said, the lack of support on longer fics, smut, and angst, is extremely discouraging to writers and it causes us to not want to take the time and effort to write those longer things because while notes aren’t everything, feeling unappreciated in any capacity is shitty. It’s a byproduct of itself.

We need to be more courteous of others. There needs to credit given when inspiration is taken from others. There needs to be less worry about what other people like, what other people will think and more focus on the creativity and the fun of fanfiction. Something needs to change because I have been seeing this almost daily. I have had friends and mutuals coming to me for these exact feelings I’m feeling and it’s discouraging and exhausting to see. There’s also this fear around calling people out for stealing because whenever someone does, hell rains down on them. It’s not cute. People should be allowed to defend their creativity on their own blog.

And they wouldn’t have to. If everyone just started giving credit where credit is due.

[anemoiashifts]

why everyone is manifesting but you.

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manifestation — the law of attraction / assumption — is a simple concept. in basic terms, you live in the state of the wish filled, imagine what it is it like to have that desire, persist in it & boom, it’s yours.

so if it’s such a simple concept & you’ve really, really tried why don’t you have an additional million dollars in your bank account ? why hasn’t your celebrity crush slid into your dm’s yet ? & if you’re someone who frequents this side of the internet, why haven’t you shifted yet despite doing everything “correctly” ?

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this post isn’t a “how to manifest” or “how to fix your mindset”. this post may have insight that I have found by looking inward that may resonate with a few. this isn’t overnight & for a handful it could take a little while to make this adjustment to not fall back into headspace’s that harm you. despite being on the side of manifestation, this is something I still find myself struggling with so that’s proof in itself that you aren’t the only one. & heads up, this post is a long one. i tried to shorten it but was unable to cut too much since i do think everything I wrote is important.

“why is everyone over complicating shifting, it’s so easy, it’s so simple, we shift every second, you just do it ?”

.ᐟ — while all of the above may be true for some people, step into the shoes of someone who is so deep in self loathing, low self confidence & doubt. how about we look at it from the perspective of someone who was told “to make a lot of money you must work hard” ? those two examples I listened are beliefs. to make room for new stuff, we must declutter and toss away junk that we don’t need anymore. junk, stuff that we don’t use anymore = old beliefs.

sometimes we still sleep with old baby blankets that we’ve placed sentimental value on that are no more then three strands of yarn & ready to fall apart. just because as a child you couldn’t sleep without it, you are old enough to know that you are capable of sleeping without it but yet it’s becomes something you place on your bed every night.

focusing on the second example of “you must work hard to make a lot of money”. that is obviously a belief that has been said to someone. that’ll stick & you now associate slaving away at a nine to five (hard work) to make money (reach your desire). because it doesn’t feel like you aren’t putting in any hard work when you’ve been conditioned to believe that is how you will obtain money, you will struggle with truly believing you are capable of attracting money with only your thoughts.

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.ᐟ — i was looking for a good example to add to this post & i found it looking through the neville goddard subreddit. phones began as something to make phone calls. no touch screen, no apps like you’re probably using right now, no texting, no facetime, no camera and no taking it with you. for the younger generation didn’t grow up with rotary phones & were born during a time where the second existed, they know how to work that technology. people who were used to phones only being able to making calls, struggle to learn at the same pace as everyone else because the belief that a phone can do all these things & not just make phone calls is a new concept, a new belief, in comparison to when the telephone was first invented. when you’ve gone your whole life using something one way for so long, it can be difficult to introduce new ideas. an elderly women who has a modern smartphone is aware that it can do all these amazing things but hasn’t learnt how to use the technology yet.

going back to an example I mentioned above regarding self loathing & self doubt, when someone has those kinds of thoughts it has the ability to sabotage everything you do. to add more weight to this, what about people who overthink & imagine every little thing that could go wrong ? those thoughts are clouding our desires & constantly making people second guess themselves which is the opposite of persisting in the end state of the wish fulfilled.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

.ᐟ — when I say it’s simple, I do not mean it is easy. more so, it’s easy to understand. you are what you believe. you see everyone else getting their desires & how well manifestation worked for them — but not you. “why not me ?” because you aren’t like everyone else. everyone comes from a different background, a different income level, different mental struggles, some people are simply more logical. every single person has different beliefs instilled into them.

truly the hard part about manifesting is learning to let go & define what your limiting beliefs are. the hard part is saying “i love myself & im grateful to be alive” when you’ve thought “i hate myself & i don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning” for years. its hard to remember to correct yourself when you find yourself using that langue; ignoring & becoming indifferent to a situation that effects you so deeply. some people can’t afford to ignore the 3d & have to actively engage with it which only reinforces beliefs.

i know i just went on for paragraphs about how difficult it can be to manifest or make the effort to learn how to unlearn things, but it’s not impossible. manifesting is as simple as going to sleep & knowing we will wake up the next morning. you are constantly manifesting. coming across this post & seeing it is manifesting too.

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.ᐟ — the only advice that i feel confident in giving that would mostly apply to everyone is watch what you say & be more compassionate to yourself. extending kindness to yourself can go a long way. give yourself some grace if things don’t always turn the way you hoped they would, as you’re one step closer to receiving it. try to recognize your automatic thoughts that come to mind throughout the day. question why you believe certain things to be true about yourself.

the “key” to everything — manifestation, shifting, starting a successful business, learning how to drive — is being able to get back up on your own two feet when you’ve been knocked down. that persistence, that trying to change your situation is the first step. acknowledging what you want even if it’s just saying “I want to change” is massive & a step many too fearful to consider.

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if you’re one of the people who read everything & made it this far, thank you (ㅅ´ ˘ `)✧ !!

[perryavenue]

rainjoy Has A New Post. It's Personal

rainjoy is one of my favorite Klaine fanfic authors. Their first Klaine fanfic was published on LiveJournal in 2011, their last in 2021. Health issues have become more intense over time. Their most famous works, All The Other Ghosts and Grey, were published in 2012 and 2013. So those who've joined the fandom fairly recently may not even know about their other fics, the most recent one being from 2021. rainjoy has written Klaine in every genre: high school!Klaine, college!Klaine, married!Klaine, supernatural!Klaine, fantasy!Klaine, and even superhero!Klaine.

Here is a link to rainjoy's works on Live Journal

Here's a link for Dreamwidth

I hope that you'll help boost it by re-blogging. Thanks in advance, @klaineccfanficlibrary and @todaydreambelieversfic

This is rainjoy's post from today (October 27, 2023).

"Hello, I’m still alive.

Hello, I do mean it, hello anybody around to see this, I really hope you’ve been well, I’m sorry I haven’t been around, I *haven’t* been well. But I have, over a course of fucking months, actually written something, so I’m writing *this* here so I don’t need to leave a novel-length author’s note on it, as some kind of explanation of where I’ve been.

Largely, I’ve been in bed, I’m likely going there again after posting this, they need to invent new words for how tired I am so much of the time, my upgraded wheelchair is worth about as much as my *laptop*, my life revolves around Can I? Probably not. and lots and lots and lots of ‘resting’. I’ve not been well, but please don’t worry, I’ve not been unhappy. This is the golden age of being ill, the sheer quantity of stuff out there to amuse the bedbound – I have books and podcasts, all of Netflix, I practically live on Sky: Children of the Light, when I’m too dopey even for that I have Animal Crossing, when I am genuinely such a puddle of not-human lethargy that all I need is for time to pass until I feel just slightly better again I have videos of other people playing video games on YouTube and I’m sorry my darling baby moths I will pick you up and help you every single time but it will never not be funny watching someone go through Eden for the first time on YouTube, it just never will not make me laugh, oh my gods I’m so *sorry* my loves <3

So anyway, there’s all that, that’s where I’ve been, life really does not work out the way you planned it to, huh? Because outside of my bed, I know I have messages and emails and someone got a tattoo?? You got a tattoo and I’m just really sorry I haven’t been in touch, my energy has to be paid out like a miser, if I want to wash my hair then wow the world is really not getting anything else out of me, you know? But I am still here, and I do still love the things I love. I still think all of it is worth it. I think the world is a *lot* of fun, though I bear in mind that still, and always, we live through very frightening and distressing times. Which actually makes me think we need to cling to the things we love *more*, not less, love makes better people of us, when we let it.

So I did watch the new season of Good Omens when it came out, and safe to say I was not impressed, but it did jog in me the memory that didn’t I write a sequel to it? Yes I did, and it involved *all* that blood. But I reread it – it’s like reading a stranger’s writing after so long – and that jogged the memory: Didn’t you start a sequel to *this*?

Yes I did! Two thirds written, actually, hurrah for my past self. The last third took, I don’t know, when did the new season come out, it took that long. I used to sneeze out this sort of thing. This, now, is getting at my arms, it’ll be another lie down soon. But anyway, the point of all this: I live yet. In the next few days I *hope* I will be formatting and posting a sequel to But Thou Readst Black because of course everyone wants *that* back in their heads again, my gods. And I hope hope hope you’ve been well, I do think of people while I’m stuck doing nothing but pooling my brain out of my ears on YouTube. Look after yourselves, take care of each other, my gods you tattooed yourself I mean more power to you but it alarms me when things I make turn out to be *permanent*, you know? It feels like I barely touch the world anymore, my circumference has become so small, but it makes the world seem only more precious. Take good care of it, and of yourself as part of it. And very, very much love, to anyone remaining to see this, much love <3"

[aquabuggy]

“Imagination, life is your creation”

Say, what band was it that wrote that song again? Escapes me… Oh well, anyways,

Happy Barbie Movie Release Day!

It’s nice to feel excited about something again.

It’s not every day you see a toy product centered movie gaining this much positive attention, much less one that deals in the existential horror of being alive. Which is, actually, exactly what I expected out of it and am very happy to see.

Barbie’s probably one of if not the most recognizable and successful product Mattel has, and it’s been that way for decades. But why am I talking about that here? This is a things-full-of-liquid-with-heavy-emphasis-on-water-games blog!

Well, you’re not gonna believe it, but Mattel being a toy company that’s been around for this long, has actually dabbled a bit in our territory! And they actually made a good couple of water games themed around a certain blonde blue eyed doll and her best friends!

So! Without further ado, may I present to you……..

Polly Pocket Tiny Games!

What? Was that not where you thought that was going?

Believe it or not, there really aren’t many Barbie water games at all, just cheaply reskinned ring toss games with a Barbie backdrop…which is both baffling and disappointing considering Barbie has had COUNTLESS beach, pool, sea, and just general water themes. Polly Pocket though? Got 6. You may recognize these if you’re a veteran of this blog.

Being one of Mattel’s latest ventures in water games, my sources tell me that these were actually received incredibly poorly, averaging at a 2-3 star rating. While definitely cute and unique, reviews often mention that the games seem to be designed more for aesthetics than actual play, and that it’s very hard to get some of the play pieces to actually move. Not too surprising looking at those cramped tanks. Wasted potential for sure!

Ohhh but I can’t just end the post there can I? That’s such a bummer! Well, what if I told you this wasn’t the first time Mattel tried their hand at making water games? What if I told you that in 1989 Mattel was one of the few big toy companies that actually dared to challenge the reign of Tomy’s Waterfuls during the peak of its popularity? Oh it’s very true, and considering you’ve probably never heard of it, you can safely assume how that endeavor went. But it’s intriguing nonetheless!

Introducing….

[ photo credit- rww121212, lb-squared, whats-in, and gilbe-niema on eBay ]

Trouble Bubbles/Fun Bubbles

Documentation of these online is mostly limited to listings on buy-and-sell sites (As always. I can’t stress how vital these sites are to conserving lost/obscure media.) so there’s not a lot known about these, and not many pictures of them either. What I can gather is that Mattel made at least 6 of these as well, 3 Trouble Bubbles games and 3 Super Trouble Bubbles games. The main difference between the 2 being Super Trouble Bubbles having a small switch that allows you to redirect the jets of water, which is pretty cool and admittedly not something I’ve seen in other water games! Both also have a wind up timer to challenge yourself to complete the game in a short period.

I’ve yet to collect one of these myself, but they look pretty decent in terms of quality and stand out nicely. They never fully took off in terms of popularity but I think they’re pretty cool, especially as a piece of toy history! Not too shabby at all for Waterfuls competition, my hat’s off to them! Not bad Mattel, sad they haven’t recaptured the same inventiveness for their Polly games. But hey, honestly? Nowadays would be a GREAT time to bring back Trouble Bubbles if you ask me. Water games are coming back in style and Waterfuls has been slow in new major products for quite a while. Who knows? It may just be able to snag that crown sometime in the future…

Unlikely.

But hey, anything’s possible in this crazy age!

[sitp-recs]

Eager for the Sky by @oknowkiss

Harry/Draco, minor Harry/Ron and Draco/Blaise (2022, Mature, 35k)

It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast. A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup. In which Harry is Hogwarts' star Seeker, Draco is on the bench, and they both have a thing or two to learn about playing for the same team.

Draco hated that, the way Potter would sneak up on him, proving he’d been listening. He had always seemed to be caught up in his own head, never paying attention to anything or anyone but himself, but now that Draco was starting to know him, he was beginning to see the truth of Potter.

When I started this blog over two years ago, I’d write (smaller, but still) recs for every fic I liked. At some point I was reccing up to 3 fics a day and started bookmarking them all to keep track of my own recs - maybe that’s why I got more than 600 bookmarks lol - and it was really fun and fulfilling, but it also demanded A LOT of time and energy. As they both became scarce, I changed strategies and decided to only rec fics that touched me in a more personal way. These days I write recs mostly on a whim; it happens less and less because I’m not reading as much, sure, but also because it needs to be a frantic urge, almost like a trance, and it needs to hit me right after I’m finished a fic otherwise it won’t be fresh in my mind.

I’ve wanted to rec something from E for so long and after being left intrigued and impressed by any day now and licence to kill (two solid recs if you haven’t read those yet!) I couldn’t see what was holding me back. Now I ask myself if I had been waiting for Eager for the Sky. And not necessarily because it’s the perfect fit for my tastes - in fact, I barely read or care for 8th year fics nowadays - but because this fic found me at the moment I needed it the most. Coming back from a brief hiatus (that felt longer than life itself) right before Christmas last year, I can say that reading this was a refreshing and lovely experience, but also magical in many ways. And funnily enough, this rec has been sitting in my drafts, half-finished, since January. Once again, something I couldn’t figure out was holding me back until I saw this gorgeous binding post by @a-gay-old-time (go check it right now!!) and I accidentally found out that last week was E’s one year fandomversary! Perfect timing to wrap this up and post it as a humble homage to one of the authors whose talent I’ve enjoyed and admired the most in the past year. What a gift to have you in this fandom, and what a privilege to read this incredible 8th year romance!

Way beyond the delight of watching Draco and Harry fall in love over the course of a (very cool and inventive) Quidditch championship, I was so touched by the amount of tenderness, youth and heart this story coveys. There is something unbearably sweet about an enemies to friends to lovers journey that explores the wonders of being young and free to flirt, experience and discover. I could feel the joy of falling in love all over again through every line here, through every knowing smile and surreptitious touch. The slow burn is masterfully done in a way that never feels empty, boring or dragged. Every little moment brings new discoveries about each other and is important to bring them together as friends, and then as lovers.

It’s worth mentioning that there’s a fair amount of longing, UST and some infuriating delicious cockblocking but somehow the way it’s written and the context it’s given make the experience even sweeter and more rewarding. I was in no rush to see this over and found it very charming that they saw value in wanting, teasing, flirting, chasing. Because I really ready young Drarry I had almost forgotten how fun a pining Draco can be in all his teenage complexity, capable of signaling confidence, vulnerability, inadequacy and tenderness all at once.

His emotions felt so very real I could feel a lump in my throat, and I was especially moved by his genuine response to Harry’s prior involvement with Ron (Be still my Rarry heart!!! For those wondering: this is a minor but significant plot point that made my heart ache and grow twice its size, I’m so soft for this brOTP! By the way - side Rarry & Blaco? A fic after my own heart!). Even more brilliant is the fact that E published Eager for the Sky and July Tree pretty much back to back and these two fantastic 8th year tales complement each other perfectly. They got a very different tone from her usual edgy “mature Drarry” which I also love - and maybe that’s why I was caught off guard by how fast I felt emotionally connected to this softer, more innocent brand of love. Not to mention that superb art by @upthehillart - killing me softly as per usual, with the ultimate teenage Drarry headcanon what a treat!!

This fic was exactly what I needed and it gave me the delicious catharsis I was looking for without really knowing. It pulled me back into the fandom with its light, easy, unpretentious young romance, sprinkled with some excellent dialogue and charming banter that will make you laugh out loud at their sass, plus a sweet and delightful mix of curious, inexperienced but extremely insightful and lovable characters. I’m so happy I found this fic and that I got to write a rec for it! Thank you E for sharing this beauty and so many other fantastic stories with us - I’m delighted to share this space with you and can’t wait to see what comes next 💜

Read on AO3

[canyonkingdom]

you're all going to hell

prologue: everyone's suspecting

tw: swearing (excessive, excessive, swearing)

They weren’t the rescue team anymore.

They’re completely different.

Their eyes glowed red, cunning smiles on their metal frames. They were ready for absolute destruction.

“You will all pay.”

Nighttime fell in Broomstown. A once joyous, lively town now on the brink of collapsing. The Broomstown Rescue Team had been saving lives left and right, never getting even the slightest bit of time for themselves. The stupidity of the citizens began to rub off of them. 

She was annoyed, to say the least. But the important thing is, they liked her inventions. The citizens would clammer in happiness to the sight of the rescue team, nothing but good things came out of their mouths.

She didn’t understand why she had to be the one stuck in the drama.

The outskirts of town were beautiful. Houses and shops strewn on the streets legibly, the right amount of grass pinned to the decoration sides. People were laughing,

they were happy.

She could feel the glow in their eyes disappear when they set eyes on her. Now glowing with disdain, a unaffectionate red glistening over their pupils. She could see that red everywhere she went. Even buying bread could get her cold remarks from the baker. 

She hated it.

What did she do to deserve the cold treatment from her town? Where she grew up, grew to love, grew to create life changing robocars that has potentially changed the town forever. Appreciation was all she wanted. A little “thank you” would satisfy her so much, but she only got panned, hated, villainized.

She denied everything. You can’t be guilty for something you haven’t done. Yet, they didn’t even consider her opinion, they didn’t even listen. They still stuck to the lies. No matter how many times she assured them that it was a fake newspaper clipping, they were all unwilling to hear her side. 

Idiots.

She didn’t need them in her life. Her robocars have been building their foundation, but they don’t even acknowledge her. She didn’t steal them, those lying freaks. Her original creations were what kept the town afloat, and they have the nerve to say that she stole them? 

They really were idiots.

“Murderer.”

A person inside a blue mailvan murmured, quickly driving away as soon as his eyes set on her.

You’re not scared, are you?

"I came across THE murderer."

Posty's words made everyone in the post office lock eyes with him.

"R- really?" Cleany stammered. His eyes were beaming, hungry for gossip.

"Yes, really! I never lie about this shit, y'know?" Posty clinked, sorting out his hands through the new mail.

"You're an idiot. She's not a murderer, you fuck!" Cap corrected aggressively, sighing at the end. "She's a thief. Learn your gossip, man."

"I'm not wrong, Cap!" Posty jotted back, turning around to face Cap's overly cocky face. "You've seen that old newspaper. She was eight! She's a fucking menace! She is capable of killing us all-"

"No! Don't mention that!" Cleany shouted, his voice quivering. "I'm not taking a- any chances to be scared of the outside. I- I literally clean for a living."

"Yeah, we also work on the outside too." Posty said blatantly. “If she hadn’t created Poli and the gang, our mayor would’ve locked her up real quick.”

“She didn’t create the rescue team, for fuck’s sake! They were from another town!” Cap chided, standing up and looking at Posty’s soulless eyes. 

“Can you two just s- shut up?” Cleany spoke up, polishing a long unused flask from the far corner of the post office. “Whatever she i- is, we should probably avoid her. She m- might, y’know…”

“That’s what i’m trying to say! The mayor should’ve put her to jail sooner!” 

The construction site wasn’t free from gossip either.

“What?!” The team shouted in unison, completely shocked.

“Posty told me she’s the daughter of a war criminal!” Bruner’s gleeful voice plagued the site. “The genes run through the family!”

“Come on, dude,” Dump griped, rolling his eyes. “You actually believe Posty? He’s trying to get attention-”

Bruner shoved a newspaper clipping in Dump’s face. “Eat shit, big guy.” 

Everyone else hovered over Dump’s shoulder, in utter bewilderment of the news. “Leader of a famed war clan is blessed with a beautiful daughter- oh, shit. They have the exact same name!” Mickey’s voice chirped, hovering over Bruner’s overly joyous face and the article. 

“That’s the point!” Bruner said gleefully, enjoying the fact that he was correct once again. (He was always correct, though). “No wonder she stole from inventors and murdered them all, she got it from her dad.”

Dump shaked his head and slapped the clipping on Poke’s face, earning a terrifying glare from him. “I’m not believing this. How can you guys be so certain?”

“Yeah! It's probably edited or something." Max chimed in, still slightly confused. “Uh, what else is there to this confusing mess?”

Bruner sighed and clicked his tongue. “I don’t know man, but I know we should probably avoid her.

She’s a monster.”

The dock was also splattered with gossip.

“Lifty, I’ve been hearing about this woman for four straight years now, and she’s still the talk of town.” Terry leered, groaning against the cemented walls. 

“It’s not my fault, everyone’s practically keeping it alive!” Lifty chided hesitantly, giving a wry smile. “The whole stealing and murdering thing didn’t sit well for me. I’m just kind of worried she’s still around to-” Lifty took a breather. “-to skedaddle in town with all the drama pinned to her, i’m surprised no one has done an investigation-”

“They already investigated her, you twit.” Terry disparaged the young worker. “I heard she paid the authorities to shut up about that shit.” he added.

“Yeah!” Leky’s voice seeped in the cargo room. “It was like a million, I think?” 

“Can you not join in their gossip session?” Lefy asked nicely, trying very hard not to shout at his brother. "We have work, thank you."

“I would rather listen.” Lety added in, peeking through the room, smiling at the two inside.

“Come back here, you fuck.” a hand, presumably Lefy’s, pulled Lety’s hair, enticing a scream from the youngest Crane triplet. 

She felt rage encapsulate her body.

Whenever she heard their irritating voices spout out her name, her legacy, she felt something snap. She always kept it tied to an extent, but the string is to brittle to continue.

You're all gonna die.

[shakespeareaddict]

Fix Your Writer’s Block (without using AI)

I’ve been posting a lot of AI hate here lately (almost like...it’s becoming my brand....) and one of the things that gets my goat is the propaganda belief that AI can help writers who are struggling with a story in some way, shape or form come up with the next line or fix their plot or what have you. This advice is misguided at best and destructive at worst.* 

Still, complaining about something without actionable advice for how to fix it is not really my vibe. So for those of you thinking: “But I really need help!/But what am I supposed to do if I get writer’s block?” I have good news for you: Writers have been tackling writer’s block since...probably the invention of storytelling. There are ways to get around it if you are stuck! 

So, here’s a non-exhaustive list of tips and tricks to deal with your writer’s block, no computers necessary:

Put down something mediocre and come back to edit it later. It’s easy to get caught up searching for the “perfect” word or sentence, and waste a lot of time staring at a blinking cursor. But that’s not what a draft is for! Your goal is to get as much of the story out of your head and onto the page as possible; you can always edit it later, once you’ve had some time to think. (Though you might find that when you come back, the “mediocre” bit is actually better than you thought!)

Use a placeholder and continue writing. This is another tactic meant to keep you writing when it’s a small block, instead of falling down a research rabbit hole for an afternoon or otherwise being distracted. If I need to name a minor character who appears for two lines, I will often just ID them by their function in the story and circle back to it. Eg: “Officer <<COP>> took their statements very professionally and gave them his card.” When I edit, the all-caps and the brackets are a big reminder that, wait, I need to name this guy!

This tactic also works for research! If you need to know if bees have teeth or who said a cool quote, don’t spend an hour researching that when you should be writing! That is a problem for editing!

This goes triple for fanfiction writing, especially for a fandom with a lot of convoluted canon. I write a lot of Star Wars stuff and I like to reference “canon” planets and events in my fics; but if I try to research those references while I’m writing, my writing session becomes an endless Wookiepedia Delve. I just put “<<ICE PLANET HERE>>” or “<<CHECK SPELLING>>” as reminders.

I also cheat sometimes and write “<<end scene>>” if I’m not sure how to end a scene.

Take a break. Get up, stretch your muscles, and go do something else for 20-30 minutes. This tactic is perfect for when you realize you don’t know where a scene is going, or you’re stopping and starting a lot with your work. I recommend either light physical exercise or light household chores - something that engages your body without engaging your mind too much, so your subconscious can continue working on the problem.

This is also a great way of sneaking in self-care while writing. Hydrate yourself, go to the restroom, eat if you haven’t eaten yet. This kind of physical stuff has a huge impact on your mood and brain function; your writer’s block might be a symptom of your body needing something!

Go back to the drawing board. I have a bad habit of never outlining before I start writing - I know what the first three scenes are going to be, so I don’t need an outline! Then, about halfway through the story, I realize I have very little if any idea of what happens later. Taking a step back and typing out a quick outline (simple bullet points, like “Conan calls his sister for advice”) helps me keep on focus for the rest of the story, even if I decide to go off-outline.

Rubber-duck the problem. This tactic is for when you notice a larger problem with your work - you realize there’s a plothole, or you’ve written yourself into a corner, or you know how your story ends but you have no idea how to get to there from where you are now. “Rubber-duck debugging” is a programming technique where you explain a problem you’re having with a computer to an inanimate object (such as a rubber duck). Simply explaining a problem can often be enough to help you realize what went wrong.

No rubber duck is required! You can try this technique on dogs, mugs of tea, or family members who don’t know what you’re talking about but who make listening noises at the right time.

Finally, seek help from other writers. There are loads of ways to do this and all that you need is a community of fellow writers - or even just one writing friend! - to reap the benefits. Plus, it works on just about every kind of problem you can imagine having. Asking for help can look like:

Posting a question in a Discord server or other large group chat (eg: “Which of these two sentences sound better?” or “Do you guys have tips for writing betrayal?”)

Bringing your work to a writer’s workshop of some kind (I did a lot of this in high school/college and highly recommend joining a group where constructive criticism is offered, even for just a few months! Not only do you get feedback on your work, but learning to give other people feedback vastly improves your editing skills)

Discussing your problem with a writer friend

Finding a beta-reader (either a friend or otherwise)

*Besides the fact that you are feeding your work to a program that can and will keep it forever and might easily recreate parts of it later without your permission or knowledge, and besides the fact that most AI-generated “writing” isn’t actually that entertaining or good on a technical level so the value of whatever output you get is not actually that high, the best way to learn how to do anything is to practice doing the thing. If you turn to an AI every time you hit a stumbling block in your creative process, you are going to continue hitting stumbling blocks and your skill will not improve long-term.

[grelleswife]

I remember you giving some thoughts on a post I made sometime ago concerning Sieglinde and Othello doing whacky gay green science together (science pals <3 /p). It’s something that returns to me now and then, so I wondered if you have any ideas for it.

Hope you have a lovely rest of your day <3

Aww! I’m glad that my rambling tags held some merit! 🥰💚

I can definitely see them info-dumping to each other about their respective projects (and being thrilled that someone else finally understands the scientific jargon) and learning new experimental techniques from each other.

Othello probably shows Sieglinde all the nifty tools that haven’t been invented yet in the nineteenth century but which already exist in the reaper realm, much to her excitement.

Sometimes they get a little too radical while mixing different chemicals and cause a minor explosion or two (no fatalities have been incurred…yet 😉).

Since his little not-quite-niece visits his lab on a regular basis, Othello modifies the space to make it more accessible for her (i.e. rearranging the benches for enhanced mobility of her Arachnae Patousa, adjusting shelf heights so that everything is close within reach).

They have spirited discussions over the latest articles in academic journals.

If Sieglinde experiences pushback when she goes to publish her own research (because crusty male Victorian scientists hate to see a girlboss winning) Othello pulls a few strings to put those misogynists in their place. One thieving scoundrel who attempted to steal her ideas in order to pass them off as his own is even found dead in his flat after eating poisoned licorice. But dear Uncle Othello had nothing to do with that, surely. 🤭

If O!Ciel has need of their services, the pair collaborates on designing new gadgets for his Watchdog missions, devising novel methods for making enemies disappear under mysterious circumstances, or running forensics analysis on baffling clues.

Have a great rest of your day, too! 💖

[theshadowrealmitself]

Other citadel of Ricks thoughts/headcanons:

• There might be more Dianes out there, but there’s definitely very little Dianes, if any, at the Citadel, so I like to make Diane ocs and think about how life would be for them

So my most current Diane oc is one who sells cookies, labeled “Grandma Diane’s cookies”, except here’s the thing,,, she’s definitely not old enough to be a grandma, or even old enough to be a mom to a Morty because she’s still in her twenties, she also didn’t agree to the name, but they just became known as that because, well, a Diane is selling them, so of course everyone’s gonna think of them as Granny’s cookies

(it’s just really funny to me to think of a setup where you’re expecting a little sweet old lady, and then a woman in her twenties shows up in a cropped pale blue sweater and a high waisted white short skirt with slits on the slides and goes “yeah, I’m Granny” and maybe pops her gum at you, she’s still sweet but definitely not a grandma)

She lives in an area heavily populated by Mortys and opened up her shop there, eventually some Ricks found the shop and now frequent it, as well as the nearby shops which the Mortys are happy about, the people who know about her cookie shop gatekeep it heavily but also buy enough of them that she’s still making a great profit

• I like to think that there’s Rick and Mortys whose jobs are to show the new people around the Citadel and explain everything to them, lil citadel greeters

• There’s areas all over the Citadel that’s majority Morty, majority Rick, and then more places that are an equal mixture of the two

The Morty places are places where their Ricks aren’t around much, maybe it’s because they are clones who don’t have Ricks yet, or their Ricks are the Ricks who do those long boring jobs all day, like the factory Ricks, or they lost their Ricks and most likely entire families so they don’t have anywhere to go till they’re reassigned

The Rick places are usually Ricks who don’t have their Mortys around much, either because their Mortys don’t live at the Citadel so those Ricks have to pick them up from their Beth’s and Jerry’s when they go on adventures, or they don’t have Mortys in their universes and haven’t gotten assigned one yet for whatever reason, or they lost their Morty and haven’t had the heart to replace them yet and it’s too dangerous to go around without a Morty so they just spend their mourning period at the Citadel

There’s also probably small towns full of the other family members, like a Summer town, but they aren’t nearly as common

• I like to think all Ricks in the Citadel are down for inventing or doing science shit whenever, wherever, like Plumber Rick, he’ll ignore his plumbing job in an instant if someone (usually a Morty) needs help with a science thing

• Interdimensional cable is really popular, but there’s also movies and shows made inside the Citadel that get spread around, there’s definitely a famous actress Summer living it up in the Citadel

• I feel like there’s not just that one school for Mortys to learn how to be sidekicks, I feel like there’s also school schools for Mortys who have Ricks who either can’t go to school in their own universes for whatever reason, or it’s how Ricks convince Beth and Jerrys to get more time with Mortys, by introducing them to this Citadel school that lets Ricks take their Mortys out of class whenever

I have had way more thoughts about the Citadel but it’s been so hot lately that my brain has stopped working on me rn, so ending the post here for now!

[idolsgf]

WIP Wednesday

Hi, I was tagged by @melisusthewee for WIP Wednesday, thank you <33

So, I haven’t really been working on much except small snippets here or there (work has been very hectic). However, I wrote this awhile ago late one drunken night and I do eventually want to go back to it and expand on it whenever I get the chance. I didn’t know if I would ever post it or not, but here it is :)

It was inspired by a song song that came up in a playlist I was listening to.

Song here 🎶 ( I do suggest listening while reading )

Everything undercut. The tense is kind of a mess so I do apologize for that

It’s the battlefield.

Dark fire swirling all around, the scorched earth warming her bloody face.

Breathless, not as spry as she used to be. The smoke is seeping into her lungs, every breath labored and aching.

One good hand and a crossbow. Four bolts left.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spots him. He’s weaving seamlessly through the chaos, almost like a dance. A spark here, a barrier there. She’s mesmerized. The Dread Wolf.

Her breathing stops, heart in her throat. Memories come rushing back, memories she had pushed deep down. It was so hard to forget, why was it so easy to suddenly remember?

The scenes rush back, melding together in a hectic, melancholy blur. A first glance, laughter at stories, a stolen kiss. Sunlight streaming through the window, dust catching in the light. A soft stare over the pages of a report, a blush rising after being caught. A rainstorm, hiding a tear streaked face. only having to be there to comfort. A wound, feeling no pain while being healed, can’t keep her eyes off his. A secret dance. more battles, more stolen kisses, more laughter, more pain. A waterfall, a promise, only staring at his back as he rushed to leave.

Years pass.

Rushing through the mirror bloody and bruised, only to get the chance to see him one last time. She’s dying, hand burning, the foreign yet all too familiar magic spreading. An explanation, a final kiss, a promise. a mirror. Once again only being able to watch as he leaves. Arm fading. Magic seared into her heart.

var lath vir suledin

“Solas” the name doesn’t fully come out, catching in her throat. Solas. Louder and louder until she’s shouting it across the battlefield. He’s walking away, she doesn’t know if he can hear her. No. I will not watch again.

var lath vir suledin

It’s slow at first, her feet aching, the burn on her leg searing. She pushes it down, and starts running, dodging all that comes at her. nothing will keep her. An arrow whizzes past her ear, nicking the top. She keeps going.

She can see him now, bounding down the hill out of sight. She makes it to the edge.

“Solas!” she bellows, giving pause to some of the battle around her before starting back up into a frenzied scene. He stops, a pause. Shoulders tense, hand clenched around the worn wood, knuckles white.

Is it just for show, the staff? It must be. He’s the Dread Wolf. A wild beast that does not need the silly inventions of mortals to make an impact.

He’s still Solas.

He turns, eyes to the ground before his head snaps up. That look almost knocks her back, catching her off guard. Those sad blue eyes, they’re not the eyes of an all powerful deity, hell bent on tearing the world down. Not the eyes of an evil mastermind, carefully moving the chess pieces across the board. Not a god giggling madly in glee at the edge of the fade after betraying the people. Not even the eyes of one who wants to free them.

They’re pleading. Eyes of someone who only wants to tell the truth. A flash of a waterfall. Tears prickling at the edge of her vision, taking all of her strength to hold them back. She has cried enough. It’s not his right to bring them back out.

He looks up at her, no indication of movement, the only one being a slight twitch of his hand. Almost as if he wants to reach for her. Time freezes still.

Crossbow raised, arrow notched.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

WTYP: The Shandor Building, Part 8

[Do you like the colour of the fanfic? This is long and if you expand it you're gonna get the whole thing, because Tumblr hates you. Don't say I didn't warn you!]

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Part 8: Disaster Roulette: Horse Viscera

[Beware of strong language, mention of all kinds of death, gore, and Lovecraftian horror.]

[SLIDE: The Atmospheric Railway.]

D: Wow.

A: That smells amazing!

L: Is that pancakes? Is that pancakes or am I having a stroke?

R: It’s pancakes. On the little stove right here. Says it’s “The First Dining-Car-Powered Railway.”

D: So we have full access to any bullshit you made up during the episode?

R: Seems like it.

L: Is there syrup?

A: I don’t think we mentioned syrup…

D: Still! Pancakes and no imminent threat of death! Well done, lady and gents!

D [text over slide]: I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FOOL.

D: Pancakes all around and let’s have a chat about traaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIII — !

[sounds of WTYP inadvertently setting an 1884 land speed record, and 75 seconds of screams]

D [text over slide]: I HAVE EDITED OUT QUITE A BIT MORE SCREAMING. UNFORTUNATELY, WE HAD ACCESS TO ANY BULLSHIT WE MADE UP DURING THE EPISODE, AND SO DID GOZER. I WILL NOT ELABORATE, BUT HERE IS AN ARTIST’S DEPICTION.

[Postproduction image of blood-drenched Carrie at the prom.]

[more screaming, human language slowly becoming intelligible]

D [louder and louder to be heard above the others]: DEAD AIR AND SCREAMING! DEAD AIR AND SCREAMING! WE’RE ONLY RECORDING DEAD AIR AND SCREAMING! FOR GOD’S SAKE, CLEAR THE BLOOD OUT OF YOUR MICS AND SAY SOMETHING FUNNY!

A: I HAVE DISEASES THEY HAVEN’T EVEN INVENTED YET AND THEY’RE GOING TO NAME THEM ALL AFTER ME! I’LL BE STUCK WITH THIS NAME FOR THE REST OF MY SHORT LIFE! “Oh, Alice Caldwell-Kelly? Did you discover Alice Caldwell-Kelly Syndrome?” “I AM ALICE CALDWELL-KELLY SYNDROME!”

L: I HAD MY MOUTH OPEN!

G: HA HA HA. DON’T YOU LIKE HORSIES, W’TYP [somehow pronouncing it like R’lyeh]?

D: WE PREFER THEM IN ONE FUCKING PIECE!

R: Yeah, that shouldn’t have been like that.

A: Oh, my God, how did I ever think horse viscera was funny?

D: Then think of something else!

A: Nothing is ever going to be funny ever again, and I am going to die in a pocket dimension, covered in horse-and-rat smoothie.

L: And pancakes.

A: And pancakes. …Rocz, what?

R: You got a little piece of tail, right, right there…

D [text over slide]: I HAVE EDITED OUT A FURTHER 45 SECONDS OF MASS VOMITING. IT WAS NOT VERY FUNNY.

A [exhausted]: Just kill us already.

L: Please.

D: Same.

R: Motion carries.

G: POOR, PITIFUL W’TYP. THE ATMOSPHERIC RAILWAY NEVER KILLED ANYONE.

A: Right? So? Now what?

G: I SHALL INDUCE YOU TO [bleep] YOURSELVES! [lower voice] YOU MAY BLEEP THAT IN POST, DEVON. IF YOU SURVIVE!

D [text over slide]: I LIVED, BITCH.

A: Oh, fuck off.

L: Boo! Weak!

R: Not happening.

D: Lazy cunt.

[sounds of WTYP throwing horse-viscera-soaked pancakes]

G: [clearing throat] “SO, WHEN YOU THREE TELL US YOUR PRONOUNS YOU ARE KIDDING, RIGHT? L-O-L!”

A: Oh, God, xe’s reading the comments!

D: No! Never read the comments!

G: “HEY YOU ALL. I AM JUST GOING TO GIVE YOU SOME FEEDBACK FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T LIKE PODCASTS AT ALL. YOU CAN PROBABLY GUESS WHAT THOSE CRITICISMS ARE. I AM HERE TO LEARN ABOUT URBAN PLANNING AND ENGINEERING…” [continuing faintly under the following]

L: Frig. Why did we start pinning the worst ones?

R: It was funny.

D: Xe could at least stick to the ones from the Atmospheric Railway.

R: They were largely positive, though.

A: Boys, I’m going to be really honest with you, I’ve been through some shit in my time, and this is all getting to be a bit much. It’s not so much the negative comments — although it stings a bit more to hear them out loud — it’s being trapped in an alternate hell dimension with no hope of escape. I mean, where does it all end? Just podcasting, negative comments and engineering disasters, for all eternity?

R: It’s been a pretty fun time, right up until just recently…

A: WE WEREN’T COVERED IN PURÉED HORSE UNTIL JUST RECENTLY! [sigh] If we can’t find a way out of this, it’s only a matter of time before I embrace that suction tube and give the horse-and-rat smoothie an Alice boost. Your thoughts?

R: I always figured a god would hafta come kill me to take me out, but I ain’t ready to give up yet.

D: But as it stands, we can only play to a stalemate, and then Gozer changes xyr form again. We need a means of attack. Can you think of an episode where you speculated about… about somehow wounding the disaster? Or… I don’t know, fixing it?

L: I dunno, Dev. They just always seemed so inevitable.

R: We’ve got slides of ‘em.

A: It’s always been more of a gallows humour kind of thing.

D: Superpowers? Did you ever give each other superpowers?

R: Other than the power of knowledge?

D: The power of knowledge isn’t going to dent a fucking god, Rocz! Gods do not work that way!

L: What about… The Frankford Junction Wreck?

A: [sigh] Sleep deprivation isn’t much of a superpower…

L: No, not that.

A: What? Rocz’s well-known love of trains, or… Oh. [laugh] Oh, yes. That might be of considerable assistance.

R: Something other than my well-known love of trains?

A: Shh! Don’t let on!

D: Whose pick is it? Alice had one, and Rocz had one, and we all said this one together.

L: It’s either you or me, buddy. So just don’t stop thinking about the Frankford Junction Wreck…

G: “…I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR BANTER. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE EDUCATIONAL. NOT ENTERTAINMENT.”

L: Fuck, that was all one comment, wasn’t it?

R: Yep, that was a longy.

A: With no line breaks.

R [to Gozer, flatly]: No.

G: “CAN YOU NOT JUST ENGAGE WITH CRITICISM? THIS WAS ALL SINCERE. I LIKE YOU INDIVIDUALLY AND MOST OF ALL…” [continuing faintly under the following]

D [text over slide]: I CONTROL THE AUDIO MIXING. I AM THE GOD OF EDITING.

D: I don’t think we’re getting out of this until Gozer gets tired of commenting or runs out of material…

A: Xe’s not going to run out of material, this is only from Episode Six!

D: Keep it together, Alice…

L: Don’t worry! I got your back, babygirl. HEY! GOZER! ANCIENT SUMERIAN GODS EAT SHIT!

G: L-O-L! UMAD [pronounced “oomad”] BRO?

L: YEAH! YOU BET I’M MAD! I EXIST ON THE INTERNET, I DO NOT CONFORM TO CONVENTIONAL STANDARDS OF MALE BEAUTY, AND I’M JEWISH! MY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ARGUING WITH GODS SINCE YOU WERE PISSING IN YOUR ANCIENT SUMERIAN DIAPERS! AND I’M ABOUT TO START MAKING ACTIONABLE THREATS!

D [text over slide]: I GOT YOUR BACK, BABYGIRL.

L: SO WHY DON’T YOU [bleep] YOURSELF IN THE [bleep] BEFORE I [bleep] AND [bleep] ALL YOUR FOLLOWERS IN A KIDDIE POOL OF YOUR OWN [bleep] WITH [bleep] AND [bleep] AND YOUR LITTLE DOGS TOO! UNTIL YOU [bleep] AND I HOPE YOU [bleep] IN [bleep] AND SAY HELLO TO ELON MUSK AND ADOLF HITLER WHILE YOU’RE AT IT! I’LL [bleep] ALL THREE OF YOU [bleep] IN A LAKE OF [bleep] AND [bleep] AND THEN I’LL TOWEL YOU OFF AND FIRE YOU OUT OF A ROCKET INTO THE SUN! AND THAT LAST PART IS NOT ACTIONABLE, I DO NOT HAVE A ROCKET!

G [scandalized]: ELON MUSK?

L: Yeah!

G: THAT WAS GENUINELY HURTFUL.

L: You bet it was! And I got a lot more where that came from!

G: “I HATE TO CRITICIZE A GENERALLY SUPERB PROGRESSIVE PODCAST, ESPECIALLY SINCE MY SON IS ONE OF THE PRESENTERS, BUT…”

D: Oh, God.

R: Is that…?

A: It’s Liam’s dad!

G: “EUROCENTRIC THINKING SHOULD BE DENOUNCED. INFRASTRUCTURE IS NOT JUST AEUROPEAN THING? WHEN WHITE PEOPLE SHOWED UP IN THE US IN THE 17TH CENTURY ANDNEEDED TO BUILD ROADS TO CONNECT WHAT WOULD BE LARGE POLLUTED CONGESTED CITIES 4 CENTURIES LATER, THEY FOUND, OF ALL THINGS, INDIGENOUS PEOPLE’S ROADS A/K/A INDIAN TRAILS. THESE ROADS WERE GRADUALLY WIDENED, PAVED, AND GIVEN ROUTE NUMBERS. MOST OF THIS HAD TO WAIT UNTIL RTHNIC CLEANSING AND THE INVENTION OF THE AUTOMOBILE WERE ACCOMPLISHED. TRY STATE ROUTE 2 PARENTHESIS MOHAWK THE MOHAWK TRAIL CLOSE PARENTHESIS COMMA.”

A: Liam…? Are you okay…?

L [tearfully]: That was valid, sincere criticism from an honorable man — AND YOU ARE NONE OF THOSE THINGS, YOU PLAGIARIZING BITCH-BASTARD!

G: IT WAS VERY POORLY FORMATTED.

L: It was BEAUTIFULLY formatted! I JUST COME FROM A LONG LINE OF PASSIONATE MEN! And when I see my dad again — and I WILL, because you’re going DOWN IN FLAMES — I’m going to give him a BIG HUG!

[applause, cheering from the rest of WTYP]

VINZ CLORTHO (V): We are valid.

A: Fuck! Shit! Where did that come from?

R: They’re eating the pancakes.

ZUUL (Z): [hissing]

R: We’re eating the pancakes, sorry.

V: You have hurt our feelings.

L: You’re trying to kill us! [clearing throat] Alice, do you have a cough drop or something?

A: Eat this cigarette. They work for me.

V: You must die so the new world can be born.

Z: A new world with more tummy rubs.

L: What? I will rub your tummies right now!

Z: [hisses]

V: No. We do not like you anymore. [to Rocz] Die well, doughnut-giver.

G: SINCE WE ARE ONCE AGAIN AT AN IMPASSE, I AM [sigh] ONCE AGAIN OFFERING THE CHANCE TO CHOOSE A NEW FORM.

R: No.

D: We’re fine.

G: NOT EVEN INTO SOMETHING THAT ISN’T COVERED IN PURÉED HORSE AND RAT?

A: No, this… This is great. We like this.

L: We eat horse and rat pancakes for breakfast!

V [faintly, mouth full]: We have much in common, you and us. It is a shame you must die!

G: ALL RIGHT. AND WAITING BEHIND DOOR NUMBER “FUCK YOU,” YOUR NEXT ENGINEERING DISASTER IS…?

WTYP, together: The Frankford Junction Wreck!

R: For some reason.

Part 9

[netherzon]

Timbits Disappearing Act

Whelp, recently I mentioned an old fanfiction I read awhile ago that had an idea I liked, but a plot that I didn’t really, so here’s my take on it I guess?

Inspired by this post, although it ended up more like Canada is still just invisible. Its in the tags on that post that I mentioned the other fic

Also sorry about the ending, I couldn’t think of anything more satisfying than whatever people imagine Alfred had to do to earn the timbit’s forgiveness.

Very few nations knew this about him, but Canada loved donuts. Almost as much as he loved maple syrup. If he had to choose, he’d probably rank donuts in third place. First place would be maple syrup, obviously. Second place would be maple donuts.

He never tried to hide this fact, but almost nobody knew because most of the nations couldn’t really see him. 

He had theorized before about why that is. He used to think maybe it was because he wasn’t likable enough, but he’s pretty much as likable as a nation can be, and nothing changed. Then he thought maybe he wasn’t exciting enough, but even inventing a sport where people tied knives to their feet and tackled each other on purpose hadn’t changed anything. That’s when he started thinking: maybe it wasn’t him exactly, maybe it was circumstance.

There were so many nations. Very few of them ever actually got to talk during a world meeting. Dialogue was not split evenly. It was a competitive environment, and while Canada wasn’t bothered by competition per se, having a say during the global meetings wasn’t usually something he was motivated to do.

He was cozy where he was. He used to be a bit resentful of his brother, how people just seemed to pay attention to him naturally. Alfred just always seemed to have the spotlight. Over time though...

“America!” 

he learned to appreciate the benefits of near invisibility.

Alfred’s attention moves back to the front of the room, where Austria had been giving his presentation. Matthew takes the opportunity to lean over and grab another timbit from the box his brother stole from him.

Austria was glaring up at Alfred from his spot by the podium, “How many times do we have to tell you not to bring food to meetings?”

“Well, it worked after four, but this is the nineteenth time your askin me that, so my bet is on a number higher than nineteen,” Alfred says with a winning smile. 

Multiple sighs and groans echoed around the room.

“Huh,” Matthew mutters around a mouthful of donut, “even Austria is getting on your ass about it now. You really should stop eating at meetings, Alfred.”

Alfred’s smile doesn’t slip an inch as he spins in his chair to flip Matthew the bird, and Matthew laughs in response.

Across the room, England frowned, “what kind of maths is that supposed to be? If it's the nineteenth time, then it didn’t work after the fourth.”

Alfred continues his chair spin till he’s gone 360 degrees around to point back at Arthur, “Yeah, except for it did! I haven’t brought any food to a meeting since the fourth time y’all told me not to!”

“America, you have two boxes of…,” Germany frowned, “What do you call those again?”

“Munchkins,” Alfred answers automatically, glancing innocently over at Matthew, “they’re from Dunkin.”

Matthew sucks in a breath and almost chokes. Alfred scoots over to pat him hard on the back, but keeps his eyes on Germany. Matthew tries to glare at his brother anyway. Hopefully he got his point across without words. If my windpipe wasn’t full of delicious TIMBITS right now, you’d be in so much pain. 

“Right,” Germany says, clearly confused to see Alfred waving his hand in the air strangely, “whatever they are, you have two boxes of them. Sitting right in front of you.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t bring those,” Alfred replies simply.

Matthew, recovered from what would have been one of his most embarrassing deaths yet (even if it was only Alfred who noticed), decides to enact his revenge. First though, he’ll grab another handful of timbits.

“Then who did?” Arthur asks.

Alfred points directly at Matthew, his finger almost poking his brother’s nose. His brother, who is frozen with one hand deep in the box of timbits, right in front of everyone at the meeting. 

“Canada,” Alfred says.

There was a moment of silence, and the whole room seemed to pause. Everyone was looking in Matthew’s direction. He could feel himself starting to blush with embarrassment. Alfred looks pleasantly surprised; he hadn’t been expecting that to work either, but it would be nice to not be the only one in trouble for once. Figures the first time Alfred rats me out suddenly everyone can see-

“Who?” he hears.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” Alfred cries, throwing up his hands.

Matthew releases a breath, half relief and half disappointment. He grabs both boxes of timbits and slides them back towards his seat.

“Canada!” Alfred says again, still pointing, “Right there! The nation of Canada? My brother?”

Everyone just looked confused. 

“The one covered in donut crumbs!” Alfred continues. This makes Matthew glance down at his suit. There were a couple pieces of glaze sticking to his tie, but it wasn’t that bad.

“He brings donuts to every meeting! Every time I get yelled at for having donuts, Canada is the one who brought them. He’s practically addicted!”

Austria is rubbing his temples, “None of this is even important,” he snaps, “I do not care where the doughnuts originally came from. The problem is I can’t even hear myself think over the sound of you chewing.”

Alfred sighs, exasperated, and reaches towards Matthew and the two boxes of timbits, “It's not my fault you have super hearing, Beethoven.” Matthew scoots away, clutching the boxes close to his chest.

Austria’s face flushes, “Beethoven was deaf,” he scoffs, “and German.”

Alfred is looking solely at Matthew though, “bro, you cannot be serious.”

Matthew shakes his head solemnly, “you disrespected my timbits, bro. Disrespect the timbits, and you lose timbits privileges.”

“Wha-, so you’re really not gonna share anymore?” Alfred asks, incredulously.

“You know why it has to be this way,” Matthew says in the most serious voice he has.

“Aw c’mon, Matt, they’re not that different.”

Matthew narrows his eyes with actual irritation. “Go on, dig the hole deeper, I’ll wait.”

Alfred does the smart thing and pauses to consider the options. Insist on being right (because he is) but also end up arguing with Matthew and no donuts, or talk him into sharing...

Alfred puts on what he calls his ‘straight-talkin face’. “Alright, what do ya want for ‘em?”

[oceanmonsters]

so I haven’t seen anyone on here unpack the whole Andrea Riseborough oscar controversy yet so fine, I’ll do it myself. bear in mind that I’m not an expert in ANY way this is just what I’ve picked up from a few days of reading so if anyone knows more pls feel free to chime in.

so, the thing about the Academy Award nomination & awards process is that it’s not as simple as the best actress or movie gets the award — it involves campaigning on the part of the studios/actors/etc. that’s just how it is and all of the best actress nominees had campaigns going on. but there was some weird things going on with Riseborough’s campaign (for her starring role in extremely low budget indie To Leslie). for one, how so many famous people seemingly randomly started caping for her, as reported in the Hollywood reporter:

Jennifer Aniston, Charlize Theron, Sarah Paulson and Edward Norton have hosted screenings, with more recent showings booked by Gwyneth Paltrow and Courteney Cox. After Paltrow’s screening, attended by the likes of Demi Moore along with Morris and Riseborough in attendance, the Goop founder called it a “masterpiece of a film” and went so far as to say that the title star should win “every award there is and all the ones that haven’t been invented yet.”

Many more have also posted about it on social media including Aniston (“Beautiful”), Susan Sarandon (“beautiful, lil gem of a film”), Helen Hunt (“If you’re out there voting for performances, don’t do it till you see Andrea Riseborough”), Zooey Deschanel (“amazing movie”), Melanie Lynskey (“even for her this is next level”), Mira Sorvino (“absolutely stunning, wrenching and beautiful”), Constance Zimmer (“you’ll never forget this performance”), Rosie O’Donnell (“devastatingly beautiful film”), Minnie Driver (“run don’t walk”), Alan Cumming (“an insanely raw and beautiful performance”) Daphne Zuniga (“incredible performance”), Tan France, Jenny McCarthy and many more. Frances Fisher, Rosanna Arquette, Debra Winger, Patricia Clarkson and Howard Stern are also part of the chorus of supporters.

even weirder, there were quite a few tweets that used the exact same wording, calling it a “small film with a giant heart”, providing pretty clear evidence that this was all part of a campaign.

now, as mentioned, campaigning IS fine and normal. but the fact that this campaign came so suddenly and so quickly in the run up to the nominations (as opposed to others who had been campaigning and had their names in the running for months before) raised a few eyebrows. another thing that raised a few eyebrows was the number of people (mostly famous white woman) who came out of the woodwork gushing about this movie and performance, treating Riseborough as the underdog contender that they just had to vocally support because she would never get as much attention as the others otherwise. (many are calling it a grassroots campaign — which seems like a weird way to refer to a bunch of millionaires deciding to throw their support behind something).

quote from sarah paulson:

Movies like this, made for little money, that are this powerful and true, should be given the same attention and consideration as those that have huge studios and therefore budgets behind them. Anything I could do to help bring eyes to it would mean I was doing something for all of us as actors and moviegoers.

cate blanchett literally used her speech after winning the critic’s choice awards to shout out Riseborough and call her “overlooked”.

And all of that is like… weird, but fine, I guess? Until you consider the fact that this was looking to be a historically diverse batch of nominees. Not only was Michelle Yeoh the first Asian nominees, Viola David and Danielle Deadwyler were both considered by many to be lock-in nominees for their movies The Woman King and Till. The fact that an army of white women came out in their droves to talk about how overlooked low budget indie movies are and to claim that this one specific white actress was the best one ever on the exact year that three women of colour looked like they might be getting nominated looks questionable, at best. Sure, some people did probably just praise the movie because they thought it was good and there was a lot of sudden hype around it. But some of the excess praise seems coupled with the constant framing of Riseborough as the underdog feels suspicious.

and now, the Academy is investigating Riseborough’s campaign because there’s suspicion their laws may have been broken as part of her campaign (which would result in her nom being rescinded). One seemingly obvious case of rules being broken would be Frances Fisher’s instagram post:

which goes against the rule that you are NOT allowed to mention any competitor while campaigning. if there is evidence that this post was part of Riseborough’s campaign (i.e. that she was in communication with Riseborough or her team about promoting the movie), that could be pretty damming.

but yet she is STILL being treated as the underdog victim in this — despite having a horde of rich and powerful Hollywood connections caping for her. see: comment from christina ricci:

it remains to be seen what will come of this all, but unfortunately, even if Riseborough’s nomination IS rescinded, it seems that they will not replace her with another nominee and there will instead only be four for that category.

[selflessanatta]

Just Say No to Pharmaceutical Drugs, https://selflessanatta.com/just-say-no-to-pharmaceutical-drugs/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/just-say-no-to-pharmaceutical-drugs/

Just Say No to Pharmaceutical Drugs

Nancy and Ronald Reagan felt strongly about eliminating the scourge of drugs from our society.

They were mistaken that only the defined illegal drugs of the era were bad. Further, the policies they advocated were an abject failure that has since been abandoned.

However, their hearts were in the right place.

We need to defeat the enemy: The Pharmaceutical industry.

Cory Doctorow documented how We Paid to Develop Merck’s Covid Pill, and now they’re charging us a 4,000% markup on it.

Merck really sucks.

But they are hardly the worst.

That honor goes to Purdue Pharma.

Purdue Pharma is majority owned by the Sacklers, a multigenerational billionaire crime family of mass-murdering dope-peddlers, who basically invented modern, legal dope peddling.

Cory Doctorow documented how The Sacklers woulda gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those darned meddling feds.

Purdue Pharma really sucks.

What respectable killers look like.

Just Say No to Drugs — All of Them

I’ve never taken a prescription drug longer than a few weeks.

I’ve never taken over-the-counter drugs for more than a few months, and those were antihistamines.

I have taken illegal drugs for extended periods; at least they were illegal. Cannabis was my drug of choice.

I liked to smoke small amounts of Sativa leaf to “take the edge off.” I avoided Indicas when possible due to the mental blanking side effect.

I found that Sativa Cannabis was effective at getting me out of my head and into my heart.

I take no drugs today.

My 103-year-old grandfather

My grandfather lived to be 103 years old. The only medication he ever took was niacin for his high cholesterol.

He only took that briefly because the flushing was an unwelcome side effect.

Also, it runs in the family, and the high levels do not result in artery buildup; at least, that’s what my Cardiac Computed Tomography (CT) Scan revealed to me.

In my opinion, my grandfather lived to be 103 and sustained mental clarity for nearly all of that time because he didn’t take Pharmaceutical Drugs.

Pharmacists just say No

One of my closest friends from High School is a pharmacist. So is his wife.

They occasionally take ibuprofen, but nothing else.

I’ve known other pharmacists who have told me the same thing.

The reason they give is that these drugs are very powerful and they have many deleterious side effects.

Unless they really, really needed them, they would never consider taking them.

Senior Citizens just say Yes

I recently spoke to an 82-year old gentleman who told me that he is on about 15 different medications. He says he just does what the doctor tells him.

Apparently, that means taking a multitude of prescription drugs.

Have you ever spent time talking with retired people?

What do most of their conversations revolve around?

Seniors discuss their ailments, the meds they are on, their difficulties with insurance, and their need for these drugs for their survival. I’ve witnessed and participated in those conversations.

These talks are not uplifting.

The mindset that must die

Western culture believes that all diseases have a physical cause. It’s the nasty extension of materialism.

Physical causes must have physical remedies.

Therefore, some drug is the fix or the cure for disease.

Perhaps we haven’t discovered the magic drug yet, but we have a panoply of existing drugs to address ailments both big and small.

Apparently, we are all born with drug deficiencies.

We lack sufficient caffeine, so we must consume coffee, soda, or various powders to correct this problem.

Apparently, countless years of evolution did not provide us with a body capable of sustaining itself without infusions of exotic chemicals.

Our natural immune system requires constant infusions of drugs to sustain its operation.

It’s a miracle we made it this far.

Thank goodness for pharmaceuticals, right?

The Slippery Slope to Polypharmacy

Polypharmacy is taking many drugs at the same time.

The Pharmaceutical industry thrives on polypharmacy, so to them, it’s a necessary condition to be managed, preferably with even more drugs.

Polypharmacy happens for a simple reason.

When a single drug is prescribed, it will often have side effects.

A second drug will be prescribed to deal with the side effects.

That will induce even more prescriptions.

Eventually, the cocktail of these drugs interact and produce even more side effects, resulting in even more prescriptions.

A completely clean person like me can devolve into Polypharmacy in a matter of weeks.

Photo by Myriam Zilles on Unsplash

Special Needs Polypharmacy

I am particularly close to the Special Needs community.

I have a 22-year-old son diagnosed with autism.

He is the only one I know who is not on a Polypharmacy regimen.

Special Needs people often don’t have the capacity to make decisions for themselves. My son doesn’t.

Thus, they are subject to the whims of their caregivers, who generally load them up with drugs.

It makes me sad to see so many drugged without their understanding or consent.

Photo by Matteo Badini on Unsplash

Drugs have their place

I am not completely against all Pharmaceutical Drugs.

As I documented in (Some) Schizophrenics are Enlightened, Minus Proper Body Anchoring, Schizophrenics often need drugs to remain safe.

But the need for drugs and the applications that drugs are applied to is a chasm so vast that a trillion-dollar industry of leaches and murders exists there.

If I were convinced a particular drug was essential to my survival — a really tough sell — I would take it.

Although, I would explore every possible natural remedy first.

Just Say No

When in doubt, just say no.

Pharmaceutical Drugs do more harm than good.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[yibennianyaji]

A History of Herbert West – Re-Animator

Dr. Herbert West’s longevity is something of a marvel. Lovecraft nerds love to turn up their noses at the Herbert West – Reanimator” stories, declaring them the weakest point in the author’s body of work. Lovecraft himself didn’t even think much of them – by which I mean he loathed them utterly, and mostly used them to bring in a paycheck from Weird Tales and take pot shots at that upstart lady writer’s new hit Frankenstein. At the same time, those six serial shorts went on to birth the single most successful Lovecraft adaptation and the most memorable, longlasting character not sleeping in R’lyeh or bound in human flesh. Dr. West’s quest to defeat death has made quite the hallmark on western culture (and beyond). And, well, I haven’t seen anyone else try to catalogue that impressive body of work yet. So let’s take a look at the Re-Animator through popular culture.

A note: while I’ve been mulling over this sort of post for some time as an outlet for my obsessive researching tendencies, it still seems only right that I tip my hat to Lindsay Ellis’ excellent Loose Canon series, which takes a similar investigative tack.

Herbert West – Reanimator

Published: 1922

The original story, published as six parts in Weird Tales magazine. As with most Lovecraft stories, it features an unnamed Narrator relating an unspeakable horror (so unspeakable that it saved the author from having to come up with effectively evocative descriptors!). That horror is, in this instance, Herbert West, a brilliant scientist seeking to destroy death by inventing a serum that can reanimate corpses. And reanimate them he does, seeking ever fresher subjects from hospital morgues and war zones until his old creations come calling (because science does not include keeping track of your subjects after the fact).

HWR is a very different creature from most of Lovecraft’s work, thanks largely in part to its nature as a serial: every story needed to end on a cliffhanger, and so HP’s usual M.O. of long, ponderous lead ups to a single revelation was necessarily replaced by a single, concise event and twist ending (usually involving a misplaced, reanimated corpse) to end each tale. And it’s true that the stories are missing the sense of foreboding atmosphere and flowery prose that lends such memorable strength to Lovecraft’s Elder God stories (though they’re not such a departure from his work as to miss out on the usual undercurrent of horrible racism).

But it’s also marked as different from the average Lovecraft story by way of its coherent plot structure and characters with personalities, relationships, and something dangerously close to arcs. By and large, Lovecraft protagonists are blank-faced suckers meant to facilitate a twist ending (your “Rats in the Walls”) or to act as a guide into the cosmic horror that truly owned the man’s authorly heart. The latter stories particularly are prompts more than they’re concise narratives, a fact that doubtlessly contributed to the thriving lifeblood of new authors being drawn to that vague, open sandbox. Herbert West is, at its base level, a zombie story before the Romero model became popular and a mad scientist tale blatantly uninterested in the philosophy Shelley had imbued the subgenre with. And so it sat, unloved by its creator and at odds with the genres of the time, for more than sixty years.

An aside before we move on, more pertinent than you might expect: “Herbert West – Reanimator,” is fairly cleanly classified as a public domain work, falling just before the 1923 institution of modern copyright law. This makes it a good sight luckier than many of Lovecraft’s most famous works (including “The Call of Cthulhu), which were published after copyright law was instituted but while it was still rather sketchily defined, creating an indescribable horror of red tape for any would-be adaptive parties. This will not stop the good Dr. West from being at the heart of some…interesting legal troubles.

Re-Animator

Released in 1985, Directed by Stuart Gordon

The year is 1985. Med Student Dan Cain is top of his class and engaged to Megan Halsey, daughter of the Dean. His life is quickly and violently derailed when he accepts transfer student Herbert West as his roommate and finds himself seduced into Herbert’s experiments in defeating death.

By far the most iconic version of the story and of West himself, so much so that it became the base point for most future works looking to pay homage to the good doctor. Updating the story to the 80s winds up being a perfect move not just because the film’s low budget, not a second wasted gorefest winds up reading as the modern equivalent of the pulp magazine where the story originated; but because that decade in horror wound up being so defined by elements like spectacular practical effects from the Cronenbergs of the world and great gouts of blood from the up and coming slasher genre. It’s a lurid little movie thoroughly of its age, and moving it even one iota would destroy the thing (let us all be thankful that the whispers of a reboot around 2009 proved dead in the water).

The entire movie is held together by Jeffrey Combs, playing West as a laser-focused obsessive with just enough of an eye for manipulating humans when he wants them around (see: Dan) and an acidic bluntness for everyone else. The slight touch of ham underneath makes for a beguiling performance, easily on the level of great B-actor Vincent Price. The rest of the cast is perfectly fine, though they’re all comparatively given less to work with. And Combs’ true costar, the gore effects, hold up remarkably well. Those fifty-plus gallons of blood were not wasted.

Of course, there’s the problem of the film’s rampant misogyny. I don’t even mean Herbert, whose seething dislike of any woman who comes remotely close to his assistant ends up reading as something between icy bafflement at human intimacy and jealousy at the loss of Dan’s attention. That’s a character trait, not necessarily indicative on its own. Sadly, the rest of the film provides more than enough ammo. Meg Halsey might be the purest example of the “Sexy Lampshade” problem (wherein a female character could be replaced by a lamp with a note taped to it without the plot being affected) I’ve ever seen – her every line of dialogue is dismissed by the otherwise wholly male cast, and by the third act she’s effectively a MacGuffin. And the film’s most infamous moment – the “head giving head” rape scene – marks not only the film’s one major shift from black comedy into pure cruelty but is also the only time a sentient character is tortured (with the rest either being cleanly killed or brought back as insensate zombies). Barbara Crampton does everything she can with a slip of a role, but it still casts a bit of a pall on the experience (for a Crampton/Combs/Gordon Lovecraft movie where Crampton actually gets to be an active plot participant, you’ll have to seek out From Beyond – which is no doubt helped by the fact that Crampton and Combs have to share victimhood duties).

Now, the fact that this film became the iconic face of Lovecraft’s story also means that it ended up with a considerable amount of legal sway. “Re-Animator Pictures Inc.” still exists today, and is headed by the director of the two film sequels, Brian Yuzna. It has a copyright not on the original story, but on the bits that the film introduced: namely, the glowing green serum and the likenesses of the cast. They’re a pretty amenable lot, and the hub through which folks hoping to license the characters for toys, screenings, and etc. would go through.

The same year that the film came out there was also a novelization of the film released, written primarily by Jeff Rovin with additional credit from the film writers. I mention it here rather than in its own section because the thing is damnably impossible to find: copies online start with a $50 price tag, and the only two libraries in the United States that own a copy won’t allow it to leave the building. In fact, the most involved discussion I’ve been able to find on the novel is found within this excellent essay on the homoerotic subtext in the Re-Animator film series – so the most I can tell you is that the novel took that subtext one farther and put forth a decidedly queer interpretation of Herbert.  You can perhaps imagine my delight – even if it falls back on old “code the villain” elements, there’s something irresistible about seeing a bit of yourself in such a brilliant, entertaining character. And given the solid month that went into research on this piece…well. But I digress.

Bride of Re-Animator

Released in 1989, Directed by Brian Yuzna

Now a licensed doctor, recently returned from a war zone alongside Herbert, and still mourning Meg’s death, Dan threatens to abandon Herbert and their seemingly stalled experiments. Attempting to appease Dan into staying, Herbert begins work on a project to create a living human from assorted parts, with Meg’s heart as the centerpiece.

Imagine the original Re-Animator film. Now, in proper pulpy sci-fi/horror fashion, imagine a fearsome electrical storm that, when it passes, leaves two films in its wake, with the parts making up the original divided between them. That more or less describes the two Yuzna-directed sequels. The first, Bride, wound up with all of the original’s character work and emotional elements….at the expense of tight pacing and a wholly coherent plot, which can’t have been helped by the fact that (according to Combs) the production team was forced to ditch the initial script right before filming began.

What remains are a number of amazing scenes between Jeff Combs and Bruce Abbott (Dan), whose amazing chemistry does a great deal to keep the actual Bride-making plot interesting, and then a whole bunch of nebulous Stuff surrounding that. Remember Dr. Hill, the decapitated mass of awful human from the first movie? He’s back now, even though that’s thoroughly impossible based on the ending of the last film (yes, more so than Herbert’s own vague demise). There’s a thing about a cop whose wife was reanimated and put in a mental institute…Herbert’s “morbid doodling” with reanimating collections of discarded parts…Dan vaguely attempting to get a new girlfriend. It all just kind of happens while the movie waits to come back around to the Bride plot, without much sense of tension to hold it together. As a horror film, it’s painfully incapable of standing on its own.

But if you’ve bothered to seek it out, you’re probably not expecting it to stand on its own. And the deeply unhealthy, codependent relationship between Dan and Herbert that carries over from the first film is well performed enough to merit watching. There’s genuine tragedy on all sides: Dan’s kind of a selfish asshole whose morals are about as solvent as his immediate wants, but he’s also compassionate to a fault in caring for the people around him (great bedside manner! Horrible doctor/patient boundaries); Herbert is wholly unconcerned with anything that might impede his studies, but he’s also found himself relying on another human being and winds up a heady mix of pathetic, terrified, and helpless at the idea of losing such a nebulously Important Person; and the Bride (played, I believe, by Kathleen Kinmount – done up in truly spectacular makeup and giving a very classic MGM Horror performance) is both completely innocent of the nightmare she’s brought into and ultimately as dangerous as any of the reanimated creations. Those scenes work so well that it makes one want to pluck them out and stick them into a movie not doomed by its own production (in addition to the script woes, Yuzna is quite evidently still getting the hang of his directorial debut).

Beyond Re-Animator

Released in 2003, Directed by Brian Yuzna

Imprisoned for over a decade, Herbert West gets a chance to test out his new research on transmitting the “self” after death when the brother of one of his victims starts work as a doctor at the prison – and has decidedly not forgotten the Re-Animator.

Here we have the other half of our bifurcated original film. Beyond Re-Animator does not have heart; indeed, if it came across some it wouldn’t know what to do beyond spewing the fresh, glistening viscera across its low budget prison sets. What it does have is a fiendish desire to top its own ridiculousness and a willingness to jettison absolutely everything besides Jeffrey Combs in the name of not so much doubling down on as setting fire to the original black comedy gore bar set by the original film.

And I’ll be damned if it doesn’t blow that goal out of the water. While it’s a bit disappointing that they didn’t even give the underappreciated Bruce Abbott so much as a cameo (Dan is mentioned, quite obliquely, in exactly one line), the fact that the film can reconstruct itself into such a tight, function story so long after the original film is canny and admirable in itself.

There’s not exactly nothing for the actors to do: Jeff Combs remains the stand out delight as per usual, here playing Herbert with a sort of implacable deadpan that is at once fixated on the usual results and also 110% done with everything around him (there’s some interesting subtext about the loss of his humanity and the effect that has on the new doctor seeming to serve as Dan 2.0 only to be discarded, but the film is only passingly interested in it); veteran giallo actor Simón Andreu throws on as much sleaze as he can possibly muster, and while Elsa Pataky’s character gets a real short shrift the actress is given the opportunity to play a solid spectrum of dynamics by virtue of the film’s “transferring consciousness” conceit.

It’s the kind of film where after a certain point one finds themselves reduced to simply describing the ridiculous actions on screen, at a loss for deeper meaning but no less transfixed. In that spirit: during the climactic prison battle, a violent reanimated rat rolls the villain’s severed penis across the floor of an execution chamber, while the assistant du jour fights his possessed former lover who seems to have come back from the dead with a leather corset; and Herbert West fights off both the severed torso of a vengeful inmate and a man who may or may not be, mentally, a rat.

For a brief time the creative team wanted to do a sequel called House of Re-Animator, in which Herbert would be called in to bring back the recently deceased president in order to prevent a national panic. Shenanigans, one presumes, would ensue. Sadly, this one seems permanently scrapped – Yuzna seemed to intend it specifically as satire of the Bush administration, so once that timetable passed the potential relevancy of the project went with it.

Comics

Starting with a three issue adaptation of the film in 1985 (perfectly passable, with thick lined artwork in the 50s Tales of Horror style), comics have seen the highest concentration of takes on the Re-Animator story. Or so it was, before…

Army of Darkness vs. Re-Animator

Published in 2006, Written by James Kuhoric and Nick Bradshaw

In which Ash is committed to Arkham Asylum and meets the famed Dr. Herbert West, the Necronomicon is involved, and battle lines are drawn.

If that synopsis seems half-hearted, rest assured in your assumption that this miniseries isn’t really worth the effort. It features Herbert West about as frequently and honestly as the original Friday the 13th featured Jason Voorhees, and even Dynamite Comics seems eager to nudge the thing under the rug, going so far as to release the similarly titled continuity reboot Army of Darkness/ReAnimator in 2013. No, what’s interesting about this comic is what it started.

You’ll recall I mentioned that in the wake of the 1985 film Brian Yuzna became the president of Re-Animator Productions, Inc., yes? And that the original character concept and story of Herbert West is public domain material? Well, right around 2005 (when, not so coincidentally, the AoD vs RA issues would’ve been published as individual issues), a third entity known as “ReAnimator LLC” popped into existence. Simultaneously, ReAnimator LLC submitted paperwork to try and institute a trademark on the word “ReAnimator” (no hyphen), which would apply to all print media. The case, if I am reading the available legal documents correctly, circled back and forth for over year until the 2007, when the trademark was cancelled. Hold that thought.

Hack/Slash: ReAnimation Games

Published in 2008, written by Tim Seeley

Veteran “slasher” killer Cassie Hack’s search for her missing father leads her not only to the man in question but also his employer: Dr. Herbert West, whose interest in the regenerating tissue of slashers has led him to acquire Cassie’s mother as a test subject.

This is a solid bit of comics writing, able to communicate a great deal of history within three issues and wring an emotional conclusion even from a reader who hasn’t read every issue (i.e. yours truly). Herbert is more or less a plot device here, operating in full sociopath mode and serving largely to move the players in the Hack family drama in place. Which is perfectly fine for what the series is – it has a history of bringing in famous horror icons for Cassie to face off against, and the baseline of how Herbert is written rings true enough that one can simply enjoy his cameo without being called on to wonder if he’s developing in a way that feels true to the character. The art is clean and bright (a trait that was sadly lost in the move to Image Comics), and story moves along at a steady pace.

Alright, unpause what I told you about those rights holders. The year is now 2008, and the creative team for Hack/Slash gets a cease and desist letter for their arc featuring Herbert West. This letter comes not from Yuzna, who openly gave the comic his blessing, but from the fledgling ReAnimator LLC. The company owned by Nick Barucci, the head of Dynamite Comics. You may recall that ReAnimator LLC’s bid to trademark the phrase “ReAnimator” was rejected in 2007 – and by the same documentation, apparently the case wasn’t renewed until 2009. Meaning that this letter had exactly zero legal right over the character of Herbert West, and was likely banking on the fact that a small indie company would be too afraid to risk taking things to court (I contacted Dynamite to try and get comment on these shenanigans, but they haven’t gotten back to me – hopefully they will, and I’ll be able to update this).

Legal or no, the scare tactic worked. Hack/Slash’s then-distributor, Diamond Comic Distributors, dropped those issues of the series, meaning readers could only get them by going directly to the publisher (even still, you can’t get those issues on, say, Comixology – though you can get the collection they’re included in quite cheaply on Google Play).

Once Hack/Slash featured its (now effectively vanished) run with Herbert West, only one other comic made use of the character: The Chronicles of Dr. Herbert West, which also began publishing in 2008. It’s a pretty terrible series, with cringeworthy artwork and nothing much to add to the retelling beyond “but what if the Narrator was Herbert’s heterosexual lady love interest though.” In fact, it was so small that I wasn’t able to find a reason given as to why it also stopped running in late 2008/early 2009, having published only three of a stated six planned issues.

ReAnimator

Published in 2015, written by Keith Davidson

Recently ripped from the early 20th century to present day thanks to the magic of the Necronomicon (see that Ash Williams crossover from 2013), Herbert West finds a new assistant in the form of Susan Greene, a capable and ethically malleable pharmacologist.

Low and behold, the first ReAnimator comic published after the cease and desist debacle of 2008 is put out by none other than Dynamite Comics. ReAnimator LLC took their trademark crusade up again in 2009, and seem to have tentatively succeeded within the last few years – the legal records I was able to find peter out as of 2013 without notice of another cancellation, and when I contacted Brian Yuzna he mentioned that his company and the LLC reached a settlement in order to avoid a protracted legal battle. The compromise was that comics would be banned from using the iconic glowing green serum or the likenesses of the characters.

The last item might be a surprise to anyone who’s read the miniseries, because this version of Herbert looks an awful lot like Jeff Combs. Certainly he’s no petite blond. You would not be alone in thinking so. Yuzna ended his brief email to me by saying: “In the opinion of RPI (Re-Animator Pictures, Inc.), Dynamite has been promoting its products as being derived from the famous motion picture.  This is, of course, just the opposite of the truth.” Given the squint-and-its-arguable design on Herbert and the sickly yellow glow of the serum, it’s extremely easy to imagine that the instructions given to the artists were “as close as you can without getting us sued.” Another charming swoop in what seems to be a history of technically legal dickery.

And it is a damn shame, because this is actually a pretty enjoyable miniseries. Susan is an engaging protagonist who has a solid rapport with Herbert, who for his part is somewhere between the “total work-focused sociopath” characterization and actual human communication. His dependent relationship with an assistant provided quite a bit of fodder for the films, after all, so framing that here as “actually performing a psychological experiment in the middle of reanimating work” proves a fairly effective angle. This also marks another attempt semi-common in latter day works of trying to fuse the pure (if implausible) science focus of the original story into the more supernatural elements of Lovecraft’s larger Mythos. So long as it remains on the fringe, as it mostly does here, it works well enough. When it doesn’t…

Mystery of the Necronomicon

Released in 2001, directed by Hideki Takayama

Detective Satoshi Suzuhara and his adopted daughter Asuka are on vacation at an isolated resort when a series of gruesome ritual murders begin taking place. Cut off from help, it becomes a race to find the culprit.

If you are of sufficient age and involvement in a certain segment of nerd culture, that director probably sent your eyebrows straight through the roof. A good section more will join in if I include the tag emblazoned on the DVD cover: from the director of Legend of the Overfiend. Yes, the infamous OVA series that not only appeared in every Blockbuster in the late 90s and early 2000s but also had an honest-to-God theatrical release, thus ensuring that Americans inextricably linked anime with violent tentacle porn. He made a Lovecraft OVA.

Now, given the history lesson I just gave you, and the perhaps illuminating knowledge that Overfiend was so enamored of the intertwining of sex and violence that at least one of its tentacle rapes ended with the victim’s head exploding post orgasm, I do hope you will forgive me for skipping directly to the all-plot no-porn final episode of this series. Having done so, I can report to you that this is not Herbert West at all.

Oh, they call him Herbert West. He raises the dead. He’s even blond, although he looks eerily like Hannibal Lecter. But in fact, what we have here is Dr. Carl Hill, who has stolen the West name for max audience credit. The story behind this “West” is that he was originally working with a colleague on the secrets of defeating death, only for that colleague to wind up dead and West nowhere to be found. Except in his free time “West” took an interest in serial murdering, including (with the help of the Necronomicon) ritual-murdering and absorbing the souls of a couple and coming back in the present day to creep on (and eventually murder and soulsorb) their newly legal daughter. Yup, it even features a skeevy daddy issues scene wherein Hill-West “comforts” this girl whose parents he offed and then assaults her as she’s shackled to an icy slab. This is the universe where Hill successfully murdered Herbert, took his research, and went on to an illustrious career of being a horrific rapist bastard. I watched this for you, readers.

Demonbane

Released in 2006, Directed by Shoichi Masuo (based on a PC game from 2003)

P.I. and professional mooch Kurou Daijuji is recruited by a wealthy, shadowy organization to acquire a grimoire. Desperate for money, he takes the job, but it’s not long before he’s set on by the sinister forces of the Black Lodge and correspondingly rescued by a young woman called Al-Azif.

The Necronomicon is a tsundere with twintails. That’s kind of all you need to know about Demonbane, but since I sat through the entire thing I may as well belabor the point a little. This anime is fanfiction. It is, specifically, the kind of fanfiction that really likes the aesthetic of a series and wants to play with it but doesn’t have much interest in the mood, tone, or dynamics of what made the original tick, and thus conspires to make very enthusiastic meat puppets for the purpose of its new production. Thus, the Necronomicon (and various other Unspeakable Texts) are all cute loli girls rendered in what I can only describe as the platonic ideal of low budget 2000s anime art style, Arkham is a bustling and nondescript burg with churches that don’t involve Elder Gods, and the “Shadow Over Innsmouth” tribute coincides with the requisite fanservicey Beach Episode. It is occasionally competent and often skull crushingly mediocre, a C of an anime if ever there was one.

And also there is Dr. West. Not Herbert West. DOKTAH WEHST, who has bright green hair, a loli (robot) assistant of his own, a love of electric guitar, and an obsession with building…robots. In an almost hilarious aside to the continuity it can’t be bothered with, his lab is filled with enormous tanks of vivid green liquid that are never used or commented on, because there are robot mechs to be built. Though given that West is pound for pound the only reliably entertaining part of the series, acting as a sort of Team Rocket meets Dist the Reaper, it is hard to be too angry with him. There is a trace of actual-factual-Herbert in the character’s ego and distate for hierarchy, but mostly it’s as token a nod as anything else the series does. He does defect from the villains to become something of a charming sidekick, so at least the series threw me a bone with my favorite trope.

A Shoggoth on the Roof

Written in 1979

A parody of Fiddler on the Roof populated by various characters from Lovecraft: Professor Armitage has three daughters, each looking to marry, while threats of Elder Gods plague the little town from all sides.

Remember how I said that most Serious Business Lovecraft Fans think of the Re-Animator stories as the bottom of the barrel? Wow, does that show through clearly here. Herbert is the height of plot devices here, having apparently perfected his reanimation experiments and instead set his eye on…marrying Armitage’s oldest daughter. If there’s one thing I certainly associate with Herbert West, it’s placing a value on traditional societal relationships. Part of this is down to the nature of the parody aspect, which gives West a version of the Motel the Tailor role…so naturally, having bent his character to fit that role, it then makes sense to make his major number “To Life” rather than “Miracle of Miracles.” I suppose the pun was too good to pass up. But it doesn’t matter much, since his true purpose is to pop up and revive the townspeople after Cthulhu’s had his rampage.

I am doubtlessly being overly harsh here – it’s rare to see a work incorporating the HWR story prior to the film, and the level of parody here is quite surface. It’s the kind of concept that would, in present day, flower from an increasingly manic passing of potential AUs. And there are a few good songs to be had in the show (which also suffers from its own legal battles, incidentally – due to the convoluted nature of Lovecraftian copyright, it’s only been successfully performed twice), most of them given in service of the Elder God pantheon (Cthulhu’s “Do You Fear Me” is a laugh riot). It’s the kind of work that would have rang fresher at the beginning of this research journey rather than the end, where one can’t help but read an element of “ehhhhh, that story, it’ll hold this other neat stuff we’ve thought up together.”

Re-Animator the Musical

Originally Staged in 2011, Directed by Stuart Gordon

A borderline-operetta imagining of the first Re-Animator movie, high on camp and offering two full rows of splash zone.

This is something of a holy grail of Re-Animator fandom. Sharing the same director as the film, who realized he could attain the same low-fi charm of the original using the intimacy of the stage, it obtained a cult following of hardcore film fans and theatergoers alike during its initial run in LA. The show has resurfaced here and there (most recently in Vegas in early 2015, in a production that featured Norm himself playing Dean Halsey), always featuring the charming duo of Graham Skipper and Jesse Merlin as Herbert West and Dr. Hill respectively – the two actors’ camaraderie and position as the spearhead of publicity while the show was running contributed to a far more charming take on Hill and West’s rivalry (and, as happens when villains are allowed to sing, with Hill’s character in general).

As to how the show proceeds, I’m afraid I can’t tell you beyond broad strokes. There is no official cast album (though the Facebook group teased the future existence of one back in September 2015), you see, or even a full list of songs. Full recordings are nonexistent, and even partial ones are rare and occasionally out of date in regard to lyrical revisions. But those who were able to see it are ironclad in their devotion, and even from gathered scraps it’s not hard to see why: Skipper plays Herbert with a great deal more ham than his film counterpart, as befits the stage; and the music that is available is fleet, clever, and unique in its construction. And it seems, for all the buckets of gore and goofy tangos, to be sincere in the treatment of its character. Evil Dead the Musical adopted a great number of deprecating winks when it came to the stage (not always to its benefit), but certain emotional beats in RATM are played dead straight. Next time a production is announced I hope to be able to hop a plane and tell you all about it, but for now, here are the tidbits I’ve amassed: you can listen to an interview with the crew which also features a few otherwise unavailable musical clips (it  includes the original technical artists from the film, who have some fascinating stories to tell about the effects work on both film and stage); a few of the songs are available on composer Mark Nutter’s website, and there are two publicity recordings featuring Skipper and Gillespie’s duets (Skipper does a mean patter song, I’ll tell you that).

The Friendship of Mortals

Released in 2010, continued in 2014 as The Herbert West Series, Written by Audrey Driscoll

A reimagining of the original canon and character study of Herbert West: who, exactly, would he become if he survived proving his own experiments?

I find myself simultaneously beguiled and frustrated by this series, readers, in no small measure on either side. On the one hand it is the only series on this list that is fully dedicated to working as a character study, manages to incorporate the brooding, slow burn atmosphere of Lovecraft to general effect; has easily the best developed and most interesting female characters in the franchise, and discards with the subtext in favor of overtly characterizing Herbert as queer (and then carrying on to explore that in an actual human framework). On the other, its roots in the world of self-publishing are at times painfully clear (though one cannot say the author isn’t canny – in addition to being the traditionally described blond, Herbert also uses a bright purple serum on his “revivification” experiments), and the series as a whole has difficulty balancing its dual romantic and Romantic plot threads.

The thing about Herbert West is that he is, in the best adaptations, a creature of extremes. The films took him down a track of obsessive destruction, forsaking collateral lives, his reputation, his one meaningful human relationship, and eventually the remains of his humanity in pursuit of an increasingly vaguely defined scientific goal (the pursuit, by then being far more enticing than the goal). Driscoll, aware that that thematic ground was well plumbed, opts to take the story in an opposite direction: if he were stripped of his ability to reanimate the dead and forced to continue after the events of the original canon (including the lingering consequences thereof), what sort of man would he become? It’s a bold experiment, and truly new ground to tread in almost a century since the story’s original publication. More than anything, it becomes an effort to make Herbert into a fully formed human being outside of his need to SCIENCE, forced by the more protracted timeline of a novel to have social contacts and interactions outside of tireless experimentation.

The Narrator (here named Charles Milburn, a cataloguer initially in charge of keeping the Necronomicon when he meets West) benefits from the expansion as well. His internal struggle between horror at West’s experiments and beguilement with the man himself proves to be a humanizing element above and beyond the original Narrator’s “well, I was frankly scared he’d murder me if I left.” But it’s Alma, this story’s Meg Halsey stand-in, who fares best by comparison. She’s an actual character with personality, motivation, and impact on the plot, far better drawn than any of her predecessors (arguably even more so than the recent Susan Greene).

Once the first book covers the events of the original canon and gives West his metaphorical rebirth things get a little shakier, ranging from frustratingly redundant (there is at least one new narrator whose section could be cut entirely) to genuinely gripping, and when Herbert himself (and not others’ assumptions about him) becomes the focus things are almost always on solid ground. There’s some trouble juggling the metaphysical elements – there’s the Necronomicon, as I mentioned; alchemy becomes a player late in the game, and there’s a whole bunch of nebulously Mythos-related Stuff in between – and I’m not convinced it sticks the landing, but those are discussions for another day (and rest assured, there will be another day).

When it works it’s a fantastic read, and those moments outnumber the failures by a wide enough margin to make the first book (which is almost free, being the most overtly fanfiction-y of the lot) an easy recommendation for anyone with a vested interest in the franchise. Oh, and a warning regarding fairly disturbing discussions of assault and child abuse for anyone who makes it further on.

As a final aside that’s still somewhere between a subtle joke and a full-on homage, Steven Universe mentions a “Dr. West” during the events of “Nightmare Hospital” – and for that matter, the Gem shard experiments bear a strong similarity to movie Herbert’s “morbid doodles.” I only hope this comes all the way around, so that I can fully enjoy the potential (West Gem? Please?)