#but those don't exist

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[raticalshoez]

Was thinking of my post about dream teams and got really invested in whatever Unrequited Hate has going on

[floef-likes-minecraft]

Hermitcraft horse name masterlist:

(Edit: thank you to all the lovelies commenting, there were so many I didn't know <3)

Scar - cOW

Gem - Skipper

Etho - Disappointment

Grian - Pluto (nicknames: Etho and Stinky)

Skizz - Shingles / Gluestick (RIP) / Drumstick (RIP) / Breadstick

Bdubs - Climb 10

Rendog - You hate to see it

Wels - Dapple

Beef - Spot (a gift from Wels)

Xisuma - nametag

Impulse - Tyler Thee Stallion (old) / Tyler Swift (new)

Pearl - Donkey (which is a mule)

Doc - Donkey (which is an actual donkey)

Tango - Cogsworth

Cleo - Jason Pendergast

Stress - Sir meepsalot

Mumbo - Llama (which is a llama, technically doesn't have a name but that is on purpose)

The Permit Office: Pig me up Scotty and Neil Hamstrong (which might be pigs but who cares at this point)

[inkskinned]

one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.

the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.

like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.

but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.

so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.

i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?

but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?

sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?

and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.

nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.

the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!

and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

This wine tastes like pigs blood!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[that-satireguy]

dont mind me just thinking about the fact that some of yall genuinely believe that the only trans people in 3rd world countries are trans women and have never considered the impact of forced pregnancy, child marriage, fgm and honor killings on trans men and when people like me talk about it you do an obligatory reblog then forget 40 seconds later and start talking about how transmasc invisibility is a good thing.

[madamemiz]

sad: falling out of a hyperfixation

tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it

[endless-ineffabilities]

✨️jealous modern Aemond who's your fwb✨️ (18+)

for context: they're in law school. the setting is Aemond's room. fwb was Aemond's idea, but he's also the one who breaks the rules and falls first.

✍️ more Aem

You lie on your side on Aemond's bed, absentmindedly thumbing through the pages of your textbook. It's for one of the classes you share with his sister Helaena, who will certainly kill the both of you if she ever finds out about your arrangement.

He has been acting aloof ever since he found out that you hooked up with his friend Robb after last week's party.

And you, bless your oblivious little heart, have no clue as to why. You didn't even make the correlation. You just suspect that maybe he's grown bored of hooking up with you, and soon, you'll no longer be burdened with this secret.

Then he speaks up. "Do you like him?"

"What? Who?" You twist your neck to look at him. He sits near the foot of the bed, attempting to appear busy on his phone. You think he's texting, but he's debating whether to change his home screen to a photo of you two together. He's wondering if you would even care.

"Robb." He can't help but grit his teeth at the name. You're confused as to why he sounds so agitated. They've always been good buddies. They even went to damn prep school together.

In fact, Aemond was the one who introduced you to Robb.

"Well, I hope so. I wouldn't have fucked him if I didn't like him," you remark crassly, thinking it would cause him to smile or smirk or hell, even offer words of solidarity like, I get that.

Instead, he takes it to another direction.

"Is he better than me?"

"I don't know," you shrug the question off, turning back your book. "Never gave it much thought, really."

"Think about it then."

"You're being weird, Aem."

"How 'bout I help you reach your conclusion."

Your bare ass is suddenly exposed to the cool air when he pulls your shorts down. He gives the flesh a good smack, his fingers squeezing the fat on impact.

Before you can ask what the hell's gotten into him, Aemond crawls up behind you, spooning your body.

You feel his digit graze your folds, rubbing at the moisture that starts to pool from your core and spreading it around. His lodges his hardening cock between your legs, and it slides easily due to your precum. He rubs himself against you, shamelessly getting off while his hand creeps up your—his—sweatshirt to fondle your breast.

His mouth is by the shell of your ears, his deep and lustful grunts echoing.

"Fuck me, what's—aghhhh—what's gotten into you, Aem?" you ask, not that you're complaining. It's a more than welcome distraction from criminal law 101.

"Shhh, just... wanna make you feel good, baby. Just take it. Let me—" He finally enters you, and it's as perfect as all the times before. He tilts your jaw toward him with a tight grip so he can steal a kiss, his tongue swiping at your lips, your cheek, and whatever else of you it collides with.

"Yeah, that feels—oh fuck—" You reach back and thread your fingers through his white-blonde hair, tugging slightly the way he likes it.

"Yeah?" He picks up the pace, the schlicking sounds from where your bodies are joined reaching your ears.

"Yeah. Your cock always feels fucking good."

"Just good?"

"Whaddaya want me to say?" you manage, in between all the panting.

"Was he good too?" He sounds needy. Pathetic. It's never a good look for anyone, but for some reason, it's so fucking hot when he does it.

"Aemond—"

"You're mine, baby. Mine." He buries himself to the hilt, before pausing, waiting for your go-ahead.

"Shit, okay."

"Say it." Because it's not enough for him. He doesn't move, keeping you wanting until he gets what he wants. Always been selfish that way.

"I'm yours then. All yours, babe."

It's as if you just uttered the magic words, because he jackrabbits to an extreme, his pelvis snapping against your ass with unrelenting force. His fingers dig into your hips, guiding you right onto his cock. It doesn't take long before he's filling your pussy with his cum. He bites down hard on the crook of your neck, his body giving a euphoric shudder behind you. When he's finished, every drop of pleasure squeezed inside you, he relaxes. He anchors his jaw on your shoulder, resting his head against yours, taking deep breaths to get down from such a high.

His moment of calm is shattered when you rise from the bed and disappear into his bathroom to clean his spend, before it dries into a sticky mess as it drips down your inner thighs.

"I have to go," you tell Aemond nonchalantly. As if he did not just fuck your brains out. Well, if no-strings-attached is what he wants, that's what he'll get. "I have civil procedure in 15 minutes."

"Okay..." He's resigned, until he remembers. "Isn't Robb taking that as well?"

"Uhm, yes, but—"

"I'll come with you," he blurts out, making you regard him as if he released precious brain cells when he ejaculated.

"What? You're not even in this class, Aem."

"I'll sit in. Don't have much to do today, anyway."

"Okay? So go out then. Call Alys up, take her to lunch. Why would you waste your time—"

But he's already at the door. "What are you waiting for? We're going to be late."

He trails you out, pleased that you put your hair up. Robb should see the marks he left blooming on your neck and know not to mess with what's his.

[adobe-outdesign]

If you haven't read the "Bunsen and Beaker's relationship" article on the Muppet Wiki you're missing out on a great summary of how the two have canonically gone from "could be read as gay but probably not intentionally" to "we're not even pretending these two are straight" over the years. these aren't even half of the entries btw

[ellecdc]

All's Fair in Love & Chaos

1st instalment ( II - III - IV)

a short blurb style mini-series in collaboration with @unstablereader no real plot, just vibes and comedy.

Synopsis: soulmate au, everyone's soulmate's initials become visible on their wrist when the last person in the bond 'comes of age' (I've left the age ambiguous because their may be mature insinuations later on in the story). As luck would have it, and much to everyone's horror; it appeared that you, Barty Crouch Junior, and Sirius Black were soulmates

poly!DeathStar x fem!reader

The day that every witch, wizard, and wix alike waited their whole life for finally came for Sirius Black; the day that their soulmate’s initials became visible on your wrist.

The mark becomes visible when the last person of your soulmate bond comes of age. For example, much to Lily’s chagrin, the initials J.F.P became visible on her wrist on March 27th, as did the initials L.J.E on James’ wrist.

Much to Sirius’ chagrin, on June 25th, the initials R.A.B became visible on Remus’ wrist, as did the initials R.J.L on Regulus’.

And so it went for the rest of his friends and classmates.

Except for poor Pete, whose wrist adorned the initials of someone who - after much research and triple-checking by all of their friends - clearly didn’t go to Hogwarts.

Sometimes, however, soulmate bonds took place between more than two people, and though it was possible for it to happen among all blood statuses, the odds were higher amongst Pureblood’s.

So when Sirius woke up this morning to a weird burning/itching feeling on his wrist, only to see not one, but two sets of initials, he was feeling pretty chuffed.

That dissolved very quickly, however.

“No…. nononononononono.” He muttered in agony as he saw two people approaching him; one looking almost as horrified as he did and one looking awfully sinister.

“Well, well, well.” Barty Crouch Junior drawled as he made his way to the Gryffindor table, dragging you over with him - seemingly without your consent – by your arm. “I thought it must have been a mistake when I woke up to find out I had a Son Of a Bitch as a soulmate, but alas; here you are.”

“This can’t be.” Sirius whispered disbelievingly, causing Barty to cackle maniacally.

“Oh, but it is.”

Any words that Sirius had died on his lips at the wheezing of his younger brother.

You, Barty, and Sirius all turned to see Regulus hanging from Remus’ shoulder as he clutched his stomach.

“I…I – oh Salazar, I think I finally believe in gods! All of them! Oh…” He stuttered in between fits of laughter.

Sirius looked between him and his supposed best mate, but Remus only looked at Regulus as if Regulus was his most beautiful when he was laughing at the expense of his brother.

Bastards; the both of them.

“Happy birthday, Y/N!” James offered, his face clearly trying to smile though it took on a pained expression in comissery.

“Thank you…” You accepted timidly, eyes darting between the group of people you suddenly found yourself emmersed in.

“Now look what you’ve done, Black.” Barty sneered as if Sirius’ last name was a dirty word. “You’ve worried our poor girl.” He cooed as he pulled you tight into your side, causing you to squeak in surprise.

“I hardly think I’m the one worrying her.” Sirius sneered back.

Barty’s face turned stony. “Just what are you insinuating?”

“Uhm, that you’re certifiably insane?” Sirius responded simply. 

“Oh, come now; Junior’s not that bad.” Remus tried to reason; his boyfriend still hanging limply off his shoulder as he tried (and failed) to repress his laughter. 

“Not that bad?” Sirius screeched incredulously. “Did you not see what he did to Crawley?”

Peter snorted at that. “Mate, you literally did the same thing to Snape.”

“That was you?” Barty asked in surprise, looking Sirius up and down skeptically.

“Sure was.” James answered on his behalf.

“Huh.” Barty chuckled in thought. “That’s where I- never mind that. I only did that because he groped Y/N’s arse.”

Sirius felt his own face turn stony as he turned his attention to you. “Is this true?”

You seemed to pale at the attention. “Well…yes? But-”

“Ha ha. Black’s just as bad as me.” Barty sing-songed from beside you, looking at Sirius with a look of faux innocence.

Sirius heard a thump, and he looked over to see Remus looking behind the bench where Regulus had apparently fallen in his fit of laughter.

“I – I’ve died, yeah? I’m dead? Fuck, I must’ve done something right in my past life to be rewarded with this. Sirius is – is bonded to Barty Crouch Junior.” He howled with laughter, so uncharacteristic of the young, stoic Black. 

“I am not!” Sirius argued petulantly. “I’m bonded to Y/N, Junior just…happens to be there.”

“If you’re only bonded to Y/N, why are my initials decorating your wrist, hm?” Barty asked salaciously, pulling Sirius’ wrist towards him to see the evidence for himself.

“Oh, sod off.” Sirius barked, shoving him aside and offering you an apologetic glance before storming towards the exit.

“Oi! Where are you going, future-Mr-Barty-Crouch-Junior!?” Barty taunted.

“To jump off the astronomy tower!” Sirius called back.

“Ou! We should go watch.” He said, turning to you before following Sirius out. “You should try to do a flip!”

“Oh, Y/N.” Lily cooed after the boys finally disappeared out of the Great Hall. “I’m so sorry.”

You let out a long-suffering sigh as your eyes stayed focused on the place where you last saw your two new soulmates. “If Regulus did something in a past life to be rewarded with this, I must have done something right horrid.”

[orb-weaving]

Recognition

[greencarnation]

eleven is fascinating to me because he came right off the back of tens horrible traumatic breakdown after he lost everything and he immediately tried to establish himself as the opposite of that. he is funny and goofy and almost childlike, and he bulldozes on in his adventures with amy like nothing happened at all. but then something happens and his masks slips and it's like oh! the core of this man is still anger. he is so so angry all of the time and this façade is the only thing stopping him from being consumed by it. he isn't over any of it and he hasn't moved on. he is wearing a fez and laughing but under that all that exists is age old anger and grief and it is going to consume him

[inkskinned]

Hi, love from Brazil!

i love you. if there's a way to put my earnest, earnest hope and care into my words, know every time you read that - somewhere in america, i am giving you a hug. the world is so fucking wide, and it is WILD to me that you got my words tattooed on you.

how wonderful that many kilometers apart, we are struck by the same thing - this is life; the moment we are in, and something beautiful is happening right now. we just need to find it.

i love you, i hope today has some kind of wonder in it. if it doesn't, i hope tomorrow does. i will watch from new england; where the snow has started falling. keep an eye on brazil for me. carl sagan said we are how the universe knows itself. know wonder for me.

[egophiliac]

Where can you play ride kamens? It looks fun looking at your blog but idk where to play

it'll doesn't start until the 30th, but there's some pre-release episodes/character bits that are scattered around the website and twitter! (the links to pre-reg/download are also on the website :D)

honestly I'm really enjoying it just based off of the pre-release stuff, these characters look like they're going to be exactly that blend of ridiculous and emotionally constipated that hits me so right.

[darkdragon768]

Various doodles of the Dorito Twins.

I just like to play with them like dolls and put them into situations.

[marypsue]

Man, it's cool and all if you see a metaphor for marginalisation in the monstrous, and if you want the power fantasy of 'what if you could just eat anybody who threatened you/pissed you off'. Me too.

However, as soon as you start saying 'no, these monsters are a 1:1 on Specific Marginalised Group, and you have to treat them in the fiction like they are directly representative of real human members of the marginalised group', BUT you also, in the fiction, make them hurt/kill/eat humans? And then try to shame me, your audience, for noticing or engaging with the bit where they kill people, because you made them directly representative of a real-world marginalised group? You have lost me, and also, I think, the plot.